Tumgik
#I think I’m far away from myself
rowanhoney · 1 year
Text
Used to be able to identify my breakdowns before or during but now it’s taking me a whiiiiile to realise. I’ll look back on a few months ago and be like wow haha I was not right? I don’t believe in that?
1 note · View note
tsuchinokoroyale · 1 month
Text
More like rad-b-gone lol
#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before I’m like oh wait I can just bonk him lol#thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless#except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5%#so it’s only feasible if he doesn’t do that move…#oh and the “nothing personnel kid” teleport and fast smash can also suck it#him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies I’ve learned to consistently parry in ER 😮‍💨#I tried learning malenia’s parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort 🥴#radagon definitely isn’t the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think he’s like the most fair out of every single one#which is why it’s gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast 🥴#I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes#and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once#like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where#(( outside of gank fights ))#the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death#had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build#and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably#can you tell I’ve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears#I’ve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it#Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to date… dialectic 🥳#excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss#I don’t mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8#so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it 🥳#tsuchi plays games
9 notes · View notes
frecklystars · 2 months
Text
dude my eyes burn every time I blink I need to be smothered in warm safe hugs by all of my f/os until I finally fall asleep
9 notes · View notes
hplonesomeart · 14 days
Text
Tumblr media
HEY. HEY SO UH. SO UPDATE ON THAT SNATCHER ANIMATION I WAS MENTIONING UH JKSJKSJSP
5 notes · View notes
halfelven · 10 months
Text
but the real reason i couldn’t date a straight guy is because they call little prius ugly and hate it because it’s harder to use to commit vehicular manslaughter and simultaneous suicide
8 notes · View notes
maddie-grove · 1 year
Text
As a child, I once threw up into my grandparents’ sink because of a grody medical scene in Karen Hesse’s middle-grade free-verse historical novel Out of the Dust. I almost puked again when I steeled myself up and read it as a teenager, and I might puke again if I read it today. I gave away one of my Goosebumps novels in fourth grade because the cover was too scary (and also because the story wasn’t as good as the cover, lol) (par for the Goosebumps course). I was a total weenie (who also loved reading about grody shit), but I still think kids should basically get to read whatever. Freedom means puking in a sink sometimes.
7 notes · View notes
salsflore · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
#its always the fucking chemistry projects that ruin my life#not ready to go back to school ... getting home late & eating the same food everyday & having less free time & hanging out with the same few#people i honestly! don’t even like that much.. zzz i don’t wanna receive my test results either – esp not for math#and i KNOW it gets 100x worse in a college/uni/work environment i think i’m just being a bit of a crybaby but i can’t bring myself to#look forward to anything at all. pass my exams & graduate yay ^__^ -> immediately go back and study some more#then i’ll have to get a job and afhjdkf... maybe i’m thinking too far ahead but it all feels inevitable anyways so does it matter if i am?#i don’t know why i’m struggling so much compared to my peers who don’t see any of this as an issue at all#was i cursed to be sad since primary school#i can’t even talk to anyone about it because my dad [ though he has good intentions ] almost always ends up feeding me a variant of#think about your future Or thats just how student life is. meanwhile my mom will begin a competition of Who Has It Worse?!#my sister has her own stuff going on and my religious aunt will say something along the lines of [ have faith & go with the flow ]#i wish i had someone to confide in but i only ever really have myself i think. it sucks cuz no one seems to get it at all#i know objectively thats probably not true but. ahh i feel so disconnected from everyone#cw negative#cw vent#i didnt intend for this to become a whole thing but i got carried away#💭
4 notes · View notes
empress-of-snark · 1 year
Text
pros of writing the Crows into the Shadow & Bone Netflix series: fleshes out the plot, adds drama, attracts more viewers b/c they’re fan favorites, distinguishes the show from the books, etc etc
cons: they completely overshadow the main plot and no one cares about Alina anymore
4 notes · View notes
banglatown · 11 months
Text
.
#in reality - on the relationship front anyway#i’m not ready for a relationship and i don’t think i ever have been#i’m incredibly emotional and immature and so i attract emotionally unavailable ppl … bc i myself am also emotionally unavailable … dude tht#was a tough pill to swallow i’ll tell you tht for free ..#but once i did realise .. a lot of my tendencies started to make sense and i started to be able to identify shit abt myself better and know#what i need and want#like trauma is horrible but like it doesn’t make any of us bad ppl … but we all need to stop ppl who trigger our abandonment or attachment#issues .. DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS#now you can be wondering ‘beebs .. how dyek they’re doing tht xyz’#okay .. do they make you feel anxious? like not just 🦋 but like … ANXIOUS#like do you find yourself become unhinged so if they reply to you#… tht’s it … tht’s literally it#and how you stop them is … literally just remove them off of everything .. bloque bloque bloque#as far as they’re concerned you’re a fucking phantom (one of the few times i’ll excuse ghosting)#DO NOT EVER ACCEPT THT SHIT FROM NO ONE#bc none of our days r over and yk what … i do believe our persons are out there … i do 🪽🪽🪽#but we need to be patient for them#n i do think the universe is on our sides yk#like i think it makes these ppl tht IT KNOWSSS are bad for us hurt us to push them away from us … bc we don’t need them bad vibrations#i leave you w this oscar wilde quote i love:#‘never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary’#you’ve got this i’ve got this we’ve all got this 🧿 love n light#beebs.txt
3 notes · View notes
fakeoutbf · 7 months
Text
.
#okay so i’m gonna throw myself a little pity party so skip these post if you don’t wanna know#first off: i should’ve moved for college#like i really fucking should’ve#like i know why i didn’t and i’m sure if i had make a decision again it would make sense to pick the same#but idk if i’d known that i could’ve gotten into a foreign university and somehow impressed them enough to get a scholarship then i would’ve#gone no question asked no second guessing literally nothing#and i’m not saying i didn’t like my college experience or whatever but fuck i’m so tired of living so far away from everything in a place#where i know i’ll never make a lot of money doing what i studied to do#and i know that i can change careers and i’m not forced to follow one path or whatever but fuck it’s so scary to think of the possibilities#i get so anxious just considering picking something else now bc i already wasted 6 ish years of my life in this and i’d have to start again#idk whatever point is i wish i lived somewhere else so i’d hopefully have better living conditions and so that i could go to more concerts#y’all music is such a big part of my life and it doesn’t look like it but it is and i’ll explain more in post 2 but#i missed so many concerts this summer bc i live in bum fuck nowhere and no one comes here (and the artists i like don’t even come to the big#city near me rip) and i’m just forced to see them announce tour dates to places close ish by but that i could never afford and i just#i wish i could go and i wish i had friends to go with and i wish i’d moved and i wish my life wasn’t so lonely and pathetic and sucked
1 note · View note
cherrysnax · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
#how do I make the self loathing n depression stop. i feel like I’m drowning n like I’m pulling my loved ones down with me#I’m trying really hard to be a person but it feels like ky progress is gone. i have a hard time standing up for too long so it’s rlly hard#cooking for myself even though one of my goals was to cook more. i keep forgetting what day/month it is#i feel like I’m so far away and everyone is just . millions of miles away from me#i just. want living to not feel like a chore. i have so many things I look foreword to#n I don’t want to quit on myself#and part of me thinks it’s the stress from our constantly sinking money sitch due to comic deadlines — that are only here to help motivate#the world won’t end if we don’t make them. i think that’s something we forget#but yeah I’m worried abt my mom and my health is declining I’m always dizzy and forgetful b I have problems holding convos#and I’m tired all the time and my libido is gone and it’s either my depression or my antidepressants but I’m worried abt it#idk what if I’m dying. my family can’t afford me dying. and I don’t want to cut a life short that has so much potential#but golly gee has my mental health not gotten the memo. i wanna do things for the ones I love but mh body seems to be shutting down#i want to be a good friend or lover or child or adult but I mostly feel like I’m stuck a few years back#but I will be okay. i will learn how to navigate my newfound issues. make sure to go outside despite my general adversion to it#learn to let myself feel freely about the present. while also think past tommorow uh positively#if I give up on myself what more do I have?
5 notes · View notes
Text
Also going to the movies alone was very chill no one judged me I wasn’t perceived as a loser in the least bit. and I can definitely say my anxiety was for no reason at all. however, I just kind of figured out that I do not enjoy doing things alone. I love being alone because solitude is great. But doing things alone? Not so much. I just am realizing I always enjoyed doing things with people and I really need more of that in my life.
10 notes · View notes
arsonist-chicken · 2 years
Note
Knock knock, don't mind me, just asking how the festival went! Did you have fun? Did you end up watching that scary band after all? Did you make it home safely? The audience (me) wants to know everything!
Definitely not asking this because I miss you, shush, what are you even talking about?
It took a few weeks, but here's the Nova Rock report for you! ✨🦝🌈 it's only 4400 words, have fun.
Huh, I didn’t go 🥺🥺😭💖💗 over "I missed you" and the withdrawal symptoms you mentioned on discord, haha no, what?
The most important things first: I did have so much fun; I did watch the not-actually-scary band, and we did make it home safely and even without any delays (well except the one who had to travel to NRW with the DB but well) with only a weird little sunburn on my back from my shirt with cut-outs at the back.
We took the night train, so I went to the train station, thought "why are there always such weird people here at midnight", then remembered I was sitting there in my pyjamas with my hair still smelling of the fresh hair dye. I read your new chapter, had to stop myself from screaming, asked my sister + friend (NOT the random lady there) what they thought about the blind cat, we found a little ladybug in our compartment who then continued being in our tent, at the camp side, on the train home, and in my room back at home again. He’s actually flying around my lamp right now (well he was when I started writing this, he’s since left for the outsides).
We went with a whole bunch of people (like.. 20? My friend’s brother and his friends and friends of friends, you know), met two VERY annoying drunk Bregenzerwälder with their Hölzler shoes (who the FUCK wears those shoes to a festival??) and luckily lost them again, but everyone who was with us was really cool and chill to hang out with.
They had to cancel the first few bands because of the deep mud the rain had turned the stage areas into, but nothing I wanted to see luckily (although, go listen to Gloryhammer’s “Fly Away”, very fun), so I just sat there at the camping ground with my phone trying to listen to my zoom class (because of course the one lesson the whole semester I really wanted to be at was that week, but well, at least online); and after we went to a band I didn’t know before but someone said they were good, and they were (Coffeshop Company)! Which is something I really like about festivals, you can just go hang out by the stages for a bit to listen to new bands and see them on stage and if you don’t like them, you can just move along to another stage or sit with others by your tents. AND AND AND!! Oh yeah, we saw Evanescence for a bit, they’re okay. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY. I had been trying to see Rise Against live since I was 14, so 10. Years. now, and now I finally did see them!! And they were everything I expected! They were so energetic and they joked around a bit and the singer pointed out a few signs, and their energy and everything was so good! And their songs are fucking amazing live, they’re SO GOOD. Everyone and their grandmother always insisted on telling me how bad their sound was live, and now I got to judge for myself finally, and they were so GOOD!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
BRING ME THE HORIZON BRING ME THE HORIZON BRING ME THE HORIZON! Friday was BMTH day! It was still muddy as hell, like my sister went to the toilets and came back with her whole boots covered up above the ankle in mud, but the organisers really came through and covered the entire stage area with what I learned is called Holzschnitzel (wood chips), so no problems there anymore. We went to see Battle Beast, which – wow, the singer’s voice is unbelievable! She has such power in her voice! We also had some food, my sister dropped a perfectly fine mozzarella stick into the mud (highly relevant info), and my friend and me went to see Maneskin. I wasn’t that excited for them anymore because I don’t like their new music very much, but I thought I’d go see them for a bit, and well – they have amazing stage presence! They just come out and start off right off the bat with such power and energy, I can really see how they pull new audiences in at festivals! The ... guitarist? Bassist? I’m not sure which one the woman plays and I can’t tell the difference anyway, but she had some, uuuh, trouble with her outfit, in that she had a bit of tape on her chest and otherwise a net shirt that kept riding down to her stomach and some tech guy or the singer had to keep pulling back up for her. She also had HIGH heels which I don’t understand how she didn’t fall even once, running around in that, good for her. The singer once almost hit someone with a bottle or something and said, “Sorry if I hit you, my brother, my sister, whatever you are”, which 🌈🌈🌈 They’re, well... I could do with less sexual stuff but it’s their show. It was funny though how within 20 minutes, three of them were wearing almost nothing on top, except the guitarist (?) with his full long-sleeved cowboy outfit and cowboy hat.
We left a bit early and still watched the rest of Skillet 😊 had a snack on the floor while Korn was playing (they’re not bad actually), and then went into the first... like the areas in front of the stage are divided right? We went into the front section for Heilung. Because BMTH was playing right after them and we really wanted to be towards the front for them because well. Bring Me The Horizon 💖 which meant I had to stand there and suffer through 75 minutes of a god-awful boring weird band. They’re… you know, I already talked about them in the blind cat post, I’ll keep it short here: I thought they’d be creepy from seeing their music videos, especially with the red-blinking windmills in the background, but turns out, you can’t scare or creep me out if you just bore the hell out of me first. Their music is so slow it makes me want to scratch my skin off to feel something, they don’t interact with the audience at all, and you can’t understand their lyrics because they sing in I don’t know how many languages, half of them dead. On top of being boring as fuck, they’re also weird as hell, using instruments made of [redacted] and having very unpleasant to watch parts in their show that I don’t think they should be allowed to just act out like that at a festival that allows 8-year-olds in. Yes, the parents are responsible, but like I said – at a festival, you also just randomly walk around the stage area and see what happens even if you’re just passing by to a different area. Actually even forgetting about minors, I’m 24 and I didn’t like seeing that. Anyway, they’re boring, they’re weird and pretentious, don’t listen to them, @ Nova don’t book them again jesus christ.
ANYWAY. FRIDAY WAS BRING ME THE HORIZON DAY. Aka the absolute highlight. They came on stage, you could see how HAPPY they were to be there, they started out with “Can You Feel My Heart”, they’re happy, I’m happy, I feel nothing but joy FINALLY hearing them again after having been rescheduled three or so times. Remember how I said they’d cancelled bands because of the mud, and I said to a friend if I missed BMTH for any reason, I’d cry? Because I’d been waiting to see them since, well. Whenever in 2020 the concert would have been idk man. WELL. Turns out, the security at that festival is abysmal every year (we got checked twice in four days, but god forbid you take a plastic bottle or Tetrapak with you to the stages), and they didn’t close the front area when there were as many people there as allowed. I’m not gonna drag this out with details but long story short, it was okay during the first song but got too bad to stay when the second song + circle pits started (I have… opinions on them, should I elaborate?), we tried to leave but it was very cramped, we got separated, and next thing I know some guy (thank you <3) pulls me up from the floor and helps a security guy get me over the fence, who then drags me away to the paramedics, whom I tell I’m fine, just a bit dizzy, I just want to sit down on the side and watch from there, I can hear “Teardrops” fading into “Dear Diary” aka the song I’d been fucking annoying about being excited to hear, so naturally, they drag me away to the Red Cross tent. Where I just sit for a few minutes getting more and more upset over missing one of the few bands I really, really wanted to see. Anyway, we met two others from our group there too, a guy had twisted his ankle or something and his girlfriend, who – she is SO SWEET, she always asked how everyone was, she’s funny, she gave me Traubenzucker (seriously I still don’t know the English word) and hugged me and said we should just all go out and sit down on the side to watch the rest of BMTH, which we did, and actually suddenly a bunch of our group were there somehow? Anyway, I cried a little more watching them until I calmed down again, and the rest of the show was SO GOOD FUCK. They have such energyand excitement to be there and they go hard on stage, they really do, and the singer’s voice is so nice again now that he’s recovered, there is so much power behind and in his voice when he sings; anyone who says BMTH have become soft or worse or whatever since they have less screaming can fight me (the Florians?). I’m already looking forward to seeing them again in February (covid don’t even LOOK at February you fucking bitch) so much! They still played “Kingslayer” which is always great, “Drown” which is *chef’s kiss*, a few more songs (my concert memory is so bad, the most I can usually say is yeah it was great), and ended with “Throne”, which you know, *all the chef kisses in the world*. Seriously, if you like BMTH and ever get the chance to see them live – GO! They’re SO GOOD live, they’re so happy to be there, their energy takes over the audience immediately, you can scream along or just be there and vibe… They’re just such a great band, in general and to see live (ignoring my situation here, not the band’s fault but the security’s + drunk large guys who don’t look out for others), it’s so fun to be at their shows – oh, everyone who likes BMTH should get the chance to see them live! They’re so GOOD my god I’m excited for the new single tomorrow.
Have you listened to the 30 second thingy they put out already? I can’t get over the way he sings “forever”, someone who actually knows something about music explain to me what it is about that particular way he sings that makes it so 🥺✨💖🍀 Something about the way his voice… vibrates? So to say, and the slight rasp maybe? Not even mentioning the lyrics themselves! This week sure is a busy week for me with a new BMTH song tomorrow plus the BC album on Thursday and then everything else going on as well plus weaselling my way into the playlist with whatever BC song I’ll like the most by then at the drag party so I’ll see what you’ll come up with to bribe me.
Saturday was Electric Callboy day! It was finally warm and sunny and one guy convinced all of us to go to a band no one knew but said were fun to see live, and they were (Liedfett)! I wouldn’t listen to them otherwise but live there, they were fun, and somehow our group turned their band name into a Marco Polo thing. Also, since pretty much almost all of us were there, we asked a guy to take a picture of us and I’m 95% sure the guy was high of some sorts, but the photos turned out well. Also, another guy took a picture of all of us at the camping side once and I don’t know if he was a photographer or something, but he moved around, changed angles and took about 40 pictures, “so you’ll have a really good one!” My sister, friend, and me went to a Ferris wheel they had put up and from the top, you could see across the whole area, which was both huge but also looked smaller than I had expected. A few of us got some food and watched a bit of Jinjer, they’re okay but a bit boring maybe. But but but! After them, Electric Callboy played! Awww Ruby, I wish I had a picture of their faces pretty much anytime they showed them on the screens up-close, they looked so HAPPY, it was beautiful to see! They were so GOOD and so excited to be there and play their show and they always smiled and laughed so beautifully*, it was wonderful to see 🥺 And it was so fun too, they talked quite a bit, once before “Spaceman”, the smaller singer Nico, as Fine taught me, took Kevin to the front of the stage to teach the audience the lalala-ish sound, but the way he did that was to take Kevin by the hand and walk with him to the front of the stage hand in hand while saying something like “Komm mal mit mein Lieber, also der Typ, der kann Sachen machen mit seiner Zunge, ich schau ihm jeden Tag beim Üben zu, haltet eure Freundinnen und Freunde fest, da könnt ihr noch was lernen”.. oder so. Ngl for a second I was wondering if surely he wouldn’t just go ahead and kiss the guy, right? Oh, a few others of our group who didn’t or not really know them came too and they all loved them, some even said they were their highlight of the festival! Which is not at all surprising, I mean you’ve seen them too, right, you know how just… Their energy and fucking around and their easy-to-vibe-with music make it really easy I think for anyone to really, really enjoy their concerts, even if you don’t really know them. I know I already loved them in April when I forgot to listen to more of their songs than I knew at the time before their EC/BC Munich concert, and it was still so much fun. Their stage presence and happy-go-lucky attitude and how obviously happy they are to play their music just makes it really easy to have fun. *I asked Fine, Laura, and Lou if it would be very weird to send them a message or email or something telling them how nice it was to see how happy they were on stage and how beautiful their smiles and laughs were, and got an “you are so cute” in return, but I’m telling you – they were the cute ones with how utterly HAPPY they were 🥺 I feel like I haven’t said a lot besides “it was so nice to see how happy they were” in various shades and slightly to the left but it just cannot be said enough. It was beautiful to see. Maybe I’ll still write them a message or a letter or something. Oh I also saw parts of The Offspring, Bad Religion, Seiler und Speer, Dame, and Deichkind later that day but none really convinced me, so in the end I had an early night (like... midnight “early”).
Sunday was Billy Talent day! Also a few other bands before that, Kissin’ Dynamite are fun to watch and their singer seems like a little shit (I could see him and Joonas fucking around on stage together), a bit of Eluveitie (boring) and In Flames (better than I remembered). We went around a bit before Billy Talent for food and then one booth had just run out of all meats, mozzarella sticks, whatever else, idk they only had fries left so we went to get a pizza, had a discussion in line with some guys about what the pizza names mean, and found out some sinners put eggplant on pizza. My friend works at a zoo and told us they can only feed eggplants to one breed of their stags because not even the pigs eat those. Oooh, Billy Talent were also so fun to watch! I’m not sure why there were so many more people than the day before, maybe because they were the second-to-last band to play? Anyway, very fun! Almost all of our group were there again, I knew about half of the songs they played and it’s just so easy to sing along and see everyone else also sing and jump along and just enjoy being there! Except the couple right in front of us who just spent the whole show making out. Why. Move. The singer made fun of the shape of the stage, talked a bit about other stuff and joked around, they also just have a presence that makes you enjoy their concert regardless of how well you know them, they make it easy to have fun.
Ah, the last band was Five Finger Death Punch, which I didn’t really know before, maybe a song or two in passing, but they were really entertaining to watch. To me – apparently quite a few people thought the singer talked to much or sang weirdly or was drunk? I don’t know, I didn’t hear it, I just had fun with his jokes and I thought his voice was quite powerful too. I don’t really know them but I think they were a good final act to put on.
There’s not much to be said about the trip home, we got up at 5 or so to avoid the “everyone leaving” waves, had some more floor breakfast at the Vienna train station, chatted some more, and on the train everyone fell asleep one after the other, but not before witnessing me almost losing my jacket with no idea how it ended up there and despite looking at it several times before another traveller asked his friend whose jacket that was, and throwing my phone on the floor five seconds later. I had to get off earlier than the others at my uni town, which meant I got a hug goodbye from the only guy still motivated to stand up (feel you), almost forgot my chair, and then almost fell down the train stairs. I was tired okay. Also at like... 8pm or so, a few hours after I’d already showered and thrown everything into the dishwasher washing machine, we finally got the text from the one who had to take the DB to NRW that she’d arrived home, about two hours late, unsurprisingly. I know I complain about the ÖBB a lot and rightfully so I think, but how do you all just live like that regularly?
Remember how you said on discord you’d gotten withdrawal symptoms and I said it was five days and you said, "5 days in which anything could have happened you know"? Well. Nothing happened for me (where is my festival romance huh? BC concert first date idea? Huh, did someone say something?), however. I sit at the camping side with a bunch of others on Saturday noon, enjoying the sun finally being here, when I hear my sister + friend say my name, so I go over to see what they’re gossiping about me, only for my sister to tell me a guy from our group randomly (“randomly”, you should have been there, it was so fucking obvious there was something there, and that’s from me who never notices shit until it’s pointed out to me) asked her if she’s single the day before, she later asked him to do something after the festival and he said he would have asked her if she hadn’t asked first. They’ve had a few dates since then, I think it’s going well.
I haven’t talked about the sunsets yet! Oooh, so that festival is in the Pannonia fields, which basically means in the middle of nowhere on some farmers’ fields which are packed with windmills which at night blink red rhythmically and that looks so cool at night! Just a few dozen windmills in the background blinking red in sync. And the sunsets were beautiful! Just being by the stage, listening to or waiting for a great band to play, and left and right of the stage seeing the sunset over the fields 🥰 (don’t go there to see mountains, the area’s highest one is 302m)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Oooh!! Do you know how I hate phones at concerts a little? Like I get taking a few pictures or short videos, but I’m really annoyed by people recording whole songs or the whole concert wth is wrong with people because the people behind you can’t see goddamn it. I don’t want to be mean to or about teenage audiences, I don’t. It has to be said though, the difference in phone usage at concerts with a primarily teenage audience vs a primarily adult audience is staggering. This year, I’ve been to a Louis Tomlinson, 5SOS, and EC/BC concert and now the festival, and the difference in the audience is huge. At LT + 5SOS, there were so many people there who were constantly recording and watching so much of the concerts through their phones (you miss everything?!), whereas at EC/BC and the festival, people also took photos or recorded but like… very, very few people constantly did so, most took a picture or video of their favorite songs and then put their phones away again. And I have to say, the difference in the energy of the audience is very noticeable. People are just much more into it, just being there enjoying the show, singing and jumping along etc. etc., you know what I’m talking about. I once saw a video of a Halsey show where phones were banned, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that since then every time I see people constantly on their phones at concerts.
It was also so goddamn nice to be – well technically you’re reachable, most people have their phones with them, but in reality, I can just turn on flight mode and only take it off that when I need to find my friends (well and that one class) and ignore everything else for four days. Ideal existence tbh. No uni, no work, no being contacted if you don’t want to, no other adult responsibilities, just hanging out with fun people, sharing snacks, and enjoying good music together, half of the days even in the sunshine. Speaking of sun, why did no one tell me my hat looked stupid, I wore that for the whole weekend 😤 oh, also, I got a BMTH shirt! It’s so pretty and it’s white but somehow still too warm for a 30-degree day. Then again everything is, probably. But I had a clean shirt to wear for the journey home with my dust-covered skirt, that was nice.
I met a woman with really pretty multi-coloured hair at the showers. Once there was suddenly a bridal party at the camping spot asking for a beer for their flunky ball bridal party game and invited us to join and offered glitter tattoos. Oh, the guy who hurt his ankle, some of our group borrowed a… those small things you can put boxes or other stuff on you need to transport and wheel it around? One of those to have the guy stand on and wheel him back to our camping area. We found a really nice spot a bit farther away from one of the stages for when we wanted to see a band but just relax and vibe, maybe have some food there and sit down a bit, that was a good spot, I swear we weren’t just on our feet 12h every day in front of the stages. Just peppering in all the random things here that I’m remembering that didn’t fit elsewhere. We built the ladybug a little home in one of the glass holder nets in my camping chair. You said you missed me. Oh, we camped in the Green Area which is just like, less trash and noise, and by day two, there was a hole in the fence which was quite practical because it made the way to the stage area shorter. By day four, a whole fence thingy had been moved. Also, that area was supposed to be quieter but they had a party area or something that played music with heavy bass until 4am or so, which apparently bothered quite a few people about sleeping, but I found quite soothing actually. Oh, the fiancé/husband of the bride with her bridal party was also somewhere with his friends, I kept seeing them in their pink safety vests vs. the women in the orange ones.
Tumblr media
So yeah, the security, paramedics, and non-alcoholic drink situation where not it (they had… Red Bull and water stations, but 95% of the drinks sold were alcoholic – please remember the minimum age is 8, also some people (hi) don’t like to drink, especially not at festivals), but the people I was there with, the bands, how obviously happy they all were to be there, the eating food on the floor with each other, the shared snacks at the camping area, the just hanging out and chatting at the camping area talking about the bands and whatever else really, the “guess what I just saw on my way to the toilets” stories shared, the random people around us, the “travelling together and having food and listening to music together” human experience – yeah, that was very much it 🥰🥰🥰💖✨🌈🦝🍀 Writing all that down took about 2 pages of my happy memories book, 100/10 would recommend grabbing your favorite snacks and a few friends, putting your phones into flight mode, and wandering off to a festival for a few days 🥰🥰🥰
#id in alt text#well the happiness didn’t last long because my flatmate bothered me as soon as I turned my phone back on at the train station but whatever#and I’m angry at myself for missing BMTH because honestly I was probably just being dramatic but I still saw most of them and they are#SO GOOD RUBY SO GOOD I love BMTH with my whole soul I’m not ready for a new album I’m very much ready though to hear it#at the concert in February that I will see in its entirety so help me#oh this got long didn’t it hold on let me look at the word stats – ah 304minutes.#Well word also counts if it’s just open in the background so maybe let’s clock it in at 2h#or so to see if I really got everything plus a bit to 🦝🦝🦝 over you saying you missed me#also you could give recommendations for next years' artists so i nicely begged for BC + Alex Mattson#good for them for going to wacken but i will never in my life go there again#it's five hundred fucking hours away and it's huge which is great for the bands i think but as the audience you're just always so#far away from the stages you practically only see the screens. at least as far as i remember and i was there in 2014 so don't take my word#for it#in conclusion BC please come to a festival around here#there's even one in my area! billy talent have also been there before!#huh actually let me check if you can suggest bands to them too they could do with a bit more in that direction and a bit less#of party pop and techno music#i went there for russkaja and saltatio mortis and they were great! blind channel next?#i'm going to a harry styles concert on monday that i'd also forgotten i still have a ticket for and i'm excited#because his music is good enough and i'm going with friends and we're gonna have a little car roadtrip there again#(i say roadtrip it's 2h or so away but we're going together and we're gonna listen to music and have some snacks so <3)#but i am decidedly not excited about the screaming and screeching 15-21 year olds#very excited to find a spot in the back and just chill and hang out there and enjoy it from there in peace#nova rock report#the-very-rubiest#asks#have fun with that i know I'd hate to read that many long-ish paragraphs but i didn't know where to put the breaks and also tumblr#was acting up about actually letting me post it
5 notes · View notes
pussy-ache · 1 year
Text
kinda wondering if i exaggerate the issue in my own mind
#then again. i cried cuz he told me his boyfriend bought him antacid#it was just such a sweet tiny intimate thing that i immediately started crying even though it’s so fucking stupid i could scream#i will literally never be able to meet his boyfriend literally ever. or anyone he ends up with. for the rest of his life.#i’ll never be able to look any of them in the eye as i lie through my teeth#sometimes i cry just thinking about that and how sad that is#how he deserves better than that#i cried for days after each art exhibit#i cried AT the exhibits. i walked away from him and cried#including the one when we were teenagers#i stand next to him and my body feels like it’s splitting apart at the seams from the effort of biting my tongue#i have gotten better cuz i used to cry significantly more when we were younger#i’d cry pretty much every time i was near him#which i guess still happens but i see him less so it’s not as common as it was#i can’t say i’m making it harder on myself on purpose. it is what it is. it’s always been this way#i always knew it would only get harder when we got older but still#it’s crazy because it’s so easy. like breathing. and i think that’s where the conflict arises#to fight against it is necessary but it’s not easy. it never has been tbh.#it’s like i’m holding my breath and pushing it as far down as i can when i should be naturally breathing. i keep choking on it.#it just always feel so inappropriate because i can’t control it i never know what to do or where to turn#it just makes me feel like a really bad friend
1 note · View note
arthur-r · 2 years
Text
i got complimented for the stickers on my water bottle being so cottagecore…. killing and biting and crying and screaming
#also going around under my deadname all day has been definitely a weird and not good experience#like i haven’t had to introduce myself under my deadname since before i even knew i was trans#(even when i have to pretend to be cis i always go with ari because i can treat it like a silly nickname and be kinda okay with it)#i never just spend my time with my mom constantly at my shoulder and it’s been weird#also the bus driver was being majorly creepy toward my mom#like. as we were boarding the first time he was like oh you you’re special your red hair makes you special#and then he called her like. ‘‘my special redhead lady’’#and it was just. very uncomfortable. like i don’t usually run into people being that weird about gingers but this guy was#anyway lincoln is nice but it’s a lot like st paul so my mom thinks i should stay in state and go a little further into the cities#it does kind of feel like i should either go somewhere new and different (madison) or save the cost of room and board when this is basically#just another midwestern city only 6 hours further away#but the thing is i WANT to be far from home it’s just. everything feels very fragile and hard to figure out#i have to pull up tuition figures for all the schools again it’s getting really hard to remember what i’m getting into with each one#anyway idk. like. i like it here but. my dad wasn’t wrong when he said nearly everyone is white here it’s friggin weird#like there’s a couple other poc touring but i’m talking like. three total out of 60. so idk how it would feel to relocate here#anyway i’ve got a lot to think about but i haven’t even officially toured campus yet. i’m sticking with it#and there’s the international quilt museum and stuff here that are really cool#so yeah i’ll keep giving it a chance. it’s just. idk it’s not quite what i was expecting#that being said i would happily be a student here. i’m just not sure it’s worth whatever tuition costs to be here#anyway i’ll shut up about college stuff it’s just where i’m physically at right now so it’s what’s on my mind#but yeah. idk. i still have time to figure all of this out. and i will. just. yeah#me. my post. mine.#delete later#college talk
3 notes · View notes
hypocritic-trash-baby · 3 months
Text
If somehow you haven’t seen by now, while the Super Bowl is being aired, Israel is striking Rafah.
The people of Palestine had been told to go there, they were promised it was safe.
And while this is happening, even though earlier several tags on Palestine were trending, only one or two are now.
I haven’t written any posts personally on Palestine myself. I didn’t feel I had anything to add here aside from reblogging and boosting whatever I can but please. We can’t forget Palestine or its people especially now.
This has gone on too long and gone much much too far MANY times and now is when we need to push harder.
Many of the heads of Western countries are either beating around the bush and wasting time, or outright denying the things the Palestinian people don’t have the privilege to ignore. They don’t have the choice to look away from their pain, or the pain of friends, family, neighbors, their country. And even through all of this they’re still trying their damn hardest just to live. And we all need to listen.
So now, especially if you live in a western country like I do, now we step it up a notch. Now is the time if you haven’t already to read up on Palestinian history. Listen to what the people of Palestine are saying. Hold firm on the boycott like never before. Any and every way you can donate, do it. eSIMs, aid, anything that will reach. Save as much evidence as you can. Videos, articles. Don’t let Zionists pretend all of this never happened.
Even if you think there’s nothing you can do, I’m telling you, keep going. Even if you feel you can only give a little, if we all give a little together it becomes much more.
Hit imperialism where it hurts. In the wallet. Follow the BDS instructions, find protests in your area if you can, boost as much information about Palestine as you can find, call your reps, and do not lose hope. The people of Palestine are not dead. They are holding on even through all this and we all owe it to them to do the same.
A Free Palestine will happen in our lifetimes. But it will be hard fought. So go out there and fight hard! The governments can’t hide from their own people forever. The companies can’t bleed cash forever. The people will win. So push until we do. Do not look away. Free Palestine
16K notes · View notes