#I’m probably gonna delete this later lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

themoonunderstoodmydadjokes · 1 month

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Y’all ever just wanna have fun and not worry about anything but then your brain keeps yelling “be sad! Be sad right now! No fun only sad!

#I’m probably gonna delete this later lol #I am a mixed bag of emotions tonight #and I didn’t even drink #so sad hours are also sober sad hours #anyways you saw nothing #sad girl hours are here #sorry y’all #gonna have to deal with my emotions for the night

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brothfan1997 · 4 months

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the problem with working a job where u interact with like 1500 people per day & u are supposed to be charming and informative the whole time is that sometimes you are so weird on accident?? and u say something that is so weird to say to another person out loud ?? and u just have to be like :) lets pretend that was normal. do you have any other questions

#me sitting at my table in silence recounting my day and visibly wincing repeatedly etc etc #to be fair to myself people say really weird things to me and then i have to respond.#i think sometimes disney adults expect childrens museum employees to all be like disneyland character employees.#which we are not i’m not actually doing a bit i’m just some guy who works here and will talk to your kid about dinosaurs ??#if your kid points to a dead bug and asks if its dead (this is in the context of letting children touch preserved specimens)#im literally not gonna play along and lie to your child that is ridiculous #its not sleeping. i am here to talk about science #LOL i will probably delete this later i am so exhausted holiday break sure is… breaking me…#2600 people today…#unrelated sometimes people come up to me later to compliment my stage shows and i think in the new year #im just gonna start being like :) what parts did you enjoy ? elaborate please #i feel like im doing improv all the time.

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disengaged · 7 days

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just gave award-winning head in the backseat of a 2012 nissan sentra . please clap

#i love sucking dick lol i’ve gotten so good at it. like i know i’m gonna haunt this dude’s memories forever #it’s probably problematic for me to stake my self-esteem on Being Good At Sex but it’s so hot #like to know i’m capable of bringing someone that much enjoyment ……………….. yes!#pegasus speaks #i hate it when one-night stands text me back months/years later and yet it’s also the best. like hell yeah you’re still thinkin about me lol #nsft #nsft mention #ask to tag idk #also it was huge. i deserve some kind of medal for the wicked jaw ache i’ve incurred #delete later

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arcsin27 · 8 months

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There are many reasons I should stop feeling bad for having a persona comship, but the funniest one I’ve come up with is that… this is persona. The bang your teacher franchise. It’s not like my stuff is any less moral than canon lol

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sapphicsnzs · 2 months

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im so grateful for this corner of the internet where i can just get my frustrations out

#self obs #i will delete this later but i just need to get it out #i told my two best friends about how i got rejected and they both were just like move on lol #like i don’t think they realize how awful i feel right now like literally that was my dream and im scared im never gonna be able to do it #i also somehow have to tell my parents and that’s a whole different problem #my parents are already up my ass about me quitinh my job for no reason #well basically i think they’re trying to get me to move home for the summer which doesn’t make sense to quit my job i’ve been working at #for almost a year to come back and get a job for a month #but like i can’t think of another reason that my parents would randomly want me to quit my job #so i’m stressed about that and now i also have to tell them i got rejected and now i can’t start the part of my degree that i need for my #fucking job and fuck i’m so stressed and don’t know what to do #and im just like so embarrassed and everyone is acting like its not a big deal even tho like if i apply again i probably won’t even get it #because i didn’t even make it past the interview phase and anyways im just so upset with myself and everything #i like actually thought my life was turning around and i was gonna be happy finally but nope #anyways this is just me sobbing and trying to let out my frustrations because no one will actually listen or validate that i’m upset #whatever im gonna go drink some wine and probably pass out on the floor of my room

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selfindulgentfandomstuff · 5 months

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Me when someone is actively transphobic and misogynistic in the same breath (written sentence) and when called on it (very politely and gently for that matter) gets mad about it saying they “already know and just want someone to push them to change”. What.

#vent #vent tw #tw vent #yes I’m vagueing someone in a discord server I’m in I’m not really all that sorry abt it #like. you’re actively admitting you’re a bigot and I’m supposed to what? just be okay with that??#coddle you so you’re bigot feelings don’t get hurt??#nope sorry not doing that #props to the other members of the server who were actually nice to this person #/gen #I jsut stayed silent bc I had nothing nice to say fr #sorry if you say you don’t trust a marginalized group as a whole bc one person part of it victimized you I jsut don’t trust you #I’m gonna get in trouble for this post I just know it 😭#delete later probably. we’ll see how I’m feeling lol

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e77y · 6 days

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Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

#vent #cw vent #rant #delete later #<- like tomorrow morning I’m shre #usually I delete stuff like this immediately but I’ll try to keep it up #was talking to my mom earlier about OCD and intrusive thoughts and whatnot….#she definitely has it too. like undoubtedly #her intrusive thoughts and compulsions sounded exactly like mine #which sucks for me bc my dad ALSO definitely has OCD (in a more outwardly recognizable way) so! wahoo! double whammy #just feeling kinda defeated about mental health stuff #I feel like it’s never gonna get better #I need to go to therapy or a psychiatrist or SOMETHING #it’s been like 4 years now since I was originally supposed to go lol #and I keep putting it off out of fear (I think)#my friends (irls) have all been getting diagnoses and prescriptions lately #which is exciting for them but :( idk. I feel like there’s no way to medicate whatever I’ve got going on except SSRIs????#and I don’t really want that #mostly though I’m just scared of going back to therapy or to a psychiatrist bc I think they’ll think I’m lying or crazy or whatever #which sounds stupid when I write it out but idk #I should probably keep a journal but when I’m only writing for my own eyes I just kinda wallow in it and write concerning poetry lol #I like journaling in a way other people can see (even if y’all DON’T like seeing it lmaoooo) bc it makes it feel more real?#and out of my head.. concrete etc.#wackyposting #<- seriously need to change that tag still lol

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vacantgodling · 11 months

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we have got to allow nuanced readings of female characters is2g

#meaning: she can be complex and well written and i can still not like her #nowadays i feel like people see you dislike a female character and it’s like #an affront to their existence when it’s like #my guy opinions exist and she can be well written and i can still hate her #or dislike her #whatever #i mean #there are many male characters that are well written and consistent and i don’t like them either so?#like it’s not feminism to say if you think a woman has done something wrong or you aren’t int in them that you’re a piece of shit #that’s actually insane tbh #ren hot cakes #i’m gonna delete this later probably i’m just ANNOYED lol

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lunargrapejuice · 4 months

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the urge & fear to write is very real

#but I do not wish to feel them at the same time #so write that down brain & remember it #I am yearning but honestly so scared it’s just gonna be trash & ooc & my brain can handle it #ahhhhhhg!!!!#why are all of my ideas so dumb omg help #sedate me or something until this passes #now I’m just anxious lol #omg please just ignore me #luna talking into the void #delete later probably

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prisonpodcast · 1 year

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#this is gonna be kind of a vent and it may be incoherent so..#seeing everyone talk about how they want to leave dtblr these past few days is so relieving how are we all thinking the same thing at the #same time #idk for me I’m probably not gonna go anywhere but I cannot lie. the fact that our community is more discourse and neg than #actual talk about content is really draining sometimes #it also dosent help that there isn’t that much content recently that I find interesting aside from the occasional dream video #so I guess there really isn’t that much to talk about except for drantis and how much we either love or hate Karl Jacobs #tbh I miss lore LOL the fandom was more fun when that was going on + also it’s wayyy easier stomaching discourse about #fictional characters than real people #like don’t get me wrong I’ve neg posted about ccs too but sometimes this community will talk more about how they hate Karl than like. their #own faves content. like I don’t even care about Karl in the slightest but like it’s just draining when there’s so much negativity all the #time instead of like. live-blogging and excitement over new content #not just Karl tho I used him as an example but like. everyone on the ‘ccs dtblr hates’ list #AND it dosent. help that I don’t really care about George or sapnaps content like at all and Im more of just an sbi main who also likesdream #which sucks bc there aren’t many sbi fans that are normal enough about Dream to follow #so I don’t fit with that community either #and I still don’t really feel like I fit with dreblr too bc I’m more of a ctechno main but idk lol #and like the few non dtblr people I follow seem to always be having such a much better time than us which really dosent help #sorry for the random sad post lmao #I’ll probably delete later I just want to get it out of my system bc sometimes complaining about things makes you feel better about thething #and before anyone’s like ‘just leave why’re you sat here complaining’#I like this community and I like talking about my interests and reading posts about stuff I like on here #I haven’t really lost interest in the content there’s just a lack of it. I just wish the community was less neg all the time #like it’s even something I need to work on with myself lol #this is so long LMAO it’ll probably get deleted in a bit

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redemptiionss · 7 months

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I’ve never been great at making or maintaining relationships with people irl (probably due to several reasons) and now as an adult with a full time job, idk how making friends / meeting people is even possible… My life rn for the past few years has been just work and home lol. There’s nothing much here for me outside of that. I’ve tried to go to a few Deaf events but there’s almost never anyone in my age group lol so that’s not much of an option either!

And lately it’s really hit me that I’m just a couple years away from turning thirty and I’m not turning any younger ya know? I feel like I don’t have much to show for it and I’m still single lol.

And that’s a whole another issue tbh. Because I have very very mixed feelings about men tbh, partially from my personal experiences. And so it’s hard for me lol even if I do want to get married and have kids. Back then I felt like I had all the time in the world and so dating / looking for a romantic partner was never a priority for me but now? Idk. I don’t think I have regrets as I never liked any of the guys who’s liked me, but I do wonder if I should have tried harder in the dating aspect, which, yeah. Idk. It’s hard for me to do that when I’ve never been quite comfortable around men. 😅 not that most of them ever cared about making sure I was comfortable around them and without pressuring me though, tbh. But overall I feel like I’ve probably self sabotaged myself with like a lot of relationships / friendships in general.

So like idk. I’m trying not to despair but there are times where I wish I didn’t exist or that I would die and everything seems hopeless and tbh I think I’m just a bit depressed. 🙃