#I may or may not write this scene in its entirety LMAO

[glupshittostan]

this is actually how blind betrayal went down

#been obsessed still with writing my for Addy and Danse hehe they’re idiots in love #you can probably find my fics around here somewhere I’ll bump the post up #I may or may not write this scene in its entirety LMAO #fallout #og #amelia art #Paladin Danse #Elder Maxson #fanfiction #fallout 4 #blind betrayal #sole survivor #arthur maxson

[marvelousmagicalaura]

I've been having a lot of discussions and thoughts about Ruin's future sight, Preservation's plans, and Harmony's knowledge.

Because of this, I have a good basis on how to write Ruin in my Mistborn AU. Sanderson has hinted that Ruin is the power of change and entropy, so I really want to lean in that direction. Rather than portraying him as the entity of death and destruction that Sanderson wrote him as, I want to write him as the God of Decay and Entropy. Everything we associate with canon Ruin would be parts of his desire/methods of ensuring that all things degrade and decay. Death and destruction are parts of his Intent, but they aren’t forefront in the Intent. The forefront of Ruin’s Intent consists of degradation, entropy, and chaos. To enhance this idea, I may write that AU Ruin pushes people to embrace uncertainty and change.

For example, we know that Ruin canonically pulled the strings behind Kelsier’s rebellion and the discovery of the Eleventh Metal. I would enhance this idea, so that Ruin is responsible for the rise and fall of pre-Rashek empires and kingdoms, war, the advancement of technology, and rebellions. In the Final Empire’s context he would be responsible for guiding its various rebellions, and for advancing technology in the less controlled Dominances.

Ruin weaves and executes multiple, branching schemes to ensure the subtle, slow downfall of Scadrial and its empires. He knows there are countless ways his Intent is present in the Universe, and will execute them through any avenue. I would significantly expand on his actions throughout history.

I desperately intend to expand upon Ruin’s precognitive abilities. It doesn’t feel right downplaying Ruin’s future sight when the only WoB we have about it came from 2012, way before Sanderson truly incorporated precognition into the Cosmere. Not only that but the Mistborn trilogy was written before he solidified Cosmere-wide mechanics. I think that once a Mistborn adaptation comes out, we will truly see his abilities in action.

AU Ruin’s future sight would still be inferior to Preservation. It feels slightly wrong LMAO, but it’s necessary for the ending. But it’s far better than Elend’s future vision and Odium’s future sight.

I haven’t read Stormlight yet, but I heard that Odium definitively has future sight. Going by the IRL definition of the word “odium,” I believe canon Ruin’s Intent of causing death and destruction requires a lot more foresight/planning than inducing hatred.

AU Ruin would also be so much more destructive when released. I want to give Ruin more influence over the world by creating more natural disasters - earthquakes with more impact, floods, earthquakes, blizzards, thunderstorms, tornadoes and hurricanes, scenes of Luthadel’s death etc…

Right now I plan to say that weakened Ruin w/ Preservation’s presence can manipulate phenomena that already exists in Scadrial's natural science. He can manipulate and create anything on the planet to his liking, but he can't _completely_ destroy its structure. He can't do feats like reduce the continents to nothingness, boil the oceans in their entirety, or burn the planet down until nothing remains.

But he can do everything the Lord Ruler accomplished during his Ascension. Weakened Ruin can move the continents or split them apart, move the planet, boil the oceans so they’re absurdly hot, and make the planet hotter or colder.

#mistborn #cosmere #mistborn critical #cosmere critical #mistborn rewrite #mistborn ruin #brief mention of stormlight #brief mention of odium #ruin is the god of decay and entropy #can’t see how odium could possibly see into the future better than odium #better see some of ruin’s future sight in the mistborn adaptation

[lichfucker]

well. I'd like to hear more about brain damage in d minor and. obviously. silvermiranda revenge sex fic. obviously.

I just talked about brain damage in d minor in the last post so I'm just gonna skip straight to the silvermiranda revenge sex fic lmao

I simply think the most evil thing the writers of black sails ever did was decide that miranda should have ten years of absolutely atrocious sex and then die. she deserves better dick than the g-ddamn pastor.

originally this was going to be a scene in to cross running water, my massive vampire!flint au, but it made more sense as its own thing. it takes place shortly before the end of s1, after flint and miranda have their fight in 107. she's pissed at flint and wants to get back at him and correctly deduces that the most upsetting thing she could do to him would be to fuck his little thief. so she does! because I'm a feminist.

I've only written like 500 words of this fic—for a long time I was considering it "the fic I promised myself I would never write," because at that point I had never written smut before— so below the cut is literally the entirety of this fic as it currently exists:

James never comes when he and Miranda lie together. There’s no blame to be had for it, no resentment, no shame; it’s an understanding they’d come to long ago. He takes care of her, and then he takes care of himself. Most times she offers to finger him, and on occasion he accepts. He certainly enjoys it—she’d not offer if he didn’t—but still it isn’t quite what he needs to get there. Thomas always used to speak of the journey superseding the destination, when it came to sex: an orgasm is lovely, but it’s hardly the only thing that can be accomplished in the act. “They do call it ‘making love,’” he would say, “and love can be found at any point along the way, not merely at the climax.”

So James never comes. Miranda never expects he will.

But he did, recently. James came with three of Miranda’s fingers inside of him, his fist around his cock, a sibilant hiss on his lips.

She’d asked him, afterwards, what he had been thinking about, her curiosity piqued, but he’d simply gone silent. At first she took it to mean that he’d been thinking of Thomas, and that the matter was too tender to withstand her lighthearted teasing, or perhaps that he’d sought to spare her the grief of giving voice to the empty space where once had stood the pillar that kept them stable. And yet it gnawed at her, benignly—Miranda knows the difference between James’ grief and his shame. The two are so entwined that most people cannot discern them, cannot see them at all behind the illusory rage crafted by their combined silhouette, but Miranda knows the difference. She likely knows it better than he does, himself.

She would have been content to keep the theory to herself, to hold onto it until such a time as it could withstand some teasing, until it could draw a flush onto his freckled cheeks rather than venom onto his tongue. She would have held it like a precious thing, a thing to be kept warm and safe until he were ready to care for it himself. She would have sheltered it.

And then James read her fucking letter. And then he besmirched and derided her, condemned her for the crime of wanting anything beyond this vapid, stagnant life. She deserves better than to have sat here for ten years going putrid in the Caribbean heat, and she deserves better than to sit here for ten more, and he had the gall to paint her villainous for it. So this suspicion of hers that the small writhing s trying so valiantly to force its way out through his gritted teeth may have been the aborted beginnings of a name, this suspicion which she had intended to cradle gently in her palms… well, now she intends to grip it the way he would the hilt of a sword: white-knuckled and deliberate. She would have had fun good-naturedly needling him with it. Now she is going to have a very different sort of fun.

#laufire #thanks lau #bluh bluh #I am not making a tag for this fic I refuse #sdflksd

[flesh-into--gear]

@rozecrest this was just easier but im so glad you liked it!

honestly you can't go wrong with any of his albums.

Purgatory is hilariously strong from start to finish and has these tracks which i love (i love the whole album but, in order)

I Swear (To God)

Feathered Indians

Tattoos

Purgatory

Universal Sound

Lady May

Live at Red Barn Radio I & II in absolute entirety tbh but the usual standouts are here

Shake the Frost

Deadman's Curve

Charleston Girl

Rock Salt and Nails

Follow You To Virgie (oof, about his mom, its a hard listen some days but FUCK its good.)

Bottles and Bibles

Country Squire was a mild style change-up, a little more honky-tonk. it's got some great tracks on it but it was also a mild writing departure for him as well, focusing a little more on country tropes and a LOT more tongue in cheek (the song Ever Lovin' Hand is a masturbation joke wrapped in a song about missing the person you love a lot). probably his weakest album? but:

Creeker

House Fire

Peace of Mind

All Your'n

Long Violent History is a kinda cool album, it's all instrumentals, old school holler jams and stuff. kinda hard to get into unless you're from that kinda thing i would assume? just reminds me of when i was a kid at thanksgiving and christmas back when we still spoke to my dad's side, and he and my uncles and one of my aunts would all get together and jam on some old gospel and bluegrass tunes. everybody brought instruments.... ah well. but i digress. you can take me out of the country but ill always be a big tomboy butch who gets a little too excited around jacked up trucks of a specific set of years, or the smell of gas and oil in the morning.

Can I Take My Hounds To Heaven i admittedly completely checked out on because i was deep in covid depression throes so i can't and won't comment because it won't be an accurate representation so.

Rustin' In The Rain I still haven't taken time to fully check out, as im working through a music backlog, but.

In Your Love is an incredible song and go watch the video because it cut me deep as fuck. i know a lot of people still stuck in those mines and i have friends with family members dying today because of coal companies. and im a trans woman from backwoods VA with all my roots in Appalachia from both sides (we had a handful of bootleggers in the family, explains a lot tbh). song hit me hard, in a good way.

anyway! im sorry! thank you for listening to me ramble about an artist i really enjoy! one of these days i should really just start a podcast called "Nobody Asked" and it's just me screaming into a microphone about stuff like this!

like dave matthews! like yeah i get it "ha ha dad rock" but come on!

Live at Radio City with Tim Reynolds is a fucking MONSTER album! and dave is a good guy! or at minimum is actually worthy of supporting because the dude has been doing activist things quietly and loudly for longer than ive been alive! and their music spans so many genres!

Eh Hee

Bartender

Still Water / Don't Drink The Water (back to back! they must be listened to together! please listen to this and Bartender off Live at Radio City)

#41

Two Step

Satellite

Some Devil

Grace Is Gone

and thats not even touching a fraction of this man's catalogue, he's been making music for forty something years

ahain im sorry i just really really love music and GAH theres so many artists from my chilhood and teen years and stuff that get so undeservedly swept under a rug because... i really don't know why. i feel like a lot of artists immediately get written off because of styles or genres or whatever and thats just so unfair and upsets ke geeatly.

that's not directed at you whatsoever rozecrest to be clear lmao sorry it may have come off that way

also anyone who has an interest in bluegrass/gospel go listen to The Seldom Scene's "Old Train" and "Live at the Cellar Door" in their entirety

#music

[thebroccolination]

Was Cutie Pie before you came over to tumblr? (I follow you on tweeter too, and cant keep the flow of time straight in my head lmao)

Anyways, yes, i saw that trailer and my first thought after AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH was "does key know? Probably, but just in case, we should say a thing in their inbox"

I kept seeing Kuea and no Lian in the trailer, and i was soooo worried for a hot second and then as soon as my brain was like "but what if no Zee??? 😭😭😭" THERE HE WAS.

Im so pumped. More good writing and good acting with absolutely outrageous storylines. Cant wait for the ridiculous scenarious they come up with interspersed with the heartwrenching moments of love and care. Absolutely thrilled to witness two more boneheads who cannot get their shit together. Fully gonna rewatch Cutie Pie in its entirety at least 17 more times to prepare.

Hi, Anon!

It was, yes! Cutie Pie waaas January-ish of 2022?

And awww! I'm so happy to hear you thought of me. :')

I'm delighted that we'll get more of Kuea and Diao's friendship, because that was hands-down one of my favorite aspects of Cutie Pie. NuNew and Nat have such a sweet real-life friendship, it really lends authenticity to their acting relationship.

And yessss, I'll have to rewatch Cutie Pie again too. \:D/

As much as I affectionately poke fun at it, Cutie Pie really does hit me emotionally. LianKuea's scene on the park bench? The music? The conversation? I love them so much.

May we both gracefully endure the wait, Anon!

#kiranokira answers #cutie pie the series #naughty babe th

[vegaprose]

2. Is it hard for you to write with characters you don’t know/don’t know well? 4. Which muse of yours is your all time favorite? if you stopped writing them: why? 10. What genre do you most enjoy, whether in roleplay, or fiction as a whole? (fantasy, period, superhero, etc.)

@honorhearted | mun

Is it hard for you to write with characters you don’t know/don’t know well?

It depends on the character really. I barely know every tiny little detail about Thomas Shelby because my first viewing started about two weeks ago, so with him I just research if threads call for it. I’ll also watch videos and such of scenes that I haven’t yet watched, not really caring about spoilers, cause I’m the one late to the party, lmao. My dad has been telling me to watch it in its entirety for years so I’m getting right into that now and it’s helping my portrayal.

Which muse of yours is your all time favorite? if you stopped writing them: why?

Lestat is my all time favourite muse and he always will be. I’m very particular about which versions I like, meaning I only like the 1994 portrayal. I may be biased because of my adorations relating to Tom Cruise, but his Lestat is the very first one I saw and I have never liked any other take on the character besides his own ( and I have given every other portrayal a chance, I’m not crazy, lmao ). I adore book Lestat and find Tom’s take very accurate and the closest to canon, therefore I revere. I’ll never drop him as a muse because he is a comfort character for me and when all else fails in my writing, I have him to fall back on, as Lestat always gets me writing no matter how deep I’m in a rut or some form of writers block.

What genre do you most enjoy, whether in roleplay, or fiction as a whole? (fantasy, period, superhero, etc.)

In roleplay, my favourites are romance and angst, whilst my favourites overall in media tend to be romance and horror or sometimes sci-fi. I’m not overly picky about genres when it comes to movies and books and such, nor in rp really, but I tend to gravitate towards those most of all.

#&&. mun responds #&&. asks #&&. ooc. thank you very much for sending these in! c: #honorhearted

[bottomvalerius]

me waiting for you to post more sam content (even if its just hcs man) cause this old fuckers got me ON MY KNEES-

Literally cannot emphasize enough how happy it makes me that people actually like peepaw dnsjskskskks I don’t think I do doms a lot of justice imo, and he’s not a character I typically would think to write into existence but I’m glad people like him as much as I do :’))

As a treat I will now stream-of-consciousness style rattle off a bunch of Peepaw thoughts I’m currently having/want to develop more (undercut cause length, but also some brief mentions of kink and sex too lol)

When I PMS, I get particularly feral thoughts and this go around I was seized by the idea of Sam having a fling with a ship captain who is just a knock-off LongJohn Silver from Treasure Planet who just…… absolutely destroys and daddys him for the entirety of the trip 😭😭😭 just like “has anyone seen Samir?” “Captain __ still has him tied up in his private quarters.” “Oh that’s good! It’s good we keep him humble.” Dndjskdkdk

I’ve been working on a few of his long-term bedmates, most of which are just a variety of subs and switches, but two in particular (Imelda and Neeja) like permanently stay at the Pearl Isles and essentially run shit while Sam is out and about being a whore :’) In general, I’m writing the Isles being more of a tourist-y spot/a spot that nobles just fuck off too for fun, so there really isn’t much for Sam to really oversee that another person can’t do.

Developing this further, but dance and music are Big Things to him, and he and Mara used to play privately a lot together (I like the idea of Mara playing the saraswati veena and Sam playing the mridangam) All of this was very much inspired by this video lmao and this is also why I’m considering having his sister and niece be professional dancers too :’) eventual family drama is brewing in my brain

Very much a “Food is Life; do not come between us” kinda guy. I’ve mentioned in passing but Sam is actually a very good cook and will sometimes spoil his partners by preparing them a meal heheh

Besides fucking all the time, he works out as much as he can. He’s very close with his yoga instructor, and he also is a very good swimmer (which I may or may not use this detail in an eventual fic with Nasrin lmao) Some healthy queer sparring and hunting is also always on the table lmao He also just walks a lot!

He’s very conscious about keeping himself in shape and this is directly tied to his idea that he isn’t useful if he isn’t active/healthy, which is directly a response to his injury during adolescence 😬 he really never has shaken the role of being a provider, and the idea of that eventually not being the case anymore the older he gets fills him with a lot of guilt and anxiety. He craves power and control and being independent like. All the time LMAO

Was much closer personally to his fathers than his mother, but he did spend most of his childhood trying to do anything to meet her expectations of him. He really does adore her a lot and just wanted her attention more when compared to his other siblings :’) Which is not something that went away clearly; there’s a clear trend in his relationships with older women compared to the men/gnc people in his life LMFAO

UMM REMEMBER WHEN THIS WAS ABOUT SEX SORRY LMFAO

He does really enjoy group sex as he can easily delegate tasks to people if he’s feeling more winded without breaking a scene LMAO prefers domming with other people as opposed to dealing with two subs, but he would never say no to putting two brats in place once lmfao

Sam has really only ever had like two exclusive doms in his life (well maybe three now if we’re including the new pirate man in my dreams LMAO): Mara and Nasrin. He and Mara actually didn’t like fuck often (Mara was just in general a very kinky person and incorporated it a lot into her life; watching her whip a grown man was just. Common. LMAO), but she essentially showed him the ropes and introduced him to the things he enjoyed. But she was overall the dominant figure in his life and dictated much of what he did day to day, which was something he really craved at the time. Nasrin is more black and white in that she just will never submit to Sam, and Sam truly has no intention of trying to cross that barrier with her lmfao

#asks #anon #OC lore #the duke #this really went ‘haha fun sexy times to SAM HAS DEEP DEEP MOMMY ISSUES and then back to sex lmfao

[mertronus]

2021 YEAR IN REVIEW: FANFIC WRITER EDITION

Again, @bluegreenandpurple made me do it! But actually, as 2021 was my first year writing/publishing, I'm excited to do this!

BEHIND THE NUMBERS:

words written: Way more than 334999

words published (AO3): 334999

# of published one-shots: 22 including drabbles and my 6th year AU series of one-shots

# of completed multi-chaps: 5

# of fics in progress: 3

# of ongoing multi-chaps: 3

# of fic ideas waiting their turn: pssshhh....way too many!

longest work: Definitely Mine - 139508 words and counting

shortest work: Neville & The Golden Trio at 748 words

most chapters in a fic: Mine (35 and counting)

highest # of kudos: Mine (392)

highest # of hits: Mine (17232)

top 3 fics by kudos: Mine (392) Just One Drink (154) Just Think What If and Brown Eyes & Spice are tied (122)

top 3 fics by hits: Mine (17232) The Pureblood Knight (4232) Just One Drink (4018)

most challenging fic to write: I have to say that one of my current WIPs Brown Eyes & Spice is giving me a run for my money! It started off so strong that I feel the pressure as a writer to keep it at that level and not disappoint.

fic that came easiest to write: I think Just One Drink

most true-to-the-outline fic: Secret Mission

most unlike-its-outline fic: The Pureblood Knight totally veered off to a hard left lmao! But it turned out great

favorite reader freak-out: I live and write for @bjornthorsson20's comments, whether written or (my personal favorite) audio

I also love when @bluegreenandpurple leaves crazy comments while beta-ing, and @wingardiumromione @reallybeth9 and a few others leave the best love

most controversial scene: (Mine spoiler alert) For some reason Ron leaving in Mine seemed to turn a lot of heads! Many thought he wouldn't leave but...yeah.

hottest ask box topic of the year: I really haven't indulged in the ask box much

most loved OC: Dave...always Dave

most hated OC: Everyone hates Dave

favorite villain to write: Okay, I love writing Lavender Brown as the villain. But sometimes she's the bestie too...gotta love a versatile character!

favorite character to write: Ronald Bilius "The King" "Arm Candy" Weasley. Hands down.

most i’ve cried while writing a scene: OMG I absolutely BAWLED while writing a scene of A Little Witch!!! Like had to keep stopping to wipe my tears. Also, there's an upcoming scene of Mine that I've written through tears.

most i’ve laughed while writing a scene: The entirety of Stoned and Car-May-Suit? ...like laughed to tears while writing both!

smuttiest smut scene: Oooohhh... I think Just One Drink wins that one. But Weasley Is MY King is close too.

favorite kiss i wrote: Their first kiss in Mine ❤

hardest trope/thing to write: I find writing fight/action scenes hard...

easiest trope/thing to write: really anything where the cinnamon puffs are acting like idiots in love lol

proudest fic moment: I mean anything I post a new chapter/fic and get love I feel pretty damn proud.

any fic regrets? no not really...maybe starting 2 WIPS right when life hit the fan but other than that, nah

2021 fic habits to break: starting fics and then not finishing/posting them. I have so many started fics in my google drive y'all!! It's so unfair.

2022 fic habits to make: Make more time for myself and thus for writing. It's hard, since this hobby doesn't pay the bills, but it pays in so much more!

I really don't know who to tag... so I'll just toss up a few names! @reallybeth9 @mina-roman @dotadsty @accio-broom @be11atrixthestrange

#year in review #romione fanfic #romione fanfic writer

[lutiaskokopelli]

(directed at you, not the characters) so i found tfs today and have now read the whole comic and all the lore explanations and can i just say... wow. everything about it is absolutely amazing. i may just not have been looking in the right places, but i’ve never seen a fan-story quite like this one. i’ve read plenty of fan-comics and seen plenty of ask blogs, of course, but none that merge the two like this. and boy, is this done well. i can tell how much effort you must have put into crafting this plot, and love the balance of humour and seriousness you’ve found. the way you draw the action scenes (and everything else) is stunning, and your characterisation is fantastic. i could gush about this for pages and pages but it would ultimately boil down to: tfs is great and thank you so much for making it. and by the way, this is all from someone who usually doesn’t read/like self-insert type things. maybe i’ll have to give them another go, if they can be as great as this one. anyway, i hope youre having a fantastic day/night, and remember to stay hydrated!

After so long, finally I can answer. I’m so sorry your wholesome ask stayed in my inbox for so long, the past week was kinda hectic and I absolutely wanted to take time to answer you properly :’)

Anyway, that being said... Thank you. So, so much! First off, reading all the lore posts as well as the comic itself takes some dedication! I know I posted a few links in the AO3 version of the comic, but apart from the two must-read rule posts I gave separate links for, I didn't really expect readers to be like me and binge-read the entirety of the blog besides just the story itself, haha.

Thanks for your compliments on the comic! I doubt TFS is as unique as you think -- ask blogs with a plot are far more common than I initially thought (if you’re familiar with the Henry Stickmin games, then I highly recommend that you also take a look at Ending the Cycle), and the base concept of TFS is based off any of the countless Nuzlocke fanfics/comics that have been made in the Pokémon fandom. But as far as I know, it's the only one of its kind in the Hollow Knight fandom at least! Its concept and writing is not to everyone's taste, as is any story in general, but I'm glad and extremely thankful that it can still bring joy, laughs and feelz to so many readers.

The effort is in it, true, but I'll maintain that what makes the core of TFS' "talent/uniqueness"(?), besides just me being passionate and dedicated, is most of all a whole lot of experience -- especially when it comes to finding the right balance between humor and angst/seriousness. I've written stories online for a bit more than a decade by now, counting at least four full-fledged, so-long-and-plot-heavy-they-could-have-ten-seasons-and-a-movie-on-Netflix stories, of which TFS is the fourth and last to date (also out of those four, only the first was completed, whoops (and even then I wanted to rewrite it but the remastered version only covered the first half of the series). TFS is still ongoing, and the other two were just too plot-heavy even for me to handle lmao). So all that to say, I had all that time to figure out exactly what ambience I want for my stories, experiment here and there (especially in writing, in many of my older fanfics I would write some specific chapters by adding some rules or trying new things such as writing from an unexpected POV and such), until I found the balance I wanted -- and the best ways to break it every now and then, just to throw off my readers. Don't get too comfy in there, a few times in the past I had some readers tell me that my writing made them literally fall off their chairs :p

Funny story, I have a lot more confidence in my writing than in my drawing skills for some reason, even while English isn't even my native language xD Probably because it's hard to spot anatomy errors in writing, haha. But thanks! I'm starting to like my drawing style and I'm seeing my progress every now and then, so with that and the fact that drawing characters doing funny and/or epic stuff is highly satisfying, I'm having a blast writing/drawing TFS!

And lastly, I feel you a LOT on the "I'm someone who usually doesn't read/like self-insert type things", as I used to be / still kinda am one myself! Then again, it's just hard for me to find stuff I can read/watch and enjoy without having my inner critic go around and spot out every trope in general, of which the “self-insert” genre is just one out of so many. Seeing a trope that is done well and/or in a surprising way is incredibly satisfying to read, that's when you have me cheering; but when it’s used “raw” with little to no self-awareness of it being a trope and how this trope can be used, it becomes frustrating, or even infuriating at times, especially when it renders the story predictable. (Worst case scenario has both: tropes are used badly and at such consistent rate that just by seeing one small hint, one split-second later you've already predicted exactly what is going to happen if this trope too follows the same bad writing logic as the previous ones, and then when it lands exactly as predicted it's just the worst. I don't want to throw any punches for gratuitous violence, but... The one event when this exact scenario happened wasn't a fanfiction/fancomic. It was the SU movie, at the very least up until the last fifteen minutes or so.)

TL;DR, Tropes Are Tools, they aren't inherently good or bad to use -- the way they are used is what makes them work or fail in a given context. Self-Inserts are notoriously bad because 90% if not all self-insert stories come from a self-indulgent story about yourself by definition, and I’d be hypocritical if I dared pretend that TFS didn’t start like one as well (at the very least, my other heavily meta fanstory Learn When to Quit is even more heavily Self-Insert based due to its plot and themes). Sadly, a majority of the authors of those stories want to keep the self-indulgent part (or don’t have the heart to remove it, it’s usually the latter) without adding any twist to it, or by adding twists to it that only make it even more self-indulgent, I guess.

I think that what would make both of my Self-Insert-character-turned-OCs work ("work” being a subjective term, very little things in fiction can work for every single reader on the planet), is that I was able to separate them from myself early enough and turn them into actual characters who can sometimes or oftentimes disagree with me as a person -- it’s usually easier to be less lenient on what insane stuff is thrown at a character if that character isn’t you personally, after all (despite how I pacifistic I am in nature and how I’d never dare do any of the things I do to my characters to actual people. I only ever have bad stuff happen to my characters because the plot needs it and (sometimes) because a point needs to be made). Once the Self-Insert-character-turned-OC is given the exact same treatment as any other character in the story, and now that they don’t take all the spotlight, it leaves enough space for what I actually want to talk about within those stories. Short version: if the Self-Insert character is treated like a random NPC with a “somewhat unusual backstory” instead of like “the One who knows everything about this world’s past, present and future and has the Infinite Benevolence to Solve Every Problem”, it gives more space for the other NPCs to exist and interact on equal terms, and it gives more space for actual plot stuff to occur normally. To me, the biggest trait an author needs to tone down the most in a Self-Insert character is just how much knowledge they have over the world they’re in. If the SI character knows everything about the videogame and has too little too many “lucky guesses” regarding headcanons the author has that occur in the story but didn’t show up in the game, you know you’re doing something wrong -- there’s no room for error, therefore no room for proper plot, if the SI character knows so much they can play detective and predict everything. My two takes to solve this “omniscient SI character” problem are to either 1) have the SI character be relatively new to the fandom -- they know the basics, but can still remember stuff wrong or don’t know everything to every detail; it helps a lot when the fandom’s canon content, like in Hollow Knight, is vague enough to let a lot of room for interpretation, because in that case, even if the SI character were to know “everything” regarding the fandom canon, what if they just so happened to have interpreted a few things the wrong way just because they weren’t on the “right” side of the fandom’s debate? The other option, which is a bit less appealing to me but not too uninteresting either: 2) the videogame’s world is uncannily close to what is depicted in the videogame the SI character knows, but too little too different to have the SI character assume things based on the videogame they know, only to make fatal mistakes. I used this in my Undertale fanfic Learn When to Quit because the simple fact of trying to implement functioning laws of physics out of a videogame where NPCs have videogame stats and having turn-based fights is bound to create quite a few discrepancies with the “100% canon videogame lore”; luckily, the Uncanny Valley effect was exactly what I was going for in this fanfic.

To the factual “SI character has played the game and therefore knows everything about this videogame world’s past, present and future” trait of the SI character, I’d also like to add the thankfully often tackled well (to an extent) moral trait of the, let’s say, “hard truth” that is at the core of these SI stories: ”the videogame and its characters are actually real." It’s a simple sentence to say, but usually has very deep and harsh consequences morality-wise within the stories: unintentional(?) voyeurism is the one that is probably common to every fandom subject to Self-Insert stories. Now, I’d have little to say about this one because at least half of the SI stories I know do tackle it according to the author’s level of maturity (I obviously won’t expect a 13-year-old author writing their first fanfic to write essays about existential crisis material); but the one criticism I usually keep in mind is that in most cases, only one or two characters will ever discuss the topic in-depth, while the other characters either aren’t aware of this Hard Truth, ignore the topic, or in the worst cases, somehow, use this Hard Truth in some way to be mean to SI character so that the other NPC can support them. (Just throwing a wild guess as to the identity of the two characters who will talk most about this Hard Truth: Self-Insert character and the one Videogame NPC the author happens to have chosen as their favorite character. Heck, I’m calling myself out right now because TFS starts out basically with that lmao, what with Player being the obvious one and Quirrel being my favorite HK character xD (as well as an “asker favorite”, quoting one asker in person word for word).)

If you’d like, I can give a few more details on each story separately so you can have more down-to-earth examples to the theoretical stuff I’ve said so far, and to contrast how two Self-Insert stories can tackle things in a variety of ways and have plots that are nothing alike despite the original concept ”Player gets stuck inside Videogame world against their will" being exactly the same to the letter:

For the Undertale fanfic Learn When to Quit, I’ve mostly been trying (emphasis on “trying”) to do a Deconstruction of your classic "player gets trapped inside videogame” story, by focusing on how the Player’s world interacts with the Videogame’s world. Where most of these stories will go “hehe and now Self-Insert plays with the characters and saves the world and then everybody is happy, Self-Insert doesn’t miss reality all that much after all”, LWtQ chooses the different take to at least have the Self-Insert character still try to contact her family and wish to go home, and on the other side the player’s family is actually depicted trying to look for their missing child. As it turns out, the player character was kidnapped by a character from the videogame, and since the player disappeared suddenly and against their will: the player has reasons to want to go home and be apprehensive towards the videogame world (and the Uncanny Valley effect I talked about earlier only enhances the SI character’s distress and distrust over the videogame’s world and inhabitants, which by itself generates a sub-plot that isn’t just your typical cheap quiproquo because the readers themselves are led to question whether or not they can trust the videogame world); the family and friends are insanely worried, therefore the police is involved and tries to investigate; and the videogame character who kidnapped the player in the first place is overwhelmed because they didn’t anticipate many of the consequences to their actions, due to their limited knowledge of how the player’s world works. I won’t pretend that LWtQ is the only fic that ever did/will do that, but out of all the fanfics I’ve ever read so far, there’s only two others I can remember that gave some screen time to the SI character’s relatives/friends in a similar situation, if at all. And on top of that: the story focuses not on just one (1) SI character; sure, only one ends up in the videogame world, but there’s still a dozen who all interact and know each other as well as the SI character who disappeared, and each of these player characters have their own families and friends and have their own separate lives apart from the videogame. Throughout the story, many characters from both the player’s world and the videogame’s world are eventually destined to face the same Hard Truth (”the videogame and its characters are actually real" / “In another world, our universe is just a videogame and the reason why we have a genocidal human problem is because the ones who play the game are kids who have no idea what they’re doing”), truth to which they all react in vastly different ways-- all of which are (hopefully) reactions real people would have if they were in the respective characters’ situation.

In TFS, I put a lot less thought behind the whole SI problem, namely because I had far less ambitions on this comic than I did on LWtQ -- heck, it just started as a parody with little to no plot besides my notes on how the original playthrough went, the only reason I started this comic was because I wanted to draw a comic but didn’t want to bother with a complex plot, for a change. So I guess that what makes the SI character work anyway is the fact that I was able relatively fast to shift the focus of the story on other characters besides just the Player, through the excuse of letting the readers interact with some other NPCs as well, without the Player being present or even aware of it. The Hard Truth “the videogame and its characters are actually real” is only known by one side (Player and the readers/askers) and isn’t shared by the bugs (yet?), so it isn’t given as much focus as, simply, the interactions between characters and the readers, and between the characters themselves. On top of that, this Hard Truth isn’t even applied the same way as in the UT fanfic: in LWtQ, the fact that players played Undertale had actual consequences in the LWtQ version of the Underground (aka killing a random pixelated NPC on your PC actually kills a real monster in the LWtQ version of the Underground), and on top of that a number of Undertale characters already know that the videogame exists as soon as the fanfic starts -- hence lots of meta talks, angst and many, many moral/existential crises (as well as memes, of course. Always.); in TFS, Hallownest is just Hallownest and the videogame is just a videogame, and both exist within the same multiverse simply because of the stupid reason “What is a coincidence among the infinity of the multiverse?” (the bad math transcription would be “what is zero times infinity? Depending on the infinity you choose, I guess it can give you a probability of 100%”). It doesn’t mean that TFS won’t also have the Hallownest bugs also learn about the videogame and possibly have some existential crisis material to some extent, especially given the asks Quirrel has been getting; but it just isn’t nearly as much the core of the plot as it was in LWtQ. In TFS, the core of the plot is... wait, sorry, what plot again? (oh yeah right there’s a lot of questions to answer, but that’s just backstory and worldbuilding, that’s not a plot)

Anyway I kept adding digression to digression because I wanted to tackle every point you made, and I’m so sorry that the end turned into an essay about Self-Insert stories fjkdlsmqjgklmjgksdqlm

But the core of the message is a big THANK YOU! TFS may be great because of my hard work and past experiences with other stories that came before it, but it wouldn't be even half as great if I didn't have all of you guys backing me up with constant asks, most of which renew both my interest in making the story and my capability to jump off any opportunity to bring out new plot ideas within minutes! TFS is my first real ask blog, so with your wholesome participation combined with my experience as the plotter type of author (read "I will not write a single line of text in this fanfic before I haven't first figured out to the letter how the plot goes from start to end" type of author), it's bound to be an interesting cocktail! I've been learning to plot faster, more efficiently, and to accept to delete at least some ideas if they happen to become obsolete. All in all, I see this as some great teamwork! And for that, I want to send y'all a big applause and a ton of thank-yous <3

#the5thsave #asks #ask

[starshine-selfships]

Local man is desperately in love with his boyfriend but thought too hard and managed to convince himself that he made up the whole romance aspect and his partner doesn't actually feel the same way, so why even continue the act? Also he's wrong and his boyfriend loves him very much and that's all there is to it 😤💕

I am not a writer, I'm an artist, but I felt like giving this a shot. Both of us use he/him and I didn't actually plan anything, so I went back and color coded my own pronouns and dialogue; I do have a version without the colors as a backup however. Tbh I don't really care about the quality since again, I basically never write, and I also wrote this 100% for myself lmao, almost stream of consciousness baybee

That being said, I'm sorry I write like a pretentious victorian poet lsjdkdkx 😣

Soft. Just like everything else about him. Soft hair he yearned to stroke and bury his face in, soft hands shaping the air as he spoke, hands he wanted nothing more than to take into his own, to lift them and press a gentle kiss upon them. He even spoke softly, almost seeming afraid to break the silence, whispering and enunciating words as though speaking a prayer. Hearing his own name spoken in that quiet, intimate tone was enough to make him light headed, immediately overtaken by the delicacy of the interaction. His gaze was the most stunning feature, as it betrayed his past with pinpoint accuracy. The witnessing of humanity's cruelty did nothing to harden his stare; his eyes shone with a purely kind demeanor, merciful and trusting.

And such was the gaze fixed upon him in this moment, and he fought the desperate urge to meet it. He knew he didn't like eye contact and couldn't bear committing such an act of disturbance. He kept his gaze averted, feeling how almost painfully strong his heartbeat had grown, his frail frame beginning to shudder under its force. The incessant pounding had to be audible, and if that alone didn't lie the entirety of his being on the floor in front of him, then the heat steadily spreading across his face surely did. His emotions outpaced him, rushing with such force so that he'd never had a chance to restrain them, instead left fighting a losing war in a desperate attempt to not give himself away.

His gaze flickered nervously back to his beloved. He maintained that gaze long enough to see him smile warmly in response, causing his chest to feel just a bit tighter, his heart to beat only more forcefully. In spite of knowing his error - maintaining that dreaded eye contact - , he couldn't look away; to do so would constitute a betrayal, a moment of recognition followed by willful ignorance. He folded his hands, attempting to return the smile but being far too shaken for it to seem genuine. His darling softly laughed at the awkwardness of the gesture, voice as warm as the morning sun. He could no longer bear the strain of his sight, squeezing his eyes shut and turning away as the laughter rang in his head.

He had to be mistaken. His feelings should not be so insurmountable, something even he couldn't fully grip. He had lost all subtlety, and for what? The slim chance of reciprocation? Did such a chance even exist? He felt as though he'd combust if he remained in that room with him. The initially sweet feelings became sickening as he steeped in them, becoming almost shameful as they continued. He shouldn't need this. He was better than this. Was he though? Why couldn't he stop himself?

Simply stand up and leave? His legs would give out underneath him. Voice his firm objections? His voice would fail him. Physically remove that boy? The very thought of using any force at all placed more weight onto his chest, thinking of the sheer guilt and regret that would come from even accidentally inflicting pain. His attentive nature and eye for detail was his strong suit, but it was also what had gotten him more attached than he'd prefer, faster than he could've ever thought possible.

Beginning with patterns and habits he'd found amusing and leading to finding beauty in his every step. From seeing him avidly read and stargaze, to noticing how the sunlight reflected off his hair, to noticing the colors on barely visible earrings, to seeing his eyes flit back and forth between him and the window. Did he find looking at him to be unpleasant? Was he put off by the antennas? The insect features? The status? The reputation? Did not knowing also keep him awake at night? Did he like music? Did he think brown eyes were pretty? Why was he allowing himself to even consider these questions?

Foreign touch immediately grounded him, his eyes snapping open as he gasped in surprise. How long had he been lost in thought? How had his love gotten so close to him? His hand was on his shoulder. He slid it along his back, unfolding his arm and allowing it to rest on him as well. His touch was delicate, as though afraid of leaving a mark, despite him touching something so much more durable than himself. The affectionate gesture - no. Was it? Or was it merely a means of comforting what could be mistaken for distress? He kept his doubts in mind, not wanting to put an irreparable dent into the connection the two already had. Though, perhaps it would be for the better if he did. Tears welled in his eyes at the very thought of having to walk away, despite knowing it would likely be the best, and perhaps the only, option.

He noticed his love's other, empty hand lifted in front of him, frozen in air, likely pondering his actions as he made them. It was admirable, having such a sense of confidence that he didn't seem to need a plan for his course of action. He merely acted and accepted the outcome regardless, without fear. Yet another curious aspect of this boy that occupied his thoughts. He silently observed, watching him lift his hand out of view, only to grace his fingertips across the side of his face, settling his hand upon his cheek. Surely, surely he could feel how unnaturally warm he'd grown. It was something that had seemed endlessly amusing to his darling, how he was cold blooded and naturally cool to the touch; the heat of the blush had to be tangible. He truly feared how much more strain would be placed on him, the mere shared presence in the room alone enough to almost kill him. The physical contact overwhelmed him so badly he really did feel about to cry.

The gentle contact of his love's hand grew more forceful; still gentle, but with pressure indicative of a voiceless request. He turned his head with the nudge to fully face his beloved, whose face was mere inches from his own. Why was he so intent on such sweet torture? Had he caught on and decided to play before going in for the kill? He committed the sin of eye contact once more. Hazel, he'd been told. That was the color he saw in dreams, of a content present and a blissful future, that color of brilliance. Why wasn't he moving? Why was he allowing this? Why was his darling's hand in motion once more? Keeping his hand on his cheek, he had slid his thumb to the side, lightly gracing his lower lip. An unspoken request. No longer able to bear the weight of his own desire, he conceded to his affections and attempted to assent. He spoke, wide eyed and unblinking, his voice almost pathetically weak, borderline pleading in a strained whisper,

"... please...",

feeling defeated, yet also quite excited. He may have lost the war, but was being offered a consolation prize that would, even though only briefly, take away the painful sting of his own internal, personal loss.

His love inched yet closer and his eyes fluttered shut, as though he couldn't bear looking away for even a moment. He closed his own eyes as well, as if in response, but this time to better perceive instead of closing himself off. He could feel the warmth radiating from the petit boy in front of him, warmer than anything his own body could naturally produce. Basking in sunlight each morning to fully wake; spending the morning next to someone so close to his heart would feel just as holy. Like the delicate sensation of sunlight on the body, he felt the motion of his beloved as his lips graced his own, before he finally settled into the kiss, still subtly caressing his cheek with his hand.

He felt a quick tear streak down his face. Gentle gestures, all of them. When it came to him, they always were. It was as though he was incapable of harm in any capacity; he seemed almost afraid of being unloving or anything less than cheerful. His natural disposition towards brightness was reflected by everyone he interacted with, making others feel welcome and putting them at ease. In that moment, he also felt at ease, in spite of his doubts and insecurity, he felt at ease, melting into the touch of his.. lover? Was it fair to call him that? In the light and warmth of the kissing, it certainly seemed so.

After a period of drawing it out, going back for more and more, he finally broke away, opening his eyes once more to examine him. He opened his own eyes, slowly and with an amount of care, almost as if he were guilty after the act and nervous about what he would see. He looked into the eyes of the boy who stared back at him as though he were the one who'd put the sun in the sky. He softly smiled as he took in the scene, feeling tears begin to pool in his eyes once more. He felt he'd had confirmation that he was being irrational, but needed evidence that was nothing short of absolutely damning before he could fully accept it. He realized he was likely making him uncomfortable by looking him directly in the eyes again, they'd had that conversation before, he knew he shouldn't, it must be so irritating-

"Your eyes are so pretty."

He froze. He froze, finally breaking down and beginning to cry. His partner was well acquainted with his tears, and he knew there wasn't much he could do to stem their flow. Even with that in mind, he still wanted to console and soothe sudden wave of emotion.

"Are you alright? Do you wanna talk about it?"

A sing-song query in a half whisper. He sniffled and looked down at his hands, fidgeting in discomfort. He didn't want to overwhelm or alarm him, so he felt it best to choose his words carefully. But even then, he felt the horrific weight of finality hanging over him.

"Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that you do love me."

Confusion, hurt, and mild surprise. His lover almost seemed to anticipate it, making his heart feel like it was sinking further.

"Elaborate."

He drew a deep breath, sighing in pain and bracing himself for if he began to cry harder. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him. Barely able to speak, he forced broken sentences together, making a pathetic attempt to communicate anything at all before he dissolved into tears.

"Why?"

No response.

"Why me?"

Silence. The weight of every mistake he'd ever made was bearing down on him. Surely it was apparent how disgustingly flawed he was, not suitable-

"Well, this is a new one."

.. What?

"You really think I don't love you?"

He said it almost as though it were a joke.

"We've been together for almost two years now, and that's a choice both of us made. I can't even count how many chances I had to just, get up and walk away."

He cupped his face with both of his hands now; he lifted his own hands and placed them over his. He was crying freely, falling just short of actively sobbing.

"But I never took any of those chances. I want to be with you. You're a very sweet man and. Well it's horrible that you've got the mental conditions you do, but because we have the same kind, you've never missed a beat when it comes to making me feel better. And I wanna be able to do that for you too. You make me so happy and I wanna be able to make you feel the same way."

His head was bowed as he openly wept. He needed damning proof and it was handed to him, wrapped in ribbon and sealed with a kiss. He smiled through his tears out of sheer relief. His joy, his love, lover. The light didn't scorch and burn as he feared, but rather warmed and lifted the fog that had been enveloping him. He lifted his head once more, to look at his sweetheart with a mind unclouded by guilt.

"You don't like eye contact, you kept telling me-"

"I don't mind when you do it."

His eyes widened and his vision was once more blurred with tears. The lack of regret and remorse didn't unclutter his thoughts, and he was left unable to answer. What was there to say? Thank you? I needed to know that, despite already knowing it? My irrationality occasionally makes my life a living hell and I'm grateful for your extended patience? Admittedly, there was one thought that dominated and laid his soul bare on pure impulse-

"I love you."

"I love you too."

His lover slipped his hands out from beneath his own and motioned to encircle him in a hug, a gesture he enthusiastically returned. Resting his head against him, holding him and being held by him, knowing for certain that each step he himself took was perfectly mirrored by the boy in his arms; it was all more than he could ever ask for. He wished he could etch this moment into his memory, to never again doubt his lover or himself so deeply. While he did feel guilty for harboring such needless doubt, his partner would never be upset with him for worrying, and this he felt with certainty. Some of his many chances to leave very well were occasions where he'd been in hysterics over things that later proved to be inconsequential. He'd seen the ugliest and worst of him, yet, at the end of the day, he still chose love. His memories and the words spoken to him were perfectly interlaced, leaving no room for doubt. He was loved, and that's all there was to it.

#self ship #self ship fic #oooOoOOOH there's a tag for that?? and i cant believe im even using it #anyways.. here's me acting out my greatest desire of wanting to kiss this bug man and telling him i love him #hes canonically got bad anxiety and thinks too hard and well. thats what i call relatable content 😞🙌 #he just needs some reassurance and affection; give that a man a hug and a kiss on the cheek fucking STAT #butterfly kisses

[aiviloti]

my 2020 fic writer wrap-up!!

this is going to be incredibly long (a total of 1.1k lmao) so imma put a cut here, but basically thank you for being here all throughout my 2020! i appreciate you all very much <3

fav kind of fic to write:

i love writing about mutual pining slow burn process of getting together but i have NEVER WRITTEN ONE IN MY LIFE so i hope to change that in 2021

in 2020 i discovered??? humour??? so i enjoy writing about that and when people tell me i’ve succeeded in making them laugh it’s all 😳😳😳 for me

hardest fic to write but also most proud of:

to write you a song was a fic i struggled with from all of april to june which is very long?? to me??? considering i usually sit down and write things in one seating. fully fleshed ideas don’t usually take me thaaaaaat long to crunch out, but for some reason i struggled bad with this bc I really didn’t know where i was going w it lol

LA LA LAND gets an honorary mention of it’s own simply because it was 44k, and it took me all of july-september, but it’s something i still am proud of! to show how difficult it was to write/plot here’s the spreadsheet i had to use to keep track of the scenes and the chapters djkgfsjdfkjhgd

Shout out to kiroiimye , sweet , sirius and krypt for keeping my sanity intact

easiest fic to write:

this genshin impact fic: The Land Favoured by the Wind but its because ive been thinking about this idea for more than a month lol so the actual writing and editing took me less than 3 hours

there were several others too, bc ideas then to hook themselves to me then refuse to let go fjshlfgdfsg

fav fic to write:

Most definitely this sakuatsu monstrosity here by the name of Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist lol, I only came up with the idea of Atsumu asking Osamu how to make friends bc I was friendship pining for someone at the time and then proceeded to write the entirety of it in a feverish daze! It’s as of rn my top hit / kudoed / bookmarked fic on ao3 and man, thanks for liking this as much as i did :’D

writing sequence:

i have to write from start to finish lmao i cant move on if the fic isnt chronological? the only exception was la la land bc it was too long and i had help from the spreadsheet so i alr knew where i was going i just had to write it down dfhdsfksfksdfhjg

deleting works:

the only fics i remember deleting are both first chapters of a multichap, bc i dont like having unfinished pieces on ao3, and far less if im not sure if ill finish them/if i dont know where im going w it!

if it’s dark history of shit 15 year old me wrote imma keep it there! it is an archive after all. go on, judge my fics from 5 years ago ahahahaha

best writing advice:

not a general thing and might just apply tome, but i tend to write in very convoluted ways and squish a lot in my sentences, or add to many unnecessary commas, so i received advice recently about being more mindful of the pacing and it’s helped me a lot!

worst writing advice:

none at the top of my head djgfkdsjfh if it’s bs to me i just forget it entirelyyyy

collab:

@actuallyasweetpotato​ (also aforementioned sweet) and i did a thing for bokuaka week!!!! you can find it here:  under my breath and into your scarf

wips:

9 unfinished zine pieces, 3 commissions, 1 exchange piece, about 10 or so other things

fav story of another writer:

favourite things 

manly man falls for manliest man krbk fic!!!

gently, like a winter wind iwaoi birthday fic

sunchaser krbk fic

JUNO atsuhina fic

best review:

dude i cried

and shoutout to tien , sirius for fan art, fan comics, fan animatics of fics ive written, and shoutout to akemiiiii for this song they wrote i am eternaally grateful

worst review:

no negativity today!

prequel/sequel to other people’s fics:

none at the top of my head hm, but if anything probably any of kiro skk stuff 

do i reread my stuff:

yes, but only if they’re old enough for me to go “it’s okay even if i dont like it bc this is old”

published:

hopefully! even though i do take part in zines and i guess they already have been published in a broad sense

fav/least fav chara to write:

no one at the top of my head! it’s instinctive for me to go ahead and think about character motives whenever i come across them, so if i ever write about someone, i usually just put my spin/interpretation of a character in a way that i can comprehend. the pros of this is i can write about many people, and the downside is that these characterisations can come off as out of character to anyone who doesn’t agree w me hehe

deadlines or goals:

if it’s a oneshot that’s under 3k i usually aim to have it done within 24 hours of beginning the fic. even tho i rarely succeed, having that as a goal usually pushes me to get it done faster than i would have if i had no goal altogether! if it’s anything long i aim for 1k a day, tho rn all my deadlines are zine deadlines and on top of that there’s uni, so to say im not stressing about writing would be a lie LOL

fav writers: (am too shy to tag but i swear these people are literal gods)

chonideno (mag): tumblr | twitter | ao3

batman (teesta): twitter | ao3

maplefudge (raei): tumblr | twitter | ao3

trope never written, would like to try:

aforementioned SLOWBURN MUTUAL PINING ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING GETTING TOGETHER!!!

but also royalty au

trope you will never write:

haha loads

how long have you been a writer:

began writing around may of 2014!! it was a horrible piece but im glad i started somewhere

influences:

chonideno/mag is one! maggie stiefvater who wrote the raven boys is also one, among many others

hardest part of writing: 

writing action? writing things that are happening right now, describing people talking, eating

easiest part of writing:

descriptions of people, places, feelings. internal monologues, the like

best part of writing:

sharing how i perceive the world w other people, and discovering other people agree

wip sneak peek:

cw: hanahaki, falling out of love

this was written in a friend’s dms lmao this is why i sound like this

something unique i bring to all my stories

i had a revelation the other day after talking to all my friends and realised i have really pretentious titles

IF YOU’RE HERE

did you know the wc of this thing is 1k words? idk why you stuck through all of that but thank you. i’ll keep writing in 2021, and all the years after that, and i hope i’ll find you doing things you love too :)

#liv rambles #sorry i am incapable of shutting the fuck up :relieved: #i will continue to not shut the fuck up in 2021 see yall there

[speuradair]

hi rae, since you've answered asks before about writing characters you find comforting dealing with similar situations to you, let me ask: how would you use writing to channel rage? i have extreme anger (to the point where the only thing that controls me is to take heavy sedatives and lock myself in a room and force myself into sleeping, so i don't endanger myself/others and end up in the psychiatric unit). when i wake up i feel numb, but still too unstable to take myself out of isolation. (1/2)

"i relate to characters with anger, especially if their outbursts can be interpreted as a response from trauma. but i don't exactly know how to work with that? idk if i want to write them in scenarios happier than my current situation so i see them get a happy ending, or if i could write something with my own experiences. sorry i'm just awful at coping, plus my head is hella woozy from having more pills than food today lmao whoops. anyway sending good vibes your way, you seem so nice. (2/2, end.)"

First, I want to say that I am so honored that you feel comfortable telling me about something so personal! You don't have to apologize at all, I'm glad that I can be someone you want to reach out to for advice like this 🖤

I relate to this more than you know, honestly. In my personal experience, I've found that the most helpful way of writing to deal with something is to write about it in its entirety. It's nice to write about characters having a happy ending (that's most of what I post), and it can help a bit to vent by writing an angsty scene. What helps me the most, though, is when I write through the issue, if that makes sense?

I'm not exactly sure how to put it into words, but let me try to explain lol

For example, the biggest issue I cope with through writing is my assa*lt trauma. I do write comfort scenes revolving around that and unrelated, AU happy endings, but what helps me the most is when I address both the traumatic event and the comfort/happy ending. For it to really feel meaningful to me, that happy ending has to come in spite of that traumatic event. That was it gives me a sense that I, too, can be okay even though I've been through something terrible. Does that make sense? I'm not always the best at explaining things, but I hope it does

So I think my writing advice would be to write the characters you relate to going through something you've experienced and getting their happy ending. Because while may have experienced something traumatic, you still deserve your happy ending

Also, I want to say that I'm really proud of you for seeking a healthy coping mechanism. I know first hand how horrible it feels to deal with your struggles alone because you're afraid of what might happen if you admit what you're struggling with or if you give into what you're struggling with. It's terrible, and no one deserves to go through that. I'm so glad that you felt safe reaching out to me. I hope that writing is able to help you, and I hope that things can get better and easier for you very soon. Venting through writing might not be able to fix everything you struggle with, but it can definitely be a huge help!

It's also healthier than having to sedate yourself like that, you know? That sounds really scary for you. I hope that you can find a better solution soon

(I hope that doesn't sound like I'm judging you, I promise I'm not! That just can't be comfortable for you, you know?)

Make sure you eat something, okay? Drink something hydrating, too. Take care of yourself as much as possible.

Stay safe, anon 🖤

#ily #rae answers #anon #meds cw #vent cw #assault mention

[mndalorians]

Which of your fics... tag game

Thank you to @agirllovespancakes and @oloreaa for tagging me!

Which fic did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

Probably The dreadful need in the devotee that made him turn around. I spent a lot of time on it and thought it was pretty decent (plus the Hozier lyric title!!) but maybe its length and heavy angst turned people away? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Got a better reaction than you expected?

It’s between Kiss it better and Heavenly bodies. The love for Kiss it better was so sudden after I posted it and Heavenly bodies is by far my most popular fic for some reason. I wouldn’t consider it my best work.

Is your funniest?

I’ve never written anything that was meant to be funny in its entirety so I think the answer to this one is Last a little longer (stay a little while) purely for the ‘to-marrow’ joke.

Is your darkest/angstiest?

The dreadful need... by far. There’s 1k of fluff at the beginning then it’s nothing but angst for the remaining 8k.

Is your absolute favourite?

Your breath reclaiming mine is my baby and I love it so much. It took me about a month to write but I feel like I achieved what I set out to do with it (with the shifting emotions and the imagery) and now I’m soft just thinking about it again 🥺

Is your least favourite?

As long as you’re next to me. I don’t think I’ve looked at it again since I posted it. It was what I needed/wanted when I wrote it but the concept and execution definitely could have been better.

Was the easiest to write?

Kisses are the sweetest of touches took about 3 hours from conception to publishing (which is pretty fast for me). The snapshot format at the start helped as well because it meant I didn’t need to link up scenes 😅

Was the hardest to write?

The dreadful need... for sure. The word document clocks the total editing time as around 100 hours (which was spread over 2 and a bit months). I was really determined to make it good and I was such a perfectionist over it.

Has your favourite line/exchange/paragraph?

Not to toot my own horn but there’s quite a few bits I love/am really happy with scattered across my fics, but I think one of the sweetest comes from Kisses are the sweetest of touches:

‘What?’ Din asked, lethargy roughening his voice, but in a pleasing way, like the scratch of a lover’s stubble against your skin.

You squeezed his hand as you replied. ‘It’s a kiss.’ The press of skin against skin, the love that was translated through it, the warmth that radiated throughout your body from that small piece of contact, was that not what a kiss was?

‘We’re holding hands.’

‘It’s a kiss,’ you insisted, squeezing again. ‘Mwah.’

Have you re-read the most?

Again, Kisses are the sweetest of touches. It’s short ‘n’ sweet and pretty cute (if I do say so myself).

Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

For Din I’d say Your breath reclaiming mine, for Poe either Kiss it better or Last a little longer (stay a little while). And there’s not exactly any choice when it comes to Ezra lmao

Are you most proud of?

That really depends. I’m proud of I walked with you once upon a dream because it was the first fic I ever finished, even if I feel like some parts were rushed. I’m proud of The dreadful need... because I wrote something of that length (!!!!). ... ok I feel like I’m proud of most of them for one reason or another but writing them all has brought me such joy since May and I’m a softie 🥺

No pressure tags (or if you’ve already done it and I missed it I’m sorry): @blacksquadron-rougetwo @mandolovian @teaofpeach @ezrasarm

#tag game #hoo boy this one's a doozy #but i like talking about my fics 🤷🏻‍♀️ sue me

[space--butterflies]

this might be a lot but: 7, 8, 12, 13, 15, 20, 23, 28, 31, 35, 37, and 40 for beyond coronas walls. Sorry if this is too much! -💙

Woo wee let’s do this. Gonna put it under cut in case it gets long!!

7.Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

listen, I am... Not smart... and Do not know exactly what prose is so I have no idea if I’ve ever written any or not.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I’m gonna be real honest with you Blue, nothing's really coming to mind right now that I haven’t talked about already. (the exchange between Eugene and Cass in the CR rewrite)

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Ummmm not really? At least not that I can think of right now

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Hands down the best advice I’ve ever come across is to write what you want to read and not what others want to read.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

@ Disney hire me to rewrite the entirety of TTS it may not be good but it’ll be fun

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Pretty much whenever I have free time and the energy to write haha

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Okay I know I like, just finished it a few months ago but I would revise Beyond Corona’s Walls. I feel like I’ve grown as a writer since I started and I feel like I can do better, especially with the earlier chapters.

And funnily enough, I am doing this with this Miraculous Ladybug AU a friend and I started a while ago. We have five fics for it now but I’ve set to rewriting it for when I’m having serious burnout with PEEV.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@glacecakes once again because I just.... i love them so much. We are Friends and I am biased. And I cannot think of two more.... No thoughts only Baby....

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Honestly, it depends on the fic I’m writing. Most of my stuff is canon divergent, so I’m always taking liberties. But when I do canon compliant fics I do my best to stay true to the source.

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

;)

37. Talk about your current wips.

Oh dear. Um... there’s PEEV... I’m one paragraph into my Beetlejuice AU... Uh... I got this angsty Daikeru(Daisuke and Takeru from Digimon) fic I’m working on and off on... OC centric wips for fun and friends only, um, the Miraculous Ladybug AU... and...Yeah that’s all I got right now. I’d go into detail but we’d be here all night because I tend to ramble a lot lmao.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Varian’s taken the Moonstone in an attempt to keep Rapunzel from meeting her fate. Unable to control its power, he’s run off to keep everyone safe while he struggles to gain control of the rocks, leaving Rapunzel and everyone to go back home and work something out to help him, and for Cassandra to plot with ZT to take back her destiny and retrieve the Moonstone for herself.

so like... Frozen.. but with Rocks... and less “Hell yeah I’m free out here :)” and more “Oh god I could kill people so i’m going to stay away from them”

#dreadful ramblings #ask games #hahaha thanks for asking #Anonymous

[georgefancys]

Endeavour Fandom Meme

alright @bryndeavour tagged me in this literally five seconds ago but i wanna gush about endeavour immediately so

- Top 5 Episodes

Trove, Neverland, Prey, Canticle, Confection. Changes all the time tho (Icarus is not included bc while i really like it, it makes me genuinely depressed when i watch it. rip me)

- Seasons in Order of Preference

S2, S1, S5, S6, S4, S7, S3. Right so: season 2 interests me the most thematically and with the plot arc. Season 1 is just rlly consistently good even though it hasn’t produced any of my top 5, and same with season 5 - i think both of them are just consistently good without any standouts for me? Season 6 i think has a really cool vibe. season 4 is very good except i don’t particularly love Game - i would have said i disliked Harvest too, but I watched it recently for only like the second time and LOVED it so idk what was going on there. Season 7 i honestly think is really good, though i found a lot of problems with it in retrospect (treatment of women and the resolution of Ludo and Violetta’s storyline). Season 3 is WEIRD, because i LOVE Prey and quite like Arcadia. Now im gonna be controversial here: i’m not the BIGGEST fan of Ride. I didn’t like it the first time i watched it, then, since then every time i watched it i liked it more until the last time i watched it when i went back to not particularly loving it...? And i straight up don’t like Coda lmao, after the previous episode had a literal tiger, a shittily-executed bank heist that lasts for half the episode doesn’t really do it for me?

- Favourite Scene(s)

Tiger scene. Sorry to be cliche but tiger scene. The scene where Morse tries to get with Rosalind in Overture. Morse’s father’s death in Home. The ‘you’re not yellow, you’re just blue’ scene in Trove. The scene between Morse in Nick Wilding in Canticle. The LSD scene in Canticle (it’s just so fucking funny). The water-throwing scene in Muse. The fight scene in Passenger. The minefield scene in Colours. The ‘have you eaten?’ ‘of course’ ‘today?’ scene in Quartet. Morse and Isla’s kiss in Confection. The entire finale of Deguello. The scene between Morse and Ludo in Morse’s house in Oracle. Where Strange gets stabbed in Zenana. And my favourite scene in the whole show: the scene where Morse and Thursday are talking to Benny and Clyde in Neverland. Chills the whole time.

- Favourite Musical Piece or Moment

Miserere Mei, Deus in... i think Pylon - i love that piece of music. Jennifer Sometimes in Canticle is a bop. Hard Times from Lewis being in Passenger is a really nice callback. Dies Irae in Harvest is fun. Also, if it counts, i love All Along the Watchtower in the season 5 trailer (and i think it might be in Colours too?)

-  Favourite Cinematography/Imagery (season, ep, whatever)

The entirety of Harvest and Canticle. Arcadia is cool - the lovely typical supermarket, House Beautiful, it all fits with the theme of the episode.

- Favourite Ensemble Character that isn’t Morse

oooooof... probably Shirley and George?? Strange is close, esp. in season 7.

- Favourite One episode Character

Eve Thorne. i would die for her. I like Anthony Donn but honestly he doesn’t have much to do in Ride and half of my love for him is cos of his actor, Samuel Barnett. Also Ellie Bagshot in Quartet - for the Foyle’s War crossover.

- Favourite Morse Look (season, ep, whatever)

The red sweater thing in season 3. The weird boiler suit in season 7. The schoolmaster look in Icarus.

- Biggest disappointment

It’s horrendously un-diverse. They should have got another main female character after Shirley left. And it doesn’t treat the women it has amazingly, either - especially Violetta in Zenana. And it wouldn’t hurt to have some more gay rep - a fair few of the episodes have a gay side character, usually one where you only find their sexuality out in one scene late-on. But there should be a gay main character. Grantchester managed it in its second episode! Even Lewis gave us extremely good fodder for bisexual Hathaway. I really thought Ludo would deliver - i was a fool in man’s shoes. Also, Coda - nothing could top the tiger for me, seemingly.

- Provide some Spicy Takes (on canon, fandom, anything)

MORSESTACHE RIGHTS

I’ve already said it twice but, my dislike for Coda. Also, i know this Riles Up some people (cough cough) but there needs to be more canon gay rep, like there just needs to be.

ALSO - i’ll say this now - i love this fandom because there is never ever drama, and i want it to stay that way, but some of us just wanna watch Endeavour for the vibes, some of us wanna enjoy the wider universe, and both are okay and good! But what we shouldnt do is push people in the former group to watch IM or whatever and it can come across slightly as elitism. But enough of that.

- Free Space! (make up something - anything - you want to share or say)

I write fic - https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexpls/works you may be interested in a Morse/Max or a Morse/Anthony Donn, and one of these days i will get that bi Morse casefic and that gay Fancy fic done.

I ship Fancy/Trewlove to death, but i also love them both being gay and being each others’ wingmen.

Tagging: @petersjakes @fitzrove @jasmiinitee @lieutenantmalcolmreed(ik youve been tagged by ange but i love yall) @endeavourous @endeavourmors @melbows

#tag games #endeavour

[aqvarius]

If the MC from rmd was more mature and if rmd wasn't a love choice story with less episodes, would it be better? Or is there more stuff that needs changes?

yeah i do think so! so i think they tried to emulate hlitf (and mpd maybe? i’m not familiar enough with mpd to be able to say). in thinking about rmd and its future (in response to another ask which i’m still working on bc i lost my whole essay the other day lmao), i kind of theorise that they wanted rmd to be the next Big Title with a full lineup of “ensemble cast” type characters, instructor-student type dynamic (which can then ‘progress’ to colleague level), lots of lore/backstory, potential for lots of substories. the backlash against love choice has been strong in both japanese and international fandom as far as i know so i really think that was a big hindrance in terms of drumming up success for a title that is set up to have a LOT of content. hlitf has always had a leg up bc from the start, it rode off the success of msb and the demand for more public safety content, which is why right from the very start, they tried to push crossovers with hlitf/mpd. the very first rmd substory is a takado/kirisawa crossover, and then they had that extremely gratuitous cameo in ayumu (aka voltage’s king) season 3 in both the ms AND his pov. they keep pushing these crossovers, like with the vip room event which just came to love 365. 

ANYWAY, the more i think about it, the more i’m convinced that they’re trying to emulate some of the successes of hlitf, so i find it a pretty useful point of comparison to see the things which i find are lacking in rmd. 

so yes i definitely think that i wish the rmd mc was more vulnerable and maybe more romantically inclined and just generally more emotionally mature? i’ve said i wish she made more mistakes but i when i think about it more, i do see some parallels between dr mc and hlitf season 1 mc in that they go into a new learning environment with a certain set of values that get challenged. so i am willing to acquiesce on that point i’ve made before about her errors, since i do think that her values and the choices she makes because of those values get called into question (coming off the back of reading matsunaga’s routes, i do see this happen). also i’ve said this before but just to reiterate, i do also think that there’s a tone shift in the translation that to my perception (re-?)characterises the mc as being blase which i feel comes at the expense of genuine emotional connection between the reader and the heroine. however, i do also think that this tone perception thing is very subjective bc it reads as being quite american to me which is something that (1) is foreign to me as a non-american and (2) gives me a feeling of incongruence bc i’m very aware that this is japanese media. either way, i think in a long form title, there is potential for her to grow/develop when it comes to emotional maturity and romantic development, which leads me to my second point...

ANYWAY, the biggest (writing) issue that i find with rmd is its lack of romance FOR SUCH A LONG ROUTE. generally the main point of otome games is the romantic aspect, which i find to be super lacking in a game where romance is literally right there in the title. so one of my favourite things about hlitf is that we have the whole “meeting him” route before the “falling in love” route, and that generally each season is split into two halves in which the first half feels complete as a route on its own, but its strengths in setting up plot and character/relationship development become highlighted in the second half of the season (i know i talk about this a lot but kaga’s season 2 is the PRIME example of this). hlitf’s “meeting him” stories all tend to have abysmal ratings (which.... i pretend i do not see it) because of people not getting that they’re just introducing the characters and setting up their dynamic first. because of this, we essentially get a (relatively) slow burn romance that takes 20 chapters (or in tsugaru’s case.... 60 chapters lmao, or we’ll say 30 bc he has shorter chapters) to get to fruition. 

so romance md has 30 chapters to get the job done, which SHOULD mean that there should be better pacing to get to the relationship stage, right? rmd does a similar thing to hlitf’s split routes where there’s generally one “introductory” case which introduces a moral dilemma, which then ties into a second case. in hlitf, the introductory case in ms1 serves to introduce us to the love interest’s personality and way of working as well as helping the two characters become closer by spending more time together. then it links to ms2 in that it tends to lead into wider criminal activity that may or may not be related to the love interest’s primary negative characteristics, and most importantly, the mc is instrumental in helping the LI overcome that issue (e.g. goto’s paranoia about losing colleagues/partners, kaga’s problems with internal corruption within the NPA, soma’s trust issues and devaluing of those around him, ayumu’s unrequited love). so let’s say that a full rmd route is equivalent to ms1+ms2 in hlitf. 

rmd does a very similar thing in terms of plot structure with the main difference being that the medical cases tend to align explicitly with the LIs’ traumatic pasts, where in hlitf it’s a bit more indirect (only goto and soma have had their primary vengeance arcs complete). so why does the pacing feel so off? i think that the reason for that is that there is just so little energy put into romantic development. one thing to note is that the mc has already fallen by episode 10 of ms1, i.e. halfway through the ‘full’ route. the only rmd route that i’ve read where the mc has already caught feelings at that point is hosho’s route, where she realises in chapter 15 (which is why i did write in my review that i thought the pacing was better). secondly, it’s a LOT harder in rmd to see not just the mc’s feelings developing, but the progression of the love interest’s feelings. imo this is because they basically treat her uhhhh the same from start to finish??? she runs her mouth from day one and even during very intimate conversations, so i feel like there is no sense of increasing emotional closeness - it’s more just that we (the third person reader) get to know more about the love interest’s past and i guess we see them becoming friends? rather than seeing two people growing closer with romantic attraction. contrast this with hlitf, where they were never ‘friendly’ and the relationship that starts blossoming between them was always overtly special and romantic relationship and the way in which the love interest softens for his mc is already evident by the end of ms1. this means that we get a whole 10 more chapters for this development to really take its time to get to where it needs to go. this also means that we actually see obvious burgeoning attraction (or special treatment) before we get to any sort of climax confession scene. i feel like the mc’s lack of manners/impertinence familiarity with the LIs from the very start means that it’s a lot harder to see the dynamic between the two of them changing. just compare the way that dr mc and takado talk to each other in ch1 and ch29 vs the way that hlitf mc and kaga talk to each other in ms1 ch 1 and ms2 ch 8. i would argue that the action scene in the collapsing building in takado’s chapter TWENTY SEVEN is about equivalent to the action climax scenes that happen in hlitf ms1 chapter NINE.

(oh and i also think that the whole talking about how physically beautifully they are to their faces from day one also hinders the sense of growing mutual attraction.)

another GIANT hindrance is that a lot of the key bonding moments are actually paywalled behind heart scenes so you really don’t get anything if you don’t dish out THANKS LOVE CHOICE. 

anyway, long story short is that romance md spends waaay too long and focusses way too much on plot stuff and character backstory (if you can even unlock it lmao) and leaves maybe 5% at the very end for romance rather than having a romantic element integrated throughout the story. if i were to try and compare it to hlitf again, i would say that to me, rmd routes feel like if hlitf ms1 was as it is but then there was one extra chapter at the end where it just goes straight to confession without the entirety of ms2′s development. but also like at least 2x longer. like imagine if we had ms1 and ms2 but there was no romantic engagement or indication of any romantic interest from the love interest in 20 whole chapters except you suddenly get one confession but only in the happy ending. actually matsunaga’s doctor ending literally FLOORED me like ???????? it’s literally like imagine if you only got through namba’s ms1 and half of ms2 (to that scene outside the dorms when you know what happens) and THAT’S WHERE IT ENDS LASKDJFLKSJ they finally had some early emotional awareness on the part of the mc and then they had to go and make it ENTIRELY one sided with not just zero but actually NEGATIVE romantic intention from the love interest i’m screaming 

tl;dr: my biggest problem with romance md is that it’s literally SO LONG but there’s no romance 

#wow i promise i did not intend to write this much but it all just came out #this took me a whole day to write too lmao thanks adhd!!!! #romance md: always on call #rmadoc #romance md #her love in the force #hlitf #voltage inc #otome romance #love choice #love 365 #meta #Anonymous #snow answers