#I thought about this song when this scene appeared because it fits so perfectly

[faesfairies]

BEN STONE & SAANVI BAHL | Manifest 4.18 → ‘Fools’ by Lauren Aquilina

What if we ruin it all, and we love like fools?

And all we have we lose?

And I don't want you to go but I want you so

So tell me what

Tell me what we choose

#benvi #ben stone #Saanvi bahl #ben and Saanvi #ben x saanvi #manifest #manifest nbc #manifest Netflix #manifestedit #saanvibahledit #benstoneedit #I thought about this song when this scene appeared because it fits so perfectly #josh dallas #parveen kaur #michaela stone #jared vasquez #zeke landon #olive stone #cal stone

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Unexpected hyperfixation??

okay so what the fuck guys I just finished watching the Disney film Inside Out (2015) and my god JOY

JOY is so MOTHER like, MOMMY? Literally on the very first minute of the movie, when she was the first emotion to appear, she said "It was me and Riley forever", that caught my interest. And it only snowballed from there. I found how she would hug the memory balls so lovingly, super interesting

So definitely her defining character trait is a control freak, nice but actually covertly nasty. I love me a possessive smother, she was not too thrilled to know that she had to share the room with other emotions. But she eventually tolerated and became nice to them because they had a use to keep Riley alive and safe. But is highkey a hater towards Sadness because she thinks that blue fuck is only there to cause misery towards her beloved Riley.

Like WOW the core memories are all controlled by Joy and she genuinely finds JOY in doing menial shit like "dream duty" unlike the other emotions who finds it a chore. She does not sleep fr fr, rather obsessing over Riley and her thoughts and CONTROLLING everything so that Riley is forever happy and in bliss.

She physically cannot let Riley go to sleep sad, so she played a memory about her ice skating back in Minnesota, and she was also skating around in the headquarters. I interpreted it as Joy wanting to be physically outside Riley's head so she could mother her better and steal Riley from her parents to make her into Joy's daughter. I Pretend I Do Not See TVtropes explanation of that saying she secretly wants to be Riley because that does not fit into my ideal 💯💯

In that scene where a sad core memory was created, homegirl flipped the fuck out and tries to immediately get rid of it, throwing hands with Sadness and pulling her hair and shit just to avoid it creating whatever crappy mcshitster island it might have made.

Then the scene where she sees the mind workers siphoning faded memories to be thrown to the memory dump to be disintegrated, she was also freaking out because those are "perfectly good memories" and proceeds to list some obscure ass esoteric information about Riley's childhood, the names of every Cutie Pie princess doll to be exact LIKE DAMN JOY YOU REMEMBER THAT SHIT? DAMN

she got mad when the workers threw those memories away and briefly told them to bring them back YESS I SEE YOU HOARDER MAMI

and she is WELL ACQUAINTED with Riley's imaginary best friend because she gives a crap about everything related to Riley- like she remembers everything about his antics and work- FUCK BRO like Sadness doesn't seem to know who the hell that guy is but JOY DOES even down to that song they sang, and you can tell that she stays UP watching her dreams because she knew the Unicorn actress and her work too.

Joy's only priority is Riley like what the hell, it's just making Riley happy at all costs and she litcherally abandoned sadness at long term memory just so that she could get back up there and make her happy.

When bing bong's rocket got thrown into the pit and he was understandably devastated, Joy wasted no time in trying to cheer him up JUST SO the party could keep moving, she does not give TWO SHITS about him being sad, she just cared about Riley and Riley is #1 in her abstract ass brain. Like she even got annoyed when Sadness showed actual empathy and talked to bing bong, thinking it will just hinder advancements

And she just does NOT want Riley to feel other emotions if its not necessary, like logically yes scaring an 11 year old in her dream is going to wake her up immediately. But she would rather go the dumbass route of making a dream so happy and joyful that she would wake up like???? sanity and IQ slippage right there because she is distressed over not being able to save Riley just yet, or because of her possessiveness.

Bro?? Like when she's going through the recall tube (that inevitably failed), she was supposed to let sadness get sucked up with her, but because of her blueness is contaminating the core memories she was like "SORRY RILEY NEEDS TO BE HAPPY" and just kicked her to the curb, like with almost no hesitation she just shoved her away

My god, my favourite scene was when she was at the bottom of the memory dump where she sees the grey orbs being turned to dust and blown away, she was crying and mourning over the small details and memories like how Riley would stick her tongue out while colouring, and that one line "I can listen to her stories, all day." Like DAMN MISS OBSESSIVE ATTENTIVE I SEE YOUU

and she watched some random memory about Riley twirling around and falling like an idiot as a toddler, and she sobbed hard, like it isn't that deep but it is to Joy. Like the small stuff that she would obsess to the moon over like BRO FUCK THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

And the fact that there is this huge theme of "I do not want my Daughter-cum-flesh mecha to grow up" in Joy's character makes me want Joy so bad

Literally, throughout the entire 1h 30ish minute movie Joy's like: "I must save Riley. I live for Riley. In this reality it is only Riley", whereas the other personalities do give a damn about themselves a fair amount, a normal amount. Whereas Joy just devotes her entire concept to Riley, as in she has no personality other than obsessive, possessive, and controlling just for the best of Riley and her happiness, ALL SHE THINKS OF IS RILEY OR RELATING TO HER

like she could have been sadness where she became a sad sack about how she fucked up and stuff, and yes Joy DID fuck up by being an asshat to sadness, because she turns out to be important in regulating Riley's emotions. But Joy does not sulk and mope and become immobilized for long, she has work to do and that is to take care of Riley, LIKE?? DAMN JOY U CAN PUSH THRU SELF HATRED LIKE THAT JUST FOR YOUR RILEY

no she doesn't feel too awkward, too guilty or too shitty that she starts to alienate herself from the 4, but she just continues business as usual for the sake of Riley. Nothing matters except Riley's happiness AND wellbeing.

I swear to god Joy is the Yves emotion man, If my brain works like how the Inside Out universe works, Yves is literally Joy piloting my brain on a daily basis like omg that's YVES

Yves would be kinning so hard with Joy fr fr, he would be breathing so hard and gripping till the handles of his seat breaks, frothing at the mouth and pupils blown out at the thought of getting into your brain and accessing ALL those memory orbs, maybe even finding a way to make copies and export them into real life and to fill up his data vault

#oc yves

[nonsensical-ramblings]

The Stranger Things OST is something we haven't been paying nearly enough attention to, because I think I've just found something monumental.

We all know these two scenes feature the same music:

But what we haven't been talking about is how the tracks in these four scenes all share the exact same melody-

Or that the tracks from these two scenes sync up perfectly to create an entirely new piece of music

But what if I told you this is only the very tip of the iceberg, because I've been sifting through evidence for quite a while now, and we are far past the point of this all just being a coincidence?

ahem.

Welcome to Soundtrackgate.

(AKA: The wild, wacky world where connections go way, way deeper than you could've possibly imagined, and it all still manages to lead back to byler in the end)

So, just by themselves, those three instances of matching soundtracks creating parallels between different scenes are pretty cool, and worthy of analysis. That's all well and good. But it gets a whole lot more complicated when I tell you that across those three examples, all the songs from those eight scenes I've pointed out match with each other too. The music playing during the J/ancy kiss syncs with the music from the R/ockie scene at the gun shop. The M/ileven kiss has music that syncs with the "It was a seven" scene. R/ockie making sandwiches has music in the background that syncs with the Byler van scene. They're all in the same key, B flat major.

I can prove that I'm not making this up in the form of some amazing mashups between four important OST songs. But before I show you those, let me take a step back and introduce you to the songs individually: Being Different, The First Lie, The First I love You, and Kids.

(I slowed them down so they're all the same speed). And I thought to myself, golly, these all sound pretty similar, they all have a pretty consistent pattern of eight quarter notes that get repeated over and over. (Listen closely, can you hear it?) I sure bet it would sound nice if someone combined them. So. I figured out how to edit audio and I did it myself XD

When I said they synced, I wasn't kidding. When I did my initial little experiment, I was not expecting the songs to, in no uncertain terms, match up perfectly, as if they were all variations of the same track, because the only thing I'd done was change the tempo a little bit between each of them. No splicing, no extra editing, no looping, no nothing. And they sound beautiful together!!! Here are my three favorites:

Putting all four together pushes my limits a bit and it comes out a tad messy, but I love it anyways. It's overwhelmingly clear that these four songs are meant to fit together.

So... what does this mean? The tracks are undeniably connected, and some of the scenes in which they occur are clearly parallels too. I mean, we've been ENDLESSLY analyzing parallels between R/ockie, Byler, and J/ancy, and this discovery lends more credit to the theory that those aren't just coincidences. But especially for major motifs like Kids, there are a lot more scenes where these songs play!! It's not just the few I mentioned at the beginning of the post that are pretty obvious in how they're similar to one another. Haha, but wouldn't it be crazy if ALL the scenes that these songs (and their variations) appear in followed the exact same narrative pattern; a pattern which would just so happen to offer extremely compelling evidence to the fact that Byler has been endgame since season 1?

Ha ha... ha... um.

They do.

All of them.

I'm not fucking joking. Out of the 22 scenes I've been able to track down which feature any of these four songs or variations of them, I've identified a pattern which every single one follows. Some definitely better than others... but it is un-fucking-deniable that this pattern exists and it has to be deliberate, because all of this being a coincidence must be some sort of statistical impossibility with the sheer amount of evidence I've amassed.

The pattern I'm referring to is a collection of four themes:

A misassumption / some form of dishonesty

Love. Often romantic, but sometimes platonic or familial

A subversion of expectations

An atypical relationship between two people

Often in that order.

So basically, we have a collection of scenes throughout all four seasons that are very strongly linked to each other, through both the music that plays during them, and the narrative pattern they follow. And theoretically, if we now know for a fact that each of these scenes follows the same pattern, we can use it to support our interpretations of moments like the van scene or "It was a seven"! (A pattern which, I'll remind you, will fall perfectly in line with Byler endgame)

Okay. So here, we get to the main chunk of the analysis. The hard data. I've gone through every relevant scene and listed how each of them fit the pattern, to prove that it's legit, and to use it to demonstrate how this discovery supports our theories! I've also added whether I think the scene matches well (✅), moderately well (🤔) , or poorly (❌) with the interpretation. (Keep in mind that even the ones that match poorly still relate to the themes in some way!) I sorted everything by motif, then into individual music pieces, then into scenes that feature that music. So scenes that have the same track playing in the background are grouped together.

Obviously, it's pretty long. I did my best to organize it well and make it as concise as possible. But that's why I'm adding a star (⭐️) next to all the scenes that explicitly support the Byler agenda, in case you want to scroll past the rest and only focus on what you came here for!

Without further ado, let's start out with...

The First Lie motif

The dominating melody in these tracks is: D D# D A# C F A# C

Track 1: The First Lie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S5-J7BLoIY)

Scene A: Jonathan And Nancy get together (S2E6) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Both of them are denying their feelings for each other • Love: And those feelings are romantic in nature • Subversion of expectations: They discover that their feelings are requited! • Atypical Relationship: Nancy, a popular and conventionally attractive character, ends up with Jonathan, the outcast

Track 2: The First I love You (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y68LnSZ_j3M)

Scene A: Robin and Steve talk in the Bathroom (S4E7) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Steve believes he has a chance with Robin, Robin hasn’t told him the whole truth about her sexuality • Love: Steve has feelings for her, she has feelings for Tammy, the two of them love each other as best friends • Subversion of expectations: Robin wants to kiss girls!!! And Steve is surprised, but wholly accepts her, even as a straight guy in the 80s • Atypical Relationship: Platonic soulmates <3

⭐️ Scene B: El Tells Mike she loves him and says goodbye (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Their relationship had been damaged by the fact that Mike lied in order to avoid seeing her / getting into trouble with Hopper • Love: El forgives Mike, says that she loves him, and tries to repair their relationship • Subversion of expectations: El admits to having heard Mike when he said that he loved her, back in episode 6 • Atypical Relationship: It wouldn’t be very atypical for a straight guy to get back with his straight girlfriend after a brief break-up, would it? So maybe this relationship isn't as hetero as it- [gunshots]

Scene C: Joyce and Hopper Kiss (S4E9) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Up until this moment they’ve been dancing around each other since season 1, not quite being honest or upfront about how they feel • Love: But now they finally have their moment and make it official! • Subversion of expectations: We’ve seen it coming for years, sure, but considering where they started, their relationship was an unlikely one • Atypical Relationship: Joyce, the high-strung, divorced, single mom, and Hopper, the troubled, divorced, adoptive dad, certainly make a unique pair together

Kids motif

The dominating melody in these tracks is: G A# F A# G A# F A#, and/or F G F D C A# C A#

Track 1: Kids (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha2OcL_0gtM)

⭐️ Scene A: The party finishes up their D&D game, “It was a seven” (S1E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Lucas urges Will to lie to Mike about his roll • Love: Little Will cares about his friendship with Mike too much to lie to him • Subversion of expectations: He’s honest, and admits that he only rolled a seven, even if it means he lost the campaign • Atypical relationship: Oh, you know. :)

Scene B: The kids disguise El so she can go out in public (S1E5) This scene doesn’t match very well ❌ • Misassumption/dishonesty: The kids are disguising El’s true identity so they can bring her to their school • Love: The four of them are beginning to trust one another; the boys trust El to help them find Will, they're bonding as friends • Subversion of expectations: The boys (but Mike specifically) are surprised with the degree of El's glowup • Atypical relationship: Mike thinks El is pretty, even though the rest of the party is still a little apprehensive towards her

Scene C: Mike, Lucas, and El make up after their fight in the previous episode (S1E7) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: El had been misleading the boys to keep them away from the lab • Love: The friends are all sorry for what they did, and care too much about each other to stay mad • Subversion of expectations: They’re able to reconcile • Atypical relationship: Even after a pretty serious fight, the friends are back together again, stronger than ever

Scene D: The party finally gets to play D&D again at the end of season 1 (S1E8) This scene doesn’t match very well ❌ (But, it’s excusable because the main purpose it serves here is to parallel the first scene from episode 1- matching this narrative pattern is probably a secondary concern) • Misassumption/dishonesty: The campaign is over too soon, the kids feel like it’s not a truthful finale; there are loose ends left to be resolved in the story • Love: The friends are finally back together again, having fun, enjoying each others’ company, healing • Subversion of expectations: Will is able to defeat the monster this time • Atypical relationship: Even after everything they went through, they made it out OK and are still the best of friends

Scene E: Dustin reminds Mike to look for some change before going to the arcade (S2E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Mike avoids Dustin’s questions of why he’s on an unusual channel on the walkie talkie, and why he hasn’t been looking for quarters to bring to the arcade • Love: Mike is still grieving El • Subversion of expectations: He hadn’t been looking for quarters because he was busy trying to contact her • Atypical relationship: He still feels guilty for having lost her, more so than the rest of his friends. He believes she’s out there, even after a year has passed

Scene F: The kids work together to assemble Cerebro (S3E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: The kids don’t quite believe Dustin is being honest about actually having a girlfriend  • Love: But he does! He actually is in a relationship • Subversion of expectations: Suzie doesn’t answer • Atypical relationship: A nerdy mormon and an agnostic with no collarbone; an unlikely pair!

Track 2: Kids Two (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PydvdEdGwE)

Scene A: El and Max spy on the boys (S3E3) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: The girls are secretly spying on the guys • Love: They’re talking about their relationship troubles • Subversion of expectations: They’re doing a terrible job of trying to win El and Max back; putting all the blame on the girls, talking about how they're a "different species", all while eating chips and generally being gross • Atypical relationship: Elmax bonds over having dumb ex-boyfriends, even after their friendship's rocky start in the previous season :3

Scene B: Robin sees Vickie at Warzone (S1E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Robin thinks she has a chance with Vickie  • Love: She’s about to make a move and talk to her crush… • Subversion of expectations: …but Vickie has a boyfriend. • Atypical relationship: Queerness!! And the fact that Vickie gets distracted by Robin, probably has a bit of a crush on her too, even though she's currently in a relationship

Scene C: Robin & Vickie make sandwiches (S4E9) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Robin is initially fairly certain now that she DOESN’T have a chance with Vickie • Love: But unbeknownst to her, they're almost definitely endgame • Subversion of expectations: Vickie admits that she ended things with her boyfriend  • Atypical relationship: Imminent 80s Lesbians!!!!!!!!

Track 3: Teens (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3JICAZAEBs)

Scene A: Suzie changes Dustin’s Latin grade (S4E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Suzie and Dustin are cheating his Latin grade by hacking into the school’s computer system  • Love: The two of them are still together :3 • Subversion of expectations: Suzie decides that her relationship with Dustin is worth more than being entirely morally virtuous, so she changes the grade for him • Atypical relationship: The unlikely pair of the mormon and the agnostic strike again!

Track 4: In The Closet (At Rink O Mania) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lwl-HPNQFLc)

⭐️ Scene A: Mike and Will argue at the roller rink (S4E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Mike’s upset that Will and El haven’t been honest about the bullying • Love: Will just misses his best friend and is upset that their relationship / communication over the past year has been strained. And he’s in love. • Subversion of expectations: “We’re friends! We’re friends.”(AKA, Mike has been struggling with his feelings just as much as Will has) • Atypical relationship: Queerness!! We can be fairly certain now that they totally feel the same way about each other, even if neither will admit it.  

Scene B: …but also El hides in the closet at the roller rink (S4E1) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: El had been hiding the fact that she was being bullied • Love: This lie has has driven a wedge even deeper between her and her boyfriend • Subversion of expectations: She decides to go confront Angela • Atypical relationship: El, the humiliated victim, decides to stand up to her bully, Angela, instead of letting her get the final word

Track 5: Home (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdcV1u6RUh4)

Scene A: Hopper takes El in (S2E3) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: Hopper wants to give El a place to stay where she can hide from the people looking for her / Hopper discreetly puts away a box labeled “Sarah”, hinting at a more personal reason for taking her in than he lets on • Love: He cares about El like he’d care for his own daughter  • Subversion of expectations: Even though he's a supposedly hardened and lazy police chief, he cares about El enough to go through the effort of fixing up the cabin to give her a place to stay • Atypical relationship: Found family :’)

Scene B: This song also plays during the scene where Robin sees Vickie at Warzone (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • [See Kids Two, scene B]

Track 6: What’s The Internet? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqx4idF4ObE)

Scene A: The Hellfire Club and Lucas’ team celebrate their victories (S4E1) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: The basketball team and the Hellfire club both thought they were screwed • Love: Despite the looming potential for failure, everyone’s having fun and feeling included within their groups, they love their hobbies and their friends • Subversion of expectations: Both teams won their respective games despite the odds! • Atypical relationship: Lucas still hangs in the balance between the two teams, feeling unsure about which of his friend groups he should prioritize

Track 7: [Unreleased song, but the Kids motif is faintly audible towards the end]

⭐️ Scene A: El and Mike argue over Mike not being able to say “I love you” (S4E2) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Mike’s refusing to acknowledge that he can’t say the words, he’s lying about how he really feels • Love: Their relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend is finally starting to show cracks, as its fundamental flaws are presented front and center • Subversion of expectations: Their relationship isn’t as perfect as we’d been led to believe • Atypical relationship: They’re on the verge of a breakup, but that's really what's best for the two of them

and finally...

Being Different Motif

The dominating melody in these tracks is: A# D F D A# D D# D, and/or A# D F A# D F A F

Track 1: Being Different (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o29YLtS_NA)

⭐️ Scene A: Mike and Will talk in the van (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Will lies, using El’s name to hide his own feelings • Love: And those feelings are his love for Mike :’( • Subversion of expectations: It’s now overwhelmingly clear that Will is canonically gay and in love with Mike  • Atypical Relationship: Well, it doesn’t sound all that atypical for the sad gay boy to have fallen for his straight best friend (who is obviously straight because he’s in a relationship with a girl), so what if Mike- [gunshots]

Track 2: I Like Presents Too (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trSjkqM0VT4) (I’m not positive about this one, but I swear I hear similarities between Being Different and this song? Especially between 1:52 - 2:05 in Being Different, and 0:38 - 1:00 in this song)

⭐️Scene A: This song also plays during the scene where El Tells Mike she loves him and says goodbye (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • [See The First I love You, scene B]

Okay. And that's all of them! I hope I've made my point. The fact that every single one of these 11 songs and the 22 scenes they appear in are connected both musically and thematically cannot be a coincidence. And by simply tracing the pattern, it's pretty easy to see that these connections hint at the fact that there's something more that we're not explicitly seeing between Mike, El, and Will's relationships, which has no other explanation besides Byler endgame. Let's review- by applying what we know about the pattern to Byler and M/ileven scenes, we can infer that:

When El kisses Mike at the end of season 3, it isn't meant to be taken at face-value. There's something atypical about their relationship, and it's the fact that despite saying the words, it doesn't change the fact that neither of them are in love with each other, not romantically, even if they think they should be.

When Will tells Mike he rolled a seven and lost the battle in the first episode of season 1, it's more than just Will being a good friend. There's a deeper connection- something atypical compared to Will's relationships with his other friends, because this is Will being in love with Mike before he even understood what those feelings meant.

During their fight at Rink O Mania in season 4, they're not just arguing about Will being dishonest or Mike not staying in touch. There's something deeper under the surface that they're dancing around, unaddressed feelings on both ends, something more atypical than just two friends who drifted apart. At the root of their frustration is the fact that they both believe the other doesn't feel the same.

Mike said it himself- when he and El argue over the fact that he can't say "I love you" to her, this was a fight they can't come back from. Because it's been made clear to them that their relationship isn't romantic anymore, it's atypical in the sense that they realize this whole thing between them has just been a heteronormative charade they were pressured into, rather than something they really wanted or needed.

When Will delivers his veiled love confession in the back of the van in season 4, we're led to believe that this is him ripping off the bandaid, because Mike is supposedly happiest with El and he'll never see Will the way Will sees him. But this interpretation is incorrect, because there's something very very atypical about the way Mike stares longingly into Will's eyes, completely mesmerized, in a way that he's never looked at his own girlfriend despite allegedly being so in love with her. Mike is in love, but there's no denying anymore that the love he feels is for Will, not El.

Of course, none of these interpretations of these scenes are new or anything. But the fact that we now have solid proof that all of them are actually intentionally connected? They all share linked music and follow the same pattern?? That, I think, is revolutionary.

But of course we're not done yet.

Because as lengthy as it is, this isn't a finished analysis. Now, if you've made it this far into my mad and delusional (yet strongly supported by evidence) rantings and ravings, you're probably just as excited about this breakthrough as I am. So if you're thinking about exploring the theory yourself, I have a few suggestions on where to start, because there's a good number of things that I haven't fully looked into yet! Most notably, there are several tracks that sound like they almost fit with the ones I already identified as being part of soundtrackgate, or they have similar vibes, but just aren't similar enough to make it into the list. Some of them I've tried to mix with The First Lie, Kids, etc, but came up empty-handed. There songs are:

Journalistic Instinct

Boys and Girls

Feel Safe

First Kiss

Presumptuous

My BOOBS Hurt

A Kiss

I wouldn't remember me either

Eight Fifteen

Walkin in Hawkins (i really really really hate this song for no justifiable reason please don't make me listen to it any more than I had to this is my one exception)

This Isn't You

Blank Makes You Crazy

Weirdly enough, out of these twelve, there are exactly three tracks from each season. Does that mean anything? No clue. Odd, though.

For all you eightfifteengate truthers, I tried really, really hard to mix the track Eight Fifteen with any of the established songs... but all I got was a pretty resounding muddy mess of a failure. Which sucks, because it sounds like it should work! Unfortunately, I don't think Eight Fifteen is part of soundtrackgate. However! I did notice that it sounds very very similar to the track Presumptuous, which is interesting. Here's the best I got, for what it's worth:

If you want to take another look at these songs and try to prove me wrong, please do!! Maybe there's a pattern within them that I didn't catch. And if you ask, I'll be happy to try my hand at combining any tracks you think would work together!

Other than that, there are a few interesting little details I noticed while perusing the OST. Maybe they mean something, maybe they don't, but I thought they were worth mentioning! Feel free to investigate if any of these pique your interest:

Like I mentioned earlier, Eight Fifteen and Presumptuous both contain the same melody

Blank Makes You Crazy and I Need You to Trust Me are both songs tied to scenes where we see evidence of the stained relationship between Mike and El, and they’re both in the same key; F Major

Not Kids Anymore plays during the Byler rain fight in s3, AND when Dustin and Mike refuse to go to Lucas’ game in s4

As far as I can tell, the song Destroying The Castle only plays one time other than when Will takes a bat to Castle Byers- it also plays in S4E9 when Hopper is about to use himself as bait for the demodogs, but assures Joyce that he’ll be alright 

On The Bus almost definitely does not match with any of the other songs, but I feel like this particular track is important and worth looking into regardless, so I’m mentioning it here.

You’re The Heart does not sound similar, mix well with, or parallel Being Different, let alone ANY of the established soundtrackgate songs. I just don’t hear it, sorry.

Eulogy and Letter to Willy sound very very similar

Journalistic Instinct and Boys and Girls sound very very similar

Still Pretty, the song that plays in season 1 when Mike reassures El that she looks pretty without the wig, also plays in season 4 while they talk in the pizza shop, right before they get interrupted by Argyle.

Okay. I think that covers it, for now. Thank you so much for reading, seriously, I poured my soul into this so it means a lot!!! I hope it all made enough sense. MASSIVE shoutout to what-song.com for its list of all the songs that appear in each ST episode, in order, complete with listing what minute each song appears in, providing a 30-second sample of each song, and a description of the scene that occurs during it. It SAVED MY LIFE no joke. Also big shoutout to bilibili.tv, my platform of choice for sailing the seven seas of content of questionable legality; I used it liberally to pull up all the scenes I had to analyze lol

#babe wake up new gate just dropped #soundtrackgate #but also seriously this is a huge deal and i do not say that lightly #it's a massive breakthrough into completely new territory #and it is anything but delusional #sit down strap in because this is long #my seven byler mutuals please don't let this flop #long post #for reference i'm a slow reader and this took me about 12 minutes to read (not including the time it takes to listen to the music) #anyway we can all agree that the song playing during byler's first kiss is going to be yet another variation of these songs right? #right #byler #stranger things ost #stranger things music #kyle dixon #michael stein #byler analysis #byler music #byler theory #stranger things analysis #stranger things

[momentomori24]

Ok, can I ramble about the Poison remix real quick? Cool, thanks. You're so supportive, I always appreciated that about you.

Anyway, I absolutely loved it. It was awesome. I can't believe they made an entire remix for a character's birthday, but they did and I'm so impressed by that. Adding Valentino to the song was honestly the best decision they could've made. Not only are his lines super addicting to listen to (that "good boy" lives rent-free in my head like DAMN), but the way they're used in the song feels so intentional and fitting it's brilliant.

The "I own you or have you forgotten that?" at the start sets the tone perfectly, hammering down that Angel's his property, that he's unable to get away from him no matter what. Val in the original, despite not actually singing in the song, is the consistent looming threat in every scene, and being reminded of the context of the situation from the beginning helps retain that ominous presence he brought to the table for a remix with no visuals. When Angel sings about how he feels himself disappearing due to acting becoming natural to him, you can hear distorted, small "Action" from Val in the background, as if signalling him to get into character before the cameras start rolling. Angel puts on an act and tries desperately to make it his identity even outside his work because it's how he has to be, especially around Valentino, and hearing Val order him to perform really emphasises that. And my absolute favourite part is when during the "What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself". Despite everything Val has put Angel through, despite being clearly deceived into something he didn't know would get this out of hand, he doesn't blame him-- he still blames himself for the decisions that have lead him to the position he's in now. And that internalised victim-blaming is met with positive reinforcement as Val praises him with a "good boy" (btw seriously that took me out like why does he have to sound so hot goddman). Val revels in control over his workers, even going as far as to use his and Vel's roofies to get them to behave. And should Angel do anything that even slightly appears to challenge his authority, he's not above using more physical means to put him in his place. When Angel agrees to get rid of Charlie and when he places himself between her and Val to stop her from fighting him and gets her to go, his submission and appeasement is rewarded with the temporary satisfaction of his captive, and it's still felt in the remix.

Poison is all in Angel's head. It's him lamenting his acting persona taking over his sense of self, his reflection on his relationship with Valentino and all the self loathing and resignation that comes with the revelation of how it will come to an end. It's a look into his psyche and that darkness he hides so damn well as he plays his part for his audience to a fault. While Val is an overwhelming presence in the song, he's only there visually; the vocals are entirely Angel and Angel alone. But in the Poison remix, Val's voice still lingers in the background. And what I like is that they aren't new lines-- they're things he's said to him before. Even in the safety of his headspace, his abuser's words still echo in his mind. Valentino still taints his thoughts, previous praises, orders or reminders reacting to and influencing his lyrics. Even in his own mind, he's still unable to escape him.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel poison #anyway here's my (late) birthday present for angel #happy (late) birthday king i'll draw you one day i promise #i was more inspired to make this post after seeing everyone dunk on the remix like NO it's good and i'll die on that hill #is this just me over analysing a remix? mayhaps. call me a simp. call me a shrimp. i just love it (and val i will never shut up about it) #pardon potential typos

[pitroig]

Some thoughts on JJK Season 2, Episode 1.

Two years later, we are finally here!

So, I've managed to avoid the leaks and I got to watch the first episode of the season, and overall, it left me with a bittersweet feeling. I was a bit overwhelmed, especially by the Gojo-Geto scenes, and I'm not a big fan of the new team of animators for this season. I preferred the ones from the first. But there are things that I really like, quite a lot, specifically three:

Look at her. Such a cutie. She is that friend we all have so naif, so pure, so good that we all love and protect.

Utahime. First and foremost, thank you, MAPPA, for giving us a little more depth to the character. All we knew about Utahime from the manga/anime was that she was a very composed woman, except when Gojo was around. Here, we see her dealing with her own weaknesses, much more insecure and hesitant, but competitive and brilliant. Additionally, contrary to the hyper-professional Utahime from the first part, she wears her emotions on her sleeve and keeps raising many questions about her development over the years: how she evolved so much, what she's really like when she's not working, and what her relationships with others are like. I mean, now she's even more interesting and waaaaaay cuter.

Hi, can--can I be your friend? 👉👈

The atmosphere and the personalities. I love that they have reproduced the carefree atmosphere of teenagers in those days, even with a line of work like theirs. It's a central element of JJK, to reclaim peaceful days for young people while they're still young, for them to be arrogant like Gojo, judicious like Geto, relaxed like Shoko, or just idiots in general. I think it's an excellent starting point and it will perfectly show the conflict that will arise later.

He is the brattiest brat in the history of brattiness and still, we love him.

The ending. I think it has been my favorite part of it all. I liked it much more than the opening (which has a more shojo tone) because it perfectly encapsulates the satosugu relationship and has a song that fits perfectly. It's full of details and I'd like to analyze it frame by frame, but I am focusing on the contrast between the antics of their age (the five of them playing at the arcades, betting on dinner at McDonald's which they end up losing), with the rain, which is basically the shit they deal with every day. Satoru appears protected and smiling in front of it, always with an umbrella in hand, but Suguru is hiding and appears pensive. As the first drops reach the water where the fish are swimming, one of them changes from white to black. It's a very good example of how the world of jujutsu affects both of them and what the consequences of that are.

So, looking forward to the next episode! Riko is going to be a great character.

#jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk anime #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #getou suguru #suguru geto #shoko ieiri #utahime #jjk utahime #utahime iori #analysis

[lemmingsunday]

Okay, so most of you wanted this. Here is the in depth analysis of how the bright eyes scene in watership down 1978 manages to evoke so many emotions.

(Under the cut)

So this analysis is mostly practice to improve my grade in english, so dont expect anything good.

So the scene starts out with hazels "death". I think the reason so many people thought he was dead to start with is because of how richard adams presents death within the book and by extension the film. In all cases of death in watership down, it is sudden. It starts off with violet in the cornfield, and fivers short statement of "violets gone". There is no greiving for her, no remembrance. The group keeps moving on. The same is with hollys memory of the warren, the rabbit whos throat is ripped out by woundwort (i think he was blackavar, but i cant be sure) and eventually hazel himself at the end of the film. The exception to this pattern is bigwig when he was caught in the snare, but he wasnt dead, and that scene wasnt as such a deception, but a way to keep the stakes high and further illustrate the corruption of man and the land. Hazels false death follows the trend of swift sudden death (and i could talk for hours about how this is to reflect the true fate of many animals and how the 2018 remake just couldnt capture that, but i cant rn), and so because the viewer already associates this with final death, they think hazel is gone (also causing a shit ton of childhood trauma but anyway). Another reason the death feels genuine is because the film isnt afraid to kill off characters (violet, the warren ect) while other films are, and so this already deviates from status quo.

Anyway, ramble over, on to the actual scene. So we have all these emotions and shock built up from this moment. Fiver (the moral heart of the story) is in shock. He doesnt believe it, hes in denial and begins to look for his brother. Then the animation begins to shift. It gently flows into that sort of abstract, pale style of fivers visions, the first hint to hazels life, and the first section of bright eyes starts to play. Now there is hope. This is different to every other framing of death, and is so beautiful/heartbreaking. Then the lyrics kick in. This really cements this scenes deviation from the tone of the film (but not in an way that feels out of place) and the viewer gets hope. If you really listen, the lyrics "how could a light that burned so brightly suddenly burn so pale" and "down the river of death" allude to hazels death, however this is juxtaposed to the imagery of fiver chasing the black rabbit/vision of hazel (they both appear at times). Both of these things represent the conflicting emotions within the viewer, and just fit in really beautifully, while showing that it isnt hazels time. The other rabbits dont get this, they dont get death leading a rescuer to them.The scene flits between fiver searching for hazel and younger, simpler version of the pair playing together, which reminds the audience that the two are indeed brothers and have the closest friendship in the group, which further adds to the pile of emotions going on and just ties everything together perfectly.

Forgot to add, but the fact that this song has lyrics is another deviation. Sorry for missing that and not having time to develope it.

Anyway, the ending. The music dies down and fiver approaches the farm. He rounds on to the pipe and we hear this deep, echoing heartbeat. Hazel is alive. I cant express just how perfect this ending is for that scene. There is just nothing to add. We dont need to see hazel or hear fiver say "hazels alive!" It is the perfect example of show not tell. The remake could only dream of being that good. The impact of that ending is just too good and satisfies the audience, while also keeping that sense of suspense and apprehension.

Thats going to be it, since i have to eat now, but i hope this satisfied the people who wanted this, especially you @kazbrekkerfast

Bye

#watership down #watership down 1978 #richard adams #long post #i spent too long on this

[riceybaby]

all about you #6 🤍 - cat got your tongue

synopsis: y/n and mason make another appearance out together, but the lines between what is real and what is an act are starting to blur

“Mason, Alexander McQueen is turning in his grave at the thought of you and your sweaty hands touching that dress. Keep them to yourself.”

You and Mason are at an outfit fitting for your album release party, which was in just a couple of days. The two of you posed for a few adorable photos before walking in the building, including ones of the two of you sticking your tongues out at each other before he picked you up and spun you around, the latter however was improvised by him on the spot. And just like your body, you felt your head begin to spin when he did it. To be honest, you already couldn’t wait for this deal to be over because constantly being this close to him and not letting yourself get feelings was proving harder than you thought.

“Ok fine. I’ll just sit here and watch you be all pretty then shall I, just pretend I’m not here” he fakes a dramatic sigh, giving you a cheeky grin as he sits down on one of the fancy chairs in the room. To say this wasn’t really his scene was an understatement, and so he had resided to running his hands through all the dresses, unsure what all the fuss was about.

“Can you…”

“Can I…?”

You didn’t want to get changed in front of Mason, yet the people dressing you were recording it as part of their YouTube series so you had to keep the act up even here, which had led to him coming in the changing room with you.

“Just turn around”

“You mean you’re not gonna let your boyfriend see you in your underwear? Am I that shit of a shag?”

“Mason! Please”

“Okay, okay” he chuckles, turning around the face the wall. He’s humming some song to keep him occupied, while you take your dress off the hanger. It’s a gorgeous red satin that perfectly accentuates your waist and tits, and quite frankly you look fucking hot wearing it.

You were now stood in just your underwear, and step inside the dress. The mirror clearly agreed with your thoughts about it as you couldn’t quite believe that was you looking this good. But as you go to zip the dress up, you find it’s just too far down so that it’s out of your reach.

“Um Mason, would it be ok if you just got the zip for me?” Your voice was quiet, after all you had still only known each other for 5 days and for all you knew he could be a judgemental prick. Maybe that was irrational, but still, this wasn’t a usual situation to be in.

“Yeah course” he says, turning around from the wall so that he’s now facing your exposed back. His left hand comes to rest with the lightest of touches against your hip, so gentle that if you couldn’t see it in the mirror in front of you, you wouldn’t have known it was there at all. His other hand takes hold off the zip, and begins to drag it up. Hot on your neck is his breath, the feeling making you jolt slightly along with his fingers accidentally grazing your back painfully slowly. He stands there behind you, and mumbles that he’s all done.

You look back into the mirror, dress completely on, looking as perfect as it did the last time. However that time you didn’t a man stood behind you, with a dumbstruck smile on his face, and for the first time since you met him his eyes weren’t on yours.

“You look..I mean you look..wow.” His voice cracks slightly with the last word, before he catches himself and his pride and changes his body language to act like he doesn’t care, arms coming up folded. Those big brown eyes are still running up and down your body though, not caring about how much he’s embarrassing himself right now.

“Cat got your tongue Mase?” you tease, trying to change the atmosphere before you say something you shouldn’t. You look hot in this dress, and it’s something you knew and now he knows too. Him acknowledging that though does not mean that he feels any particular way about you, and if your head could realise that it would be appreciated.

“No. You look fucking gorgeous. You’re the prettiest fake girlfriend I’ve ever had.” He says the last part in a sarcastic tone, but the rosy tint that had come across his cheeks was nothing of a joke. He suddenly feels like it’s getting incredibly hot in this room, his pulse going what feels like a million miles an hour, and turns back to sit in his chair to distract himself. One dress should not be affecting him this much. He knows that as soon as the two of you were out later for dinner whatever the hell was going on in his stomach would settle, but he couldn’t deny that this moment had done something to him that he wasn’t expecting.

But to you, the sarcastic tone was just proof that he didn’t like you like that, you were here to do a professional job and you desperately need to get that into your head before you get yourself hurt. My god, was Mason Mount about to be the death of you.

#chelsea fc fanfic #chelsea fc imagine #england nt fanfic #england nt fic #england nt imagine #chelsea fc fic #mason mount fic #mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount fluff #mason mount imagine

[enamelon]

Ok so first like I was listening to Tomcat Disposables and I am so smart for making that Darnold's song especially because "Do I belong in right and wrong?" because he couldn't bring himself to kill anyone, all he wanted was to be strong and fly kites and to "mind his own" literally "mind me not and I'll/mind my own my/mind's not one bite smaller or lesser then yours" I hope this makes sense because like it does fit him he just wants to be happy he didn't want all this!

And like for Forzen she also just wants to go home, he just wants to graduate but he's actively fighting because he has no choice in the matter and like I dunno I don't have any particular lyrics but when I think of him I think of "Am I being detained?/Am I under arrest?/Read me my rights please!/I want my phone call!" because it just it just fits

Ok so while Sububia Overture is obviously like...the glue song but the lyrics "So give your half-life crisis/I can tell you know where paradise is" perfectly mirror the Coomer clones scene (someone pointed this out to me but I can't remember who), so does "Guess it's true that a snowflake only matters in a blizzard!" and also the ending bit Love me, normally just.... "Giveth and taken away till things turn out a certain way/leave you wondering when they might go back to normal/Leave you wondering why they can't have just been normal" is just too perfect.

I have to leave for a bit but ll leave you with these then agress the other ones later

YESYESYES YEAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! i love all of these thoughts so much, some of mine is under the cut hehe

I TOTALLY SEE THE SAME STUFF FOR DARNOLD YIPPIE!!!!! i also think of the “I expect no dreams/And no sweet goodbye to me” being like him pre-au feeling forgotten by everyone because they don’t come back for him!!!!! he cut ties but he still feels a little sad from his expectations!!!!!! i also have like thoughts of like a fanmade ending where they’re all transferred to this like better program where they’re better and i think of everyone going to see him after he wakes up and he just tears up because everyone cared about him after all……

i love the thoughts for forzen teehee i think of those lyrics being the interrogation the science team does and gordon’s just so annoyed while this kid who wants to graduate and leave won’t shut up about beyblades and irate gamer akdjskjshdj

EDIT: OH I FORGOT A FORZEN THING when he’s like “You appear familiar dear/You look just like my bathroom mirror” i like to think he’s saying gordon reminds him of himself rather than sunshine like everyone else, this has turned into a hc of mine where he’s the only one who can immediately tell the difference between the two, everyone’s confused while he’s like “wdym they look totally different”

OUUGH. suburbia overture okay. i like this song a LOT and it’s a pretty long one so this will have a lot more

i think of suburbia overture being like. an introduction to the town? if that makes sense? a nice cheery and slightly creepy introduction of coomer and the town and everyone that lives in it! imo i thought of “So give me your half life crisis” directly referencing half life and coomer spinning around sunshine while basically being like “the half life you might have expected isnt here its ok to still be sad about it but we’re here to help!” the “What is he building in that painted lady/A participation trophy wife or blonde, blue-eyed baby” makes me think of coomer looking at bubby working on his rocket in the backyard and daydreaming about how life would be if they could make it out hehe <3 “Home is where the heart is/You ain’t homeless but you’re heartless” also makes me think of sunshine and how he was artifically made rather than being an actual person in the real world like gordon, “The dog bites the postman while basement eyes dream/Of a night at the drive-in with an AR-15” makes me think of coomer just looking up at the night sky knowing damn well it’s not real and not being able to keep his happy façade up, unrelated but i like to think on one of the “suburbiaaaaa”s coomer slides in front of benrey to give himself a dramatic lighting hehe benrey’s just like wtf in the back lmfao

HEHE YES VAMPIRE CULTURE!! if anything makes me think of the coomer clones THIS SONG IS IT. this whole song to me is like coomer’s anger showing through and how he can’t handle being in a fake reality anymore!!!!!!! i also think of him like tango-ing with the real gordon and singing about his wine-red blood in the lyrics about blood hehe “You don't make the rules, you just write them down and/Do it by the book you throw around!” ALSO MAKES SO MUCH SENSE W HIM SAYING THIS TO GORDON AND CALLING HIM OUT FOR HIS MORALITY DO YOU UNDERSTAND.

love me normally makes me SO ill like. can you see coomer feeling bad and looking up at the night sky again? but with sadness rather than anger? “The Lord looked down, said, ‘hey, you're only mortal’” just makes me think of gordon saying this to coomer and i auuuughhhhh…… they both just want to live and love normally….. i think of gordon hugging coomer at the end too because i’m SAPPY dammit anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk

#project mary bell township au #hlvrai #gmilfwhore #[ asks ]

[aureentuluva70]

Spoilers for Rings of Power Ep 5: Partings

I must admit, this is the only episode so far that I'm kind of 'eh' about. Mostly because of the whole mithril-being-tied-to-the-fate-of-the-elves thing. But I'm going to put that aside for now and save it for last. First I'm going to talk about the highlights of this episode.

-----------------------------

The song This Wandering Day is absolutely beautiful and I have been listening to it on repeat constantly. It feels so Tolkienesque, and with the gorgeous cinematography of the landscapes the harfoots travel through, it fits perfectly. I hope the show continues to have songs like this one, especially considering the importance of music woven into the very fabric of Arda. Also, just as a quick analysis, these parts of the song remind me of Sam and Frodo's journey to Mordor thousands of years later."Past eyes of pale fire, black sand for my bed. I trade all I've known for the unknown ahead...of drink I have little, and food I have less. My strength tells me no, but the path demands yes! My legs are so short and the way is so long. I've no rest or comfort, no comfort but song." It just captures the two hobbit's struggle so well I doubt it's a coincidence. And of course how can I forget "at last comes their answer, through cold and through frost, that not all who wonder or wander are lost. No matter the sorrow, no matter the cost, that not all who wonder or wander are lost." I love the idea of that song being passed down over time, which Bilbo took inspiration from when writing the Strider poem.

Given how he acts in the harfoot storyline scenes, I'm starting to lean more into the theory of him being one of the wizards. He seems very self aware of the danger his powers pose to others, even pointing to himself and saying "I peril?" He seems genuinely worried about hurting others, something I can't imagine a malicious character like Sauron doing. Not to mention he protects the harfoots from the wolves, or whatever they are. Even when he accidentally starts freezing Nori's hand, he doesnt seem to realize he's doing it, and appears to feel bad about it afterwards. Perhaps thats why the wizards use staffs then? To channel their powers in a less dangerous way? But you can't forget the scene of the three mystics appearing at the Stranger's crash site, who are most likely Sauron's followers. One of the women there is holding something that has the same constellation the Stranger showed to Nori and Poppy. Do they think the Stranger is Sauron, and are tracking him down, only to find out it's not him? Or do they see him as a threat, and that's why they're searching for him? Either way it's bad news.

‐------------------------

Valandil to Isildur: "I hope you find something that you would be willing to sacrifice anything for."

Me, having ptsd flashbacks to Fellowship of the Ring when Isildur refuses to throw the ring into the fire: Oh no. No No No No NO NO NO NO. HECK. NO. THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO ME.

Also, Ontamo(one of Isildur's friends) confidently stating that "I wager it'll all be over by the time I get off the boat!" and the numenorean soldiers' very lighthearted attitude about going to war reminds me a lot of how young men during WWI thought the war was going to go. They thought it was going to be a fun little adventure and that they would come back home as war heroes, not the bloody, awful conflict that it turned out to be, either killed in the battles or left with a lifetime worth of trauma. Out of the three of Tolkien's close school friends, only one came back alive, Christopher Wiseman, and even then their friendship was never the same again. Though Tolkien would go on to name one of his sons Christopher after his friend.

Fun fact, you know who Isildur's close friend's name is? Valandil. Which just so happens to be the name of one of Isildur's sons. Crap, does this mean Valandil is going to get killed off at some point?

--------------------

The whole "mithril being tied to the fate of the elves" theory that Gil Galad seems convinced by and the song of hithaeglir now has me convinced that Sauron is none of the characters that we've seen onscreen as of yet, but already working with and tricking Celebrimbor. Tricking them into thinking that they need this valuable resource as fast as possible or else they'll all die, creating a divide between Elves and Dwarves and awakening Durin's Bane in the process, and providing the materials needed to make one of the elven rings? Sounds just like something Sauron would do.

Elrond himself says that the tale is considered apocryphal, and with the amount of times people have lied or at least only revealed a portion of the truth or telling others that they have been lied to("you have been told many lies. Some run so deep, even the rocks and the roots now believe them" comes to mind) in this show, I wouldn't be surprised if this tale was the same: Just fiction and nothing more. Even the way the story is shown through animation rather than a flashback seems to prove that it's just a legend, not actual truth. (I've seen people suggest that the prologue could actually be unreliable narration on Galadriel's part, and I dont think I'd be surprised if it was)

And the way the story presents good and evil as more yin and yang that when clashed together can create something new rather than matching Tolkien's philosophy of "Evil is only the absence of Good" and "the Shadow can only mock it cannot make" is a major red flag to me. I suppose it could be an allusion to Iluvatar telling Melkor that whatever evil he does, he's only adding to Eru's glory but I'm not too sure.

I guess I'm just confused as to why Gil Galad would believe the story. His entire characterization in this episode confuses me. It could be similar to Galadriel where over the course of the show we see her change and grow from a prideful warrior into a wiser sorceress, so I'm not jumping the bandwagon just yet when it comes to Gil Galad's characterization. It very well may be a part of his growth as a character. But that doesn't dismiss the fact that he was something of a jerk to Elrond in this episode, using his friendship with Durin to find out if they found mithril. Talk about manipulative. Like, you could have just told Elrond about your problem beforehand, it's not exactly that hard! (Even the way he called Elrond "peredhel" sounded like an insult)

Honestly, I think we're gonna have to wait and see how this goes before making any final judgements about it.

---------------------

Glad to see Theo finally got some sense knocked into him and stayed with his mother andi showed Arondir the dagger. The boy still has some logic left in that head of his! I really liked his interactions with Arondir. Heaven knows that boy needs a good father-figure in his life.

Adar continues to be as mysterious and fascinating as ever, but we have gotten more info on what he's trying to accomplish here. He talks about how he is going to miss the sunlight and wishes the orcs could feel it the same way as he does. He seems to want to create a place where Orcs can walk freely, that place becoming Mordor, and the dagger is the key to it all. My theory is that the season will end with the eruption of Mt. Doom, cloaking all the southlands in ash and shadow. Before that time Galadriel and the forces of Numenor have already arrived in defense of the low men of the Southlands, managing to save them, and are there to witness the eruption. There's even a photo of Galadriel covered in what looks to be ash:

And these two of Galadriel presumably in the Southlands:

(And at last we finally get an answer as to where Galadriel got that armor! I seriously wish we could have seen her reaction to it though. Seeing the distasteful look on her face before she reluctantly accepts it would have been peak comedy. Also if Elrond were to see her wearing it would be pure gold. I can see him smirking now...)

#Rings of Power #Nori #Poppy #The Stranger #Sauron #Elrond #Galadriel #Gil Galad #Durin #Arondir #Theo #Isildur #Valandil #Tolkien #Frodo #Sam

[yavknowsnothing]

Dark! Percy Part3

(Sorry I didn't post for a while because of study, but I'm back!

(Hope you like my work!

Percy always feels good when he's on board, especially when Annabeth's beside him. This time he held Annabeth by her waist, and she leaned on his shoulder. As they watched the beautiful views of the Atlantic from the deck, the young couple enjoyed a quiet moment together. It was noon and the bright sun shines on Annabeth's hair. Percy looked at her fascinatedly, the sunshine on her blond hair made her shine and beautiful like a goddess. Percy could say that because he had seen quite a few goddesses before. Percy really enjoys every moment he spends with his girlfriend, no, his wife. Yes, they'd got married, and this was their honeymoon. They planned to take a sailing trip across the Atlantic Ocean. Percy wanted to take Annabeth to his father's palace. Both Percy and Annabeth thought the trip would be wonderful. A peaceful vacation, some private time with each other, sounds so perfect. To Annabeth, the wedding was still like a dream. It was such an unforgettable moment in her life. Though she thought about that in her mind countless times, it still surprised her very much. She loved her wedding dress. It's sea-green in color -- the color of Percy's eyes and decorated with grey pearls. Piper was the designer. At first, Annabeth didn't like the idea of a full wedding dress, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, she changed her mind immediately. She saw beauty in front of her. The wedding dress fit her body so well and showed her body curve perfectly. Piper designed clothes and makeup for both Percy and Annabeth, but she kept Annabeth's wedding dress design a secret to give Percy a big surprise. Other friends also offered help. Leo built the scene, Hazel created beautiful special effects and many other friends offered different help. Even Poseidon gave them support. He made the waves the shape of hearts, stars and shells. Perfect for his son's wedding, right! The wedding took place on the shore of CHB. That day, Percy rose from the sea. He was wearing a white shirt and a beautiful grey suit decorated with white glitter. He stepped on the shell-shaped platform Leo built. At the same time, Annabeth walked toward him. She was afraid of the idea of walking on the sea, but Percy promised her it would be okay and interesting. She stepped on the waves by the sound of her friends singing some cute campfire songs. When she finally hit the platform, Percy held her hand and took her to the wedding MC. The shell platform began to close and it stopped at a perfect angle. They swore the oath and kissed each other. Annabeth never immersed herself in so much peace and happiness before. This was their second day on the trip. Life wasn't boring. Whenever Annabeth wanted some entertainment, just asked Percy, then he would take her diving. Annabeth loved the cute fish they met underwater. And if she wanted, Percy would call them to gather around them. Then they played with them. Percy was enjoying the tasty blue cookies from his mother when he felt something wrong. Some unwelcomed strangers stepped onto his ship. When he met their face, he knew that this was unexpected and he felt unconditionally terrified. Stood behind him were several dolphin warriors. Yes, dolphin warriors were created by Mr. D. He did that for punishment, but it didn't seem to work. For these crazy dolphins were still arses. Seeing them, Percy knew what could happen next. A golden gorgon mask appeared like it was one of Percy's most horrible nightmares. But now it became a living reality. Last time Percy and his friends played a good show to defeat this enemy. But this time, there were only two people, and their biggest hero, Frank, wasn't there. A familiar sound escaped from behind the mask, a sound of delight, and the one who embarrassed him was now comfortably in his bare hand. "Perseus Jackson, so glad to see you again." As dolphin warriors quickly tied their hands, Annabeth's head ran fast, trying to think of a plan. But now her head was blank. She remembered last time Percy fooled these dolphin soldiers by…some cola??? Crazy plans only her crazy boyfriend's brain could think about. "This time who is your captain? Dionysus? Zeus? Athena? Or my, yeah also your, damn dad Poseidon?" Chrysaor sneered at Percy. Annabeth tried to speak something to get some time, but they even not gonna give her time to speak. One of the dolphin warriors grabbed some nasty gag and put it into her mouth. She looked at Percy but found that he was forced not to speak, too. Oh great, she thought, guess now we can only use brain waves to communicate.

(Sorry I wrote too much about the wedding but I can't help it cuz I really love the idea of wedding and I want it to be wonderful

#percy jackson #percabeth #dark percy #dark!percy #PJO #PJOverse #PJO/HOO #annabeth chase #percy and annabeth #percy jackson fic

[hypnohumanoid-blog]

time for my tardis is a radio station au

TARDIS is a radio sation. doctor's companions fit perfectly as co-hosts, so that's what jack and rose are. after rose's disappearance, jack is a regular guest who captivates the audience's hearts. doctor: you're on air! a caller: finally! can you say hello to jack for me? no one sees it, but jack has such a victorious expression that it's painful to watch. "no rose we will not invite him to the show and yes he has a lot of great stories and a charming smile you met while he was selling you a non-existent antique relic at my request and yes he is a specialist rose no" when jack runs in with two coffees as an apology and a martini for himself, the doctor gets him on air and even though he kicks jack out when it's barely over, rose calls back the next day the fact that episodes with jack's appearance are getting more views than any of his hits the doctor to the core every time he sees the stats doctor: who drank all the coffee? rose: oh, it was jack. he worked overtime last week. doctor: he's getting fired. rose: we can't fire people just because you're too lazy to fill the coffee machine, doctor.

when the doctor vindictively doesn't fill up the coffee machine on precisely the day jack needs to work overtime, jack swaps sugar and salt and the doctor angrily spits the rest of the day jack is like "how do you like my new recipe" and the doctor is this close to kissing/hitting him doctor: you add alcohol to your coffee? jack: right now are non-working hours! doctor: sharing is caring doctor: jack, there's milk in my coffee jack: and? doctor: i don't drink coffee with milk jack: oh yeah! well, you'll remember this the next time you do your coffee yourself. jack, watching the doctor add 7 cubes of sugar to tea: someday you'll get diagnosed with diabetes. doctor: not before you'll drink yourself to death. a caller: hi, this is TARDIS? jack: it sure is! i'm jack harkness, and what's your name? ;) doctor: STOP IT

the TARDIS is the only workstation of the Gallifrey radio company after a massive disaster (including notable losses and blowed up buildings) initially, the doctor worked on a completely different project and almost forgot about his internship inTARDIS, but because of the disaster, he returns and is given almost absolute creative freedom which allows him to drastically change the station’s schedule half an hour before the broadcast, chat about anything of interest and somehow get access to news and songs that should be released at least half a day later jack, thanks to a murky past and an education suited for running and fixing things like components of the TARDIS, becomes a purveyor of on-air prep, fresh gossip and credible commentary rose thought the building abandoned, but after a brief explanation and assurance that no, this is not a drug den, she joined the TARDIS has an entire floor dedicated to the studio, with no rooms other than for recording and equipment, where the jack regularly fumbles and delights in somehow one hundred percent working ancient exhibits somewhere in all the rubbish, jack finds a gramophone and becomes delighted with the fact that someone else keeps such junk. rose and doctor dance to the music from it, once the gramaphone is repaired. after a tense scene, when jack is recalled to cardiff for a showdown (which took place, among other things, because of the doctor), the doctor changes the lock and when jack returns a couple of years later, his key does not fit, and neither music nor voices echo from inside he, of course, like any reasonable person, picks the lock and waits for the doctor for a year - becoming the host of another radio station, TORCHWOOD, because of course doctor took the spirit of the TARDIS with himself. i don’t know what to do with the timline, but i really want jack to be in a war for those two years, maybe taking place not in cardiff bonus if the doctor has experience as a war survivor (you can hear me sigh in ukrainian) bonus 2.0 if doctor and jack fight and then bond because of it bonus 3.0 if the doctor was helped survive the war by working in gallifrey and when the company collapses before his eyes and possibly because of him, it fucking hurts in short, i want the doctor to fuck up and get fucked up because of this, to fuck up jack. yet jack continues to cling to him until the Confrontation happenes and carefully, dancing on broken glass, they try to coordinate in a new cracked relationship without rose, because that rose is no more and they both mourned.  still, when music from an old gramaphone plays like on that very evening, they dance to the quiet rumbling of mechanisms, to soft sighs and unspoken lyrics, they dance and something shatters between them, letting them breath

#doctor who #jack harkness #jack x doctor #the doctor #au

[the-al-chemist]

On Reflection - Author’s Notes

The Circle of Khanna may be officially on a week’s hiatus because of @kathrynalicemc’s Lineage Challenge, but Chapter 14 seemed like a good place to take a breath. Not only does this chapter mark the 2/3 point, but it also is the start of a bit of a shift in tone for the story. It is also one of my favourite chapters of Year 6, has gone through a lot of changes since the start of my writing, and had a lot of thought put into it, to the point that there is even concept art!

So, without further ado, welcome to the director’s cut that no one asked for or even wanted! Cut below for spoilers for The Hexley Saga Y6C14: Reflection, and mentions of grief and trauma.

I am not a natural angst writer. The first piece of angsty/dark writing I included for the Saga was Y3C4: The Problem with Penny, and I hated it. But, in the process of writing the scene in which Penny tells Artemis about the night she witnessed the death of her cousin Scarlett, I came up with the idea for a similar scene following the death of Rowan. Originally, the plan was for this scene to echo the first one, but instead of Artemis fetching Penny back from the Room of Requirement, it would be the other way around.

The problem was that this scene didn’t allow Artemis what she really needed to start to move on: a way to come to peace with the guilt she felt over Rowan’s death, a chance to say goodbye, and Rowan’s blessing for her to move on. In the HPHM game, there is the Headboy/Headgirl sidequest that allows the MC to do those things. There is no way that Artemis is Headgirl material, nor did I like the idea of Rowan appearing as a ghost or vision, so I had to come up with an alternative.

The idea of using the Mirror of Erised actually came to me before the Mirror of Erised TLSQ was dropped, but I have taken this scene as my compulsory nod to this sidequest. It fitted my idea perfectly - Rowan alive and well and forgiving is exactly what Artemis would see in the Mirror of Erised, the Mirror canonically is kept in the Room of Requirement, and Artemis does require this moment.

There was only one problem with including the mirror: Penny. Because, as much as I adore Penny, she would not be able to focus on Artemis as soon as the Mirror came into play. The scene would shift to what Penny saw in the Mirror of Erised, and that wasn’t what was needed here.

The focus had to stay on Artemis and Rowan’s reflection in the Mirror, and there was only one character who could allow that here, because there was only one character who would be able to stand next to Artemis (just stand there and be with her, even in what is arguably her lowest moment ever) in front of the Mirror of Erised and not realise that this was not just any old mirror. That character was, of course, Charlie.

After deciding to include Charlie instead of Penny, the scene began to take shape in my mind. It gave me a choreography, because Charlie had to have his back towards the Mirror whilst Artemis was shouting at him, and it meant that Artemis could get to a far darker place and still be able to be brought back from the brink. It allowed for her to really let out every bit of rage and the tears, and thereby start to allow herself to heal. I drew the concept art that night, and wrote a very rough draft the scene down immediately after, until I eventually fell asleep at around 3am.

The scene was inspired by three things, all of which are referenced in the concept art:

Chapter 12 of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, in which Harry discovers the Mirror, and Dumbledore warns him of the dangers of believing in what you see in it.

The song “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac (I’ve been needing to bite my tongue for months after @gaygryffindorgal posted that this song reminds her of Artemis. When I said that the song inspired a chapter of the Saga, this is it!)

The Season 6 episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer “Grave”, specifically this scene, also known as “The Yellow Crayon Speech”, in which Xander brings Willow back from the point of complete destruction, just by offering his stoic and unconditional love and friendship.

The scene also references Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (the book Artemis reads to Rowan, chosen partly for because it was previously referenced in Y2C3: The Black Quill, and partly because the specific line I took from the book is very fitting to this moment), and Sally Rooney’s Normal People (specifically the moment in which Marianne asks Connell who his best friend is, and he simply replies “you are”, and then I start ugly crying). It is probably the scene that made me want to keep writing this story when I got to the point of being so emotionally exhausted that I nearly gave up - which happened several times, like I say, I don’t do well with angst - and I’m incredibly proud of it. So I just wanted to tell you all about it.

As always, thank you for reading, and sorry for going on.

Al x

Links:

LANDSLIDE

THE YELLOW CRAYON SPEECH

#al speaks #al doodles #artemis hexley #hogwarts mystery #hphm fic #charlie weasley #hphm #rowan khanna #behind the scenes #directors cut #the hexley saga

[world-cinema-research]

A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day’s Night (1964), was intrinsic to the success of The Beatles. In modern times, they need little introduction, but this film functions as a culmination of their worldwide fame obtained at the beginning of their career. Released four years after their inception, Beatlemania was at its peak, and director Richard Lester’s approach to the film perfectly encapsulates the public attitude towards the Beatles. Being that they were essentially a boy band at the time, and their more complex works from their later years hadn’t been made, the Beatles were prime subjects for a quick, lucrative production. Given that this film was released in tandem with their third album of the same name, A Hard Day’s Night, it’s not far-fetched to say that this film was conventional in terms of its subject matter. The actual style, however, I’d say is fairly unconventional. While most films focused on real musicians opt for the documentary style and stick to actual events, Hard Day’s Night embraces the quirks of the band members to create a hectic and irreverent look into a day in the life of the hottest musicians of 1964. The line the film rides of exaggerating each member to the point it’s almost cartoony and still keeping it intimate, as the dialect of the Beatles themselves is almost impenetrable to an outsider. A lot of the terms used here I had to research, and I appreciated this choice in the long run. It added to the authenticity of the film, which I think is what really stood out to me. 

I was surprised at first to see this film alongside others that are suggested in this course when I learned what it was about. Admittedly I was not expecting what I got, and at the most I thought I’d just be getting an inoffensive and by the numbers movie about the Beatles. How many times I laughed while watching this was definitely unexpected. It kept my interest and comedic visuals and delivery stood out as well-timed and well executed. From what I could find, many critics agreed that this film was more than what it seemed. The Beatles’ debut film, written by TV writer Alun Owen, is well regarded because of its writing.

Jake Cole’s 2014 review of this film brought up an interesting point, as the film’s lack of reverence in how they portray the Beatles heavily benefits the tone. What could have been a cheesy and toothless movie about the squeaky clean and friendly pop icons is instead a satirical look into how four young men navigate a level of popularity that is unfathomable to most. Cole sums it up well in his review, stating “Heading off detractors at the pass, the film answers the question posed by adults, “How did these scruffy, hare-brained vulgarians become so popular?” with “Your guess is as good as ours.” (Cole). This retrospective review echoed my thoughts almost exactly, as Cole also addresses the cinematography in A Hard Day’s Night. The camera work and shot composition does not appear hastily planned, as the fast cuts and sped up montages brought a lot of energy to this film. Many scenes in this film felt like a music video. The stylistic choices in this are described by Cole as “The other great visual sequence, of the band frolicking in a field to “Can’t Buy Me Love,” employs film speeds redolent of silent-era works—not out of conscious effort, but because the camera’s battery was dying and so the frame rate slowed as the operator shot the band.” (Cole). Aside from the impromptu nature of this choice being very fitting for such a scatter-brained film, the style Cole references here was seen repeatedly in French New Wave films at the time. In the NoFilmSchool article, Jason Hellerman breaks down the traits of these movies, as he states “Techniques included fragmented, discontinuous editing, and long takes that allowed actors to explore a scene. The combination of realism, subjectivity, and commentary allowed these movies to have ambiguous characters, motives, and even endings that were not so clear-cut." (Hellerman)

The emphatic cuts and the inclusion of many outtakes and mistakes in the final product in A Hard Day’s Night are reminiscent of French New Wave films. Even the premise can be seen as an imitation of New Wave films, as there is little in the way of plot or intense conflict. At first glance A Hard Day’s Night may seem like a conventional and quick cash-in movie to spread Beatlemania to every corner of the world, but it is a deceptively smart film. The film is refreshing in its self-awareness, and it has aged very well in my opinion. I regret my first assumptions about this film, and I’m happy that I actually found a lot of enjoyment in this movie. A Hard Day’s Night was a nice surprise, and the songs definitely helped.

#Youtube

[panigamermauser]

Thoughts about cut stuff part 5.

Guardian, Daisy and Tadpoles with consequences.

So, I absolutely love what they did with Guardian. 10/10 no comments or changes here.

But I miss Daisy very much tho. And cut content suggests that Guardian and Daisy could coexist. Let me explain under the cut.

Aka WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALL scream.

So, for people who didn't experience Early Access, a quick recap.

Daisy introduction was very different from Guardian. You had a very nice scene in the meadow by the river (and apparently, the song 'By the River' WAS about Daisy all along!).

Daisy was coming very hard onto you. They were a very obvious trap. But oh so tempting💖 Especially when you were actively prompted to make 'your desire' instead of just 'guardian' in character creator. So ofc you were making what you thought was attractive. Which made whole scene very appealing indeed😏

And to make matters worse (in the very best sense!) your companions had their own versions of them.

Cannot remember Lae's for the life of me. But Astarion had Cazador. Wyll had Myzora and Gale had Mystra. Which hit you like a truck, right in the feels💔💔💔

Astarion was SO ANGRY you got 'a wet dream' while he got the worst nightmare of his life💔💔💔

Shadowheart was weird for me as she said 'someone I am attracted to', and I got a vibe she was talking about Tav. 

I am not sure if it was because of high approval (Shadowheart was always ride or die for my Tav. I never had low approval with her once), so I do not know if she said something different when it was low.

Anyways, you got this feeling of 'wow I lucked out. I got a thirst-trap, and those three got their abusive exes instead'.

Not going to lie, I was looking forward angst and horror of Astarion's origin with Cazdor!Daisy.

Of course, even your nice dream felt like a clear trap, so there was little to no incentive to slurp tadpoles.

So I get why it was changed. Even if I am sad for the loss extra angst of Astarion, Gale and Wyll origins, it was objectively better intro of a character. And I made my peace with it at release.

But... from datamine we learn that Daisy WAS out tadpole and not the Emperor. So they are two totally different and separate characters. So there's no reason for them to not exist in the game world together!

And there was supposed to be an ending option of us falling for Daisy and turning into Illithid who is a part of hivemind too (similar to when you kill Emp at the beginning of Act3).

And now I wish we had Daisy back, as it offers an even better Emperor intro!

So, how to reconcile the two? Make Daisy appear in early Act1, like it was in Early Access, but then make Guardian intervene to save you.

Even if your character resists Daisy at every turn instead of giving in, make it harder each time. Eventually(maybe on third manifestation?) require only a nat20+get player to roll at a disadvantage at the same time. So when your roll fails, you get magic D20 appear and subdue/take over Daisy's form (add a line of 'since you find this form appealing, I'll keep using it' or smth like this, to preserve the mystery of Guardian's identity).

And then you get Guardian scenes as normal. Literally nothing would change after that. If anything, your char will be inclined to trust them even more.

Yes, it would require some obligatory Long Rests. But they are needed for companion scenes anyways, and it would allow to bring back Exhaustion mechanic (that was in the game and was cut too). I just think it would be neat in general. And it would make sure players do not miss out on game content!

And it would also explain why Astarion is so eager to slurp tadpoles - Guardian would literally save him from phantom Cazador!

(NGL I want Daisy return more for companion origins than Tav. Don't get me wrong, I adore original Daisy. It fits perfectly with 'horny on main' personality of Wysteria. But think of the ANGST for Astarion, Gale and Wyll origins and cry with me!)

I think Larian folks are perfectly able to do it. It would require just one new cutscene of Guardian vs Daisy. Daisy cutscenes were done long ago. So just use them and make one more to bridge Daisy to Guardian change.

But I do not think they will do it. They made their decision to rewrite the whole thing. And they chose not to combine those two stories, whatever their reasons were.

And as I said, Guardian storyline is superb as is. It's just datamine really makes me wish for a perfect world where we could have both 😭

What they really SHOULD add back is some tadpole-slurping consequences. 

Right now the only consequence is cosmetic. And only with astral tadpole. You can unlock all low-lvl extra abilities with absolutely zero downsides to you.

So if you play a character who resists the temptation - you get absolutely nothing for your loss of extra powers.

I feel like there should be a narrative trade-off. Giving into power should lock you out of certain endings, at the very least. Maybe even make you into Emperor's thrall (similar to being Astarion Ascended's spawn).

Ideally, corruption should start early on. In Act1 Narrator says that you loose parts of yourself when you use Illithid powers.

So, why is this not a mechanic? We know that mind flayers are pretty much emotionless. So why not start with loss of empathy? You slurped couple of tadpoles? Selfless dialogue options grey out. You slurped a lot? You get only pragmatic options like 'I'll help you if you pay' or being able to help only main quest essential NPCs, and others are regarded as being in your way.

You ate the astral one? Your romance companions(if not tadpilled to the gills too) comment on how cold you are now. Potentially breaking up with you/you murdering them (Balduran/Ansur style). 

And if they are also tadpilled - you cannot convince them to make good choices in their stories anymore. Mind Flayers do not give a fuck about anyone, but their own power. And if you are taking their powers - you are on your way to be one.

And that's exactly how Emperor wants you to be. He protects you only from merging into hive-mind, not from other side-effects.

I perfectly understand that my ideal version is not feasible. It would require rewriting an absurd amount of dialogues and rescripting bunch of cutscenes. I understand that.

BUT locking out certain endings for tadpilled (being unable to side with Orpheus, for example) should be patched in with the whole ending overhaul (that is NEEDED anyways). Otherwise what's the point in 'resisting' option at all? Couple of lines from Emperor that he is disappointed? Not enough😤

Tadpoles are a major part of the game, and yet narratively they mean absolutely nothing. I hate it.

Knowing they were planning to have consequences but chose not to... It makes it even worse. They understood the need to do something about it, and yet decided it was not worth the effort😔

#baldur's gate 3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #mauser talks cut content

[getmemymicroscope]

I'd only seen one 1991-released Bollywood movie to this point in my life (Lamhe), so I eventually figured why not change that tonight (when I couldn't decide on anything else to watch). While Lamhe gave us the very creepy story of guy falling in love with the much younger lookalike daughter of his true love, this movie throws at us a bunch of other sorta-creepy, very '90s Bollywood stuff that fits into the typical 90s patriarchal society-type stuff ("oh, forgive him," a large crowd of men says to a girl "because he's already apologized and he must be tired of apologizing now") and just typical 90s Bollywood love story stuff ("I was trying to woo you for money, but then I truly fell in love" and the always weird story of people falling in love within like 30 seconds of meeting or falling in love because "I hated you but then you came here and said you I saw your innocence and now I love you"). It's all weirdly 90s and is definitely cringeworthy - like much of this movie - but if you get past that (and it's definitely not as cringe/bad as some other movies from the time, if relative cringe makes any difference), the story is ... well. It's a story.

It's entertaining, albeit with subpar songs and a story that tries too hard to mix funny (not funny) and serious (not very serious), tries to mix a love story or two (poorly told, not explored, and not really enough to even convince us there's love) with a courtroom drama (emphasis on the drama), tries to throw together a multi-starrer (okay, fine, they had that, though Avinash Wadhawan has very little scope) with multiple actresses (all entirely wasted except maybe Amrita Singh) but then has to given them all a second-fiddle role to Rajesh Khanna (who just ... they want him to appear as this very smart detective novelist and lawyer, but his courtroom theatrics just scream of annoyance).

He has this apparently perfectly thought out master plan, right from the start, and he doesn't much care about who he messes with in the process - I guess because he's convinced he can get them off - but it's also crazy risky because if he fails, he's destroying multiple lives (not to mention the death which happens at least partially due to his interference - and also due to the interference of the entire society of "just forgive him" men, which leads to her forgiving and falling in love with someone who literally just wanted to woo her as revenge for a slap) and a haphazard, movie-driven love story. He, of course, lucks out that he is in fact the only smart person in the room, so the bad guys are constantly one step behind even while thinking they're one step ahead. Literally the only time he's even partially at risk is when he's atop that aerial tram or whatever it's called - and even then he's super lucky because 1) he's strong enough to hold onto Chunky Pandey with just one hand while 2) fighting off a man with an axe, who luckily can't even come close to connecting with 80% of his swings.

Chunky Pandey is a good guy, the movie tells us, but he starts off as a spoiled rich brat and just suddenly becomes a sorta goofy good because, well, I guess because he admits that his "I murdered her" statement was a lie. That's it - he admits that, and suddenly he goes from spoiled rich guy trying to win a bet to hero of our love story. Amrita Singh is overly dramatic - well, her character is - and overly loud, and they play her determination to be a detective off as a joke. Rajesh Khanna pretty much just tells her 'do this, do that' and she does, and any seriousness of her being a detective is immediately ignored. Of course, nothing she shows us suggests she would've been any good at it, but it's clearly just treated as a joke by the movie makers as well. Avinash Wadhawan gets a very weird song at the beginning and then one really weird "falling out with dad" scene later, before showing up in the climax to add some drama and then throw a couple of punches.

A couple of 'frequently villain' guys show up as villains-to-good (Kiran Kumar) and actually good (Om Shivpuri), while Sadashiv gets to play out the actual villain.

I think the court scenes really just irritated me because it felt like they couldn't decide if they wanted it to be super-serious or comedy, so they sorta just alternated between the two. Which never works. And so much of it is just the lawyers like yelling at themselves and the judge - not well thought out arguments, but instead just "he lies" and "he lies too" type stuff.

And yet, for all the what seems like complaining above, the movie ... isn't that bad. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's not good and it's not going to be a "oh I must watch this again" type thing. But like, it's entertaining in bits, has some suspense, keeps you slightly wondering about what Rajesh Khanna's final play actually is and how he's gonna get all these people out of the messes he's gotten them into, and at the end, you're just like "okay, I understand why he gave up lawyering to write novels," because he's not very good as a lawyer. I mean, sure, he gets himself off - but it takes that actual bad guy pulling out a gun and taking a hostage in court the minute things start to point his way; before that point, his questioning had maybe created some doubt about his own possible guilt, but had done very little to suggest who the actual killer was. Not to mention, in a case about the deaths of two people (eventually just 1 person), he did a whole lot of "lets bring another case into this one" and diverging from the actual death of an innocent girl. She deserved better. From the whole movie, actually - she deserved better.

If they made some sort of updated, less 90s-level-heroes remake with the daughters of these stars (Twinkle Khanna, Sara Ali Khan, Ananya Pandey), I'd give it a watch - you know, Twinkle as the novelist/lawyer, Sara as the wanna be detective, and Ananya as the goofy lady who falls in love with someone (Sara, to keep it very true to the relationships in this movie, or someone else altogether) while also being accused of the murder of her ex/friend/someone. I think it could be fun (though, admittedly, I don't think I've actually seen an Ananya Pandey movie yet - guess I'll have to fix that soon).

It feels like the version on Amazon skips a bit here and there - that or the editing was absolutely miserable (Chhupa Rustam levels). That was frustrating. Also, I think his secretary and Avinash's girlfriend were the same people - but no idea how that happened, and if not, then it was two different people and they were each only there for like 2 scenes; either way, its not well explained.

I think I liked the underlying story more than the overall execution that we got, but I'll take it. Especially for something that released 31 years ago.

#movies #gmmm does bollywood #movieblr #gmmm does movies

[littlemisslipbalm]

“it’s not that important”

Summary: Y/N is in Harry’s band and one night they have a drunken hook up. One thing leads to another and they find themselves engaging in a friend’s with benefits type of situation. spoiler: it is important

AKA: A friends with benefits to lovers story :) with some angst in there

This is for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration so my trope is friends with benefits! prompt is “you have no goddamn idea what you do to me. when i’m around you, i have no control of my emotions or my thoughts” and the tenth picture ^ i kinda just used it in the beginning to descripe what he was wearing - i got really carried away with this story but the prompt is in there !! lol, not proofread tho but would love your feedback !!!! :) love y’all very much 

oh boy i’ve had this done for agesss but i hadn’t written the smut until today so now we’re here i dont even remember what happens - i vaguely remember not loving the end but I hope yall enjoy

Word Count: 15.4k (longest fic to date) | Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol consumption? i dont remember but i dont think theres anything too heavy in here.

-

“Hey Harold!” You smile as you easily hop over the side of the couch and settle beside your bandmate.

Harry groans, yet can’t keep the small smile off of his face when he sees it’s you. “How many times have I told you to never call me that?”

Your eyes narrow at his faux glare. “And how many times have I told you, I simply do not care?” 

You reach a hand out and tousle his already disheveled, unstyled brown hair. Despite his lack of styling, his hair still looked perfect. His chestnut hair fell into a middle part when he did nothing to it and you found it endearing. It made him look far younger than he truly was, like a boy you might have pursued when you were in your early days at college. The waves slightly framed his prominent cheekbones and chiseled jaw that was sporting a tiny amount of stubble.

He moves his arm from around the back of the couch to pat at his hair, trying to put it back in its nondescript position you had just messed with. After he’s satisfied, he uses the same hand to push up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. They’re chestnut brown Gucci frames that match the natural highlights in his hair. You can safely assume that’s why he bought them. The lenses are clear, but you know they don’t hold any prescription. He looks incredulously at you from behind them still.

“Nice glasses,” you mention offhandedly as you reach out to the coffee table to grab the drink you had left there earlier.

Before Harry had arrived, you had been taking up residence on the couch, in the spot he had actually taken up. You had ventured to the restroom for a moment and gotten held up in a conversation when asked your preference for the Beatles. Having to defend your staunch stance for the Beatles and against the Rolling Stones, you had gotten swept up into an argument with Adam. He believed that because the Rolling Stones toured for longer warranted them the title of best rock band. While you countered that despite their long touring and production of music, the Stones had a rotation of members. The Beatles maintained the four of them and held such a large impact even though they were barely together for a decade. They were one of a kind, or at least the first of their kind, you’d allow. You weren’t really in the mood for intellectual conversation tonight, so upon seeing Harry taking up your seat, you had told Adam you’d continue the discussion at a later date and returned to your spot.  

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles as his gaze flits around the room. He wasn’t sure if you were actually complimenting him, but he would take it as one either way.

The rest of your friends are all up and about, drinking, talking, dancing. It was the usual house party scene: a relatively intimate gathering, music you all actually liked, some friends of friends feeling slightly out of place. There was no pressure in this type of gathering but still Harry wasn’t necessarily in the party mood tonight. Usually, Harry was the one instigating these types of get-togethers with his friends and bandmates. He liked to be the life of the party, but as the tour loomed closer and closer, he felt some tinge of longing for quiet and solitude. He knew he wouldn’t have much quiet while on the road, which mostly didn’t scare him. He loved the stage and the high he received from performing and the gratification he felt from all the people in the room being there to see him. But there was also that other part of him that liked the quiet, the privacy. As the lack of alone time nudged itself around the corner, he had been hoping to enjoy solitude, or at the very least peace before he was on the road. Some sort of blissful state before technical chaos ensued. When Charlotte, the host of tonight’s soiree, had texted their group chat about tonight, Harry had politely declined. Then came the slew of private texts from Charlotte giving him all the reasons he should come tonight. He tried to say no again, but had shown up after the continued begging from her.

His appearance mirrored his expression, choosing a not perfectly fitted white t-shirt and random trousers rather than picking something he really loved, like usual. You could tell something was up and as his friend you were wondering what was wrong with him.

“Don’t sound so excited, Harry, someone might mistake you for somebody who’s happy to be here.” You stick your tongue into the side of your cheek, gauging his reaction.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re not very funny?” He quips, green eyes flashing to meet yours.

Your banter is probably how the pair of you communicated the best, never really falling into the whole serious side of friendship. You never shared those late night talks about the future or your fears. It was a fun friendship, so you didn’t fancy yourself one of his closest confidants. When it came to music, you and Harry were a bit more serious which formed a sort of paradox because the music you would share with each other gave a far greater insight into your souls than you probably realized. As a member of his band, you would discuss his music and what was going on with that sort of business part. But the sharing and discussion of other music that you did was part of your friendship, even if you didn’t see it like that. Because of the countless albums you had recommended to each other and the specific songs you had made note of, Harry and you knew each other much better than you thought you did. Music connects to something deep inside yourself and you have to like it enough and know the other person well enough to believe that they will also enjoy it to recommend it. As much tongue and cheek that you partook in with Harry, deep down, unbeknownst to either of you, you were that friend he shared his hopes and fears with, through the way he knew best, music.

“No, most people find me hilarious...”

You take a sip of your drink, trying to cover up the sting that his remark actually left. Most of the time you were great at keeping up with anyone’s banter, especially Harry’s, but tonight you weren’t feeling it. His tone had sounded so harsh it almost sounded like he meant it. His features soften when he sees the way your face falls, despite your sarcastic tone.

“‘M sorry. I’m just not in the best mood tonight. Didn’t want to come, but Charlotte…” He shifts to face you, arm retracting slightly around the couch, landing his hand at the edge of your shoulder. His fingers fiddle with themselves absentmindedly, he turns his rings around his fingers and they ever so slightly brush against your shoulder. You don’t mind, you know its his nervous tick that he did whenever he didn’t have something to clink them against.

“Yeah, same here, actually.” Your tuck an out of place hair behind your ear, returning your gaze to Harry, who’s tilting his head at you curiously. “But might as well make the most of it, though. After all, this is our last week before tour starts.” You raise your glass and tilt it towards him before taking a sip.

You really didn’t have a plan, you were just trying to make him feel a little better. It was seldom you saw him so solemn at this type of gathering. He usually was the one bouncing from group to group, entertaining everyone with his dazzling charm and quick wit. Sometimes he would bring a date and spend the night with them in the corner, but that was usually at bigger parties than this. At these types of gatherings you often found yourself talking with Charlotte for most of the night. You were both new additions in the band and you had clicked immediately. You would travel in a pair between different groups and talk with everyone. Sometimes you would tell a humorous anecdote about your life and everyone would laugh wholeheartedly. Your ability to retell a story and make it hilarious every time seemed to be your secret talent. You could make any experience into a ten-minute retelling and it always sounds like the funniest moment of your life. It ranged from your embarrassing audition for Grease as a tween to your supermarket run in with an old acquaintance or B-list celebrity the day before. It didn’t matter what it was, it just always had the entire circle of people laughing and wiping their eyes with joy. You’d laugh a little with themselves, but usually you just had a triumphant smile on your lips for the rest of the night.

He nods, sipping his own drink for the first time since you had settled down beside him. “Well, I’m all ears.”

“What?”

“Give me your suggestions on how to make the most of tonight.”

“Drinking, mostly, was my plan,” you laugh nervously as Harry continues to stare at you intently.

“Mostly?”

“I mean, what do you want me to say? I didn’t think to pack my bouncy castle, my bad.”

He bites back a laugh but lets some air escape his defined nose, before staring with a deadpan face at you.

You like to tease him. You simply liked him. Harry was different from other men you knew. You were pretty sure most people could say that though. Harry was just different. It seemed like no one could not have some sort of affection for him. With the playful friendship the pair of you had, you always skirted the edge of flirtation. But you also didn’t particularly ever want to cross any lines with him. He was the employer of you, technically. He had brought you into his backing band and you wouldn’t do anything to harm that position. As well, at the end of the day you knew Harry. His tendencies and the choices he made.

When you were around him at parties like this, you had to try really hard to keep him at an arm’s length. Because on one hand, you would drink and suddenly the boundaries you put up didn’t seem that important, instead his lips started to look rather inviting, but on the other, you knew that he was extremely emotionally closed off to any relationship that was more than either friendship or a one night stand.

Harry doesn’t give you a response, just swings back his drink. The pair of you sit and drink in silence. Before you know it, Harry and you are five drinks in, finally talking after the second. The pair of you decide to move to the balcony outside and continue your conversation there after the third. After the fourth, you're getting really handsy and by the end of the fifth, Harry’s arm is wrapped tightly around your waist and you're laughing breathlessly into his neck. It looks like he’s just shielding you from the cold night air, but both of you seemed to be enjoying each other’s embrace for other reasons.

Finally catching your breath, you lean back and pant softly as you meet eyes with Harry. His pupils have blown out from the alcohol and dark light. The emerald green barely surrounds the black and you swear there’s flecks of gold or maybe brown in them. Your brows scrunch at the revelation and Harry asks what you’re thinking. You don’t respond, too entranced and drunk to even hear him.

“Oi,” he bops your nose, “What is goin’ on in there, little lady?”

Your hand reaches up and widens Harry’s eye manually. His inebriated state has no qualms about you doing such an odd thing. “Why’s your green not actually green?”

“What?” He asks before moving your hand away from his face, it instead falls to his chest. The pair of you shift until your caged between his body and the balcony’s ledge. You pout as you stare up at him. His skin looks soft and taught over every inch of his face and neck. The urge to kiss him keeps nagging at the back of your mind. The idea keeps creeping up closer and closer and the drunker you are the less likely you are to suppress it.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You blurt out.

“Sure.” Harry isn’t taken aback. He had been thinking about asking for a while, so he was glad you had asked first, made it easier for him.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He takes you back to your place, the pair of you catching a cab the short distance between yours and Charlotte’s flats. No one blinks an eye at the pair of you leaving together. Everyone watched the pair of you sulk all night about being there and only enjoying the other’s company, so they weren’t keen on either of you staying. Charlotte was simply glad the pair of you had stayed for as long as you did.

The two of you walk casually until you’re inside your bedroom. Once inside, Harry throws you on the bed and fucks you. Hard. He’s got you spread out in more ways than you had ever thought possible. He’s got you saying things you had never even dreamed of saying. And he’s got you cumming and screaming more than you could have ever wanted. He enjoys himself as well. He loves the way you feel around him and the way your eyes look up at him while he fucks you straight into the bed. He loves the way you sound whispering dirty things and screaming his name. He loves the feel of your soft skin all over your body as he pushes deep inside you. He loves the way you’re able to rip a guttural moan from him every time he cums. And he cums three times that night. While it wasn’t quiet, he did find that blissful state he had been in desperate need of.

After the third round, Harry feels spent. He brings himself into a sitting position, legs hanging off the edge of your bed. You’re lying in your bed, completely overstimulated, cumming at least twice as many times as Harry. He scratches at the top of his head, his bicep bulging as he folds his arms around himself.

“That was fucking good, Y/N. Just what I needed.”

You can only hum in response.

Then he takes your blanket and lays it over you. After that he begins to stand up, getting ready to grab his things and go.

“You don’t have to go…” your voice raises when you realize what he’s doing.

“Yeah, I do. This was just a one time thing, yeah? I enjoyed it, but you know...”

“Erm, I guess?” You rolled to fully look at him, he was pulling his t-shirt back on now, his marked chest disappearing beneath the white fabric. “Do you really not stay over at your one night stands?”

He thinks about it as he begins with his shoes and his glasses at the same time. “Yes? Usually I don’t know the person and I don’t particularly want to sign an autograph when I leave in the morning. Best to leave immediately afterwards.”

“That was exactly why I wanted you to stay...Shit! No chance you’ll give me an autograph now? Could sign my tit, right next to your hickies.”

He laughs, automatically in a better mood after the catharsis of having sex. It was also a relief for him that you didn’t seem to be weird about the hook up. “Shut up!”

“You’re a twat, Harold.” He groans instinctively at the annoying nickname, not caring about the ‘twat’ part. “But be my guest, you can freeze your arse off while waiting for your cab outside at this hour.”

“Rude..” He mutters, standing in your doorway now. “You wouldn’t actually make your employer stand out in the cold at this time of night. I haven’t even got a jumper. Could get a cold and ruin my voice. ”

“You’re the one who says it’s best to leave immediately. Get on it, mister.”

Your hand makes a shooing movement, but he doesn’t budge. You sigh as he makes a puppy dog face - eyes wide and a puckered pout with his flushed cheeks and lips - playing into your actual kindness, that he knows is somewhere. Your sweetness that you were keeping hidden from Harry right now. Nothing was serious between you so it made sense that you were trying not to let your innate ability to care show as he’s about to walk out on you.

“Ugh, fine. Stop looking at me like that. Just grab one of my coats from the bottom right, they’re all oversized so one should fit.” He doesn’t relent on the face. “And you can stay inside until your cab comes.” You sigh and throw one of your pillows at him. He catches it easily and throws it back, much softer than your throw. “Also never pull the employer card on me again when I’m naked in the bed you just fucked me in,” you call as he looks through your closet.

Returning with a patchwork coat you had thrifted tight over his shoulders, he looks at you seriously, “Yeah sorry about that part. Definitely wasn’t trying to exert my power over you, it sounded better in my head. Meant more like you could ruin my voice and both of our jobs.”

You nod and chuckle slightly, finding how inarticulate Harry could be as an endearing trait. His explanation didn’t actually make it sound better. “The jacket fits.” You say, choosing to move forward from Harry’s weirdness, knowing he didn’t mean any harm from his initial statement.

“Yeah, thanks. I think my cab is here,” He glances at his phone, “So I’ll go...See you?”

“I’m sure.” You smile, “We do in fact work together and will soon be touring the world. Would be a bit weird if I didn’t see you.”

“Right.” He nods and adds a peace sign before he walks out of your sight. You know he’s gone when you hear the door click shut. What an interesting night.

-

Love on Tour had just started and Harry couldn’t lie. He couldn’t keep his mind off of you. You were both his most recent partner and the best he had had in a while. He found himself rubbing over the spots on his neck and clavicle that you had given particular attention to during the night you had shared together. When he went to bed it was your body he pictured to get himself off. So, after the first show he’s beelining to you at the beginning of the after party. He’s got an adrenaline high and he needs a release. You’re the solution. He’s whispering in your ear, asking if you’d like to meet him in his dressing room. Your eyes study his face when he pulls back and they widen slightly when the realization of what he’s implying dawns on you. Then you’re nodding and excusing yourself from a random conversation five minutes later.

Inside Harry’s dressing room, you find Harry already unbuttoning his shirt. He grabs your face and shoves his lips onto yours once you lock the door. As he kisses you he tries to make one thing very clear, “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“Got it.” You begin to finish Harry’s job of taking off his shirt.

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “Are you okay with that?”

“Jesus fuck, yes, Harry, just shut up and fuck me senseless again!”

He listens to you and begins to kiss down your jaw and neck. His open-mouth kisses leave a searing trail across your skin. He settles on a spot at the base of your neck and begins to suck and nip at it with vigor. You set to work on finishing his job of unbuttoning his shirt. Then you pull off your own shirt, reaching behind you to untie the bows at the back. The new skin exposed grabs Harry’s attention and he moves down to suck over the cleavage of your tits. He’s happy to be back with his ‘bosom friends’. You smack his head when he says it and he chuckles darkly, only sucking harder on them causing you to moan louder than you would like.

Once you’re both in only your underwear, you find your back pressed up against the mirror behind the dressing room counter. Harry’s body is nestled between your spread legs as he kisses down your skin. His fingers dance along the line of your thong as he looks up from beneath his lashes for position, you only push his head closer to your heat in response. He laughs mischievously before tugging them down off your hips.

“Missed this pretty little cunt...All I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout,” He mutters as he begins to latch onto your dripping core.

Your brows shoot up at the thought that Harry’s mind has been stuck on you for the past week. You definitely had thought about your drunken hook up a bit, but hadn’t thought it had left a lasting impression on Harry, you assumed he had that lovely of a night with every person he chose to spend intimate time with. These thoughts are forgotten when Harry’s warm tongue is lapping at your swollen bud. You’re already panting for Harry and now you’re heaving with moans and whimpers leaving your mouth with every lick and nip of his expert mouth.

“Fuck Harry, feels so good,” you whine as his tongue travels down your folds and swirls and dips into your hole.

He moans at your words and the way your legs squeeze at his head. His hands move to spread you open wide to maintain his control and he smirks at the way your body rolls due to the friction of his voice against your pussy.

“Be a good girl f’me,” he growls still pressed against your wet heat.

Your body rolls again as you get closer and closer to your first release. Your bite your lip trying to contain all of the sounds that are trying to escape your mouth. Harry notices the new silence and glances up seeing how you’re trying to behave. As much as he likes you obeying his words, he also wanted to hear how he was pleasuring you.

“Tell me how you feel, princess,” he demands.

“So-so good,” you hiccup as his fingers caress over your folds now as he looks you in the eyes, his lips wet with your slick. He kisses you hard, his tongue diving into your mouth and you kiss back passionately, loving your taste on his tongue.

He pulls back and your hands trail down his chest, swirling around his familiar tattoos and hair that grace his lower torso as you move. He grins, enjoying the feeling of you on him and how he was affecting you.

Soon enough, his cock is finding its way back to your glistening folds, wet with your own liquids as well as his saliva. His mouth waters at the sight. He only pushes into you a few times like this. Then he catches sight of himself in the mirror in front of him and can’t resist. He pulls out and flips you over, your squeal leaving your mouth before you can stop yourself. His dick finds your entrance once again, not wanting to be without the wonderful warmth for any longer than he must.

“Ahhh,” Harry groans when he slips back inside.

Your head throws back on your neck, the feeling of him as well as the sight of him gripping your hair in one hand and your fleshy hip in the other. His rings dig into the skin as he’s able to slam more forcefully in this position. You gasp and whine at his motions. The sounds coming from between your legs are turning you on even more and they seem to make Harry happy too. He picks up the pace and drops the grasp of your hair for a second. Your head falls down as you try to keep yourself up on your elbows.

Gripping both of your hips, Harry growls, “Look at me while I fuck you. C’mon now.”

You moan in response and tear your eyes open to see your reflections in the mirror. One hand goes up to hold onto the mirror to give yourself more traction, causing your back to arch even more. The new position has Harry’s cock slamming into you deeper.

“Fuck!” Harry practically yells and can’t keep himself from landing a harsh slap on your ass. You jump forward at the sting but his other hand keeps the pace steady. He keeps burying himself into you all the way to his base, his balls slapping at your now slick spread thighs. He rubs over the red handprint he had just left on your ass. You whimper and bite your lip, truly enjoying the sensation.

Still staring into the mirror as Harry commanded, your eyes water slightly and Harry makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You smile widely and he grins back. “This feels so fucking good. Your pussy takes me so well. Fuck…” Harry babbles, still pistoning into you. You had noticed how vocal he was the first time you had fucked, but thought it had just been the alcohol. Apparently not. But you didn’t mind, you much preferred it to partners who barely spoke or didn’t even moan. Like how were you supposed to know what was going on in their minds? With Harry, you knew he was having a good time.

A few more heavy thrusts and you felt yourself nearing the edge. Your panting was getting faster, exceeding the speed of Harry’s thrusts and he could also feel you were close. Your cunt began squeezing him tighter so he hooked a hand under your knee and brought it onto the table. He hunched over you slightly and snaked his hand to your clit. “C’mon darling, I know you're close. Can feel that little cunt putting a choke hold on my cock.” He rubs at your clit with the vigor of strumming a quick paced song on the guitar. It’s enough to overtake your senses and the laugh that had bubbled from his words turns into your orgasm moan. You try to muffle it into the arm that is holding you against the mirror to avoid a full on scream because it feels that good. You felt like you were having your first ever orgasm, it felt that new to you.

A few more thrusts and you’ve come down from it, but Harry still hasn’t finished. It’s your turn to be the partner coaxing the other to get off. “Faster, Har. Want you to cum too.” He grunts, picking back up the pace. He had slowed to let you ride out your stay. “That’s it...want you to cum in me. Your cock feels so fucking good.” You whine, meaning every word. He smiles again at you and closes his eyes, focusing on chasing his high. You watch as his smile widens to that open mouth grin, “Fuck,” he almost whispers. And there it is. There’s a twitch in his hips that mirrors his expression and then he’s pulling out and cumming on your back. His voice is now even lower and raspier than before as he babbles how good that was and how tight your pussy was. It was sweet nothings, but extremely explicit and you sighed heavily, feeling a small orgasm wash over you again. His final thrusts and voice pushing you off the cliff again easily.

The two of you take a minute to bring your breathing back to normal and Harry goes to clean your back off.

“So..how do you feel about maybe doing this regularly?”  Harry asks sheepishly as he begins to pull his pants back on.

“Like a friends with benefits kind of thing? Or bandmates with benefits, rather.” You laugh breathlessly at your not really funny joke, but you’re now truly exhausted. From the show and the fuck, you felt thouroughly worked out.

“I guess that’s what it is, yeah.”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“You’re honestly so chill, Y/N. It’s fuckin’ hot.”

You laugh and flip your hair dramatically. You’re only in your bra and panties right now and Harry licks his lips, finding your playfulness to be a turn on. “What can I say?” You laugh.

“But like I said before...it’s just sex.” He’s buttoning up his shirt and looking at your reflection through the mirror now. He watches you slip the pants you had been wearing back on.

“Oh, Harold, I know.” On cue, he groans and turns around to face you after fixing his mused hair in the mirror. Interrupting yourself, you turn your back to Harry, “Can you tie this, sorry it’s hard for me to get the -” Harry walks to you without any hesitation and begins tying the silk ribbons on the back of your shirt. “Thanks. Anyway,” you turn to face him when he’s finished and you place both of your palms on his chest. “Trust me, I know you’ve got your issues and I’m not looking to be the girl that tries to change you. I know what this is. I only ask that you let me know when you sleep with other people, because once you do, you won’t need me.” Harry nods and you pat your hands against him. You both smile and go your separate ways when you leave the dressing room.

-

Harry and you fucked almost every night on tour. Sometimes it was right after, on the counter in his dressing rooms. Sometimes it was later in the evening in his hotel room or yours. He stopped leaving immediately after your hook ups. He never kicked you out of his room so he decided it was fine for him to stay in yours. Especially because you weren’t a stranger who would be weird with him in the morning. He also didn’t like trekking through the hotel halls late at night.

The first few times you stayed in the same bed, the two of you stayed on opposite sides of the bed, not touching after you were finished engaging in your sexual endeavours. Rigid bodies against the edges of the mattress. Then one particularly long night, filled with multiple rounds, Harry was so exhausted from his performance on stage and off that he collapsed on top of you. He fell asleep there and you didn’t particularly mind. It felt nice to be slightly compressed and held. He shifted in his sleep and when he woke up he wasn’t upset to find you nestled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. After that, cuddling sort of became part of the routine. After you were done having sex, Harry or you would get up to clean up and bring back waters. Then you would settle in his arms. Sometimes in a spooning position and sometimes you cradled softly into his chest. You didn’t talk about it, it just happened.

One night it was your head directly on top of his butterfly tattoo, one leg thrown over his lower torso and your arm snuggly wrapped around his middle. He liked to pet your hair when you laid against his chest in that way. His fingers would fiddle with the strands and you liked it because he usually took off his rings before he would do it and his hands felt so soft and delicate against you. Harry liked the way he felt when he would hold you afterwards. It was calming to fall asleep against your soft skin and feel your fingertips trace lyrics to songs he wasn’t sure the name of against his own.

No one knew about how your friendship with Harry worked. To the rest of the world, you seemed to be someone who had become another close friend in the band. You were similar to Mitch in many respects. Except for when Harry winked at you during a show, it wasn’t a friendly wink, it was a ‘this song makes me horny and I can’t wait to relieve the pressure by fucking you later’ kind of wink. You knew this because Harry had gone over and whispered it in your ear during a quick break, when you had only looked at him weirdly after he did it.

Before the show tonight, you pulled Harry aside, “So what are we thinking tonight? I feel like I might want to ride you...Haven’t been on top in a while.” In the darkness of the backstage, you crane your neck to take Harry’s earlobe between your teeth. He groans softly and grips your hips to guide them against his for a second. “Sounds fuckin’ fantastic, love.” You twitch back, releasing him immediately at the word. You always told him not to call you that and he tried to reason with you, that it was just something he called people. But you disliked it a lot, adding it to the growing list of rules the pair of you had for the do’s and don'ts of being friends with benefits with each other.

“Harold,” you groan and he steps back at that pet name. While he hated this, you refused to let him put it on the list because it didn’t cross any lines with your physical arrangement. Not that there was any physical list to put it on, it was more of a theoretical list that the two of you would speak of occasionally.

“Sorry.” He says eventually, “Didn’t mean it.” You both laugh.

You think about how other relationships were sometimes desperate to hear their partner express their love for them and you believe you’re grateful for the simplicity of your arrangement. The term relationship regarding what you and Harry were doing was also in the ‘don’t’ category on the list. If either of you were being honest, there should be no need for a list and you should be questioning yourselves why you felt the need to set boundaries if one part of it was physical and the other part was your friendship and job. If it truly was just physical why were boundaries constantly needing to be set and followed? But right now honesty was not in the cards.

-

After the show Harry gets delayed with press or fans or something that you don’t really care about. You barely read the text that he sends, only caring about the ‘sorry got held up’ and the ‘be there in thirty’.

You let yourself into his room and wait on the bed, flipping through your phone, completely unbothered by the rest of the world. When you hear a knock on the door, you don’t think twice about getting up and opening the door. You only realize your terrible mistake when it’s Mitch and not Harry standing at what you’re also just realizing isn’t your door, but instead Harry’s.

“Shit!” you say under your breath as Mitch looks at you confused.

The room is dark behind you because Harry would have just entered and gotten down to business. He might turn on a side lamp, but you hadn’t felt the need to have light on while you waited. Forgetting all of that, you had just gone to the door and opened it.

Mitch tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he stares at you. “Is Harry here?”

“Er..No?” It comes out as a question. You rub the back of your ankle with your foot, feeling nervous.

“Is he actually not here or?” Mitch trails off, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No, no he’s really not here. I’m waiting for him, too.” You rush your words, but try to remain calm.

“You have a key to his room. And you’re waiting in the dark.” He says. They’re not questions and you’re not sure just how guilty you look.

“Yeah!” You try to come up with a non suspicious response, hoping there’s a way to still salvage your’s and Harry’s secret, “He gave me his key because he wanted to talk about something and I kept it dark because my eyes always hurt after shows. Kind of like a migraine.” You scratch at your head and smile, trying to convince Mitch. He seems to believe you as he nods slowly and opens his eyes more.

There’s a little bit of an awkward silence and Mitch shifts his weight between his feet, looking at you still. Just as you're about to invite Mitch to come wait inside with you, Harry steps out of the elevator and begins to walk down the hall. His key card is already in hand and your eyes widen. Harry’s expression mirrors yours when he realizes Mitch is standing outside of his door and that you are standing with him. “Mitch!” Harry says, placing his hand on Mitch’s shoulder and sliding his key card into his back pocket with the other. Mitch turns to Harry without seeing him put away the other key card and you look at the pair of them.

“I was just telling Mitch how you gave me your key card so we could talk about...that thing.” You interject, flicking the lights on in Harry’s room as casually as possible. Harry shoots you a look about how you couldn’t come up with an actual reason for being there. You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

Mitch looks between the two of you and feels some weird tension and he’s not sure if it's always there and he’s just noticing or if something is going on right now.

“Yeah, well, I came to stop by to talk about the riff in Canyon Moon. Something is wonky with it.”

“Oh! Sure,” Harry nods to Mitch and then glances at you, “Y/N, we can talk about that other thing later. It’s not that important anyway.” His tone is so casual and nonchalant. You stare at him, thinking he can’t be serious. You had been almost sure he would send Mitch away, but instead you were being kicked to the curb. When he doesn’t say sike or anything of the sort, you nod. “Okay,” then you mumble a ‘good luck’ with figuring out the problem with the song. Mitch walks in the door, but Harry’s eyes stay fixed on your figure retreating down the hallway. He watches you disappear and is only pulled from his thoughts when Mitch calls his name from the couch in the room.

After reaching your floor, you key into your room and get ready for bed. Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, completely alone for once in a long time, there’s another knock. This time you check the peephole, a habit you realized you were going to have to get better at. It’s Harry. You open the door and walk away immediately once he’s entered the room.

“Why are you here?”

“Thought we could still...” He follows you into the room, trying to make out your face in the darkness.

“I’m not in the mood anymore.” Your tone gives away your annoyance. You couldn’t hide that you were mad at Harry for sending you away. It made you feel weird. The way he did it so easily made you feel like you were extremely disposable and unwanted.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he lays down beside you. You turn to face him when he places a hand on the small of your back. You’re face to face and your noses are almost brushing. It’s not really possible to see each other’s features, but after months of hooking up you knew each other’s faces pretty well. You could reach out and pinpoint all of Harry’s freckles and moles on his face and neck right now and be correct. He could likely do the same. The theory is proven correct when he reaches out and his hand dances down your cheek. “Just thought it would be less suspicious if I didn’t get rid of him. Couldn’t make him wait either…”

“I know,” your voice is small and soft, just above a whisper, “I forgive you.” You scoot closer to him and Harry instinctively wraps his arm around you, bringing you tightly into him. You sigh into his neck and he shivers at your warm breath on his slightly clammy skin. When you lick your lips, they brush lightly against his skin. He laughs at the feeling, so you decide to press an intentional kiss to the hollow in his neck. In response, he presses a kiss to your hairline, his lips slightly chapped after the concert.

The kisses are tender, filled with that thing neither of you dare attribute to anything the two of you did in the dark. The word you told him time and time again to not call you. So is just about every touch and word that has been exchanged in this room since Harry entered it. You fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, a soft smile resting on both of your faces. Neither of you seem to mind that you didn’t actually have sex tonight or anything even close to it.

-

When you wake up you feel especially well rested. You shift around and realize your bed is empty besides you. It depended on the day, but it was always a toss up between Harry being there when you woke up or not. However, lately, you had found it was usually the former. You would linger longer and so would Harry in each other’s rooms, lounging in each other’s embrace under the soft glow of the morning light peaking through whatever windows the room had. Today you were cold at his absence. Then you look up and realize you aren’t completely alone. Harry is standing at the end of your bed, staring down at his phone, smiling.

“Hey.”

You wait for his reply, but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “Hey, Harold,” you repeat. His head snaps up, a grimace on his face at the name. He slips his phone in his pocket and ruffles his hair. “Hey.” He finally responds. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you seem to find it necessary to talk about what happened last night. Harry definitely seemed a little off to you this morning, but you try to shake it from your thoughts. There was no reason to be upset with him being quiet. He didn’t owe you anything, you hadn’t even slept together last night, so if anything it was weird he stayed as long as he did.

It was the second night at the Forum in Los Angeles. This means no travelling necessary. No day off either, tomorrow you’d have a day off before the third and final show at the venue though.

Harry and you were talking normally at the venue, mostly about the setlist - him and Mitch had changed something for whatever reason last night, which was fine. Your banter was to a minimum, but you were trying to convince yourself that nothing was off. Even though it felt like something was different, you couldn’t place your finger on what it was, so you thought it was best to ignore it.

When Harry is about to go out on stage, you don’t pull him aside and when he introduces the members of the band to the audience, he doesn’t say anything fun or silly about you. He doesn’t wink or come up to you at any point in the performance. It’s so unusual the rest of your bandmates are giving you funny looks. Charlotte looks at you from across your keyboard in a way that she’s asking if you’re okay. You shake your head at everyone trying to signal that you’re fine.

Mitch goes over to Harry and whispers in his ear to check in with him, Harry looks at him with a bright smile on his face and says “of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Mitch looks between the pair of you, thinking back to last night and how weird the pair of you were being then. Maybe it dawns on him then what might be going on between the two of you, but if he did, he wouldn’t mention it for a long time.

You falter a bit on your back up vocals tonight. You’re trying to give it your all, like always, but for some reason your voice isn’t sounding the way you want it. About halfway through the show, when your voice comes out the exact opposite of how you would like, Harry finally gives you a second glance. His face practically emotionless, save for the single arched brow. He’s concerned, but not concerned enough where he would go over to you. He just doesn’t understand why you keep missing the right note tonight. You make a shake of your hand to say I don’t know either. He just shrugs and turns back around to continue the show, his lively smile returning while he turns his head.

After the show, Charlotte, Sarah, and you are all checking in, going over what had happened during the show in general. They’re both worried about your voice and you’re simply trying to tell them that it was just an off night. Nothing was wrong. As long as you told everyone else that, then it might turn out to be true.

“It’s fine, maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” you fib, having gotten more sleep last night than most other nights on this tour. They both nod, seeming to take that as a reasonable answer.

Then Charlotte gets quieter as she whispers to the three of you, “Did you guys notice anything weird with Harry? He was super lively, but he barely interacted with you, Y/N, which is so unlike him...”

Sarah nods while you look skeptically on. Sarah adds, “He kept looking up to the boxes, too. More than usual at least. I don’t know though…” She trails off and you cross your arms over your chest, not really enjoying the conversation topic. “I mean, what do you think, Y/N?” Sarah adds.

Your eyes dance between the two women, your fellow bandmates, your friends. You sometimes wished you could share with them what you were doing with Harry. The secret was fun, but it’s also nice to be able to share with your girlfriends about the guy you’re seeing, even if it is a casual thing. The friendly gossip of it all is something fun to share, but sadly that was another thing you couldn’t do. You sigh, “You never really know what’s going on in his mind, y’know. He’s just Harry.” Your response is half-assed at best. You figure they’ll both give you shit for the non-answer you just supplied, but instead someone else speaks for them.

“I am in fact, just Harry.” He says and you swivel around to find yourself almost chest to chest with him. Charlotte laughs while Sarah simply smiles. Your eyes are huge as you stare up at him and you hope your blush doesn’t come out too strongly after being caught talking about Harry by himself. “Enlighten me on when I was being ‘just Harry’ though?” You bite your lip and take a step back from him, forming more of a line with the other women. He shrugs when no one offers a response, laughing lightly.

“Oh and Y/N, I can’t talk about that thing again tonight, I’ve got-”

“A date?” Charlotte asks, trying to understand why Harry was acting a little different tonight still. The part that Sarah had mentioned about him looking up into the boxes had given her the idea that he might have plans with someone after the show. Harry scratches his head, his hair slightly wet with sweat right after the show. He’s taken off his coat so he’s just in the almost completely unbuttoned, sweat soaked shirt he had been wearing underneath. It sticks tight to his skin and you can make out all the muscle lines that hide beneath the fabric that you usually get to caress. Your eyes flit from his body back to his face when he speaks again.

“Erm, I wasn’t going to phrase it like that...but yes, I suppose, it’s a date.” He says finally, he avoids your eye contact and you look at him very confused, trying to hide the hurt. He shoves his hands in his pockets trying to look and sound as casual as possible and ignore the strain he sees on your face. Is that what had held him up yesterday? Making plans with someone else? And he hadn’t told you until now? The past twenty four hours stung a little bit more now that you knew why Harry was being so distant. It simply felt icky finding out this way and it didn’t even seem like he was going to tell you it was a date.

“Okay,” you say simply and walk away. You hear Charlotte asking him details about his date, but you try actively not to hear any of it. Sarah watches you walk away and sees the way you wrap your arms around yourself to comfort you. She feels a twinge of sadness as she watches the scene unfold, seeing something she hadn’t realized was there before.

Harry doesn’t text or call you that night. You hang out with everyone else for a little while in Charlotte’s room before heading to bed, saying you think you need an early night tonight. Before you’re able to walk out of the door, Mitch stops you. “I heard Harry blew off whatever conversation the two of you have been trying to have again. Just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” You try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace. There is no conversation Harry is blowing off, it’s simply you. “It’s fine. Like he said yesterday, it’s not important.” Mitch nods, but still looks at you with concern. What he had seen last night, then on stage today, and what Sarah had told him about your interaction after the show it all strung together in his mind. It didn’t seem unimportant at all. But he didn’t know how he could tell you that. He felt like he should talk to Harry about the way you looked when you left Charlotte’s room tonight, but he didn’t know how to bring it up to him either.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you're in the elevator, and it’s slowly rising to your floor of the hotel. You’re only one level up, but it feels like an eternity in there. You already weren’t a fan of elevators, but this ride felt impossibly worse. The walls are all made up of mirrors and you see yourself in the reflection, but you don’t exactly recognize the girl in there. Your eyes are tired from the show, dark circles already formed. Your hands are aching, clenching and unclenching on their own accord. Your body is slumped against the back wall, likely leaving a slight imprint from the smoke residue and dust on your clothes. Worst of all are the tears running down your face, smudging at your makeup, the black mascara you had applied dripping down in sinister raindrops against your skin. The sad girl stares back at you as you sniffle slightly, confused at what you’re seeing. “Why are you crying?” you ask yourself, your voice creaking and then breaking at the end as you struggle to get out the word ‘crying’ before a sob wracks through you. You roll your eyes when your reflection offers no explanation for itself. You laugh at your own patheticness and try to shake the feelings you’re experiencing.

Inside your room now, you flop on the bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. Your arms spread to your sides and your legs lay limply below you. You think about every night before last, every night since the tour started. Every night where you weren’t alone, where you were with Harry. Your mind flits to last night, how Harry’s lips had ghosted over your skin after his apology. How you had told him you forgave him and it had felt so peaceful, so simple. It was all so easy. Thinking about him and the things the two of you did together brought a smile to your face, unbeknownst to you. When you realize it’s there, your face drops immediately, deciding not to think about Harry.

But trying to not think about Harry makes you only think about him more and what you think about him now most definitely doesn’t bring a smile to your face. You’re thinking about him out on his date with some person you chose to learn nothing about. Maybe out of fear of what is happening right now. By knowing nothing about the person, you can’t compare yourself to them. Can’t see what’s different about them that would make Harry go out on a date with them. But it doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like because at the end of it all you know one thing for certain. They’re not you. You correct yourself, you know two things actually, because you also know that Harry chose to be with them instead of you tonight.

You fall asleep with tear stained cheeks that night and absolutely nothing positive on your mind. You want to sleep but know it only brings whatever is bound to happen tomorrow, which doesn’t seem very promising.

-

It’s noon when you wake up and you wake to a knocking on your door. You grumble and throw a sweatshirt over your body to hide the underwear you slept in. Not remembering your new habit, you swing the door open without any hesitation to find Harry. He looks wide awake and happy, the way he almost always looks, a fresh beautiful flower of a man. You look at him groggily, “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“Because I was asleep?” You tilt your head and look at him incredulously. “What about this,” you gesture to your appearance, “looks like I just went for a 3 mile jog for fun and I love the morning?”

“Can I come in?” He ignores everything you just said and enters the room when you leave the door to get back in bed. You often did that with him, you don’t know why, but when he asked to come in the room it was just simpler to let him in then say anything. He knew what you meant.

He sits at the edge of the bed as you reclaim your spot in the middle of it, tucked slightly under the covers, but still sitting up. “How was your date?” You try to sound nonchalant and it seems to work. Harry doesn’t notice your tense figure, but you notice how he tenses up when you ask.

“Good…Her name was-” You don’t let him finish, you already know the answer to this next question and you don’t need her name in order to ask it, “Did you fuck her?”

He’s silent, green eyes staring straight at you. You meet his gaze, your eyes almost burning holes into him. His eyes are begging you to not make him answer the question, he doesn’t want this to end, even if he also didn’t want the commitment he had felt himself exhibiting the other night.

When he had come to your room the other night after Mitch had almost caught you, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed. He didn’t want you to feel bad so he had come to apologize, but when the pair of you didn’t have sex, he should have left. But he didn’t, he stayed and it wasn’t for you, it was for himself. It was for him to hold you in his arms because he liked to. But when he woke up the next morning he knew he needed to leave. Solely cuddling wasn’t part of your arrangement together. It’s probably on the list of don'ts that the pair of you had. So after he realized the line he had willingly crossed with you, he quickly sent a text to Jeff who had tried to set him up with a model they were acquaintances with the night before - the reason he had gotten held up. Harry had initially declined, not very interested in seeing anyone else but you. But looking back on that choice in the light of day seemed to solidify what this relationship was - a relationship - and Harry didn’t like that. The commitment wasn’t part of the plan, so he told Jeff to set that date up for after the second show at the Forum and give the woman a ticket. That’s why he was smiling at his phone the morning after only cuddling with you, that’s why he didn’t joke around with you during the show, and that’s why he wasn’t in your bed last night.

You watch him expectantly, silently waiting for his answer, your veins cold as ice. He finally starts his answer and he wants to make it clear that it wasn’t as good with the other woman, but he’s not sure how to work that part in. He’s not sure how to explain to you it meant nothing if your arrangement also apparently meant nothing. You barely even let him get in a sentence. “Yes, but it was just a one time-”

“Alright.”

“What?” He doesn’t understand what you mean when you nod your head and cut him off.

“I told you at the beginning, Harry. Tell me when you sleep with someone else because when you do this is over. It doesn’t matter if she’s the love of your life or a one night stand. I will not be a backup plan, so if you’re able to find other people to sleep with, you don’t need to be sleeping with me.”

He sits in silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open slightly. He’s unable to keep it shut as his mind races about what to say. “Are you mad with me?”

“No, I’m fine. This was just sex. Charlotte will be happy that I’ll be going out with her more.”

Harry’s brow furrows as you shift away from him on the bed, grabbing your phone and beginning to flick through it. You feel numb and you’d like to not think about why.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks because he does care about you, worry is written all over his face. He just can’t commit, not now.

“What would I be mad about, Harry?” You look up and your eyes widen at him, silently asking him to truthfully say why you should be so upset about this revelation. You always knew it would eventually come to an end, you just hadn’t expected so soon. You hadn’t known the last time would be the last time and it broke your heart even if you knew it shouldn’t.

He shifts to reach his hand out to touch your exposed knee. You move away from him and he sighs, looking exasperated. “I- I don’t know. It just seems like we should talk about this.”

“You didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me you were going on a date last night, so I think it’s best if we just left it at ‘it’s fine, see you around’.”

He spreads his hands out across the sheets, examining his rings and painted nails thoroughly. You’re right, he doesn’t really want to talk about this. Well, more so, he’s conflicted. He would like to talk enough that you want to continue your arrangement but he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or emotions. Even if he has those feelings and emotions, they’re just not part of the things he’d like to talk about. “But-” You set your phone down at his first word, “Were you even going to tell me you fucked someone else today if Charlotte hadn’t asked you if it was a date last night? Would you just have come to my room tonight and acted like nothing had changed?”

“I would have told you.”

“Sure.”

“I swear I would’ve. I would never break a promise to you.”

“But you would make a decision that affects the both of us without telling me until afterwards?” Your voice breaks a little and you beg yourself not to cry right now.

“I thought you said this was just sex?”

You laugh humorlessly, in disbelief, “Of course it’s not, Harry! And it hasn’t been for a long time and that’s why you got scared and went and fucked someone else.” He looks at you blankly, unsure what to say, knowing you’re right. You continue, “But I also told you at the beginning of this, that I wasn’t going to try to change you. So this is me not trying to change you.” You sigh when he still says nothing, his expression completely unreadable, even to you. “Why couldn’t you have left it at ‘it’s fine’?” You say finally, barely above a whisper.

He blinks a few times after your final question. He flexes his hand one more time and then stands up from the bed. He adjusts his clothes and stares at you. You feel helpless, but you’re still trying to look pulled together, even after your outburst. You stare back. A thousand words floating through your heads, all the things you want to say and likely never will.

“I know, I’m…” he pauses, trying to get himself to say it, but he can’t. He can’t admit that he’s completely ruined whatever messed up paradise you had created together. “I’ll see you later.”

The apology or lack there of hangs in the air as he walks silently out your door. You don’t move, you barely even blink, still staring at the spot he had just occupied. Your breath finally escapes you, a large sigh. Then some nervous laughter. It was over...just like that. But things like this, left like this are never really over.

-

It’s awkward for a good amount of the rest of the tour. You hang out with your bandmates more and Harry rarely ever comes out with them after the shows. He either hangs out with Mitch on his own or is going out with random people he knows on the road. You and him speak, but it’s never a lot or about anything relatively meaningful. It’s not the fun back and forth of before or the fiery heat of sneaking around. You try to be normal with him, act like his casual friend and bandmate.

He does his best to do the same, but it’s difficult for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore. He misses being with you, but can’t bring himself to fix it. He doesn’t do much to right his wrongs with you. He also doesn’t even know what he would want if he did apologize. It scared him to think about the step that came after ‘sorry’ so he saved himself the trouble and never did that part either. One night he texts you: “I’m trying, it’s just hard.” and that’s it. You don’t give him a response, he doesn’t need one. You know he’s trying and he knows you know.

Near the end of the tour, he comes out with the rest of you for drinks one night. Only Mitch is between the two of you in the booth, so you feel closer to Harry than you’ve felt in a long time. The group of you are chatting and having a good time. You somehow get onto a story from when you were still in college. You explain how you had narrowly avoided getting Chlamydia right before your Christmas break junior year. You act out the conversations you imagined would have happened at all your Christmas events if you had indeed gotten it. Your impressions of your mother, father, and sister have everyone laughing the most. Harry is shaking with laughter from your story and you smile at him in appreciation when he says, “That is the funniest story I’ve heard in a long fucking time.”

The rest of the night goes really well, for the most part. No one bickers or is short with each other. Everyone is laughing and drinks are flowing. Eventually Mitch gets up to go to the bathroom and you feel Harry slide back into the booth closer to you after letting Mitch out. Your hand had taken up residence next to your thigh, resting on the vinyl of the booth. You sense something next to it now and notice Harry’s hand is resting close beside it. He shifts his hand closer when he sees that you’re looking down at it. He’s almost touching you and you look up to his eyes, wondering if he’ll close the distance. He makes an imperceptible shake of his head, but you know what he means. As you’re about to shift your hand so that your pinky connects with his, Mitch returns and your head shoots up to his figure. You instantly remove your hand from the vinyl and shift closer to Charlotte. Harry gets up, but doesn’t sit back down once Mitch is settled. He instead walks off to get another drink, risking one last look at the table where he makes eye contact with you, but he doesn’t come back. Mitch informs everyone that Harry went back to the hotel because “he was tired” after Harry doesn’t return and Mitch gets a text. You roll your eyes, sure that you saw him slip out of the side door with a woman he found at the bar after he had gotten his drink. If that’s what ‘tired’ looked like on Harry, it was fine.

You start to speak to Harry on a more regular basis after that night out. It’s not funny or lighthearted. It’s just ‘I saw this song the other day, thought you might like to listen’. It went back and forth, it wasn’t everyday but it was something. The last text between the two of you before you began sharing songs again was his ‘I’m trying it’s just hard’ text that he had sent randomly one night. Then after one of you would listen, you would see each other at sound check and mention the song and what you thought about it. It can be noted that it was Harry who sent the first song.

For Harryween, Adam couldn’t be there. He has some family emergency the day of and doesn’t come with the rest of you to Madison Square Garden or the hotel you were staying at. Thankfully, Charlotte also plays keys and you can play bass. The band had to shift around some things on stage and make minimal changes to the setlist since you weren’t rehearsed on the covers Harry was doing. You spent the whole day running through the chords of those songs with Mitch, trying to memorize them so you didn’t mess it up during the show.

It was weird because for Harryween the setlist was switched up a little from the regular set for Love On Tour. Harry was playing the entire new album as well as half of the first album, Medicine, some of his other unreleased stuff, and about six covers, including old One Direction songs. It was going to be a long show and a challenge for you.

Before the show, Harry pulls you aside, to a dark corner backstage, and your mind flits back to the last time you had been in this type of position. The last time he had called you ‘love’, the last time you bit his earlobe - which always drove him crazy, the last time he ground his hips against yours, those and more and you had no idea that it was the last. By then you had already had sex with Harry for the last time, kissed his lips for the last time. It made your heart race to be so close to him and so alone once again. But it’s nowhere near the same as it once was. You shake the memories from your mind and look up expectantly at him.

“Have you got this?” He asks seriously, tone concerned. Of course it’s a music question, nothing more. Like it always was now.

“Yeah, of course.” His stare is unwavering and you try not to falter from it.

“I can get someone else to cover tomorrow, it was just such a short notice today. You know bass really well too, it made sense.”

“I’ve got this. Seriously, don’t worry, Harold.” You pat his chest lightly and for once Harry smiles at the sound of your nickname for him. You had stopped using it after the end of your arrangement. It never felt right to use when you were talking about music, and that was about the only time you had been talking. In this moment though, it felt right. His warm, large hands held your upper arms as you stared up into his big eyes. You missed staring into them, the shimmering emerald of his irises were constantly intriguing. You instinctively reach up to move back a curl that has fallen onto his forehead. He doesn’t shy away from your touch and continues to smile down at you.

“Y’haven’t called me that in forever.” He grins, his lips a shiny pink from the lip balm he had on.

“No, I suppose I haven’t. But where was the groan? The whole point is to annoy you.” You smile coyly. He tips his head back and laughs, releasing your arms from his grasp as he laughs wholeheartedly.

Then he does a soft groan, a playful sound, “How was that?”

“Eh. I’ll give you a four out of ten. Not enough emotion behind it.” You slide from the area the two of you have been occupying and make your way onto the stage to start dealing with the bass you would be playing. You hear Harry call out to you, “I think I deserve at least a five, maybe even a six!” You turn back for a second to look at him with an unimpressed expression and shake your head no. He laughs again and you hear him even when you walk out onto the stage. You smile to yourself as you pick up the bass.

When he introduces the band, he waits to talk about you last. “And sadly this evening Mr. Adam Prentergest, our usual fabulous bassist, was unable to attend our fancy dress party! However! Our lovely Y/N L/N is also a superb bassist and was kind enough to step into his place. - Anything to add?” He saunters across the stage to you and you laugh kindly, feeling at ease in this part of the stage even though you were usually on the opposite side and further back from the crowd. You nod at Harry and he leans his portable mic towards your lips. You wet them quickly and eye Harry before turning out to the crowd. “Just please go easy on me if the bass sounds a bit wonky. It wasn’t on the job description that I’d be playing songs I didn’t know, with a few hours notice, on not my main instrument.” You say this in a kind of list format, holding up your fingers as you tick off all the ways that this was out of your comfort zone. You scratch your head dramatically after you’re finished and the whole crowd laughs and cheers. The rest of your bandmates chuckle along and Harry nods and smiles at you.

“You’ll do great, love.” He leans into your ear and says without the microphone. Then he winks and turns to go back to the center of the stage. You press your lips together to contain your smile, both happy and concerned about the flip your stomach just did.  

The show is going great. Harry is killing it with the crowd. Everything is electric. You’re entirely focussed on your bass playing, but Harry has been coming over every so often to do something fun or have you tell a joke.

“She’s truly the funniest person I know! And I know a fair amount of people I think.” Harry says as he walks over to you have you tell another joke. Mitch has been looking at you and Harry interacting all night and he’s sure that it isn’t your different position that has him coming over and talking to you so much tonight. Something has definitely changed once again. First the pair of you were always together and having fun, then it was silence and stolen glances that neither of you realized you were taking, now it was back to the beginning.

“That’s because you think puns are part of the top tier levels of comedy.” You say easily, “Here, I can guarantee Harry will love this and the rest of you will likely groan.” Then you stop and act as if you’re thinking for a little, everyone’s waiting expectantly. “Sorry, thinking...Well, I’ve got some skeleton puns I could do, they’re very humerus or y’know classic vampire ones..eh but those ones kind of suck. What do you think, Harry?” You look out at the crowd, face deadpan, as Harry laughs beside you. You roll your eyes playfully and push him back to the center of the stage. Leaning into your own mic now, you say, “I told you.” That’s when everyone laughs. Harry throws another look at you over his shoulder and laughs a little more, his smile wide and eyes bright.

A little over half way through the night, it’s time for ‘to be so lonely’. You already knew the bass chords for it before today and you were confident in yourself by now. It wasn’t as hard a song so you were happy for the little break. This song allowed you to not be looking down at the notes you had stuck to the floor in front of you. Harry’s voice comes in after Mitch’s intro and you watch the way his lips move against his mic. You laugh a little as you watch the crowd yell the first “arrogant son of a bitch” line. You used to not particularly like when people did that, but after it had ended with Harry you had started to enjoy it a bit more. Having those people yell the words you couldn’t, but truly felt about him sometimes, was cathartic. Tonight you weren’t angry with him, but you enjoyed the energy in the room when everyone said it. We’ve all got our own ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ that we want to scream at sometimes. Tonight yours wasn’t Harry for the first time in a long time. The song moves along and Harry takes the microphone off its stand, he walks towards your side of the stage. When the lyrics get to:

“I miss the shape of your lips, your wit, it’s just a trick, this is it so I’m sorry”

Harry isn’t looking at the crowd, he’s looking straight at you. You don’t understand the way he’s looking at you. Or maybe you don’t want to understand it. This song, its lyrics, explains Harry really well. You saw the relationship you had with him in the words. Maybe not precisely, but a part of it was in it. Harry had unknowingly foretold your lives with his words. You know he has trouble connecting and committing, you know his issues, and you accept them. But you knew what had happened between the two of you was far more serious than meaningless sex and you knew Harry couldn’t bring himself to be that serious. He ran off and that was fine, but the face that he couldn’t even apologize hurt you the most. But the song lays it all out for you, he’s not one to be able to apologize quickly. The fact that he looks at you and means the apology he sings in the song for you, it’s a big step, but it’s not enough. The banter, the technical apology, it was all a good start, but it’s just that - the beginning. If Harry wants to make things better with you, a lot more needs to be discussed. So when you sing backing vocals for the following chorus you mean the words for Harry completely.

“Don’t call me baby again, you got your reasons, I know that you’re trying to be friends. I know you mean it, but don’t call me baby again it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”

His eyes flick to you again and see your lips moving around the words as you play the bass. He sees the emotion in your face and understands what you’re saying. It’s hard for you to go to your room at night and be alone while he’s out with someone else. It’s hard for him to act like everything’s all fine and perfect, back to normal, because for you it isn’t really. He can’t call you ‘love’ and tell the world you’re funny and expect it to be enough. He can’t sing his sorry that was initially for someone else to you and expect you to accept it. And he knows it, too.

After the show everyone decides they’re exhausted and need to rest before tomorrow. You all planned to celebrate the whole day and you knew it was going to be a wicked Halloween. Knowing this, you’re surprised with the knock on your door after about an hour of being back at the hotel. You’ve given up the habit you had once hoped to cultivate and swing the door open haplessly. Truly having no idea who to expect, you are still surprised to find the man standing before you.

“Mitch.”

“We need to talk.” He stares down at you, his shoulders slumped from tiredness.

“Come in,” you usher him in when you hear the urgency of his voice. He saunters in before you and you close the door. You move to the small couch in the room and sit down. Your hands gesture for him to sit as well, but he shakes his head. He stays standing and brings a hand up to smooth his hair back on the right side. His eyes staying on the floor and flickering up to you every so often.

“What is going on with you and Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Y/N. You’re seemingly best friends with him for a good portion of tour, then you’re barely on speaking terms for the second half, now you’re joking around again. What is going on?”

You sit there in a stunned silence, “I don’t know what to say.” Your arms go to hug your body, feeling anxious about being confronted about this topic.

“Were you seeing each other?” His voice is soft, eyes taking in your body language and knowing it’s a difficult topic.

“I wouldn’t put it like that…”

He holds back the ‘I knew it’ statement because of  how sullen you look, b..ut in his mind all of the pieces he had watched unfold came to fit in a perfect puzzle. He decides to sit beside you when you don’t say anything else.

“We were having sex,” it felt weird to say it out loud, no one but you and Harry had actually known, “But it ended. I don’t know what today was...but it felt different than how it’s been.”

“Why are you so sad if it was just sex?” He places a hand on your shoulder and your tear-filled eyes meet his. “Oh…” He knows why.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You sob at his apology because he’s not the one who should be at your door apologizing. You sniffle and lean your head into his chest. He takes you into his arms and holds you as your cries become muffled sounds in his shirt.

You cry without words for a few minutes, Mitch coos some soothing words, his voice soft and kind. He was always a good shoulder to cry on for all of your bandmates, he was extremely strong and you made a mental note to thank him thoroughly when you actually were capable of forming coherent thoughts. “I’ve never told anyone before. It feels so weird even saying it out loud,” you say as you pull back from Mitch’s embrace. You're thankful his shirt is black, no tear stains can be made out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks gently, gauging your reaction. You wipe at your eyes and nod.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to start from the beginning. “Do you remember the party Charlotte had a week before we left for tour?”

Mitch nods and his eyes widen at what you’re saying as he remembers the night. “It started back then?” He’s unable to contain his incredulous question. He had suspected something, but hadn’t thought it had been going on for that long. He was truly astounded. You nod, “Well sort of,” then you go on to recount the last couple of months. All the way up until the Forum shows. “That night, when I opened Harry’s door and it was you standing there...Harry and I didn’t have anything to discuss. It was just…” Mitch nods again. He hadn’t spoken much since you had gotten into the story, wanting to let you be in charge of what you were saying and believing he could probably ask questions at the end. “Then the next night he blew me off for his date with that model and I cried in the elevator because I knew what was going to happen next.”

“So that’s when it ended?” Mitch asks when you don’t speak for a rather extended period of time.

“Yeah, the next morning he came over and I asked if they had sex and he said yes so I told him it was over.”

“But I don’t get why he went out with that model. He had told me she wasn’t his type the night before…” Your eyes shot up and looked at Mitch. His eyes widened when he realized what he said.

“What?”

“When we were talking about Canyon Moon, he mentioned that Jeff had tried to set him up with some woman but he had declined. Said he wasn’t interested. I don’t get what changed between then and the next morning.” He figured it was best to put all the cards out on the table right now. You’d be going your separate ways for a while, now that the tour was over and he had seen how unhappy both you and Harry had been over the last part of the tour.

You shift your leg to have it folded beneath you as you continue to stare at Mitch. “He came over after you and him had your meeting,”  you say quietly. Mitch hums, waiting for you to continue this time.

“He apologized for choosing you over me to talk to. Then we slept together, but we didn’t have sex...I think that’s what wigged him. It had felt too real, sleeping in the same bed with me without having sex beforehand made it feel like something more than just two people fulfilling needs.” Mitch nods and sighs heavily. He looks around the room and then back to you, taking in your full appearance. Again he feels terrible for you, how he had felt the second night at the Forum even though he hadn’t known the full story yet. “Now we’re here.”

“Tonight, it felt like he was trying,” Mitch finally said and you smiled sweetly, thinking back to Harry’s behavior. No matter how far from him you were, all those good feelings you associated with him never went away.

“Yeah, it’s been getting better. He texted me once saying he was trying. Then he came out with us one night and it almost seemed like that would be the night he’d apologize, but then he didn’t. Then we started sharing music with each other again. Then tonight… was tonight. It’s just confusing. He’s confusing.”

Mitch smiles sadly and brings you in for another hug and you’re actually so thankful he

showed up at your door. It was your first time telling anyone all of this, because Harry didn’t even know how you felt about some of these things. It felt amazing to be heard and to be told it was okay to be feeling like this.

Pulling back, Mitch says, “He’s definitely different. But his differences are what make him special and that’s why I think he clings to them even if they sometimes can hurt other people. The fact that he’s trying is a good sign. I hope he can find it in himself to make it right between you two because I had never seen either of you happier than when you were apparently together. Especially those few weeks leading up to Los Angeles. Sarah had kept asking me why Harry was so smiley back then. When I had asked him, he had just said “have you ever found something and realized you wanted to keep it with you forever?” I had no idea what he had meant, but I feel like he meant you now.”

Your awestruck at what Mitch has just told you. He was right about the first part about Harry trying to change, but the last bit, that’s what had left you speechless. You turn your body to face the rest of the room and put your chin against your hand as you think.

“Mitch...I have to go.”

He understands what you mean and you walk out of the door with him. He walks down the hall to his room and you walk quickly past the elevator and opt for the stairs. Before you know it you’re running up the stairs, taking two at a time even though you’re not the most athletically inclined. You can’t stand to wait for the elevator and your mind is racing.

You knock on the door that is Harry’s after reaching his floor. It swings open and reveals a confused and sleepy Harry. Thankfully he’s still fully dressed because that would have been a whole other problem you would have if he hadn’t been. You push past him and walk straight into his room without any invitation. He follows behind you, still unsure of why you’ve come here.

“Have you ever found something and realized you want to keep it forever?” You ask him, repeating the words Mitch had just told you.

“Pardon?”

“You told Mitch that about me before we ended things. If that’s how you felt, why didn’t you do what you said?”

Harry sighs as the words register in his mind. The memory of when he had smiled at Mitch so giddily and asked the vague question, his thoughts only of you as he asked it. The shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face after Mitch had looked at him confusedly flitted across his mind. As well as the way he had gone to his dressing room and had a quickie with you after that conversation.

“It’s not that simple…”

“It is, Harry! Why can’t you just be honest with me for once?”

“Okay, fine. You want me to be honest?” you nod at his harsh tone. The two of you standing only a few feet apart. “You have no goddamn idea what you do to me, when I’m around you, I have no control of my emotions or of my thoughts. I pushed you away because I didn’t like feeling out of control. I got out because what had started as a fun time had turned into me longing to be with you every waking hour. I found myself not caring what we did as long as I got to hold you and be around you, but that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plans can change, Harry.”

You step closer to him and he meets your eyes. He had left his music playing softly on his phone before he had opened the door so now as the two of you stared at each other, he must have been playing his Etta James playlist because her voice faded out of the song “I’d Rather Go Blind” and straight into “A Sunday Kind of Love”. Harry had shared her At Last album with you over the Christmas holiday of last year and you had decided to listen to her entire discography afterwards, so you knew the songs. The transition was a little too on the nose and you wondered if Spotify ever listened to your conversations.

His emerald eyes examine your face and take inventory of your features, measuring whether anything had changed since he had looked at you this close up. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek and he nuzzles into it, dropping his head closer to you ever so slightly and closing his eyes at the feeling of you.

“I am sorry,” he whispers earnestly as he reopens his eyes.

You can’t take your eyes off of him even if you tried. He looks so soft in the moment, so vulnerable in this light as the music swells in the corner of the room. Etta sings about how she needs a love that is going to last as the pair of you inch yourselves closer together.

“I forgive you, Harry,” you whisper back.

He nudges his head further down and your lips finally press together, slotting back together after months apart. Your lips are eager to press back against their favorite companion. You oblige them, but pull back for a second, just far enough to say, “I will always forgive you, so long as you tell me when you’re scared so we can work through it together.”

He nods, “I promise to never let you go again.” Before taking you back against his lips and gathering your body up in his arms. His lips missing yours just as much.

-

#fallinharry10k #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #long one shot #first fic in awhile #pls lemme know what you think #I've missed putting work out #im equally nervous and excited #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #am I forgetting tags?? #can't remember #oh well #def meant to call this keep it forever but forgot #oops #also lots of mitch #bc I love Mitch Rowland with my whole heart