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ghouljams · 2 months

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Ghoul ghoul ghoul, idk if you've listened to the new Hozier song "too sweet" yet but I'm having some SEVERE brain wormies and I need them out before they consume me. It's just ugh- At first I was like- oh man, this is totally a Ghost song and it could still kinda be a Ghost song. But then Hozier himself dropped from the clouds and slammed my head into the radio and that's when I realized, this isn't a Ghost song. No no. This is a Price song. I could see this as him rejecting a much younger person.

He likes you, he does. You're this sweet, young thing who's just fallen head over heels and he's flattered. Really! But... you're too young. Too sweet. Maybe one day when you've grown up a bit more, gotten some more life experience or maybe never. In truth, you may never be bitter enough for him. He needs someone that's aged like him, someone who can match his stride. Just AHHHHHHH it's so Price coded I swear I'm gonna cry.

- 🦈 anon

OK FIRST OF ALL

All day baby, we're on 48 hour Unreal Unearth Unheard lockdown. I'm studying these songs like I'm a gonna write a thesis on them. "Too Sweet" is a Ghost song baby, but it can apply to Price as well. Here's my interpretation of it. I was going to include how it relates to the boys but uh... this got long...

I don't think it's about a younger partner at all, I also see this as a song more about the narrator than the subject...

Diving in with Verse 1

It can't be said I'm an early bird It's 10 o'clock before I say a word Baby, I can never tell How do you sleep so well? You keep tellin' me to live right To go to bed before the daylight But then you wake up for the sunrise You know you don't gotta pretend Baby, now and then

Our subject is a morning person, they're up early while the narrator is sleeping in. The narrator clearly doesn't sleep well, for one reason or another, they even ask how the subject sleeps so well. But then we get this line that defines the whole song.

"You keep tellin' me to live right"

The subject isn't just an early bird, they're the sort of person who sees this as a health issue. They go to bed, sleep well, and wake up with the sunrise to enjoy the day. By contrast the narrator goes to bed in the wee hours of the morning and is clearly living a life that isn't healthy in the subjects eyes.

But the narrator also doesn't believe that the subject is truly the healthy person they "pretend" to be.

[Pre-Chorus] Don't you just wanna wake up Dark as a lake Smellin' like a bonfire Lost in a haze? If you're drunk on life, babe I think it's great But while in this world

Here the narrator describes his nights spend out in the darkness partying. Lost in a haze of booze or drugs, he says it's great that the subject is "drunk on life" but he'd prefer to get "lost in a haze." He questions why the subject wouldn't want to join him in this lifestyle, we go into the chorus with the understanding that the narrator is "enjoying" life through his unhealthy habits.

[Chorus] I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me I take my whiskеy neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for mе You're too sweet for me

He takes his whiskey neat, which gives this wonderful impression of masculinity and sounds very clean, but in reality he may as well be pulling straight from the bottle. Whiskey neat just means no ice, no nothing to distill the liquor down. Then he takes his coffee black, again we get this sort of rich bitterness, but he contrasts it, he drinks it in his bed at 3. There's no good 3 at which he's drinking black coffee, pm or am.

The narrator lives his life in bitterness, in unhealthy habits. Of course his subject is "too sweet" for him, they're healthy and seem happy. In contrast the narrator doesn't seem happy so much as he feels pre-destined to this life. He doesn't want to change his habits because this life feels almost deserving to him. He's lost in the haze, he's taking pulls straight from the bottle and waking up late in the day only to do it all over again.

[Verse 2] I aim low I aim true, and the ground's where I go I work late where I'm free from the phone And the job gets done But you worry some, I know But who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate The rest of you like you're the TSA I wish that I could go along Babe, don't get me wrong

Oof verse 2. This is where I think we really see where the narrator sees their lives diverging. "The ground's where I go" his life is going downhill, he's headed for an early grave, but he can't divert the arrow. He is forced to lower his aim because this is the cycle. Hozier himself said this song was meant for the circle of gluttony, and I hear it. The idea that his consumption, his over consumption is going to kill him one day.

And he tries to justify it! "I work late... the job gets done" he's away from his phone, the subject can't reach him, healthy habits can't reach him. But he deserves to let loose, because he's getting the job done. He sees this as a freedom, as a reward, and yet he knows it worries the subject, but by his own words "who wants to live forever"? If he's already destined for the grave why shouldn't he enjoy it?

Contrasted again by the subject. "You treat your mouth as if it's heaven's gate" he sees the subject as preachy, they keep trying to offer him salvation he doesn't want, and the words hit him as almost fictitious. He's so deep in the hole that even the hand held out to him seems like it's coming from heaven, so far is he from his baby. "The rest of you like it's the TSA" regimented, the subject has rules that they follow dutifully, they have a routine, they're strict with what they let through their filters. And the narrator wishes he could go along with it! He admires it, but for one reason or another he can't.

[Pre-Chorus] You know you're bright as the morning As soft as the rain Pretty as a vine As sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel Maybe I'll wait Until that day

Ok this is the part I think makes people imagine it's about a younger person. The lines "If you can sit in a barrel/ Maybe I'll wait" people think is about aging, but I disagree. I think it's about embittering the subject. Grapes are sweet, wine is dry and bitter, it's hot in the blood. The narrator is saying that if the subject can grow to be as bitter (and alcoholic) as he is then maybe he'd be able to stick to them.

BUT in the background going to the chorus we hear church bells, we hear wedding bells. The narrator is vividly in love with the subject even though they're such opposites. I think he wants the subject to save him, but he can't find the strength to ask. He's telling them that he loves them, they're all these wonderful opposites to him, but they don't understand his bitterness for one reason or another. He can imagine a future with them, he can hear the wedding bells, but he can't stop pushing them away. He knows they're right, knows they're good for him, but he's not ready to be saved yet.

[Chorus] I'd rather take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me I take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

This last chorus really seals it for me. It's so powerfully sung, again the narrator is justifying his lifestyle to the subject, but it's more desperate. He's trying to convince himself as much as them. The wedding bells ring, the narrator pushes this too sweet person away because he knows he's bad for them. He wants to make them bitter, he wants to make them more like himself instead of changing his habits, and he knows that's wrong. It's a declaration, "You're too sweet for me" find someone else, find someone that doesn't drink from the bottle, that can wake up with you and go to bed with you, find someone that doesn't want to ruin you the way I do.

I think the fact that the bells ring all the way through the end of the last chorus lines signals that the subject sticks around, that they're determined to help the narrator, and finally when the song ends (rather abruptly) the narrator gives in. His life of debauchery ends, and that pretty thing, soft as the rain, is no longer too sweet for him.

#ghoul speaks #hozier #hozier analysis #unreal unearth #ghoul's hozier bullshit #ghoul's pretentious hozier bullshit #I think that's the tag lol

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witchywithwhiskey · 22 days

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On the AO3 post for the alpha next door you wrote that you'd mostly read omegaverse novels om KU. Do you have any recs??? 😄 always looking to expand my TBR!

oh my god there is nothing i love more than giving book recs!!! ok here we go:

Baby & the Late Night Howlers by Kathryn Moon was my very first omegaverse book. it's reverse harem + bikers, and the premise is basically that the female main character thinks she's a beta but finds out she's an omega by very suddenly going into heat while in a biker bar. i think it's a pretty good entry point.

Lola & the Millionaires Part One and Two by Kathryn Moon are the second and third novels in this Sweet Omegaverse series (which are all reverse harem), and they're about a beta who matches with a pack of millionaires who've found a male omega. this is a neat non-omega-focused duology.

Bad Alpha by Kathryn Moon (i swear not every book on this list will be by Kathryn Moon) is another book in this universe. its about a female alpha who forms a pack with a male omega and some male alphas. she's also an assassin who was sent to kill the male omega, but she mates with him instead. and she's very much a badass.

Faith & the Dead End Devils by Kathryn Moon is about the omega sister of the male omega from Bad Alpha. it has another biker pack but i think i liked it better than the first one. she's rescued by the bikers from like omega traders and it takes her some time to feel comfortable with the pack and i like stories like that. (also there's one scene where a beta uses his fist to replicate a knot and i....have never been the same 😳)

outside Kathryn Moon's Sweet Omegaverse series, i recently finished reading Devyn Sinclair's Slate City Omegaverse series and it's great—they're all reverse harem as well and take scent matching even further. Knot Your Damn Omega is about an omega whose twin sister is a famous actress and so she's struggled to meet alphas who truly want her for her, until she meets her scent matches in a pack of tattoo artists. Knot All That Glitters is about a politician's daughter who scent matches with her security guard and his pack. and Knot For A Moment is about a ballet dancer who scent matched with her best friend in college but left before he found out and then of course he joins her ballet company years later and learns she's his match. all of these are very very sweet but have a good amount of plot to balance the smut.

Dark City Omega by Elizabeth Stephens is the only non-reverse harem omegaverse book i'm rec'ing but it's just so so so so good—it has an enemies to lovers storyline that's chef's kiss. it's a bit on the darker side, and the world-building is more extensive than the other books, but it's fantastic.

i also devoured the first book of the Pack Darling duology by Lola Rock in like less than 24 hours, but it ends on a cliffhanger and i had to wait for the second book and it just didn't really live up to my expectations so that's a "maybe you could try it if you want" kind of rec.

anyway! those are the ones i'd rec. i've read others but they were only ok. if you've read any already, or if you do read any, let me know what you think!!

#molly answers asks #book recs #veltana

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backtothedisaster · 29 days

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For the ask game

All character/ship specific ones will be for Tw0F4ng (if it's character specific you can just do either Fl4k or Zer0 if you want. Or both if you want to do both)

3, 5, 9, 10, 11, 12, 17, 19, 22, 24, 25

Obviously don't have to answer all of them bc it's a lot but idk I like your opinions they're neat

OF COURSE <3

3. NoTP? i dont really have one for fl4k but for zero...zerhys sorry. Im a known rhys disliker and i just dont see it 9. Write a recommendation of someone else's fic you enjoyed! THIS ONE...oh my god. i dont read fic much but this permanently rewired my brain. it influenced a lot how i interpret fl4k and zer0 and their relationship 10. What's your favourite piece of fanart for [character]? Ok im kind of just picking drawings that theyre included in because i really like them. These two 11. What's your favourite piece of fanart for [ship]? auuuug i have a hard time choosing but i think this one 12. What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with? I guess not funny or crazy (kind of tragic if im honest) but ive been thinking a little bit about a fl4k/zer0 au that takes place several decades in the future after most of their friends have. well. Died. (i think fl4k and zer0 would have a significantly longer lifespan than the rest of the raiders because robot and..alien(?) thing..Youve just gotta trust me on this one) Anyways i dont have any real like...plot or anything really for this au i kind of just like the concept (I am a sucker for tragedy) 19. What's your favourite thing about [the borderlands fandom] (the people in it, not the media you're all enjoying together)? So many creative people in this community...its the first real fandom space ive interacted with in a while and its nice. lots of cool people here 22. Give us a headcanon for [character] Ok normally i would answer this one but i spent all my creative energy on an essay earlier...consider this my IOU 24. What's your favourite thing about [character]? Fl4k was actually a character made in a lab for me i swear to god. An archivist bot developing sentience and deciding become a hunter to serve a personification of death... im sorry but is that not literally the coolest shit ever. Maybe it would be easier to stop falling into the stereotype of "every nonbinary character is nonhuman" if they would stop making them so fucking awesome as for zer0. their offputting demeanor and autistic swagger has captivated me

i answered as many as i could ^_^ enjoy yay

#borderlands #fl4k/zer0 #tw0f4ng #ask #i guess i could tag the individual chrs but id ont feel like it #also this is my 500th post...yaaay

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kayetra-spade-queen · 2 months

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Because @drawnfamiliarfaces got me into their AU rabbit hole of a variant version of the Teen Heroes™, I hope they don't mind of me making my own variant (I'm self-conscious, please excuse me-).

First and foremost, I can't draw, at least not to the extent of completely fleshing out a sketch out of my ass (ok- I can, but only a single eye, and even then it looks like shit to me-). I can draw clothing better than making a full body to make a whole ass scene. Comics are out the window cuz I will suffer.

Second, it'll probably be more on writing than making fanarts.

Third, I didn't watch the majority of the other characters' respective shows. I watched Danny Phantom a bit because of Nicktoons, and Ben 10 because of the same person who got me into starting this whole thing. I'll probably get my own snips and bits of necessary info from the wiki, but don't expect any accuracy, and I'd appreciate if anyone could dump some info that could prove to be very necessary for me.

Fourth, this is an entire AU itself, so I'm mostly not gonna follow canon at most. There will be stories I will try to twist to my liking.

Fifth, ships. Yes, but bear with me here; thanks to my overconsumption of media, I will be putting just a few ships that I think are neat, but if anyone disagrees with me or didn't like how I didn't mention a ship they like (cuz I barely knew shit about the characters), then please just either move away from my blog, or block me entirely to avoid unwanted conflict. We all have our interests that make us happy, the least you could do is to respect and/or completely don't interact.

Sixth, the clothing are gonna filled with my own personal headcanons, mostly their clothing when they battle (the characters themselves too, but I'm gonna focus more on the clothes because I'm a fashion illustrator). Danny, Ben, and Randy are gonna wear heels because yes.

The ships involved;

Tigerghost (Manny Rivera from El Tigre x Danny Fenton from Danny Phantom) (I completely blame izbubbles for this one)

Benrex (Rex Salazar from Generator Rex x Ben Tennyson from Ben 10) (surprised? Probably not lmfao-)

Jimmytimmy (Timmy Turner x Jimmy Neutron) (first and foremost; no, none of the Nicktoons (Jimmy, Timmy, SpongeBob, and Manny) except Danny and Jenny are part of this team. Danny and Jenny still go on missions with the NU team because duh. And second; they're only here as some sort of filler and cuz I really love Nicktoons since most of them I have watched)

Headcanons involved (will get expanded in due time I swear-);

Trans Danny

Anodite Ben (still wields the Omnitrix. His anodite powers are pink too)

Dani and Dan are Danny's kids (under a different name because they have to go through a re-birth process that I'll touch upon later)

Ben's necrofriggian children now comes to earth to live with their mom (like I said, I'm not following canon)

Randy is still ninja, but because this AU involves a 3rd power/skill, I'll have to twist a bit of the canon my way, especially when it comes to the Ultimate Lesson and memory wipe

There will be some Genshin Impact references here and there, because I do play them, and I love it-

Ghost King Danny (by extent, Ghost Princess Dani and Ghost Prince Dan)

Fashion designer Ben (his sassy and confident nature could be more of a use tbh)

Primal Iudex Randy (he and Furina would get along nicely-)

Pearl Keeper Jake

Side gig magician Rex (leave me be, I think it's neat-)

Engaged Rex and Ben (all of the members are adults over 20, so don't be surprised)

Sandra Tennyson is French, so that makes Ben half-French by heritage

Ben and Randy are pen pals turned close friends by the time Ben moved to France (yes, I made Randy somewhat French here for this reason, but I'll have to put in more details later)

Rex won't lose his memories, but he'll get short-term amnesia often, which just need something to trigger the old memories back

Everyone is under the same universe

Danny's ghost team are Sam-Tucker-Valerie-Jazz and his parents (Valerie deserves better than what was given to her by canon)

Yes, Maddie and Jack knew Danny became a ghost from the very start, but they didn't treat him any differently than he was before; if anything, they felt guilty that their son had paid the price for their ignorance and neglect

Phantom Planet do not exist, and it shouldn't have been to begin with, but whatever

Valerie had always been part of Danny's gang. In terms of Shades of Gray, I'll have to change a lot of things, that includes her father's job (he didn't get fired), so I have other things in mind regarding Cujo

Cujo became Danny's pet dog later on, cuz you can't tell me these two aren't made for each other

Members from oldest to youngest, I do hope @drawnfamiliarfaces wouldn't mind me using their headcanon as well (eldest Kim, youngest Randy). I think they're really neat.

Please keep in mind that none of this follow canon whatsoever, they follow my headcanons and versions. Character backstories are written purely by my own personal headcanons too. I'll probably add actual canon when I didn't have anything good to offer, but this is what I could put for now.

#kim possible #my life as a teenage robot #danny phantom #american dragon jake long #the life and times of juniper lee #generator rex #secret saturdays #ben 10 #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #Shades of Prisms #Kayetra Spade Queen

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sodaquail · 6 months

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Dude I’m so hyped for your werewolf AU, you have no idea. I’m the biggest werewolf!Chip fan out there. Anyways, if you want asks (sorry if I misinterpreted your post):

What type of werewolf are we talking here? Classic bipedal or twilight style giant wolf? Somewhere in between?

Are any of the other characters werewolves, and/or does Chip know any others?

Is lycanthropy a known thing? How do people react?

One of my D&D books has a section on lycanthropy, and while you can play player characters affected by it, it goes hand and hand with the Evil alignment (it’s an older book, not sure about lycanthropy in 5E). Is this similar in your AU, or are werewolves misunderstood?

Don’t feel obligated to answer any of these haha, I understand that they could definitely lean into spoiler territory, I’m just so excited!! :D Werewolf world building is the best.

Im sooooo glad to see you're excited!!! I can totes add you to the tag list ^_^

for the TYPE of wolf... I totally leant more into mythology rather than werewolf movies. ive never actually watched a werewolf movie (although, a friend said wolfchip would be like the wolves from twilight so now im planning a marathon with IRLs.... oops) I'm doing a lot of worldbuilding into the nature and magic of werewolves and that stays hidden but.. - physically they are BIG. like twilight wolf sized... big big. - They have no tail (a mythology thing for werewolves!! common for creatures rumored to just be witches in disguse actually) I was VERYYYYYYYY much not going to pull the werewolf pop culture thing and have some 'weird human-wolf hybrid cross' because i did not like the idea tooooo much..... would rather be taken out back and killed with bricks than make chip bipedal wolf-man hybrid thing.... noooooooo...... also in human form werewolves are distinctly inhuman!! Won't go into TOO MUCH worldbuilding of mine but essentially, among other things their wolf form and traits fluctuate with the lunar cycle. on new moon they're indistinguishable from human, on full moon they're fully wolf, and all inbetween is a mix of traits. It all depends on when you catch em, whether it's day or night, whether it's new moon or close to full moon.... you might not know what you're signing up for if you find a normal person on the full moon only for them to change as the lunar cycle goes on, lol. but from mythology these are the traits which often identify a werewolf in human form - unibrow (not giving chip this one. no dice) - low, swinging stride (yes!) - lower set ears (also yes!) - when the skin is cut, there is fur under it! (yes, but i felt might be too obscure for people.... not included in common werewolf pop culture sadly...) as well as a few special things of my own!!! I ALSO HAVE A PHOTO OF WHAT WOLFCHIP LOOKS LIKE!! i found this on a dog grooming video on tiktok and went 'thats wolfchip."

2) Yes! I have one confirmed werewolf NPC (of my own making for the purposes of the story) and am toying with the idea of making another character a werewolf. It won't be too big of a deal though... just a neat little reference!! 3) now THIS is staunchly spoiler territory!! sorry dude!!! 4) this is also spoiler territory but what i will say is that I did not go off of DND modules (although it wouldnt hurt to give them a read...)!! I play BECMI and 5e as my DND modules among other TTRPGS but i did not lean from any of them. Honestly, I didn't take much inspiration for my werewolf worldbuilding outside of some mythology shit (and not a lot, anyway). I think i just went off the general, well known werewolf myths and said 'ok what can i do with this' and i sewed and cut and now it is a new beast. it is MY beast. TYSM for your questions!!! Hope you enjoy the final project ahhhh...... seeing the answers for the spoilers in the fic will be SO much better than reading them here i swear :3

#wolfchip my whole heart and soul (and diamond and pearl)#I looooooove talking about my fics..... special interest brain neuron activate!!!#jrwi #chip jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #jay ferin #sodaquail chatting #jrwi fic #werewolf #werewolves #sodaquail werewolf fic

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cyphyra · 10 months

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ok so after i was freed from having to be on my dog's schedule i came across a neat little game called Pseudoregalia a buncha people seemed to be recommending and looked pretty neat (and the protag is cute, sue me >.>)

now, normally, platformers drive me up the damn wall and i cant play them, because most of them give you tools you need to be EXTREMELY precise with, but Pseudoregalia makes it feel like you can fuck up and still manage to scrape by depending on what abilities you've picked up

i had a few moments of genuine pain smacking my head into a wall over and over, but the movement is just extremely responsive and made it feel satisfying when i'd do something i dont think i was supposed to do at the time

there's only 2 main gripes i have with the game-- one, the combat is kinda ass comparative to the platforming; basic, un-upgradeable 1-2-3 ground combo, no aerial combo (in favor of getting a vertical boost for movement which is fine, but still a bit annoying if you dont realize you're in the air going for a combo. lock-on also doesnt move the camera to face the enemy which causes some awkward angles) two, it is criminally short, and a bit bare for collectables imo. most are behind locked doors and ones that arent are usually just health pieces. but im not too upset about collectibles cause if there were useless ones id just say they're useless so, there's that. but it really is far too short-- and i mean that in the most appreciative way i can; this game fucking rules and i want to play so much more of it but there's no more game after the major keys + final boss ;^;

tl;dr: i have my gripes, but the game is honestly phenominal and for 6 bucks I'd recommend it to literally anyone who just likes fun games, platformers, retro styles, or cute goat-cat-bunny women (im so goddamn normal abt Sybil i swear)

#cyspeaks #pseudoregalia #does this count as a game review?#i dont think that by definition it does but it is a big read #anyway ive beaten this game twice now and it's still so fun

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multishipperofgaydeadwizards · 3 months

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Ok so you who needs to become a thing? Dorcas and Mary. And here are my selling points.

[quick question, is it just me who makes an insane amount of correlation between the colour lavendar and Dorcas? Like idk it just makes sense somehow. Ykwim?]

1) Their shipname would be something like:

A. lavendarhaze (cause prev point + Mary canonically has a hazy memory of her past. It makes no sense now that I'm typing this out but I swear it works)

B. or lavendarsea (from the research we did on Mary's name yesternight)

C. or OR ✨️Femmefatale✨️ (cause, hear me out on this, I can't think of a more femme person in our fandom than Mary and plus who can be more fatale than Dorcas "Voldy had to kill me personally" Meadows? Is it obvious that I am extremely sleep deprived rn?

D. Realizing her name has Meadows has now given me the option: SeasMeadows. (Can we please have an assessment of all these options please I need your thoughts.)

2) They would both love gossiping and they'll already be besties because of it. And then one day they're sitting together and Mary sees her laugh and in her head she is like oh and abruptly says "I like you." And Dorcas is like thrown back for a second but then she smiles slowly "I like you too." And that's that they now go on dates and they're a couple. Is that too boring? I feel like I'm always going to the oblivious sapphics trope. I mean I love it but... ykwim?

3. Their dates would be like picnics by the Great Lake watching the sunset and cute coffee dates and going on walks and making gift baskets for each other and stuff like that. Wowie is my brain so dry rn

4. They are lipsticks stains and written letters and heart emojies in texts and blue hour and rose bouquets and wine glasses with left over rosé and out of breathe giggles and crossed ankles below the table and origami swans for each other and late night phone calls and goodbyes in sticky notes on the fridge door.

5. I just think they're nice. : )

And I am extremely tired I shall go sleep and be back in an hour or so. Gn<3

Also random af but lemongrass as a shipname for Moontail? No I did not stare at a bottle of lemongrass sticks and think it'll make neat shipname whaddoyoumean

yes!!! dorcas and mary belong together. they would be so amazing together omg

and yes, I also associate purple with dorcas. it just fits her idk

1) all the ship names you picked out are incredible. jaw-droppingly beautiful is what they are.

lavenderhaze is the cutest thing I have heared in a while

lavendersea is cute too

femmefatale? so true. slay

seameadows???? omfg that's so pretty. can't compare to lavenderhaze though

moral of the story? I'm in love with lavenderhaze. I literally love that ship name sm and I have no decided that that's officially their name

2) there is never too much oblivious sapphics. there isn't at all ever. but omggggg the idea os mary just looking at dorcas one day and being like. "oh. that's what this is." is adorable and dorcas just being like: "yeah me too." is so perfect. geodbsob I love them sm

3) yessss. one of their favorite activities is making fun of their friends for being oblivious idiots

4)&-*@;@[@;@[- YESSS THEY SO ARE OMGG

5) they are nice. the nicest actually :)

lemongrass for moontail??? osnsiebo yess please! it's adorable I love it :)

gn <33

#the lover with the great ideas #marauders #marauders era #marauders fandom #dorcas meadows #mary mcdonald #mary x dorcas #lavenderhaze #dormary #dory #wow... you're bad at parking

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sketching-shark · 1 year

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Ok soo questions: if you had to switch their role between mk and liu chenxiang, which do you think would fare better?(in the terms of the things they went through i mean?

Additionally: would you like lotus lantern to be better known in the west even at the cost of CX to get branded as “another mk” from westerners? (Im asking bc i deadass saw marcus get refer to as another mk. Marcus is a fankid of swk from dc comics who i do see mix reviews on it but we get zhu bajie as his master. I swear just bc theyre brown haired monkey that doesn’t mean its mk again oml. Im dreading the day yuebei xing get to be refer as “female mk” bc ima cry)

HAHA THE TRAUMA TUDIS but in all seriousness anon it's a hard thing to tell...on one hand Liu Chenxiang went through a lot of absolute bullshit, including permanently losing his father, because of his uncle. BUT he was dealing with much lower stakes than Qi Xiaotian, and he was eventually successfully reunited with his mom as presumably lived happily ever after. Qi Xiaotian on the other hand just has one horrible thing after the other happen to him as a result of him having to deal with one potentially world-destroying catastrophe after another, but so far he hasn't permanently lost any loved ones...so choose your trauma I guess?

And I think it would be neat if Lotus Lantern was more well known in the west! At least personally I would really like to see a stage production of it, and even if some people are calling Marcus "another mk" on account of both of them being brown haired monkey guys Liu Chenxiang is different enough from them both enough that I don't imagine people thinking of him as a monkie kid clone, starting with the fact that Liu Chenxiang's story is much much older than Qi Xiaotian's, while he may be Sun Wukong's tudi he has a much more specific goal, and well he is not a monkey.

Also I don't think you have to worry at all about Yuebei Xingjun being thought of as a "female mk" at all anon, starting with the fact that she actually is Sun Wukong's daughter, from what I understand she's hinted to be much more of a ruthless & literally deadly fighter than Qi Xiaotian (just like her old man lmao), and ending with the way that based on physical appearance alone they're basically on opposite ends of the simian spectrum, as demonstrated below:

#anon answered #lotus lantern #journey to the south #monkie kid #liu chenxiang #qi xiaotian #yuebei xingjun #sun wukong's large and powerful daughter

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naturallyexcessive · 6 months

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kiriko masai for the ask game?

ok i was gonna answer the old ship asks first for the sake of catching up but then i saw masai in this ask and blacked out so we're doing this first lmao

sexuality hcs: fallen real in love with the idea of aromantic masai honestly! probably not romance repulsed, i can imagine her still enjoying romantic things, it's just that romance isn't for her specifically

gender hcs: i imagine she doesn't really think about it much, in a similar way to how amemiya's outlook on her gender is something along the lines of "im probably nonbinary but i have a job (script writing) so idrc about that rn" except she's thought about it way less. like she'll call herself a girl if asked out of the blue but if you give her time to think about it she'll go "huh. maybe not"

ship: im always a masaame truther through and through! think that was pretty obvious haha

brotp: i think she and nana are real neat! they're canonically friends (masai being one of nana's first theater-enjoying friends in fact) and i'd love to explore that more! and by that i mean i'd love to see masai try and figure out just how much nana knows about the underground stage, and perhaps vice versa. they're besties but also engaging in the most passive-aggressive intel war on each other ever. also, i just love their parallels to each other? they're both producer-types who deeply care for unified happiness and the wellbeing of their respective teams over any conflict, which stems from their more gentler natures; nana has her sheer determination to keep the status quo vs masai's tendency to hold back in favor of keeping the peace

notp: naturally the main answer here is probably just shiori, the jhs kids and elle, for obvious reasons!

random hc: i like to imagine that masai knows a lot more about the underground stage and the nature of stage girls than most would think. i think i've talked about this hc in the past before and i swear i'll elaborate on it at some point because my specific thoughts about it are all over the place. but it just. works in my brain? she's quite literally the stage director of their year and it's been established that this is a pretty important role (if the live 4 climax is anything to say about it) and, like mentioned above, she does have nana parallels and that extends to the sense she just has the vibes of someone who Knows Things! hiding secrets behind that smile!

general opinion: i don't talk about her as much as amemiya but i do love her just as much :)

#excessive rambling #ask games #i rotate her in my mind a lot. maybe

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theinsanecrayonbox · 12 days

Text

I am beyond ready for the finale of X-men 97, seeing as I found my original Kenner Rogue doll costume (I’ve kept the jacket in my current clothes box) and it fits a Tall pretty ok

So let’s do this. X-men 97 episode 10

hehe i think the episode description is underselling it just a bit; we ended last ep with the Adamantium being sucked out of Logan, think that's a bigger deal...

oh the Sentinel base was the Galapagos, i missed that last time. thanks recap

oh good i was scared for a second we'd get no opening because we in serious business time mode. but nope there it is...and a few diff clips than last time

oh we are in flashback land for Chuck and Erik. well mind trap flashback, but still, good stuff.

Erik said a swear!

why do we care about Silver Samurai so much? but hey it's Iron Man...and Daredevil! neat!! who's next on the cameo carousel?? Dr Strange??!! oh back to Cooper so Bastion can monologue...guess we're done

"if the good professor had taken me in, all this would've been avoided" yup. and no Storm, saying "well he feared you'd be a bad guy so that's why he didn't take you in" is not a good answer

oh hey Black Panther and Okoye and crew (as they appeared in the MCU??)...and Cloak and Dagger??? ok now we're just adding in people who weren't established previously. nothing wrong with that, just interesting to note...

*LEGASP!!!!* Arkady working with the Winter Guard!! the '92 comic book did that! ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Psylock with Alpha Flight?? weird, but ok...oh wait no the wreckage says it's Genosha, ok that makes way more sense

idt torturing Cable is a good idea...

oh no, Bastian is betraying Sinister, what a surprise...not...

oh but Phoenix is out Dues Ex Machina...scoring's good...and her stripping Sinister is great fun too

pfft smacking Cable with is own arm

and now Super Bastian

and back to Asteroid M 2 and the Cherik mental-scape...they're linked but about to merge/shatter? we're getting Onslaught in s2 aren't we?

Rogue said Gambit's thing!!

is that the Inhuman base on the moon??

oh Panther isn't T'Challa, interesting

that's the twins and Lorna on the boat with rogue in Erik's mentalscape. Erik is aware of Lorna??? and she's i the suit she did not wear in TAS, but that's a nitpick...he's aware of her???

the music is so good

Bastion does look very gruesome

oh Morph turned into Mr Fantastic

Peter and MJ! and hey there's Flash too, neat!

awww Morph

oh that wasn't a normal blow up...

6 months later and Graydon is wanting to be president? of course wiener boy wants that, so cool we get his assignation next season.

Bishop's back! is this your first meeting with Forge from his end? oh but now i'm seeing the board of mugshots behind Forge and i desperately want to play 'who's that pokemon'

they all got time displaced huh? hoo-boy. so Rogue and Kurt are in Apocalypse's Egypt, Jean and Scott are in the future to raise Cable...oh Hank and Chuck and Erik are in Apocalypse time too. so s2 is Clan Aksani themed

oh! mid-credit scene! it's Apokylpyse...so nothing super fun...HOWEVER, i suppose we could get something AoAish with who's left on the board...but probably not (although, One Man's Worth was a DoFP/AoA mashup, and this had the DoFP board...and Blink is technically part of the Apocalypse/Aksani family...)

SO overall, pretty good season finale. very good season as a whole. this was so good, cannot recommend more if i tried. the Storm centric episodes were the lowest ranked ones, since they really did draw away from the main plot and 95% of the cast as a whole, but even then they weren't *bad* episodes. this was good, i look forward to a season 2. and if the rumors that Spiderman 97 is to be a thing, i also look forward to that.

#kp watches tv #kp watches stuff #spoilers

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rainbowspinch · 1 year

Note

DAWNED ON ME ABOUT LINDA MY FAVOURITE EVER OK LISTEN LISTEN DO THEY (im referring to linda w/ they/them bc they use they/them <- they're an alter) EXIST IN UR AU OR NAH BC IF SO I WANNA SEE A DESIGN IF NOT HIT ME WITH A HYPOTHETICAL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE <3 I SWEAR IF I HAD THE MONEY I WOULD FIND A WAY TO COMMISSION YOU FOR HOW WELL YOU DRAW BUT ALAS NOT YET

(Little forewarning for different pronouns just in case! Don’t wanna make them uncomfortable <3)

AAAHH!!

I don’t usually think about Linda too much, and she doesn’t have much of a place in CTC so far, BUT

I do think she’s neat :)

#batim #bendy and the ink machine #digital art #batim au #Linda stein #Linda stein batim

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i-willstealyourtoes · 11 months

Note

hiya! may i request a tf2 matchup? :)

im 19, AFAB, my gender is unlabeled as of now, i go by any pronouns but im very fem leaning, bisexual, aquarius, INFP, 5’8, chubby/curvy, brown eyes, armpit-length black layered wolfcut with bangs. i don’t really know what the style is called but i dress like the girls from fatal frame, wear black rectangle glasses, and tend to wear heavy eyeliner, making me seem intimidating to some but i swear im nice once u come up to me LOL

i love art, music, all sorts of wildlife, fashion, and im sort of a scifi buff,, i can listen to practically anything except modern day rap. i often listen to early 2000s and 1960s-90s music, whether its rap, pop, funk, country, rock, indie….

for religion i’d consider myself an agnostic, im heavily against abrahamic religions, i wont judge for what you believe but they just don’t sit right with me.

id call myself an ambivert, it kind of just depends on the people im with and the vibes i get from them. i get incredibly jealous, either keep things bottled up until i can’t take it anymore, or i come to you to talk about my feelings. it takes some time for me to trust and get close to people, and if i feel like i can’t see you in my future then i won’t even bother. my love language is gift-giving, acts of service, and physical affection. i probably have some sort of personality disorder, but ive never been able to go get a diagnosis lol

Ok ok this is my first match-up omg pls bare with me-

You matched with: Sniper !!

I just think you two would just...get each other???

When he saw what you looked like, he probably thought you looked really cool

Brown eyes and black wolf-cut??? I think he would immediately be attracted

I think he likes brown eyes and black hair, and a wolf-cut too???

He thinks wolf-cuts are really neat okay

Once you guys are together, he would just love to stare into your eyes (if you tease him about it he will fall apart fr)

Oh and if you let him run his fingers through your hair???? Any stress of his is just gone

He's one of those people that he enjoys just being with you and you don't even have to talk

The concept of him just sitting down on the bed, watching you do your hair or makeup in comfortable silence???

It's enough to make him propose fr (/hj)

Obviously he wouldn't be fall in-love/be romantically attracted instantly, but your appearance would definitely get his attention

Like, he's never really seen someone with your style of makeup or outfit?

He's quite intrigued

Like, do you wear this all the time? That looks like a lot of effort

Well, compared to this man's routine, basically anything is a lot of effort

Once he starts crushing on you, he'll probably go shopping and see a nice accessory and go "Hey, I think that'd match them....right????"

He might get it for you, but he'll be very casual and just place it beside you or put it on your bedroom table

"Oh, uh.....I just thought....it'd look good...is it okay..?"

After you two get together, he would probably buy you clothes or something

He doesn't really think people look intimidating unless they're very tall and violent, but he kind of can see why you would look like that to some

He doesn't think you're scary or anything, although he might avoid talking (in the start) because that's just how he is anyway

You would probably have to talk to him a bunch before he initiates conversations himself

He's indifferent to music and art, but if you draw the stuff yourself, he'd be really impressed

I think he draws a tiny bit too, but usually it's just a bird he saw or maybe a pretty 5'8 person with brown eyes and a black wolf-cut that he totally isn't starting to like a lot-

If you ever saw a drawing of you by him, he will immediately avoid you for at least 3 days before you can even tell him it looks good-

If you draw him????? He will be very, very flustered about it

He's not very confident in his looks (he just thinks he looks average at best) so he'll be shocked you think he looks that cool

"You..you sure this is me? Haha, I....Thanks..."

(He is trying hard not to explode rn /pos)

He will keep it in his van forever

About music; if you guys are close enough, he might share some of his stuff too

"I don't really listen to music...but uh, here's something I don't mind..."

If you like it too, he will feel proud for some reason???

Once you tell him you like wildlife, he will instantly start to open up to you

If you guys are starting to get close, he'll invite you to go camping or something so you guys can see some animals !!

"Hey, do you wanna go see some deer with me? I know this best spots."

Even if you don't see any, you guys can just chat endlessly about it until you have to go/one of you falls asleep

Doesn't really like fashion or sci-fi that much????

He doesn't hate it, he's just indifferent

He does not put any effort into his appearance other than the occasional trim of hair-

If you want, once you guys are close enough, you can give him some clothing reccomendations!

He will probably not mind anything you give him, as long as it isn't too intense or out there

"Hey, this is actually....pretty good. Thanks, sheila."

He likes having you ramble about sci-fi or any of your interests, just as long as he can hear you speak

He would be listening as well, and he'd maybe also get some merch for you too

"Hey, you said you like this right...? Well, I...I got you something."

He'd enjoy watching your favourite sci-fi movies/shows and just asking you questions and stuff

He loves when you just light up whilst talking

His heart basically melts tbh-

He's not religious either, so he doesn't mind at all

He kinda relates with your view about god too

He quite likes the fact you're an ambivert, because it means not only can you relate to his introverted personality, but you can also help him socialise and stuff

He totally gets the whole being jealous thing though

Like, he'll get that feeling of anxiety too

He feels like you're just so...cool

So why are you with him??? He's just...there, you know?

So when he sees you talking to someone a lot or something, he'll feel worried that maybe he's not doing enough

He gets angry too sometimes, not at you, but at anyone that starts flirting

Depending on how far into the relationship you are, he'll either just stay silent and feel anxious, or he'll go up to you and threaten whoever you're with

"Hey, you better back off or I'm gonna rearrange your spine with this knife."

It's kind of difficult to be jealous of Sniper since he doesn't really socialise too much???

But if you do get jealous, just tell him and he'll stop immediately

He totally gets how you only really trust those who are super close to you

He's the exact same

He only really has a very small group of people he trusts, so he definitely gets the sentiment

He understands if it takes you a while to open up, he's patient so he doesn't mind waiting

He takes ages to open up too, so if you're patient too, then you'll be a great pair !!

He likes the way you think about the fact that if you can't see them in your future you won't bother

He doesn't like pointless and short-lived relationships either tbh-

I think one of his love languages is acts of service too, so I guess you guys are just going to constantly trade that between one another

He gives gifts sometimes too, but he will feel really shocked if you get him anything

"This....this is for me? I...thanks..."

He feels kind of guilty if it's anything that you've bought for him

He just thinks that he should be the only one buying things I guess?

It takes a while for him to get used to physical affection, both private and public

He was never one to hug or be hugged so all of it is kind of new to him tbh-

Just be patient, and eventually he'll cling to you in private

After a while, he gets used to PDA but nothing too intense, just holding hands or putting a hand around your waist or shoulder

Any kisses in public and he can't help but feel a little red in the face

He seems like he isn't very versed in mental health at all, so he doesn't know how to support you unless you tell him what you need

He's there for you no matter what, because he loves you and everything that makes you...you !!

Extra:

I think Scout would like your unique style, although he would make fun of you a little at first :/

He likes hearing you ramble, but will probably actually not listen and is only listening to your voice and looking at your face

He enjoys the physical affection, especially PDA, so that could work

You guys can have art sessions together, although he only does doodles mostly

Soldier would enjoy the fact you like wild-life, since maybe you would also like his raccoons?

He likes receiving any love from you

Gifts? Heck yeah! Physical affection? Absolutely! Acts of service! He would be so grateful!

Pyro loves any unique style at all, so he really likes yours!

The wolf-cut is so cool to them, catch them staring at you whilst you style it!

Would love to just hug you whilst you talk about whatever

Engie would love talking to you about Sci-fi, since he likes it too!

You guys would just be in his workshop, trading facts about your favourite characters and so on

He really likes your glasses, he thinks they suit you well

He also doesn't trust people unless they're very close to him, so he's patient with you and understands how you feel

Heavy understands the whole 'I know I look intimidating but I promise I'm okay' kind of vibe

He loves looking at any art you make, and while he doesn't do it himself, he definitely still understands and appreciates the effort you put into it

Also doesn't trust people easily, so he's fine being patient with you

Demo really likes your glasses too, he thinks they look cute

Kind of likes sci-fi now and then, so he likes watching it with you

He likes giving gifts too, so I think you guys would just be trading gifts at this point lol

Medic loves your glasses and haircut so much, it's just a style he really appreciates

Your clothing style is also really attractive to him too!

He likes sci-fi now and then like Demo, so he's happy to talk about it whilst you guys are doing whatever

Spy finds your style unique, and he likes unique people so he's immediately attracted in a way

He likes fashion too, so maybe you guys can go shopping sometime?

Gift giving??? Oh you guys are basically going to have a war of gifts fr bc he LOVES giving gifts lol

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foundtherightwords · 1 year

Text

Winter Light - Chapter 2

Pairing:Tom Grant (Make Up) x OFC

Summary: Vanessa, a young cancer patient, arrives at a remote holiday park in Cornwall to wait out the rest of her days, but after a chance meeting with a park employee named Tom who's nursing a broken heart, Vanessa realizes life may not be done with her yet.

Warnings: slow burn, mostly fluff with some angst (main character has cancer, so can't do without angst altogether), swearing, serious illness (cancer), discussion of death/grief

A/N: for some reason I clearly remembered there were window boxes outside of Jade's caravan, but I just watched the movie again and saw she only had some potted plants. Oh well. Somebody could've added them after she left (this takes place about a year after the events in "Make Up").

Chapter 1

A Welcomed Distraction

Vanessa told Shirley that her plan had changed unexpectedly and asked to rent her caravan long-term. Shirley seemed delighted to accommodate her, though Vanessa still had the nagging thought that those beady eyes saw more than she let on.

Vanessa took advantage of the strong signal inside the office to send off a few texts. "Have arrived safely, everything OK, phone signals patchy but will try to stay in touch, love you, Ness." That would keep them off her back for a while. She then asked how she could get to the nearby town for some supplies. "One of the staff can drive you," Shirley told her.

A few days later, Tom knocked on her door. "Shirley said you needed a lift into town," he said, holding up a set of keys.

Vanessa followed him down the path toward an old black truck with a bug-splattered windscreen, its bed full of odds and ends. "Yours?" she asked.

"It's Kai's. I'm picking up a few things for him."

Vanessa wondered why Kai couldn't have driven her himself, though she didn't say so. She had seen Kai around, an intimidating hulk with a craggy, unfriendly face and a ferocious German shepherd by his side. She wouldn't have liked a drive with him.

Tom followed the same route the cab took when it drove her to the park, and he was just as silent as the driver. Though it wasn't as awkward, the silence between them was heavy with so many things unsaid. This boy had seen her at her lowest; she had told him things she never told anybody else; it was hard now to come back from that and get to know each other normally. As Vanessa stared at the windscreen, she suddenly heard herself say, "Do you know windscreens are cleaner now because of insecticides?"

"What?" Tom didn't take his eyes off the road, but from his tone, it seemed he thought she was an alien of some kind.

"It's true. More insecticides, fewer bugs, cleaner windscreens."

"Isn't that good?"

"Not necessarily. Insecticides kill useful bugs too."

"Like bugs, do you?"

Vanessa shrugged. "I'm not passionate about them or anything, but I don't understand the hate for them either. I think they're neat."

"Wait 'til you've swallowed a mouthful and see how neat you think they are then," Tom said, and Vanessa chuckled with relief. The ice seemed to have been successfully broken. "You settling in all right?" he asked after a while.

"Still afraid I'm going to run away? I've put down a deposit, I'm not going to lose that."

This time he did glance at her, perhaps to see if she was serious or not. Vanessa put her poker face on. Tom's mouth twitched wryly.

"Maybe you can fix up the caravan a bit, that'll convince me," he said.

"Alas, home décor has never been my forte."

"I'll help."

She decided to play along. "Got lots of experience, have you? How long have you been working at the park anyway?"

"Three years. Maintenance, mostly, but reckon I could do some painting and decorating if necessary."

That surprised Vanessa. He looked around her age, in his late teens or early twenties at the most. That meant he must've started working here when he was still in school. "Used to come down every summer," he said when she mentioned it. "I wasn't going to come back this year, but Shirley called, saying they were short-staffed."

"Why weren't you coming back?" Vanessa asked, not noticing that Tom had suddenly shut his mouth hard.

He didn't answer. The silence had returned, more tense than before. Once again Vanessa wondered if it had anything to do with the mysterious Jade.

Tom dropped her off at the town center and agreed to meet her again in two hours. Vanessa went shopping, refilled her prescriptions, and even found a new book. She was flipping through it on a bench in the town square, trying to find some warmth from the late autumn sun that refused to shine, when Tom came back.

"Sorry I'm a bit late," he said. "Got you these." His arms were full of an assortment of flowering and leafy plants.

"What are they?" She only recognized the ivy.

"Ivy, heather, cyclamens, Christmas roses," he nodded at each pot. "For your window boxes."

So he had noticed the dead plants. Vanessa looked wistfully at the silvery green ivy, the purple heather, the crimson cyclamens, and the pure white Christmas roses. The colors were so vibrant after the uniform grays and browns of the sea and the sand, they almost blinded her.

"They're beautiful, but... I might not be around that long," she said. A slightly uncomfortable flicker in his eyes, but again, he didn't remark on it.

"You agreed to fix up the van. I'm holding you to that," he said. When Vanessa still hesitated, he added, "The bloke at the garden center said they'll do well in the cold and don't need much looking after. Consider them a house-warming gift." He pressed the pots into her arms. The soft petals brushed against her cheeks. She couldn't help but smile at him. He smiled back, and suddenly it was like the sun had come out after all.

***

Despite her initial hesitation, Vanessa soon found the plants a welcomed distraction. They gave her something to do, something to look forward to, a reason to get out of bed in the morning after a night full of pain and morphine. She took her time cleaning out the window boxes, filling them with the potting mix Tom also got her from the garden center, and arranging the plants into the most pleasing combinations. Sometimes, while she worked, she didn't even notice the pain.

Tom himself was becoming a welcomed distraction as well. He often walked past her caravan on his way to work in the morning or coming back from work in the evening. He never stopped, only nodded at her or said a quick hello, but Vanessa had the suspicion that he was checking up on her. She didn't have a chance to confirm her suspicion until one morning, after a particular bad night, she was stirred from her morphine-induced stupor by a persistent banging on her door. She dragged herself out of bed and opened the door, to find Tom on the other side.

"Oh thank Christ," he said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Thought you were..." He noticed her ashen face and the way she gripped the door frame. "You OK?"

"Overslept my beauty sleep," Vanessa mumbled.

"Looks like you need more of it," he said, quickly stepping inside and guiding her to the sofa, where she collapsed.

"How dare you." She tried to laugh, but only a dry croaking sound emerged.

"Sure you're all right?"

"Mmm." It took too much effort to nod. "Just need to stay off my feet a bit."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Some medical-grade marijuana would be nice," she said, half joking.

"Marijuana I can get. Don't know about medical-grade though."

Vanessa opened an eye and peeked at Tom to make sure he wasn't winding her up. He looked solemn as a judge. She gave a weak chuckle. "Better not risk it, then." The pain was manageable now, only the sleepless night was taking its toll on her. Tom still hovered over her. "You'll be late for work."

"You shouldn't be alone." He didn't add "when you die", but Vanessa understood it. She glanced at him. He was looking at the floor, chewing his lips, trying to hide his concern. She felt a little annoyed, and then felt guilty for feeling annoyed. She was sure her caravan wasn't on his usual route to work, yet he went out of his way every day just to say hi to her, to make sure she was all right. Her heart melted a little at that.

"I'm not going to die today, if that's what you're worrying about," she said, burying her head in a cushion. He mumbled an uncertain "Okay," then she heard the soft click of the door as he left.

He came back that evening, bringing a steaming pot. "Made you some stew."

Vanessa, who had been so nauseous that she could only manage to nibble a few crackers, eyed the pot warily. "What's in it?"

"Snips, snails, and puppy dog tails," Tom said. When Vanessa raised her brow quizzically at him, he grinned. "My mum used to say that when I was being fussy. It's just potatoes and veg and beef." Then he added apologetically, "Do you eat meat? Sorry, forgot to ask."

"I do," she said. She got a whiff of the pot and suddenly was ravenous. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound fussy. It smells delicious. Thank you."

Tom ladled the stew into a bowl.

The first spoonful sent warmth throughout her body, almost drowning out the nagging, ever-present pain in her bones. "You made this?" she asked, scooping up another.

"Don't sound so surprised," Tom snapped back with a laugh.

"Where'd you learn how to cook?"

"Single working mum. I had to cook if me and my little sister wanted to eat." Vanessa was quiet, thinking of her own spoiled childhood. Her mother hadn't even allowed her in the kitchen, let alone cook.

She had almost finished the bowl before remembering to ask Tom, "You're not eating?"

"Nah, it's for you. It'll keep in the fridge. If you don't mind eating stew for several days, that is."

"I don't mind," she said, touched by his thoughtfulness.

But she didn't actually have to eat stew for several days. Tom kept coming back with more hot food until Vanessa insisted on paying him, at least for the ingredients. He seemed reluctant at first, but when she refused to let him cook for her anymore, he relented. And that became their routine. In the morning, Tom would pass by her caravan, and Vanessa would wave at him from the window or the front door, where she was working on the window boxes. In the evening, he would drop in and cook for both of them. His dishes were nothing fancy, and some of his food combinations sounded downright bizarre (who had ever heard of a spaghetti sandwich?) but for Vanessa, who had been living on canned soups and crackers since she arrived at the park, what he could do with a bit of mince, a can of tomato, and some herbs and spices was nothing short of a Michelin-starred restaurant meal.

She felt bad about letting Tom do all the work while she lounged around, but the kitchen was so tiny and her pain-ridden legs were so clumsy that the one time she tried to help, she ended up sloshing a pot of boiling potatoes over Tom's hands.

"You're such a menace," Tom laughed, as Vanessa, in a barrage of apologies, held his hands under the cold tap. "Back to the sofa with you."

"But I wanted to help," Vanessa said, trying to ignore the way their fingers were intertwined.

"Fine, entertain me then. That counts as helping."

She reluctantly disentangled her hand from his and returned to the sofa. Putting on some music seemed too lazy, so she picked up the book she had left on the table. "How about I read you something?" she asked. Tom shrugged, and she flipped through the book until something caught her eyes.

"OK. This one's appropriate:

The timeless waves, bright, sifting, broken glass, Came dazzling around, into the rocks, Came glinting, sifting from the Americas.

To possess Aran. Or did Aran rush to throw wide arms of rock around a tide That yielded with an ebb, with a soft crash?

Did sea define the land or land the sea? Each drew new meaning from the waves' collision. Sea broke on land to full identity.

Well, kind of. We're in Cornwall, not the Aran."

"That's beautiful," Tom said, pausing his cooking to listen. "What is it?"

"A poem, by Seamus Heaney. You know him?"

Tom shook his head. "Not much time for poetry in Derby. Sounds lovely though."

Vanessa bent her head down, glad that Tom had his back to her so he couldn't see her quickly heating cheeks. She had picked the poem because it was about the sea. She didn't think about how it was a love poem as well. How stupid of her. It was right there in the title, "Lovers on Aran". Hopefully Tom had simply appreciated the beautiful words and not thought much about their deeper meaning.

"He's one of my favorite poets," she said, to get her mind off her blunder. "I was going to uni to study poetry, but then I got diagnosed and... that was the end of that."

"I thought about going to uni too. Maybe in Derby, so I can stay close to mum and Clare. Was saving up for it, actually," Tom said as he took the shepherd's pie off the hob. The caravan had no oven, but that didn't stop him. Vanessa hadn't even known that you could make shepherd's pie without an oven.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Tom shrugged. "Just didn't see a point to it."

Vanessa had noticed that Tom tended to become cross whenever their conversation veered toward the future. It was as if he didn't want to think too far ahead, wishing to live in the present only. That she could certainly understand. She just didn't understand why he would feel that way. Most of the time she would let it go and change the subject. That day, however, she felt like challenging him.

"So what, you're going to faff around here, doing maintenance work for the rest of your life?" she asked.

"What's wrong with that?" Tom was getting defensive now; the faint scar on his forehead, which he told Vanessa was from a childhood accident, turned bright red.

"Nothing. But you have choices. You can plan..."

"Thing about planning is, something always happens to ruin it. You of all people should know that."

Vanessa's face fell. "Cheap shot," she mumbled. She was only gratified to see that Tom also seemed to realize he'd said the wrong thing. He put his fork down and reached across the table for her hand, patting it.

"Sorry."

Vanessa continued to glower at him, trying not to show how good his warm hand felt over hers. "OK, you're forgiven," finally she said. "But only because how good this shepherd's pie is."

They didn't talk much about the future after that. Instead, talked about their childhood, about Tom coming down to Cornwall every summer and Vanessa growing up in Surrey, and their schooldays, which, when you were just out of school, seemed like yesterday and yet so far away at the same time. Vanessa didn't talk about her family, but she liked to listen to Tom talk about his dad, a builder who died of a heart attack when Tom was nine, his mum, and his little sister, Clare, born after their dad died, whom Tom seemed to dote on.

"Do you miss him, your dad?" Vanessa asked.

"Sometimes." Tom's voice was steady, but he was misty-eyed.

"It must've been hard, him dying so sudden like that."

"Yeah. Mum never gets over it, really. I don't think she even minds him dying much, just that we never got to say goodbye."

Vanessa's thought wandered to her own family.

"Wish I could tell my family that."

"What?"

"That it's OK to say goodbye."

Tom gave her a long look. "Why couldn't you?"

"There's no point. They wouldn't listen. I was born into the most dramatic family in all of Great Britain," Vanessa said with a mirthless laugh.

And, as if the floodgates had opened up, she told him everything about her family. How they had always been overprotective of her, because she was the youngest. Her brother and sister were much older - Miles by twelve years and Julie by nine - and both had left home when she was young, so her parents treated her almost like an only child. She had always felt guilty about it. It had only gotten worse after her diagnosis. Her mum quit all her hobbies and dragged Vanessa to every treatment center she could find. Julie, who was working in Manchester, took a job closer to Surrey so she could help out. They were walking on eggshells around her, alternating between sorrowful tears and a forced cheerfulness that she found even worse than the sorrow. Things had come to a head at Miles's wedding back in June. Vanessa had fainted in the middle of the ceremony and had to be taken to the ICU. Miles and his wife, Becca, had to put their honeymoon on hold because it had seemed touch and go for a while. They had been very gracious about it, but Vanessa couldn't forgive herself. "After that, I decided to leave," she told Tom. "I don't want my illness and my death to take over their lives."

What she didn't say was that everything her family did was a constant reminder of her impending death, and she couldn't take it. That was why she'd run away. But she couldn't admit it, let alone tell Tom that. Not after she'd put up such a front about not being afraid to die, like a child who kept telling herself there was no boogeyman under the bed.

"Maybe you could still try telling them," Tom said. "Again. Louder. Can't expect people to read your mind."

Vanessa looked at him curiously. When she first met him, he just seemed like a lad, albeit a cute one, but with not much depth. Yet here he was, pointing things out in such a simple, straightforward way that she couldn't help but to see the truth in them.

Despite such heavy talk, though, the thought of death was almost absent from Vanessa's mind during those cozy evenings. The pain was still there, but it was only a faint throb, easily ignored. It only came back when Tom left, but the smile he gave her as he said goodbye was enough for her to face it.

Chapter 3

#tom grant #tom make up #tom grant fic #tom grant x ofc #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic

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