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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 3 months

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By: Beth Bourne

Published: Feb 27, 2024

Kaiser gender specialists were eager to approve hormones and surgeries, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.”

On September 6, 2022, I received mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminding me of a routine cervical screening. The language of the reminder stood out to me: “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” When I asked my Ob-Gyn about this strange wording, she told me the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of their “transgender” and “gender fluid” patients.

Based on this response, several thoughts occurred to me. Could I expose the medical scandal of “gender-affirming care” by saying and doing everything my daughter and other trans-identifying kids are taught to do? Would there be the type of medical safeguarding and differential diagnosis we would expect in other fields of medicine, or would I simply be allowed to self-diagnose and be offered the tools (i.e. hormones and surgeries) to choose my own gender adventure and become my true authentic self?

If I could demonstrate that anyone suffering from delusions of their sex, self-hatred, or identity issues could qualify for and easily obtain body-altering hormones and surgeries, all covered by insurance as “medically necessary” and potentially “life-saving” care, then maybe people would finally wake up. I certainly had.

I was prepared for failure. I wasn’t prepared for how easy success would be.

* * *

I am a 53-year-old mom from Davis, CA. My daughter began identifying as a transgender boy (social transition) and using he/him pronouns at school during 8th grade. Like several of her peers who also identified as trans at her school, my daughter was a gifted student and intellectually mature but socially immature. This shift coincided with her school’s sudden commitment to, and celebration of, a now widespread set of radical beliefs about the biology of sex and gender identity.

She “came out” as trans to her father (my ex-husband) and me through a standard coming-out letter, expressing her wish to start puberty blockers. She said she knew they were safe, citing information she had read from Planned Parenthood and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH). To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was also confused because this announcement was sudden and unexpected. While others quickly accepted and affirmed my daughter’s new identity, I was apprehensive and felt the need to learn more about what was going on.

Events began escalating quickly.

During a routine doctor’s visit scheduled for dizziness my daughter said that she was experiencing, the Kaiser pediatrician overheard her father using “he/him” pronouns for our daughter. The pediatrician seemed thrilled, quickly asking my daughter about her “preferred pronouns” and updating her medical records to denote that my daughter was now, in fact, my son. The pediatrician then recommended we consult the Kaiser Permanente Oakland Proud pediatric gender clinic, where she could get further information and (gender affirming) “treatment.” Now I was the one feeling dizzy.

As I began educating myself on this issue, I discovered that this phenomenon—minors, most often teen girls, suddenly adopting trans identities—was becoming increasingly widespread. It even had a name: rapid onset gender dysphoria, or ROGD. Thankfully, after learning about the potential side-effects of blockers and hormones, my ex-husband and I managed to agree not to consent to any medical interventions for our daughter until she turned 18 and would then be able to make such decisions as an adult.

Over the past five years, my daughter’s identity has slowly evolved in ways that I see as positive. Our bond, however, has become strained, particularly since I began publicly voicing my concerns about what many term as “gender ideology.” Following my daughter’s 17th birthday family celebration, she sent me an email that evening stating she would be cutting off contact with me.

While this estrangement brought me sorrow, with my daughter living full-time with her father, it also gave me the space to be an advocate/activist in pushing back on gender identity ideology in the schools and the medical industry.

I decided to go undercover as a nonbinary patient to show my daughter what danger she might be putting herself in—by people who purport to have her health as their interest, but whose main interest is in medically “affirming” (i.e., transitioning) whoever walks through their door. I am at heart a mother protecting her child.

* * *

My daughter’s sudden decision to become a boy was heavily on my mind in early September of 2022, when mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminded me of a routine cervical screening with “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” I was told that the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of transgender and “gender fluid” patients.

Throughout the whole 231-day process of my feigned gender transition, the Kaiser gender specialists were eager to serve me and give me what I wanted, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.” My emails were returned quickly, my appointments scheduled efficiently, and I never fell through the cracks. I was helped along every step of the way.

Despite gender activists and clinicians constantly claiming that obtaining hormones and surgeries is a long and complex process with plenty of safety checks in place, I was in full control at every checkpoint. I was able to self-diagnose, determine how strong a dose of testosterone I received and which surgeries I wanted to pursue, no matter how extreme and no matter how many glaring red flags I purposefully dropped. The medical workers I met repeatedly reminded me that they were not there to act as “gatekeepers.”

I was able to instantly change my medical records to reflect my new gender identity and pronouns. Despite never being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I was able to obtain a prescription for testosterone and approval for a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy from my doctor. It took only three more months (90 days) to be approved for surgery to remove my uterus and have a fake penis constructed from the skin of my thigh or forearm. Therapy was never recommended.

Critics might dismiss my story as insignificant on the grounds that I am a 53-year-old woman with ample life experience who should be free to alter her body. However, this argument for adult bodily autonomy is a standard we apply to purely cosmetic procedures like breast implants, liposuction, and facelifts, not “medically necessary” and “lifesaving” treatments covered by health insurance. Or interventions that compromise health and introduce illness into an otherwise healthy body. And especially not for children.

My story, which I outline in much more detail below, should convince any half-rational person that gender medicine is not operating like any other field of medicine. Based on a radical concept of “gender identity,” this medical anomaly preys upon the body-image insecurities common among pubescent minors to bill health insurance companies for permanent cosmetic procedures that often leave their patients with permanently altered bodies, damaged endocrine systems, sexual dysfunction, and infertility.

* * *

Detailed Timeline of Events

On October 6, 2022, I responded to my Ob-Gyn’s email to tell her that, after some thought, I’d decided that maybe the label “cis woman” didn’t truly reflect who I was. After all, I did have some tomboyish tendencies. I told her I would like my records to be changed to reflect my newly realized “nonbinary” identity, and that my new pronouns were they/them. I also voiced my desire to be put in touch with an endocrinologist to discuss starting testosterone treatment.

Fifteen minutes later I received an email from another Kaiser doctor informing me that my medical records had been changed, and that once my primary doctor returned to the office, I’d be able to speak with her about hormone therapy.

I responded the following day (October 7, 2022), thanking her for changing my records, and asking if she could connect me with someone who could help me make an appointment for “top surgery” (i.e., a cosmetic double mastectomy) because my chest binder was rather “uncomfortable after long days and playing tennis.”

She told me to contact my primary care MD to “get things rolling,” and that there were likely to be “preliminary evaluations.”

Six days after contacting my primary care MD for a referral, I received an email from one of Kaiser’s gender specialists asking me to schedule a phone appointment so she could better understand my goals for surgery, so that I could get “connected to care.” This call to review my “gender affirming treatment options and services” would take 15-20 minutes, after which I would be “booked for intake,” allowing me to proceed with medical transition.

This wasn’t an evaluation of whether surgical transition was appropriate, it was simply a meeting for me to tell them what I wanted so that they could provide it.

On October 18, I had my one and only in-person appointment in preparation for top surgery. I met in Davis with my primary care physician, Dr. Hong-wen Xue. The assessment was a 10-minute routine physical exam that included blood tests. Everything came back normal. Notably, there was not a single question about why I wanted top surgery or cross-sex hormones. Nor was there any discussion of the risks involved with these medical treatments.

The following week, on October 24, I had a phone appointment with Rachaell Wood, MFT, a gender specialist with Kaiser Sacramento. The call lasted 15 minutes and consisted of standard questions about potential drug use, domestic violence, guns in the house, and whether I experienced any suicidal thoughts. There were no questions from the gender specialist about my reasons for requesting a mastectomy or cross-sex hormones, or why I suddenly, at 52, decided I was “nonbinary.”

After the call, Kaiser emailed me instructions about how to prepare for my pre-surgery intake video appointment to evaluate my mental health, scheduled to take place on November 15. The email stated that prior to my appointment, I should research hormone risks on the WPATH website, and to “research bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction surgery risks and recovery” on Kaiser’s website.

I decided to request a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy and phalloplasty. Kaiser sent me a sample timeline for gender transition surgery preparation (see below) that you can use as a reference for the process. I also asked for a prescription for cross-sex hormones (testosterone) as needed and recommended by Kaiser.

[ Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]

Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part I

This “Mental Health Visit” assessment was conducted over Zoom. The Kaiser gender specialist started with questions addressing my marital status, race, gender identity, and other demographics. She asked whether I was “thinking of any other surgeries, treatments in the future.” The list she read included “gender-affirming” hysterectomies, bottom surgeries such as metoidioplasty and phalloplasty, vocal coaching, support groups, and body contouring. “Anything else you might be interested in doing?” she asked. I said that I’d perhaps be interested in body contouring. I was also assured that all the procedures would be covered by insurance because they were considered “medically necessary.”

I dropped in several red flags regarding my mental health to see the reaction, but all were ignored. For instance, I revealed that I had PTSD. When the therapist asked me about whether I had experienced any “childhood trauma,” I explained that I grew up in Mexico City and had been groped several times and had also witnessed men masturbating in public and had been grabbed by men in subways and buses. “I was a young girl, so [I had] lots of experiences of sexual harassments, sexual assault, just the kind of stuff that happens when you are a girl growing up in a big city.” “So, you know,” I finished, “just the general feeling that you are unsafe, you know, in a female body.”

The therapist did not respond to my disclosure that trauma could be the cause of my dysphoria. Instead of viewing this trauma as potentially driving my desire to escape my female body through hormones and surgery, she asked whether there is anything “important that the surgery team should be aware of” regarding my “history of trauma,” such as whether I’d be comfortable with the surgeon examining and marking my chest prior to surgery.

When asked about whether I had had any “psychotic symptoms,” I told her that while I had had no such symptoms, my mother had a delusional nervous breakdown in her 50s because she had body dysmorphia and became convinced she had a growth on her neck that needed to be removed. I told her that my mother was then admitted to an inpatient hospital for severe depression. I asked her whether she ever sees patients with body dysmorphia and whether I could have potentially inherited that from my mother. She told me that psychosis was hereditary, but that it was “highly unlikely” that there was any connection between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria.

I enthusiastically waved more mental health red flags, waiting to see if she would pick up on any of them.

I’m just wondering if my feelings, or perseverating, or feeling like these breasts make me really unhappy and I just don’t want them anymore!...I’m just not sure if that’s a similar feeling to body dysmorphia? How do you decide which one is gender dysphoria and general body dysmorphia, and just not liking something about your body? Feeling uncomfortable with your body? And I did have an eating disorder all through college. I was a distance runner in college so I had bulimia and anorexia, you know. So I don’t know if that’s related to gender dysphoria?

The therapist replied, “I completely appreciate your concerns, but I am going to ask you questions about your chest, about your expectations. And then I’ll be able to give you an assessment.” She also said the main difference between my mom’s situation and mine was that my mom didn’t really have a growth on her neck, whereas it’s “confirmed” that I actually have “chest tissue.” Furthermore, she said that while “historically there has been all this pressure on patients to be like ‘Are you really, really sure you want hormones? Are you 100% sure?’ We are a little more relaxed.” She continued, “As long as you are aware of the risks and the side-effects, you can put your toe in the water. You can stop ‘T’ [testosterone], you can go back and do it again later! You can stop it! You can stop it! You know what I mean?”

Because we ran out of time, I scheduled a follow-up phone meeting on December 27, 2022 with a different gender specialist to complete my mental health assessment for top surgery.

Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part II

During this meeting, Guneet Kaur, LCSW, another Kaiser gender specialist (she/her/they/them pronouns) told me that she regretted the “gatekeeping vibe” of the meeting but assured me that since I have been “doing the work,” her questions are essentially just a form of “emotional support” before talking with the medical providers.

She asked me about what I’d been “looking into as far as hormones.” I told her that I’d be interested in taking small doses of testosterone to counterbalance my female feelings to achieve “a feeling that’s kind of neutral.”

When she asked me about me “not feeling like I match on the outside what I feel on the inside,” I dropped more red flags, mentioning my aversion to wearing dresses and skirts.

I don’t own a single dress or a skirt and haven't in 20 years. I think for me it’s been just dressing the way that’s comfortable for me, which is just wearing, jeans and sweatshirts and I have a lot of flannel shirts and, and I wear boots all the time instead of other kinds of shoes. So I think it’s been nice being able to dress, especially because I work from home now most of the time that just a feeling of clothing being one of the ways that I can feel more non-binary in my everyday life.

She responded, “Like having control over what you wear and yeah. Kind of that feeling of just, yeah, this is who I am today. That’s awesome. Yeah.”

She then asked me to describe my dysphoria, and I told her that I didn’t like the “feeling of the female form and being chesty,” and that because I am going through menopause, I wanted to start taking testosterone to avoid “that feeling of being like this apple-shaped older woman.” “Good. Okay, great,” she responded, reminding me that only “top surgery,” not testosterone, would be able to solve my chest dysphoria. (Perhaps it was because all these meetings were online, they didn’t notice I’m actually fit and relatively slender at 5’-5” and 130 pounds, and not apple-shaped at all.)

She told me that we had to get through a few more questions related to my medical history before “we can move on to the fun stuff, which is testosterone and top surgery.”

The “fun stuff” consisted of a discussion about the physical and mood changes I could expect, and her asking me about the dose of testosterone I wanted to take and the kind of “top surgery” technique I’d prefer to achieve my “chest goals.” She told me that all or most of my consultations for surgeries and hormones would be virtual.

The gender specialist told me after the appointment, she would submit my referral to the Multi-Specialty Transitions Clinic (MST) team that oversees “gender expansive care.” They would follow up to schedule a “nursing call” with me to review my medical history, after which they’d schedule my appointment with a surgeon for a consultation. Her instructions for this consultation were to “tell them what you’re wanting for surgery and then they share with you their game plan.”

[ Decision-making slide to help me identify my goals for top surgery–flat chest, nipple sensation, or minimal scarring. Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]

She told me that Kaiser has a team of plastic surgeons who “only work with trans and nonbinary patients because there’s just so much need for them.” She asked about my priorities for chest surgery, such as whether I value flatness over nipple sensation. I learned about double incision top surgery with nipple grafts, as well as “keyhole,” “donut,” “buttonhole,” and “Inverted-T” top surgeries.

By the end of the hour-long appointment, I had my surgery referral and was ready for my “nursing call” appointment.

Nursing call with Nurse Coordinator from the Transgender Surgery and Gender Pathways Clinic at Kaiser San Francisco

On January 19, 2023, I had my nursing call with the Nurse Coordinator. He first said that “the purpose of this call is just for us to go through your chart together and make sure everything’s as accurate as possible.” Once that was done, my referral would be sent to the surgeon for a consultation.

He asked me about potential allergies and recreational drug use, and verified that I was up to date on mammograms, pap smears, and colon cancer screenings, as well as vaccines for flu and COVID. I verified my surgical history as well as my current medications and dietary supplements.

He told me about a “top surgery class” available for patients where one of the Kaiser surgeons “presents and talks about surgical techniques and options within top surgery,” and includes a panel of patients who have had top surgery. I signed up for the February 8th class.

Within 10 minutes he told me that he had “sent a referral to the plastic surgery department at Kaiser Sacramento,” and that I should be hearing from them in the next week or two to schedule a consultation.

Appointment for Testosterone

On January 27, I had a 13-minute online appointment with a primary care doctor at Kaiser Davis to discuss testosterone. The doctor verified my name and preferred pronouns, and then directly asked: “So, what would you like to do? What kind of physical things are you looking for?”

I told her I wanted facial hair, a more muscular and less “curvy” physique, and to feel stronger and androgynous. She asked me when I wanted to start, and I told her in the next few months. She asked me if I was menopausal, whether I had ovaries and a uterus, although that information should have been on my chart.

The doctor said she wanted me to come in to get some labs so she could check my current estrogen, testosterone, and hemoglobin levels before starting hormones. Then “we'll set the ball in motion and you'll be going. We’ll see you full steam ahead in the direction you wanna go.”

That was it. I made an appointment and had my lab tests done on February 12. My labs came back on February 14, and the following day, after paying a $5 copay at the Kaiser pharmacy, I picked up my testosterone pump. That was easy!

Top Surgery Consultation

On the same day I received my labs, I had a Zoom surgery consultation with Karly Autumn-Kaplan, MD, Kaiser Sacramento plastic surgeon. This consultation was all about discussing my “goals” for surgery, not about whether surgery was needed or appropriate.

I told the surgeon that I wanted a “flatter, more androgynous appearance.” She asked me some questions to get a better idea of what that meant for me. She said that some patients want a “male chest,” but that others “want to look like nothing, like just straight up and down, sometimes not even nipples.” Others still wanted their chest to appear slightly feminine and only “slightly rounded.” I told her that I’d like my chest to have a “male appearance.”

“What are your thoughts about keeping your nipples?” she asked. “Are you interested in having nipples or would you like them removed?” I told her that I’d like to keep my nipples, but to make them “smaller in size.” She asked me if I’d like them moved to “the edge of the peck muscle” to achieve “a more male appearance.” I said yes.

I was asked to show my bare chest from the front and side, which I did. Then she asked me how important it was for me to keep my nipple sensation. I replied that it was important unless it would make recovery more difficult or there were other associated risks. She highlighted the problem with the free nipple graft, saying that removing the nipple to relocate it means “you're not gonna have sensation in that nipple and areola anymore.” However, some nipple sensation could be preserved by keeping it attached to “a little stalk of tissue” with “real nerves going to it,” but that would require leaving more tissue behind. I told her I’d go for the free nipple graft to achieve a flatter appearance. It was also suggested I could skip nipple reconstruction entirely and just get nipples “tattooed” directly onto my chest.

She told me I was “a good candidate for surgery,” and put me on the surgery wait list. She said that the wait time was between three and five months, but a cancellation could move me up to a sooner date. Also, if I wanted surgery as soon as possible, I could tell the surgery scheduler that I’d be willing to have any of the other three surgeons perform my mastectomy. Outpatient top surgery would cost me a copay of $100.

They contacted twice, in February and March, notifying me of cancellations. If I had accepted and shown up on those dates, they would have removed my breasts. This would have been less than five months from the time I first contacted Kaiser to inform them of my new “nonbinary” gender identity.

How Far Can I Go?

I decided to see how easy it would be for me to get approved for a phalloplasty. Known euphemistically as “bottom surgery,” phalloplasty is the surgical creation of an artificial penis, generally using tissue from the thigh or arm.

I sent an email on March 1, 2023, requesting to have a phalloplasty and concurrent hysterectomy scheduled alongside my mastectomy.

Two weeks later, on March 16th, I had a 16-minute phone call with a gender specialist to discuss my goals for bottom surgery and obtain my referral.

During the call, I explained to the specialist that I wasn’t sure about taking testosterone anymore because I was already quite athletic and muscular, and that taking testosterone didn’t make much sense to me. Instead, I wanted bottom surgery so that I wouldn’t feel like my “top” didn’t match my “bottom.” I told her:

But what I really wanted was to have bottom surgery. So this way when I have my top surgery, which sounds like it could be very soon, that I’ll be aligned, that I won’t have this sense of dysphoria with one part of my body and the other part feeling like it matched who I am. So yeah. So I just did a little bit more research into that. And I looked at the resources on the Kaiser page for the MST clinic and I think I know what I want, which is the hysterectomy and then at the same time or soon after to be able to have a phalloplasty.

I told her that I wanted to schedule the top and bottom surgery concurrently so that I wouldn’t have to take more time off work and it would save me trips to San Francisco or Oakland, or wherever I had to go for surgery.

None of this gave the gender specialist pause. After a brief conversation about some online resources to look over, she told me that she would “submit the referral now and we’ll get this ball rolling.”

Bottom surgery would cost me a copay of $200, which included a couple of days in the hospital for recovery.

Phalloplasty Surgical Consultation with Nurse Coordinator

On May 16, 2023, I had a short surgical consultation with a nurse coordinator to go through my medical history. This was similar to the consultation for top surgery but included information about hair removal procedures for the skin on my “donor site” that would be fashioned into a makeshift penis. They also went over the procedures for determining which donor site—forearm or thigh—was more viable.

After only 15 minutes, she submitted my referral to the surgeon for another surgical consultation.

On May 25 I received an email from my phalloplasty surgeon’s scheduler, informing me that they have received my referral and are actively working on scheduling, but that they are experiencing delays.

I ended my investigation here once I had the referral for the top and bottom surgery. I never used my testosterone pump.

Final Thoughts

In fewer than 300 days, based on a set of superficial and shifting thoughts about my gender and my “embodiment goals” triggered by the mere mention of “gender” in a form letter from my primary care physician, and driven by what could only be described as minor discomforts, Kaiser Permanente’s esteemed “multi-disciplinary team” of “gender specialists” was willing, with enthusiasm—while ignoring mental health concerns, history of sexual trauma, and rapidly escalating surgical requests—to prescribe life-altering medications and perform surgeries to remove my breasts, uterus, and vagina, close my vaginal opening, and attempt a complex surgery with high failure and complication rates to create a functionless representation of a penis that destroys the integrity of my arm or thigh in the process.

This describes the supposedly meticulous, lengthy, and safety-focused process that a Kaiser patient must undergo to embark on a journey to medically alter their body. No clinician questioned my motivations. No one showed concern that I might be addressing a mental health issue through radical and irreversible interventions that wouldn’t address my amorphous problems. There were no discussions about how these treatments would impact my long-term health, romantic relationships, family, or sex life. I charted the course. The clinicians followed my lead without question. The guiding issue was what I wanted to look like.

No other medical field operates with this level of carelessness and disregard for patient health and welfare. No other medical field addresses issues of self-perception with surgery and labels it “medically necessary.” No other medical field is this disconnected from the reality of the patients it serves.

Kaiser has traded medicine for ideology. It’s far beyond time we stop the ruse of considering “gender-affirming” interventions as anything approaching medical care.

This isn’t the first time Kaiser Permanente has been in the news for completely disregarding medical safeguards in the name of “gender-affirming care.” As girls, Chloe Cole and Layla Jane became convinced that they were born in the wrong body and were actually boys on the inside. Doctors at Kaiser ignored their underlying conditions and instead prescribed testosterone and removed their breasts. Both Cole and Jane have since detransitioned and are currently suing Kaiser.

The fact that children and vulnerable adults are being exploited in this massive ideological experiment is not just tragic; it’s deeply disturbing, especially considering it has evolved into a billion-dollar industry.

I hope that by sharing my story, I can bring more focused scrutiny to the medical scandal unfolding not just at Kaiser but also at medical centers and hospitals across the Western world. These institutions have completely abandoned medical safeguards for patients who claim to be confused about their “gender,” and I aim to awaken more parents and assist them in protecting their children.

This is completely insane.

Apologists online are running around saying, but she didn't mean it, she was lying, she was pretending...

It doesn't matter.

Any kind of security, penetration or integrity test is insincere too. When security researchers compromise Microsoft's operating system or Google's browser or whatever, "but they didn't mean it" is not a defence to a discovered security flaw. It doesn't matter that the security researchers didn't plan to steal data or money or identities. The flaw in the system is there regardless.

It doesn't matter that it was insincere. Because the workers didn't know that. They never checked, never asked questions, never tested. They had been taught and instructed to never ask any questions. They did what they were supposed to. And the system failed spectacularly. Because that's what "gender affirming care" means.

Additionally, the claim that Beth Bourne committed fraud is an outright lie. A patient cannot bill. They do not have the authority. The medical clinic is the only one that can bill, and they must supply a diagnosis and a medical necessity.

If they didn't diagnose her and just wrote down what she said, then they committed fraud. If they claim they did diagnose her, then they committed fraud, because the diagnosis they concocted was bogus. This, by the way, is actually going on. Clinics are reporting fake endocrine and other disorders to get blockers, hormones and other interventions. Jamie Reed and other whistleblowers have documented evidence of this. Beth Bourne is not responsible for what the clinic does. They have medical licenses and legal responsibility. Not her.

Additionally, anyone who actually read the article would know how she tested the system. She said things like, "I've always been not that feminine. So, maybe I get my boobs removed." And they said, "sure." Instead of saying, "wait, why do you think that?" Framing it as her lying is itself a lie. They violated their ethical obligations. That much is incontrovertible. And it's directly the result of "gender affirming care," where clinics and clinicians rubber-stamp anything deemed "trans" based entirely on ideological, not medical, grounds.

#Beth Bourne #undercover #undercover investigation #gender identity ideology #queer theory #nonbinary #non binary #top surgery #bottom surgery #double mastectomy #bilateral mastectomy #gender affirming care #gender affirming healthcare #gender affirmation #affirmation model #medical scandal #medical malpractice #medical corruption #religion is a mental illness

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joeys-babe · 8 months

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Joey B Imagines: Kindergarten

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summary: after your daughters 4th birthday, her first day of kindergarten hits your husband joe like a brick wall. you seem to be the only person that can make him feel remotely any better about his first born growing up.

warnings: none, fluff

pairing: joe burrow x reader

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shortly after savanna’s 4th birthday the realization that she'd be off to kindergarten soon hit joe like a brick.

joe was so nervous about the whole thing, even though he was gone a lot because of football he always knew that his little girl was safe with his wife or other family members. the thought of his first born being in a building with complete strangers freaked him out. y/n tried her best to calm her husband down, reassuring him that sav would do great because of her social personality.

"what is she misses us?" - joe

"listen, she's going to be too distracted with making friends and learning to even think about us joe." - you

y/n hoped that attending the open house would ease some of joes worries because he'd be able to meet the woman that would be sav's teacher along with being able to explore the place his daughter would be 4 hours a day and 4 days a week.

while there, sav was shown her cubby, her assigned seat, and she met her teacher Mrs. Martin. after sav talked to her teacher for a little bit, you suggested she go play with some of her classmates while you and joe talked to Mrs. Martin.

you asked questions, and observed that Mrs. Martin had a passion for teaching by how she talked about it.

due to the fact it was a private school, sav had to take tests to get in. there were just a couple things that they had as requirements for the kids to know before hand. joe was the one that taught her everything, there were many nights that you two would be sitting in bed and joe would be making flashcards to test sav on the next morning. you found it cute. joes nerdy side had been one of your favorite things about him since you were introduced to it in the beginning of your relationship.

Mrs. Martin quickly noticed how joe kept nervously looking at sav playing with the other kids instead of intently listening to what she was saying like you were.

"she's going to do great Mr. Burrow, her test scores have been astounding and she has exceptional social skills for her age. you've prepared her well." - Mrs. Martin

"i know she will. it's just hard, she's my first born and she's growing up so fast.." - joe

Mrs. Martin nodded before she moved on to talk to other parents.

that night after tucking sav in, joe cuddled up to you in bed.

"you okay?" - you laced your fingers into his hair, knowing it comforted him

"no." - joe sniffled

"she's gonna do great joey.." - you kissed his forehead

"i just can't believe she's old enough to be in school. i know it's just kindergarten but then comes 8th grade graduation.. and the next thing you know she's off to college." - joe cried

"baby..." - you held joe in your chest

"i know you're probably thinking i'm just being overdramatic.." - joe

"no, not at all joe. how about we get some sleep though, okay?" - you

"okay. can you hold me?" - joe

"of course" - you wrapped your arms around him and entangled your legs with his

(y/n's pov)

the next morning was even more rough. joe tried to busy himself by getting up super early and making pancakes for sav, along with checking her backpack three times to make sure she had everything and packing her lunch.

when i woke sav up to start getting her ready for her first day, she seemed excited to go to school.

after i got her in her first day dress, she told me about everything she was looking forward to as i curled her bleach blonde hair.

once she was completely ready i told her that breakfast was waiting for her downstairs.

"morning dada!!" - savanna yelled when she saw joe sitting at the kitchen counter

"mornin princess! you excited for school?" - joe

"yup! i like school." - savanna

"you need to eat your pancakes real quick so we can get going." - joe

in the time span of sav eating her pancakes, joe and i had gotten dressed and were ready to go.

as i was getting all of sav’s extra stuff put in the backseat, along with a gift basket for her teacher, in the corner of my eye i saw the sweetest sight. sav had her backpack on, lunchbox in hand and joe had her posed in front of the front door as he took pictures of her.

when joe told her that he was done she ran over to the car and climbed in, leaving joe and i alone for a second.

"i wish we would've picked the homeschooling option." - joe

"well with how much you're away because of football it would be more me then we.” - you

"exactly why we didn't pick the homeschooling option." - joe kissed your cheek

"i love you." - you smiled

"love you too, babe." - joe

you held joes hand the entire way to the school and you felt his grip get tighter as you guys pulled into the parking lot.

"i'm gonna stay in the car, you okay to walk her up there?" - you

"yeah, i'd prefer it actually. i’ll be right back, momma." - joe kissed you before he got out of the car

"bye savvy! have a good day!" - you watched joe get her out of her car seat

"bye momma!" - savanna replied before joe shut the door

joe held sav tightly as he walked up to the door.

"good morning miss savanna! morning Mr. Burrow!" - Mrs. Martin

"mornin!" - savanna

joe put sav down and crouched down. he had to grab her hands before she could run away.

"you're gonna do great sweetheart. remember everything i taught you?" - joe

"yup!" - savanna

"you're so smart princess, just like your momma." - joe smiled

"can i go? i wanna play!" - savanna

"yup, here give me a hug before you go." - joe

sav wrapped her small arms around joes neck as he hugged her tight. he really didn't want to let go.

"have a good day okay? you can tell me all about it when i pick you up." - joe

"i will daddy!" - savanna

joe hugged her one last time and placed a kiss on her cheek.

once he stood up, sav was ready to take off into the school.

"bye, sweetie." - joe attempted to smile

"bye dada!" - savanna turned around and ran into the building

joe stood there for a few seconds and watched her walk up to a couple other girls her age and then put her backpack in her cubby that was in the hallway in front of the classroom.

"you need a tissue?" - Mrs. Martin

joe didn't even realize he was crying till she said that.

"nah i'm good... i'm gonna get going." - joe

your heart broke when you saw joe slowly walking back to the car. he was visibly upset. that was a rare case when it came to joe.

once you guys got to the house and the twins were occupied in their room, you attempted to console joe.

"you need to relax a bit baby.." - you hugged him

"i know.. i really don't know why this is so hard for me." - joe

"your first born starting school is a big deal, most parents have the same reaction." - you

"mhm. i cant wait to pick her up." - joe laid his head on your shoulder as you rubbed his back

"you need to distract yourself. don't you have some film to watch?" - you

"yeah, i do actually. i'll be in the office if you need me, okay?" - joe

"okay." - you smiled and pecked his lips

the remainder of the day at home, joe tried to distract himself by watching film and occasionally playing around with the you.

but, with all the time you'd spent being with joe you could easily read him. you could tell he was counting down the hours till it would be time to pick sav up from school.

you were washing dishes with your airpods in when all of a sudden joe rushed into the kitchen and grabbed his car keys off the key hanger.

you paused your music and stopped your husband before he ran out of the kitchen and into the garage.

"joe.. baby where are you going?" - you

"the school." - joe

"school doesn't end for another 45 minutes.. we live 15 minutes away." - you

"i know. i want to go early and wait in the parking lot." - joe

you couldn't help but smile; this overprotective dad side of joe was so lovable.

joe still stood there, waiting to hear what you were going to reply with. almost as if he was asking for approval.

"okay, i'll see you in a bit then?" - you

"yeah. bye, i love you!" - joe turned and walked into the garage

"bye, love you!" - you

joe sat in the parking lot of the school for over 30 minutes. he sat scrolling on his phone, kid cudi playing lowly through the cars speakers.

as soon as the clock hit 1:30, joe got out of the car and hurried up to the door. he was the first person in line.

his anxiety levels shot up when a minute had passed and the doors hadn't opened yet.

at 1:32 there was still no sign of the doors opening so he texted you to verify the time sav was dismissed.

hubby💕 - school ends at 1:30 right? it's almost been three minutes and the doors haven't opened yet

before you could even answer, the doors opened and Mrs. Martin wasn't at all surprised to see that joe was the first parent in line.

"savanna burrow!" - Mrs. Martin called out

sav ran outside and up to her dad, joes face lit up as he reached down to grab her hand before walking back to the car.

"how was your day?" - joe

"awesome! i love school. i made a friend! her name is summer!" - sam

"thats greet sweetie. so you're excited to go back tomorrow?" - joe

"yup!" - sam

“i’m so glad you had fun, princess. wanna go to the store with me to get momma some flowers? she needs something after putting up with me today.” - joe mumbled the last part

“sure, daddy!” - sam giggled

god, joe loved his girls.

————————————————————————-

authors note: fluffy dad joe is my favorite ❤️

hope you enjoyed! ❤️

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #cincinnati bengals #joey b #joe burrow fan fic

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1lenii · 11 months

Text

Fuck them kids

Miles (G) Morales x F!Reader

⚠️⚠️⚠️THE SONG IS FOR SATIRE PURPOSES⚠️⚠️⚠️

The classic, don’t underestimate me cs I’m a girl

As you know, bonding time with miles as he proves “Fuck these kids, that’s 4ever the moto” - Kali

⚠️cursing, degrading means against children, bullying if you wanna call it that, mentions of violence(only for the game and physical irl)

For the sake of decency these middle schoolers are in 8th grade and miles and (Y/N) are sophomores

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Fuck you and your dead rat dumbass, where your mom at”

(Y/N) peeps her head from the crack of her boyfriends room, as he yelling more than normal at his game.

“Oh yea?? What you gonna do go cry about it?”

(Y/N) heard murmuring from the other side of the headset that’s seemed to respond in a more ruder tone then last time,

through the headset that rested atop of Miles head leaving a dent in the half that had his Afro and sitting perfectly on the side that had 2 braids

(Basically half out and other half braided; with a hair pick from more visual representation)

‘Seems he got distracted while doing his hair again’ (Y/N) mentally notes, and imaginary sweat drop forming next to her eye brow

“Uh Miles..”

“What.”

“Are those the same middle schoolers from down the block?”

“No..”

The uncertainty of Miles tone gave it away, (Y/N) open the door even more allowing her body access to the room, positioning her self behind Miles gaming chair

“Don’t you think you should be nicer?”

“Nice? When was that a option for you” Miles side eyes you before returning back to the aggressive violation that is shooting

(Y/N) slightly gasps, putting a hand to her chest for effect while pouting

“I’m nice”

“When you want to be”

“I guess, you should still be nicer to them, there only in middle school after all”

“Nu uh ma, fuck these kids” Miles says through the headset noise, violently pressing at his controller

“Papi you can’t be violating kids because they shooting better or whatever it they’re doing” (Y/N) says not being able to contain her laugh

“Como esto es un chiste, why don’t you come play” he’s say taking off his headset and gesturing it towards you, raising a eyebrow in the process

(Y/N) takes the invitation taking the headset and adjusting the muffs to fit her head, Miles pulls her by the waist adjusting her so she sit right on his lap, passing her the controller

“AiI Ma I taught you the basics not to long ago, do your best”

“You talking knowing damn well I’m better then you”

“Not true”

“Keep dreaming pretty boy”

*initiate operating: the mic is now on*

(For my sake a yours I’ll change of the writing style)

Kid 3: Yooo miles you back? I was getting tired of cooking you

(Y/N): oh were you really?

Kid 2: whoa.. who you?

(Y/N): his girlfriend ya kids clueless

Kid 1: booo I got a girl for a teammate wtf

Kid 2: must suck LMAO

Kid 3: don’t worry girly I’ll make sure you the one ending up clueless

(Y/N) just laughs along with Miles who whispers ‘watch yaself’ into the mic

Few minutes into the game and (Y/N) already gotten 20 points for her team

Kid 1: woah I didn’t know your that good

Kid 2: don’t praise her the game ain’t over dickhead

*the game has now ended, with a score of 15 to 62 Miles/Kid1 Wins*

The In game announcer announces as (Y/N) cracks her fingers, “and that’s how’s it’s done little boys, before ya go assuming ya better then a girl, humble yourself maybe you’ll get a girl after”

Kid 3 gf: uhhh who are you talking about little girl watch who you talk to

This random girl appears on the mic, sounding sassy like almost irking (Y/N)

“Don’t test me, who you calling little girl” (Y/N) says with a sadistic smile

“You, what are you deaf, it’s on sight when I see you, don’t talk to my man again”

And with that the girl left the call for kid 3

“Can’t wait to see how that pans out” Miles laughs into your back hugging at your waist

“That little bitch trying” (Y/N) says with the same smile

“It’s fuck them kids right?”

(Y/N) sighs leaving the conversation open for further and future elaborations

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s been three days since that game, (Y/N)

Has been chilling knowing she would get touched ‘obviously their empty threats’ (Y/N) deadpanned

While walking the block she catches up with Miles who HAS FINALLY DONE HIS HAIR, was in front of 2 kids around his height and girl

“Ohoho look who decided to show up”

(Y/N) analyzes all of them, “who are you?”

“Better remember me little girl”

“I’m not so little if you looking up to me😭 it’s was on sight, right? I’m waiting and make this quick” (Y/N) dropping her bag food over to Miles, who was literally un phased knowing how this was about play out

“Oh fo’real? Ii girl if you says so” the girl from the match 3 days ago, rolls up her sleeves already swinging

(Y/N) dodge dragging Miles by the hand leaving them behind

The girl fell flat on her face with her bf attending to her

While the other kids said ‘hey!’ And a bunch of other things to retaliate too

(Making this cliche bare with me)

(Y/N) and Miles walk further and deeper into the street into the fading color of the sunset hitting the streets and the buildings with in

“Miles, fuck them kids”

Miles chuckles leaning in to kiss the top of her head, smiling shortly after

“Fuck them kids”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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spuffybot · 11 months

Text

I just saw that Oklahoma is working on a book ban that would remove all mentions of sex. This is…beyond dangerous and scary. It’s also reflective of the true motivations behind all of this: to reinforce gender roles, to subjugate women, to enforce heteronormativity, and to prevent children and teens from empowering themselves with knowledge.

When you keep “sex ed” in the home you get pregnant teens, immense shame around sex and sexuality, increased risk of STI’s, increased risk of abuse, and queer people with no safe way to explore or express their identity.

When I was in 8th grade, a trashy romance novel changed my life. My parents didn’t talk about sex. My mom would make me cover my eyes during sex scenes, or fast forward them. The impression this gave me was that sex was something truly awful and scary. She never talked to me about puberty, never talked to me about dating (forbidden, of course), and never ever talked to me about sex. I was the last girl in my class to shave their legs, I never knew what the other kids were talking about, and I had immense fear and shame around sex.

I started to recognize my queer feelings when I was 12, and not to derail, but this only amplified my feelings of terror.

Then, in eighth grade, a friend gave me a book, because she knew I liked fairies and I think she sensed I was anxious about sex. The book was A Kiss of Shadows by Laurel K Hamilton. Now, i could go on about how problematic Hamilton is as an author, but that’s not the point. At the time, this book opened a whole new world to me. The protagonist, Merry Gentry, was a beautiful, confidant, and brave young woman. And she had sex. A lot of sex. And she wasn’t ashamed of it. In fact, it was part of her power and part of her story. And she didn’t just have sex, she experienced pleasure, and her partners prioritized her enjoyment and treated her with respect.

To be a young girl on the brink of my first romantic relationships and having this book be my first introduction to sex, was a game changer. Merry taught me about consent and protection, that sex and love could co-exist, or not. She showed me that a woman could be sexual and still powerful, respected, and desirable. She defied everything I had ever been led to believe about sex and she drastically altered how I felt about my own desires.

Books are knowledge and experience. They challenge what we know and how we think. They expose us to people we would have never met otherwise. They connect us on a deeply personal and human level.

These bans will hurt real people. They will make small worlds even smaller, and leave kids like me without the chance to see a better way.

Please don’t buy into this puritanical censorship. Kids learning about themselves, their bodies, their identities, and their options is not harmful. Leaving kids in the dark is harmful. Cutting off their resources is harmful. Denying them autonomy is harmful.

#book banning #anti book bans #don’t ban books #book bans

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daughter-of-sapph0 · 4 months

Note

The people arguing that "oh it's just a silly word don't be so mad" reminds me of the comic "Trigger Warning: Breakfast" and how even the simplest word can hold memories of trauma for someone else.

not to be too personal, but you're absolutely right. my experience isn't the same as everyone else, but I've specifically grown up and dealt with a shit ton of trauma.

I was raised and treated as a boy up until high school. but never one of "the boys". I was always an outcast. as young as first grade, I remember even the teacher saw me as something other than a boy. she said "they boys in this class are way too loud" and when I said I wasn't talking, she said "oh not you, I was referring to the Boys". the few friends I had treated me differently than the other boys at school. I was constantly told I wasn't allowed to enjoy something or participate in an activity because it wasn't for me. I was excluded by boys and girls my age.

I was called a faggot in 2nd grade. at that time I didn't even know what being gay was. it certainly wasn't talked about the same as it is today, and definitely wasn't mentioned to 8 year olds. but I remember it, as clear as day. Marcus called me a faggot because I committed the unforgivable homosexual crime of wearing velcro shoes. I didn't even know it was supposed to be bad at first. when I told a teacher "Marcus said my shoes make me a faggot. what does that mean?" they wouldn't tell me, and instead said I should learn to tie my laces.

I went to a small catholic middle school. there were 18 kids in the entirety of 6th grade. I don't know why or how, but most of them found some aspect of my personality to hate and use against me. "you like Nintendo games? you draw anime? you play with Legos? you don't like basketball? you answered a question in class too quickly? you've never had a girlfriend? your uniform is a handmedown? well then you're just a faggot. a downey (a nickname they had for people with down syndrome). a pussyboy. a cocksucker. a retard. an n word (I was white, and so was everyone else in my grade, so this one made the least sense).

I told my dad that I was being bullied because I didn't play basketball. instead of defending me, calling the school, teaching me strategies to deal with bullying, or even just showing an ounce of support... he taught me how to fight and forced me to sign up for basketball. I played basketball for all three years of middle school. jv in 6th grade, varsity in 7 and 8th. I sucked. I scored maybe 20 points in all my games throughout the entirety of three years. I was the shortest player, not athletic at all, had terrible hand-eye coordination, and just outright sucked. I wanted to quit every single day. I skipped going to practice and hid in the bathroom. I never felt like I was part of the team. they always excluded me. the coach gave me about five minutes of game time out of pity, only at the end of a game and only if we were losing terribly. every other time I was on the bench the entire game. not that I cared. I'd rather not play at all.

I got a girlfriend in 7th grade mainly out of peer pressure. there was a girl I liked in the 6th grade, who I'm just gonna call P for privacy reasons. me and P were really close friends. we liked the same video games and youtubers and shows and music and art. she was super creative and funny. although neither of us knew why, she was bullied as much as I was. looking back, we both had severe undiagnosed autism and adhd. I never really liked her romantically though. I thought she was nice and really wanted to hang out with her and I even kissed her a couple times. but I really wasn't interested in women at the time. when I told her, we had a huge break up that summer, they told everyone I cheated on them, and we didn't talk at all for most of my 8th grade. eventually we got back together, and were friends in high school. it seems really mean to say that the only reason I dated her was to stop people from calling me gay. but it was part of the reason why I did date her.

I was in chorus in middle school. I was a pretty good singer and had a nice range. I was always bullied because of it, but I didn't care. chorus met every month at one of the catholic high schools. it was a big meeting of people from all the catholic schools in the county. and at the end of the year there was a big performance. it was the one thing about catholic school I actually honestly enjoyed.

there was one kid who was probably the biggest bully. Jacob was the only person shorter than me, and was probably bullied just as bad as I was when he was back in 5th grade before I arrived. and he took out all his anger on me. constantly picking on me, punching me, slapping me. he used to sit behind me on the bus and poke my head. I tried to move seats and change busses. but nothing worked. one day, I was fed up. I used my father's advice and slapped him in the face. not hard, but enough to say "stop fucking with me".

Jacob ran home crying. he told his parents, and his parents called the school, and the school called my parents. I was suspended for a week, because I lightly slapped a bully in the face after he repeated punched me and called me a retarded faggot pussyboy. even though I told teachers and parents multiple times that Jacob was a problem, no one cared until he started crying.

I was forced to write a handwritten apology to him. I fell behind after being out of school for a week. I was forced to quit chorus. I had to call my grandma, who was dying with cancer at the time, that I wouldn't be at the chorus concert she had been looking forward to all year.

I attempted suicide twice. once by cutting, once by hanging. I felt like shit. I felt like no one, not even my own parents, cared about me. I had no idea what was wrong with me. after one of my teachers got aggressive with me and pulled my arm too hard, I tried to run away from home. I was too afraid to tell them what happened, because either they wouldn't believe me, or I'd get in trouble for being a victim of abuse. to this day, I've never told my parents that one of my teacher's grabbed me. but I do know that the particular person in question is no longer a teacher, and also probably dead too.

I went to a public high school. not too many people from middle school went to the same high school, but a few did. namely P and Jacob. freshman year was rough. I took chorus class, but did really badly in my other classes. I didn't realize it at the time, but I had major major major depression. near the end of that year, my mom took my to a psychiatrist. they prescribed me vyvanse and lexipro. at first I didn't want to take any pills. I had the horrible idea in my head that they would change me and make me a different person. but eventually I did start taking them. my suicidal thoughts went away, my grades improved, and I started making more friends.

sophomore year was much better. I hung out with P and friends from chorus a lot. I took an art class with the best teacher ever. I started to explore my sexuality since I finally had a support system. I became more active on tumblr and remade my blog which I still have to this day.

about halfway through the year, there was a school shooting. it happened right in front of my art classroom. I saw someone get shot and fall to the floor. as our class hid, hearing the paramedics desperately try to save a girl from being shot through her skull, and armed cops storm the halls, I cried and wondered how this could happen, and why it was happening to us. because someone was shot right in front of our classroom, they had to clean up the hallway before we were allowed to evacuate. eventually we were moved to a different room, but not before being escorted by a tile floor stained red with blood. I found out that a classmate of mine, J, was shot in the head and was in the hospital in critical condition. another boy was shot in the leg and injured. and the shooter killed himself. I held out hope that J would survive. when I heard that she was taken off life support, I stopped taking my pills, and regressed back into depression.

school was canceled for about a month after that. everyone was hurt. our entire class was given therapy. I spent years trying to get the image of a dead body out of my head. I looked for support everywhere I could. I was active on a social media platform called google plus at the time, which was like if reddit and 4chan had a baby, and that baby was a website populated by 13 year olds who made an account to comment on youtube videos and decided "you know what? what the hell. I'll use this". it was absolute hell. when I talked about my experience and survivor's guilt, I was bullied and harassed and called a liar and told to kill myself for trying to "take away people's guns".

eventually, I met a friend in my Spanish class. his name was T. and he helped me through a super rough time in my life. we were close, both identified as pansexual, liked the same video games, and both used tumblr. we soon started dating, and he helped me learn more about transgender people. it was at this time I started to identify as nonbinary. no one treated me like I was a boy, so why should I be bothered to identify as one? this was so freeing. I felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I started going to my local PFLAG meetings and talking about my experience with others. meeting other queer people, both in school and out of school, helped me feel... normal.

junior year was healing for me. I started driving lessons, took chorus again, took an art class with T, and spent more time with him. eventually, I started to realize that being nonbinary wasn't right for me. I wondered if I could identify as a trans woman, but felt I didn't deserve to. I didn't want to play into the autogynophile myth, and I felt like wanting to be a woman was something that other people deserved but not me. being online during the rise of jkr's hate movement against trans people did not help at all. but with tons of love and support, T helped me, and I started publicly using she/her pronouns at school.

I told my mom, and I'll always remember the day I came out to her, Feb 7th 2019. the day I started living. she started taking me to her woman's group therapy, and there I spoke with a therapist who diagnosed me with gender dysphoria and recommended I start hormones as soon as possible. I was put on a wait list, but had no idea what the time frame would be like.

coming out to my dad was worse. he was cutting fish on the back of his truck with a huge knife. I told him "hey, the reason my is taking me to her therapy sessions. it's because I think I might be a woman. I think I'm transgender." and after a pause, I told him "I'm sorry" before running inside and crying. for the briefest of moments, I was worried he would hurt me with the knife. I know now that he would never do such a thing. but I at the time I was scared of him and how he would react.

that summer, me and T broke up since they were going away for college, but we remained friends. it was also around this time where I started to learn a bit about kink and s&m. I also changed my blog name to daughter-of-sapph0 at this time I'm pretty sure.

summer ending quickly, and I started senior year. I was dual enrollment, which meant I took high school classes in the morning and courses at community college in the afternoon. I had some amazing high school teachers, but was unfortunately stuck with J for two of my four classes. I also took sociology and art courses at college. I was starting to feel better about myself. it was around this time that I started looking into Judaism as a religion, and considered converting.

around the end of 2019, I was pretty active online. I had a decent presence on twitter, mostly in telling transphobes and nazis to kill themselves. my main claim to fame is calling Graham Lineham a sad pathetic wet fart who spends his time jerking off to tranny porn and then going on twitter and saying we deserve to die. he replied to me directly and called me a groomer, despite me being 17 at the time. I pointed that out, and asked him if calling minors "pedophiles" on twitter is why his wife left him, only to be blocked by him immediately after. that was honestly my proudest moment ever.

it was also around this time that I made the worst mistake of my life. I posted a selfie on a lesbian subreddit, and received a few positive comments, mainly from other trans lesbians. and then I had my first ever stalker. this person harassed me everywhere. I complained to the mods, but all they could do was ban them from the subreddit. they somehow managed to find my tumblr, and then my twitter. they made multiple accounts and sent me rape and doxx threats daily. I tried reporting them everywhere I went. when I spoke out and went public about my abuse and stalking and harassment and rape threats, they called me a liar and started a smear campaign against me on twitter. I went pretty inactive on tumblr, completely remade my twitter, and never touched reddit again. eventually, the harassment slowed down.

I had been out as a woman for about a year now. the misgendering and harassment at school was infrequent, but manageable (okay that's a lie). but I do have one positive memory. me and a few other seniors had permission to drive to school. one of those seniors was J. and he drives like a fucking asshole. him and his friend both drive at the exact same speed on the only two lane road, making it impossible for me to pass. one day I tried to pass my driving in the median, only for them to speed up. I needed to get up to like 80mph before I was able to safely pass one of them. the other one quickly sped up and passed me. as the road changed to one lane, I was trapped between them, as one of them constantly break checked me and the other tailgated me. after I got home safely, I got both their plates and reported them for irresponsible and reckless driving. idk if anything came of it. but the next day I asked J's friend if he drives a red truck because his driving sucks. he said he didn't, some other short white boy did. I said "oh sorry. you two look exactly the same, so I can't tell you apart" and he came up with the incredible comeback "you look like a girl", to which I responded "yes, thank you for noticing." this was honestly the proudest moment of my life.

the second half of my senior year was going pretty well. really the only things that could ruin it are a spike in transphobic violence, my stalker coming back to harass me even more, and a massive society-halting pandemic that puts everything on pause and ruins my dreams of college and sends me into a depressive spiral that I try desperately to heal through sex. good thing that wouldn't happen. right?!?

I'd write more, but I'm exhausted. it's late for me right now. I'm sorry for using this anon to traumadump and give my whole life story, but I feel it's important to share.

I have ptsd. I've struggled with trauma and depression and suicide my entire life. I've constantly been seen as lesser, unworthy, disgusting, horrible, wrong. sometimes it's big things like constant bullying or rape threats or someone trying to kill my while driving. other times is as simple as a single word.

I'll refrain from giving the 2020-2024 life story for right now. but I hope that reading this at least gives you a bit of insight into the trauma that I had to deal with growing up. and I'm one of the lucky ones. I have supportive parents and friends and therapy and hormones and basically everything I need to survive. and I still attempted suicide multiple times, I still have trauma, I still was harassed and threatened and stalked. imagine how much worse it is for other people who aren't as fortunate as me.

it's "just a word". if it's so small and meaningless, then you can just choose to not use it. it's not that hard. we're asking, begging, for the bare minimum level of respect here. and you can't even give us that.

#dostxt #asks #anon #long post

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sillygayoscfan · 2 months

Text

random humanstuck headcanons cuz i was bored 🤷🏻

when grades/ages arent specifically mentioned assume the beta kids/trolls are in 6th and the alpha kids/trolls are in 8th

the strilondes have a crazy ass family tree

idk who the parents are but whatever ermm the siblings are: dirk, roxy, hal, dave, rose, jasp/japser (jasprose), peta (davepeta, techincally unrelated, got unofficially adopted into the group), dove (davesprite, i KNOW HES A CROW but like i think dove fits 4 now its a work in progress), karkat (obligatory sibling partner role), kanaya (obligatory sibling partner role), jade (obligatory sibling partner role), caliope (obligatory sibling partner role), nepeta (related to peta and comes over enough they count them), john/j/june (best friend family pass), jane (best friend family pass), jake (obligatory sibling partner role), it goes on

they just started out w/ like the 7 of them and just started adopting people in

jade, peta, nepeta, jasp, terezi, and dove wear furry and therian stuff to school and are NOT ashamed

karkat starts speaking in spanish when hes really mad and dave understands NOTHING but finds it funny

roxy and jane do all that silly teen girl stuff

sleepovers w/ facemasks, gossiping, make up, pillow fights, thats them

oh btw everyones autistic. not even just humanstuck like in canon theyre all autistic

peta couldnt decide on a name while changing it and decided itd be funny if they took the ne off their sibling’s name

vriska is like if heather chandler was less slutty and even more bitchy. shes that kinda popular girl

sollux hacks the school computers 2 bypass shit

every1 likes him bc he taught them how 2 let the computers access cool math games

jane and john are those kids that bring the craziest shit to bake sales and class parties

in like highschool tavros got a septum piercing to look cool but it kept getting infected 🙁

terezi has the whole school mapped out in her head she can get around just fine

gamzee deals weed 4 like a quarter behind the highschool

feferi and eridan are theatre kids

aradia had 2 get sent 2 the office bc she kept bringing animal bones and stuff to show and tell

eridan cried for like 4 hours straight when he didnt get elected 4 stupid council. i meant student but typed stupid and thats funny so im keeping it

dave plays fortnite

aradia does dance

Yeah my think pan is all out 4 now so byeeee :]

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fitheghosty · 2 years

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i present to thee : 👹 messy headcanon’s 👹

- Ricky used sign language / everyone in the choir learned it so they could communicate with him better (Mischa and Noel taught him French and Ukrainian swear words in secret) / whenever they’d perform Father Marcus let him sit on a stool beside the other members to sign their songs and invited the Uranium City HOH community to the choir’s concerts and events (mostly for extra money for group activities but also to make Ricky feel more included)

- Mischa’s adoptive parents have a daughter named Arlen that moved out before they adopted him / she is the only member of that cursed family that acknowledges his existence and they are very close despite not seeing each other often / before The Accident Mischa won her a big stuffed rabbit (he calls her ‘зайчик’ which is ‘bunny’ in Ukrainian) from the shooting range / after his death Arlen made all of his (surprisingly good) music into a digital album in his memory

- St. Cassian named the school choir room after the 6 of them and Father Marcus after their passing

- Penny was super new to the school / Ocean and Constance tried to convince her to join the choir but she initially turned them down / she agreed to go watch their performance at the Wonderville Traveling Fair before making a final decision

- Noel is catfishing Mischa as Talia / Talia is a real girl in the Ukraine but Noel reached out to her after Mischa saw her on Facebook and fell in love (she understood his situation and allowed Noel to use her pictures and even taught him Ukrainian) / he’s had a crush on Mischa since he started going to school with them all in the middle of 8th grade and he started talking to him as Talia in their sophomore year / Arlen found out when Mischa and the other kids had a sleep over at her house one night

- Mischa is actually Very protective of the choir members (All of them) but he keeps it secret / people he’s fought in a parking lot : a few guys that catcalled Ocean once, one freshman that stole Ricky’s crutches during their lunch hour, the guy that Noel had a crush on after said guy stood him up on purpose to make fun of him, the man that worked at the ice cream shop across the street that made a nasty comment about Constance’s body, etc

- Ricky has a whole sketchbook dedicated to the space themed cat cafe he wanted to open someday

- Constance and her parents put up pride flags out in front of their bakery that stay out all year round (Noel cried in the bathroom inside the restaurant for 30 minutes when he first saw them)

- Ocean always waited for the other choir members to leave school first to make sure they were safe before she drove home and she’d offer rides to whoever didn’t have one (usually Ricky and Penny) but pretend to be burdened by it

- Noel always brought tacos from work to their choir performances/rehearsals so that they could eat together

aaa oh my goodness rtc headcanons!!! yay!!! thank you very much good fellow

YES!!! I love any hc that includes ricky signing/the choir learning how to sign for him. also teaching eachother languages is so cute omg :') I also LOVE that you gave ricky a bigger job in the choir, it always felt so sucky that they never found anything for him to do, and he was always just supposed to stand there

not you giving mischa someone that actually cares for him in uranium I'm gonna cry😭😭 also "bunny" adorable. and all of his music does slap and I hope people listened to it after he passed bcs he's a lyrical genius period

finally, st. cassian doing something right. they deserve it, and that makes me happy

ooo that's really interesting, I feel like penny definitely would turn them down at first. which is honestly why I find the "penny was in the choir" theory a little unbelievable. it does make sense that ocean would see a new student and spring on the opportunity as well

YES!!! THE NOEL CATFISH THEORY!!! HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAV RTC THEORIES. I like ur little spin on it tho. I love that you had talia in on it

mischa definitely strikes me as someone who definitely would punch someone for his friends (family) he loves them, and if he even heard a single sentence of vial language towards his friends..the person who said it better watch out

awwww,, I feel like constance would definitely help his cafe dream come true

noel😭😭 he deserves to see some support in his home town. I've always had a hc that constance's parents are the best out of all of the choir's parents, and this really just helps that hc and I adore it

ocean is the friend who loves her friends but doesn't want them to know it fr. to add to this: I feel like she would try to purposely make opportunities where she can drive the choir bcs she always has so much fun with them, and enjoys their company

I can just imagine ocean being like "eww noel, do you seriously think we're gonna eat that?" and noel gives her a glare and she rolls her eyes and starts eating cuz she secretly loves taco bell

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isara0408 · 4 months

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Now, to put some backstory in Yandere Taro and his family :)

I'm going to be putting a timeline for him along with some headcanons for him along with Hanako, too (and their families).

Timeline

2003- Taro Yamada was born. During his birth, he didn't cry. He was a quiet baby once he came out.

2004- Osana Najimi was born.

2005- Hanako Yamada was born. During her birth, she was the same as her brother. She was a quiet baby. Taro was 2, and Osana was 1. During this time, the two were always together because their parents were friends.

2008- Taro was 5 years old when his father confirmed that he was born with the Yamada condition. During this time, it's where Taro noticed how different he was from other children and from Osana, mostly. Here is also where his father starts teaching him his skills of murdering, getting away with it, etc.

2009- Osana was told by Taro's father about the condition and explained to her about it. Osana promised to be by Taro's side and always keep him company.

2010- Hanako is confirmed to have the Yamada Condition as well by her father. She was taught the same thing by her father of getting away with murder, murdering, etc.

2015- He was in 7th grade. He was 12 years old at the time. This was where he took his first victim's life.

2016- He was in 8th grade. He was 13 years old at the time. This was where he took his second victim's life. The case of the first victim's murder was considered a cold case.

2017- The case of the second victim's murder was considered a cold case as well, and the time when Taro entered high school.

2021- Taro graduates high school and enrolls in Akademi. He meets Budo Masuta and befriends him.

2022- Osana enrolls in Akademi. She meets Raibaru at the end of the semester of Akademi.

2023- Hanako enrolls in Akademi after some convincing from her father to the headmaster and the CEO of Kusha Corp. Osana and Raibaru become best friends. Taro finds his senpai.

Taro had two victims while he was in middle school.

Victim #1 : Aadiya Tamasshi.

Age: 11.

Death: killed with a rock.

Aadiya means "first" while Tamasshi means "Soul" or "Spirit"

Aadiya was Taro's first victim during middle school. Aadiya was known to bully Osana for being timid and not standing up for herself. She even teased and threatened her on cutting her hair if she told anyone or just to scare her to see her cry.

Once Taro found out the truth about the bullying, he followed Aadiya when she was walking home from school. Once they were alone, Taro grabbed a big rock and immediately attacked her. With the same rock, he hit her head over and over, even her face. Taro continued, trying to quit her screaming, but once she was dead, her face was completely unrecognizable. With that, Taro got rid of the rock by throwing it in the river and washed his hands there too before leaving her body there.

Once her body was found, the police couldn't recognize her. They had to use dental work to identify her. They tried to find the murderer but there wasn't enough evidence on the scene.

To this day, people who walk by that spot where her body is found. People could hear a little girl crying or screaming during the night. Her murder case was considered a cold case.

That was Taro's first victim. The first soul to go.

Victim #2: Reiko ( I need a last name for her)

Age: 12

Death: A knife.

Reiko means "ghost child"

Reiko was known to bully Hanako once she entered middle school. She would bully Hanako for how different she was ( Her condition). She would push her around, tease her, or drop things on her since Hanako never reacted or responded.

Taro took it in his own hands once Hanako told him about it. Taro grabbed a knife from his kitchen and put it in his bookbag without having his mother or father seeing him. He took it to school and waited until the end of the day to follow Reiko while Hanako stayed with Osana. Once he found the right moment, he pulled out the knife from his book bag and buried the knife inside of her skull, killing her immediately. With that, Taro got rid of her body, trying to make sure no more blood was spilled. He threw her body in the river and left the scene with the weapon( that was in a plastic bag) in his book bag.

Her body was found in the river weeks later, and there was no evidence since her body was in the river for weeks, so her case was considered a cold case.

To this day, when someone walks by that spot where she was killed, they can see a shadow watching them from the river that her body was found.

That was Taro's second victim. The second soul to go.

Hanako and Osana don't know anything about Taro being involved in those deaths.

Headcanons

Taro and Hanako are very close. They are willing to do everything for each other. They are a team.

Taro would always carry a journal where he wrote his thoughts. He was always alone if Osana or Hanako were not present, so writing was a way to cope with the loneliness besides reading books.

Reading books was a way to escape reality from the empty and incomplete feelings he had. Those books have him something to... imagine and make time go faster.

Taro and Hanako's relationship with their parents is very wholesome. They are very close as family despite their condition. Their mother always teaches them new recipes to do and spends time with them as much as possible. (She does know about the condition). Compared to their father, he is like Ryoba. He teaches them how to get away with murder, clean up the crime scene, etc. Overall, they have a positive relationship.

Hanako does enjoy cute things even if she can't really express it well like people her age. Hanako looks like her little innocent self, but she has the attitude of Nemesis.

Their relationship with their great-grandfather is quite wholesome (in their own way). He always tries to visit them to spend time with them and teach him his skills that he learned during his time when he found his person. Their great-grandfather is 94 and still alive.

Their grandfather (Taro's father's father) is quite a bitch and spoiled.

Taro and Hanako don't have a good relationship with their grandfather.

Unlike Ayano, he can actually talk to Ayano. He just gets nervous at first.

Taro's second friend is Budo. Hanako is barely starting Akademi, so she doesn't have any new friends ( besides Raibaru)

Taro and Hanako have a lot of dark thoughts once they feel annoyed by someone or wasting time on someone who isn't important. (mostly harming them)

The heart hairpin that Hanako has was given by her mother for Hanako to remember the huge love her mother has for her.

Osana and Taro/Hanako

Osana is everything to Taro. Taro is willing to do everything for her to see her happy and safe ( As you can tell by his first victim)

Osana isn't rude to him( like in the game). She's more caring, open, understanding, etc. Osana is there for Taro as much as possible because she knows about the condition. She's willing to do everything for him even if she knows Taro couldn't really express himself well.

Osana would have Taro and Hanako over to her house as a sleepover. It was a way to spend time with each other.

Osana would always buy Taro books for him to read, or they would read together if there was nothing to do.

Taro has been there for Osana many times when her heart was broken by a boy. He wasn't very good at comforting her, but he was there.

The three have matching cat charms because of Osana. Taro and Hanako were forced by her.

If Taro or Hanako are being bullied or hurt in any way, Osana will stand up for them and protect them ( even if it ends up her being bullied too or hurt as well)

Osana allows Taro and Hanako to brush her hair and style it. She trusts them.

When Kaga tries to convince Osana that Taro and Hanako were involved in the deaths of the male rivals, she denies it and pretty much refuses to believe it until she can see the evidence of their involvement, of course.

Extras

Their great-grandfather was only 49 when he killed Toshiro (Kaga's grandfather)

Great-grandfather Yamada ( Don't have a name for him yet) was the one to kill almost every rival his son had. His son only killed two. The rest of the rivals were killed by Great-grandfather Yamada.

He killed Toshiro with a gun. A bullet to the heart.

After the death, the image of Toshiro haunts him.

The reason why he killed Toshiro was because he was getting in the way of his son. Toshiro had a goal of getting rid of Taro's grandfather and put him behind bars for the murders he committed. He wasn't backing down, so Great-grandfather Yamada killed him and tried to kill his wife too, but failed. ( Because of this, it affected Kusha Corp and the way Kaga was raised ( and his father too))

He never met Kaga in person or seen him on TV. He's too old for that, lol. (His reaction is interesting when he does see him)

He spoiled his son a lot. He did everything for him to get his happy ending which is why Taro's grandfather is spoil and a bitch.

He was the one who raised Taro's father. His son was too busy enjoying life with his wife, making sure he got money and what he wanted rather than focusing on his own child.

#yandere #yandere simulator #yanderesim #taro yamada #hanako yamada #osana najimi #yanderetaro #au #ayano x taro #ayano aishi #kaga kusha #swap au #studentcouncilkaga #yamada sibling #yamada siblings #yamada family

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daughterofthereaper02 · 2 years

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What if reader was a kindergarten or middle school teacher and hangman, Bob, rooster are away (have been for over a month) and she’s in her classroom during lunch with a few students and they call - pure fluff

A/N: Yes, figured I would throw in a little extra fluff too ;) This is a little au, lets just say poly couples are normal and aren't so judged in society

You sat at your desk, working on papers as your students talked amongst themselves before leaving for lunch. You taught 8th grade English and you were luck that you had such a good bunch of kids. "Ms. L/N? Can Tommi, Macy, Kayla, and I stay here for lunch" Miranda asked you. You looked up from your papers "You know you can, anyone is welcome to eat here for lunch" you smiled. You looked at the clock, "Okay kids, you know the drill. I'll let you guys out early if you behave and what do we not do this weekend?" you asked as you stood up. "Don't add to the population, don't subtract from the population, and don't do anything that will make you end up in the news, newspaper, or jail" they repeated. You grinned and opened he door, "Get out of here, enjoy your weekend" you said and accepted the hugs of any student who wanted to give one.

You went to your mini fridge as the girls all moved up near your desk and you offered them all a cold bottle of water. You glanced at the picture of you and your boyfriends, sighing as you remembered they wouldn't be home for at least another month. Miranda raised a brow, "You okay Ms. L/n?" she asked. You nodded with a small smile, "Yeah, just missing my boyfriends. They were sent overseas for some mission six months ago" you explained. “We only get to talk every couple of weeks”. You pulled out your lunch, listening to the girls talk about girl and boy problems. Your phone rang and you didn't look when you answered, "Hello?" you asked. "Wow, thought we would get a happier greeting baby" Jake's voice teased. Your eyes widened, "Jake!?" You asked excitedly, glancing down at the phone. You saw them all squeezing into frame. You set up the face time call so they could see you. All the girls got quiet, watching your face light up from seeing them.

“Hi guys! Sorry, I’m in my classroom with some of my students” You said, your tone meaning nothing dirty. “Oh! The ones that keep you company while we’re gone?” Bob said and you laughed, nodding. You were drinking in the sight of them, their faces covered in sweat and dirt. Some how Bradley managed to keep up with that mustache despite all the sweat build up. “Hi Lt. Bradshaw, Seresin, and Floyd!” The girls said. Bradley shook his head with a smile “Hi girls! Thank you for watching our girl while we’re gone” he said. You watched as a look of exhaustion went over their faces “What time is it for you guys?” You asked and they checked, “Uh.. 01:00″ Bob told you and your eyes widened, “We’ve been bouncing around time zones” he admitted. “This is your only down time? Guys, I love you but please get some sleep and take a shower, I can practically smell you all through the phone” you winked. “We wanted to talk to you hun, you haven’t heard anything in weeks” Jake said guiltily. “I know baby” you said with a gentle smile, your face softening “This short call has been the greatest gift you can give me right now, just that I can see you’re all in one piece and okay” you smiled. “Also, thank you for the flowers and all the Amazon deliveries you guys have been sending to the house, I really love the sweet gifts!” you said, showing them the necklace they sent you. It was dress down day so you were actually wearing one of Bradley’s Hawaiian shirts to go with the necklace. You waved to them and blew them a kiss before they had to hang up.

As soon as you did, your head dropped and you let out a deep sigh before looking at the girls “Sorry about that ladies, I know you come into here to talk” you apologized. Tommi shook her head “We understand, its sweet how much you all seem to love each other by just a phone call” she said. You gave a small smile and straightened out your desk. “How can you do it?” Macy asked and you hummed, “As someone who has been dating a service member for years, you learn no news is good news. You’re not getting that knock on your door that they are MIA or KIA. Every little opportunity makes it better. That’s why those calls they make between weeks makes everything so much better” you told them with a smile.

It was a month later when you were told it would be extended even further. You kept up a brave face but you were missing them desperately. You brought the students down to the auditorium for an award ceremony for them at the end of the year. You stood against the wall with some of the other teachers. “Now, we have a very special announcement, there is a county award for a teacher that has gone above and beyond for their students. There is one teacher that comes to mind for everyone here, the one who stays late every day just to help, the one who keeps their door open for anyone to talk to, who has provided the students with a healthy relationship to know they are loved. It seems many of you students and staff voted for this teacher, wanting them to know your absolute love. Ms. L/N!” the principal called, your eyes widening as you went up to collect the award. Everyone was cheering as loud as they could and your face flushed a little as you got up to the podium

“However, what many do not know is Ms. L/N has been struggling this school year. Her boyfriends have all been sent overseas, fighting for our country. So, to present her award, may I introduce Lts Bradshaw, Seresin, and Floyd!” he said. You turned as the door opened and slapped a hand over your mouth, your boyfriends standing their in uniform. It didn’t take more then a second to process they were there before you were running to them and throwing yourself at them, they moved around you to hug you tightly as you cried, you looked up at them with the biggest smile “You- you said-” you started, Bob grinned “We lied. We wanted to workout this surprise with your school” he admitted. They handed you the award and flowers, you could hear everyone cheering behind you. Bradley wiped away your tears and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I can’t believe it” you whispered with a megawatt smile.

#top gun: maverick #Top Gun #rooster x reader #rooster top gun #rooster #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagines #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw #jake seresin #jake x bradley #jake 'hangman' seresin #bradley brashaw x jake sersin #jake 'hangman' seresin x reader #robert 'bob' floyd x reader #robert floyd #robert 'bob' floyd

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