#I'm like halfway through chapter one so far and i think like 3 hours was grown adults talking about money and yknow that's kinda sick

[hitroow]

I love anime succession

#umineko #I'm like halfway through chapter one so far and i think like 3 hours was grown adults talking about money and yknow that's kinda sick #battler being just the ingame sprite was not an artistic choice i just can't fucking draw him for some reason #umineko when they cry #umineko no naku koro ni #unbghh I'll tag the characters later

[bunnliix]

Can't Stay Away from You - Chapter One

First chapter woot woot! This is by far, the longest chapter I've ever written, at over 7k words, and honestly, I hope this is good? It's my first time writing a/b/o, and I'm a little unsure of where this is going exactly, but I hope everyone will have fun on the rollercoaster that this fic is bound to be!

masterlist

word count: 7k

warnings: defintely some angst in here, but lighter angst?, reader is anxious at parts, but like for the most part, there's really not much to warn about I think? Please let me know if I'm wrong or if I need to add anything!

Y/n wasn’t expecting any emails, but when she heard the ding that let her know she had received one, she immediately looked. She never knew when she’d get another freelance job, so whenever an email came in, she developed the habit of checking it. This wasn’t a work email, no, but it was from one of the stores she had recently bought a couple of Stray Kids albums from. From the subject line, it was about the albums she had bought, and a fansign? She doesn’t remember signing up for one, but she also has been so busy, she probably forgot about it.

Opening up the email, she found that she had won a place at an in person fansign in Seoul, in two days. She was so shocked by this news that she held her breath, not thinking this was real for a moment. She read through the email fully, memorizing every word, she really had won, holy shit. She thanked the gods that she didn’t work a physical job, because it meant she could work from anywhere, and she started figuring out her trip to Seoul. There was no way she was missing out on a chance to meet Stray Kids.

She quickly found a plane ticket, even if it was insanely expensive, and she thanked herself for her savings, having to dip into that a bit for this trip. She then moved on to finding a place to stay, and found a nice hotel that wasn’t outrageously expensive, and immediately booked it. She’d be flying out in about seven hours, leaving her to scramble to pack and leave for the airport. Quickly packing her luggage, having a packing list made up from previous trips, she packed clothes for a week, deciding to explore a bit since she was going there. 

Y/n’s travelled enough to have mastered the skill of packing efficiently, gathering everything she needed into 3 pieces of luggage. She double-checked her travel list, making sure she had packed enough for her trip. Before she shoved her laptop and cords into her bag, she sent out an email to her current clients stating that she had an emergency occur, and that her work may be delayed by a day. At this point, it was almost time for her to head to the airport. So, she finished packing the last of her things into her carry-on. Remembering to grab her coat before putting her shoes on, she grabbed her bags and left the apartment. 

She took a taxi to the airport, and on the way there, texted her best friend Emily that she was heading out of the country and asking her to watch over her apartment while she was gone. Emily agreed right away, and told her not to worry about anything. She smiled down at her phone, her bestie was her ride or die, and she was so grateful to have her in her life. 

When she arrived at the airport, she thanked the driver, pulling her luggage out of the trunk and heading straight to the check in counter. The process was smooth and she was quickly on her way to security, which while terribly busy, went by quickly and soon she was sitting at her gate, having grabbed a couple snacks for the plane and filled up her water bottle on the way over there. She had about an hour before boarding, so she pulled out her laptop, deciding to get some work done while she waited. She finished off the last edits to one project, sending that off to one of her clients, before starting on one of her other projects.

Halfway through her second project, the call for boarding went out over the P.A. system, and so she saved her work, slipping her laptop back into her bag before lining up with everyone else. She was lucky enough to get a last minute window seat on the plane, putting her carry-on in the overhead bin, before settling in her seat as she pushed her smaller bag under the seat in front of her. She looked out the window as the plane took off, the start of her journey to Seoul, and meeting Stray Kids, was starting now. Since it was a relatively long flight, she pulled out her laptop once she was able to do so, starting back on the project she worked on earlier. She spent the majority of the flight working on her current workload, which was about four projects at the moment. 

They were all fairly simple projects, they just took time to perfect them, but it was a great way to pass the time. By the time she finished her last project, there was only a couple hours left of the flight, and so she rested and watched the clouds roll by. Y/n admired the view as they landed in Seoul, excited to explore the city. 

Patiently waiting to disembark the plane, she waited until she was able to leave her row, grabbing her bag from the overhead bin and then bringing it down, pulling it behind her as she left the plane. She pulled it along, heading towards the luggage carousel, before she went through customs and immigration, quickly clearing them and heading out into Seoul. She took the metro to head towards her hotel, unpacking her headphones and listening to music to pass the time on the train. Once off the train, she pulled out her phone to find her hotel location, quickly finding her way to the hotel. Thankfully, it was late enough that she could check in right away and head to her room. She took the elevator up, finding her room midway down the hallway, and upon opening the door, found that she had a beautiful view of the city around her. 

She dropped her luggage by the bed, and walked towards the window, admiring her view of the city. She may not be a heights kind of person, but this was still beautiful, and she would be looking out a lot during her week here. She hauled her suitcase up onto the bed, pulling out a fresh outfit, before heading to the bathroom to shower. Once she had, she changed into her fresh outfit, pleased to get the smell of the airplane and airports off of her. Since it was still light out for a while, she decided to get out into the city and explore the neighborhood around her. She packed her smaller bag with the necessities, grabbing her key card on the way out the door and quickly going back down to the lobby and out into the fresh air. 

Y/n knew travelling alone as an omega always brought risks with it, but it was worth it to be here in Seoul, both for the fansign and just in general. It was sunny and warm in Seoul, a great contrast from back home, and she was living for it. She was always a warm weather kinda girl, and the warm air and sunshine here made her thrive. She decided on just walking the area around her, figuring tomorrow would be one of her bigger exploration days. 

She saw a lot of stores that intrigued her, but thought better of shopping, she’d be exhausted much quicker if she gave into that urge. She was glad that she brought her headphones, it helped distract from the loud noises of the city, and brought the level down to a reasonable one she could deal with. The hustle and bustle of the city was normal to her, since her own city was similar, 

Up until now, her omega had been strangely quiet. Usually she was very outspoken, more so than y/n herself was. Her omega was going haywire at the moment, confusing the poor girl as to what set the omega off. She felt almost pulled forward, and her omega pushed to the surface, making her walk faster to wherever that pull was coming from. It culminated in her running into someone, and ended with her on the ground in front of them, looking up at their mask-covered face. 

“Are you alright? I’m sorry that I bumped into you.” The person said as they leaned down, reaching out a hand to her. She tentatively took it, and she stood up with their help. Standing so close to them, she could smell their citrusy sweet scent, it calling to and calming her omega. That confused her slightly, but she shook it off, not wanting to think about it now. 

“I’m okay, and really, I bumped into you. I should be the one apologizing.” She replied.

“Let’s just say we bumped into each other then? We both played a part in this.” They told her, and she could see that they were smiling by the crinkles near their eyes. 

“I can agree to that.” Y/n replied, giggling slightly. 

She saw as the other person took a breath of her scent, and for some reason they stumbled back away from her, their eyes widening. 

“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry.” They said, rushing away from her, leaving her standing there alone on the sidewalk.

She watched him run away, and her omega cried out, and y/n felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Her anxiety shot up, and tears came to her eyes. She’s so confused, she doesn’t completely understand what’s just happened, and why she was so affected by it.

She felt increasingly down as she walked back to her hotel, no longer feeling any urge to explore, just wanting to retreat back into her room and nest. She speed-walked into the hotel elevator, avoiding everyone. Once back in her room, she locked her door and got to work making a nest in the bed, using everything she could. She finished it and then climbed inside, curling up into herself as her omega cried out to someone, for an unknown reason. That, and she couldn’t take her mind off of the person who ran away from her, and everytime she thought of him, it made her chest hurt. 

In the end, she fell asleep, and she dreamed of them again. She had dreams every so often about Stray Kids, and she assumed this was once again, her brain being delusional. She dreamed about going on vacation with them, assumedly in Australia given her surroundings, but she felt that this dream was different. 

She noticed that this time, the member’s touch and reactions felt more real? It felt like these were actually the boys, and not figments of her imagination like they usually did. Their eyes seemed shocked, even as they all enjoyed the dream. They were more touchy with her, Felix especially. She noticed that he looked similar to the person she ran into earlier, but shook it off as her just being delusional again. She enjoyed her dream and found happiness with the boys, as it was just a dream, that’s all.

Waking up the next morning in her makeshift nest, she whined at the lack of someone beside her, having fallen asleep in her dream next to the boys. Her scent smelled like burnt honey and vanilla because of her sadness, but she pushed through, thinking of happy thoughts and how she’d get to see the boys later today. She got up, having to get out of her nest that smelt like sadness. Pulling out an outfit for the fanmeet, she quickly showered before changing, and then moved onto her makeup and hair. She did her makeup like she usually did, leaning more towards a very natural look, knowing if she wore too much, it would be harder to touch up later on.

Before leaving her room, she checked the rules for attending the fansign, and quickly memorized them. She headed back to the bathroom, since one of the rules was wearing scent blockers, and quickly applied them to her scent glands, making sure she covered them fully. The rule had been put into place because of an incident with a second gen girl group fansign years ago, she remembered the aftermath of it very well, despite being young at the time. One of the fans, an alpha, attended the fansign and tried to overwhelm one of the omega members of the group with her scent, and since then, companies have made it mandatory that scent blockers be worn during fansigns. 

Checking her outfit in the mirror once again, she made sure it looked right, fixing anything that was out of place. She had decided on an outfit that reminded her of a mix of Felix and Han’s individual styles, but had blended them together in her outfit. Plus, it was really comfy, and knowing she had a long day in front of her, she didn’t want to be stuck in something uncomfortable. She grabbed her bag, setting out for the day. She planned to explore and see some tourist sights first, before the fansign, since it wasn’t starting for a couple hours from then. 

She mostly wandered as she wanted, not having a specific destination in mind. She found herself wandering a market and buying some snacks along the way. Everything she bought tasted better than the prior snacks, and she had to leave the market in a hurry lest she get distracted. To her benefit, however, this passed enough time that she almost had to run to make it to the fansign venue.

She made it there in under 20 minutes, and hopped in line with everyone else, having brought her ID, and had the email that she won as well. Checking in was a simple process for the most part, however the ID checking part was the most tedious. Once that was finished and they confirmed that she was who she said she was and that she was allowed entry, she was quickly shuffled into the hall where the fansign took place. 

Y/n found herself about midway between the front and back of the hall, and almost straight in the middle of her row. She greeted the girls next to her, making small talk with them as much as she was able to with her limited knowledge of Korean. They mostly talked about their favorite members and songs, and whose outfits they liked the most in this recent comeback. Y/n enjoyed chatting with the other girls, and a couple more of the ones around them joined in as well, and just before the boys walked out, they had created a small group chat, adding each other on kakaotalk. 

The minute the boys walked out on the stage, all eyes were on them, and the cheers were almost deafening. Despite it only being a small fraction of the number of people at a concert, it was as loud as a concert. Yet it only took Bang Chan raising his hand for the crowd of fans to fall silent. 

“Hello everyone!” He said, waving to the room. He and the boys quickly introduced themselves and did their “Step out” intro as they always do. They took the first part of the fanmeet to goof around on stage, playing around with some of the items laid out for them by staff. 

During this, y/n couldn’t keep her eyes off of them, feeling almost a pulling sensation in her chest, and a need to keep an eye on the boys. She ignored the pulling feeling, trying to enjoy the fansign and commit this all to memory. She soaked in the atmosphere, the joy that radiated around the room, from the fans and the idols. It filled her with happiness, the feeling almost bursting out of her chest. 

It wasn’t long before they boys had moved onto the signing part of the fansign. She watched as each row of fans lined up to meet the idol group, going down the line one by one, and the smiles on the boys’ faces made her smile too. It made her happy to see them happy, and she knew the girls around her felt the same way. Her hand was tapped as a girl in the row ahead of her asked her to record her interactions with the boys, and she readily agreed. Once that girl was up on stage, she zoomed in and recorded her interaction with the eight idols. In return, once it was her turn to line up with her album to meet the boys, the other girl offered to record her going down the line and talking with the boys, to which she quickly thanked her for offering and y/n handed her her phone. She lined up on the side of the stage, nervousness growing as there were only a few girls still in between her and Changbin, the first of the eight boys she’d meet today. 

Soon, she sat in the chair in front of the rapper, smiling at him as she said hello, shaking slightly due to her nerves.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” She told him, smile as bright as the sun.

“Ahh, nice to meet you too!” He said, taking her album as she handed it to him, opening to one of his pages. “Where are you from?” He asked, noticing her nerves and the slight shake to her body, determined to get her less nervous.

“I’m from Canada. I flew here and arrived yesterday afternoon.” Y/n told him.

“Oh wow! Really? That’s so far away!” He was surprised she flew that far for their fansign, he even applauded her for it, to which she shied away, hiding her face.

“No, no hiding!” He teased her, and she slowly pulled her hands away, looking at him with red cheeks.

“Is it cold back in Canada?” Changbin asked.

“It’s not too bad, I guess? But I prefer it here where it’s warm and sunny.” She told him, replying to his question.

“Ohhh, you like warm.” He said, English skills finally breaking down a bit.

“I love the warmth. I’m always too cold, see?” She said to him, showing her hands which were slightly pink at the tips. 

He grabbed her hands gently, rubbing them to try and warm them up. He knew it was chilly in there, but not to where one of their fans was becoming very cold. He was so concerned for her, almost abnormally so, but he chalked it up to just caring for their stays.

“Oh no, you’re so cold! It’s too cold here.” He said after rubbing her hands for a couple moments.

“Oh no, it’s okay, Changbin-oppa. My fingers and toes are always like this, no matter how warm it is. Just my body being bad, that’s all.” She corrected him gently, wanting to ensure he knew it wasn’t the room, it was just her. 

And sadly, that is where her time with the rapper ended, with her being moved onto the next man, who was the Hwang Hyunjin, who was waiting for her to move down in front of him, which made her blush intensify. 

“Hello Hyunjin!” She said, voice a little on the higher side.

“Hello, Stay!” He said, smiling at her. “What’s your name?” He asked as he received her album, moving to sign one of his pages that she had marked. 

“My name is y/n! And we’re born in the same year, Hyunjin-ssi.” She informed him, slightly swaying in order to calm herself.

“Oh? We are? That’s amazing! What month?” He further questioned her, a slight surprise showing on his face. 

“I’m a September baby, so I’m younger than you by a couple months.” She said, watching him sign her album.

He looked back up at her, his beauty was ethereal, and it took her breath away to see him this close up. He reached out to grab her hands, both of them pulling away slightly and flinching at the zap of electricity. It couldn’t have been more than static electricity, but it felt almost like a connection of sorts. Both of them waved it off, not thinking much of it, but inside, their beta and omega knew what had just happened, and were berating them for ignoring it.

“Your name is really pretty, I forgot to tell you.” He said earnestly, his eyes feeling like they were staring right into her soul, and she could see so many emotions floating around in those captivating eyes. She couldn't keep eye contact with him and looked away, down at her lap to avoid his gaze.

“Thank you, Hyunjin-ssi.” She said, still unable to look him in the eyes.

“Stay doesn’t have to use -ssi, call me Hyunjin, please?” He begged her, leaning down on the table to try and get her attention, to which she looked up at him, giggling at his position.

“What are you doing?” She said between giggles.

“I just wanted-” He started, but was interrupted by staff ushering her to move onto the next member, to Hyunjin’s dismay. He wanted to talk with her all day.

Seungmin was next, and his gentle smile caused her to continue to smile in return, her smile not dimming, but becoming softer.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” He said, much calmer than the others, but you could see that he was just as excited to meet their fans as the other boys were. 

“Hello Seungmin, it’s nice to meet you too.” She said, telling him her name afterwards, so that he had a name to sign the album with. 

They made small talk as he signed, and then continued on afterwards. Y/n told him how far she travelled to be here today, and then expanded on her home as Seungmin asked her more questions about where she was from. She tells him that no matter how long the journey was, she wouldn’t have missed being here, and missing the chance to talk to them, for anything else in the world. 

To this, his face is filled with awe and wonder, always surprised at what lengths their fans go to in order to see them live or to meet them. She then talks about what she loves about him, and how she enjoys seeing his interactions with the other boys, and how his voice is angelic. She just about showers him in compliments, until her time with the vocalracha member is up.

He waves goodbye to her and hands her album onto Jeongin, who’s next in line. He smiled at her as she slid over into the chair in front of the maknae, who, having heard her name from when she told his fellow member, quickly signed her album, before reaching out to grab her hands, squeezing them. This shocked y/n slightly, not expecting how intense the maknae was right then and there. He however, just felt drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, and wanted to be in contact with her. His alpha encouraged his actions, and the man himself didn’t question his alpha, and just continued looking at her with a smile on his face. 

“Hi, Stay!” He said excitedly, to which y/n replied back, asking how he was doing.

“I’m doing better now that I get to talk to you.” He answered her, winking at the end and slightly flirting, to which he got lightly smacked by Minho. 

Y/n wasn't faring well with the intense nature of the supposed “baby bread” youngest member, and it clearly showed on her face, which was turning, in Jeongin’s eyes, a lovely shade of pink, and her eyes were wide as she stared at him.

“You look so cute, Stay.” He complimented her, to which she blushed harder. His grin grew as he watched her blush intensify, and to which his alpha almost purred in contentment. 

He continued teasing her, to which her responses were almost nonsensical, until the staff member became her savior by telling Jeongin that she had to move to the next member. Minho, being impatient, grabbed her hands from his fellow member and pulled her over to the chair in front of his space at the table, grabbing her album afterwards. Jeongin pouted at his hyung’s actions, watching you move over to the next chair. He only stopped overtly watching her when the next Stay sat down in front of him, his attention turning to them.

“Hello Lino!” Y/n said, a smile still stuck on her face.

“Hello Stay.” He said, shaking their hands as he had yet to let go. “Do you have any pets?” He asked, finally but almost reluctantly pulling his hands away so he could sign her album.

“I do! I have a bunny, named Jack.” She told him, telling him how she got him, and about all of her bunny’s little quirks. 

He stopped signing her album just to look up at her and watch her talk. He was oddly drawn to her, and observed her as she talked. Her smile was extraordinary and how he wanted to never see her smile fade away, he felt pulled in by her, and he knew it wasn’t her scent, it couldn’t have been since he could see the scent blockers on her skin. But she almost called out to him, to his alpha. He internally questioned if there was something more to that feeling or if it was only just because she was similar to his omegas, to Jisung and Felix. Her outfit clearly took inspiration from them, and she seemed similar in personality, so maybe that was the culprit behind this pull he was feeling.

He realized that he hadn’t finished signing her album, and hurried to do so as he lightly chatted with her, mostly about their own pets and how troublesome they were at times. Sadly, that came to an end when she was pointed to move onto the next idol, who happened to be Felix. 

The Australian man looked at her, having the silent realization that this was the girl he ran into the day prior, and did his best to push what happened out of his mind, since he hadn’t told anyone what had happened, and from the lack of reaction on her part, she didn’t know that they had met yesterday.

“Hello Felix!” She said, smiling from ear to ear at meeting her almost birthday twin.

“Hello! How are you? Also, your outfit is so cute! I love it!” He replied, a grin on his face.

“I’m well, and I’m very excited to be here!” She told him, her cheeks hurting as she had smiled since meeting Changbin. “Thank you! I tried to combine your and Han’s styles, and I hope I was able to do both your styles justice.” She explained.

“You did! So, how old are you?” He questioned, taking the time to sign her album.

“I’m your age, actually.” She confessed, as he looked up in slight shock.

“Wow, really?” He said. 

“Yup! Actually you and I aren’t too far apart in age, birthday wise. I share a birthday with one of your members.” She replied.

“Wait, that means-” He started, before she interrupted him.

“Yeah, I do have a birthday twin within your group.” She giggled and nodded as she confirmed his thoughts.

“Oh wow! That’s so cool!” He told her.

“Yeah, it’s what made me a Stay actually. Well, and your Miroh era.” She confessed to him, blushing slightly.

They continued chatting, with Felix inquiring more about her life, and how long she’s been into K-pop among other things. Felix’s omega was practically purring at having this pretty girl’s attention only on him, plus that they got to see her again after Felix stupidly ran away yesterday.

Meanwhile, next to Felix, Minho was trying to concentrate on the Stay in front of him, but his mind and eyes kept wandering over to y/n and Felix. He couldn’t help but listen in on their conversation as he tried to keep chatting with the fan in front of him. That pull in his chest still hadn’t disappeared, and he kept questioning what exactly was drawing him to you. His alpha, however, knew exactly what was happening and was very happy about it, Minho could tell that much. His alpha kept talking about how Felix and the girl got along so well, and look how pretty they both were, and ‘Wouldn’t they look pretty together in their nest?’ Minho had to physically force himself to look away from the two of them, and push to only focus on the Stay in front of him.

During this, the two people who were the subject of Minho’s thoughts and glances were saddened when staff told them it was time for y/n to move on. Felix grabbed her hand, pleading with her not to go, to the girl’s laughter and her insistence that she must move on, to Han finally interjecting and reaching out for her hand and pulling her to the next chair. 

“I heard you had a birthday twin in Stray Kids?” He inquired immediately, wanting to know.

“Hello Han. Yes I do.” She giggled at his impatience. “I’m birthday twins with you, actually. Down to the year.” She told him. 

Hell yeah!” He exclaimed as Felix overheard, the Aussie pouting at how close he was to sharing a birthday. 

Y/n saw Felix’s pout, and giggled as she looked over at him. He saw her giggling and playfully glared at her, only making her giggle more, which Han did as well when he saw what was making the girl in front of him giggle. 

Han quickly signed his page in the album, before focusing all his attention on the girl in front of him. He wanted to know more about his birthday twin, and to learn if they had anything else in common. They did have quite a few things in common, their style being one of those things, anxiety was a second, and they also had quite similar personalities. This made the quokka a very happy man, and his omega wanted to steal the Stay away and keep them and Han was agreeable with that notion. A birthday twin to share the fun with? Yes please.

They joked about how maybe this was fate, and maybe this was why she was drawn to the group in the first place, with y/n admitting that their shared birthday is what made her interested in the first place. Han smiled, with a blush on his face at that confession. That she had found the group and gotten interested because of Felix, but was more interested that they both shared a birthday. Plus, she won the chance to be here and meet them, which was even more amazing.

As engrossed as they both were in their conversation, Chan finally leaned over and interrupted them, to inform her that it was their turn to chat. Han grabbed her hand, shaking them as he thanked her for coming and talking with him, and that she’d have to remember to wish him a happy birthday when their birthday came, to which she promised she would. She reluctantly let go of his hands, and moved over to sit in front of Chan, realizing that her time with the boys would end shortly. 

“Hello there, sorry to interrupt your fun with Hannie.” He apologized, looking truly sorry to have stopped their conversation. He truly was sad that he had to do so, they loved their fans, and Jisung looked so happy as he chatted with her, and his alpha almost screamed his content at how happy this girl had made his members. 

“It’s okay, I understand, don’t worry Chan.” She told him, understanding clearly heard in her voice.

He smiled at how understanding she was, starting up a conversation with her about what she was going to do while in Seoul. Inside, his alpha was trying to gain control over him, an overwhelming need coming over him to grab her and scent her, rules be damned. He wasn’t alone in this feeling, as y/n had been feeling a pull this entire time as she went down the line, but it was stronger right in front of the leader of the group, and her omega wanted nothing more than to sink into this man’s arms right here and now. She shook off her omega while he pushed away those feelings, one thinking it was just her being delusional and having read too much fanfic, while the other just chalked it up to his alpha reacting to the fact that it was a pretty girl in front of him right now. 

They continued their chat like neither of them were experiencing anything, and she asked him about places to visit in Australia should she ever get to visit, and he turned it on her and asked about places to visit in Canada when they get the chance to travel there. Both parties enjoyed the conversation, almost feeling as if they were just two friends chatting, instead of idol and fan. They talked about animals as well, both of them gushing about their own animals and telling a couple of funny stories about them.

At last, y/n’s time with the boys was finally over, and it was at this point Chan realized he had never signed her album. Signaling to the staff to let him sign the album quickly before she had to leave, he did so. On a whim, and what he swears was his alpha’s idea, and not fully his, under his signature, he added his number. Quickly closing the book, he handed it to her, and waved to her as she left the stage and returned to her seat, focusing on the next fan to sit in front of him.

Y/n returned to her seat, feeling saddened after leaving the stage and the boys. She shrugged it off, just like she had with the rest of the odd feelings she’s had today and yesterday. After she got back to her seat, one of the girls in the row behind her that she had made friends with, asked her to film her meetings with the boys, and she agreed. After that, the girl in the row in front of her that filmed her interactions handed her phone back, and y/n thanked her for filming as the other girl waved off her thank yous. 

Soon enough, it was the girl behind her turn to chat with the boys, and y/n started filming as she went up on stage. She noticed during her filming, that the boys glanced up in her direction a couple times, or at least her general direction, she doubted their gaze was on her specifically. She dutifully continued filming, trying to get the best video she could for the girl.

Y/n was wrong about the boys not looking right in the crowd for her. They really couldn’t help themselves, looking at her when she didn’t notice, and every time they had the chance. They had never felt so pulled towards someone like this, not since they all found each other. Y/n was feeling the same way, it almost felt like there was a rope between her and the boys, and it was trying to pull her in closer. She once again brushed it off as wishful thinking, and maybe her delusions of wanting the boys to notice her, as every Stay did. Plus, she probably just enjoyed talking to them so much that she wanted to talk with them again. 

Finally, the girl she was filming for left the stage, and y/n ended the recording, handing the phone back to her once the other girl returned to her seat. She watched as the final rows got their chance to see and talk with the boys, and once everyone was back in their seats, the boys came out from behind the tables, and started goofing off again. There was a portion set aside for photos of the boys, and of course they were absolutely adorable during it. And then they decided a couple dance relays of S-Class were in order, and a part switch dance to S-Class as well, which went as well as anyone could expect. A.k.a, it was a bit of a disaster, with the boys not knowing each other's places nearly as well as they knew their own. Though, we did get to see Felix do Minho’s parts, which was amazing and everyone in the room loved it. 

Before anyone knew it, the fansign was coming to an end, with the boys sadly saying goodbye to the fans. Y/n didn’t want it to end, but as they were ushered back out of the room after the boys had left the stage, she reluctantly left. She was in tears leaving the building, and felt a great sadness at leaving, and so did her omega. She wasn’t quite sure why she reacted so heavily, but as she walked back to the hotel, her emotions only grew. Because of this, she sped up her pace, wanting to disappear into her hotel room and cry in private, not wanting others to see her like this. 

Once she was back in her hotel room, she locked the door, immediately taking off her shoes and any accessories, before crawling into her makeshift nest that still smelt of sadness from that morning. She let herself fall apart, crying as she curled into a ball. She wasn’t sure why she was so sad, she really wasn’t sure, but she could feel that her omega was really hurting. She cried herself to sleep, falling into a nightmare, where it was the opposite of her dream from the night before. The boys were the opposite of their sweet selves, and were hurling anything and everything negative about herself at her, and all she could do was sit there and cry as they did so.

Being shocked out of her nightmare, she sat up as she woke up, her chest heaving as she tried to regulate her breathing. She managed to do so after a couple of minutes, and trying to get her mind off of how hurtful her nightmare was, she reached for her phone.

She found the video of her interactions with the boys, and started watching it. As she watched it, she realized just how different her interactions with the boys were from the ones she had filmed for others and watched herself. They seemed much more intimate in a way, with how touchy a lot of the boys were with her. They were so much more emotive and interactive with her, it felt a little abnormal after the fact. She must have been so happy to meet them that none of it felt off to her, and really looking back, it still didn’t feel too odd, just a bit more intimate than the other fans’ interactions. She wondered why she was so different, and why her, over everyone else. 

This pushed her to look through her album, and she stopped at Chan’s signature. Underneath his name, there was a number, along with a short message to text him. This had to be a joke, there was no way she was living the y/n life right now. She felt as if she had stepped into a fanfiction, because why else would Bang fucking Chan have given her, out of all people, his number?

She decided to fuck it and texted the number he gave her, and he almost immediately responds.

‘Who are you?’ He demanded.

‘I’m y/n, you gave me this number in my album that you signed today.’ She replied.

‘What did we talk about today then?’ He asked her.

‘A little bit of everything, honestly, but we did talk about our pets. You talked about Berry, and I talked about my bunny Jack and how troublesome he is.’ Y/n told him. 

She also decided to send him a picture of herself, holding open his page of the album as she sat next to a clock to prove the time. Chan believed her, and told her as such. She then asks him why he decided to give her his number.

‘I watched your actions with the others and myself, and something about you and all of our interactions intrigued me. I felt there was something more to it all, and wanted to get to know you better.’ He explained, to which she was relieved it wasn’t a trick, but was also confused about how she intrigued him. She voiced those thoughts and to which he reassured her that he wasn’t tricking her, nor should she be confused about how she was interesting to him, because he honestly found her interesting from the start of their conversation at the fanmeet.

He further explained that the other members had no idea about what he had done, and he hadn’t planned on saying anything to them, unless y/n had reached out and told him it was okay to do so. Though that didn’t stop them from discussing her in the vans on the way back to the dorm, nor did it stop their discussion from spilling over into their group chat. He told her as much, and she was surprised to have made that much of an impression on them. Chan reassured her that their interactions with her were very memorable, from what he could gleam from the others’ conversations. What he didn’t tell her was that Minho had noticed Chan’s behavior, and signaled to the pack alpha that they would be talking after they arrived back at the dorm. 

Soon enough the boys arrived back at the dorm, and the leader had to say goodbye for now to y/n, Minho staring him down as they walked into the building and then the elevator. The other alpha grabbed his hand as soon as the elevator doors opened, and led him through the front door of the apartment, and straight to the Aussie man’s room.

“Who are you texting? And why am I sure it’s that girl from the fansign?” Minho interrogated him, not leaving him a second to talk. 

“You’re not wrong. I gave her my number.” Chan confessed.

Taglist: open!

#skz x reader #bang chan x reader #changbin x reader #felix x reader #han x reader #hyunjin x reader #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #han jisung x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o au #skz #stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz series

[studentbyday]

D-51 DAYS TO FREEDOM

day 1/3 of catching up on all my notes for this week...at my school, there's a student-run academic success organization where they give lots of tips and templates for how to learn. i think after the stressy mess that were midterm weeks, i really need to revisit and implement their advice (under the cut).

learning:

watch mol bio module review (if it gets posted today... update: it did not)

finish sections 1-2 of mol bio 🟡 (i am not even halfway)

write + send biochem discussion replies ✅

finish psyc ch 1/3 + watch module review 🟡 (halfway through the chapter)

finish sections 3-4 of biochem ✅

watch biochem module 4 review

biochem module 4 practice quiz ✅

self-care:

physio exercises + biked for a little bit ✅ (i got some new exercises yesterday + i still need to do the old ones so i'm happy i was able to do them all today 😌 it seems if i sit in 1 position for longer than an hour, the problems start to return, so i'm gonna try to take short stretching/movement breaks after every hour)

goal setting (lol more like re-prioritizing - ugh i can't wait to make the tracking spreads in my bujo and use purple highlighterrrr) ✅

🎶 étude op. 25 no. 5, "wrong note" - chopin

(sometimes the day feels like a series of wrong notes...i'm glad this étude exists to remind me that sometimes even "imperfections" can be beautiful)

Step 1: notetaking method (this was more engaging/fun cuz i get to let out my inner ninja nerd but either i'm just sleepy today or my brain definitely conks out sooner)

Preview the text

Read actively

Recall immediately after

Step 2: time management (haha this did not really happen 😑)

Study for 2-3h at once, breaking up each hour with a short break in which I don't consume any more info if I can't focus anymore (e.g. I can use that time to stretch). After each 2-3h "study block", I take a 1-2 h break.

Step 3: consolidate (this also did not happen but i think this isn't *as* necessary, at least so far, if i take notes using PRR)

After each course's readings for the day, summarize it in 4-6 sentences using my own words.

#another old download i don't remember the source of :( #dark academia #dark academia aesthetic #romantic academia #stemblr #studyblr #classic academia #academia aesthetic #study tips #study aesthetic #studyspo #study motivation #heyfrithams #heydilli #heyharri #heybenni #mittonstudies #diaryofastemstudent #studyingwithmila #astudentslifebuoy #100dop #100 days of self discipline #100 days of productivity #100 days of studying

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

Damage Gets Done - SAS: Rogue Heroes x OC - Chapter 9

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |-| Chapter 10

Summary: As the group returns from the raid on Benghazi, Diana is forced to confront the secrets she's kept from Paddy

Relationships: L Detachment x Platonic!OC, eventual Reg Seekings x OC

Warnings: Language, mentions of death, angst

Word Count: 2.5k

Tags: @20th-centu-fairy-girl @trenchenjoyer @dcyllom @footprintsinthesxnd @regseekings

A/N: Sorry this one's a little shorter than usual! I was originally going to include this part at the end of the previous chapter, but it got too long so I decided to separate them. Enjoy!

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Exhaustion tugged at Diana's eyelids as the jeeps rolled into their rendezvous point, the familiar figure of Mike Sadler lounging tiredly beneath a makeshift shelter, shielding his eyes from the sun as he watched them approach. She was jolted sharply awake by the sudden ceasing of the engine's constant hum, a noise she had grown accustomed to over the past few hours, and hurried to re-button her shirt, her makeshift camouflage now nothing more than a frankly embarrassing memory.

But Mike was not the only figure awaiting their arrival. Over by the car stood a woman, dressed sharply with a pair of designer sunglasses to shield herself from the glaring light. Diana suddenly recalled her first day in the SAS camp - had she truly looked as out of place then as this woman did now? The idea almost embarrassed her. But the woman's presence immediately raised a million questions in her mind - questions none of the gawking men around her seemed to share.

Men. Pathetic.

"There's a rumour going around in Cairo that Winston Churchill's son went on a mission behind enemy lines with the SAS," The woman spoke, fanning herself with the brim of her hat as she approached. Scanning Stirling's face, Diana could tell he recognised her. Actually, the more she looked, she wasn't entirely sure she didn't recognise the woman.

On her right, Reg let out a low whistle, staring unashamedly at their new visitor. Diana raised a brow, shooting him a disapproving look, which he didn't seem to notice. That stung. That stung far more than she had expected, and that was... concerning. She wasn't supposed to give a shit when fucking Reg Seekings of all people looked at another woman like that.

But he'd looked at her like that. And maybe she'd been stupid enough to think she was the only one who got that look. Maybe she even cared that she wasn't.

And the more she stood there, the more she was sure she had seen this woman before. "Sorry-" Diana interjected, suddenly realising the others had been halfway through a conversation when the entire group's gazes fell upon her. "Have you been in my house?"

"I have," She nodded, a slight smile curling her lip. "I've spoken with your father on a few occasions - he's one of the only senior officers I can count on to stay in one place."

Diana smiled, nodding. That was her father alright - a nester if ever she'd seen one. He'd lived in Cairo all her life, but she wasn't confident he could navigate beyond the end of their street. The woman held out her hand, and she received in, introducing themselves in turn. She could feel Churchill's gaze boring into the back of her skull, and could tell he was irritated at his meeting with yet another good-looking woman being interrupted.

As her hand was released, she sidestepped towards the Prime Minister's son. "Chin up, Randy. 0 for 2 isn't too bad when we're both out of your league," Diana spoke with a tone of mock sympathy. "I'm sure there'll be a whole fleet of boring little posh-o's with a history of inbreeding in the family for you to choose from once you get home."

He looked nothing short of horrified, face turning bright red, visible even under the layer of sunburn. She let out a snort, patting him on the shoulder and turning away. Making the man squirm was one of the small joys in life, and Diana cherished her chances.

But when she turned, the sight before her almost stopped her in her tracks. Reg had since discarded his shirt, arms raised in a not-so-subtle attempt to show off his muscular build as he continued to stare blatantly at Eve, giving Diana not so much as a second glance. Before her mind had quite had time to register whether her actions were altogether reasonable, she had reached down, grateful for the loose laces on her boot as she tugged it off. Standing awkwardly on one foot so as not to fill her sock with sand, she took a swing and lobbed the shoe straight at Seekings, striking him in the side.

It had not been a hard throw, but enough to elicit a yelp from the man, who stared back at her with an expression of equal parts outrage and confusion.

"What the fuck-?"

"Put your fucking shirt back on," Diana frowned. "Making us look bad, ya creep."

"Fucking Christ," Reg muttered, rummaging for a replacement shirt as he eyed her remaining boot with unease.

"And give me my shoe back," She demanded, leg raised like some kind of enraged flamingo. Seeking chuckled, shaking his head in a wordless reply, holding her boot by the laces as he began to walk further out of her reach.

"Reg? Reg?" Diana prompted, gesturing dramatically at her bare foot as Cooper noticed the situation, beginning to laugh along. Eve, along with Stirling and Churchill, had moved far enough away to continue their business without being disturbed, but she found she had little choice other than to hop after him, suddenly regretting her impulsive act of aggression.

"Oh, you shit," She called, tearing off her remaining shoe with as much zeal as she had the first, throwing the second with greater force as it collided with Reg's back. If it had hurt, he hadn't shown it, for he was too amused at the sight of her standing there in her socks upon the sand, already grimacing at the feeling of it between her toes.

"Well, what are you gonna do now?" Seekings laughed, the corners of his eyes creasing as he held out the shoes to her like she were some dog failing at fetch.

"Fuck!" Diana cried, her dismayed expression suddenly turning to a grin as Cooper swooped in from behind, snatching the boots from Reg's grip in the second that he was caught off guard. She gasped, chuckling at Seekings' stricken expression as he tossed them over, scrambling to catch them before they hit the sandy ground below.

"Johnny, my darling, someday you'll make some girl very happy," She said, craning her leg at an awkward angle as she tugged the thick leather back over her heels. Cooper batted a hand at her, wordlessly wandering off, but she noticed a spattering of red across his cheeks accompanying his boyish grin. Reg frowned, turning around and almost walking straight into a jeep when Diana smirked back at him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

For the remainder of the trip back to Jalo, Diana kept her feet propped up on the dashboard beside Stirling, attempting to get the sand out of her socks. He complained frequently, but in the months they had known each other David had long since grown accustomed to her complete disregard for what he did or didn't want her to do. Frankly, he was just glad she wasn't driving.

"You're flicking sand on me," He droned, eyes on the horizon as they led the small convoy behind them.

"You're annoying," Diana retorted, shaking out one of her socks as she flexed her toes, making him grimace.

"Very mature, thank you."

"You're welcome," She replied sweetly, and he caught a glimpse of her smile in the crooked rearview mirror. Dammit. No matter what she did, he could never quite hold a grudge. Stirling found himself wondering if he would have liked to have had a sister growing up. Although, he wasn't sure he could have coped living with Diana every day, especially not in the more petulant days of his youth.

It was silent for a long moment, but he could feel her gaze boring into the side of his face. "Whatever you're about to do, don't."

The sudden feeling of her finger in his ear made Stirling yelp, and Diana let out a loud snort, laughter erupting like a bubble from her throat. "Stop acting like a child or I swear I'll crash this jeep," He barked, attempting to sound authoritative but sounding altogether far too alarmed, succeeding only in making her laugh harder.

"You think the pair of us dying in a horrible crash is an appropriate punishment for that?"

"I'll probably enjoy it the same amount," David stated, beginning to chuckle himself as Jalo came into view up ahead. "Do not tell the others you just did that," He sighed.

"Think it'll undermine your authority, eh?"

"I find you do little else, Diana," Stirling smiled sarcastically at her, pulling up the handbrake as they rolled to a stop outside the oasis.

She grinned, taking her feet off the dashboard and straightening up as the pair got out of the car, matching frowns tugging at their expressions as they noticed the new French troops lounging about in the sun chairs, flipping through newspapers and sipping on their booze.

"What the fuck..." Stirling muttered.

"They're definitely supposed to be training," Diana pointed out.

Beginning to march up the sandy slope towards the gaping hole in the wall they used as an entrance, Stirling called back to her over his shoulder. "You're in charge for the next thirty seconds until I get back."

Planting her hands on her hips, she let out a snort. "Promotion. Nice."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

By the time he returned, blustering and pissed off, Diana had taken to staring at the tent pitched just beyond the boundaries of their little territory, the canvas blowing slightly in the breeze, a recently shot gazelle strung up over a wooden frame like the hunting trophies her father used to collect.

She hadn't even had to ask what the situation was when Stirling returned - if she knew anything at all about Paddy, she could figure this one out. "He's not done shit since we left, has he?"

"What he has done is break bones, knock out teeth, and almost inspire a fucking mutiny," He fumed, brushing past her as he made an angered beeline for Mayne's tent. At the feeling of her hand grasping his shoulder he stopped, turning to look irritably back at her. "What?"

"I'll go. He doesn't like either of us but he respects me more than he does you."

Stirling raised a brow. "Are you sure about that?"

"In fairness, it's a low bar," She nodded, patting him on the shoulder before taking his place in the march towards Paddy Mayne's makeshift sanctuary.

In the dim light of the tent, he lay down on his bunk, book propped up against his chest as he read in silence. He somehow looked even worse than he had the last time she saw him, covered in dirt and dust, his hair greasy and his beard matted. Diana didn't bother waiting for an invitation, grunting as she crouched down to sit on the floor, stealing the half-empty bottle of whiskey from beside his bed.

Paddy hadn't looked up from his book when he spoke. "So. How'd it go."

"Blew up a car," She spoke, pulling out the cork with her teeth. "Tore a hole through a building, probably killed a dozen men, didn't stay to find out. Beat up a guy in an alley though - scratched his eyes so bad he couldn't see."

He let out a grunt that could've almost been a laugh, putting the book down, open against his stomach. "Buildings don't count for the tally."

"You know I never gave a fuck about that," Diana shrugged, taking a sip of the whiskey. "I do care about this though," She gestured to the tent around them. "About you not doing your job - beating the shit out of those French wankers."

"They deserved it."

"Fucking probably, doesn't mean you get to do it. D'you think I'd be here if I broke the ribs of everyone I met who deserved it? They'd give me the fucking death penalty," She chuckled, almost passing the bottle back to Mayne before rethinking it.

He smiled then, a sliver of teeth showing. After a pause, Paddy spoke. "Why'd Stirling send you, then? Scared to deal with his own problems as usual."

"He was gonna come - I stopped him. Figured you and I could have a more productive conversation."

"And why the fuck did you think that?"

"Because, unlike Stirling, I don't feel threatened by you."

"Oh, bullshit, yes you do."

Diana's brow furrowed, her frown creasing her cheeks. "No. I don't."

Paddy's head lolled to the side, his gaze finally meeting hers. "Then why won't you talk about Eoin?"

She almost choked, a held breath stoppering her throat and making her feel the need to gag. No one had mentioned Eoin's name to her, not since it had happened. Those that had been there knew what she'd been through and left it alone. Those that hadn't didn't know enough to ask her about it. Until now.

"You don't need to know about what happened to Eoin," Diana spoke, her voice meek, barely above a whisper.

His brow furrowed angrily. "You don't get to fuckin' tell me what I do or don't need to-"

"No, no!" She pushed, holding up a hand to silence him. "Let me speak. What I mean is you - specifically you - don't need what happened to him stuck in your head..." In the dim light of the tent, Paddy could still spot the beginning of a tear welling in her eyes. "I know what you went looking for out in the dunes, Paddy, and I know you didn't find it."

He sucked in a sharp breath, the air hissing as it was dragged through the gap in his teeth. "I think you should leave now."

"I didn't tell you about what happened because I blamed myself. And I was scared of what would happen if you did too."

No one spoke for a long time, the desert wind whistling through the gaps in the canvas, the open tent flap swinging back and forth with a repetitively smacking sound as it collided with the outside. The whiskey bottle was tucked between Diana's knees, but she didn't reach for it.

"Weren't your fault." He uttered. She looked up at him with those big, brown, sad eyes of hers, and he almost wanted to hit her. Paddy had never known how to deal with sad people. "Maybe you'll never tell me what happened, but-"

"One day I will."

"But, I know it wasn't your fault."

Diana sniffed, wiping a stray tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "Yeah," She nodded. "Yeah... thank you."

Paddy nodded, picking up his book and resuming his reading. She almost laughed, pushing herself up onto her feet.

"Y'know... you're gonna have to apologise to the French."

"Oh, fuck off - you know I won't."

Diana chuckled. "I do. But now I can tell Stirling that I told you to, so it's not my fault when you don't."

The corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk. She turned to leave, pausing in the opening of the tent. "Oi."

"Aye?"

"... Wanna go cook the gazelle?"

Paddy took a long pause, thinking this over. After a prolonged moment of silence, he tossed the book aside, pushing himself to sit up with a grunt.

"May as well. Not giving that Jordan prick any, though."

She smiled. "We'll see."

#sas rogue heroes #sas rogue heroes fic #sas rogue heroes oc #david stirling #paddy mayne #reg seekings #reg seekings x oc #johnny cooper #eve mansour #sas: rogue heroes fic #sas: rogue heroes #oc: diana

[ghnosis]

PhD/writing/interview update 28 March 2024

hi everyone! ^^

to date, 67 queer ghesties have submitted consent forms to be interviewed. holy shit. I had a goal of 100, so we're over halfway, this rules!!!!!

here is some info if you are interested in interviewing or know someone who might be.

I book 10 interviews a month - I have 3 spaces left for July. you have to be 18 to interview.

spaces are first come, first served - when you send me a signed consent form, I send you the link to sign up for an interview time.

interviews are text based, take one hour, and usually take place over tumblr chat, but if tumblr chat is super glitchy for you, I have also done interviews on discord.

the links to the consent form seem to break every now and again. if the link is broken, DM me!

I am going to keep accepting consent forms! the more interviews, the happier I am! I do feel bad that y'all are excited and then I'm like "cool sit on your hands until July" but I am only one person doing her best to juggle a job, hobbies, 4 pets, and a PhD.

other stuff below the cut

my comprehensive exam is in June, after which (gods willing, I pass) I will be writing the actual dissertation/thesis. I don't know how long this will take; my maximum thesis submission date is in 2029, I think, but I'm REALLY hoping to be done before then, this process is the hardest thing I've ever done by far.

I'm pretty curious about the total size of the fandom. does anyone have a guess? or a way of finding out? I'd like the final sample size to be a good slice of the fandom, but I don't know what kind of goal to set for that.

some 17 year olds DM'd me which was very kind and I appreciate their enthusiasm, however please DM me again after your 18th birthday, as I do not have ethics approval to speak to minors about sex fanfic :C

I'm in the midst of edits to a chapter on AO3 monsterfuckers that I'm pretty excited about, I have no idea when that book will be published. I have a chapter on an Undertale-inspired spell in Fictional Practices of Spirituality, Vol 1 and one on late-twentieth century vampires and feminism in The Palgrave Handbook of the Vampire. I have a book review of Heather Petrocelli's dope book Queer for Fear coming out in Revenant Journal, no idea when, and my first published work on Ghost fans will also be in Revenant Journal, no idea when.

if you're interested in my work and don't want to buy a whole-ass book, DM me. ;)

if you made it through all that, here is a photo of my fool dog Beans. she likes French kissing and licking noses.

#self promo #not ghost #phdiary #getting a phd in ghost

[benkyoutobentou]

31 Days of Productivity Reading: Day One

Before: I’ve been looking forward to this day, March first, specifically for this little reading challenge! I’ve been “saving” my books to read, which is at once a habit that I do often when something like this comes up and something I know I should kick the habit of. It’s not like I’ll run out of things to read. Ever. But to start out, let’s do a quick rehash of my goals for the month (don’t worry, this’ll be the only time I do this):

Finish No. 6 volume 3

Read 憎らしい彼

Read another novel (today I’m leaning towards 独り舞. Tomorrow? Who knows)

Read at least ten volumes of manga

Read at least an hour per day

[I'm putting the rest under a read more because it ended up being unusually long. ごめんね！]

For today’s plans, I’m going to walk to the library and get a bit of studying done. I’m in a huge Mandarin study mood and I think the long walk will be good for me, both mentally and physically. I’ll also probably read a bit at the library after I’ve finished studying. I’m starting off the month with No. 6 and if I still have some left over reading energy at the end of the day, I’ll probably read ウツボラ (下). I read the first volume a super long time ago, and as much as I adore the manga of 中村明日美子 this one was way above my level when I tried it last. I usually find her manga to be on the more difficult side, but I also always find that the stories are worth the effort.

I’ve seen some people on YouTube time themselves reading when they do reading challenges, so I’ll probably try that out, even if I doubt that I’ll actually do it for the whole month… It would also be interesting to have a more accurate idea of my reading speed in Japanese, and to be able to see if that changes over the course of the month.

After: In a series of unfortunate events, I didn’t end up reading at all at the library because I probably spent thirty minutes looking for my hold book and still couldn’t find it (they filed my name wrong, the paper slipped to where you couldn’t see the name on it, and the spine of the book is a completely different color than the cover). And since I walked, I didn’t want to walk home in the dark.

Mildly related notes- I can’t go anywhere without my dog begging for a walk, so I had to take her out before I could walk to the library myself. I also found it mildly amusing that the chapter I started at the library was library themed.

One hour update: My reading pace is (so far), pretty much exactly where I thought it was, which is about five minutes per page, give or take. Luckily, I've honed in to my reading weakness. Unfortunately, it's a big category. Vocabulary. Vocabulary is my weak point in studying and I go through phases in which I study a ton of flashcards or none at all. I know that I need to get back on my JPDB game, but. Ough. I'm just glad that I usually don't find any issues with grammar, and my reading speed when I know the words really isn't all that bad (as far as I'm concerned).

Final report: For the day, I've read about two hours and ten minutes give or take (I accidentally reset the timer eight minutes in) and nearly finished the chapter I was on of No. 6, completing about thirty ages in that time. I didn't get to reading any manga today, but that's fine. I would like to finish the chapter before I go to bed since I only have ten pages left, but that's still another hour of reading (hopefully less, since most of it seems to be dialogue) and it's getting late, hence why I'm updating now and not when I actually stop reading for the day. Night owl problems. Finishing the chapter would also put me at nearly halfway through the book. God I love short books! As usual, this series is wonderful and I always have a great time whenever I pick it up.

#benkyou posting #30 days of productivity #langblr #studyblr #language learning #studying #polyglot #booklr #study blog #check my slatch tote #homemade tote bag for an obscure series check

[piracytheorist]

Okay thoughts about the musical! I will go into a bit of a detail so if you prefer being surprised by how things appear in the musical, then skip this post.

It's about 2 hours and 40 minutes long, not counting a 30-minute-long break in the middle and the last ten or so minutes of bows and the cast saying goodbye. It's a big thing, though it doesn't show anything that hasn't been shown in the anime already - although from what I noticed, the lyrics and dialogue are based on the manga dialogues. It even adapts scenes from "Fullmetal Lady", which was adapted by a manga chapter further down the line.

First thing you hear after the orchestra tunes up is sounds of guns firing and bombs falling. The music starts and it's soon joined by a young Twilight crying.

Yeah :)

It's framed as Twilight looking at his past. After this very intense and dark intro, it starts adapting from the very first page of the manga. Some stuff are shown as "action" on a projected screen. The Handler appears from the very beginning, acting like a sorta narrator and also the one who introduces Operation Strix to Twilight.

It skims through details, but main scenes are kept and half the time the dialogue is spoken, the other half sung. I did not particularly like that they took the manga dialogues as they were and simply turned them into lyrics, there are lots of instances where the rhythm and lack of rhyming sounded awkward, but it's not too distracting from the entertainment.

I'm not an expert in musicals, but it looked like a well-standing production. I can't lie that I did notice some weak spots in the main actors' singing, but I give a pass because it was a very long production and they might have been tired from constant rehearsals and performances. Around 2/3 of the first part Twilight's poor actor was sweating buckets and didn't even have the time to wipe it off. But he still acted, sang and danced without showing any signs of tiredness or stress. In fact he was pretty funny in his acting! Yor's actress did some cool moves, too, she looks so badass as the Thorn Princess. The Anya actress from the performance I watched was very good, especially for her age! Good singing and great "placement" on stage.

Franky was fun! He seemed to really enjoy it, or simply really really get into the role. The Handler had some awesome dance moves and a strong voice, they knew what they were doing with her actress - also she has a very swaggy song right after the break, that accompanies the "Fullmetal Lady" part. I hope they release the songs from official recording off live performances, cause some of them are pretty cool!

And I swear, Yuri is far from my favourite character in the show, but just like the English dub, in the musical he just serves. He's so fucking enjoyable, and looked super professional in his dance and sing combo - I might need to rewatch, but he might have been the best at singing and dancing at the same time from all the cast. Paired with his overdramatic acting he was so much fun to watch!

By the way, the choruses were damn near impeccable. While I noticed a few flats and weak high notes from the main cast, I don't think I noticed a single mistake from any of the chorus parts. I was even taken aback by one; when Anya has a flashback of the lab scientists, said scientists sing in a chorus about how she has to study and has no time to cry and play. And it's awesome! Though you also feel sad because halfway through it Anya (the character, not the actress) bursts into tears and you're just like :( stop hurting her :(

The design changes are cool and smooth. Some back dancers/singers help with the changes sometimes but they feel very part of the whole thing. It doesn't take you away from the action. Fight choreographies are pretty good, too. I mean, they are theatrical ones, it's obvious they're fake, but they're faked well and professionally. You don't expect cutting and montage on a theatrical performance, after all!

You might have noticed from the video I posted, but Henderson's actor did a good job being a meme playing.

In general the whole presentation has a feeling of... not taking itself very seriously. Like, they have an entire movement just for Bondman! It's still very professional but they also take it a little lighter - aside from scenes where gravity is needed, like when Anya or Twilight have their flashbacks, when Yor kills her target, when Yuri interrogates that guy they arrested, etc. I think there's a good balance overall.

After Yuri's visit ends, Twilight has his moment of thinking how he felt jealous of Yor and Yuri, and though the acting was a little subtle, I really liked it! I like it as a moment in general so I'm glad it was added there and done justice!

I'm not sure whether Fiona really had time to be a part of the musical. She only appears a little before the end, in an adaptation of the "Nightfall" episode/chapter, and though it's done well (and the singer has a great finish line) it feels a little shoehorned in, lol. She was still enjoyable and I understand why they added her, but still. She was fun to see her fangirl about Twilight and Twilight being none the wiser - I feel that was even more accentuated there since it was live action, lol.

Near the end is also the Loidman part, with a choreographed fight between Loid and Yor! I missed some action though because some cameraman decided to film Anya's reaction from up close instead. Cute, but not the center of attention, dude!

Anyway, it then ends with a bit of a "summary" of how Anya has to become an Imperial Scholar (we get to see her in her school uniform!), and a full-cast and chorus reprise of the beginning song, which is certainly not an earworm for me right now SUBETE WA YORI YOKI SEKAI NO TAME NI I mean what

Overall, it's quite entertaining, and I'm not a big fan of musicals myself! Again, it's a long watch, and you have to be mindful that you're watching a filmed theatrical performance, but I would recommend it for its humor.

#sxf #sxf musical

[queen-scribbles]

for the fanfic ask game: ⭐ and 🎵 for TLBT?

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Not a playlist(aside from listening to Lindsey Stirling on repeat while writing), but Their Song(Talk Too Much by COIN) still applies, and I do have a folder with a handful of 20s love songs from the MFMM credits that I wanna maybe work in if I can figure how :3

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

Pretty much the whole thing lmao. This is one of those fics where I'm extremely happy with/proud of like 98% of it(that 2% is dialogue/transition lines I think feel off but that's probably just from staring at them for 87 hours during typing/editing xD).

The scene I'm proudest of, I think, actually isn't in the fic yet, but I've had it waiting since about halfway through chapter 1. :3 It should be in the next chapter, possibly the one after depending on if how badly the next one gets away from me. I can't wait

But of what's published so far, I'm probably proudest of Ryn and Red's reunion scene. It's a thing with me that I get wordy and let stuff run away with me all the dang time, so that I both A) got smooth transitions into and out of her flashback/memory setting up their relationship and that 10 years apart and B) kept it relatively succinct is something that makes me very proud of myself. 😊

#writing asks #tlbt #the songs are saved on a different computer but i can dig them up if anyone is curious for titles :3 #there's a couple that are def getting referenced at the gala #yanno assuming ryn finds the nerve to ask red to come with her

[umichenginabroad]

Madrid Week 9/10: Viva Italia (part 2… part 1)

Hola a todxs!

Niko back here with week 9 of my study abroad experience. I’m a week late on this one... because last week was spring break (semana santa/holy week, the week leading up to easter)! I was a bit tied up with traveling (which I’ll get into in this blog), so I couldn’t find any time to write. The positive (or negative based on how much you like my writing 🥲) is that I’ll be posting two blogs this week about the trip to make it more digestible, since there is a lot to tell.

So, the week leading up to Spring break was filled with a little bit of scrambling to get all of my stuff done (a paper for Spanish and a presentation for my culture class, which I also think I’ll end up writing a blog about), but once Friday hit, I was free — ready to immerse myself in the true Italian experience 🤌. 

The amount of culture in Italy is pretty crazy — I don’t know many other European countries with as many iconic cities as Italy, except for maybe Spain. Beautiful and historically significant places are sprinkled throughout all 301,340 square kilometers, and I think it’s safe to say that I’ve seen a lot of it. Italian fashion, history, wine, geography, and food are also iconic.

It’s also safe to say that I won’t be eating pasta or pizza again for a couple weeks now. I ate primarily carbs for every single meal, and I honestly don’t know how I didn’t end up feeling terribly weak or something like that halfway through due to the lack of protein and nutritious diversity. Quality ingredients I suppose?

Now, I’ll walk through each destination of my break in mini chapters and reflect a bit about each one.

24 hours in Lisbon

When planning out the trip, the cheapest flight that we could find routed us through Lisbon to get to Rome. Seems counter intuitive, I agree, but that’s how it worked out. For the first leg of this trip, I was traveling with one of my Madrid roommates and 3 of his friends that he knew from his hometown. 

We had just under 24 hours to get a feel for the city. My conclusion: Lisbon has a wonderful energy. The buildings are beautiful and the narrow streets have a playful way of winding through the city. There are hills in every direction, cute yellow trams bustling about, and the Atlantic ocean is never too far away. I'd already been to Lisbon with my family a few years ago, but it was really nice to experience it from a more grown up perspective.

We went on a free walking tour (pro tip — free walking tours aren’t actually free. Get cash beforehand for tips so you aren’t scrambling to find an ATM when the tour ends [spoken from experience]), listened to a busker perform beautiful Bossa nova (not Portuguese, I'm aware) at an overlook of the city, ate Pastel de Nata (fire af, highly recommend), and zoomed around a little bit on Lime scooters before getting back to the airport to catch our flight to Rome. Pictures tell the better story than I could!

When in Rome

The amount of time we said “When in Rome” or “Hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day” was probably too high to shamelessly write down in this blog, but I don’t regret saying a single one. I mean hey, when in Rome, right? 

If you plan on going to Rome, especially during easter, this is the best piece of advice I could give you: book things far, far in advance. I thought it would be cool to book museums and whatnot the weekend before.

Terrible idea. Everything was sold out, and I had to resort to booking expensive tours and second party resell tickets in order to see what I wanted to see. Hopefully, my bank account took the L so that no prospective Italy spring breakers have to. Book in advance from the official websites, and pay the little bit extra to skip the line!! It is worth it.

Rome has an incredible energy that is really enhanced by the history that flanks every inch of it. Anyways, what did I see that I didn't book in advance?

The Vatican Museums/St. Peter's Basilica: pretty insane how beautiful every inch of that building is. Unfortunately, because I was on a timed tour, I didn’t get to fully appreciate all of the art that was in the Museum, but I got a good long while in the Sistine Chapel, which is simply marvelous. The Creation of Adam is truly epic. Michelangelo is the goat. After this trip, I’m a big fan. Michelangelo also designed St. Peter’s Basilica, which I climbed to the top of. It’s also epicly huge and beautiful, and offers amazing views of the city.

The Colosseum: worth going inside — especially if you have a good imagination. Looking down at the arena floor, I imagined gladiators brutally fighting to the death with bloodthirsty Romans sneering and cheering them on from all sides. That happened right where I was standing. Even a peasant in the nosebleeds would have been close enough to the action and seen the killing in gruesome detail.

The Roman Forums: also a big imagination thing. Imagining standing in the center of Rome, massive white marble buildings towering above, cheering peasants on all sides, while the Roman emperor parades through the streets with golden chariots filled with riches pillaged from far away lands.

The Borghese Gallery: Probably my favorite thing in Rome. The pictures speak for themselves, some of the most impressive sculptures I’ve ever seen in my life (close tie with the David in Florence).

The Pantheon: It's crazy how old this thing was (like 2000 years), and how good of a condition it's still in. That's what happened when you transform a pagan temple into a church, I guess.

Rome itself: Rome is also filled with beautiful, free to access public Piazzas and monuments that are also worth visiting. There is a distinct vibe to each neighborhood, tons of delicious food, cool sunset spots, and good vibes both day and night.

My best recommendation for truly experiencing the epic history throughout the country? RICK STEVES! Rick Steves has audio guides for almost all the biggest tourist attractions in a ton of Italy (and the rest of Europe!) His guides are funny, help you visualize, are super informative, and most importantly, FREE! Using his guides really added to my experience, I listened to them every chance I got. Click here for his Italy guide.

On Tuesday, the friends that I came with left to see other parts of Italy I hadn't planned on visiting, while I took an extra day to explore Rome. I engaged in some Solo-traveling (my first true solo travel of the semester), and my confidence in spending time alone and building connections grew. I stayed in a hostel for two nights and ended up meeting a fellow solo traveler, who happened to be Argentinian. We formed a meaningful connection, and shared mate on Thursday morning — a custom I really missed from my time in Buenos Aires.

Fire-nze 🔥

For those of you who didn’t know (I didn’t before going to Italy) Florence is called Firenze in Italian. Not sure where that distinction came from. But I like it.

I stayed with a home friend of mine, Shea (she stayed with me in Madrid a few weeks ago) who is studying there for the semester. I spent four days in total in Florence, two of which I used to take short day trips to nearby cities.

Florence is the birthplace of the Renaissance. As a result, the museums there are pretty insane. The Uffizi has the most impressive collection of Renaissance paintings, probably in the world, with works from Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Raffael, and more. The Rick Steves tour is great for this one.

The Accademia is home to Michelangelo’s the David. More about how seeing it made me feel in the reflection section. But it’s epic.

Florence also has a pretty insanely huge church, the Duomo, and the story about how it was designed is also crazy. In conclusion, the Renaissance men are goated. They were literally good at everything, art, sculpting, engineering, architecture, you name it, they could do it. How I’m tryna be for real. 

Going ta’ Bologna (I tried to make it rhyme i'm sorry)

My day spent in Bologna was one of my favorites this trip. I took a day trip there alone from Florence, a quick 1 hour train ride. Bologna has an amazing vibe. It smells fantastic everywhere (food markets, soap shops, flowers, etc. Beautiful.). It felt really local. There were a good amount of tourists, but Italians far outnumbered them, which was a different story from Florence and Rome, both of which were pretty overwhelmed (especially true in Easter week). 

Bologna is also a University Town, so it was filled with young people and overall had a great energy. I spent the day just exploring, eating (I had the best lasagna of my life. Bologna is known for its food scene and it did not disappoint. Ever heard of spaghetti Bolognese? Yeah.), and did a mini pilgrimage to see a cool monastery on a big hill. Fantastic vibes overall, 100% would recommend seeing. 

_________________

I would have included more pics, but I was limited by tumblr lol. I’ll discuss the rest of my trip and some big reflections I took away from it in the next post I’ll make soon! If you’re reading this after I’ve already posted all the blogs, you can find the next post here.

Ciao,

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

[email protected] 

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPEUC3M #NikoEconomos #IPEWinter24 #Spain

[eaglefairy]

I think, at some point earlier in this liveblog, I said that I've never played a game that felt so dedicated to making me dislike it while I'm trying to enjoy it, and however many hours later I am into x*noblade 2, this is still 100% true.

I think the worst part for me is that it's not just the gameplay or just the story/worldbuilding/etc I have problems with. It's both. The map and the menus are both far worse and less navigable than the first game (I'm about to redo my equipment soon and I am dreading that), and everything is so horribly explained that I genuinely gave up during chapter 3 on my first playthrough. (To be fair, this game at launch had a lot more issues than it does now, and a lot of things got fixed with the dlc and patches. Speaking of which...)

I sincerely dislike nearly every single aspect of the blade system. It was DEFINITELY one of the main things that made me drop this game back in 2017. I was failing constantly in battle because I didn't know what I was doing, so naturally I wanted to get more blades. But it was Gormott in chapter 2: the only option available to me was the gacha. But again: 2017, so I didn't have access to all the crystals in the DLC, so I could barely summon any blades! Not to mention how the game completely betrays you, the player, by giving you Tora as the third party member when he can only equip the Poppis. One thing that is crystal clear is that the core gameplay loop of this game is built around chain attacks (which aren't unlocked until chapter 3, by the way). This game's combat is at its best when every Driver is equipped with 3 blades, and that is literally impossible for Tora until over halfway into the game! Not to mention Tiger Tiger, which is a minigame from hell (and didn't have easy mode at launch, just saying).

Oh, but that's only the gameplay aspect! There's still blade designs and lore to talk about! Blade designs...okay. listen. I don't like how a lot of the blades look, I will say that upfront, and it is because of the designs of the female blades being so sexualized. However, that isn't actually my only problem with Blade designs. Honestly, I'm more disappointed that there aren't more cool animal blades. Like, we got Dromarch! And that's about it. There are some other monstery rare blades like Wulfric and Boreas, but the vast majority are just Hot Anime Tiddie Women and frankly I feel like that's a failure of imagination. And blade lore. I know I've said this a lot before, I'm waiting to say my full piece on this until I have full context, but the pieces I have are not looking good. (Thinking about how the first thing the party asks Vess when they meet her is "Where's your Driver?" still eats at me tbh.) Bonus points for synergizing in the worst possible way with the gacha mechanic: one of the thematic cores of this game is that blades are people and not just weapons of mass destruction, which is why I've summoned and discarded at least 100 of them in the past few days trying to get the specific one I want to optimize my build. As for the combat, I will give it this: I have warmed up to it significantly over time. Now that I know how pouch items work, what the intended flow of combat is, and have enough blades on my characters that I can always switch to have new arts refreshed, I'm enjoying it a lot more. That doesn't mean it doesn't have problems, though! I feel like Torna really encapsulates what this game's combat should've been; I had much more fun playing through that than I did the base game, for sure. Even though the way they did chain attacks in this game is fun and interesting, it just takes way too long. For context, chain attacks are extended by breaking element orbs that you've placed on the enemy in preparation. Element orbs are placed on the enemy by completing combos, which require 3 special attacks done in a specific order of elements to complete. There are 8 elements in the game, which means if you want to use chain attacks to their fullest extent, you have to do 24 special attacks. In order. While relying on the AI to pull up the blades you need on the party members you aren't controlling. This means that a lot of unique monsters and bosses have these oceans of HP to slog through because they need that much HP to just survive to the point where you can do a chain attack. Regular enemies thankfully don't suffer from the same HP problem, but they have a different problem (that crops up in 3 as well). Chain attacks just...aren't useful to fight them, the most common enemies in the game. Chain attacks may have been unreliable in 1, but when the enemy being targeted died the chain attack would swap to focus on a different enemy. This gave them utility against both bosses and packs of regular enemies. They don't do that in either of the following games, meaning that for a lot of battles that are challenging in a different way from singular tough enemies, one of your strongest strategies is almost useless.

Edit: forgot about this while I was writing but came back to say: my brain is not big enough to account for both driver combos AND blade combos. It just isn't, that or I just don't have the willpower to sort through everything to make sure I have at least one blade of every element AND at least one of break, topple, launch, and smash on all my characters. It's not happening. Will my gameplay experience suffer for it? I don't know! Just add it to the list of mechanics in this series I don't fully understand and we'll be good.

As for everything else...I don't know, man. The pacing is slow and bored me to tears in the beginning, the main villains are either very interesting or very annoying, I want to punt Tora into the sun at all times (and not in the vaguely affectionate way I feel about Issun in Okami), and the game is addicted to splitting the party all the time when frankly it should know that its at its best when there are 3 members with 3 blades who can do chain attacks. Honestly, I think my feelings on the game can be summed up by the words of many other people. People who, when asked if x*noblade 2 is worth it, tell the asker "it has a slow beginning but it gets good starting in chapter 5." Which is true, but...the game only has 10 chapters. That's not just a slow beginning, that's literally the whole first half of the game that you're writing off!

#alrestposting #omg this is so long do not read this please #this is literally just me venting/ranting about the game for 1000 words #(that's why the name of the game is censored btw. this doesn't need to go into the main game tags) #also I'm probably going to write about some of the things I like soon just to balance out the negativity

[whataperfectwasteoftime]

Born to Run / Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Marathon Runner f!reader (no y/n)

Rating: E for eventual smut

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: TW: Attempted assault (EVERYONE’S OKAY), creepy person being creepy, one punch, some light injuries sustained by reader, the beginnings of pining!Marcus.

Summary: A long training run on your favorite bike trail is interrupted. Marcus discovers the source of the scream and develops a lil crush.

A/N: And we're off! Thank you so much to everyone who said they wanted to be tagged in this! I've never written this much at one time in my LIFE. I'm sure updates will slow down as I am forced to stop writing and get caught up on my actual job that I'm supposed to be doing right now. Let me know what you think. I have no idea if the pacing is too fast, too slow, or just right, if the characters are believable, or basically anything, really. Turns out it's hard to make a silly fantasy in your head make sense as a fleshed out story! Who knew? Not me!

Prologue | Chapter 2

Marathon Training, Week 10

Long run: 13 miles

You

Harder. Faster.

Almost… there…

You tried to control your shaky breathing as you neared the end. You'd been at it for nearly two hours now and you were starting to really feel it. Your legs burned with effort. You were so close...

In-2-3-4, out-2-3-4.

Just one mile to go.

Signing up for a marathon (and signing your entire summer away for training) always seemed like a good idea in the beginning. During the first long runs of the beastly 18 week training plan, you were still fresh with motivation, with excitement, keeping your mile splits fast and your strides light and long. Now, at week ten, almost exactly halfway through the training program, the runs became harder, and longer, while your energy and motivation took a dive. The repetitive nature of the sport easily lent itself to tedium, causing many runners to ‘hit a wall’ as the weekly mileage increased to peak at twenty miles--only 4 weeks away for you. You willed yourself to keep putting one foot in front of the other. One more mile. Should be easy after seventeen of them, right? No problem. In about nine minutes, you can be drinking water and sitting down. Nine minutes. You can stick it out for that long.

You always joked to people who were shocked at your hobby of choice that your running skills were fueled by stubbornness and spite. You never felt like much of a natural athlete, so you considered your abilities to be hard won through years of resilience rather than through any innate talent.

Maybe you were politely asked at fourteen not to try out for the volleyball team for the second time, but you'd be damned if you couldn't wake up in your thirties and run more than a half marathon on a Saturday just for the hell of it.

You started today's run just before the sun's first light was starting to make its way across the sky and the last few drops of rain fell from the clouds above. An early spring thunderstorm had passed through just prior to starting your run, and as the sun began to rise, it bathed the departing clouds in pink and orange hues, giving the well-worn running trail an otherworldly glow as your GPS kept a running tally of the rising mile count in your ear. The threat of more rain must have discouraged other early morning runners, because for once, the popular trail was yours, and yours alone.

With the tempo-driven music thumping in your ears to the beat of your steps, you missed the pleasant sounds of a forest coming to life after a storm. The birds had begun their song, and far in the distance, a rooster crowed to signal the sunrise. With every gentle caress of wind, droplets fell onto the trail with a plop-plop-plop. The little frogs around a nearby pond beside the rather ornate cabin you sometimes admired (when it was visible, which was only when the leaves were absent in winter) were chirping again, but you didn’t hear it over the fast-paced music you’d curated with the sole purpose of driving your steps forward.

Now, the sun had officially risen, decorating the well-shaded trail in speckles of sunlight. Small rays filtered through the still-new leaves of May and flickered in your eyes occasionally, blinding you in small doses as you ran.

It was during one of these moments of split-second blindness that you made out the vague shape of another person ahead on the trail.

Marcus

Without giving much thought to the consequences, Marcus jumped out of the porch chair upon hearing the scream. His empty coffee cup toppled off his leg and rolled in a wide semicircle along the ground as he jogged down the stairs, coming to a stop only when the handle met the wood. He hurried as fast as he could in the flimsy slippers he was wearing towards the dirt path leading into the woods. Leading to the advertised bike trail? Marcus wasn’t sure, but it made sense. Was it someone on the trail who had screamed? He raced along the path, trying and failing to avoid the wettest areas, and caking his slippers in mud in the process. After a few too-tense moments of running on the slippery ground, Marcus finally burst through the trees onto a flat, paved trail and discovered the source of the scream.

You

As your vision focused on the person in front of you, the first thing you noticed was that they were not moving, and you registered that as being odd. They weren’t walking, running, or biking, as one would expect, but standing stock-still, on the same side of the trail as your approaching form. That was the first red flag. The next thing you noticed is that it was a man, staring directly at you. The unbroken stare from this unmoving obstacle caused a heavy stone of dread to sink down into your stomach and stay there. Remain calm. Remain calm. You purposefully pursed your mouth into your best ‘don’t fuck with me’ expression and avoided eye contact. He was still there, still there, still not moving, still staring as you purposefully passed onto the other side of the trail to give this creepy man a wide berth. Don’t acknowledge, don’t react. He was still not moving, still star--

His hand suddenly shot out and grabbed your arm as you passed. “Why are you in such a hurry, sweetheart?” he drawled, and you made the mistake of looking into his eyes, despite all your efforts to avoid it. His eyes were strangely vacant, his pupils dilated. There was still no one on the trail that you could see, but you hoped that another soul was just around a curve, or that someone in one of the wooded lots was awake and could hear what you were about to do. You took a big breath, and let out the loudest scream you could muster, hoping that someone would hear it.

“QUIET,” the man growled, tightening his grip.

“Get OFF me!” you shouted through clenched teeth. You had no idea how to throw a punch. Why would you? You’d never been in a fight in your life. Your knowledge of how to hit someone came only from watching movies, but if there was ever a time to reach inside yourself and pull out Captain-fucking-America, this was it. You awkwardly reached back with your free arm, and swung your fist with all your strength at the man’s face, sending him staggering back holding his now-bloody nose.

Your hand exploded with pain. They never mention that in the movies. They just punch and punch and punch until the fight is over and someone is down. But in real life, it fucking hurt. In real life, you didn’t have any super-soldier serum (or any knowledge of fighting), you were just a runner who put all of her strength behind an admittedly unpracticed swing, and it showed. Ouch, ouch, fucking-OUCH.

But, awkward and unsteady as it was, it worked. You wrenched your arm out of the man’s grip and took a few desperate steps forward, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins after nearly three hours of running made you shaky and unbalanced. You stumbled, of-FUCKING-course, and tripped over the toe of one of your shoes. Your elbows took the brunt of the fall and you felt the skin scrape over the rough asphalt of the trail as you lurched to your feet again, this time successfully putting one foot in front of the other without falling. You launched yourself away from the man and started to sprint at full speed down the trail. You barely made it a few wild steps before another man, this one wearing only pajamas and mud-caked slippers, rushed onto the trail from a small footpath.

Marcus

Marcus held out his arms in a way that he hoped was reassuring, signalling you to stop. His gaze was leveled on the man (still bleeding from his nose) who had attacked you. He barely had time to take in the scene before the man, rendered powerless now that he had an audience, frantically took off in the other direction.

“HEY!” Marcus shouted, starting to pursue the assailant as he fled. The other man hopped a small wooden fence and began crashing through the thick undergrowth. Marcus ran up to the fence and hesitated, turning to look at you, your chest still heaving with exertion, clenched teeth and fists, and equal amounts of fear and fury in your eyes. He looked down at his muddy footwear and decided to make sure you were all right, rather than give chase. It wasn’t that he doubted his ability to catch up to the man while running through brambles to God-knows where in only his pajamas. Nope, definitely not. He balled his fist and let out a frustrated “Shit!” before turning and hurrying back to you, standing alone on the trail.

He held out his arms toward you again--but purposefully not crowding you--in a universal sign of openness, and asked in a soft voice, “Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did he-”

“I’m okay. I’m- I’m okay. He grabbed my arm and I… I punched him.” Still not quite catching your breath, you glanced down at your hand, which was beginning to swell angrily, and hissed through your teeth. The sudden attention to your injuries, combined with the retreating adrenaline in your system, made your hand throb in earnest. Funny how wounds never seem to hurt until you notice them.

“Perfect. That’s perfect.” Marcus nodded reassuringly. “I heard your scream. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. You did great.”

You managed a shaky smile at his words, and looked down at your hand again. “No one ever tells you how much punching hurts,” you said with a small huff of laughter. He smiled in kind, and the still-bruised knuckles on his right hand from his stupidity earlier that week gave a little throb of sympathy.

Suddenly feeling weaker than you cared to admit from the waning adrenaline, not to mention the grueling run, the events of the attack caught up with you and you put your head in your shaking hands. “Oh, my God. Ohhhh fuck. Jesus, I can’t believe-- that fucking--”

“Hey, hey-- I know. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” Marcus moved in slightly closer, still being mindful of his body language and his distance from you. At the words, I’ve got you, you looked squarely into his eyes for the first time, and Marcus felt a slight frisson of electricity as your wide eyes searched his. “I’ve got you,” he repeated, a little gentler still. You gave him a tiny nod and the corner of your mouth twitched upward a fraction. “Listen,” he continued, “I’m going to call the police. I’ll give them the address of the cabin I’m staying at so they can find us on the trail. It’s just back there--” he gestured vaguely in the direction he came from, “and I can tell them to head back towards us.”

You nodded again. “Okay. Thank you, really. I don’t know what I--” you huffed out a breath instead of finishing your thought. Marcus took in your sweaty, disheveled form. You were red in the face, still breathing heavily, with bits of hair sticking up in a way that would have looked comical in other circumstances, and your hand looked to be in bad shape. Yet, you had an obvious strength in the way that you held yourself, giving the unmistakable impression of power and poise. An athlete. As he watched, a bead of sweat from your forehead gained enough momentum to make its way down the bridge of your nose, and Marcus suddenly had the intrusive urge to touch it with his finger, transferring the small drop to his own hand. He mentally chased away the thought as you brought your own hand up to scrub at your face, dispelling the bead on your nose (and a good portion of those still on your forehead) in the process.

He shook himself. Not the time or the place. “We should get some ice on that hand, and I can get you some water, too. I- I want you to feel safe--I can bring you ice and water, maybe some bandages from the house. You can stay here, or you can come with, if you’re comfortable? Get cooled down, have a seat on the porch... Either way, I’m going to stay with you until the police come, okay? I want you to feel safe,” Marcus said again, gently. “Okay?”

You seemed to mentally shake yourself, dispelling some of the fear, discomfort, and leftover adrenaline still coursing through your veins. Your shoulders straightened imperceptibly, and your chin canted upward slightly, giving off a renewed aura of tenacity and toughness that Marcus found troublingly endearing.

“I, uh-- Heh. You uh, you had me at ‘water,’” you said with a small huff of laughter and a lopsided, wry smile. “Lead the way?”

Marcus couldn’t stop the smile that graced his face at your words and at the way you were clearly trying to dispel the events of the morning with humor. He stuck out his hand. “Marcus, by the way.” You swallowed and reached for his hand with your uninjured one, and shook it. Marcus tried and failed not to notice the softness of your palm on his, the firmness of your grip, and the fact that your hand, like the rest of you, was absolutely covered in sweat. Hands still connected, you gave him your name in turn. Marcus repeated it softly, then added, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Thank you… Marcus.” You said his name while looking directly into his eyes again. Was it just him, or did the direct eye contact last just a fraction of a beat too long this time? When you finally dropped your eyes, was there a little bit of shyness lurking there beneath your lashes? Was he imagining things?

He was in trouble.

-

Tagging:

@deepstarsco , @thirddeadlysin , and @honestly-shite

#marcus pike #marcus pike fanfic #the mentalist #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic

[myfearless-love]

The Wildest Place You Run (5/?) - Not Far Now

I'm sorry for the delay: traveling and vacation made it impossible to post, but in turn, you'll get two chapters this week (including this). This one is a bit shorter, but you'll see why in the next chapter (spoiler alert: too many action).

As always, a huge thank you to my beta and artist @thejollyroger-writer for correcting my mistakes and making kick-ass art for chapters 5 and 6! Check it out above!

Summary:

Vampires, Werewolves, Mages, and Elves. For centuries, they kept their existence a secret, but the constant rebellions against the strict laws of the Guild had led to a terrible tragedy. In an open clash, it became apparent to humans just what kind of monsters lived among them. Emma Swan loses the love of her life in the first battle of the war. A few months later, while still trying to process what happened, a mysterious and terrifying figure worms his way into her life. But the man is hiding far more terrible secrets than he reveals to her, pulling them both into a horrible situation...

Chapter: 5/? - Not Far Now

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Rating: M

Relationships: Killian Jones/Emma Swan

Read on: FF.net or AO3

Words: ~2k

Previous parts:

Ch 1 II Ch 2 II Ch 3 II Ch 4

.

The next morning she woke up on the couch, curled up, leaning her head on the armrest. Someone, probably August, had covered her with a blanket and left her there. She was used to it, he often disappeared without a word, and he was the only one she couldn't hold it against.

She sat up slowly, and it took her half a minute to discover she was alone.

Again.

She scrambled out from under the quilt and slipped out into the kitchen. Her neck was throbbing, she was cold, and she still felt exhausted despite the few hours of sleep she'd gotten. Her day had started out shitty.

Again.

(There were many recurring things in her life that she would've preferred to avoid.)

As she glanced at the clock to see it was ten in the morning, her eyes caught a yellow note on the fridge, adorned with David's almost illegible scrawl.

I'll be home late. Take care of yourself!

Sighing, she crumpled the paper in her palm and tossed it straight into the bin beside the kitchen counter. She opened the refrigerator and was disappointed to find it contained only a few cans of beer and a slice of moldy cheese.

Furious, she slammed the door and marched up the stairs to change and grab some money. She had to go shopping.

She was already shuddering in apprehension.

Going back outside and among strangers… Great.

She tugged on her black jeans and pulled on a thick, hooded black sweater. Before Neal, she'd never worn flashy or bright colors and after his death, she'd relegated almost all of her more colorful clothes to the back of her closet.

She didn't have much money, being unemployed at the moment. David was supporting her now, which she simply hated. She had been looking for vacancies for a long time, but with her limited experience and lack of a college degree, not to mention the impending apocalypse looming over their heads, her chances of finding something were pretty low. And David was against it anyway; she had no idea why, though, and he never told her the reason. So she had to make do with her limited savings, which was becoming increasingly annoying as David had completely forgotten about the household in the last two months.

She put a small amount of money in her back pocket and her keys in the pockets of her sweater, along with her phone. She put her hair in a ponytail, her curls bouncing with each step she took. She fixed her eyelashes with a swipe of mascara.

She tucked her gun into the waistband of her jeans; after all, one could never know what might happen. She concealed it with her sweater, making it invisible to anyone.

Fog was spreading through the gray streets, the sky covered in black clouds, an ideal time for a short walk through the city center. There were hardly any people on the streets. On weekday mornings, everyone was either at school or at work, with only a few retirees strolling the cobblestone sidewalk.

Emma stuck her hands in the front pockets of her jeans and sketched out her tasks for the day in her head, but the list was pretty short. Shopping was her only agenda today, so she began to think feverishly about what to do with the long hours ahead of her.

She arrived at the tiny little corner store without any plans. She could get everything she needed here. She hated supermarkets.

When she was done shopping, she didn't head home, but to the nearby library. Inspiration came to her somewhere between choosing which can of food to buy. She needed some good books and a quiet place among normal people. Among relatively normal people.

It wasn't five minutes before she was wandering among the bookshelves in the pleasantly heated room, browsing the selection.

No one disturbed her, and at that moment, it felt very good. She continued to hunt for books peacefully, and after a while, she returned to the cashier with a small stack. The young woman behind the counter treated her kindly like she did anyone else, and that was a really strange feeling. Strange, but heartwarming. Maybe she should go out more often and fill out some more job applications. Then she could even live a relatively normal life.

She was already halfway home when her phone started ringing. She rolled her eyes in annoyance and dropped her packed bags on one of the nearby benches. She dug out her phone and looked at the caller ID.

David.

"I'm almost home, I just went shop-"

"Where are you exactly?" he gasped into the phone.

"Near the park on the avenue. Why?" she asked suspiciously. "What is it again?"

Before answering, he repeated her location to someone, then she heard the sound of a door slamming shut. "Elves," came the curt reply. "Dark Elves."

"David, stop talking in riddles!" The icy fingers of fear zigzagged through her spine. She had already had the opportunity to meet with one Dark Elf and she had no desire to repeat the encounter.

"Over the past few months, the Vampires and Werewolves have been plotting against us. They have realized that they cannot defeat us with brute force alone. They've been lurking in the shadows for the last few months, looking for a few allies, and they've found the Dark Elves. Some are already in the city and…" he took a deep breath. "The point is, don't move from where you are now, Emma. Killian will pick you up shortly."

Before she could ask anything, David ended the call. She stared furiously at her phone for a while, then pocketed the device just as it started beeping incessantly. She groaned and fished it out of her pocket again. It seemed she would have to replace it soon, the battery was almost dead, despite it being half full mere moments ago.

But that wasn't the only problem with the device. The signal dropped dangerously, then the thing just shut off altogether. Sultry magic swept through the city. Emma looked up in confusion. Around her, several elderly people pointed to the sky and shook their heads in incomprehension.

Emma looked up as well.

There were almost entirely black clouds floating in the sky, shrouding the entire city in shadows.

So the Elves were really here.

She picked up her bags, slipped her right hand under her sweater, and reached for the handle of her gun. She wouldn't be able to do much against Elves with it, but at least it made her feel a little better. Nervously, she scanned the deserted street. She had never longed this hard for Killian's arrival. Correction, she had never longed for him, period… Until now.

When she thought about it more carefully, she'd never talked to him for more than five minutes. Truth to be told, she hadn't even had the chance. Killian just came and went. He showed up in the most unexpected places, at the most stressful times, and disappeared just as quickly.

Barely a minute later, a black Porsche Panamera stopped in front of her, leaving dark skid marks on the asphalt. She jerked back, startled, and managed to land on her ass in a not very graceful way.

The car door swung open and Killian stared at her, impatiently at first, then noticed her sprawled figure on the ground. A strange smile slid across his face, but she couldn't place why it felt so different. "It's more comfortable in here, lass," he said, patting the seat beside him.

Emma staggered to her feet with an annoyed huff. She considered staining the seat cover with her muddy jeans in retaliation, but she didn't want to be childish. She was about to dust off her clothes as best she could with a tissue when something grabbed her waist and yanked her into the car. The door slammed shut on its own, and Killian stepped on the gas.

"Was that you?" she growled when she finally managed to get herself into a more decent position. At that moment, the seatbelt flew through the air in front of her and snapped into place on the edge of her seat.

"And that too," Killian nodded grimly, focusing on the road.

"Don't you dare do that again! Or at least, warn me next time!"

She really wasn't used to someone practicing magic on her. It wasn't exactly painful or uncomfortable; in fact, the touch of Killian's magic was lukewarm and pleasantly eerie, but it still scared the shit out of her.

"Apologies…"

Finally, she raised her eyes to him, and only now realizing why his previous smile seemed so strange. His face looked completely different. There was not a drop of eyeliner on him, and his stubble was completely gone. He looked so young that way, but she had to admit, she liked his bad boy look better.

Either way, he was a pretty good-looking guy.

And she really needed to stop thinking now.

"What the hell happened?"

"To my face?" he smiled compulsively. "I had to shave because they couldn't stitch up the wound," he replied lightly, as if it was just a usual Thursday for him.

"Wound? Stitch up? But shouldn't you be supposed to heal…?"

Before she could finish her question, Killian turned his face fully toward her. There was a fresh, red scar starting at his temple and extending to the line of his lips.

"Jesus…" she gasped.

The sight of his handsome face disfigured by the scar shocked her greatly.

"Wounds inflicted by Elves don't heal on their own or fast like any other," he shrugged and looked at the road again, but she could see the bitterness in his eyes that she just couldn't place.

She sank as low as she could into the seat, peering at him timidly, then glanced out the window. The city was dark as if it was already night, and she knew for a fact that this was the work of Elves. This way, the vampires could walk around the city without fearing the sunlight.

It was comfortably warm in the car, yet she huddled as a shiver ran through her. She watched the city pass by silently and then she realized…

"Killian, we left the—" she began in alarm, but he seemed perfectly calm.

"We're not going to your house," he replied nonchalantly, not taking his eyes off the road, for which she was very grateful because they were going much faster than allowed.

"Then where?" her eyes widened in shock.

"To the Guild. It's safer there."

"And David? What about him? Where is he now?"

"Calm down, Swan, he'll be there too," he assured her, then gave her an uneasy sideways glance. "It's going to be alright."

Calm down.

It was easy to say but much harder to do. Especially for her, who could get upset over any little thing, no matter how ridiculous.

Despite the low roar of the engine, she could hear the wind outside blowing louder and louder, tearing cruelly at the scrawny branches of the weak trees on the side of the road. Lightning zigzagged through the sky, and the car shook in another gust of wind.

She shuddered in her seat and made herself as small as she could. Only now did she realize what the presence of the Elves meant, and she was scared to death, if she was honest. There had been no example of them interfering in battles on this earth for hundreds of years.

"It's not far now, love, we'll be there soon," Killian encouraged, and she looked up at him again, expressionless, feeling unspeakably miserable.

His face was practically split in two, and he was the one comforting her? She scoffed at herself.

"Okay." She couldn't say anything else, just slumped in her seat and crossed her arms in front of her chest. A shiver ran down her spine, causing goosebumps on her skin, and she felt like her head was being held in a vice. She knew what that meant. She had just enough time to cling to the edge of the seat, and the vision came unstoppable…

#cs ff #captain swan #cssns21 #cssns 2021 #cs fic #emma swan #killian jones #captain hook #ouat #once upon a time #ouat ff #killian x emma #captain swan supernatural #my fic #thejollyroger writer #TWPYR #captain swan ff #captain swan fic #cs fanfic

[whitestaghere]

I'm here - Edmund Pevensie x reader (Chapter 5)

Here's chapter 5 everyone! I hope you guys enjoy. Sorry I took a while with this one. Had a busy schedule. Enjoy ❤️

Edmund's Pov

I don't get it..

"Ed?"

How does she have such an effect on me?

"Ed?"

The way she blushed looking at me.

"ED??! "

Gosh relax Ed. You're loosing it.

"HELLO?! EARTH TO EDMUND?!" Peter yelled flicking me on the forehead.

I snapped out of my thoughts whincing at the pain.

"Ouch! What was that for?!

Peter squinted his eyes at me.

"Sorry. I wasn't listening.." I furrowed my eyebrows, still rubbing my forehead.

"Yeah, I noticed.." he gave me a look. "Well as I was saying, while YOU were busy daydreaming.."

I rolled my eyes at him, "yeah?"

"You know y/n's last name right?"

"Yeah, y/l/n.."

"Okay then," he stood up. "That's all we need. We could ask around if anyone is familiar with y/l/n and find her whereabouts."

I nodded my head.

It was that easy. I looked at y/n sitting in the living room laughing along with Susan and Lucy.

She'd be so happy.

Smiling to myself I spoke up, "well then.. what are we waiting for?"

With that, we got ready to leave.

Y/n's Pov

"We'll be off now.." Peter walked in along with Edmund.

Lucy shot up blocking Peter's path, "where are you both going?"

Peter ruffled her hair, "to go find y/n's home." He looked at me, "don't worry. We'll find it. It's actually easier than it seems."

I smiled nodding my head, "I'll come with you.."

Peter looked over at Edmund as if asking for permission. To which Ed replied with a slight nod.

"We'll join too, I'll go get my coat," Susan got up walking to her room.

Soon enough, we all set out.

Walking around, we would stop once in a while to ask anyone if they'd heard of me or my family before.

Eachtime.

Every response would be a no.

Shrugs, apologies, sorrowful looks.

You can imagine.. this going on for a couple of hours.

Timeskip >>>

My bad luck, was it?

We came back. With absolutely no luck.

Everyone looked so exhausted.

I couldn't help but feel bad. For taking them around, only to come back with no hopes of finding my home.

Looking down at my feet I mumbled a sorry, though loud enough for them to hear.

Susan layed a hand on my shoulder, "it's okay.. maybe today wasn't our day. But we'll find it for sure.."

Peter only smiled walking towards his room, "go wash up.. let's get dinner and take some rest."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Well.. all except for me.

I just turned around the second they made their way to their rooms. Hearing them say that it's okay, just made me feel more guilty.

Lost in thought I didn't even hear someone call my name. Feeling a light tap on my shoulder I turned around.

Edmund.

"Hey, is everything alright?"

I nodded my head slowly.

He came a bit closer.

"Doesn't seem like it is.. are you sure?"

I looked away. Feeling a slight pain at the back of my head.

He came closer observing my face.

For a second, locking eyes together I could see the concern in them. I backed away a little only to have my back hit the wall.

Edmund held my hands chuckling, "careful there love.."

Again. Oh that nickname.

Looking down at our intertwined hands he began to trace small circles with his thumb. He brought his eyes back to me and smiled.

Slowly, he leaned in.

Oh. My. God. Is. H-

My face began to heat up.

I tried turning away to hide my blush.

Suddenly the pain in the back of my head increased. I couldn't help but whince.

Holding my head in my hands I felt my vision get blurry.

Edmund backed away at once and grabbed my shoulders.

"Y/n? Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, just a h-headache.."

Looking back at him everything was in blur.

"Ed I-"

My vision turned black.

Edmund's Pov

She held her head, clearly looking in pain.

I began to panic.

"Y/n? Are you okay?

"Y-yeah, just a h-headache.."

She looked back at me, "Ed I-"

And suddenly she collapsed.

Falling straight into my arms I tried to steady her.

"Y/N?! Y/N? What's wrong?!!"

No response.

"PETER, SUSAN, LU!! HELP! FAST!!"

Lucy came in first, "what's wr-" she widened her eyes in shock, "Y/N!!!"

I lifted y/n, Lucy me helping me lay her on the couch.

"SUSAN, PETER!"

The two came in just after, "what happened??!," Susan rushed toward the couch kneeling down in front of it.

"Is she sick?" she put her hand on her forehead trying to check her temperature.

Peter went back into the kitchen coming back with a glass of water.

I gently patted her cheek, "y/n? Y/n? Please wake up... come on.. please."

Peter sprinkled some water on her face gently. Lucy held my arm, "is she going to be okay?

I couldn't form any words. All I wanted was for y/n to wake up.

"She'll be okay Lu, she's just unconscious.." Susan put a hand on my shoulder.

Looking at her she gave me a warming smile. She probably sensed the worry in me.

"What happened?" Peter looked at me.

"I don't really know Pete. One second she was fine, but then the next she collapsed. Although she did say she had a headache.."

She moved a little bit whining.

"Take her to Lucy's room.. let her get some rest."

I nodded in agreement slowly picking her up.

Timeskip >>>

Y/n's Pov

Flashback

I found myself in my room. On my bed. I was in the clothes that I had worn the day I ended up at Edmund's house.

Getting up, I observed my surroundings. Walking out of my room I called out for my mom.

"Mom... hey mom?" I saw a note on the kitchen table.

Sweetie if you're reading this, I'm off to your aunt's house. She's very ill. With uncle matt not home, she has no one to look after her. I'm sorry for leaving without telling you, but I didn't want to wake you up. I prepared you food for the week and left some money in the cookie jar. I'll be back by Tuesday morning. Lock the doors and stay safe. I love you - Mom.

I smiled.

Guess I'm alone for the weekend.

Suddenly I heard the sound of my doorbell. Walking upto it I slowly opened it. My mistake. I would never look through the window before opening the door.

My smile dropped the second I saw them.

Claire. Yep my school bully.

She had come along with two of her other friends. Before I could close the door in her face, she shoved her foot between the door.

"Oh not so fast darling.. I'm here to teach you a lesson."

Opening the door, she grabbed my hair and turned me to face her, "who do you think you are.. to talk back to me?" She tugged my hair harder this time.

I whinced in pain.

"Huh? What makes you think you can do that?" the other girls just snickered.

I felt the tears build up. But no, I wasn't going to show that side of me. No. Not today.

Clenching my fist I eyed her. And with a gush of confidence I landed a blow at her stomach.

This was my chance to escape, I made a run for it.

"LITTLE BRAT! GET HER!" I heard her scream.

They were hot at my feet. I ran as fast as possible. But however much I run I feel like their right behind me.

Suddenly one of them grabbed me by my hair again.

Pulling me back I screamed in pain.

"LET ME GO! PLEASE!" As if my day wasn't already stressful enough.

I managed to get my hair out of her grip and set a pace once again.

I ran as far as my feet could take me. Stopping halfway I looked behind me. Letting out a breathy laugh I held my knees panting.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

Oh great. When will this end?

I got ready to run forward only to see one of the girls approaching from the front too.

I couldn't escape.

Looking around in panic, I finally found a way of escape.

Climbing on top of a nearby trashcan, I threw myself over a wooden fence falling into someone's backyard.

I fell knocking my head hard on the ground. I groaned in pain. I tried getting up. But unfortunately couldn't.

My entire body was aching.

Soon enough my vision turned black.

End of flashback.

With a jolt I shot up.

"Ughhh... ah my head," holding my head, I slowly opened my eyes.

"Y/N?! YOU'RE AWAKE!"

"EDMUND!"

Edmund runs upto me, hovering over me and pulling me into his arms.

I threw my arms over his shoulders giggling. He put his weight on me laughing, causing us both to fall backwards onto the bed.

Suddenly all the pain disappeared.

We both looked at eachother laughing.

"You're okay... Y/n, ah I'm so glad you're okay.. I-I-I missed you."

Okay well that was.. a cheesy ending to this chapter xd 😂 And yeah, a pretty long chapter. Well I hope you all enjoyed it <3

To be continued...

#edmund pevensie #edmund x reader #edmund pevensie imagine #king edmund #edmund pevensie x reader #chronicles of narnia #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #lucy pevensie #narnia

[loftec]

Hi i don't know if anyone haven't ask you about it or i'm the only one who wants to read it but CAN YOU PLEASE SHARE YOUR NOTES (ch.44) i don't know if you were serious about that but i really would love to read them cause i'm obsessed with everything what is ntw related 🖤 hope ur well

Hi friend! It’s possibly just you (or one other person, in case of separate anons) but that is enough! I was absolutely serious. 

Note on the notes! This is not all of it, because my notes for this chapter were often repetitive and very messy, and some older notes were from four years ago when I didn’t bother writing things out properly, so they barely make sense even to me. But! I’ve done my best to sort everything in some kind of linear order, and removed most of the repetition. And, well, you asked for it... sorry! 🖤

Ian shows up in the morning, Mickey digs out the magazine Iggy stole from Amelia’s dentist’s office the other day and confronts Ian about the big-ass article in Rolling Stone about IAN’S BAND, says he’s listened to some of their songs, takes out a paper where he’s written down some lyrics that sound strangely familiar.

You’re famous!

I’m in a band, people know about us right now, tomorrow they might not. I’m not famous.

You’re kinda famous.

Ian talks about Mickey recognizing him because of Frank. Hints that there might be several songs inspired by Mickey. It’s awkward as fuck, didn’t want you to know.

Were you ever gonna tell me?

Oh yeah, I had a plan. 3 dates, dinner and a movie, day out with Yev, dinner at my place turned vigorous love-making. Second prong; cohabitation, engagement, marriage, then on our wedding night I tell you about crushing on Justin Timberlake when I was 12,

then I tell you I’m semi-famous, if it still applies.

Mickey thinks his face might be on fire.

What the?

I’m fucking with you, Mick. Figured you already knew.

This again?

You angry?

No, I’m not fucking angry. Just-

Freaked out.

Kinda, yeah.

You shouldn’t be. Please.

It’s weird that I didn’t know, I feel like a schmuck. (And I’m pretty sure by your count we’ve already been on those first two dates.)

I’m sorry. I thought you knew and by some fucking miracle didn’t treat me different. I’d been gearing up to maybe have to have this conversation on our date, ‘cause it’s shit sometimes, you know? I don’t do interviews and I never talk about myself when I gotta do them, but there’s still a limelight and a lot of bullshit that complicates

I’ve been crushing on you since we met basically, and I thought I’d just… let it run its course, keep my mouth shut about it and deal until it went away and we could remain friends without me fucking it up.

Didn’t work, by the way.

Good.

Mickey is talking about it with Etch, who suggests that Ian’s been writing at the diner for a reason.

Etch looks up some lyrics and Mickey caps locks them to Ian

You might have inspired a few lately…

Fuck off. How many?

Since we met? Pretty much all of them.

Maybe one or two made it on to the album, but I wrote those before we really got to know each other so they’re just like… about moments, and how I would feel around you.

Didn’t think of it as creepy but it kinda sounds that way now.

No it’s fine

I won’t do it again.

Said it’s fine. Kinda like it.

Yeah?

You gonna tell me which ones are about me, or is that a secret too?

What are you doing tonight?

Thought you said you were going on tour?

We are, it starts tonight. It’s a small fan club gig here in Chicago.

You have a fan club?

Kinda. I’ll put you on the guest list if you want to come.

(Mickey calls Svetlana to make sure Yevgeny can stay with her over the weekend.)

It’s fine if you don’t want to, we’ll do something else when I get back.

Calm your tits Gallagher, course I wanna go. Needed to make sure I’ve got Yev covered.

Oh okay, good. You’re on the list. Doors at 7, gig starts at 8, no support.

You’ve got no chill.

(Ian doesn’t answer for a while)

I like it.

Good, that was torture. Never doing that again.

(Etch teases him about having his nose in his phone, and makes him aware of new guests arriving)

Gotta get back to work

Yeah, me too. See you tonight?

No chill at all.

Ian invites him to the concert and gives Mickey his phone number. Mickey makes sure Yevgeny stays with his mom on saturday, and after work he goes home and gets ready. Showers and cleans himself thoroughly, puts on cologne and a band t-shirt he hasn’t worn in ages, it’s gotten kinda tight on him since he got it. (He puts on a dress shirt first, tucks it into his pants and glares at his reflection).

He’s on the guest list when he gets there, the girl in the box office can’t find him at first but then Anne shows up and points him out, he’s on the VIP list and gets a pass that he’s told he needs to carry so it’s visible. He makes a point of shoving it in the admission guy’s face, but then shoves the ostentatious thing down the pocket of his jeans. Anne shows him in and tells him about the gig, about how the fan club got started. Anne says he can go backstage but he says he’ll pass, thank you. He gets a beer and finds a good spot, there’s a balcony halfway through the venue where he’s got a perfect view of the stage without having to stand in the front.

They text a little, Mickey says he’s there and Ian says he’ll make a sign when they play a song inspired by him.

run-through of the concert, Ian touches the side of his nose when the song is about Mickey. He’s sexy as fuck, and has some ridiculous stripper moves.

He takes off his hoodie at some point, and sweating through his tank he and Anne put on gloves and start hitting the barrels with crowbars.

Anne is the maestro, maybe Ian crowd surfs at some point? Warren Ellis that violin, man. He has little routines with Anne, and some with Jon too. One song, Anne gets one of his guitars and he does noisy stuff with his violin and plays on the oil barrels with Stran, completely in sync.  

They got some good stage banter going, and at some point Ian does a Tom Waits impression, and Anne groans and says he’ll sing the whole thing if they’re not careful. There’s a reason why he’s

For the encore, Ian touches the side of his nose and they start playing a song, Anne saying that this is a first. It looks like Ian is about to sing, but then it looks like he changes his mind and they start playing a song that Mickey sure as fuck hope isn’t about him. The insufferable man on a date right next to Mickey tells the woman he’s with that they were about to play the mysterious title track from their last album that never ended up on the record

“it’s derivative, but cute”

how can it be a title track if it’s not on the album

the guy talks about how he’s got a friend working as an engineer in the studio and he’s sent him an early demo version. It’s not their best song by far, but it’s cool that pretty much no one else has heard it.

Mickey asks the girl if she’s ok with this joker, and she says she’s fine. He offers to get her a cab or something, if she wants to get out of there.

She says she’s not interested

Lady, if I wanted to get with either of you, it wouldn’t be you. Just sayin, I ain’t picky, but that guy would’ve gotten the boot ten minutes into the date if he were here with me, no offense.

WHAT IF.

The concert is over, and crowd starts to let up. Then a fight breaks out at the front and Mickey makes his way towards it. It’s over before he gets there, and sees a guy in his 40s with a bleeding nose, and Lip shaking out his fist, a security guard between them.

Mickey talks to the guard and defuses the situation, putting the bleeding man in the position of a sad overzealous fan. It somehow warms Lip to him, absurdly, and he finds himself apologized to, Lip shaking his hand and wincing when Mickey grips his bruised knuckles a little too hard. Lip vaguely explains that that was an old ex of Ian’s, a real piece of work, and then offers Mickey to come backstage with them to see Ian. Mickey declines.

It’s Lip, Carl and Debbie (Liam is too young, and Fiona too pregnant).

“I was drunk, and wrong, and when I’m wrong I say I’m wrong. (IT’S FROM DIRTY DANCING YOU LITERALLY FORGET EVERY TIME AND HAVE TO GOOGLE IT WHENEVER READING THIS NOTE should I really be quoting Baby’s dad in this fic? Probably. If anyone can, it’s Lip.) And Ian tells me you’ve been there for him a lot lately

I wouldn’t say that

But he did, he doesn’t tell me a lot these days, but he told me that.

Mickey gets another beer at the bar as people mill towards the merch and exit, he sits on a stool with an eye on the backstage passage. He watches the band come out to talk to some of the lingering fans and sign shit. Ian comes out and is immediately surrounded by fans, he locks eyes with Mickey across the room and Mickey raises his beer in a silent cheers. Ian comes up to him after a few minutes, he looks damp and exhilarated and unexpectedly nervous,

How was it?

Not bad, Gallagher.

he asks Mickey over. He has to pack up his shit and do the rounds, but he’ll be done in half an hour, tops. Mickey says he’ll meet him outside.

Ian leaves and Mickey finishes his beer, watching Ian talk to some fans, signing shit and taking pictures. He goes for a piss and then goes out for a smoke.

Ian comes out after twenty minutes, carrying two guitar cases and a large wheelie-bag. Mickey takes one of the guitars off his hands and they walk together.

(maybe Ian has a banjo and he gives it to Mickey to carry and Mickey is all really? I wanna kick your ass so bad right now, country boy, but then carries it anyway.) (banjos are cool)

Walk from the club. Mickey mentions talking to Lip. They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it) (Note from 2020: I DID NOT REMEMBER IT.)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

Ian tells him a little about his different instruments, Mickey picks up the beat up guitar Gus first gave to Ian and strums it, Ian asks him to play him something but Mickey snorts and says he’s counting on getting laid tonight and him playing would be detrimental to that plan. Ian doesn’t think so, but accepts it when Mickey gives him the guitar.

”I’ve walked some thousand miles,” he starts softly, eyes on his left hand, moving over the strings, ”I have slept many hundred nights, and people’ve said hello and bye through the years since you were mine. But don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue. Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser I cry for you.”

”Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie,” ”My darling boy, sweet old times, as long as I keep you in mind I will remember what love is like. So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue.”

”Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser.”

”I cry for you.”

I’M THINKING OF WRITING MY OWN SONG BECAUSE I WAS THIS MOMENT TO BE MORE BEFORE SUNSET THAN ANYTHING, ALL SMILES AND DRAMA FREE. SO MAYBE A TEXT THAT IS A LITTLE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

Ian plays the song and when he’s done, Mickey kisses him and they have really enthusiastic sex on the couch. Mickey is about to leave after when Ian invites him to stay,

How about some long-ass foreplay on the couch and then they move into the bedroom.

They start on the couch, they take it to the bedroom, they collapse on the bed after and Mickey is feeling too good to argue when Ian mumbles at him to “stay”.

(Sings the song, says it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a song, it’s one quick thought put under a spotlight. Feeling like he should have known Mickey his whole life already. It’s too much, isn’t it? In the kitchen.

”do you normally take guys home and serenade them?”

”nah, don’t think it’d be very effective with most.”

”But you figured I’d swoon?”

”Figured you’d want the truth.”

”which is?”)

??? Need to find a good mix of excitement and new and easy, balanced with ho shit wtf are we doing this isn’t going to end well i think i fucking love him shut the fuck up. needs to be sexy and a little rough, as well as painfully sincere against better knowledge. kissing will do that. they’re doing stuff the way they usually do stuff, but for some reason it feels completely different.

Important that Mickey kisses him.

They stand up and stand chest to chest, Ian says they don’t have to do anything, Mickey says shut up and get naked

he helps ian take his shirt off and kisses him the second his face comes back into view

They fucks on the couch.

OR ALT FADE CUT END and don’t go explicit. Just saying, it’s an option. A valid option.

They can go at it in one of the sequels? Like the roadtrip can be more explicit? If I want? But also not?

I mean, there is such a thing as a nice middle ground right.

I just don’t think I’m interested in going all out porn after 40+ chapters of whatever.

THEY KISS AND THEN THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING FADE TO BLACK MY FRIEND, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I HAVE DECIDED. Soz

WHAT IF!!

Iggy comes in, is all: guess what I found at the dentist this morning?

M: again? Did Amelia break another tooth?

I: It’ll grow back, take a look at this

E: Did you steal that from the dentist’s office?

M: Rolling Stone, wtf?

E: your dentist’s got rolling stone?

Mickey reads the headlines out loud as a customer comes in and asks Etch about something they’ve lost the other day, and Etch starts rifling through boxes behind the counter as Mickey moves over to sit down in Ian’s booth, rifling through the magazine.

M: what am I looking for?

I: I marked the page

E: what’s this note?

Mickey starts reading the article, realizing that the blurred picture is of Ian, and the interview is with Ian, and holy shit. Ian is legit famous.

Etch starts reading the list of coffees, eventually turning the page over and pointing out that there’s a phone number.

Iggy comes to the diner in the morning, Etch is rifling through stuff behind the counter and Mickey is doing the rounds with the few guests still there after the morning rush.

Iggy shows him the magazine he found at the dentist’s and Etch is in the background like wtf is this, reading from Ian’s note with the coffee orders, Mickey only half listens, trying to take in the fact that Ian is fucking famous.

Etch says there’s a phone number too and Mickey brushes him off.

Then he’s like, hold the fuck up! And gets the note from the trash and tries the number, and Ian fucking answers. And they have the you’re famous conversation on the phone and voila, Mickey has his number and vice versa.

So Mickey calls Ian in the morning, then there’s text talk during the day.

From Ian

So, you’ve had my number for x days and you only now decided to use it?

That’s cold.

From Mickey

You wrote it on a piece of paper you then balled up and threw on the floor, asshole, it’s a miracle it didn’t end up in the trash. didn’t know I had it until this morning.

You suck at this. (This is a nice revelation that he likes, but Maybe that doesn’t come across in text.

Not a complaint btw, just gleeful observation.

From Ian

Are we still on?

From Mickey

Of course.

Dumbass.

Ian

I probably deserved that.

At some point Mickey starts capslocking and sending lyrics to Ian, who has to explain through text why he’s written songs about Mickey, saying that he’ll point them out tonight.

HERE’S A QUESTION

SHOULD I SKIP THE WHOLE “WRITING SONGS ABOUT MICKEY” BUSINESS??

Isn’t it enough that Ian is famous and kept this fact from Mickey? Isn’t the writing songs business a little creepy? and if he did write songs about Mickey, would he really publish them without Mickey’s consent? No. Maybe I’m deliriously tired and about to fall ill right now, but I actually think I should skip that part. It’s a little sad because it’s been part of this idea for three years, but if I’m uncertain about it now imagine how I’m going to feel about it later?

When I started writing this story, it was supposed to be a quick and silly thing, and now it’s something else. It’s not important or anything, but also it is. To me. And making a decision on the rating was a big deal for me, and I think this is another one of those things. I’ve been holding on to this idea for so long but when I really think about it, is it even romantic? It’s romantic in that kind of teenage dream way, maybe? It’s more romantic to me if they fall in love for reasons other than Ian writing songs. But he’s written NTW, and he still thinks about performing it live, but we skip the whole thing about songs being about Mickey.

So they talk on the phone in the morning, and then there’s a text coming in after a little while asking if Mickey wants to come to the show.

HEYHO IT’S A REVOLUTION AND I FEEL FREE

Mickey and Ian text after the show (after Mickey declines going backstage) Ian asks him to meet him round back in twenty minutes. When Mickey goes out there, he sees Ian talking to a couple of fans by the bus and Mickey hangs back to smoke while he waits. The fans leave and Ian looks around, checks his watch, he has a bunch of guitars with him.

I AM LEANING HEAVILY TOWARDS MICKEY KISSING IAN HERE. He’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters against the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

They’re in the elevator, then they’re in Ian’s apartment. Ian plays him the song, Before sunset ending.

almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

(almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

yeah, it’s not a very good song. is why we cut it from the record

oh yeah? thought it was ‘cause of the like, intensely personal subject

that too)

They smile at each other like fools and Mickey feels like he is exactly where he’s supposed to be, and there’s no rush. Fade to black.

Etch finds the paper, says there’s a phone number on it. Mickey dials the number and goes out back as it rings out. When Ian answers, he reads a question from the interview and they talk.

He goes back into the diner and basically blows the whole thing off, it doesn’t make any difference to him and he has to go back to work. Yevgeny does his homework and Iggy leaves, and Ian invites Mickey to the gig via text. Etch invites Yevgeny to stay over at theirs for a movie night.

Does Mickey tell Yev about the gig?

Start with Mickey out back, smoking. The phone rings and he waits for Etch to take it, but it keeps ringing. He bangs the door and yells PHONE and then it stops ringing. He kills the cigarette and goes back inside. Etch is behind the counter talking on the phone and going through the lost and found, looking for whatever the caller has lost. Mickey clears a table. It’s afternoon. Etch hangs up but keeps going through stuff in the box, talking to Mickey, when Iggy comes in.

It’s maybe more like afternoon (?) when Iggy comes in and shows Mickey the magazine. He calls Ian and they have a quick conversation (he probably goes outside to have it, to escape his audience) and they establish that Ian is sorta famous. Then they text back and forth a little, until Ian invites him to the show.

Mickey calls Svet to arrange it so Yev can stay with her, and then accepts. He goes home after work to eat, have a shower and change out of his clothes. He wears the only band tee he owns, mostly because it’s funny and because it’s kinda tight and he doesn’t think he looks too bad in it (and a dress shirt is way too much for a concert not-date, not that he tried on a couple first. Then he does a little bit of cyberstalking only to find very little personal information and a lot of crazy fans. Maybe he watches a couple of music videos, but they’re all really weird cartoons so they give him nothing. They’re cool though, and guess the music’s alright, even though he doesn’t have a connection yet to it so it’s hard to tell if he likes it.

Yevgeny calls, because Mickey switched the days and he wants to know why. Mickey asks if he knows about the Broken Bells, and Yev’s like duh who doesn’t? And freaks out when Mickey tells him about Ian. He doesn’t tell him about the whole date situation though, just that he’s going to the concert. Maybe Yev asks for some merch.

Mickey takes an Uber to the venue, even though it’s not too far from the diner (but on the other side, so at least a 30 minute walk) and it seems like they’ve already started letting people in. He hangs back until the admissions office is clear and then tells the lady that he’s on some kinda guest list. She can’t find him, and he’s about to give up and go home when he sees a familiar figure in the background. He calls her Stay-puft first, but then also remembers that her name is Anne and calls her that too. She remembers him, and finds him on a different (VIP) list, the venue staff woman is embarrassed, but Anne is borderline flirting she’s so nice about the mistake. Mickey gets a pass that he’s supposed to keep around his neck, but he shows it to the guards and then tucks it down his back pocket. Anne shows him inside the venue and asks if he wants to come backstage and say hello, but he kindly declines.

He has a quick peruse of the merch table (he checks the CDs, and then sees a smaller table next to the merch with a guy handing out pins, Mickey talks to him and finds out that it’s “fan club” pins to commemorate the gig and Mickey asks if his VIP pass gets him one, it does, and then the guy asks if Mickey wants to sign up for the newsletter) and then gets a beer, before finding a good spot on the mezzanine floor. He’s got a balcony railing for support and beer holder, and he’s got an excellent view of the stage. The floor is filling up with people packing themselves against the front. He texts Ian saying he’s here and they text a little back and forth. He gets someone to watch his spot and goes to the restroom. There, he finds a kid getting cornered by a middle-aged man. The kid looks vaguely familiar and not older than sixteen. Mickey steps in and casually accuses the guy of creeping on a kid and the guy immediately backs off, the kid says thanks and that he’s eighteen (because it’s an 18+ gig) and Mickey says sure.

Getting back to his spot, There is a douchebag on a date behind him that he wants to move away from, but he doesn’t want to surrender his good spot. He decides to tune him out, he’ll hopefully shut up once the set starts. It’s just a couple of minutes after eight when the lights dim and a song comes on louder than before, and the band start coming out on the stage. Ian is wearing jeans and a hoodie, like he normally does, but he’s clean shaven and his normally smiling face is set in blank determination. Anne is the front person, and she commands the audience with the slightest gesture. It’s obvious that the venue is filled with old fans, they all know exactly what to do exactly when she asks them to do it. Ian’s got like four guitars and a whole lot of other shit around him, and he’s super focused on doing his stuff, but now and then he does little routines with Anne and Jon, and gets a big cheer for his occasional solos.

A few songs in, Ian gets up to stand on one of the oil barrels, and Anne starts banging on it with a crowbar. That’s when Mickey starts to really get into it. It’s cool, and it’s a lot harder than Ian made it out to be, but kind of theatrical at the same time. Ian is brilliant, even though he dances like an uncoordinated stripper.

There is banter between the songs, mainly between Anne and Stran (girl sure bangs those drums!) Anne starts banging one of the oil barrels again and Ian and Jon do a little step dance next to each other across the scene.

At some point Ian takes off his hoodie. He’s wearing a white tank and he’s already sweating through it. He gives his guitar to Anne and puts on gloves. Him and Stran do a little bant-y thing and then they start a new song by both banging the barrels in unison while Anne and Jon start playing (maybe Jon plays something else, like an electric piano or a marimba?). At the crescendo of the song, Ian takes out a baseball bat and goes to town on the barrel, sweat shining on his muscly arms and his wet hair flopping down his forehead.

They go off the stage, but come back when the crowd chants a song, stomping their feet and clapping their hands. Anne says they’ve got one more song for them, and they start playing. She moves away from the microphone and it looks for a second like Ian is going to step up and sing. Douchebag behind Mickey tells his date about an unreleased b-side to the last album. But then Ian steps back and says something to Stran, who nods and moves into a slightly different beat. Without blinking Anne, steps back up to the mic and sings the last song.

Some of the crowd lingers by the stage after the lights have gone back on, but most move towards the bar or the merch table. Mickey hangs back to watch the crew take down the stage, and the two oil barrels being handed over to someone in the audience, along with set lists and left-over picks. Walking down from the mezzanine floor to go look for the restrooms, a fight breaks out on the floor. Mickey immediately recognizes one of them as Lip and the other one as the creep from the bathroom, and intervenes by clearly positioning himself on Lip’s side and reminding the creep that he could get him in trouble, the creep backs off and agrees when Mickey tells the security guards it was an accident (in a way that isn’t obviously helpful, but in the end still makes sure that Lip isn’t hurt or arrested for punching a guy) (because he did, he punched a guy, who is thrown out by the guards after Mickey’s intervention). Lip, Carl, Debbie, and Liam is there, but it’s only Lip who knows who Mickey is. He hangs back to talk to Mickey while his siblings go backstage (and PROBABLY DOESN’T tell him a little bit about the guy being Ian’s ex, making it clear that Lip really doesn’t like him). He also apologizes to Mickey for last time. He asks if Mickey wants to go backstage, but Mickey declines. He’s decided earlier with Ian through text that he’ll wait for him and thinks it’s better to do it somewhere that isn’t backstage where he might get asked questions and have to talk to people who aren’t Ian.

He gets another beer and stands in the bar next to the merch, watching as Ian and the rest of the band come out to sign some stuff and shake hands. Ian still looks slightly damp from sweat, even though he’s obviously changed clothes and run a towel through his hair. Mickey wonders if his skin tastes like salt. He drinks his beer.

Ian comes up to him after a little while, asking well? (or texts him, which probably makes more sense? But I also want Mickey to see Ian post-show)

Not bad Gallagher, not bad at all.

Ian looks pleased and asks if Mickey wants to come over, even though Ian has an early morning. Mickey says yes and Ian asks him to wait until they’re done packing up.

Mickey finishes his beer, goes to the restroom (where he sees douchebag by the urinal) and then he goes outside to wait for Ian. (He talks to douchebag’s date and offers to get her a taxi before the guy comes out.) He smokes a cigarette, and before he knows it, Ian is by his side, carrying a fuck ton of guitars. They decide to walk, for some reason, talking on the way.

HEY

Ian says he’s got a car coming and they walk a little bit to where they’re getting picked up. They talk about trumpet lips and stuff and Mickey kisses him. They get interrupted by the car arriving, and Ian picks up his guitars and says “you coming?”

Fuck yes

They sit in silence in the car, but it’s a good one. Ian says

Lip told me what you did back there.

He didn’t tell you shit.

He did, told me you stepped in and stopped him from getting arrested

He was getting his ass kicked, someone had to help the guy

And Liam told me you got him out of a tough situation in the restroom

That was Liam? Some pedo’s creeping on a kid by the urinal, I’m not gonna stand by doing nothing.

You know that’s not what happened

Yeah, well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

He isn’t a pedo, and Lip would’ve beat the shit outta him if you hadn’t stepped in.

You defending this guy?

No, trying to say thanks.

You’re shit at it.

Thank you, Mickey

Better.

So… friend of yours.

No. (Ian isn’t forthcoming with the info)

Alright, whatever.

And he’s definitely not someone I wanna talk about, tonight.

(Ian is smiling at him, all the promise in the world in his eyes)

Fucking fair enough.

They arrive.

OR Ian joins Mickey outside and they stand around and talk

They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

That’s when a taxi pulls up and Ian walks toward it

Could use some help with these.

They ride in silence

They carry Ian’s instruments from the car, and Ian says something cute

Mickey’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters on the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

There he asks Ian to play him something that other people don’t get to hear (mostly to be a cheeky monkey, but also because he wants it) and Ian plays him None the wiser.

I’ve walked a thousand miles to end up in your corner booth

Grinning idiot when you bitch, falling fool for your dirty mouth

Sitting on my busy hands when you swagger by and I say -

Hey waiter, pour some coffee in my cup and bring me my toast, before you fuck me up

I’ve been in some thousand fights and it’s clear that so have you, too

Faded threats and cigarettes, sharp glass polished by the sea

Wish you’d put your hands on me and make your feelings clear

Hey waiter

meet me ‘round the back door, tell me I’ve got it wrong and fuck me up some more

‘Cause I’ve fallen a thousand times but never felt this way before, like I should have met you long ago

Walked with you by my side and had your back through thick and thin

Sickness and health, come what may, and I say-

Hey waiter

pop the damn champagne

None the wiser

you fuck me up again

Hey waiter

tell me you’ll be mine

I’ll give you my life

and fuck you up in kind

I wish I was just a plain white shirt

then you could wear me off to work

and I’d be one of the things you keep close to your heart

soft white cotton wrapped around your heart

(Contrasts have faded now

but color still haunt my mind

And words ripped off from their lines

Make bitter tears flood my eyes

Don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you)

Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie

My darling boy, sweet old times

As long as I keep you in mind

I will remember what love is like

So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you

’Cause I always say ’I love you’

when I mean ’turn out the light’

And I say ’let’s run away’

when I just mean ’stay the night’

But the words you want to hear

you will never hear from me

I’ll never say ’happy anniversary’

Never stay to say ’happy anniversary’

Bom-chaka bom-chak 23 verses

And he climbed up a mountain

And he looked around

Some kind of forest

With all these dinosaurs

And he stripped his woman

He stripped her bare

But there was a pterodactyl

There!

#Anonymous

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (3/?)

A/n: this is a long chapter. Hope you guys like it. In this chapter I referenced @hoodoo12 fic Inked

Read Part 1, Part 2

________

Chapter 3: Do You?

"Are you having a good time?" he wondered as you were picking at your meal, and drawing faces in it.

"It's been pleasant enough." you admitted; shifting in your seat to sit up properly. "You've certainly made it easy on me."

You appreciated how the time passed so easily with the chemist's want and eagerness for conversation. He was well-spoken, and nothing lacked but whether it was you or your wandering mind, you had the feeling of wanting to go home; to relax on Rick's couch and watch a silly movie, but the night would go on. Intrigued by your earlier statement, V'gha studied you for a moment, not so unlike the way Zeta-7 would. Flexing his thick fingers, and smirking as though he had found the secrets of the universe and not intending on sharing it, he rested his chin on his now clasped hands."Would you care to elaborate?"

"Sure. I believe it's because, despite our differences, you're not so bad. I was worried that you were going to be overly serious, but it's been fun chatting with you."

"Well," he started, "I hope you won't be offended by me saying this, but I thought you were going to be more Neanderthal."

"You know," you giggled. "I get that a lot."

It never occurred to you to expect anything to really happen right now, but through half-lidded eyes, there were flecks of melancholy along with another emotion you couldn't quite detect. It passed quickly as light amusement colored his voice. "Is self-deprecating humor common among your kind? It doesn't matter. You nonetheless contain an intellect that I can only describe as affable. Are all humans this way?"

"I don't know, I can't speak for my kind, but I can speak for myself. I think in my case," You considered with seriousness, trying to refrain from sharing too many details. "it's what happens when you live as I do; close to a mad genius who enjoys his work as much as his garden. No really," you paused, playing around with your cloth napkin. "it's nothing special. I wish I could give you a highly detailed explanation, but I don't consider myself much of an intellectual. I do learn something new everyday. I think that counts for something."

Nodding in agreement, he made an attempt to consume his meal of fried klema paste, but could only manage a small bite as he too gave up on trying to believe it was halfway edible. "If I would've been in my lab, I could've shown you a recipe for a formula that attracts insectoids large enough to feed a family for a month. Even the bitter, old, beetletoids would taste better than what we've been served tonight."

You had a feeling that the meals were chosen by a machine that couldn't determine what would be better; pleasing the taste buds or feeding the vitamin deficiencies; it seemed to be the latter.

"I'm sad to tell you that I don't eat insects or insectoids. Though," you smiled. "I appreciate the sentiment. Where I'm from, you either love them or despise them. There isn't much of an in-between. For my part, I admire them. Like, there's these cute little guy's called roly-polys. They kind of look like little pills and they hang out in dead leaves and stuff. Oh, and don't even get me started on iridescent insects. They're just so beautiful, like living jewels. Too bad I don't have an eloquent explanation to give you."

"Do you mean to say that insectoids or insects as you refer to them, are minuscule creatures where you're from? How fascinating. And stranger still," he gestured at your outfit. "I was just thinking that you appear somewhat iridescent yourself."

He must've been referring to the sequins on your dress which were mildly reflective and multichromatic. "That was the point," you joked readily. "to look as though I could fly away at any moment. At least that's the story I'm sticking with, but don't tell anyone I left my private jet at home."

"Well, it does suit you. Has anyone told you that?"

If he meant either your dress, attitude, or both, then Rick had but you weren't going to tell him that. "No, but thank you."

"Really," he insisted. "I mean it. I…..I can't help but feel as though I know you." Leaning slightly forward, though not so much that it would violate the law, and squinting, he wondered. "Are you sure we haven't met before?"

The multiverse thing was another classified subject on the infinite list of what you weren't allowed to talk about. For all you knew, he might've met another version of yourself or met you in passing in your travels with Rick. "No, we haven't. Maybe I remind you of someone."

Realization struck him, and he dug around in his pockets and pulled out a blank white card. Laying it out on the table, he pressed the corner of it, and it produced a hologram; it was a Salamandrian with vibrant coloring and stripes that made you wonder if they glowed in the dark. "That's why I've been perplexed. You remind me of her; an old colleague of mine."

"She's beautiful."

"Yes, I thought so too. We used to work in the same lab together and were close to a breakthrough which could've assisted with premature aging which my species are prone to, but it wasn't meant to be. We ran out of funding and while working on another project, she collapsed. Before I knew it, she succumbed to rapid aging. Cha'thxa was amiable like yourself and loved to joke around. I believe that's why we were good friends."

"It's always the good ones. I'm sorry."

Replacing the card back into his pocket, he sobered. "It's alright. That was half a lifetime ago, but it's odd how events can trigger these recollections. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For these interactions of ours. It made me feel youthful."

What? Now that couldn't be right. If it hadn't been such an odd thing for him to say, you wouldn't have given a second thought to how he had spoken and carried himself. Really, you thought he was younger than yourself. "How old are you exactly? You don't look mature."

Taking a long sip of his beverage, he admitted with amusement. "Let's just say that the equivalent in human years is roughly 64.322 years old."

"What? No way. I wouldn't have ever guessed, but it shows what I know."

Though you weren't an expert on reptiles either, so how could you have known?

"Would it have really mattered? The only difference it would have made was perhaps in the way you would've treated me. I don't enjoy being treated as though I'm feeble-minded and will collapse at any moment."

"I promise, I wouldn't have."

"If only it were that simple. I've done the same, except I did the opposite and discriminated against someone far younger than I was and believed them foolish, but now that I've seen more of the world, and have familiarized myself with the universe through my travels and mostly through my studies, I realize how wrong I was. These days, I intend to live out the rest of my life to the fullest and to not be ashamed of it. And keeping in mind with that," he paused, ruminating on what he was about to ask. He continued. "I hope this isn't presumptuous of me to ask, but I'd love to invite you to my home planet." And with that winning, sharp-toothed smile, he explained. "Warm bodies are now allowed to visit and I would love to show you my dwelling. I believe you'd enjoy the view of the river. You seem to be the type that would never tire of good company."

It was a shame that he was such a fascinating creature, for you two might've been able to be good friends in a different life. "I do enjoy good company and most likely I would love the river, but under my current circumstances, I'm sorry to say it probably wouldn't be a good idea."

Calmly, he wondered. "Is it because of that human we saw a few hours ago is your mate?"

"Yes," you answered without hesitation. "I would consider him so."

"Forgive me then, for I didn't know, but I should have come to that conclusion." he remarked sheepishly. "You reek of him and your hormones changed every time I asked you about him."

"Look," you sighed, feeling a little embarrassed at the series of events which led up to this. "it's alright. I think it's the guidelines of this event that prevent us from being in each other's presence, but even if it's a crime, I wish he was here. I'm sorry if I acted out of place otherwise."

Giving you a wink, V'gha rose and gently took your hand; not only was it against the law, but against his character. You were going to pull away, but he said in Rick's voice. "Terminate simulation."

______

You removed the headset you had forgotten you were wearing. "Oh no, did I mess up again? Would I have died of food poisoning? Dysentery? I swear this is harder than the Oregon Trail."

"N-no, you did alright." he said at first, thoughtfully tapping at charts across his multiple screens set up. "Every time you were presented with a-a challenge, you followed the protocols and procedures just as you were instructed, but it's when you depart the ship which has my calculations going all over th-the place. Gosh, I now realize that it - it doesn't matter which of the guests are assigned as your companion. There is a 33.682% chance that they'd take a romantic interest in you, while there's only a 7% chance of you taking interest in them."

"Ricky, what in the world are you talking about?" You were sure that all of it was simply meant to be a learning experience and that none of it was real. However, considering it was meant to be a realistic simulation, the possibility of romance was there, despite how minimal the chances were. "I thought the reason we were going through the simulation was so that I wouldn't jeopardize the mission. Am I to understand that you don't want me to go because you discovered there's a small chance that a guest or two might fall for me?"

He scratched the back of his neck, wary to meet your questioning gaze. "Gee, I wouldn't have phrased it th-that way. I just....I-I don't like it."

"Oh my goodness," you couldn't help but exclaim. "Rick, are you jealous?"

It was always surprising when he was for it happened so rarely, and when it did you were more flattered then concerned. You continued. "I thought these scenarios always end the same way. You know I only want to be with you, even at the risk of my life. Why these aliens would take an interest in me, I'll never know, but it's cool that the people I'm assigned to are fascinating characters. Doesn't it prove that I'm ready for this mission? I kept the sharing of valuable information to a minimum, and I got along with mostly everyone."

"Gee, I don't know. Y-you're almost ready. However," he pointed at his computer screen. "there are anomalies in some of the earlier models which are concerning. In scenario 3, 7, and 15, the chances of my extermination were 18.475% because I-I allowed myself to get distracted from the mission. In scenarios 17, 19, and 25, there's such a minuscule change that we can forget them altogether. Yet, in the last five scenarios, especially this last simulation, it jumped to 42% and I ended it before things w-would've gone sour. Golly, studying the patterns between them all taught me that you're attractive t-t-to multiple species."

"What can I say, must be my animal magnetism." you teased as you wiggled your eyes brows.

Thoroughly worried, he sighed. "It appears so."

"Come on Ricky," you softened. "I'm only kidding. Listen, why don't you disguise yourself as V'gha, while one of your robot clones handles the mission? Out of all of them, V'gha was one of the nicest. We can knock him out temporarily."

"That could work, but that's highly risky."

"How so?"

"Because staying alive means I-I can't do this."

Wrapping an arm about your waist, the beginnings of a smile were taking place. "For this, I'd get my arms chopped off. It's due t-to the fact that centuries ago a war broke out from a single incident that occurred b-between two rivals who fought for the love of a Milleannos grounds protector whose sole purpose was to guard and tend to the bud that would never bloom in their lifetime. So, this kind of behavior between us is a big no-no. At least as non-royals of Petram Viridios IV." And pressing a kiss to your temple, he chuckled. "I don't know what'd happen to me if I did that, but I-I wouldn't want to find out."

"Do the inhabitants of that planet learn their traditions through tall tales?"

"I-I don't know, but it doesn't seem that far-fetched. It's um - it's possible that over time, they've needed t-to learn sets of skills in order to survive in the once harsh terrain, but seeing how they were able to preserve their culture for hundreds of thousands of years, they must be doing something right. Still, knowing all this, I-I doubt I could keep my cool and stay away from you. Apparently, the simulations tell me the same thing."

"In that case," you softened. "I might have to remove myself from this mission. After all, I don't want you to think I'm trying to woo a few strangers."

"Boy, I-I didn't mean it t-t-to sound that way."

"Of course not, but you told me the truth. And you're entitled to it in some respects. Though, while you spoke of data and calculations, you didn't ask me how I felt. Why not dear? I'm not ashamed to tell you."

Yet, he seemed ashamed to ask. "Did - did you feel anything?"

Smoothing out the lines about his mouth and eyes with your fingers, you confessed. "I felt flattered by their attention, and their company wasn't that bad. I felt……well, like a person in society, who meets and meets dozens of people, and only really takes interest when the conversation is somewhat comfortable and familiar, but I wanted you there to enjoy it too. " Pointing towards the monitors, you continued." If you take a closer look at the data on my brain waves, changes of hormones, and heart rate, then you'll see where my mind and heart truly was. In nearly all of them, I saw parts of you. Not so much physically, but there were personality traits that were so much like your own, I almost didn't feel so lonely. Yet, I never stopped searching for you in them, and in the world around me, in silence, in smiles over knowings, and in reminiscences, hoping you would come and could be in my reach."

Resting his hand atop yours, he sighed. "Th-that explains a few things."

"Does it? I know you were watching as it played out. And don't think I didn't know what you did this time around. I know it was you on that stage, veiled, and far away. Was that also part of the simulation? It…it felt so real. Somehow our souls were closer then they'd ever been."

"I added the possibility of being asked t-to play the Tremen orb bush. When played, it does induce a trance-like state, but during that part of the simulation, I-I tried to keep you calm because y-you were in the beginning stages of a panic attack."

It must've been because of the claustrophobic feeling of being in a chamber. So you hadn't been alone. "Dear, did you hold me and keep me safe?"

"In a manner of speaking. Y-you weren't in any immediate danger, but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. So I - I moved my chair over, held your soft hands," he confessed shyly. "and talked to you for a little while. It must've helped for soon enough your vital signs were back to normal."

Yes, he was that sort of man; the kind who'd want to take care of you, and make sure you're alright; who'd give up a day in his garden to spend a dozen ensuring that within dreams you'd live to see another. What did you ever do to deserve him?

"I see. You know Rick, despite not bringing it up, I'm sorry that I had to pretend not to know you."

"That's okay."

He understood, way too easily did he understand. Digital planes with hundreds of foreign figures, blades of grass duplicated to fill in spaces, dreamland feelings which were wisps of real ones, he withstood them all. Slipping in and out of realities were preparations for the real tests which had and would continue to come your way. You admired his fortitude because till now he's dealt with the hardships incurred purposely and accidentally.

"Even if it was potentially part of the mission, and you knew I had to do it, it didn't feel good. How….how could I hide the fact that I have such a wonderful friend? You've been one of the dearest, closest friends that I've ever had."

Leaning down, he touched your forehead with his; releasing a breath you didn't know he had been holding. "El mayor - el mayor obstáculo para el amor es… es el temor s-secreto de no ser dignos de ser amados."

"But you are worthy." you reassured him.

"So I am." he accepted.

"Dear, in trying to protect what we have, lying was necessary. Yet, I don't want to pretend that we aren't anything. I love you too much to do that. I don't have any sign or mark of belonging to anyone, and that could've been one of the reasons there were misunderstandings. With V'gha and the others, I was only being friendly."

"I-I know."

"Even if you know, I'm still going to remind you." Resting a hand on his chest, his nervous heart seemed to dance. "Underneath my hand, lies the kind heart of an emotional, passionate genius, and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."

Holding you a fraction tighter, his breath ghosted your cheek. "Really?"

"Mhm."

"Can I-I tell you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Everyday with you is better than the last. If we lived on Venus," he chuckled. "our days would've been 5,832 hours long. That's th-the equivalent of 243 Earth days."

"That's a long time. Hmm," you sighed, relishing in the nearness of him; breathing in the scent which wafted off his sweater and labcoat. You thought to yourself, this is how it should always be. "I wish I could've been born sooner so you wouldn't have had to be lonely. If I could've done that much, I would've been able to repay you. Still, despite my disbelief about our relationship at times, it's one of the reasons I carry the necklace. You know, the one you had given me on that memorable day that you were…" you paused as you felt him sag into himself, pulling away from you slightly as though he were ashamed. You continued on. "on that day when those Guard Ricks came because you were needed on the citadel. I regret that I put you through so much stress that day, but I'm glad you don't resent me for it." Pulling out the necklace, you couldn't help but tear up a little. "I look at this beautiful gift every time I need to be reminded that you always believed in me, adored me, and was part of your world."

"Y-you're not part of it, you are my world."

"And you are mine. There's no way I'll ever forget you."

Though, there was a chance you could or that he could have your memories erased; there were things you weren't supposed to know, but did. There had been stranger cases before, and just in case, you had made copies of your memories. "Why, if you ever have to use that memory eraser thing on me or on yourself, I promise I'll remember for the both of us. So please," you urged, giving him a half-impatient, half-loving shake. "don't think that what we have is so easily broken, because I love you and believe in what we are together."

Neither of you spoke for a while after that, but he gave your hands a good squeeze when he came to a resolution. "What if….what if I gave you a sign?"

"I'd think of an Ace Of Base song," you lightly teased. "and then I'd wonder what you could mean."

Rubbing your back, he said above a whisper. "I mean t-t-t-to say, do you…..¿Quieres casarte?"

"What? Did you just…can you repeat that?"

"D-do you want to get married?"

Pulling away from him, you wondered. "Wait, is this real?"

He nodded. "Y-yes."

"And I'm not in a lotus-eater machine right?"

Smoothing out your hair, he confessed. "N-no, I hope not."

After spending days going through multiple simulations, it was easy to assume that everything wasn't real, and was still part of another simulation within a simulation. You pinched yourself and saw that everything was in place. It's not that you weren't happy, it was just that this was a surprise you hadn't been expecting. For his part, he studied you and found that he liked what he saw and pulled out a little box. "I had wanted the moment t-to be perfect, but I don't think that's possible. I can't…..I don't want to be without you anymore."

"I think I need to sit down for this."

Leading you over to the computer chair, you took a seat while he stood before you; antsy and ready to confess. "Mi corazón, I have wanted to do this for so long, but I - I was too afraid t-t-to ask. I think now, I finally can."

Removing his labcoat, and setting it down, he pushed up the sleeve of his sweater; displaying the tattoo he had gotten a few years ago; a single sunflower with such detail it almost looks three dimensional. If it weren’t for the curve of his arm, it would appear that he took the bloom, shrunk it down, and simply laid it on his inner forearm. "When I got this, I wanted something as beautiful as you with me, always, and - and sunflowers are your favorite. You told me they were the epitome of happiness."

You nodded. "My best memories are associated with them."

"I suppose that still holds true, so I'm going to put my faith in that. To explain, I would like to tell you a few things concerning happiness. Everyday I-I go to work, I look forward to the moment I get to see you when I return. Though, when I come home, and the house is quiet, it's easy to remember that I live alone. However, when I see that the pillows have been rearranged in a way I um - in a way I hadn't left them, or find a mug in the sink, or piles of books that hadn't been read yet, I know I'm not alone; that y-you've been here. Gosh," he sniffled, doing his best not to cry. "when I see your sleeping figure on the couch or in the hammock outside, I think to myself that I want this t-t-to be my life. T-to be our life. You're what's missing in th-the equation to my happiness. When I met you, it's like the sun finally came out and I could finally bloom. We might carry bits of - of happiness, but I-I feel incomplete without you by my side. And I think y-you feel the same."

Taking hold of your left hand, he kissed it and his voice was colored with happiness again. In earnest, he wondered. "So, my beautiful little sunflower, as far as getting married is concerned, do you - do you want to?"

Tbc

#doofus rick #doofus rick x reader #Rick Sanchez x reader #J-19-zeta-7 #Rick J-19-zeta-7 #J19ζ7 #j19z7 #rick j19z7 #Rick Sanchez #Rick and morty #rick and morty fanfiction #Rnm #rnm fanfiction #Rnm fanfic #my fanfiction #my fanfic #my writing #My works #Fanfiction #multi chapter

[bakingthedetectives]

'What Now? I'm Going To Have My Cake And Eat It' - Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders

'She was very, very fat. She spread outwards and towered upwards. At least a quarter of her height seemed to be accounted for by her hair, which was a rigid pagoda-like structure: a landscape of peaks and waves, whorls and curls ending in a sharp point like an inverted ice cream cone. It was the colour of butterscotch instant whip.'

I'm shocked it's taken me such a long time to read any of the Midsomer Murders books. For a long time I didn't even realise there were books, the show being such an institution that it overshadowed all else. On the back of my copy of The Killings At Badger's Drift it says 'One of the CWA Top 100 Crime Novels of All Time'. I pondered what CWA meant. In Leicester CWA is a 'creative thinking' agency (whatever that could possibly be). College of West Anglia? Apparently it's the Crime Writers' Association. Well...great! If it was me running the show it would be at the very top. I have never been so enamoured with a book before. I had made a note on several pages before the end of the first chapter, which is a very good sign indeed. For me it was a connection. Caroline Graham writes like me. She's far superior, obviously, since she is actually a writer, but I couldn't escape the short sentences. I was always told at school not to use short sentences. Brackets and commas are the enemy and you just need to press on with the sentence, give it both barrels. But that's not who I am, that's not how I speak. I often cut myself short to go on a tangent that can only be illustrated with brackets when writing it down (god knows how people keep up with me when I am actually speaking to them. At least three sentences spring from my original sentence and end up far removed the point). She often starts writing a character's thoughts without telling you, and it's not until you're halfway through that you realise it's all in their mind and not part of their external world at all. It's brilliant! Finding someone that has written like this, who has been successful writing like this, brings me great joy. I have no ambitions to be a writer or to do anything with this newsletter other than to write it for myself (I'm so glad you all read it, I really am, but I do this for me first of all. I must do something and this is it), but finding someone else that makes me believe I am allowed to write as I want to is the best feeling in the world.

'You're a good boy,' she crooned, kissing him full on the mouth. Her breath was very sweet, a soft explosion of violet cachous and cream and rich vanilla. 'Mummysbestboy.' Her fingers slipped into his shirt, caressing the bony wings of his shoulder blades. 'Bestestonlyboy.'

I wanted to create a recipe for Barnaby first of all, since he is the main event, but when I started reading The Killings At Badger's Drift I was pacing around the room with excitement thinking about The Rainbirds. Obviously I had seen them portrayed so brilliantly by Richard Cant and Elizabeth Spriggs and loved them then, but reading Barnaby's first encounter with this repulsive duo really set me going. How ghoulishly fascinating they are. Dennis, a pale foppish undertaker, and Iris, a preened oppressive mass of a person. Barnaby thinks they would fit very well into a Joe Orton play and I can completely see that. As the quote above shows, their relationship as mother and son is not quite the usual. I'd quite like to put them behind glass at a museum and watch them, watch their eyes twinkling with conspiracy. When Barnaby and Troy meet them at their home, Dennis Rainbird wheels out a trolley 'built along the lines of the altarpiece at the Brompton Oratory', piled high with sandwiches and cakes. The sandwiches are cut into playing card shapes, which brings out their characters so well (marmite hearts, potted meat diamonds...). Poor Troy is handed a vanilla slice, which Dennis notes he isn't enjoying very much. 'Press him to a frangipane, then' is Iris Rainbird's response. I just love them hideously. They take so much care over their presentation, and they love every minute of it. I had to make the vanilla slice that Sergeant Troy has so much trouble with. It's slightly fiddly, this one, but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. I've made it easier by using shop bought puff pastry, but I do feel The Rainbirds will be able to tell the difference! There will be a bit of wastage of the pastry here but I found myself snacking on this while the custard cooled, so I'm sure you'll be alright.

For the pastry: 2x sheets ready rolled all butter puff pastry some icing sugar, about 1-2 tbsp flaked almonds For the custard: 150ml double cream 650ml full fat milk 3 large egg yolks 100g caster sugar 1 tbsp vanilla bean paste 3 tbsp cornflour 3 tbsp custard powder Preheat the over 200C/180 fan/Gas 6. Fully line a 23cm square cake tin with baking parchment. To prepare the pastry, roll one sheet out onto a baking tray lined with parchment paper. Sprinkle the sheet with icing sugar so there's an even coating and sprinkle with flaked almonds. To prevent the pastry from rising too much, cover it with another sheet of parchment and another baking tray. If you have any baking beans or rice pour that into the tray to make sure it's well held down (puff pastry is very stubborn). Bake this in the oven for 25-30 minutes until the layer is dark in colour. Repeat this process with the second sheet of pastry to get your top layer, but leave out the ground almonds for this one. Peel the parchment off the sheets of cooked pastry. When cooled, trim each pastry slice to fit a 23cm square cake tin and place one sheet of pastry into the bottom of the tin. Set this aside while you make the custard. To make the custard, heat the vanilla, cream and milk on low until it comes to a gently boil. Remove it from the heat temporarily while you whisk together the egg yolks, cornflour, custard powder and sugar. Whisk until everything is combined but don't go over the top. We don't need to add any air to it. Pour a small amount of the hot milk onto the egg mixture and whisk continuously to bring it all together, then slowly add more of the milk until everything is mixed together. Put this back onto the heat and stir continuously until the mixture has thickened. It will naturally come to a boil but try to keep the heat fairly low so it doesn't burn the bottom of the pan. If you wish you can pass the custard through a sieve into a clean bowl to remove any lumps. Press some clingfilm onto the top of the custard to prevent a skin forming, then leave it to cool fully. Once the custard is cooled pour it over the pastry base in the tin and smooth over the top. Using a ruler, neatly cut the top layer into even slices. I cut mine to roughly 3.5cm. Unfortunately there isn't a great way of doing it evenly because of the tin sizes here. We've got 20cm, 23cm, 25cm etc so it's never quite even but do your best. Lay these slices on top of the custard and put everything into the fridge to chill for several hours. Chop the custard slices and serve, preferably on a rickety old tea trolley.

#midsomer murders #tom barnaby #joyce barnaby #john barnaby #baking #recipes #vanilla slice #cream slice #custard slice #pastry #patisserie