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super-unpredictable98 · 2 years

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The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 3

Chapter 7: Surface of Our Potential

Warning: Strong language, mention death and blood, talk about emetophobia

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

"Hey, remember how you woke up from death and you started apologizing?" I gently kissed the spot where the spear formerly empaled him. I had woken up just a few minutes back and couldn't resist taking a little time to watch Klaus sleep.

"Good morning to you too," he joked, mindlessly stroking my hair. "But yeah, I did."

"That kinda reminded me of this other time you were apologizing for something that wasn't your fault. I don't know why I remembered this while I was holding you, but I did... That day in the mausoleum when you threw up and I didn't want to hug you. You were apologizing and begging me not to be mad at you when none of that was your fault."

"You probably remembered that because you were reading my mind without knowing. I was reliving that memory in the void," he explained. "I apologized because you looked terrified. I had another look and you were so tiny and cute, you looked so scared that day."

"Yeah, that's probably why I have emetophobia after all, might have come even before dad started pushing me too far during endurance training."

"Oh my God, you're right... Your biggest phobia is my fault!"

"I was just saying it wasn't your fault. I guess seeing someone I love so much like that messed me up too much."

"I know, but I can't help feeling a little guilty. I mean, you suffered with this your whole life and it stopped you from getting drunk with me and eating new foods, going to new restaurants, I basically put you in a cage."

"It wasn't you, it was dad! He was the one behind all that."

"Y-yeah, yeah you're right," Klaus shook his head before pulling me closer for a kiss, almost like trying to forget everything else. "How's your head? You had one too many last night. Are you feeling sick?"

"A little bit, but I think I'm fine. My head kinda hurts, but I think I sobered up quite a bit after the bath and the pizza."

"The old greasy food trick, I'm glad it worked, Schnucki. Are you hungry? We could get room service if the kitchen staff didn't get vaporized by the Kugelblitz," he suggested, reaching for his phone when someone knocked on the door. "Wow, that was fast..."

"Yeah, but the tone of that knock, I think I know who it is," Vicky sat up and grabbed one of the hotel robes to answer the door. "What, Diego?"

"Have you seen Stan?" he asked, Lila right by his side.

"No, last time I saw him was yesterday."

"Are you sure? Diego told me what you've done to him, could it be you're still angry?" Lila pointed accusatorily at me.

"No! I apologized to him for everything! He had just murdered my fiancé!"

"By accident..." Lila rolled her eyes. "And he came back anyway."

"I'm not even gonna respond to that. I can try and read his mind if you want."

"NO! After what happened yesterday better to stay out of his mind for now," Diego tried not to sound too harsh, but I couldn't blame him for it. It must've been very traumatic for Stanley.

"Okay, if I see him I'll make sure nothing happens and deliver him back to you in one piece."

"Thanks, Vicky," he tousled my hair before leaving.

I closed the door and sighed heavily, now worried about my nephew. He was clumsy and prone to major trouble, like someone else I knew... That made me feel even worse, I knew nothing good ever came from leaving Klaus alone, last time he formed an entire cult for fuck's sake!

"The little squirt is missing?" Klausie asked.

"Seems like it, I bet could find him in two seconds too. But after the mental torture, they don't want my help. It wasn't even my fault, I didn't know what I was doing. It just felt really weird."

"You never knew you could do that, it's normal to mess it up the first few times using a new power. Maybe dad could provide us with some clarity on our newly-found gifts? And also about the whole White Buffalo suite. When I was dead, eating menudo with my mom, there was a buffalo in the soup."

"Ew!"

"Not a real buffalo, the little cubes of meat formed the shape of a buffalo."

"Oh... that's odd."

"And she said I was so blind for revenge that I couldn't see what's right in front of me... So I'm really curious to know what that would be," Klaus reached into one of the shopping bags from the other day and got a fresh pair of trousers and the blue jacket with the fringes he had bought. "I talked to Chet last night, by the way. We are getting married tomorrow at five."

"We are?" I gasped, not even believing what he was saying. "Oh my God! We are actually doing it!"

"Don't tell me you've got cold feet now, Liebling..." he teased.

"No, of course not, I'm just really excited," I looked in the mirror, the plaid yellow skirt matching the suspenders and frilly white button-up probably wouldn't help with dad thinking I look and act like a child, but I felt pretty cute... "I will be Misses Victoria Maria Hargreeves tomorrow! I can't wait to tell everyone!"

"We can invite all of them when we're back, shouldn't take long over there, dad just needs to answer a few questions and we can come back to plan the menu and the cake."

——————————————————

"Jesus, what a mess! We have to find a better way into the house," I said as I broke the window with my fist to let us into the mansion.

"Well, until we make peace with our dear step-siblings, we can't really come through the front door," Klaus groaned, climbing and falling in with a thud. "Here take my hand, I'll pull you up."

"Are you sure?" I held my arms up.

"Yeah, you can't really climb in that skirt, it's gonna give everyone a great show, but I should be the only one with access to the VIP area."

"Klaus Hargreeves jealous? I thought you were all for free love..."

"I am! But I don't really like the idea of some creep seeing you like that, call me a hypocrite," he pulled me up and I fell head first inside.

"Aw, you're the only creep I want looking up my skirt."

We made our way down the hall as I dusted the broken glass from my clothes and my hair. Somehow we knew dad would be watching TV in his office, even after he stopped the pills that's all he seemed to do.

"You again!" Father huffed, opening the door with the same back-scratcher as a defense weapon. "To what do I owe the intrusion?"

"Oh, you know... The world ending for the thrice time I thought why not finally get to know our old man?" Klaus murmured. "Also we're getting married tomorrow, thought you might wanna come by."

"The world is ending and you are planning a wedding?" Dad asked mockingly.

"If the world is ending I'd like to cross that off my bucket list," I shrugged. "We would love to have our old man there."

"I'm not your old man, young lady. I may look like him, act like him, but I did not raise you or your brother."

"Yeah yeah, different timeline stuff, we get it, but you're still him though! You look like him, you act like him only... You're so much nicer than the other one, he was a complete asshole! Back me up here, Vicky!" Klaus nudged my shoulder.

"He was! He was a sadist who loved to torture us."

"Such opprobrious language for you father," dad chastised.

"I don't know what that means," Klaus breathed.

"It means you're being too critical," I whispered.

"I'd love to stay here idly chatting, but I am terribly busy," Reggie pointed at the TV and I turned to leave, but Klaus pulled me back.

"Too bad!" He turned the TV off. "Cause everything is leading us back to you, back to here! The White Buffalo suite, the menudo that resembled the painting!"

"You know about the White Buffalo suite?"

"That's where I died!" Klaus exclaimed, making a dramatic pose to illustrate what he said.

"What is it that you want from me?"

"Have you ever felt like there's something you're supposed to be doing, something important, but no one's telling you what it is? And you're scared that you're gonna miss out or mess it up, because you're always screwing things up and you're really fucking tired of it! I need you to help me understand certain things about who I am."

"Klausie, you don't screw everything up, don't be so hard on yourself," I placed one hand on his naked chest and immediately removed it when I saw the way our father was looking at me with his eyebrow raised. "Sorry, dad."

"What sort of things would you like me to help you with?" Reggie asked.

"Like why you locked me in a mausoleum and slowed down my heart rate until I came to in a pool of my own vomit? Why did you force Vicky to go in there with me when you knew she was scared and wanted to leave? Was it because you wanted her to enter my mind? Did you even know she could do that? That's what the little girl on the bicycle showed me, she might be a god, she might be the devil, who's to say? I don't know which one is which," Klaus continued.

"You are marvelously deranged," dad shook his head with a smile.

"That's sweet, now say something nice about me," I grinned, secretly craving that sweet sweet validation ever since I was born.

"You look very young for your age."

"That wasn't a compliment..."

"Sit down you two, tell me everything about this death and entering people's minds, sit down."

"Okay, it all started when we had to babysit our nephew. We were going with him to the rooms to watch him as he cleaned them up. We managed to get into the White Buffalo suite and we were looking around when that little rascal shot my Klausie with a speargun and killed him. Of course I was beyond pissed, so I might've... Slapped him and said some less than kind words," I lowered my voice with embarrassment. "So I held the body in my arms the entire time until our brother Diego came with his son to see what was happening. I was still very angry at Stan, so everything went black and suddenly I was inside the kid's mind. I could pick and choose what he felt, what he saw, which memories I could replay for him, everything. I ended up misusing this power to make him suffer for killing my fiancé, but it wasn't on purpose, I couldn't control it properly."

"I see, that is very interesting," he grabbed a notebook and a pen to take notes. "And you, young man? How was it like being dead?"

"It was so weird. First I had to watch all these times I died before and didn't even realize it, I had no idea I was dying. It was kinda like a dream, but it was also like a perfume commercial, and then there was soup. And then when I was finished, I just came back, like a click," Klaus brought my hand to his hair so I could play with it as he remembered everything. "Are you even listening to what we're saying?"

"I'm hanging on every word," Reggie assured. "This is fascinating, everything is fascinating. Ever since you weaned me off those damned pills and helped me clean up the broken bowl, I'd like to return the favor. Help you to understand who you really are. Would you like that?"

"There's nothing I'd like more. Other than a probiotic yogurt that doesn't make me fart," Klaus sat up nodding.

"To be fair, I don't think it's entirely the yogurt's fault... You've always been like this," I commented, watching as Reginald headed to the desk and opened a mysterious wooden box.

"Then come over here, boy!" Dad held his arms open for a hug and Klausie smiled in a way I had not seen in decades, it was a childish grin of pure joy.

I was about to join them when I noticed the electrodes in his hand. I was about to warn my fiancé when dad lifted his jacket to place them on his back.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Part one of his healing, experimentation," dad pressed a few buttons on the box and poor Klaus fell to his knees seemingly being electrocuted.

"KLAUSIE!" I pulled him into my arms again and he stared at me with those vacant eyes. "What are you doing? I am gonna kill you!"

"Breathe, young lady, breathe! He is going to be just fine, he will come back just like he did the first time," Reggie caressed my cheek, catching a tear that escaped my eye. "Now let's see what you can do."

"No! Don't bring out the hydraulic press!" I cried, my back already heavy just imagining it.

"I do not have one, child, and I am not interested in testing your endurance. I knew you were quite strong when I saw you were the only one leaving the house without a scratch when you first arrived. I want to see how accurate this mind of yours can be. First I will take a book and read it, I want you to read it too, through my eyes."

"Yeah, okay..." I frowned, still quite disturbed by the scene I just witnessed.

"Fret not, he is expanding his power. And you will as well," he emptied the trash can next to his desk and placed it over my head like a helmet to cover my eyes. "This one will do, please read this paragraph for me."

I closed my eyes even though it was dark and let my brain connect with his. I saw the book right in front of me, and I saw myself sitting on the couch through his eyes.

"The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly, that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes no one's self. Of course they are charitable. They feed the hungry, and clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. Terror of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which is the secret of religion, these are the two things that govern us," I recited as his gaze roamed the page slowly.

"Fascinating... This is fantastic. Let me fetch my device to measure your brain activity and this time I want you to find someone you know and infiltrate their mind instead, see your surroundings and tell me everything," dad opened one of his closets.

I was about to ask if it was going to hurt, but it didn't matter, I just wanted to know what he would say.

Reggie connected me to the machine, placing several electrodes around my head, and sat me down on his chair, something my old dad would've never allowed. I still felt unsafe when I remembered my brother was dead on the floor though. Even knowing he would come back, it still hurt cause I knew it hurt him.

"I want you to choose someone, anyone who isn't in this room and enter their mind as you did to your nephew," Reginald asked. "But don't move anything around, I just want you to observe for now. Access their memories, their information, see what they see..."

I nodded and closed my eyes for a moment while I focused on the several signals I could pick up from there. Diego's was loud and I decided to go with him, hoping to find out where Stan was as well. I was worried about the little asshole.

"I'm in," I murmured as everything turned black once again.

"Whose mind are you inside?"

"My brother Diego."

"And what do you see?"

"He's at the hotel lobby, it's empty, Lila is having sushi. Stanley isn't there... Shit, Stan isn't there!" I whined, frustrated just like Diego. I could feel his anger, I could see it like his brain was a computer. "Lila lied to him about something, but it's confusing, I can't see what it was. She is kinda crazy, so I'm not surprised."

"Tell me more about the place where you are. Is it cold? What is the lighting like?"

"It's warm, the lighting isn't so good. The walls and the floors are dark so it all seems darker, but I can see the light coming in through the revolving doors. He's about to ring the bell... Now everything is dark, I hear snarling, I hear footsteps getting closer."

"Very good, continue..."

"It's not looking good," I started to get anxious being unable to help from where I was, but my heart nearly stopped when some sort of axe or something like that flew from the dark hall, chopping two of Diego's fingers off.

I screamed, seeing his pain and feeling it too. I involuntarily pulled the strings so he wouldn't hurt too bad, but there was nothing I could do to get those two fingers back.

"Victoria, Victoria, come back," dad called, noticing I was starting to get out of control.

"I can't! Something horrible is happening to my brother! I don't know how, I'm stuck!"

"You need to learn how to return quickly, ground yourself! Listen to my voice," Reggie demanded. "Klaus needs you, he's waking up."

"Klaus!" I finally shut down all the outside interference and the light coming from the window blinded me. I never had an issue to come back, but now I was terrified to go inside someone's mind and never be able to get out. "Don't make me do it again, dad, please! I don't want to!"

"Should a child stop trying to ride a bike when they fall for the first time? Foolish! You need to learn how to let the training wheels go and navigate through the souls of anyone and everyone. You will keep trying until you are a master of puppets."

"I've never been a metalhead... I'm more into pop or pop-rock."

"I have no idea what you're rambling about, child."

Klaus groaned as the tossed and turned in pain. I rushed to check on him and he nodded, trying to catch his breath, but before we could even exchange one word, Reginald turned the electricity back on, killing him again.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I felt the electricity running through my body as well, but it didn't affect me like it did for him. "He had just gotten back!"

"It took him 38 minutes, we need to get a better time," he wrote down in his notebook. "Do you know how long it took him the first time?"

"A little under an hour," I mumbled.

"Very good, let's go for a ride, shall we? You two still have a lot of progress to make," he grabbed the keys and opened one of his drawers to get a gun.

"Don't! Are you gonna keep killing him?"

"This isn't for him, young lady, this is for you. Being bulletproof isn't enough, you need to learn how to make the bullets ricochet and kill whoever shot you."

"But Alphonso told me I needed more mass to be able to do that."

"What you both failed to understand is that your powers are not at all alike. Number Four was able to reflect the damage his body suffered with the injuries it sustained. Your body is unharmable, you're more remarkable than you can imagine. Now help me carry your brother... Fiancé... To the car."

"You think I'm remarkable? Really?"

"Chop chop!"

#tua #tua fanfic #tua klaus #umbrella academy fanfic #umbrella academy klaus #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves x oc #klaus hargreeves #fanfic #robert sheehan character fic #robert sheehan fanfic

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jocy-diaries · 2 years

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06.25.2022

Aah, I missed my DnD session today. I must have been a lot more tired than I thought... Hopefully I cam make the next ones.

You know. I was living in my own little world here in France and Italy. I had zero American news and I was happy. Then I went on the meeting for Work and got the American news and BOOM my depression has returned 😅 Maybe I should buy a house in Canada instead. Or at least like. Oregon.

I feel so tired... I've been laying in bed since I woke up. I think I'll start taking my medication again. And instead of going to Cinque Terre (I don't think I can do those stairs again) I'll just walk around the town, get an ice cream, maybe some souvenirs, and hopefully a pizza. I haven't been taking the best care of myself lately...

So I got kicked out of my room by house cleaning around 12, and honestly thank goodness for that otherwise I might have remained all day lol After that I went to walk a bit and I realized I could try to get a boat ride. So I saw the Sea again!!! A lot more green than in Cinque Terre, but still wonderful~

After that I decided to go to a museum and ohmygod it was so nice!! It was such an experience. I took my time, read all of the information, saw all of the pieces, took all the photos and selfies I wanted, and I was all alone in the museum! No crowd, just me and the art~ I loved it.

And when I was done, one of the museum curators saw me and pointed me to another exhibition. I SAW BAST THERE!!!! I saw the aegis of Bast and the Eye of Ra and low-key freaked out. That was the LAST thing I had expected to see!

After all that I was super hungry so I decided to finally stop at a restaurant. The salt and pepper certainly add something to the margarita. Not sure if it's something good though lol And the pizza toppings on bread, honestly, wad amazing. Whatever they put in this Mojito is STRONG. I'm already feeling it and yet I want another drink.. Maybe salt and pepper really is the key 🤔 I'm already rather drunk. But ohmygod I can't wait to order my next drink~~~ This is such a bad idea. Cuz I'm a lightweight. And I'm smol. But this time it has ice so that will surely help~ And I have water at the Hotel Hotel I can still get hydrated.

We've been calling eating half of our restaurant food a success, so I think I'm sticking to that.

Mojitos are so fucking good. You can't go wrong with mint and alcohol~ But uh-oh. I think I'm legit drunk now 8) Getting to my hotel will be interesting. I still want ice cream.

A bridal party just walked by with the bride to be holding a big inflatable penis. What a wonderfully Bacchus event.

The first and only car I've seen driving through the square had been been police car. I guess they're bastards everywhere.

I don't think I'll be able to finish my whole dinner, but once I'm done, I wanna go back to the hotel, wash my hair, and watch Aggretsuko wile doing my hair. I'm gonna miss La Spezia so much!!!! I want a house here. And in Nanterre. Those are my goals.

I almost feel bad, like the beggars here know how to target people so that last one totally got me. But now I have my earliest on so I'm just straight up ignoring people. I feel bad but like. I'm eating dude. Please.

Oh and I bought my little sister the best freaking gift >:) It likes weird dolls (and I could have gotten an awesome dolls but it was thirty bucks I'm sorry ;^;) But I bought it a cool looking clay mask~ It loves masks and weird doll stuff. It's so easy to shop for.

I gave a pigeon some of my bruschette since I'm kinda full. I'm waiting for it to come back so I van give it more, but it won't :(

I was only able to walk to my hotel correctly because I was stepping in time with The Fox's Wedding playing in my earphones XD Perfecto~ Oh I am so pleasantly drunk~ I love it~~ I'll wait until I'm a bit more sober before I do my hair.

#dear diary #june 2022 #06.25.2022 #italy 2022 #travel #la spezia

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staticscreenwriting · 3 years

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Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes // 6

SIX - GHOST

Trigger warning: Alcohol, food, mention of sex (nothing graphic and no actual smut)

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

"You held hands?"

"Mmh."

"And then you cuddled."

"We didn't cuddle, I was just kind of - leaning into him. Sort of."

"So you cuddled!"

"Sure. If that's what you wanna call it. We cuddled."

"Then what?" Robin inquires. Smirking at (Y/N) over the rim of her wine glass, like a giddy pre-teen waiting for the kissing scene to come up in a romance movie.

"And nothing. That's it."

"Oh come oooon. You cozied up to each other and then just what - acted like it never happened?"

"Essentially. But that's okay. It's not a big deal. And don't say it like that."

"Like what?" Robin continues to poke and by this point, it's not so much her wanting information than her trying to rile up (Y/N). Though she's very well aware of this, (Y/N) falls for it anyway.

"Cozied up to each other," (Y/N) says and scrunches her nose up in distaste. "Like we had dirty sex or something."

"Do you want to have dirty sex with him? Oh man, imagine what that arm can do."

Holding her hand out to stop her best friend from talking, (Y/N) takes a big gulp of white wine, emptying her glass. This is a conversation that can't be held entirely sober. "First of all, don't say those things about his arm. It's- I don't know. It doesn't sit right with me."

"Sorry yeah that was … not cool" Robin apologizes and by the tone of her voice (Y/N) can tell she means it.

"I'm the first to admit that Bucky is insanely handsome and if things were different, sure. But we're friends and I really enjoy the time spent together and our friendship. I don't wanna do anything to jeopardize it or ruin it by adding unnecessary feelings to it."

"Feelings aren't unnecessary," Robin replies, combing her fingers through her fiery red curls.

"Sometimes they are. The last thing Bucky and I need is broken hearts and ruined friendships."

"What if it doesn't end that way?"

"Relationships never work out well for me, you know that."

Robin places her glass on the countertop. It means whatever talk is gonna follow, it'll be a serious one. There's been very little need for a serious talk between the girls over the time they've been friends but neither of them has ever been afraid to start those conversations and say things as they are. Sometimes that's what friendship is, being blunt even if it's not what your friend wants to hear.

"Look I'm not saying you have to take the relationship to another level. If this is making you happy the way it is, then that's all that matters to me. I just don't want you to give up on something that could be great, because you're scared and because some stupid assholes in the past didn't realize what they had in you."

Where she's only had shit luck with relationships, (Y/N) thinks she's really lucked out in the friend department. Robin is as wonderful as they come. Even if she drives her crazy sometimes.

"They weren't all assholes." (Y/N) chimes up weakly though there's not even enough determination in her voice to convince herself.

"Weren't they? Let's see ...I'm not even gonna talk about Russel. He doesn't count. Who else was there? Pete liked to show you off but he didn't like you. Did he?"

"Not really."

"See? Asshole! Kylie only wanted to be with you so she could be the cool girl who's fucked another girl once and use that as something to brag to the guys about."

"She was figuring herself out."

"She was straight, babe. She was using you and your sexuality as some kind of badge of honor so guys would think she's cool. She only wanted to make out with you at parties and when there were men around to ogle you. I’m the last person to blame anyone for trying to figure out who they are and who they like but that wasn’t the case here. She used you, and what does that make her?"

“ An asshole? “

“ An asshole!”

“ What about Ricky, he wasn’t an asshole! “ (Y/N) chimes in, filling her glass up once more.

“ Okay sure but he was your High School sweetheart and that rarely lasts. I’m not gonna count him. What about Mike —“

“— Okay, you’ve made your point. I have a bad taste in romantic partners, I get it. Doesn’t change anything. Me and Bucky we’re — we’re good as we are. No romance needed.”

“ Just don’t want you to miss out on something great.”

It’s not that the thought has never crossed her mind. In fact, when she’s being really honest to herself, it swirls around her head a lot. When he grants her one of his smiles. The rare ones that make his eyes crinkle. Or when he comes to see her and brings dog treats for Lady, just because he’s that thoughtful. Or when she noticed he put a popcorn and a sun emoji next to her name in his phone. The popcorn, as he said because she liked movies and the sun because she’s always happy and smiling. Or when he held her hand throughout the entire movie. Those are moments when (Y/N) thinks about what it would be like to be more than friends.

“ It’s great as it is now. He’s great.”

“ Then that’s all that matters to me.” Robin smiles. She has one of those smiles that makes you feel at home. Comfortable and soft. Like warm milk with honey a mom makes their child when they can’t sleep.

It’s a while later, when (Y/N) strolls back into the room, another bottle of wine in hand, that a knock sounds on her front door. Her eyes wander to Robin then to the door then back. “I’m not expecting anyone.”

“ Oh, that’s Bucky.” Robin, who’s by now migrated over to (Y/N)’s huge fluffy couch, Lady cuddled onto her lap, says with the most casual of tones (Y/N) has ever heard. As if Bucky and her have been lifelong friends. As if there is nothing strange or peculiar about this situation.

“ How do you know?”

Robin shrugs and goes back to petting Lady’s curly fur. “ He texted you when you were getting the wine. Said he was around and had food. I told him to come join us for movie night. What’s the big deal? “

“ I uh — it’s not I just — you could’ve told me. “

“ That was literally 5 minutes ago babe. I had no time to tell you yet. By the way, this man uses entirely too many emojis.”

A smile pulls on the corners of (Y/N)’s lips. She’s asked him once why he never used any emojis, or smileys as he called them (all of them — even the ones that aren’t faces). He told her he didn’t really understand when to use most of them, like the shrimp or the Hockey stick. (Y/N) told him it’s because they’re fun. Ever since then he uses all kinds of emojis with her. None really relating to his messages. It’s quite endearing if she’s being honest.

“ Are you gonna let him in? “ Robin asks, shaking (Y/N) out of her thoughts.

The smell of Chinese food floods into the apartment as (Y/N) opens her door to Bucky. He looks so effortlessly cool in his leather jacket and boots. With his hair a little longer now, all swoopy and quiffed. Like the bad boy straight from a romance novel. The one with a heart of gold. The one that gets the girl.

(Y/N) is not that girl, the one from the novels, the Hallmark movies. The one that’s quirky but never weird. The one that makes all the boys fall for her. She’s not the main character, at least according to herself. She’s the side character that shows up like twice. The one that helps the main character on their quest to self-discovery or true love. That’s who she is. Not more, not less.

“ I brought food!” Bucky exclaims as he steps inside, waving the bag around before placing it on the kitchen counter, to which Lady jumps up from her position on Robin’s lap.

Lady, (Y/N) has realized a while ago, has somehow fallen head over paws in love with Bucky. Always following him, looking up at him with her big brown puppy eyes. Always looking to be close to him. Maybe, (Y/N) thinks, it’s the treats he always carries around. But maybe it’s Bucky too and his patience and his affection and the way he greets the little dog like she’s the main reason he’s come around.

Moments like this, they come with those little flutters around the heart. People always compare them to butterflies. (Y/N) thinks that’s wrong. Butterflies are gentle, graceful, and soft. This feels like a swarm of bees. Chaotic. Overwhelming. A little bit scary.

“ Man, did you plan on coming here, or did you buy all this for yourself?” Robin asks, eyes wide in surprise at the sheer amount of styrofoam containers Bucky keeps pulling from the bags.

“ I kind of bought it with the intention of sharing, yeah. “

Robin’s eyes meet (Y/N)’s across the room and there's a silent secret there, hidden in her teasing smirk. One shared only with a friend. No words. No sounds. Just the truth and two knowing hearts connecting.

“ Am I intruding? If you guys want me to leave, I can leave. “

While he tries to keep his voice casual, the sad tint doesn’t get lost on (Y/N).

“ Absolutely not, don’t be silly. We’re just drinking wine and watching a movie and you are free to join us in both.”

While he shakes his head at her offer of wine, Bucky helps (Y/N) bring the food over to the couch and plops down in the middle of the couch, Robin to his right and (Y/N) on his left.

“ What are we watching? “ he asks, a dumpling already on the way into his mouth.

“ Well, “ Robin responds filling her glass up once more, “ it was (Y/N)’s turn to chose so —”

“ A rom-com”

“ A rom-com. “

Something about seeing these two interact and joke around inspires a fuzzy feeling to wrap itself around (Y/N)’s heart. Even if they’re making fun of her.

The way Bucky fits in here, as if it’s where he’s always belonged. The way he’s not a stranger imposing but a friend added to the mix. It’s a nice feeling. She hopes he feels it too.

“ Okay, whatever. This isn’t your usual rom-com though, there are ghosts in this one. “

“ Is it ghosts falling in love?” Robin asks and lets her laugh get swallowed by her wine glass.

“ No. Well — uh kinda but not really. They fall in love be — you know what, just start the damn movie! “

There’s an undeniable intimacy in watching your favorite movies with other people. It’s like giving away little pieces of yourself and sharing them with others. No matter how insignificant it may seem to anyone else but you. These are the things that make us who we are. Our passions. For art. For music. For books. For movies. And opening up is always scary. Even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit.

Through the corner of her eye (Y/N) glances at Bucky and Robin, trying to judge their reactions. See if they’re enjoying themselves or not. Bucky displays his ever-present scowl. It’s the default setting. Sometimes she wonders if that has always been the case. If that's just what he looks like or if years of abuse, horror, pain have left their marks on him, on not only his heart but also his face.

Maybe this can be his safe place, she thinks. Maybe she can be. Not someone to fix him, because he’s not broken, just lost. Not to fix but to hold his hand while he heals. Slowly but surely.

For a while, the three sit in comfortable silence. The kind that fills you with this inexplicable calm. Where no words are needed.

And then the beginning chords of unchained melody spill from the tv speakers. It’s a touch there, a kiss here, hands covered in clay. Bodies covered in clay. Gasps and heavy breathing. Hands grasping skin, wandering, loving.

Robin’s presence falls completely to the back of (Y/N)’s mind. Bucky’s however...

“Do you want to have dirty sex with him? “ her friend's words ghost through her head like a particularly annoying jingle for some tv ad. The room feels warm all of a sudden. Not warm — boiling. There’s a heat radiating from her right, from Bucky. So what if he’s attractive. So what if she sometimes lets her mind wander and think about how his hands would feel on her skin or his lips on hers or his — yeah okay you get the point. So what?

Bucky slumps down into the couch a little more with every second of steamy pottery sex that’s fluttering across the tv screen. Is he — nervous? Uncomfortable ? No, she must be imagining it. Projecting, that’s what this is. She’s projecting her own chaotic emotional state onto him. There’s nothing there. (Y/N) has to remind herself. Just secret little thoughts that have to be kept between her and her. As long as no one knows, no one gets hurt. It’s the easy way out. The safe way. The right way.

Right?

“ Sooo, what did you guys think?” (Y/N) asks, turning her body towards her friends and sitting criss-cross on the couch.

“ Didn’t expect all the murder. “ Bucky replies as he takes a sip from his beer. “ And the — “

“ The messy sex! I know.” a visibly intoxicated Robin cuts in.

“ Not where I was going but okay.”

She doesn’t pay his words any attention, instead of launching herself backwards over the arm of the couch, dramatically fanning herself with her perfectly manicured hand. “ I am not going to lie, oh boy that was some hot stuff. Wouldn’t say no to that.”

“Oh please,” (Y/N) chimes in, wine glass clutched in hand and smile on her face. She can clearly feel the alcohol washing through her system bringing her to the place between sober and drunk where everything feels light and your confidence seems to get a little extra boost. “ What do you have to complain about? You’re getting married in two weeks! I’m sure you get enough action as it is. “

Robin doesn’t answer right away, just throws (Y/N) a giddy, boozed-up smile. Though in her eyes, there’s a loved-up glimmer of someone about to marry the love of their life.

“ Yeah, that’s true.”

“See, so you’re not the one that should be complaining. Us, however…”

Her red curls swing around her like a spark of fire as Robin sits up again, pointing her finger at (Y/N).

“ And whose fault is that? You could be getting some if you didn’t get so lost in your romantic fantasies. And him — “ the red-haired girl exclaims before pointing her finger towards Bucky “ don’t even tell me he ain’t getting some. Look at him! Are you sexually active, Bucky? “

“ You don’t have to answer that. Robin, come on.”

“ No, you don’t have to but you should. I’m trying to prove a point. Help me prove a point, Bucky. “

“ You’re making him uncomfortable. “

“ Am I making him uncomfortable or you? “

“ Ooookay, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. “

“ Nooo, we’re having a conversation. “

“ Would you look at that, my drink is empty. I’m just gonna — I’m gonna get another one. Okay? Okay.”

Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer before getting up and rushing out of the living room and into the kitchen, clearly uncomfortable. Clearly embarrassed.

“ See what you did? You scared him off. “

“ I couldn’t scare that man off if I tried. Trust me. “ Robin murmurs, a loud yawn cutting through her argument. There’s a certain determination in her words though. Some truth hidden in there that (Y/N) can’t quite put her finger on. It’s like Robin knows something she doesn’t. And maybe it’s good this way. Maybe she doesn’t need to know.

“ Alright, whatever that’s supposed to mean, Tipsy. I’ll go see what he’s up to. You go the fuck to sleep.”

“ Whatever mom, “ Robin bickers and cuddles closer into the soft couch anyway. “ Oh, don’t forget to invite him! I like him. We’re friends now. “

“ Go to sleep! “ (Y/N) orders again, earning herself a salute from her best friend who starts snoring no more than 2 seconds later.

He feels like a 13-year-old. Actually — no. Things were easier at 13. Situations like this one were easier at 13. Being horny was easier at 13.

It was all new to him then, yes, but it was new for everyone at 13. He’s 106 now, a grown man. He should be able to talk or at least think about these things without turning into a full-blown mess. His hand is clammy, his face is probably the same shade of bright red as Robin’s hair. And by god, his thoughts are a jumbled mess, swirling around all over the place.

Truth be told, he hasn’t had a lot of time to actually think about anything even remotely physical. It was never very high on his list of things to figure out and the opportunity hasn’t really presented itself to him either. Not since the 1940s at least.

Have things changed? Surely not, right? Maybe people got a bit more experimental and for sure they talk more openly about it now but the fundamentals must have stayed the same. He sure hopes so at least.

His thoughts get interrupted as (Y/N) steps into the kitchen. Her eyes are slightly glassed over from the wine though she’s nowhere near as drunk as Robin. She seems happy, then again she always does. For a little moment, he feels jealousy wash over him. About being able to get drunk. It’s damn stupid, he’s well aware. But that doesn’t make his feelings less valid. To just drink and let go and forget, that sounds really nice.

But that’s just one of the things the serum has taken from him. By far not the worst aspect of it all but unpleasant either way.

“ Hey uh — you okay? “ she asks leaning against the kitchen island across from him.

“ Sure. Are you? “

“ I uh — might be a little drunk, “ (Y/N) confesses as she lifts her hand and indicates a tiny space with her fingers.

“ Yeah, I think you might be.” Bucky laughs. Actually laughing comes naturally when she’s around and quite honestly, at first, it made him feel guilty. Guilty about the fact that he got to laugh along with a pretty girl while so many people had to die through his hands.

He tries to push those thoughts away. They aren’t doing anyone any good. Not him and not those people either.

“ Hey, I’m sorry she was making you uncomfortable. She gets — well she has no filter when drunk. Or ever really.”

Bucky shakes his head. His finger nervously trails along the grain of the stone countertop. There are conversations he needs to have, sooner or later, if he wants to live his life. Not just coast along but actually live. But it doesn’t mean those come easy. Not for someone who’s been through all he’s been through. Not for someone who’s grown up the way he has, who’s been raised the way he has.

“ Ah, no. Don’t worry. I uh — I just. It’s been a long time since I had talks like this. “

“ Like what? “

“ Between friends, you know. About — stuff. “

“ About sex? “

“ Mmh. “

“ You don’t have to talk about it with us if you don’t want to. It’s fine. “

“ No, but I do want to talk about sex with you. I mean — not you, you. You both. But not in a weird way. I mean — with friends. “

“ Okay. “

“ It’s just that I was raised in different times and the last time I had a real actual friend that I talked to about intimate things was so long ago. Steve and I talked about everything and even then there used to be reservations. One because I don’t think Steve really wanted details and two because Steve wasn’t — he didn’t have the most experience when it came to women so it was a very one-sided conversation. And I’ve never talked about any of this with a girl. It’s all new to me but I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you. “

(Y/N) regards him with a glimmer of amusement and mischief in her eyes as she munches away on some cold leftover spring rolls.

“ You don’t have to justify yourself to me, Buck. I know you trust me, I hope you know I trust you. “

He does. And he doesn’t hate how it sounds when she calls him Buck.

“ So, Robin and Charlie are getting married in two weeks. I was wondering if you’d like to be my plus one. Back when they announced it I was under the impression Russel and I would be a thing by then but uh — clearly that didn’t happen. It’s in upstate New York. We’re all gonna stay at this gorgeous Inn and well there’s a spot open if you want it.”

“ As a plus one? “

No matter how much he wants to deny it to himself, his heart does a little flutter as she says those words. A plus one sounds like something. He’s not sure what but something, surely.

“ Yeah, as a friend, obviously. “

“ Obviously. “

There goes the flutter.

“ Robin is okay with it by the way. She explicitly told me to ask you.”

“ So Robin wants me there, not you. “

“ No! I want you there! I love spending time with you. Also, Robin’s family is crazy. I need you by my side. I need you there. I want you there. “

“The need to be needed is an individual’s sense of significance rooted in the sense of being part of a community or cause beyond themselves. The need to be needed is one of our fundamental desires. We want to feel significant in the eyes of others, even if it is only one other person. “

Bucky has read those words in one of the many magazines stacked on the little side table in the waiting room of Dr. Raynor's office. They didn’t really make much sense to him then. He always thought he’d be fine by himself.

In that moment he realizes that was all a big pile of absolute bullshit.

The feeling of being wanted, of being needed, even if it’s just one person that needs him, that means everything.

“ Okay, I’ll come. “

“ Yeah? “

And there it is again, the smile that reminds him of the sun. The smile that he’s sure could bring a thousand men to their knees, including himself.

“ Cool. I’m — I’m really happy about that. “

“ Mmh. Me too. “

For a moment they just look at each other, words unspoken swirling in the air between them, neither brave enough to let them slip from their tongue.

It’s not until a particularly loud snore coming from the living room pops the bubble and breaks the spell.

Both of them fall into giggles before Bucky speaks up again.

“ It's late I should probably go. “

“ Yeah and I should go to bed. I’ll have a hangover tomorrow for sure.”

Bucky slips into his leather jacket and places a soft kiss goodbye on Lady’s head before turning back to (Y/N).

“ For the record, I’m not getting any. “

“ I uh — okay. Good. Well not good, “ (Y/N) stumbles over her words “ not good for you. Good for me. I mean. Not that I don’t want you to have sex. But I mean, Robin was taking the piss, and if I don’t get laid it makes me feel better to know you aren’t either. Oh god, this sounds horrible. I’m just gonna stop talking now. “

Bucky smiles the brightest smile she’s ever seen him smile, it almost breaks his face in two. And even though she wants the ground to swallow her whole right then, if it puts a smile like that on his face, she’ll gratefully embarrass herself again.

“ Have a good night, (Y/N). “

“ You too, Bucky”

And with a kiss to her head, he leaves the flat, a smile staying on his lips the entire way home.

“ Why did I have to come again? This is a bachelorette party, I thought men aren’t allowed. “ Bucky grumbles as (Y/N) parks her truck in the parking lot of the convenience store. The pink and blue neon lights reflect on the wet asphalt.

“ It’s a shared party. We’re all friends so it makes sense for the couple to celebrate together. Stop moaning. “ (Y/N) exclaims as her heels create a click-clack sound.

The store is empty as they enter except for the bored-looking teenager leaning against the counter by the cash register.

There’s something about empty stores at night that makes it feel like time stands still. Like for a moment, reality is altered. There’s only you and the outdated music coming from the speakers and the hum of the refrigerators holding the soda cans.

“ I can’t believe Hannah forgot to bake the cake. It’s all she had to do. I did everything else, everything. She had one job. “

Bucky’s learned by now to just let her rant about this topic. It’s all she’s talked about for the last hours since Hannah, public enemy number one that day, has called her to inform her she’s forgotten about the cake. Why there needs to be a cake at this party, Bucky doesn’t know but hey, who is he to question it.

(Y/N) walks straight over to the counter that holds the bakery items only to be met with disappointment.

“ Well great. We can choose between one single cupcake, a box of stale donuts, and a croissant. “

“ What about this one? “ Bucky asks and points towards a bright pink cake decorated with candy roses and white icing.

“ It says Happy Birthday. “

“ Ah, don’t worry we can fix that.”

(Y/N) raises her eyebrows in doubt. “ You sure? “

“ 100%. Trust me. “

She regards him for a moment, uncertainty shining through, before granting him a little smile and a nod. “ Okay then. You get the cake, I’ll be over there for a second. “

Looking through the fridges, (Y/N)’s eyes fall onto a pack of popsicles in the shape of Captain America’s shield.

Ripping open the fridge door she calls out “ Hey Grumpy, would you like thes— “

All she hears is a smack and then Bucky’s voice exclaiming a loud “Fuck!”

And in that moment she doesn’t know what’s more shocking, the fact that she just slammed the door right into his face or hearing him swear.

“ Are you okay? I’m so sorry. “

“ I’ll be fine.”

“ We gotta put ice on it. “

“ No (Y/N) I — “

She’s already on her way to get a pack of frozen peas. And if Bucky is being real honest, his cheek does hurt quite a bit. Super Soldier Serum and all …

“ I am genuinely so sorry. “

Bucky sits on the bed of (Y/N)’s truck, frozen peas pressed to his face and a chuckle falling from his lips as (Y/N) sends yet another apology his way.

“ It’s okay, (Y/N). I told you, I’m fine. “

He pulls the peas away from his face and places them next to him, before picking up the cake and lifting the plastic lid off of the container.

“ Alright, let’s see if I can fix this. “

“ You have a bruise on your cheek. “

Bucky looks up at her with those gorgeous blue eyes of his, that (Y/N) sometimes finds herself drowning in. Calm and story all at once. Like oceans.

“ Does it make me look rough and handsome? “

“ You’re always handsome. But yes, it gives you a roguish charm. “

“ Good. “

(Y/N) feels a heat rush to her face as Bucky focuses back on the cake.

“ Mmmkay. Let me see. What if we — “ Bucky murmurs, more to himself than to (Y/N). He swipes his finger, sans glove, over the white icing letters and while there’s a good intention there, when he lifts his finger back up the cake looks like a downright mess.

“ Ta-da “ he exclaims and turns the cake towards her.

“ It says Happy day now “

“ Is it not a happy day? “ Bucky asks, eyebrows raised in question.

“ Let me rephrase that. It says ‘Happy messy white stain Day’ “

Bucky pulls his lips into a grimace, eyes wandering from (Y/N) down to the cake and back to her. “ Yeah, we can’t bring that “.

Laughter fills the air as they regard the sad mess of a cake before them. If this was a movie, (Y/N) thinks, this would be their moment. The one where they realize. The one that feels like time stops and all that matters is them.

Something wet and sticky against her cheek pulls her from her daydream.

“ What the hell? “

Bucky only grins at her. There’s the boyish charm again. It’s so insanely endearing to see these little moments flare up and push through the perpetual gloom he seems to carry with him. He doesn't hold the weight of 90 years of fighting on his shoulders right then.

“ Oh you didn’t “

Before Bucky can react she grabs a handful of the cake and smashes it against the uninjured side of his face.

“ Is that how you wanna play it? Okay. Fine. “

Cake flies through the air as their laughter rings through the night. Not a thought wasted on pain, on worries, on heartbreak.

The rooftop bar (Y/N) booked specifically for this night is covered in fairy lights and glitter decor. There’s a karaoke machine in one corner and an open bar in the other.

A loud cheer sounds from the crowd as Robin steps out into the open, fingers intertwined with those of a petite brunette with big square glasses sitting on her nose.

They get swallowed by a tidal wave of people, pulled from one hug into another, and while his eyes stay with them, Bucky feels a touch against his metal arm. (Y/N) wraps herself around him leans her head against his shoulder and stares lovingly at the couple before them.

“ I’m so glad she’s happy. I love her so much. “

“ She loves you too. “ he says.

And really how could anyone not?

A little while later, when the crowd has allowed them to breathe again, Robin and the brunette wander towards Bucky and (Y/N), matching smiles on their faces.

“ Buck, this is Charlie, Robin’s fiancee. Charlie, this is my friend Bucky. “

“ It’s so nice to meet you,” Charlie exclaims, a strong English accent dripping from her words. “ What in the world happened to your face? Are you okay? “

While Bucky smirks, (Y/N) flinches at those words and shrinks into herself a little.

“ Oh you know, funny story. Someone here was a little too excited about some red white and blue popsicles. “

Robin lets out a loud laugh “ Now that sounds like someone I know very well. “

“ They were shaped like Cap’s shield, okay. I thought it was funny and fitting. “

Charlie’s eyes move between the 3, a look of confusion settling on her features.

“ Why fitting? “

“ Oh babe, let me catch you up,” Robin says and steers Charlie in the direction of the bar.

The night flies by and for the first time in so long, Bucky doesn’t feel out of place. Not for a single moment. Even being surrounded by people he doesn’t know and while listening to music he doesn’t get. It’s nice, feeling like you belong.

Robin and Charlie have just finished their karaoke rendition of Don’t Stop Believing when a familiar voice echoes from the speakers.

“ Hello guys, my name is (Y/N). You may know me, I’m the maid of honor. I am responsible for this party — you’re welcome. Anyway, I guess it’s my turn to sing tonight but I can’t do this one alone. I’m gonna require my friend, Mr. James Buchanan Barnes up on this very stage with me. “

Oh no. Definitely no. Not in a million years. No w—

“ Because this one’s a duett. “

Her eyes meet his across the way, shining with amusement, mischief, affection. Even across the dimly lit roof, her sunshine smile seems to light up the entire night.

“ I’m not doing it, “ Bucky says and shakes his head as Robin slides up to his side.

“ C’moooon. “

“ Nope. I probably don’t even know the song. “

It’s like the universe wants to make a fool of him as in just that moment Bill Medley’s voice sounds through the night.

“ I know you know this song. “ Robin says and nudges his side “ come on don’t make her do this by herself. “

“ I — “ he looks at (Y/N) again, with her sunshine smile and those expressive eyes and the buttercream stain on her shirt. And he doesn’t see fear or pain or regret. All he ever sees when he looks at her is happiness and fun and laughter.

“ Ugh. Okay. Alright. “

Cheers follow him as he steps on stage and (Y/N) hands him the second mic. Though it’s supposed to be a duett, (Y/N) doesn’t really care and sings both parts with unfiltered joy and unapologetic passion. And while it takes a moment for him to warm up to it, Bucky can’t help but let her enthusiasm light a spark in him too and by the time the pre-chorus hits he joins her in singing their hearts out.

“ You're the one thing I can't get enough of. So I'll tell you something. This could be looooooove “

New York comes alive with the promise of a better tomorrow. One where Bucky feels like he belongs. To a place or a group of friends or a person. A tomorrow where he can laugh with a pretty girl, have food fights in a parking lot, and sing some silly song at the top of his lungs.

Maybe the song isn’t all wrong. Maybe he’s having the time of his life. And maybe, just maybe, he owes it to (Y/N).

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //:

@zaynyierulez - @je-like-you - @dracoxxyoflam - @jackiehollanderr - @majo240820 - @kay-gilles -@booksb4looksstuff - @jckie94 - @charmed-asylum - @shawnie--jo - @yllwtaxi - @tailsoflightning - @giuliarogers - @mangoogirl - @gerim-1995 - @elen-alambil - @threeminutesoflife - @writeroutoftime - @buckybarn3s - @rosaline-black - @kenziekugler22 - @vghz82

#bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter solider fanfiction #winter soldier x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #marvel imagine #tfatws imagine #james barnes x reader

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slashersins · 4 years

Note

You've made a few posts about getting stoned with Michael in the past,, how do you think it'd be with some of the other slashers?? And like, which ones do you think would be into it and other ones that maybe aren't sure about it but would try it if they knew you liked it? and which ones would not smoke or take anything EVER? I'm just very curious to hear your take on this !! I mean... don't think you've made any previous posts about this?

okay so , lets break this down into categories ! they’re pretty well spread out , so here we go !

the ones who would smoke

michael myers . big surprise here . big boy likes to get high . however , he prefers editables . if you want to smoke , that’s fine , he won’t take a hit . pass him a brownie . also , be prepared , this man gets lazy and hungry and very touchy . he’s a fucking cuddle monster when he’s high . kind of like a needy kitten who wants pets in the middle of the night and will lay across your face , only to jump off and eat food as loud as they can before coming back for more loving . michael is exactly like that . also , if you want high sex , you’re gonna have to take charge and ride him , he’s just gonna enjoy his high and pleasure while you do the work .

vincent sinclair . it’s one of his favorite ways of relaxing . he’s done it since he was a teen . bo discovered booze , he discovered weed . he’s no less intense when he’s high , still staring at you , still touching you , only his movements are slowed and less delicate . he wants you close , in his lap , against his side . he’ll play metal music in the back ground , letting smoke swirl around the both of you . expect a lot of smoky kisses and long gazes from your man . he’s high as fuck and you’re the only thing important to him right now . a living breathing work of art .

carrie white . carrie ? our sweet girl ? doing the weed ? it’s more likely than you think ! while she might take some convincing , her deep need to rebel against her mother brought on by the courage you give her has this good girl shyly taking a hit . she will cough . give her water and praise and tell her it’s all okay . it happens , you can take it slow . and please do . let the high slowly seep into her skin and lungs and let her feel light and relaxed . she’ll want to cuddle , and you should stroke her hair and just talk . you’ll smoke and talk for hours , never getting so high that you’re both far gone , but getting high enough that everything is slow and hazy . you might even get some shy kisses from your sweet girl , and she’ll giggle and hide in your chest , feeling free for once .

the ones who would rather drink

bo sinclair . everyone knew he’d be on this list . the man drinks so much he should have a beer gut and how he doesn’t is beyond everyone . whether it’s a beer after a days work , a couple after a rough day , or an entire pack after a bitch ass week , this man usually has at least one a day . he likes the buzz he feels . he likes how in some ways he can forget about shit . but mostly he just wants to get fucked up and sleep . while he can be a bastard when sober , he can be one when drunk too , running his mouth . but he also tends to get a little more emotionally open when drunk , so you might end up hearing him say things he will pretend not to remember in the morning .

lester sinclair . another beer drinker in the sinclair home , only he’s a lot more casual about it . he’s like a social drinker , only having two or three . he’s a goofy drunk , stumbling around and laughing and chattering on . vincent and bo find it hard to be upset after a rough week if they have lester over to get drunk . it’s also funny to them that their baby brother is such a light weight . he gets really embarrassed when he does get drunk enough that he’s making a little bit of a fool of himself , but he’s so cute that vincent and bo can only tease him .

thomas hewitt . while this big country boy wouldn’t mind a ice cold beer , he doesn’t drink all that much . maybe once a month or so , sometimes once every two . and he rarely if ever gets drunk . he’s seen charlie / hoyt drunk too many times , and had too many run ins with drunk as fuck bastards when the slaughterhouse was still open . he doesn’t want to be like that , so he keeps himself to no more than two beers at one time . he doesn’t mind the taste of beer , and it really is more of a social “you earned this” type of deal for him .

the ones who would do both

jesse cromeans . this man drinks only the most expensive , oldest scotch , whisky , bourbon , and wine . he drinks casually , he drinks socially . but he does not drink to get drunk . no . he tries his best not to actually . which is surprising to most , as he was considered a bit of a play boy party boy back in his earlier rich boy days . but while he doesn’t get wasted on booze , he does enjoy getting high as fuck . he’ll only do it in the comfort of his own home . relaxing and smoking and watching old videos of his . might jerk off a little , might snuggle up to you . might pull you into his lap and laugh with you as you both watch stupid videos on the internet . one time you laughed at a picture of a blurry paper bag for two hours . jesse won’t leave the house until his high has completely worn off . he doesn’t wanna be caught off his guard .

billy loomis . he’s a bad boy . what can i say ? he’ll drink , he’ll smoke . as long as it’s with you and stu and he’s having fun ? who cares . billy is a messy drunk , getting naked and wanting to bite and kiss over you and stu , even if it doesn’t lead to anything else . it’s just too hot for clothes and he wants his babes close . he’s a munchie having , giggle gremlin when he’s high , however . while its more snickers than giggles he will almost laugh at anything , wanting to be the one cuddled and coddled while he eats chips and shakes with laughter .

stu macher . loud and handsy drunk , however if he drinks too much he gets a bit violent towards others . which is why you and billy know when to cut him off . when he’s just normal drunk , he’s wanting to touch and talk and talk and talk . he won’t know he’s being too loud , just spilling out words and nonsense for fun as he lays across whoever is closer . as a high boy , he’s almost completely quiet . he’ll just lay and stare and watch with his mouth open in awe . sometimes he’ll start giggling but then he’s back to dead eye staring . he’s also gonna be cuddling things that he thinks are you and billy but aren’t . like a pillow . or his cat .

the ones who would never do either

brahms heelshire . this man will only drink sparkling grape juice . he doesn’t have the pallet for booze and he doesn’t like the smell of weed . he has no issue with you drinking , as long as it’s fancy whine , chardonnay , etc . you have to be classy , like mummy and daddy were , if you drink . he might take a sip , but he’ll prefer his juice , thank you .

jason voorhees . he’s highly against all things booze and drug related . he literally kills people who show up on his land , he makes double work of them if they do either of those things . he’s a good boy , momma raised him right . if you do either , he’s conflicted and a bit upset . you’re his special person , you’re good , why are you doing bad things ? if you explain to him that it’s just a small glass with a meal during like , thanksgiving or christmas , he might relent . and if you tell him the weed is for pain and it’s legitimate , he will be less inclined to be upset with you . but still , he doesn’t like it .

bubba sawyer . bubba doesn’t like the way booze and beer make people act . he doesn’t wanna act like that . he got drunk once , and he hated it . it’s the same with weed . he has a strong sense of smell and his little nose hates the way weed smells . which is why he babbles at chop top to call him stinky . if you drink , he might be a bit skittish , thinking you’ll try and hurt him like so many others have . it’ll take a little bit of patience to calm him down , and tell him you’d never . he would like it if you didn’t drink , but if it’s only a little and you aren’t being mean he’s okay . as for the weed , he might pout because now you smell like chop top , but the way you giggle and act is cute . so he doesn’t hate it as much .

jacob goodnight . no . just no . hard no . no drugs . no booze . not you . not him . he just can’t . years of religious abuse have ingrained some roots that are too deep to pull out . and for jacob both of those things are a no .

martin ( 1977 ) . martin doesn’t do either . he already feels off as it is when he hasn’t fed recently . and he has no need for drugs or alcohol . why would he ? besides , he doesn’t want to make any mistakes while intoxicated or high . it’s just that simple . he’ll say no politely if offered . if you drink or smoke he might make a mild complaint about how you don’t need those things , about how it makes you taste off and he likes it when you taste like you . the only drugs you should have inside of you are the ones martin gives you to sleep .

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shes-fast-like-me · 4 years

Text

Day Seventeen: Home

TW: Discussion of drug addiction, sobriety, mental illness, relapse, abandonment issues and suicide. Mentions of vomit/nausea. Ask to tag!

Pairing: Established Lifetane (you know me :P)

this is decades late but i still wanted to post this even tho i didnt finish the challenge so. here ya go

If you like it, please reblog it!!!

=+=+=+=

He wakes up pretty late these days but it's okay. Ajay says it's probably better for him than his old schedule of going to bed at 5am just to wake up at 8am for a morning jog. Running on three hours of sleep his whole life wasn't healthy, according to her. Well, maybe he could see some truth in that.

Waking up to an empty, messy pink room was always nice. The blinds at the window did a poor job of masking the fact that it was almost noon and that Ajay had been awake for several hours already, starting the day without him.

He didn't feel like getting out of bed.

Maybe he was just tired or it was the anxiety eating him up from last night but he didn't want to stop sleeping. For the first time in decades, sleeping felt genuinely comforting to him and he'd hate to leave now and lose the comfort and warmth of their shared bed.

Or maybe it was withdrawals, making it hard for him to lift his head off the pillow and get up to put on his legs and start another day without his crutch. It was so damn hard to get through a day without at least one substance, but he was doing okay. Two weeks sober. A small victory but a victory nonetheless, Ajay had said. He wasn't really feeling like a winner right now though. This feeling sucked.

A twist in his stomach and a wetness in his mouth as he lifted his head confirmed his suspicions. Yep, definitely withdrawals. He knew he wasn't going to actually vomit though, but the thought still crossed his mind. He forced himself to stand up.

The world outside their bedroom was a lot brighter than the gloomy, sun-shielded bedroom. Honestly, Ajay should just leave the blinds open in the mornings despite the sun shining directly into Octavio's sleeping face. Maybe it'd wake him up in a happier mood.

"How yuh doin'?"

In the kitchen, Ajay stood over a pan of sizzling eggs, still in her pyjama shorts and in one of his many black t-shirts with some band's logo on it. His eyes definitely lingered on her frame before he crept towards her and wrapped his arms around her middle.

"Am fine." He mumbled into her shoulder and kissed the back of her neck. Honestly, his back kinda hurt from sleeping in his usual overly-contorted way but besides that and his withdrawal symptoms he was definitely better than he had been yesterday.

Ajay hummed, "Tha's good to hear."

Honestly he didn't wanna let her go but she needed to move in order to finish up their 'breakfast', if you could even call it that at this hour. It was nearly 2pm, he noted from glancing at the clock above her.

He leaned on the counter next to the stove and watched quietly as the eggs sizzled and spat oil around on the pan.

He wanted Stim, just for little bit, just to go for a short morning run, but he was tired. He couldn't mess up his two week sobriety streak now either. Plus, Ajay would be disappointed in him and that would hurt more than the actual drug use. He glanced at her face fearfully as if to check if she was reading his thoughts. Sometimes when he thought too loudly he was afraid others would hear him and realize what a fuck up he was. He didn't want Ajay to know he was struggling that bad.

"Whatcha thinkin' about? You're starin' at me." Ajay mused and smiled, plopping the eggs onto two plates with some bacon on the side.

Embarrassed, he dropped his gaze. "Nothin’.”

Ajay nodded for him to walk over to the table as she handed him his plate. They sat down together, Ajay bumping her pedicured feet up against where Octavio's stumps met his prosthetic legs under the table.

"Yuh father called this morning."

Octavio's blood suddenly ran cold and he winced. "What did he want?"

"Askin' about the holidays, thinks he's gettin' invited over," She picked at her food with her fork, "I told him to piss off."

A small smile crept onto his face at that. At least Ajay had his back.

"Mm, I dunno, nena. Weren't you gonna visit your Nana in Olympus before we go back to Talos for the next season?"

"Plans changed," she shrugged, "I'd rather stay with you here."

He furrowed a brow. "I could come with you, you know."

"There's no reason for us to go to Olympus again. This is our home now." She said firmly.

Home, huh? Her little apartment on Psamathe, in a small, rural area away from Olympus and the big cities...

Our home, she said. With Octavio included in it. Granted, he had lived with her for the past three months or so but he never thought of it as being permanent. Would she really let him live here with her?

"I can see the gears turnin' in your head, O. Did ya think I would just kick ya out after a while?" She joked and Octavio knew it was playful but... something about her wording really struck a nerve within him and before he could even realise and stop it, the tears were in his eyes.

What’s happening? Why was he so scared of her leaving? Why did he even consider this as a possibility?

"....Yeah." His voice wavered.

It felt like he was with his father and the world was crashing around him all over again. He could remember how mad his father was when he refused to let Octavio come back home, how he said he had had enough of dealing with his failure of a son, told him that he's an adult now and could just fend for himself now. He remembered ending up on Ajay's couch, and later in her bed, that first night and how terrified he was. Nausea clawed at his stomach. Everything was coming back to him so violently, it felt like he was back to being a scared, broken man at the doorstep of his father's home. Overwhelmed.

"O, it's alright, I didn't mean it like that." Ajay stood up and he could barely make out her silhouette through the blurriness in his eyes. He was shaking and when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he instinctively pulled her closer, almost as if holding on for his dear life.

He didn't want to be left alone again. Not by her. He couldn't deal with it. He wouldn't live through the loss. He'd have such a destructive breakdown, he'd lose his streak and kill himself in the process. He just knew it, he just knew he couldn’t survive without her. It’d kill him. It'd be a death sentence.

"I'm not leavin' ya. Ever. You hear me?" She rubbed his back as his tears sunk into her shoulder.

"I'm not leavin'. It's okay."

He nodded. He wanted to believe it, needed to.

"This is our home now, O. You're gonna be alright."

Octavio's whole body shook against hers as he struggled to breathe in, deeply, trying to calm himself down the way his therapist taught him to.

He forced himself to believe that she wouldn't lie to him. No, she had never lied to him before. She was the only person he could ever trust fully. She’d never lied to him and he need to remember that. She wouldn’t leave him.

He took a breath in between sobs.

This was their home now. These walls, the pastel pink walls in the bedroom, the cool wooden flooring, the small but cozy kitchen and living room. The clock on the wall, the stove, the couch, the seats, the table. They were shared.

This was their home, where they laughed and watched movies together on the couch, where they came home and unloaded all the groceries into the fridge, where Ajay held him and reaffirmed that she still loved him and that he was still a fighter, no matter how bad he felt, over and over again, until he believed her.

He believed her. He believed everything she said.

Ajay was what made this place feel like home, and he wouldn’t lose her, not this time.

#hi did someone order abandonment issues :) big serving coming right up #lifetane #octane apex #lifeline apex #apex legends

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motleyfuckingcruee · 5 years

Text

Rocket Queen

0.6: Late Night Conversations

Henley's P.O.V

It's about an hour later after me and Duff had the conversation in the bathroom. Duff ordered the Chinese food so now we're eating it and watching some stupid movie on TV. I sigh, looking at the clock. It's only one in the morning. Fuck, how am I gonna make it home before my parents notice I'm gone? There's only one obvious answer. I can't. Unless I know for a fact that Hyde won't rat me out for being a minor in a bar, I'm stuck here with the blonde I barely know.

And where the hell is Madeline?

"What's goin' through your head?" Duff asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

I look over at him, then back down at my container of sweet n' sour chicken. "How do you know I'm thinking anything? I could just be enjoying my food."

Duff laughs, setting his container on the coffee table. "You have to be thinking of something. I doubt you're just sitting there not having one thought. That's, like, impossible."

I sigh, laughing a bit. He had me there. "You got me." I set my container on the table as well, losing my appetite almost completely. "I-uh-was just thinking about how I'm going to get home before my parents notice that I'm missing. They'll go bonkers if I'm not in my bed in the morning."

"You could just call them and tell them Madeline had an emergency so the both of you went to her place."

I smile at him. He has this hopeful look in his eyes as if he really wants to help. God he's so adorable.

I mentally groan at that thought. I just met the dude! Get that shit out of your head.

"You came up with that pretty quick."

He smiles, puffing out his chest. "I am the king of excuses," He says proudly.

I giggle, rolling my eyes. Damn, I haven't laughed and smiled this much since before Tommy left. "I'll call you up next time I need help with that."

"So, you still live with your parents, huh?"

"What do you mean still? I am only sixteen, y'know?" Did he seriously forget I told him how old I was not even a few hours ago.

Duff's eyes widen. "There's no fucking way."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"I just mean, you act older. I would've thought you were at least eighteen," He explains, taking a swig from the beer that was sitting on the table.

I really hope that's a new one and not a bottle that has just been sitting there for days. It's obvious he doesn't clean often. I cringe watching him drink it.

"What?" He asks. He looks genuinely confused as to why I was looking at him like I am.

I almost laugh at his look. I, however, manage to keep a straight face. "Please tell me it's a new bottle."

Duff looks down at his drink, laughing as he fully processes my statement. "Oh my God, Henley. You're seriously worrying about how old my drink is?"

I shrug, looking down. I feel my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Duff's laughter dies down after I stay quiet for a while. I know it's stupid to feel embarrassed like I am, but I can't help it. I don't like it when people laugh at me.

"Henley," Duff says, his laughter still working it's way out of his system. I don't say anything. "Hey," Duff says, his voice quiet and soft. I look up at him, shocked at how his voice changed in a second. "Did I say something wrong?"

I feel my heart drop. He thinks he did something wrong. In reality, I'm just an oversensitive ass. It's amazing how my "Bad ass aura"-as Madeline would call it-disappears as soon as I'm alone with someone I'm comfortable with. I become overly sensitive with everything. I'm like that with Athena, Tommy, and Madeline. And now, apparently, Duff. Fuck, he's broken down the walls I put up within just a few hours. What the hell is wrong with me?

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I'm sorry. I'm just sensitive sometimes."

Duff's face is once again full of disbelief. Damn, do I really surprise him that much?

"What?" I ask, feeling shy with his eyes on me.

He just shrugs, shaking his head. "I just find it hard to believe that the Henley is sensitive. You're one badass chick."

I laugh at his use of the word 'chick'. "You say that as if I'm some notorious girl that has a reputation."

"You kinda do," Duff responds. I furrow my eyebrows. What the hell is that supposed to mean? "Anyways, you never answered my original question."

"Huh?" Then it clicks in my brain. I never did answer his question. Fuck, I don't remember what it was.

"Uhm, what was it again?"

"What were you thinking about before we started this odd conversation," Duff laughs.

"Oh, right," I respond, looking at the TV for a moment. I turn my head to Duff, feeling a smile spread onto my lips. He's so fucking cute. His smile is absolutely adorable. It's different than other people's. I can't really explain it. He's different than other guys I've met. Yes, he did try to kiss me, but he backed off as soon as I pushed him away. He didn't try anything else and he's kept his distance. "I was just thinking about Madeline. Will she be alright with Steven?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Duff answers, taking a swig from that same bottle. "She's a big girl. She can handle herself."

I sigh, leaning back against the couch cushions. "I know, it's just that she tends to not think things through. She gets herself into a shit ton of trouble all because she can't keep her mouth shut."

Duff laughs. "Sounds like someone else I know."

I blush, looking down at my lap. God, his laugh is like music to me. "I usually do a good job at shutting up. I was just a bit tipsy. If I get any amount of alcohol in my system, I can't shut up." The fight definitely sobered me up quick.

"Looks like I'll just have to keep my eye on you from now on," Duff says, nudging my thigh with his foot.

I laugh, looking back up at him. "You think we're still going to hang out after all this?"

"Of course we are. You're stuck with me now," Duff answers, giving me a heart melting smile. Fuck me, he's too good at making me feel.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I say, deciding to be a little flirty. What could it hurt?

Duff shakes his head, running a hand through his gorgeous blonde hair. "It can be sometimes."

"I can't see how. From what I've seen of you since I met you, you're one awesome person to be around. Steven seems pretty cool too," I say, grinning at him.

"Yeah he is, but I can be-."

He's cut off by a sharp knocking at the front door. Duff groans, reluctantly getting off of the couch. He walks over to the door, opening it with a certain amount of sass. I giggle at him as he places his hand on his hip, jutting his hip out like a girl would. He looks back at me and winks. He's such a dork.

All of a sudden a ball of blonde hair pushes past Duff, toting a smaller dark haired person behind him. I grin as Madeline nearly falls from how Steven is pulling her.

"Stevie slow down!" Madeline yells, looking disheveled.

I take it those two had one hell of a night.

Steven laughs, pulling her into his arms. He kisses the top of her head. She grins, wrapping her arms around his waist. I smile at them. They really like each other. I guess I will be seeing more of Duff after all since Madeline will probably be hanging around Steven a lot.

"Aren't you two just adorable," Duff teases, sitting down next to me again. He's closer to me this time.

Just scoot over a little bit more.

I shake my head, trying to clear that thought from my mind. I focus my attention on the new couple in front of me.

Steven flips Duff off, giving one of his signature Steven smiles. "We're heading to bed."

Madeline and Stevie walk down the hallway without another word. "Don't have too much fun, kids!" Duff yells at them.

He's answered with a door slamming.

I giggle. "So I take it you and Steven live together?"

Duff lets out a mock sad sigh. "Yeah. He's such a pain in the ass."

I shake my head, laughing slightly. I yawn, looking at the clock again. Two o'clock in the morning.

"You tired?" Duff asks.

I try to shake my head 'no', but then my body decides to let out another yawn.

"I'll take that as a yes," He laughs, standing up. "Come on."

I get up, walking behind him. I'm way too tired to argue. Duff leads me into a bare room. The most he has is more records and a mattress laying in the floor. Duff walks over to the dresser that I somehow didn't notice, and pulls out some boxers and a shirt. He hands it to me.

"Here," He says. "I'm sure you don't wanna sleep in those clothes."

I smile, looking down at my feet. "Thank you." I walk over to the bed. "Could you at least turn around?" I turn to see a blushing Duff.

"O-Oh, yeah, right," He says rather flustered. He turns around, his head bent down.

I giggle, then change as fast as I can. "Alright, I'm done."

Duff turns around, a smile on his face. "Okay, well, I'll be on the couch if you need me."

"What? No," I say. "This is your bed. I can sleep on the couch."

Duff rubs his eyes. "I'm too tired too argue. Can we just share the bed? If that's okay with you?"

I nod, already climbing under the covers. I turn to face the wall. I feel the bed dip beside me as Duff gets in.

"Goodnight, Henley," He says almost in a whisper.

"Night Duff."

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