#I'm never this productive!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for getting my best friend killed?

I swear to God, it was an accident.

My (27) BF (34) has a reputation for getting himself out of any jam you can imagine; and at first it was just a fun little thing the friend group noticed: there goes Oily J wiggling his way out of trouble again. but as the meme evolved in the group, it got to the point where we'd loykey started getting him into situations just to see how he'd get out of 'em, and he akept getting out of em. He was having fun with it too same as us. "Oh you guys," he'd say, "getting me into situations again," before laughing it off and getting out of it, so it was enrichment for our shared enclosures, and as time went on, the situations got more intense.

The trouble is, it turns out that putting a man in too many situations eventually gets the police interested. And not local hobsknockers cops either; they was like, proper three-letter FEDs. They put out a bounty on any information pertaining to his capture and everything. It was good money too so I thought, hey why don't I put J in another situation he can wiggle out of like always (and he'd wiggled outta worse before, so I thought this one'd be relatively mild), and at the next boardgame night (cause it was too late to do anything special for this one) we can buy some extra strong booze and get absolutely blitzed while having a giggle about the situation.

Boardgame night, and we were playing some social deduction nonsense or another and he says: "One of you is gonna betray me tonight." and I can't help but think, looking back on it, that he knew. It's stupid, I know he was talking about the game, but the way he said it, it was like he knew. We all felt it, and we had a big round robin round the table taking turns promising that we'd never betray him. And I said it so easily cause I thought it was true. Sure, I was gonna talk to the feds about a bounty; but, I fully expected my big beautiful oily boy to wiggle his way out of the trouble I was 'bout to cause, and that's not a betrayal. I wasn't lying. I didn't think I was lying.

My big beautiful oily boy didn't manage to wiggle his way out of it. They killed him and I got my blood money. He's gone.

He's gone and I'm devastated, crying, mourning. I loved him so much. We all did. And I can't stop thinking that it's my fault: that I'm the reason he's gone. and it is. and the guilt is eating me up inside. and I just need to talk to someone about it. So, I tell the rest of the group what happened in the group chat, hoping they'd understand that I didn't want this. I didn't want the government's blood money. It was supposed the be a prank. some joint enclosure enrichment. He was supposed to wiggle out of it like he always does... did, i mean.

They call me, among worse things, the asshole and kick me from the group chat. And, I know it's my fault he's dead: I know that. If I didn't do what I did, he wouldn't be dead right now. But, I didn't mean it for it to end up this way. He was supposed to be okay, damn it. I loved him. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #fandom aita #unreality #i never know how to tag the bible ones #also i don't think this is explicitly jesus christ superstar but for some reason it put me in mind of it #so that's where the extra option is from idk #specifically in my head is one particular production of it that a friend showed me when we were like. 17 #anyway i'm in love with how this one plays with modern language #good enough to post on purpose

[kastillia]

#volo #pokemon volo #pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #while looking up references i saw someone say they thought volo was one of the ugliest pokemon characters and i actually got kinda sad lol #he's just a little guy #your friendly merchant... that never sells you anything #but a curious history buff who shares little tidbits with you - and for free! what a thoughtful guy #i do this thing on twitter where i'll post a close-up wip with emoji/s as hints as to who i'm drawing and his was the piano keys emoji ;^) #please don't be fooled by this third consecutive daily upload i promise this level of productivity is unheard of from me #idk what's going on either #just 4 to go :O #my art

[egophiliac]

taps head can't get a badly-compressed shadow if you take the shadow out of the gifs

anyway, I did another little guy to go along with Najma and Che'nya! I...actually made him last year as a livestream project, so some of you might remember him (and that I eventually ragequit because it was 5 AM and the meshes were not cooperating). and, uh, then I forgot to actually go back and finish him, until Tamashina-Mina reminded me! ...sorry Cheka!

#art #twisted wonderland #gif warning #gifs that leona slouches away from really fast warning #i have once again spent a really long time on things without thinking about what i'm actually going to do with them #pre-planning? never heard of her #i just like making 'em okay #don't ask me to actually USE the things i make #what do i look like? a productive person with good impulse control? pshaw

[m0bloo]

being a jrwi fan and also a college student is the worst fate in the world i think. i have two midterms tomorrow and i'm crying over a battle between edward from twilight and a kid named after a drink.

#probably the best campaign jrwi has ever done #the production the characters the plot #everything was amazing #and they had so much fun the whole time #i'm never getting over this #plus #SEASON 2 BABYYYYY #jrwi the suckening #edward twilight #emizel tucker #the suckening #soda the suckening #jrwi show #just roll with it

[uncanny-tranny]

I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant

#positivity #pro aging #also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye #saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end #i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks #it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging #in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom #as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you #older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake #and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints #and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like... #...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same... #...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that... #...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that... #...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are... #...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself #and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older #but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences #and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe... #...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body #i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was #i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it #and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World #it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living #inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH #didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[takonxmz]

A series of stories about modern exorcists, the ghosts to whom they become tied, and the various vengeances that they may or may not take.

(A modern-with-cultivation AU for MDZS, originally inspired by Beetlejuice and now gone entirely off the rails.)

A takonxmz series of podfics of ghost stories written by @dangerouscommiesubversive

Listen on ao3 here 🔗⤵️

Jiangzai x3: A Story About Death

songxuexiao | total podfic length: 01:25:13

Interior Design

sangcheng | total podfic length: 01:58:51

Gimme Shelter

wangxian | total podfic length: 2:10:28

Writ In Blood

xiyao | total podfic length: 2:08:45

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i just finished the most high production podfic series i have ever done #there are accents i never touched before until this series #if all the fics in this series were just one big fic then this would be considered my longest podfic ever #and there was editing ... so .... much ........ editing !!!! #i didn't realized how much growth and development i'd go through in the process of recording and editing and producing these #some of my more highly produced works are these podfics (maybe after 39 Seconds podfic which had a LOT of foley effect and sfx?) #anyway the last fic of the series hasn't been posted yet so .... for me this is like. the end. for now. the completion of this series. #so i'm a bit emotional ok!!!!! #self promo #tako podfics #mdzs #my art #pentel brush pen #xiyao #songxuexiao #sangcheng #wangxian #lan wangji #lan xichen #a-qing #jiang cheng #colored ink

[bonefall]

I do feel bad for Owen. Clearly this is NOT his forte. #freeowen

I'm guessing Owen has some kind of contract to do all the covers for the "Erin Hunter" books, since he also seems to do the art for Bravelands and Survivors. Which baffles me.

When you look at his portfolio, it seems clear that animals are NOT his strong suit. He mostly designs them as monsters or setpieces, not as characters in their own right. His humans, objects, and backgrounds are excellent, while his animals are quite generic-- So why did they choose this artist to design for their xenofiction series?

The art he does for Percy Jackson and Artemis Fowl is not as jilted and uninspired as his work for any of the Erin Hunter series. He does have a thing for harsh lighting (too harsh for my taste) but the composition is fine and the characters are recognizable. Certainly not "someone tried to unlock your phone" tier. It's strange.

It strikes me like he's not "comfortable" enough with animals to experiment with them, heavily referencing zoomed-in photos and leaving it there. Note how his cats are almost never doing anything, just sitting or standing around looking confused.

Has he ever even drawn a battle cat... battling?

I don't really feel "bad" for him, OR "mad" at him, because we have no idea what's happening behind the scenes, but I WILL say that I feel he is an absolutely awful match for WC. I don't understand what about his portfolio made him look like a good replacement for Wayne McLoughlin, besides some executive recognizing his style from somewhere else.

I hope he is compensated well for his work, but I don't buy hardcovers because of his art and am holding out hope that someone else takes over someday.

#Im not being mean about that last part btw i really hope that comes across #I am hoping it comes across as 'product review' and not bashing #Because I'm dead serious that his art is a major reason I never buy the books in good condition #I always get them secondhand or digital #I own the *dotc* books because of Wayne's art. The arc I notoriously hate to oblivion #But I dislike how Owen's covers *look* on my shelf. #Bone babble #Man it's unfortunate that James Barry has departed the series but Owen remains #As much as I adore the new comic direction btw!!!! God I love the upcoming art im buying it on release day

[pikatik]

Hey guys guess what :D

#I never had an ipad or any Apple product before #My apple pencil isn't here yet and I'm trying to figure out how to get procreate here #At least I'll be able to draw on the go now once I figure this stuff out :] #Very happy bean #Sasha talks

[gi-nathlam-hi]

THEY REALLY DID THAT

THE ANATOMY FUCKING CHECKS OUT??????????? 

i was curious so i had to do a little break down of the ears for my own ref and??? 

they put time and thought and effort into something this small and I am never going to shut up about it ever.

#I saw this little note on production and now i'm just never going to shut up about it #the rings of power #rings of power #lotronprime #rop #trop #elrond

[winepresswrath]

remember on buffy when evil willow from another dimension tied angel up and burned him with cigarettes just because it was would be hot if that happened? do you remember when Kira from ds9 had an evil bisexual dominatrix counterpart, also from another dimension? the sexy evil universe where everyone wears fetish gear and is a depraved bisexual used to be a genre staple. we need to bring it back.

#i'm thinking fondly of buffy sire/childe discourse tonight #appreciate how one side was like childe is an evil unsexy word that was never mentioned in the text #and the other was like us and drusilla and our daddy kinks and love of soulbonds CANNOT hear you #genuinely tho i did like how vampire society was absolutely split on whether it mattered it was just about individual feelings #and whether you were in a cult #the most important vampires were literally just in a cult! or the product of some dude who was trying really hard not to be in the cult #but was still reacting against the cult #love that for them

[puffin-smoke]

Sometimes when I study I imagine Damien there with me, passive aggressively sighing at me whenever I start doomscrolling tumblr

#never been more productive #redacted damien #redacted audio #redacted shitpost #Ignore the fact that I'm on tumblr writing this

[tardxsblues]

The Time of the Doctor || Twice Upon A Time

The first face this face saw.

#steven moffat i will never forgive you for this #this came to me while i was three margaritas deep #i did cry at the finished product #i'm so sorry if this has been done before #i'm just sorry in general #bc this hurts #doctor who #dwedit #dwgifs #dw parallels #dw companions #timelordgifs #eleven #eleventh doctor #amy pond #twelve #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #matt smith #karen gillan #peter capaldi #gif warning #this might be the worst thing i have ever done

[likeabxrdinflight]

tired of early 20-somethings acting like harry potter was never good or had no value in its day like shut the fuck up half of you weren't even there when it peaked

#sit with the cognitive dissonance like the rest of us or shut up honestly #was it a product of its time yes #was it's author a very basic neoliberal white lady from a country with a long and unchecked imperialist history yes #was the story influenced by said neoliberal worldviews and unexamined biases obviously #does any of that make it a bad story or an unimaginative world no #you can pick apart any fantasy world if you try hard enough #harry potter was a good telling of the hero's journey written in the format of seven mystery novels set against a fantasy backdrop #we can certainly talk about its flaws or how the author's biases leaked onto the page #but stop acting like it was never good and there was never a reason those books resonated with people #it's condescending for one thing and again- if you're younger than like...24-25 you didn't actually experience the heyday of the books #if you're 25 now you'd have been like 8 or 9 when the last book came out and probably weren't reading them yet #you might remember the latter half of the movie era but you have no idea how much it was the BOOKS that drove its popularity #never before and never since has any book series had the fanfare that harry potter did and that didn't happen for no reason #so find a way to make peace with that instead of acting intellectually superior because you grew up with percy jackson instead #this 'well MY generation's preferred childhood book series is morally superior to YOURS so I'm better than you' shit drives me up a wall #like get over yourself honestly #...sorry had to get that off my chest there was this youtube video and it was irritating me

[anaid-queen]

What is his end game?

if they didn't want us to yell at the screen "YOU ARE!!!!!!!!" then why did they put that there. explain.

#i'm waiting. #armandiel #interview with the vampire #literally never over this tbh #so cheeky!!!!! of the writers / production crew i mean lol

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.

I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.

He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.

I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.

When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ally advice #transphobia #transphobia tw #i always feel the need to preface that i have a rebuilt relationship with my dad specifically... #...but that my experiences with them have served to me in many ways to illustrate... well... what NOT to do if you are in his situation #i do still grieve that my relationship with him looks very scarred and that it took a long time to get to where he is now #but i recognize that in many ways this is a product of the world and culture we live in and that he lived in #in a world he grew up gay was used as a slur. would i expect that trans people would be treated better? #and he was responsible for how he reacted but also... it's nuanced as to why he reacted so poorly #and i want people to AVOID being like he did if they EVER want a decent relationship with the other person #i want this to be a cautionary tale and that my ending is unique. not all of us are even ABLE to repair a relationship that was THAT broken #some of us die trying. some of us never get closure. some of us are in active danger because of those reactions #and that's the more common reality i have found. most other queer people have no-contact with families who pulled the shit my dad had... #...and that's - frankly - a good idea in 99.9% of cases. i will never judge someone for the way they go about dealing with that #i'm just emphasizing that i am unique in the sense that i was able to somewhat repair that