#I want to feel comfort

[lizzy-frizzle]

Some days its just....so bad. Indescribable existentialism. Crushing depression. Feeling so awful that all I can do is sit on the couch and worry about dying. Having the irrational fear of ceasing to exist and everyone forgetting about you.

I can't stop it.

#I want peace #I want to feel better #I want to feel comfort #I want to feel like this matters #Like I matter

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[oars]

#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point #the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous #like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but #i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it #its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you #god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt #fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs #im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go #ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way. #anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen

[devilfruitdyke]

we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible

reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️

#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3 #too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture #its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it #there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic #the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho #plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric... #... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages' #that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world #i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it

[beybuniki]

boys learning about healthy communication

#soo mayn more conflicts to come but they are willing to talk things out!! they are equipped to talks things out!!! #i just know deku does sth dumb and bakugo does his breathing excercises and then asks deku why he did that #i jjust know bakugo notices he pissed deku off and he can express that he wants to talk things out #i just know deku feels comfortable enoguh to be the childish 7 sulking one :) #i just know [static noise] #amazing #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #they're supposed to be 2nd years in these but they look really young sorry #idk how to make them look 17-18

[zaana]

Crosshair being a big brother

#the bad batch #star wars #fanart #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #crosshair and omega hug #this last episode had me feel feelings #i want to see them hug #i'm so weak for cross being a big brother for her #i was worried it might a bit out of character #for omega #but she's still a kid who sometimes needs comfort too #tbb spoilers

[tiresomespaceplant]

thinks about martin blackwood for the 1892938th time

#if i think about it too hard and im like 'fuck (anguish)' #here's a personal depiction and a sort of test run after seeing fanon depictions #i just ran with the idea that you can't see them but feel them #(and also the idea that the fear is comforting bc it wants you there) #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fanart #tma #tma fanart #martin blackwood #fanart #*boop* art

[mroddmod]

little scrapped comic bc it felt a bit ooc to me in hindsight

#tbb #the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #the bad batch season 3 #tbb tech #tbb omega #i was worried that this wouldn’t really come across as i intended #i’ve heard a lot of people complain about the characterization of tech in fanon #they make him a lot less capable than he is in canon just because he is the ‘nerd’ of the team #which i totally agree with #so i didn’t want it to seem like i was doing the same #i just think that tech would have a difficultly expressing some of his vulnerability around his brothers because they are so often stoic #(and frequently make fun of one another) #and omega might be the first person he feels comfortable in letting that side of him show #idk #just a sweet idea to me #anyway i decided i wasn’t going to finish this because of my fear of being misinterpreted but i did like how these sketches turned out #so here :) #a little treat #mods art #my art #mods draws #star wars #sw tbb #star wars the bad batch

[wardingshout]

Travelling for Day 4 of SpeSilverWeek! going to Mt. Silver to visit "the extended family"...

#I might just have completely forgotten but we never properly got to see mr silver in the manga right?? a Tragedy it's my fav place #spesilverweek #pokespe #pokespe silver #pokemon #sneasel #my art #I only meant to do that second drawing but then I was feeling the art comfort so much I wanted more... #I wish they looked nicer together as a set but oh well #I might not have time for Day 5 now but I'll see dsfhkud #also everyone's been writing such nice tags the past days and I'm going all ;; over it thank you;;;; like so so much;;;;;;;; #I'm so excited to be back at it hell yeah !!!!

[crescentfool]

reunion 🌸

#persona 3 #persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #makoto yuki #ryoji mochizuki #aigis #ryomina #lizzy does art #HELLO EVERYONE!!! march 5th is upon us again so i bring... my contribution for this year. my third year drawing for it! #i made the thumbnail for this a few weeks after last year's graduation day #i thought it would be fun to lean into the ryominaigis angle of graduation day (you could read this as minato/aigis if you like- #but i feel like most people would read it as ryoji/minato) #IN ANY CASE working on this made me very emotional over this game :') (specifically minato) #i really enjoy how p3 ends it's such a nice way of wrapping up the narrative's messages and themes #working on this. minato's kindness was at the forefront of my mind throughout the piece #and i really wanted to capture how. ultimately it was his decision to sacrifice himself- to do the great seal #while to an outsider's perspective it is. sad that minato passes. i think becoming the seal is something that minato- #actively welcomes. in the same way that death (ryoji) is a comfort to him because death was housed in him for Ten YearsTM #AND I ALSO GOT REALLY SAD OVER AIGIS TOO. i still get fucked up over how in fes's animated cutscene for 3/5 they portray- #her as human and not drawing the robot parts so i wanted to do something smilar here... #but also i am very sad on aigis's behalf because she discovers her humanity through minato and realizes what she- #wants to do and then. well. minato is like. he's ready to pass on (even if he's scared) and im like. OH MY GOD THIS TRIO GETS ME MESSED UP #this was more coherent in my head LOL BUT ough i like drawing p3 and working through my feelings about it... #anyway! happy (in quotations) march 5th. i love this game to bits. it's so fun to draw for this day every year and see how i've improved #if you've read all this thank you :) lizzy appreciates you all very much. mwah! <3

[ruporas]

good mornings throughout the travel

[ID: Two comics of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The second is underneath the read more.

The first is in four panels and follows Vash and Wolfwood through hotel rooms. First, Vash and Wolfwood exit adjacent rooms, and Wolfwood has sparkles floating around him as he exclaims, “Rise and shine! Ready to go?” Vash frowns, displeased, and says, Urk— Good morning to you too.”

Next, they’re in a room with two beds. Wolfwood is awake and fully dressed. He’s sitting on the bed and smoking, back turned away from the viewer and he says, “Wake up already, sleepyhead.” Vash sits up with his eyes still closed and yawns before saying good morning. After that, they’re sharing a bed, and Wolfwood gets up and says, “Morning, sunshine. Time to get up.” His body shadows Vash from the sunlight. Vash is still lying down with a blanket draped over him as he mumbles good morning.

Finally, they’re embracing in bed, both shirtless. Sunlight shines on them, but their contact allows their shadows to drape over their faces. Vash smiles, kisses the top of Wolfwood’s head, and says, “Good morning, Wolfwood.” Wolfwood sleepily says, “Mph, g’morning, needle-noggin’,” snuggling into on Vash’s shoulder. End ID] ID CREDIT

TRIMAX Vol. 10 Spoilers under read more // bonus comic

[ID: The bonus comic starts with Vash asleep in bed, fully clothed with his hair half-black. Someone says “Good morning,” and Vash says, “Morning, Wolf—w...” He trails off as Livio, holding a plate of food, stares with abject shock.

Livio says, “I’m sorry.” Vash, smiling but sweating, says, “No, it’s my bad...” Livio repeats, “I’m sorry.” Vash says, “Geez, stop apologizing,” and cuts off Livio’s “I—” with a “Good morning, Livio.” Livio quietly mumbles, “... Good morning...”

Vash sits up from the couch he was sleeping on and looks down, thinking, “... That’s right. I won’t wake up to you anymore... I have to get used to that...” End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #i just think. when theyre traveling for a long time together #sleeping in the same inns sleeping in the same rooms potentially as they get closer #realizing they dont need to pay the fee for 2 bedrooms if theyre comfortable fighting back to back #realizing they dont need to pay the fee for 2 beds after one night of being forced to sleep in same one since all the 2 beds rooms ran out #and being comfortable with it - and then after their feelings are shared #realizing theyd rather sleep and rest peacefully next to one another #and wake up slowly and enjoy the mundane while they can #i drew ww waking up first bc i dont imagine he sleeps much tbh. i think vash is a light sleeper too and more often than not #and vash goes to bed just bc he knows if he tries to leave ww would follow him #i also think vash never had someone stand guard for him before even if that isnt what he wants out of ww to do. but knowing that ww is #there means that he can actually sleep peacefully without worry that someones going to drop on him immediately. i think he'd get used tothat #and ww -- as he opens his heart more to vash -- gets comfortable staying in bed a little longer #sleeps a little better -- especially when they start to share a bed bc there's a warmth there that he can't help but cave into #bc he hasn't had that in a long time. #ruporas art

[tatsumiboobs69]

#blade… jiejie? #I want him to eat well!!!! I want him to bake!!!! #feel the wrath of my COMFORT BEAM #high ponytail #honkai star rail #hsr #thats mi art

[mblue-art]

angy

#lust!sans #mblue art #shading prac #wanted my brain to have a solid visual of what he'd prolly look like when he's angy (well;; not /too/ angry here but yea) #(i think that's very hot of him) #i want to hold his hand and hug him and and and #give him all the niceys tell him nice things i want him happy and safe and comfortable and #:( kiss heem. make him feel loved af

[theemmtropy]

#trans #if you feel comfortable pls also tell me the name you chose #i just want to see some trans joy #polls #queer #name change #trans masc #trans man #nonbinary #gender #my stuff

[idk3ither]

“fantasy high junior year this” “fantasy high junior year that” I want Fantasy High School Reunion where everyone is in their early to mid thirties and they come back to Elmville for a high school reunion

#i think it would be a fun work around because most of the cast has said that they don’t really feel comfortable playing teenagers anymore #plus I want to know how everyone turns out as adults #dimension 20 #dimension 20 fantasy high #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 fantasy high sophomore year #d20 #dropout #college humor #youtube #dnd #dungeons and dungeons

[isbuckybarnesokay]

Steve never turns the heater on in his car when he's alone. This is something Eddie picks up on fairly quickly, as summer turns to autumn, as the air cools down. The mornings are icy, now. There's a bite to each and every breath that you can suck in almost like smoke, and it's pleasant for all of two seconds before it chills you to the bone.

The first time he notices it, there's so much noise in the car that Eddie doesn't get a chance to say anything - Dustin is chattering on to Mike about god-knows-what. Instead, he just watches from the passenger seat as Steve clocks Will's chattering teeth in the rearview mirror and immediately reaches forward to crank up the dial.

The second time, it's just Steve and Eddie, and they're driving back from dropping Eddie's van off at the mechanics. Steve meets him outside the shop at a crisp 7am, and it's fucking freezing, honestly. Eddie slides into the passenger seat and winces at the way his breaths come out in a cloud. "Shit, dude," he groans, "aren't you cold?" Steve shrugs, focused on driving. "A bit, I guess. Help yourself." He waves at the AC settings carelessly. How the fuck are you not freezing your balls off? Eddie wonders, but he doesn't voice the thought aloud, though he very much wants to. There's something here, he thinks. There's something I'm not getting.

The third time it happens, Eddie doesn't even need to get in the car to know Steve didn't switch the heating on. He knows this because when Steve saunters into the new trailer, a 6-pack in hand, his lips are almost blue. He's wearing a too-thin jacket, undone over a plain shirt. Eddie frowns. "Jesus Christ, Steve," he murmurs, immediately rushing through to his room to grab a sweater. He throws it at Steve when he gets back out to the main room, chewing at the inside of his cheek. "What's this for?" "Because you're fucking freezing, man. Are you kidding me? You're turning to ice right in front of me, look at you." And it's so wrong that Steve looks so confused. It's so wrong. Because he's so clearly cold as hell. It looks painful, damn it, the way his hands are shaking, the way he can't quite move his fingers properly when he goes to pop the cap off of his beer. I am going to take care of you until you figure out how to take care of yourself, Eddie thinks, fierce and determined. And he does.

When Steve leaves that night, after the movie, Eddie makes him keep the black knit sweater on, makes him take it with him. "You look cute," he grins, aiming for playful, aiming for the misdirect. He likes the way it makes Steve blush, anyway. It's a win-win. Eddie follows close behind Steve down the steps of the trailer, catching the driver's door with a quick hand before it can slam closed. He waits for Steve to start the car before getting to work. "What're you-" Steve begins, falling silent as Eddie leans over him and switches the heating on. "You," he mutters, pulling back, tapping a finger on Steve's forehead. "You keep that on until you get home, you hear me, big boy?" Steve looks bewildered, but nods anyway.

Eddie starts bringing an extra jacket or sweater with him everywhere, after that, and it comes in handy more times than he'd like. He wishes it wasn't the only way to get Steve into his clothes. He buys Steve a hot water bottle with a cover that's the same yellow as that sweater that he loves so much. Eddie gets into the habit of calling Steve each night, and before he hangs up, he tells Steve to fill it up. Tells Steve to use it. He checks Steve's bed one day, pulls back the duvet a bit, and can't help but beam when he sees the hot water bottle tucked there. When he presses a hand to it, it's still warm.

One day, nearing Christmas, now, Eddie slides into the passenger seat of Steve's car, and the heater is already on, car toasty and warm. His cheeks dimple when he sees that Steve is already wearing Eddie's own black knit sweater; His smile only widens further as Steve comments, "Fucking freezing today, man. When did it get so cold?" Eddie just chokes out a laugh and throws the spare jacket he'd brought with him onto the back seat. He has to turn his head to look out the window so Steve can't see the proud tears in his eyes.

#thinking about how childhood neglect can result in not knowing how to do things for comfort #how you can adjust solely to just surviving #thinking about eddie noticing this in steve and feeling protective about it but also not wanting to overstep boundaries with his new friend #by friend i mean crush #steddie #headcanon #steve harrington #eddie munson #isbuckybarnesokay