#never been more productive

[puffin-smoke]

Sometimes when I study I imagine Damien there with me, passive aggressively sighing at me whenever I start doomscrolling tumblr

#never been more productive #redacted damien #redacted audio #redacted shitpost #Ignore the fact that I'm on tumblr writing this

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

is that disney-esque artstyle, peter parker look alike PILOT RANDY CUNNINGHAM???

also ngl i kinda dig Viceroy II and Deputy Mayor Kranski

+bonus Bible designs

#rc9gn #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #randy cunningham #howard weinerman #listen i am still weak and sick and that pilot and bible leak have been killing me over the weekend lol #i never was a die-hard fan of vasquez artstyle. i think its fun and cool to draw but my personal style is closer to the disney-esque thing #but ive got to admit that rc9gn wouldnt be rc9gn without it. randy is memorable and iconic instead of being lost in disney-styled cartoons #pilot and final product are like two completely different worlds and im in love with both of them. it is now ninja-verse in my head #also i am pointing at pilot like di caprio meme because THAT is very validating for me personally cause i constantly say rc9gn is old 2000s #cartoon vibes and thats why i group it with shows like dp adjl and kp etc instead of cartoons from its own decade #ALSO x 2 i have now adopted Kranski and Viceroy II yes they are now canon in my rc9gn verse lol Judge is ok too but i am more into Kranski #who is straight up ready to murder. we love evil ladies in this house

[shaxza]

#dahlia hawthorne #ace attorney #phoenix wright #dahlia x phoenix #alexa play dark red by steve lacy #my art #since i dont want to make a dedicated post let me use my notes to vent about how much i love dahlia conceptually and how much i wish AA + #writers weren't sexist #dahlia was given the shittiest set of cards when she was a kid and she was a victim of grooming by that terry loser #she is CONSTANTLY objectified and sexualised and i think her design as a skinny young looking individual makes it even more distasteful #but i think it works if the writers could have done something with that #what i love about dahlia and phoenix's relationship is the contrast - phoenix needs to see people as innocent before jumping to help them v #dahlia who has if you think about it is innocent to a degree given how fucked up her childhood was #dahlia could have been a great case study into compassion for phoenix as she has hurt him directly but in his role as a lawyer he has to se #past certain flaws so justice can be served #and it can PUSH his understanding of what is “guilty” #yes dahlia killed people but also i choose to believe her worldview was severely warped by her enviornment and she's a product of it #or if they wanted to make her a villain and stick with it i think as a rival ro phoenix she should have been a cautionary tale #of what happens when you never learn to move beyond the shitty hand youve been dealt with and live non judgementally #anyways ^_^

[yourlocalabomination]

Sometimes even sleazeball’s get lucky.

+ Bonus:

#my fav American wh*re #I think about CharTed a lot man- it’s an issue #can you tell I was listening to Lana Del Rey while drawing this? #anyway this is the product of me not doing my uni work in class today as I should have been #btw unless I have a OTP for a character I’m generally a huge multishipper- hence why Iv drawn ted with 3 separate ships lol #adding ‘draw more Charlotte’ onto my never ending list #ted spankoffski #theodore spankoffski #charlotte sweetly #CharTed #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #starkid fanart #fanart starkid #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #tgwdlm fanart #tgwdlm starkid #the guy who didn’t like musicals fanart #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #fanart #my art

[shepherdfeathers]

Knock, Knock!

Page 5

First • Previous • Next

My fucking hand hurts, but it’s worth it for that sweet, sweet, deer angst

Comic based on @prince-liest’s fanfiction Knock, Knock! It's Your Worst Fucking Nightmare!

Story by Princeliest on Ao3

#y’all this comic is doing wonders for art improvement #I’ve never been more productive than I am working on this thing #I hope y’all are liking it I’m putting a shit ton of soul into em #Alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #Alastor comic #Alastor whump #Alastor injured #Alastor hurt #hurt/comfort #major character injury #whumpblr #whump

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[takonxmz]

A series of stories about modern exorcists, the ghosts to whom they become tied, and the various vengeances that they may or may not take.

(A modern-with-cultivation AU for MDZS, originally inspired by Beetlejuice and now gone entirely off the rails.)

A takonxmz series of podfics of ghost stories written by @dangerouscommiesubversive

Listen on ao3 here 🔗⤵️

Jiangzai x3: A Story About Death

songxuexiao | total podfic length: 01:25:13

Interior Design

sangcheng | total podfic length: 01:58:51

Gimme Shelter

wangxian | total podfic length: 2:10:28

Writ In Blood

xiyao | total podfic length: 2:08:45

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i just finished the most high production podfic series i have ever done #there are accents i never touched before until this series #if all the fics in this series were just one big fic then this would be considered my longest podfic ever #and there was editing ... so .... much ........ editing !!!! #i didn't realized how much growth and development i'd go through in the process of recording and editing and producing these #some of my more highly produced works are these podfics (maybe after 39 Seconds podfic which had a LOT of foley effect and sfx?) #anyway the last fic of the series hasn't been posted yet so .... for me this is like. the end. for now. the completion of this series. #so i'm a bit emotional ok!!!!! #self promo #tako podfics #mdzs #my art #pentel brush pen #xiyao #songxuexiao #sangcheng #wangxian #lan wangji #lan xichen #a-qing #jiang cheng #colored ink

[unproduciblesmackdown]

little shop images....

#will roland #lsoh #seymour krelborn #in true jumping off summer stock documentation form.... #meanwhile clutching the edges of a sink #clutching the edges of another one like & i'm not even that effective at finding / pouncing on Posts #like oh lord what do you mean guthrie theater uses ig stories....idek where on ig they posted the top image #i got it from checking on their fb just now. while the lower image is from their ig but Not their facebook. #making life more difficult. vs there's the ease of ''plot of lsoh generally Known here vs not knowing how they'd remix summer stock'' #that yellow purple plaid going on w/that particular buttonup is always: more like going off #and the rare dishevelment look. still some surprises like: i'm not That familiar w/lsoh. never seen a live production for instance #saw the movie once and it's been a minute. & rick moranis is there (at bmc bway closing completely coincidentally. can you believe) #leaning in over the Computer One going wait. enhance the image (re: the photos & writing in the background) #but that top image truly is already high res enough you can see will's watch reads 2:59

[spllwys]

i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza

edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one

#actually june 4th because i will be drinking on june 3rd from the moment i close my semiconductors paper #cold turkey on gif making KHBJDGVSCDH RIP #genuinely its such a relaxing thing to do that i find myself prioritising it #and unlike other chill activities it gives me the illusion of productivity #i really need to be getting that from my work and not silly bands #anyway. see u #also in my 4 years of making edits like this in many different circles i've never once felt the need to mention a like/reblog ratio #and i'm fully of the opinion that people can do whatever the hell they like and i never expect interaction #i'm grateful for what i do have #but what primarily motivates me to do this is people sharing their love for whatever is on the post #in the tags or elsewhere #i'm not talking praise or thanks or anything to me i mean 'i love this song' or 'papa looks great here' skdcvkdgvs #'this is my favourite band' u know? it's sharing passion with other people and having them share theirs with me #and in all the 4 years and many many fandoms this (ghost/st) is by far the worst for interaction like that #i'd say ghost especially skhjcsd #and this tag rant isn't a request or a 'please interact more!' or anything like that it's just #a reason as to why i'm a bit discouraged that i'm chatting about to nobody #oh yeah and especially seeing photos posted with no source and no edits get 5x the notes you'd get #the quantity of notes doesn't matter to me but the discussion and tags do #just checked my notes in the middle of typing this and someone rbed some papa ii gifs with #'hope he's steady on his feet the way i would run into him' #KDSGKDSD that's what i'm on about 😭😭😭😭😭 #makes me smile knowing something i posted made somebody feel joy abt a silly band and then shared that with me through the tags #i'm aware i've been here for just over one month so shouldn't be making judgements just yet #but sometimes i wish there was more of that

[swordbending]

I'm over people saying "give the live action a chance before you criticize it" like trailers are mostly a marketing tool to convince ppl to watch smth but they're also there to let viewers decide whether they think smth is worth their time. if people look at trailers & promo and decide they aren't gonna like it based on that that's no one's problem but the marketing team's

#like yes I'm a hater I've been a hater since the live action was announced #not gonna stop so I can give one episode a chance when I know it's gonna disappoint me lol #like ??? idk the idea of people watching promo materials and seeing what the people involved in the actual production are saying #and responding to those things with criticism and saying actually I don't think this is worth my time #isn't a problem #you're free to be annoyed with people's opinions but it's dumb to say they should wait to form opinions before actually watching the show #like that's not what promo material is supposed to let you do.... #it'd be one thing if this were a new show entirely but it's not #also there's a probably white dude playing sokka & I have not and will never get over that so #ruins the whole show for me as a sokka stan lmao #(although even if he was native he's not impressing me - sorry should I wait to watch more before forming that opinion)

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

i don't know maybe it's the translation i read but i guess i always thought it was made fairly clear that shuro never legitimately hated laios so much as he resented him for being able to be the way he was. much like laios (albeit for very different reasons) shuro's affect is frequently commented on by others to be strange and at a mismatch with the prevailing culture around him, being very reticent to the point of the part where he tells the girl he likes that he likes her being when he Proposed. quite a few characters say something to this effect! shuro was raised in formality and stoicism and i think has a tendency towards not rocking the boat even besides that, and now here's this guy who breaks every one of his rules and he makes it look so easy. it's like a two-pronged frustration of "doesn't this guy understand that you can't just do that" and "fuck, what would it feel like to be able to do that." of course he gets mad! it's frustration, but it's also envy.

#the nemesis speaks #after their fight they're very chill/friendly and in the nightmares chapter laios literally says something to the effect of #''i thought we worked this out already!'' when dream shuro shows up. so he does consider that fight to be Working Things Out #&that like. imo makes it pretty clear that shuro's dislike of laios was never like inherent? it was just another product of him not- #-being able to say clearly when he likes or doesn't like something. trying to keep a lid on that pot until it boiled over #once the air had been cleared and laios was aware of it- i mean the relief of that honesty must have been- #-kind of fresh air to shuro atp regardless after not saying anything for so long. #& i think you can't bare that much of your soul to another person without becoming friends at least a little bit #plus all of shuro's actions after that chap and his demeanor towards laios are much warmer in general #idk where i'm going with this i guess tl;dr it's not even that shuro hates laios' autistic traits it's that they're like- #-out of place socially in opposite directions and shuro dislikes how unfamiliar laios is but also kind of wants to be more like him #this is beyond just the fact that the final line of their fight (in the translation at least) was quite literally #''that's the part of you that i envy''

[stardestroyer81]

Happy fourth anniversary to... well, me! It was four years ago that I signed up for tumblr under the now all-familiar StarDestroyer81 name, and to celebrate, I come bearing some particularly exciting news I've been waiting a few months to announce...

⭐I HAVE A REDBUBBLE STORE!!! ⭐

Shirts, stickers, pins— you want it? It's yours, my friend; as long as you check out the above link! If you've ever wanted to directly support me— or would just love to have select works of mine on merch of your choice— I highly suggest giving my store a look as I put so much work into prepping it for my blog's fourth anniversary! 💙🏳️‍⚧️✨

#⭐ Star's Art ⭐ #Star Speaks #Blogiversary #StarDestroyer81's BIG Day! #RedBubble #RedBubble Artist #RedBubble Shop #Merch #Mega Man #Rockman #Pizza Tower #Rascal 1983 #Trans Artist #Artists on tumblr #Support Trans Artists #Coolness #I'VE BEEN WAITING SINCE JANUARY TO ANNOUNCE THIS!!! 💙🏳️‍⚧️✨ #If you told me in 2020 that four years from now I would both have merch for my tumblr blog and that my preferred name is 'Julia' #I would probably blankly stare at you and go back to playing King of Cards or something #Silliness aside— now you can have some of my greatest hits printed on products of your choice! #Naturally the selection of designs I have will only grow going forward though I hope what I have to start is more than enough #A good portion of the designs are replicas of shirts my OCs wear. Including my fursona's 'coolness' shirt! #I will say that there are some things there that I've never touched on before on this blog and I hope to change that very soon #Finally... while I don't particularly like to go all that much into my personal life on this blog... it's been pretty rough as of late #So again if you'd like to directly support me by way of purchasing anything in the shop... that would mean the world to me 💙

[bladesmitten]

what if i told you... there was never any upper city "content" in the first place...

#.txt #um... guys... i think larian lied... #it makes sense for there to be upper city content wrt to wyll and perhaps karlach? #but... it was not something that was cut from production #wishing there was upper city content =/= there WAS upper city content and larian just cut it #like... do you realize how much work it would be to put something there and then take it out #and rework literally every act 3 quest to make it only work in the lower city #it might have been better perhaps to have upper city and put gortrash there but as it is right now #act 3 is ALREADY an overwhelming optimization mess and it's just the lower city + rivington #imagine if it had the upper city too #if there WERE ideas for upper city quests it probably never made it to the development phase #and maybe there WERE half baked ideas. like the infernal iron thing with the steel watch. but that's just what it is. half baked. #it's okay to say there should've been more to their quests. but to say that it was there and they just removed it? makes NO sense. to me.

[blood-mocha-latte]

to the millionth degree

The metal of the jailhouse bars was cool against his lips. 

Their hands, clasped together and resting on the steel, seemed to generate the only warmth in the open, echoing room.

“Carwood,” He said, voice strained and shaking, hands warm and rough. “It’s not too late—”

“Of course it is,” Carwood cut him off. It was almost like they’d switched positions, in two years. Neither hunted nor hunter, neither loved nor lover, the same in the most opposite way. “It’s always been too late. Since… since the day I first saw you, it was too late.”

Dark eyes bore into his and barely wavered. Slender, calloused fingers tightened around his own before releasing them.

“Go.” Ronald Speirs said, and stepped further back into the cell. “Before I won’t let you.”

-

19.4k - Rated E - Read on Ao3

#rie writes #the speirton bonnie & clyde au #I DID ITTT #who's the most productive bitch in the whole wide world that only put off finishing this for two months #it's ME #anyways other normal things like thank you to my lovely mutuals who cheered this on!! couldn't have done it without you ily <3 #is a third of a moodboard a thing? is that just called a banner am i stupid #free to finally work on the other ten wips i've never been more relieved #band of brothers #speirton #ron speirs #ronald speirs #carwood lipton #hbo war

[reel-fear]

Wow, so umm... This looks bad, not only is it inaccurate due to using the wrong ink demon design [unless this is confirmation BATIM Ink Demon has been outright retconned... Which would make me pissed enough to make a new post just about THAT] but from an art standpoint this is just... Confusing and poorly done.

I wouldn't care if this was fanart, of course you should support young, indie artists... But for a Graphic Novel making sure your cover doesn't look like something Butch Hartman shat out in an afternoon is kind of important. Remember they're going to be asking us to give money to them to read this. The artist likely won't see any of that money and neither do the authors most of the time, not to mention this art screams of the artist being underpaid and overworked.

Like they Had to get something on someone's desk and their boss said 'good enough'. A concept Joey Drew Studios is very familiar with considering the allegations of poor working environments that Kindly Beast. Not to mention Mike Mood admitting in a Reddit AMA that they did in fact rush projects like Showdown Bandit. [Which they sold at full price]

He also says they can in fact say no or yes to designs involving their IP. Either Mike or Meatly had to say yes to this cover, according to his own damn words.

And do you really think this company in particular would care enough about its fanbase to not sell them garbage? They have done exactly that on several occasions. It's not like they care particularly about art either, considering their previous use of AI Art. There was no apology or even posts addressing it... Instead, they just rushed out an archives update to their game to get people to stop talking about it... Even forgetting an entire character in it. Again

This company is [or at least SHOULD BE] on thin ice when it comes to being suspected of misleading their fans or rushing out crappy products to them.

So with all that context in mind, I'm gonna talk about why this cover sucks ass.

The light sources are all over the place? Why does it look like someone put maces or knight armor on his shoulders but it's just flesh?? It looks both gross and weird [not in a good way either]

To explain more I'm going on a rant below but sadly this seems to have been confirmed to not just be a rough pass but the final cover and man... I am not excited about this graphic novel just at all. This felt like it really drained any possibility of it turning out good for me and I already had expectations low.

Okay first point, the light sources?? And there is no consistency here with the shadows or lighting, it looks like there's a hundred light sources all at once but none of them are even consistent!

the arrows here represent all the different light sources I can make out and yet the the shadow clearly implies there's only one. I understand wanting to use highlights to give the character a more clear shape but then just give him one or two lights behind him or in front of him? No matter how u follow the light sources, the highlights make no sense and the shadows make even less sense.

Why are the shoulders like that? Like on the legs it's a little understandable, at least those are clearly very heavily affected by perspective, for me I think they are so exaggerated it makes it look like one of the legs is either huge or one is small but that's maybe subjective.

However, the shoulders are unjustifiable, what happened there, what did they do??

I could pick on so much more honestly, how the color choices of piss yellow with no other colors being used, and the harsh pitch black being used for every part of his body is weird. How it looks straight out of Butch Hartman's recent crappy art. But to put bluntly bad start! Also what the HELL is going on with this background??

Seems once again the Bendy team is fine with sending out stuff thinking it's "Good Enough" for Bendy fans and honestly the people trying to tell me to "Be Grateful" for this are just proving that no matter how many times you betray your audience some of em will defend you!

Which is sad tbh. If anything we should be putting MORE pressure on the Bendy team to do better. Cause we deserve better than this, honestly we do. There are amazing artists in the bendy community who could do so much better for a cover. They've employed their fan artists before... Wouldn't it be great to do that for such a lore important book? The book that gives us the identity of one of the main characters in BATIM? The character you spend the entirety of Chapter 4 fighting to save? Not to mention will give several major characters their human designs?

But I guess this is... Good enough...

#ramblez #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #sorry I've been on a positivity streak with bendy I know but I have to be honest and being honest I think this sucks lol #Im sure plenty of people Disagree and while I would argue this is more objective than subjective people will ignore me if they want to #maybe Im just a hater idk #but I do know one thing I sure do hate this and Im pretty sure Ill hate this novel and its designs #but maybe I wont ya never know #anyways if they do retcon batim ink demon I will make a post abt how much I dislike batdrs ink demon design #and why I think all the people saying its better than the og seriously arent understanding #what made batims ink demon good or character design in general tbh #to put bluntly just bc something is popular opinion DOES NOT make it right or a good idea design wise #not everyone is qualified to be a character designer and thats just good advice in general tbh #anyways yeah thats it sorry im being mean today </3 #I simply think corporations shouldnt be able to rush out crappy products to their fans and get paid for it but ig thats a hot take now #but esp with how bad that updated employee handbook was too and it still had stolen renders from fans in it... #yeah I dont think theyve learned a damn thing

[fleshdyke]

i am normal and not seething with rage every waking moment

#csa warning for tags -> #this shit ruined my WHOLE FUCKING LIFE #i'm literally never going to be normal #i'm never going to be able to have normal relationships with other people or think about even the CONCEPT of a childhood normally #like literally anythingggg that relates to little kids sets me off 😐 it can be like a product picture for a toy or something and ill burst #into tears bc it tainted my whole fucking childhood #and for what? like a couple minutes? #i dont even know if it happened more than once. i dont know if he ever got caught. if he didnt he probably never will be #bc i cant fucking do anything abt it #like he ruined my entire fucking life before it even started. i never had a fucking chance #it ruined my entire fucking psyche. like i cant interact with people or the concept of any form of intimacy normally #ill always be wanting to be harassed and abused bc its the only form of wanted ive ever been. and i was fucking FIVE!!!!!!! #i wont ever be able to perceive myself as desirable unless im being fucking assaulted bc i dont know anything else. that shit embedded #itself into my brain so fucking early on and went unnoticed for so long that its here to stay #and theres nothing i can do. i'll always be irreversibly fucked up. not only mentally but also physically bc he was a grown man and i was #FIVE. I WAS FUCKING FIVE #ill always be in the perfect position to become a victim again. im never going to be able to get rid of this #nothing in my life is safe from being tainted by this. like i cant ever fucking escape it #rambles #vent