#I worked really hard and it matters that I’m doing this

[womanmanipulator]

prove your love

spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

synopsis: lila gives your boyfriend heart eyes. when he’s assigned to stay over at her place you’re pissed. when spencer comes home, he makes sure to show his love for you. SMUT!!! minors dni

warnings: dom/sub, praise kink, oral sex (fem receiving), piv, various positions, overstimulation, pet names such as trouble, sweetheart, love, etc. very cheesy.

~

you slip your heels off in the hall with an aggravated huff. ‘look on the bright side, the case is over.’ your brain tries to tell you but the many sights and experiences of lila disrespecting you and glaring at you wasn’t going to leave your brain anytime soon. meanwhile, spencer got the opposite treatment, compliments, heart eyes, and lingering handshakes the entire time. she even slipped him her number, that little—

“hey,” spencer says, knocking you out of your thoughts. he can tell your brains conjuring something up. he can practically see the cogs turning in your head. “what’s got you so worked up?” he asks, taking a step towards you. his hands settle on your hips then travel to your lower back. he smiles down at you.

“nothing.” you dismiss, light and airy. trying to act unbothered. “why do you think i’m mad?” you question back, a little too defensive for your liking. “are you asking me to profile you?” he grins. you don’t get the chance to speak before he starts, “for starters, you practically ripped your heels off and threw them, you’re all tense, your fists were balled up and i can tell your thinking hard about something.” he exaggerates.

“you’re wrong because i am perfectly fine.” you state matter of factly. brushing his hands off you and walking to the bedroom. he follows after you. “holding in emotions, specifically anger, can have detrimental effects on one’s mental health. the constant internal struggle to suppress emotions can lead to even more stress, anxiety and even depression.” spencer explains. you just hum in response, searching in your closet for something comfortable, your mind doesn’t stop running about stupid lila though. he watches you. it wasn’t uncommon, he loved to observe you. most of the time it was just to see your pretty face while you were in thought but other times he liked to study your behavior and learn your routines. spencer liked to do it with you.

“you’re staring,” you comment. “i can’t help it.” he flirts. “oh please, did you tell lila that too today?” you let slip. you flush. glad you aren’t face to face with spencer right now. “that’s what this is about?” he chuckles. “cmere,” he says. you stumble over to the bed and he pulls you onto his lap. “you know i love you right?” he says. you nod. not looking at him. “so much, like i am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you, or whatever bella said.” he makes a twilight reference. you were the one who forced him to watch it. you giggle a little, meeting his eyes. he smiles. “there’s my girl.” he murmurs. your heart swoons. his hands settle on your waist and he leans in. you kiss, it’s almost like a breath of fresh air. when he pulls away, still keeping close he speaks. “i think i need to prove how much i love you, hmm?” he hums. “you don’t need to.” you mumble. “but i want to, please?” he pleads. you don’t protest for long. “okay.. if you must.” you giggle. he smiles. he’s so pretty you feel like your going to explode.

as he places you on your back, unbuttoning your shirt, he starts to spit out another fact. “did you know men are more jealous of sexual infidelity than emotional?” he asks. “women are actually the opposite, they get more jealous with ‘emotional cheating’ than sexual.” he takes his time, you always loved how smart he was. it turned you on.

“i wasn’t jealous,” you say. “oh really?” he snorts. slipping off your shirt. “yeah.” you say. he instructs you to lift your hips so he can slide your pants off. “mhmm..” he says. eyes focused on your body, he’s too distracted to make a smart comment. “she was pretty, i guess.” you try to say. lila was gorgeous. he just chuckles and shakes his head. not bothering to comment. he dips down and kisses you. nose accidentally bumping against yours and teeth clashing. it was messy, just how you liked it. “what was that thing about kissing and shaking hands?” you ask, just to hear him talk.

“the number of pathogens transferred from just a single handshake is staggering. it’s safer to kiss,” he says into the skin of your neck. “that’s interesting, tell me more.” you smile. he groans. “i can tell you all about it later, can’t i just take care of my baby now?” he smiles. “baby? what happened to trouble?” you grin. “you are trouble,” he sighs. lovingly of course. you giggle as he kisses down from your neck to your collarbone, then unbuckles your bra without struggle. pulling it off. he trails down to your tummy, pressing little kisses here and there. making you antsy. he reaches the spot you need him most and smiles into your skin as you squirm a little. “patience, trouble.” he says. he plants a firm kiss on your hipbone and pulls your panties down with one hand. “you’re so pretty,” he smiles. eyes flickering to your face. “all mine, hmm?” he hums and you nod enthusiastically. he chuckles and thumbs experimentally at your clit.

you press your hips up into his touch, leaning into it. chasing that feeling. he smirks, inserting two fingers slowly. he paws at that spongy spot within your walls. you let out a quiet moan and spencer doesn’t deem it good enough, he starts punching at the spot. abusing it almost. this pulls another moan out of you and he speeds up the movements on your clit. you almost see heaven as you arch your back, eyes rolling back. he leans down, attaching his lips on your clit and sucking harshly. thank god you weren’t standing because you would’ve doubled over with how strong your orgasm was. you try to get the words out but only pant. spencer can tell, “gonna cum, trouble?” he asks. then continues his attack on the bundle of nerves. the coil in your belly snaps, climaxing with his name on your lips.

the sound of your slick fills the room as spencer works you through your organism. eyes trained on your pussy. his fingers are pulled out, given a quick lick and suddenly his mouth is on you. lapping and drinking up your release like a man starved. “spence, wait— gimme a minute-“ moan.

your begs fall on deaf ears as he’s absolutely lost in you. there’s no pulling him out. you reach your hand down and bury it in his hair. pressing your hips into the bed to escape the overstimulation. trying to tug him off, he doesn’t listen though. moaning into you when you pull on his hair. the vibrations make you even more sensitive before, his nose brushes up against your clit as two strong hands come to hold you down on either side.

you moan, tears pricking in your eyes from the overstimulation. everything’s magnified by 10. the obscene sounds of your pussy fill the room as your poor clit is abused, spencer’s tongue prodding into you, milking you for everything you have to offer. the familiar hear fills your belly and you can feel the coil start to unwind. “spence—“ you sob. cumming again. riding against his face. you can feel that bastard smirk against you as he greedily laps up your release. “you’re okay,” he coaxs. finally pulling off of you. he presses a kiss to your mound then pulls himself up, he kisses your cheek. then wipes the stray tears on your cheek.

“hi pretty,” he says with a smile. your eyes meet his and you smile, a little dazy. “you have something on your face.” you say, remaints of cum. “do i?” he chuckles. he wipes it off with the back of his hand and kisses you. you can taste yourself on his tongue. “love you so much,” he mumbles against your lips. you don’t get the chance to respond before he’s kissing you again. a little tongue slipping in as he gets carried away. he messily kisses the corner of your mouth, then latches onto your neck. he works at his zipper, multitasking.

begrudgingly, he pulls away from you, slipping down his pants and kicking them off haphazardly. you tug at his shirt and he takes the hint to pull it off. undoing his tie and throwing it somewhere. when he FINALLY takes his shirt off you get to run your hands along his torso giddily. “y’so pretty,” you mumble. “this isn’t about me, it’s about you, trouble.” he says. slipping off his boxers. his cock slips angrily against his stomach and you almost whine. he leans down and kisses you as he slowly pushes in. the stretch burns but is bearable. “i know. its okay,” he whispers. he presses to the hilt, nudging against your cervix. you feel full, his hand slithers down and presses against your lower belly. “mmphh.” you whimper against his lips. he devours the sound and keeps his lips on yours as he starts to thrust in and out of you. pulling his head back to see your face every so often as the tip nudges against that sweet spot. it’s torturous how slow he’s going. you’re so overstimulated, tears start falling out of your eyes.

he smiles down at you, picking up the pace a little. his face contorts and he lets out a moan. you involuntarily clench at that and it punches out another sound. “trouble— can’t keep doing that.” he slurs. the wet sounds of him shoving your slick out of you fill the room as your hips collide. teeth and noses brush together messily and he’s practically devouring you. everything’s happening so fast. before you know it you’re coming again, his name recited on your lips. he works you through it, slamming into you with a feverish pace. you constrict around him and he’s not long after you, pressing himself as far as he can into you and coming. he’s whining,

you pant, he’s collapsed ontop of you. buried in your neck. tears roll down your face. “good girl, good job. taking me so well.” he praises breathily. taking? “..taking..?” you say. “don’t you mean took?”

“we aren’t done.” he lifts himself up from your shoulder, pushing his glasses up. the both of your climax leaks around his dick and spills out of you slowly. “i can’t!” you start to cry as he pulls out, he presses your knees to your chest and shoves himself back in. so much for catching your breath. “you will,” he says softly. beginning to thrust in and out of you, he’s so deep you feel it in your stomach. “that’s it, my good girl huh?” he praises into your neck, a pang of arousal shoots through your body and you can feel yourself get wetter. “spence—“ “none of the whining, you can take it.” he says. he bites at your jawline. you moan loudly. everything feels so good, it’s too much. he reaches down and starts to rub figure eights into your clit gently, a contrast to the brutal pace he had going. “there ya go, taking me so well.” he murmurs, pulling his teeth off and kissing gently. “ah- i- gonna.. cum.” you force out. almost forgetting how to talk. “let go baby.” he says. your back arches, eyes rolling back, clinging to him as if he was the one keeping your grounded. he follows after, shooting cum into you with a whimper and a “nngh.”

it’s unreal. you see stars.

when you come down from your high, your sat on spencer’s lap, dick still intact. you sob, falling into his shoulder and clinging onto him. “i can’t spence.” you sniffle from the overstimulation. if you had to come again you’d probably scream. you’d also scream though if he pulled out.

“the world record for most female orgasms in an hour is a hundred and ah- fuck, thirty six” he says as you clench around him. “i think you can.” he smirks. you push his glasses up.

you bite back, “nerd.”

-

that’s it

not proofread

i’m sick asf rn 🥰

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #dom spencer reid #sub reader #criminal minds fic

[erwinsvow]

knocked up too young and wearing a glittery diamond ring on your left hand, you had settled nicely into the role of mrs. cameron. it wasn’t tough, not a hard position to play in the slightest—rafe, or rather your husband—made everything nice and easy for you.

it seemed like it was his biggest desire come true, making sure you and his little girl were taken care of. he liked it actually, more than he admitted, knowing the two of you were fast asleep in bed when he left for work in the morning, doing nothing but relaxing throughout the day.

in fact, he had decided the second you had tearfully confessed that you were pregnant that this was the sort of life you were meant for, the kind of life he was going to give you. you were so scared, he can remember it like it was yesterday—your watery eyes and wet cheeks, the way your hands shook when you pulled out the test to show him.

“i-i-i’m so sorry, i, i thought the pills were enough, everyone says it’s enough-” you were stammering and crying your way into exhausation, something he definitely didn’t like. 

“s’okay, kid. nothin’ to cry about.” he was formulating his plan already, being proactive in all matters, thinking ahead to marriage licenses and car seats while you stared down at the positive stick in your palm.

“you’re.. you’re not mad, rafe?” the way you look at him, the world stops spinning. why would he be mad?

“hey, s’done,” he says, hands on your shoulders to steady you, bringing you to the edge of the bed to take a seat. he takes the pregnancy test from your hands, looking down at it himself. “it already happened. can’t take it back. no point in cryin’ over it.” 

when you look up with even more tears in your eyes, he’s half convinced he’s said the wrong thing—but it doesn’t faze him, he keeps going.

“hey, hey. what, you thought i wouldn’t take care of you? this is my kid too.”

“i know, i just, i thought you wouldn’t be okay.. with it. having it.” that’s the first and only time he got stern with you through this whole pregnancy.

“hey, don’t talk like that. this is our baby. there’s no question ‘bout havin’ it.” you nod up at him, tears drying as you steady yourself, regain a little composure knowing rafe’s not mad about this little accident. “y’okay now?” you nod again. “good, call your parents. tell ‘em we’re getting married soon.” 

“wh-rafe!” 

but, like how most things were with rafe, he called the shots and you listened. the two of you got married shortly after, before you were even showing. anyone who even attempted to comment on the hastiness of everything shut up the second rafe stared at them.

you’d be a liar to say you didn’t like it, a fool if you didn’t appreciate how rafe was to you.

he stepped up in every way, better than you could have even tried to put together in your imagination. a place was purchased and had slowly started to become home, with a crib that rafe assembled by himself—though it had taken hours and ended up with the instruction papers all crumbled up in a corner—and baby proofed cabinets and sockets. you laugh watching rafe try to install the baby gate on the staircase.

“you know that’s for when they start crawling, right?” you giggle, a hand on your very pregnant belly.

“shut up. m’being proactive. gonna have no time once she actually gets here and we’re runnin’ around changing diapers and makin’ formula and shit.” 

you’re only a touch surprised with how well-versed he is with all the baby stuff, though you appreciate it more and more since you’re still a little confused and overwhelmed. he makes it all easy, from the pregnancy cravings he runs around to find for you to the pretty pink walls in the nursery. he even satisfies all your other cravings, like around month six when there was nothing you wanted more than rafe's dick in every position you could think of.

when his daughter actually comes into the world, the two of you are a mess of emotions and thoughts, but there’s only one rafe really cares about. when can he give you another one?

it doesn’t take long for him to start trying again—trying to convince you that the two of you can handle two, that little kids need siblings their age. the baby’s only six months old but he’s convinced it’ll be better to have them all young at the same time rather than waiting—at least that’s the line he feeds you.

“no, rafe, they’re gonna be like irish twins. it’s so embarassing,” you say next to him in bed, staring up at your husband. 

“what’s that?”

“when you have two babies that aren’t even a year apart.”

“oh. that’s a thing? good, at least there’s a name for it. i’ll get you a book on it, since that’s what we’re doin’.”

and try as you might, even you can’t resist rafe for long, not when he’s taking such good care of you and just wants to give you another baby with his blue eyes and your pretty hair. you end up in the same position that got you into this whole situation—your knees folded to your chest and eyes rolling back while rafe slams into you. 

“don’t worry, baby,” he breathes into your ear, low and quiet since the baby’s sleeping in the other room. “i’ll get y’knocked up again. won’t have to think about a thing in this world except my kids.”

it’s a shame you get pregnant so quickly—rafe was so fun when his only thought revolved around fucking you full of his cum. 

“well, s’not gonna be irish twins. too far apart,” rafe says, looking at the photos from the doctor’s appointment.

“no, it’s just regular twins.” you don’t think you’ve ever seen rafe so happy.

#lol <3 this has been in the drafts for SO LONG #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #what should we call her #wifey reader

[miinatozakiii]

attachment: 1 image

myoui mina x fem!reader ; smut

synopsis: your girlfriends a model and you’re always clocked in so it’s reeeaaally hard for you to get intimate and goddddd mina’s getting impatient and sexually frustrated so she takes matters into her own hands.

warnings: smut ; filthy!! ; did someone say sub reader? ; sub!reader!!!!! ; mina is a model ; reader is in forensics ; somnophilia ; thigh riding ; fingering ; mentions of stitches ; bruises ; blood ; small easter egg if you’ve read one of my jihyo fics ; not proofread ; anything else i forgot to mention

a/n: muahhahahaa

attachment: 1 image

your phone buzzes, and usually you’d ignore it considering you have to meet this deadline– but when you look at your phone, seeing the small pixels of your girlfriend getting a kiss on the cheek from you in the contact picture and the little “minari” on the screen; you quickly grab your phone, clicking on the notification.

jesus. is all you can think of when you see the picture, you’re surprised you can think after seeing it.

mina – your girlfriend, your oh-so-lovely girlfriend, the girl of your dreams, the model you managed to get into a relationship with after spilling all of your drink on at one of sana’s parties, your everything and more – is leaned over against a balcony, eyes looking into the camera seductively. her makeup is light, a strand of her bangs fall over her forehead and then you glimpse down. you feel your chest tighten as soon you see the panties peeking out, pants slipping down so you can get a tantalizing glimpse of the skin and–

you groan.

it’s four, and you’re working overtime – again; there are too many cases to examine and report – you can’t be riled up, especially not now. biting your lip, you put your phone down, deciding to push everything to the side.

getting back to work is not easy.

minari: 1 notification 

“you fucking hate me.” is mumbled under your breath before you peek over, unlocking your phone quickly to see a text:

minari: don’t ignore me baby

minari: miss you

minari: did you like the picture? 

oh you loved the picture, loved it so much that you wonder what it would be like to rip the clothes she has on right off of her.

you: :-( 

you: please dont do this to me

you: i’m working overtime

you: when will you be back?

minari: this weekend, friday night

you groan again, sitting back in your chair in defeat. that’s three days.

you: i have to get back to work

you: the things i’d do to you

you: you’re a pain in the ass

on the other side of the line, mina giggles. she’s satisfied with her effect on you, she can just picture the little crease of your brows, the frown, and really just how cute you look when you’re all pouty and impatient. 

she bites the inside of your lip after reading the second to last text from you, thinking about just what you could do to her, until she’s interrupted by one of the photographers. it isn’t easy to model when she’s missing you, she’d much rather show off her luxury panties to you than the cameras. 

–

you’re beat. literally and figuratively.

as someone accustomed to the comfort and safety of the forensics lab and the routine of the department, being dragged into a chase on a friday night is far from what you expected. you had plans to go home and wait for your girlfriend, ready to greet her with a hug and something more – but no, of course you had been caught in a pursuit.

after being treated by the nurses, they hand you a slip of paper for a follow-up check-up, but you wave it off, insisting that you'll be fine. however, it's clear that jihyo, the detective, has endured much worse. fresh stitches on her ribs, bruises covering her upper back and arms, a bloody nose, and a cut on her jaw, she's clearly been through a rough ordeal, thankfully spiderwoman stepped into help you all out. 

in comparison, your injuries seemed minor—a smack to the ribs, a punch or two to the face, and a close call with a punch that grazed your temple, resulting in a bit of blood and a bandage to cover it. 

when you finally get to your car, exhausted and limp against the seat, you check your phone while you wait for the air conditioning to turn on. 

there’s seven new messages from mina, earning a sigh. 

you read through all of them, each one slowly getting more worrisome as you scroll, which paints a frown on your lips. 

[6:03pm]

minari: i just got home

minari: where are you?

[7:44pm]

minari: i bet you’re busy, stay safe

minari: i’ll be waiting here

minari: love you, i hope you’re okay

[10:30pm}

minari: going to bed, i’ll see you soon love

minari: thinking of you

[10:58pm]

minari: wish you were here, goodnight, i love you

the pain that’s spread throughout your body doesn’t bother you anymore; the thought of your girlfriend alone in bed – finally home after her two week-long work trip – makes you groan frustratedly as you lean your face against the wheel of your car. 

you’ve got to get home.

–

it’s almost midnight when you get to your apartment and you don’t even make it to the bedroom.

you underestimated the toll of the fatigue, the bruises, and the damage done to your body – not to mention the countless sleepless hours leading up to this chaotic night. you've been tirelessly investigating various dna samples and physical evidence, neglecting your much-needed rest in favor of focusing on your work and trying to distract yourself from missing your girlfriend too much because that is already enough to throw you in a spiral. 

as soon as you catch sight of the couch, you practically collapse onto it, sinking into the cushions with a sense of relief. leaning back lazily, you feel the heaviness of your eyelids, each blink a struggle to keep them open for just a little longer.

mina crosses your mind and you feel sorry for leaving her alone, but you physically can’t do anything about that.

the exhaustion catches up to you, and then you find yourself passing out on the couch with your work clothes still on, tie loose, and no energy left to fight off the drowsiness. 

–

mina wakes up earlier than usual – still alone.

the sun hasn’t even risen yet, and she had expected to find you lazily draped over her, maybe with the blanket slipping off the bed and the feeling of your breath gently warming her skin. but as she wakes, she realizes that the blanket is still snugly wrapped around her, and her skin feels oddly cold.

she blinks once, then twice, and still, you’re not there.

getting up and reaching over blindly for her phone, she unlocks it groggily, opening your messages to see a “read, 11:40pm” 

mina furrows her brows, rubbing her squinted eyes to read the same message on the screen. she feels a pang of worry as she wonders why you haven't responded or called, and why you're not next to her right now. hastily, she checks your location, clicking on your contact photo, and then freezes in disbelief.

you're home?

the contact picture she has of you—your smushed face with drool leaving the corner of your lip—is only half a centimeter away from her on the screen. with a sense of urgency, she jumps out of bed and rushes to find you.

she walks out of the hall and into the living room, catching a glimpse of the back of your head on the couch. mina lets out a sigh of relief, walking over and standing in front of your figure.

you look adorable, sitting up against the couch with your head leaned back on the cushion. you stay frozen in place, the only movement coming from the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest, which tells mina that you’re out. your hair is disheveled, you're still in your work clothes, and there's a new band-aid beside your brow on your temple. mina finds herself captivated by the sight, unable to tear her gaze away.

“long night, i bet.” mina mumbles, sitting down next to you and putting her head on your shoulder. you don’t budge, still remaining in your place.

mina kisses your cheek before returning to your shoulder, deciding to rest her eyes with you for a while more.

–

your girlfriend wakes up a few hours later – you’re still asleep by her side, still frozen in your place.

mina rubs her eyes against your shoulder, feeling the warmth of your body as she stirs awake for the second time that morning. fishing for her phone, she checks the time: 11:31 am. glancing back at you, still sound asleep, she decides it's time for both of you to start the day. she hasn't even had a chance to greet you while you were awake yet, and she misses your attention.

she presses a kiss to your cheek – no response.

pouting, she presses a few more to your cheek – you stay frozen in place, eyes closed and breathing still relaxed. 

then she moves over to your jawline, pressing a few pecks and moving down to your neck, the spot that earns the most from you – there’s a reaction, a small groan from you, and then you shift in your place – still no sign of consciousness. 

mina's never been a morning person, which only adds to her frustration. with a whine, she moves over to straddle you, settling herself on your lap.

“c’mon, i’ve been waiting for you.” she says, and still, it doesn’t wake you up. “wearing the same lingerie from the pictures and you’re still like this…” 

not only is she frustrated from missing you, she’s been irritated from how sex-deprived she’s been.

she brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, gently fixing the mess from whatever ordeal you endured last night, before taking a good look at you. the morning sunlight highlights the contours of your jawline, making your skin glow, and the slight parting of your lips adds to your allure. 

you look good—maybe even better than usual—and mina can't help but feel a surge of desire, fueled by her deprivation of you.

she tugs gently on the tie wrapped loosely around your neck, coaxing you forward. your head naturally falls forward in response, so mina tilts it up by the chin, cradling your face between her fingers.

“you look so cute,” mina sighs, rubbing a thumb over your skin. “i could take you like this.”

the two of you have talked about this – about fucking while one is asleep – and neither one of you was against it. however, it’s never actually happened, and sure mina’s daydreamed about this, and you have too, but she never thought there’d actually be such a perfect moment in time.

you’re asleep, looking all pretty, perfect, and downright fuckable – mina can’t help but bite her lip at the sight, grinding down against your lap a bit.

she shifts over to straddle one thigh in order to gain more friction, gasping at the second movement of her hips against you.

“maybe,” a small breath leaves her lips, “this’ll wake you up.”

another rut against your slacks and she’s shutting her eyes, fully waking herself up at the feeling.

mina’s usually never this horny, or bold for that matter, but after two weeks without her girlfriend with barely any time to talk to one another – she’s a whole new person.

holding onto one shoulder – earning a small mumble from you – mina grinds against you again. she’s only wearing your t-shirt, which sits loosely on her, and the panties from the picture she had sent – they’re soaked now.

her arms rest on the top of your shoulders now, and wrap around your neck as she clings onto you desperately. she feels hazy, seeing stars the faster she stimulates herself on you, and you have no fucking clue what’s going on. it honesly turns her on even more, getting to use you like this.

and when she thinks it can’t get anymore overwhelming, the feeling of her cunt against you, the thrill of making a mess of herself against you – she feels a rough, firm grip on her hips, then moves her head away from your neck to see your eyes slowly opening. 

“baby, w-what?” you sigh out lazily, trying to process everything that’s going on, “what are you–”

mina cuts you off with a kiss, to which you respond immediately with a hand cupping her cheek, and your lips fitting with hers perfectly. 

your girlfriend shudders against you, looking down at her cunt leaving a dark mark of arousal on your gray bottoms, then latches her lips onto your jawline. she leaves sensual kisses, waking you up from your deep sleep immediately. you melt as your hands reach the base of her neck.

she presses a peck on your upper jaw before muttering into your ear, “i missed– ah– you,” she says breathily.

“me too baby,” you respond with a sly smile, using your hands to push her down on your skin roughly, eliciting a loud moan into your ear.

she leans back, placing one hand on your shoulder while the other grabs the end of your tie. with a swift tug on the black cloth, you gasp in surprise. your face is close, close enough for mina to see your dilated pupils, creased brows, and flushed cheeks. it all adds to the allure, and tightens the knot in her stomach.

“y-you– fuck– left me all alone… l-last– god, nngh– night,” she struggles to say, especially when your thigh flexes. her hips jerk once before she grabs your hair roughly, then she throws her head back slightly, still making eye contact with you.

all your attention is on her, your eyes wide and pleading, like a puppy ready to answer and do anything she says. there's a mix of longing and desperation in your gaze, making you look arousingly pathetic and utterly irresistible simultaneously.

she tugs on your tie once more, earning a small whine, then orders: “you’re going to make me— u-ugh,  cum, okay?”

you nod eagerly, already helping her please herself against you with both hands again.

quickly, you tap your thigh up and rut her against you once more, the sensation and timing earns something near a yelp from her. mina pauses in her place and you feel her lower body vibrate against you as her high washes over, she practically melts, and her body goes a little limp as she tries to catch her breath.

you hold her tightly, supporting her body as it recovers from the overwhelming feeling. 

there’s a large, darkened spot on the cloth covering your whole thigh now, her arousal leaking over.

she kisses you again, basically taking the breath away from you. she traps your bottom lip between her two teeth, tugging gently to tease you – your grip on her tightens.

“y/n,” she says, climbing off your thigh and settling beside you.

you respond immediately, “yes?”

her hands toy with your tie again before she pulls dangerously. you whimper, biting the inside of your bottom lip. her manicured nails trace along your skin all the way up to the bandaid on your temple; you sigh out pathetically.

“where were you last night?” mina questions, letting her nail trace down your skin languidly. “no text, call, or girlfriend in my bed after two weeks of not seeing her.”

“i-i–” she tugs on your tie once more, tantalizingly, before rubbing two fingers on the cloth covering your cunt.s “mmf, i-i was caught in a pursuit and, we got into some um– some disagreements.” she presses on your cunt and your head shoots back – mina pulls again, making your head jerk forward to meet her dark gaze. “mina, please–”

“keep going, i didn’t tell you to stop, did i?”

you gulp. “n-no.”

she unzips your slacks now, skillfully unbuttoning it with one hand so she can play with your waistband. you fight the urge to look down, pleading with your eyes in an attempt for her to just fucking touch you.

pulling on the cloth again, she orders, “keep going.”

then she slides her fingers in, teasing your skin by rubbing circles above where you need it most. “j-jihyo um, she was beat up really–” mina presses against your clit, brushing her fingers over it softly and pushing your buttons. “fuck, really badly, a-and i– mmf–”

“you what, love?”

“p-please, please i need you, please just–”

“are you done with the story? i still don’t know why i woke up alone, and to find you dead asleep on the couch.” her tone is viscious, which makes you gulp again. 

“s-sorry,” you apologize, looking down at her hand in your panties. “i waited until everyone was, patched up and–” you throw your head back at the feeling of her fingers sliding up and down your slit. she tugs – you whimper, “s-sorry. and i saw your text and had to go home and– god, i had to rush home and by the time i–”

you feel her enter you just barely, pressing just the tip of her finger inside you, making you squirm and moan breathily. your head shoots down, your eyes shutting in response to the overwhelming stimulus. mina's touch is grueling as her fingers trail up to your chin, caressing it with a sensual tenderness. she tilts your head back up, and when your eyes meet hers.

“c’mon, use your words.”

“s-sorry, again.” you pant. “i got home and, t-these past weeks i couldn’t sleep without y-you and–” she pushes half of her middle finger in; you bite back a groan in order to finish your explanation. “i-i guess it caught up to me, and then i passed out here.” you sigh out quickly, looking at her deperately.

“you haven’t been taking care of yourself?” mina asks, looking at you pitifully. her hand cups your cheek now, “love…”

“i just, missed you.”

mina frowns, rubbing her thumb on your cheek. “let me take care of you baby.”

“please,” you beg, “just, god, just touch me already.”

mina kisses your lips again, and as she does so, you groan into her lips as she pushes two fingers into your soaking cunt. 

they enter seamlessly, earning a desperate mix of a cry and a whimper out of those puffy lips of yours. she brings her fingers out, and with the same thrill – pushes them back in, almost double the force. your hand grips your own thigh, overwhelmed by the way she flattens her palm against your clit, tormenting your pussy. 

mina’s lips start to roam your neck, leaving marks that’ll stay for days, marks that’ll have you reprimanded but you don’t fucking care. she’s been gone for two weeks, way too long and fucking yourself to pictures of her on your phone could never compare to what you’re feeling right now.

she can feel your tightening around her fingers, you were always so easy to rile up, so sensitive and vocal about everything that made you feel good. so when she curls her fingers and feels your hand snake to her hair, practically pulling it off her scalp, she knows you’re close already.

and then you’re lazily grinding your hips against her, slacks now caught at your ankles as your panties start to soak up the arousal leaking from your entrance. your legs close, but mina opens them, getting rougher with her fingers and hitting your clit with her palm. 

“m-mina,” you whine, “i’m close, god, so close,”

“yeah?” she says softly, in a way that sends a shiver throughout your whole body. “cum for me then, c’mon baby, you deserve it after all your hard work.”

you manage to look her in the eye, brows creased to oblivion and your jaw dropped before it picks itself up so you can mutter a shaky “m–hmm.”

her thumb moves swiftly to brush your clit, which is enough to send you over the edge, leaving you to shake against the couch and rock your hips up. she watches you cry out, the rise of your chest – then the fall, and feels her hand grow damp with your climax.

she continues to massage your clit, sliding her fingers up and down your entrance simultaneously to let you ride out your high, bringing you back down to earth, letting your vision go from hazy to normal again.

“m-mina, fuck, baby,” is all you can mutter before she pulls you forward with your tie, kissing your swollen, reddened lips. your words muffle against her and your hands grip her shoulder tightly before loosening the more you kiss.

you feel dizzy, dizzy in the best way possible with her lips on yours, tongues swirling and kisses growing sloppier. 

and then mina pulls away one more time, twisting the fabric of your tie around her pointer as she gazes at you; dark red marks – almost purple, each the size of a quarter – are plastered on the skin of your neck, your eyes are closed as you breath heavily, and your hair is even more ruffled than before. you’re trembling, mina always liked how cute and overstimulated you are after you cum, so riled up and thrown off that it makes her want to kiss you till you’re struggling to bring air into your lungs.

she brings a hand to your hair, brushing the messy strands that hang over your pretty face in order to then cup your cheeks again. she smiles at you, grinning at the mess she’s made.

“awake now?”

“very.” you sigh out, bringing your hand over to her thigh to rub circles on it. “i’m really sorry for leaving you alone last night.”

mina shakes her head. “it’s fine, you had your job to do love.” 

“i would’ve enjoyed doing you instead.” you joke, pouting at her cutely. “god, do you know how annoying it is to be horny when your girlfriend isn’t home?”

your girlfriend rests her head against the cushion, then turns to face you. “oh i know. i waited all night for you, you know?”

turning to her and giving her an apologetic frown, you apologize again, “sorry.”

mina rolls her eyes at you, giggling. 

she holds your hand and uses the other to brush her fingers over the marks she’s made on your neck, making your breath hitch.

“make it up to me with a few more rounds?”

yeah, you’re tired as hell, even after eleven hours of sleep. you’ve just came and it took the life out of you – plus, you’re seriously just exhausted, but the way your cunt throbs at the suggestion urges you to lean over and kiss her again.

you pull away, lips brushing against hers before you answer against her, “ruin me.”

#twice x reader #kpop x reader #twice imagines #mina x reader #twice mina #myoui mina x reader #myoui mina #twice smut

[nexility-sims]

𝐍𝐎. 𝟕   ❛ 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 ❜   |   AUGUST 1991

❧  𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲  /  𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠  /  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  /  𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

Trish Fitzpatrick wore many hats, but her favorite was “freelance journalist.” Her area of expertise grew directly out of myriad side gigs: what she called portrait pieces of interesting people. Outlets clamored for them—or, they had since she’d buttered up famous, neurotic opera singer-turned-starlet Prudence Boone into revealing she had a glass eye, a secret runaway daughter, and a hair-eating habit. Of course, Prudence was basically a stranger. They had once had a fifteen minute conversation on the deck of a yacht, bonding over the fact that neither actually knew to whom the vessel belonged. Prudence thought Trish’s outlandish suggestions were funny enough to remember her when she called to pitch the piece. It had gone the same way with Renzo. Of course, they had met while fighting over a scarf in a vintage clothing store. Trish considered letting him win to be a debt, one for which she would demand recompense at the ideal time. Opportunities passed, and then August 1991 proved to be the time.

❧ i got the irresistible urge to do renzo backstory, which was meant to be an outtake, but then i was like, "uh, no, this totally works as story proper if i put leonor in it," so here we are ! context and such. given the amount of work, this might be my magnum opus until further notice ... it was also just fun to do :^) checked off the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll boxes ?? where's my prize. in conclusion, i love my white boy of the week or whatever

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

I grew up in a tiny town—Petunia. Petunia? You say it differently. It’s the country coming out, I guess. Not “pee-tyoon-ee-ah,” it’s “puh-toon-yuh.” Petunia. That’s it. So, how was it? Fond memories? In retrospect, maybe. I wanted to get the hell out of there from day one. What I remember is being very unhappy—dispositionally sullen, not just a pouty kid, but fully down and out. Born that way, probably. And your parents? My parents … Life had the upper hand, man. They were good at losing. I didn’t want that life.

My dad professed to be a traveling salesman—What, he wasn’t? I mean, he didn’t know jack shit about vacuums or whatever the fuck. I don’t know. But, he wasn’t around a lot, it sounds like? Gone for weeks at a time. Just me and my mom. How was she? Not really there either. When I got home from school, she’d pop her pills and be gone until morning. She wasn’t avoiding me; she was avoiding life. She did what she had to do in the mornings—you know, I had what I needed, the bare essentials—but she was checked out. You had a lot of unsupervised time, then. Oh, did I. Too much. I mean, I had books to read, and I got into music early—From her? No. My dad’d blow into town and bring pity gifts. Not kid-appropriate shit, now that I think about it. Heavy, gritty stories. A guitar I was too little to use. Flip lighter. But, you know, I was a kid. I wanted to run and play with everyone else, too. Of course.

Here’s the thing: it was hard to be a scrawny kid named Lorencio in Petunia. Shit, I can imagine. What was that like? … Hard, like I said. Well—Details? I got the shit kicked out of me. Regularly. What do they call it—um—“school of hard knocks”? Yeah. I remember, one time, I limped home on a Saturday. Mom was out of it, but she leapt up when she saw all the blood. Cleaned me up. It’s like I’m there now—in that bathroom with the dirty tile, her burning me with peroxide … She didn’t really talk, you know, not in a serious way? But she did then? She said, in Uspanian, “‘Don’t roll over for anyone.’” Interesting. So, that’s the lesson? Part of it. I realized that summer it didn’t matter if you were scrawny, if you talked funny, if you were poor. What mattered was not being a pussy. [Laughs] Oh, yeah? If you want credibility, if you want respect, sometimes you gotta be able to take a beating. Don’t roll over. That’s right.

I think it also helped when the growth spurt hit. You must’ve still been scrawny. [Laughs] String bean. So it goes. Adolescence . Now, you grew up fast, is what I’ve heard. You could say that. My life changed when Marty got out of lock-up—Sorry, what?—for “teen offenders”; he set his grandparents’ car on fire—oh, I see, regular kid shit—Uh huh. We hit it off. He introduced me to other guys, including Jesse. They’d huff gas together. Oh my God. Not whippits? Sure, but less convenient. That’s—No good, yeah. Fun though. Have you—? I’ve tried everything, Patricia.

Jesus! So, Marty and Jesse…? We got on like a house fire. [Groans] They were into petty crime for the thrill of it—Now, Renzo, is arson petty? He did it one fucking time. Everyone overreacted. They got into trouble for fun, and for you it was—? Money. Not a lot. I was too dumb to consider the risks. But, you did other things for money, too? Don’t say it like that. I wasn’t hooking. [Snorts] I worked a lot. I was cutting school to work, getting paid under the table, all of that. Maybe—hear me out—some of it was thrilling for you, too? I won’t tell anyone. [Chuckles] What can I say? Credibility.

I feel like I’m mischaracterizing … I love Marty and Jesse, to this day. Jesse’s daughter is your godchild, right? Yeah. Marty went back to Petunia in … ‘88? Jesse and I had better luck, or maybe we were just more desperate. Either way, my point is that delinquents get a bad rap—With good reason! Sure, okay. Both of them were deeper and more complicated than that. You’re not an outlier. No. We’re a dime a dozen. No one gives them the chances you got. Uh huh. So, we bonded over that—feeling down and out, like I said, but also the fact that we loved music. Marty’s family had money, so they’d bought him a nice bass guitar. But, Jesse’s mind … He’s so fucking creative. He wasn’t a reader, but I could tell him about something I’d been chewing on, and he’d have a song inspired by it within the hour. He has an incredible voice, too. He does.

I guess it’s not surprising that you guys did what you did. There was nothing for us at home, you know? Packing up and heading out west didn’t feel like a risk. And your mom understood that? Better than anyone. I know people judged her—shit, I judge her, too—but I always knew she was trying. That’s sweet. Is it? I mean, I think so … She met my dad at a bus stop three weeks after she arrived in the country and made the mistake of getting off at his stop. That’s it. That was her crime. Well, I’m sure she’s doing better now, huh? She lives in a nicer house in a nicer city, but that doesn’t cure depression, now does it? I suppose not. There was this woman whose lawn I’d cut all the time … A real bitch, but she was extra nice because she felt bad for me. Hated my mother. I think she was just jealous because my dad was her high school sweetheart. Isn’t that just how it goes? Damn foreigner stealing a real catch from her. [Scoffs] Sticky fingers when she invited me inside for lemonade—cigs and quarters from her purse, Valium from the cabinet, that kind of thing. [Laughs] Casual. It was pretty brazen, honestly. Fucking dumb kid.

Alright, so, you come out here with Marty and Jesse to make music, and now you’re a serious actor with a name and a big career ahead of you. How’d that happen? It was completely accidental. While we waited for a record deal, I did odd jobs, like auto work—you know, in a body shop. It was decent. Had you worked on cars before that? So, I got familiar, uh … [Chuckles] We’ve established I was a rascal. We could get under the hood of a parked car and make a few dollars off parts. I can get you in so much trouble, Renzo! [Laughs]

Don’t tell anyone, come on! I was a kid. Have a heart. I guess it paid off. But, alright, body work? What’s the connection? It’s kind of convoluted. When business was slow, the guy I worked for loaned his employees out to another mechanic. This guy, long story short, brought me along to assist him on a movie set. I guess he was a known quantity? Everyone knows the right guy! That’s everyone’s explanation for where they end up. Me, too. Uh huh. I don’t know why they let me do it, but—Somehow it worked out. Yeah, it did. Right place, right time.

You’re in the spot. How did you get into it, though? This is embarrassing as hell but, fuck it, I’ll be honest. Please. Don’t stop now. [Chuckles] I got a shot because I’d been chatting up this girl who, as it turns out, was the director’s kid—or, in fact, she approached me. I had no idea who she was or why she was there. Of course she did! That’s not surprising, is it? I think I was the most disinterested person there. I don’t know. Anyway, we talked a couple times, then—out of the blue—someone asked me if I wanted to hop into a scene, say a line, ten seconds flat. She did that for you? I don’t know what she did. No one mentioned her. Maybe she thought you looked like a movie star. [Snorts] Fuck. I hope not. Did you want to do it? I wanted to make music. I wanted to finish reading my book. I wanted … I mean, I said yeah. Can’t decline that. Makes a good story, right? What happened with her—? Oh, hell. Sorry! Moving on, for now. [Groans]

I got a call several weeks later about an audition. How did that feel? Bizarre. We’d done a demo for a producer once, but this was different. Were you excited? I was terrified. But, I went. Didn’t get that part, although everyone was perfectly nice to me. How disappointing. You always remember your first … But, hey, you have to look at it this way: I didn’t want to be an actor. I thought it was cool, but it felt like … ? Go ahead, give me a good metaphor. Like when you’ve been craving your favorite food, but then someone offers you a helping of something different, new, appetizing. How’s that? Passable. C-plus. [Laughs] Fuck you, Pat.

Okay, so the road didn’t end there. No, it didn’t. I got another call, and that one went well. This was for … Sugar Sweet? That’s the one. Cornball, but I love that movie. Never seen it. What! How is that possible? You were in it. You went to the premiere screening. There are pictures. Saw my first scene, excused myself to go piss, didn’t come back until the applause had started. Wow. Everyone has opinions about that movie these days—very contentious, whether or not Alicia was in the wrong when she left me and stole my lifelong dream. What do you think? Me, Renzo? Good for her. I thought it was kind of bitchy. It’s peculiar how many women say that. I wonder why … ! Billy’s so dreamy. Please, ask me about something else, Pat. So, this romantic comedy is your launching pad. It leads to the television show. The television show blows up immediately. Walk me through what that felt like?

Also terrifying. I really cannot emphasize enough that I didn’t want attention. I wanted money and time to support my music, and acting seemed like a good way to do that. Just didn’t account for the side effects. Like fame? Uh huh. I was a nobody in Sugar Sweet, and the pay was shit, but it felt like a miraculously good deal at the time. What it did is put me in the running for more serious work. I think, even then, sometimes the casting folks were hesitant to take a risk on someone with no experience whatsoever, even if they had—A spark? Talent? Sure. It was unsettling, the idea that I was some kind of “natural,” and I compensated by working really hard. Well, you’ve established yourself as a hard worker. Sure. I guess they saw that—the improvement, in addition to the fact that I had a resume to speak of by then. Or, eh, they saw that you were pretty. Right, of course, you don’t need talent if you have Teen Mag’s favorite cheekbones. [Snickers] I joined a cast with other people who had very little experience, and we bonded over that. I just didn’t expect to be … What, the center of attention? That, yeah.

You know what’s fucking weird? Huh? Signing your name on a picture of your own face that belongs to someone else. That they’re going to take it home and pin it to their fucking wall or frame it on their bedside table. Someone’s kid treating you like their school crush, blushing and shit while they’re asking for you to do it. That does seem like a strange experience. Over and over again. Teenyboppers, goddamn. You were in the magazines for them. I read a couple interviews. No the fuck I was not. I did not do those. No? What they do is take quotes from actual, consented conversations and stitch them together for their own use. It’s legal. That’s fascinating. Maybe I should try that. Less work. [Laughs] Yeah, alright, flush your “exclusive access” privilege right down the toilet.

But, look, I’m not disparaging the fans wholesale. That’d be unfair. And, ouch, ungrateful? Yeah. The initial couple years were fucking insane, but I was with people I liked, and a lot of the fans we actually met were … Normal? Uh huh. Not a hysterical, handsy, screaming blob. You got grabbed? Groped, Pat. Oh boy. We don’t like grabass, I guess. Well, hold on now, just not like that—You keep sidetracking me. What kind of interviewer are you? I’m having fun with my buddy! Sue me. [Chuckles] You got it, baby. What was I saying? The fans? Yeah. The ones we met one-on-one were cool, usually. They had deep thoughts about the show, you know? Ideas about the characters, the plots—filled in holes in the shitty writing. No offense to Jack and Reuben, I hope! Don’t print that, Pat.

If I’m being honest, having to answer their questions made me think deeply about the role. That’s stayed with me. I don’t like being walked up on in public, but sometimes it’d go fine. The first time someone came up to me in the wild, her mother looked so fucking apologetic that I decided, “Cool it, don’t be a jackass.” She wanted to talk about the book I was buying. Same thing would happen to Frank, Perry, Vicky. How about the show itself? That was a three year commitment.

It was alright. In retrospect, I understand that television isn’t for respectable actors, which made the transition hard. Harder to have been on a show for teenagers. But, you made that switch in Uspana. So, did that play into the calculus at all? I lucked out, in the sense that the show was co-produced, and I got to do the dubbing for the Uspanian version. I wasn’t a total unknown, even if they thought my Uspanian was shitty. Is it? Losing an accent is hard, in my defense.

When my contract ended, I hit the road. You didn’t think about staying on? I thought about it with horror, yes. [Laughs] You’d keep shit-talking the whole production if I let you. Maybe. So, in Uspana? It was like exhaling for the first time in a while. I did nothing for a couple months. All that hard work, being a beloved TV star … Throw me a bone, Pat. But, anyway, I didn’t even see my mom’s family again for a few weeks—You knew them, though? Yeah, we’d met, during the press trips. Beach life by yourself. Luxury.

You know, I needed to reconnect with myself. That’s how I felt. I felt like I had been an imposter, then I felt like I had to be someone I wasn’t, and now … You could go a different way. A fork in the road, for your career. Your life, really. Right, yeah. I went to Canarís like any good tourist. I had more money than I’d ever had in my life. I had no plans. Sounds like a dream. It was.

Crucially, I was out of my mind most of the time. Kite high. So fucking high. I swear I almost drowned twice, at which point it was politely suggested that I stop using the pool. Did you politely agree? Fuck no. [Laughs] Troublemaking aside, I ended up taking phone calls, making plans with people—Industry people? Yeah. There were people I knew already, but meeting the ones I really wanted to work with happened kind of organically—parties, premieres for other films, cafes. At the Morningstar Cafe in Canarís? Right, exactly. Same way I ended up finding The Den. Someone at the cafe had worked with Karolina Teague, and she took me there one evening after we all got tossed out of some poor son of a bitch’s house. Sounds rowdy. Can’t blame him. It was after midnight. And? Well, it was a lunch that’d started at eleven in the morning, so. [Chuckles]

So, I have a question. You’re pretty consistent—in terms of behavior. “Behavior?” [Snorts] Yeah, okay, I understand. What was that like, with cameras on you? The photographers in Uspana definitely aren’t less aggressive. That’s part of it. I don’t know if I’d call it an epiphany, but I left Canarís for Nakawe with the understanding that I was going to just do what I wanted to do. Oh boy. Within reason, fuck. Reason. Sure, yes. You didn’t feel like a dumb kid anymore. I mean, I guess I have more fun with the camera guys here. They can get away with more, ergo, so can we.

I distinctly recall you got arrested for—I barely touched that guy or his fucking camera. Did him a favor, if I did. Dogshit quality device. [Chuckles] Not sure he saw it that way, but the charges were dropped. I mean, don’t get me wrong, shouldn’t have reacted that way. I kept thinking about my mom seeing those pictures … The one time I got picked up, she backhanded me in the middle of the station, right in front of the cops. Jesus. In the car, she goes, “If you get caught again, I’m going to rip your ears off.” Empty threat, I guess.

The Den—I want to talk about that. Please, let’s. Your first time there? It was with Karolina, like I said, and there was a local band playing that night. They’d wrapped up their set by the time we arrived and were just … jamming on the stage, taking feedback and requests from the people who were still there. Some kind of funky jazz mash-up. I liked it. How did it come to you? It opened in ‘57 as a bar and, at some point, it turned into more of a music venue open to a certain segment of Nakawe. The guy who owned it gave exposure to a lot of people who went on to really do something with their art, and that’s why it ended up being a somewhat exclusive spot. Celebrities already knew it and brought their friends. Uh huh. I could stroll up, and the cameras weren’t with me because they were already there. He got tired of that, I think—He was an older fella, right? Yeah. But, really, he managed other properties, and The Den wasn’t his passion project the way it’s become for me. So, you had the money and took it off his hands.

What goes on in there? [Laughs] Pat, you’ve been inside. Well, not for me! If I’m going to describe it to people who’ll never go inside, what would I say? I mean, it’s a hangout spot. It’s a performance venue. We had, uh, mimes last month. Truly gifted, those people. [Laughs] Really? I don’t come up with all of the ideas myself, but I only agree to the shit I’m interested in. It’s kind of selfish, but I guess I’m lucky to know a lot of people who’ll toss in five dollars to enjoy it. It’s something. Compelling. I mean it. Thanks. That’s not all, though. I mean, you describe it as a “haven.” It’s very private. Some of your regulars are troubled individuals. Damn, Patricia, just say it. I feel like a cop! “Do you condone drug use in your establishment?” nonsense. But, well … I’m not explaining it. Either you—they, whoever the hell—get it or don’t. Come for the music, come to unwind however you like, doesn’t fucking matter to me as long as you’re coming with an invitation. I like to go in the back room, close the door, let the music and noise seep through. Muffled. You don’t really strike me as a partier, frankly. You never have. I wouldn’t argue with that. I like parties, but I don’t need to be at the center. Some do. That’s fine. This place is for us all.

Maybe it works out because of that, that you’re curating this space but not necessarily always in it? What do you mean? Well, you reopened it and then, if memory serves, immediately went off to do a film. The party kept going. You just like to know it’s happening. Alright, sure. That’s true. Knowing it’s there … Yeah. I like it. I was in that back room, thinking about the script, when I decided to do it, actually. Life felt like it was falling into place. It was a good time to take a leap. “’You are going to be a cowboy?’” “’No, I’m going to be a farmer.’” I had that conversation a thousand times. Reporters, man. Hey! Everyone was so surprised. I think they thought the premise was … I don’t know, that it just wasn’t something I would want to do? Or, worse, that the filmmakers wouldn’t want to work with someone like me? Unflattering assumptions, sounds like. Can’t blame them. I had a lot to prove. Still do.

How was six weeks in Texict? Fucking heaven. I loved it. My mother’s from the northwest so, even when I visited family, it wasn’t anywhere close. No reason to visit until we dropped in to do the film. Every day, I woke up happy to be alive. Happy to be doing this job. Gorgeous. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess it wasn’t just the location, was it?

No, you’re right. I felt like I was really acting—for the first time, seriously. Maybe the cast helped? I’d worked with established actors before. The leads in Sugar Sweet were—well, you know who they were. I learned a ton from them. But, yeah, I guess Sasha was the first person I’d worked alongside who had me sweating. Oh? I wanted to impress her so fucking badly. I wanted to keep up, you know? So talented. So raw. She rips every line out of her chest with her bare hands. Bloodbath of emotion. The premise was new, too. Not a lighthearted romance this time. No. We were young parents of a ill child—stressed as fuck, trying to make life work, struggling separately to be together. Can’t lie, I ate that shit up. So did the critics. Hell yeah.

Every nomination felt surreal. The recognition was incredible. Validating. Sasha and some of the others swept up. I was just honored to be up there with them, honestly. Okay, well, let’s talk about Sasha. Do we have to? Yes. Indulge me! [Grumbling] I mean, all I can really say at this point is that I was obsessed, and it wasn’t until it was over that I had the clarity of mind to really wonder, hm, “Was I in love with Sasha, my coworker, or was I in love with Sasha playing Lucy, my wife?” That seems like an occupational hazard. I wouldn’t describe it that way. You take sensitive, delusional, beautiful people, pay them to get vulnerable and intimate with each other … It’s special, even if it’s … Not genuine? No, it is that. It’s not real, but it is genuine. How else can you say, “Well, our schedules don’t line up anymore, but I’ll have this scar of our initials forever?” You do not! No, I don’t. The letter S is really hard to cut without fucking up. Not a sober man’s idea. No.

Since I have you on the topic—hey, no, absolutely not—I’m obligated to ask if there’s anyone in your life right now. How’s that? Women’s magazines can snap this up and stitch it together for themselves. This is a public service. Patricia … Yes, Lorencio?

Look, I know you do your research. I do. I’m very good at it, too. What’s that like, princess pus—Pat. Pat, I’m begging you—Are you obsessed? The letter L is easier, I bet. It is. Would you go with another L or an R?

I’m not talking about this—not for you to print, anyway. Well, talk to me as a friend, then? I’m not just professionally nosy. We’re friends? Who else calls me Pat and gets away with it? You haven’t been Trish in a long time, it’s true … [Sighs] Fuck. Someone can be precious, right? Lovable. You can hold them in your hands and think, “This person matters to me. They’re special. I like to be around them; I like to listen to them; I want their affection.” You can really, genuinely cherish someone.

But? Maybe you find their life to be completely fucking repellent. Unbearable. … Damn.

There’s parallels, though, right? I mean, fame is fame, there’s got to be value in relatability, and—There’s an open mic going on downstairs in the hotel bar right this minute. Let’s take a break, Pat, what do you say? Let’s just go watch some of it. I’ll let you print dick measurements and my deepest, darkest secrets if you say yes. [Laughs] Well, if that’s on the table—

#just gonna toss in a cw #cw drugs #long post #ts4 story #sims story #sims 4 story #royal sims #simblr #ts4 legacy #1992.story.post #1992.a1 #1992.e04

[strangerthings-01]

High as a kite

Plot: When you’re over at eddies house, you watch him roll up a joint and curiosity takes over. Eddie guides you through smoking weed for the very first time.

Warnings: slight cussing, mentions of weed. (Clearly)

I’m working on kind of a long story so I’m trying to write shorter ones to keep up my page since I’ve been gone so long. I hope you enjoy, my friends. 🩷

💜💜

Almost everyday after school, you and Eddie go back to his trailer to hang out and by hang out, kissing and you know what occurs. Usually he smokes a joint or two and everytime he offers you a hit and everytime you decline. You had never smoked weed before and if you were being honest, it kind of scared you. You knew it couldn’t really hurt you but drugs has never been something you ever considered doing.

“It’s a natural plant babe. Safest one out there.” He would always reassure you but it still never wavered your concern. He never pressured though. He would ask you each time he rolled up a joint because he figured one day you night change your mind but once you said no, he would drop the subject. He was good like that. You couldn’t believe he was yours.

Eddie was naturally funny. He could always make you smile or laugh no matter what mood you were in. But when he was high, you would always be clutching your stomach from laughing so hard. He was fun to be around and wasn’t different from when he was sober. You liked that.

Your curiosity about the plant had started to grow stronger the more you were exposed to it. You wondered what you would be like high. Would you be freaked out? Happy? Giggly? Probably all of the above. So when you and Eddie were hanging out again on a Saturday night, cuddled in bed, you finally caved.

He was rolling his joint up for the night and you watched him. You were in awe at his quickness as he used his fingers to stuff it and how his tongue flitted over the paper to close it up. You chewed on your lip, anxious to tell him you wanted to try it. Once he finally finished rolling it up, his eyes met yours and a grin formed on his face. “You good baby? You look nervous and entertained at the same time.” A deep chuckle came from his throat.

Your fingers intertwined with each other, something you did when you were apprehensive. “Yeah. I think I want to try to smoke tonight.” He had looked away to grab something but when those words came out if your mouth, you had never seen him turn so fast. “Wait really? Are you sure?” You smiled and nodded, your body shifting so you were facing him completely, your legs crossed. “Yeah. I’ve been curious about it lately and it’s a Saturday so I’ll have time to sleep it off.”

He smirked and reached over to grab a lighter. He grabbed the one you got for him randomly one day. It was a white lighter and had an outline of a couple printed on it. You thought it was super cute considering you guys were together. He loved it. “I didn’t pressure you, did I? I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

You quickly reassured him. “No no of course not. But I am really nervous. What if I freak out?” He reached over and rubbed you knee. “I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Despite your foreboding, there was no one else you could trust more than him. “Okay.” You stated in finality. “Fuck yeah baby girl. I’m happy you’re giving it a try.” Even though he tried his best not to sound too excited, you could tell he was. You knew he had been wanting you to try it.

He put the joint in his mouth and lit the other end, inhaling. You watched the lit side got brighter as he smoked and the smoke that released from his mouth. “It will make you cough since you haven’t done it before so make sure you take deep breaths when that happens. It will get worse if you panic. I do also have a cup of water on the table.”

“Okay.” You gently took the joint from his hand and glanced down at it, not sure how to approach it. “Some people inhale straight to the back of their throat but since you’re new, I would suck it into your cheeks and then inhale so it isn’t as harsh.” You took in his advice and put it up to your mouth. You did as he said and then finally Inhaled and exhaled, the smoke blowing in all different directions. You immediately started coughing which was uncomfortable but you made sure to breathe and it went away pretty quickly.

He had watched you the whole time and he looked proud which made you want to laugh. “The taste is so gross.” He laughed and shrugged. “It does but you get used to it. You did good.” You leaned over and kissed him, his response was immediate. “Thank you for being patient and so kind.” He kissed your cheek and gently took it back from you. “I love you. I’d never make you feel rushed or dumb about something.”

After a couple of hits, you started feeling dizzy and lightheaded. The room felt like it was spinning and nothing felt real. Your thoughts were so loud almost like someone was speaking words into your ears. You swore you could hear things outside, far away yet close. Everything felt heightened. You didn’t know why you felt so panicked or why there was so much pressure in your head. “Eddie?” You said softly trying not to freak out. He looked up from his phone and looked over at you. “Yeah? What’s up babe?” You placed a hand on your head and sighed heavily. “I feel so off. My head is spinning or the-the room is?”

He placed his phone besides his pillow not bothering to turn it off as he scooted closer to you. He wrapped an arm around you and stroked you arm, a comforting gesture. “It’s okay. You’re high sweetheart. This is normal.” You looked up at him and took a deep breath. “I’m high? Why does it feel like this?” He couldn’t help but release a soft laugh as he continued his soft touch on your arm. “Because you aren’t used to it. Your brain doesn’t understand what’s going on. Do you want some water?”

You cleared your throat and suddenly realized your mouth was super dry. How did he know that’s what you needed. “How did you-“ He cut you off as he stood up to the grab the water from the table. “Oh baby I’ve been smoking since 7th grade. Trust me. I just know.” You giggled even though it probably wasn’t as funny as it seemed in the moment. He still cracked a smile as he handed you the water. You sipped on it and felt the wet substance coat your mouth. He sat back down and took the glass from you when you were done.

After a couple minutes of silence, you started giggling and your hand went over your mouth. He scrunched his eyebrows as his face turned into a look of amusement. “What’s so funny?” You continued to laugh, a sound that was so contagious to him. “I don’t even know. I think I thought of something but I forgot.” He laughed along with you and shook his head. “You are something else pretty girl.”

You looked over at him and a sudden look of seriousness crossed your features. “You’re so beautiful. I love you.” Before he could respond, you gasped ever so slightly. “I’m hungry.” He snorted and bit his lip. “God you’re everything. Let’s go get you some food.”

You stood up immediately feeling a little wobbly but you gained your footing pretty quickly. “I could eat a mountain of food.” You stated as you walked with Eddie to the kitchen. He chuckled and slapped your ass as they started looking in the fridge for something to eat to satiate the munchies. “Oh I know. We better get a bunch of snacks and bring them back to the room. We’re gonna be here for a while.”

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie x you #hellfire club #eddiemunsonclingy

[caranfindel]

Because it’s Sam Winchester’s birthday, and I’m in a mood to talk about how much he is loved, and because I watched Exodus on TNT yesterday, I’m repeating what I said on LJ long ago…

Dean's not stupid. He's not really afraid of his brother committing suicide, but he does know that Sam isn't afraid of death, that he welcomes it to some extent, that if the Devil had given him any real choice in the matter, Sam would have gone gentle into that good night and Dean never would have known there'd been any other option. Dean knows that as much as Sam wants to be here for Jack and Mary (and himself), having that bestowed on him by Lucifer is, in many ways, the worst thing that could happen to him, because Lucifer never gives with one hand without taking away with the other. But Dean also finds it hard to care as much as he should about the worst thing happening to Sam, because Dean just lived through the worst thing that could happen to him, and Sam? Sam can deal.

And Dean feels guilty, maybe, because he prayed for this. He prayed to Chuck and Amara, prayed and begged, please, he deserves better, please, I can't do this, please, and when Sam walked into the camp his first thought was that maybe they'd actually listened, maybe one of them had brought him back, and even now he wonders.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, after all.

(Dean will always wonder, but he’ll never regret.)

And now Sam's standing here, blood-splattered, reeking of shame and remorse, but alive, Christ, and Dean can't imagine what he's apologizing for. For bringing Lucifer to the camp? As if he wouldn't have found it on his own? For dying? For allowing Lucifer to resurrect him? It's incomprehensible. Dean doesn't have to go dig his little brother's cold ravaged corpse out of a vampire den, he doesn't have to carry him home and burn him, he doesn't have to go on with the rest of his life knowing how badly he failed him once again. Yes, he should care about how awful this is for Sam, but he can't, because Sam's alive and God forgive him (Sam forgive him) because he doesn't care how or why. Just doesn't fucking care.

So when Sam says I'm alive he says then you got nothing to apologize for, because nothing else matters.

#exodus #sam winchester #dean winchester #brothers #i love them so much #spn #supernatural #meta #happy birthday sam winchester

[wihellib]

12 Wants For WHB

Disclaimer: This is completely my opinion and you are free to disagree. I am also not a game dev, so I do not know how easy or difficult these things would be to implement in game. Though, I have played a lot of gacha games, and many of the things I want do feature in other games, so I don’t think anything I say here is too unrealistic.

With that out of the way, here are some things that I want added or changed in WHB in no particular order. This is not an exhaustive list, but still ended up being way longer than I initially thought it would be.

Text Messages

I would like the bug that makes chats disappear to be fixed.

Chat replayability. You can already replay L Card chats, so I don’t think it would be too hard to implement that for regular chats.

Change chat time gate so that it works when the app is closed. Currently, you can only get a new text message after you spend 30 minutes in the app. I find this very annoying. I’m fine with waiting 30 minutes but I want to be able to close the app in the meantime. So, my idea is, once you log in for the day, the countdown starts even if you close the app, then once you open the app after 30 min you can read the chat, then the next countdown starts and so on and so forth.

Voice Calls

We don’t have these currently in the game, but I think any gacha game with a phone feature should have them included. This could implemented in a few ways. They could tie them to L Cards. Or it could be we get a new call like once a month or something. Then, maybe, some calls for special occasions like your birthday, his birthday, the launch anniversary, etc.

Home Page

It would be nice if we could change the expression on the demon’s face that we put on the home page. We can unlock expressions as we increase likability for the demons, so I’d like to be able to see those expressions on the home page.

They said at one point they’ll allow us to change the Satan icon on the Secret Club to different demons, which will be nice and I hope they implement that soon.

Artifacts

Better organization. I want to be able to organize by the same artifact, so I can easily see how many I have of each specific artifact.

Increased storage. Let us store more than 200 artifacts. I like to have lots of artifacts for fodder for other artifacts.

Weekly achievement. I think the achievement of raising artifacts by 20 levels each week is excessive. I keep having to raise artifacts that I’ll never use just to complete this achievement and it’s wasteful. Either reduce the number of levels needed or get rid of the achievement and replace it by an achievement for playing panty party or something like that.

Gacha

They recently changed it so you have a slightly increased rate for the demon that you pick on the gacha screen. This is nice, but I would prefer it if the increased rate was like 5% because the current 1% really is a negligible difference.

I would like banners of general pool L cards that use red keys, not solomon seals. Maybe they last a week twice a month or something like that. For example, Attacker Levi could be featured at the start of the month. That card and his artifact are the only L items that can be pulled from that banner. Using red keys, after 110 total pulls, you are guaranteed his artifact and, after 220 total pulls, you are guaranteed his card. This banner lasts a week. Then there is no banner for a week. Then, for example, Attacker Beel has a banner the third week. Then no banner, etc. I would also like the pity to carry over between these theoretical red key banners.

Currently, we can skip the entire gacha animation and pulled character showcase, if we didn’t pull an S rank or above. I want to be able skip it no matter what, unless I pull an L character.

Currently, the gacha animation flashes gold when you get an L Card or L artifact. I would prefer for the L artifact to flash a different colour, like pink for example. I’ve gotten my hopes up too many times seeing gold, thinking I got an L card, and then being disappointed as I instead got Satan’s hair for the 20th time.

Action Power

I would like to be able to come back at certain times of the day, for example, 12pm and 6pm, and get like 50 AP each time. This is a feature in many other gacha games.

I would also like the ability to watch ads for more AP. I know some people are against this type of thing, but I really don’t mind it as long as it’s not mandatory and is non-intrusive.

Translation

The translation is very poor compared to most other gacha games. There’s odd English syntax, a lot of typos, and seemingly missing words. I don’t even know what the characters are trying to convey at times and it really takes me out of the story. So I want them to hire some good English translators. If I could only get one thing on this list implemented into the game, it would be this.

Also I want them to do better about making sure to use the correct pronouns for the MC.

Panty Party

I feel like this feature could be improved a lot. Bring back gold panties in every level. Remove gold from the item list. Gold panties can give you advanced candy choice chest, whole pie choice chest, red keys, or solomon seals. Normal panties can give you beginners / intermediate candy choice chest, slice pie choice chest, pretzels, and gold keys. Also if you fail a level, you can choose to watch an ad to continue from that level if you want.

Events

I’m glad that they added quick plays to events.

The event tab needs to be separated from all other tabs, to always be easily able to select it. It was cumbersome when the Leraye event tab was combined with the limited achievement tab, lucifer gacha tab, and event replay tab. It would constantly switch between each tab, and you’d have to take extra time to switch back to the event tab.

For event replays, currently they cost a small amount to buy to replay. But as more and more events are added, that will be unsustainable. I think if you play an event, then for a certain amount of event currency you can purchase an event replay ticket to be redeemed later. If you didn’t play the event, then there can be other ways to get event replay tickets.

I do think it is a good idea to use events to flesh out the universe and tell important stories pre-MC to not bog down the main story. However, I would like it if some of the events were MC focused. I would love to know more about how we’re adapting to Hell and interacting with others when we’re not being constantly forced to keep moving forward by the main story.

Pies

We need to have a way to farm pie slices and whole pies. I’m surprised the game has been out this long and they still haven’t introduced a way for us to get them more easily.

The amount of pie slices we need to increase a characters skills from level 4 to level 5 is 60, which is beyond excessive. I also don’t get why the jump between the amount of pies needed is so large. Going from needing 0 pies at level 4 to 60 pies at level 5 is odd game design. So, I think it should be reduced to 30 pies slices at most. For level 8, it should be 60 whole pies at most, not 160.

Characters

Another odd game choice is that the S characters need the exact same amount of materials to level up as the L characters. This doesn’t make sense as the S characters are generally less valuable gameplay-wise than the L ones. So why would I waste my precious resources on them, when for the same amount I could raise a much better L unit. Having S characters cost less than the L ones gives incentive to level them up.

This one is the least likely to ever happen, but I’d like for the A+ characters to have likeability rewards. It’s really nice being able to hear voice lines, change the expressions, and get some info on the S/L characters. I’d like to be able to do that for the A+ characters. Yes, it has been confirmed that A+ characters can get L versions, so then they would have expressions/voice lines available in that case. However, there’s no guarantee every single A+ rank will get an L version, and even if they did that could be years in the future. So I would like A+ characters to have a likeability section, but, to balance it out, the item rewards you get from them could be half of the S/L characters. For example, instead of 50 gold keys for a node, you get 25.

Miscellaneous

When they conduct maintenance, I’d like for them to give us more than just some AP. As an example, if they did maintenance for 2 hours, they should compensate us with 2 red keys, or 20 solomon seals.

I’d like to be able to quick play battles in the story chapters. If not unlimited, then at least 5 quick plays a day.

There’s a bug that places me at the beginning of a story chapter instead of where I should be at the end (the node to farm the candy chests). Then I have to scroll all the way to the end which actually takes quite a bit of time. I don’t know if this is affecting anyone else but it is affecting me and it’s annoying so I want it fixed.

When promoting a character or levelling up their skills above level 4 or completing a node on the unholy board that requires Solomons tears, pies or candies, I would like a window that pops up that asks if we’re sure that we want to consume those materials. I misclicked a few times, and that is a lot of resources to waste by accident. So I would like a pop up window to help prevent this.

With all that said, I truly like the premise of this game, the character designs, the VA performances, the art by Nori and the fact that this is an 18+ game aimed at men-loving people, which is a very rare thing. So I am glad it exists and hope that it succeeds. The wants I’ve listed here are just things that would increase my enjoyment even more.

#what in hell is bad #whb #what in “hell” is bad? #prettybusy what in “hell” is bad? #prettybusy what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad?

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

May 2nd

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1. I'm trying to re-find a fic that is a bit of a crossover between TGCF and MDZS but with Wei Wuxian reincarnated as Xie Lian with all of his memories intact, Lan Wangji was reincarnated as Hua Cheng but didn't have memories of his past life. Hua Cheng, Mu Qing, Feng Xin later reacts to Xie Lian's past life as Wei Wuxian after an accident. I'm really searching for this fic everywhere but I can't find it:: It's totally fine if you can recommend anything close to what I'm looking for if possible ^^ @daily333

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2. Hi, thank you so much for offering this service. It’s certainly appreciated!

I wanted to find two fics if that is okay.

A) The plot of the first fic: LWJ is a controversial singer. He’s known for his explicit music videos, and is openly gay. I think the fic author was representing the mindset of early 2000’s. His manager is Jiāng Yanli, they both bonded over WWX, who’s presumed dead but is missing. It’s also LWJ fucks. He has sex with various people, one of them being his background dancer but he doesn’t date anyone because he’s in love with WWX. WWX is actually living in hiding, (from Meng Yao). He returns and LWJ and him get together. There’s a whole car chase scene as well when he goes back to get Yuan and the rest of the Wens with Jiang Cheng.

B) The second fic, I don’t remember much from it except a scene that’s been nagging me. It’s a WangXian getting back together fic. Basically WWX returns and while LWJ doesn’t give into him right away, they still end up getting back together. LWJ had a hard time with WWX leaving. The scene that I’m referring to is in which Lwj comes home, and wwx mentions to him he and LXC spoke. LWJ panics because he’s afraid wwx will leave him again and I recall the dialogue being something along the lines of

“No, he had no right” or “he doesn’t get to take you away from me again” he starts crying I think.

WWX calms him down by saying he’s never leaving him again no matter what, even if LXC wouldn’t approve he doesn’t care for others and the only one who matters is LWJ.

Thats about it. Thank you for all your hard work! Xx

2A)

FOUND? always on my mind by sami (E, 42k, WangXian, LWJ/Other(s), LWJ & JYL, Modern, references to past Lan Wangji/others, references to past WWX/WQ, Family, Sexual Tension, set in the early 90s, Grief, Erratic Gay Superstar Musician LWJ, life is what happens in the in between, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Children, Pregnancy, not mpreg, Parenthood, Music Videos, LWJ's Gremlin Tendencies, WWX's Gremlin Tendencies, Drag, Daytime Television, Bitches Get Things Done, fictional daytime talk shows, Q&A, Slice of Life, Awards, shows, any resemblance between OCs and real people living or dead are coincidental, Communication, and how LWJ is bad at it, LWJ's weirdly wholesome kink inclinations, LWJ's aggressively artistic musical career, References to Major Character Death, Celebrity stuff)

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3. I read this ff one time from sizhui pov. it’s essentially about lwj in mourning clothes during wwx death . he’s commenting on the color of the robes being white and how there’s no blue. I have never been able to find it again. it;s short, maybe one or two chapters.

I do remember a scene where sizhui asks Lxc about the robes and xichen responds “he used to wear blue, sizhui, like me” — may not be the exact quote but something similar.

Thanks yall! @chenqingmagic

FOUND? In all these shades of blue (I think we found you) by Fleetling (T, 5k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, LSZ & LJY, LXC & LWJ, LXC & LSZ, 5+1 Things, LSZ pov, kinda sad at times bc wwx is dead for most of it, LSZ's childhood, LSZ growing up, LSZ isn't stupid he worked out who his father lost long before wwx came back, LJY is a Good Friend, LXC is a good uncle ok, the juniors get wangxian together at the end, minor injuries and blood but better than canon, a reflection on LWJ's clothing from the pov of LSZ)

FOUND? Revolution by mrcformoso (T, 8k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, LSZ/LJY, Light Angst, Happy Ending, POV LSZ, Found Family, Toxic Elders, Fatherhood, Growing Up, The Lan Juniors, LSZ's parents suffered, And so he starts a revolution, Bringing about change, LWJ Adopts LSZ; WWX is LSZ's Parent, LSZ is a polite menace, Hanguang-jun raised an army of Lan rebels, and we're here for it, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, only the ending because we all hate the untamed edning, Good Uncle WN)

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4. Hi so i was looking for a wangxian fic it was a non modern mpreg fic where wwx got pregnant and had to visit some physical whom he became like friends with and lwj and lqr were there too, I honestly don't think it was omegaverse. Sorry this is all i remember but i do remember one rough line from the fic which was a convo b/w lwj, wwx and the physician the physician was asking lwj and wwx about their sex life and how often they do it so lwj responded with everyday and then the physician asked if he pulls out or smth but lwj said no i hope u can find it :> (sorry for lack of details) @monochromo

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5. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic where it's a modern au and wei wuxian gets ill when fierce corpses start spreading (almost like an apocalypse) and he gets accused of it. He ends up doing a video call (I think) with other sect leaders to explain how demonic cultivation works so they can stop the apocalypse. I know that lan wangji takes care of wei wuxian while he's sick if that helps. Thank you !!

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6. So I’m trying to find this fix where the wens we’re going to sacrifice themselves and Wen Qing throws her needles at Wèi wuxian but he like stops them somehow and is angry(?) and he creates like a impenetrable(?) barrier and keeps the there. @candyyii

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7. Fic Finder ask here, I’m looking for a fic set in the cloud recesses study arc era, it’s cannon divergent and WWX & LWJ get together during cloud recesses, I think they’re engaged as well. This fic is also a long fic. The only concrete scene I can place to this fic was WWX & LWJ having horny teen semi clothed sex in the woods where WWX is on LWJ’s lap and they’re found by NHS who clearly thinks he just walked in on them kissing and thought it was fine for them to be doing that, he just felt awkward walking in on them doing it. (So this is another point into the maybe they’re married of fiancés @ that moment in the story) I can’t remember the name of the fic, and it’s haunting me.

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8. I’m looking for a yiling wei sect au that had wen cheng’s girlfriend as a double agent helping to end the war, and she ended up with wen Qing. @sentient-halloween-candy

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9. Hi, does anyone remember seeing a fic where lwj shows up on wwx's doorstep out of the blue. They hadn't seen each other in a while & lwj escaped from somewhere, like he was being kept in a lab maybe for experimenting & went straight to wwx for help. I think it might have been b/c he was pregnant, maybe it was an a/b/o fic?

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10. I'm looking for a particular fic- I think an arranged marriage/immortal Wei Wuxian au, wherein he saved Luo Qingyang, Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji from the Xuanwu cave, then returned them to the clans a while later and asked for/orchestrated Lan Wangji's hand in marriage? Thank you @kedaliya

FOUND? inevitable everything by isabilightwood (E, 193k, WangXian, MM/WQ, JYL/JZX, BSSR/LY, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, but WWX is BSSR's disciple/adoptive grandson too, the cultivation sects think this is a, War Prize AU, it's actually self-arranged marriage, Arranged Marriage, yin iron shenanigans, LWJ Has Friends, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, LWJ Has a Yiling Laozu Kink, Switch WangXian, BDSM, Submissive LWJ, Dominant WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, magical illness of a side character (who will get better), Rope Bondage, Impact Play, Rimming, Bottom LWJ, Temperature Play, Face-Fucking, Breathplay, (talisman-based breathplay to be specific), Cock Warming, Public Scene, no one gets naked in public this is the sense of wwx invents the, Remote Controlled Vibrator, Semi-Public Sex, Outdoor Sex, Blindfolds, one qingmian smut scene with oral and fingering, Minor Character Death, All Sex Scenes Are Skippable!)

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11. Hello! Im trying to find a fix it fic where wei ying dresses as a lady and ends up faking his death with the help of jiang yanli and jiang cheng. A significant moment i remember is that jin guangshan tries to come onto him before jin zixuan intervenes. If you could help me find it, id be very grateful!

FOUND? FOUND? Wei Wuxian, Who’s That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels)

~*~

12. Hi! For Fic Finder: I am looking for a canon-era fic where Wei Wuxian was some kind of god or divine being and the thing I remember is that he had to bond with a demon/beast-man to balance his divinity(?). Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan came to him as an example of one such duo: Song Lan was the demon half and he explained that the demons make a contract with the god to protect the god in life and then the demon gets to eat the god’s body after death. The thought of getting eaten scared WWX. I am pretty sure this fic took place during the Sunshot Campaign because WWX was fighting through some war and he was unbalanced because he hadn’t found his other half. I could also have this flip flopped and maybe LWJ was the divine one and WWX was the demon half? If anyone remembers this fic I would love to find it again! Thank you!

Hi again, I just sent in a fic finder ask about a divine WWX having to bond with a demon? I think I might have gotten two fics confused: a war fic and a religion fic. WWX might have been taken to a monastery and raised there as a mythic figure that the other sects come on pilgrimage to worship, and he is raised being told he has to bond with a dark spirit? Sorry for the mix up, but could you please add this to my previous ask? If the fics are one and the same, great! If they are two separate, does anyone recognize them? Thanks again! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND? So You Accidentally Kidnapped A Qilin by Mikkeneko (T, 83k, WangXian, Juuni Kokki | Twelve Kingdoms Fusion, mdm yu’s a+ parenting, Identity Issues, Cultivator Politics, Yin Iron Poisoning, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, WWX Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Getting Together, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending, Pacifist WWX, MXTX Big Bang 2021)

~*~

13. Hi, I once read this amazing mdzs fic on ao3 in which whole lan clan wasn't human, they were some kind of aliens I think, it was a secret. I would love to read it again but I can't find it @iknowitsgonnabelonely

~*~

14. looking for a fic where wangxian are already in an arranged marriage thats set in modern day. wei ying had a huge crush on lan zhan but on the wedding gay he thinks he hears lan zhan confess his feelings for someone else. this causes him to be unable to relax during sex

FOUND? A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, Sex is complicated, Angst, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions)

~*~

15. Hi, thank you for all you do! I’m looking for a fic where WWX is feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders - I think he went back in time and was trying to fix things by himself - and the jiangs weren’t great but then WWX has a breakdown in the courtyard and was like, I’m so tired, I can’t do this anymore, and even madame yu softens at that when they realize the burdens he was carrying and he starts to get support going forward. @vi-sky

FOUND? 🧡 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 207k, WIP, WangXian, characters watching their show, characters watching the future, Time Travel Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Self-Harm, fluff, Angst, LWJ best husband, WWX needs all the love and hugs in the world, and he gets it, WWX Protection Squad, The juniors are literally the light of the show, WQ best sister, YZY & JFM will realize what an absolute shit they’ve been, Character Development, Sentient Burial Mounds, Everyone Lives AU, Except the people who deserve to)

~*~

16. hello there, i'm trying to find a fic where wwx and sizhui were both kidnapped together but lwj found them through tailsmans (i think) then wwx tells lwj that those bad people touched him and lwj gets mad (or possessive ig) thank you!

~*~

17. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic I read where in the present day Lan Huan & Lan Zhan are at a cultivation conference. They're walking back to their hotel when ancient fantasy China Wei Ying falls out of nothing and lands on the pavement right in front of them. It turns out, Wei Ying fell off the cliff at Nightless City but instead of dying, he somehow ended up 600 years into the present. I remember that the Lan brothers immediately help him - he's fascinated & freaked out by modern life at first (both the hotel elevator & modern plumbing in particular). Um, a lot of cultivation history has been lost over time & i think WY helps with that. I also remember it turns out that Lan Zhan is the reincarnation of original LZ. I think that several other characters were reincarnated also & Mo Xuanyu is another person who somehow time-traveled to the present. I know it ended up Wangxian. I think there's a sequel where they eventually adopt A-Yuan & a little girl who is Yanli reincarnated. Please help! I can't remember the fic name & all my keyword searching hasn't worked out.

Thanks very much! @emrinalex

FOUND? 忘不了你的爱 (can’t forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending)

~*~

18. Hi! i have been trying to look for a fic that I forgot for quite a while. The thing is, i am not sure if it is a threadfic OR an ao3 fic. The only thing that I could remember was wwx and lwj was travelling together, possibly on a honeymoon after their wedding; arrange marriage. or they could just be going on a night hunt ToT the biggest premise of this was that lwj was undeniable attracted to wwx and took a peek of him while bathing and wwx was so smug because he knew he would look. @freshmilk-00

~*~

19. Okay so there's a fic I read when I first got into MDZS about two years ago and the memory of it suddenly hit me like a truck and I /need/ to reread but I cannot, for the life of me, find it. I've gone through what feels like 100 pages of my history on a03 without luck so here I am. Okay, as far I can remember, It was still a WIP when I read it roughly two years ago, but that was two years ago so I could be wrong. Anyway, it was a time travel fic but /not/ because of canon events.

However, it was canon complacent. Basically, sometime after the end of the series, there was some really bad demonic (?) event that killed most of the world, including LWJ. WWX hadn't reached immortality but he had reached the next level of cultivation, and therefore now had a perfect memory. I know there was one scene where he realized he'd hit that breakthrough (and I think broke down?) because he was recreating the ancestral plates of the Lan and realized he knows every name even if he shouldn't.

Anyway, in this future, the remaining cultivators are able to link together to sort of super boost their cultivation? (Idk if that's the best description) and tie it to both Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, who send their consciousnesses back in time to... I think it's when they were at the Gusu lectures. (I do not remember if this was novel or cql verse).

They gather the world (Minus Wen Ruohan and his people) to tell the story of the future but using titles people wouldn't yet have (like Yiling Patriarch. Ghost General. Headshaker. Lianfang-zun as examples) to tell the story without giving away identities (Though Wen Ning does introduce himself as the Ghost General at some point during that, giving away that identity). There's also truth talisman they wear while telling the story to prove its all true. Anyway I know this is long but I figured the more details I remembered, the better. Even if it is still WIP I just wanna reread what's there so badly.

FOUND? If You Forget Me by DivideTheSorrow (Not Rated, 189k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, YZY/JFM, WIP, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, Relationship(s), Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, Original Character(s), Angst)

~*~

20. hellooo! hope you all are having a good day<33 I'm looking for a fic where wwx is cursed to not see people unless he believes they love them (?) I remember that the juniors were there and so was lwg and jc. thank you <33 @val-ley

FOUND? See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX’s Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

[msbigredmachine]

New To This - Chapter 4

MASTERLIST

-------------

The alarm on her phone had never sounded so loud before. Ever. It was a battle for Delilah to untangle herself from the sheets, grope around the bed for the pesky phone and disable the offensive sound. Cracking one eye open, then cringing at how bright the phone screen was, she glanced at the time and groaned. Five-thirty already? Jesus.

Throwing the sheets off of herself, Delilah struggled to blink her eyes against the darkness as she ran down her mental morning checklist, which mainly consisted of excuses to remain in the comfort of her bed. She’d been doing so ever since she began her training as a wrestler, but no matter how she tried, nothing seemed to be ever good enough, especially when she had two jobs awaiting her each day. And speaking of…the feel of the air conditioning against her skin reminded her that the light bill had to be paid in some form or the other, and soon.

Rolling out of bed, she winced as her feet touched the floor. The smoke had cleared and every muscle in her body now ached from her match the night before. Every ache would be worth it though, if she could experience the same exhilarating feeling she did in the aftermath – the applause, the plaudits, the attention. She only wished her husband-to-be didn’t have to fuck it all up last night by bringing her crashing back down to earth.

In all honesty, inviting Tank and Jey to her home after her match  had been a deliberate act on her part. Part of her had wanted Andre to be happy for her, and to realize that other people supported her. But deep down, another part just wanted revenge for all of the late-night boys’ nights he and his friends had shared while she herself was trying to get some rest. She really wanted to feel guilty for being selfish and retaliating, but after the way he’d disrespected her last night, feeling bad was a hard sell for her right now.

She tensed up when she heard the bathroom door open. His footsteps were soft and cautious, and as he appeared in front of her looking haggard in ragged jeans and a flannel shirt, he was rubbing his hand over his face. “Mornin’,” he mumbled, raising his tired eyes to hers and cringing at her angry expression. “Look…about last night,” he started.

“Ugh, here we go,” she rolled her eyes, wincing a little as she hauled her aching body off the bed and stood upright.

Andre followed her every move, his shoulders sagged dejectedly. “Babe, I’m tryna apologize here.”

“Oh really! Apologize for what exactly?” she demanded, “Not being there for me, or humiliating me in front of the two people who cared enough to come see my match, one of whom, by the way, is a big name in the company I could only dream of being a part of one day. Which is it, huh?”

“Dee, come on…”

Shaking her head, she turned and limped out of the bedroom and toward the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator, grabbing ingredients to set about making a sandwich for herself. None for Andre, hell no. She was more than mad at him right now. Plus, he was capable of fixing his own breakfast.

She heard footsteps a few minutes later, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Andre approaching the kitchen cautiously. He stood next to her, his sheepish expression a stark contrast to her irritated one. “Baby, I’m sorry. I was a dick,” he began, not taking his eyes off of her. “I was tired and cranky and wasn’t thinking rationally. Please forgive me.”

Delilah felt her stomach plummet when she noticed his bottom lip quivering. He knew what that did to her. He pinned her with those heartbreaking brown eyes of his, which shone with emotion, and she felt her heart thaw just a little bit. Sighing, she grabbed a couple of bread slices to make another sandwich. Shaking her head, she said, “I knew you’d be in bed, tired from work. I shouldn’t have brought them here so late.”

Squinting against the harsh fluorescent light overhead, Andre’s brows furrowed. “So that was the Jey Uso guy, huh?” Delilah nodded, handing him his sandwich as he cringed. “He’s a big dude.”

The wrestler-in-training took a bite of her sandwich, considering the goofy expression on his face and marveling at how attractive he was right at this moment. “He is. And probably pissed off too,” she added. “But don’t worry, I’ll see if I can work something out with him and Tank,” she winked.

“Yeah, I’d appreciate it,” Andre chuckled. From there, a comfortable silence reigned as the couple settled down to have breakfast, each of them stealing secretive glances when the other wasn’t looking. Again, all seemed to be well. The calm manner in which they settled conflicts was something they’d both come to recognize as a key component of their relationship. Sometimes though, Delilah wished she knew how to remain angry with him. Maybe that way, he’d take her more seriously and stop shoving things under the rug like he tended to do a lot.

“So, two hundred dollars, huh? That’s a lot of money you made last night,” Andre commented, wiping stray mayonnaise from his mouth with the corner of his sleeve. “Any idea on how you’re gonna spend it?”

She did have an idea, but she was a bit surprised that he was asking. “Well, I split it in two; one part should be enough for the light bill,” she explained, “I confirmed that the deposit for the hall we’re renting for the wedding is covered, so we good on that front. I’m goin’ grocery shopping after my shift. It’ll be fresh foods for us this time, no canned stuff,” she added with a grin. “And if you’re lucky enough, Mr. Gibson, you might just get a nice, juicy steak for dinner.“

Licking his lips, Andre rubbed his hands together. "Hmm, that sounds like a plan, my love,” he said, checking his watch, then grabbing his car keys from the counter and moving towards his wife-to-be. Delilah was taken by surprise as he scooped her lips with his, seemingly determined to savor her delicious taste before he ventured off for the day. 

“I love you, babe,” he murmured against her lips, his calloused hands leaving her slender waist to squeeze her backside. “It’s Dee & Dre forever, you know that right?”

Delilah squealed lightly, pushing him away and handing him his backpack. “I love you too. Dee & Dre forever,” she repeated, grinning when he kissed her one more time. She watched as he headed towards the front door. Then, he stopped and turned, a small smile on his gorgeous face.

“I’m glad you did well last night. This wrestling thing might not be so bad, ya know,” he said, the sincerity in his eyes making Delilah swoon inside.

“Thanks,” she accepted the compliment with a blush, staring at the door as it shut behind him. Clearly Andre was having a change of heart. Maybe he would come around after all.

By the time she finished cleaning up the kitchen, Delilah’s body was crying out for her bed. She had only a few more hours to get some sleep before she had to be at the grocery store for her first job of the day. As her head hit her bed once again, she dreamed of replacing her rather meager paycheck for the much larger one she was guaranteed to receive as a WWE Superstar.

Seven a.m. rolled around faster than five did, and this time, it was the ringing of her phone that woke her up. Groggy and annoyed, she answered. “Hello?”

“Mornin’ baby girl. Did I wake you?”

Squinting, Delilah stared at the unidentified number on her phone, wracking her still sleepy brain for the owner of the deep, unfamiliar baritone voice. Putting her phone back to her ear, she demanded, “Who is this?”

“Damn girl, did you lose my number already?” the deep, yet soft voice responded teasingly. 

Heaving a sigh of relief as her brain finally sparked to life, Delilah slumped back against the pillows. "Jesus, Josh. You kinda scared me. What’s with the sexy creepy mystery voice this early in the morning?”

"Hmm, you think I’m sexy, huh?”

The mischievous tone of his voice reemerged, and Delilah shook her head and sighed. “Homie, I said sexy and creepy,” she reminded him. “That ain’t no compliment. That’s like being compared to a stalker. Or a serial killer.”

This time, Josh laughed out loud. “What the fuck kinda analogy is that? I ain’t never had no female compare me to a stalker before, or a serial killer for that matter,” he said.

“Yeah, well, you sound like that, so think about that next time you go around making wake up calls with no warning,” she retorted. 

“Everything okay?” Josh questioned, his previous playful tone morphing into concern. “You sound a lil' agitated.”

There were a lot of reasons to be agitated. Like for one, why he was calling her so early in the morning. If Andre would take kindly to another man hitting her up like this. After a brief moment of silence, along with her sleepy brain finally catching up with events, she replied, “I’m fine. So, is there a reason you’re calling or was it just to scare me shitless?“

"There’s a reason, sweetheart, take it easy,” Josh responded.

“Spit it out then.”

“Dee, relax, damn,” he reprimanded her softly. “You ever watched a WWE pay-per-view live before?”

She walked around the bedroom, getting her things ready for the day. “What, like on cable? Many times, yeah. Why?”

Josh chuckled. “A’ight, let me rephrase that. I meant have you ever been to a live event before? Like in an arena or a stadium?”

“No. Never. I had a few chances as an adult but I was always busy.” In reality, she couldn’t afford to go. Her limited income was always eager to remind her how expensive tickets were. She couldn’t even afford to give away ten dollars a month for the WWE Network. She always recalled the year 2018 with a hint of sadness. WrestleMania 34 had been only a three-hour drive from Pensacola, but the tickets were much too steep to even think of making that drive. The show ended up being one of the more memorable Manias, and it was one of the numerous times she regretted her and Andre’s financial difficulties.  

“Raw is in Panama City in two weeks,” the Samoan informed her. “I was wondering if you would be interested in attending. You and your fiancé of course,” he added quickly, as though to prevent her from getting the wrong idea. “Both o’ y’all will be there as my guests.”

Delilah stopped in her tracks, trying to digest this tantalizing offer. “Wait, really? You’re inviting us personally?”

“Why not? I thought it’d be something you’d wanna see.”

“I totally do. That’s so kind of you. I gotta talk to Dre first, but I’d love to be there. Definitely.”

“Great, I’ll make the arrangements for the tickets,” Josh responded, and she noticed the relief in his voice. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your beauty sleep,” he went back to teasing her, “I look forward to seeing you in two weeks, Delilah.”

Fuck. The way he said her name though. She thought back to the way the L’s rolled off his tongue whenever he pronounced them, in such a seductively lethal manner, coupled with the sensual twinkle in his eye…

Suddenly she felt a little heated and flushed, despite the air-conditioning. Willing away the fluttering in her chest, she gripped her phone a little tighter. “Can’t wait. Take care,” she whispered, mumbling a goodbye and hanging up. She breathed deeply and tilted her head up, lost in thought. That was done. Now all she had to do was convince Andre that they could afford to spend a few days in Panama City. But more importantly, convince herself that she was only looking forward to the live event in two weeks and nothing else.

————-

Thoughts?

Banner made by me. Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs.

🏷️:  @jxtina-86 @wrestlingprincess80 @fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @squishyguishy @jstarr86 @murrylove @thewarlordsworld @mzv11 @cozyaliensuperstar7 @nayys-world @hunnidmilly @cyberdejos2 @papireigns-05 @niknakbucks92 @captainwithoutmakingitlove @sovereigngoth @aisharmi @kennedi0818 @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @herwickedlittlesins @questionable-behaviour @tribalchiefreigns @2-muchsauce @thatbxtchsblog @raya-hunter01 @marchi36753 @lovelysuccess @christinabae @wooahmiri @thatonecarebear @tabletheofhead @rheaanddamianfan @vebner37 @hanley1577 @princessesareforsuckers @-naturally @joannasteez @bbygirlky18 @lilucey @theninthwonder @melaninsugababy @chocovibesonly @msbluehaz3 @scarlettnoir01 @heerah34 @empressdede @tbmotw @darkangelchronicles @visionarymode @marasdeathnote @aintnorainbows @meggylynnloves @shantinextdoor @harlemblipster @trc-punzel @afterdarkprincess @nbanenefrmdao @sassginaswanmills @purplehairgawdess @holisticcoach @girlwhogaf @royalkay23 @heyitsnajabrinee @stoner2k @reci1996 @catxo @iamimanim @lookmais @ts1mp0ne @shonny09 @lizzyd1ish @m3llowww @skyesthebomb @final1miya @mzv11 @kia1996 @randomuser0711 @yourtribalqueen @caramelcleopatraa @katymae12344 @that-one-anxious-mango @yana3sworld @ajenae @truefant4sy @thetribalqueen @bhjszsdxc @paigereeder @christinabae @justazzi @maknaehyucks @mindairy @headoftheetable

#jey uso #main event jey uso #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso imagines #jey uso smut #new to this #the bloodline #jey uso fanfic #jey uso x black oc

[imsorrythatimweird101-blog]

**Using gateway tapes for void state*

Many people (especially Tumblr, I see y'all) are really interested in the void state. Me too honestly but here's the information that I got about the void state through the gateway tapes.

**By One-lawfulness**

“Glad to see others here who also use the gateway tapes. I'm starting to believe we'll 1 you can shift with them but more so F15 is essentially the void state. It seems they are described the same way.”

“ body asleep/ mind awake is indeed F10. However the void state from what I read is when your pure awareness. You don't feel the body, you can't see, hear, touch, etc. There is no body at all your simply awareness. There's a post I believe in one of the shifting groups where someone linked and reposted a Twitter post where someone went into detail on what is and isn't the void state. All I know is the void state while it shouldn't be hard to reach isn't as simple as some think. But it makes sense since it seems shifting, manifesting, etc is all instant from it.

This should link to the post

https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/comments/18swmdp/definitive_guide_to_the_void_state/?share_id=1dj52vByrbmI3Q7rNmULO&utm_content=2&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=

Well they say the focus levels are different for everyone but there are some general guidelines to it. Some where someone linked a page with a brief description of each focus level and when you read F15 I think or maybe 12 it's described as a void.

But if your looking for manifesting it seems some say you can do that in F10, 12, and 15 but I assume it's easier the higher you go.

(It's F15)

If I find the page with the focus level description I'll link it also

Found it

https://www.monroeinstituteuk.org/focus-levels/

Personal experience

what's recommended is once you get there the first thing is to manifest being able to enter it easily. Then from there do as you wish. That could work. I assume using it along with LOA is a great combo to help get into the void state the first time. When I was first trying the void state before using the gateway tapes I was in F10 essentially and couldn't fully go into it.

I stayed with F10 for a while but realized I was holding myself back because F10 wasn't hard to enter and I was saying I needed to master it first.

**By Beautiful_V**

F10 is SATS. SATS is the mind awake body asleep, you repeat a scene to mnaifest but that isn’t SATS it’s the state you do that hence state akin to sleep. You can manifest all the time using it! Instead of affirmations (lullaby method) I visualize until I fall asleep in this state. The trick is you can’t be too tired or too awake. Or even better just do it during a nap never takes me more than 3 days.

**Beautiful_v manifesting method**

“My routine”

-Do Wim Hof breathing technique

-Have theta waves immediately playing afterwards

-Count to whatever gets me to floaty feeling at first it was 500, now it’s 200/300 when you lose count just go back to the nearest 100th so you don’t fall asleep

-when I get the floaty feeling it means I’m about to fall asleep so affirm or visualize desired results.

-fall asleep in the wish fulfilled there will be no time for you to doubt because you’ll be too tired

-do this for 3-5 days it works in less depends on your beliefs but I always say 3 days because that’s what I read from Neville so I adopted that mindset !

**Big_suggestion9**

“Yes F10 is considered the void state”

Background: he has his own YouTube channel and is currently on wave 3 tape 6! He's personally like a mentor to me because I ask him about stuff. This is what he personally told me.

He's experience

https://youtube.com/@TheGatewayExperience?feature=shared

**My opinion**

Everyone is right in this discussion. Gateway tapes are based on personal experience. **No matter what, you need enter F10 for anything. Shifting, astral projection, void state. F10 void state or not. To achieve anything you need to achieve F10!**

**What do you recommend?**

You want to go into a void state? Then finish gateway tapes for F10 (gateway 1). Then do F12, after MASTERING everything. Go to manifest tape and affirm that you can go to void state instantly or whatever affirmation you want. Simple as that

**PLEASE READ**

(All credit to them, I did remove some digits from the username. Please do not contact them! I don't want to have a bunch of people flooding their Dms. If you have questions about it. Ask me and I will message them personally if it's that's okay. THANK YOU!)

#reality shifting #void state #void #shifting blog #manefesting #law of assumption #law of manifestation #gatewaytapes

[lunajay33]

Migraine🕷️

Summary: You get frequent migraines but they’ve been mia since the apocalypse but even since you got to the farm they’ve returned but you didn’t wanna bother anyone until Daryl finds you balled up on the floor in pain

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x f!reader

Request by @avrmee

•Masterlist•

Soul crushing migranes were always a struggle to deal with before the world ended, but there was ways to try and relieve them, medicine, piercings, acupuncture but now that it’s been about a year and there was no more medicine or anything really the migraines came back and almost stronger than before

They’d come on when the heat was high and the sun was near blinding, triggering what ever it was in your head to cause crippling pain that no matter how much pressure you applied to your eyes or the amount of water you drank it didn’t matter, but in this world you couldn’t afford to take a day off especially with all the work the others were putting into the prison it was only fair you pull your weight even through the pain

Walking out of prison, opening the door to the blinding white light that was the Georgia sun stung just hoping it didn’t flair up another episode, walking out to the court yard where Daryl was tinkering on his bike you sat next to him

“I missed you this morning” you said leaning your head against his shoulder as he used a wrench against…..well you have no clue but you loved watching him work

“Sorry ya know I’m an early riser plus ya’ve been sleeping lot longer now, ya okay?”

You didn’t wanna worry him and tell him that after these long days of over exerting yourself in the heat that the pain in your head kept you awake late into the night causing you to wake up later than everyone else

“Oh yeah I’m fine, just tired is all, plus I got a beautiful sight next to me at night it’s hard to fall asleep” you laughed poking his side making him gruff out a laugh

“Well I have to go work on the crowd of walkers around the fence, if you need me I’ll be there” I said leaving his side walking down to the entrance gate, using a pole to take down as many walkers as you could working your way down the fence, working for hours when you felt an aura around your head, the groans and snaps of jaws became louder and overwhelming, your knees became weak, you became nauseous as your vision became blurred and specked with black dots, all topped off by the painful pressure in your head

Losing control you dropped to the gravel clutching your head in your hands, knees tucked up to your chest, whining from the pain, this is one of the worst it’s ever been, in the distance you could hear your name being yelled but everything was so overwhelming you couldn’t even process it until the screams got closer

“Y/n baby what’s wrong” Daryl asked holding your body close to his, your head in his lap as he rubbed your back

“It…….it hurts so much” you whined as you clutched your head more wishing for this pain to fade

He just held you for what felt like half an hour trying to comfort me, the walkers noises started to dwindle someone must have came down with Daryl to take them out, you huffed out a breath as the pain subsided a bit giving you enough strength to sit up, seeing his worried expression

“What happened?” He asked brushing my disheveled hair back

“I get this awful migraines, I didn’t wanna say anything and use it as an excuse but they keep me up at night but sometimes they get so bad, like this and I don’t know how to stop them”

“Darlin ya should have said something, we’d understand, I could’ve tried to help ya at night”

“I know how hard you work all day you need your sleep”

“But if yer feeling sick yer more important, promise me you’ll let me help ya”

You but your lip hesitant not wanting to be a burden

“Y/n” he said sternly

“Okay I promise”

“Good, ya know yer damn stubborn”

“You love me” you said smiling

“Yer lucky I do”

#twd fanfiction #daryl dixion imagine #twd daryl #daryl dixon #twd x reader #twd fluff #daryl dixion smut #daryl x reader #daryl imagines #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon twd #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon smut #the walking dead daryl #daryl x female reader #daryl x you #daryl x y/n #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon fluff #twd season 3 #the walking dead negan

[iwanty0uu]

How would aot boys react to reader saying she want a break and goes to sleep on the couch

Ony :

- “Baby girl what’s the matter?” He asked as he wrapped his hands around you, nuzzling into your warm body on his bed, his dark features enhanced by the blue light of your phone. You didn’t respond which earned a poke in the hip from him. “ You dont wanna talk t’me? What i do?” You hummed in response, scrolling through his following and his liked posts, all the girls that you felt looked better than you.. the insecurity started to get to your head. “Hey Ony..I think we should take a..you know..brea-” You heard the bed creak beneath you as he straightened himself up. “Y/n.. don’t play with me. You not deadass. How you finna be upset with me and not tell me what I did so we could fix it?” He said, his tone changing in frustration and confusion, but internally, he was afraid.. “Ony I dont wanna agrue nd I can tell Im just gonna make this worse.. I’ll sleep on the couch for tonight” You mumbled softly. “Like hell you will, the fuck. You gon talk to me whether u like it or not and if i gotta read your notes app to figure out who or what the fuck got in my baby’s head I will.” He grabbed your face peppering it with butterfly kisses.

• “We’ll figure it out together girl”…

Armin :

Armin was very observant, so when he noticed your distance, he panicked and it bothered him for days. “Love?” He asked from the living room, slowly entering making sure not to invade your space. You looked up in response turning your phone off to give your boyfriend your full attention. “ I got your text.. about, you sleeping on the couch tonight and stuff, n I don’t know if this is because mood swings or if its something that I did or if its something that you’re upset with me about not saying that I have to be the center of your life and emotions and everything because I know that you work really hard in school and-” He paused abruptly collecting his thoughts. He averted his eyes from your now concerned gaze. You never knew it would affect him this much. “What I’m trying to say is.. I got you chic-fil-a and a new blanket to make you feel better.. and hopefully we can watch a movie and talk about it?

• “I’ll give you your space but I’m only a call from our bedroom away okay?”…

Connie :

The ping of the basketballs in the gym echoed in your ears. You watched as your boyfriend got a little too friendly with his personal trainer who you weren’t jealous of, but you simply weren’t fond of her. Who would want their man getting touched up on by a girl for lord knows how long.. but Connie assured you that the only reason she’s here is because his usual trainer broke his arm and in three weeks, he’ll be healed enough to get back in action.He wanted to ask if you wanted to join him for the day but your energy was low so he let you be.. All was well until you were facing the window in the car, being less talkative than usual. The sun retired for the day and the sky was dark, “I’m gonna sleep on the couch tonight”… “ No ur not..”… “You cant tell me what to do..”…. “ k .”

11:04 pm

You felt a sudden jerk, which made you open your eyes skightly, and a pair of hazel eyes met yours.“Hope you got all the space you needed girly..you wont see her training me again tomorrow, she was annoying anyways..”

• His plump lips met your temple as you nustled into his neck, “night”…

Jean :

You never knew when to stop playin. You set up your phone in the kitchen to record your boyfriend’s to your little “prank”.

8:15 pm- jean comes home

8:30- jean showers after greeting you

9:25- jean lays on couch

9:28- “Jean baby.. I’m gonna sleep here tonight..I need some space..”

9:30- “Back in my day, when the women needed space, they’d sleep with the oxen and mules..so”

You stared blankly at his unfunny joke, walking into the kitchen keeping deadpan eye contact, revealing your phone. “It was a prank fucking old ass man.”

• “Oh aii…”

HOPE YA LIKED IT- 𝓵𝓮𝓵𝓮 <3

#black reader #black coded reader #attack on titan #iwanty0uu #fem reader #aot x y/n #aot fanfiction #aot x black reader #connie x black reader #aot connie #ony x black reader #onyankopon x reader #onyankapon #onyankopon x black y/n #aot onyankopon #ony x y/n #armin arlert #armin aot #armin x reader #armin x you #armin x y/n #armin x black reader #armin x black y/n #armin x fem reader #jean x reader #jean x you #jean x y/n #jean x #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein x reader

[rhondafromhr]

Lautity shippers I’m working on something for you!!

Not done yet but I wanted to share this snippet of what I have so far <3

(Also content warning: it’s pretty brief but it does deal with homophobia/internalized homophobia)

Summary: When Solomon decides raising her grades isn’t enough to get her phone back and demands Stephanie round out her extracurriculars, she maliciously complies by joining Grace in her anti-homecoming campaign. After all, yelling at her classmates about spunk and trying to get their dance canceled won’t be very good for his precious public image. Grace is glad to have the extra help, but gets more than she bargained for when she starts to develop feelings for Stephanie.

Stephanie’s hands are twitching. Somewhere out there, somebody is certainly posting the worst, most horrendous take known to man on Twitter at this very moment and here she is without her phone, powerless to do anything about it. It’s such bullshit. Her dad said that if she raised her grades to a C average, she could have it back, but at the last minute he decided that wasn’t enough and demanded she start rounding out her currently lackluster list of extracurriculars. In her opinion, spitting cold hard facts and spicy hot takes online totally counts (it’s basically journalism if you think about it), but he emphatically disagreed. She has to do something she can actually put on a college application, which means smoke club is off the table. To make matters worse, she made the mistake of complaining to Stacy and Brenda about her predicament and they’ve decided she just has to join cheer.

“Seriously, just try the new cheer with us and see how you like it! I mean you’re pretty, you’re popular, why aren’t you a cheerleader already?” says Brenda.

“Uh, doesn’t it also require, like, dance skills and athleticism and enthusiasm?” Steph says with a skeptical look.

“Oh, you can learn all that stuff,” Stacy says cheerfully.

“Yeah, that’s great and all, but isn’t it too late to join?” Stephanie replies, increasingly desperate for some way to end this conversation.

“Technically, yeah, but I’m captain! I’m sure I can talk coach into making an exception for you,” Brenda says “seriously, just give it a try and tell us you don’t absolutely love it!”

“Do I really need to try it to tell you I don’t absolutely love it? I’ve never tried, like, squeezing lemon juice into an open wound, either, but I’m pretty confident I don’t like that.”

They both purse their lips in confusion, pausing just long enough for her salvation to arrive - fittingly enough, in the form of Grace. Honestly, the least she can do is help Stephanie out of this jam. Her inability to butt out and let people cheat on tests in peace is the reason Stephanie’s even in this situation in the first place. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she almost made them all complicit in manslaughter with that stupid prank. If Pete dove to catch Max even a fraction of a second later, she doesn’t want to think about what would’ve happened. Then again, Max’s brush with death seems to have humbled him and he’s at least been trying to be less of an asshole, so she supposes she has to give Grace credit for making Hatchetfield High a more tolerable place to be. Besides that, whether she likes it or not, they’re running in the same circles now. Steph’s been spending more time with Pete and Pete hangs out with Ruth and Richie, who hang out with Grace, so they’re stuck together, at least at lunch. To make things even weirder, Max has been joining them and those four have been letting him.

“Hey! Grace!” Stephanie calls with uncharacteristic enthusiasm as Grace rounds the corner, her “Homec*mming: don’t dance with temptation!” sign held high.

“Hi, Stephanie,” she says, eyeing her suspiciously “I assume you haven’t changed your mind about allowing that excuse for sin and debauchery to happen?”

“I, uh, you know what? Yes I have,” says Stephanie. Surprise flashes across Grace’s face before she hands over the pink glitter gel pen attached to her clipboard so Stephanie can sign. There’s something so strangely charming about the fact that she uses a freaking glitter gel pen of all things for this.

“Actually,” Stephanie says as she puts down her signature with a flourish “I was wondering if you needed any help with your campaign.”

It’s brilliant. She can fulfill her father’s extracurricular requirement and simultaneously make him regret ever asking her to do it. He’s constantly hounding her about not doing anything to smear his public image and hurt his chances of reelection. Joining Grace in going around school harassing all of her peers and telling them they’re going to hell for supporting homecoming is going to reflect very, very poorly on him. Not to mention how pissed off everyone will be if they actually succeed in canceling the dance. They won’t, but a girl can dream. What’s more, the Chasitys are fairly powerful members of the community and crossing them by suddenly ditching their daughter when she promised to help her is also going to make him look bad. It’s a lose-lose situation for her father and, therefore, win-win for her. See, she is pretty damn smart, no matter what he says.

Grace eyes her suspiciously. “You want to help? You? Why the sudden change of heart?”

Shit, how is she going to explain it? There’s no way Grace is going to believe she suddenly saw the light and became a prude overnight.

“I, just, uh, realized I wasn’t being very open-minded to your worldview. Think of it as a gesture of goodwill. Besides, we’re friends, right? Comrades. Classmates. Nighthawks. And Nighthawks gotta stick together, so if canceling the dance is really all that important to you, then what the hell- heck! I mean heck! I’ll help you out.”

“Well, it has been pretty lonely trying to do it all by myself,” Grace admits, “alright, I guess you can join.”

Stacy and Brenda have been watching this play out, periodically turning to each other to exchange bewildered looks. They only become more confused when Stephanie asks them to sign the petition, too. Brenda shrugs and accepts the pen, writing down her name in perfectly neat cursive. She’s stoked for the homecoming game and pep rally, but she couldn’t care less about the dance right now. It’s been two weeks since Max almost died or whatever and promised to stop bossing everybody around, meaning there’s nothing stopping Kyle from asking her out. So why hasn’t he? She’s been watching grand, romantic hoco proposals at lunch every single day and slowly losing hope that he has one planned for her. Stacy immediately follows suit. Steph and Brenda signed, so she’s obviously going to. She doesn’t want to be the odd one out.

“Wow, three signatures! That’s more than I’ve gotten the entire time I’ve been doing this! Steph, you’re incredible!” The way Grace’s face lights up is almost endearing and Stephanie has to admit that it’s nice to get some praise and recognition for once.

“Oh, we’re just getting started,” Steph replies with a faint, mischievous smirk.

Before they part ways to head to their next class, Stephanie finds herself agreeing to go to Grace’s after school. Apparently, if she’s serious about this, she needs her own sign to carry around.

“It’ll be fun, Steph,” Grace insists “think of it like arts and crafts!”

“My favorite,” Stephanie says flatly as they load Grace’s pink Schwinn into the backseat of her car.

It turns out that the Chasity household is all the way across town. Grace must be surprisingly athletic if she makes that commute on her bike twice a day. It sits in a cul de sac lined with near-identical two-story houses, complete with perfectly maintained green lawns and white picket fences. It’s exactly how Stephanie would have pictured it. At least it is until they go upstairs to Grace’s bedroom and she sees that the door’s been removed from his hinges.

“I know open floor plans are trendy right now, but this seems like overkill,” she says “why do you just, like, straight up not have a bedroom door?”

“Oh, I’m not allowed to,” Grace says as if it’s the most normal thing in the world “my parents are worried I might get up to some inappropriate activities unsupervised.”

“Inappropriate? You?” Steph says “what, are they afraid you’re gonna stay up until eight forty-five instead of eight thirty doing bible study?”

The joke is lost on Grace.

“No, Steph, really bad stuff! Like…” she pauses and looks around as if to make sure they’re alone, then lowers her voice to a whisper “…reading lewd magazines or touching myself.”

This explains a lot about Grace. Despite herself, Stephanie can’t help but feel bad for her. Along with that comes a slight, unexpected sense of kinship. She knows a thing or two about overly controlling parents. Sure, Solomon ignores her ninety percent of the time, but the ten percent he doesn’t, he’s always on her ass about something she should be doing or shouldn’t be doing or needs to be doing differently.

Grace’s small bedroom is immaculately clean and organized. It consists of a twin-sized bed in the corner with a pastel pink and blue quilt, a small desk and a largely empty bookshelf lined with only a small handful of church-approved reading material. Stephanie’s eyes are drawn to the figure of Jesus on the crucifix hanging on the door.

“What’s with the sweater?” she asks “is that some kind of obscure biblical reference I don’t get?”

“Oh, no,” Grace replies “I just knitted that for him ‘cause I think he needs to cover up. I get that he died for our sins, but he doesn’t need to have his nips out to do it.”

Stephanie stifles a laugh as they settle down on the floor with their posterboard and Grace’s impressive collection of colorful markers and get to work on her sign. To make things more interesting, she challenges herself to come up with the worst possible slogan and get Grace to approve it.

“Oh, I’ve got it,” she says, snapping her fingers “how about ‘homecoming? More like hell going.’”

“I like that,” says Grace “it really gets the point across. You’re pretty smart, Steph.” If her eyes water at that, it’s just allergies. Despite the cleanliness of the room, Grace must have forgotten to dust it recently. Yeah. That’s it.

Stephanie doesn’t get much sleep that night. With no Twitter fights to distract her, she simply stares at the ceiling until two in the morning thinking about the surprising amount of fun she had hanging out with Grace today and the glance she got into Grace’s home life that awakened a new sense of sympathy for the school snitch. Given how ludicrously strict the Chasitys seem to be, her existence is probably totally devoid of typical teenage mischief. She probably hasn’t so much as snuck out for a late-night convenience store run. It’ll take some convincing, but maybe Steph can change that.

God, who is she? Why is she lying here actually thinking about willingly spending time with Grace? The lack of screen time must be messing with her head. She always thought getting off of that cesspool of an app would improve her brain function, but apparently not. She needs her phone back, pronto. She just has to survive the next couple weeks first.

The second she wakes up, Stephanie realizes she’s going to fall asleep in class without the help of caffeine. She stops off at that singing coffee shop and gets her usual, a black americano with seven shots. She’s not sure they’re even legally allowed to serve that much caffeine in one drink, but they always indulge her. Being the mayor’s daughter does have its perks. On a whim, she decides to get an herbal peach tea for Grace. She double checks that it’s caffeine free and watches the barista vigilantly to make sure she doesn’t spit in it as it’s rumored they sometimes do here. It’s not like she wants to, but they agreed to touch base before class and it would be rude not to bring her anything. Solomon may be a shitty dad, but he raised her to have manners, damnit.

Grace is waiting for her on the steps in front of the school and accepts the tea almost cautiously, tentatively taking a sip once Stephanie reassures her that it doesn’t contain what she refers to as a gateway drug. Stephanie actually googled it once to try and prove her wrong and learned that caffeine is, in fact, technically a drug, even if she still doesn’t believe it’s a slippery slope to smoking “the devil’s lettuce” like Grace insists it is. No wonder she gets headaches when she doesn’t drink her seven shot americano. Huh, Grace might almost have a point.

“Oh, that’s really good,” she says brightly “I usually just drink plain hot water, but this is way better. I think it might be my new favorite. Thanks, Steph!”

Stephanie decides not to wonder why she’s so pleased that Grace liked it or why her heart flutters a little at the thought that it’s Grace’s new favorite. Maybe it’ll become her go-to order and she’ll think of Stephanie every time she drinks it.

“Alright, we’ve got like ten minutes before classes start, let’s get this show on the road,” Steph says. She sets her sights on a couple nerds climbing up the steps, engaged in a conversation about some TV show about a time traveling doctor.

“Hey,” she says “Rita! TJ!”

“It’s, uh, it’s Reese and PJ,” the one with the pigtails and the glasses says nervously. They both look a little terrified of her, which makes sense. She does run with the jocks and cheerleaders who were probably picking on them until recently.

“Right,” she says, trying to emulate her father’s constituent charming smile “say, you don’t want your tax dollars funding a school-sanctioned fuckfest, do you?”

“Steph! Language,” Grace scolds her.

“Uh,” Reese replies, clearly distressed and confused.

“We’re high schoolers,” says PJ, equally uncertain “I mean, I have, like, a part-time job at the bookstore, so I guess I’m technically a taxpayer? Look, is this some new type of bullying? Because it’s making me really uncomfortable, I’d honestly rather you just gave me a swirly and got it over with.”

“PJ!” Reese says “speak for yourself! I don’t want a swirly. I’ll take the weird experimental bullying.”

“Oh, perish the thought! It’s not bullying. We’re out here trying to save souls,” Stephanie says dramatically “as a wise woman once said, homecoming is just an excuse to dry hump in the gym. We can’t allow that such depravity and debauchery to take place. Not at our school. Sign this petition to keep the hallways free of sin and the gym floor free of spunk.” She’s actually having a blast hamming it up like this. Maybe she should look into drama club. She turns to look at Grace, who’s positively beaming and giving her two thumbs up.

“If we, uh, if we sign your petition, will you leave us alone?” PJ asks, shrinking back from Stephanie and hiding behind Reese.

“Deal,” Steph says, already handing her the glitter gel pen. She and Reese hastily sign and book it to get away from her.

It gets better from there. She catches Brad Callahan in the hallway and harasses him to sign, too. When he refuses on the grounds that Sarah Peterson agreed to go with him and they’re “totally going to get to third base”, she gets to channel her inner Grace and tell him he’s going to burn in hell. If there is an afterlife similar to what’s posited in the bible, she honestly does believe he will, but for entirely different reasons.

“Have fun letting the devil lick your skin clean off with his sandpaper tongue,” she calls after him. God, that was cathartic.

By the end of the week, half the school is thoroughly annoyed by her and Grace’s proselytizing and the other half have, by some miracle, actually agreed to sign that damn petition. Every day, she comes up with another excuse (reason. They’re valid reasons) to hang out with Grace after school. They have to make new flyers to hand out. They have to make pamphlets to educate people on the safety hazard of bodily fluids on the gym floor. Now that they’re getting serious traction, they have to discuss how to bring the petition to the principal and then, potentially, the school board.

It was only a matter of time before Solomon caught wind of all this and confronted her. She gets home from drafting their proposal for principal Blim to find him waiting up for her in the living room, a scowl on his face. It gives her slight deja vu for the day her precious smartphone was taken from her.

“Well, if it isn’t my October surprise.”

“Oh, hi, Dad. To what do I owe the pleasure?” she says mockingly.

“Don’t get cute with me,” he says “care to explain why I’m getting phone calls from your school about you trying to cancel the homecoming dance and yelling at your classmates about ‘spunk’?”

“You were the one who told me to round out my extracurriculars,” she replies with a smug grin “I’m helping Grace Chasity with her campaign. Haven’t you heard? Homecoming is just a disgusting excuse to dry hump in the gym.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Stephanie, I meant a real extracurricular. Volleyball! German club! Yearbook! Anything but whatever the hell this is!”

“What’s the big deal?” she says “you were so worried what people would think of my nocturnal activities when that rumor started going around and now it’s not an issue anymore. Everyone knows I’m strictly anti-sex.”

“Well, you’re going to knock it off this instant if you don’t want me to smash your phone with a hammer for real.”

“Okay. Done,” she says, pausing for effect before grinning evilly and adding, “oh, you know what. I just thought of something. The Chasitys are a pretty big deal in the community, huh? Pretty important in the church. They’re not going to be too happy with me if I ditch their daughter and leave her out to dry when I promised I’d help her, are they?”

Solomon throws his hands up and lets out an exasperated groan.

“You’re killing me, Stephanie!” he says “you’re killing me with what you’re doing!”

“If only, Dad. If only,” she says quietly, still smirking as he retreats to his study.

Grace climbs out of bed and stretches, feeling slightly groggy from sleeping in an extra half hour. Steph’s giving her a ride today, meaning she didn’t have to get up quite so early to give herself time to bike to school. She usually doesn’t mind it - she likes getting the fresh air and the way it quiets her usually racing mind - but it’s pouring rain today and she’d much rather be inside a warm, dry car. Steph’s company doesn’t hurt, either. She knows their relationship is strictly business, but she’s been having fun with Steph and she’s starting to think of her as an actual friend. She wonders if Steph feels the same way. She’s never had many friends before, so it’s hard to tell. She gets dressed, brushes her teeth, washes her face and even puts on some of that moisturizer Steph gave her to try when she complained about her dry skin. She goes downstairs and toasts up two blueberry bagels, spreading cream cheese onto them and placing one neatly into a Tupperware container for Steph. She always oversleeps and misses breakfast, so Grace has been trying to bring her something reasonably nutritious every day. It’s the least she can do with how much Steph has helped her recently.

Stephanie pulls up in front of her house and she climbs into the car, immediately relaxed by the feeling of the heat blasting and the sound of soft jazz playing on the stereo.

“I like the music,” Grace comments.

“Yeah, I thought it’d fit the cozy rainy day vibes,” says Steph.

“It is cozy,” Grace agrees.

“So, two hundred signatures, huh?” Steph says “did you ever think you’d get that far?”

“No,” says Grace “not in my wildest dreams. I never could have done it on my own. I’m nowhere near as convincing as you. If you can believe it, a lot of people say I come on a little strong.”

“What? No way!” Stephanie says in a lighthearted, teasing manner. “Maybe you do, but that’s not always a bad thing,” she adds after a moment with a rare fond, sincere smile.

The heat must be turned up a little too high, because Grace can feel her face flushing. They arrive at school and as Stephanie reaches into the backseat to grab her bag, Grace wonders what it would be like to lean in and kiss her. How soft her lips would be and whether she’d taste bitter from all that coffee she slams. Oh, heck. Oh, no.

She shoves that thought deep down into the recesses of her mind where it belongs. She tells Steph they should divide and conquer instead of sticking together today, claiming it’s because they’re running out of time and they need to cover as much ground as possible. She isn’t sure, but she could swear Steph looks a little sad. Despite her efforts, her mind keeps wandering back to that moment in the car as she traverses the hallway trying to collect more signatures at lunch. She’d give anything for some kind of distraction right now. Well, ask and you shall receive, as they say. Max approaches and, as usual, he brightens up when he sees her.

“Hey, Grace,” he says cheerfully, absolutely enraptured by her “what are you doin’?”

“Hi, Max,” she says absently, too wrapped up in her current crisis to scold him for leering at her like that “getting the dance canceled, same as usual.”

“Where are you headed? Maybe I could, uh, carry your books for you? If you want. No pressure. Or we could just walk together,” he says with a bright, hopeful smile.

“Max, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, we’re way too young for that! Besides, if you don’t change your ways, you’re already hellbound. You don’t need to make things worse for yourself by associating with a sinner like me.”

Max furrows his brow in genuine confusion. “What are you talking about? You’re, like, the biggest prude in school.”

She feels tears pricking at her eyes. “That’s really sweet of you to say, Max, but you don’t understand. I think I like someone. Like, like-like them.”

“Is it me?” he asks, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. She gives him an incredulous look.

“No,” she says. His face falls slightly, but there’s no time to dwell on his disappointment now. Who the hell is this guy, anyway? He’s going to kick his ass- wait, no. No, he’s not. Grace is her own person and she’s allowed to go out with whoever she wants. It’s not this mystery dude’s fault if she likes him and not Max.

“That’s the thing,” she continues, “that someone’s a girl, too!”

The tears flow freely now and she begins to sob quietly. Max’s eyes go wide and he freezes up like a deer in headlights. He has no idea how to handle this. Until recently, he made people cry on a near daily basis, usually deliberately. Getting them to stop crying, on the other hand, is uncharted territory.

“Aw, Grace, c’mon, don’t cry,” he starts. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t do much. “I’ll sign your petition! I’ll make everybody sign your petition! How’s that sound? No homecoming! No spunk on the gym floor!” When she doesn’t even respond to that, he knows it’s serious. “Lots of people like girls. I like girls! Who doesn’t? They’re great.”

She sniffles. “Yeah, b-but you’re a boy. You’re supposed to!”

He pauses. “Well, I don’t bring it up a lot, but I like guys, too. See, you’re not alone. We’re, like, uh, what’s the phrase? Like two peas in a pod,” he says, trying to sound gentle and reassuring, which is also uncharted territory for him. She pauses and looks at him for a second.

“Oh, gosh,” she says and starts bawling even harder. He winces and realizes he’s in way over his head. It’s time to message Ruth and Richie for backup.

Grace is crying, plz help

He receives a string of incredibly graphic threats and knife emojis from both of them in response and adds, I swear I didn’t do it!! At least not on purpose!!

Yeah well there’s a difference between intent and impact bitch. Smh have you already forgotten the anti bullying assembly??? Richie replies but yeah meet us in the AV classroom, it’s empty rn

He leads Grace there and Ruth and Richie await them. She sniffles and takes a seat. Ruth hands her a water bottle and Richie gives her a small pack of tissues. He always carries some around to dab the sweat from his forehead. It’s not like they’re very useful for him, anyway. They usually end up disintegrating from becoming so soaked.

“You wanna tell us what’s wrong, Grace?” Richie asks.

She tugs at the sleeve of Max’s letterman, looking at him with red, puffy eyes. His chest tightens. It’s hard to see her like this, so sad and scared and drained. His face forms a puzzled expression as he tries to figure out what she’s trying to communicate until he finally realizes.

“Oh,” he says “you want me to tell ‘em?” She nods, still dabbing at her eyes with the tissues. “She’s sad ‘cause she likes a girl. But there’s nothing wrong with that, right? Who doesn’t like girls?”

“Uh, me,” says Richie.

“Oh, right, sorry, Richie,” Max corrects himself, looking a little sheepish.

“Preach!” says Ruth, raising her hand to high five Max. He enthusiastically returns it. “If girls loving girls is wrong, then I don’t want to be right! See, Grace, you’re not alone. You’re just like me. Two peas in a pod!”

Grace buries her face in her hands and starts bawling again.

He looks at Ruth and Richie with slight indignation.

“See,” he says “it’s not so easy, is it?” His point made, he turns to watch Grace helplessly. Grace, who was the mastermind behind the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for him, even if he did later find out that it was an admittedly well deserved revenge prank. Grace, who didn’t have to be his friend and probably shouldn’t even be giving him the time of day after the way he treated her, but still does anyway. Grace, who’s usually so opinionated and snarky and passionate, always fired up about something and never shy about it, regardless of what other people think.

He’s been learning to accept that he can’t control every little thing. That trying to have power over everything and everybody was deeply unhealthy and all it really accomplished apart from a fleeting power trip was making everybody miserable and secretly resentful of him. It’s hard letting go, but it’s also been liberating. The powerlessness he feels right now is crushing, though. There’s nothing freeing about it. He can’t stand sitting here watching his friend break down because she thinks that some fundamental part of herself is wrong. He wants to fight the people who made her feel this way, but he suspects that particular list is too extensive for him to work his way through. What good would it do now, anyway? Maybe it’s finally time to take the advice of the exhausted, overworked second grade teacher who was definitely not paid enough to put up with all of his shit and use his words instead of hitting. Better late than never, as they say.

“Grace,” he says gently, not even sure where he’s going with this, but unable to stand the silence anymore “we’re, uh, we’re here for you, alright? It’s gonna be okay.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! No it’s not,” she cries in a strained, hoarse voice “even if it’s true that there’s nothing wrong with liking girls, my parents sure don’t think so! What’s gonna happen to me if they find out? They’ll probably make me go live at abstinence camp with the Jerries for the rest of my life!”

“Well, we’re eighteen, right?” says Ruth “they can’t make you.”

“And if they try, you’ll just come live with me instead,” says Richie “uncle Paul would be more than cool with it. He loves you. He says you’re a good influence because you don’t let me blow off my homework to watch anime and you make me go to bed before three in the morning.”

“Well, you need your eight hours,” she says with a soft and sincere, but tired smile “thanks, guys. That does make me feel a little better.” She tentatively pulls Richie into a hug, not caring about the stench or how damp he is. Ruth, of course, eagerly joins in, not about to miss the opportunity for human contact. Max stays put and looks at them with hesitation, not sure if they want him to join.

“What are you doing, Max?” says Grace “get in here.” Well, that answers his question. He still holds back, watching Ruth and Richie for their reactions.

“It’s only fair,” says Richie with a smirk “you did make her cry.” He scowls, but there’s no real malice behind it. He comes over and wraps his arms around them tight.

With Grace sufficiently cheered up, there’s still one question on everyone’s minds.

“So, who’s the lucky lady?” says Ruth “wait, it’s not me, is it?”

“What? No,” she says, her signature snark finally making a comeback.

“It’s okay, Ruth. I got shot down, too,” says Max “two peas in a pod!” They high five again.

“It’s Steph,” she finally admits.

“Makes sense,” says Richie “she is waifu material.” Ruth nods in agreement.

“Waifu material?” Max asks, furrowing his brow in confusion again. Richie places a hand on each of his shoulders and looks at him with an intense, solemn expression.

“I have much to teach you,” he says “come over after football practice, we’re watching all the classics. We’ll start you off with Ouran, I feel like it’s pretty approachable for a beginner.”

Ruth grabs his arm. “What? No fair, I still haven’t gotten to show him Star Wars. Come over to mine, Max, we’re watching the prequels.”

“The prequels, Ruth? Seriously? As if subjecting him to the trilogy isn’t bad enough.”

“Well, what do you know, you won’t even sit through one episode of Clone Wars with me!”

As they continue to bicker, a warmth blooms in his chest. They actually want to spend time with him to the point of arguing over who gets to. They want to be around him when they don’t have to. They like him. They’re not just sticking around out of fear. They trust him enough to invite him into their homes. To ask him to share in the nerdy interests he used to make fun of them for. He smiles softly and pulls them into another hug.

“We can do both,” he says.

“Ugh, fine,” Richie huffs, but a reluctant smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Hey, Grace, you want to join us?” Max asks “oh, we should invite Steph and Pete, too!”

“Oh, I appreciate the invite, but I have my bible study group tonight.” That much is true. She is supposed to meet up with Mary, Gabe and Noah later to study scripture. She’s not sure she can face them after her realization today, but if she skips, her parents are sure to hear about it. Besides that, the alternative of joining them for their movie night and facing Peter is only slightly less daunting. It’s obvious that he like-likes Steph, too. She’s worried it’s going to make things awkward between them. What if Steph likes her and not Peter and he ends up getting hurt? What if Steph likes Peter and not Grace and she has to watch them hold hands and make eyes at each other and stuff down her heartbreak and pretend she never wanted any of those things?

#npmd #nerdy prudes must die #grace chasity #stephanie lauter #lautity #stephgrace #hatchetfield fanfic #max jagerman #cw homophobia #Ruth and Richie make an appearance but not enough to tag them #Pete is mentioned

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Taygan oneshot

Logan and Taylor were hanging out at their favorite cafe. It was a nice, relaxing place with couches and a tv playing music. 

They were hanging out on one of the couches, Taylor sipping from her lavender lemonade as she leaned on Logan and scrolled through her phone and Logan was reading through a book on astronomy. 

Taylor was humming to herself and looked at Logan. 

“Hey, when’s your birthday?”

“Huh? Oh. December 18.”

Taylor nodded and rapidly typed something into her phone. 

“Huh? What are you doing?” he asked, leaning over her shoulder curiously. 

She was on some website he didn’t recognize. She cleared her throat and read out, “Your horoscope for today says that you-“

“Oh no,” he says, cutting her off. He reached out and grabbed her phone. 

“Ah! Hey-!” she said, laughing, only because Logan was also laughing. She knew he was playing with her. 

“No way am I letting you read my horoscope,” he said in a matter of fact voice. 

“Why not?”

He laughed and gently bopped her head. “Because that stuff is baloney.”

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “To you, maybe. You’re just too logical,” she said as Logan handed her phone back. 

He sighed dramatically and leaned onto her shoulder. “I just know there’s no logical reason to explain something like that.”

She laughs and he laughs too. That’s one thing they liked about each other. They could laugh so freely together. They may disagree on so many things they’re passionate about, but in the end, they know it’d be ridiculous to really get mad about it. So, instead, they bond on other things. 

“Did you hear about the crafts they’re sending to Mars?” Logan asked. 

“Oh ya! I’ve seen photos of it! The craftsmanship! I can only imagine how much work went into building it!”

This was what they could bond over. A crossover between space and engineering. 

“Do you plan to go to NASA after you go to engineering school?” he asks, wrapping his arm around her as he looked back at his book. 

Taylor hesitated, sipping from her lemonade awkwardly. “I dunno.. I’m not sure if I’m even going to engineering school..”

“Huh? Why not. You love mechanical engineering.”

“I know. It’s a money thing..”

“Ah..” That was one thing Logan understood all too well. He lived with his grandparents, who were florists. He threw out ideas of going to his dream schools a long time ago. 

But, still.. Taylor of all people deserved to go to whatever school she wanted. She’s such a dedicated and hard worker, and super passionate too. 

It’s what Logan admired so much about her. 

“I think you should try for a scholarship,” he said, resting his cheek on the top of her head. 

“You think so?”

“Ya.. You’re definitely smart enough for it.” He gave her a jovial smile. “Even if you do believe in horoscopes.”

She snorted out a laugh. Her snorting always caught him off guard and caused him to laugh and snort too, and soon they’d just be giggling messes. 

No one ever brought out this side of Logan. He was too shy, too boring. And yet Taylor made him fun, made him playful and teasing. 

She was so much like him, yet so different. Maybe that’s why he likes her so much. 

And Taylor admired Logan’s quiet nature. The way he could just listen, be such a gentle shoulder to cry on. Taylor had such a bad habit of trying to always find solutions, something she picked up from Tyler growing up, that she never actually pays attention to her emotional needs. Logan’s presence always felt like a gentle reminder to think about that sort of stuff.

They were still giggling like a couple of schoolchildren when one of the people working went up to them. 

“I’m sorry..” she said with the most passive aggressive smile the two of them had ever seen. “Could you two pipe down or leave? You’re causing disturbance to everyone else in the cafe.”

The two exchanged embarrassed glances and stood up. 

“Right, sorry,” said Taylor. “We’ll head on out…”

The two left the shop and once they were standing outside the door, they looked over at each other, paused, and burst out laughing. 

“Oh my gosh,” Logan said. “That’s my first time getting kicked out of anywhere.”

“Me too! Haha!!”

The two linked arms and began to walk off. 

“Wanna go to my grandparents’ flower shop?”

“Ya. Sounds good.”

They walked together in comfortable silence, calming down from their laughing fit. 

“Hey. Logan?”

“Ya?”

“You really think I could get into engineering school on a scholarship?”

“Yes,” he said confidently. 

She looked down and smiled. “And you think I could really work at NASA?”

“Yes,” he said again, full confidence. 

“…Maybe I will.. as long as you come with me.”

“Where?”

“To NASA.. let’s see the stars together.”

He paused and smiled at her. Logan wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do with his life. He had never been sure. But Taylor’s confidence, her request.. it was so tempting that he, for the first time, felt confident about what he wanted to do after high school. 

“NASA..? Maybe.”

That’s probably why they got along, really. 

They both reached to their dreams. 

Taylor trusted in hopes, Logan trusted in facts. 

But their trusts tied together in their love for the stars. 

#platonic or romantic #school bus graveyard #Sbg #logan sbg #tyler hernandez #taylor sbg #taylor hernandez #Taygan #Oneshot #fanfic

[your-local-granny]

Being critical of art is all fun and games until you are the art that is being critiqued :(

#God I was feeling so good today but duuuude I’m so scared abt the opera from purely a technical standpoint #like I’m not even stressed about fucking anything up anymore it just hit me that like. I invited people to see this and it might be bad :( #due to variables outside of my control!!!! I hate not being able to fix things #I would be less stressed if my mother wasn’t seeing it but tragically I’m proud of what /i/ am achieving so I really want her to be there!! #but I know it’s going to be SUCH a fucking let down after the other shows she’s seen at my school like #the productions she saw were SO GOOD on a technical standpoint and both of the productions this year were so bad :(((( #like even conveptually I don’t even know if I’m fully convinced and I’m in the show!!! #And idk. It’s hard when you don’t have an extended family (or like much of a family at all) #so the only people coming to your show are like. Broadway technicians #the closest thing I have to an uncle is a lighting designer and a stage manager my mother knows #very fun sometimes. Other times I want to throw myself onto a pyre #Why do the stakes have to be so high why can’t they just be happy to support me :)) I shall never be the center of her world. Ah well #But also we would not be as close as we are without our shared love of theater production so. Catch-22 #And at the end of the day I’m more sad that I can’t be proud of the show #it’s not anyone’s fault it just is and I need to be okay with it #I worked really hard and it matters that I’m doing this #GOD SORRY!!! #vent #portal of rambling

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly