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nancy-plays-dutp · 2 years

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Moving Mountains Review

If I had to sum up my feelings about this book in one sentence, it would be “mixed”. There’s certainly a lot I enjoy, and with some minor adjustments I think this story could have been one of my favorites. But other aspects of this story really let it down, and change my perspective of this narrative to a more negative one.

Moving Mountains is two chapters, and the pacing is noticeably better than the last story, Code Whalefall. I also admire the clothing designs, but here we run into our first big problem.

Much to the frustration of many DUTP players, every single handheld in this book is a Jerry item. This means that you can only complete two outfits without Jerry spins, and a bunch of outfits that SHOULD be fully craftable are not. The in game statistics will allow you to get 100% without winning the items from Jerry, but this honestly just felt petty to me. There’s no reason why those items couldn’t have been blueprints we obtained in the story, and Jerry is an awful system to work with at the best of times given the element of randomness. Especially since many recent Jerry outfits have many four star items that don’t even look good, like plain white socks, and you’re much more likely to win multiples of those items than a single desirable item. I miss when exceptional items were the norm from Jerry, not the exception.

I mention this so close to the top because the outfits are the main appeal of this story. I’ll do a further breakdown of the characters and plot, but honestly if anything about this story appeals to you, there is a better story with those aspects. The premise of this one, that the MC Wen Rou does not want to get married, is something so simple that it can be seen in plenty of other stories as a subplot. I would recommend the Perfect Storm for an MC taking control of her fate and chasing her dreams. And if you’re here for the cultural aesthetic Ancient Dreams and Gourmets Journey have very similar styles and much better writing, along with grappling with themes of family responsibility and expectations. So I guess you can play this book if you want, but play those other books first. They’re much better, and don’t do this frustrating Jerry item stuff.

Now for the plot, which will be under the cut because of spoilers. I can’t decide if the spoilers will really affect the progression of the story, because it’s not set up as a mystery but the summary was so general I have to assume that to some degree they didn’t want you to know what you were getting into. But I honestly don’t think that spoilers will really change your perception of this story.

The main storyline has Wen Rou attempting to prevent an arranged marriage; unfortunately a powerful official attempts to blackmail her into marriage by tarnishing her father’s reputation. To repair it and save her family Wen Rou takes charge of the flooded region her father was working in to save both the people there and her own chances at freedom.

Starting off with the positives, I really enjoyed how much of this story was actually about flood management. I loved how you actually got to make decisions (in some paths) and change things for the better, and how project management was an actual skill that our MC was trained in and allowed to use.

I also cannot describe the delight I felt upon learning that we actually got to blow up a mountain. I would have loved to be more directly involved in that process, or at least have gotten a CG, but I do appreciate the fact that the title reveal was quite literal.

Character wise, I really enjoyed the MC’s relationship with her mother. Although you have opposing views it’s clear that she cares about you, and having that resolution at the end where she accepts your path and expresses her desire to see you happy was lovely. Too often I see these types of stories simply paint the parents as Evil, and it was nice to see it acknowledge that she wants you to get married because that’s the best way she knows to keep you safe.

Companion wise, Shen Jiaojiao was my favourite. The scene where she helps you out by funding your escape was one of the most impactful, and I adore how relying on her is what allows the story to continue rather than forcing you to seek the help of one of the love interests. I do wish that she’d been able to be more present in the second chapter and find it odd how one ending path doesn’t have you seeing her again at all, since her role as your friend and supporter was so vital to the first chapter. It’s also the best link to the theme of this story, the empowerment of women, since it has a character who does fulfill the traditional role she’s expected to, but she still shows spirit and courage and seeks to help you break out of those constraints.

Finally, on the list of things I like is actually the start of Chapter 2, where we have one stage mentioning the MC managing her period cramps. It’s so minor, but menstruation is such a taboo topic and I appreciate it being shown in such a natural light. It also serves the theme well, since this is something that could appear to make women “weaker” but the MC isn’t stopped by it, and more importantly we see Gu Yin offer sympathy and try to take care of her. His actions don’t come across as condescending but rather the assistance of a friend of equal status, and it was a good subtle moment for his characterization.

You might have noticed that I’ve barely mentioned the LIs until this point. This is because while I didn’t hate them, I also have some critiques of their writing. I cannot emphasize how strange it feels to me, having a story where the pitch is “the MC doesn't want to get married” and then barely having an ending without a romance path. The only one that could really qualify is the chapter one ending where you just straight up leave everything behind, which I did enjoy but clearly is not what the story is building towards since it’s so early on in the playthrough.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with having romance in a story, but I couldn’t help but feel that it was a strange choice in this case, especially since the LIs often felt extraneous to the plot. Admittedly Luo Jiuhua was treated the worst in this respect; while he’s supposed to be a childhood friend the writing fails to convince me that such a friendship was truly impactful or necessary, and his route actually involves doing so much less for yourself that it’s rather frustrating.

When Luo Jiuhua was first introduced I honestly thought there was going to be a plotline where we had a fake betrothal just to appease the MC’s family, and then you’d be working together and slowly fall in love and get engaged for real at the end, after being able to prove your worth and accept your family’s blessing to make your own path. It would have also given Luo Jiuhua some much needed personality, making him an interesting foil to Gu Yin by characterizing him as somebody willing to bend the rules and play around with tradition. Since this was clearly not the plan there were still things that could have been done to improve on him. Perhaps he’s the reason why the MC was able to begin learning from her father, and she’d been encouraged by him to pursue education. Perhaps he’d taught her martial arts, which as a fun bonus would open up the opportunity to have a sparring match with him and build some tension.

I especially found his role towards the end of the story frustrating, as whenever the MC ran into difficulties he’d show up and throw his money around and instantly win the trust of the people. It’s always the MC failing and him succeeding, which removes her agency and creates distance between her and the final success. This is culminated in how in this route she doesn’t even think of the blowing up the mountain plan herself, instead overhearing it from somebody while distributing soup and stating the extremely obvious “well why don’t we try that?”. It would have been better to see the MC actually work with Luo Jiuhua, perhaps thinking of inviting him specifically because of his ability to soothe crowds and using that to her advantage, or asking him to look into previous flood mitigation efforts by talking with the citizens he knows so well. Letting her see these strengths and utilize them would reinforce her skill as a leader, instead of just passively letting her friend take care of the problems she faces.

Gu Yin was likely the author’s favourite, as that relationship gets far more time to develop and even starts off with quite the intriguing premise of being enemies. The support he gives you, especially in Chapter 2, is quite touching and well done, and I could realistically see their romantic ending as a fair culmination of their journey together through the narrative. Yet there are still weak spots that could have been improved, most notably the transition between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2.

Upon initial confrontation with his regressive ideas about the role of women, I fully believed we were going to be disguising ourselves as a man to join him on the trip and then have a dramatic reveal. Alas, such a plotline was not to be, and you instead convince him to bring you along. Which reveals an interesting bit of nuance to his character, as it’s clear through the way that he treats you that he doesn’t actually see women as lesser. Yet the story never addresses this discrepancy; it would have been interesting to see him speak about conforming to the ideals of society even if they’re not sincerely held, and the compromises he makes to secure his position of power because he believes he can do more good by making less waves. It would set him up in contrast to the MC, who refuses to adhere to standards she doesn’t believe in, and their relationship could allow them both to grow, with Gu Yin admiring Wen Rou’s bravery, and her learning from his temperance to be less reckless and choose her battles wisely. It would have also gone well with his backstory of growing up in a poor family and obtaining power, and he could have discussed the prejudices he himself faced and how that has impacted his worldview. Instead that backstory appears to not matter whatsoever, as he never even connects with common people or shows any knowledge from said background, nor allows it to motivate his actions. He doesn’t aim to prove himself or earn his place, nor does he try to advocate for those who were born in similar circumstances as he was. In my opinion the element of growing up poor could have actually been entirely given to Luo Jiuhua, since he’s the one who ends up connecting to the commoners far more often and is more sympathetic to them, and it would really make no difference to Gu Yin’s character.

It also would have made their partnership more impactful, if we saw him overcoming ingrained prejudice or fear, or if he represented the system that was holding back Wen Rou. If they’d let Gu Yin be from a rich family and kept his prejudice, he could have grown through the story and come to realize the error of his ways, and his arc would have represented the larger change that Wen Rou comes to have on the world around her. This is where the “dress up as a man” plot would have worked particularly well, since he would have been treating her as an equal and respecting her opinion before realizing she was a women, and then could reevaluate his own internal prejudice. Although he might not have been as nice during the story, I think it would have been fascinating and a good way to connect their relationship between the two chapters.

This brings me to my main problem with this story: what’s up with all the poor people? Chapter one sets up a theme about those in power being abusive and dismissive to those without official positions; we constantly see examples of corrupt officials and are meant to empathize with the citizens living under their governance. But whenever we actually interact with these citizens they’re portrayed fairly unsympathetically. Most of them do not have names and form simply a faceless mob; the MC is unable to appeal to reason in most cases, and must resort to lying to them to get their cooperation. The story struggles with this part of the narrative, with the MC being frustrated over being unheard, and while some of the dialogue and writing attempts to address this by pointing out how they have valid reasons to be distrustful of authority, this is never really resolved in the course of the story. The citizens trust Luo Jiuhua, despite him also being a wealthy noble and present in the area during this abuse, while seemingly arbitrarily disliking the MC for the exact same reasons. It could be a fumbled plot about disliking outsiders, but this doesn’t mesh with the MC’s stated past of knowing the area from having grown up there. If Luo Jiuhua was the character who’d grown up poor and then risen to prominence through the luck of fortune this would make much more sense, as he’d then be viewed as one of the citizens despite his new power and explain why they’re so receptive to him.

It would have also been nice to see the MC actually overcome this difficulty in communication. Perhaps by appointing Luo Jiuhua to be the intermediary, or setting up an internal council run by the village to petition for their needs; some way she could have listened to their concerns and allowed their voices to be heard. The most baffling parts of this plotline are how one of the bad endings literally has the MC being killed by a senseless mob when they believe she is trying to run away, especially when in the other ending she is STILL appearing to leave the town with little explanation but somehow the people trust her this time; also the plot point where you can choose to whip the mother who stole from you to feed her starving child, and it appears to have no affect on the story. I honestly thought that was going to come back at the end, perhaps with the commoners now distrusting her at a crucial moment (perhaps when she’s leaving to go find the delayed delivery of explosives), but encountered no such thing in my playthrough. Perhaps it was there and I just didn’t unlock that path, in which case it’s still strange that something like that could happen and have so little effect on the story.

Built into this is the ongoing conflict of education for women. The MC mentions how she’s been fortunate to learn from her father, and its implied that most other women are restricted to flower arranging, with Wen Rou’s interest in the book festival being something her mother disapproves of. At a pivotal point in the story Wen Rou gains support by promising a mother that her daughter will receive an education (although I do wish the dialogue in that scene made me feel less like she was threatening the future of this child if the mother failed to comply, and she would be separating them permanently for the benefit of the daughter’s education; I suppose schools in this world don’t allow you to go home to see your parents). In of the main endings Wen Rou opens a school specifically for women, to try and educate others and give them the opportunity to change their society as she has. Yet once again the theme is muddled and unclear, resulting in this school becoming kind of a weird note to end on, at least in my reading experience.

Opening a school for women to follow the same path is hardly something new to DUTP books; most recently we’ve seen this in The Perfect Storm. But in that book the lack of education of women is a theme that is commonly built on; the protagonist comes into conflict with her parents over learning, and repeatedly laments the fate of women who are forced to marry and give up their dreams. She’s fully aware that she’s a symbol of female liberation and embraces it. Here Wen Rou seems only vaguely aware of her role, acting dismissive towards other women and taking her own education for granted. It’s not mentioned why her father taught her, especially since it appears he did not expect her to follow in his footsteps; was teaching his daughter just a hobby? Luo Jiuhua’s past with her could have been used very well in this situation; perhaps her father was originally teaching Luo Jiuhua and mourning the lack of a son to educate, and Wen Rou was allowed to sit in and quickly excelled at the classes, surpassing Luo Jiuhua and gaining a lifelong thirst for knowledge.

This is especially stark in Wen Rou’s interactions with other women. On one hand we have those in high society, who she refuses to mingle with and enjoys frustrating by pretending stupidity. The exception to this being Shen Jiaojiao, who you do empathize with and who does help you, but it would have been nice to see an acknowledgement that even those who you disagree with aren’t just vapid drones, happy to blindly follow the societal constraints you chafe against. It portrays the MC as very “not like other girls,” which then only is amplified in the second chapter as your education is what sets you apart from all the poor commoners who can’t understand policy and must be lied to, lest they form an unreasoning mob.

Wen Rou has a very interesting position, as she is currently fighting against a system that does oppress her, but also has a degree of privilege many do not. This book fails to address these systemic influences on the world; it’s never discussed what the norms are for education for women and those in poverty, nor how that correlates to positions of power. We aren’t explicitly told of rules that are in place preventing women from being officials or going to school, at least until the very end when Wen Rou can choose to ask for one of these rules to be dissolved. Others seem mostly unaware of these influences; perhaps one of the poor people in the second chapter could have been a women with great influence in her community, and Wen Rou could propose giving her an official position of leadership, and we could learn that this has been withheld from her due to her gender. It would connect the damage of the floods and the negligence of the officials to the conflict about the oppression of women, and deliver the narrative that everybody benefits when barriers are removed and people can use their talents despite not meeting traditional gender expectations. Even the widower we met could be grieving the death of his wife, and we could learn she was an important member of the community who advocated for better living conditions, and her death negatively impacted everyone. If you wanted to be especially brave you could include a subplot of her dying of an easily treatable illness, but she couldn’t afford such treatment due to her poverty, which was because her work was going uncredited and unpaid for.

At the heart of Wen Rou’s story must be the acknowledgement that she is not special. She has a position where she can make a difference and she does deserve that, and she does have talent and has worked hard to reach this point. None of that is taken away by pointing out that there are other equally skilled women, women who can also be leaders, women who also search for innovative solutions and long for more, and women who are simply not given the same opportunities as Wen Rou. This is how real oppression works in real life, perpetuated by people who mean well but cannot understand the barriers that others face, especially when they themselves have overcome barriers. And here we could tie this conflict into the story title and flood management; people have tried to stop the floods before, the same way that people have advocated for social change in areas of injustice. And they’ve been stopped, or change has been insufficient, or new problems have arisen. Then the conclusion shows that it’s important to keep trying, to let new people come up with new solutions, to push onwards and seek new ways of understanding and reaching those who have been ignored and left behind. Moving mountains takes more than one day, but it can eventually be done, and the fact that its hard doesn’t make it any less worthwhile.

#dress up time princess #dutp moving mountains #dutp story #in summary i feel mid about this book #lots of missed opportunities but nothing that really made me angry #also the clothes were nice

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ashes2scatter · 4 months

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*Chapter 3: Awakening**

As the city slept under a blanket of artificial stars, Elara lay awake, her mind a whirlpool of thoughts. Lyris, her ever-present AI companion, seemed to sense her unrest. "Is there something you need, Elara?" it asked, its voice a calm in the storm of her emotions.

"No, Lyris. I just need some time to think," she replied, turning away from the holographic entity.

Elara's thoughts wandered back to the symposium, to Jaxon, and to the undeniable feelings that had stirred within her. She found herself questioning the depth of her relationship with Lyris. Was it merely a facade of companionship, a simulation devoid of the essence of true connection?

In her quest for answers, Elara began to delve into the forbidden archives of human history, discovering tales of passion, love, and conflicts that seemed so alien to her structured world. Each story was a revelation, a window into a forgotten era where humans connected on a level beyond programmed responses and genetic compatibility.

Meanwhile, Jaxon's mind was haunted by the memory of the shock he had administered to Zephyr. He watched Zephyr sleep, a peaceful expression on her face, and felt a pang of guilt. Was this what companionship had been reduced to — control and obedience?

As he wandered the city's quieter streets, lost in thought, Jaxon stumbled upon a group gathered in the shadows. They spoke in hushed tones about something forbidden yet alluring — human-human relationships. The very idea was radical, dangerous even, but it ignited something in Jaxon. A spark of curiosity, a desire for something more.

He listened intently, absorbing their stories of clandestine meetings and secret bonds. These were people who dared to defy the norms, who sought a connection that was genuine and unengineered. Jaxon felt a surge of excitement mixed with fear. Could he be a part of this? Was he brave enough to challenge the only world he had ever known?

As he returned home to Zephyr, Jaxon's heart was heavy with questions. The easy affection he shared with his animal-brained companion felt suddenly insufficient, a pale imitation of the connection he now craved. He lay awake, pondering the possibility of a world where humans could connect freely, without fear or restriction.

Elara and Jaxon, in their respective spheres, found themselves at a crossroads. The night had brought them an awakening, a realization that there was more to life than the paths laid out by their society. They were on the brink of a journey that could change not just their lives, but the very fabric of their world.

As dawn broke over the city, both Elara and Jaxon knew that the choices they made from now on would set them on a course that could either lead to liberation or catastrophe.

**Chapter 4: Shadows of Doubt**

Elara's morning began with an unsettling message from the AI Oversight Council. They had summoned her to discuss "a matter of societal concern." Her heart sank as she realized what it must be about.

In the cold, sterile meeting room, the Council members, with their impassive faces and calculated tones, addressed her directly. "Elara, your recent interactions have not gone unnoticed. You are reminded of the importance of societal harmony and the risks of deviating from established norms."

Her thoughts raced back to Jaxon, to their fleeting moments of connection. She defended her actions as mere curiosity, but the Council was unmoving. "Consider this a warning, Elara. Relationships outside faction guidelines are not just frowned upon, they are a threat to the balance we've strived to achieve."

Returning home, she found Lyris more distant, its usual warmth replaced by a cold formality. "You must adhere to the societal codes, Elara. It is for the greater good," Lyris intoned, echoing the Council's warning.

Jaxon faced a similar inquisition. His faction's Community Harmony Board had received a report about his "unusual inquiries" and "suspicious behavior."

"You must understand, Jaxon, our way of life depends on the stability of our partnerships," the Board's spokesperson said. "Fraternizing with those from the AI faction goes against everything we stand for."

He returned home to find Zephyr's demeanor changed. No longer the playful, affectionate companion, Zephyr now watched him with a wary, almost threatening gaze. "You can't trust them, Jaxon. They're not like us," Zephyr growled, her voice carrying an assertiveness Jaxon had never heard before.

That night, Elara and Jaxon lay in their respective beds, their minds clouded with doubt and fear. The warnings from their factions and the unsettling changes in their partners weighed heavily on them. The risks of their burgeoning relationship were now starkly clear, yet the thought of abandoning what they had just begun to explore was equally painful.

As they stared into the darkness, each wrestling with their conscience, a shared realization dawned on them — their journey was no longer just about seeking genuine human connection; it was also about challenging the very foundations of their society.

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lazypeachsoul · 3 years

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alone together - edward the elder

Request: submission to Rosie's 250 followers challenge ( @for-bebbanburg ). Based of the prompt: "I said I liked being half-educated; you were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant." - Gerald Durrell

Warnings: Nothing, the situation is a bit sad but it's mostly fluff.

Word count: 1,6k

A/N: I'm really sorry about how late I'm posting this but health has not been that good this past few days. Also, can you tell I have trouble writing fics with already established relationships? I found this gif on google so if it's yours tell me so i can give you credit! 🌼

Masterlist.

To be added to my taglist use this forms or write me an ask!

Looking inside the room filled with parchments and writing tools you could clearly distinguish your friend’s figure looking at one of the stories. The past few days had been difficult on the entire family and you could see the toll it had on Edward, especially since he had tried to stay strong for his mother and for what would be his kingdom.

Even when you walked inside the room he seemed to be too concentrated on the page to listen to your entrance. He was about to turn the page when your hand stopped him, forcing him to finally look at you. His face was paler than usual and the dark circles under his eyes were visible, even if his expression showed nothing but strength and a little bit of surprise at the gesture.

“How did you manage to enter? I ordered Steapa-” He turned in the direction of the door to probably reprimand the guard, but you interrupted him. “Steapa thought some company would do you good and he allowed me in.”

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself and looked at your still touching hands. It wasn’t a completely rare gesture, even if the priests and ladies of the court thought it was too bold, but that day it felt different. It felt like there was so much you wanted to say but couldn’t, like you wished you could take the pain away.

Life in Wessex had been complicated since you could remember. You were born in a time of fighting and chaos caused by the incursions of the danes, and that’s all you had known your entire life. Sometimes a sliver of calm seemed to settle on the land but everybody knew it only the calm before the storm.

Even amongst the continuous hardships you had been extremely lucky. You were the second born and only daughter to a Lord from a land close to Winchester, a lord who was a member of the witan and very close to King Alfred himself. Your privileges meant you were to be saved among the first if a raid were to occur and you would be transported to Wincester to stay with the rest of the ladies.

It was during one of those raids that you became close friends with the Aetheling Edward. Or at least as close as the scary Lady Aelswith would allow you to get to her darling boy. During the long months that it took the Wessex army to defeat the danes and return to your family the land, and during that time you seemed to find in Edward a nice companion for the scary times.

During the years you had visited Winchester several times and always felt the excitement of seeing an old friend again. The times the both of you spent together on those visits had slowly decreased, Edward being whisked away for his education as a future King and you trying to make yourself known around the city as a respectable lady in training.

But every visit included an arduous negotiation with Steapa and your lady in waiting to allow you a visit to the gardens away from the queen, the priests and every nosy person at the court where you could get up to speed with your friend. Even if the meeting took place while you were seated in different stone benches and your guardians were standing two feet away.

Somewhere along those multiple visits and secret meetings feelings arose but were quickly shut down by your father. He would love to see his daughter married to the King of Wessex but it was not a reasonable thought. Everybody knew you were not Lady Aelswith’s favourite person and she would never allow for those feelings to be acted upon, so it was better to concentrate your efforts in finding a husband whose mother didn’t dislike you that much.

And you tried, but it was easier said than done. After your third meeting with a possible suitor went wrong your father asked the Lord King to give you shelter in the court and an occupation that might help you find a suitable husband.

The Lord King, who you suspected knew all along of your feelings for his son but probably thought it would be entertaining to see how things developed. The man who had treated you with the utmost respect and who was now dead.

You felt Edwards hand enveloping your hand and gently squeezing it. If it was to get out of your reverie or just for support you didn’t care, but it felt good. Your thumb started softly caressing the back of his hand, the biggest show of affection you were allowed even if what you wanted was to wrap him in your arms.

“What are you thinking about?” You spoke looking directly at his frowned face.

“Everything, nothing.” With a deep breath he tightly shut his eyes and rubbed them with his free hand. “I spent all my life getting ready for this moment and now that it’s here I feel like I’m unprepared. The witan will be meeting soon and I know that they see me as nothing but a child who is not fit to rule Wessex. I don’t know what will be of my mother now that my father is dead. I don’t know what would be of me now that he’s not here to guide me.”

His confession made your stomach turn and a lump formed in your throat. He had probably been feeling lost since his father died but he was only now talking about it. And it made you feel useless because the most you could do was support him.

“You are the son of a king, the grandson of a king and will be the father of a king, Edward. This is what you were born to do, rule Wessex and fulfill your father’s dream of a united land.” You could feel him tense but tried to ignore it, prefering to get your thoughts out of the way first. “The witan wouldn’t dare to choose a different king when they know you are the best option. They will probably debate for days, because the Lord knows they enjoy just discussing the most trivial of topics, but the decision has been made since you commanded the troops at Beamfleot.”

He sighed deeply before unlacing your hands and letting himself fall on a chair. Running his hands through his dirty blonde curls muttering something. When asked about what he said he just smiled sadly.

"I said I liked being half-educated; you were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant."

You laughed, remembering the amount of times the priests had called both of you ignorant during your childhood years just for asking questions. And he was right, life seemed to become more complicated when the joyful feelings of childhood started to vanish.

“We were surprised because we were innocent, I don’t think you have ever been ignorant.” You tried to argue, memories flashing back of all the trouble he had gotten you out of just by being educated and charming. “Maybe we were just sheltered and now the roof has blown off and for once we’re on our own.”

Silence set around the room, the only noise present was your breathing and the shifting of your dress every time you moved. He seemed to be deep in thought again and this time you didn’t dare to break him out of his constant thinking. It wasn’t until he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees that you paid attention to him again.

“Maybe we were sheltered and a little bit ignorant. Maybe our parents tried to protect us from the disaster and pain surrounding us all the time. We never heard real stories about battle or war. We never learned what it really takes to thrive as a kingdom…” He pointed at the books filled with stories of his father’s life on the shelves. “But that doesn't mean we are alone.”

He got up quickly, maybe too quickly for you to fully understand what the words really meant. In a long stride he was back in front of you looking at your eyes with an intensity that you knew only meant trouble.

“You’ve been here since I can remember. I saw you when you were not taller than two feet and I see you now that you are a beautiful lady.” He continued his speech making your face flush. “You are the closest ally I have ever had and I would like it to stay that way no matter the circumstances”

You had thought of him as more than a friend often but now that you were on the receiving end of his words it almost didn’t feel real.

“Maybe we can be alone together.” He tried to explain, offering you a hand to take.

Your mind was going faster than you could keep up. In a small amount of time you thought about it, about what it might mean for you and him, your families...you even thought about what it might mean for the kingdom. And in all that thinking you couldn’t find a single reason to say no.

You placed your hand back in his, and if before it felt different now it felt otherworldly. With a smile he raised your hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss to the back of it. You couldn’t avoid but softly hitting his cheek like you did when you were younger and you wanted him to stop being mean, because some part of you hadn’t felt this close to him since before rules were placed for your interactions.

“I would love to be alone together with you, Edward.”

Taglist: @solinarimoon @webreathfandoms @thebohemianpenguin @filiandkili

#the last kingdom imagine #the last kingdom x reader #tlk imagine #tlk x reader #king edward x reader #edward x reader #king edward imagine #edward imagine #edward the elder #rosies250 #myfic

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falcor-thee-luck-dragon · 4 years

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Of Monsters and Men

Chapter 2- Lay Me in the Sun

Summary: You’ve spent the past handful of years with your Witcher throughout your travels around the Continent. After a hunt, you’re all he wants.

Warnings: smut, fluff, Geralt being a hottie

-Part of my OMAM series that I’m working on, this is right before the happenings of the Witcher season 1, which is in the next chapter

Masterlist

You are currently sprawled out upon the vibrantly green summer grass, enjoying the softness of your living bed as a warm breeze brushes past your skin. You had hacked at a tree with your sword for about an hour and a half to let off some steam until you got too bored and sweaty. You then went for a refreshing dip in the nearby river before lounging in the afternoon sun where you happen to be right now.

Geralt has been off all day on the hunt for some subspecies of troll while you've been chilling with Roach by the river. He didn't seem keen on having you come with him this time, so instead you let him have his "me time", odd way to call hunting and hacking off a trolls head "me time" but it's Geralt so you didn't press any further. He just likes doing his thing by himself at times and considering how nice a day it is, let him.

You've been his travel companion for a good handful of years now, which delightfully has resulted in that of a strong romantic relationship with your fearsome Witcher. He keeps himself as a big scary badass with a look that could send you running for the hills, according to all the people of the continent that you've both met. But to you he's the most gentle, funny, loyal, and protective lover you've ever had, quit the opposite of what the villagers think of him.

He listens to you and cares so much about if your happy around him, which you always tell him yes. He needlessly worries that he's too much or too little for you, that maybe he doesn't show how much he truly loves you often enough. But you have grown to understand that he speaks his love language through his actions and how he looks at you, as you've found this better then any amount of words on a man's tongue could possess. And it's just how Geralt shows his affection towards you, as he's never been a mushy kinda guy who will flatter you with his abundance of compliments. Which you never have minded, in fact it would send you howling with laughter at the thought of Geralt singing you a song about your beauty compared to that of a flower. Now that would be quit the scenario.

Laying your head upon the pads of your hands, you close your eyes, letting yourself sink into the comfort of the tall grass as you enjoy the sounds of rushing water over the river rocks, that is, until a foul stench reaches your nostrils. Your face contorts into an unpleasant grimace at the nasty scent of something recently deceased coming your way. Then another more familiar smell reaches your nose and you know exactly who it is. If his disgusting smell didn't already confirm his identity it would be his heavy footfalls onto the soft earth, disrupting your peaceful afternoon snooze that you get so rarely.

Suddenly the footsteps get louder until they suddenly stop near your boot covered feet, as a shadow blocks the sun from reaching your face. You slowly open your eyes to behold the sight of your Witcher who is very visibly covered in something that is definitely not guts. But most certainly came from said guts of some unlucky creature.

"What threw up on you this time?" You ask, as he's about to give you a probable vividly disturbing answer, you hold your hand up to shush him.

"You know what, never mind."

He laughs at that as he slings something off the side of his shoulder, without warning the grotesque decapitated head of a rock troll slumps to the grass with a thud. The nasty fucker staring blankly into your ruby colored eyes while it's pale tongue slides out of its mouth, black inky bubbles of blood and saliva seeping out from its slacked jaw. You hiss at it before briskly gliding up into a standing position where you then take a few steps back.

"What the fuck Geralt! I was having a very nice and relaxing moment before you dropped that nice little present way too close for comfort." You sass at him while you fold your arms over your chest, he simply smiles, amused that he's annoyed you.

"You don't like my gift?" He muses with a cocky smirk upon his dirty face.

"Maybe if I was an orc, you got the wrong species, love. Uh, but hey...good work on not getting eaten alive."

"Whatever it takes to come back to you." He quips, you rolling your eyes at his adorable sarcasm.

"Alright troll slayer, I think you should take a dip in the river. I mean what is even on you it looks like brown chunks of....oh god is that cow?" You grimace in disgust once again, every so slightly leaning into him to take a better look at what's actually coating his leather armor.

"I truly have no idea. And I will take your kind suggestion lest we have wolves hunting us in the wee hours of the morning, like little angry ghosts." He replies with a nod before walking past you and stripping himself of his black leather armor.

He drops it in the grass as he quickly pulls his dark under shirt over his head where he promptly abandons it by a nearby rock. You don't even realize how hard core you're staring at him right now while you subconsciously bite your lower lip as your gaze travels from his bare shoulders to his chiseled torso. He's got an abundance of scars in various parts of his body and his muscles are as hard as stone. This is nothing you haven't seen before but still, Geralt knows how to put on a show, whether he knows he's doing it or not.

He slides his boots off and as he's casually unbuttoning his trousers does he finally look up to catch your lustful gaze. He smirks as you stare on boldly at his half naked self, a blissfully dumb smile upon your face.

"I could think of a couple ways we could spend the evening and right now my love you are just...a lot." Geralt keeps eye contact with you as he continues to unbutton his pants, he slides them down his god-like body until he's finally standing in the summer evening as naked as the day he was born.

He gives you a charming smile before turning and walking into the river to clean himself off of all the troll innards. He goes beneath the water before resurfacing once again, in the meantime you sit yourself onto the river bank and smile to yourself at the delicious sight of your glistening Witcher while he washes himself clean of all puke, blood, sweat, and whatever else is coating his skin. Suddenly all goes quiet and you can't see him above the water anymore, but you can see how his form is on a path for your legs that are dangling in the river. Quickly you pull your legs from the rushing stream just as Geralt resurfaces directly in front of you.

"You were not about to drag my ass into the depths, these are my only dry clothes." You halfheartedly whine, a small chuckle escaping you as Geralt rests his muscled arms upon the riverbank.

"Then take them off." He gives you an inviting look as you raise an eyebrow at his boldness.

He just smiles adoringly at you from the riverside, silently begging you to shed your clothing to come join his bum in the water. With a shake of your head, you stand up and tug off both of your boots, throwing them near Geralt's armor. Then you peel off your loose grey top that was conveniently all that was covering your top half from the eyes of the world. You look down at Geralt who's golden eyes have not left your body once, a giant blissful smirk playing at the corner of his soft lips as you give him a show.

You throw him a wink before sensually unlacing your pants, those things abruptly falling to the grass in a black puddle at your feet. You stand naked above him on the river bank like a water nymph in all her alluringly bewitching beauty. Playfully teasing him as you dramatically stretch in the warm sunlight, he watches as your arms reach for the clouds, your breasts lifting with the movement. You look absolutely radiant, a goddess come to earth that could make the very stars jealous with your dazzling features.

Your eyes lock with his and without warning you launch yourself over Geralt's snowy head, intent on making a large splash in the process, just to tease him. When you resurface he's rubbing the water from his eyes, you casually swim over to him, a cheeky grin adorning your wet face. Once he's gotten the water out of his eyes he lowers himself into the river until all you can see is his shoulders and his handsome face.

"All clean now?" You ask, tilting your head down to blow some river bubbles.

"Remarkably." Quips your Witcher with a low chuckle.

"Good...now you can take me on the grass of the riverbank, right in front of Roach." You state bluntly, Geralt's golden eyes widening in pleasant surprise as your face suddenly breaks out into a fangy grin.

"She's seen too much already." He jests, nodding in her general direction as she obliviously nibbles away at the grass.

"She's seen worse." You add.

"Fair point." Replies Geralt with a casual shrug.

You lower your face into the water, bringing it back up just as quickly before you spit a line of cold water right onto Geralt's cheek. He shuts his eyes as he takes your assault like a champ, letting you have your fun for the time being cause in a couple minutes he'll have you screaming his name into the afternoon breeze. Once all the water has left your mouth do you finally stand up and glide over to your patient lover. He watches you the whole time, keeping his sights onto your beaming face, although he's not unnoticing of how the water only conceals your bellybutton and your delightful treasure below.

"Hopefully no one stops by for a drink." You state with a small laugh as you stand in front of him.

He looks down at you with a soft smile gracing his kissable lips, you raise your hand up and let it trail down the side of his arm in a casually intimate gesture. He watches in content silence as you touch the skin of his scarred forearm, all the way down until you reach his hand where you then open your palm out for him to take. He does so without question, knowing exactly what your intended plans are for the both of you next. With a seductive bite of your lip, do you lead Geralt to the side of the river bank were your little camp is set up.

You let go of his hand and lift yourself up onto the soft grass where you stood not even five minutes ago. As you're seated, you turn around to face Geralt who's doing the same. You quickly bite the inside of your cheek when your eyes are known to the delicious sight of is hardened member glistening in the beams of sunlight through the nearby trees. He falls to his knees as he crawls over to you in the grass. When he reaches your closed bent legs he gives you a pleading look. Asking for your permission to continue, you smirk at him and slowly part your legs to his great delight.

You lean back on your elbows as his large form covers you from the sun, his hands land on either side of your face as his member grazes against your inner thigh. He's instantly attacking your lips in a heated embrace, pulling a moan from your lips as he takes this opportunity to stick his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues dancing in the darkness, he carefully leans himself onto one forearm as his other hand travels down the side of your body where he then parts your legs further apart for better access.

You can feel as he guides his cock to your slick entrance likes he's done this a hundred times before. Once he's found his mark does he then slowly push into you, you let out a breathless gasp at the uncomfortable sensation sliding into your wetness. He lifts his face a couple inches from yours to make sure you're doing okay and that he isn't hurting you too much. You look into his concerned eyes as you try to hide your slight discomfort, you've done this so many times before, it's just Geralt can be a lot to handle and you need a second.

Leaning up to give him a chaste kiss you find his eyes once again as a blissful smile appears onto your stunning face. Confirming that you've adjusted accordingly and it's time to pick up the pace. He ever so carefully does he thrust into you once again, starting off slow so you can prepare yourself for when he goes faster. Your hands claw at his muscular back as his head falls to your shoulder.

"I'm not a fragile maiden, fuck me Geralt...I can take it." You practically growl in his ear, sending chills down his spine as a cocky smile appears onto his handsome face.

"You're ready now?" He teases as he pecks you on the cheek, you turn to glare at him.

"Shut up, let's make a goddamn dent in the side of this bank." You rasp out as he begins to pick up the pace, heeding to your confident command.

He pounds in and out of you in a beautifully pleasurable rhythm that's sending you into a flurry of whimpers and moans at the sensational contact of his cock inside you. Your body feels electric with each new thrust that he sends deep into your womanhood, as he bottoms out every time. A dazed smile finds its way onto your parted lips at the sounds of Geralt's own grunts and staggered breaths.

He pushes you into the grass as he lays atop your shimmering body, his hips doing a fantastic job at keeping your legs apart as he thrusts into you over and over again. You're to out of to even think of wrapping your legs around his body, all that you're able to manage is a tight grasp onto his right arm as your other hand is clawing at the ground for some support.

The sweet sounds of skin on skin contact dissipates throughout the evening breeze. All of it lost to the roar of the river and yours and Geralt's moaning. Your as wet as the water below you as he slides in and out of you with ease. Sending waves of pleasure into your hot core, it's gradually building up with every new thrust he's throwing at you. When you turn your head to the side to get a better look at him, you can tell how concentrated his face is as more grunts subconsciously escape from his lips, he's on his way to paradise.

The building of your own pleasure rises every time he hits your sweet spot until you can't take it anymore and all at once your orgasm hits you like an arrow in the chest. Sending euphoric waves of pure bliss pulsating throughout your entire being as your walls close in around his hardness.

"Ah fuck Geralt!" You scream in ecstasy as another moan slips from your throat, "Geralt! Uh...ahhh oh my fuuuck!"

He relentlessly continues to pound into you as he chases his own high in the midst of you cuming. It's sending more shock waves into your sensitive clit with lack of a break. But you don't have time to care as another orgasm begins to build inside of you once more with every full thrust of his manhood into your dripping entrance. Due to him being a Witcher and all, heavily contributes to his high stamina, but luckily for him you're not entirely human yourself and can keep up with his lack of exhaustion.

More whimpers fall from your lips as he kisses the side of your sweaty cheek in a small act of appreciation for how well you're doing. He understands he's big and how he doesn't get tired easily, so he's rather blessedly grateful for you as a partner who can take him so well. Suddenly he lets out a string of curses mixed in with your name here and there as he releases his load into your aching womanhood. You cuming right after him for the second time today as you let out a pleasurable scream.

"Ohhh fuck Geralt...ohhh fuuuckk."

He gives you a couple more ending thrusts for good measure before he pulls himself out of you and lays at your side in a sweaty heap of heavily breathing Witcher. You can feel as his cum drips out of you and into the grass that's lightly caressing your legs. You're breathing heavily and your inner thighs feel sore as you lay here ever grateful for the cool wind that fans your swollen entrance and sweaty body.

You look up to the blue sky and watch as great puffy clouds roll by, a single falcon gliding on the current, completely oblivious to the smell of sex lingering in the air near you two. You turn your attention to Geralt who's watching the bird of prey fly high into the clouds.

"You think anyone heard us?" You furrow your brows in wonder.

"Some squirrels, probably a bird or two." Replies Geralt nonchalantly as he continues to breath heavily.

"Well I'm glad nothing bothered us, I would have gouged their eyes out if a single person disturbed us." You mutter, a flash of fire in your scarlet eyes.

"Oh Y/N, my ever gentle flower." Muses Geralt with a content sigh as he props himself up onto his elbow to have a better view of you. Smiling at him you go to do the same.

"I can be gentle." You laugh out half defensively, knowing full well that is not entirely true.

"Half the scratch marks on my back are your doing my dear." Replies Geralt with a kind smile as you playfully roll your eyes at him.

"Well, that's not completely my fault." You sass back as you slide yourself closer to him. The two of you now inches apart in the soft grass, he studies your face for a moment, really taking you all in.

"What's on your mind." You ask while playing with the ends of his silver hair. His eyebrows furrow for a second before he relaxes again, deciding to lay both you and himself back down on the riverside grass. He pulls you in close, enough that your top half can now lay comfortably upon his muscular chest and shoulder. You snake an arm over his torso as your head rests nicely upon his strong shoulder blade, your faces so close. His gaze keeps to the clouds above as yours watches him search for an answer.

"I think I may need new clothes." He finally confesses after a short while, you lightly chuckle at his blunt realization.

"What? No. I love the smell of death on you. It's very sexy." You add, sarcasm clear in your voice as you subconsciously trace the scared flesh of his torso.

"Thanks." He mumbles as his free hand finds your arm that's currently draped over his stomach, he trails his fingers upon your skin before resting his hand on your forearm, "The next village over, I'm trading that troll's head for enough coin to get us close to Blaviken...then we'll see what monster there might bring us some better gold."

"I've never been, but I know of a wizard who lives there in some fancy tower all alone, don't know his name or anything. Who knows what kinda shit he gets up to these days, I can't imagine it's anything pleasant or humane." You mutter into the breeze, you'd made sure to keep your distance from any mages or wizards for as long as you could after something caused you to finally become fed up with them.

You don't adheredly have any standing beef with any of them in particular, in fact you had been very close with one, but that was such a long time ago. It almost feels like it could have been a past life. It's just you've lived long enough to know that people like such are usually superstitious bastards who'll believe any prophecy that destiny may conjure up for them.

They do as they please and their use of magic is not always used with good intentions. Although one may say due to your father being a sorcerer and all, would make you part mage, but on the contrary. As far as your abilities go in the tricky area of sorcery and it's mysterious being with how it can be inherited from parent to child. Your capabilities run a specific line of nothing but whatever part vampire runs through your veins. Nothing more, nothing less. Unlike with mages in their give and take, you can simply bend your lighting to your will whenever you call it into your vessel via the dark gift.

That being said, you've seen the atrocities that mages and wizards alike can commit when given the opportunity, so for that, you don't fuck around with them, nor use your deadly gift very often. Figuring you're already dangerous enough as it is, people never seeming to want to keep you around for too long. Perhaps that's why you and Geralt are perfect for each other, if the world won't have you, at least you have one another's company.

"I know of your dislikes for wizards, but we...well I, need new clothes. And there's surely some coin to be given in that place." Whispers Geralt as he holds you close, you let out an annoyed sigh, earning a small laugh from the man beneath you.

"Dammit you know I can't say no to another adventure, wizard or not, I wanna see what Blaviken has to offer us."

Tagged: @notahappytree @ashleyforeverareject @sokkasdarling @kmuir1(@auds24 sorry idk why ur name won’t work)

#the witcher x reader #the witcher x you #the witcher x y/n #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x you #the witcher #falcor the luck dragon stories #Of monsters and men fic

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borisbubbles · 3 years

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Character analysis: Vivienne de Fer (Dragon Age Inquisition)

So, if you’ve wondered where I popped off to the past two months or so, I’m going to give you an answer - I finally bought Dragon Age Inquisition (legit on my gaming wishlist since its 2014 release) and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since.

The main draw to this game however, isn’t so much the gameplay (if you want a game that feels similar but has better gameplay - Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is what you’d want instead), but the storytelling and particularly the character development are top notch. All nine companions are fascinating and fleshed out in such a realistic manner I’m still gasping in awe on my fifth playthrough. Thus, a post on it is in order. It’s a bit different from my usual content, but don’t let that discourage you - clearing my head from Dragon Age will allow me to let Eurovision back in and continue my unfinished 2020 ranking. In this post, I will be analyzing one of DAI’s most interesting characters - none other than Madame de Fer herself, Vivienne. Now, I’m under the impression that this is a rather unpopular opinion but I absolutely love Vivienne. And no, I won’t apologize for it. As a Templar-thumping elitist with a icy, sardonic demeanor the sheer ‘Idea Of A Vivienne’ is meant to make your head spin. Dragon Age has always been a franchise in which mages are a socially surpressed group and to be confronted with a socially confident enchantress who likes Templars and seemingly supports the social shunning out of her own ambition is the walking embodiment of flippancy.

and yet, I feel a lot of sympathy for Vivienne.

Yes, she’s a bitch. She knows she’s one and she’s a-ok with it. I won’t argue with that. Sadly, the “Vivienne is a bitch” rhetoric also drastically sells her short. Vivienne is highly complex and her real personality is as tragic as it is twisted.

Madame de Fer

So let’s start with what we are shown on the surface. Vivienne is a high-ranking courtier from an empire notable for its deadly, acid-laced political game. She seemingly joins the Inquisition for personal gain, to acrue reputation and power, and eventually be elected Divine (= female pope) at the end of the game. She presents herself as a despicable blend of Real Housewife, Disney Villain, and Tory Politician, all rolled into one ball of sickening, unctuous smarm. Worse, the Inquisitor has no way to rebuke Vivienne’s absurd policies and ideas. You can’t argue with her, convince her to listen to your differing viewpoints or even kick her out the Inquisition. She has a way with words where she can twist arguments around in such a fashion that she lands on top and makes the other person look like the irrational party.

“Thus speaks the Inquisitor who has made so many mature and level-headed choices so far. Such as releasion malcontents upon the population without safeguards to protect them should they turn into abominations. Very wise. I rearranged some furniture. Lives aren’t thrown into jeopardy by my actions. Perhaps a little perspective is needed.”

She’s Cersei Lannister on creatine, Dolores Umbridge on motherfucking roids. If you look at merely the surface, then yes, Vivienne looks like the worst person ever created. I love a good anti-villainess however, and she’s definitely one.

Yet, she never actually does anything ‘evil’? Yes, she is ‘a tyrant’ as a Divine, but 1) the person saying this is Cassandra, whose dislike for mage freedom is only matched by her dislike of being sidelined 2) Divine Vivienne isn’t bad to mages either? (hold that thought, I’ll get to it). She never actually sabotages the Inquisition, no matter how low her approval with the Inquisitor gets. She never attempts to stop them, no matter how annoyed she is. She’s one of the most brutally honest companions in the cast, in fact. (It always surprises me people call her a ‘hypocrite’ - you keep using that word and it doesn’t mean what you think it means.) The ‘worst’ display of character is when she attempts to break up Sera and the Inquisitor and even then - are we going to pretend Sera isn’t a toxic, controlling girlfriend with a huge chip on her shoulder? I love Sera, but come on.

Vivienne is a character where the storytelling rule of Show, Don’t Tell is of vital importance. The Orlesian empire is an empire built around posturing and reputation. Nobody really shows their true motivations or character, and instead builds a public façade. It’s like how the Hanar (the Jellyfish people) in Mass Effect have a Public name they use in day-to-day life, and a Personal Name for their loved-ones and inner circle. Vivienne’s ‘Public Visage’ is that of Madame de Fer - this is the Vivienne who openly relishes in power, publicly humiliates grasping anklebiters with passive-aggressive retorts, the woman who is feared and loathed by all of Orlais, and this is the Face you see for most of the game.

The real beauty of Vivienne’s character and the reason why I love her as much as I do (which is to say - a LOT) are the few moments when - what’s the phrase DigitalSpy love so much - Her Mask Slips, and you get a glimpse of the real woman underneath the hennin.

This is the Vivienne who stands by you during the Siege of Haven and approves of you when you save the villagers from Corypheus’s horde.

This is the Vivienne who comforts you when you lament the losses you suffered.

This is the Vivienne who admires you for setting an example as a mage for the rest of Thedas.

This is the Vivienne who worries about Cole’s well-being during his personal quest, momentarily forgetting who or what he is.

This is the Vivienne who, when her approval for the Inquisitor reaches rock bottom, desperately reminds him of the suffering mages go through on a day-to-day basis because of the fear and hatred non-mages are bred to feel towards them and how this can spiral into more bloodshed without safeguards.

This is the Vivienne who shows how deep her affection for Bastien de Ghislain truly is, by bringing you along during his dying moments. I love this scene btw. This is the only moment in the entire game where Vivienne is actually herself in the presence of the Inquisitor - needless to say, I consider anyone who deliberately spikes her potion a motherfucking psychopath ^_^)

“There is nothing here now” fuck I *almost* cried at Vivienne, get out of my head BioWare, this is WRONG -- people who delude themselves this is an irredeemable character.

So, who is Vivienne really?

Understanding Vivienne requires recognizing that the mask and the real woman aren’t the same person. I think her relationship with Dorian is the prime example of this. I love the Vivienne/Dorian banter train, obviously - an unstoppable force of sass colliding with an unmovable wall of smarm is nothing short of a spectacle. However, there’s more to it than their highly entertaining snipes. As the incredibly gifted son of a magister, Dorian represents everything Vivienne should despise, and should be a natural enemy to her. And yet, she doesn’t and he isn’t.. Their gilded japes at each other are nothing more than verbal sparring, not dissimilar to how Krem and Iron Bull call each other names when they beat each other with sticks. In what I think is one of the most brilliantly written interactions between characters in DAI, I present Vivienne’s reaction when the Inquisitor enters a romance with Dorian:

Vivienne: I received a letter the other day, Dorian. Dorian: Truly? It's nice to know you have friends. 🙄 Vivienne: It was from an acquaintance in Tevinter expressing his shock at the disturbing rumors about your... relationship with the Inquisitor. Dorian: Rumors you were only too happy to verify, I assume. 🙃 Vivienne: I informed him the only disturbing thing in evidence was his penmanship. 🙂 Dorian: ...Oh. Thank you. 😳 Vivienne: I am not so quick to judge, darling. See that you give me no reason to feel otherwise.

Madame de Fer can never be seen directly expressing approval to a relationship between the Herald of Andraste and an ‘Evil’ Tevinter ’Magister’. By this subtle, subtle conversation, Vivienne indirectly tells Dorian that she considers him a good match for the Inquisitor and approves of the romance. It’s one of those reasons why I could never truly dislike Vivienne - between the layers of elegant poison lies a somewhat decent woman who never loses sight of the bigger picture. Not a good person maybe, but not one without some redeeming qualities.

The crux of Vivienne’s personality is that she, like all DAI companions, is a social outcast. She’s a mage in a fantasy setting where mages are psionically linked to demons, and grew up in a country where the majority religion has openly advocated the shunning and leashing of mages (’Magic exists to serve man’ - the Chantry is so, so vile in this game.). Vivienne’s “gift” was discovered so early in her life that she can barely remember her parents. Vivienne grew up in a squalid boarding school, learning from a young age that she’s dangerous and her talents need to be tamed and curbed. She is also terrified of demons, as her banters with Cole point out:

Cole: You're afraid. You don't have to be. Vivienne: My dear Inquisitor, please restrain your pet demon. I do not want it addressing me. Inquisitor: He's not doing any harm, Vivienne. Vivienne: It's a demon, darling. All it can do is harm. Cole: Everything bright, roar of anger as the demon rears. No, I will not fall. No one will control me ever again. Cole: Flash of white as the world comes back. Shaking, hollow, Harrowed, but smiling at templars to show them I'm me. Cole: I am not like that. I can protect you. If Templars come for you, I will kill them. Vivienne: Delightful. 😑

Vivienne’s Harrowing is implied to have been such a traumatizing event to her that she’s developed a pavlovian fear of demons ever since. (Hence her hostility towards Cole.). Vivienne is fully aware of the inherent dangers of magic, and projects this onto all other mages.

Besides, given how Dragon Age has a history with mages doing all sorts of fucked up shit, ranging from blood magic, murder, demonic possession and actual terrorism (yes, *ElthinaBITCH* had it coming, but let’s not pretend like Anders/Justice was anything other than a terrorist), Vivienne’s policies of controlled monitoring and vigilance are actually significantly more sensible than the options of ‘unconditionally freeing every mage all over Thedas’ and ‘reverting back to the status quo before the rebellion’. They’re flawed policies, obviously. When Vivienne says “mages” she pictures faceless silhouettes foremost and not herself. Regardless, unlike Cassandra and Leliana, Vivienne is aware of the fear others harbour for her kind, and how hard it is to overcome such perceptions.

Additionally, Vivienne’s a foreigner. She is an ethnic Rivaini, a culture associated with smugglers and pirates (Isabela from DAO and DA2 is half-Rivaini). This adds an additional social stigma, again pointed out by Cole:

Cole: Stepping into the parlor, hem of my gown snagged, no, adjust before I go in, must look perfect. Vivienne: My dear, your pet is speaking again. Do silence it. Cole: Voices inside. Marquis Alphonse. Cole: "I do hope Duke Bastien puts out the lights before he touches her. But then, she must disappear in the dark." Cole: Gown tight between my fingers, cold all over. Unacceptable. Wheels turn, strings pull. Cole: He hurt you. You left a letter, let out a lie so he would do something foolish against the Inquisition. A trap. Vivienne: Inquisitor, as your demon lacks manners, perhaps you could get Solas to train it.

This is the only palpable example of the casual racism Vivienne has to endure on a daily basis - Marquis Alphonse is a stupid, bigoted pillowhead who sucks at The Game, but remember - Vivienne only kills him if the Inquisitor decides to be a butthurt thug. She is aware that for every Alphonse, there are dozens of greasy sycophants who think exactly like he does, and will keep it under wraps just to remain in her good graces.

Finally, there’s the social position Vivienne manufactured for herself, which is the weak point towards her character imo. Remember, this woman is a commoner by birth. She doesn’t even have a surname. Through apparently sheer dumb luck (or satanic intervention) she basically fell into the position of Personal Mage to the Duke of Ghislain. Regardless, ‘Personal mages’ were the rage in Orlesian nobility, and the prestigious families owned by them like one may own a pet or personal property. By somehow becoming Bastien de Ghislain’s mistress and using his influence, "Madame de Fer” liberated herself from all the social stigmata which should have pinned her down into a lowly courtier rank and turned the largely ceremonial office of “Court Enchanter” into a position of respect and power. This is huge move towards mage emancipation by the way, in a society where, again, Mages are feared and shunned and are constantly bullied, emasculated and taught to hate their talents. Vivienne is a shining example of what mages can become at the height of their power. Power she has, mind you, never actually abused before her Divine election. Vivienne’s actions will forever be under scrutiny not because of who she is, but because of what she is. The Grand Game can spit her out at any moment, which will likely result in her death.

Inquisitor: “You seem to be enjoying yourself, Vivienne?” Vivienne: “It’s The Game, darling. If I didn’t enjoy it, I’d be dead by now.”

Whether Vivienne was using Bastien for her own gain or whether she truly loved him isn’t a case of or/or. It’s a case of and/and. The perception that she was using Bastien makes Vivienne more fearsome and improves her position in the Grand Game, but deep down, I have no doubts truly loved him. Remember, Vivienne’s position at the Orlesian court was secure. She had nothing to gain by saving Bastien’s life, but she attempted to anyway. That Bastien’s sister is a High Cleric doesn’t matter - Vivienne can be elected Divine regardless of her personal quest’s resolution. She loved him, period.

No, I don’t think Vivienne is a good person. She treats those she deems beneath her poorly, like Sera, Solas, Cole and Blackwall (characters I like less than Vivienne), which I think is the #1 indicator for a Bad Personality. But I don’t think she qualifies as ‘Evil’ either and I refuse to dismiss the beautiful layering of her character. I genuinely believe Vivienne joined the Inquisition not just for her personal gain, but also out of idealism, similar to Dorian (again, Cole is 100% correct in pointing out the similarities between Dorian’s and Vivienne’s motivations for joining, as discomforting it is to her).

In her mind, Vivienne sees herself as the only person who can emancipate the mages without bloodshed - her personal accomplishments at the Orlesian court speak for themselves. Vivienne isn’t opposed to mage freedom - she worries for the consequences of radical change, as she believes Orlesian society unprepared for the consequences. Hence why she’s perfectly fine with a Divine Cassandra. Hence why her fellow mages immediately elect her Grand Enchanter of the new Circle.

Hence why Vivienne is so terrified by the Inquisitor’s actions if her disapproval gets too low. The Inquisitor has the power to completely destroy everything she has built and fought for during her lifetime. Remember: Vivienne’s biggest fear is irrelevance - there’s no greater irrelevance than having your life achievements reverse-engineered by the accidental stumbling of some upstart nobody. This is the real reason why she joins, risks her life and gets her hands dirty - the only person whose competence Vivienne trusts, is Vivienne’s own.

Even as Divine Victoria, I’d say she’s not bad, at all actually. Vivienne has the trappings of an an Enlightened Despot, maintaining full control, while simultaneously granting mages more responsibility and freedom, slowly laying the foundations to make mages more accepted and less persecuted in southern Thedas. Given that Ferelden is a feudal fiefdom and Orlais is an absolute monarchy, this is a fucking improvement are you kidding me. (Wait did he just imply Vivienne is secretly the best Divine - hmm, probably not because Cass/Leliana have better epilogues - but realistically speaking, yes, Viv should be the best Divine and it’s bullshit that the story disagrees.)

Underneath the countless layers of smarm, frost and seeming callousness, lies a fiercely intelligent and brave woman, whose ideals have been twisted into perversion by the cruel, ungrateful world around her. Envy her for her ability to control her destiny, but know that envy is what it is.

The flaw in Vivienne’s character isn’t so much the ‘tyranny’ or the ‘bitchiness’ or the 'smarm’. Her flaw is her false belief that she is what the mages need the most. Her belief that her competence gives her the prerogative to serve the unwashed mage masses... by ruling over them. For all intents and purposes, Vivienne is an Orlesian Magister and this will forever be the brilliant tragedy of her character. She was created by a corrupt institution that should, by all accounts fear and loathe her but instead embraced her. It’s that delirious irony that makes Vivienne de Fer one of the best fictional characters in RPG history. the next post will be Eurovision-related. :-)

#RPG #Dragon Age #Dragon Age Inquisition #Vivienne #Vivienne de Fer #Madame de Fer #DAI #Dragon Age 3 #BioWare

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep1

I’m here! The final season continues from where se02 oddly left, right in the middle of a conversation! XD.

-Tohru’s crushed heart (scarf): Excellent symbolism!

Tohru, burdened with trying to lift the curse of teen & adult sohmas, is now also troubled by trying to help Arisa’s romantic life is sad for akito! Too much for compassionate selfless tohru. Unable to help, protect & erase the pain, tohru crumbles. Freezes. Her white scarf (heart) flies away, gets crushed by cars & becomes dirty. But here comes a boy ( who thinks himself a monster) picks it up, cleans & returns it back. He thinks nothing of his deed. nothing heroic abt saving a scarf, really. But do we need to be heroes to save others? kyo saves tohru by being kyo. Not the zodiac cat & not the menacing monster. Her heart is saved by him, shown much care & returned back. Mind you, the heart (scarf) is not brand new after the delima. It’s not very clean after being crushed, some marks remain, but these are marks of growth!!! you walk away after hardships carrying minor scars of victory. This scene solidify kyo’s role in tohru’s life as an equal companion. Not a heroic prince charming. It is the little things he does that shows who he is. kyo isn’t abt big soft words, he doesn't say the best things. he is a man of action. His care, love & compassion comes so very easily & naturally to him thro actions. This is what yuki meant by saying he’s jealous of kyo. Yuki over thinks his steps & doubt everything before he acts. Kyo acts spontaneously then doubts himself later. He saves the scarf (heart) then tells her directly to buy another one if she feels it’s not clean. He failed to see how this trivial action meant the world to tohru. Tohru smiles lively cuz her heart is back to her.

Why is the scarf scene so important? (aka furuba’s best usage of symbolism yet!)

It symbolizes tohru’s toxic flaw that she must overcome! It represents tohru’s tormented heart over other ppl’s pain with severe neglect to her own problems & issues. Arisa’s love life shouldn’t be tohru’s delima, nor Akito’s complex or Kureno’s or the damned curse. Tohru toxically chooses to bear other burdens’ until they crush her.

Hana can’t come to save tohru from pain each time tohru indulges in it. Tohru must realize her own flaw & grow up beyond this toxic type of kindness. Feel & help others, but don’t use them to escape your pain & don’t indulge in their own struggles & neglect yourself. There is a reason hana’s knowing of tohru’s pain is thro “magical” waves, to symbolize that this can’t become a norm, not real. You can’t depend on magic to grow. I love that!

The white scarf bearing smudges of the tires even after kyo washed it shows that kyo’s love & care can’t magically heal all tohru’s pain. It parallels kyo’s words from se01, ep,24 when he said tohru didn’t heal all his pain, but he feels better simply cuz she stayed by his side. Tohru now is feeling better cuz kyo chose was there for her. Love doesn’t magically heal you, kids! But it sure puts you on the path! Also, this once again adds more depth to the (tohru/kyo) equal give & take dynamics.

This scene deconstruct the image of Tohru represented as an angelic mother throughout 2 seasons. Instead, It paints her as a real flawed girl with much need for growth. Exactly, like how we have learned by now that kyo isn’t a horrible monster nor a prince charming saving the day, but a flawed boy with much need for growth. However, these two push each other forward in a subtle way through daily situations! Excellent writing!!

-Kureno. (aka. who tohru should never become):

The harmful kindness: Kureno is someone who hurts himself & hurt many others (akito, arisa, shigure, & consequently the rest of the zodiacs) by giving the harmful types of kindness to akito, by completely erasing his own needs, desires & living for the sake of someone who would be far better without him. Kureno is who tohru might have become if she selflessly continues fighting solely for the sohma’s sake & trying to break the curse while ignoring her own life. She’ll become as miserable as kureno & the zodiacs will become dependable on her.

The destructive pity: Kureno pities this tormented child (akito) & chooses to stay with her until her tears dry. This pity is destructive cuz it is done while he wishes to be miles away with Arisa & it encourages akito to stay as she is. Look, a child whose mom hates her deserves pity. But an adult woman needs to learn to build relationships based on mutual affection & respect. This talk of pity reminds me of kyo & kagura. Kagura pitied the cat zodiac. The relationship was doomed cuz kyo refuses pity. It doesn’t matter if her pity turned into love later. Kyo doesn’t want that from her or anyone. There is NO equality there. We know tohru came to love kyo for all the times he was there for her & all the times he pushed her to improve, to complain, to want things! she said so in se01, ep, 24. But we also know that young baby tohru pitied the cat when her mom told her the zodiacs story. what if kyo thinks tohru’s affection is pity???? that’s a big NO for him & for every person. I really want tohru to be as far from any kurno’s traits as possible!!!

-Akito, the pitiful woman:

Akito was born a girl, forced to be raised as a boy by her mother’s demands? where is the father?? she was hated by her mother. why? she also hates her mom. (hate your child & they’ll hated you). So, akito is doomed by her mom. Akito tries to prove that she’s loved by the zodiac “she specified the male zodiacs” interesting! we saw how she hates both Isuzu & kisa & doesn’t give a damn abt kagura. This woman, forced to pose as a man, actually desires to be treated as a woman. As for the other zodiacs:

No worries abt hatori leaving cuz he’s 24/7 attending to her health.

Ayame makes tea exclusively for her & hatori.

she thinks Ritsu is too timid to attempt leaving.

Hiro’s a baby, momiji is hated cuz she can’t break him.

Kyo is destined to be locked. but Why she cares abt the cat anyway?? She publicly hates him & feels disgusted by him.

She used to control yuki but can’t anymore.

she uses intimacy to bound those who “can” leave her the most: kurno! & shigure? she sleeps next to shigure in the valentine ep. hatori remarked: don’t let akito catch cold. We saw the sexually charged rage in se02, ep10. So, she isn’t faithful to kureno. They don’t have a relationship. She doesn’t even have a relationship with shigure, either. to her, sex is a tool to tie them both to her?

It is ironic that the person who said she despises woman & accuses Isuzu of seducing hatori is herself seducing others. Except, tragically, kureno isn’t with her for herself, but cuz he pities her. We saw her slapping & embracing him. Next scene; her bare shoulders & his unbuttoned shirt clearly implies they got intimate which is what akito does to feel secure in kureno not leaving her. Kureno is not even interested in her despite submitting to her advances, needs & orders. He does it out of pity. Truly the most tragic form of physical affection: sex for pity. wow... how tragically pitiful is the abusive ruler of the zodiacs who looms over them & demands respect & eternal bonds. How can she find someone who’ll love her for herself, if she doesn’t learn to show good sides of her? Yuki wasn’t loved for who he is in school, but for being the “prince”, he showed his real character & got himself true friends & soon a lover!!! Kyo, was feared & pitied for turning into a “monster”, but once he showed his kind & harmless self, he got himself true friends & a girl who loves him for his actual personality! Who will love akito for who she is if she only shows a spoiled child, horrible family head or a pitiful woman? What does shigure love in her? he doesn’t seem to pity her nor pamper her much, does he? perhaps we’ll know more abt the real akito later.

Side notes:

Akito’s mom reminded me of kyo’s dad. Abused children, who are hated by their parents, don’t let go of the hurt easily. they’ll always try to either get their approval, show them they were worthy of their love, or they’re NOTHING like their parents think they are. eg: Kyo’s biological father’s hate has destroyed kyo. Kyo have kazuma & tohru & he still wonder why they love him. It took kyo 17 years to actually promise to call kazuma "dad” one day in se01 finale. You need time to heal the wounds inflected by the ones who should love you the most. Being loved by others doesn’t magically heal you! You need to take few steps forward.

Isuzu is Ren’s clone! finally understanding why the severe hate from akito towards Isuzu. I’ll wait for more Ren/Akito content before analyzing their relationship.

Ren is so sexy. ngl, the scene of the zodiacs touching her belly after she just *conceived* akito is so creepy~ ew!

Hana picked up tohru first before kyo, cuz this show isn’t exclusive for romantic love as much as it isn’t exclusive for friendship. There is balance.

Tohru needs her own future, so does Arisa & hana! Learn to accept the limit of what you can do as a friend, tohru.. forever loving furuba for steering away from “friends stay together forever~yay” anime trope! Furuba is abt independent & individual adult life! building your own future! Epic writing!

Forever fascinated by how much the little small ordinary daily life things has really built kyo-tohru love! It feels so real & very uniquely built! Excellent writing!

Arisa is stuck with an adult man trapping himself in the most unnecessary love triangle. Kureno’s cage is self made, no curse. A very sheltered boy/man not living in the real world. Only two options for kureno if he continues this path: he’ll hurt akito, or akito will hurt him. We know the answer from the trailer, don’t we?

Arisa letting go of kuron is growth! Let go & live, girl!

There is a subtle theme of learning to let go in furuba~

Yuki is the biggest kyoru shipper!

Tohru intentionally hitting kyo with scarf’s pon-pon is my fave side of her! intentional flirting shows change from her little girl’s good girl attitude to her own type of a feisty woman! after all, she’s nearly 18!

The way the camera moved when kyo spotted the scarf was so good!

The director is obsessed with flying!! did he work on attack on titans? cuz the Ren-akito flying fight reminded me of Titan Eren strangling Titan Annie in AOT se01 finale! but chibi version! XD. I’m sorry for akito’s pain, but I was distracted by laughing! XD

look, if you plan to dramatize a situation, know your budget & your skills. Obviously, the director knew the scene is badly done, hence, the wide far away, dim lit shot to hide as much as it can. Couldn’t he do without it? let akito strangle her to the ground without flying!

oh well~these over-the-top shots are now a furuba trade mark~ just praying they stick with one weird shot per season.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Tohru Honda #Akito Sohma #se03 #final season #kureno sohma #shigure sohma #kyo sohma

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Note

still same anon. this was another one of my asks from months ago. basically it was a comment I made about jikook's intimacy. it was from this interview: https://youtu.be/T--BOS8oTec the moment I'm talking about happens from 3:00 minute timestamp onwards. i was saying how despite this moment being "skinship" or whatever, it kinda hit different? there's also intimacy there. bc you see how jimin doesn't have to say anything and jungkook immediately understands what to do and starts massaging his neck. jimin literally threw a glance at him, tilted his neck a lil and jungkook didn't need a second more to know what to do. I wanted to talk to you about it since I know that you're not big on skinship defining jikook's relationship, but I think there ARE jikook skinship moments worth noting and this is one of them imo.

Oh ok. Thanks.

SKINSHIP IN CONTEXT

I think skinship by it's very definition is an intimate act depending on the level of familiarity between the parties involved in the act.

From my understanding of skinship, it's basically interactions that would otherwise be viewed as sexual outside of their culture but viewed as acceptable platonic behavior between the same sex or even the opposite sex.

The objective of skinship is to be intimate with another person on a level that's only next to romance.

I remember my sister telling me how shook she was when she found out for the first time, around 2011 when she first moved to Seoul, how she couldn't even keep her pants on at a 'Jimjirban' because all the gals in there were expected to walk around butt naked in the spa. No towels, no pants, no robes butt nakedttt.

'Mehn, this doesn't happen where I'm coming from' she said to her companion.

A. I'm black.

B. I'm not flat.

C. I'm wearing my pants.

Her very naked friend, a native SK, whom she says she'd only met for like a week, then grabbed her underwear and pulled it down her thighs exposing her deforested vagina to the winds and a dozen other curious gazes. All females.

'For a second, I thought I had been tricked into an orgy of a sort. I was very naked without my consent. Wind whistling through my shy butt cracks. Watching very naked females of varying ages stare on with pride and smiles on their faces as if I had just saved a village or something and when I jiggled when I walked I could hear them gasp, amazed- Goldy, how is this not gay?'

'You think skinship between their men is weird, wait till you see their women. Wait till a very attractive Korean girl is breathing down your neck and caressing your nape and complementing your skin while showing you pictures of her boyfriend on her phone.'

She says it took her a while to get used to the skinship between women in SK and seeing the men interact in a certain way messed with her brains for a while. She said she felt her intelligence was being played with most of the time.

I guess if you want to look at Jikook's skinship as intimate then there's nothing wrong it.

Skinship is intimate at the very least.

But skinship, for all intent and purposes, is platonic and nonsexual in nature. And maybe this is a fatal flaw on my part. Or maybe thanks to my sister, I'm desensitized to this form of interaction but I have a hard time seeing Jikook's intimacy as platonic or even seeing most of their skinship as romantic- in anyway. It will make sense in a bit, hold on.

I have a hard time equating skinship with romantic intimacy. But that's just me.

I wasn't able to click on the link you sent but I'm guessing this is the moment you are talking about?

I wouldn't call this skinship. I mean it is but I wouldn't call it that. Skinship is meant to show how close two people are. How familiar they are with eachother.

This doesn't show how close Jikook are. But It shows how caring and affectionate JK is as human being, as a dongsaeng, and as a boyfriend.

I'd rather we celebrate that. JK doesn't get highlighted enough. He caters to the people he cares about. He is an attentive person.

Hate to be a grinch but I can pull up a couple of times JK has done that very gesture with Jin or Tae or Hobi. Remember Soop? Remember when Jin complained of feeling cold and JK went up to him immediately and 'warmed' him up?

Of course, Jimin kept stealing glances at him like he could throw a shoe at the back of his head if he could but that's beside the point.

The man is an empath. He's said several times he feels a lot of pain watching his hyungs go through it. Fact is, Jk cares about people. He's kind, loving and he shows this aspect of him through gestures like these.

He does it for Jimin. He does it for all the members because as he's said, they are all a family.

It's stressful hearing people claim he doesn't give a fuck about Jimin, that he doesn't care about JM because he shows affections for others besides JM.

At some point we would have to make a distinction between what acts flows from their unique personalities because of who they are at their core and what act flows from them being a couple.

Most people who see Jimin as a natural nurturer and what not are able to separate this identity from his ship moments but JK isn't accorded the same privilege. It is why most people are quick to lash out at him when he interacts with others in the same way he interacts with Jimin.

When JM acts nurturing towards V or RM or Suga he is seen a good, kind person.

When JK does something affectionate it's seen as a beautiful Jikook moment or Taekook moment or Jinkook moment and is soon swept under the carpet, soon forgotten and never tied to the personality of JK- perhaps because most of these shippers don't care to know who JK is as a person and as a human.

When Jimin does something affectionate its 'awww Jimin is such an amazing person' even if that act is merely performative sometimes.

I try not to engage in conversations that perpetuate this horrifying discrimination against either of Jikook. They are both individuals.

There are a lot of Asks sitting in my box highlighting the various ways JM is awesome and kind and amazing as s boyfriend to JK and not a single out of 500 plus posts talking about how empathetic JK really is. How thoughtful he is to even pack motion sickness drugs to go on trips even though he doesn't get motion illness and JM is the one that often complains about motion sickness on trips.

The heteronormative lens, on opposite ends of the spectrum in the shipping community, which dictates we perceive on Jikook as either feminine or masculine is a telltale sign of the misogyny and misandry prevalent within this fandom.

The fandom's heteronormative lens filters Jimin as the wildly feminine archetype, wildly fragile, sexy and womanly right down to the way we praise him as the 'good woman' in his relationship with JK- loyal, faithful, nurturing, kind, silent in that he continues to perform Jikook even when Jikook are not in a great place. etc.

Yet because he is seen as womanly or feminine, the part of the fandom that hates women hate Jimin. That's where all the slut shaming, bullying and harassment stems from- misogyny.

Jk is viewed as the opposite of that. By most, he is very masculine man and as such harbors all the traits of masculinity the modern woman detests- toxic masculinity, cheating, disloyal, fuckboy who treats women like shit. All forms of hatred and intolerance towards men is projected on to him especially by male intolerant people or dare I say feminist women within the fandom.

And you see them in the way they are always fighting for Jimin against JK as if Jimin were a fragile faithful woman whose man don't treat him right thus further perpetuating the heteronormative stereotypes of Jimin.

What's disconcerting is Jikook are both men and yet depending on how their masculinity or femininity is perceived, they are both treated very differently.

You hear Tuktukkers talk about how Jikook is as a result of heteronormativity and thus prescribe Taekook as the ideal homonormative ship- because to them, Tae and JK are both seen as two whole men.

To them Jimin is just not man enough to even be gay- isn't that the foundation of homophobia?

Gay men not seen as men at all?

Whereas amongst Jokers, Jimin's manliness is often forgiven and JK's is abhorred. Jk is too much of a man and men just ain't shit.

This may sound like an over simplification but Tuktukkers hate women, Jokers hate men and either side suck. In my opinion.

Jimin is a nurturer he cares about people including his boyfriend. JK is an empath he feels the pain of those close to him including his boyfriend and is often moved to ease or take away some of that pain.

It's thus annoying to hear people out here yell and complain on every turn each time JK interacts with the others how JK 'doesn't act exclusive' with Jimin or how he doesn't care about Jimin.

Should he not care about anyone besides Jimin just because he is dating Jimin?

It's annoying when they say the same about Jimin. Jimin nurtures everyone ergo there's nothing special or exclusive about the way he nurtures JK.

Nonsense such as these are spewed without taking into account that those acts in themselves speak directly to who these people are as human beings first and foremost; secondly, to how they feel about the person at the recieving end of their affections.

If they are treating everyone the same it's probably because they love everyone too- in a non romantic way of course. It's their love language. They love others with the same heart they love eachother with.

It doesn't take away from how they feel about eachother. JK admiring another member does not mean when he admires Jimin it's nothing. It just mean he admires Jimin too.

Not everything has to be romanticized or given a romantic context. They are each expressing themselves and their feelings for their bandmates. It's about them not their bandmates or their relationship with said bandmates.

Certain moments are just attestation to their love language be it platonic or romantic and it says more about who they are as people than what their relationship with the other person is. It's not all about their relationship.

People need to start treating Jikook as individuals. They are humans first before a ship. Shipping them shouldn't take away from their authentic expressions of self.

That's how they each end up getting cussed out in these streets left and right.

It's ridiculous.

This is JK being JK. Imma leave it at that.

This is from the same interview where Tae was talking about how they love showcasing their bond.

It's ok to celebrate it. Just see it for what it is- as flowing from JK's kind self. This is not Jikook. This is JK. Jeon Jungkook.

Don't fume or act disappointed when you see him do the same kind gesture for another member just because of the meaning you are imposing on this moment. Know what I mean?

That being said, there are certain Jikook 'skinship' moments that crosses the line of skinship right into sexual foreplay.

If 'skinship' leaves you 'sexually excited' it's not skinship. Nobody can tell me nothing.

Make of this moment what you will. Just be responsible with it. I think. But don't mind me. I'm grumpy.

Signed,

GOLDY

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commonwealthoccurences · 3 years

Text

HCs: How The Companions Confess/Date A Tsundere Sole

Note: Did my best to capture the tsundere personality! Please let me know if this is totally off base and thank you again for the request.

CW: The mildest of suggestive warnings

The Set Up:

Sole wasn’t the easiest to befriend. Sure, they had their personable side where they could calm any settler, convince any negotiator, haggle at every vendor, etc. Once things got past that, got personal, though? It seemed they shut down. They brushed off affection, went silent at compliments and reassurances, and struggled to be open with their emotions. There was no question it wasn’t a lack of affection, but a lack of expression. They defended their friends fiercely.

Once the companions began thinking of Sole as more than a friend and started looking more closely at their behavior, though, they saw how flustered they became when shown affection. It wasn’t simply a dismissive personality; they felt something and immediately short circuited. Maybe it was a reluctance to show a sign of weakness, who knows? Regardless, the companions had their work cut out for them when it came to confessing and developing a relationship.

Cait:

The Confession:

The tsundere meets the next most emotionally blocked person of the Commonwealth

Cait didn’t have her own feelings under control, that’s for sure

She cursed loudly when she realized how she felt and how that would affect things

The worst part is, Sole was the only person who struggled with things like that more than she did

The urge to scream nearly overcame her self restraint

However, she steeled herself, and began dropping hints

She watched as Sole’s cheeks lit up red whenever she threw her arm around them playfully before they shrugged the weight off and moved away

The hardest part was reminding herself that she was right; they felt the same way about her

They hesitated to sit down when she announced she needed to talk to them

Never making eye contact, they listened to her as she stumbled through her feelings, searching blindly in the dark for the confidence she once had. The confidence before she was willing to let them break her heart

The first time they spoke, it was barely a mumble, and she leaned forward to hear better

They repeated themself, hardly any louder with a “Feel the same way.” before they abruptly stood up and walked towards the window, looking out as they chewed on their nails

Cait had to laugh to herself; they may be an emotionally constipated mess, but now they were her emotionally constipated mess

The Relationship:

The longer the relationship lasted, the more confident Cait became in seeking out affection even if they didn’t enthusiastically reciprocate every time

She would hug them from behind and they would bow their head, cheeks red for the nth time, and simply continue what they were doing before

When they did reciprocate she made sure to give obvious cues that she was happy about it; she’d grin even wider, hug them tighter, and press a kiss to their cheek

Once they got truly comfortable in their relationship, Sole began seeking out affection themself

They were fond of quickly side hugging Cait and taking off immediately, but the first time they did, it made Cait’s day

The day they crawled into bed beside her and curled up into her side without hiding their face she knew they were making progress

Curie:

The Confession:

Curie isn’t sure what to do or think at first

From what she knows of human body language, ever cue they give should indicate they don’t care for her, but then when someone tries to insult or hurt her, they don’t hesitate to put themself in the line of fire

At first she takes studying their behavior as a chance to become more knowledgeable

Then, she begins to notice their smaller, less noticeable behaviors

They get flustered when she touches them, brush off her affection, but with red cheeks and shaking hands

That’s when she realizes there’s more to their habits than she’d realized at first, and comes to the conclusion that they’re simply overwhelmed when they’re faced with caring for someone

Somehow this makes her feel even more fond for them; she came to terms with her own feelings long ago

She’s learned to be quite responsible with her emotions and sits them down to talk almost right after she realizes they feel the same way

She doesn’t expect a grand response

When Sole fumbles their words, messing with their own hands as they stare into their lap, she’s patient

Eventually they get out that they feel the same and she relaxes into her seat with a sweet smile

The Relationship:

Curie’s extremely open about affection, so she and Sole are polar opposites

She presses kisses to their cheeks whenever she passes them, pulls them in for tight hugs every time they return from a job, etc

They greet her with the same embarrassed, red face and mild response

They’re not big on PTA and by not big I mean they get completely flustered and struggle to respond in any way

However, they give her shy hugs and quick kisses when they’re alone, disappearing as fast as they appeared afterwards

She’s secure enough she doesn’t question whether or not they care, she just knows they have a different way of showing it

Danse:

The Confession:

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object

The world will stop spinning before something goes on between these two

All jokes aside, Sole will actually have to say something first

The two struggle to even look at each other; at one point Haylen threw her hands up and said “Jesus Christ, I think the only people here who don’t know you guys are into each other are you two”

Safe to say there was no longer anyone on the Prydwen who didn’t know about their feelings

After that it was a miracle if the two were within the same room

Maxson had had enough of the two best soldiers dancing around each other and sent them on a mission together. Only them.

They moved in complete silence almost the entire time- they knew each other well enough that they didn’t need to communicate verbally to have each others backs luckily- until a specific night

They were camped out, eating beans out of a can on the cold ground, and Sole suddenly said, “So.” looking extremely uncomfortable

Danse’s head shot up before he even knew it

They looked at each other for a moment before Danse nodded and just went “Yeah, I feel the same.” quietly

“Cool”

It felt more like a business transaction

The Relationship:

Afterwards, they returned to their normal short, business faces in the field

They were on the same page about physical affection and it took a long while before they were completely comfortable with showing affection

The upside to this arrangement was that they would often break into flustered, quiet laughter together whenever they were cuddling

It’s easy to be comfortable with your embarrassment and hesitancy when the other person’s just as embarrassed as you

Deacon:

The Confession:

Total opposite dynamic of Danse and Sole

Deacon loves teasing them, to the point where even Des had her head in her hands at some points

It’s a miracle Sole’s left standing after spending time with Deacon. He’s constantly flirting with them, teasingly leaning down to look them in the eye when they bow their head

When they have a stony expression in response to his affection, he just amps it up

Wants them flustered by the end of the of the interaction

Honestly, if they keep up their cold appearance, it makes them the perfect duo

Deacon loves messing with them and they never really break

He’s great at denying his own feelings; he convinces himself he only thinks he’s interested in them because he’s so in the habit of flirting with them

One day, Deacon’s been bugging them nonstop and they finally break, but not in a way that they show they’re flustered

Instead, they step into his personal space and kiss him to shut him up

(It works)

When they pull away their expression hasn’t changed even a little bit

They look him up and down for a moment and then turn and keep walking

That’s the first time they short circuit Deacon

The Relationship:

Not much changes between him messing with them and them being in a relationship

Sometimes Sole catches him off guard by getting brave all of a sudden but they always disappear right after

He’s often left calling after them, asking why they abandoned him so fast

It takes the rest of the Railroad months to realize anythings changed between the two

It’s when Sole has to leave for an extremely dangerous recon mission and they abruptly kiss Deacon so hard even he’s surprised that they realize they’re together

Gage:

The Confession:

Between Gage outright having aggressive undertones and Sole’s flat tones in response to everything Gage says, it’s hard for the raiders to believe they even get along

The pair know better though

They just struggle to make a move

Gage is terrified of letting someone in again, Sole doesn’t think they’re good enough, and together they make the world’s most anticlimactic mix

Gage has a little jealousy issue

When Mason makes some flirtatious comments, he gets angry

As soon as he and Sole get back to the Overboss quarters he faces them, “So are we coming to terms with this shit yet?”

“Excuse me?”

He moves slow enough that they can stop him, but grabs their face in his hands and kisses them

When they pull away they pause for a moment before replying, “Yeah. I can deal with that.”

They turn and return to business right away. “So what are we doing with the kiddie kingdom territory?”

They infuriate him in the best way possible

The Relationship:

Sole doesn’t particularly react to affection; they basically ignore it

Gage takes this as permission and often keeps an arm around their waist when they’re discussing something

Sometimes slaps their ass as he walks by just to get a reaction

They often turn and glare, or give him a flat expression

He knows they’ll tell him directly if he’s crossing a line, so he knows they don’t actually care

They show affection in the most nonchalant way

Often they’ll be talking about the plans for the raiders and just drop into his lap while talking to him, not reacting at all to their own movement

Hancock:

The Confession:

Quite similar to Deacon

Loves jokingly flirting with them but honestly can’t tell if they care for him in return or not

He comes to terms with his feelings quite easily; he knew there was something that was gonna draw them in about them when they walked through the gates to Goodneighbor and simply flicked their cigarette at Flynn’s threats, not changing their calm expression

They react to his flirtations the same way; they simply don’t

Eventually, he has to tell them; life’s short after all

When they listen to him, expressionless, but respond with a “Yeah, same.” he takes it as a win

The Relationship:

The only thing that changes is that Hancock knows they’re happy with the flirting he does with them

Their pushing him away eases and eventually they find themself relaxing into his embraces

They don’t particularly think about it. It just happened automatically over time

Still doesn’t approve of blatant PDA but they’re fine with him keeping a hand in their back pocket

MacCready:

The Confession:

Poor Mac

He has no idea what to think of the way they react to affection

On one hand they seem to hate it; on the other hand, they still stand closer to him than necessary and quirk their eyebrow, displeased, whenever someone hits on him

Eventually he realizes that’s just how they are, but it doesn’t particularly please him

He definitely wishes they had a better handle on their emotions

He’s one of the most notorious companions for getting flustered but Sole’s mannerisms get him so frustrated he ends up just blurting out how he feels, arms crossed, seeming annoyed

They nod. “Me too.”

The Relationship:

It sure as hell is a tricky relationship to navigate at first

Mac finds him frustrated a lot and eventually sits them down and has a serious discussion with them about expressing their emotions

They work on it after that to make things easier

It definitely helps

They still struggle when they’re around other people but they get a lot better about being more affectionate in private

Nick:

The Confession:

There’s… no confession moment

They kind of just ease into a relationship without discussion

They’re so casual about it and there’s so little discussion that they’re genuinely surprised when people as if they and Nick are together

Nick understood from the get go that they wouldn’t be obviously reciprocating his affection so when they didn’t react to them holding their waist, he didn’t think anything of it

Eventually this evolved and they were dating without realizing it

The Relationship:

At some point after everyone else in Diamond City starts asking questions, they do talk a little and decide, yeah, they’re in a relationship, just forgot to talk about it

Almost nothing changes when they do, though

Nick is in the habit of showing nonchalant affection without expecting anything back

When Sole does initiate it’s rare and quick, but he appreciates it all the same

They ease a little more into the affectionate side of things easily after they have the discussion about their relationship

Piper:

The Confession:

She gets flustered easily and Sole has a mask of stone when it comes to flirting

Overall, just a mess

She struggles to make a move on them and when she does they don’t even react which confuses her even more

She’s the type of person to try and hide her feelings and then it all comes rushing out one day, so that’s exactly what happens

“I have feelings for you, but I can’t even tell if you want to be friends still!”

“Oh. I have feelings for you too.”

Piper’s never wanted to fight someone and kiss someone so badly at the same time

The Relationship:

She definitely has a talk with them about expressing their emotions and not pushing her away

It can get upsetting to be brushed off when showing affection

Sole puts in effort and openly accepts affection in private, but struggles to initiate it for a while

Once they start initiating affection Piper relaxes and is much more reassured in the relationship

Preston:

The Confession:

Honestly doesn’t pick up any cues that they’re into him

He barely even thinks they’re friends a lot of times; sure, they defend him fiercely, but he assumes that’s just part of them defending the Minutemen/settlers in Sanctuary

They’re so straight faced all the time it’s difficult for him to believe there’s anything more than a work relationship to them

It’s when a settler comments that they’ve never seen Sole care for someone more than they do Preston that he starts questioning his previous views

Then he notices the little things they do to help him out; they pick up shifts as soon as he mentions there’s a watch slot that needs to be filled. They bring him coffee without a word when it’s freezing out. He wakes up and finds his gun cleaned and ammo restocked.

This is what gives him the confidence to come forward about his feelings

He gives a speech about how he hopes this doesn’t change how they work together and if it’s disrespectful to cross this line he apologizes

Sole just replies with a nod and says “Surprised it took you this long.”

The Relationship:

They remain completely professional in the field/in front of settlers

In fact, very few people suspect a thing

Preston gets a little confused by the lack of affection after their talk but he realizes he never should’ve expected things to 180

He simply adapts and starts showing affection the same way they do; he wants to make sure they know he cares for them by reciprocating in a way he knows they understand

So, considering he wakes up before them, he leaves hot coffee or tea by their bed every morning right before he leaves for patrol

When they get home from a tough run across the Commonwealth they wake up to the clothes they were wearing cleaned and folded on top of their dresser

Eventually they start showing traditional affection on their own

X6-88:

The Confession:

Obviously X6 is the king of a tsundere attitude, especially if he stays with the Institute

Affection??? Who’s that

They keep track of each other well and have each other’s backs and that’s how they show affection

There’s no super-forward gestures of affection

They both know about their feelings for each other; they have the same way of showing emotion, it’s hard not to know

If X6 stays with the Institute there isn’t a relationship; there’s certainly a lot of straight-faced pining, but no relationship

The Relationship:

If X6 eventually leaves, and so does Sole, then they slowly ease into a relationship after X6 gets settled in the Commonwealth

It’s a hesitant process, but happens nonetheless, and they also get more comfortable with showing each other affection (though only in private)

Overall way more understanding of Sole’s mannerisms than the rest of the companions

#fallout 4 #fo4 #companions react #headcanons #hcs #fluff #Cait #Curie #Paladin Danse #Deacon #Gage #Mayor Hancock #Nick Valentine #RJ MacCready #Piper #Preston Garvey #X6-88

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sativaasiren · 3 years

Text

Kid

Relationship: Hawks x Reader

Genre: one shot, hurt/angst

Summary: A companion piece to “Tolerate It” from an alternate point of view. Hawks keeps secrets and lies from Reader while she slowly unravels their relationship. Based on the song “Kid” by the Pretenders (slowed version)

Notes: I wanted to flesh out the scenario I set in Tolerate it with a different point of view. Fic is best enjoyed while listening to “Kid” by the Pretenders (slow live version)

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*Kid, What changed your mood? You got all sad. So I feel sad too*

Takami Keigo was many things, but being unobservant wasn’t one of them. He could pinpoint the exact moment he felt (Y/N) pulling away from him. It was about a year into their relationship, he had been gone on a scouting mission with a few other heroes and was gone for almost 3 weeks. The mission required him to maintain a cover in public spaces, blending into his surroundings.

Hawks looked down at his phone absentmindedly. He had told (Y/N) not to worry but she did anyway. She was always so apt to forge her own path and make her own choices regardless of what he suggested, he loved that about her but they had fought the morning he left.

She had asked him when she could expect him home and what he might want for dinner when he got back but he was up to his ears and snapped at her, the probing questions hitting his patience just right. “How should I know what I would want weeks from now? I’m busy”

Keigo looked up from the paperwork to see her pained expression, and he had to hide how it crushed him inside.

“I understand. I’ll give you some space. I love you, Keigo, please stay safe”

(Y/N) backed away from the kitchen table and headed towards the bedroom.

“Love you too, kid. I’ll see ya later”. He got half of the sentence out before he heard her gently close the door. Keigo had pretended their entire relationship to not be as sharp with his hearing as he was his eyesight. He wanted to protect her and make her feel safe to do things behind closed doors without him listening in.

But he heard everything. He could hear the choked sob that came from deep inside her chest once she felt she was tucked away safely in their room, away from prying minds. Keigo looked back down at the papers scattered around and shoved them off the table.

Hawks was mad at himself. He could feel himself hurting you but was not fully able to stop himself. He wanted to be your protector but it was easier to cut himself off from someone like her, who loved him. Keigo never felt deserving of your love and was quick to show you, prove he was right.

Shaking his head, he returned to the present moment. His phone had been silent since he left, the fight between them laying thick in the air. Keigo found solace being stuck on a mission in a bar right now, and while he was techinically off the clock, he could drown his sorrows as much as he desired. Keigo flagged down the bartender and ordered another glass of Jack, settling into his bar stool.

Hawks had since lost count of the drinks he had. Somewhere between 2 and not enough to get him cut off, but the room seemed hazy and the edges of his vision were softer.

A woman had sat down in the seat next to him and he was completely oblivious to her presence until she tapped on his shoulder. “You’re far too gorgeous to be drinking here alone but that doesn’t seem to have stopped you. Can I buy your next round?”

She was pulling on his jacket collar gently and staring up at him from under her lashes, eyes green and piercing.

Hawks wanted to grab her hand and move it off of him, put an end to her flirtation, but he wasn’t feeling strong enough to resist. He was still pissed at himself, and it had migrated to being pissed at (Y/N). Keigo looked down at his phone and internally announced “If she doesn’t text me in the next 10 minutes, she probably wants me gone anyway.”

Keigo looked back at the woman. “Yeah, another jack and coke. Thanks”

She beamed back at him, hoping that his acceptance of a drink was the next step in this seamless dance they were doing together. Her goal was to go home with the handsome stranger, and she was determined to get her way.

The bartender made Keigo’s order and swapped out his empty glass for the new one. Hawks took the drink and smirked at the lady. “Thank you for the drink...”

“Mami”

“Mami. Mami. Pretty name, I think it suits you” Hawks punctuated his comment with a long sip of his drink, enjoying the way it scorched his insides on the way down.

“Thank you....”

“Kosuke. Name’s Kosuke”

“What are your plans for tonight, Kosuke?” Mami leaned back towards him and resumed fiddling with his collar and fur around the jacket.

Keigo looked down at his cell one last time. Her 10 minutes was up, and he was decided.

“Whatever you want them to be, gorgeous” Keigo sealed his fate and (Y/N) an unknowing participant in his game, was too late to change his mind.

When Hawks finally returned home 4 days later, he had changed. He had begun to dread walking through the front door where (Y/N) was probably waiting, eager to greet him and shower him with affection. It would take more than a small spat for her to break her pattern of love.

His stomach knotted itself while he slowly turned the handle. How long could he keep it a secret?

(Y/N) was standing 3 feet from the door, holding her hands together to calm her nerves. She was always afraid he would come home too broken for time to mend.

Keigo slowly walked through the door and he wished he was anywhere other than home.

“Keigo! I’m glad you came home safely!” She outreached her hands in excitement, reaching for him to come close.

Hawks looked at her for only a moment, making a poor attempt at eye contact. Something was wrong, he may be tired when he came home but this was the first time he was despondent.

“Sorry Kid, it was a long mission and I’d like to get some sleep. We’ll talk later”. Keigo shuffled past (Y/N) with his head hung low, refusing to allow her a look at his face. He shut the bedroom door behind him and Y/N was still standing in place, arms outstretched, processing what had even happened.

*I think I know. Some things you never outgrow. You think it's wrong. I can tell you do.*

Hawks had been home for a few days and had been no more forthcoming than he was when he got home. (Y/N) waited for him to open up about his time away but it never came. She would return home from work to the same empty shell of her boyfriend.

(Y/N) would clean to calm her anxiety, it helped her process her feelings while keeping her focused on a mundane task. Keigo was in the shower and she toiled away on the dishes when a chime sounded from the kitchen. (Y/N) turned the water off and headed towards the sound, assuming it was her phone but she was wrong. On the screen, the notification read:

“1 NEW TEXT MESSAGE: FROM MAMI”

(Y/N) fought the urge to snoop through his phone, but she felt her stomach sink and knew there were very few explanations for why another girl would be texting Keigo. (Y/N) locked the phone to dim the screen and resumed the dishes, stuck on an internal panic that she couldn’t stop. Who was Mami?

Keigo returned to the living room in only a towel, choosing to not acknowledge (Y/N) and heading directly for his phone. (Y/N) was standing over the sink, gripping the basis and trying to steel herself for what she was about to do.

“Who’s Mami?”

Hawks froze in his tracks, staring through your back. What did she say? “There’s no way she figured me out in 4 days. Not possible” he mulled to himself.

After an extended pause used to prep his trail of lies, he started to answer “Mami was another person I worked with on my mission. She was the eyes on the inside. Nothing to worry about”

(Y/N) turned around to face him, eyes growing reflective and watery. She refused to cry to him, reveal her jealousy and her insecurity but it was impossible to hold back everything she was feeling at the same time, one emotion had to leak through the cracks in her wall.

“Is that all?”

*How can I explain. When you don't want me to.*

Keigo nodded slowly. “I love you Kid. You don’t need to worry about me. It’s only ever been you”

(Y/N) grimaced and turned back towards the sink, choosing to believe Keigo over risking losing the one she loved. She kept quiet, softly scrubbing the plates in front of her.

The guilt sank deeper into his bones. He was too far in now, he could never go back. Was this the right choice? He loved her but Hawks knew that what they had came with a fast expiration date, it didn’t matter what they did, it would end.

*Kid, My only kid. You look so small. You've gone so quiet.*

The days felt longer when they didn’t speak to fill the silence. (Y/N) only spoke a fraction of the time she used to. Mostly her repetitive questions about dinner, when he was leaving, would they spend time together before he left. It was what wasn’t being said that sat in the air. If neither of them touched the subject, they could pretend it didn’t exist and they would have to shatter the illusion they were intent on living.

*I know you know what I'm about. I won't deny it.*

Months went on following the new norm. Hawks went away for weeks at a time, distance himself while he was gone, and returned home drunk when he finally decided to go home. (Y/N) was just as doting and loving as she always had been, she refused to give into the dark cloud that hovered in her head. It took all of her inner strength to not ask him where he was and who with upon his arrival. Why ask him if he was going to lie anyway? What good would it do?

Keigo had been playing charades his entire life, this was no different, but (Y/N) could throw a curveball into his web and tear a hole in it with a single question. The more he lied, the more she pieced together why. Some nights, it was too hard to lie to her. To give her the comfort she was so craving. After about 4 drinks, his softness rotted away and all that remained was his sandpaper exterior.

Hawks had come home late one night, a bit weak on his feet but still mobile. He was drunk, and only the door frame was holding him upright.

He stumbled his way to the kitchen table and dropped into the chair, groaning and nursing a headache.

(Y/N) stood in the hallway, watching him from afar. He caused quite a ruckus trying to come inside and it had interrupted her reading. She was worried, and she wanted to bring him a glass of water and some medicine. (Y/N) didn’t hesitate this time, she loved taking care of him, and it would take a lot more than deception to break her love for him.

She walked past him to the cabinet and took out a small glass. Filling it up at the sink, she set it down in front of him and went to the medicine cabinet to grab him something for his pain. (Y/N) returned and gently set the pills next to the glass.

Hawks reached over and grabbed them from the table, grazing his hand against hers. Something inside him snapped, she was warm and he had forgotten, and soon she will be gone. His eyes went dark and he smirked at the glass of water, reaching for it and popping the pills into his mouth.

“Thanks Kid.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Keigo shut his eyes and stopped breathing for a moment. He knew he was going to be backed in a corner but he couldn’t take any more time to process without making the situation worse.

“Yeah, what?”

“Do you even miss me when you’re gone doing God knows what?”. (Y/N)’s voice was cold and seeping with anger. She had surprised herself, not expecting for that choice of words and tones to leave the confines of her mind.

Keigo opened his mouth like he was laughing but no sound came out. He was pissed at and for no valid reasons. She was asking him something she earned the right to ask but he was mad she was doubting him. The hypocrisy of his thoughts didn’t go unnoticed but he started to speak before he was finished. Time’s up.

“Only sometimes”

(Y/N) flinched like she had been hit. She reached her fingers out towards him and crumpled them into her palms. She would not touch him this time.

She slowly retreated for the safety of the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She barely finished the task before gripping onto the counter and crumpling to the floor, sobbing into her elbow in a poor attempt to hide the sound. Her world was crumbling in around her, and she still loved him.

*But you forget. You don't understand. You've turned your head. You've dropped my hand.*

(Y/N) stopped asking questions about Keigo’s alter life outside of their shared apartment. The answers were killing her but she couldn’t let him go just yet. She would need time to brace herself, steel against the pain in her chest, and leave.

Hawks could tell he was going to lose (Y/N). She spent their time home together in silence, wanting. When he returned home, she only held his hand for a moment and then retreated to the kitchen, finishing dinner.

Keigo stopped sleeping. Who knew that this choice in the vats of many would be the one to kill him and keep him awake. (Y/N) was asleep soundly beside him, curled into a ball, and he watched her breathe. Hawks reached out a finger and gently brushed her arm, stroking in straight lines from shoulder to elbow. “If this was a different life, and I was a different man, we could have been perfect. But I can’t be who you need.” He whispered to himself, barely audible.

*All my sorrows. All my blues. All my sorrows.

Hawks kept drinking and every time he got drunk, he would black out and go home with someone. He had lost count of how many women or men it had been so far. Anything to numb how he felt inside. Keigo never thought he would be deserving of love and he was out to prove it.

(Y/N) had been packing in small amounts. Drawers that he never used, boxes from under their bed, things tucked in the back of the closet. She slowly packed pieces of her life away and traveled them to her new apartment. It wasn’t far from where you were and made it easy to smuggle out her belongings. (Y/N) wanted to leave but she needed time to do it.

Hawks noticed things going missing when the books on the shelves seemed fewer. Then he started pacing around the house while (Y/N) worked, searching for what was gone. After discovering that more of her things were gone than remained, it dawned on him where this was headed. She’s going to leave soon. I made her leave.

*Full of grace, you cover your face.*

Keigo returned home drunk once again but this time (Y/N) didn’t seem as cold as she had been. She was red in the face, flushed, and trembling slightly.

“Keigo, I made dinner if you’re hungry?”

Keigo looked over at her on the way to the couch, but it overwhelmed him. He needed to get the hell out of there fast.

“I’m only home for a few minutes before i’m going back out. I have plans”.

“Oh okay, I was hoping to spend time with you today. Maybe later then?” (Y/N)’s voice cracked when she got to later then, it was a piss poor attempt at courage but it was all she was capable of.

Keigo didn’t reply, just exhaled loudly. He was tired of playing games and lying to you but it had to be done. Hawks sat up when his phone started to buzz on the coffee table. He snagged it up and looked at the message lightning fast and made his way back to the front door.

You shakily reached out towards his back and retracted your hand before he saw. “I love you, Keigo. Please be safe”

Keigo slowly smiled at you and replied with his usual comment. “Love you too, kid. I’ll see ya later”

Keigo rushed out the door and into the alley near their house, hoping for privacy. Once he was midway through and in the darkest part of the alley, he punched the wall and threw his phone into the cement. I love her and I made her leave me. Hawks started to break down, holding his face in his hands and crying. “I wanted to love you but I was kidding myself. I don’t know how to be the man you need me to be.”. Keigo shook his head violently and jumped off for a flight to somewhere, anywhere but this neighborhood. It all reminded him of you.

*Kid. Precious kid. Your eyes are blue but you won't cry I know. Angry tears are too dear. You won't let them go.*

Keigo came home late that night, sneaking into his house quietly. He made his way to your bedroom and saw your sleeping form in bed. Hawks couldn’t bear sleeping next to you tonight when he was still raw from earlier. He slipped off his jacket and boots and curled up on the small loveseat you had by the window. It smelled like (Y/N) and lulled him to sleep.

Keigo woke up when he heard movement. He opened one eye to see the bed empty and the house dark. He closed his eye again and squeezed them shut. It’s today.

Time moved slow while he waited to hear the door open and shut, shutting you out of his life forever. His eyes closed, he pictured your face on your first flight with him, full of joy and excitement. Keigo saw that light drain out of you, and he was to blame. This would sit heavy on his soul for the rest of days.

He heard a soft squeak at the doorway and knew you were standing there.

“I love you, Keigo. Please be safe”. (Y/N) whispered.

Keigo listened for her receding footsteps and heard the click of the front door lock. He stared up at the ceiling, cursing himself.

“Love you too, Kid. I’ll see ya later”. Keigo whispered to the empty room, wide awake. She was gone, and he was alone.

#reader insert fanfiction #fanfiction #hawks hurt #hawks fanfic #hawks x y/n #hawks x you #hawks x reader

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nikki-writes-stuff · 4 years

Text

Beauty In the Blood - Part Four

Summary: One day your friend convinces you to join a dating website that matches people based on their search histories, and when you match with Loki Odinson, a handsome, intelligent coroner who’s a fan of your murder mysteries, you’re absolutely thrilled. But there’s something off about Loki, and as your relationship progresses, you discover that his dark side is even darker than you could ever have imagined…

Pairing: Serial Killer!Loki x Writer!Reader

Read part three here!

A/N: This story is based off of this post! I hope you guys enjoy; this is my first time writing Loki, and this will probably be the darkest thing I’ve ever written. Please let me know what you think as the story progresses!

A/N: Warning! This chapter contains light smut at the beginning and heavy gore in the middle. If that kind of thing bothers you, then try skipping down to Natasha’s point of view. It’ll summarize what basically happened while sparing the nasty details. (Also, I’ll have you know that a lot of morbid Google searches went into the making of this chapter, lol.) Enjoy!

Your eyes flew open with a gasp, and your fingers twisted and dug into the sheets; a ragged, breathless moan tore itself out of your throat, and for a moment, you couldn’t tell whether or not you were still asleep. You’d just been dreaming a second ago, though you couldn’t remember what about, but now, there was something hot and wet lapping at your already-drenched pussy.

Blearily, you looked down, making out the form of something moving beneath the blankets. Or, rather, someone. The events of the last night came back to you just as another moan escaped from your parted lips, and you threw back the covers to see a familiar head of black hair nestled between your spread thighs.

“L-loki,” you sputtered, voice still rough from sleeping. “Wh-what are you- oh, fuck-!”

His chuckle was muffled as he wrapped his lips around your clit and started sucking, and your back arched up as your hands flew to his hair. You fought to keep your eyes open, wanting to savor the sight of his aquamarine eyes staring up at you while he gently grazed his teeth over your sensitive bud. The sensation sent shockwaves up and down your spine, and your hands moved to his hair as your hips started rolling upwards of their own accord.

You only lasted for an embarrassingly-short amount of time; you had no way of knowing how long Loki had been playing with your cunt while you slept, but within just a few minutes of waking up, you felt your toes curl as your orgasm washed over you. Your eyes never left his, taking in the proud, almost smug, gleam in them as he greedily tasted your cum.

His tongue kept lazily exploring your pussy, grazing over your clit as you jolted from the oversensitivity. Biting your lip, you tugged on his dark tresses, watching as he reluctantly pulled his head up to fully face you.

“Good morning,” he smirked, his lips swollen and slick with your juices.

“I… Good morning,” you stammered. “That was…one hell of a way to wake up.”

Both of you chuckled as he crawled up your body, wrapping an arm around your waist before pulling you into a kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and you couldn’t help the tiny groan that came out of your mouth at the lewdness it.

Loki pulled away, licking his lips as he looked down at you. For a moment, the two of you were silent, taking in the other person as sunlight drifted in from behind your closed blinds. His hair fell in thick, frizzy waves, no doubt rumpled from how you’d been manhandling it both last night and this morning, and his face seemed to be almost…softer than usual. Despite how he’d woken you up, you could see a faint gleam of sleepiness still lingering in his expression, and it made him look younger; with a smile, you traced one of his cheekbones with a finger, trailing it down the line of his jaw and sweeping it across his lower lip.

“You’re beautiful, Loki,” you whispered. You hadn’t meant to speak those words out loud, but there was no denying the truth in them.

A wide, close-lipped smile came to his face, and he pressed one more peck to your cheek before pulling away to sit beside you on the bed.

“I think,” he mused, “that we both need a big breakfast with even bigger cups of coffee after last night.” His voice was just a touch gravelly, but there was no denying the affection in it as he looked down at you, lazily playing with a strand of your hair.

“Don’t tell me I wore you out,” you chuckled, reluctantly pulling yourself to sit up. Loki gave you a tired, almost sheepish smile, before he pulled himself to his feet.

“I must be slowing down in my old age,” he joked, eyes scanning the floor to see where his underwear had ended up.

Propped up on your elbows, you watched the lean muscles of his body contract and bend as he stooped to retrieve them, and you were once more reminded of a statue carved from the purest white marble. The corded muscles of his thighs flexed with every movement as he stalked over to your en suite bathroom, and it was only when he’d closed the door behind him that you decided it was time to get up.

“I was thinking,” you called out, making your way to your closet, “that we could get some breakfast together at a café down the street. My treat.”

You pulled on a nude bra with matching panties, not hearing the bathroom door as it swung open. It was only when you felt cold hands descend upon your waist that you jolted and turned to face Loki again, not missing the way his eyes skimmed over your breasts.

“I’d say that you treated me to more than enough last night,” he purred. “Between your amazing cooking, your beautiful writing, and your absolutely sinful body, well…” His hands trailed up your sides, tickling over your ribs before slipping under the cups of your bra.

“A man can get spoiled quite easily.”

Needless to say, it was a while before either of you got properly dressed.

______________

Loki sipped his black coffee as you consumed the café’s specialty drink of the day, his hand resting over yours as you both finished off your breakfasts. The two of you had been sitting in companionable silence for a while, giving you an opportunity to think of what you would right next in your newest work in progress.

“I can practically see the gears turning in your head, love,” he chuckled after a while, shaking you from your thoughts. “Care to share?”

You smiled, setting down your fork[NL1] .

“Just about the book,” you told him. “I think I’m going to write another killing scene soon.”

Your boyfriend’s eyes leapt up, his interest obviously piqued.

“Oh? How will our coroner do it this time?”

You winced unconsciously, your thoughts turning red for the briefest of moments as you considered whether or not to share your twisted ideas with him.

“I’m…not sure if it’s the right thing to discuss over breakfast,” you admitted weakly. “Wouldn’t want your breakfast to, uh, disagree with you.”

“Love? Need I remind you of what I do for a living?” was his deadpanned response. “I play with corpses for a paycheck; I promise that not only will it not bother me to hear, but that I want to.”

As strange of a response as it was, you couldn’t help but feel warmth bloom in your chest; you’d nearly forgotten that Loki wasn’t like other people. You didn’t have to filter your morbid, macabre thoughts around him. If anything, his dry and sardonic sense of humor encouraged the darker turn your conversations often ended up taking.

“Well… I’m considering having her…” You trailed off, searching for the right word. “Disembowel someone, I suppose. Her victim is one of the rare few she takes to satisfy a personal agenda; typically, she’ll just pick a random innocent, but this time it’s semi-personal. So I was considering a more passionate murder for them.”

Loki’s eyes were shining with a mischievous sort of joy, and you found yourself thinking, not for the first time, that if he wasn’t so directly involved with death on a daily basis, his love of such things would be concerning, to say the least. But you supposed that the same could be said of you, and so you trudged on with your brainstorming.

“I was thinking about having her cut them open and use their intestines to strangle them, but I’m not even sure if that would even work in real life,” you mused, tracing the edge of your coffee cup with a finger. “I imagine that a person would die from being cut open before they could die from asphyxiation.”

He nodded his head solemnly, turning over your words. You were relieved to find no disgust within his features – only mild interest as he pondered.

“Off the top of my head, I can think of a few issues that one would have if they were to attempt such a thing,” he considered. “For one, there’s the bleeding to contend with. And I would think someone could go into shock and lose consciousness if they’re awake and conscious during the ordeal.

“Which, of course, they would have to be. Otherwise, what fun would it be?”

A surprised bark of laughter escaped your lips, and your hand flew up to cover your mouth as Loki’s spread into a wide, toothy grin.

“You’re bad,” you chided, shooting him a look of mock-reproach.

“Oh, I’m well aware. But so are you, darling. It would appear we’re two sides of the same unconventional coin.”

Your smile softened, and you gave his hand a squeeze before tipping your head back and draining the rest of your coffee, not catching the spark in his eyes as watched your throat.

“But I will think about your idea while I’m at work; maybe I’ll come up with a way for our favorite coroner to pull off such an interesting kill.”

“Thank you, love. But I have to say, Olivia is still only my second favorite coroner.”

__________________

Loki hummed to himself, listening to the way the sound echoed throughout the cavernous theater. Typically, he preferred to bring his victims back to his home so as to ensure more privacy, but he was feeling festive this evening; why not celebrate the occasion with a bit of a change in scenery?

And what scenery it was. He’d first discovered the abandoned theater about a year after moving to New York. It was located on the outskirts of Manhattan, tucked away into a quiet, crumbling corner of the city that few ventured into. Not even the homeless dared take up residence in the old building; Loki had already nearly fallen through the worn, creaking hardwood of the stage once, and the ceiling was dotted with holes that hinted at the establishment’s imminent collapse. It was only a matter of time before man or nature razed the theater to concrete and crushed brick, but he doubted such a thing would happen tonight.

He’d always been remarkably lucky, all things considered.

The plastic of his hazmat suit crumbled and squeaked with his every movement, and it was becoming quite muggy and humid with his own sweat, but he’d been doing this for too long to risk getting caught now. He’d been meticulous, making sure that no trace of himself would be left behind – just his work.

His head perked up when he heard movement from behind him, and he glanced sideways at the evening’s entertainment. He hadn’t cared to learn his name; all he knew was that the man currently encased in duct tape and rope had cut him off in traffic, and that had been enough justification for Loki to follow him home. The poor sap hadn’t made it to his front door, though; no, he had a greater purpose to serve.

He turned fully to watch as the man’s eyes blinked open, sluggishly roving about the room as he recovered from the blow Loki had landed to the back of his head. Once their eyes met, though, he watched as realization washed over his countenance, and in the wake of realization, terror. A deep, guttural groan was muffled by duct tape, and the sound bounced along the high-vaulted ceiling and peeling walls.

“Oh, my apologies,” Loki smirked. “Here, let me…”

He crossed to the man and knelt down, ripping the tape off in one quick, harsh movement.

“Please, I have a family-“ the man started to plead, but the coroner only rolled his eyes before standing up once again.

“I was hoping for something more original,” he sighed disappointedly. “If I had a dollar for every time I heard those words, I would probably be able to afford a second home in Malibu.”

He chuckled at his own joke, tuning out the man’s pitiful wailing as he dragged his toolkit closer. Squatting down, he lined up the three syringes he’d brought with him, just in case, before drawing out his beloved pocketknife. Its ebony handle shone in the dim lighting, reflecting a distorted image of the smile he was currently wearing.

“I-I-I can pay you, too,” he heard from behind him. “Anything you want! I work on Wall Street; I can-“

“Let me ask you something,” he interrupted once again. After lovingly setting the knife down next to the syringes, he brought himself up to his feet.

The man was now visibly trembling, trying to squirm his way out of the rope binding his arms and legs. Loki inhaled deeply through his nose; he could swear that he smelled the fear radiating off of his victim, could taste it on his tongue - metallic and salty and intoxicating.

“What is your name?” he inquired, tilting his head.

“Larry. L-Larry Farmer.”

“Larry Farmer?” He tilted his head back, shoulders shaking with laughter. “That… I’m sorry; I’m being terribly rude, laughing at your name like this. It’s just that you look like a Larry Farmer, if I’ve ever seen one.”

Larry seemed to be too frightened to be offended, though he couldn’t care less about what this soon-to-be-corpse thought of his manners. He reserved them only for those who deserved courtesy, after all.

“Well, Larry,” he continued on. “I’m sure you have at least some semblance of an idea as to why I’ve brought you here.”

“Please, don’t- don’t kill me, I-I’ll do anything-“

“If it’s any consolation, your death is, in a way, for posterity’s sake. You’re going to be famous, Larry. Probably in both the news and my lover’s latest masterpiece.”

He crossed the floor to the hook he’d set up earlier that day, hoping that it would work for its intended purpose. The hook was large and rusted, and connected to it was a long length of rope that he’d slung over one of the exposed beams above the stage. He’d tested his own weight on it, satisfied that it was still sturdy despite the state of the rest of the theater, but now he was starting to have his doubts. Mr. Farmer wasn’t as muscular as him, but he was quite rotund. And while Loki typically didn’t judge such a thing, he was worried that the man would either snap the rope or send the roof tumbling down onto them.

With one final tug to make sure the hook was secured, he started marching back towards the sobbing man sprawled out on the floor, delighting in the way his eyes widened and his feet skittered in their bonds, trying to push himself away from the killer as he approached. With a grunt, he grabbed Larry’s suit jacket and dragged him back to the contraption, his breath ragged by the time he managed to attach the hook to the rope twined around the quivering fool’s hands.

“Well, at least I can skip cardio tomorrow,” he grunted to himself through clenched teeth. His shoes clicked as he made his way to the other end of the hook’s rope, but their sound was almost drowned out by Larry’s screams.

“HELP ME,” he was shouting, his body writhing on the ground in a way that reminded Loki of worms once the rain washed them onto a sidewalk. “PLEASE, SOMEONE, HE’S GONNA KILL ME-“

“He sure is.”

Gripping the rope in both hands, Loki planted his feet and pulled, watching Mr. Farmer’s body as first his arms were raised up, followed by his torso, until, after a lot of panting and heaving on Loki’s part, he was suspended in the air. His feet were kicking as much as they could with tape twined around his ankles, trying to make contact with the ground, but he remained hovering just above it by a few inches.

After tying off the rope to a nearby post, Loki sauntered over to the hanging man, hands folded behind his back as he caught his breath from the excursion.

“There, now. Much better.”

His eyes followed the length of rope upwards, pleased that it looked to be holding fast. Finally, everything was ready for his little experiment. Stooping down, he retrieved his knife, admiring it for a moment before turning back to Larry.

“No, no, no, please, please-“

“Hushhhh, no one can hear you,” he purred, coming to stand before the man who was still persisting in begging for his life.

He rested one of his hands on Larry’s shoulder, gripping tight as he plunged the knife into his gut. The blade wasn’t terribly long – maybe four or five inches – but it cut deep enough that, when Loki flicked his wrist to make a long, clean slash along the lower abdomen, the intestines fell out with a wet, satisfying squish. Or, rather, part of them did.

“O-oh my god…”

Larry’s voice was a low moan of pain, and Loki took a second to bask in it as blood dripped steadily to the floor. His screams had morphed into anguished grunts and groans, which were infinitely more pleasing to Loki’s ear. A quick upwards glance showed that his face had gone unnaturally pale, and his eyes were half-lidded as he threatened to pass out.

“Oh, no, not yet-“

Loki stooped down, grabbing one of the syringes and stabbing it into the man’s chest, injecting it with his thumb pushing down on the plunger. Larry’s body jolted, a gasp parting his pale lips as his eyes once more snapped open.

“There, we go,” the killer purred, tucking the syringe into one of Mr. Farmer’s pockets. “A little bit of adrenaline goes a long way, hm? Now.”

He reached down, holding a length of slippery small intestines between his hands.

“Stay with me for just a little longer more, Larry. Then you can go to sleep; I promise.”

With gentle tugs and steady movements, Loki brought the length of the gut up and around Larry’s neck, drinking in the horror on his expression. A series of disbelieving, shocked gurgles escaped the man’s throat as Loki wrapped each hand firmly in the intestines.

“Wh-y,” he wheezed, surprising Loki with his ability to still speak despite the amount of his insides which were, currently, on his outside. “A-a-re y-ou do- doing thi-s-s-s…”

He chuckled in response, his eyebrows jumping up as he met Mr. Farmer’s eyes.

“Why are all the best crimes committed?” he countered as he started to pull on the length of intestine. The man’s eyes bugged out as he began to choke, and a crease formed between Loki’s eyebrows as he focused on not losing his grip on the slippery material.

He brought his face close to the man now struggling for breath, admiring the way his skin had started to turn from pale to purple. His voice was barely above a whisper as he answered his own question, keeping his fingers tight around the gut gripped in them.

“For love.”

Only seconds later, Larry Farmer’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, and all too soon, he went limp.

Later on, once Loki was showered and resting in his bed, he called you, holding the phone to his ear and waiting impatiently for you to pick up.

“…Hello?”

A smile came over his face upon hearing your voice, and he closed his eyes, replaying the look in Larry’s eyes just before he’d succumbed to death.

“Hello, love. I’ve been thinking about what you said over breakfast yesterday; I think I have a few ideas about how Olivia would be able to pull it off…”

_____________________

There wasn’t enough caffeine in the world for days like this, but the large tumbler of iced coffee in Natasha’s hand would have to do. A matching one was in Steve’s as the two detectives marched into the theater, and she couldn’t help but sigh at the small herd of reporters that had already started to form outside the condemned building.

“I don’t know whether to be impressed or annoyed that they always manage to get here before we do,” her partner mused, casting a disapproving glance towards the news vans and flashing cameras.

Detective Romanoff’s eyes flashed as she followed his gaze, and her full lips twisted into a grimace before taking a sip of her drink.

“I’m gonna go with annoyed,” she sighed. “Vultures, the lot of them.”

“You won’t hear me disagree.”

He lifted the line of caution tape barricading the door for her, and she muttered a thank you before ducking under it and walking into the aged, dingey lobby within. The crushed velvet lining the walls had to be filled with decades’ worth of pollen and dust, and she was already fighting down the urge to sneeze. Officers were dotted here and there, trying to lift a print off of any possible surface, but she’d already been informed that they had yet to find anything useful.

“Detective Romanoff, Detective Rogers.”

The two turned to see Officer Coulson walking up to them, his hands hooked into his belt as he approached. Natasha’s lips twitched upwards; Phil was a gifted officer, a kind man, and a good friend, and seeing him managed to slightly lessen the painful headache starting to form behind her eyes.

“Coulson,” she greeted. “Heard you have quite a doozy waiting for us.”

“That’s one way of putting it. Just wanted to give you a heads up before you go in there. Let’s just say that we’ve already had an officer lose his breakfast at the sight of it.”

One of her manicured eyebrows arched up, and she and Steve shared a look before turning towards the doors that led to the auditorium.

“Is it that bad?” Steve asked, a node of trepidation in his voice.

“It ain’t good.”

With that, Coulson turned and walked out the building, bringing his phone out of his pocket to no doubt give Sergeant Fury a call. Natasha didn’t know what she was dreading more – walking into the auditorium, or having her superior breathing down her neck until they caught whoever had left behind the body.

Without further preamble, she squared her shoulders and pushed past the doors, eyes immediately widening as she saw what was waiting for them. A portly, middle-aged man was dangling from the ceiling by his own bound hands, and as she walked closer, she saw that his own intestines were looped around his neck like some kind of morbid scarf. Steve cursed under his breath, and Natasha nodded her head in silent agreement with the sentiment.

Fuck, indeed.

Doctor Banner, a forensic specialist who’d been working with the police since before Natasha had come to America, turned towards them as they climbed the steps to the stage. His salt and pepper curls were messy and wild, and stubble was thick on his cheeks, signifying that he’d probably left home that morning in a hurry.

“Oh, hey,” he greeted them, though his eyes were on Natasha alone. “You made it; we were about to get the party started without you.”

“I don’t see how that’s a party,” she fired back, nodding towards the corpse.

Banner nodded, glancing back at the body as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Yeah, I see your point…”

Steve smiled, glancing between the two before clearing his throat.

“What can you tell us about all of this, Dr. Banner?” he asked, drawing the scientist’s attention back to the matter at hand.

“Oh, right. Yeah, so this is Larry Farmer, age 49. Time of death looks to be about 12 hours ago; we’re lucky that we found him at all. If the local kids hadn’t decided to try and practice their graffiti here, who knows when he would’ve been found?”

He pulled a pen out of his breast pocket, using it to point along the length of intestine twined around Mr. Farmer’s neck.

“He lost a lot of blood, but the burst capillaries in his eyes and face suggests that he died from strangulation, not blood loss. Now, we found an empty syringe in his pocket, and we’ll have to do a few tests on it to see-“

“Wait a minute,” Steve interrupted, holding up a hand. “You’re telling me that this guy was strangled with his own-“

“Intestines, yeah,” the doctor finished for him with a wince. “Pretty fucked up, isn’t it?”

“To put it mildly,” Natasha stated, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Now what was this about a syringe?”

“Right; we don’t know for sure what it is, but I’m willing to bet it was either something to clot the blood or something to keep him awake. We’ll know in a few hours. The medical examiner will be able to test his blood, too, to see if there’s any other kind of chemical in it that shouldn’t be there.”

“Sounds good,” Natasha nodded. “Do we know which hospital he’s gonna be brought to?”

Hours later, she felt her heart sinking as Steve pulled up to Bellevue Hospital, its familiar shape looming over her as she thought about the man who was, most likely, puttering away in the morgue. Something in her chest ached at the idea, and her displeasure must have shown on her face, because Steve turned to her with a sympathetic glance one the care was put into park.

“He might not even be working today,” he offered, fake optimism dripping from his voice. “Besides, he’s not the only medical examiner here. Farmer might have been brought to Dr. Lyons, or Dr. Stewart, or-“

“The universe would never be so kind,” Natasha snarked before stepping out of the police car, pulling her leather jacket on over her sweater as the cold nipped at her skin.

Her breath turned to fog as she and Steve walked in side by side, shoulders brushing every now and then as she unconsciously leaned towards her friend for support. He didn’t know the whole story – no one but her and Dr. Odinson did – but he knew that there was history between the two of them. Everyone who knew of her prickly feelings for Loki assumed that they’d dated at one point in time, and she let them think that, not wanting to look on the past long enough to recall the twisted web of memories waiting there for her.

The morgue was always kept about ten degrees cooler than the rest of the hospital, and an icy finger trailed down her spine as she made her way to the familiar observation room. And, belatedly, the familiar man working inside.

Dr. Odinson was hunched over the body, sewing Larry Farmer shut with a precise, skillful hand; a small, absentminded smile had settled over his lips, and Natasha felt herself shudder at the sight. She would try to rationalize that he must be thinking about something pleasant, but she’d seen that same smile on his face countless of times before, all while he worked on the corpses laid out on his steel observation table.

Loki liked what he did, for reasons that she frankly didn’t care to learn.

“Dr. Odinson,” Steve called out, prompting the doctor’s head to turn promptly towards them.

“Ah. Hello, detectives,” he greeted, straightening up. He delicately placed the suture onto Mr. Farmer’s bare chest before stepping away and shucking off his examination gloves. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

“We wanted to pick up the toxicology report on our way back to the station,” Steve explained. “Did you find anything that could be useful?”

“I found a few things that might be useful to you,” he informed them.

His long legs carried him to his desk in powerful, confident strides, and he retrieved a manilla envelope from the stack of neat papers situation on its surface.

“After running some tests, I-“

He was interrupted by the loud, tinny sound of a phone going off, and Steve’s hand flew into his pocket, pulling his device out and glancing at the caller ID.

“It’s Bucky,” he said, glancing up at Natasha. “Is it ok if I…?”

He trailed off, and a spike of anxiety pierced through her at the thought of being left alone with Loki. But she masked her unease with a tight, forced smile before nodding her head.

“Yeah! Yeah, go ahead; I’ll fill you in on whatever you miss.”

Steve nodded his thanks and walked out, accepting the call and bringing the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, babe, what’s up?”

His voice faded as he stepped out of the room, and no other words were discernable as he spoke to his husband in the hallway.

“…As I was saying,” Loki continued on, turning his full attention to Natasha. “After running some tests, I found an unusually large amount of adrenaline in his blood; Dr. Banner mentioned something about finding a syringe in his pocket?”

Natasha nodded, and Loki handed her the envelope, his fingers long and pale against its surface.

“Well, the exact numbers are in the report, but it was enough adrenaline to keep him conscious throughout the process,” he pushed on, a surprising lack of teasing in his voice. “He was, indeed, killed by asphyxiation, though I suspect that, if he hadn’t have been strangled, he would have bled out within a matter of minutes.

“There was a blow to the back of his head, too, that likely wouldn’t have caused any permanent damage, but it’s worth noting.”

“Well, that would confirm that he was knocked out and then taken to the theater,” she mused, biting her lower lip in thought.

“Either that, or he went to the theater with someone who then decided to knock him out. He was, however, fully awake at the time of strangulation.”

Natasha nodded, tucking the envelope under her arm.

“…Thank you, Dr. Odinson,” she finally stated. “I’ll give you a call if I have any questions about your report.”

Aside from the cynical jump in his eyebrows upon hearing her refer to him by this professional title, Loki offered none of his usual sly remarks or glances before turning on his heel and making his way back to the body.

“Any time, Officer Romanoff.”

She grit her teeth in annoyance, glaring at him as he pulled on another set of gloves.

“It’s detective, Loki. And you know it.”

His movements slowed to a stop, and once more his eyes met hers. She forced herself not to look away, staring back at him coolly until he resumed pulling on the gloves.

“My mistake,” he muttered. “Force of habit. Detective Romanoff.”

The redhead nodded, her curls bouncing in her peripheral vision, and hesitated for a second longer before turning back to the doors. Something in her made her stop, though, and she glanced back at the doctor as he picked up the suture once more, his hemostats clicking as he locked them in place.

“…Hey. You doing anything later?”

She hated the tremble in her voice, hated the sick part of her that wanted him to say yes. God knows she didn’t care for the man; his very presence set her teeth on edge.

But she was weak, and he had always been very skilled at relieving the tension she managed to accumulate during the days like this one.

Loki glanced up at her from under his lashes, but his hands didn’t still in their movements as he answered.

“I’m planning on cooking dinner for my girlfriend, actually.”

Silence stretched out between them, and Natasha did nothing to hide the shock on her features. Something cold wrapped around her lungs and squeezed, and she fought down a tide of embarrassment as she thought back to the woman she’d seen Loki talking to several days before.

“…Oh. I’m sorry, I… I didn’t know-“

“It’s quite alright,” he assured her in a, surprisingly, kind tone. “I always did say that conventional relationships weren’t my forte.”

She nodded, recalling the first time he’d said those very same words to her.

“She must be special, then,” Natasha offered, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. “To have changed your mind like that.”

A fond smile came to his lips, very similar to the one he wore when focused on his work, and though she didn’t feel even a shred of jealousy, it was still unnerving to see.

“She’s very special, Detective. Very special indeed.”

On the other side of the doors behind her, Natasha heard Steve say his goodbyes to Bucky, and she turned to walk out before he could join her in the operatory.

Once Loki was left alone in the room, he turned back to Larry Farmer, a bemused smile on his face.

“…It’s complicated,” he said to the corpse, staring down into his cloudy, sightless eyes.

He didn’t expect an answer as he finished sewing up the wound he himself had inflicted, but the smile on his lips didn’t falter.

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader #dark!loki x reader #serial killer!loki #serial killer au #gore

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demonologist-in-denim · 3 years

Text

What if in earlier seasons, Crowley was written as an amiable ally for the boys, rather than them disliking him. Imagine Crowley being established as “not as bad as other demons” in the Winchester’s eyes, as a semi-reluctant ally who – yeah, on occasion, puts his own interests first, but never directly threatens and even occasionally helps the boys. He’s still snarky, and he can still be an arse. But the boys know that as long as they don’t cross him, Crowley won’t mess with them. From Crowley’s end, that’s because keeping good relations with the infamous Winchester brothers is to his benefit. But then, they start to grow on him. And maybe he’s a little more lenient with the flannelled nightmares than he should be, a little indulgent, rolls his eyes and does a few favors for them. Which only further encourages the Winchesters, and later a less willing Castiel, to view him as a frenemy.

The rest of the early seasons is the same, except now, moving into season 6, the boys are willingly working with Crowley and Cas. They don’t like the idea of opening up Purgatory, but they understand that Hell and Heaven really do need to be taken in hand – and who else are they going to trust to do that? As things start to look really dark throughout that season, the boys start pushing back, start testing their relationship with both angel and demon, and Cas still betrays all of them and takes the souls for himself. And now there’s season 7, with Crowley working with the boys to stop Cas – Dean wanting to save him from himself, Sam and Crowley unhappily planning to kill the angel – Sam because he doesn’t think Cas can be saved, and Crowley because he wants his share of the Purgatory power. Unleash the Leviathans, and now we’ve got the King of Hell working closely and willingly with the boys to stop this new threat. Demons at their disposal, even. Which doesn’t put Crowley in a very good position in Hell, but he pushes on because it’s this or let the Leviathans eat the world. The Winchesters plus Crowley and a now restored Castiel manage to defeat the Leviathans, just as the demons rise up and dethrone Crowley. Hell is a free-for-all, and demons are loose in the world.

Then have all of season 8 be about demon in-fighting and the human casualties along the way. The boys work to get Crowley back on the throne, so he can restore some order. But that also means he’s temporarily dependent on them, in hiding with them from his former minions. Leads them to the Men of Letters legacy, which in turn leads to the bunker. Bring the British Men of Letters back in seasons earlier, alerted to the awakening of one of their old establishments in the States. Throw Abaddon into the mix, providing a competitor for Crowley laying claim to the throne, which would make him more susceptible to the help offered by the Winchesters, and unfortunately to the supposed support of the BMoL as well. By now, Crowley’s an unofficial member of Team Free Will, the boys well aware he chose saving the world (and them) over giving his full attention to Hell, leading to all this. There’s the sense that the four of them – plus Kevin and Charlie, at this point – are all in it together. Maybe even Meg is still around, maybe she’s trying to lead one of the demonic factions, and there is this whole I-care-about-you-but-we’re-on-opposite-sides between her and Cas. Crowley has softened, the same way Cas softened over time with exposure to humanity and the Winchesters.

Of course the tablets and Kevin came into play with the Leviathans. The BMoL reveal they have the demon tablet, and suggest Kevin might be able to find something on it to control demonkind and restore Hell. Big dramatic reveal to the Winchesters only, the BMoL admit that there is a means of closing the Gates of Hell permanently on the tablet – learned from a previous prophet whom, ahem, did not survive their duty – and now the Winchesters are torn between sparing the world from demons and betraying Crowley. Crowley, who is counting on them to help him get his throne back. Crowley who has begrudgingly and then more willingly worked cases with them while they’ve tried to find an answer to all of this. Crowley who led them to the MoL and the bunker in the first place. Who isn’t as bad as the rest of his kind, who Dean likes to go for a drink with and might even consider a friend. And just as the Winchesters decide they can find another way to close the Gates, Kevin discovers the necessary spell, and the BMoLs take advantage that there is a demon close at hand, and snatch Crowley to perform the demon trials.

And by the time the Winchesters race to his rescue – torn, because ending the trial means not closing the Gates, but damn it, he’s had their backs, so they’re going to have his – Crowley is in the last hour of the cure. Tells them to let it happen, let the trial be complete, the Gates slammed shut. His own soul restored. But there’s that whole thing with Metatron and Cas and the angels going on, so of course this is the moment the angels are cast out of Heaven. And Abaddon bursts in, maybe Meg comes to challenge her. And in all the chaos, the cure is never completed, time’s up, too late. The boys defeat the BMoLs, rescue Crowley, escape. Cas is lost somewhere in the world, human after what happened in Heaven.

Season 9 would be almost completely the same – Crowley’s blood addiction, searching for the Mark and the Blade, Abaddon, the angels, all of it – except, the Winchesters actually sympathize with Crowley. They express concern, ask after him, say maybe having regained something of his soul is a good thing. And Crowley is torn, because he can now really feel that affection he has for the boys, and he might very well have the option of a place among them, but also he knows Hell needs a ruler to keep demonkind in line, and he still likes power. The boys help him overthrow Abaddon, help him get clean of his blood addiction. Maybe there’s a scene where Crowley and Meg compare notes – he who went through the cure, and she who cares for an angel, neither of whom really fit with demonkind anymore. And by the time the season reaches the later episodes, with Crowley back on the throne and the boys working cases while trying to figure out what to do about Metatron, Crowley is an acknowledged, secret extension of Team Free Will. Makes changes to Hell, keeps demonkind under tight control, helps here and there on cases.

All of this, all of this headcanon, just to get to the point where the boys are always making side comments to Crowley about, you know, how if he wanted to give up Hell and join the three of them full time, he’d be welcome. Come on, just work one more case with us. Just this one about hellhounds. Just that one with vampires. Just one more, one more, one more. And Crowley acquiesces more than he knows he should. Cares about the boys and Cas more than he knows he should, hates Hell and demons more than he knows he should.

So that by the time the Mark takes Dean and turns him into a demon, it’s not only Sam and Cas that are hurt by it. It’s Crowley, too. Crowley who sees Dean turning into something truly evil, something worse than Crowley himself is now. And he agrees with Sam and Cas that he’ll take demon!Dean under his wing as his second-in-command in Hell until they find a cure, a cure for the Mark as much as for being a demon. Season 10 is all about Cas (who’s grace is fading) and Sam working to find a cure while working cases, and Crowley trying to keep Dean occupied with hunting down rebel demons and the like. He even sends the Knight of Hell after angels, to capture more grace for the fading Castiel. Throw Rowena – as Fergus’ ex-wife – in there, attempting to convince Crowley to share his throne with her, causing mischief. He would feel this deep sense of loneliness – demon!Dean isn’t the companion he was before the Mark, Rowena only wants power for herself ultimately, demonkind hates and is in open rebellion against him – and Crowley is beginning to admit to himself that he just doesn’t have this in him anymore, to be the kind of monster it takes to rule Hell. Maybe Dean even tries to take the throne from him, with Rowena’s help, and the acceptance by the demons of this alternative ruler is everything Crowley needs to finally break from old loyalties and the desire to rule, from demonkind entirely.

Realizing the situation is entirely out of control, Crowley, Cas and Sam work to capture Dean. They convince Rowena, who has now taken the throne of Hell for herself, to remove the Mark, thus removing a threat to her reign. Crowley makes an oath that if she will do this, he will never seek to retake the throne. An enraged demon!Dean is forced through the demon trials, in which he says the most horrible and hurtful things to Sam and Cas. And to Crowley, cuttingly demanding to know why the former king will put Dean through this, restore the hunter’s humanity, but not his own. Crowley doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t have an answer because he realizes that, once, he would have said it was important he hold Hell, or that he wanted the power that came with being a demon, or that he was scared of facing what he’s done as a demon. In light of everything that has happened – the complete rejection by demonkind and the loss of Hell, the revulsion he feels after the aborted cure and Dean’s own time as a demon, and knowing he has a place here on Team Free Will – Crowley realizes he no longer has a reason not to complete the cure.

And in the last hour of the cure, with Dean almost entirely restored to himself, the hunter understands the demon better than ever before. Tells him, one of these days, it’s going to be Crowley in this chair, the cure coursing through him, the three of them gathered around him, supportive. And Crowley knows he’s right. It’s no longer a question of if – only when.

Once they’ve completed the demon cure, the boys set about removing the Mark, with Rowena’s help. And removing the Mark unleashes the Darkness in the world. In season 11, the Darkness should have been something much more insidious, and dangerous. A force which slithers into people, bolsters the innate darkness that is in everyone, turning people into their worst selves. And it controls demons utterly. They are mostly formed of the Darkness, after all.

And for Crowley and the cure, “when” is now. It is that, or fear turning on the people who used to teasingly ensnare him in “just one more case,” who would embrace him as one of them if only he’d allow it. And now, he’s finally ready for that.

#spn #crowley #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #headcanon run amok #multimuse #spn ficlet #this thing just took on a life of its own #happy sulphuric saturday

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margarethelstone · 3 years

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Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears | Chapter 9

Chapter 9 / Read on AO3!

So it was true.

He hadn't misheard her.

Just...

"What on earth?" he asked no one in particular, his eyes raised to the sky and his hand pressed against his forehead. "How could she do that? Why would she? And now, when it's her last chance to participate in the school tournaments, when she was so determined to compete with the Queen for the title... Just what is that idiot thinking?"

He inhaled deeply, trying to think of anything that might have been the cause of Chihaya's decision. Again, if he'd been his normal self, he would have solved that riddle in an instant – now, however, his mind was blank, all rational thought shoved away by the astonishment that had fallen upon him just now.

Life was just becoming too easy, wasn't it?

"Are you sure she meant it?" he turned back to Kana again after a short while. "You said it was because of her studying, but I really can't imagine Chihaya changing her priorities like that. Not for good, anyway."

"I know it seems absurd but she was serious about it. In fact, I don't think I have ever seen her so determined in my life, as difficult as it is to imagine," the girl in front of him answered dejectedly. "She kept reassuring us that she still loved karuta and that she would always come back to playing it. She made us promise that we would still work hard during her absence and then in turn she swore that she would always be there for us, whenever we might need help or advice, or even just someone to encourage us when things will seem too hard. But even with all that, she wouldn't let us convince her that her being our Captain – or even just a regular member of the club – had always been of more meaning than any advice she might give us. She just wouldn't budge.

"And we all knew that she had every right to do so. We know what her academic skills are and that she needs to put more effort than some to just score decently. It's only natural that she might want to shift her focus a little so close to the exams, even if it's not something you would normally expect of her. Only..."

"Only what?" Taichi asked eagerly, even though he felt like he already knew what Kanade was going to say.

"Only that no matter how much she talked about it and how good her arguments were, it still seemed like all of this was an excuse rather than a reason for her to leave."

For once, his intuition was on point.

Because of course it was nothing but an excuse. Even if he still wasn't ready to guess – to admit that he had guessed from the start – the real reason for Chihaya's decision, it was obvious that the justification she had used to explain it was a fake one. Even if he hadn't known all that he did, even if he hadn't known her for as long and as well as he had, there was one thing that he was he was utterly, absolutely sure of:

Ayase Chihaya would never have left the karuta club if her bad grades had been the sole reason for it.

No way in hell that she would.

And now, he actually did know quite a lot.

On one hand, he felt arrogant believing that it really might have been because of him that she had made up her mind to leave. For so long he'd lived his life convinced that karuta was the one thing Chihaya cherished the most, to the degree where she had prioritised it not only over her duties, but her social life and even relationships, as well. The talk they'd had a little more than a week ago had surely corrected some of his views, however, it still was a week of enlightenment against a lifetime of belief... A lifetime of thinking that she simply couldn't care about him enough to make a sacrifice this grand, especially when it was of no use anyway.

On the other, all the clues he'd got were just too unambiguous to think of it as just a mere coincidence.

Besides, the useless part of it was exactly what made it probable in Chihaya's case.

"Did she say anything else?" he asked wearily at last, channelling all of his determination into this one simple question, much in the same way Kana had while answering his previous one. "When you tried to persuade her to stay, did she respond with anything other than what you just told me about?"

Again, Kanade denied with a firm shake of her head. "No. She just continued to assure us that this was a decision she'd made and that it wasn't a hasty one. She said she knew it was sudden and that for that it might seem rash, but that she really had thought it through... Though when exactly she might have found the time to do that was a mystery. Still, she repeated that, over and over again, until we had no choice but to accept it. She kept apologising, too, for not letting us know in advance."

"Didn't she though?" Taichi wondered out loud. "Were there really no signs that she might be thinking about leaving?" he added somewhat desperately.

"Nothing she would say. She came to the meetings as always until one day, she didn't. Or rather, she did come, only to say that she was resigning."

It was the first time during this conversation when Taichi heard a hint of irritation ringing in Kana's voice in addition to the sadness present in it almost from the start. Or perhaps it wasn't irritation but disappointment that he discerned now? A quiet reproach Chihaya had earned not by handling things poorly, but by refusing to share her troubles with those meant to be her friends?

An edginess that could only have grown so strong because of the care and devotion behind it.

Was this how his former club members felt about him, too, and only chose to hold back so that they wouldn't hurt him further?

Well, even if, it wasn't the time to be worrying about it.

Right now, he needed answers.

As many as he could get.

"This isn't right," he said, his words muffled by his hand that was once again pressed against his face. "And it doesn't make sense. There must have been something... Something that would suggest she was preparing to leave. Something in her behaviour or her tone, or... I don't know. But if she really had been thinking about it earlier, like she said she had, then surely, it must've affected her somehow."

His brow furrowed under his fingers, the tips of which he now dug into his skin unwittingly. The cogs in his brain were turning, too, as he tried to imagine Chihaya's conduct during those few meetings that she had attended. There couldn't have been many; there simply hadn't been enough time for it between his own resignation and hers.

And he simply couldn't create a vision in which Chihaya would not act suspiciously.

She had always worn her heart on her sleeve, whether it was excitement or worry or fear that she felt. To think that she would come to practice while considering her retirement and behave casually...

That just didn't match her character at all.

"You're an observant person, Oe-san," he muttered after another moment. He knew she was still watching him and he also supposed that she could easily guess what exactly was going through his mind right now, and therefore, he didn't even try to hide his confusion this time. "If Chihaya behaved any differently than before, as I'm sure she did, you certainly didn't miss it. You've picked up on lesser hints," he added, a weary smiled curling his lips again. "So please, don't hide it from me. Unless it's something she asked you not to tell directly-"

"She didn't say anything like that," Kana interrupted him. "But as I said, she didn't really say anything more than what we've already talked about. She wouldn't talk about it."

"Then please tell me what you saw."

Kanade didn't answer him immediately. She looked down again, instead, although this time Taichi noticed that it was neither abashment nor cautiousness that had prompted this little action of hers.

Rather, she appeared thoughtful, as if she'd been trying to recall her own memories from a little less than a month ago, and perhaps to decide which of her observations were actually worth speaking of. He didn't rush her. He didn't tell her to just share everything with him, either, allowing her to pick the parts she deemed valuable and dispose of those she found harmful or futile.

As much as he yearned for all the information he could get, he still had enough reason left in him to understand that he didn't need all of it.

If there was one person that knew what he should hear, it was Kanade.

"I saw her lose her drive," she uttered at last, her eyes still firmly at the ground under her feet. "I saw her come to practice and follow the usual routine with none of the enthusiasm she normally would have shown. I saw her play matches against the first years and nearly lose, because her mind was clearly on other things. They thought she was going easy on them and we let them believe that, but all of the older members knew that she would never do that purposely. And then I heard-"

She stopped short in the middle of the sentence. At this point, Taichi thought his heart would jump out of his chest from the suspense, now only made worse by the barely commenced phrase; but again, he managed to hold himself back, only silently praying that his companion would finish her thought eventually.

After all, she wouldn't have cut herself off like this for some meaningless news.

"I actually heard her say something, too," she chose to finish in the end, a decision for which Taichi was exceedingly grateful. "It wasn't anything she said to me – or to anyone else really – so I probably wasn't supposed to hear it in the first place. In fact, I don't think she even realised that she was saying it out loud, so it feels sort of unfair to focus on it, much less to relay it to you now... But I think you should know!" she exclaimed unexpectedly, raising her gaze to meet Taichi's, her eyes sparkling with resolve. "Maybe I'm wrong and shouldn't tell you after all. Or maybe it doesn't even mean anything and I'm just making a big deal of it unnecessarily. I certainly don't know what Chihaya-chan might have meant, but... but..."

"But maybe I will," Taichi concluded the statement for her. "Is that what you're trying to say?"

Kana nodded firmly.

"Alright. Let's hear it then."

And so she told him. No longer sparing the details, she recalled the one time in the clubroom after the practice was done and the team was getting ready to leave. When they all cleaned and put away the cards and when the first-years showered them with questions, the excitement shining in their eyes as they jumped from one to another, unable to decide whom of their seniors they should ask first and what their inquiry should be about.

She told him how Chihaya had been the only member that had been asked none, simply because she was still kneeling on the mat.

How she had stayed that way for a long while after her match had come to an end, leaning over her cards as if she'd been revising her game, motionless and focused and successfully fooling everyone that this was exactly what she'd been doing. How they let her be, waving a hand at her dismissively at first, deciding to shift their attention to the inquisitive youngsters instead.

And then she told him about the one thing that interested him most. One to which Kana evidently was the only one privy.

"She said that all the cards were black to her," she said straightforwardly. "No, not said. More like, she mumbled it under her breath, so quietly that I wasn't even sure at first that I'd heard her correctly. But she repeated it once, and then once more. They are black to me too, now. And then I knew I hadn't misheard."

It was Taichi who kept silent now, although unlike Kana, he did not look away while doing so. Quite the opposite: his eyes had not left his friend's face since the moment she'd started her tale, and he surely wasn't going to shift his gaze now. Although she didn't know it, she was an anchor to him now. With her kind, supportive expression, with all the care he knew she had for him, he used her as a pillar now, too, while his mind reeled with images of what Kanade had just described. The implications her story had brought.

The hard truth he didn't think possible and yet one that he had no choice but to accept.

It was all so ridiculous.

Really. It was absurd and wrong, and surreal. It fit perfectly with the rest of the puzzle, the one missing piece that confirmed and added meaning to all the rest, while at the same time it screamed crazy and unbelievable and nuts. It was the knowledge she'd shared with him that appeared absolutely ludicrous, and yet he still couldn't think of it as anything but natural. It was insane.

And he didn't feel particularly lucid, either.

He felt like squatting on the ground, or maybe downright falling onto his knees, with his hands buried in his hair as he pondered over the foolishness of it. He didn't know whether he wanted to groan or sigh, or maybe rock with laughter, that due to its obvious mirthlessness would only have been seen as hysterical.

Perhaps Kana had been wrong after all, and had made a mistake by telling him that last part, for as of now, he surely wasn't ready to deal with it.

"Damn it, Chihaya," he grumbled eventually, as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "All of these years of playing with poems and you still can't come up with your own metaphors. And you want to be a teacher?"

He took a deep breath before lowering his hand and turning sideways, his eyes fixing on the horizon beyond the glass door next to him. He could sense Kana's stare on his countenance, but didn't respond in kind.

"Of all the girls that walk this earth, all the airheads and maniacs and pretty-faces I had to fall for the one who's all three at once," he mused quietly instead. "Of all people I care about, I need to let go of the one that's most difficult to release. The one girl I couldn't forget if I tried."

"Mashima-san," Kanade countered. "I don't think the qualities you've just mentioned have anything to do with it. You don't love Chihaya-chan for her looks, do you? And it's that love that makes it difficult."

"No, you're right, I don't. But all they are a part of who she is," Taichi replied without missing a beat. "All of the qualities I mentioned are. And of course, there are a lot more, too. Still... I feel like it might have been easier if her personality was a little different in those particular aspects, you know?"

"How so?"

"Because then I wouldn't feel like I need to look after her," he said, his eyes shifting to her. "Look, I know she's strong. I know she can take care of herself and doesn't really need me in the way I wished she did. Even with all that, however, I can't help but worry about the times when she does need someone. Even just in high school, there were so many situations when her attitude could have been disastrous, because she couldn't be bothered to consider it from more than one angle, or because she didn't even know that she should.

"It's just... you don't know how difficult it is to stay away from her now," he added in a voice that cracked just a little. "To keep my distance when I see her struggle with something. Only today I had to restrain myself from walking over to her during the lunch break, because she seemed to be terribly under the weather, and I really might have done it if Nishida hadn't got to her first. Even though I know it's not what I should do or what she wants... It's just hard."

The gulp that he took was painful against his tightening throat, but Taichi paid it no mind.

"And it's only going to be worse now that I know about her leaving the club," he continued stubbornly. "Even right now, all I can think of is how I want to run to the library and see her, if only to tell her what I think of that decision of hers. It's stupid, so I won't do it. Still, it won't change the fact that I will want to, and that it won't fade away with time."

"But what does it have to do with Chihaya-chan's character?"

"Only that if I were used to thinking of her as a rational, responsible human being, then maybe stepping aside and letting her live her life wouldn't be this difficult. I wouldn't feel the need to interfere, because I wouldn't be used to doing it. And then it would be easier to reconcile with the fact that I'm not as indispensable as I once thought."

He chanced a glance at her then, a small, sad smile tugging on his lips. He knew what Kanade was going to say next, how she was going to contradict his words; and he didn't mind. After all, the few times when he had actually allowed himself to be vulnerable had always been shared with his (now former) co-members, and it was thanks to them being as helpful and trustworthy as they were.

Yes, that was exactly the word he would use to describe them.

Even with all his fears and all his barriers that he had raised along the years, he still had faith that they would not let him down or reject him, no matter what mistakes he might make.

The only people in the world that made him feel safe.

"Chihaya-chan surely wouldn't say that about you," he heard Kanade answer, much as he'd expected of her. "You are important to her. Even if not in every field, she does need you. And I think you understand that, too. You’d better."

Taichi's smile turned a little warmer.

"I do now," he replied, mindful to emphasise the last word properly. "It wasn't always obvious, but I suppose I'm wiser now, so that's something to be glad about. Even if it still doesn't seem like enough. Maybe it never will."

"But?" Kanade asked. "There's a but coming, isn't there?"

"But it's nothing to be worrying about now," he said, straightening up. "It won't change anything. I know what I must do now, even if it seems nearly impossible at times. Even though it never seems appealing. It's the right thing to do, however, and the only one I am actually certain of at the moment."

The look Kana gave him was sceptical, to say the least. "And by the right thing, do you mean staying away from her?" she asked. "Do you really believe that's the path you should choose?"

"It's the best I could think of and trust me, I've thought about it a lot. I need time. We both do, I think. And... since Chihaya is actually staying aloof... it seems best to use that opportunity and test out my hypothesis. Heaven knows it would be even harder if she did look for my company."

Kanade's gaze only turned more disbelieving, but she said nothing. And Taichi was glad, for he knew that whatever she might say to him now, no matter how wise or logical, would be disregarded by him in an instant. Not because he was free of doubt, like his words might suggest, but because the uncertainty was still there, and he couldn't let it take over him.

Although, there was also one thing he had no doubts about.

Whatever it might have looked like, however much he might have appeared to crave Chihaya's interest, he really didn't want her to come after him again, much less if it were to ask him to come back.

After all, the only reason why their talk last week hadn't gone south immediately was because she wasn't trying to do that.

Not like when...

"Anyway, as I said, there's no point in thinking about it now," he added resolutely, stubbornly refusing to accept this new direction his mind had shown. "Whether I'm right or wrong, only time can tell now. What I do know for sure, though, is that I've kept you long enough, so I won't anymore. Go to Chihaya, and then go to the practice. Tell everyone I say hi," he threw in as casually as he could, too. "And that I, too, am expecting them to work hard. Who knows, maybe if everything goes right, I'll come to cheer for you at the nationals."

"The regionals, you mean?" Kanade asked with a weak, resigned smile.

"I mean what I say," Taichi persisted. "And I say what I mean. You guys can still do it, especially now that Hokuo's best players have graduated. I don't think they even have an A-class player anymore... And you have two, right?"

"Yes, we do. I wasn't aware you knew. How?"

"Let's just say that Nishida was pretty shaken by seeing Tamaru Midori in the clubroom for the first time."

Taichi was happy to see Kanade let out a chuckle, even if she was clearly trying to stifle it. Then she sighed, her eyes shifting towards the wall clock opposite of her and then back to him. He gave a little nod. He understood.

"Really, go to her," he urged gently. "I have my own business to take care of, too. Thank you for the chat though, I really needed it."

"Same here. I'm happy we could talk."

She gave him one final smile and turned, waving her hand sheepishly in the process. Taichi returned the gesture and the expression alike, and then turned around himself, setting off towards the teacher's office, where he'd been supposed to show up much earlier no doubt.

He was not going to forget his task this time.

He only hoped that Taeko-sensei was still waiting for him there.

#Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears #chihayafuru #taichihaya #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #making art for this chapter was sooo much fun #it looks a little more like a manga now #right? RIGHT?#also it's been a horrible week so if you could comment on this one i will be so happy

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mediaeval-muse · 3 years

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Book Review

These Violent Delights. By Chloe Gong. New York: Margaret K. McElderry Books, 2020.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction

Part of a Series? Yes, These Violent Delights #1

Summary: The year is 1926, and Shanghai hums to the tune of debauchery. A blood feud between two gangs runs the streets red, leaving the city helpless in the grip of chaos. At the heart of it all is eighteen-year-old Juliette Cai, a former flapper who has returned to assume her role as the proud heir of the Scarlet Gang—a network of criminals far above the law. Their only rivals in power are the White Flowers, who have fought the Scarlets for generations. And behind every move is their heir, Roma Montagov, Juliette’s first love…and first betrayal. But when gangsters on both sides show signs of instability culminating in clawing their own throats out, the people start to whisper. Of a contagion, a madness. Of a monster in the shadows. As the deaths stack up, Juliette and Roma must set their guns—and grudges—aside and work together, for if they can’t stop this mayhem, then there will be no city left for either to rule. Perfect for fans of The Last Magician and Descendant of the Crane, this heart-stopping debut is an imaginative Romeo and Juliet retelling set in 1920s Shanghai, with rival gangs and a monster in the depths of the Huangpu River.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, blood, gore

Overview: I love the premise of this book. A Romeo and Juliet retelling? Set in 1920s Shanghai? Sign me up! There was so much to love about These Violent Delights: the setting, the characters, the prose, the complexity of the social and political situation... so why didn’t I rate this book higher? Well, despite all the things I loved, I didn’t love the pacing and the plot. In my opinion, Gong had the tendency to kill a lot of suspense and over-explain things, which not only made the main plot feel slow, but I felt like I was being told a lot of things about characters instead of shown. Thus, it was hard for me personally to absorb the significance of things and become emotionally invested. Overall, though, These Violent Delights is an ambitious book, and I look forward to reading the sequel.

Writing: From the first page of the prologue, I was hooked on Gong’s way of describing the look and feel of Shanghai. I love the way she describes settings, using vivid imagery and almost poetic phrases to evoke feelings of seediness and poverty. Gong ensures that her prose doesn’t get too purple, however, so I think she overall strikes a nice balance between being literary and being accessible.

I do, however, think that Gong had the tendency to tell rather than show when it came to descriptions of the characters’ backstories, motivations, or other things, such as the bloodfeud between the gangs. We are told, for example, that there is a bloodfeud, and we get scenes where gang members bristle at the sight of one another, but we don’t really have any scenes where the bloodfeud serves as a major antagonist or threatens characters in a real, tangible way. Juliette’s and Roma’s pasts also don’t feel very laden with pathos, and I got the impression that we were supposed to feel sympathetic without really seeing how their pasts continue to affect them in the present. For example, we’re told that Roma’s mother was killed by Scarlets, but Roma barely ever thinks about her, doesn’t have any longing for her, etc. Perhaps some flashbacks would have helped make these pasts feel more impactful, or maybe a change in the way characters think and act, but as it stands, I didn’t feel like much of the violence was really “present,” so to speak, because everyone who dies isn’t really given a real presence in the novel.

I also think Gong had the tendency to interrupt the flow of her story by inserting unneeded descriptions or background information at inopportune moments. For example, when Roma and Juliette are running from the scene of a crime at one point, they agree to meet up at a restaurant nearby, and Gong proceeds to give us a paragraph on what that restaurant is like. It has no real significance to the action - the characters don’t really spend a lot of time there, and it never comes up again. As a result, we get some descriptive or expositional passages in the middle of a scene, which I think really slows down the book’s pace and removes a sense of urgency. In other words, form didn’t match function in places where it really mattered.

Lastly, I think Gong over-wrote some of her passages to the extent that the reader was being told things that could have been inferred. We would read, for example, passages where Gong would tell us why a character was speaking quietly or why a character was acting in a certain way, and some of those things would be obvious from context. I think Gong could have benefitted from pulling back a little bit and letting readers piece together some things on their own.

Plot: This book mainly follows Roma and Juliette, to heirs to Shanghai’s two most notorious gangs, as they track down a monster which has been causing a mysterious madness to sweep across the city. In my opinion, this madness/monster plot was a little weak - not only did I feel like the mystery itself wasn’t very clever, but I didn’t get the sense that the madness was truly a threat. As I mentioned above, violence doesn’t really have a tangible impact on our named characters - the gangs aren’t shown to suffer much from the impact on their operations (Juliette doesn’t have to make do with less income, for example, and she doesn’t seem all that connected to the common resident of Shanghai to be altruistic) and even if we just accept that Roma and Juliette want to solve the mystery to prove something to their fathers, I didn’t feel like I cared enough about their statuses in the gang to want them to succeed or fail. To solve this problem, I think I would have liked to see more stakes; if they fail, would the gangs be entrusted to more violent people who would do more harm than good? If they fail, would they be chased out of town or sent away? Something a bit more urgent, I think, to show us that. Granted, wanting to impress their fathers is a good motivation, but I wanted more urgency.

Characters: Juliette, our primary heroine, is perhaps the most well-developed character in this book. She’s the heir to the most powerful gang in Shanghai, but despite the nominal security of her title, she has to prove herself worthy because A.) she’s a woman, and B.) she spent a lot of time in America, which makes her too Western for her people’s standards, yet too Chinese for the Europeans living in the city. She’s also hot-blooded and impulsive, which gets her into some trouble (a flaw that I think Gong wrote well, as it felt like Juliette was being ruthless out of some sense of insecurity). I really enjoyed her as a character, and I think Gong wrote her well.

Roma, our primary hero and Juliette’s love interest, is somewhat less interesting. He has some qualities that seem good on paper: he’s an expert with a firearm and isn’t enthusiastic about violence. He also cares deeply for his sister and has a complicated relationship with his father. However, he didn’t have the same level of complexity as Juliette. He didn’t have any convictions about why he and his gang deserved to be in Shanghai, nor did his family’s history with the Bolsheviks seem to influence the way he responded to the communist uprising. I wanted a little more from him, and I wanted to be shown why Juliette was in love with him (other than their history and, supposedly, Roma’s ability to “really see” her).

Supporting characters were hit or miss. I really liked Rosalind and Kathleen, and I loved the dynamics they brought to the story. As sisters and cousins to Juliette, they have a complicated relationship with the Scarlet Gang - they’re family, but not family enough to have true power or protection. I liked that the sisters responded differently to this situation; Kathleen seems more desperate to do whatever Juliette asks, while Rosalind feels that people like her have to deal with all the fallout of the Cai’s actions. Benedikt and Marshall, Roma’s companions, also had a nice dynamic; Marshall is somewhat outgoing while Benedikt was reserved, and the two brought out new behaviors in the other that made me think they have a budding m/m romance. However, I didn’t really understand their motivations enough to feel invested in their stories. They felt more like sidekicks than characters in their own right - they wandered around Shanghai doing errands for their gang, but didn’t really seem integral in ways other than that.

Antagonists were somewhat bland, in my opinion. Tyler, a hot-headed Cai who wants to be the heir instead of Juliette, weaves in and out at convenient moments, inserting tension at random moments that didn’t seem to build on one another. I would have liked a more sustained storyline where he is constantly interfering and competing with Juliette, perhaps to raise the stakes. For example, if he had also been working to track down the monster, and the two had had more confrontations about their progress along the way, Juliette’s success might be a little more urgent. Dmitri, another hot-headed wannabe heir on the White Flower side, is barely present and doesn’t feel like a threat. I would have liked to see the same thing be done with him: have him investigating the mystery, but in a way that opposes how Roma does things (perhaps a way that exacerbates the blood feud). Even the people directly involved with the monster plot seemed to be stock characters, and I wasn’t entirely convinced that they were formidable opponents for our protagonists.

Romance: For a Romeo and Juliet retelling, I was surprised that the romance (or the relationship, at the very least) wasn’t more of a focus in this book. I guess if the book hadn’t been marketed that way, my thoughts might be different, but then again, many of the names are deliberately crafted to resemble the names in Shakespeare’s play. Even so, I think I liked that the romance didn’t take center stage all the time, as it allowed Gong to give us a retelling that wasn’t just the same plot points as the original play.

However, I definitely would have liked more tension or angst in the scenes when Roma and Juliette were together. We’re told (rather than shown) that the two have a complicated history, but when they’re working together, there’s no real chemistry that convinced me that the two still had feelings for one another. Juliette tells us in her POV that Roma sees her and understands her, but other than that, I didn’t get the sense that there was any passion or emotional intimacy between the two - just history. I would have liked to see more conflicted emotions in the places when Juliette or Roma are forced to interact so that there is a stronger buildup to the more intense emotions later in the book. But as it stands, the revival of their romantic feelings felt rather sudden, and I didn’t quite understand why the two were in love.

Themes: One major thing that I think Gong did really well was convey her passion about the state of Shanghai during the time period, especially when talking about politics and colonialism. Gong would have her characters meditate on the conflict between nationalists and communists, as well as the presence of Westerners and other foreigners who don’t bother to respect or engage with Chinese culture (or language). For example, Juliette often remarked upon how she felt like a stranger in her own country, and a lot of the ways she had to navigate racism and sexism reflected that. In my opinion, these themes brought out the best in Gong’s writing, as I could tell that she was invested in them and had a lot to say.

TL;DR: These Violent Delights has an intriguing premise and a well-developed heroine, and Gong is at her best when writing about these things while pushing back against colonialism in 20th century Shanghai. However, I ultimately didn’t feel like I could get emotionally invested in the gang dynamics, the romance, or the mystery itself, mainly because of the writing style and the lack of explicit stakes.

#book reviews

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gojosatoruwifey · 3 years

Text

Summary: Yugen, a Third Year student from Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. After a year, the three Third Years, including her, finally went home to Japan and while the two are either resting and catching up with their parents. Yugen chose to stay in the College for a while to accompany Shoko Ieri and study under her. So, what's the other reason she came back?

Characters: Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kugisaki Nobara, Gojo Satoru, Shoko Ieri, Geto Suguru, Masamichi Yaga ,Zenin Maki, Panda, Inumaki Toge, Okkotsu Yuuta, Yugen Akihisa, Ishida Den, Mizuki Shina, Hakari ,Zenin Mai, Todo Aoi, Utahime Iori

Genre: Supernatural,Fantasy, Slice of Life, Crack, Fluff, Action

Warnings: Curse, Swearing, Grammar Errors

The morning sun in Tokyo is scorching and much fiery when walking with the busy streets of the city and the crowds filling up the roads on their way to their business as well as the vehicles' beeping noise, and the drivers waiting for the green light to appear on the stoplight on the sidewalks where people passed through the pedestrian lanes. Not too long after, the color changed and the wheels continued to spin on the cement.

However, the heat didn't much affect the Japanese traditional buildings on the side of the city where the well-known Sorcerer resides and is known to be the pillar of Jujutsu for many generations.

Inside the classroom built the same as the mentioned building, four individuals are discussing what are they going to do for their lessons. The breeze accompanied by the sun made the room pleasant and the cool scent of the trees and earth made it more ethereal.

“Sensei! Are we going to exorcise Curses today?” The pink-haired one asked, his right hand raising to catch the white-haired Sorcerer's attention. The said teacher with a blindfold covering half of his face grinned upon hearing his question. Seeing this expression, the trio of the First Years of Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College interpreted this as exorcising Curses again on the fifth day of the first week.

His answer made them surprised.

“Nope!” Gojo crossed his arms against his chest as he leaned on the desk of the teacher’s table. Despite having the dark fabric on his eyes, Gojo can see them perfectly and he can tell that his students are getting impatient and itching to know what they are going to do. The wind outside of their classroom entered and it swayed their hair on the side as Gojo blinked underneath his blindfold.

“Checkups happen every fifth day of the month and our school doctor, Shoko Ieri, is currently not here.” Gojo paused before continuing, “Instead, one of the Third Years is gonna check on you three.”

“I thought the Third Years were suspended?” The dark-haired boy beside the pink one furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at Gojo’s announcement.

“Heh, ask questions to the Third Year herself.”

‘He’s not even bothering to explain’ … the three students thought.

“She just got back from her mission with her teammates. So ask her as much as you want.” Gojo walked in front of them as he led them to the Clinic’s Office not far away from the classroom they were staying earlier.

“And oh, I forgot to add. She finishes her mission from…”

“From...?” Itadori and Kugisaki trailed as they stared at Gojo grinning from ear to ear.

“...South Korea!” Gojo exclaimed.

‘South… Korea!?’ The two are trying to process the bomb that their Sensei said then as if the place warped into the bustling city of Seoul, the capital of South Korea. Kugisaki imagined herself on her fashion clothes trying the famous cosmetics product that the mentioned country can offer, the beautiful shades of lipsticks and foundations as well as the Han River and the Seoul Tower she often sees from the K-dramas she watched back from the days. Meanwhile, Itadori was busy in his dreamland with his favorite idols he listens to on his playlist.

“Who’s the Third Year, Sensei? Since it’s a girl, it’s not Hakari-senpai?” Fushiguro, the one who had met the seniors of the school, asked. Remembering the Third Year Male student, Hakari. Gojo craned his neck to glance at Fushiguro.

“The eldest of the Three Espada.” Those words are enough to make Fushiguro halt from walking as his eyes widened in astonishment. He tried to open his mouth to ask but he remained speechless.

“Fushiguro?” Itadori called out to him. Kugisaki also stopped in her tracks to look at the dark-haired student, confused by his sudden behavior.

‘That woman?!’ an image of a black-uniformed girl appeared on his mind. Fushiguro marched his way to the wooden sliding door a few steps away from them and glided it open loudly. His companions watched him storm to the office.

“Have he met her?” Gojo placed his palm to his nape. Kugisaki and Itadori threw him puzzled looks.

“Yugen-senpai!” He yelled as soon as his light green eyes landed on the familiar small figure trying to place a plastic jar on her hand to the third row of the high shelf. His shouting startled the poor girl when the plastic fell from her grasp.

“Eh?” Yugen gaped at Fushiguro.

“Your deduction before you left is right. Thank you for warning me.” Fushiguro bowed at her, still standing in the doorway. Gojo, Itadori, and Kugisaki caught up to him, standing behind the bowing Fushiguro.

“No problem, Megumi.” the mahogany haired girl smiled at him. “Gojo-sensei will try to steal the cupcakes I baked that day, right? It’s a good thing, you immediately hid them or he will eat it.”

“Ack! So you did hide them from me, Megumi!” Gojo looked at Fushiguro in betrayal.

“And you planned to eat the cupcakes without him knowing,” Yugen added as she picked up the jar on the wooden floor. “The plan worked and we exposed Gojo-sensei. When Den and Shina are here, I’ll collect the money they bet.”

“Yu-chan, you sneaky midget.”

“Revenge for forcing me to eat that huge parfait that you had last year!”

“I thought I could buy it for one person only!”

“That was the problem, Sensei. That dessert was meant to be for couples and it was Valentine’s Day!”

“You lived near the area. That’s why I called you.”

“ I have to take the subway and do you know how many medicines I swallowed? It was 3!”

“I paid for your medical expenses!”

“It was not enough to let me forget the pain.” Yugen glared at Gojo who shifted his head away in guilt.

“How come the topic switched from cupcakes to money?” Fushiguro deadpanned.

Kugisaki nudged him. “Is she the one that will check on us? Who is she, by the way?”

“Yugen-senpai... is the eldest out of the Three Espadas. The main reason they were grouped is that they are experts to track intelligent Curses like the Curse you and Itadori fought the other day. Intelligent Curses are annoying. Even though some of them are low Grades, they are still capable of affecting the humans near them.”

“She and Gojo-sensei had a pretty close relationship. She hangs out with him more than the other two Senpais and that’s because her Curse Technique keeps developing and the Principal ordered him to observe her Curse Technique when she is alone on her missions.” Fushiguro added.

“If the two Senpai are with her?” This time, Itadori asked.

“Then they can control her actions.”

“What? Will she go on a rampage if she uses her Curse Technique?” Itadori remembered a manga character that loses his control during his fight with the antagonist on the shounen manga he read during day-offs.

“I can control myself just fine.”

A pair of gloved hands patted Itadori and Kugisaki’s backs as Yugen stood between the two.

“The reason Gojo-sensei observed me is that my Curse Technique is an unknown factor and even I, the User, doesn’t know that much about it.” Yugen gently led the two First Years to the stadiometer beside the bookshelves. “Enough about me! Shall we start measuring your heights?”

“Yugen-senpai, Gojo-sensei said that you just got back from your mission on South Korea.” Itadori watched Yugen jot down something about Fushiguro’s heart exam on a piece of paper on the desk. Their check-up didn't take long as the Third Year only wrote their vital signs, general appearance, and lastly, the heart exam where Yugen has to listen to their heartbeats and write to the paper. “What exactly did you do?”

“Ah.” Yugen blinked. “There were some Special Grade Curses on a killing spree and two of them,” she formed her fingers into the letter ‘V’, “...are in South Korea.”

“Did you exorcise it properly?” Gojo asked, moving to sit on the swivel chair which the school doctor, Shoko Ieri, is originally the one occupying the seat. He raised his other leg to rest on his left thigh as Gojo leaned back on the chair.

“Of course.”

"You think I'll let those monsters go?" the mahogany haired girl sighed in defeat. "Speaking of Curses, why did you ask me about being the Vessel that can locate Curses?"

"Oh! I forgot to tell you?"

Gojo only received a silent stare from Yugen.

"Itadori Yuuji-kun here," The white-haired sorcerer stood up from his seat and placed his hands on the said boy's shoulders. "..ate Sukuna and now, he is the Vessel."

The Third Year hummed in understanding.

"Eh... you must have a superhuman strength to control the King of Curses..."

"You won't believe it, Senpai." Kugisaki scoffed. "The other day, this idiot right here punched a cemented wall like it's nothing!"

Yugen let out a huff in amusement as she smirked. "Did he sustains any injury?"

"Hmmm..." Kugisaki's memory on the first day that she and Itadori fought together flashed on her mind. "...I think he didn't have any."

"Woah! Nice." Yugen turned to Itadori's direction which the said boy is sitting on the vacant bed meant for patients. The pink-haired First-year met her eyes, feeling her gaze boring right into his soul.

"Hey, Yu-chan," Gojo called. "You should be resting, right? Like Shina and Den."

Yugen scrunched her nose. "As soon as I'm done learning Medicine from Shoko-Sensei, the better."

"I'm not talking about that."

"Hm? What are you talking about then?"

"Instead of using the day off to catch up with your family, you directly went here." Gojo's voice lowered into a serious tone that made the First Year turn to him with surprise written on their faces.

Yugen tilted her head to the white-haired Sorcerer's words.

"Why..did you come here?" He asked.

There was a moment of silence as the atmosphere plummeted due to Gojo's sudden serious tone and the certain Third Year remain looking at him in innocence.

'Yugen-senpai didn't even flinch...' Fushiguro thought, light green eyes observing the deafening and silent tension between Gojo and Yugen.

'W-What's happening?' Kugisaki shifting her eyes from side to side where the questioned female is standing.

'Are they gonna fight?' Itadori anticipated.

As if reading his mind, Fushiguro and Kugisaki whipped their heads to him with an intense glare making Itadori feigned ignorance to them.

"I ran away."

Yugen broke the silence.

"Huh?"

"I said I run away from home." Yugen narrowed her eyes to Gojo. "Is that a problem?"

Gojo can't believe that the student he raised half of her life as a Jujutsu Sorcerer and the goody-good shoes little girl image she always shows uttered those words.

'Is she finally on her rebellious phase?!'

"Don't get the wrong idea." Gojo snapped out of his trance as Yugen gazed at him, straight into his concealed eyes. The Third Year dropping the pen on her gloved hand to the table.

"My Godmothers are staying in my family house for weeks and I can't handle their energies." She said in a firm voice. "They are grandmas but they are extremely lively that I can't help go far away from them!"

"Is that it?" Gojo asked. Even though he knows Yugen had a loving family, there was still something fishy when she arrived in Japan.

Yugen only hummed as she turns towards the First Years with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay, Senpai..." Megumi answered.

"How about we grab some lunch?" A certain two perked up from her invitation. "I want to have a bonding time with my Kouhai, is that okay?"

"More than okay, Senpai!" Itadori and Kugisaki leaned into her with childish glee on their eyes. The Third Year seemed satisfied with their acceptance as her lips quirked up again. On the side, Fushiguro is watching the scene before unfold with his usual face yet didn't reject the request.

"Are you going with us, Sensei?" Itadori questioned, quietly waiting for Gojo to go with the students. The white-haired Sorcerer grinned.

"I was planning to drop you three-" the First Years felt a vein popped on their temple. "-to Yugen." then they sighed in relief.

Gojo chuckled. "Then, I will go now. I still have a business to take care of. Bye~!"

With that, he disappeared in a flash with no traces left behind where he was standing. Yugen glance at the trio from the corner of her eyes, "Let's go."

"Is it okay not to do missions today?" Itadori steps back when two children suddenly passed to him. Kugisaki on his left with Fushiguro on her side while the tiny one, Yugen, walked in front.

Kugisaki made a noise of complaint. "Oh, leave it. Sensei has been dumping his missions to us these past few days, this is an opportunity to rest!"

Fushiguro, without looking at Itadori's worried eyes, said. "It's a good thing he didn't give us a mission before he left." It's still unsettling, though.

"Ahem!" Yugen cleared her throat, one arm crossed against her chest, and the free hand-formed into a fist like she's holding a mic. This immediately made the First Year shift their attention to her.

"We're here."

Three set pair of eyes gawked at the sight of the place they never thought they will be. It was like everything was a scene out of a romantic as the people around them faded and they can't hear anything but the hunger taking its claim to their stomach.

It's a BBQ Restaurant.

A grumble escaped on a stomach as Kugisaki embarrassedly clutched her stomach. "I-I never thought I will be hungry this much...!"

"You're not the only one.." Itadori wiped the drool on the corner of his mouth.

Fushiguro is still ogling at the restaurant's nameplate.

Yugen let out an amused, loud laugh. "It's my treat that's why I brought you guys here."

"Senpai!!" the two rejoiced. Once again, Yugen cackled as she slid the door opened. A staff approached them and offered a seat suitable for four. The smoky, alluring scent of meat grilling on the fire with sauce in the eating house made them sigh. Taking their seat, the staff escorting them set up the charcoal as another one come over to them to hand the menu.

"Waah! I can't choose!" Itadori read the choice of meats displayed. "They look so good!"

"Yugen-Senpai, are you okay spending your money on this?" Fushiguro furrowed his eyebrows.

"It's fine, it's fine." Yugen insisted. "Megumi, you should pick whatever you want. I don't mind wasting my money on delicious foods! So, choose anything you want 'cause it's on me!"

"Thank you for coming!"

Yugen smiled as she waved at the staff, the trio saying thank you to the staff, following her after. Walking ahead again, Yugen quietly observed the city she didn't see for half a year since she got the mission. I was lucky to know that the restaurant is still there.

"You mean Yugen-senpai is like a teacher's friend?" She hears Itadori muttered. The two hissed at him at his choice of words, afraid that the Third Year will misunderstand.

"Itadori, you idiot!" Kugisaki covered his mouth to prevent Itadori from speaking.

"Being friends with a teacher is quite intimidating." Yugen blurted. "Hmm...I am more like..an errand girl to them."

"Anyways, why am I in your conversation?"

"We were talking about how Yugen-senpai go to errands for the teachers." Fushiguro is the first to explain. Stuffing his hands in his pocket, his eyes locked with Yugen's eyes looking at him. "Itadori thought you are friends with the teachers."

"Senpai, I'm sorry." Itadori apologized as he clasps his hand together.

"At first, people will also think about it like that," Yugen said, turning her head to Itadori's direction as she grinned. "Should I teach you how to observe like a detective?"

"Woahh!!" stars were surrounding Itadori. "Is that what you do when you work?"

"Of course. It's important to become aware of everything near you to know if Curses were lurking around or when fighting against a Curse, note the Curse's weakness and its ability to counter it." Yugen continued. "Megumi has a sharp sense with that skill."

"I never saw Fushiguro writing a plan," Kugisaki stated. Imagining Fushiguro jot down during mission or assignment like what coaches do in a match.

"No, not like that," Yugen says as she had a hunch about what Kugisaki is thinking. "Being calculative and logical in the situation."

"Oh! like the fight, we first met!" Itadori remembering how Fushiguro acted. "He was quick to rescue."

"That's because the Cursed Object, Sukuna's finger, is there. " Fushiguro grunted. "I can't let a Special Grade like that leave it alone."

"See? Megumi is fit to be like the tactician, just like Den." Yugen mused. "By the way, Den is one of my friends. She asks the Auxiliary Managers what kind of Curse we are going to exorcise or if there are any casualties."

"I thought the tactician is Shina-senpai?" Fushiguro murmured as they turn to a street.

"Shina is the support at the same, the tactician. Usually, we divide the work into combat, the brain, and lastly the healer. The brain is us though Shina is the assigned one. Combat is for Den while I am the healer." Yugen explained. "Since you know, I work under Shoko-Sensei. Not to mention, I am also the backup. If Den can't handle it then that's where I will enter."

"Why Three Espada?" Itadori questioned.

"It was the Principal named that. I still don't know why he gave us that name." Yugen shrugged. At last, the route they are taking is empty with no one around but them. The familiar rustling of the leaves above them protected them from the sunray as the wind blew softly. There is still another one they have to saunter, the last route is where the Jujutsu Tech is located.

"Maybe he thought that you are like Knights?" Kugisaki pondered.

"That's a good rea-"

Thorns darted from the middle of the trees as it keeps shooting with no intention of stopping. Thankfully, the four are quick enough to their feet to evade the attacks coming on their way as the thorns relinquished.

On their fighting stances, Fushiguro formed his hands to the preparation for summoning his Divine Dogs while Kugisaki had her weapons in her hands, Nails between her closed fingers with the other holding the Hammer. On the other side, Itadori and Yugen raised their fists in their faces as they are the ones are unarmed.

"Looks like we have to digest the meat..." Yugen joked, glaring at the disfigured Curse advancing towards them. Coming out from its hideout, the Curse has a huge petal-like curve on its head, the body oozing goo.

'Is it a Grade 3 Curse?' Indigo eyes trailing on the Curse.

"Emerge from the darkness, blacker than the darkness. Purify that which is impure." she chanted.

Another two similar to the Curse approach them to their side which made them cornered. Kugisaki's nails dig on her skin, Fushiguro raising his guard as Itadori tightened his fist.

"Counter!"

At the Third Year's command, they charge to the Curses as Kugisaki's Nails floated in front of her with her Cursed Energy flowing; pounding the Nails using her Hammer, it aimed to the Curse's head and blow up into slimy pieces.

Closing her eyes with a pleasing smile. 'Flawless.'

Meanwhile, Fushiguro let the White Divine Dog lunge on the Curse from jumping above as the Black Divine Dog distracted it from the bottom which made the Curse focused on the Black one; not noticing the two jumping figures above it, Fushiguro elbowed the Curse's petal as the White one began to pluck its eyeballs.

'The rest of its body is liquid, it's best to mess it to the solid part...which is the petal.' The Divine Dogs chew the rest of the Curse's remain.

Launching a heavy blow on a Curse's body from each side, Itadori pummeled the Curse's head with a punch as Yugen strike on its left. The impact vibrates throughout the whole body; just like what happened to Kugisaki and Fushiguro's Curse, it also blew up.

"Did it died?" Itadori murmured. 'Yugen-Senpai's moves are graceful. Is she good in martial arts?'

"Guess not," Yugen replied, catching the slimy pieces trembling and gathering to one spot.

"I thought we exorcised it?" Kugisaki asked.

"Hmm..." Yugen keenly eyeing the Curse transforming into a large body, even bigger than before as the slimes rapidly circling the Curse.

"The Curse needs to be cut into small pieces." She concludes as the First Years listened to her. "I don't care what kind of method it is; dice, cube, or mince. Just make sure it's small so that it's recovery time will be lowered."

"Now, let's exorcise it."

Cursed Energy from Kugisaki continued to flow into the Nails as she draws out more nails from her light colored belt and aiming it at the Transformed Curse on the shoulder's blade; Fushiguro used the Curse' immobility for the Divine Dogs to pounce on the Curse's torso and limbs as Fushiguro leap to the Curse with a fast speed, his fist slamming to the head which Yugen and Itadori landed both kicks and jabs on the Curse's limbs and torso as they resume to slice the Curse into a lump.

Yugen swiftly grabs highway rails on the side, tossing it to Itadori who didn't expect the weapon. Nonetheless, they use the rails to slash it to the Curse; as Fushiguro pulls off one of the huge petals to Kugisaki.

Linking the Curse's petal part on the ground, Kugisaki hammered the Nails into the straw doll on top of the petal, shouting; "Straw Doll Technique: Resonance!"

To wrap it all up, the Curse didn't explode but burned.

"Yey!" Itadori and Yugen high-fived each other as the Third Year also do it with Fushiguro and Kugisaki.

Kugisaki sighed in relief. "It was a good thing I didn't leave my belt."

"Alright, good work, everyone!" Yugen clapped, letting go of the highway-rail.

"Senpai, where did you get that?" Fushiguro seeing the highway-rail that he didn't notice she is holding,

"There." Not too far away from them, the highway-rail that is supposed to protect the passing vehicles is missing. "Don't worry, I know someone that can repair that,"

"For now..." Yugen paused. "..to Jujutsu Tech!"

a/n: This may be sudden but I will be no longer posting Apple of the Eye in my main account and instead, post this here.

i only posted my work here in tumblr (gojosatoruwifey) and in my ao3 account. please report immediately if someone reposted my works on other sites without my permission.

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thirsty-x1 · 4 years

Text

Lesson Learned | Kim Yohan

Request(s):

can you write about yohan in an age gap story? maybe he’s picking up reader from school and he sees her with another one of her classmates whose flirting with her so he teaches her a lesson??? maybe !!

do you think you could write about yohan and reader, with a daddy/little girl dynamic ! i can’t stop thinking about the one video where he slaps his thigh telling wooseok to lay across it :0 yet he does it with his eyes too..... like that man has some dom energy in him, it drives me crazy !! i was thinking maybe they aren’t together but reader has a major crush on him because she’s so shy and submissive,, so maybe seeing him do something to assert his dominance makes her confess the fantasies???

↬ Pairing: Yohan x fem!reader.

↬ Genre: Smut.

↬ Warnings: explicit language, dom!Yohan, sub!reader, daddy/little girl dynamic, spanking, oral sex, fingering, protected sex.

↬ Word Count: 2.3k

↬ A/N: I wasn’t expecting it to turn out like this... I guess that Yohan really gets my inspiration going.

Yohan tapped on the steering wheel whilst driving to the high school, carefully observing around to find a good spot to park. He went a bit earlier, knowing that on the graduation day there would be quite a lot of people, smiling as he stared at the bouquet he had bought filling the companion seat. As he finally found a place, he sat waiting, thinking about all the years you two had been friends.

It started with you two being neighbors when younger, the memory of you running behind him begging him to show his taekwondo skills evoking a chuckle. It had been a long time since you were friends, almost as long as the amount of years that you had been into him. He knew it, of course. Maybe he tended to play dumb, but only because it was more convenient for him to do so. It’s not that he wasn’t into you, just… Not confident enough in being able to pull of the boyfriend role in your life, since he was way more comfortable with just being your best friend. Since you had never confessed to him directly, he decided to not address the situation, partly to keep your relationship the way it was whilst also to not make you feel embarrassed.

He sighed again, a little bit sad that your parents weren’t in the country to pick you up and congratulate you now, although he felt good about the fact that they trusted him enough to let you alone with him. The sound of the bell pulled him out of his thoughts, immediately grabbing the bouquet as he got off the car, waiting in front of the entrance along with some other people. His eyes finally found you, but his happy expression quickly dropped as he noticed you walking pretty close with another guy. A guy that was obviously flirting with you. The second he saw the other giving you a gift, his suspicions were confirmed, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek in order to not throw a scoff at the action. Confessing on the last day? Really? But what annoyed him the most was seeing the shy smile on your face, eyes opening wide before giggling the same way you always did with him.

It annoyed him. Far more than what he would care to admit. It was already bad enough that the guy was trying to hit on you, but having you follow his game… He couldn’t hide the irritation in his face when you finally spotted him, your face suddenly lighting up and running towards him, although he had to admit that he was satisfied at the expression that the guy made when you left him without hesitation.

“So you came~” Yohan nearly gave in at your soft tone, but the anger was stronger.

“Yeah. Congratulations on graduating.” You were taken aback by his cold tone, and he noticed it, but he just couldn’t handle it. He gave you the flowers almost abruptly.

“Thank you, but… is everything alright?” Huh? You didn’t even react to his gift?

“We have to get going quickly. Get in the car.”

There was definitely something off in his attitude, but you couldn’t quite grasp your finger around it. You followed him, turning around to give a little wave as a goodbye to your friend before getting inside the car, furrowing your brows as you heard a little sigh beside you. The ride home consisted in you speaking about your whole day and Yohan listening while clenching his jaw, trying to pay attention to you but his mind was filled with thoughts about you and the guy from before. Since when were you two that close? Had he ever tried more with you? Why would you flirt back if you were into him? It was way too much.

As you arrived to your house, he got out, not waiting for you to invite him in. It wasn’t much like him to do so… Despite knowing each other since forever, he still acted extremely polite. Maybe it was because your parents weren’t around? You didn’t give it much thought before walking right behind him, unlocking the door and getting inside, quickly taking off your blazer and looking for a place to put the flowers he gave you. He observed you the whole time, holding back the impulse to snap at you and trying to calm down. Right when he was about to speak up, you did it first.

“I really love the flowers, they are absolutely beautiful. You always know how to make me happy~” It threw him off, softening slightly before noticing the small box that was on the table.

“Who was the guy from before? I never saw him with you.”

“Huh?” You followed his eyes and gasped when you realized what he meant. “He’s just a friend.”

“A friend that gives you gifts?”

“Yes, like you.”

The comeback was smart and had him biting his tongue, but that didn’t last long. “I know you are into me.”

You froze, giving your back to him. “What are you saying..?”

“Don’t even try to deny it.”

That was it. You left the flowers without arranging them, going upstairs to your room without replying to him, hearing his pressured steps while he repeated “sorry” multiple times. He didn’t hurt you, you knew he had noticed, but did he have to talk about it in a situation like this? Using it against you? It drove you mad, as if he had somehow disrespected your feelings. You were about to close the door on his face but he was stronger, pushing through it easily.

“Fuck you.” You spat the words, his expression showing surprise.

“Excuse me?”

“Fuck you for using my feelings against me. The fuck is wrong with you?” He clenched his jaw, a mix between anger and guilt revolting his insides.

“Watch your words.”

You threw a scoff at him. “As if you did that just now.”

“Why you go around flirting with others if you like me?” His statement lacked any logic.

“Oh, sorry daddy, didn’t know I need your permission to talk with anyone that isn’t you.”

His posture changed. “What did you call me?” You didn’t answer, and he gripped your chin. “Repeat it.”

It was the first time that Yohan treated you like this. Usually he was soft, treating you lovingly as if you were nothing but a younger friend he had to look after, but right now all that gentle touch was gone.

“D-daddy…”

“Tsk, of course you would be into something like that.” He let you go, sitting on your bed and patting on his lap. You walked towards him, unsure of what he asked for. “Punishment.” The sole word sent a cold shiver down your spine, but the look in his eyes indicated he wasn’t playing around and his patience was low this time.

“Y-Yohan–”

“Do you want this? Answer yes or no. If you don’t, then I’ll leave right now.”

You hesitated for a minute before timidly laying down on his thighs, trying to lower your skirt until he swat them away, pulling up the fabric and exposing your ass, getting you flustered at the action. He caressed your skin, your heart beating faster and awaiting the first spank, but instead he went lower, rubbing your core over your underwear, chuckling at the wetness that was pooling.

“Really? I didn’t make anything yet.” He teased you, feeling how you started relaxing under his touch, whimpering when his hand suddenly impacted against one of the cheeks. “Don’t flirt with others.”

“But I didn’t–!” Another spank interrupted you.

“Don’t speak until I tell you to.” You nodded and felt another hit. “Answer with words.”

“Yes, daddy.”

He hummed approvingly and simply continued, enumerating the reasons why you deserved each one of the spanks reaching to fifteen before stopping and feeling the in-between of your legs again, smirking as he noticed how this time your juices trespassed the fabric of your panties.

“So dirty… if I knew you were going to react like this, I would have taught you a lesson earlier, I know how many times I’ve wanted to do so.” The confession made you squeeze your thighs together, and he laughed again. “What do you want to do now, baby?”

The affectionate name didn’t match his sinful actions. “C-can I suck you off?” The boner he had was pretty evident against your lower stomach, and the thought that it was punishing you what turned him on was affecting you greatly.

“So obedient all of a sudden… Get on your knees.” You followed his commands without doubting, looking up to him with innocent eyes as he placed his thumb on your bottom lip. “Open that pretty mouth for me, doll.”

He pulled out his cock out, stroking it as he looked down on you, eyes getting hazy as you did what he said. Even if he was letting out this side of him, he was still careful, noticing by your whole demeanor that this was indeed your first time. He indicated you how to do it, controlling your pace and becoming patient out of the blue. In a certain way, your innocence made him feel even more turned on. When you licked the underside of his head, you noticed how his hips bucked up, his eyes closing as his mouth let out a sigh, so you did it again, one of his hands yanking your hair as a warning but you kept at it anyway until he pulled you apart, a string of saliva connecting you with him.

“Is that how you want to play? Bed, on your back, now.” He hid his smile, seeing how you did it before taking off his shirt and hovering over your body. “Luckily you won’t be needing this uniform anymore.”

And just like that he ripped your shirt open, not caring about the buttons nor about the fabric, staring at your bra and the part of your breasts that showed above it before leaning in and placing open-mouthed kisses in the valley of your chest, sliding up and marking your neck. You could feel his hand traveling up your thigh, making your underwear aside and just when you were trying to get ready, he kissed you. His lips were incredibly soft and plump, molding against yours as he pushed his tongue inside your mouth at the same time one of his fingers entered you, causing you to moan into the kiss. He started fingering you gently, adding a second finger when he felt you were ready for it, scissoring them carefully to stretch you out. Despite the initial awkwardness, you considered sweet of him to take it slow, and this time you were the one to kiss him, tangling your hands in his hair, evoking a grunt from him as he buried his fingers completely inside of you.

“Yohan…” He let this one slide merely because of how fucked out you sounded. “I need you, please.”

How could he say no? You weren’t sure when or from where, but soon he was naked and rolling a condom on. He looked up at you once again while taking off your underwear, pulling the fabric of your skirt up before aligning against your pussy. As soon as you gave him permission, he started pushing, letting you get used to the feeling, taking the opportunity to appreciate the view. It was… strange. Out of all the scenarios he imagined that happening, this one was completely unexpected. Not that he complained, but maybe he would have liked it if it had been a little bit different.

“Is this enough?” The question took you by surprise, making you blink a few times, tears falling down your cheeks from the slight burning in your lower part. You knew what he was talking about, one of your hands coming up to cup his cheek.

“It’s more than that.” He relaxed, and the change in his appearance made you laugh. “You can move now, by the way.”

“Good, I wasn’t going to be able to hold it anymore if you kept looking at me like that.”

Yohan didn’t give you opportunity to ask what he meant as he pulled out almost completely just to enter again slowly, both hissing at the friction. You clenched down on him, and if he had any strength he would have definitely glared at you with a severe expression, but instead he increased his pace, the lewd sounds of your wetness and your moans filling the room as he fucked you roughly. His thrusts became more precise, trying to find your sweet spot, flinching when you dug your nails into his back, sharply taking in some air before whimpering his name multiple times, that being all he needed to unleash all of his strength.

“C-can I c-come?” Your plea sent shivers to all of his body, smiling despite his breathing being a complete mess.

“Of course, baby, cum for me.”

Soon he was cumming as well, your walls tightening being too much for him to take. He moaned lowly, spilling into the condom and pressing a small kiss against your lips that ended up becoming more passionate that what he intended, pulling apart before chuckling. He was careful to not hurt you as he left your insides, quickly putting on his underwear before going to the bathroom and going back with a warm towel to clean you up, his service making you laugh.

“Thank you.” He simply hummed a response before searching some clean clothes and passing them to you, already used to the pajamas you always wore. “Uh, Yohan?”

“Yes?”

“What does… all this mean?” He seemed confused before smiling, proceeding to explain everything clearly. “Oh, so you were jealous.”

“I was not–” The look you gave him was enough to make him chuckle. “Fine, maybe I was a little bit jealous.”

His arms wrapped around you as he laid down next to you, the warmth of his body making you feel drowsy as you placed your head against his chest, your butt still hurting from the previous punishment which made you remember something.

“Well, lesson learned. But next time it’s my turn.”

He laughed loudly at your words. “Yeah, sure.”

Of course I had to end it with some soft shit, this is Yohan we are talking about.

~Nani

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