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evilgaygothgf · 1 year

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I Know What I Said

Quackity x reader (any pronouns)

Please send in requests!! I’m aching in my bones for things to write please please please

“I’m not looking for anything right now.”

The words repeated in your mind day and night, gripping and tugging at your heart. You’ve wanted to admit your feeling to Alex for the past few months after coming to terms that they wouldn’t just go away on their own. You’ve know him for over a year now, and the feelings only keep growing stronger. “The worst he can say is no,” is what your friends kept telling you, but he’s already said the worst thing in your opinion.

“I’m not looking for anything right now.”

You thought you’d bring up the topic of dating in general to him and try to gauge his feelings before admitting your own first. Kind of just beat around the bush. You thought maybe he’d just come out and admit he had a crush on you and then you could easily slip in how you felt about him too. Or maybe he’d pull the old “well my friend has a crush on their close friend they’ve known for a while but he just doesn’t know how to confess without ruining their friendship” and you could respond with “well he’ll never know unless he confesses, right?” and then he’d confess his feelings and turn out to be the “friend” who wanted to confess the whole time. Just like in movies and fanfics, right? Right? Wrong.

When you brought up the topic he went into a full rundown of how he just doesn’t see himself dating anyone anytime soon because he’s just so busy with his career right now and blah blah blah. As soon as he started talking you had just tuned it all out. His voice was drowned out by the voice in your head telling you to pull it together and choke down the icky feeling in your chest. The unrequited feeling. The only part of his entire response you heard loud and clear was the part you keep hearing play over and over in your head.

“I’m not looking for anything right now.”

Well shit. What do you do now? Respond with a chuckle and a “haha yeah me either”? Cut him off and tell him that he’s wrong and that you’re what he should be looking for? Admit your feeling regardless? Your thoughts were cut off by him asking you the question right back. “Sorry I feel like I really went on for a while. I didn’t mean to unload all that on you. Anyway, what’s your opinion on dating stuff?”

He asked the question so simply like he had no idea why you had asked him in the first place. “Umm,” you started, “well I mean yeah I guess I can see where you’re coming from. I guess I’d feel the same way if I was in your shoes. I don’t know. I guess for me dating is just like something I’m ready for now in my life. Im kind of tired of being single honestly, but hey, you know at least I’ve got you around, right?”

Alex grinned at the end of your last sentence. “Yeah, of course! I’ll always be here as your best friend so you don’t have to feel like a loner,” he chuckled. “But hey, you know if you’re trying to look for someone I’ll be the best wingman to ever walk this earth. And if anyone starts giving you shit or mistreating you, send em to me.” He turned from you and started throwing punches at the air and you couldn’t help but throw your head back in laughter. Alex was such an amazing friend to you and you started to wonder if wanting him as more than a friend was too much to ask in the first place. You were already lucky enough to have him care for you on a friendship level. The words still plagued your mind regardless.

“I’m not looking for anything right now.”

It’s been over a month since that happened and you continued to hang out with Alex like normal. You tried so hard to push your feelings for him down and appreciate the friend you had in him. The two of you had been hanging out all day and at the end of the night, he offered to drive you back home. The car ride to your place was more quiet than usual; void of loud music and laughter. It had been a long and eventful day and you were both exhausted from all you had done that day.

Alex pulled the car up to the front of your place and you reached to the floorboard of the car to grab your things and tell him goodnight before getting out. Before you could unbuckle your seatbelt, Alex’s voice broke the silence.

“Hey. I just…can I tell you something?”

“Uh yeah sure,” you responded as you placed your hands back in your lap and turned your body to better face him in the car.

He looked down from your face to his cup from the fast food restaurant you both ate at earlier as he played with the straw. “I lied. I lied to you and I’m sorry.”

You were too confused to respond as your mind raked through all of the things he could’ve possibly lied to you about.

He started up again, “I know I..well when we talked before…fuck like I didn’t mean to really say-“

“Alex spit it out. You’re making me nervous,” you said in a half speaking and half laughing voice trying to cover up the waver in your voice. Your fingers were already toying with each other as you tried to ease your nerves for whatever was to come.

“y/n I know this is gonna be awkward and I’m so sorry but I should’ve said it then and I’ve been making myself sick trying to think of a time to tell you this.” He brushed the pieces of hair back that were falling over his eyes as he finally looked back up to you. “I know I told you before that I wasn’t really looking for anything but the truth is that I’ve actually been falling for you. So hard. And before you interrupt and ask me why I said what I did, shit, I don’t know. I just..I just freaked out because I wasn’t expecting you to just ask me that out of nowhere.”

“Alex, Im sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“No please don’t apologize I should’ve just owned up to it and told you then because I really and I mean really wish I had. It’s been gnawing at me so bad that I didn’t take the opportunity to tell you. You honestly make me kinda nervous ever since I realized I wanted something more than friends with you.” His eyes dropped from yours again and went back to playing with the plastic straw.

“I make you nervous?” You could help but grin as you said it. You couldn’t believe he actually admitted to being nervous around you.

“Yeah yeah yeah go ahead and make fun of me, whatever, I knew I should’ve left that part out,” he scoffed as he rolled his eyes and sat back into his seat.

“No I’m glad you told me. I think it’s cute.”

“Oh so you think I’m cute?” He sat up straighter in his chair and smirked. “So you like me?”

You rolled your eyes at his sudden comeback in confidence after all the nervous toying with his straw he was just doing moments ago. He always ate up any little compliment you’d given him and you hated to admit you loved it.

“Yeah honestly I’ve had feelings for you for a while, and if you must know, I was actually trying to confess to you back when I asked your opinions on dating but wouldn’t you know, someone cough cough shut me down before I could. Mr. I’m not looking for anything right now.” You said the last part with finger quotes as you playfully rubbed what he said into his face.

He reached up and lightly smacked your finger quotes out of the air while trying to make an obviously forced angry face. “You should’ve just said it anyway. We could’ve been going on a date today and not just hanging out as friends. And then I could’ve kissed you goodnight when I dropped you off,” he wiggled his eyebrows as he said the last sentence.

Your face already started heating up. You knew exactly how a lot of your days spent together could’ve gone if you two had already been dating by this point. You practically thought about it every time you hung out together and every time you laid your head down on your pillow at night.

This time, you were the one to break the silence. “I mean, we still could,” you said quietly in the darkness of his car. “Only if you want to I mean I know we both just now told each other how we feel but I’m okay with-“

Your rambling was cut off with his lips shutting you up. It was just a peck, but as he pulled his head away you instinctively reached up to pull him back in. It was just a series of small closed-mouth kisses, but it was more than you could’ve imagined receiving from him just 15 minutes ago.

You pulled away from the kiss but kept your face close to his as your eyes scanned his. “I can’t believe you lied to me,” you whispered through a smile in the darkness.

“I’ll make it up to you, baby, don’t worry,” he whispered back as he closed the distance between the two of you again.

#quackity #alex quackity #qsmp quackity #qsmp #quackity x reader #quackity imagine #quackity scenario #quackity blurb #quackity fanfic #quackity x you #quackity x y/n #mcyt #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt x y/n #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt scenarios #mcyt fandom

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secretsandwriting · 17 days

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Even the Destruction of the World Couldn't Keep Me From You

Xisumavoid x reader supervillain au

This is the longest thing I've written in years it feels like. A whole 4.2k words. Also I'm well aware some of their villain names are silly. I just didn't know what to do for them so this is what you got.

You weren’t sure why you of all people were kidnapped. You had of course ran into the Hermits. They were the most notorious group of villains in the area. That was as far as your relationship with any of them went. If you saw a Hermit, you ran, just like how you ran when you saw heroes. The damage from the fights was enough reason to run.

Yet here you were, changed to a wall and locked in a room by so called heroes. To make matters worse, they weren’t even from your city. They were from the city 50 miles away that had the Villain group Empires and yet they kidnapped you to get answers about the Hermits. You didn’t know why they wanted the information or why they wanted it from you. If you had known anything you would have already reported it. But instead here you were chained to a wall and told to shut up when you asked any questions.

You were rethinking your stance on the heroes. This was ridiculous.

“Alright, let’s get started.” The heroes walked in, “What do you know about the Hermits?” He spun a knife around, a clear threat in the movements. “And don’t tell us ‘nothing’. We have proof you know the hermits.”

“But I don’t know the Hermits! I’ve seen them around, and I’ve run from the chaos they’ve caused but other then that all I know is what the heroes have told us!” The guy with the knife sneered.

“You don’t know the Hermits? Then why do I have pictures of you making out with Void?”

What?

Apparently silence wasn’t an accepted thing because his knife sliced through part of your arm and stuck into the wall with a dull thud.

“Do you think I’m stupid? I did my research! I have pictures of you kissing Void! I have videos of you bringing Ninja and Hotguy lunch, dragging G.O.A.T off the battlefield, guiding Zombie to the others and more! You know who they are, so tell me and I might just let you live!”

For what seemed like hours, you were asked questions he claimed you knew the answers to, and when you didn’t give them the right answer another cut was added. Finally something caused them to leave you and let the darkness finally take you. The darkness was kind to you this time and took your pain and replaced it with one of your favorite dreams.

“Come on!” You dragged the taller man behind you, “We have to hurry!”

“I’m sure there will still be cats when we get there.” The male responded. You couldn’t see his fave and his voice was distorted but his hair was black and right across where his face would be was a scar in the shape of an X. You always figured the X met over his nose but there was no way to really know.

“I know, I just don’t want to risk you changing your mind again.” He scoffed.

“I would never change my mind!”

“You’ve changed it 5 times about getting a cat already!” The rest of the way to the shelter was filled with teasing and laughter. The time at the shelter was pretty short however. A small black cat climbed into your lap purring and begging for scratches while a chunky orange cat started attacking the guy. You left the shelter with both.

“She’s waking up X.” A female voice ended your dream. “You can have a few minutes but then we need to check her out and make sure we didn’t miss anything.” Thankfully the room wasn’t too bright when you opened your eyes. Your left hand was gently picked up and squeezed, what felt like a kiss was placed on your palm.

“I’ve missed you darling.” You turned to look at him. The first thing you noticed was the large X scar across his face, the next thing was the soft and gentle look of pure adoration, the third, was his armor. That was Void’s armor. Void the leader of the hermits. Jerking out of his grasp you tried to get away from him.

You can hear someone else trying to calm you down but all you could focus on was Void. The pain that crosses his face the more you try to get away confuses you but not enough to stop. Someone moves between you, blocking your view of him and replacing it with another Hermit. G.O.A.T. Glancing around the large room, you're met with the sight of every single hermit. You were screwed.

The youngest one, the one the new describes as the only non-powered Hermit who seems to be like their child, quickly moved up to you and attached some weird cuffs to your left wrist and his right.

“Anything that happens to you will happen to me while we have these cuffs on.” He then went on to demonstrate it by shocking his finger, when you felt the shock to your own finger you started calming down. Once deemed calm enough, Medic asked you a simple question.

“Why did you panic when you saw X?” Today must be the day of stupid questions.

“Because He’s Void.” The entire room looked at you in confusion.

“He’s your fiance. You have your engagement ring around your neck.” You glanced down at the ring hanging from your necklace then back to the boy handcuffed to you. “Do you-Do you not remember?”

I woke up in the hospital 2 years ago with no memories. Thorn told me my name and where I worked and lived. At the mention of Thorn, X left the room, there was some murmuring from the other hermits before a few of them followed X out. G.O.A.T sent the rest of them out shortly after.

“Even if you don’t remember us, we remember you. Therefore you have nothing to worry about. To us, you are a dear friend and out Brother’s fiance.” G.O.A.T Rested a hand on yours and squeezed softly. “No harm will come to you from us. My name is Doc, Stress and I will be taking care of your medical care. Mumbo is the one cuffed to you.”

You let Mumbo undo the cuffs shortly after and allowed them to treat anything that was left. When they were done, X came back in. Doc had told you his name was Xisuma but most people called him X or some rendition of Xisuma. He was quiet when he came back in, eyes red and cheeks wet from tears. You were perched on the edge of the bed, facing the chair he sat down in.

“Let me be selfish.” You looked up from the spot on the floor you were staring at to look at him. All you could see in his face was desperation and pain. “I know you don’t remember but please let me be selfish. Let me hold you at night and stay by your side through the day. I’ve been looking for you for 2 years and 4 months. Now that I have you back I want to keep you close. So please let me be selfish and allow me to stay with you.”

You weren’t really sure what to say. Void, one of the highest ranking villains in the world, was begging you for something. Not only was he begging, but he was sobbing. You really wanted to go home and forget this ever happened but that didn’t really seem like a choice. A part of you questioned if this was a trap. For what, you didn’t know. Another part of your brain reminds you of your dreams with the man and the X on his face. You weren’t really sure how this was going to go, but maybe saying yes would work out better for you.

“Ok.” You had never seen hope grow in a person so fast.

“Ok as in I can?” At your nod, you found yourself wrapped in strong arms and cradled to his chest. Unsure of what to do, you awkwardly wrapped your arms around him and softly rubbed his back through his armor, you weren’t even sure he could feel it. It seemed to be the right thing however because he held you tighter while he sobbed into your neck.

You weren’t sure how long you were there for, just that when he was done crying, he just stayed in your embrace. When he finally parted from you, he took ahold of your hand and guided you through the halls to a room.

“This is our room.” His voice was soft as he spoke. He guided you through it. Telling you were all of your things were and where his was too. You noticed a ring box on what he said was your side. Probably to hold the supposed engagement ring that was around your neck. After your toured the room, you were given a tour of the whole building. The kitchen, living rooms, dining rooms, bathrooms, otter Hermits rooms and so on. Once he was sure he showed you everything, you were guided back to the kitchen.

Xisuma started cooking, as you watched him work you realized he was making your favorite dish. Not only was he making your favorite, but he was making it exactly how you liked it, with all the little changes and tweaks you preferred.

Not much was said during dinner, but one of your hands was always intertwined with his. After dinner, you were given a tour of the gardens in the back. You made sure to ignore the wavering in his voice like you had earlier. Once that was finished, you went back to your room for the night. Xisuma handed you one of his shirts and some of your shorts before letting you go change in the bathroom. When the door was slightly open, 2 cats shot out and immediately wrapped around your ankles screaming for attention. One of them decided that wasn’t enough, and the orange one started trying to climb up your leg.

“Des and Ed calm down!” Xisuma scolded the cats before detaching the one that was climbing you and snatching the one still around your ankles before it could start climbing you too. “Sorry, they missed you too, and they won’t let me trim their claws.” They were the cats from your dreams. Xisuma clearly took your staring for something else. “You probably don’t remember their names,” He held out the orange cat. “This is Edgar Allen Paw,” next was the black cat. “This i-”

“Furious the Destroyer.” Xisuma lit up and nodded, “I don’t know how I remember that.” The cats were placed back on the floor and you were pulled into another hug.

“Eventually you’ll remember everything, but for now, we’ll take it one day at a time.” He gave a small squeeze before letting you go change. The shorts fit perfectly, but Xisuma’s shirt was big on you. It ended shortly before your knees. The smell of it was familiar and comforting but you couldn’t place why exactly it felt like that. So you left the bathroom and found yourself tucked into bed with Xisuma curled up around you.

“I’m always comfortable when I’m laying with you!” the faceless man with the scar exclaimed, you laughed and dodged a lazy hand swung at you, the force behind it was so weak his arm fell shortly after.

“You say that, but if we stay like this you’ll be complaining your back hurts tomorrow and I’ll have to listen to it all day!” He sighed before burying his head in your neck and placing feather light kisses on any skin he could reach.

“Let's just stay for a little longer.” The request was murmured against your skin. “We’ll go to bed in a minute but for now I just want to stay here with you.” You sighed but let one of your hands wander to his dark hair.

“If you fall asleep, I don’t want to hear a single word about your back hurting.” He hummed in agreement, and nuzzled his head closer to your neck. He fell asleep in seconds and you felt yourself shaking your head before joining him in sleep.

When you woke up, it was still dark and Xisuma was still curled into your side, sound asleep. You checked the clock on the nightstand, 12:46 am. Lovely. Xisuma must have noticed your sigh in his sleep and moved closer.

The thought that Hypno’s dream manipulation powers was the cause for your dreams crossed your mind again. The dreams seemed so personal and intimate that the thought that they weren’t actually yours felt so wrong.

You turned your gaze towards Xisuma. You couldn’t see much in the dark and his head was tucked into your neck, but the rest of him was somehow curled around you too. Everytime you twitched or moved, he immediately moved closer.

Clingy.

The thought flew through your head and you had to fight the urge to laugh. It didn’t work. You found yourself giggling in the dark desperately trying to stop so you didn’t wake Xisuma. It was too late for that.

“Whats so funny?” Xisuma’s voice was groggy and he was clearly trying not to move from his spot. You weren’t sure you wanted to tell him but you were probably going to have to. If you could ever catch your breath between giggles.

“The big bad Void who’s known for his ruthlessness and path of destruction is clingy.” You started giggling harder as he groaned.

“You said that when you found out the first time. But you went with a clingy simp then.” The giggling got worse at the addition of simp. Something you could see with how the day had been. Xisuma just groaned again. “Is this going to last for an hour again?”

As the days went on, you got used to the hermits and Xisuma’s constant need to touch you. No one ever told you anything that could explain how or why you lost your memory. Well, that was until you were kidnapped again. This time by someone who looked identical to Xisuma but with red armor and white hair. You found yourself seated in a comfortable chair with a mug of your favorite tea in your hands.

“So, what did Xisuma do to make you leave for 2 years?” He asked as he settled into his chair and sipped his tea. Something about him seemed familiar, and not just his similar looks to Xisuma. He felt almost comfortable to be around.

“I lost my memory 2 years ago and they found me about a week ago when a hero kidnapped me and tortured me for information. He just stared at you for a second before putting his drink down.

“So you don’t remember anything from before 2 years ago?” You nodded. “Explains why you went radio silent for 2 years… Well in that case, I’m Xavier, Xisuma’s clone… Whats the first thing you remember?”

“Waking up in the hospital and Thorn explaining I had been caught in a hero villain fight. When I said I couldn’t remember anything he found where I lived and worked.”

“Of course it was Thorn.” He seemed to notice your interest. “They didn’t tell you about Thorn did they?” He sighed and picked up his drink, taking a sip while he gathered his thoughts. “Of course they didn’t.”

“Thorn didn’t start as a hero, he was originally a vigilante. Well, he caught the hermits' attention. Thorn was hoping they would ask him to join them, but they weren’t interested in him joining. They wanted him gone, not because he was trying to stop them or too heroic or something like that. They wanted him gone because he had gone off the deep end and while the hermits are villains, they have morals. Thorn does not.” He sipped his tea.

“When he realized they were after him for reasons he didn’t want. He told them he would make them regret it, especially Xisuma. He thought the same thing most people think, because Xisuma is called the leader. Most people think he makes all the decisions when in reality, it's a group vote. While it’s not confirmed, it is theorized that Thorns powers are memory related due to some past things.”

“So that’s why Xisuma left the room when I mentioned him.” Xavier nodded. Taking a sip of your own drink, you mulled over the information. “How do I get my memories back then?”

“No idea. No one’s said anything about it before. Have you gotten any back?” Your dreams popped into your head.

“I’ve been having dreams… But I don’t know if they’re actually memories. I can’t see anyone specific, just a form with a recognizable feature I guess.” Xavier nodded.

“If it’s dreams, maybe Hypno could help unlock more. I don’t really know how it works but it's worth a shot.” After that, the conversation just flowed through other much lighter topics until Xavier decided it was time to return you back to Xisuma.

You didn’t bring it up to Hypno until a week later. You requested that Xisuma not know about it yet and while reluctant Hypno understood your reasoning. Better not to get his hopes up when no one knew if it would work. One night a week, Hypno would try to make your dreams become clearer without messing them up. It didn’t make a difference, but you both decided to continue trying.

As the weeks dragged on, you found yourself becoming attached to the hermits, not minding it when Xisuma came to you and wrapped you into some sort of physical touch and anxiety and nervousness of being around them went away.

Weeks turned into months and nothing new had come back in the terms of memories. You could tell it was bothering Xisuma and the other hermits as much as it did you. Hypno continued trying to help you in your dreams, but it wasn’t doing anything.

So you did the only thing you could think of. Think back on that hospital visit with Thorn to see if you could remember anything that he might have given away. You spent hours every day trying to think of something but it wasn’t until XB invited you to go swimming in the pool like you used to that something popped into your mind.

“Make sure to avoid ocean water. We found you there and I would hate for you to have a PTSD episode.”

That’s how you found yourself at the beach, starting at the ocean waves in front of you. You were far enough away that the water didn’t even touch you. Just taking a moment to prepare yourself for the cold water. Thankfully, due to the late hour, no one else was there. Which also meant if anything happened, no one would be there to help.

Taking a deep breath, you walked forwards. Not stopping until your head was underwater.

“Your usual?” You asked Xisuma.

“Of course, are you going to spell my name completely wrong again?” You smiled.

“Of course!” He laughed and shook his head before moving down the line to wait at the counter that the finished drinks went too.

While you were writing a horrible rendition of his name that was so far off it didn’t even sound similar, one of your coworkers gave you a wink and a look, clearly trying to convince you to go through with writing your number on his cup. Sighing, you finally committed to it, writing the digits down while your coworkers silently celebrated behind you.

Two hours later, you got a text from him.

—

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Xisuma stared at you from his spot on the bench next to you.

“What’s stopping you?” Xisuma hesitated for a second before taking it as the invitation it was. He was so gentle and careful and he pulled you closer, one of his hands resting against your waist the other at the back of your neck.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for months.”

—

“Why do you want me to let you into Xisuma’s room?” You asked Grian and Scar who stood in the doorway. Xisuma had left for some sort of meeting and you were getting ready to go to work when Grian and Scar knocked on the door.

“We want to dye some of his clothes pink.”

“Just make sure he still has one white button up and a pair of nice black pants when your done, we have a date Friday and if it gets postponed because you messed all his clothes up I will personally arrange your torture and death.” They both shivered and nodded. You made sure to ignore them while you finished getting ready.

—

“I have something I need to tell you.” Xisuma pulled you away from your project and to a nearby couch in your room. “I’m the villain Void.” You blinked at him.

“Did you really have to pull me from my project for a joke?” You sighed.

“No, I’m serious, I’m Void.” He opened a small rift next to you, hoping that this wouldn’t be the end of the relationship. He struggled to read anything off of you as you stared at the rift.

“But you're just a clingy simp who can barely remember where you leave things.” Xisuma snorted. Of course you would say that. “Is that why you always have so many bruises, why your gone so late sometimes and why you always give such bad excuses for not being able to do things?” Xisuma nodded, holding his breath.

“I understand it's a lot to process but I need you to know this doesn’t change anything. I love you and always have loved you and will always continue to love you.”

“I just need some time to think about this.”

Later that night, you woke him up with your giggling.

—

“They’re so lucky I like all of them.” You sighed as you tried calling Xisuma again. He didn’t answer. Neither did Tango, Etho, Impulse or Doc. There was one other person you could call who could find them easily.

“Hey Iskall, sorry to bother you. Do you know where Xisuma, Etho, Tango, Impulse and Doc are? They didn’t eat breakfast or take lunch so I’m trying to bring them some but no one will answer their phone.” Within seconds, Iskall had hacked their phones and gave you a location. Thankfully it wasn’t too far away.

When you showed up. All five were huddled over some contraption they were making, not paying much attention to their surroundings.

“It’s a good thing I’m not a hero or you all would have been captured in seconds.” The entire group turned to look at you like deer in the headlights. “I brought you lunch since none of you have eaten today, but considering how none of you answered my texts or calls I’m not sure you really want it.”

Immediately there were apologies and protests. You just laughed at them as they tried to defend themselves. Eventually you decided to accept whatever they were saying as good enough and handed out the lunches to the five. Xisuma was kind enough to give you a kiss before he dug in like the rest of the group.

“More of the hermits need to get into relationships if this is the treatment we get from it!” You laughed at Etho’s statement before saying goodbye and heading to work.

—

“This way!” Xisuma tugged you over to the Gazebo in the middle of the gardens you were visiting. “It has the best view of all the flowers.”

Xisuma wasn’t lying when he claimed it was the best view. Fields of flowers of all types were laid out in front of you. The sunlight made the bright colors pop out of the green, the smell of the flowers was strong and sweet, making it so you never wanted to leave.

You turned to Xisuma to see his reaction, only to find him down on one knee with a ring in his hand. You didn’t even let him give the little speech he had clearly practiced before saying yes and letting yourself drop into his arms. There in his arms, he whispered something in your ear.

“Even the destruction of the earth couldn’t keep me away from you.”

The ring was slid onto your fingers and when you got back to the main building, the other hermits swarmed the two of you.

You were pulled out of the water, gasping for breath. You hadn’t realized you had been under for that long. Glancing up, you were met with Xisuma’s terrified face. Xisuma, your fiance, the love of your life. You didn’t even know how you could have forgotten.

Xisuma clearly wasn’t expecting to be pulled into a kiss after pulling you up from the bottom of the ocean but he melted into it either way. His arms tightened around your waist and one of your hands found it’s way to the back of Xisuma’s head.

“Even the destruction of the earth couldn’t keep me away from you.” Xisuma teared up, desperately searching your eyes. “I remember Xisuma. I remember everything!” You found yourself being pulled back down into another kiss.

“We should head back to shore.” Xisuma’s voice was thick and shaking against your lips, you wiped his tears from his face before stealing another kiss.

“Let's go home Xisuma.”

#hermitcraft x reader #hermitcraft x gn reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #xisuma x reader #hermitcraft xisuma #xisumavoid x reader #xisumavoid x you #xisumavoid x gn reader #xisuma x gn reader

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bimtheory · 3 months

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Trying to watch Marilyn Monroe films again because I feel like it's impossible to write a book about bimbos and not mention Marilyn, but it's proving to be difficult.

I'm trying my best, but I just can't figure out what people find special about her. And it's so hard to find any sort of truth. There are so many made up quotes and misconceptions just to further this narrative of Marilyn as the ultimate victim, people treat her like a martyr. If she's not being discussed and treated as a sex symbol she's being used as a symbol for tragedy, and would Marilyn even want that?

In a 1962 interview published by Life Magazine a day before her death, she had this to say:

"I don’t mind being burdened with being glamorous and sexual. But what goes with it can be a burden. Like the man was going to show me around but the woman said, “Off the premises.” I feel that beauty and femininity are ageless and can’t be contrived, and glamour, although the manufacturers won’t like this, cannot be manufactured. Not real glamour, it’s based on femininity. I think that sexuality is only attractive when it’s natural and spontaneous. This is where alot of them miss the boat. And then something I’d just like to spout off on. We are all born sexual creatures, thank God, but it’s a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift. Art, real art, comes from it, everything. I never quite understood it, this sex symbol. I always thought symbols were those things you clash together! That’s the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing. But if I’m going to be a symbol of something I’d rather have it sex than some other things they’ve got symbols of! These girls who try to be me, I guess the studios put them up to it, or they get the ideas themselves. But gee, they haven’t got it. You can make alot of gags about it like they haven’t got the foreground or else they haven’t the background. But I mean the middle, where you live."

And, later in the interview:

"It might be a kind of relief to be finished. It’s sort of like, I don’t know, what kind of a yard dash you’re running, but then you’re at the finish line and you sort of see you’ve made it! But you never have. You have to start all over again. But I believe you’re always as good as your potential. I now live in my work and in a few relationships with the few people I can really count on. Fame will go by and, so long, I’ve had you fame. If it goes by, I’ve always known it was fickle. So at least it’s something I experienced, but that’s not where I live."

None of this is paraphrased. And, personally, it sounds to me like she rather be remembered for being a sexy actress than whatever this is:

But a lot of people who claim to be Marilyn Monroe fans or even just mention her don't seem to care about or have any actual interest in her. Unfortunately, I think Andrew Dominik may have been right in that (most) people are not watching her films. I have friends that won't even touch movies from before 1980, let alone the 50s. And watching the clip of her performing Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend on YouTube is not watching one of her movies.

Marilyn is invoked when people want to a sort of classy sexuality, or beautiful "feminine" tragedy, which is bullshit.

But anyway, like I was saying, I don't get the appeal. And it's hard to find any writing approaching her honestly and critically instead of constant "she was a perfect angel that could do no wrong"-tier glazing. I don't mean to be rude; I have nothing against her, and her life did seem tragic in some respects, but it always feels like the praise outweighs the reality of the material. Like people felt bad having been so judgmental about her after the circumstances of her death that they overshot trying to make up for it and Marilyn became indicative of the tragedy and mistreatment of every woman, a myth that has been passed down for generations at this point.

I don't know. That's just how it seems to me. I read people talk about how great of an actress she really was, but I don't see it, and people conveniently always forget to explain how she was a good actress or what made her so great, just "she trained at The Actor's Studio!", a lot of actors did.

#bimtheory #bimbo theory #marilyn monroe

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adidastain · 3 months

Text

never say never

90s trey parker x fem reader

warnings: vomit mention, cheating mention

notes: first person perspective (I, me, my, etc.), part one

word count: 2622

—

“This is definitely raw,” I whispered to myself, sighing heavily. I prodded at the piece of chicken on the plate in front of me with my fork, trying my best not to look absolutely repulsed. It smelled good. It just didn’t look white enough on the inside for me to trust it.

Granted, I knew absolutely squat about cooking, so maybe I was wrong. There was a good chance my appetite was just gone, having been completely miserable throughout the entire four hours of this wedding so far.

Everyone was all gathered on the dance floor, having the time of their lives. I knew I needed to put some food in me, and I was exhausted, so no dancing for me. Especially not in these heels.

That being said, I was sitting at my table, alone. I watched my sister and her newly wedded husband dance around in circles, bumping into other couples every so often. What a total circus.

I sighed, getting up with my plate to pick out something else to eat. Most of the options were torn through already. I decided to play it safe and avoid meat, so I settled for some asparagus. It really isn’t as bad as a lot of people preach.

I really wanted a cigarette.

“Hey,” I heard a voice from behind me. A hand lightly nudged my arm, just out of reach.

It was Trey, one of the groomsmen. He was my partner when we walked down the aisle, meaning we’d had quite a lot of time to get to know each other a little during rehearsals and parties and whatnot.

“Hey,” I said calmly.

“Where have you been?” he asked me, smiling. “I’ve been shakin’ ass for like, thirty minutes. All by myself.”

I rolled my eyes. “My feet are killing me,” I said, looking at him with the most innocent eyes I could muster.

I knew Jimmy, my sister’s new husband, had known Trey from like, way, way back. Apparently they’ve been friends since they were 14. I also learned from Jimmy that Trey used to get so nervous when talking to girls that he’d have to go to the restroom and throw up. Part of me wondered if that was still something he struggled with. Probably not; I could tell Trey was a huge flirt. He’d just be torturing himself all the time if that were the case.

Trey’s blue eyes looked dark in the dim light. The only thing illuminating the dining space was the soft glow of tea candles at the centerpiece of each table. It was quite romantic.

“You can dance. C’mon. At least just one song,” Trey insisted, bargaining with me as he followed me back to my table. “Please?”

I felt just a little bit bad, but I really did not want to dance. I know it’s horrible, but I kind of wanted my sister to notice what an awful time I was having. She was older than me and had spent most of our childhood bullying and tormenting me, so I was a little bit of a fiend for validation and care from her.

It also didn’t help that she just married my ex-fiance. But, you know, it’s all good. Whatever.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, having sat back down. I stared down at my food, having lost my appetite yet again.

“Can I at least sit with you?” Trey asked me. I nodded, clearing my belongings off of the chair next to me so he could sit. He’d ditched his blazer somewhere and was now just left in a white dress shirt with no necktie or anything. I have to say, he looked pretty handsome, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, hair all messy and whatnot.

Trey sat with me and watched everyone scream the lyrics of Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond while I worked on my asparagus, nibble by nibble. He was a nice guy. He always sort of stuck to my side, hanging out with me whenever we had free time during the wedding rehearsals. He always came dressed in pajamas with some stubble on his face. Tonight was the first time I’d seen him looking so sharp and dapper.

After the song was over, he turned towards me again.

“You don’t like weddings,” Trey stated, resting his head in his palm.

I didn’t look up from my plate, shaking my head as I slowly chewed and swallowed the vegetable. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to eat.

“How come?” he asked me.

“It’s a long story,” I said quietly. “And I don’t wanna ruin your night. Or Jimmy’s. Or Amy’s, for that matter.”

“Well, you already ruined my night. By being a party-pooper.”

I scoffed, looking at him and rolling my eyes. He was just teasing me. He did that a lot.

“Just give me the short version,” he continued, scooting closer to me. Trey was sitting on the edge of his seat, his knee rapidly bouncing with anticipation.

A heavy sigh escaped me and I dropped my fork. I rubbed my temples, taking a deep breath, before tucking my hair behind both ears.

“Someone here stood me up at the altar,” I huffed, putting my hands in my lap. I gave Trey a look that read something along the lines of, Are you happy now?

He tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. “Who? When?” he asked.

“I thought you said you wanted the short version,” I said.

“Well, now I’m curious. I wasn’t expecting that. Tell me more,” he pressed, leaning closer to me.

I sighed through my nose, looking down at my lap. I swallowed and started picking at my fingernails.

“You can’t tell anyone,” I said. “Not that they don’t know already, it’s just… I don’t wanna bring up old shit, y’know?”

“Yeah, yeah. I gotcha. Just tell me,” Trey said. God, why is he so eager?

I took a deep breath, letting my forehead sit in my hands to avoid making eye contact with him. I knew his response wasn’t going to be to hug me and tell me that I had every right to be miserable, but part of me really wanted his consolation. I wondered if telling him this would revoke his status as someone I felt safe with here. The only person I felt safe with here.

“I was supposed to get married last March. To Jimmy,” I mumbled. I felt like curling up into a ball and hiding under the table. I wanted to be buried alive at that moment.

“You have to be joking,” Trey said quietly.

“I’m not joking.”

“I didn’t know Jimmy was a fucking idiot,” he laughed.

I hummed. “Yeah. He’s the idiot,” I repeated.

“I mean, at least you didn’t have to go through all that court bullcrap, right?” he said. “Divorce fucking sucks.”

I’d somehow ended up subconsciously gripping my hair to the point of it almost being ripped out of my head. Trey probably didn’t mean to stress me out so much, but I wished he’d been more sensitive about it. I thought I’d gotten over it until rehearsals started happening.

I don’t even think I was mad at Jimmy anymore. I was just mad at myself. I felt like a complete idiot about the entire thing. I looked like a complete idiot too; I’d gotten into my dress and had my hair and makeup done and all, and I didn’t have a single second thought the entire time leading up to the actual ceremony. I really underestimated my naivety that day.

“Hey,” Trey hummed.

I sighed and looked at him. I didn’t tear up at all. I was just irritated. I felt sick and Trey wasn’t being helpful whatsoever.

I noticed his throat shift slightly as he swallowed. “We don’t have to dance,” he said softly. “It sucks that you have to kinda relive everything.”

“And everyone knows. Almost every single person here was invited to my wedding. It’s fucking embarrassing,” I said quietly. “And no one wants to bring it up because it’s old shit. It’s like I’m on a fucking island.”

Now I felt my throat tighten. I still felt safe with Trey. Thank God.

I wondered why Jimmy didn’t invite him to our wedding or ever have me meet him. Maybe they just weren’t in touch then.

There was a brief moment of silence where Trey sat, staring at me. I looked at him, and once our eyes met, he quickly averted his gaze down to his hands.

“My ex-fiance cheated on me,” he told me, giving me a small empathetic smile.

I swallowed as our eyes met again. I felt his warm hands gently take mine.

“With an a-capella singer,” he grimaced. “‘N I said, ‘Fuck you, Liane. I’m gonna make a movie because you cheated on me.’”

“You made a movie?” I repeated.

“Yeah, man. It’s totally sweet,” he laughed. “A humble prospector, Alferd Packer, and his party are led to certain doom by his disloyal horse, appropriately named Liane. It’s a musical.”

I shook my head, laughing.

“I have to humble myself sometimes, ‘cause if she didn’t cheat on me, I probably wouldn’t have my career,” he laughed sheepishly.

“And I’m here with my waitressing job while my sister’s out cutting Jennifer Aniston’s hair every month. And you’re a filmmaker,” I laughed, though there was nothing funny about anything I was saying.

“Well I think Jimmy’s an asshole anyway. Don’t tell him I said that,” he said, scooting closer to me again. His knees were now crazing mine.

I hummed, resting my head against my palm. Trey still held one of my hands, gently tracing over my knuckles with his thumb.

That’s when I heard Forever Young by Alphaville ring through the venue. Suddenly I was sent way the fuck back to my senior prom.

I gasped softly. I really did love this song. Even if I sat by myself in the corner, sipping on some sparkling beverage while I watched all my classmates with their dates.

Trey had become very invested in scraping a stain out of the pristine white tablecloth and seemed very shocked when he noticed me stand up.

“Up,” I said, flapping my hand to beckon him to join me. “Stand up. This is your one dance.”

I quickly slid my heels off and suddenly realized how tall Trey was. His hands tentatively slid onto my waist, holding me in place as I kicked off my second heel and held onto his shoulders.

My gaze had been focused on the floor and our feet, so my heart almost jumped out of my chest once I looked up at him and saw how close his face was to mine. I could see all of his freckles in the warm orange light of the tea candle a few feet away, accompanied by the occasional purple strobe from the dance floor.

Trey grinned, flashing his fang-like snaggletooth. He quickly smothered his smile however, instead pursing his lips together and swallowing harshly.

“Hi,” he hummed.

What a dork.

I subtly rolled my eyes. “Hi,” I said, trying not to smile at him. I could see his cheeks starting to turn a shade of pink. I guess it was kinda cute.

We started swaying, and Trey opted to hold one of my hands while his other held my waist, like a traditional ballroom dance. “You come around here often?” he said, smirking with raised eyebrows.

“No,” I giggled, swallowing.

“Me neither,” he whispered. I noticed his eyes dart down to look at my lips for a split second.

He swallowed again, gently intertwining his fingers with mine. I could barely breathe; my stomach was in knots and my heart was beating a million miles a minute. This was like my high school dream come true. I really felt like a teenager again. Just for a moment.

I looked down to make sure he wasn’t close to stepping on my toes. I decided to just stand on his feet instead, putting me up a little higher and infinitely closer to him.

“Did they play this at your senior prom?” I asked him softly.

“No,” he said, smiling. “Good thing, though. I’d be in shambles right now.”

“Why?”

“Guess who my date was,” he said.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “I didn’t have a date,” I told him.

“You do now,” he whispered.

I swallowed. Somehow Trey made me feel less alone than anyone else ever had in my entire life. I always felt alone when I was with Jimmy. We were really different.

I knew I was pretty… unconventional. Weird. Just really, really awkward all the time. I never really had anything to talk about unless it was something I was actually interested in, so small talk was a fucking nightmare for me. Trey made me feel so much more normal.

Trey cleared his throat, looking down as he leaned a little closer. “I haven’t gotten the chance to tell you how pretty you look tonight,” he whispered shyly.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

At that point, the song was unfortunately coming to a close. It was a short song. That was the worst part about it.

Trey and I just swayed back and forth, spinning around in a circle slowly to the pace of the song. Our eyes never left each other. Only after the song ended did he let go of my hand, a very sad look on his poor, sweet face.

I felt cold as I slipped out of his arms, my heart still racing from the adrenaline. Trey gave me a small smile and I backed away from him.

I looked away as I heard the crowd around the dance floor erupt in a fit of loud cheers for all the couples who danced together. It was startling and obnoxious. I fucking hate weddings.

“C’mere,” I heard Trey hum with a soft, mischievous grin on his face. One of his hands tenderly slid up to caress my cheek, while the other gently grasped my forearm. I let him pull me closer, knowing full well what he was about to do and welcoming it with open arms.

With racing hearts and withheld breaths, Trey and I came together in a slow, gentle kiss, like we were testing the waters. The hand he held my arm with quickly made its way up to my neck. His lips were warm and moved with care and patience. I didn’t hear or feel him breathing, until he let out the heaviest exhale he could muster after holding his breath. His body relaxed, bringing him even closer to me.

I pulled away, looking down at his chest. I swallowed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked nervously.

“I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again,” I whispered.

“Well… why not?” he asked again, his voice soft as a feather.

“I live in Seattle, Trey,” I told him, laughing sheepishly.

I watched his body deflate like he was defeated. His hands had left my face and now rested idly at his sides.

“I don’t care,” he whispered. “I’ll definitely see you again.”

“You realize that I am never going to visit my sister, right?” I laughed.

“You realize we both have phones, right?” he retorted, teasing me. “And cars?”

I shook my head. Whatever. I guess I could just enjoy the moment with him.

But I wanted to see him again. I wanted to see him tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. Nothing compared to the way he’d made me feel the past few days and I didn’t want that to be gone so soon.

“We’ll figure it out. I promise,” he whispered, softly kissing me again.

#i’m totally not projecting #i love trey #trey parker x reader #trey parker #fanfiction #fluff #matt stone #x reader #baseketball #fem reader #smut #cannibal the musical #mattrey #orgazmo #angst

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imtheasssniffer · 9 months

Text

I just ate ass and I don’t know who to talk to about it, everyone I would normally talk to about something like this would feel betrayed. My best friend just got back into town, and I was literally by a park less than a minute from her apartment in the backseat of my sneaky-links truck eating his ass, and I could’ve spent the time with her. I’ve starting dating someone kind of and we always tell each other about our days before bed, but I’m afraid they’ll be upset I hooked up with someone even though they’ve been on other dates since we met, and they said I was their friend while we were talking on the phone. And I definitely can’t tell my mother because she thinks I’m an Angel who’d never indulge in such filthy acts. The only outlet I have is my Tumblr which I recently redownloaded, and I know that my followers are at least slightly interested in my sex life.

It was really great. As far as ass eating goes, it wasn’t my most thorough job, but it was so good nonetheless. While writing this right now I can smell the scent of his must on my face and I’m feeling euphoric. We were both in a slight rush, and I was honestly surprised he said yes because I’d never really eaten his ass before. But today I think he was desperate to nut, and knew that I really wanted to eat his ass because I’d made it known previously.

It was almost a wattpad scenario, we haven’t linked in over a month and he told me when we first met today that he hadn’t really came since then because he hadn’t been jerking off, or hooking up with anyone else, so he was ready to bust, and then when I started to suck his dick at first he said, “sorry if it’s musty I was moving furniture.” Which he wasn’t really that musty, he just likes to be clean when we meet up. I told him I didn’t mind, obviously, and then I started sucking his dick. As I was sucking his dick I slid my hand under his ass, which was pressed on the leather seats of his truck and had left some moisture on the seat from sweat. I joked about it, and said something about eating his ass which led to him saying, “I don’t know the last time I shit,” which I responded, “is it disgusting if I say I don’t care.”

At this point I was dismissing the idea and felt awkward and gross and he said, “I don’t care, I’m down.” He then promptly shifted his body back so his ass was exposed to me and told me to eat. I got excited, obviously, and then somewhat bashfully asked him to get on his knees so I could eat it better. I prefer when someone is on all fours because it really lets you spread their cheeks and get in there. I then went to town. It’s been months since I’ve eaten ass and I’ve been craving it. His ass was pretty great too, unlike his dick which wasn’t really that musty, his ass was dank. I could smell it before even putting my face in. It was luckily clean but his must was so strong and honestly making me feral. His ass is also hairy, like really hairy, so it was really satisfying getting deep into the smooth skin of his hole. He obviously enjoyed it as well because I’m a fucking samurai when it comes to shoving my tongue in someone’s ass. He kept grabbing my head and pushing me deeper in, and moaning. He then flipped over and made me finish sucking him off which didn’t take long because my ass eating skills had him edging.

I will say I wish I could’ve spent longer in there. Normally when I eat ass, it’s a full face exercise, I rub my chin up and down the crack I wedge my nose in their hole, I like to get in there, but today we were rushing and he was extra horny so I really only got to work my tongue. Not to mention normally when I eat ass even if it’s musty beforehand, by the end all you can smell is spit, or nothing, but today I left that ass musty as hell. Which is so hot!

I’d also like to add, that I don’t think I’ve ever eaten such a muscular ass, like it was harder to suck on and bite and spread because it was so big and firm which is kind of crazy.

Also ig I’m back

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mangoposts · 3 months

Note

i just stumbled upon this reddit thread talking about how matts losing weight, seems more depressed and down and angry, snaps easily, looks dissociated 99% of the time, how chris and nick are constantly on him abt shit and how he keeps getting interrupted, how he wasn’t on the live where nick and chris announced the christmas content, and how he should seek psychological help(a crazy thing to say btw),,, a lotta ppl even said he looks like he’s on something bc of how pale and sickly he looks, now me personally i think they’re being dramatic but i wanna know what u think!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/LAinfluencersnark/s/CQRnGrbdGV

Now this is just .. ridiculous

I’ve noticed that a lot of people in this fandom seem to treat Matt like a baby, like he can’t speak up for himself or he doesn’t know how to handle situations. Which simply isn’t true. He has a voice and he knows how to use it

Matt is a grown man, and he makes videos with his brothers whom he’s known all his life. If Matt is ever dealing with any kind of stress, anxiety or sadness, it’s never going to be because of his siblings. Do people really think his own triplet brothers wouldn’t notice if he was feeling anxious or depressed? 😭 They wouldn’t force Matt to be in videos if he actually felt this way. They’re obviously going to prioritize their own relationship before anything

This whole thing is just a little dramatic, all the boys sleep late. Nick posts snapchats at 5 in the morning saying he never slept. If Matt has trouble sleeping that’s why he seems tired and has bags under his eyes. I have them too it’s normal 😭 He’s not losing weight, if anything he used to be thinner. And he’s always been pale?

We know that Matt hasn’t been as happy go lucky the way he used to be, that’s obviously where the whole tough guy joke came from. But people change? Matt isn’t 17 anymore he’s obviously not going to act the same way and look the same. He’s growing up, he probably gets tired more often and doesn’t want to be bothered with youtube as much and this is only normal 😭 It doesn’t mean he’s depressed. Matt seems to be very happy these days anyway, idk i ignore stupid shit like this bc if it was a problem they wouldn’t push themselves

They’re also all working on solo projects, they’ve been busy asl and working nonstop. They’re bound to catch an attitude with one another and get irritated Lmfaoooo

#🥭#sturniolo triplets

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it-happened-one-fic · 6 months

Text

Dead of the Night - Diluc (Part 4)

Author Notes: The fourth and final part of my Halloween/October fic series for Genshin Impact! Much of what applied to the other parts applies to this part as well. I wrote and edited this Vampire! AU series exclusively to "Is this Love" by Whitesnake which did kind of influence how this series came together. As per usual, Reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-Neutral Reader/ Vampire! AU/ pining/ romance/ some drama/ fluff with a touch of angst

Word Count: 1806

{Part 1}, {Part 2}, {Part 3}, {Part 4: You're Here!}

Also available on AO3 (link deleted due to glitches)

Trigger Warning: Reader does get attacked by a vampire, but all is well.

“So what do you want to know about first, Y/n? His eating habits? Whether or not he sleeps in a coffin? Or perhaps how he’s still keeping the winery business going even though he can’t be out in the sun?”

Kaeya took the lead as he grinned at the two of us, who were now sitting side by side with only a slight bit of awkwardness.

Diluc, for his part, looked perfectly annoyed, and I couldn’t really blame him. He practically growled out Kaeya’s name, which didn’t seem to phase the cavalry captain in the slightest bit.

“Well this is important, Diluc. They have a right to know these things, and you can’t blame them for being curious,” Kaeya’s visible eye was filled with utter delight as he glanced towards me knowingly. But then he’d known that the rumor about my feelings for Diluc was far more accurate than I pretended it was for quite some time. Longer, in fact, than the rumor had been in circulation.

Diluc let out a sigh, which seemed to be a common thing for him when around Kaeya, before he twisted to look at me, “I don’t drink human blood.”

I stiffened slightly at his words. Surprised that he’d chosen that topic to start with, but I nodded slowly, “You aren’t starving yourself, are you?”

Diluc’s gaze softened from a mildly annoyed one to an expression that spoke of a certain degree of fondness. The same way he’d always looked at me, and that had never helped the feelings that I held for him.

Kaeya, for his part, was silent as he watched the two of us. But then he often was.

Ever since we’d been young and he’d first found out how I felt for his brother Kaeya had, in his own way, been a sort of helper to me when it came to interacting with Diluc.

Diluc shook his head, completely focused on me and ignoring his brother, who already had a smile starting to creep across his face, “No, I’ve been drinking animal blood.”

“Boars are a big issue for the farmers here, and, after Adeline pointed that out, I’m afraid they’ve been having a rough time,” Kaeya broke in with a grin that had Diluc looking over at him with an almost impatient expression.

But I looked between the two of them with no small amount of surprise, “So Adelinde knows too? Does anyone else, like Jean, or-”

“No. Everyone at the Dawn Winery, Kaeya, and now you. That’s it,” Diluc looked back at me as he explained patiently, and I fell silent. Surprised that Jean, of all people, didn’t know. After all, her and Diluc had always been so close.

“How's it feel to be part of such an intimate little group?” Kaeya’s eye sparkled as he looked towards where I sat. Both his expression and his words promised at least a little bit of trouble, which had Diluc frowning at him.

“Don’t tease them, Kaeya,” I almost smiled at Diluc’s stern tone as he eyed his brother. Because even after all this time, he still looked out for me in his own way. Shielding me from even Kaeya’s teasing, despite the fact that it hadn’t bothered me in a very long time.

But Kaeya shook his head, “Oh no, Diluc. I’m not teasing them; I’m just pointing out the truth. They’re one of the few in Mondstadt who know of your unique dietary restrictions, and I’m quite curious as to how they felt about that.”

He turned to look at me, his eye narrowing as he smiled in an amused fashion, “It does make them quite a bit closer to you than they were before, after all.”

“Nonsense,” Diluc’s single-worded, firm response had both of us looking at him. Kaeya with steadily increasing amusement and me with confusion. But Diluc merely crossed his arms, continuing to frown at his brother as he finished, “I’ve always trusted Y/n, and that hasn’t changed.”

I could feel my eyes steadily widen at his words. I hadn’t realized that all this time he’d regarded me as someone he’d trusted. Especially since it had felt like there was such a vast distance between us for so long now.

Perhaps it really had been me that was keeping their distance from him even, if I hadn’t realized it.

Kaeya shook his head, ever the devil’s advocate, “Things haven’t changed for you, but they might have for Y/n.” Again, he fixed me with a pointed look, and I realized the exact purpose Kaeya had for this entire visit. Meddling man that he was in his own caring way.

“No, I trust Diluc. I always have, and I always will.” I turned to look at Diluc as I spoke. Glancing his way just in time to see him looking at me in surprise. Mirroring my previous reaction to his words.

Perhaps neither of us had known the other as well as we’d thought. He’d surprised me numerous times these past few days, and I seemed to be doing the same to him. But it was only natural that we’d changed over the years. And though we might have grown apart, given enough time, I was sure we could grow back together.

At the very least, I knew I was willing to put in the effort to make that fact. And that was enough for me.

I found myself smiling at him, startling him even more as I tilted my head slightly and finished with amusement creeping into my voice, “A change to his diet isn’t near enough to change that.”

Diluc let out an exhale, almost like he’d been holding his breath, as a small, amused but relieved smile appeared on his face. Flickering across his features before disappearing quickly as he looked towards Kaeya, “Satisfied?”

I grinned at the dry question he posed, amused to find that even after all these years, he could be quite shy about showing gratitude or any other soft feeling in front of others. Especially if that other person was Kaeya.

The cavalry captain grinned though, leaning back into his chair as if he’d just experienced something incredibly satisfying, “Quite.”

Diluc stood, and I wasn’t surprised that he was ready to go. Poor fellow never had handled bearing his soul or showing too many emotions very well. It was a miracle he hadn’t gotten all flushed over the course of our discussion.

“It’s time I left then, I’m afraid I still have things to do before the sun rises.” He paused and twisted to glance down at me. A smile appearing on his face as soon as he was sure Kaeya couldn’t see it, “Thank you for having us over and putting up with Kaeya, Y/n.”

I flapped my hand at him, smiling up at him warmly, “Not a problem. Take care though; I’ll see you tomorrow.”

His eyes widened slightly before his expression softened once more, “Yes… Take care.” He twisted away, and I stood to walk him back down the hallway. Ignoring his protests about how he could find his way, as I led him back to the door.

“Just call if you need anything,” I smiled at him one final time, knowing perfectly well that there was no way he was going to bother me for assistance. Not when he far preferred to be the one taking care of others.

But he didn’t reject my offer; he simply thanked me and stepped out the door before pausing to glance back at me.

But before he could speak, I stepped forward, reaching out and grasping his arm carefully, almost like I was afraid he would run away, “And just so you know, I’m not pushing myself. I’m not afraid of you, and I never will be.”

He held my gaze for a moment, a myriad of emotions flashing through his bright red eyes. The same warm color that had also been a source of comfort to me even when I’d been young.

After a brief moment of seemingly searching for words, he smiled, and his gloved hand reached over to gently cover mine, “Thank you.”

His voice was infinitely soft as he gazed at me, with a certain warmth to his gaze that was so often there whenever he was with me and unconcerned about what others might think. And it was that gentle warmth that gave me the sensation of home and allowed me to place so much trust in this man.

Vampire or not, I would always trust Diluc, and I had an inkling of a feeling that I would always feel the exact same way for Diluc.

How could I respond to him with anything other than overwhelming affection when that was the same emotion I’d always seen within him in our interactions?

He almost seemed reluctant when he pulled away, nodding his head as a final, gentle “Good Night” slipped from his lips and strolled off. His comfortingly familiar form lit up by the moon until he at last disappeared into the dead of the night.

It was then that Kaeya spoke from his hiding spot just by the door, “So you still love him, even now? I smiled at Kaeya's soft-spoken words from where he’d crept up behind me after Diluc left. There was no telling how long he’d been listening just to ensure that all was going to be well.

“Yes, I don’t think that will ever change…” I paused and turned to look up at the calvary captain, who was watching me closely as I continued, “Is that why you arranged for him to come over tonight? To make sure nothing had changed?”

Kaeya let out a hum, telling me that he would never just give a straightforward answer, even as he smiled at me. Ever a puzzle, even as he was watching out for both me and his brother, “Just making sure you won’t go hurting my brother after he did his best to shield himself from his biggest weakness.”

His biggest weakness… Kaeya had already laid out all the clues, and his expression gave me the answer I needed.

Me. I was Diluc’s weakness.

“Are you trying to tell me that he wouldn’t be able to handle me being afraid of him?” I crossed my arms as I looked up at Kaeya, half-smiling at the man who was so like a brother to me, even as he constantly did his very best to set me up with his actual adoptive brother.

“Who can say? I think you know the answer to that, though,” He bumped me lightly on the head with the back of his fist. Chuckling slightly as I frowned at his actions, before he too disappeared. With his matchmaking work done, as he strolled away on the same path his brother had taken.

@vera-deville

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undercoverpena · 3 days

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for @tightjeansjavi fandom hug, I’ve been trying to think of what I could say that could begin to articulate what a lovely thing this place has been for me. I’ve always told myself a lot of stories, and while I’ve been fortunate to have many places to share those from time to time, none have felt as “home” as this one. for me, to be a year later, still as excited to share a chapter of a series that I’m floored so many of you like. to have ideas I excitedly tell those who are close to me about, and not feel like the odd one out?

i feel lucky that not only do I get to play in a bunch of sandboxes with people I admire—and equally meet new people along the way—but that I get to show off my own sand castles and find that no one wants to kick them down. that people are genuinely interested in being my friend? because so often, people will come, they’ll refuel off my kindness and then be on their way, and I’ll watch them from afar wondering if they’ll be back or if i need just to trudge on my own path. but, I’ve met some people here I couldn’t think of not speaking to daily—who I get excited to share cool things that happen with, not just on fandom things, but in my personal life. I feel like I have a place, a purpose, and I have a joy to write again that isn’t fed by the need to please anyone but me.

I went into this fandom expecting so little, and yet it gave me so much. and while it isn’t always rosy, the good parts I tend to find myself in always try to make it shine. and really, isn’t that what fandom is about? seeing a post from someone and offering them a hug, partaking in a fmk that’s so outrageous that your laugh rings out through the house and getting excited when you see someone share more info about a story you’ve known they’ve been building in their head for days, week or months.

I love this place. it has its flaws, and at times it wounds. but, it’s also made me feel less lonely when I’ve been terrified in my own home. it’s made me feel like I have something special inside of me, that I’m good at something—even, when my mind has tried to strip everything else from me. and it’s brought me a place to find myself, judgment free. and really, truthfully, hand on heart I never thought I’d have that.

so thank you, to everyone who in some way has made me feel like I have a place 🫂

#fandom hug 🩷#jo rambles #Jo’s thoughts

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starays13 · 9 months

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TSaMS rant below.

So.

Eclipse died yesterday.

I’ve got some things to say on it.

First off. Death is the easy way out for him. He should get to live and deal with his consequences instead of just being killed. It makes no sense why he’d just die like that instead.

Not to mention it felt rushed and out of nowhere. Especially right after another huge event like Lunar returning.

Also, wasn’t there a whole emphasis on “Murder is not the answer” a while back? Why say that and then instantly resort to planning murder and then carrying out said murder anyways? It confuses me.

And yes, he deserves consequences for the things he’s done, but also, he’s consistently shown instances of odd moments in recent times, giving us a look into his feelings on things, how he’s lonely, how he thinks it’s too late to turn back anyways “It’s not like they’ll accept me back. Not that I want to be accepted back-“ Which is a valid thing for him to be thinking, when have they ever accepted him in the first place?

He was dehumanized from the very start. Even when he hadn’t even done anything terrible yet, as soon as his presence became known, he was regarded as a problem or a virus to get rid of, and consistently called a ‘thing’ instead of being acknowledged as an actual person.

The boys seem to have a problem with seeing almost every new AI/person to come into their circle in such a way as a problem they need to fix. And look what happened when they offered Lunar a chance, they got a new brother.

Killing him is kind of a waste of potential for his character, he might’ve even been able to get a redemption arc, although if that were to happen, it would have to be long and difficult for him, and he would have to earn it.

Another point I’ll add is the double standards, both with Sun and Moon and some of the fans.

If we think about it, Old Moon and Bloodmoon have done worse than Eclipse. I’m not even sure know the full extent of the things Old Moon was guilty of. But both his and Bloodmoon’s kill counts are wayyy higher than Eclipse’s, Eclipse only killed that one government guy who was pressing Sun to talk about a traumatic event, and likely would have put the both of them in danger.

But we haven’t had a ton of focus on bad stuff Old Moon did besides New Moon showing disgust for things he did before, mostly on how he treated Sun (Of the things on the channel he saw), yet still they all hate on Eclipse.

And also, almost everyone loves Bloodmoon, and they’ve never showed any signs of anything that meant they could’ve changed. But Eclipse has been labelled as the Bad Guy since the beginning, so it seems a lot of people go with that in terms of opinions.

One last point I’m remembering to put here is that Eclipse’s issues were never really taken into account. He’s been hurt multiple times, and responds with anger and hate because that’s all he had learned how to do. But anger is a secondary emotion, meaning there’s always something else behind it/fuelling it. If he had been taught how to react to those feelings in a healthy way, and shown any compassion without anything else attached, I seriously think things would have gone way better.

That took a long time to write.

#sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams eclipse #fnaf eclipse #fnaf #star’s tsams rambles #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #I’ve been meaning to write out my thoughts like this ever since the episode dropped #our dorito deserved better #BringEclipseBack #tw death mention #tsams spoilers

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ineffable-vendetta · 2 months

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A click, the subtle whirring of a tape recorder.

THE ARCHIVIST: [A heavy sigh, a shuffling of papers] Right. Statement of Loretta Winters, regarding an encounter with the entity known as “The Distortion” on a tube platform. Original statement given January 9th, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of The Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

THE ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT): I tried to ignore him. Really, I did. But something about him was… off. He was too tall. I think. His eyes were… blue? Or maybe they were green. I can’t quite recall. I knew something was wrong. Like he didn’t seem to be all there. And I don’t mean like he was touched in the head or dazed. I mean he literally wasn’t all there. Like every time I looked back at him some part of him had shifted or changed, almost like a mirage? Sorry. I’m a bit out of sorts. Let me start at the beginning.

I live in London, just around Notting Hill. My mother had a stroke two weeks ago, so I’ve been rushing back and forth between work and the hospital. Usually, I just drive, but that day my sister needed my car for… a reason I can’t remember. So I took the tube. I’ve always kind of liked taking the tube. Something about the rushing around, always rubbing elbows or bumping into people who have somewhere to be. Watching people go about their lives. It’s all very human.

The platform was busy when I got there. Not packed, the morning rush had just ended; but it definitely wasn’t empty. There was a woman with a pram, a group of teenagers shouting and laughing, an elderly man leaning against a wall, and a tall, skinny blond man standing as close to the tracks as he could get without falling off the platform. I wasn’t alone. I need you to understand that I wasn’t the only person on that platform.

Anyway, I sat down on a bench and pulled out my phone. The train wouldn’t be there for another 10 minutes, so I tried to relax a bit. I couldn’t relax. I kept fidgeting, something was bothering me. And it took me a moment to realize what it was, but when I did, I had to look up from my phone. The platform was dead silent. They had all disappeared. No fussing baby, no rambunctious teens. The blond man was the only one left, and he wasn’t making any noise either. I tried to rationalize it in my head but I would have heard them leave. I would have noticed if the train had arrived. I ignored the sick feeling of my skin crawling, ignored that every instinct was screaming at me to run, to get out. I thought I was just being paranoid. Stupid of me, really. But as soon as I looked down at my phone again, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. He was watching me. I could feel him staring. So I looked back. God, I wish I hadn’t looked back. The man wasn’t standing by the tracks anymore, at a safe distance. He was standing right in front of me and how did I not hear him walk over here? His eyes, boring into my soul, were mismatched, I think. One brown and one blue. His blonde hair hung in ringlets but I can’t remember if it went to just above his shoulders or well past his elbows. It’s like… it’s like the harder I try to remember what he looks like the fuzzier the image gets. But his smile… I’ll never forget his smile. It was too big for his face. Like it didn’t belong there. Like it wasn’t his smile. His teeth were in perfect white rows but he had too many of them, and I had to make a concentrated effort not to physically recoil when he opened his mouth to speak. His voice was like nails on a chalkboard or a record scratch. Like someone put a pair of scissors in a blender.

He said, “All those people disappeared quite suddenly, didn’t they? I wonder where they’ve gone.” with the casual air of someone asking for the time.

My breathing became quick and shallow, my leg started jumping with anxiety. I flinched when he laid his hand on my head, petting my hair and shushing me like I was a scared child. His hand was heavier than it should’ve been, and I tensed when I felt his nails graze my scalp. They were sharp, the way a razor blade is sharp, but not nearly as flimsy. I was struck with a sudden terror that he was going to kill me with those hands.

Instead, he backed away. “What’s all this then?” He jerked his head towards a yellow door.

The door… didn’t make any sense. It shouldn’t have been there. It couldn’t have been there. But there it was. It was wooden, and it almost looked like a panel door you’d find in most houses. The wood was a little warped and the panels were a bit mismatched, but otherwise, it looked perfectly normal. It set me on edge.

I don’t remember standing up. I don’t remember walking towards the door, I don’t remember deciding to open it. But before I knew it my hand was on the doorknob, and I had just begun to twist it when- my phone rang. I pulled my hand away from the door like I’d been burned. I felt dizzy, and prying my eyes off of the warped yellow wood to look down at my phone gave me a headache. My hands shook as I answered my sister’s call. She wanted me to stop at the store. When I looked up again, the man and the door were gone. I got a taxi.

THE ARCHIVIST: Statement ends. Well. There’s not much investigation we can really do here, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Ms. Winters is currently living in Brighton and was unwilling to comment any further, and besides, (Sardonically) The Distortion and I are old friends by now.

End recording.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #michael distortion #my writing #writeblr #writers of tumblr #I wrote this for a school assignment and gbr i'm so proud of it #lilith's tomes

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apogueprincess · 2 years

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My Forever Is You - Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Reader - Part Two

Here is part two!!! I’m so excited to continue this series. I got carried away and this is twice as long as part one. There’s a flashback within a flashback in this one, so pay attention!

This leads directly off of Part One so make sure you read it first! Feel free to reread it if you haven’t already!

——————————————————

Word count: 6.3k

Warnings: lots of fluff, mentions of death, swearing, sexual themes and sad moments

Sitting in stunned silence, you shook your head in wonder at Rooster. Amidst the shock of his words, you felt impossibly torn between your heart and your head. Your heart wanted you to throw yourself into his arms again and tell him you were willing to start all over. Make that stunning house your own, and figure out what “forever” would look like together. Your head however, screamed out to get up and walk away now before either of you could experience any more pain or heartbreak.

“I’ve always felt that way,” he added. “I know it’s been a long time and there’s so much shit we’d have to figure out, but I love you. Two and a half years and that much has never changed.” The scared smile that blanketed his face made your heart ache, knowing full well you’d always felt the same, despite everything.

You finally found your voice. “I love you too Bradley. I hope you know that that’s never changed for me either,” you confessed with honesty. “I do,” he nodded with an air of confidence in his voice. “Also, Penny kinda confirmed it for me last Thursday. I stopped in here after I got back in town. What a gem of a woman she is.” He chuckled out in amusement as your questioning expression began to form, deepening through your face as you processed his words.

“You’ve been back here since last Thursday?” You exclaimed in wonderment, “Penny didn’t say a fucking thing, I had no clue.” You were completely puzzled that for DAYS she hadn’t come to you with the enormous revelation that Rooster was back in town.

“Doesn’t surprise me, I had a feeling she wouldn’t. You know she’s always meddled in our relationship. Usually to our benefit in the end though I guess,” he grinned as you shook your head once more, knowing he was right.

You thought back to last week, trying to remember anything about that day. If Penny had made any comments that could’ve hinted at the secret of Rooster’s return. “Wait I was working here last Thursday, how did I not see you? I closed the bar that night,” you questioned with a puzzled frown.

“You hadn’t shown up yet I think. I went to go see her before the place was open that day, I needed to talk to her. I had no idea you were back either, until then.” His smile was soft as you watched him sink back into his memory of the conversation he shared with Penny that afternoon. It had changed everything for him.

{last Thursday)

Penny had been happily surprised to see him when he slipped through the back door and into the bar that afternoon. He followed behind the two men who were delivering cases and kegs of beer in preparation for the weekend. She greeted him with a curious grin.

“Hey Rooster.”

“Hey Pen.” He locked eyes with her fondly as he approached the side of the bar she was leaning against.

“What the hell brings you back in here?” Penny inquired, feelings of curiosity and intrigue surfacing as she watched the younger man search himself for an honest answer.

Taking a deep breath, he shared. “Top Gun. They’ve asked if I want a position there as an instructor, and fuck Pen I think I’m doin’ it,” he smiled hesitantly. “And as of today, I’m a signature away from making that house on Mission Beach mine. I’m thinking it’s finally time.” Rooster’s eyes silently begged for some kind of affirmation or advice from his dear friend as she gazed proudly at him.

“I’m really happy for you Bradley,” she nodded, “You belong there, that’s your home. Your dad would be so proud of you.” Her smile was warm and affectionate towards the younger man whom she had known for so much of his life. He fell silent for a moment at the mention of his father, wondering what Goose would truly think of how his son had lived his life, following in his footsteps. The same footsteps that had led him to such a tragically young death.

“I just wouldn’t want him to think that I’m giving up. That I’m choosing the easier road this way.” Rooster confided, still wrestling with all of the emotions that came with returning to North Island, again.

“Just because something is easy, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong,” Penny assured, “your entire life has been one enormous challenge after another. More so than most. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting something consistent in your life. As a matter of fact I think you deserve it.”

He smiled appreciatively, nodding slowly in contemplation. “I just don’t know if I can do this alone. Ever since she left, Penny, I’ve second guessed every single decision that I’ve made. It’s been a year and a half now and I still feel like I’m living in limbo without her.” His face dimmed with sadness just as hers began to shine with hope.

“You’re not the only one that feels that way honey.” Her smile stayed fixed on her beautiful face, waiting for a reaction from the handsome one now sat opposite her.

Rooster’s head snapped up, his eyes narrowing on her expression as he dared to ask, “what do you mean?”

“I mean buy that beautiful house. Take that job. There just might be someone here who doesn’t even realize, she’s still waiting for you.” Penny’s grin was dangerously close to a smirk as she watched the realization hit Rooster.

“Waiting for me? She’s back here?” His tone excited yet doubtful as he questioned the beaming brunette once again. “All I’m saying is you might want to get your ducks in a row, and come back in here one night when you do. I think it’ll be worth your time.”

A new hope flooded through Rooster as he made sense of Penny’s knowing advice. A fraction of him not quite believing that you were back in California again. The day you left he had truly thought it would be the last time, even though the engagement ring he had designed for you was still in his possession. He was never able to let it go.

“Thank you,” he said with sincerity, grinning at Penny with a newfound sparkle in his eye. “Don’t worry about it,” she laughed as she waved him away playfully, “now go wrangle those ducks. I expect to be seeing you.”

“Yes ma’am,” Rooster saluted her happily as he stood up and stepped away from the bar, “you will, I promise.” And just like that he went to sign those papers, leaving Penny with a mischievous smile gracing her face and a renewed faith for your future.

{present day}

“I was wondering why she seemed so certain you’d want to talk to me tonight,” you recalled Penny’s sureness as she ushered you out from behind the bar top earlier. “She told you I was working here again didn’t she?” Your eyes caught his as you interrogated him lightheartedly.

“In a way, she did,” he admitted through a grin, “but I didn’t think you were here tonight at first. When I got here I didn’t see you anywhere, then next thing I know I look up from the piano and there you are.”

“Here I am,” you raised up your hands with a shrug. “The reason you didn’t see me is because I was in the walk-in refrigerator fighting with the goddamned Budweiser,” still feeling exasperated with what a pain in the ass it always is.

“I don’t know why you don’t let Penny change those kegs for you,” Rooster laughed out, shaking his head. His warm skin was glowing in the moonlight and you couldn’t help but just take him in for a moment. You felt your heart skip for just a second as his fingertips grazed your knee. Nevertheless, you gathered yourself for a response, “because I am fully capable of doing it myself, I don’t need help. I just hate doing it, it pisses me off.”

You both giggled for a moment together, enjoying each other’s company as the waves crashed and the bar buzzed from inside. Silence soon settled around you as the weight of the conversation at hand returned. Reaching each other’s eyes once more, you found comfort in his adoring gaze.

“I meant it though darlin’, I love you.” His demeanor was so confident and relaxed as he opened up once again.

“I love you too Roo. I just don’t know if I can do this again. I destroyed an entire year’s worth of love and friendship and memories and dreams. I walked away from the future we were planning because I was scared and selfish. I broke your heart, and I broke my own too,” you shook your head in frustration. “I really can’t understand how you’re able to forgive me after that.”

“It’s because there’s nothing to forgive,” the cadence in his voice was deep, gentle and honest. “Don’t get me wrong, at first, I was angry. So fuckin’ angry. Angry and confused and not able to understand why. But then I really thought about what you said that night, and it made sense. I watched my mom struggle without my dad, and I saw what she went through, raising me on her own. So many moments just felt empty without him. Every birthday that he missed, every milestone, move, graduation. I watched her have to work two jobs just to pay the bills, even with the money we got after he died. Every time their anniversary came around, she would just sit in her room with the door closed and cry quietly so that I couldn’t hear her, but I did.” He had tears in his eyes that were threatening to spill down his cheeks.

“Then I thought about you, and your family. You had siblings, I was an only child. Your mom had so much more on her plate and so much less time to give you. You watched your entire world change at 8 years old when your dad died, and you had younger siblings to worry about too.”

You were nearing tears as he shared his heart with you. Pain and relief mixing, knowing now that he understood your hurt.

“How could I hate you for trying to not suffer through all of that again? If something happens to me while it’s just the two of us, that’s fucking scary enough. But if we have a family, that’s so many more broken hearts and weight to carry. I could never hate you for choosing to save yourself from a future we both had to grow up in.” His voice was cracking as you placed your hand over his.

“I tried to save my heart from breaking if I ever lost you. But in the process I lost you anyways, and broke my own heart as well as yours. I traded the possibility of a beautiful life with you, where we could’ve had forever together, for a certain future without you in it at all. I’m a fucking idiot,” you laughed through your sniffles.

“You’re not an idiot,” Rooster argued, “you were scared, and fear makes you do things. I almost died two and a half years ago because I was too scared. You might be afraid, but you’re not an idiot. I would know, you’ve beaten me at Trivia Crack so many times that I’ve come to wonder if I even went to school at all.”

Your tears ceased as you shook your head, blinking them away through your giggles. “You’re not wrong, I am the trivia queen. You were getting better though.” You smiled at him as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Babydoll what can I say, I fly fighter jets, and you’re the trivia queen. Everyone has their strengths.”

Shooting him a playful glare, you giggled out in response, “still with the Babydoll huh?” “Hey it is your honorary callsign, you earned that shit.” Rooster reminded you with a proud grin, “That moment was the moment I fell in love with you.” He was beaming down at you as the vivid memory of that day replayed in both of your minds.

{two and a half years ago}

The Hard Deck had just officially opened for the day eleven minutes ago, and you were hurriedly finishing the last few things you needed to do to set up the bar for the shift. You were the only one there so far, enjoying the strange level of quiet and peace in the place that was often packed and booming. You were proud that Penny now trusted you with your own set of keys, and the responsibility of running shifts on your own. Always opening and closing to her standards and making sure everything was just right.

A song had been stuck in your head for the last few hours, replaying itself over and over to no end. You hummed it to yourself as you plugged in the jukebox, and made your way over to the many tables and chairs lining the walls. After fixing them so they sat perfectly straight, you set your hands upon your hips and surveyed your work. The small table in the far right corner near the piano reeled your attention in towards it.

You smiled in remembrance of the last time you and Rooster had perched upon the stools, beers in hand. It had been the night before the crew left for their big mission almost a week prior. Penny had given you the night off, knowing your nerves were strained alongside theirs at the unknown of the looming danger that lay ahead of them. Rooster had watched you intently all night. His eyes rarely wandered away from you, drinking you in. Just in case it was the last time.

As if summoned, Rooster entered The Hard Deck, breaking you out of your memory induced trance. Phoenix, Bob, Hangman, Payback, Coyote, Fanboy and a few others in tow behind him. The airmen were still reeling with accomplishment and relief after the incredible success they’d achieved just days ago now.

Payback had cracked some joke, rousing a joyous laugh out of the rest of the crew as they each greeted you warmly, making their way to “their” corner of the bar. Phoenix took a moment to give you a quick hug and then a wink from over her shoulder as she walked away, eyeing Rooster as he headed towards you. You shot her a look of feigned annoyance as she took a seat and blew you a kiss, turning away as you shook your head at her.

Rooster’s long strides led him to where you were in no time at all. The beating of your heart quickened, and your breath almost caught in your throat as you attempted to speak. He was so intoxicating to you that the feeling almost swallowed you whole in his presence.

“Hey, glad you’re back,” you willed your voice to stay cool. “You already said that two nights ago,” he grinned down at you, elbow leaning against the edge of the table. He was so annoyingly attractive that it had become fucking distracting. Tan, smelling of sunshine and the light scent of cologne. “I’m fully aware,” you retorted, “I mean it. I’m glad you’re back. ‘Cause you have yet to buy that drink you promised me before you left.”

He chuckled and agreed, “you’re right you’re right. I guess the last time we had a real drink together it didn’t end so happy huh?” His smile turned down just a little at the memory of the night before he left on his mission.

{the night before the mission}

You’d shed tears in the parking lot giving hugs and saying goodbye to the crew, wracked with fear as to what was to come next for your friends.

Rooster had held you just a little tighter than the rest, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other around your shoulders. You breathed him in as your heart ached, and he let you out of his embrace. “I’m comin’ back to you, and when I do I’m gonna buy you a drink. Maybe somewhere that isn’t here.” A smile broke through your anxious expression at the thought.

“I’d like that. But what’s wrong with The Hard Deck?” You asked, nearly pretending to be insulted. He leaned in closer to you and carefully said, “because if I want to kiss you, the last thing I need is Hangman over my shoulder.” You giggled, despite the heat in your stomach at the tone of his voice. “Hey you’d make him jealous I’m sure, I’d call that a goddamn win.”

Shaking his head, Rooster took a step away from you, reaching into his pocket for the keys to his Bronco. “It would be darlin’, it would be.” He gave you another happy smile as he turned towards it and opened the door, waving to the rest of the airmen and saying his “see you tomorrows.” Getting in and starting the engine, he rolled the windows down and looked you in the eyes. “I’ll see you in a few. I promise.” You nodded your head as your eyes brimmed with tears, “I know you will. Fly safe Bradley.” He gave you a salute, eliciting another small giggle from you, and drove away.

{current flashback}

It was the beginning of the feelings of worry and dread you’d experienced ever since. But with Rooster standing in front of you, safe and sound and still glowing with victory, you let it float out of your mind once more.

“C’mon, go sit and I’ll start up a round for everyone. But next time, you’re buying.” “Yes ma’am,” Rooster chuckled back, his eyes glinting at you as he retreated to join the rest of the airmen. Although he didn’t miss the opportunity to scan your figure as he left your side, shooting you a wink when you caught his gaze.

Within a few minutes, a round of everyone’s favorite beers had been served, and the banter had begun. Once you were back behind the bar top polishing some glasses, Hangman started on a tangent about how you were the only one without a callsign. “Well think about it. None of us call each other by our first names, like ever. But we just call her y/n. It’s weird.” He stated incredulously.

“Because that’s my name, Jake. Normal people don’t need callsigns,” You rolled your eyes as he winced at the the use of his government name. “Plus, don’t you have to earn a callsign somehow? Something embarrassing or noteworthy?” You recalled, remembering the absurd story of how your dad had earned his callsign.

“I’m sure we could figure something out,” Hangman squinted his eyes in a flirtatiously calculating manner. “Would be fun to have something different to call you one night, when you finally let me take you home.” He popped up an eyebrow at you with a facetious grin as the rest of the pilots groaned and chastised him. Your eyes rolled even further back into your head, so much so that you almost caught a glimpse of your own brain.

Despite the flirtatious remarks and dirty propositions Hangman threw your way, your relationship really did consist of far more sibling-like banter, sarcasm, and teasing than anything else. Just apparently not today.

“But really!” He exclaimed, “this one here needs a call sign. She might not be an airman but hey, sooner or later she’ll hop on one.” He winked and smirked over at you devilishly, waiting for your presumably sarcastic comeback.

“Fuck off Seresin. And hey if I ever do ‘hop on’ an airman? You can be sure as hell that it’ll never be you.”

There it is.

Everyone started laughing and “oooing” at Hangman as you set the mug in your hand down and gave him the most taunting glare. “If you say so darlin’. I guess you’ll just never know what you’re missin’,” he held his hands up in imagined defeat.

“Bagman, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to miss there,” Phoenix retorted, “if there was, women would actually come back. I’ve never seen the same woman in your quarters more than once.”

“Wooow,” Coyote whined out painfully.

“Ouch,” Rooster chimed in through a gleeful laugh as his hand came down to smack the table. Your eyes caught his in a knowing look, quite glad he was entertained by the exchange.

You smirked amusedly as you eyed the expression on Hangman’s face, rolling his eyes in annoyance at Phoenix. She then returned the same wonderful glare you had given him earlier, knowing happily that she’d defeated him. Your eyes danced around the corner of the bar, taking in this group of people who in a few short weeks had managed to become like family to you.

Your focus landed on Rooster yet again. A white T-shirt was snug upon his broad shoulders, RayBans were set atop his sun kissed hair and a smile was beaming wide across his face as he laughed with his friends. This. This is what I’ve been waiting for, you thought to yourself.

A couple of hours passed. Penny had come in to help you with the rush, and The Hard Deck had started to buzz with music and the sound of the growing crowd. You were busy at work cleaning glasses, serving drinks and cashing out guests, when some drunk middle aged man at the bar top started harassing you.

It had been almost an hour now of this guy you’d figured out was named “Tony”, badgering you for your phone number, making comments about your body, and being an overall asshole to you and the rest of the guests in the establishment. You had tried to tell him off multiple times to no avail. He even tried to grab your arm once as you were reaching across the counter to clear off an empty glass.

“Babydoll, just one date? I have money, I’m successful, why wouldn’t you want to go on just one date?” “Hey c’mon Babydoll, you’re so fucking hot, please just give me your number.” “Babydoll! A beer? No! I’m fine.” “I know you hear me talking to you Babydoll.”

You were reaching your breaking point. Penny saw it, the crew saw it, and so did Rooster.

Then as you rounded the bar top, and walked over to an empty table to clean it off, he grabbed your arm and said, “Babydoll don’t leave me,” and you finally just cracked. Wrenching your arm out of his grasp you completely lost it, “call me Babydoll one more time and you’re out!”

One by one every head in the bar swiveled in your direction at the sound of your shrill, seething tone.

“Babydolllll…” he drawled out.

And that’s exactly what he was. Out. Out cold.

You clocked him so hard with your fist to the side of his jaw, that he went over the stool he had been leaning on and landed flat on the ground. Unconscious. The whole bar gasped and hollered, some people even cheered.“Holy shit is he dead?” Some drunk guy yelled. “Of course not jackass!” Penny snapped back through her laughter, “he just finally shut up!”

You stood there in stunned silence before your shock was interrupted.

“Hey wait!” Hangman stood up from his chair and exclaimed, “Fuck! That’s it! Babydoll! That’s her callsign!” The whole group cheered and laughed hysterically as you looked over in exasperation. Shaking out your hand that now hurt like a bitch.

“Welcome to the family Babydoll,” Rooster and Phoenix declared in unison, earning yet another eye roll from you tonight as they raised their beers to you. “Babydoll? Really?” You watched over the crew in amusement as you laughed. “Hey, you earned it,” Rooster “cheersed” to you as he grinned, admiration painted all over his face.

{present day}

You shook your head in disbelief and giggled at the memory. “That was the day? That really was the day you fell in love with me? Because I knocked out “Handsy Tony” with my bare fist?” You smiled up at him as his eyes locked into yours.

“Yeah, yeah it was,” he nodded his head, sharing in your laughter. “You stood up for yourself, threw a mean punch, and looked hot doin’ it. Dreamgirl.” You fully broke out into the giggles as you held your head in your hands. Trying to fathom the notion that Rooster had unconsciously chosen that moment to fall in love with you.

He smirked down at you as you laughed. Pride swelling within his chest at knowing that he was the cause of your happiness in this moment. Your shining eyes and amused smile made his own spread even further across his face, creeping up to his eyes as he watched you intently.

It had been so long. So long he’d wished to see you again, to hear your voice, your laugh, to see your smile as it beamed up at him. The thought made his heart pang with the hurt he’d felt since the day you left. However, it was quickly dulled by the ever growing joy and ease that was building within him.

“You’re something else,” you remarked, an adoring gaze meeting his. “So are you,” he added, grabbing your hand as it rested on your lap, lacing your fingers with his.

How this moment made you feel was something you never even knew was a feeling. It was happiness, tinged with regret, with so much anxiousness, love, want, and uncertainty that you felt like you were about to burst from it.

“Let me take you on a date. You can catch me up on all of the fun things you’ve been doing without me,” he proposed, waiting for your response with a degree of hesitancy. “Oh all of the fun things huh? That conversation would last about four minutes,” you chuckled, “but yeah that’d be nice Roo.”

The corner of his mouth tugged up into a smirk. “If you’re free Tuesday I can take you to Bluewater?” Your favorite restaurant. “I’m sure Penny would let that slide,” you assured him with a smile and a nod. “Then it’s a date. I’ll pick you up at six? I’d say wear something nice, but when you look like that all of the time, I don’t even think it’s necessary.” He complimented you, earning another grin as you let go of his hand for a moment to playfully shove his knee.

“Oh stop,” you attempted to dampen his flattery, although you were quite happy to hear it. “You know damn well I don’t look like this all of the time,” you gestured at yourself with your free hand, “you’ve seen me when I first wake up in the morning. Not a pretty sight.” “My statement stands,” he reaffirmed, “there’s never been a time where I haven’t thought you were the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. Somehow even the back of your head is attractive to me.”

“Okay now,” you scolded him with your doubt, even though you were smiling so hard your cheeks were beginning to sting. “Glad to know I’m beautiful even when I’m walking away from you.”

Stopping in your tracks, your shining smile halted alongside your laughter as you realized the trigger of the words you had just spoken. Locking eyes with Rooster, his smile never faded as he followed with, “you are, and you were.” His gaze and expression still adoring, refusing to let that pained memory interfere with the happiness of this moment.

“Well thank you,” you finally accepted his sweet words. “I could say the same for you, Mr. ‘I don’t age, I just get hotter’.” He chuckled at your honest observation, happy to see the smile returning to your face. Reaching for your hand once more, he gave it a small squeeze and tilted his head to the side. Letting a moment of contended and comfortable silence pass, you just enjoyed being in one another’s presence again after all this time.

“Let me give you a ride home,” Rooster propositioned, hoping that he’d have your permission. “That would be great actually. Penny drove me here today, Stella is in the shop again.” “You still have that damned thing?” Rooster exclaimed, “I didn’t think it would make it another six months, even back then! Fuckin’ piece of junk,” he tilted his head back as he laughed.

“Hey! That piece of junk has lasted me 206,790 miles, three heartbreaks, five moves across four states and still has plenty of fight left in her. And her name is Stella.” You defended your car through your laughter. It was a blue 1997 Jeep Wrangler that drank so much gas it was almost physically painful every time you went to fill it up. It also overheated anytime the temperature went above 88 degrees, which for San Diego was all of the time, and fully broke down about every three months.

Nevertheless, you loved the damned thing and you were pretty sure that she loved you back.

“One of these days you are gonna need to find another car darlin’,” Rooster reminded you as his laughter quieted. “I know I am, it’s just not going to be today, it’s not her time.” “Alright we’ll I’m sure you know her better than I do. I concede,” Rooster’s tone was amused and happy.

Being so close to him felt like a breath of fresh air, and at the same time also reminded you of the comfort of your favorite blanket. Light, yet warm, refreshing yet familiar. He felt like home. Your home.

His eyes were so dark and inviting, and his fingers laced within yours made you feel so safe and content. It was a feeling you were now realizing you hadn’t felt in a year and half. Sure there had been good times spent with friends and family since then, and a couple of dates that had been fun and easy. But nothing like home, nothing like him.

“I missed you Rooster.”

“I missed you too Babydoll.”

The looks on your faces were just alike. Blissfully happy that you were in each other’s presence again, and so glad to be home. Both in the place you had grown up in, and in each other.

“So how ‘bout I give you that ride home?”

“Sounds good to me.” He gave your hand a light squeeze as he let it go, and you both got up from the table. Your beer was now warm and half empty as you pulled it off the table and walked over to the edge of the deck. Pouring the rest of it out into the sand, you brought your finger to your lips in a “shh” gesture towards Rooster.

“Penny can never know. You know how she hates wasted beer,” you mused as you shook out the last few drops from the bottle, and joined Rooster as he turned to head back into the bar. He opened the door and the noise returned in full force. The pulse of the jukebox booming and people talking and laughing.

The bottle was soon discarded in a trash can behind the bar as you went to retrieve your purse from a shelf below the counter. Rooster leaned against the wall, car keys jingling faintly between his fingers as he waited for you with a smile. The smile and his attention then darted to over your shoulder just as you caught his eyes, now bending over to grab your purse.

“I see you finally made up,” Penny observed with an accomplished look on her face. One that only Rooster could currently see. You almost smacked the back of your head on the counter as she startled you. “Jesus Pen where did you come from?” You brought yourself upright, purse in hand, and turned around to face her.

“I’m everywhere baby,” she joked, bringing her voice down lower, “and I saw you pour out my beer.” “Damnit Penny were you watching us from the window the entire time?” You accused with a grin. “No, but I did see that.” “Of course you did.” You both giggled as she gave you a hug goodbye. She smelled like lilies and vanilla and just a little bit of beer as the night was gradually coming to an end.

“Love ya honey, make sure he gets you home safe,” she added with a smile, pulling away from you. “He always does,” you reassured. Both of you turned towards Rooster as he tipped his imaginary hat to Penny in a “thank you.”

“Keep her safe Bradshaw or I’ll have your head.”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, hooking his arm through yours as you made your way over to him. “Goodnight Penny,” you said in unison, giving her a wave goodbye. The walk to the Bronco was quiet and comfortable, Rooster helping you into the passenger side and closing the door. He handed you his phone once he got in and started the engine, “here, put in your address for me.”

You chuckled quietly to yourself as the Face ID still recognized you, and the phone unlocked. His background wallpaper was set to a picture of his mom and dad, sat together at the piano in their old home. It sent a smile across your face, wishing you could have gotten the chance to know them, to meet the people who raised the love of your life.

You handed the phone back over to him with the gps set to your new address and headed home. The drive there was laced with so many memories. The windows were rolled down, and the warm San Diego air was filling your lungs. Rooster had one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your knee, drawing circles with his fingers mindlessly as he drove. You had an arm wrapped around his, and the look he shot you at a red light made you hold him even tighter.

Memories of long drives down PCH in the summer sun came flooding back to you. Music blaring from the car speakers as you sang along to your favorite songs together. Stealing joyful glances at each other, and letting your hands wander dangerously across his lap as he clutched the steering wheel. Your hair flying around your shoulders as he shot you a warning glance, daring you to venture further.

The realization that those moments could very well happen again hit you, and it hit you hard. Unless this second chance goes south, you have a shot at reliving all of those beautiful moments you had shared with Rooster. Making dinner together at home at night, going to see all of the new movies together at the theater by the beach. The many late nights spent talking about anything and everything over a glass of wine with a record playing in the background.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even register the fact that Rooster had already turned into your neighborhood and up to your place, pulling into the driveway and parking the car. He left the engine running as he hopped out, rounding the front of the Bronco and opening up your door. You threw your purse over your shoulder and took his hand as he helped you out of the car.

He walked you up the front steps to your porch and turned to face you as you reached the door. You didn’t want to say goodbye to him yet. There was so much lost time to make up for and you didn’t want to waste any of it.

For the first time tonight you wrapped your arms around him, letting the safety and comfort of his embrace wash over you as he held you close. A cricket chirped from a bush nearby and the rumble of the Bronco’s engine filled the air, lending a pleasant ambiance to the moment.

Finally pulling away, you were the first one to speak since you left the bar. “Thank you for coming to find me.” His smile was calm as he answered, “I will always find you wherever you are.”

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s a promise.”

“Good.” The events of today flicked through your mind like a flip book. Stopping on one moment as it halted on a picture in your mind while you were digging through your purse for your house keys. “Did you really buy our house Bradley?” You looked up at him as the surprise struck you yet again.

“Our house, I like that.” He was grinning with joy at the use of the word. You hadn’t even realized your choice of words until they’d left your mouth.

“I really did. It went on the market and I couldn’t pass it up. It’s all ours.”

Letting your purse hit the ground you took a leap of faith. Reaching up towards him you kissed him, letting any remaining tension melt away as he leaned into you. His hands came up to hold your cheeks, not letting your lips leave his.

The taste of him. You’d almost forgotten it.

Finally pulling away, you rested your foreheads against one another and drank in the moment for as long as you possibly could.

“I missed that.”

“Me too,” your voice was quiet, almost breathless.

He tilted his head up to press a kiss to your forehead as ran his fingers through your hair. Your eyes met his and you returned his pleased smile. He created space between you as you retrieved your purse from your feet, pulling your keys out and taking a deep breath.

“Tuesday at 6?” He asked once again, taking a step back towards the front of the porch.

“It’s a date.” You grinned, reaching the door and unlocking it with a click.

“Goodnight Babydoll.”

“Goodnight Rooster.”

Stepping into the doorway you shot him one last glance before you closed the door. You heard the latch of his car door open and the thud of its close as you let your poor purse fall to the floor once more. You heard him pull out of the driveway and down the street as your back hit the door, sighing deeply.

Fuck. Here we go again.

————————————————————————

Yayyy Reader and Rooster are officially reunited! I have so much in mind for this series and I’m so excited to continue to write this love story. There will be smut in future posts so please note they’ll be 18+.

Thank you so much for all of the love so far and let me know what your favorite line or part was!

Comment to be added to the taglist

TAGLIST: @n3ssm0nique @igotmajordaddyissues @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @lilpbj @rosiahills22

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vintage-brass-tc · 8 months

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TC Vent? Even though U and I are still on good terms, it’s just sort of a brain dump about recent events and how they’ve been affecting my mindset.

It’s so tough to support him and love him in everything he wants, when that “everything” could possibly include another girl, a staff member, who is so compatible with him and is always found talking to or laughing with him, making similar gestures that he does, acting similar to him in tiny, barely noticeable ways, and is so talented in ways that he would probably love in a woman. And, obviously, she’s around his age too….which is so perfect for him, but it really hurts me

A week or two ago, we spent the whole jazz class teasing him about the possibility of him liking this girl, and I was egging him on and teasing him so much about how smiley he was, explaining to him just why we all thought they’d be perfect together; I told him about their chemistry and how closely they stood to each other and their similar behaviors, etcetera, telling him every little thing I noticed that would be so, so perfect for him. In that moment, I felt so happy, playfully messing with U and making him all smiley and helpless, covering his face, to the point where, in a hushed, flustered voice, with wide, desperate eyes, he told me to stop making fun of just how giddy he was. I laughed at his desperation and his cute, antsy attitude. It reminded me of myself.

But it was about another girl, someone who I think is probably perfect for him. Part of me wants to believe that one of the reasons he asked me to stop, among sparing him more embarrassment, was because he might have known that the thought of the two together would eat me up inside. And if he was thinking that…he’d be right. As the school day had continued, I went from being all giggly and smiley to finally realizing that he would have someone perfect for him. Someone who would give him the love that I would have given, someone who would make his life more fun and full of surprise and adventure, someone who he could focus all of his attention on.

If the two of them actually got together….I, naturally, would support them in every endeavor. Because I love him, and want the best for him, and I know the girl would treat him well. But that would also mean that it’d be the end of my (fantastical) relationship with him. My delusional interpretations of our extended moments of eye contact, the way he would say my name, his body language around me, the way he’d smile or laugh or tease. All of that would be over…. but at least he would be happy.

Since then, apart from one brief mention of her, I never heard him talk about her again. In fact, they haven’t been around each other that often either. And things with him and I have resumed as normal….with the interactions that leave my face red and a smile etched on my lips by the end of class.

But after all of that time spent encouraging him that she was perfect for him, and that there was something there between them, even if he’s never brought it up after that, the entire ordeal kind of snapped my mind back into reality. Ever since then, bit by bit, I’ve become sort of depressed and miserable at the thought of my infatuation with him, because I now recognize how impossible that would really be. A girl like me, young but not super smart or confident or attractive or talented, could never compete with a lot of other girls who are his age, and have a more stereotypically attractive body type.

It’s just super unrealistic, and while I still love him to bits, and still desire to have something with him (a desire I would never follow through with, of course), I have to accept the truth. Though he is so perfect in every way, shape, and form, and even my father mentioned that this director of mine, so devoted, genuine, driven, and humorous, would be the exact type of person that he sees me having a committed relationship with in the future…. it probably won’t happen. Even if he were to love me too…. I don’t know how it could ever work out.

It’s just tough to recognize that.

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peggycatrerr · 1 year

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i know this is the sort of statement that people would absolutely take in bad faith and crucify me for if it blew up but the way some people online talk about communication and the way they feel their neurodivergence impacts it is just plain selfish. like, yeah, of course you should be able to be your most authentic self without being judged or looked down upon, but guess what? that’s not always what people are doing to you when they express discomfort or frustration with the way you went about something. i think people have gotten so caught up in the idea that actually, the real problem is the neurotypical expectations of society, that they’ve circled around to a good ol’ “you don’t owe anyone kindness! you don’t owe anyone anything!” style approach. and as a result, they’ve become convinced that anyone who doesn’t get along with them must just judging them for having visible symptoms.

but here’s the thing:

communication is a two-way street.

maybe you tend to interrupt people a lot. it’s not coming from a place of being inconsiderate, it’s purely automatic. and maybe you got made to feel bad about that when you were a little kid and you never figured out how to let go of that bad feeling, and then you saw a tiktok telling you that this was about impulse control, that the interruptions came from hyperactivity. and now, maybe, you feel absolved. now when someone feels like you’re not listening to them when you interrupt them, you just tell yourself that that person’s ableist and needs to learn how to tolerate you. except... more often than not? that’s not the case at all. in fact, maybe, that person is also neurodivergent, and knows exactly what causes the urge to interrupt, and maybe that’s why they feel like they can comfortably say “hey man, you interrupt me a lot and it makes me feel like you don’t value what i have to say” without you accusing them of ableism, to their face or otherwise. and when you say “well this is just what i’m like, get used to it or leave”, do you know which of those options they’re more likely to pick?

or maybe your go-to way to try to connect with people is to tell them about something similar that you’ve experienced. and maybe it’s the same thing where once you learned what caused this, you came to the conclusion that you should be allowed to do it whenever you felt the urge and that everyone else needed to learn how to understand, like, “neurodivergent communication styles” or something. but maybe you do it every single time someone tells you something. maybe you do it in really inappropriate situations. maybe you go into way too much detail when you do it, to the point where you’ve actually swung the conversation around to being about your thing instead. i’ve known people who would do that last one and then, when i tried to gently redirect things back to the original topic without being rude to them, they would ignore me and keep talking about themselves, only to use their neurodivergence as an excuse if i brought it up more directly. do you know why? it’s because they only cared about their own experience in the conversation. they could not comprehend the fact that the way they spoke to me had an effect on me.

and look, nobody, regardless of neurotype, is perfect. nobody is ever going to go through life without ever hurting someone else’s feelings in a perfectly preventable situation. but... if you can minimise how often you hurt people’s feelings, wouldn’t you? who you are is not a fixed thing. no, not even your symptoms. if you seem to constantly be hurting people’s feelings, then you need to accept that you’re the common denominator, and that you are capable of working on that. will it be uncomfortable? yeah, of course! does that mean it’s actually just masking and that these people are ableist pricks who are forcing you to be inauthentic to meet their standards? NO. it means that learning and growing takes time and effort, and that the time and effort required from you will probably be greater than the time and effort required of a neurotypical person who is doing similar things for different reasons, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you.

and the process of breaking those habits is going to look different for everybody. maybe you’d fare best learning how to recognise the weight of the situation you’re in and consciously thinking “would this be an appropriate time to tell my own story”. maybe you’d fare best learning how to decrease the length of that relatable story so it really is just a related anecdote and not a diversion of topic from the other person’s problems to yours. maybe you just can’t suppress the urge to interrupt so you find coping mechanisms instead, like jotting down the thing you want to say and saying “hey can we circle back to this thing when you’re done” so that way you don’t forget the thought you had but you don’t have to sacrifice paying attention to remember it. it could be literally anything, and it could start out small too, if you’re not someone who finds it easy to develop new habits.

and the thing is, none of those require you to “seem neurotypical” or to “act like a neurotypical” or to mask. you do not have to try to never interrupt or never express your understanding of a situation through the fact that you’ve been through something similar or whatever else it is you may do that has caused other people to feel devalued. there are plenty of neurodivergent people in this world who are able to be their authentic selves and be considerate to the person they’re talking to.

but if you’re doing something so constantly that it feels like everyone in your life has asked you to be more considerate, then please, try your best to remember that they’re as sentient as you are and that everyone has the ability to impact others for better or worse and that your intentions don’t negate that impact, and that everyone has the ability to try to be a little bit nicer. even just a little, if that’s all you can manage.

#steph's post tag #i've been seeing an uptick in posts from people trying to justify their refusal to make even the slightest change to their behaviour #and it's like god. god i have been on the receiving end of shit from a few people like this over the years and #the urge to grab them by the shoulders and say ''YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH!! THE WAY YOU TALK TO PEOPLE AFFECTS #THE PEOPLE YOU TALK TO!!'' is always so strong #but i don't do that because i know that the way i talk to other people affects them <3

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justafairytailofinnocence · 2 years

Note

Sorry for bothering you with requests 😅 but I genuinely love the way you write so could I request a one shot about fem reader who liked snaps since they were in school together but didn’t approach it because she respected that he loved lily but after years she still held those feelings for him and maybe on a late night they drink and causally confesses like oh yeah I’ve always felt things towards you

Hello dear💖, thanks for your request.

Severus Snape x Reader✨

My old friend🌹

Working at Hogwarts is the best thing that’s happened to me, I get to be surrounded by warm people. I was a professor, a professor for the dark arts, although it’s only temporary after the incident with Lupin they’ve been searching around for a good teacher. I’ll explain during my younger years at Hogwarts I studied hard to try and become an aurora however my skills weren’t on the same level as the smarter witches. My family were well known in the dark arts division, my mother was a strong aurora who knew defensive spells while my father worked at Hogwarts. I was quite a strong witch, Dumbledore even stated “following your family’s path doesn’t mean you have to be great, you’re quite a strong witch on your own y/n and I admire your courage and bravery for such a dangerous life path”.

I wasn’t exactly rich in fact I was rather poor, finding a job with my skill set wasn’t exactly easy. I thought about owning a dark artifacts shop, they often come off as popular, but I want to do more then just sit around and wait for someone to buy something. I wanted to help the wizarding world and defend students from evil people, I met Dumbledore a few years after Hogwarts.

I was sitting in Hogsmeade alone, I had no one to talk to nor even have anyone to pay attention to. An old man sat next to me and asked me “Why hello y/n, it’s been sometime old friend hasn’t it” the glint in his voice sounded familiar. “Professor Dumbledore, Merlin’s beard it’s been years since I’ve seen you, are you grabbing a butterbeer too?” I questioned, Holy jumping crickets I would never expect to find him here. “No dear y/n, I’m afraid that’s not why I came you see, your family has been known to be quite famous in the dark arts” Dumbledore smiled softly, “I’ve seen many talented witches and wizards for my time, but none have come close to you, would you like a job in Hogwarts”.

I nearly spat out my butterbeer, my eyes were full of confusion and yet happiness. Dumbledore softly laughed to himself as he saw my face with a moustache of butterbeer across my lips. “Yes sir, uh Professor Dumbledore sir” I was rather giddy inside, Sweet Dragon pop rocks I’m finally something I’ve wanted to be.

So that’s how I earned my title as a professor, most of my students were rather kind and giving. Well, the Slytherins think I’m Ridiculous, I’ve had quite a handful of comments from Malfoy and his gang although a teacher has a few tricks up her sleeve. I had quite a few fans mostly from the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, I had met a very famous young wizard indeed, Harry potter. I don’t think I’ve ever met a brighter young wizard in my life, Granger and Weasley on the other hand were certainly a delight. Granger often got all the answers correct and performed her spells at an excellent rate, she is rather fun to talk to. Weasley is quite goofy although he is brave at heart.

The classes were exceptionally hard at times, I wanted to help the students learn something great. In my younger years of Hogwarts, I wanted to be like my father, a Defence against the dark arts professor, although my mind was already set on becoming an aurora for the wizarding world.

I must admit when I was working here, I had no idea Severus would be working here as well, he was a potions teacher and a wicked one at that. I have memories of the small boy sitting in the corner of the class not speaking to anyone. I never really caught up with him as I didn’t want to be a bother but from what Longbottom and potter tell me he seems heinous towards his students. Believe it or not that potions professor used to be the only one I loved; I couldn’t approach him not because I was nervous but there was already a girl he fell deeply infatuated with.

When I heard, he was aiming to become a death eater, I could not bear to see him, they were the people my mother was trying to save us from. Death eaters if your wondering are very terrible, terrible people that support the dark lord. They’ve murdered countless of lives and by merlin they’ve nearly killed me when I was a child. I was lucky enough to have my father there although, it cost his life. My mother fell with grief, and I swore to help students who’s been affected by those terrible wizards.

I had heard the terrible news; the girl Severus knew had passed away. I felt so bad that I could not bear to see him miserable, it was never me anyways, it was always her.

So, if you are wondering where I am right now, I am drinking my old soul away with butterbeer. Hogsmeade is a good place to get away from the stress of teaching. I gulped the last cup for the night, it was Christmas after all, and I often spent it with my mother although tonight it was not the best time. I was lonely, everyone outside had left to go back to their families.

I got up from the chair and bid the bartender goodnight, stepping outside into the freezing air was rather unpleasant. “You’re here” a dull voice spoke from behind “oh Ah! Severus merlin’s beard you scare me”. I couldn’t move, my face went redder as the snow blew “it’s been some time y/n” Severus’s expressions hadn’t even changed, he was still the same stone-cold man many students had feared. “Yeah I, I suppose it has been Sevy” I felt weird saying that but back then that’s what I nicknamed him. Severus grabbed my arm from beneath his cloak and helped me inside “Your freezing y/n, have you been really that stupid enough to forget to that heating potion”.

I couldn’t even think, my nose was running like a cold, wet, dripping tap. “Your absurd y/n, you would’ve ended up catching cold” Severus was rather worried in a weird way, he never really took care of me before. “Don’t pressure yourself Sevy I’m fine” I shivered, he placed me in front of the fireplace “your cold you stupid girl” he complained “but Sevy-”.

“Hush” he firmly ordered, “two butterbeers” he pulled out some knuts and galleons to pay for the drinks. I smiled softly to myself; it was the first time anyone had cared about my safety “Thanks Sevy”. Severus raised an eyebrow and drunk the butterbeer, even I couldn’t understand how he didn’t get a moustache from that. “I do hope your forgetful mind will remember to keep warm during the winter” he raised an eyebrow “S-So how’s classes been Sevy”. Perhaps it was just me but when I knew the man when he was younger, he was so shy he couldn’t speak to anyone and Merlin he was bullied.

I was the one to stand up for him even after the marauders had damaged or harmed him. “Do you remember when we went nearby the black lake and we would eat together” I remember the day like it was no other, the sun was shining, our skin felt the warmth rays touching our faces. I was laying down and he reached for my hand, for the first time I saw Severus smile.

“My Classes are imprudent and yet tolerable if the students behave” he drunk more of the butter beer further continuing on the question I had asked, he answered “Indeed, it seems long ago” he softly muttered. I felt warmer with him, it may have been the fire but the tips of my cheeks and nose were going somewhat red. I had no intention of muttering these very words out, but it seemed like he had moved on and it was an emotional scene. “Severus back at school, back when we were young, I had always admired you, you were the only boy to make my heart pound like a troll beating a rock”.

“I knew you had your own life and friends but to this day I couldn’t stop thinking about you” I was a bit tired and misty eyes, so I thought about the memories we shared. I blame my emotional behind for getting weepy. I was expecting Severus to call me a “dunderhead” or “foolish” but instead what I got was “You’re an exceptionally talented witch y/n, even if you’re a dunderhead at times” he softly admits.

I felt a sensation coming over me, leaning in towards his lips was an interesting experience. I pressed my soft lips against his, it wasn’t at all like snogging. This was my first kiss and when I parted the scent of old leather lingered, Severus stared at me with widened eyes. He stuttered “Y-you care for me after all this time” it was like the little boy he used to be was back.

“Always”.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta✨

Oneshot requests: open

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