#I'll need another post to explain how it fits into some scenes

[blood-orange-juice]

Ok, Childe as a wuxia/xianxia trope. It's honestly a bit embarrassing how well this fits.

(blame @a-yarn-of-purple-prose for this post and if anyone here is a wuxia fan feel free to correct me, I'm new to the genre)

Wuxia is a Chinese martial arts fantasy genre you are all familiar with. An adjacent genre is called xianxia, "immortal heroes", it ramps all the fantasy elements up to eleven and skews tropes a bit (we'll get back to that).

A common trope is some kind of unorthodox school/sect or technique, allowing to achieve greater power without the usual decades of training. It could be straight-out evil or just revolving around chaos.

Such a martial school is usually called an evil/demonic sect (sect is more like a clan in that setting, not the modern concept of sect) and their techniques tend to drive practitioners to insanity. Either because they are inherently corrupting or because getting too much power without growing as a person is really not the best thing for your mental health. They are also often cast from hp points.

And then there's the archetype of a demonic sect heir. The best pupil or simply someone who has inherited a lost art. Proud, always greedy for more strength, often noble in some weird way.

*points to our calamity of a boy*

Common elements of such stories include:

Falling into some weird realm or meeting a weird person who teaches the hero a Forbidden Technique

Learning a technique too quickly through some sort of magic/alchemy/memory manipulation

Some people are so singular in their pursuit they become insane (走火入魔)

Ambition bad, loyalty and family good

Conflicting loyalties, generally a conflict between a chosen path and personal weaknesses/attachments (could be both ego and familal love, and this is more of a xianxia trope)

Fits like a horoscope so far but wait.

There's a very interesting case of Korean murim genre (their version of wuxia) where sects are less varied (I recommend this post for a basic introduction) and we get three paths:

Justice/Righteous/Orthodox/Light — theoretically they keep the Evil Faction at bay, and protect innocent people, but usually are corrupt to the core

Evil/Unorthodox/Dark — these try gaining as much power as possible and attempt ruling the whole world

Demonic Cult — usually dont take part in evil and justice battles, follow their own code of conduct based on their religion, value strength above all else.

(I'm sure there's a similar distinction in wuxia too, I just can't find it in the deluge of lore)

"Demonic" is closer to "pagan" or "heathen" than Christian idea of demonic here, their beliefs are often based on Zoroastrianism and worshipping a sacred flame. Do you remember all the Persian themes used for Khaenri'ah? And Surtalogi being the flame on Surtr's sword in Norse mythology. I also had the impression that Genshin gnostic references are based on the Zoroastrian-flavoured branch of Gnosticism.

In murim the trope of demonic sect heir is called "heavenly demon" (I believe, a more correct translation would be "supreme heathen"), they are utterly badass, live for the glory of battle, seem more like forces of nature and follow a very strict honour code often conflicting with normal human ethics.

(do I need to spell it out)

TvTropes also says this about Korean stories:

(do I need to spell it out pt.2)

I'm not sure why a Chinese studio would focus on the Korean version of this trope but I'm sure something like this exists in China as well or maybe there's a popular manhwa that inspired authors.

Xianxia extends the fantastic element further, focusing on Taoist concepts and practices and adding all kinds of magical realms (celestial, demonic, etc) and magical beings and making immortality achievable. I still need to read more about it but if I understand that right, demonic heir trope turns into a demon prince in this case. An actual visitor from the demon realm or a practitioner who achieved immortality through dubious means.

These are fae-coded in a way very similar to Childe and have a certain nonchalance towards things most humans would consider traumatic. They are simply not bothered by them, having a different set of morals or faring from a realm that is much worse.

Our boy isn't that (he's still very much human) but he's aesthetically coded like one, same as Scaramouche is yokai-coded, despite not being a yokai.

So. When people say Childe's arc is a reference to Journey to the West, it's not entirely untrue, JttW is the classic of xianxia genre and Childe does belong to the same genre. He, however, is not Sun Wukong but a different, darker trope.

This also explains why he has that "shonen anime protag but not quite" vibe. Shonen was heavily influenced by wuxia but this trope never quite made it to anime or maybe never became popular enough. It's not a deconstruction, it's a different story. Or perhaps a deconstruction of that different story.

#childe #tartaglia #my investigation into what the hell this boy is is concluded #this means I'll get to think about something else #many thanks to saoki for indulging my questions for the past two days #there's also an argument for childe being a demon princess rather than a prince but I'm tired #maybe I'll get back to it if anyone wants to meme together #genshin lore tumour #skirk #khaenri'ah #if abyss be thy name I pledge to you my loyalty #I'll need another post to explain how it fits into some scenes #this is already too long

[juvenillia]

Rammstein [headcanon for König]

a/n: @actuallyhiswife had a post about a Rammstein song fitting König and as a German metalhead who follows this band for a very long time I’m eager to share some of my culture with you guys. Tbh most of those songs are for a quite possessive and masochistic version of König, but tbh I can see that and I can’t wait to write some stalker!masochist!König inspired fics by those songs. I also attached a spotify link for every song.

tw/cw: suggestive content, mentions of cannibalism, smut, sex, piv, noncon, dubcon, possessiveness , power play, masochism, degradation, toxicity, manipulation, pain and more

If you want to know anything more about the specific songs or anything, just comment or message me.🩶

》 Masterpost 《

Ich tu’ dir weh

This song is about the pleasure of pain mixed with degradation and manipulation. A line translates into: “Your body is already distorted, but it doesn’t matter because everything is permitted that pleases. I’m gonna hurt you.” And, how a person (reader) is obsessed and dependent from another (König) and this person literally doesn’t care about it.  Another line translates into: “You’re completely devoted to me; You love me because I don’t love you. You gonna bleed for my salvation.”

Bück’ dich

This song is literally about submission and degradation. One line literally says: “I don’t care about the face, just bend over.”

Pussy

I have to add this one for obvious reasons. It’s just a song about having sex. I don’t think I need to really explain it, but I want to translate one of my favorite lines from that song that would fit König way too good. The line says: “Pretty Misses, do you desire more? Let’s have a blitzkrieg with my meaty rifle.”

Giftig

This song is literally about a toxic and dangerous relationship. A relationship that you can’t cut loose. So you rather destroy yourself with it than leave them. A line for example translates into: “The poison flows slowly into my blood, I start to see white lights and yes, somehow I do like it. There is simply no remedy.”  

Link 2 3 4

Originally this song was a statement to deny the accusations of the Band being part of the right scene in Germany.  But the marching beat (added as irony back then) is something I just find fitting. A line translates into: “They want my heart on the right spot, but then I look below, it beats left there”

Rein Raus

This song is just about having sex and fitting a very huge dick into a tight cunt. Yeah, I don’t need to explain that further. A line to translate: “You moan, I predict you: An elephant into a bottleneck.”

Mein Teil

This is literal song about cannibalism. (Was inspired by the criminal case by the cannibal of Rothenburg.) Won’t go into any further details because the song speaks for itself. A line to translate: “Today I will meet a gentleman; he likes me so much he could eat me up. Soft parts and even hard ones are on the menu”

Waidmanns Heil

A song that totally holds hunter/prey vibes. It's about the thrill during a hunt. About the ecstasy the hunter feels while chasing his prey, and about the power balance/play. A transalate of the very first lines: "I've been in heat for days, so I'm going to hunt myself a doe and I'll sit there until morning, that I can give it a chest hit."

Du hast

It's, as I believe, one of the most known songs outside of Germany because of the simplicity of its text. But we have a big double meaning here, because "Du has(s)t mich" can be translated into "you have me" or into "you hate me". It explores the detriments of marriage, and the developing separation and resentment drawn from a long-term relationship.

Bonus:

Bismarck by Sabaton – Sorry but I won’t argue about it, he does love that one! So I just needed to put it onto the list. If you don't know Sabaton, they make really cool power metal inspired by actual historical war victories, heroes and soldiers.

#cod mw x reader #könig x reader #könig mw2 #bd/sm masochist #cod x reader #rammstein #cod headcanons #könig headcanons #rammstein songs #konig x reader #dark smut

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Keep it in Your Heart

If we're doing another leg of this flashback, it's time to dust off a old concept that proved right with the last time we stepped away. We...might not be coming back to how this situation with Saturn gets resolved. We may come in directly on the resolution. There are a lot of ways that can go. But for the moment I just wanted to focus on a few things that are relevant. Starting with the chapter I borrowed a title from here, 603. Viz slightly changes it, but the noteworthy "heart" theme is part of the whole package, one you probably remember with this scene.

Of course it's relevant that Kuma asked for this final mission. This direction for the flashback has a high chance of us seeing an alternate view of the story we all know and love. Really, really would like to see this cover Kuma's POV on Thriller Bark. What I forgot until looking at this chapter again was how much the Straw Hats, particularly Franky, know about the cyborg project. Franky offering a dire warning that is quite pertinent; that Kuma is someone they're indebted to...but if they ever cross paths again he will be an emotionless weapon.

There is no such thing as coincidence, only fate. That was how Van Augur put it. Remember, that was when the story was taking an odd moment between Luffy and Blackbeard and spelling out the thread that had been running since Drum. How a quirk of fate tied the brothers' story together. It's interesting to see it on display here leading into explaining just how Kuma protected the ship. Had a hand in setting the Straw Hats up to learn what they'd need to take on the New World.

I used that quote from Augur in one of our earliest Post-Wano Musings, titled Holding Pattern which covered Chapters 1062 & 1063. Looking back, man it's cool we're still looking at Bonney the same way and Drake has the same potential. I really dug up the coincidence thing because Law having boobies was so on point. 1063 was the first time I really started wondering if there might be a real reason to keep the hopium around because it was so weird then to cut away to Law like that. Egghead has gotten a lot longer than we imagined then but really leaned into those early threads we were looking at.

Those who have been following along would recall a while ago I stopped fully caring about this from the perspective of Kiku actually being #10 or not and more that using her as a guide was clearly paying off enough I'mma keep doing it until we get our answer. So then it's worth noting it may be no coincidence, but fate that made Kuma's decision to split the Straw Hats land them at the right time to stumble into the Akazaya's revenge plot. Though the length of their time apart is out of Kuma's paws even if he knew about it. That was just one thought looking back on 603 here.

You even had Caribou stumble in at the end. Don't forget him. My hunch right now is if the Blackbeard ship is actually Moria & Perona then Caribou fits their aesthetic to a T. That's not a bad vehicle to show some of what happened during the skipped night in the lab. Reading that old review was a great reminder; some of the little oddities we noticed early did and continue to snowball.

As for Kuma? Who knows where the flashback goes from here. I'd love some deep Makino lore but they could just be ships passing in the night. Where Bonney's story runs parallel will also be telling. I'll dust off one classic though. The longer this flashback goes the better the odds we come back to the present in a weird fashion. I don't think this 1100 turn can be ended in just one followup chapter either. Gut says wait til the first one of a new year, those are always big too.

Hell...worth mentioning too. If this is our second segment like this in the arc, what does it mean if/when we break down into a third? Just saying, we already had the idea Egghead was the 4th more accurate part of Wano doing a Rashomon type thing. What if that story itself is a nested Rashomon narrative? I will make and send Oda an award for literary brilliance if he does that and it's really, really starting to feel like we might.

#one piece #chapter 1100 #post-wano musings

[akaiitori]

Attack Dog - Rendering Breakdown

OK here's an attempt at explaining how I go with illustrations. This isn't necessarily an 'effective' way to paint, but rather it's a process to maximize my personal enjoyment. I encourage you to do the same! Find those steps you have the most fun with, and exploit the hell out of them.

For this post, I'll be going step-by-step for this illustration

1- Sketching

A Mess. I don't like making lineart unless I'm super in the mood for it. In this case, I couldn't be bothered to spend a lot of time in the sketch. I often use 3D models as a base for paintings because, if I'm making a painting I only want to paint, not to stress out on anatomy.

2- Blocking values

I only start painting with colour if I'm certain about what I want to do. In this case, I wasn't. When it comes to visual information, values (light and shadow) are more important than colour, so it's easier to block those out first than trying to improve the values in an already coloured piece.

This is a very insightful video if you want to see if a greyscale-first process could be useful for you. Marco Bucci's content in general is a treasure.

Here's a link to the head model used for light reference

3- Paintinggg hell yeah babyyyyy

Not much to say here except, look at a lot of reference. I only limit my canvas to one or two reference pics to not get it super crowded, but I'll always have more pictures open on my browser, tablet, etc.

There's this little app you can use to compile reference pics. I don't use it because the act of opening it is too much work for me but, it's a neat tool.

The main brushes I use for rendering are the following:

Regular round brush with pen-pressure opacity.

Custom triangle brush. It's just a triangle with some texture layered on.

Clip Studio Paint's textured paint. Unmodified.

Custom square brush. Same as the triangle, but it's a square.

Clip Studio Paint's gouache brush. Unmodified. Good for blending.

"Fur block-in" from this pack. Excellent for blocking in feathers.

"triple line" from this pack. Very good for adding texture.

You don't need this many brushes, but I like the variety to keep things interesting. I'd say that only #1, #2 and #7 are essential to me.

A quick trick I used for the muzzle was to make the wires with a white brush, on a layer with border effect.

I considered explaining how to shade feathers here but, it was making this post a little too long. Even more than it already is. But, let me know if a guide on drawing feathers is something you'd be interested in seeing!

4- Colours

For this one I kept it simple. I liked the values and I wanted to have a very stark contrast with the red blood. I made some quick tests with gradient maps trying out different palettes, using gradient maps and overlay layers.

While I enjoyed #1, at the end I went with #5 as it worked better narratively. The clinical white and silvery shadows give a stoic indifference to the blood, which fits with Blackbird's character.

The muzzle and situation on itself aren't a canon event happening, so it also felt more fitting to keep a more stylized 'colouring' rather than actually putting in the character's colours and scene. For this colouring, I only used a single gradient map, but it's not rare if I end up using several, placing masks for areas of different colours.

When it comes to colouring greyscales in character colours I follow a different process, for which I'll use another illustration as an example.

(this is Loketh, he belongs to my partner)

So, for this drawing I also started with a grayscale, but started adding colour in much earlier.

1- Black and white base render

2- New layer with a flat colour, put it on overlay. This will serve as a base for colouring, kinda like glazing on a canvas for a traditional painting

3- Adding character colours, in a new layer on overlay mode. You can do this in a single layer, or make new layers for each new colour. Just keep it loose, no need to add all detail yet.

4- Colouring the shadows. I used a gradient map adjustement layer, set to overlay. Made the lights green, and the shadows purple.

5- Flatten and paint! Now this is the step to add all intricate colour details missing from step 3.

5- Post-Processing

This is a term more used in 3D renders, where it refers to colour corrections and final tweaks. Things like adding depth of field, motion blur, vignette, any final filter.

For almost all my art I'll add a grainy noise layer and chromatic aberration, I just think it looks neat. You can also add paper textures or flat colours on top of you image and set that layer to overlay, it helps to tie everything together.

AND THAT'S ITTT

I hope this was useful, and remember to just have fun with it :)

Further reading:

Marco Bucci's youtube account

Jason Rainville's blog with breakdowns of his illustrations

Sinix Design's video on colouring skin

Anatomy For Sculptor's 3D models for muscle reference (cw nudity)

#art tutorial #speedpaint #digital art #art tips #art resources #drawing #art help

[gren-arlio]

You guys voted Something Random, I love and hate you at the same time.

In that case...Y'all know about JUMP HERO? Welcome to...well, rambles about some random things.

(Da Satan Plant. As of writing this I just hit 51 followers. Wow.)

Hey all, Gren here. I know its been a bit since I've properly posted, and frankly, you're not wrong at all. Life's been busy, and with the rate I'm going at (going to college and whatnot, middle of the school year shenanigans,) there's no way in hell I'll be able to keep the once-a-week posting that I've done. Maybe for summer, but I dunno yet.

Also, life's been hitting me HELLA hard recently, so motivation is also not there. If YKYK.

Which leads to an announcement that I made before: I won't exactly be posting weekly anymore. I'll just... post whenever I feel like it nowadays. Adds a lot less stress for me, and I'll be able to send dumb shit about Puyo and Madou here. Ya know, like a normal blog. You might get 3 posts in a week for all you know.

But enough on that. I'm here to ramble. This won't be a Waku Puyo Extras thing or whatever, literally just things I wanna show and explain some nonsense. There's no formula. Enjoy.

----

I've been working on this stuff since April of last year, and it's been going decently well, people partially know my works. Now, what in the world do I want to show y'all this time around, since I got free will?

Well for one, I'd you've been following my work for a bit, you'd know about the pain that was finding Madou Sugoroku content, that game was so elusive to me that I was convinced it wasn't real for a period of time.

Uh, yeah. It's real. Very, very much real. And man do I love the style of the game. It's so dang pretty. I'll mention gameplay some other time, I'll cover it another time, but today's not that day.

Also. Arle's fit.

It's basically Schezo's clothes but it looks so damn good. No complaints here. Though I do wonder how she got it.

I do want to mention the Pairs though. Arle/Satan is fine, Witch/Draco have been paired since like Saturn, Schezo/Incubus at least have Waku Puyo, Minotauros/Rulue is obligatory, but what the FUCK is going on with the pairing of Sasori Man/Zoh Daimoh? The fact they got two word names?

I do wish that Draco just had a little bit more than what she has currently. I love her, she's a funny person and whatnot, I just wish there was...more, you know?

She's been a character I've been wanting to cover for god knows how long, it's just I've never had enough unique things to talk about with her. Lotta the stuff is things we do know, or Puyo Puyo Tetris [2] sorta just making her beauty obsessed.

Least in Waku Puyo, she has some comedic scenes, canonically being able to make 5 chains and confusing Schezo at least 3 times. And in the manga, she bounces off Rulue and Minotauros decently, her fight was fun to read.

(Don't ask how Rulue learned Shadow Clone Jutsu)

And for a second, let me say that the designs in this manga are top-notch. Witch's redesign is nice, Rulue's looks really good, Draco's design is great, Schezo consistently has the best clothes, and Lagnus... somehow looks even better.

Oh yea, speaking of Draco, let's look at someone who sorta kinda maybe perchance looks like her but is actually from JUMP HERO.

... I'm awful with transitions. We're talking about the series. Sorta.

So, JUMP HERO. Series made by Compile, unknown to a lot of us.

(Nexus image)

Frankly, I want to cover this game sometime. It seems so...interesting. The characters, the gameplay, the story, it all seems so interesting to me.

People like Billie Be Babine, Margarita Linda, (the black and red folks in the front), Sugar & Oligo, they all seem so damn cool. Oh, and that Penguin is some fella named Ivan. He has a reeeeeally long last name.

Oh and that robot guy is like 2 years old canonically. Needed to mention that.

This is Sugar and Oligo btw. They seem fun to talk about sometime.

(Nexus image)

The game feels so heavily unexplored. I want to see it sometime. When? Whole other story.

But with that, I think this'll end my small ramble about nothing. Thanks for reading.

Adios.

#madou monogatari #puyo puyo #schezo puyo puyo #sega #waku waku puyo puyo dungeon #rulue puyo puyo #arle puyo puyo #draco puyo puyo #local boy rambles about nothing

[mirror-to-the-past]

Finished KH3 and Re:Mind- holy shitballs.

So *much* was happening throughout that climax, and so little of it was cohesive, and Re:Mind made it so a double narrative was taking place simultaneously alongside the base KH3 climax so yeah, it's going to be hard to discuss everything I probably would've wanted to while playing throughout those fateful final hours. I'm definitely going to accidentally skim over some details or questions I have, purely as a consequence of my head whirling.

The two biggest criminals here impacting my understanding of the plot are one- the aforementioned double narrative and two- the obfuscating nature of Sora's POV (like, the one that comes to the forefront of my mind at the moment was when he came out of the light tunnel with Kairi after resurrecting everyone via Power of Waking and looked off somewhere and appeared confused/surprised). Re:Mind explained what was going on in some suspicious moments where Sora looked like... haha I don't know how else to describe it except by saying he looked like he was dissociating? But yeah, that post light tunnel moment was not one of those so. 👀 Literally have no inkling what they might have been going with there- just a feeling of significance I can't shake. I got that a lot throughout the end of this playthrough. Pain.

The time travel in this game was one of the most bonkers usage of time travel I've seen in media, and I salute the writers for sticking to it and making their plot happen. I think my brain would've fried halfway through and I'd have cried at the keyboard. I am but a mortal stuck on a linear scale. This falls somewhat beyond me. I'll try my best to make heads or tails of it, though.

While the execution felt somewhat... sudden/rushed, I appreciated the follow-up on Sora's crumbling self esteem. 10/10 mini breakdown, you motivated Riku to such a degree that he got you spirited to the Final World- good job, lad. I know Naminé said that Kairi was the one keeping Sora tied to the Final World, but I had to wrap my mind around that statement, assuming its validity, because it felt a bit out of left field for me. I only mention this because after everything I saw (Riku's sacrifice shown twice, a good number of the star people who had very similar sounding sentiments to Riku [lemme tell you some of those stars were very telling], and I thought I was bullshiting on this one at first, but after rewatching the Final World's title card animation thingy, it ALSO looks a lot like a reflection of the composition of the Riku death scene), I felt a bit surprised that it was not said to have been Riku's contribution that kept Sora chained to the Final World- it would definitely have made sense given the context. However, Kairi's love and hope for Sora is definitely not to be dismissed, alongside Riku's love and belief in him, so upon thinking on it more, I see it as a "Riku saved and tethered Sora's heart to the Final World and Kairi helped Sora retain his form" kind of thing. And if you think about the presence of each character in Sora's life, their contributions under that lense would make sense:

Kairi is a symbol of home and memory, maintenance of stability. She would be the one to hold onto her memory of Sora- strong enough that he would maintain some level of physicality and semblance of mortal self, even in near death. Similarly to what Joshua said in DDD: "By ourselves, we're no one. It's when other people look at us and see someone- that's the moment we each start to exist. All they needed was someone to see them, connect with them." <- That fits pretty well with the situation.

Riku focuses more on new beginnings, and the casting away of things deemed as 'unnecessary' (body, home, companionship... debatablely happiness) for the sake of pursuing desires. It would match up with his history of possession and development where he learns relinquishing of control. Without Kairi's contribution, Sora would likely have just manifested as another faceless star person, as retaining Sora's heart would've been Riku's priority in that moment, regardless of what form he would take. (From moments before Riku's sacrifice- "We haven't lost them. They still have their hearts. But we have to protect them." Tie that into Riku's "Protect the things that matter" thing, and boom.)

So uh... go team! Sora may be determined to get himself killed, but with their powers combi- oh... (Looks at the ending)

Also I made sure the 111th Sora I grabbed was doing a funny little jig. I'm proud of me.

Here's a speculative blurb from a previous attempt at a KH3 climax post from earlier that ended up getting scrapped:

"Because of what Young Xehanort said (EN: the "It's already too late for you" line), now I'm wondering if Sora's being baited into an illusion where his friends are safe, because he couldn't handle a world where that wasn't the case, paralleling DDD ending. That, or Sora's just doomed himself by going to the Final World, using the power of waking a bunch and attempting to carry on, business as usual."

While I'm glad that it didn't turn out as bleak as the initial speculation, I do still wonder post ending if, given Xehanort's level of anticipation of his opponents' moves on a metaphysical level, he took advantage of Sora's insistence on breaking reality for his loved ones as a way to bait him and shove him out of the way forever, or if sending him to where it looks like Sora ended up was somehow more advantageous for his ambitions in the long run. And let it be known I predicted my boy was going to sorta-die due to his everything-ex-machina. I cracked jokes about it to cope throughout the entire finale.

Examples:

"Boy Riku, the air that I'm breathing in the Keyblade Graveyard sure is stuffy, but I feel immensely grateful for it for some reason. *coughs forebodingly*"

"Y'know Kairi, I think I'm down to reminisce with you for once. I just feel like I should really look at where life's taken me so far. Oh, no particular reason. Lovely weather today."

On a less upsetting note-

ROXASSS

XIONNN

YYEAHHHH BABEYY 😎😎😎

Literally lost my MIND when Roxas showed up. The hype I felt was immeasurable, and my day was made. The "Other Promise" rendition during the fight was sick, and Re:Mind did the Org. trio even more justice with their attacks. When Xion started crying post fight I was just like... same, babygirl. It was just a lot, and I'm so happy Roxas was yoinked back into existence.

Still extremely intrigued about all of the unknowns in the Org. XIII lore. You can't just take away all the cool guys again and not tell me anything new about them (Marluxia, Larxene, Demyx, Luxord). Especially after Xemnas previously made a big deal literally about how mysterious they all were. Dick. >:0

Very curious about when and how Luxord's wild card will come into play, considering it didn't get mentioned during Re:Mind, as I assumed it might in order to help Sora fix Kairi or perhaps get Sora out of his mess. KH4, maybe? 👀

Also XIGBAR MVP ONCE MORE LFG. OR SHALL I SAY, LUXU?? I really should've put two and two together for that one, because of how all-knowing Xigbar seemed to be at all times, but I wasn't particularly focused on figuring out Luxu's identity, so that's on me. Curious about how he summoned the Foretellers. Thought they were dead, for some reason, but I suppose there was no reason to assume so if Luxu was able to survive that long as well. Wonder what they've been up to? Ava noped out- wisest thing anyone has done this entire franchise, lol. I would assume the Book of Prophecies was inside the box, but as seen by the Union X stuff, Mr. Master was still enjoying prophetic light reading after he sent Luxu away, so all one can assume is that it's parts of the Book of Prophecies hidden away from everyone or perhaps another significant book altogether. We'll seeeee. *explodes*

Speaking of the Union X stuff, loved that moment where Ephemer phased into Sora's reality to stir the lingering wills of the deceased Keyblade wielders into action. I just felt so happy for what I assume were real players who are now forever immortalized in the game as people who come to your side to help you beat the tough baddie, y'know? I got a bit emotional- it reminded me of NieR:Automata. If you know, you know.

Riku and Xehanort's Heartless have finally finished their strange drawn out mentorship/insecurity demon/invasive clingy ex dynamic. I chuckled a little bit at Riku saying "I think I'll miss you." Oh dear, lol.

I love that one scene where all the Guardians of light minus Kairi and Sora were fighting in an Avenger-esque huddle in the sky, and they occasionally chatted with each other. Ventus complimenting Roxas made my heart warm. It's the little things!

Scala ad Caelum is so pretty! And fun to say, haha! It reminds me a lot of a The Mist/Sharlayan city lovechild from FFXIV. Very Mediterranean, bleached white coastal prettiness. Would live there- 10/10. Also, I appreciate the consistency of people's hearts manifesting physically as their homeland. You had Sora's heart in DDD as the island the kids played at in Destiny Islands, and now Xehanort where he was raised and trained (he felt more personal connection to it than say, Destiny Islands, where he seemed to have also spent part of his life). It's sweet, and a bit sad, as both have grown so estranged from their homelands.

The way I SCREAMED when I got to play as Kairi. So sad how she's been thrown into such a disastrous fray so suddenly after becoming a Keyblade wielder, her and Axel/Lea (I don't care about Merlin's time stopping magic man, I Know they needed more time) and suffered the most for it. She was really getting the Sora treatment of being talked down to by the villains (kudos to Axel/Lea, I love him so much for calling Kairi his trump card, they make me so happy), and being seen as easy pickings. It's so good that Sora was in her corner to help her, because like damn. Girlie went through it. And then she comes out the other end only for her best friend who risked life and limb for her to fucking DIE as a result of how hard he tried to make sure she was safe despite the universe working against her (gj for Sora finally stepping up as a Kairi bodyguard this game, by the way. About time 🙄 [I am light-heartedly referencing my own inside joke].)? DAMN. SHE'S PROBABLY GOING THROUGH IT EVEN MORE. Survivor's guilt, anyone? But yeah, anyway, her going "please work!" when fighting Xehanort was so sad... you're doing great, Kairi! Don't let anyone tell you different! Loved the "One Heart" attack her and Sora had! It was so pretty, and they're absolutely my little angels- they deserve the wings! Love how they're both like... the connection pieces between everyone, y'know? I love Kairi's attack pattern of her initial swipe being a long ranged hit that then zaps her to the target- thought that was great design! It was on par with Aqua's gameplay in this game, for me, and I admittedly like the feel of it a little more than Roxas' and Riku's. Side note- was Riku's AI as a party member just wack for me, or does he not have healing moves/items this game? I only ask because I remember how he was like 🫰 On It whenever Sora's health would drop a smidgen in KH2, but here he was like "I saved you in cutscene, if you die now, you die, fam."

That part in Re:Mind where Mickey becomes playable and gets a whole Price of Freedom last stand moment had me in tears, I was laughing so hard from the melodrama of it all. But also the music was genuinely beautiful. It's just... 😂 I'm sorry I loved it so much. I love these games, they're so ridiculous. If someone likes Kingdom Hearts, I can't help but assume they also have a brilliant sense of humor, as well.

Love how every day, Kingdom Hearts becomes more and more Doctor Who. That one battle line from Young Xehanort, the fanatical time traveling icon himself, where he stops time and says "Don't Blink" made me smile.

I really liked that one Vanitas line to Sora- "And I do stand by your side. I'm the shadow that you cast. How much closer could I be?" I am reminded that the main reason I love antagonistic characters is due to their cryptic and occasionally poetic speech patterns.

Speaking of antagonistic characters who are NOT poetic- Master of Masters my GUY! I am consistently delighted to see this guy on screen, he's so loveable- I don't care about his war crimes. Thought it was hilarious how he said "So you're saying the weak feel the need to justify their actions to maintain a sense of self." And it completely goes over Xehanort's head how hard he's justifying his intended actions in that scene. When a guy like the Master of Masters, who seems to pride himself on low involvement passively mentions your strong willed ideologies, I'd get the idea he's silently judging you in his head. "There's no class, really! What happened to letting human nature take its course? Kids these days just can't wait for things to fall into place over the course of millennia anymore." *Cracks open a cold one in the Keyblade Graveyard*

Oh also, Xehanort and Gaius van Baelsar from FFXIV are the same individual in goals and personality and that is immensely hilarious to me. They both have a propensity of taking in orphans that then go through psychological and physical trauma for his agenda, too. You don't understand him, guys! The weak were being propelled into a misguided agenda that controlled the masses, and SOMEONE needed to step up and be the voice of action that would allow the motherland- *ahem* Keyblade Wielders and the worlds to return to their true glory! All these teenagers and twenty-somethings raving to him about friendship and light are too sensitive- they'll give Keyblades to anyone nowadays, and he hates this new woke Keyblade society! Next time, on the Xehanort podcast-

As you can see, at this point in the post my sanity dwindles evermore. So, I'll finish by going over the last major thing that made me spiritually foam at the mouth a little bit:

SECRET ENDING CUTSCENE WAS SO WELL COMPOSED HOLY SHIT. Every single frame was desktop worthy. The LIGHTING. I also like how it looks more Final Fantasy, admittedly. The other style they had in the fancy cutscenes looked a little off-putting with everyone's porcelain doll eyes. But this one? MWAH. BELLISIMO.

The MUSIC. The COLORS. The red/blue thing Sora and Riku kept locking onto while they were gaining their bearings and trying to find each other? The warm/cool tones between each of the boys' sides, both still within an urban setting? The dynamic camera movement that started as slow, unfocused, lingering shots to reflect Sora's (especially) and Riku's disorientation of their new surroundings, all before switching to sudden, sweeping shots over the cityscape as the realization of their circumstances crashes down upon them? Them walking into each other's shots while looking around, showing how they're searching for each other even subconsciously? OH, OH, AND THE RED/BLUE THING CARRIED OVER FOR THE DEFINITELY NOT PLOT RELEVANT (it's not like the game drew attention to how he looks like Sora [I don't see it but whatever] and Riku, and this series has never made character designs plot relevant ever) HETEROCHROMIA IN THE VIDEO GAME GUY TOO, AND YEAH, HE'S THERE LMAO?? Literally did not have "the spoof Riku-esque character from the damn Toy Story World is important and potentially the MCs' secret lovechild" on my Bingo card, but I'm adaptable. I hope that once he and Riku meet there's a Spiderman meme moment. I also hope Sora's like "What? How am I talking to you? You're from a video game!" And Yozora is like "You also are from a video game" and we finally shatter this paltry meta narrative barrier we've been poking at once and for all. Give me more chaos, I must feed.

I was extremely confused as to why Riku was in the same place as Sora, and was like "maybe it's another DDD parallel world separating them from each other" thing, but still, how did he get there in the first place? But then I laughed as I envisioned the natural, sensible progression of this situation in a hypothetical post-Sora disappearance cutscene where everyone stares on, shocked, and Kairi wobbles down the Paopu tree, sobbing, to everyone else on the beach.

Kairi: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, he said he didn't have much time left, but he was happy to spend it with everyone, and he's happy I'm safe and- *sniff* and- I should've asked him something that could help us go after him and-"

Riku: "Don't worry, Kairi. I'll handle this."

Aqua: "Riku, we don't even know where to start, we need to assess the situation!"

Axel: "Aaaand, he's walking away."

Ventus: "What do you think he's planning on doing?"

Terra: "It's Riku. He's a man with a plan. He'll do what he has to to... uhm."

Axel: "Aaaand, he's walking into the ocean."

Kairi: "RIKU, NO-"

Naminé: "RIKU, YOU CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN-"

And from where I left off before getting mercilessly slaughtered by my first Data fight, it's now been a whole year of Absent Sora. Damn. One squad's in hell, Kairi might be in another coma, and Riku's probably gonna take up blindfolds again at this rate. What no Sora does to a mf part 2.

Riku: "We NeEd to BeLieVe in HiM. HiS hEaRt aNd HiS miNd aRe MaDe uP." *Puts his face in his hands* *Silently sobs*

#kingdom hearts 3 first playthrough #kingdom hearts #kh3

[ciaossu-imagines]

This might be kinda a random request but in an KHR AU where everyone one is a celebrity what kind of celebrity do you think everyone would be? Or just the characters that interest you most. For example who would be an actor, model, singer, or YouTuber/tiktoker. Maybe even Instagram model or blogger

I love random requests so don't even worry about that! This was an interesting AU to think about, especially as I'm not really a big part of celebrity culture as a whole. I hope you'll enjoy what I came up with and thanks for sending in the request!

Getting the important out of the way first, setting up kind of this post really: this AU is obviously very much set in modern-day, with all the various forms of media and content available to us. Now, KHR has an absolutely astounding amount of characters and I really tried to consider where each and every one of them would fit. By doing so, I need ya'll to suspend your disbelief and put aside actual canon for a moment, because you will see things like Giotto and Tsuna existing together at the same time despite the fact that canonically, that wouldn't be able to happen. Now, because, as mentioned, KHR does have such a huge cast of characters, I admit fully to being a little lazy in how I set up this post. You'll find the major categories of different celebrity types below with characters kind of sorted into the categories. If I had actual thoughts and headcanons on their 'brand' or celebrity status in any way for the characters, I kind of included them alongside the character's name. I'm so sorry if that disappoints anyone but when the box does reopen, if you want more particular headcanons on any character within this AU, I'll be more than happy to really focus in on figuring out things for that character.

MOVIE & SMALL SCREEN ACTORS & ACTRESSES

⦁ Reborn - all I have to say on this one is he's been in some amazingly huge pictures, largely is an action star, and is known for doing all his own stunt work. I'm thinking like Jackie Chan type celebrity. ⦁ Giotto and G. are both famous actors who often co-star together with Giotto as the leading man and G. as his brooding sidekick. ⦁ Akiko Irie ⦁ Tsuna, Gokudera, Yamamoto, Ryohei, and Lambo are all, in this world and in my headcanons, new actors who really hit it big with a massively popular television series. Both Yamamoto and Ryohei had careers in sports before being talked into doing the show. ⦁ Basil plays a secondary character in the television series Tsuna stars in. ⦁ Xanxus was a hugely famous child star turned action hero. He was one of the biggest stars around, followed by paparazzi and such, until the show Tsuna and the rest of the cast came along, when they became the hottest thing going. ⦁ Dino Cavallone ⦁ Byakuran ⦁ Dendro Chilum, well known for playing villanous roles in action films.

STAGE ACTORS & ACTRESSES

⦁ Reborn ⦁ Vongola Quarto ⦁ Hanako Tsuruta is a famous mime and silent performance artist.

REALITY SHOW ACTORS & ACTRESSES

⦁ I can't fully explain why but I see Jaeger as being on some sort of competitive show, something along the lines of Fear Factor or Survivor or even something like Ultimate Beastmaster or American Gladiators. ⦁ Both Nana Sawada and Tsuyoshi Yamamoto have cooking shows they host. ⦁ Osamu Abe probably got super famous for like 15 minutes when he was on one of those Big Brother type reality shows. He was the first one out of the show, which is why his fame never grew beyond that. ⦁ Levi A. Than, Uno, Tre, and Due all become famous off a reality show about, I like to think, the gang life. ⦁ Tazaru and Nosaru are both part of a popular reality show about the skateboarding scene. ⦁ Romeo

MUSICAL ARTISTS

⦁ It's probably just bias because of her name, but I love imagining Aria as being musically inclined even in canon. I think she's had formal voice training and could become a really well-known and respected opera singer. ⦁ Another thing I love imagining? A cute girl-power pop band comprised of Kyoko, Haru, Hana, Chrome, and Yuni. The girls are all so different in terms of personality, looks, and appeal so there's a girl in the group for everyone and every single one of the girls have their own groups of fans entirely devoted to their fave. I really kind of envision this as a Spice Girls type huge cultural touchstone style girl band. ⦁ Vongola Terzo ⦁ Lavina ⦁ Ugetsu Asari ⦁ Eiji Kuroda, Yukio Kisanuki, and Takuya Ookura all have a rap group together that does fairly well. Enough so, at least, that they definitely have fans. ⦁ Enrico Fermi, Massimo Ranieri, and Federico Ferrino are all part of a boy band together. ⦁ Shoichi Irie ⦁ Large Ooyama ⦁ Lunga

MODELS

⦁ Jack ⦁ Vongola Quinto ⦁ Sakura Kikumomo ⦁ Shizue Murota ⦁ M.M. ⦁ Ivan Draco ⦁ Kikyo ⦁ Julie Kato ⦁ Adelheid Suzuki ⦁ Pantera ⦁ Cervello

ARTISTS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, DESIGNERS, ETC.

⦁ Alejandro ⦁ Fabio ⦁ Sawako Narita ⦁ Makoto Kozato ⦁ Totem Ross - Famous jewelry designer and fashionista ⦁ Lussuria is a famous fashion designer with his own line of shoes, handbags, and makeup as well as a signature perfume. ⦁ Cappuccino is a famous hair stylist for the stars, probably has even had his own shows and social media presence about his work. ⦁ Shitt P! is a designer who is also a social media darling. ⦁ Talbot

WRITERS

⦁ Reborn has a best selling biography, if that counts. ⦁ Verde is famous within scientific circles, both for the amount of scientific breakthroughs he's acheived and for his always intriguing, if really heavy, research papers. However, what I think he becomes most famous for is a series of sort of Science for Dummies style books he publishes that really break down a lot of heavier scientific concepts, ideas, inventions, breakthroughs and such. Written with his acerbic wit, the books are not only really informative and easy for the layman to understand, but are written well enough and with enough charm and wit to keep the average person amused while they learn. ⦁ Simora - I see him writing spy novels, things along the lines of James Bond and such. ⦁ Mako Yuide writes love poetry. ⦁ Christine Hattori is a pretty big name crime reporter. ⦁ Oregano is a screenwriter. ⦁ Innocenti

YOUTUBERS

⦁ Lampo ⦁ Sadaharu Uchida ⦁ Daigoro Ooyama and his brother Ushio make a lot of YouTube videos not only showing off their karate skills but teaching others easy karate-based workout routines and breaking down the basics of the sport. ⦁ Teppei Oda and Koji Sato have a YouTube channel together where they play games or really break apart fandom in some way together, bouncing a lot of ideas off each other and bantering and they get strangely popular because a lot of people find their friendship and conversation pleasant and relaxing. ⦁ Hajime Azuma, Jiro Chinada, and Yozo Kannazuki all have a channel together that features some prank-style stuff but to be honest, a lot of their content is just really roasting other people and a lot of their videos are really mean. However, they do seem to attract a rather large audience and do get really popular for some reason. ⦁ I-Pin has a channel of her showing off the various martials arts, gymnastics, and other skills she's learning as she moves towards her grand goal of becoming a stunt person in the film industry. ⦁ Ottavio is a former film actor whose bad reputation made it impossible for him to gain more roles. He became YouTube famous for his channel where he dishes about celebrity culture, working on film sets, and spills secrets about actors and such he has worked with. ⦁ Ape ⦁ Paolo Aldina has a YouTube channel teaching self-defense and Krav Maga techiniques. ⦁ Naito Longchamp - fun fact, Mangusta is always his camera man.

TIKTOKERS

⦁ Colonello really becomes a hit on TikTok. Not only do a lot of his fans believe he's a real thirst trap, but he gains a following for his training and fitness videos. He makes a bunch of military-style boot-camp training TikToks, plus he teaches people about his various weapons and basic self-defense moves are incorporated into some of his workouts. ⦁ Lal Mirch will sometimes co-star in some of Colonello's Tiktoks. There are at least a couple little 'series' of his Tiktoks where she's very much shown on camera a lot, but I believe that's the closest she's willing to come to any sort of celebrity and only does it because she also really enjoys teaching people things and if the internet allows her to teach someone who she might never have been able to help otherwise, she isn't going to sneer at it. ⦁ Chikusa Kakimoto ⦁ The Delivery Man becomes a TikTok thirst trap. ⦁ Toshiko Sano ⦁ Kaori Furuta though a lot of her Tiktoks focus on her work in the customer service field, she gains a really large following. ⦁ Bianchi ⦁ Moretti, whose TikTok is full of magic tricks and such. ⦁ Baishana ⦁ Iris Hepburn, not only a TikTok thirst trap but someone whose TikTok is used to spread correct information and wisdom about the BDSM community. ⦁ Kouyou Aoba

TWITCH STREAMERS

⦁ Ken Joshima ⦁ Terumi Gomi ⦁ Yaginuma ⦁ Bono Hughson ⦁ Giaggiolo ⦁ Enzo Maccarinelli, who is also big in the competitive gaming scene. ⦁ Wonomichi

PODCASTERS

⦁ Daniela - I can see her hosting a podcast where she really digs into and gives her opinions on a variety of topics, mostly things about society, justice, politics, and just important issues happening in the world. The podcast definitely leans more towards pro-feminism, pro-equal rights for all, and social reform. ⦁ Masato Hitsuji ⦁ Turmeric ⦁ Simon Cozzato ⦁ Rossi Valentia has an educational podcast. ⦁ Lenny and Manny have a podcast on the subject of mechanics and robotics. ⦁ Koenig

MAGICIANS

⦁ Mukuro - you remember that huge craze where guys like Criss Angel and such became huge celebrities? Where illusionists and mentalists had television shows? Hell, even just the fact that Penn & Teller are still household names should be a reminder of how big magicians can get in popular culture and I think Mukuro would definitely fall into that same kind of category as a magician whose act and tricks became famous. ⦁ Fran sometimes assists Mukuro or accompanies him, the two of them doing tricks in tandem and Fran normally at least opens for him and has a pretty solid following of his own. ⦁ Viper/Mammon also has a pretty solid magic show of his own that was the initial beginnings of his fame. However, he really took off and became super popular with a series where he showed how magic tricks work, step by step, and debunked any actual 'magic' existing. He's also a best-selling author of branded magician kits and tools because Viper knows how to hustle and market things really well to earn that money. He also does paid advertisements and really monetized his social media presence. ⦁ Mitsuru Fujimori ⦁ Torikabuto ⦁ Genkishi, who combines magic and athletic feats in a hugely popular magic show. He even gets his own solid run in Vegas because of it. ⦁ Ginger Bread ⦁ Ichiro, Jiro, and Saburo Shibaki all have an act together. ⦁ Kawahira has straight out achieved the same level of fame as a magician as Harry Houdini.

THIS ACTUALLY GOT SO LONG I NEED A PART TWO HAHA.

#replies #katekyo hitman reborn #khr #headcanons #au headcanons #celebrity au

[yourladystar]

Star's Engage Catalogue Day 34 (part 5)

I feel that it's only right to showcase the final team that will be joining me.

And I have to split it into 2 posts because Tumblr has a 10-picture limit.

Don't really think I have to explain why Alear has been a strong fighter. You see those stats and you see why I had Marth stick with him, those two are a perfect fit.

But I wanna talk about how shocked I am by Alear's character. He's genuinely up there with Corrin and Shez as one of the best avatars this series has done. His story is engaging, he's a joy to watch in anything he does or says, his voice acting is immaculate, he's so God flippin adorable! I'll definitely talk more about him another time, but he managed to become one of my favorite characters in all of Fire Emblem, something I never expected to happen playing this game!

Again, don't think I need to explain why a dancer is good. And while Corrin worked with him for a while, Byleth is a better option, especially with the stats he gives.

And Seadall surprised me with his character. His alluring nature and way of speaking, his wisdom and experience from his past, the struggles he deals with from his lifestyle, and the way he can inspire others even when he doesn't believe in himself. I don't know how some of y'all can say he's boring, this sh*t is lovely.

Also he's pretty as hell, but I think you can see that.

Rosado has been a reliable fighter who can just about any enemy I have him face. Good stats, weapon variety and flyer mobility make him extremely versatile. Leif has been the best fit for him, since his stat boosts and skills work best for how Rosado functions in battle.

His character is also wonderful. A perfect evolution of Forrest and wonderful rep for trans, genderfluid, crossdresser's, and gender questioning people in a time where they really need positive representation. Plus he's spunky and sassy while also being caring and supportive.

Amber is a weirdly good example of hard-hitting but fragile. His low speed and res make him susceptible to one-hit kills, but the enemy can't do that if he doesn't kill them in one hit first. Eirika also works weirdly well for him, as the twins' skills suit whatever I need him to do that turn.

But I can overlook all of that for his character. I love this doof! He's so dumb and goofy but filled with so much positivity and cheerfulness it's hard not to smile at his antics. Even when he royally f*cks something up, you can't help but smile and go, "Youre doing amazing, sweetie."

Alcryst might just be the strongest member of my team and Lyn really helped to bring out his true potential. Her skills perfectly suit his play style and ensure that any he fights will not survive, whether it'd be death by crit, death by Luna, or Alacrity stopping the opponent from even fighting back. And with me giving him avoidance skill, literally nothing can even touch him. It's honestly ridiculous how busted this unit is.

And don't get me started on how much I love this little skrunkly! He stole my love the second his first scene ended and it only got better with each scene he got. I just wanted this boy to have love and happiness and seeing him get that from everyone in his life- his brother, his retainers, his friends, his boyfriend- they all just make me smile.

Alfred has a rocky middle, but he really picked up. Once I started utilizing the resources I got and realized that he got swords after being promoted, Alfred really came into his own and started being a powerhouse. Sigurd has been his Emblem since the start. No one else can really utilize his movement the same way Alfred does.

Alfred also shocked me with his character. I already liked him enough for the goofy and entertaining meathead he was, but the second I unlocked his A-support with Céline, everything I perceived about him changed! He went from being just a fun and silly presence to one of the most tragic yet hopeful characters in this. Someone who, even knowing they have little time left, refuses to give up and continues to strive forward to protect everything and everyone he cares. Someone who doesn't ask for your pity and will always be put you first.

I couldn't have picked a better person to give the Pact Ring to.

Alflear for life, baby!

Zelkov is a unit that started off good and continued to be good throughout the entire game. I've never been in a position where it felt like bringing him along was an inconvenience, even when there was no chest for him to unlock. Hell, for the longest time, he didn't even need an Emblem to assist him, but when I did decide to give him one, the Three Houses lords for him like a glove.

And God, I love listening to him talk! I had no idea what to expect out of him during the lead-up to Engage, but I am so happy with what I got. An enigmatic and mysterious yet sweet, caring, and helpful man who seems like an autistic coded goat on the surface but is just using his many hobbies to avoid dealing with the trauma of his childhood- that is right up my alley!

I'll do the second half in the next post.

#fire emblem engage #playthrough #first playthrough #alear #fe alear #m!alear #seadall #fe seadall #rosado #fe rosado #amber #fe amber #alcryst #fe alcryst #alfred #fe alfred #zelkov #fe zelkov

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @winterandwords to uh... talk about a WIP I guess? :D

I'll pass on this tag toooo... @starlit-hopes-and-dreams (as always <3) but I'm not sure who else, so if you feel like talking about a WIP, consider this an open tag.

Oh boy, which to pick. There are currently only 2 projects where the P in WIP actually stands for "progress" (for the others it stands for "procrastination".)

I think I'm gonna pick Till Death. It is the one I am currently obsessed with, and the only one I am writing, not editing.

Here's the blurb:

Finnian is a wandering healer down on his luck. When one of his patients dies, the village turns against him, beating him half to death and leaving him for thirst and scavengers to finish what they started.

Eilis lives deep in the forest, hiding from the world. When she finds him, impaled on a tree and barely alive, she can‘t leave him to his fate, even if it means upending the peaceful life she has built for herself.

As Finnian slowly recovers, days filled with quiet companionship make the prospect of him staying less daunting than either of them had expected. But he carries too many scars, and Eilis too many secrets, threatening to destroy their fragile relationship as the shadows of the past draw closer. When everything falls apart, will they save each other, or will the price be too high?

You see, in April I finished the last chapter of all my ongoing stories, which left me in a very weird mood. For 1,5 years I always had something to work on, and suddenly, there was nothing started. Sure, I had a few outlines, but nothing really called to me, with the added problem that for those, I have to figure out bullshit like politics. I needed something new. New chars I didn't know yet, a fresh story - and 🌟violence🌟 :)

I've been talking about wanting more gore with happy end, but sadly, existing OCs are so fragile, I can't even break all their bones without them dying 🙄 So it was time to fuck up another healer.

For a few weeks, I threw concepts against a wall like cooked spaghetti, grabbed whatever stuck, and then I just started. It's the first time in a year that I actually write a story without posting as I go. I can leave a little note "this sounds weird, fix later" or remember "shit, I forgot this injury" or change a name halfway in. I know. That's how a draft is supposed to work 😅

I'm at over 60k words, and it's looking good. There's a few 'first times' for me, a lot of things I love and a lot of things I am excited about. I have a rough outline of events still to happen that leaves me enough freedom to go wild. And wild I go; half of the scenes are gratuitous pain and suffering, and there will be more - but it's also a story of love and finding a place to belong. Which brings me to the next point:

I'm tired. Tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere. Of having no genre and being "just whump" because it fits nowhere else. Of being "not enough whump" while still finding myself on every squick list.

So this one's written for a target audience of some very close friends - a target audience for which I don't have to write CWs at the top of each chapter, a target audience who doesn't grow bored at the first calm moment, a target audience who will call me a bitch while asking for more pain.

I love you, pocket friends 💜

Here's the start of the book (unedited, rip):

Finnian hated dealing with sick people.

Considering the fact that he earned his money with healing, that was rather unfortunate. If he didn’t want to starve to death, he had to grit his teeth and ignore the stench of sweat and blood while taking care of coughs and aches and fever.

Sometimes, he wished he had learned something else after it had become clear that this wasn’t the right profession for him. Then he wouldn’t be sitting here, explaining to a grown ass woman that when he had told her to keep the wound clean, that included keeping the bandages away from dirty water. And that yes, it fucking hurt, because now it was infected, and if she didn’t plan on losing a finger or two, she’d better keep her hand dry and clean this time. And that perhaps, just perhaps, that was a bit more important than cleaning the windows.

Unfortunately, he had not learned anything else, so he left the house half an hour later with barely enough coins in his pocket to make up for the supplies he had used. Most roots and herbs he could gather himself, but bandages and tinctures didn’t grow on trees.

#salad-tag #WIP Wednesday #wip: till death #not in the best place lately can you tell #it's too warm i am ~stressed~ #and between staff changes and uh general focus on this site #it's all just very discouraging

[rin-and-jade]

hi there, I've been very active in researching OSDD/DID for the last few years, and it came to be that around July of 2022 I realized how many applications and descriptions fit my experience. I/we don't experience amnesia, but do experience high degrees of trance-like dissociation and DPDR regularly. I/we identify as an OSDD system, and have distinctive parts/alters, who have their own body awareness, personalities, interacting with the world, and their own names, if exclusively identified.

The problem is that there is a huge amount of imposter syndrome, and self-invalidation, since we don't remember any significant trauma that would cause such a brain thing to happen. The only things we can remember are instances of emotional invalidation (and altercations ending in panic attacks from a young age) due to caregivers figures not realizing we're autistic, or how to help us. But that doesn't feel like it's enough. With all the searching we've done, we can't recover anything more specific as a recurring trauma. It hurts, and feels like we are invalid as a system, and that without something more significant there's no way we could have developed this way.

Is this enough, depending on how the brain dealt with distress? Should we keep searching for repressed trauma?

TLDR; Imposter syndrome due to lack of trauma rememberance, and what is remembered feels "too light".

Yikes.. imposter syndrome is already a pain in the ass to deal with. I'll try my best to explain multiple things to you and all ya got to do is digest all of these and do the tips i write below ok? (long post bare with me)

Following the order, let's start with the syndrome itself. This can make a distrust between you and the memories/severity you have known,, having the mindset of seeing 'worthiness' in a simple scale (of not bad to bad enough) won't cut it apparently. First you must understand that you're easy to miss the whole point which is acknowledging you have these unpleasant memories, and that is the only proof needed.

Secondly, self invalidation hits people right in the gut. Everytime. While you can't stop it from throwing punches, you can actually learn how to dodge. In this case where invalidation is trying to beat you up hard anytime,, it's time to implement the concept of worth and acceptance. By understanding that everyone has its own worth (and the same degree/amount) and even for you, that'll dodge an uppercut of "your struggles are nothing compared to others" which is much better than getting your jaw hit and halfway in the process of understanding the truth (because it lies all the time). Having acceptance that despite how 'small' or 'not really bad' traumatic experiences makes you dodge another jab punch,, invalidation hates this as it tries to put you down for good and you're going against it. Like boxing, it takes practice to create a counterattack and be fast in dodging so if you got hit once in a while, get up again, you're doing great,, beat that shit to pulp with consistency.

Thirdly, for repressed trauma/memories. I think of this sometimes, i, myself is also aware we still have many to uncover but that isn't always the important thing to dig for. How can one be sure that it has CDD? By knowing it has one already, in fact (the presenting symptoms and struggles around it, as well as history of when it happened). Finding traces is not easy and takes lot of time,, just as an investigation case where some deed had happened (cdd) and you're tasked to understand what process/action had led to this cause by looking for clues (repressed memories) and even if you, the detective have gained profound evidence (pieces of memories, etc). Because you weren't in the crime scene or whoever was involved in the deed,, not knowing the full chronology, series of events and reasons is perfectly alright. What im telling is that you don't need to see the full picture to determine something,, with enough clues that serves as concrete evidence, it had already been sufficient.

Lastly, i say you should not chase for memories as its counterintuitive. Like taming a cat, you can't catch it that way,, and so it works similarly with this. The more you heal on yourself and other parts, it'll uncover by itself and im sure of it. So you don't have to chase anymore because it's bound to come by itself, just like a cat.

I also made this simple graph on how your issues affect each other and its outcome in my own understanding,, by having awareness that this is creating a loop, you are bound to escape/break it easier. The writings are not dyslexic-friendly so im kinda sorry on that..

This hopefully covers up everything what you're questioning and the presented struggles as well, so, i now wish you luck and feel free to come back and tell me your progress.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #plural #system stuff #sysblr #janswersask

[xardoth]

Slayer Zine #8 (1990) | Pelle Ohlin and Øystein Aarseth

Hey! Posting another interview. This one's decently long (3? pages in the zine) and it's both Dead and Euronymous answering. As before the interviewers words will be in bold and the answers will be in italic! (D: Dead, E: Euronymous)

"Do you think we can expect a new lp from you guys during 1991?

E: Yeah, we are now working hard on new trax for det next lp, and at this moment we need about 3 1/2 more before we have the 9 trax which are necessary. This time it won't be more delayed, if not something extreme happens, like if Hellhammer (drums) disappears again, Dead cuts himself too much on a gig, or I lose my passport in Albania or something....

About your lp, will it be a concept dealing with this book "De mysteriis dom sathanas" only?

D: No, it won't be a concept lp. Only one song on it will have to do about the book. But to explain a bit closer about that particular song would be weird 'cos it wasn't enough evil and it didn't fit. So we saved it to be the last book itself. I must find it before some wimpy mainstream jerk will do that I think I'll have an expedition on my own around the world to find it. It's so dark, darker than death.

Since you (Euronymous) have a certain political view, would you ever to consider to write about that in some lyrics?

E: No, that will never happen. Even though I'm active in the most extreme communist party here (Albania inspirations), I leave to the Punks to write about that in the lyrics. Nowadays tons of bands are writing "social awareness" lyrics and they still dare to call it Death Metal. BULLSHIT! I play in a Death Metal band, or maybe you should call it Black Metal, and the most important thing then is Death! Bands who claim to play Death Metal and are not into Death itself, are fakes, and can start to play punk instead. It's a big trend today to look totally normal with these goddam jogging suits and sing about "important matters", and call it Death Metal. These people can die, they have betrayed the scene. Death Metal is for brutal people who are capable of killing, it's not for idiotic children who want to have funny hobby after school. I'll write more about this later. I'll just end up saying even if I'm personally very much into studying the great works of Mao, Stalin and so on. I think the band is much more important, and Death and Black Metal is my life.

For a long time the band didn't have a rehearsal place, what did you do during this time?

D: Good question........ After that we couldn't be at the old VOMIT's place anymore we had for a very short time our own place (2 weeks or so) before they cut of the electricity and later on tore down the whole place...... By then Hellhammer had joined the band. What we did then was to find somewhere to live (well, some things go before rehearsal place). We could stay for some month mostly at each place and those have been at friends, half broken down houses, forests and camping places etc.......... But luckily it's much better now, even if we can't stay here so much longer. For really long time we were out of any place to rehearse at all and what we could do then for the band was not much else than replying on the mail.

Now much material have you written which you have thrown away? How many songs do you have now?

E: Probably 50-75% of all the riffs I make will be thrown away sooner or later, because after a while it is not good enough. I don't want to make any mainstream music, so each riff must be something special, and then it takes very long time to make the music. We have five new songs now ("Funeral Fog", "Buried By Time and Dust", "The Freezing Moon", "Pagan Fears" (and one new without any lyrics), but if you're thinking about the total number of songs which we have and will play live, it's nine songs + this new one which we will not play live before some time.

At certain times it seems like the band is living on the edge of starvation. How long can you live the life you do?

E: It's true that we've been through some hard times, generally we have very little food, but we can eat at least some bread each day. And sometimes we just don't have anything at all, and must go out to steal food to survive. These periods fortunately don't last more than a couple of weeks. It's very frustrating to live like this. It's been like this for a couple of years now. I don't know how long we can keep it going. It better change soon, or we might get some line-up problems again. I now hope the record label will help, in the last month I have been able to buy some food because of the label, and that's great. When we get some more records out, it will be better, especially when the MAYHEM lp comes.

Euronymous: what do you think of the current situation in Eastern Europe? Do you think it is good what happens??

E: "The question is a bit difficult, because there are two answers. All the revolutions you have seen in E.E. are just as they could be taken from MARX/LENIN/MAO, and the party I'm in is totally supporting it, because of the communism means total freedom, and that it should be the people who decide things, not the government or the capitalists. But on the other hand, I'm personally very fascinated by the countries like Albania, North Korea or Kampuchea, which have been running a very hard line and which have closed for the rest of the world. I really regret that I didn't get the chance to go to Romania while it was like in the old days, but at the least I'll be going to Albania soon. OK, I didn't think Romania was a very good place for people to live in, but there were other reasons for that than Ceausescu. You see, the main reasons for the problems in the Eastern Europe have been their big foreign debt and alot of corruption. Romania owed lot's of money to other countries, and Ceausescu decided to get rid of this debt quickly. So he shipped everything the country produced away, and in a couple of years he would actually have got rid of that foreign debt and Romania would have been very rich country. He could of course have avoided building himself a palace to himself, but that's the same the big capitalists do over here, and they have also got rich by exploiting people. Ceausescu was a very popular person before, also here in the West, and I still consider him as comrade.

Why do you think so many bands are trying to copy NAPALM DEATH, CARCASS, MORBID ANGEL or DEATH? Aren't people creative anymore?

E: No, creativity disappeared in the middle of the '80s. I think 95% of the bands today are worthless shit. There are just a few who manage to capture the brutality and Evil which the ancient bands like SODOM, DESTRUCTION, BATHORY, POSSESSED, VENOM, HELLHAMMER/CELTIC FROST and so on had. It's very important that the music is filled with dark moods and that the music smells of destruction, but no bands manage to do that. (Well....ED). But instead, they suddenly occur in the scene and rip off another band like ND, which has made something original. Take a bands like DECIDE. They play so incredible standard, their music is really meant for all the idiot children who started to listen to METALLICA after "Master of Puppets". The last NAPALM DEATH lp is also a part of this extremely boring mainstream which people dare to call Death Metal. I think MERCILESS (Sweden of course) play much more brutal than most of the so called Death Metal bands do today. MERCILESS really play music which feels like a jackhammer in the brain. I thin the main problem is that Death Metal is now commonly available and accepted. The underground is dead. In the ancient days, it was extremally unpopular and extreme it play in a band like MAYHEM. Most people hated us, and each time a new lp came out, it was something so raw and evil that you were freezing on your back, and you really got a kick from listening to it. Now Death Metal is commercial, and bands like CADAVER have even played played gigs for their parents. This is not good. This does not help the underground. It's killing it. Real Death Metal should be something normal people are afraid of, not something mothers can listen to. Ask any 12 year old idiot on the street which bands he or she listens to, and the answer will probably be GUNS & ROSES, METALLICA, NAPALM DEATH and MORBID ANGEL. It's all a big boring trend for idiots, and unfortunately all these idiots always start to play in bands or make a zine. When bands like MASTER'S HAMMER, ROTTING CHRIST or MERCILESS makes demo's/records. I'm happy because they bear the spirit from the ancient days when Death Metal was something evil. And I refuse to have anything with to do with all the mainstream trendies in the scene today. If I had played in a band like NAPALM DEATH I would have been so angry that I would have split up the band immediately as a protest. Death Metal should not be played on MTV or be on TOP 10, because that is killing the scene. If this ever happens to MAYHEM, if we become a trend band (which is very unlikely to happen), then I'll stop playing. That's a promise. I don't want to see MAYHEM records in supermarkets in USA like you can with ND and MORBID ANGEL.

You obiously don't like so much Hardcore. Does that include the people who plays it, or is it the music you dislike only?

D: I don't listen to Hardcore. And I don't like the people. I don't hate Hardcore itself, but what it later became when all those "attitude" which seemed to include bermuda shorts, baseball caps, and so fuckin' on. I think it was trend and I hated it til those vegetarians switched to make something else fashionable instead. Which was the same such crap of course, but then I didn't hate Hardcore anymore.....

Now something about your label. What do you listen to when you decide to sign a band?

E: I just have to like them alot. If I like them, it means that they are not one of the mainstream idiot bands, and that is enough for me. If the bands look like old SARCOFAGO/HELLHAMMER, it is the best of course, but I give the bands total freedom concerning everything. I generally hate bands who wear light clothes and jogging suits and shit like that, but even if a band looks totally boring, I'll sign them if they make really good music. MERCILESS.....they don't look exactly brutal, but I just love their music so much. If I had to choose between signing them and MORBID ANGEL, I'd sign MERCILESS without delaying a second. Also I love Satanic bands, but I don't care if they sing about eating carrots, if the music is great.

What kind of deals do you give the bands?

E: We pay all the recording and pressing costs, and then we split the profit 50/50 with the band. That's the only fair way of doing it.

Do you have any written contracts and so on?

E: Yeah, we always have written contracts. There are two things which are good when we do it that way: Both sides will know exactly what they can expect of the other, so no misunderstandings can occur. In the contract it will be written how much they get, when the get it and so on. It's the best for the band.  It will be written that we have total copyright and ownership of all recorded material, cover and master tapes. This is of course not to prevent the band using this material themselves, but if they get signs by some  capitalist label some day, the label will of course try to get the rights for themselves so they can suck more money out of it. And it's this which we will prevent. After we released the MERCILESS lp, MERCILESS were contact by Active Records (who have released CANDLEMASS, ATHEIST etc), who wanted to buy the rights. If they had done that, we wouldn't have been able to sell anything at all, and we'd lose tons of money and maybe we couldn't have continued the label. Because we had the contract, Active had to contact us instead, and we refused of course, even though they offered us alot of money. I think we should get about $30000, but we told them to fuck off. On the contract with MERCILESS we hadn't thought about getting the rights for the cover, and this has now resulted in that CBR (the label MERCILESS is signed to now) has made t-shirts with the cover, and we can't do anything about it. We always learn from the faults we do, and we'll not repeat that on the next record. So the contract is not for controlling the band, it's for avoiding being ripped off by money hungry labels.

How many copies do you reckon to sell of each release?

E: It's a bit hard to say, because we have only released one record which has not been on the marked for a very long time. I'm sure about selling somewhere between 4-6000 records, but I hope for 10.000!

In how many countries do you have distribution?

E: So far we have been concentrating on Europe. We've sold quite a lot in France, Germany and Greece, and Sweden of course. I've also sent some records to Japan. 60-70 I think, and a few to Australia. But lately I have started to send some packages to South and Central America as well, and will continue with that and expand into North America soon. I've contacts in about 55 countries now, but not all of them are possible to send records to the Eastern Europe, USSR, and the poorest countries of Asia/South America, because the records are extremally expensive for them, even if I give them the cheapest price possible. It's realistic to think that I'll be selling records to about 45 countries, and more later.

You have produced the MORTEM ep "Slow Death". Is this something you will do again? Producing, etc...?

E: I don't know. If someone wants me to help, I'll of course help them as good as I can, but I'm not a good producer as I haven't been much in the studio myself. But there is one thing I'm aware of which professional producers are not, and that is that it is not enough to give the band clear and good sound. You must also put forward the identity of the band so they don't sound like all the other bands. This really lacks on all the new records today. Just listen to MORGOTH, OBITUARY and so on. All the producer has managed to do is to rip off Death and make a standard sound. It's important to get a totally special sound like the first albums of SEPULTURA, BATHROY, DESTRUCTION, SODOM, POSSESSED, CARCASS, SARCOFAGO etc. had. It sounds much more brutal that way. Listen to SODOM or SEPULTURA now. One thing is that their music stinks, but the sound is weak and polished. I think it sounds shit.

Are you still planning to record your lp in France? Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to record it in Sweden or Norway?

D: No, we won't (record it in France). According to the delay of more than two years many plans for recording as well as touring have screwed. When I had the idea of going to that studio in France, it was 'cos we'd heard they got some promotion from somewhere and it would be almost free to record anything there. That was why. Now, we just hope we will make it with "Kællen", the dude who engineered for CADAVER, as the producer. It will probably be in Norway.

Have you been in contact with our friend Marci lately?

E: This is very irritating, because we have just heard that he has moved to Chicago! How he managed to do that is a mystery, but our revenge will hit him there as well. Unfortunately, the poison we gave him wasn't strong enough to kill him, but I won't rest before he is dead. Coming to America was his dream, and we hate that he probably is happy now. But we also know that the poison caused him pain and that he suffers a lot from it, and in the end he'll also probably get cancer...... if we don't kill him before that. He's going to die.

Dead, did you think of Mayhem before you joined? Do you think you have changed the musical and lyrical direction of Mayhem?

D: When I heard "Pure Fucking Armageddon" it's no bullshit that I thought it was the most brutal I've heard, and I think it still is. You know that at that time Necro's lyrics were Black Metal. It's not the same on "Deathcrush", and then it wasn't only Necro who wrote the lyrics. The "Deathcrush" lyrics aren't bad at all but they are later what became gore or trendy. I'm now writing what I think is Black Metal from my view. But I must say that I think my lyrics are different from eachother. So far I've been the one to write the new lyrics, except for some we dropped. I hope this will change, but we have some problems to cooperate. Necro + me will do a better try to work something out in the future. It must be black metal! I think everything has drifted away from what it once was, or should be. After VENOM'S "At war with Satan" the scene died and the trends clone bands and mainstreams appeared instead. Everything comes from our Almighty VENOM so no one can say their influences come from something else. Even if they think they are something original by wearing "normal" clothes and succeed in looking 100% boring. Wimps shall die and only VENOM was real. That was the scene! And that is what I try to pick up in lyrics, what I think black metal was.

As we know, Death Metal is the new trend, but do you think it will fade away like crossover and grindcore once did?

E: All trends will sooner or later die, and I will welcome the death of the trendy "Death" Metal people who are just fakes in my opinion. I think and hope that in one year, only the true people will be left and the others have gone back to disco or whatever they listened to before they "discovered" MORBID ANGEL. I'd like to see a scene where the music is something gruesome and evil that normal people fear, and where the people in the scene all look like HELLHAMMER or old SARCOFAGO, spikes and chains rule! The scene must also be out of reach for normal idiots, because I think it only should be for extreme people. If someone thinks this is stupid and that the scene should be openminded, have various attitudes etc etc...then he is one of the persons I don't want to see our gigs. I don't mind if most of the idiots in the scene hates me and think I look stupid in corpsepaint, black clothes and spikes, because MAYHEM is not for them. My parents don't like MAYHEM, but I think this is how it should be. Just the same - it's not the idea that every idiot shall like us either. If all idiots in the scene, or if my parents liked us, then something would be wrong. Sore throat and ENT are right - the scene is dead. I'd just like to save the rest of it and create a new one with only brutal people. Everyone else - Fuck off. Our music is just as much for you as for my parents.

Do you like Norwegian bands? Do you think the Norwegian bands are a bit more original?

E: I like BALVAS, CADAVER, DARKTHRONE and IMMORTAL (Ex Amputation). THY ABHORRENT is also ok. By the way, watch out for a possible lp of IMMORTAL on DSP. If you want to listen to bands that are really original, then listen to ROTTING CHRIST! Their music is so Dark, so BRUTAL!! ARGH!

What will be the ultimate goal for MAYHEM? What is what you think you will manage to do during your career?

E: I don't know if we have any ultimate goal, for me it would be perhaps to play live in Albania, North Korea, Laos, Vietnam or Kampuchea. But the other guys may have other ideas about this. I'd also be happy if we could continue to release records without too much problems, and manage to make a living out of that + the label without having to sell records to mainstream people. This lowlife should not have any access to Death Metal.

Finally, do you know what the ex members of MAYHEM are up to now?

E: Yeah, we have more or less contact with all of them, but some of them live their own lives and we see them only rarely. This especially goes for Manheim and Messiah. Manheim is married with an idiot chick and is working in an insurance company. He has become a totally normal person. Messiah is only into Hardcore as far as I know, and he has some strange Hardcore band (Within' Range) I don't even know where he lives now, but sooner or later he will turn up again. Yesterday I got the new IMPOSTOR demo where he does the vocals, so he still lives. The Vomit guys are playing in a band called BØRRE OG BLØDERNE which is some kind of strange punk. I haven't seen them for quite some time either. But Maniac has been in regular contact with us, he was here some weeks ago, he's still the same old dude."

#pelle ohlin #øystein aarseth #true norwegian black metal #mayhem #lords of chaos #necrobutcher #euronymous #dead #hellhammer #jan axel blomberg #jørn stubberud #black metal #death metal #metalhead

[rougarouuu]

Currently thinking about Robin Buckley from Stanger Things

I just finished listening to Rebel Robin, the podcast, and so this post is confined to JUST the context of that series, so heads up, there's gonna be spoilers ahead! Read at your own risk!

!! SPOILERS AHEAD !!

I loved Rebel Robin so so much. And like, I love how much of an in-depth look we get to take on her character in this series. Like yeah, we get to see her through the series, but since this is so focused on her we get to see more of a look at her inner monologue.

I think my favorite part of the podcast (and I have a few favorites) was Robin explaining to Mr. Hauser that she doesn't want to stand out too much, even academically, because she needs to stay in her camouflage. This happens in Episode three, "The Inferno" (thank you to @clowns-are-cool for making a transcript of the podcast!!) Mr. Hauser and Robin discuss this in which Mr. Hauser asks her why she's reading Dante's Inferno in the original translation, and she says that she "likes a challenge." When Mr. Hauser asks her why she isn't in advanced classes, Robin explains that she tries so hard to be painfully average and go unnoticed. They have a bit of a back-and-forth, jumping from topic to topic, and eventually, it shifts to Barb, but that's not what I'm referring to here.

Robin, in this scene, breaks down what I think a lot of people feel, and I know that I felt like this myself in High school and I'm breaking out of that now in college, but -- the mindset that you can't stick out too much or you'll be mocked no matter what. Robin's fear of being the nerd, fear of being chewed up by "The Hawkins Monster", which is really just high school society breaking you down until you fit in, and Robin doesn't want to lose her individuality. And this kind of goes back to her saying the following:

"I hope so. Because otherwise- If I'm totally honest with myself I'm scared of really truly rebelling and it feels like I'm close sometimes you know? Like I'm almost someone who is unique and interesting and unafraid but the camouflage is working too well and I'll turn into someone who never fights at all because I never decided who I wanted to be and I worry that if I- If I don't figure it out soon that someone else is going to decide for me" -Rebel Robin: Surviving Hawkins Episode 2, "Frankenstein"

She explains that she gets really close to rebelling, but doesn't. But what I don't think she understands is that her teetering on the edge of society by not fitting in and pushing back against the expectations and trying to fight "the system" is a bit of a rebel against society. She IS someone whos interesting and unique, maybe not entirely unafraid but she still gets close to it with how brave she is for following behind Dash in "The Outsiders" (Ep. 5), and saving Mr. Hauser from being essentially stalked. She is all of these things she just doesn't realize it because she doesn't fit her idealized version of this description, I think. She has decided for herself, she just doesn't see it yet.

Another thing that I really love is the way that Robin puts two and two together about Mr. Hauser's sexuality in the end, and she doesn't make it a big deal. She has her moment of realization, and she processes it, and then she immediately hatches a plan to protect her favorite teacher. She immediately came up with a plan to keep him safe and threatened Dash into staying in line, essentially, with her false accusation of pulling the fire alarm. Personally, I love this scene because it shows her connection with someone else on a deeper level than just "outsiders in this society", it's beyond that. It goes into Robin seeing someone like her. Seeing someone who is unconventional and, while afraid to be himself, still becomes a role model and is still passionate about his job and the life he's made for himself. And I know that some people might think that that twist is so unnecessary and not needed, but I think it's a key part of Robin coming to terms with herself and her own sexuality. I think that's why the smile that Mr. Hauser gives her at the end means. The happy-yet-sad smile. I think he's happy that she's coming to terms with herself, but he's sad that she's going to have to live her life in fear and not be open about herself, either. He sees himself in her. He sees his potentially awkward, askance, fifteen-year-old self who didn't fit in anywhere trying so badly to figure out why the system is so against him. And he sees it in Robin throughout this entire time that they get to know each other. He's happy that she has someone she can see herself in but he's sad because he's been along the same exact journey that Robin's walking on and he knows it isn't easy.

I have so much more I can say on this podcast but I also want to read the book, so I might ramble more and more every now and again but I wanna get the full picture before I make any assumptions. This post was entirely impulsive though so who knows what'll happen. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk :) Feel free to add on / comment / ask anything I'm so absorbed into this world right now /pos

#stranger things #Robin Buckley #robin buckley kin #rebel robin #stranger things rebel robin #stranger things infodumping #i love robin so so much #i mean seriously look at her shes such a well written character #infodumping #infodump #stranger things book #stranger things 3 #stranger things 4 #st3 #st4 #robin buckley rebel robin #mr hauser #stranger things: rebel robin

[mareenavee]

Similar ask to yours! How does music play into your creative process? Can you share passages written to specific tracks? How do they tie together? And is there a difference between how your write when there are words/lyrics vs instrumental music?

Hello again!!! AHHH I love this. Thank you for returning this question to me. Music and creativity go hand in hand for me, and I definitely have some snippets to share. By virtue of the question, this one is gonna be a LONG post lol

So first, I'll preface this by saying most of the perfect-music-finding happens after writing because I can't always pay attention to the lyrics of what's playing in the background while I'm writing. I use music while writing for the most part to drown out other sounds that are more capable of distracting and/or annoying me. (Usually other people speaking, which might be mean but it's true. That and tv sound effects.)

I'll also just blast music with the intent on singing at the top of my lungs if I'm going through a relatively mindless task for work, and sometimes will need to pause and throw songs on a project's list. I'll get into that below the cut. It's mostly just a way that I can create space for myself to be creative in a normally noisy environment.

ANYWAY. Songs will start to remind me of things I've written and sometimes fit so perfectly, they get thrown on a project's playlist and I'll go back in to read the lyrics later and decide what order they'll go in or if they'll be tossed on another playlist as well. Most of my projects have their own list. I have two general fiction lists -- one contains songs with a sort of different mood than the other -- and another specifically made with my fic in mind. I also have a campaign inspo list for dnd things, and a folder of character-specific lists regarding dnd things, too. In the same way that artists might collect references to inspire them, I save songs that inspire me and remind me of my projects. And sometimes I'll listen to the list I made for a project while working on it, which is just pure happiness lol

So in regards to finding perfect songs for specific chapters or scenes, it's less "perfect" than it is just a close reminder of the mood of said chapter, I think. Sometimes a song is closer to perfect than others. Sometimes a lot of songs fit the mood I'm going for in a chapter.

Here's a small snippet of chapter 8 of The World on Our Shoulders, already published, and one of the songs I paired with the chapter. (I know you guys love Sad!Athis from the last snippet of the chapter, and I do too, and this is one with a particularly good song match. In fact, I used the lyrics as part of the chapter title.)

Tears began to well in his eyes. He missed her badly. Even if she didn’t care that he wasn’t there with her, he cared deeply that she’d been missing from him for so long. He used to have such a full life, always traveling. Always fighting. Maybe he had slacked off with training, but he felt strong, then. At the moment, he felt nothing of the sort. The best memories he had ever had in his life were now tinged with this darkness. With this loss he could barely explain. It had been his fault, he knew. There was blame, and it was his. He could have said anything other than goodbye. He could have begged her to say. He could have gotten off his ass and ran after her. He could have done any number of things, but instead he watched her go. He watched her, and never inserted himself into the adventure. Part of him knew, even then, that she didn’t want him there. She said she wanted him to stay safe. Between the lines, she had really said she’d been disappointed in him. That he had been a distraction, if anything. That, perhaps, hurt worse than the rest of it. That so suddenly, she could decide such things. That she could inflict this kind of pain. That Nyenna, of all people, could be so venomous.

She had been his whole world at the beginning. He had been so taken with her. He had watched her decide to be strong, after he had saved her, that first day. She made the choice every day to do her best. While he had been waiting for her to catch up with him, she had flown by, surpassing his skills in every way. Especially after the first dragon. She…didn’t need to be saved. Didn’t need to be rescued. How long had he held onto the notion that she did? He didn’t know how to be anything else but her rescuer. And she didn’t even see him that way anymore. And he never really clarified what she did see. Never asked her what she wanted. What her goals were. Nobody ever did anymore, not since the Greybeards had called her to her destiny.

Athis was exhausted. The weight of his thoughts, his worries, his sadness had him crumbling. Once, he could have turned to her and she’d take it all away. One kiss, one glance, and he would be okay again. She was his home, his shelter, his safety. He thought he’d given her that, too, but like with everything else, her path had taken this from her as well.

And the song:

This is one that fit particularly well. Like I said, I used some of its lyrics for this chapter's title. I think it embodies the emotion Athis is feeling here, terribly missing the whirlwind closeness he and Nyenna shared before destiny took that away from them both. It has this visceral sort of regret in the lyrics, especially "And then I can tell myself / What the hell I'm supposed to do / And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you." And it just kind of worked when I heard it again after I'd written this chapter.

For a happier fragment, have something out of the WIP, Chapter 47. Out of context, of course (:

The giant Khajiit came into view. He held Nyenna close to his chest, breathing heavily as if he had been running. Her shirt clung to her, skin slicked with sweat, despite the chill in the air down here. Her hair was damp and loose, and she was paler than death. She lifted her head from Ma’jhad’s chest and inhaled sharply. She tapped his shoulder and he threw her a concerned glance, but stooped to lower her to the stones. He supported her as she tried to stand on unsteady legs. She took a step and her knees collapsed, but the Khajiit warrior held her firmly. She looked at him and nodded, about to try again, but Teldryn sprinted and closed the distance. He lit the torch on the wall and dismissed his spell. Nyenna let out a weak chuckle as he collapsed onto his knees and scooped her into his arms. Ma’jhad stood tall again and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.

“Are you real?” Nyenna asked softly, placing both of her burning hot hands on either side of his face. “Am I awake?”

“I’m here,” Teldryn said, finding he was weeping. She wiped his tears away as he grabbed onto her wrist with one hand and gently ran his knuckles down her cheek. Tears welled in her eyes. There was so much grief there, but still she smiled. He pushed a sodden curl away from her face.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” she breathed as the tears started to overflow.

“I’m here. I’m alright. I’m so sorry it took me so long to get back to you,” Teldryn whispered. He tried to wipe his eyes on his shoulder but she held onto his face firmly. He just let his tears keep falling. “Can you forgive me, merdekhes?”

She smiled, her own tears still running freely down her face, and ran her hand through his overgrown hair.

“I never blamed you, not for a second,” she whispered. “There’s nothing to forgive. I apologize for putting us in danger to begin with.” Her eyes went dark, and she closed them against the obvious wave of sorrow. She opened them and ran her fingers through his hair once again with another tear-streaked smile.

“Don’t,” Teldryn soothed. “None of this is on you. We’re here together. It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you now.”

He pulled her into a tight embrace which she returned as she shook with sobs that mixed with relieved laughter. What madness it was to be reunited, that all the horrors they both faced could melt away at one touch, to fill the spaces left behind with joy. He could hear the gathering crowd. Niranye gasped as she stopped halfway down her basement stairs. Nyenna pulled away and gently placed her hands on either side of his face again. She lightly traced his tattoos with the tips of her fingers, almost like she thought he would disappear on her in between one blink and the next if she did not check again. When she spoke, her voice sounded like something ethereal, like her words had been granted gravity by Mara Herself.

“I love you, Teldryn. I should have said a thousand, thousand times by now.”

She wiped away more tears from his cheek. For half a second, he thought maybe he was still walking between reality and dreams. But he took both of her hands in his and they were solid, and warm, and he had never been more sure of anything in life before.

And the song:

I just love this song. It's *chef's kiss* anyway for me. But particularly for Teldryn, after everything the two of them had been through, the past didn't matter anymore. They'd been reunited after some difficult events. Distance, maybe, brought clarity. And Teldryn realized fully what the implications of this meant. That he was worthy of being loved. (backstory things here.) That his love mattered to someone. And damn the consequences, right? At this point, anyway. There's more to it, but spoilers and all. (:

And for the last part of the question -- there's no difference for me while writing to music with lyrics or without. It depends on what I feel like hearing at that particular moment. To be fair, sometimes I won't listen to anything at all, especially if I am closely editing something. But as I mentioned above, music is definitely mostly intertwined in being creative. It's a source of inspiration for me, and a reminder to always be thinking about my stories (: Never know when song lyrics might call back to them unexpectedly!

Hope that was comprehensive enough :D

#AskMareena #MareenaWrites #The World on Our Shoulders #Nyenna #Teldryn Sero #Athis #LDB/Teldryn Sero #LDB/Athis #Skyrim #Elder Scrolls #tesblr #writeblr #fanficblr #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #skyrim fic #skyrim fanfic #skyrim fanfiction

[hometownrockstar]

one time i got this youtube vid recommended to me that was titled smth like "How to write a good twist" and it compared the story twists in Invincible and Squid Games (spoilers for just Squid Games in this post, in case you havent seen it for some reason) and i was like yeah i'll bite bc i like both those shows. so i watched it and boiling down the difference between these twists is: rewatching while knowing Invincible's twist recontextualizes many off-hand moments and lines in a satisfying way, while knowing Squid Game's twist makes those moments worse on a rewatch. and watching this i agreed with the way he explained it, i think he made good points as to why squid game's twist is bad in a typical storywriting way especially compared to invincible which does those typical ways well, but i ended the video disagreeing based on my own experience when i first watched squid game.

I dont think the twist in Squid Game is genius or anything, but the reaction other people had to it caught me off-guard, as they seemed to think it was for shock, or just dumb, or like how that video guy said, ruined the "touching" moments with Oh Il-nam in hindsight. but for me, while watching the scene in the room with the clock, i tried to think abt how it fits into the anticapitalist metaphor the entire show is based and themed around. Contrasting Gi-hun's refusal to use his newly gained wealth to better himself or anything around him with Il-nam's selfish desires to simply have fun in spite of how many die because of it and how he knows his money cushions him from responsibility or any risk in the games unlike the other contestants. and Gi-hun realizing that he isnt like Il-nam, and that he has to move past his survivor's guilt to help others with what he has, the same way he helped Il-nam during the games despite it being a much greater risk to him with no reward.

Taking these thoughts and keeping them in mind during a rewatch, i dont believe it ruins any of those moments for me. it doesnt make them happier or more optimistic, but it recontextualizes this character and his actions and roles into a new metaphor for people under capitalism (as i believe every character represents a different facet of how people navigate through it, whether it be through force, deception, or kindness and community). Before the twist, Il-nam is an elderly man with no family, healthcare or social programs to properly take care of him. he is also seen as a burden on others by those also in the games, refusing to compromise themselves to help him. thus, Gi-hun's actions have always felt like the centerpiece of this relationship to me, showing that you need to stand by one another and protect the most vulnerable, and how this isnt naiveté but bravery. its also strategic, as his kindness and ideas had helped him and others many times throughout the games. brute force and deception arent the only ways to make it.

but when the twist is realized, it shows that Il-nam was never at risk. his money and power as well as his knowledge of the games beforehand always protected him from facing consequences and gave him an undue advantage, one that is overlooked by the floormaster despite stating previously that the fairness in the game is the most important element. Gi-hun going out of his way to help him and this directly leading him surviving several of the games and finally winning, only to find out the seemingly pathetic old man everybody avoided had played a hand in his victory in the end, this sounds like a happy ending to a fable about teaching kindness. but it obviously isnt, as its supposed to be a souring twist, one meant to make you feel like Gi-hun: cheated and just as guilty as Il-nam is. but Gi-hun is able to refuse to go along with his selfish games or concede that it was all worth it in the end, and return to his kind ways he had lost after the game.

this is why i dont think its a bad twist solely based on whether it makes the touching moments between Il-nam and Gi-hun feel bad in hindsight. rather, it emphasizes Gi-hun's uncompromising morals and reasserts them in the end when he confronts Il-nam. and i think a twist isnt bad or good based on whether those moments feel "ruined" again, but instead if they recontextualize it and fit the broader themes of the story in a satisfying way. but i dont like saying this or that trope or rule of writing is THE way to write things, thats the whole reason i wrote this post actually, to show why i disagree with that single view of how a twist "should" be written.

#read my squid game analysis post NOW.

[residentdormouse]

Fanfic Asks

A, D, F, J, T

I'll leave the fic up to you - talk to me about your favourite!

💖 Thank You for the Asks! 💖

I reordered a bit for spoiler purposes - hope you don’t mind.

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Something like a Spiral - Honestly, probably should have just went straight ‘Spiral’, but too late, no take backs, it stuck. Its a song - Spiral by Godsmack. Very thematic to the whole story. Randall Flagg’s fuckery and being stuck in these reiterations. It just… fit.

Just Keep Diving Down - ‘the rabbit hole’ would finish it off. Reference to Alice in Wonderland (Are we really surprised here? It's kind of my whole thing…) I mean hell, Glen has the line “Let’s see how far down the rabbit hole goes.” which I have plastered on my Tumblr header. To completely solidify the decision, I heard it in ‘White Rabbit’ by Central Egypt when I was debating titles as well. While the song doesn’t completely fit the whole vibe, it stuck.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

Oh boy, and how. I’m crazy with my playlists. While there are story playlists, I much prefer my character playlists. Oh it’s a Glen chapter, let's vibe for a bit. Lloyd? Ok, switch it up. Etc. I have all of my playlists on Spotify, and linked in my ‘Jumping to Wonderland’ main post.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I really liked how this turned out, because it was one of those times where I hit a block. I wanted Glen to be comforting, stop her from crying, and it wasn’t flowing right. Felt stale. So I talked with @impuretale , and she gave me sage advice: What if he made it worse? And that worked. Well, at least I hoped it did…

Laughter mingled amongst her crying. While his smile met his eyes in that familiar twinkle, it still pulled at her heart. “I don’t know that I can protect you.”

"Maybe you can't, Giggles…"

It hit her like a punch to the gut. Her stomach dropped while his smile remained. Twinkling eyes while her insides felt hollowed out. "Maybe this is what was always meant to be. And maybe there's some truth in what he told you."

Her breathing started to quicken in pace, and she attempted to hold it in her lungs if only to feel some sort of control. How could he say that? New tears stung her eyes, and the burn went all the way to her throat where she held back the air desperately wanting to escape in a breath.

"Maybe you shouldn't ‘waste your energy on dead men’, as he put it. You need it for him. To make this all mean something."

She couldn't hold it any longer, and the tears broke past once more. He pulled her back in another embrace, and she buried her face into his chest as the sobs racked her body. He held her solid, reassuring and comforting while still completely shattering her heart. There was no holding back now; these were harsh truths she might have to accept. Her breathing began to even out as he rubbed circles on her back. Once it was regulated, he pulled away; just enough to look her in the eyes.

"Mother Abagail said that we need to have faith. I'm not sure what's beyond here. God. An afterlife. Heaven. Hell. I don't have much faith in all that. But I have faith in you. If this is going to be successful, you'll need to be ready for him."

He put a hand on her cheek, and her shoulders slumped down, head leaning forward to rest against his. A brief moment passed before he urged her to look back at him. Her eyes still shimmered wet, but held anything further at bay.

“So what do you say, Giggles? Give this another shot?”

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

I mean, if it's well written, I’ll read just about anything. I don’t tend to seek out stuff like A/B/O, and honestly, not into a whole lot of overly explicit smut without a good solid plot to accompany. (I know I know - I write it, but I’m smut light, at best.) Plot heavy and hurt/comfort is my jam. But again, if it's written well, I usually don’t have any ‘no go’s. 

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

Going with ‘Just Keep Diving Down’, and since this is major spoilers - putting below a cut.

The major character death aspect of this really fucking destroyed me. Since you’re here, you most likely don’t care about spoilers, so towards the end, Glen dies. Again. The thing I started writing these goddamn stories to fix. I struggled with this for months. In denial. Not happy. Very upset. (Hell, I still am. Can’t listen to ‘Run Away to Mars’ without crying anymore because it was the song playing when I was writing it all.)  I knew the goal was to bring him back, ghost form. Gives him the best of both worlds then, travel with Hayden to new worlds pain free, while still being able to see his prior wife. Win win. Still fucking hurt.

So alternate would have been Not. Fucking. Doing. That. It was the original plan. Hayden and Glen were going to be working for the organization still, taking things in a better direction. That was the goal, and one day, my Glen muse hit me with a ‘yeah, you won’t like this, but…’ Why couldn’t we just follow the plan guys? WHY CAN’T WE FOLLOW THE PLAN?!

(Fanfic Writer Ask Game)

#thank you for asking #mouse's tag games and reblogs

[zackpacklol]

Omori X Undertale AU + Castings

I've seen people draw Omori WITH Undertale Characters, even an entire Comic based off Combining Omori and Undertale, but what about an actual AU of Undertale where it's Omori Characters instead? Buckle in, Boys & Girls. Cause this will be a long one.

Before anything, I should mention: I won't be explaining how Neutral and Genocide work in this AU (mainly because I would like to have functional fingerprints by the end of this) but I will mention how some Genocide Actions will function and maybe even some dialogue if you choose Genocide when we get to the Castings.

(Feel free to skip the story part, it has next to nothing to do with the Castings, Consider the Castings as their own separate thing)

(btw a little side note here: I'll address Frisk as They/Them for reasons I don't think I need to explain)

For the story of Pacifist? Well, let's say that Mt. Ebott was somewhere near Faraway, and after about...let's say 4 months since Frisk frees all of the monsters & Sunny confesses the truth, (yes, they both just by some coincidence do the same thing at the exact same time and date, don't question it) they decide to travel to Faraway with Toriel, because recently, Toriel's been hearing about a Bake off that'll include Monsters from all around the world, unfortunately, no Human contestants or spectators are allowed. Since she wants to go but doesn't want Frisk to be home alone at the same, what does she do instead of having one of her friends come babysit Frisk? Drop Frisk off at a random town called "Faraway" and come pick them back up when she's done at the Bake off, leaving Frisk all by their lonesome until then. What a responsible parent! Don't worry, Toriel leaves Frisk a Sleeping Bag, a portable tent, as well as some G so that they can both buy drinks and food forself.

With that out of the way, let's do some Casting already! Let's start with a HUGE one:

Hero as Sans: I know some people would probably interpret Kel as Sans (bc he's a short king compared to his brother) but there's actually a good few reasons why Hero as Sans would make more sense:

Both have a......charming smile? I wouldn't exactly define Sans's smile as charming, but I think Tumblr would hardly disagree with me.

Both are known for getting tired very easily. Mean, Sans spends most of his undead life asleep, and Hero can barely run for more then ten seconds without huffing and puffing all over the place.

That one scene where Sunny has to choose the taller brother. That whole scene made me wanna make a post like this, for good reason, too! That interaction had "Sans & Papyrus" energy written all over it.

Both can demolish you if you make them mad enough. If you have seen any artwork where Sunny confuses the truth & we get too see the friend's reactions, you definitely know what I'm talking about. There's a reason why RW Hero's only useable weapon is "Hands".

This.

I mean come on, do I really need to explain?

(looking back on this makes feel like matpat lol)

I think that's enough reasons, now here's some Genocide ideas for the "Hero" fight that I think could be cool:

Hero would dodge like normal, but instead of having dodging 50 times like regular Sans, he'd only dodge 10-15 times, meaning once he is tired & can no longer dodge, he gives the classic Sans friendship monologue and offers mercy. BUT BUT BUT-

hear me out

Phase 2?

Yeah, Omori!Tale Hero would have a Phase 2, but what that Phase has, I don't have an idea.

It'd be one of two things:

1. He would "Catch" the knife before it hits him, grabbing it out of the players hand and throwing to the side, resorting you to fight Hero Knife-less until he blacks outs. Once your able to finally black out Hero, you must regain your lost knife and finish the job. (very brutal I know, but hey! So is Omori, so it fits)

or opinion 2, another Brutal one, even more messed up then the first.

You actually stab him in the chest, but instead of instantly dying, he continues to fight you as he bleeds out. (this is thanks to him having the most HEART out of everybody in the main party, which in this context doesn't make sense This path also brings a new-ish mechanic: You can choose to infinity guard until he bleeds out and win, or you can risk it and choose "FIGHT" to speed up this process by literally punching the knife deeper into the wound. Just like how when Sunny was explaining the truth.

WHICH ONE WINS?!!? YOU DECIDE! /j

Anywho, here's some Omori!Tale Hero Dialogue (in only some particular order):

Omori!Tale Hero: Sunny...Aubrey...Basil...Kel...They're all Depending on me...

Omori!Tale Hero:

YOU'RE SUCH A NUISANCE, (PLAYER NAME)!

Omori!Tale Hero:

W-well, I'm g-g-going to GINO'S...

*Omori!Tale Hero walks off screen*

Omori!Tale Hero:

O-oh hey M-mari...want a p-p-pizza......?

(btw the stuttering is bc of the knife in his stomach)

Well, I think I make this multiple parts bc I think if I don't I'm somehow gonna find a word limit on Tumblr. (even if there is one) By the way, I'm hoping Part 2 will mainly JUST be castings, Genocide Actions & Dialogue, ect, I can't promise that.

Click This when Part 2 comes out

#sans #undertale #omori #sunny omori #omori game #omori hero #undertale sans #undertale toriel #undertale papyrus #undertale frisk #frisk #papyrus #toriel #omori kel #kel omori #omori au #undertale au #crossover #undertale spoilers #omori spoilers