#I'm also afraid it would be terrible since I don't have much writing experience

[iris-drawing-stuff]

The sillies!

I kinda want to try my hand at actually writing fanfiction about the Milgram Omori AU, but would anyone be interested in that?

#milgram #milgram fanart #mikoto kayano #haruka sakurai #milgram omori au #I'm also afraid it would be terrible since I don't have much writing experience #But everyone has to start somewhere right? #Also this is not ship btw #don't you dare tag this as ship #i will bite you #iris draws

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

you once said that the ZK do not allow the canonical Zuko to show real, sometimes ugly signs of trauma. can you write more about this? because that's what I always felt when I came across their terrible takes, but I couldn't express it.

Gladly! But first, I need to mention the sign of trauma that Zuko usually lacks - and that, for some reason, the fandom insists defines his character:

Fear

Don't get wrong, I'm not saying Zuko never experienced fear. We all saw that poor boy on his knees, crying, begging his father not to hurt him.

But in "Zuko Alone" we also see 10-year-old Zuko get bitter that only his younger sister was expected to show off her firebending skills, and deciding that he would go against his father and demonstrate his own skills to the Fire Lord - that despite the fact that he knew Azula was better at it than he was. Even when it goes wrong, he is upset, but doesn't look afraid of the consequences.

That same episode shows Azula mocking him for playing with knives despite not even being good at it, and even though the fandom insists she was his worst fear ever since he was a child, Zuko responds with a "Put an apple on your head and we'll see how good I am." That little guy has exactly zero chill.

Let's not forget why he was banished either: Despite being considered too young to be in that war meeting, Zuko demanded to be there, eventually got his way, and despite having been told not to say anything, the second he hears a general suggest using their own men as "fresh meat" to lure the enemy, Zuko speaks out against it. And at the start of the Agni Kai, he looked 100% ready to fight a grown ass man with battle experience - until he saw it was his father/Fire Lord.

Let's not forget his Agni Kai with Zhao, which was his idea and that he actually won - and before that, he openly calls Ozai a fool, to which Zhao points out that banishment clearly not teach Zuko to watch his mouth. Or the time he openly challenged Azula in Ba Sing Se and they only didn't fight then and there because Azula knew she'd have the advantage by using the Dai Li. Hell, at the start of that very season, after she tried to lure him to a trap, Zuko's first reaction is to charge at her, fire-daggers in hand. That boy is the definition of "Fuck around and find out."

He has also done things like choosing to save his uncle from earthbenders instead of chasing Aang, crossing a blockade and going into actual Fire Nation territory even though he legally is no longer allowed to do that, and helped rescue Aang from Zhao as the Blue Spirit. It shows us that Zuko doesn't have an issue with temporarely deviating from his mission because of something HE deems important even though his father doesn't, openly disregarding Ozai's orders, and even basically saying "My father will have the Avatar as a prisoner only if I'm the one to capture him"

And, of course, on the day of the eclipse, Zuko grabs his swords and directly threatens Ozai, telling that bastard to sit the fuck down, shut up, and listen to his list of reasons why he sucks as a parent, ruler and person.

Zuko is brave. Unbelievably so. He is fierce, proud, and impulsive to the point of getting himself in situations that he should have known would not go his way (like fighting a waterbender in the snow, in the full moon) because he is very much a "act first, think later" kind of guy. So the fandom's insistence that he is constantly paralyzed by fear is a gross over-simplification of how his trauma affects him.

We only see him genuinely afraid of Ozai twice. During the Agni Kai itself, and then again when he WANTS to speak out against his father's plan to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground, but can't bring himself to because he remembers what happened last time he spoke out against that kind of horrible thing during a war meeting, at that very room. It took something THAT triggering to make him cower before a challenge.

However, fear wasn't the only reason why didn't speak out during that moment, and that takes us to the first "ugly" sign of trauma that the fandom as a whole likes to pretend Zuko wasn't repeatedly shown to experience:

"My father is right about me, actually"

Zuko doesn't think Ozai was wrong to disfigure and banish him. How could he? Nobody in that entire room stood up to at least try to support him, not even his uncle - who also once said "Why would your father have banished you if he didn't care about you?" because, surprise surprise, nobody in that family knows how to help someone through trauma because they're all dealing with their own shit. Even his crew, who WAS sympathetic to him after finding out how he got that scar, were still 100% willing to not only support Ozai, but risk their lives for him.

Zuko isn't just trying to heal from abuse, he is trying to heal from victim-blaming, and to go against YEARS of indoctrination that say the Fire Lord can do no wrong. That's part of why it was so difficult for Iroh and others to help him: Zuko didn't believe that he needed or deserved help.

And that is also one of his three major unhealthy coping mechanisms. Claiming that HE needs to prove himself to Ozai, that HE needs to make up for HIS mistakes, not the other way around.

It might seem strange that this could be a way to cope, but look at it this way: If it WAS his fault instead of Ozai's, then that means his dad is not an unfair, abusive piece of shit that is unbelievably cruel and impossible to please. Zuko just needs to accomplish this mission of capturing the Avatar and everything will be fine, they'll be a normal family again, and he won't have to be afraid of someone he thought he could trust.

It was like Iroh said: Things are never going to be the same ever agin, but the Avatar gives Zuko HOPE. And that hope that his abuser will one day have a change of heart and be a loving father to him again is both what allows Zuko not to give into despair - and what keeps him trapped in that awful situation.

Misplaced Anger

Another "unpleasant" sign of trauma that Zuko has is how he clearly has an anger problem. Sure, he's a moody teenager with a short fuse, but we see over and over again that he tends to blow things way out of proportion, and that when faced a fact or opinion he doesn't like, he is quick to lash out at someone with VERY cruel words (see him calling Iroh a lazy, shallow, jealous old man in "Avatar State", or calling him crazy and saying if he wasn't in prison, he'd be sleeping in a gutter in "The Headband").

Through the entire show, many people faced Zuko's wrath - Iroh, Aang and friends, his crew, Azula, innocent people of the Earth Kingdom, Mai, Ty Lee, that one rando that talked to Mai, and even Zuko himself.

The one person that usually escapes said wrath is, ironically, Ozai. In "Zuko Alone" he refuses to believe his father would ever be capable of harming him, in "Avatar State" he snaps at Iroh for doubting that Ozai really changed his mind about the whole banishment thing.

He is mad at Aang for being too difficult to capture, and at Zhao for stealing his one chance to come home. He never stops to question if it's fair that his father had him chase someone that was presumed dead, aka an impossible task, as the condition to bring him home. He also never addresses how he feels about the reason WHY said banishment happened until the Day Of Black Sun.

He is mad at Azula for lying to him and trying to take him home as a prisoner. He never gets mad at his father for not only wanting to lock him away forever because ZHAO screwed up at the North Pole, nor how messed up it was that he put Azula in charge of said mission.

For fuck's sake, in the day of the eclipse, we find out that Zuko legit believed his mother was DEAD - and the entire circumstance was shady as hell and put Ozai in a very bad light. Yet Zuko still wanted his love, still wanted to be a "worthy" son.

He HAS to direct his anger at other people, otherwise he'll realize that no, his father, the adult that was meant to care for him, is a complete monster.

Everytime Zuko lashes out at other people before confronting Ozai, he's basically acting like someone who is drowning and, in a panic, is trying to pull the nearest person under so he can try to breathe. It is one of the most accurate and honest representations of trauma and abuse, and it makes me SO mad when people erase it in their fics because "poor, innocent, helpless turtleduck that can do no wrong" makes Zuko look like less of a dick - and also completely strips him of his agency.

And that isn't even the thing that fans ignore the most. That "honor" goes to the simple fact that Zuko, as expected of a child raised to believe the Fire Lord can do no wrong, decided that Azula had the right idea and that the best way to avoid being a victim again was...

Copying His Abuser

Zuko has REPEATEDLY let his "inner Ozai" out through the show.

He is all manipulative by not letting the pirates know he was chasing the Avatar who was worth A LOT more than the scrowl they'd get as a reward for helping him, and by using Katara's necklace as a way to try and get her to say where Aang was.

He repeatedly steals stuff from innocent people (including some who helped him, like Song) because, in his own words "These people should just be giving stuff to us" - aka he's very much an entitled prince.

He betrays his uncle by joining Azula in Ba Sing Se, leading to Iroh being thrown in prison. He also doesn't give a shit when Katara says "I thought you had changed!" and he sends a freaking assassin after the Gaang. Even him refusing to tell Azula that there was a chance Aang could still be alive works both as a "Zuko doesn't trust Azula to not use that against him, and for good reason" and "Zuko did not even stop to think that, since Azula was the one who killed Aang, him coming back also puts HER in danger, because he's too focused on his own problems to notice anybody else's."

More importantly, he rejected a chance of a ceasefire with the Gaang three times (The Blue Spirit, The Chase, Crossroads of Destiny), much like Ozai refused his shot at ending the war in the finale before his battle with Aang, and not only did he challenge Zhao to an Agni Kai and seriously consider burning him, he also threatened one of his crewmen by saying he'd "teach him respect" - which we found out later that episode was what Ozai right before disfiguring poor Zuko.

For fuck's sake, Ozai was literally designed to look like an older Zuko. One without a scar, one that was never banished, one that never had to see first-hand all the death and suffering war brings and reflect on the role he plays in it.

Finally, we have the war meetings in "Nightmares And Daydreams", in which Zuko doesn't speak out against his father's completely inhumane plans to deal with the Earth Kingdom. When talking about it with Mai, he says "I was the perfect prince, the son my father wanted. But I wasn't me."

That is the turning point for Zuko for a reason. It's him finally being forced to acknowledge that, to become Ozai's ideal son, to earn his (conditional) love, to not be his victim he has to be just as bad as he is, just as cruel, just as unfair - and we see in Azula's breakdown how Zuko likely would have ended up if he accepted that path.

But he didn't, and that was not easy because even though it was the morally correct choice, it'd require him to sacrifice everything - his title as a prince, his right to be in the Fire Nation, his relationship with Mai, his (extremelly complicated, sometimes good, often awful) bond with Azula, the "easy" way to get literally anything he wanted at everyone else's expense, and, of course, accept that his father was never going to love him, was never going to change, and was never going to feel sorry for abusing him.

Erasing such a central conflict of his character for the sake of denying he ever did anything wrong is, ironically, removing one of Zuko's most noble character traits: his inability to just live with himself after doing something horrible. There's a reason he is in deep conflict even after getting everything he wanted after the fall of Ba Sing Se - he knows he doesn't deserve it after what he's done.

If you ignore his mistakes and the horrible consequences it had for other people, you also ignore Zuko's growth. This puts him more in the position of a good guy being held hostage by the evil villain, not of a troubled child that redeems himself as he matures.

No flaws, no mistakes, no growth, no arc.

Trauma Doesn't Just Go Away

This one is, by far, the bad trope regarding Zuko's trauma that Zutarians are the most guilt of: assuming that if he just gets enough comforting hugs (mainly from Katara), all of his inner turmoil will suddenly be healed. No more sadness, no more fear, no more of the ugly traits they never acknowledge in the first place. Just a happy, fully recovered Zuko.

But that's just not how these things work. Having the support of a loved one helps victims feel better, but it won't magically make everything okay. Trauma is a really difficult thing to handle. There's good days, bad days, relapses, bad habits that are difficult to move past from. And not only are there cases in which people take YEARS to recover, there are also cases in which they never fully heal, and instead just learn to live with that burden that is still very much present.

I understand the desire to show in fics and headcanons that Zuko will eventually be fully healed and happy, but the way Zutarians make Katara act as not just his girlfriend, but as basically his therapist that needs to find miracle solutions for every single one of his problems, comfort him whenever any minor inconvenience happens until he's gotten enough hugs to be magically okay doesn't just reveal how hypocritical they are, since they insist Kataang is about Katara being Aang's girlfriend/mom/baby-sitter, but also that they legit do not understand a damn thing about trauma and how it works.

Which takes me to:

How Mai Actually Did Right By Zuko

Poor, poor Mai. She gets blamed for "bring out the worst in Zuko", for not being "supportive", for being too cold and unemotional, for not "seeing the real him" - yet she's one of the characters that CONSISTENLY help put Zuko back on his track.

She offers him emotional support and lots of signs of affection over and over again - telling him not worry when they're arriving at the Fire Nation, pointing out she doesn't hate him when she says she's beautiful when she hates the world, explicitly saying she cares about him in The Beach, being incredibly sweet and loving to him during all of Nightmares and Daydreams, and then again in the finale by helping him get dressed up and acting all cute as they get back together.

But she also holds him accountable when he screws up. She doesn't let him use his difficult life as an excuse to be a jerk and calls him out when he's being unreasonable, or when she feels mistreated/like he's making a mistake (see The Beach and Boiling Rock Part 2).

But since the fandom loves to completely erase Zuko's mistakes AND to not let go of a stupid ship war, this completely changes the context, making Mai out to be this awful, bitchy girlfriend, when in reality, she did a great job handling Zuko - sometimes even better than the fan favorite and mentor figure Zuko had through most of his arc.

Uncle Iroh Fucked Up

Before all of you try to kill me, let me make one thing clear here: I love Uncle Iroh. He is one of the most awesome characters in the show, and I fully believe he was trying his best to help Zuko.

But he is still a human being that makes mistakes, and he was raised in the same dysfunctional family Zuko was, meaning he often had NO IDEA how to handle his deeply traumatized teenage nephew/son.

Him spending all of book 1 trying to help Zuko capture Aang so he could go back to living with the guy that disfigured him is already bad enough, but we also have the episode "Avatar State" in which Iroh asks "Why would your father banish you if he didn't care about you?"

Obviously he only did these things because he didn't want Zuko give into despair and depression - but he is still, at best, ignoring the issue, and at worst actively making excuses for Ozai's abuse of his own son. This backfires on him spectacularly, as Zuko sides with Azula over him both in the first and last episode of the season specifically because he believes that appeasing Ozai is the right thing to do, as he was only banished "for his own good."

But THE biggest mistake Iroh made when it came to helping Zuko was his refusal to accept that no, Zuko was never going to be happy by living a quiet, simple life in Ba Sing Se - even after Zuko explicitly said as much to his face.

Obviously, to some extent, Iroh HAS to make Zuko accept that he won't ever be able to come back home after Ozai literally ordered Azula to capture him, but he could have tried to find some kind of middle ground with Zuko, since being a waiter clearly wasn't making him happy.

"Oh, but what about how Zuko started acting after his metamorphosis? He was so happy about working on the tea-shop with his uncle, and that was supposed to reveal his true self!"

Yes, it was supposed to do that. But we saw how Zuko acted after actually dealing with his trauma and redeeming himself. He was obviously in a much healthier place, both mentally and spiritually, but he was still moody, still sarcastic, still as proud as ever, and even Iroh recognized that he was meant to be Fire Lord.

Zuko's arc has a lot to do with identity, with how he sees himself. At that point, the only thing he still had in life was his uncle - so he was acting like him, because there seemed to be no other role model, no other path. Seeing that weird, cheery, relaxed, always-seeing-the-good-side-of-things version of Zuko was honestly unnerving.

And Iroh thought that Zuko basically giving himself the Lake Laogai treatment was okay because he following in his footsteps, doing what helped IROH heal and change - he didn't realize it was never gonna be able to do the same for Zuko.

The very second Azula shows up, even when she's being hostile, Zuko drops the facade, because she's a reminder of both his old life and what he thought his future would be. And when she offers him "redemption" Iroh tried to advice Zuko against joining her by saying "The redemption she offers is not for you" (as in not for someone who is doing better and doesn't need to return to the Fire Nation) and "It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good." How is it a choice if Iroh is explicitly saying which option Zuko cannot pick, essentially making the decision for him?

Iroh didn't just get the way to help Zuko wrong - he didn't realize his nephew didn't believe he needed help. They were not on the same page at all, and that contribuited to Zuko betraying him.

Though, thankfully, it ended up being for the best, as Zuko found his own way to redemption by himself.

Conclusion

This fandom as a whole tends to not understand Zuko at all and just eat up a bunch of fanon while pretending to be so intellectual, which I very much resent it for.

#anti zutara #pro maiko #pro mai #zuko is not an awkward turtleduck

[laf-outloud]

Hi,

Here is the European Anon (or Troll as I am called at the moment). I would like to clarify a few things. I am a fan. Of the show, of the characters, of the two J's. That's the reason why the info about the contract could hurt me so much in the first place. Because this time it affected me myself. I've worked with stars who showed up to work (con) drunk. Who spent more time on Grindr than signing autographs. Who treated their Händlers like crap, while up front they were the loving, attentive star. You learn two things quickly in the businees. The manager is always right, and the star is never the bad guy. We had two guests from an equally famous CW show. The managers had agreed to a duo shoot. The problem was that they hated each other. In the sense of, we had to separate the two spatially, because otherwise it would have come to fisticuffs. The managers of both parties tried everything to make the duo shoot possible somehow and while one star finally agreed to get it over with "professionally", the other remained stubborn. The end? The duo was canceled with the reason "unforeseen scheduling difficulties" Well, sounds familiar? (No it's not Vampire Diaries, Paul and Ian are really like brothers, lol).

What you also learn very quickly. The fans forgive everything and the star is perfect in their eyes. No matter whether stars were bad-tempered, bitchy or sometimes even downright unfriendly, the fans always found an excuse for them, or in the end made us organizers responsible for it. Well, we can live with that, as long as people still pay for their tickets. At the end of the day it is a business.

Why am I writing this? So far it has never really affected me. For me, most of them are just people like you and me and I could deal with most of the stars in a really friendly or business way. But I've been a fan of Supernatural since the beginning. And then such an info is no longer professional but hurts.

I want to make it very clear that no SPN star I have ever dealt with has been unprofessional or unfriendly. Even though Misha's manager is a terrible woman, he himself was always polite to us as employees. And even from colleagues who have worked with J2 so far, there has never been a negative word.

That is why I was so looking forward to working with them. To be able to experience this famous friendship directly.

I am not so high in the hirachie that I get to read a direct correspondence of the management. I also can't say which Con I work for without risking my job. I know it's easier to make me out to be a liar than to accept that I might be right. I realize that and I can even understand that.

I've been sitting on this information for weeks, but who am I going to tell? Who believes me? I've talked to two close friends about it who are also fans and they didn't believe it either.

The trigger was the first reports from Charlotte. I have friends who are on site and yes, probably their euphoria and two glasses of wine on my part made me write to two people. Patrick (TFW) and LOL Jackles . Who I have found through Tumblr several times to be relatively fair and interested in facts. But there was no response. I was honestly taken aback by this, because even if they won‘t believe me, why not share the info anyway? Or at least respond to it? If there is nothing to what I say, then it could be quickly invalidated or? Unless the two know exactly that I'm right and are afraid of when it comes out.

I have written to you days later. you can look it up. I read post that you and others wondered why jared and jensen only come to different cons. That's why I thought, okay I'll send it again. I found your explanation of not posting it understandable and at least you didn't immediately ignore it. Thanks for that. that's also why I'm replying exclusively to you.

Again, I understand if you don't believe me. After all, I didn't want to believe my boss either. I thought he was just not willing to pay the 300 K (And that's what they cost each).

But now exactly what he said happens.

If I am telling the untruth, then why is Jared actually appearing at the same promoters (Monopoy Events, Entertainment Events Etc) on a different date than Jensen and always including Gen? And look at the line up of the English cons and tell me that you could not have paid Jared‘s fee to run various duo shots! If I'm lying, why is Creation now releasing the second convention for 2024 with only Jensen as headliner but not with Jared? It can't be the money, because Creation takes the same amount for the tickets as usual. And schedule difficulties during an official strike ? Hardly. You can call me a troll, but I am a fan as well, I know that you want to believe until the end that everything is good. But I just think the fans have at least a right to hear the truth. And that is that Jared's management will get away from creation cons in the future and will favor cons that Jensen doesn't attend.

Thank you for writing in, again. I'm sorry that because of the multiple asks, you've been classified as a troll. I've been on Tumblr long enough that I've seen multiple copy/paste asks and they most often are a troll, but I can see your reasoning. (I will say that TFW2.0 is a fan of Jensen first, so anything that could put him in a negative light will be summarily dismissed.)

I decided to post this response since your original ask seems to have been seen by multiple other people despite not being posted and I'll allow people to make up their own minds about what they want to believe.

I will say that Jared's absence from the con in July could be due to other reasons, like his standard summer vacation or birthday stuff, and June could be because he anticipates that they might be filming Walker into the summer, depending on how long the strike lasts.

When it comes to doing cons with or without Jensen, I know my initial response was regarding Jared's mental health, but it could also be a strategic business decision. Jared may want to distance himself from SPN (and Jensen) to open up other acting/producing opportunities. It's not always advantageous to just be known as "one of those guys from SPN." He's said before that he enjoys producing and I'm sure he knows Walker isn't going to last forever. An actor/producer's career shouldn't be defined by one role. He may also be promoting Gen to help increase her profile if they plan on producing together in the future. I'm sure there are some who, if they believe it's true, will take it personally, but it really may just be a business decision.

Either way, thank you for sharing. And if there are people who agree/disagree and decide to write to me with their rebuttals, please remember to do so respectfully. I won't post anything with accusatory language, insults, or outright dismissals.

#ask box #european anon #convention discussions #tfw2.0 critical #jensen critical #just in case #jared and gen convention appearances

[aphrodieties]

https://www.tumblr.com/aphrodieties/733813072220864512/hi-sorry-to-bother-you-but-im-having-some

Hi sweetie! I’m the anon from the question I linked above. Thank you so much for your answer! Please don’t be sorry for replying late, it should be me who appreciate your time and patience!

I’m sorry I didn’t get back earlier, I was so overwhelmed with the school and application stuff, and I also wanted to really understand and experience what you’ve said in that post.

I kinda get it now. I only need to fulfill myself with the feeling of academic success, and that’s all. I tried to fully live in imagination but I kinda cannot get over the need to revise the transcript physically. I’m afraid this transcript will follow me forever physically. Ever since I got my transcript, I refused to believe it’s actually happening to me, because it’s really terrifying, I may end up getting kicked out of school or no graduate school would accept me…I even haven’t told my parents about the grade thing, so whenever they asked me for the transcript I couldn’t give them, but I can’t fool them forever, that’s why I was so desperately to change my transcript physically.

I’m sorry if this sounds like trauma dumping. I didn’t intend to be this negative at the beginning, I got more and more anxious when I’m writing this. Please ignore me if you find it too negative sweetie, you don’t have the responsibility to answer this!

You are human and you have emotions—it’s completely fine to feel afraid. I get where you're coming from, and you're not trauma-dumping either. There are a few things that you must know; you are completely right to refuse to believe what's happening to you. You’ve got the hardest part down! Do not accept that which you do not want, and you do not want a terrible transcript so you're not gonna accept this one as written in stone. The next steps would be as follows; 3D indifference, taking care of business, and maintaining the state of the wish fulfilled.

I have said this in a previous ask and I feel a bit lazy about recycling responses but I cannot stress this enough; The 3D is not sentient. It has no meaning other than the meaning that you attach to it. Think about the meaning that you're currently attaching to the 3D right now—the meaning that you're attaching to this transcript, “This transcript will follow me forever physically,” “They’ll kick me out of school,” “No graduate school is going to accept me because of my transcript,” these are the meanings that you're currently attaching to the 3D. @etherealkissed88 has an amazing guide about practicing indifference. I've linked it here and I recommend that you read it.

I have mentioned this before too but you don't need to neglect the 3D. Tending to the 3D is not a betrayal of the Law of Assumption, and as long as you aren't attaching any meaning to what you do then you'll be fine. For example; I’m manifesting that I’m a billionaire, and I currently work a minimum-wage job, and I’m working-class. I still work long shifts, and I still pay my bills though I'm manifesting that I'm a billionaire. Why? Because it means nothing. Keeping my bills paid and working isn't a contradiction as long as that's all it is to me. If I attached any further meaning to working long shifts and paying my bills such as, "See! You're not a billionaire,” “You’re still struggling to make ends meet so you're not a billionaire,” etc…, then that would be a betrayal of my imagination and the Law Of Assumption—it would be contradictory to my state too! So, handle your business and do whatever you need to do to take care of the situation with your parents and transcript but don't attach any meaning to it.

The last thing I'm gonna say is—persist, continue to persist in the state of the wish-fulfilled. Persistence pays off, and maintaining the wish-fulfilled pays off. The 3D will reflect as long as you continue to do these things. Please, continue to maintain the wish-fulfilled.

#aphrodieties #law of assumption #manifesation

[i-am-beckyu]

Anon with the mer prompt here (different person from the sizeshifter instincts one btws) (i guess you can call me ^_^)-

Hope you feel better and that you have the time and energy and right vibes for writing soon <3<3

That poor human would have their mind blown if their friend (I'm also imagining roommate) turned out to be a mer, and then doubly blown when they find out about the borrower. rip to them bc they'd prbly have to cover for all the trouble and shenanigans caused by the other two

but then imagine the borrower goes out the ocean with the mer and their nervous abt it at first for so many different reasons but they trust their friends and they go out on a boat and see the ocean and just stop. bc it's hard to properly comprehend that makes even humans feel small then they look down and see their mer friend happily swimming in the water

all of the other mers would prbly go to the boat and assume that the borrower was a human pup or something

also just curious, do you like the qsmp? there's so much potential for g/t stuff within it but almost nothing abt it

- ^_^

Hello ^_^ !!! Nice to have a name to anon :3 How are you?

Sorry to take so long to get to this but my brain has been fried the last few days being unwell. Literally still sick but I went to work today (This is probably a terrible thing since we've been busy all morning but money >)

Absolutely the humans mind would be blown. I mean this person you've been living with for how long can sprout flippers? Like what!? And then you've just had a tiny stalker watching you and living off you to survive? *Faints* (or maybe not idk that sounds funny to me lol)

But the borrower going to the ocean would be so good because first of all I don't think many borrowers actually know or realise how big the ocean actually is. Like it's huge! Unless a borrower actually learnt enough info about the ocean and how it works, I think a borrower would just imagine an ocean to be a slightly bigger lake.

So for a borrower to see this massive body of water that stretches beyond the horizon and know how dangerous it is would be a terrifying experience and I think it would take a lot of coaxing from the human friend and mer to convince them to even get close to the water considering borrowers (at least I think so) wouldn't typically know how to swim. The mer friend could change that of course but I can def imagine the borrower just clingy to their mer or human friend in the water afraid of being swept away. (I also think if giant mers appeared the borrower would just hide because-my gosh there are giants bigger than humans?!?!? *also faints*)

The giant mers would def wanna see the miniscule human but like the human friend I think would be protective of the borrower but also realise what it feels like to be the borrower and tiny mer when meeting the mers in their ginat form because it would be their first understanding of what its like to be in their position. So nerves would 1000% be there.

And then of course you have the tiny mer oblivious to how terrified their friends are, just more happy to be in the ocean with both parts of their family in the same place :3

And I know bits and pieces of the qsmp but I don't really keep up with the storyline all that much. I did for a bit (Chayanne and Tallulah my beloveds) but I think that's just more of cause I enjoy Wilburs part on the smp. But I have a close friend that often updates me about major events that happen lol. So I don't mind if you wanna ramble about it but chances are I'll be lost on plot and a majority of characters and their roles 🙃

Thanks for sharing ^_^ anon!!!! much love and have some lollipops :3

🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

#^_^ my beloved #beckyu answers #gt #g/t #gt writing #g/t writing

[satans-codpiece]

Listen man, your writings feel like early comings of Christmas, I gotta do something in return, however small. Still shy af hence anon ask but hey, better than nothing ;-D

Oooooh, NOICE, looking forward to that prequel, whenever (or if?) it comes out 👀 (also my dumbass forgot to mention last time, Ram being flustered about his own dick in EY was adorable I can't-) YEEEES OH MY GOD EXACTLY- More or less everything he's had to endure all boils down to his specific model, so no wonder he was afraid of accidents... now though? Not like he has much else to loose, 99.9% of R-7000s are already gone and his own reputation is beyond repair anyway so what does the opinion of other people matter? He CAN still hurt reader which sucks by itself but he's willing to put up with his fear and I just, I'm done dude who designed this fucking character-

LMAO I defaulted to hanahaki as I assumed the whole unrequited-but-actually-requited-love thing with maybe a dash of a near death experience is an easy gateway for all the piv you could possibly want... Never mind me then, sounds like you had other plans XD And speaking of.... what do the good people of Tumblr have to do to motivate you to finish those last 4 paragraphs and hand it over? 👀 Don't care it ain't smutty I have a Need. Want another questionable anon link to horny Ram art for the motivation or something? wink wink...

PFFFFFFT Yes please, the more employees openly thirsting after Ramattra the higher the chances of new lore??? Maybe???? PLEASE??? WHEN IS THE NEW SET OF PVE MISSIONS COMING OUT I NEED MORE- ... Okay why are these asks so long, AAAAAAaaaaa- I'm sorry for being distracting >.<

fdsf re: Ramattra's dick, I mean!!! Imagine how absurd it is, you kidnap your ex and in HOPES that they'll love you again you BUILD a sex toy for them??? He's so embarrassed about his own neediness honestly.

Yes exactly! When he was bearing the weight of being a peace-advocating member of the Shambali, accidentally hurting anyone would've been such a nightmare for him. It only matters now in that he doesn't want to hurt you, the repercussions on which Reader has pretty outright stated are none since they understand that accidents happen.

Hahaha, honestly I think the reason I didn't finish it was because someone had proposed the original EY prompt in my askbox and that kind of set off a chain of events that meant EVERYTHING got tabled until EY was finished.

BUT I MEAN OH NOOOOO how could I ever continue working on Ramattra fics without the appropriate horny art???? whatever will I do????? *languishes at my keyboard*

GOD I KNOWWWW I hate so, so much that they've backburnered their actual storyline stuff :( Like, I got into OW because of the cool universe and characters, not because it's a FPS or has active esports, you know? So I've been waiting on story stuff for years and then they just had to go and make the BBEG so fucking hot and then only put out THREE FUCKING MISSIONS FKJDGJDKLSG

Supposedly I know the original timeline said new missions would be out "in 2024" so. hey. brightside, yknow?

And you're not distracting at all!!! I'm a terrible writer who thrives only on external motivation so shit like this keeps me active LMAO

#kat answers

[hislittleraincloud]

I just wanted to contribute to your recent ask, if that's okay and I will be hiding behind an anonymous face, so apologies in advance but I'm anxious about backlash from others since I'm active in the fandom and I may piss some people off.

I agree with your statements about the incorrect use of nicknames toward whichever partner Wednesday is paired up with, it makes me cringe so much, especially with the 'Cara Mia' because like you, I cannot see Ortega's Wednesday using the same pet names that her parents use. Some people go ridiculously overboard with it, and I really enjoyed your breakdown over the incorrect use of the French pet names. Wednesday despises the sappy love between her parents, I highly doubt she would mimic that.

I've seen your posts pop up occasionally, I like some of the art you share, and I did try reading your story out of curiosity. But it did make me uncomfortable with the underage stuff due to past experiences, and that is okay for me to admit and doesn't mean you're a bad person for writing it. It's a fanfiction ffs, the same people upset about your pairing are probably having wet dreams over Wednesday murdering people or some other illegal shit 🤷‍♀️

I have respect for you as a person and writer, and how you've brought awareness to the transphobic nature of some fics, we don't need that in this fandom.

Nothing better to offset anon hate than anon respect. 💖✨

It's always okay to drop anything in my inbox if you're afraid of backlash due to popular shipping, but "YOU PERVERT, IT'S R#PE!!!" judgement should not be faceless. 🥹

It's also always okay to give reason to why any fic or pairing is something you avoid due to trauma, and you shouldn't have to say that aloud. At least, you don't to me. I sincerely hope that my post didn't come across as "U MUST READ MY SHIT NO MATTER WHAT BEFORE YOU JUDGE IT" to those (like you) who have terrible trauma surrounding the subject/content. If you have such trauma, then my tags should've been a warning, and I completely understand why you would not want to read it.

Hm, I'm also agreeing w the whole subject matter in general thing. I've seen a few fics where Wednesday is r#ped and/or tortured (usually by Tyler or Gatesmonster), but apparently others do, so whatever. 🤷🏽‍♂️ I can't impose on others my severe judgement on what gets others off (in terms of fiction and fictional characters), I can only say that Wednesday suffers enough mentally on a daily basis that I hate adding to that, or seeing it. N/C Wednesday is still precious to me, no matter how tempting it can be to smack her around a bit/knock her off her high horse (I was pleased though, when in canon she got her brow nicked...she hadn't had any reason to attack Bianca before then, aside from her calling her a psychopath (as if not everyone in the school already thought she was)...she was being a narc little asshole during the fencing scene).

As for the rest of it, I really didn't say anywhere that Wednesday shouldn't come up with any cute pet names for Enid, even suggesting that she could be creative enough to make her own compound words like "my little lupinette" (to me, something like that would make her bond with Enid much more tailored to whatever Enid brought out within her while distancing herself from becoming Mommie Dearest enough). Borrowing directly from them just... 💀 AB Wednesday is currently even more formal and uptight than any Wenclair Wends but is slowly learning, and in one upcoming scene she calls Donovan "Jim". My readers will see why (🤣🤣🤣).

Aside from crafting this Satisfying Universe, I had to sit and watch malignant psychopaths destroy the hopes and dreams of my fellow 🏳️‍⚧️ people in Tennessee, Florida, Texas, Missouri, etc. this spring and throughout the summer, so I'm especially peeved when I see anything that could be construed as trans exclusionary in here. I lost the Potter fandom to it in 2020 when JKR came out full TERF, even though we all kind of suspected it before. We never, ever had "Draco Malfoy x AFAB reader" or "Hermione Granger x AMAB reader" labeled fics. We didn't care what you were born with, genital-wise. Fiction is and will forever be an escape, so let's try to keep it that way. 🫠✨

Anyway, thanks for the message. I'm only sad that you feel like you need to hide, or that anyone feels like they need to hide. I understand it though.

#anon respect #anon response #wednesday #wednesday addams #writing wednesday #satisfying afterburn

[littlesoyya]

I hardly ever post anything here (or even be around anymore), but this feels like the safest platform to share what I want to at the moment, there's not a lot of mutuals of mine in here so I guess it's because of that.

So I noticed today something about myself, it's something I've known for a long while but now was kinda the first time I was ready to accept that I'm feeling the way I am and I want to work on it.

For the longest of times I've felt jealousy of sorts towards the people who are able to make art that they want, especially writing heavy, not so acceptable stuff. It's not that I'm not excited, happy and proud of them, I just want to be able to do the same. Writing has been always something I've used to cope with life around me and sometimes I've wanted to write something terrible. But I can't.

When I start to write down what's on my mind, I kind of freeze - "I can't say that" or "No this is wrong, I can't write about it", "It's too heavy" even. And I self censor until I'm unhappy but satisfied with the results. I automatically make my silly little writing into something that's easy for others to consume, even if it's something just for me.

But yesterday, when I was writing I noticed that something is different. I mean yeah, I'm having COVID at the moment and my head feels like it's in a fog all the time. That's not it. I've been working on this story, that's been a guilty pleasure of mine since I was a little kid and I started daydreaming every occasion I can. The thing is, this is something that's never supposed to see the daylight. It's entirely for me to release some steam and have fun.

So yesterday, I told my friend that I feel like my writing is horrible, because of the way I feel while being sick. He was like he usually is and said that he doesn't believe me and if I wanted to prove him wrong I would need to show him what I've been writing. Which in itself is something I've had to learn to accept as he's one of the very first friends to say that in every occasion I try to berate myself, and he genuinely is just interested in what I do.

And there I was, contemplating my options; 1) Do I really want him to see this text? 2) Am I able to show it to him? 3) What if?

It felt super scary to take the screenshot and press copy while I fought with myself wether or not I have the courage to show him. Not to blame anyone or anything like that, I've just grown up in an environment where other people were not interested of the things I found important, or they mostly disappointed me with their reactions - like first they ask and then they go and say that it's too long, or boring or that I didn't need to go in such details, or something like that. Bad experiences.

And well, I thought f**k it, and sent the screenshot to him. Not waiting for his reply but got up and went to get myself something to drink and eat. And when I came back there wasn't anything horrible waiting for me. He was being encouraging and thankful as he always is when I show him what I've made. Do I know if he genuinely thinks that way? No. Do I know if he lies that I would feel better? No. Does it really matter? No.

What matters is that he sees that I'm enjoying myself. He sees that this is a thing that's really important to me. He knows how afraid I am to show my art/writing/interests to him. And he genuinely wants to support me. He's never said that this is too heavy, or that I'm to much. What he do say is that "wow, that was dark, but it's okay, it's good". And he tells me what he liked about it. This friendship has been helping me so much to grow lately!

And the thing I want to change is that self censorship, that I let have the control over myself. The amount of negative encounters with people yesterday, is now a thing that prevents me to get positive encounters tomorrow. It's still possible that there will be people who don't like my work, but there's also people who will like it, and who will never be able to read my stories because I don't share them. And even if I share my stories just for myself, I don't want it to be shadowed with fear.

So I want to work on myself, to stop the censorship and write more openly the first draft. I can always edit it, if it later feels wrong, but the first draft that is entirely for myself to see, why can't I just have some fun and let out everything that comes to mind, without first thinking how would others feel.

Phew, this was longer that I expected. Thank you if you made it to this far! I have no big conclusion nor anything like that for you, this was just a way for me to let out some thoughts, while I also thought that my struggle might be important to someone else to see. Being creative is hard, and sometimes we forget that. Take care! Xoxo

#writer problems #writer things #writing #ramblings #my thoughts #self growth #self therapy

[occasionallykettle]

if you lost hope in byler after vol. 2, just spend 10 minutes on the tag #byler proof. that alone will restore your faith in byler.

also, consider how much more impactful byler would be in season 5 compared to season 4. if it is an endgame couple, we would want as much build-up as we can so that some of the toxic milkvan shippers can't go after the duffer brothers about byler being rushed. at this point, milkvan shippers can't even complain about byler having 0 build-up or it not making any sense, since we are lucky enough to have 4 seasons of build-up to it.

if you want more evidence, then i want you to know that the duffer brothers want will to be the centre of season 5, and how terrible would the viewing experience would be if we had to see will sulking and being miserable all the time.

the duffer brothers are incredibly intelligent, i don't think we give them enough credit for how well they write stranger things. i have highlighted in a previous post about how excellent the duffer brothers are at foreshadowing, and i meant it. they will put in the tiniest details, however when what they foreshadowed actually happens, it becomes so obvious and we are all like "why didn't we think of that before?", and the duffer brothers have actually foreshadowed byler the most in vol. 2 (in my opinion). they literally had a shot of all the canon couples standing next to each other - jancy, jopper and byler - and el, the independent badass, standing by herself at the front.

if you think you got queerbaited after vol. 2, know that the duffer brothers have no reason to queerbait. we already have robin, a gay character, and frankly one of the main ones in both season 3 and 4. if they were to queerbait in order to get a larger audience, they wouldn't have robin be gay (this is assuming that they want to be able to air stranger things in a larger variety of countries). also, they would get a lot of hate and accusations of queerbaiting if byler happened in season 5 and they are fully aware of that.

the duffer brothers wouldn't stop byler just because there are milkvan fans that would get pissy. that makes no sense. will and mike being gay (i am a mike gay truther but i will still respect you if you are a bi mike truther, tbh i'm just a "mike kisses boys" truther) is NOT new, it's been both implicitly and explicitly stated from season 1. it just makes sense for them to get together in the end, so it's not like the duffer brothers are making byler happen just because byler fans want it. and the duffer brothers are not afraid of making the fans upset - they were probably fully aware that eddie was going to be a fan favourite, yet they still killed him off. same with alexei.

also, the byler tag just keeps growing and growing and growing. as more byler proof is uncovered day by day, the general audience is beginning to realise that byler will be endgame and more people are joining us as a result of it. and then even more byler proof is uncovered.

byler is one of the most strong ships that i have ever seen in a fandom - they have so much proof that backs them up, the strongest relationship and so much build-up. byler will happen.

#byler #byler endgame #byler proof #will byers #mike wheeler #byler evidence

[rabbitindisguise]

I was afraid of getting worse on recovery and (don't quote me on this) my experience has so far made me feel that is less true?

Growing up I either had to be amazing or terrible, and while being terrible was too much to ever even consider I started to genuinely believe I could/should/would be amazing just to escape the prospect of being terrible. This probably wouldn't be a problem for most people but combined with the regular mania/hypomania where it felt like I was achieving that. With nothing and no one to point out I was a regular human being, I was constantly frustrated with my mistakes instead of working on just like . . . what I could reasonably do. I had lost all sense of reasonable. And the mania was willing to latch on to that and contort itself in whichever way would be necessary to make me feel like hot shit.

And like OOF right? I'm not generally a follower of the medical model, but PTSD is one exception and it's affect on mania has made me feel well and truly ill. I don't want it and I can't stand it. My actions are my own, bipolar doesn't force you to do bad things, and yet it still makes things so . . . difficult!!! It's really hard to know what to do!! I get irritated with everything, I don't know what's really true about me or what I just breezily say as if it's true, I'm scared of myself doing something reckless.

Anyways more to the point while bipolar itself was always there (er, relatively, I had my first episode in highschool, from what I can gather from my blogging on Tumblr) the PMDD overtop complicated the problem so I was going to have to figure out one or the other first. It also means I was never a person with depression, which I'm grateful to know. Depressive episodes are, well, depression but it's not the same. Since I generally have about four different episodes a year (apparently?? I don't know it's just a guess at this point from looking at my blog and stuff) I'm never staying depressed long enough to be clinically depressed. This is important to me because when I was depressed-depressed (after my grandfather died) I couldn't write, I felt terrible, I was actively suicidal at the time. These days from all my practice with PMDD it rarely gets more than I can handle (I can still write, I'm less functional but I'm not totally immobilized, I know what to do in an emergency). And the most petrifying thing about SSRIs was how they made me feel (mania) which is much worse when you don't know that you're wrong and that your feelings aren't an accurate depiction of reality. With PMDD, the reactions are over exaggerated but at least have a BASIS. And since I didn't know why I was depressed I also (wrongfully) assumed that depression had to have a basis. I couldn't understand what was happening. I refused to humble myself to understand what was happening. I was convinced I new everything about my brain and my therapists kept indulging that fantasy, kept telling me how self aware and reasonable I seemed.

So yeah while this seems like so much more, potential lifetime medication, so much therapy in my future . . . I'm glad I figured it out now before I tried to do something even more reckless than I already have. Thankfully I'm such a cautious person that none of it involved like, a lot of alcohol or whatever, just a reasonable amount, but considering how firm I was to never even try it and alarm bells didn't go WEE WOO in my brain about it there's some solid evidence I'm literally off the rocker at this point. The rocker and me have never been so far apart. But perhaps I've just been bad at estimating distances as I've painstakingly crawled back to it ever since I had my first period.

(I'm also, importantly, debating if I should identify as bisexual just to make a bi, bi, bi nsync joke or if that's too crass)

(and side note: isn't mania supposed to be good and fun and sexy? It sucks!! Hyperfocus is a million times better. Doing stuff while manic is like I'm wearing those cursed dancing shoes that force you to dance until you die from exhaustion- without the dancing even being average for my skill level. My eyes keep opening too wide and I feel like I'm full of electricity and I'm not tired or hungry. I'm so anxious!! I'd rather be depressed at this point and never write another word than stay like this one more minute. Argh. I've done so many chores and I hated every minute of it. I feel like I'm holding my own leash back at all times just to remember to eat and sleep and drink water and pee and and and. If this is mania then the movies are sincerely missing something important because I'm not happy at all.)

(also last note: wait does that mean understanding that I'm crazy make me not crazy?? Isn't that the whole thing? "If you understand that you're not supposed to feel this way, that's the difference between anxiety and something more complicated?" Idk being mentally ill is hard because of the colloquialisms everywhere.)

(another problem is that I just. Can't. Stop. Talking. There will never be a good place to end this where I don't want to say more things.)

#personal #mental illness #menstruation #PTSD #pmdd #annnd bipolar #maybe #probably #i don't even know #am i even autistic???? #i know i have adhd #thank fuck for small mercies #my entire perception of myself could radically change but at the end of the day i will always be a little adhd gremlin

[dianalolihikki]

Hey!💜

I was right! (Or rather, I concluded correctly)

Tomorrow I will meet K for the first time in my life.

When I heard about this from my mom an hour ago it caused my inner objection.

On the one hand, after all, I asked about this progress on the paperwork , and on the other hand I feel that I do not want to see him, that I do not want a new person in my life,I do not want a new physical therapist.

Or maybe it's because by the lack of contact from his side today all day I was sure that we will start only from Monday?

My first visit with K is to be spent on organizational matters and checking my walking skills. I will also have many questions for him. Mostly about what methods he works with.

I also wonder if he will be like in my imaginations.

Of course, I'm still afraid that it will all turn out to be a failure. I have had a very bad experience with state physical therapy. Most people with cerebral palsy rather avoid the state one,because it does not give them much, and often even worsens the condition. Therefore, there is a belief among most of us that only private physical therapy makes sense.

I texted N about what will happen tomorrow.

I asked her why K might care so much about starting physiotherapy sessions as soon as possible.

As I once mentioned N has been using state physiotherapy for three years and is very happy with the results ,she is starting to walk. She probably also knows all the rules that state physiotherapists have to follow, so I asked about this rush on K's part.

I will try to approach everything positively, since even E and B approach all this very positively.

Anyway, the fact that he helped me get all the paperwork done speaks very well of him.

In fact, he handled everything for me.

B will probably ask if he is handsome. Especially if he is the same physiotherapist as the one we found one day on google.

I'm terribly scared.

The physiotherapy session will start at 11:30 in the daytime.

I'll set my alarm clock for ten in the morning so I don't fall asleep, although I doubt I'll fall asleep.

💮💮💮💮

As I was writing all this, I imagined that I would surprise J and come to visit him for a week of physiotherapy. In my imagination, A and I keep it a secret and after I come and hug J from behind🩷.

Probably keeping the fact that I am coming a secret would not work, especially if I had a physiotherapy session with him, but no one has killed anyone yet for a dream,right?

I miss J VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY much.

I would give anything to have physiotherapy with him and A instead of K

I even cried when I wrote this.

I will definitely text A about how the first physiotherapy session with K🎀 went (if there's anything to say).

I hope I will see J again someday and that he doesn't hate me.

💮💮💮💮

Today was such an ordinary day.

I was at a physiotherapy session with E

We stayed all in the office. I was also right about my muscles being all stiff. Today I didn't really want to exercise, but luckily I forced myself.

I even managed to walk the whole hallway without crutches,just on my own legs.

It was not easy, my back hurt a lot after that, but I managed.🎀

Unfortunately, on the way back I had to stay alone in the car for a few moments. At first, at the post office. There it was the worst,because it still seemed to me that the car was about to roll down the hill, although it stood on level straight ground.

Then in the parking lot at the store it was a little better, although it still seemed to me that something was wrong. The seat of the car seemed higher than usual to me,but this could just be my fears.

Today my fears were greater than last time,but maybe this is the result of fatigue after physical therapy.

💮💮💮💮

Today my younger brother yelled at me because I refused to let his girlfriend take me to the toilet.

I don't mind her doing it, but my brain is working at odd speeds today and I thought I'd take advantage of her by doing so.

My brother was in a bad mood and was also easily upset. Now we talk normally.

Although at the time I refused to go to the toilet with my mother and held my urine for an hour. And it was stupidity on my part because somewhere since last November I have some harmless bacteria in my urine for which no antibiotic works.

💮💮💮💮

I am finishing for today.

I am terribly stressed.🎀

#cerebral palsy #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #physically disabled #hikikomori #actually neurodivergent #diary #teacher attachment #physical disability #premature baby #physical therapist #physical therapy #i miss him #longing #teacher crush #unrequited affection #unrequited crush #long post #long reads

[oveliagirlhaditright]

These last few days, I've been trying to think of what I want out of a Final Fantasy XVII. And I've definitely had some interesting thoughts there.

But one thing I definitely want--which I just know is a surprise to everyone, I say sarcastically--is a female protagonist... which I'm sure would go over really well with the people who hated Final Fantasy XIII. -shifty eyes- (However, people seemed excited about the idea of Agni's Philosophy, that would have no doubt had a female lead.)

However, enough time has passed since XIII, right? I'd like to try this idea again. Especially since, let's be honest, the real leads of Final Fantasy VII, X, and XII are Terra, Yuna, and Ashe respectively, even if you might not know it because you don't necessarily play as them... So obviously female Final Fantasy leads can be done and done well. Why, then, does suddenly making them the playable character make a difference? (I know it's just because people didn't like Lightning. So let's make a character that everyone likes, then.)

Although, if I'm being honest, I also mostly don't trust Square Enix when it comes to writing female characters anymore. Though I still don't want them to give up, of course. So who would I even want to attempt this?

Kazushige Nojima comes to mind, as he's penned a lot of our favorite Final Fantasy games, of course (and some of our favorite leading ladies in them, like in VII and X). So if he wasn't busy, he could surely be great for this... However, I'm also somewhat afraid of his work now, because of the Final Fantasy X-3 stuff, but hopefully that was the one time he really failed--and will ever fail--amidst all of his stellar work.

Yasumi Matsuno, who was responsible for Final Fantasy XII and Vagrant Story? I'll admit that I'm a terrible person who has never played Vagrant Story, though I did start watching a walkthrough for it years ago... and though I loved it, for whatever reason I never finished it. Back then I had started watching a million different playthroughs of games and couldn't commit to one (I think because I had a busy work schedule hen, and if I chose one, I wanted it to be worth it. Not that Vagrant Story wasn't. It most definitely was... I also was so overworked back then, I would sometimes fall asleep while watching the games, sadly, like with Final Fantasy VI--that had nothing to do with the games themselves, but how tired I was, which is why I inevitably gave up on this whole endeavor). But even so, I of course could tell how genius the game was, and I can definitely understand why so many people love it and are clamoring for a remake of it. As a whole, I feel both of these games are very well-done and greatly scripted. And, while I'll admit, that the Final Fantasy XII heroines don't grab me as much as some of the other ones in the series do, they're still extraordinary ones, nonetheless. And no one can argue how great Ashe was at directing the plot of XII. So if Matsuno wanted to direct a female led FFXVII, I would be all for it.

Naoki Yoshida. While I do think some of the stuff with Jill fell apart at the end of Final Fantasy XVI, I felt like she was a wonderful heroine for most of the game--and I like the girls in all of this installment--so I wouldn't mind giving him another chance. And another chance at the next FF installment in general, as there was so much about FFXVI that really hit the mark and that I loved: and I think that many people agree with that sentiment.

Yoko Taro. I'll admit that the only thing I know about Yoko Taro is the little bit of the first NieR I saw from a playthrough I watched (so I might not be the best person to talk about this). But he's always willing to bring crazy ideas to the table, it sounds like, and to experiment. So if he'd be up for trying such a thing, I'd most definitely let him try.

Motomu Toriyama. Yeah, this isn't going to happen with how much everyone hated his XIII trilogy. But all of his female characters in the XIII games were so great, imo (-shot-). And he's partly responsible for X and X-2, as well, and the ladies were wonderful there, as well (he's also helping out with the FFVIIR stuff, and we all love Tifa, Aerith, and Yuffie). Oh well...

Akiko Ishibashi. She was a female writer on Neo TWEWY. And I loved how our ladies there were handled--and, of course, having a woman write other women (or to at least help out with that process) is most definitely a good thing--and now she's helping out with the Kingdom Hearts series... which is a godsend. And I don't really want to take her away from there, because Lord knows we need her when it comes to KH. But if she were to also help out a bit with FFXVI, I certainly wouldn't mind that.

#and how i miss sakaguchi... #also. tomoco kanemaki. i know you mostly write the kh novels. but you were actually brought in to write for kingdom hearts dark road #and. i may be wrong about this one. but i think also maybe to help with the 358/2 days script? #if square enix wanted to bring you on board more to help out with the writing of kh #or to even help with ff--as is the topic of this post (like with the female characters). i certainly wouldn't mind that either

[cosettepontmercys]

I totally agree with everything you said about rerecordings. I honestly forgot about Sweeter Than Fiction but I like your idea too. It makes sense..and ya it was probably cuz they had cowriters or how she maybe she doesn't agree with the message of Drama Queen anymore. For a while, Ive been thinking about how it would be fun to listen to each rerecording differently the first time. For the first two, I listened in order but then for Speak Now, we went with vault songs first..and now for 1989 I was thinking I will listen on shuffle for the first time..and see how the vault songs mix in with the original songs. I've never done that but think it might be cool to experience since I've heard these songs a lot..and 1989 especially has her most popular songs. Idk though..cuz I know Rep seems like it must be listened in order..then for debut I don't hear the full album all the time so I might just play that in order too. So this is my last chance..and I wonder if it will make me feel differently about the songs haha. That didn't really happen with the Speak Now vault songs though..they just felt pretty separate or like just added to the album. What do you think? How do you usually listen to them? I know sometimes people choose favorites first.

Oh that makes sense about the Roman Holiday musical..and maybe it was hard to translate to stage too. Since it's an old movie, I guess it kinda makes sense to use Cole Porter songs but I can see how that didn't really add anything.

For Paradise Square, i did not know much about it either. I guess there has been an issue of being unable to release their cast album. So the composer has posted a few clips of the musical and songs on his Instagram to appreciate the show and I was watching them yesterday. It seemed pretty good and had a lot of dancing. Haha that Smash comment! Ya it seems pretty in demand..which makes sense. Also your comment about the green light with staging would be totally cool.

Oh ya..maybe that's why they were kinda similar and because they were both based on books. But ya..I still love Love Simon and it's soundtrack but I never read that book either. I really think this one could have had more potential..the movie was fine to me but it just didn't make me feel anything. It could've been more maybe but I also see a lot of people loving it too. I saw someone say that the book has a lot of pop culture references I think so I get why you would say that about when it was written but I'm still always curious about differences from the book to the movie. Apparently you said they cut a whole character..and I'm just like what? Haha. And yes of course to the buddy read! I hadn't thought about it but I think I have time for some reading today so maybe I'll restart it. But I also saw you had a lot of books on your list already so I wasn't sure. There's no pressure and I'm afraid I'll be horrible at keeping up with it lol. I'm not sure if it's like we read a couple chapters then we can talk about it as we go or if you have something else in mind but let me know! I hope you're doing well too and also your dog is the cutest!!!

hi friend!! i am terribly, terribly sorry about how long it has taken me to get around to replying to this </3 i keep meaning to sit down and write an essay reply to your other ask but i have simply not had the time/energy to do so! i treat little women very seriously so it will be a very long essay-answer just so you are prepared! but i did not want to let this ask sit in my inbox longer than it already has </3 and i also just missed talking to you!! how have you been? i would love a behind the scenes documentary/something that gives us more insight into why taylor picks the songs she does from the vaults/how she decides which ones she wants to release/not, and which era she wants it on! i usually listen in order, ending with vault tracks, but i think it'd be fun to shuffle it around! you'll have to let me know which listening experience you enjoyed most 🤍 !! i cannot believe in about two months time, we'll have 1989 tv. i also think that roman holiday is one of those stories that would just not work today! and i think that despite the musical still keeping it in the 1950s, it still felt very ... modern? i don't know how to explain it! i think it was a case of them trying to writing so they could fit in cole porter songs, rather than fitting in cole porter songs to support the script/character development/writing/etc? if that makes sense! i just saw the outsiders is going to broadway, which i'm super stoked to hear more about! ( i know nothing about the outsiders musical, i'm just intrigued) between the outsiders, the notebook, merrily, and then i just saw nycc is doing titanic, i have a better feeling about next season than i have in the past! and then smash in 2024-2025 in theory... i'm just excited! here's a question for you: if you could adapt any book as a musical, what would it be? and if you could revive any show on broadway, what show would you choose? they cut a couple important characters in rwrb, which made me really upset but it is what it is! (+ all the other issues i have with the movie) i do maintain that the book is much better (although not perfect, obviously) but i'm glad that a lot of people seem to love the movie 🤍 it simply is not for me and that is okay!! and yes, still down to buddy read!! i can either match your pace (you can just tell me how much you've read when and i'll read up to where you are), i can read at my own pace and then we can discuss, or we can do a set number of chapters/pages/etc. every x days! let me know what you want to do, i'm flexible 🤍 and thank youuu!! i am doing okay! it has been a rough couple of days over here (family/health stuff) but things seem to be looking up here! 🤍 and my dog says hello!!! hope you're doing well too, friend!

#post: answered #🩷 anon

[pvremichigan]

2, 10, 20 for the topic meme!

2. drabbles

Look. Drabbles are great. I appreciate the art and the effort that goes into it. I just can't do it anymore. I spent way too much time and stress on the Hell arc drabbles and I think that'll be it for a long time. Writing with someone ELSE already drains me enough, writing alone just for the fun of it? That sounds like torture. I love coming up with ideas but the physical typing part and the deep thinking part are just too much for me nowadays. Drabbles are fun, but fun fact about me. I also hate reading. I feel bad, but most of the time I will not read your drabble unless I'm heavily invested in the lore. It's never anything against you. I just already have to fight tooth and nail to get any energy to write, reading will bring me back to a zero.

10. anons

I LOVE getting anons when it's questions about my character. I HATE getting anons when it's "why don't we rp/interact" memes or "send me some validation" memes. Please show me who you are, especially the why we don't interact ones. If you don't, there's literally nothing I can do about it. I can't reach out to you. I can't reassure you. It's just like talking to someone on the other side of a giant wall. I've got nothing that can help if you don't at least let me know who you are.

And to those who've sent anon hate in the past? Jokes on you. I WILL respond to it. But not to what you said. No not at all. Instead I'll make it a waste of your time. Deleting it is almost psychological bullying. You may stalk the page to see if I answered but in the end, your message still got through and you KNOW I saw it. Let's not just delete anon hate anymore, let's make them feel stupid. Post a funny video. Post a silly gif. Post a meme. Post a goofy sound effect.

20. violent threads

I used to love these. I used to have so much fun with these. Now... Writing fights is my enemy. I've had so many terrible experiences and now there are muses out there who could easily kill mine or actually cripple her canonically and I've spent too much time trying to get her to heal. I can't have anymore set backs. I'm not an angst thirster. I like angst, I don't love it, and I hate when it's non stop. Don't get me wrong, I do love love LOVE to have a thread of Mich kicking someone's ass and looking good while doing it. I don't mind if she gets her ass handed to her either! Violence is part of Mich's character, it's a giant part of who she is.

It's discouraging when other muses to things to make Mich violent but tell me they're uncomfortable with Mich hurting their muse. It just reeks of "I don't want repercussions or consequences" and I lose interest for the thread fast. Or when people's muses just dodge everything, or when people SEVERELY underestimate my muses power and strength. Those have all driven me away from violent threads, so I've honestly become selective with who I do them with. It's kind of taken away from Mich's character since she isn't able to react the way she actually would but I find the people who will allow her to be herself and who will give her consequences when she deserves it.

Overall, I do love them. I just don't love doing them. Not with anybody, at least. I do appreciate those who allow Mich to harm their muse when it's called for. I do appreciate those who aren't afraid to respectfully put Mich in her place. She's not always innocent nor is she always the victim.

#[[out of ammo]];; ooc

[broadwayprincess98]

An Update on My Mental Health (For Anyone Who Cares)

A few months ago I made a post titled "Hadestown Headcanons I Will Not Accept." It didn't get much attention and, to be honest, I don't blame most you for not noticing it. I made that post when I was in a very bad place mentally.

I was feeling anxious and upset about a lot of things that were happening. In addition to dealing with what I was afraid to call secondhand or vicarious trauma, I was facing a lot of stress at my job and at home. It seemed like those negative thoughts always lurked right around the corner, even when I was trying to relax.

I didn't even have the aid and support of a therapist because the one I had been seeing for the past year had to leave her practice due to some vaguely mentioned health problems.

Since I didn't know how to properly cope with my trauma, my solution was to vent about it to anyone who would listen. Doing so only made the problem worse when I realized I was putting an unnecessary burden on my family and random strangers on the internet. Also, even though I tried to be polite and mindful of my wording and I didn't mention the names of any users or works that I falsely believed were to blame for my troubles, I cannot deny that I may have hurt someone. And for that I am truly sorry.

I also started to fall into the false belief that this was somehow my fault. Since I'm autistic I'm prone to getting overwhelmed by external and internal sensations. Not helping is that my brain tends to absorb information like a sponge, including some I would rather forget. I began to wonder if I was just too sensitive or if I wasn't trying hard enough to let go. I also noticed that my works weren't getting quite as many kudos and/or hits as some of the others I had seen. Then I wondered if maybe I just wasn't any good at writing. It left me feeling broken and inferior.

Now I realize that there is no one person to blame for my feelings. Something terrible happened and it left me with too many thoughts and feelings to process all at once and it's something I don't care to be reminded of. I've learned to stop worrying about the things I can't control and to focus on writing what I want to see, even if I don't get noticed. After all, most people can agree that it's difficult to get noticed, especially online.

If you want a more in-depth explanation of my emotional experience, feel free to check out my blog post.

#mental health #vicarious trauma #autism #apologies

[watermelonlovershigh]

You Have Severe Period Cramps & Harry Comforts You

This was requested by this ASK. Also a few others requested this so thank you to them as well for helping me choose a one shot idea.

AN- sorry if it isn't that good. me personally, i don't get bad cramps except maybe once a year and the rest of the months are mild cramps. so that's why i made the reader rarely have cramps. so basically in my 8 years of having a period, i've never had severe period cramps so it was hard to write this from personal experience. if it isn't that accurate, that's why.

Things to help you understand this better:

(Boyfriend/girlfriend/Any Harry era of your choice/You don't live with Harry but stay over a lot)

Its 4 in the morning and I'm woken up with terrible cramps in my stomach. It takes me a few minutes to realize the cause of my pain and as soon as it clicks in my brain, I jump up from the bed and make a dash to the bathroom, praying I haven't leaked on Harry's sheets.

When I get to the bathroom, I run to the toilet and pull down my panties. I didn't sleep in pants because of the intimate events that took place between me and Harry before bed last night. Once sat on the toilet, I look down at my underwear and see a tiny red stain. Thank God I didn't leak anymore than that or I would have embarrassed myself.

I use the toilet and clean up properly. Then I grab a tampon from the box Harry keeps under his bathroom sink for me and push it in. As I'm putting the tampon in me, I notice the cramps are getting worse. 'Fuck!' I internally scream. Why did I have to have cramps this month?

My period history- (My periods are always regular and come each month of the year. But my symptoms are very irregular. Some months I PMS and some months I don't at all. Some months I have horrible period cramps and some months I barely notice them.)

Harry doesn't know just how bad they get due to the fact we have only been together for 8 months and I haven't really gotten cramps since before our relationship started. Before we started dating we were friends but I never discussed my period problems with him in our friendship. Now that we are girlfriend/boyfriend, he knows about my period and when it comes. He always keeps pads and tampons located in his bathroom for me which I'm grateful for. But period cramps are new to him when it comes to me specifically.

I make my way back to Harry's bed and cuddle up to his warm sleeping body. I close my eyes and attempt to fall back asleep but my cramps are making it almost impossible. These may be the worst cramps I've ever had. It's like someone has a bladed spoon and is scraping my uterine lining out. I can feel tears start to form in my eyes and I'm afraid I'll wake Harry up. So I turn my body opposite of his and lay in the fetal position. My knees are brought to my chest and my arms are wrapped around my legs with my head tucked between. Now my tears run freely.

When I subconsciously let out a whimper, Harry wakes up and turns to me. He can't see much due to the rooms darkness but the little light coming from the street lights gives him just enough sight to see me basically balled up and crying. Sitting up and scooting closer to me, Harry worriedly asks in a deep morning voice, "My love, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I can't even answer at this point from the amount of pain I'm in. I just point to my stomach. "Is it your stomach? Your stomach is hurting?" he questions again, needing to know I'm alright.

"No, period. Cramps." I whisper through tears.

"Ohh," he says, "I'm sorry. What can I do? Do you need anything?" Harry speaks back while coming even closer to my body.

I'm not even sure what I want in this moment honestly. I haven't had cramps in so long I've forgotten how to handle them. So the only thing I can think of in this moment is, "Just hold me."

"Yeah, I'll hold you darling." He replies sweetly. He carefully turns my body around and pulls me over so I'm cuddled to his side. Then with my face on his shoulder and my arms around his neck, Harry rubs one hand on my back soothingly and one hand slips down to my stomach. He rubs lightly pressured circles on my lower stomach and questions, "This alright?" I just nod my head while letting silent tears fall from my eyes and drip down the crease of Harry's neck. He doesn't care about his skin getting damp from my salty tears. He cares that I'm in so much pain that I'm crying. He hates seeing me cry.

"They hurt so bad!" I moan out in pain a few minutes later.

"I'm sorry. You must not get period cramps often? Unless you put up with this every month and are good at hiding it!" Harry coos quietly.

My tears have slowly dissipated and my words come out more clearly. "I don't get cramps with every period. Mostly every few months. But when I do get them, they are really bad."

Harry hates knowing I'm suffering and wishes he could take my pain away. "I know all about period cramps. Well not having them myself but Gemma use to have them bad when we were teenagers. I remember mum having to pick her up from school because she'd be in so much pain. Or her cramps would become so bad that she would feel sick from them. I have so much sympathy for women who go through painful periods. You guys are so strong." His low, deep voice has made me relax somewhat and sleepy, so my eyes droop closed and I fall back to sleep.

It's now about 8 am and Harry has woken up, just scrolling through feed on his phone. He hasn't got up yet because he didn't want to move my sleeping body. To him I just looked so comfy snuggled into his side and I look to be in minimal pain. What he doesn't know is that I'm still in a lot of pain actually. They eased up a bit when I fell asleep but came back full force 30 minutes ago and I've been pretending I'm asleep. Pretending and trying to ignore nausea stirring in my belly. Even on the days my cramps are the worst, I hardly ever get nauseous from them. Though  I have had that symptom in the past so I know it's from my period cramps and not from a stomach bug arising.

With my eyes still closed, I can feel Harry start to move which is not great for my swirling and cramping stomach. So barley opening my mouth I whisper, "Don't move please. I feel sick. Don't want to throw up on you."

Harry is startled by my awakeness. He puts his phone face down on the bedding and looks down at me on his chest. "Do you want me to get you a bucket incase you actually puke or do you think you're okay?" Harry questions me in a low whisper.

With my eyes screwed shut, I mumble out, "I don't know. I need to probably change my tampon but I feel too sick to move."

Harry thinks for a second and comes up with a slight solution. "What if I get you the heating pad to lay on your tummy and I'll get you some pain medicine to take. And if you accidently leak on the bed, I won't be mad. I'll help you clean up alright?! Hopefully the heating pad will calm your nausea enough to allow you to use the toilet."

I just barley nod my head and Harry slowly slips from underneath me and gets out of bed to get the heating pad, bucket, and medicine. I stay as still as possible while he's gone. A few minutes later Harry returns with all the items. He plugs the heating pad up and places it on my cramping stomach, then lays back beside me. After about 10 minutes of the heat on my tummy, my cramps have reduced enough where I don't feel nauseous anymore. So Harry helps me sit up and I take the pain medicine, feeling more confident it will stay down unlike moments ago when I felt I'd just throw them up. Then Harry helps me out of bed and walks me to the toilet to switch my tampons out. He steps out to give me my privacy and when I'm finished, he comes back in and says he's going to run me a warm bath to make me feel better.

Harry runs me soothing bath and helps me discard my clothes. He doesn't attempt to get in with me knowing I'd want to bath alone because of my period. But he does sit in there with me to keep me company, kneeling by the tub. Harry also massages shampoo into my hair and uses the shower head to rise it out. I request to wash my own body and he respects that. So while I'm washing my body, he puts my towel in the drier and warms it up for me.

After my white fluffy towel is nice and warm, Harry comes back to the bathroom and gives me the towel to dry off with. Once I'm in a fresh pair of pjs, Harry leads me to the movie room down stairs. We cuddle under a thick warm blanket and watch movies for the rest of the day. My period cramps left by nightfall and thankfully never returned again this period.

MASTERLIST & My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

#sicfic #sick #periods #period cramps #harrystyles #harry #styles #comfort #boyfriend!harry #boyfriendharry #boyfriend #girlfriend #boyfriendgirlfriend