#I’m just saying there’s more than one kind of queer stop saying the wrong one exclusively | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unfortunate17 · 28 days

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i agree with you about being frustrated with how often this fandom has top/bottom discussions but its a pretty common talking point in most fandoms so YR isn’t special for that

No I totally agree with you that it’s a common topic of discussion in a lot of fandoms, but there’s a particular way we have it in this fandom that really grinds my gears.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if you hc Wilmon to be vers or if you think Wille tops or Simon tops or whatever - it’s the justification and reasoning that I’m seeing behind these headcanons that I find deeply irritating and, frankly, insulting and kind of homophobic.

This is going to get long so forgive me.

1. I’ve seen so many posts talk about how the show is “brave” and “subversive” by having Wille go down on Simon or potentially bottom, but like - what the hell are we even talking about? In what world is it subversive to show a queer character having queer sex?? What are we subverting?? This show has never shown us anything with its intimate scenes other than two guys that are deeply in love and really horny for eachother and I hate that we keep bringing this shit up!!!

2. I’ve also seen people say that it was very important for us to see Wille moving to go down on Simon in the tape in S1 because it’s “more damning evidence that he’s queer” and otherwise Wille could’ve just said he was horny and desperate but he was actually imagining he was with a girl in his denial statement. But be so fucking forreal, in what world is that a thing he could argue in an official statement to the press? He’d be the laughing stock of the world.

Wilhelm isn’t more or less gay because he went down on Simon vs the other way around. He’d still be having queer sex because he’s having sex with another guy. Arguing that the framing here is for anything other than a plot device so Wille’s face wouldn’t be visible to set up the denial is actually kind of ridiculous.

As someone very smart on here said, “I’m sorry that you apparently have a tier list of sex acts ranging from “kinda straight” to “Gaylord” 😭😭 get well soon, couldn’t be me.”

Imagine for one second Simon was the one giving Wille head? Would you have criticized the show for that?? And WHY?!

3. Next: saying that Wilmon’s relationship is “equal” because you think they’re vers is…a take and a half lmao. What the fuck does being vers have to do with a relationship being equal?? Why are we assigning arbitrary hierarchies to sexual preferences??? Why are we implying that topping and bottoming are somehow not equal and you have to carefully balance both, when, ideally, it’s just whatever the fuck everyone is into???

Wille isn’t selfish for topping. Simon isn’t sacrificing anything by bottoming. They’re fucking because they’re in love and they want to 😭

TLDR: Wille doesn’t suck Simon’s dick for class liberation. Simon riding Wille isn’t a commentary on how he’s “girl-coded.” It’s just sex, leave them alone to have a good time and stop assigning agendas to queer sex.

#ask #this got long and crass and I’m NOT sorry #I stole this response from a convo I had with someone in the DMs so ty for your contributions to this post bestie you know who you are #but I could not bite my tongue for any longer #young royals

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bigboysteveharrington · 1 year

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Jonathan Byers thinks that he and Argyle are just best friends that do everything together and tell each other everything and sometimes fall asleep in each other’s beds and that what they have is just what having a best friend is like since he’s never had friends, let alone a best friend before

But then one night they’re lying outside high and watching the stars and talking about dumb shit and then Argyle oh so casually rolls toward him and kisses him and Jonathan kisses him back automatically but it still takes him a moment to totally realize what’s happening and that he’s participating in it and enjoying it so when Argyle rolls back to where he was and goes back to pointing out his made up constellations with a slice of pizza, Jonathan’s just lying there on his back processing but Argyle just keeps talking away

It isn’t until Jonathan hasn’t pointed out any stars or made any comments for a few minutes that Argyle turns his head to look at Jonathan who is still staring up at the sky and asks, “You alright, man? You went all quiet on me” And Jonathan tells him “I’m fine. Just thinking”

Argyle points at the sky and asks “About how much the stars over there look like a bong?” and Jonathan laughs

Argyle leaves it at that for a minute, then asks “Are you freaked out? Because it’s totally my bad if I read into things the wrong way” And Jonathan tells him “You didn’t”

Because now that Argyle did kiss him and Jonathan enjoyed it and had his mind opened up to the possibility of there being something more going on with their dynamic, Jonathan’s realizing things haven’t really been as strictly platonic as he’d been thinking they were and that they’ve basically been dating without the kissing for a while so that was kind of a long time coming and Jonathan’s just glad Argyle was capable of reading into things enough to do anything about it

And in retrospect maybe the fact that his main example of what best friends are like is the Will and Mike situation where Will’s clearly in love with Mike and Mike’s seemingly oblivious to it didn’t help Jonathan with the whole not realizing that his feelings and the stuff they’d been up to wasn’t strictly platonic

Argyle asks, “So then what are you thinking about, dude?” And Jonathan says, “I was thinking I should go tell Will.”

Because Jonathan’s first thoughts were wait, am I dating Argyle? (which he’s still not 100% sure about but he’s thinking he basically is without the label) and then immediately after that thought came I should tell Will

Because he didn’t realize that he was interested in any guys at all until a few minutes ago, but he wants Will to know he’s not alone in it. And because he wants Will to know that even though it’s a lot harder for Will to find someone than it is for guys who like girls, there are still guys out there that like guys too and it’s still possible to find a guy that’ll be interested in you and willing to take a risk to show you

Jonathan tells Argyle that he was thinking about telling Will because it was what he was thinking about and so Argyle knows he’s going to say something and can stop him if he wants to. But he also tells him because he knows that Argyle picked up on the same things about Will and his feelings toward Mike that Jonathan did back when Mike visited. It’s not something they discussed at all, but he knows Argyle knows from the ways he reacted

And Argyle tells him “Go for it, bro”

When Will finds out he’s shocked at the news that Jonathan’s apparently into guys and girls and he’s relieved not to be alone and the family freak and he’s glad that they decided to tell him but he’s also bitter that Jonathan has known that he’s queer for like five minutes and he’s already with a guy (and to add extra salt in the wound, that guy is Jonathan’s best friends) while Will’s known that he was gay for practically his whole life but he still has no experience with any guys and no chance at ever having anything happen with his best friend

#I’ll probably turn this into a one shot when I have more time for writing #Bc rn all my writing time is dedicated to working on my in progress fics that I haven’t had time for lately #It is late at night and I should be sleeping so I apologize for any typos and mistakes I didn’t reread to check for #Jargyle #Jonathan Byers #Argyle #Argyle Stranger Things #Will Byers #Stranger Things #ST #ST4 #Mine

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californiaboytoybilly · 7 months

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Eye Candy - pt one

Steve and Robin move to a big city on the coast after Robin graduates from her college classes with a degree in the arts.

It’s an impulsive decision, like many of theirs are. The kids are leaving for college, they’ve been fired from their jobs- Steve publicly chewed out a customer who made a gross comment about Robin’s chest- and neither of them particularly want to keep staying in their childhood homes still in their early twenties.

So they pick a city, cram their combined belongings into a car, and spend the better part of a few days slowly driving across country.

It takes a while because Steve insists on stopping at multiple cheesy landmarks on the way, much to Robin’s theatric dismay.

But they get there and they settle in and they… love it. They find an industrial style apartment that they can see the water from- over a handful of other brick buildings, anyway- and get new jobs at a musical diner. Turns out they can both sing, and Steve looks great in his tiny red shorts and rollerblades.

They spend their mornings arguing over what shape is superior to cook batter in (Robin is team waffle, Steve is team pancake) and giggling over the celebrity gossip section like teen girls. More often than not, they end up crashing in Robin’s bed at night even though they have separate bedrooms. It’s wonderful.

But one night, they are so incredibly bored.

They get all dressed up just to pass the time, doing little model walks out to the living room, striking poses, taking goofy pictures to cover the walls in. The outfits turn out honestly kind of great and it feels like a waste not to go anywhere. So they do.

The original plan was to go to this queer club they found in their first week here, the entrance to which was. hidden inside the dry storage room of an Italian restaurant. However, they take a detour through the rich neighborhoods to ogle the stupidly big houses they couldn’t afford even with twenty pooled years of diner salary, making fun of the absurdly shaped topiaries and obnoxiously shiny cars that made Steve’s look like a junk heap.

That’s when they get a reckless idea.

One of the houses a little separate from the others is a mansion with music thrumming from inside and flashing colourful lights, with a guard dressed in all black standing at the front door.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

They blurted at the same time, slowing the car to a stop.

Minutes later, Steve strolled down the long, perfectly even paving stones set into the emerald lawn with an updated, adult version of his signature King Steve ‘I belong everywhere I show up’ face.

He was dressed in a loose silk shirt and dark wash jeans, hazel eyes rimmed in kohl and hair artfully messed on top of his head. Robin had caved into his suggestions earlier, dressed in an eggshell bustier- that she kept awkwardly adjusting where it dug into her side- and black slacks with gold buttons up the legs.

They don’t look underdressed for the place, at least.

Steve gets stopped by the guard almost immediately and asked for his name, and Robin starts to sweat. She’s ready to apologize and say they must have accidentally come to the wrong place.

But Steve just scoffs, hand on his hip, with a righteously offended look on his face. “Excuse me?” He asks, tone dripping false condescension. “Are you seriously asking who I am?”

The guard looks nervous, immediately shuffling with his papers presumably carrying the guest list. A vein throbs in his temple and he flits his gaze between Robin and Steve in their dressy clothes and the door behind him.

What kind of people were at this party that the guard was that nervous about not recognizing someone?

The guard glances subtly at the list again and Robin can see there are only two names not checked off the list.

“No, sir. Of course I recognize you…” The guard trails awkwardly as he lies, “trick of the light, couldn’t see your face before. Come on in, my apologies.”

He checks off both names on the list, without asking again.

That worked?

Robin gave Steve a baffled side eye as they entered the house, to which he simply shrugged.

“My mother always said to pretend I belonged anywhere I went with conviction. She said people would wittle out a spare chair for me with a spoon rather than admit they don’t know why I’m there.”

Robin snorted. “Rich people.”

Steve just barely resisted the urge to elbow her in the ribs. “At least if I was still rich, we wouldn’t have wrestled over the last banana this morning.”

But then he paused, eyes taking in the other scattered guests.

“Hey uh… is it just me or is everyone here-“

“Insanely hot?” Robin finished his sentence, sticking close to his side as she looked around. “Steve where the hell are we?”

Steve didn’t have an answer for her, scanning the crowd of ridiculously attractive people in expensive outfits, mingling and dancing to the music playing from a speaker he couldn’t find in the massive, open concept first floor.

He didn’t get long to try and figure it out, however.

A low, faintly amused voice chimed in from a few feet away. “That’s the question, isn’t it?” The mystery person answered Robin’s query as Steve spun to face them, pulse spiking.

“I certainly would remember a face like that, especially since I made the guest list. So my return question is… how did you get into my house?”

#billy antis dni #steve harrington #billy hargrove #eventual #harringrove #model!billy #model!heather #robin buckley #also eventual #buckleway #heather x robin #billy x steve #🌌 — a s t e r #🌌 — w r i t i n g #Eye Candy ficlet

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nicosraf · 8 months

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My question has SPOILERS! So please look away if u don’t wanna see! Also, I’m sorry for so many questions ahhhhhhh

What is Phanuel’s feelings towards Michael? I know that Lucifer expressed feelings of jealousy over their closeness (or at least that’s how I interpreted it with Lucifer ripping Phanuels face off), but were they unfounded? The way I read Phanuel was more of a platonic friend (especially since he did tease Lucifer, that one time with Michael around— saying that Lucifer talked about Michael a LOT when he wasn’t around). But after the trauma they both went through, I do wonder if their friendship has gotten a lot more intimate since we last saw them.

Also, does Michael ever get jealous in Book 2 because of Lucifer and Baal’s “closeness”? I imagine that Baal and Lucifer get closer in Book 2 simply due to the fact that he was kind of like… the runner-up love interest (?) in Book 1, and the fact that they would be spending a lot of time together after The Fall. (But I’m sure Lucifer is playing with Baal more than he actually cares for him).

Anyway, I’m excited to read Book 2 once it releases! And to read more about Azazel and how gender will be explored more after the creation of Woman. I love your characterizations of the angels and am so, so, so excited about how you’ll write demons :)

(PS I reread Paradise Lost for the first time after high school after I finished ABM and it was a trip)

Hello! Please dw! I am so bad at going through my inbox sometimes but I try really hard and appreciate any asks :')

SPOILERS for ABM (and a tad of A&M) under the cut

Lucifer was less jealous about their closeness and more so blaming Phanuel for Michael not joining him during the rebellion — which is unreasonable. Lucifer basically sees them together and invents this whole scenario where Michael was going to run away to Lucifer but Phanuel stopped him.

'You did this. You’re why Michael denied me. It had to be you.’ He saw it so perfectly in his mind that it had to be true. Michael telling Phanuel that he regretted his decision, that he was going to apologize to Lucifer. Phanuel saying it was a bad idea. Michael, who would have left to find Lucifer and stood with him in the center, surrendering. This was all wrong because of Phanuel; it was his fault...

We know this didn't happen; Michael was sleeping and Phanuel was just there to comfort him. So Lucifer is being unfounded with his beliefs regardless.

But about Phanuel's relationship with Michael — I kinda hesitate to use the word platonic. Angels are very close and I think the lines between friendship and romance are incredibly blurred for them (typical gay friend group lmao). In a short (thought non-canonical) story I wrote a long time ago, I referenced that Phanuel once kissed Michael on the mouth during a celebration, which I still consider probably canon. I guess if I had to put a label to it, they would be more like queer-platonic friends. So, Phanuel and Michael don't have romantic feelings, but they are both respectively very queer and they would be comfortable doing things we might associate to be romantic (cuddling and even sharing a kiss or two).

If Part 2 never occurred, Lucifer could probably watch Phanuel and Michael cuddle and not think that much about it, except maybe pout because he wants to be in Michael's arms at the moment. (He might just squeeze in between them though; what's better than being squished between the angel you love and his nice friend?) Angels are just very queer platonic-y, really. Romance is less about actions for them and more about feeling.

And ohhhoho does Michael ever get jealous of Baal.... I'm hesitating to answer because the relationship between the 3 is hilarious to me and I don't want to give too much away. Also, "runner-up love interest" is making me laugh but it's very true I think.

I guess, if you asked Baal, he would say Michael is very jealous of him and that he loves being married to Lucifer.

If you asked Lucifer, he would say what marriage.

Michael would not reply.

Anyway!!! I'm really glad you're excited for the sequel :') I hope you enjoy it. It's very weird about gender and I'm a bit scared to see how people will react to it but ,, i hope it is good

#end game is michael x baal obviously #mine #ask #also phanuel may be aromantic but im not actually sure yet

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rabidbatboy · 2 months

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Hi there !! I'm currently researching a paper on xenogenders and queer online culture, and I wanted to reach out to a few people in the community to ask about their experiences. If you're up for it, I'd love to hear about your gender identity and journey. /pos /gen

sure! throwing a ramble until the cut. you are welcome to cite/quote/whatever this

I would say I definitely did not have a stereotypical trans childhood, though it might seem like I did? I wore a lot of my brothers clothes and I had short hair so I was often referred to as a boy anyway. but i never felt one way or another about that other than I found it funny. I dressed both masculine and feminine. I had a different childhood experience because I’m autistic, but I was pretty social. nothing really felt off or wrong, not until about mid puberty. I didn’t really have something I was missing it was more like it just clicked one day. I wasn’t NOT being my authentic self before, but I clearly hadn’t started to fully understand

I got more online friends as my internet access developed, and around fifteen did I start being more exposed to the idea of gender identity as a complex thing. I already had somewhat of an online persona, I went by ‘mango’ so I started trying out different names too. I took the pretty typical route from she/they to all pronouns to they/them to they/he and so on. I was probably 16 or 17 when I realised I was like. totally a dude eheh. it wasn’t a huge struggle but it took me a while to get there and I couldn’t wrap my head around a lot of things. it was definitely a stress on my mind at times and i got a lot of conflicting and confusing and pressuring information from the internet and other people

I was very queer, though, and very okay with that. I had toyed with the ideas of xenogenders a little, but unfortunately getting a lot of my experience influenced by kalvin garrah as a young trans guy, I was embarrassed by complex queer identities and I shied away from using things like neopronouns. I didn’t find a good community that allowed me to be honest with myself about how I felt and what made me feel happiest for a while.

I would add xenogenders to my collection and limit them, remove them. I still got nervous around neopronouns. I gave into the kind of fears and misinformation spread around and I didn’t want to be made fun of, or be a joke.

and then as with me finding out I was a boy, it just sort of clicked. There was no huge revelation I just. didn’t care anymore. the communities I had been in weren’t really toxic, but we were young and didn’t know a lot about the world. I honestly started feeling the best when I stopped caring. Even before I started this blog, with the support of friends and my system I began to be my full authentic self. I take joy in creating so flag making and term collecting was a great outlet for stresses about my identity. Instead of making it a chore, I looked at it as a fun thing. Identity can be serious, but it helps to let go and be able to make silly flags, use silly pronouns, just to remember that it’s not all about how your presenting yourself to others, but what you’re doing for yourself to make you happy

Cheesy :)

#— jacks cold sweat

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madsworld15 · 2 months

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Stop Trying to make Buddie a thing! It's not gonna happen! The show said so many times its not gonna happen, stop referring to people who dont ship buddie as mentally ill, its rude and not true, not everyone has to ship the way you ship, stop telling people 2 men just cant be friends, men can have male friends and not be gay. stop harassing the writers, creators and actors of 911 into giving you Buddie, its not going to happen. If you want Buddie write fan fiction, and stop accusing them of queerbaiting, not everything is queerbaiting, we get it you want representation, you have plenty of it on TV, including 911, not everyone has to Bi or Gay, I am sorry you feel like there is not enough of it on TV. YOu alll need to learn to get over it and either stop watching the show or just move on and realize BUDDIE IS NOT A THING! Also your apple podcast rating is 2.5 and I wonder why!

I normally don’t respond to these kinds of asks, but you know what I feel this needs to be addressed.

Your first point, I never called anyone mentally ill for not shipping Buddie. I’m not sure where you got that information. Everyone is more than welcome to ship what they ship.

Secondly, Tim Minear is not a reliable resource on what will or won’t eventually happen on the show. Before Buck’s bisexual awakening in 7x04 he adamantly stated that Buck and Eddie weren’t queer. He’s a politician. He knows how to say the right things to keep the most people happy without giving them too high an expectation. Aside from that “the show” used to be run by Fox who strongly limited what people could or couldn’t say.

Also, to that end for the longest time this show did feel like it was queerbaiting because of the intentionality behind every moment Buck and Eddie shared. Now I can gladly say I was wrong and it was just a long game set up for Buck’s coming out.

Third, there is not nearly enough representation in the world if I’m still getting angry asks like this all the time. Until people can be kind to one another and stop asking “why does it always have to be gay?” Then we will never have enough representation.

Finally, I don’t care what my rating is on Apple Podcast. I do my podcast to have an outlet with my friends to talk about a show we love.

Buck will forever be canonically bisexual. Stay mad.

#ask and answer #911 abc #bisexual buck #buck buckley #eddie diaz

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 2 months

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So ever since I found mlm and wlw stories (especially fanfics), my interest in het romance decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead or mc (female) and female lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories for romance....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

There is absolutely nothing weird about what you’re enjoying reading.

As for what is happening, I don’t think there is anything happening so I really wouldn’t worry. Learning what you like in media as in life is just part of growing up and learning how to person. Fortunately or unfortunately, that never stops and now matter how old you are, you can always learn something new about the world around or who you are as a person.

I can’t give you any answers, I’m only a stranger on the internet and only you’ll have all the information you need.

It could just be that it’s something new, a new genre you like and it might changechange like the wind. It could be that you enjoy the dynamics between the characters you’re reading about and they happen to by mlm or wlw. It could be a lack of content for the het relationships in the fandoms you’re in. It might be that you’re seeing yourself in the characters or that you’re starting to explore other identities, either for yourself or just for curiosity of wanting to know, and that’s okay too. It could be the separation from real life and fiction and enjoying something that is completely separate to the real world, or the world around you, while so much other stuff is going on in the news everyday. It could be something else entirely.

There’s no right or wrong answer to any of it. Whatever the reason, there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying reading any genre, be it queer romance, het romance, found family, or something as unrelated as sci-fi fantasy with convoluted plots and over complicated characters. Nothing you read says anything about you as a person and there’s no moral value attached to enjoying reading any genre. It just means that you enjoy reading it.

There is nothing wrong with you.

I read all sorts of books, fanfics, poetry, articles. I’m out here quoting the great gatsby or various fanfics one day, then a song of Achilles or Crier’s War the next, and Plato or The Iliad the day after that. None of it changes who I am, just what kind of information I carry around which in turn helps me interact with the world around. Hopefully I learn something along the way, but if not then at least I had fun.

I’ve been out as queer for a few years now and spent five ish years (give or take) in the closet before that. I’ve met a lot of people from all walks of life who feel all sorts of ways, who’ve enjoyed reading all sorts of things. Some who’ve known exactly who they are and others who are still figuring it out, some who thought they knew until they realised they’d got it wrong so went back to figuring it out. And that goes for all things, hobbies, interests, religion, politics, sexuality, gender. People change and grow and learn and that’s such a beautiful, brilliant thing in life.

No one has all the answers, we’re all just looking to figure it out as we go and enjoy the journey getting there.

And all of it is absolutely and completely okay, but more than that it’s human. Take your time, and in the meantime, enjoy reading whatever you like because if you’re enjoying it, then it’s worth it.

And feel free to send recs of any genre because I’m always looking for more to read :)

I hope this helps, anon.

-ThatNerd :)

#anon ask #asks #i don’t know how to tag this #not my usual stuff #it got a little more rambling than I expected but my point stands

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a-dragons-journal · 2 years

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A handful of things I just want to say and forgive me if it sounds like I’m vagueposting anyone in specific I’ve just seen these things said in a number of places by a number of different people today and I honestly cannot find a good singular post to respond to with all of them in one place:

1) If your response to people not liking “kinning for fun” is “stop policing how other people understand their identity,” you have fundamentally misunderstood the problem. The entire problem is that it’s NOT their identity, and they’re explicitly stating that. Policing how other people understand their identity would be telling them that if they have more than [x] number of kintypes they’re not serious about it, or if they “don’t take it seriously enough” they’re not ~really~ ‘kin, not “hey if you’re explicitly saying you don’t actually identify as the thing in any way, why are you using the word that means you identify as the thing in some way”. (And don’t get me wrong - the former definitely exists, but it’s not what the KFF argument is about. That’s a separate argument entirely (and it is shitty and gatekeepy to arbitrarily decide that someone who is telling you they actually do identify as something actually doesn’t do it seriously enough for you) and I am a little tired of people conflating the two, honestly.)

2) “people find out they’re otherkin through roleplay a lot, so “kinning for fun” in that sense is okay and valid” - the former statement is true, but it doesn’t actually support the latter imo. Roleplay is great, and people absolutely explore identity using it a lot - but that doesn’t mean it’s the same thing as identity. Someone playing a character of a different gender in D&D might be a step in them figuring out they’re trans, and it may even be a sign that they’re trans, but it doesn’t inherently make them trans and it would be kind of insulting (and just. objectively incorrect) to call it “transing”, y’feel?

3) One of the biggest differences between, like, queer exclusionism and syscourse versus this whole thing (since I keep seeing this comparison occasionally), even ignoring the whole “nowhere is anyone telling KFF they’re wrong about their own experiences, just that the actual word they’re using is Not It” aspect, is that exclusionism is driving people out of spaces and communities they’ve historically been a part of. As far as I am aware, and please correct me if I am wrong here, otherkinity has always and exclusively been about being your kintype - people who just relate to a thing have, as far as I have ever seen in all my reading, never been a part of it. It’s not people suddenly being shoved out of a community they’ve historically been a part of, it’s outsiders trying to shoehorn themselves into words that were never meant to describe their experiences and getting mad when they’re told “hey, that’s not what that actually means.” (At risk of a controversial comparison here, it’s not m-spec lesbians suddenly being pushed out of the word “lesbian” because they don’t fit an increasingly narrowing label even though they were historically a part of it, it’s white people trying to insist that they’re “smudging” and that the spirits they’re interacting with are their “totem animals” even when they’re being repeatedly told by Native people that no, you have misunderstood what those words mean, stop misusing them that way, please use these other words that actually mean what you are describing instead. Obviously with a little less weight courtesy of the history tied in with cultural appropriation, but like - you get my point.)

There has to be a point at which a community is allowed to go “hey, you’re not allowed to try and force the word we created to describe a specific phenomenon to include a hundred other things that have very little in common with that specific phenomenon, or it becomes impossible for us to actually talk about our own experiences clearly because suddenly words mean borderline nothing.” I am all about inclusion, but words have to mean something or why do we have them at all? There are at this point literally dozens of other words for the things “kinning for fun” is supposed to mean - there are not other words for actually being nonhuman, which is the entire reason we created these words to begin with. If you want an umbrella term to cover all these things, that’s what “alterhuman” is for - we seriously do not need to be trying to force “otherkin” to be the umbrella term “alterhuman” was always supposed to be.

#kin for fun #rani talks

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wetcatspellcaster · 2 months

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Hello again, Ms. gender nerd anon here, re-sending my ask! Thanks for confirming it got lost!

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your stance on misogyny in BG3 fandom (those “shipping Astarion with women is conversion therapy” takes are wild).

Gender dynamics in your fics are also a breath of fresh air because of how full of default heterosexual sado-masochism* and female submission in general f/m Astarion fics are (nothing wrong with being submissive, but the tendency itself is not above criticism imo). I absolutely love Rosalie’s wit, intelligence, agency, initiative, insecurities and vulnerability, she’s such a deep and well-rounded character. She’s a badass but not in a stereotypical “strong woman” type way which just acts “masculine”, e.g. fights, is assertive and sure of herself, etc. I think you’re doing a great job at portraying more egalitarian f/m relationship and sexuality.

I also remember you saying something like (I’m paraphrasing here) the problem you see with “I can fix him” trope is heterosexism that often accompanies it.

Considering all this I wonder if gender dynamics and using a feminist lens is something you consciously think about when writing Rosalie/Astarion and if yes, how do you approach that?

Thank you!

* https://preview.redd.it/6ak4wpp4zimc1.jpeg?width=577&auto=webp&s=933cf03cb5cc08346d3dff9bfc4a3266a0b68651&app_web_view=ios

PS I also read Howl’s Moving Castle recently and really felt something of Howl and Sophie in your fics, it’s lovely!

PPS English in not my first language so sorry for any awkward phrases/mistakes

hi anon, thank you for coming back with the long-awaited question (also there is no need to stress about the English used here, it's all very high level lmao so please don't apologise!)

I'm not interested in commenting/speaking ill on other fics or trends within Astarion fic so I'm only going to discuss this question in relation to my own writing. [Beyond once more reiterating that the popularity of m/m ships in fandom has its roots in racism and misogyny (a preference for white male characters above any female characters, especially those of colour when they are the canon interest), and the belief that 'gay' ships are inherently more virtuous has its roots in um. radfem ideology. and again, misogyny. Fair enough if you like what you like but please examine your biases and plz stop hating women and dressing it up as queer positivity.]

This ended up being very, very long, so it's under the cut lads! I did promise I could talk about gender in fiction all day long.

So first off, anon - people like what they like. There's nothing wrong with that - most of what I write, it's not done with any virtue signalling in mind, it's just that I'm writing what I like, as well. That is, I'm going to be honest, in large part my answer to your question.

In all honesty, I do not write my bg3 with an inherently feminist lens or mindset held in my brain at the time of drafting, beyond the fact that I'm a feminist in my own day-to-day life. If I was to attribute it to anything... I would actually be really basic, and just be frank: I really like women. I find women hot. I like a lot of female characters, more than I like male ones.

I'm really touched you think Rosalie is a well-rounded character, as she is intended to be written that way, but honestly? I just find her hot. I give her good lines and fun moments equal to Astarion's, bc she's v sexy to me. I like giving her hot things to do, and at a very basic level, it's for me, lmao. I made her well-rounded, bc I like her and I find her entire character aspirational and attractive. Fic is, often, just for pleasure. In the same way other people write what they find hot, I write what I find hot, and if you were to examine my fics and my bookmark history (Sophie/Howl is up there honestly, but Jareth/Sarah from Labyrinth is the biggest giveaway lmao) you would know that I just find this kind of dynamic.... where there's a villain and a heroine who breaks him.... or a woman who reads a man for filth... hot.

But if you want an answer that goes deeper and more theoretical, there are two things that I can give you!

I find it both reassuring and funny that you bring up both heterosexism and not making Rose 'masculine', bc Rosalie is consciously one of my most femme OCs. The pink/purple colour scheme is a dead giveaway. I think this was because, in Early Access, all of the femme companions are gnc in some way, which was fucking awesome, but that meant there was a gap in the market for my funky pink tiefling!

Most of the characters were also quite edgy - I've talked about the Early Access disapproval, and the way it felt like you were being bullied by the pixels inside your gaming PC, and how this informed my choice of OC. At the time, I was also playing in a D&D game full of edgelords, and was getting quite bored (mid-pandemic) with this entire belief that playing 'good', or being idealistic, is naive/dumb, or boring, or trite, or overdone. A lot of my writing is triggered by a spite reflex, so in Rose, I doubled down. I put a lot of tropes about femininity that get a lot of hate in fandom into Rosalie, bc these often overlap with the idea that being emotional or naïve is undesirable bc (you guessed it!) misogyny. It's better to be jaded and cynical, bc that's a traditionally masculine view of the world. This idea that being 'good' is stupid is fed by many things, but it is gendered, and making Rosalie a high femme woman was a conscious decision.

BUT in her character, I also had this secondary question - in a group where everyone is berating you for being kind, if you're a rabid people pleaser and traditionally feminine caregiver, why are you refusing to back down? How are we getting to the 'lawful' part of lawful good - which I interpret as having an inflexible moral code? And this was where I bought in the idea that someone is trying to make up for lost time, and created the device of her agoraphobia, and the tadpole as anxiety medication.

I think this is perhaps what makes her feel well-rounded, but also takes her from 'passively' feminine to 'actively' feminine - she's had all the traditional femme upbringing BUT she then has a tadpole hijacking all her AFAB socialisation, everything that's told her to not to take up space or back down or defer to other people.

I'm not going to lie, this is something I am struggling with at the moment: an awareness of being raised and socialised as a woman, and as an autistic woman who's masking practices are inherently tied up into the codes of femininity and the behaviour expected of her. I didn't realise this at the time of writing. But I guess Rosalie gets access to a confidence she didn't before, through a magic cure, and this is something that alters the dynamics of her character in a way that allows her to have a more active role. She doesn't feel the need to mask much anymore (see! this is why I find her HOT!!!)

The other gendered lens I will admit to bringing to the table with Rosalie, and consciously employing, is the traditional gendered dichotomy between emotion (femininity)/intellect (masculinity) that was held in the 1800s-1900s. This is because this theory used to fascinate me, I've read/studied a lot about the idea of gendered modes of reading books and understanding the world - for instance, there was a moral panic that's reflected in books like Northanger Abbey and Madame Bovary where it was feared women couldn't read literature properly, and that the lines between fiction and reality became blurred for them, because literature incites emotions and women are inherently more emotional beings. It was believed that they couldn't differentiate between the emotions fiction made them feel, and their real life. This persists till today, in a derogatory approach to female fandom, to immersed readers, and the media products that girls like (e.g. the Twilight books, and associated derision of its readership). In this dichotomy and belief system, women are overly emotional and thus stupid/idealistic, and the admirable way to be is critical, detached, intellectual - ie. everything the man making these rules thinks he is.

This DOES come into play with Rosalie, in a big way, but that's kind of BG3's fault. The whole idea of a mindflayer, is someone who is intellect without any emotion, and this makes them threatening, and powerful. I coupled that with a woman who sees her depression (and thus her emotion) as a weakness, and who is using illithid tadpoles as medication. I've talked a few time in asks, about how the bad ending for Rosalie would be her turning into the mindflayer for the good of the group, becoming that ideal of intellectual detachment that she thinks will be all everyone wants from her. It would be: The Bleeding Heart, versus The Exalted Mind. I sat on that decision screen, CRYING, for a really long time, bc I knew she would turn illithid in a heartbeat, for all the wrong reasons. To me, it felt like a new version of suicidal ideation had been given to my mess of a character. (Thank god for Astarion in this instance, honestly).

As a wizard, Rosalie is operating in that intellectual paradigm that critical thinking = good. Being cold and analytic = good. She is not that, until she has the tadpole: she never aspired to power, she feels in thrall to her own emotional state, she feels like her emotions make her weak and have actively disadvantaged her progress. So she is facing this battle between what she thinks she should be - intellectually confident, certain, calculated and cool - and what she thinks she is - emotionally messy, easily manipulated, sad and weak - without realising it's a fake mutually exclusive binary, and she can in fact be both. This is a journey I hope to take her on in An Honest Lie, and she's already undergone in Pieces (although, there's a bit more emotional repression in this timeline, if she was actually well-adjusted i think she would've fucked the Ascendent at least once lol).

What I did bring to the table was a extreme frustration at traditionally feminine-coded traits (moral idealism, goodness, empathy, over-emotional modes of being in the world) being constantly derided or treated as stupid. I also wanted to write a wizard who wasn't a pinnacle of intellect, but was struggling with that fact, and I made her high femme for a reason!

So... yeah! TLDR, I write women with personalities bc I like and am attracted to women - the same way a lot of male characters get attention or become the most fully fleshed, complex beings in existence, bc their writers like and are attracted to them. I do not write consciously feminist attacks on other people's dynamics, what I write is the dynamics I find incredibly sexy instead.

So I guess... my advice on how to approach things???

write what you find hot

give attention to the characters you find hot

if there are any dynamics you find interesting in theory, you can explore them!

I did make a conscious choice to subvert some tropes in Pieces, but this was mostly to avoid writing noncon bc it's not my thing, I didn't have any interesting in doing that to my OC, and also, i don't think I could write it well. So I guess the other thing you can do is, if there's a trope that frustrates you or you don't like the gendered politics of something, think of a new interesting way to write it or flip that dynamic (....like a Power Word Kill!)

#asks #anons #long posts #an especially long post. considering my answer is 'women hot'.

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quietwingsinthesky · 9 months

Note

8 and 16 for the choose violence ask

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about.

That Dean would return Cas’s love confession

Okay no actually you know what. I’m gonna talk about that. Maybe it’s just me being deep in Aro!Dean land, but I’m not seeing it. I’m not seeing at any point in the show where Dean loved Castiel. And I’ve been looking, I swear, but I’m. There’s no destiel on my screen. There is a lot more sastiel than I remember but there’s no destiel happening on my screen! There IS a lot of Castiel clearly having Problems and Issues and Angst about dean, and. Zero doubt here there that that angel wants to fuck him. But I honestly can’t imagine any happy ending for dean that revolves solely or even mostly around a romantic attachment. That man is hardwired for family being the most important thing to him, and I love that. Aro!Dean wins again.

Other notable things include: headcanoning Sam as not queer/trans because he’s too boring. Talked about that. Weird fucking opinion to have. That Gabriel is not exactly as fucked up as the other archangels, especially when presenting sabriel as the Good Sam Ship as opposed to samifer. My dudes, did we not watch mystery spot, do the reading. Also. Also. Not acknowledging the really clear character degradation of Lucifer in the later seasons/attributing later seasons stuff to how he acts in s5, just a personal gripe because whatever, people can read him however they want, but I really feel like on a meta level you gotta talk about how these are Two Different Characters who just happen to have been jammed into the same character. Okay. I think that’s it.

16. You can’t understand why people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc.)

I do not like coffee shops AUs. Actually, it’s more that im Extremely picky about AUs that aren’t canon divergence, and will drop them immediately the minute I feel like I’m no longer reading about the characters I like and am instead reading about Generic Guys who say funny quips and then kiss. Which is not a coffee shop au specific problem but the frequency with which that kind of au attracts that writing means I have kind of been turned off from ever reading them again.

if you are writing Sam into your coffee shop au and at some point he does not drop some insane backstory about the time he was kidnapped and forced to fight to the death with a bunch of other college kids, you have failed at writing this au and I am banishing you to the shadow realm /j

The other thing that I do not understand at all, and this extends into a problem with canon, I’m well aware, is how happily people will accept the idea that Castiel is rebellious/different from other angels because he was just Made Wrong. he’s too Broken to be like a real angel. that all the other angels are mindless drones and Castiel is the one good one who could learn about free will, usually justified with it being that “his love for dean is what makes him special”, but even outside of destiel circles, this kind of thing gets very annoying lmao.

And it’s just. That’s wrong. The show might have decided post-s8 that it believed this about Castiel but it’s False and Bad. I’m gesturing wildly at Uriel and Anna and Gabriel and Lucifer and Balthazar and Michael and shit what’s that one angel doing pinball I love them, them too, and Castiel is not special!!! He should not be special!!! All angels have the capacity for free will, they are living under a terrifying system of suppression that has stripped them of their ability to use it and has taught them that when an angel does something they disagree with, killing them is a mercy! (See: the implications of that one angel healer in s9 + Uriel and Cas being sent to kill Anna for falling in s4)

CASTIEL IS NOT SPECIAL. STOP SAYING HE IS SPECIAL. THE CRACK IN THE CHASSIS LINE IS BAD TO HOLD UP AS EVIDENCE OF HIM BEING UNIQUELY FLAWED.

ahem. sorry. i like the supernatural angels. i think making castiel into some separate special being who is the only one capable of rebelling and feeling love and etc does a massive disservice to the heaven storylines and angels as a whole. i think the show’s choice to never have another major angel character who wasn’t killed off quickly/made “too evil” to redeem was a bad decision and contributes to this view of cas as Different and The Good One.

#ask

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gregorio-makes-art · 10 months

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My thoughts on ninjago ships!

Just finished dragons rising and wanted to give my thoughts on the ships cuz that’s what holds my attention the most lol. I have both canon ships and fanon ships that i see a lot.

Nya/Jay

I literally love them with all my heart! They work so well together! All of their little interactions just make my heart happy. Their dancing in prime empire, their fist date in season 1, Jay’s proposal, and every other little thing. They are the the best ninjago ship in my opinion, but they are not perfect. I fucking hate the love triangle in season 3! It is so stupid. It comes out of nowhere! I, in general, hate love triangles but this is the worst. Not only was it entirely unnecessary, but it makes all three characters look bad. It makes Nya look indecisive, jay look hella whiny, and Cole look like a jack ass who only wants Nya so that Jay can’t have her. Back to the positives tho. I think the shows writing is at its best when their ship is a focal point. For a long time, sky bound was my favorite season( I know I know). It often gets a lot of flack for the ending, but that is one of my favorite parts. The idea that after all is said and done, only the two of them get to remember this massive Journey makes it all the more special. It’s about them, for them, and only they get to remember it. Seabound quickly took the top spot as soon as I started it(I honestly don’t know if this is a hot take or not, but Nya’s character arc was just so good!). The finale made me sob so uncontrollably, it was a little scary. Jay not getting a real goodbye was so heartbreaking. Seeing how content Jay was after they saved her despite the fact that he was actively being sent to prison is the kind of love I want!

Zane/Pixal

What can I say other than the fact that they are perfect. I mean they literally share a heart for Christ’s sake! If anything, they are to perfect and can be a bit boring, but that is barely a complaint. I will say that I didn’t like how long Pixal was trapped in Zane’s head, but other than that I love them. That scene in Compatible was so unnecessary but so fucking good!

Kai/Skylor

I really like them together. They don’t have enough screen time together which makes it heard for their relationship to develop. Honestly, Skylor in general is underdeveloped. She should have just joined the main cast after season 4. They have good chemistry, have cute little interactions, and are adorable to watch. I just wish she was around more. I was hoping that something more would happen with them by the end of crystallized but nothing really happened. I hope she comes back for dragons rising and has a good storyline, and hopefully some resolution with Kai.

Lloyd/Harumi

No. Fucking no. I hate Harumi. This ship is so dumb in the context of the show. Let me stop now before this turns into a whole rant ( a Harumi rant is for another day).

Lloyd/Akita

I’m actually very fond of these two. I will admit that they don’t get to spend enough time together, but it is still really cute! I hope they find each other again in dragons rising.

Cole/Vania

While I think Cole is definitely queer coded, still find these two cute. Maybe Cole is bi? I also like the idea that Vania is non-binary. Very cute together and I hope that they are endgame

Misako/Garmadon

What can I say? I’m a sucker for these two. They are cute old people who admittedly have a LOT of issues to work through.

Misako/Wu

No. Just no. I honestly hate wu and the idea of him and Misako being a thing is weird. It is wrong on both parts. Just all around stop.

Non/Questionably Canon

Any combo of Kai/Jay/Zane/Cole/Lloyd

While there is nothing inherently wrong with shipping these characters, it just gives me the ick. The fact that they all call each other brothers makes it weird. And it’s different with Nya cuz it’s not like Jay calls her his sister. And shipping any of them with Lloyd is icky for the obvious age reasons, I mean they literally knew him as a 10 year old. But while I don’t like any of these ships, Cole/Kai is the least upsetting.

Pythor/Aspheera

They are funny I guess, but pythor is def gay.

Pythor/Skales

Skales is an honest man and a loving husband who would never cheat on Selma thank you very much!

Wu/Faith

I can 100% see it. There is obviously an age difference. But maybe if faith comes back as an older women after some weird time thing related to the merge or something, then it could definitely work.

Dareth/Gayle Gossip

They are cute I guess, but they are beyond an afterthought

Ronin/Nya

Gross. Just stop

Dareth/Ronin

I can’t explain it, but I love them so much! It’s just hilarious and makes me laugh. It’s cute too.

Kruncha/Nuckal

They have been a married couple for 1000 years. They know each other so we’ll and complete each other. Perfect. 100%

That’s all I have. If you have any other ships that I didn’t mention or a ship you would like me to expand on them let me no.

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hael987 · 2 years

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I’m so very tired of people saying nonsense about KinnPorsche the series and trying to bring it down.

I cannot stress enough how much the show means to me. Firstly because I’m enjoying it but more importantly because of what it’s showing, what it’s bringing into the world.

As Mile and Apo have continually been saying the series is showing love is love, we’re no different than the cishets. It’s telling queer people that they’re deserving of such detailed stories too. We also deserve stories that delve deeper than the superficial.

Let us have our complex characters. The morally grey or even morally black. The unclear, contrasting motives. Let us see healthy and unhealthy relationships. Fluff and action and torture. Let us have it all for once.

When we’re finally getting the variety we deserve, stop trying to restrict us back into boxes. It’s light, but it’s not superficial. It’s dark but it’s not gritty, there’s always some beauty to be found whether it be in the storyline itself or the shots.

Fair enough if it’s not to your personal taste/you personally don’t like it but to say such media shouldn’t be out there is wrong.

We get a story full of various kinds of love. Discovery and growth that’s flawed and rocky, an uneven and complicated path. A show that finally explores multitudes. A show through which I can finally feel connections to my own queer experiences but it’s subtle enough it’s not overwhelming and the story is varied enough with action, mafia plots and fluff that it’s enjoyable for the wider audience too.

We’re given NC scenes that feel beautiful, emotional, real and not fetishised. The joy and elation we get to see from them existing together. We’re given NC scenes that are dubious and darker. It doesn’t focus on just one aspect, we get it all. Layered and detailed for once.

They struggle to be together but it’s not because they’re queer, it’s because their lives are complicated and messy. It’s the casual normalising of it, shifting the focus to the people rather than focusing it on the sexuality.

Their words of support interspersed throughout the entire show. Telling us we’re supposed to be here. We’re seen. The effort Mile underwent to get this story out there, the improvements all the actors and BOC made to make the story better, less homophobic. How they changed part of Porsche’s storyline from internalised homophobia and that consequential struggle into something far more beautiful and relevant: an exploration of his quintessential self and his roles in life, his journey of self worth and happiness. How valid that makes one feel to watch such a series.

Chay setting out on his youthful love. Porsche only having his first dating experience in his adulthood. Tankhun feeling unsafe when he leaves his sphere, his use of fashion as a shield. Kinn’s struggle of duty vs heart. Pete and Vegas beginning to remove their masks. These stories, it’s all reminiscent of the very real queer experience. The differing journeys. The sex scenes, the fluff, the darker side. These multitudes symbolise the variety and varying paths of what the queer experience can entail.

The nod, the acknowledgement that there are so many differing queer experiences and stories to be told without reducing the focus to be solely on the sexuality. That queer people are people — as flawed, as varied, as complex as everyone else. Queer people don’t just have to exist one way or fit your ideals. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to see, it’s the reality of existence.

Every single one of these points is why the show is important, necessary even.

I’m not claiming it’s the first show to do so, but I would say it’s the first show to express it so fully — it’s in every single inch of it. Stop trying to bring it down.

If you don’t like it that’s fine, it’s not for you. It’s for me. It’s for me and everyone like me that finally feels represented and loved and shown that we’re allowed to be complex. That we exist on equal ground and deserve to have equally complex media. That like our queer selves, the queer media we have shouldn’t be restricted to certain boxes.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche thoughts #kp discourse #I’m sure people have said it better before but #I’ve seen some real nonsense today and can’t stand it

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robinswrld · 2 years

Text

Waiting for Him, W. Byers.

# summary: he’s tired of being will byers, but you’ll always be there when he is. # pairing: will byers x male!reader # warnings: angst angst angst, homophobia (use of the word queer in a terrible way), lonnie byers && an extreme self-deprecating mindset # word count: 1.3k

💭cara’s thoughts: i’m really fucking sad, #willbyersdeservesbetter2022. anyways, this is kind of a reflection on my own thoughts so that’s kinda sad, but yeah. the title graphic is really misleading bc this is actually so sad. anywho, happy reading :)

he was sobbing.

again.

quietly, as usual, in his bedroom — praying to whatever the hell was out there that his brother wouldn’t hear.

jonathan wouldn’t notice, of course he wouldn’t, he never did. always high off his goddamn mind and giggling about the stupidest shit he had ever heard, hoping for once, his mind would be somewhere other than nancy wheeler.

not that he could blame him.

because he was doing the same thing.

his fingers shook as tired cries ripped through his body. why couldn’t he just stop?

will byers wasn’t sure how much of this secrecy he could take. the sinking feeling in the pits of his stomach every time he was in public and couldn’t so much as look in your direction the wrong way without being called a raging queer.

he couldn’t spill his guts into letters the way el did, mike wouldn’t care about his problems. he couldn’t speak a word of it to his mother without the accompanying nagging feeling, what if she turned into-?

he didn’t even want to finish his ridiculous thought. yes it was ridiculous, but a thought nonetheless.

truly, he shouldn’t have even put himself into a situation like this.

it seemed to be one of his flaws. in the wrong place at the wrong time.

if he had just taken another hallway his first day of school, he would have never caught your eye and dragged you into the mess that was his life.

god, the things he would do to go back in time.

maybe if he would’ve just stayed at the wheeler’s house that cold november day in 1983, his life, he, wouldn’t be the piece of shit it was today.

it had been three goddamn years.

three nightmare filled, blood ridden years that would stick with him until the day he died — which could be anytime, if he really thought about it.

no, he was safe now.

california would be good for him. for el, maybe even for jonathan.

he supposed it had been fair so far. he couldn’t say it was the worse time in his life. if he did, he would by lying.

and as el keeps reminding him, friends don’t lie.

every time those three words slipped out of her mouth, the pit of anxiety in his chest grew deeper. they chipped away at what was left of his cracked and raw skin. his bleeding heart was held loosely from his sleeve, becoming an open wound that bled a little harder every second of the day.

will wasn’t sure how much blood he had left to give.

but then again, he had so much to live for.

he had his mom, his heart and soul. she was there through everything and never once gave up on him.

he had jonathan. as much as he hated his sudden distancing, his brother wouldn’t give up on him either. no matter how loud and often he begged and pleaded for him to just leave him to rot in his stupid belittling thoughts.

he had el. while her lies became a tiring cycle, she would fight through thick and thin to make sure that he was okay.

and he had you. switching between being guilty and thankful about your abrupt entrance into his life, he knew for a fact he wouldn’t give you up for anything in the world.

you would squeeze every last drop of blood out of your body, if it meant he wouldn’t have to give more of his. you would slice one of the knives in his kitchen so deeply into your palm, with zero care, if it meant his life could go back to the way it was.

easy.

he wasn’t sure whether or not he was happy about it. you would lay your life down on the line if it meant that will could finally sleep peacefully, no matter what the consequences were.

he was almost angry that you were so wiling to give up yourself, so that he could continue to live his stupid, fucked up life.

what had he done to deserve it anyways?

as he curled in on himself, screaming multiple profanities in his head, a rhythmic knock sounded at his bedroom door.

furiously, he wiped at his cheeks; the soft tan littered in freckles, morphing into a deep red. his brown eyes, that once held sparkling glee, as bloodshot as if he submerged his face into a bucket of bleach.

he couldn’t open that door. not now.

“byers?”

the second your voice hit his ears, his receding tears made their way back into his waterline. he could hear the short conversation you had with his brother, the simple asking of “is will okay?”

god, he was sick of listening to that question.

a few minutes later, just when he thought you finally gave up and left, the knock came again, “will?”

this time, however, the knob twisted gently and your concerned face entered his line of vision. he turned quickly, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he possibly could.

the bed dipped beside him, “i missed you today.”

right. earlier that morning, he slouched out of his room into jonathan’s with an embarrassingly unconvincing cough, claiming he was sick. running from his problems, again.

“how are you feeling, my love?”

my love, his stomach churned painfully. he didn’t deserve this kind of treatment, you were too good for him.

will couldn’t even muster a hum. he was pathetic.

maybe his father was right. he was just a pitiful queer, useless to this world and the next. his friends didn’t care, they used him, just like he said they would.

his sobs became louder. he didn’t mean them to erupt like this. not when you were in the room.

you should’ve made him happy, not sad. not angry.

deciding against using words, you simply lay beside him carefully, swinging your arm over his waist.

it took every bone in his body not to curl into your touch. instead, he switched to his instincts, pushing you by your elbow off of him.

he didn’t deserve comfort.

his knees rose to his chest as he clutched them like a child. a baby. like his life depended on not letting them go. with his cries muffled by his jeans, he hoped and prayed you would understand to leave him alone. to just go ahead and pack up your things and walk out the door like everyone else did.

you didn’t.

why’d you have to be so good.

he fought harshly against the urge to turn around and beg you to hug him. kiss him. touch him. do something. but it seemed his heart didn’t want to listen.

because the second he flipped back around, you were there waiting for him.

will froze.

his wide pupils stared up at you. his eyes burned with unshed tears until he willed himself to blink and they came slipping down his face.

“i’m sorry.” his throat finally cleared, finally opened, and those were the words he chose.

pathetic.

you leaned down, pulling him gently into an embrace.

he shook uncontrollably, slipping away from the corrupt judgement of his mind and into you.

you were always there. always.

you told him he was perfect, that he deserved every ounce of love this cruel place could offer. you gave that to him. you said there was nothing wrong with who he was, it was the world that was wrong.

“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry.”

will byers was a liar. he lied to everyone. his mom, his brother, his sister, his friends.

they didn’t know about what he was.

surely, they would hate him for what he did.

but not you.

he wasn’t even sure you were capable of hating him.

because you had assured him, so many times, that you loved him more than you loved yourself. more than you loved anything.

that was, against all odds, what kept will byers alive.

you’d always be waiting for him.

#will byers x reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things #will byers #will byers angst #will byers x male!reader

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misfitsandmoons · 10 months

Text

ruin dlc spoilers and me rambling about the queer implications of everything

ok so i know a lot of people are freaking out about the “you and me forever and ever” in glamrock bonnie’s room, let me tell you WHY it’s so much more impactful than “oh glamrock bonnie and freddy were gay” (they are but they are so much gayer than that)

first of all, freddy and bonnie were the originals. they are the only TRUE originals, they’re henry’s and williams first creations. they started everything, and they’re going to stay forever. (and ever.)

second, i don’t care what you think about people shipping henry and william, i couldn’t care less. but, it is important to know that they were best friends at one point, they had a whole fucking business together. they probably thought that they would stay together forever, until everything happened to make william start killing. so freddy and bonnie ARE representing william and henry here.

third, (this is more like theorizing, but if i’m right in my theory then it’s cool) to the people who think cassie is a charlie bot and her dad is henry, the line about how bonnie is her dads favorite is such a hard hitting line. because if her dad is henry, it showed he never stopped CARING. he hated william, we know by his speech, but he didn’t stop CARING for him, especially his creations. (again, maybe i’m wrong with this one, it’s kind of a weaker point, but why not mention it?)

fourth, with the mimic being confirmed, it means william is dead. meaning he probably died in the pizzeria sim fire. this means that even though he’s dead (and maybe henry is too, idk) his legacy lives on, in both ways. bonnie, the good side of him, the side that he wanted people to see, and the mimic side, the one that kills kids and is horrible. but glamrock bonnie, the good version, is dead. the one that will always live is williams disturbing side, forever and ever.

also, i’m gonna say it, henry and william were queer. they made animatronics with multiple pronouns IN THE 80S!!! they looked at all the shit going on back then and said “the gender of these foxes are yes.” and that is beautiful and that is queer. they may not be gay for each other, but the fact that they are queer means so much to me.

the “always together, forever and ever, Love, Freddy.” wasn’t just about the glamrocks being in a gay relationship for steel wool to please the fans or whatever, it was to show us that the legacy of these two queer men who decided to open a restaurant in the 70s lives on. it’s to show that no matter what, they will prevail. they always have and always will.

or it’s just a throwaway line. whatever. i need to go to sleep.

#they are queer #anyways ruin is consuming me #be prepared for 1000 ruin posts #fnaf #fnaf ruin dlc #fnaf ruin #five nights at freddys #fnaf security breach #there are so many other things i didn’t say but oh well

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catgirl-kaiju · 2 months

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Hi, I really appreciate you giving me a genuine answer to my question. Your explanation makes a lot of sense to me. My position on it mostly comes from seeing tme/tma frequently used as a one to one replacement for agab. Since I haven’t often seen it used only in the context of tranmisogny, it feels like another false binary to me. I consider myself a very private person (hence the anonymous ask), so I choose not to disclose my agab or tm(e/a) status to individuals I’m not close to, but in a lot of online spaces people automatically assume that means I must be afab/tme, which rubs me the wrong way since I feel like disclosing that should always be a personal choice.

I wouldn’t say the model enforces arbitrary sex binaries on its own, but I’ve definitely seen it used in ways that do enforce it. Ultimately, I think any kind of labeling system can end up being used in a way that’s overly reductive. And when labels are being used in that reductive manner, then it often is something where people will assumptions about genitalia; that’s what I meant when I mentioned that in my ask yesterday. I have a body with “atypical” secondary sex characteristics, and grew up in and still live in a small conservative town. I’ve had people ask demanding questions about my genitalia since the age most “boys” hit puberty (I didn’t until 17 but the questions started sooner), which I believe is part of why I’m a bit sensitive to stuff that seems it’s demanding the same question of me.

I have only one testicle, what my grandmother calls “inappropriately wide hips for a man,” gynecomastia, an inability to grow facial or chest hair, and a not quite micropenis by the clinical definition (.25 inches longer than the measurement). There’s argument medically over whether my condition “counts” as intersex since it’s not apparent from birth, but rather shows up during puberty. I have a fairly complicated relationship with my biological sex and my gender as do many people. I have a hard time knowing where I sit in regards to transmisogyny, I know most people in my area consider me a somewhat “failed” man, but I have had a couple people (out of towners) ask if I was a trans man before on rare occasion (three times ever I believe). Like I mentioned, I’m fem leaning nonbinary, but have to present as a “typical male” for safety until I’m able to move which will hopefully be within the year. I think a lot of the online trans spaces Ive tried to engage in in the past have been very toxic, which hasn’t helped me in any way. When I move, I hope to find an in person queer space to explore some of this more.

Sorry for dumping this on you over seeing an addition you made to a post. And again, thank you for taking the time to give me a genuine response instead of just dismissing me outright. Your answer gave me a lot to think about, and while I still don’t like applying any label models to myself, I do see the utility to it better than before. This ended up much longer than I intended, so I think I’ll stop here. Have a nice day/night, and thank you

-Dee

thank you for the response and understanding, Dee.

i would like to clarify that i think using tma/tme in contexts that have nothing to do with discussions around transmisogyny is inappropriate and goes against the purpose of the terms. sorry you've interacted with people that, they sound like assholes.

i also feel you about everything you've been saying regarding your intersex experience. i was able to pass more as a man as i got older, but it took much longer than usual for me to be able to grown visible facial and body hair, and even when i wasn't fat, i'd get comments from people abt my "moobs" that made me feel uncomfortable with my body and not want to have my shirt off around anyone. my micropenis makes it difficult to urinate sometimes. i was often "mistaken" for a girl growing up, after i decided to grow out my hair because of my lack of facial hair, low body hair, high voice, and thin wrists.

i know that under the clynical definition of a micropenis, i definitely have one, based on my own measurements and those of a physician. and that in and of myself makes me intersex, but i definitely feel that same anxiety that you're expressing about not being counted as intersex in some people's eyes. i'm currently looking into get evaluated for klinefelter syndrome, bc so many of my experiences regarding my body seem to line up with the diagnosis, but i don't have an official diagnostic determination one way or the other yet and that makes me feel sometimes like i'm not as valid as other intersex folks. but i want you to know that we are both valid, and your body is intersex and beautiful. ❤️

i hope you're able to get to a safe place where you can explore your gender presentation more openly and i hope that femininity brings you joy ❤️

have a good one!

#ask #anon

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