#I may just be over venting cause I’m tired

[thewomanwhoreads]

It’s been two hours and I’m already ready to go back to Iceland lol

#coming back home has made me remember why I don’t like it here #the house is just…barren #twenty minutes in and my mom I’d already talking about all the things I can do for her #mind you after I’ve been traveling since 6am #low-key didn’t even wanna come and feel like I’m always the one that has to put in the effort so my mom doesn’t implode #but meanwhile my other sister just swans of to my eldest like… #I may just be over venting cause I’m tired #but yeah just sucks #on a more superficial/lighthearted note #European showers are so much better! #also you’re right we do drive on the wrong side #i’ve gotten so used to left now 😭

[7ndipity]

Safe Space

Seokjin x Reader

Summary: Just a lil blurb about comforting Jin after a tough day.

Warnings: slight angst, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to @casuallyimagining and @feminympho for requesting this, as well as the lovely anon who sent this headcanon! This is a lil eh, but I tried.🤷 Hopefully you’ll still like it!💜

Masterlist

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Jin let his bag hit the floor with a thud as he entered the house, heading straight into the living room and falling face down on the sofa with a thump, letting out a muffled groan of frustration.

“Bad day?”

His head popped up, not realizing you were home yet.

You stood in the kitchen doorway, cup of tea in hand, eyeing his tired form with cautious concern.

“It’s nothing.” He said, slumping back against the cushions.

“Are you sure?” You asked, coming to sit next to him, rubbing his back soothingly.

“No.” He said after a moment, looking up at you. “But I don’t want to drag your mood down just cause I’m frustrated.”

You frowned at him. “Do you feel dragged down when I vent about my problems?”

“No.” He said in a small voice.

“So why would it be any different for you?” You smiled at him encouragingly. “I know it’s difficult sometimes, but whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

He hesitated, sitting up slowly before beginning to speak.

“It’s just…” He sighed. “The company made a big deal about rescheduling rehearsals for today, even though we were exhausted from traveling the past few weeks, and when we got there, the choreographer was late and kept getting annoyed at everyone for messing up. And then…”

Once he started, it was like he couldn’t stop, releasing all the day's frustrations, all of the shitty feelings he had been bottling up for the past days and weeks in order to just get through.

You didn’t say anything, just humming along as he spoke, dragging your fingers across his back in the same soothing pattern you did to help him fall asleep.

By the time he had finished, his voice had crept up into a yell, leaving the room starkly quiet in contrast as he finally fell silent, the hands that had been slowly clenching into fists in his lap finally relaxing again.

“Sorry.” He said, softening his tone. His throat was dry, causing his voice to crack slightly, but his chest felt five pounds lighter, able to breathe properly again.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” You said calmly, passing him your forgotten cup of tea. “You need to let it out sometimes.”

You had known something had been bothering him, he had been quieter than usual, his smile slightly forced, not fully reaching his eyes. And although it hurt you to see him pull back as he had, you had tried to be patient and wait for him to talk about it when he was ready, not wanting to push him.

When he lifted his eyes to meet yours, you were smiling at him softly, but not pityingly.

“Feel any better?” You asked gently.

“A bit,” He let out a weak chuckle. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for letting me in.” You said, brushing your thumbs over his cheeks. He hadn’t even realized a few stray tears had slipped out till you were gently wiping them away.

You smiled, kissing his cheek. “How about you go change into something comfy and let me look after you?“

“Okay.” He replied, but he didn’t move just yet.

Staring down at you, he was suddenly struck by how lucky he felt to have you. You never judged him or tried to fix his problems for him, you just let him be. He never had to pretend with you, he could let anything out, good or bad, without fear of rejection. Although you may have only been together for a comparatively short time, you had become his safe space.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” You asked, shifting awkwardly under his gaze.

He shook his head.

“I just love you.” He said simply, earning a flustered grin from you.

“I love you too.” You said quietly.

He pulled you close, resting his head on top of yours, taking in the scent of your shampoo as he let out a deep breath, feeling peaceful for the first time in days.

His problems might still be there, but they didn’t seem as bad right now, knowing that he had you to lean on and to keep him safe.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters

#seokjin scenarios #seokjin blurbs #seokjin drabble #seokjin x reader #seokjin x y/n #seokjin fluff #seokjin one shot #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts one shot #bts requests #7ndipity

[wutheringcaterpillar]

Remember That Night? Chapter 1/4

Summary: What happens when your boss whom your head over heels for calls you in the middle of the night to go for a drive and things go further than they should? Will they make it work or will it end in tragic heartache?

warnings: boss/employee relationship, nostalgia, deep descriptions of heartbreak

italicized is past tense.

The case files spread out across your desk were all mixing together in a blur. It felt like there was no end to it and this was the one you thought was gonna stick with you. The rest of the team had left except for Aaron. He was sitting in his own office looking for anything that could stand out exactly like you were.

Glancing up you saw his eyes scanning the papers intently with one hand resting on his forehead. In your heart you missed the bond that you shared with him deeply but the chances of anything happening again were close to zero and it made your heart ache to think that he’d never be yours.

A few months after Haley passed Aaron was having a night just like the one you’re having now and he needed closure. The night still replayed in your mind at moments like this but you’re okay now. It had been five months since the two of you cut whatever connection you had romantically off. You’ve moved on and entered the dating world, it was for the better. Closing the case files you began to put them back in order and erase the case from your mind for the night. Right when you were about ready to get up and head out Aaron approached you at your desk and sat down in a chair across from you. “It’s late. Every one else went home hours ago. Everything okay?” His intent gaze stared deep into your eyes but you didn’t allow yourself to get lost in him. “Yeah, I just don’t understand how some people can be so cruel. I think this is the one that’s gonna stick with me and it worries me but, I know I need to get home and get rest.”

“Y/N, you know I’m always here if you need to talk or vent.” You nodded in response. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, you couldn’t help but see him twiddle his thumbs a bit, it looked as if he was in deep thought, his eyebrows were knitted together like they always were when he was like this. “What about you? Are you okay? Everything going well with Beth?” He stopped all movement and his eyes connected with yours once more. “Can I ask you something?”

“I’m an open book ask away.” He shifted in his chair, leaning forward a bit. “Do you remember that night? The first night?” All of a sudden the memory came flooding back like hurricane.

The night was beautiful out, a clear sky, twinkling stars, streetlights lit up the roads just outside of your apartment. The vacation you were currently on from work was much needed, thoughts of Aaron filled your mind at times. You couldn’t imagine how he was coping, being a single father, going to sleep in a bed without his wife. It had to have been difficult, you knew the crush you had on him was silly and that it would never go anywhere but you couldn’t help the feelings you had for this man. 

Settling down onto your couch you turned on the television to catch up on one of your favorite shows, avoiding the news at all costs you wanted all crime to be out of your head for your entire week off. Cracking open a beer you grabbed a blanket and settled it over your legs. About halfway into the episode your phone rang causing a groan to escape your lips but your heart fluttered when you saw it was Aaron. What could he possibly need it was 2:30 am. “Hello?” 

“Hi. I’m sorry to be calling you this late I hope I didn’t wake you.” When he spoke he sounded like he hadn’t slept yet and that he may have been having a bad night. “No, you’re okay. Is everything alright?” 

“Y/N I just really need someone right now. I hate to bother you on your vacation but would you like to go for a drive? If you’re too tired I understand.” You couldn’t help but respond as quickly as you did, this is the moment you had been waiting for. “I’m all for it. What’d you have in mind?” You couldn’t see it but Aaron was smiling on the other end of the phone. “I know a place.” 

For the fifteen minutes it took him to get there you didn’t want to get too dressed up, it was the middle of the night after all. You left your sweats on but changed into a snug fitted shirt before brushing your hair and throwing on a pair of tennis shoes. Water was splattered on the bathroom sink from you washing your face and brushing your teeth to disintegrate the alcohol smell on your tongue. When you heard the knock on your door your heart skipped a beat. Glancing at yourself one last time in the mirror a big bright excited smile took over your flushed face. Your mind guessing where he would take you as you walked to answer the door. 

On the other side Aaron stood there also dressed in sweats and a t-shirt he looked absolutely breathtaking even out of his suit. His hair was slightly disheveled and when he spoke “Hello” to you the small dimples next to his lips formed from a smile. Aside from that you were completely locked in and lost in his eyes, he was really here. “So are you ready?” You nodded in response and he moved out of your way to excuse you into the hallway. “So where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise.” 

Once outside he opened your car door for you like a gentleman before getting into his own side. The way his hands curled over the steering wheel and his veins popped out sent so many thoughts swirling in your mind. The car ride was filled with endless conversation, mostly him asking about your vacation and you asking how the team has been doing but neither of you talked about any cases past or present. It was nice. 

He maneuvered his car into a parking lot, there was a hill toward the top of it, looking like it would be overlooking something. 

Once out of the car the wind blew slightly causing leaves to flutter around, he noticed you cross your arms together. “Are you cold? I have an extra jacket in the car if you’d like it. I keep it in there for Jack because he tends to cold with how much I use the air conditioning.” A small chuckle escaped your lips. “No, it’s okay, it feels-“ Before you could finish your sentence he was opening the back car door and pulling out one of his gray zip up hoodies. “I insist.” As if you weren’t trying to hide your blushing cheeks enough they surely came out now. 

Putting on the jacket, Aaron stood by your side as you walked up the small hill. When you reached the top there was a single bench looking over a sea of water. “I know it’s not much but this is where I tend to go when I need to think.” 

“Aaron this is- this is beautiful.” 

“I’m glad you agree.” He patted the bench, motioning for you to sit with him. The both of you sat in silence for a few moments just listening to the waves hitting the shoreline and the breeze causing leaves to fall from the tree and dance in the surrounding area. Small clouds were starting to roll over in the sky. In that moment you felt Aaron’s arm slide behind you, pulling you in a bit closer to him, his hand resting on your upper arm. As close as you were, you wanted to be closer, wanted to be snuggling with him but you didn’t put any pressure on it and just took the moment in to yourself, thankful that this was happening. “So is Jack with Jess tonight?” Aaron nodded in response. 

“He is. Had the house to myself was feeling lonely and even though it’s been a month since Haley has passed it still manages to bother me at times like tonight. I’m really glad you came with me.” He looked over his shoulder at you taking in your beauty and you did the same taking in how handsome he was. “Me too.” The two of you gazed into each others eyes searching for someone to make a move, you both leaned in simultaneously and your lips smashed together in an electrifying kiss. His lips were extremely soft, tasting of mint and had taken your breath away. Neither of your eyes had opened during the kiss. His free hand rested gently against your cheek deepening the kiss. At that moment little sprinkles landed on the top of your head but neither of you had a care in the world. When the kiss finally broke a part of the strong feelings you had for him came out. “Would you maybe want to stay with me tonight at my place?” His eyes glistened in the rain. “I’d love nothing more.” 

The night consisted of gentle spontaneous love making and you fell asleep in the arms of the man you had loved for so long more than anything, it was perfect.

He knew he had hit a nerve with your blank expression, but some part of him was just curious if you ever thought about it? “I um- I do but I try not to. No offense. It’s just I finally have moved past us and the future is looking great for me but Aaron you know I still-“

“I know, you don’t have to say it.” He spoke so gently and his face was of pure care and solidity. “I still do too.” His hand rested on yours for a few seconds as you both just sat in each others company. There was something about him that still had a hold of you, a place in your heart and just when you think you could replace it you have a moment like this with him. Every thing in you wanted to quit on the spot just so you could have him but you knew in your head that things don’t work out like that. He got up from his chair and offered to follow you home to ensure you make it there safely but you politely declined. That was when your phone rang. “Hi- Yeah I’m headed home I’ll be there in a bit- I miss you too- Okay- Bye.” Aaron wanted to ask who it was but he had no right to and he knew that so he let it be. “I will see you in the morning then?” You nodded before bidding each other goodbye once again. It shouldn’t but it felt like the first time, like you lost him again.

Arriving home you threw your keys onto the table and kissed your boyfriend whom was staying for the night he noticed the pained look on your face, the sadness that filled it. “Every thing okay babe? What’s wrong?” He took you into his arms as you cried, letting every thing out. You couldn’t love someone else the way you loved Aaron, this unexplainable connection you shared with him killed you after moments the two of you shared like tonight. If he had never brought up that night you would have been fine, but he did and here you were crying over Aaron Hotchner once again, just as you were getting back to life without him in it. You ended up telling your boyfriend it was the case you were on which wasn’t fair by any means, but as he drifted into sleep next to you, you couldn’t help but look at him and get upset. He wasn’t Aaron. No one was. That was when the night he broke it off entered into your mind.

“Y/N I’m your boss and we’re getting too close. I think it’s better that this is the last night we share together in this way. We need to stop.” It felt like a tidal of waves crashed into your heart and completely shattered it. All happiness in your face disappeared. This was the last thing you expected to happen tonight. 

You sulked in your seat, tracing your thumb around the salted rim of your glass. His eyes searched your facial expression, being a profiler you knew he was reading you like a book. His hand moved a strand of hair from your face, placing it behind your ear. “Please don’t be upset. We’ll still be close, and see each other at work but I think that’s where it should stay.” A scoff escaped your lips, shaking your head you grabbed your glass and finished off the remaining alcohol before aggressively setting it back down. 

“Yeah, well not as close as I’d like.” 

“ Y/N-“ 

“Just don’t.” When you stood up out of your chair you fell back a bit and the grip of Aaron’s hand was on your arm gently right away. “At least let me drive you home you can’t drive like this.” Putting your hand up you dismissed him completely. “I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning, boss.” Walking out of the restaurant the rain poured as if it knew how you were feeling. As soon as you were out the door away from him the tears flooded out as you walked to your car. How could he do this to you? All the dates, the phone calls, the photos, they were completely meaningless. You read him all wrong, this situation all wrong. You were head over heels in love with Aaron and you thought he felt the same. Reaching into your purse you retrieved the first keychain he had bought you, and threw it into a bush by the entrance. You wanted anything and everything that reminded you of him gone. The car ride home felt like it was never ending. The rain made it difficult to see and the only songs on the radio were depressing love songs about heartache. Walking into your apartment you tossed your keys onto the table before turning on the lights and setting the alarm. 

Making your way into your bedroom you glanced around the room, you thought to yourself how your never going to be graced with Aaron’s face or presence in it ever again. Falling into your bed you clutched your pillow tightly tears flowing out like an ocean while his side of the bed lay empty. A hole in your heart is all that you felt, you couldn’t even imagine having to see him at work tomorrow. You could just see yourself excusing yourself to go cry somewhere. You really thought he could be the one but all hope of that had vanished. The next morning your tear stained face made you look a mess your clothes were disheveled, hair a mess but you couldn’t find a care in the world. You wanted to walk into work and make him see what he did to you. The buzzing of your phone dragged you out of your thoughts. A voicemail notification from Aaron popped up. As much as your head told you not to listen to it your heart spoke differently. “Hi, I wanted to make sure you got home safely and that you’re doing okay. If you could let me know that’d be great but if not I’ll see you at work. I truly hope there’s no hard feelings Y/N. Well I guess that’s all goodbye.” How dare he, no hard feelings? Does he not realize how much he broke you? You wanted to throw your phone and cry again but you decided to keep yourself composed and get ready for work and head in. Of course Aaron ended up calling in because Jack got sick, and he did text you about it but you reluctantly responded with, “I don’t think we should text or call anymore about anything personal. Strictly work.” He hadn’t responded for hours and the day completely dragged out you couldn’t focus and the team took notice especially Emily and Spencer because they were the closest to you but you didn’t tell them anything about your situation just that you were having a bad day. They were understanding and said they would be there whenever you’re ready to talk about it. When you went home for the night digging for clean clothes you found one of Aaron’s work shirts in your hamper, it must have been the only one not washed because it still smelled exactly like him. As much as your head told you not to put it on your heart spoke differently. As soon as you slipped it on the tears began again and you just spent the night in your apartment alone, sulking, listening to sad music, watching sad movies, cooking dinner for one, yourself. Things were different and you hated it, your body hated it, and you barely knew how to function mentally, physically, and emotionally. Was there ever going to be an end to this pain?

Little did you know Aaron did follow you home to make sure you got there safely, you didn’t put any thought into the car following you because all your thoughts were about Aaron. He watched and made sure you got in the door but to his surprise a man opened the door and he was ready to get out of his car to come protect you until he stopped with his door halfway opened as he saw you kiss the man. You had moved on, but you were unaware of the fact that Aaron had gotten the papers for his two weeks and had broken up with Beth a week ago. That’s why he never answered how she was earlier because he hadn’t been talking to her. He couldn’t be upset but he was and it was completely selfish. So against his will he drove home, to an empty apartment like before and went to sleep in an empty bed, holding onto the memory of you being next to him as he cried and held onto a shirt you left at his apartment that he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of.

#Aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds #ranaewrites

[mrswolffs-blog]

Waking around madly, Lewis went from one garage to the next searching for his former lover. The 5’2 Jamaican woman seem to have disappeared the moment he left his motor home.

Searching left and right, he finally found her chatting away with her “partner” in the Redbull garage as they conversed about the car. Walking in pass the security, Lewis headed right up to the couple; stopping their conversation. “Y/n may I please be speak with you in private?” He asked respectfully, giving her a chance to make their interaction civil. “No, anything that you have to say can be said right here” Y/n sassed at him which made the situation worse, seeming that he had given her the benefit of the doubt.

In one swift motion, Lewis swung the woman over his shoulder as she started hitting his back to no avail, then started making his way out of the opponent’s garage, when Y/n’s boyfriend blocked his path. “Dude you can’t just come here and take my lady away! Put her down!” He demanded yet Lewis looked at him pathetically before letting out a hearty laugh. “You really think you’re doing something? Please allow me to pass?” Lewis asked politely to which Y/n’s boyfriend pushed him, making him stumble and almost hitting Y’n’s head into a wall (HUGE MISTAKE!!).

Lewis became infuriated as he placed Y/n’s now tired form onto a chair. He turned to the man who had pushed him, smiling softly before laying a jaw breaking punch to the man’s face as the entire garage went silent upon hearing the man’s jaw break. The man stumbled back, blood coming up through his mouth as his eyes watered, yet Lewis payed him no mind as he turned to recollect the girl, only to realise that she ran out into paddock.

Chasing Y/n through the paddock, Lewis managed to catch her right in front the Mercedes garage after a few of the mechs blocked her way. Picking her up, he swiftly walked to his driver’s room, having Angela close the door from the outside.

“What is your problem?! You always come back to ruin anything that I have going on for myself!! Why are you so destructive?!! You just won’t leave my life!!” Y/n ranted angrily as she repeatedly hit his chest. Lewis allowed her to vent before he started speaking.

“Sweetheart, I never have never hurt you. What you are referring to as me cheating was not the case. I went out to a hangout with a couple of friends when she joined and so we accommodated her. She wouldn’t leave so we took her with us. I promise you that nothing happened.” Lewis explained as he held her weak and crying form. He could see clearly that she was deeply hurt from his past actions, which was why she immediately got up and let after the video was released.

Sitting own for a while, Lewis had been off for an hour in a meeting; he just returned to find Y/n deep in thought. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusion. It’s just that you’ve hurt me so much and I thought that you wouldn’t change. I feared that if I stayed, you’d continue with the wildness you had before we met” Y/n explained which broke his heart.

“You shouldn’t be sorry, I was the one who caused the distrust. I should’ve been clear when we last spoke but instead I decided to play petty. I am deeply sorry love. Please forgive me?” Lewis pleaded as he rubbed his face along her skin, asking for forgiveness.

Y/n slowly calmed as she hugged him tightly, sniffing in his scent and rubbing her face into his chest as a form of forgiveness. Later when everyone spotted the two walking out towards the car park together hand in hand, they knew that their favourite couple was back together and the so called boyfriend was out of the picture for good.

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x oc #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton fanfic

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 27 “Spicy Gas” [Episode List] Dave and Dana try to spice things up in their sexual life.

POV: Dave

Spicy Gas

Fuck, I’m freezing in this car.

It’s worth it though: I’m picking my girlfriend up from work and we’re going back to my place together. Tim (my bro and roommate) is out of town because of some needy client so, yeah, you know where this is going: a sexy, hot, movie night until we fall asleep on the couch.

When you’re past 30, this is considered a massive win.

It’s about 7:00 PM and I parked right where Dana asked me, in the mostly desert underground car park below the office building she works at. She works (usually overtime…) in a law firm and she’s as badass as she sounds; it’s a demanding job, though she’s up for it, as she told me many times without me asking and not in a nervous way at all. 

Yes, she sounds stressed, but I know her, she’s got it, I’m here if she needs to vent. Sometimes that’s all you need and if it’s not, well, we’re just gonna talk abou- why is this car so cold?!

I hope Dana’s on her way ‘cause if she’s not she’s gonna find his boyfriend dead of hypothermia. Before picking her up, I made a quick stop to a fast food nearby to get some french fries on the fly, because my body may be a temple, but it’s a crumbling one. But not even junk food raised my body temperature. 

This is how it ends, Dana, with your handsome boyfriend being murdered by this harsh, cold Winter in his own car, a coffin made of plastic and steel.

Truth is, I was bored and tired, so I was basically falling asleep, until I heard someone tapping on the car window right next to me. That made me jump, that always startle me for some reason… and she knows it very well, given the idiotic, beautiful smile on her face.

“Hey babe.” I said from inside the car, but she could barely hear me.

She walked around the vehicle and got inside, sitting on the passenger seat, next to me. We exchanged a quick peck on the lips and I then went for the keys to start the car.

“Wait, I need a moment.” Dana said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

She wasn’t mad nor sad, she just wanted to smoke a cigarette before leaving, all while she (as I said) vented about some co-worker acting like a bitch.

“‘Do not let Bennet know about it’ I told him and guess what he did?!”

“He… he told B-“

“He told her!” she had a puff of her cigarette. “Can you believe it? Now everyone knows we’re behind schedule because that idiot had to lick my boss’ ass.”

“Wow” I replied. I swear I’m listening, I’m just a bit on auto-pilot.

And freezing.

“And my boss… oh my boss, she got so mad, and rightfully so. We could handle the schedule, we do it all the time, but no! He had to rat us out like the kiss ass he is.”

“Is that him?” I said, casually glancing at some guy walking in the empty parking lot. “I can run him over if you want to.” I joked… and I hope she knows I’m joking.

“Yes, but don’t do anything, don’t move, don’t make any sound. He’s such a kiss ass that if he notices us he’ll come here to cha- I told you not to make a sound!” she said, almost laughing, as my enormous fart cut her off. 

Yes, one of my usual farts, powered by those fries I got earlier (not that I need any particular fuel to rip a good one).

You all know what I’m capable of, my bro Tim definitely does.

I hate how warm it felt compared to the sheer cold of the car. My girl is very familiar with all of my talents, including this one. 7 seconds and I was done.

“Are you done shitting yourself?” she politely asked.

I leaned towards her and we exchanged another quick peck, but me moving meant that the gas trapped under my ass now was free to pollute the entire car.

“I’m your pig, remember?” I whispered.

“I literally never called you that.”

“Really? Must have been one of my other girlfriends then.” I joked.

She playfully slapped my shoulder and I sat back in front of the steering wheel, ready to start the car.

“Wait.”

“Oh please can we go home? I’m freezing.” I lamented.

“Just a minute…” she looked at me amused, but thoughtful. “There’s something I’d like to talk you about.” she put out her cigarette and put it in the ashtray.

“You okay?”

“Sure.” she replied, calmly.

A few seconds of silence followed. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for her to say something.

“I actually… do like when you’re a pig.” she smiled, but still being serious and calm about it.

I gave her and inquisitive, amused look.

“Don’t judge me.” she noticed my expression.

“I’m not judging you babe.” I said. “It’s our thing, we’re very open about what we like.”

“I know… you’re awesome.”

“Of course I am.” I confirmed, with a smug smirk, fully knowing how annoying I am.

“And I, too, am awesome, thank you very much.” she added, giving me a funny scolding glare.

We laughed it off.

“So what’s up, babe?” I genuinely asked. “You know my kinks...” I leaned closer to her. “What’s your dirty secret, Mrs. D?” I whispered, trying to act cool and sexy, but all I got was another playful slap on my shoulder.

“It’s not… what you did like a minute ago.” she said, gesturing towards me.

“Oh you mean this?” I pretended to push one more fart out, but this time I actually had nothing brewing (incredible, huh?). I was amused by her reaction though. “Just kidding.” I quickly said.

She actually laughed at that.

“You’re so nice and it’s not that I like you being disgusting but… dammit, I admit that… sometimes… when we do our thing… maybe I’d like you being a bit more… dirty.”

I let out a surprisingly nervous cackle.

“That’s it? You want to spice things up?” I asked, reaching for my phone. “Because I’m pretty sure Google can give us some tips.”

She calmly but firmly extended her arm towards me. She grabbed my phone and threw it in the backseat. She then put her left hand on my jeans-clad right leg.

“If you’re cold, Mr. D” it was Dana’s turn to whisper. “I know just the way to warm you up.” 

That got me instantly aroused.

My girlfriend’s hand moved closer to my crotch, touching the tent I pitched between my legs.

“Oh… are you nervous?” she asked, gently caressing my boner, still in-character, whatever the character was.

I nodded.

Why did I nod? Am I an idiot?

With a deft movement, she untied my belt and her hand slipped right into my jeans and underwear, going straight for my hard cock.

As that happened, I let out a very short high-pitched scream, not because I wasn’t used to this, but because Dana’s hand was way colder than I was expecting. She broke character to laugh a bit at my very manly scream, then quickly went back into this femme fatale persona she was impersonating.

I was sweating.

But then I realized...

“Wait… r-right here?” I stuttered.

“Are you scared, Mr. D?” she asked. “Are you… too much of a nice guy for this?”

The fuck I am. 

I grabbed her head and kissed her, her tongue going down my throat as she wrapped her cold fingers around my warm, throbbing cock. 

I don’t know what was going down there… I mean I do know obviously, but the way Dana was moving her hand and fingers this time almost made me cum on the spot. She did in fact spice things up, so I guess I could do was return the favour... in my own personal way.

I sat back normally and spread my legs wide, my cock still being massaged, and ripped a loud, vibrating fart, a loud blast that made the entire vehicle shake. A quick 5 seconds rip which, weirdly enough, made Dana moan as she listened to it.

“You’re such a pig.” she scolded me, now literally strangling my cock, so much so that that I actually felt a bit of pain.

And I was loving the fuck out of that.

I saw a car passing by but the thought of them noticing us only made me harder.

I then ripped another big fart, because I’m the master of this shit. I could feel the vibrations of this one even on Dana’s hand as she jerked me off, something that she seemed to enjoy.

All of this was disgusting and yet we found it hot as fuck.

My girlfriend was as thirsty I was and finally managed to pull my cock out of my jeans.

“Oh there it is.” she said, leaning down to give it a quick lick. "Let me have it."

Not the first time we do this stuff obviously, but dammit that one move was indeed a dirty one. Pre-cum dripped down from the tip of my penis as I ripped another monstrous fart, the warm gas fogging up the car's windows. I was hot-boxing that whole place and my girlfriend didn’t care; instead she once again slipped her tongue down my throat.

“Time to sleep, pig.” she then whispered right into my hear, right before biting it.

After that, she strongly tightened her grip on my cock and then twisted it. I clenched my teeth as that happened, but the arousal that it gave me was insane.

That final move made me cum, a white fountain appearing between my legs as Dana bit my ear again. 

That was quick… for my standards at least, but she didn’t seem to mind at all. Actually, she was a sweaty mess herself. She licked her lips and gave me a quick peck on my own.

“Try finding that on Google.” she said, as she sat back on her passenger seat.

As if the spirit of some femme fatale left her body, she turned to me and smiled, opening the car window by her side, now realizing how terrible my gas was.

“Yeah, fuck Google, ammirite?” literally the most unsexy thing I could have said.

She handed me some napkins to clean the mess. And a cigarette, which we shared.

“Still cold?” Dana asked me, once again giving me a certain look.

I started the car in response, then I turned to her, looking straight into her brown eyes. 

I let out a loud, muffled fart that shook the seat, narrowing my eyes as I pushed it out. It was warm, it was vibrating through my jeans-clad ass. I winked at my girlfriend as the thunder kept going, something that she, against all odds, seemed to appreciate.

12 seconds, then my ass went silent.

“Are you?” I asked back to her, with a smirk.

The End

#eproctophilia #davefarts #fart kink #malefarts #fart story

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hey again. Saw the burn out yeah I kinda predicted it😭 there were so many You were gonna need a little break so I. Please take one! Lol I’m bouta be contradicting rn but For a little request how about a HXH fluff? I’ve been having a Rough day/week and need some fluff in my life. And a serious hug. As you know I love feitan. But you can do kurapika. Meruem ( not sure if you write him ) Illumi, shal or Franklin depending if you write meruem. Also the fluff could be anything from head to toe.💜

Hi, thank you for the ask! Yes there was a lot, like way more than I would've wanted of just dorm leaders x [insert different franchise character]!s/os that I wasn't really feeling it anymore. I might get to those at some point again, but as of now no. I've never written for Meruem before, and these might just be more platonic since I don't see him having romantic feelings for anyone haha. Hope your week gets better too!

Kurapika, Meruem, Illumi, Shalnark, Franklin helping you get through a tough week

Kurapika

You two should get a break together honestly with how busy the two of you are haha

But on a serious note, he will try to support you but it may just be through words of "you need to take a break" or getting you a cup of tea. With how fixated he is on his own tasks it's unlikely he'll do a lot but know that he wants to help you

If you two are away from each other (ie you're not on traveling with him on his path of revenge) he might give you calls from time to time. This is really rare though since he's...well...refusing to pick up his phone from anyone

If you happen to meet him before his whole "revenge is good" path, he would've given you hugs when you two were alone. Lots of supportive words, making sure you're doing well. He might just pick you up from whatever you're doing to get you to sleep since you've been working so hard

Overall he's like a mom friend but it only goes so far with how busy he is with his own work. If you do happen to see a box of your favorite snacks on your desk when he's gone, know that it's from him and there's likely a little note on it too telling you he's there for you

Meruem

How did you get on his good side? Who knows, maybe you're a Chimera ant that works well with the rest of the royal guards, or he's taken interest in you similar to his situation with Komugi. Whatever it is, he doesn't really understand the concept of "stress"

He sees you with dark circles, running around the halls of the palace Meruem stole took and he can sense you're tense all over. Finally, getting tired of seeing you look almost lifeless, he stops you and tells you to go get some rest

Meruem's not the type of person to hear objections, and if you try to he might threaten to cut your limbs off so you can't move from whatever you'll be resting on :/. He's trying, he just needs to learn a bit more on how he's supposed to be supportive

Will ask a royal guard to keep an eye on you, most likely Pitou since the rest of them won't care about you if you're human (Pouf might kill you for all Meruem knows). Meruem will frequently visit you while you take breaks, making sure you're doing better than before. He won't hug you because he's scared of breaking you he doesn't see a point in it, but he will listen to whatever you have to say or get off your chest

Illumi

Similar to the two above, he's not really known to be that caring. However, seeing you not in the best shape you can be might worry him, especially if you're someone he considers close.

He might pick you up and knock you out just so you can get some sleep haha. But the most common thing you'll get from him is a really blunt "You look tired, stop what you're doing and take care of yourself." If you ask him for a hug, he won't really object but he won't show that he likes what he's doing either. Might end up squeezing you too tight and causing your ribcage to almost break :/

He's also the type to listen to you if you want to talk to him. He might be busy with something else while you vent, but he's listening.

Now if you happen to be stressed because of an individual, he might ask you who it is. Expect the person to suddenly die though. Illumi thinks that if the problem gets eradicated, then you'll feel better :/

He might not show that he cares for you that much, but know that he keeps an eye out for you. Usually before you even complain he's already spotted signs of stress from you and will try to get you feeling better

Shalnark

Though he's a member of the troupe, he's shockingly much better at giving you fluff than the rest of the people we've already talked about

He's going to give you hugs. He might just give you them out of the blue, saying that "hugs are healthy" even if you object to him. If you ask him for hugs he'll just open his arms and tell you he's totally fine with them

Lots of supportive words. He's a bit chatty so expect him to go on and on about how you need to take a break, how you're already doing well and he doesn't think you'll fail, etc. It's all really sweet coming from a guy that's also known to be part of a notorious group of thieves

He might not be the best listener, but he tries to when you want to vent for a bit. Just know that he's better at giving you words than accepting them, but nonetheless he's there for you

Overall I feel like he's the type to surprise you with sudden boosts of energy or support. He might also just pick you up from whatever you're doing to get you to rest haha

Franklin

He's sort of like a gentle giant. He won't push you to take breaks but will frequently check up on you and might bring you some snacks or drinks to get you feeling better

He's really good at listening. If you need to get something off your chest he'll sit down and listen to you. Also, you can trust him with your words, he's extremely good at keeping things private, so know that you're safe with him

If you want hugs, he might be a little hesitant at first because he doesn't want to accidentally hurt you, but he's super gentle and the hugs are really nice. He might pat you on the head sometimes too

I can imagine you falling asleep on him from time to time whenever you guys are just sitting together. He won't budge, and he tries to keep other troupe members from waking you up if they happen to walk by. He doesn't want you losing sleep because of him anyways

Overall he feels very therapeutic. Like a cozy sort of feeling you get when you're inside with a warm cup of tea in your hands while it snows outside.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh scenarios #hxh imagines #hxh x reader #hxh headcanons #kurapika #kurapika headcanons #kurapika x reader #meruem #meruem headcanons #meruem x reader #illumi #illumi zoldyck #illumi x reader #illumi headcanons #shalnark #shalnark ryusei #shalnark x reader #shalnark headcanons #franklin #franklin bordeau #franklin x reader #franklin headcanons #gn!reader #ask box

[basichextechml]

The Leaded Question

Wednesday/Fem!Reader

Rating: Mature // 2.5K Words // Distressing topics such as Suicide and Death, Hope you guys know whenever I write Wednesday she’s autistic, Just a lil vent fic, Ambiguous Ending, Angst, Please don’t read if you feel this may be triggering

Wednesday couldn’t name the feeling weighing down her stomach, especially not when you looked at her like you knew something she didn’t.

Distressing/triggering materials under the cut

---

     “You’d kill me if I asked, right?”

     Wednesday was sure you were joking, because when she looked up from her book you were tapping away on your phone; no doubt playing some game.

     Almost mindlessly, she replied with a quiet ‘If you wished’, as if it were an answer any sane person would want to hear. Wednesday wasn’t the best at telling people what they wanted to hear, after all, but she wanted you to be happy. It was a foreign concept to her- both acknowledging another’s feelings and having the gut pull to keep said feelings positive. If you were joking- someone would respond to the joke, right? Wednesday had said the right thing, right?

     You hummed, the corner of your lip twitching up at her words.

     A deep feeling set itself inside Wednesday’s stomach. Like lead, she could nearly taste it crawling up her throat. She had said the right thing.

---

     There were moments when the shadows that cast on your face made you look like a corpse.

     When the brightness of the moon loomed steadily overhead, and the crisp autumn air curled the ends of her hair, Wednesday watched you silently. It was a date. Well, as close to a date as you both could get considering the house arrest Weems had shackled you with.

     Normally, there was nothing that could stop Wednesday from going through with plans she had already made- she had been tracking the weather and the cemetery groundskeeper’s schedule for weeks to make sure a thunderstorm would roll around right when he was taking a break. Principle Weems couldn’t stop her even if the world were on the line. But just as she was choosing a coat, you had come up behind her, softly asking if you could just stay in tonight.

     “I’m sorry,” You said, words creeping down her spine as you put her scarf back in its drawer. “I know you planned this- but I’m really tired. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

     Wednesday’s brow twitched down in disappointment. She’d never outwardly say it, but she was a bit disappointed. A slight movement behind you caught her attention- Thing sitting on her bedspread, obviously aware of her dampened mood.

     “Respect.” He signed.

     Right. It was in all those books he’d given her. Partnerships were built on respect for the other party’s wishes. Wednesday decided she’d have to figure out a new day for your date in the future.

     That’s how you sat on the balcony together, the cord of a heated blanket you were sharing threaded through the door in the window behind you. The awning above, and the slope in the stone, protecting you from the rain. Other than the patter of rain and the rumbling of thunder, you were both quiet. Wednesday turned her neck only slightly, eyes trailing over your profile. That familiarity was there in your features- the slope of your nose and the upturn of your lips. Soft lashes that reminded her of spider legs fluttered against the apples of your cheeks- glossing over a newer edition that was quickly settling on your face. The sunken creases under your eyes were darker than they were last. They were an unexplained addition, and caused Wednesday’s mind to ask the question, why?

     She wondered if you were getting nightmares recently. Terrible visions that plagued your unconscious being, following you like a shadow into the real world. Maybe you were seeing things that weren’t there- newfound creatures that lurched through your line of sight and taunted you. Just like her. Was that why she felt so drawn to you? Wednesday scooched a little closer to you under the blanket, and in turn, you linked your pinky with hers.

     Perhaps you were keeping a secret. Something dark and upsetting had etched itself into your mind and latched on like a leech, dooming you to slowly be sucked dry by your anguish.

     She hated these ideas. Loathed them.

     Only she was allowed to plague you in such a way. To worm her way through your system like a parasite with its host. You had told her once that if she were a parasite, you’d keep her. It had made her swoon. This was why only she could create such terror in you. But what filled her with her own sense of dread was a growing thought that she was slowly being replaced. By what? She did not know.

     “Wednesday,” You said, “If you were to kill me, how would you do it?”

     She blinked up at you, once, twice, before responding to the question everyone should have an answer for. “Painlessly. Probably poison, so I could hold you as I did it.”

     “Huh.”

     Wednesday felt as if she was getting this joke less and less.

     “How would you kill me?” Wednesday asked in turn, her chance to hear your answer to a completely normal question.

     “Murder-suicide,” You said swiftly, the apple of your cheek resting against her temple for a moment before you pulled away. You were cold tonight. “I’d never want to live without you.”

     There was a heat to Wednesday’s cheeks that she found unbecoming of herself, hiding how she bashfully tilted her head away from yours. She could feel you lean closer, a butterfly kiss placed upon the fat of her cheek. That feeling in her stomach was back, however. Slowly, Wednesday was beginning to feel the leaded leech of it spread through her stomach tissue- as if she kept answering this question right, but in a wrong way. If that was even what she wanted to do.

     Wednesday, once again, turned her head to look you in the eyes, and at that moment, a flash of lightning illuminated them. They held a hollowness she’d never once seen before in you.

---

     You had seemed… chipper, these past few weeks, Wednesday noted. She had multiple theories as to why. Winter break was coming up, midterms were finally drawing to a close, and you had both been serendipitously taken off of house arrest. The bags beneath your eyes had dissipated, along with the worry Wednesday had felt melt into her organs.

     She had sat alone one evening wondering when her world had turned this way. When she admitted to herself that she had been… worried, it was as if the pearly gates had burst into flames, little cherubs falling through the clouds in terror as their feathers melted together. But realizing, in complete clarity, that she would be the one to set the gates ablaze if you asked had been like inhaling air for the first time. Her predecessors held more power than she’d ever thought- because she found herself making the very same obsessive mistakes that had led to her conception.

     Wednesday Addams would do whatever you wished, especially if it meant that look in your eyes would leave and never return to the world she was quickly building for the both of you.

     Today, on a chilly Sunday morning, you both sat at a cozy corner booth in The Weathervane. It was November first, and the only reason Wednesday had bothered to make note of it was because you reached into your coat pocket and slipped out a little black box, wrapped in a black satin bow.

     “My birthday isn’t for another twelve days,” Wednesday stated plainly, taking a sip from her drink. You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, pushing the gift closer to her. You seemed much happier.

     “I know, and you’ll still get a present on your actual birthday. I just wanted to give you this one a little early.”

     A plausible explanation.

     Wednesday slid her finger under the bow, undoing it quickly before sliding the top off. Inside, on a small cushion, sat a silver crank music box. She lifted it out of the box carefully, the tiny gift sat comfortably in her hand. Pinching it between her fingers, she grasped the handle and began to turn it- a soft plucked tune filling the space between them.

     “Brahms Cello Sonata”

     “It was the song you were playing when I asked you out,” You explained as if she had forgotten. She could never forget. Instead of verbalizing the swirl of gratitude, Wednesday simply grabbed your hand from where it was holding up your chin and interlaced her fingers with it.

     “I have an impeccable memory.” Anyone else would think the macabre girl was boasting. But you knew better. Something nearly bittersweet overtook you.

     “I know, it’s just a little something. For the memories.”

     For you to remember me.

---

     It was creeping closer to winter break, the end of November drawing nigh, and soon enough, Wednesday found herself packing up her clothes into a suitcase, mentally preparing for the journey home in the morning.

     Pushing the heavy baggage under her bed, her mind began to wander once again to thoughts of you. Everyone had exchanged holiday presents the day before, and Wednesday had noticed how… extravagant and well-thought-out yours seemed to be. You were normally a very meticulous person when it came to the people you knew, of course- that’s one thing Wednesday… appreciated about you. But it was nearly off-putting how much effort you had put into everyone’s gifts. Too well-constructed for a simple holiday huzzah that came annually. Though, Wednesday truly had no point of reference, as this was her first time celebrating with you. Maybe you did this every year?

     Enid had been gifted a signed box set of CDs from a singer you both enjoyed. A note inside regailing how you two had met one day while you were passing by Enid’s dorm, and had heard your favorite song playing behind the thick oak door. It was an instant connection, you had said, and we’ve been best friends ever since.

     Xavier had been gifted a set of pan pastels- ones he had been eyeing for a while but could never justify buying with the price tag attached to it. You’d told him this story about how you could see him in the future with his art on the walls in famous galleries all over the world- perhaps even practicing performance pieces. Making his art come to life before the audience’s very eyes, stepping out of his father’s shadow. He promised he’d dedicate his first professional gallery to you.

     Bianca had received… A picture frame. Wednesday had only caught a sly glimpse of it before the girl quickly, but carefully, put it back in the box it came in- tears catching at the corners of her eyes. It seemed to be a photo of you two, the faces in it much younger, and the smiles much brighter. You’re an amazing girl, Bianca, She remembers you saying, And you’ve accomplished so much more than you give yourself credit for. Respectfully, Wednesday turned away as you embraced her. The memories you shared were far older than Wednesday had previously thought, mentally reminding herself to ask you about it later.

     Wednesday received a book. A thick, handset, leather book. Silver foiled etching stretched across its spine, with sturdy silver thread bounding the sides. A matching clasp kept the book, bigger than her head, and as thick as the length of her palm, from opening. When Wednesday finally solved the riddle that kept the lock in place, she opened the cover in anticipation, just to see the pages were… blank.

     A journal. You had explained. For your manifesto. You have so many brilliant thoughts, so many ideas- you have to put them somewhere, don’t you?

     You had made her feel so seen in that moment- that as she passed along your gift, the latest chapter of her novel, where a character that had a name with an anagram that matched yours made her debut, she asked you to save it for when you got back to your dorm.

     Wednesday stared at the book in her hands now. Fingers glossing over the cover and turning it over and over again, just to commit every detail of the gift to memory. Her name had been branded onto the side- so no one would mistake who it belonged to.

     She didn’t want to part with you for the holidays. Not when you had cracked open her ribs and taken her heart, pressing a kiss to the cold organ before putting it back and stitching her up carefully. She had asked if you’d like to spend the break in the Addams manor- the girl was sure her family would take no issue in the extra addition. Besides, she didn’t feel well sending you back home to your parents, with how you felt about them- and in turn, how they felt about you. They were already on an exclusively dangerous list in her mind, without having met them. But you declined, stating if you chose not to go back, they would bitch and moan about your absence.

     Wednesday knew they would complain anyways. But as Thing’s book said, you had to respect your partner’s wishes.

     Just know I’ll be with you in spirit. A ghost looming over your shoulder. A spirit tied to your side.

     The smile on your lips reflected that you knew something she didn’t.

     A jilted knock sounded on her door, and Wednesday placed the gift down on her bed to answer it. She knew it was you, only you knocked on the door in that pattern. And she was correct, because the moment she opened that door, you had fallen into her arms, closing the door behind you with your foot.

     Sturdy like a cross, you embraced her, hands gripping her sides, and face tucked into the groove of her neck. Wednesday felt herself stiffen, the physical affection unprompted. You had encompassed her senses. She could only see the top of your head, smell your shampoo and perfume, feel your hands against her, hear your breathing, and touch the sweater you had donned for the chilly winter day. Slowly, she hugged back, resting her hands against the curve of your spine and pressing down slightly.

     You both stayed like that.

     After a few minutes, you pulled away, a content expression and a softness in your eye.

     “I’m ready,” You said.

     Wednesday was confused.

     You paid no mind to this, your smile only growing wider as you grabbed her hand and led her to her bed. Wednesday tried to push the thoughts that were quickly coming to mind. She never fancied herself a lech. You sat down on the edge of her comforter, bringing her hands up to caress your cheeks. You were always so warm against the coldness of her skin, it made her feel safe. Her thumb rubbed at the skin of your cheek. It was… nice to touch someone like this. She wanted to do it forever-

     “Remember how you said you’d kill me if I asked?”

     Wednesday hypothesized that the heart inside her chest didn’t beat. Whenever she checked and she felt the thrum- it was simply a psychosomatic symptom of a nervous experiment. The thing about a hypothesis though, was that at some point, you’re either proven right, or wrong.

     Wednesday was wrong.

     So very wrong- because she could feel her heart rate pick up at that very moment. And all of a sudden, she could name that leaded weight in her stomach. Terror.

     Not the good kind.

     You smiled at her, finally sharing what that knowing look in your eye was about. She wished you’d never told her.

     “I’m asking you, please.”

---

Thank you for reading! I understand that the ending was ambiguous. As an artist, I tend to write for two reasons, to tell a story, and to express my emotions. This fic falls into that latter category. Because of this, please do not ask me for a continuation or part two. Thank you for understanding!

#Wednesday (2022) #Wednesday Addams x Reader #Wednesday x Reader #Wednesday imagine #Wednesday fanfic #Tw // suicide #Tw // death #my fics

[vote-loki]

Not to like “oh woe is me” post but I feel like I can vent on tumblr since it’s idk tumblr. But I was SO excited for my final semester of undergrad this summer and then almost immediately after I got here in August I began struggling very deeply in ways I have never struggled before. Like confused 24/7, missing assignments because I was too tired to even get out my phone let alone my laptop, forgetting everything including what I’m doing or where I’m supposed to be and even classroom locations on a campus I’ve been at for 4 and 1/2 years. Losing things constantly, randomly loosing grip strength and dropping things, horrible brain fog, waking up feeling like I’m shaking 24/7 but everyone telling me I’m not shaking anywhere when I ask, issues walking, dizziness, vertigo. I’ve been having such extreme fatigue I can’t even get out of bed to pee until it hurts because I’m just too tired. This has been happening since August. Which I assumed this was bad depressive episode so I had them double my antidepressants, and then nothing got better.

But then like two months ago I woke up with this pain in the left upper corner of my right eye. Just a spot the size of my fingertip. And it had me in so much pain I was throwing up. So I thought “I’m a big kid, I have migraines like this all the time.” and I took some of my medicine for that. But it didn’t go away. It lasted for a whole day. When it came back a few days later I decided maybe it was sinus pressure, so I took some allergy meds and some cold meds for a week while it was hurting off and on. But that didn’t work. And then it came back and I got a migraine over top of it. So it wasn’t that. And FINALLY last week it got so bad I couldn’t see out of my eye, the pain had been constant for about four days, and I was so dizzy I could barely walk. So my mom drove an hour out of state to pick me up and an hour back down to take me to the er, who promptly sent me to their on call opthamolagist who, after a serious of very very bright lights directly to my hella dilated pupils, told me my optical nerve is swollen and I need and mri.

Which is FUCKING STUPID that my optical nerve is causing me this much pain. But whatever.

Anyway the day after I went to the er and saw the eye doctor I had a follow-up with my primary care physician, and he said “oh yeah, they’re gonna want that mri urgently. We want to make sure you don’t have ms. Your symptoms are consistent and optical neuritis is often one of the first things ms patients experience before diagnosis.” like girl? If I have ms that chose to present itself by incapacitating me to the point I am failing my final semester of undergrad, and may not be able to fix it, I am going to lose my mind. It couldn’t have presented itself six months from now?????? There’s no confirmation it’s me yet until after my mri, but still. Whatever this is has me pissed tf off. Show up at a different time.

All that being said. Here’s a meme I made about it using a screenshot from one of my fave vines because I’m actually coping and not at all having a sort of hypochondria spiral and doing as much research on it as possible. That would be weird.

#no but actually when googling symptoms I have like 90% of the ‘common early symptoms’ of ms. #anyway like. whatever witch cursed me???? I’d like to be uncursed now. #I also have been having these like random spasms where I throw my arm?? #the best way I know how to describe it is it’s LIKE a tic except it doesn’t repeat so I know it isn’t a tic #it’s more of a violent twitch. AND my right eyelid has been bugging out and twitching like crazy. #there are other symptoms but I really just wanted to vent #actually no the numbness in my hands and feet sucks donkey dick #there isn’t anything wrong with having ms like in a real way. it’s just when it chose to present itself is so upsetting to me #I really wish it could’ve happened after I finished my semester #this is so unfair that my future might be jeopardized just because my doctors weren’t listening to me in august #I’ve been saying this is happening and it’s LIKE my depressive episodes and LIKE my migraines and LIKE when you get really bad sinus #pressure but I’ve also been being abundantly clear that these aren’t normal symptoms for me when any of those things #I’m TOO tired for it to bed my depression. especially with everything else. #it’s not sinuses and I have had migraines ontop of it and that pain stayed constant. #and if I didn’t listen to my doctor when he was it was nothing maybe I’d be being treated already. maybe it wouldn’t have destroyed my fina #semester of undergrad. dawg I just wanted to graduate college. #long post #vent #personal #adding generic tags so people who filter long post or vent in the tags don’t have to see

[tabbyrhsims4simblr]

Anyone tired of Eddie yet? No? Me either. Hey guys I been away a while. I think the last time I even posted was about my dad’s passing which was in April of last year. I chose this Eddie gif because his mood is a reflection of how I’ve been feeling of late. My life has been one big shit sandwich even after my dad passed. I’ve heard that God will only give you what you can handle well He must think I have some thick ass skin or I’m one bad bitch because this passed year and half had been a shit show. Let me break it down for you. (Continue to read my personal shit below the cut)

January of 2021 my family and I get covid. Was worse for my daughter then my hubby and I. I didn’t like getting something the medical community wasn’t prepared for and the doctors know little about but we made it through. The beginning of April 2021 my hubby rolls his truck. Don’t know if y’all remember me posting about that. He didn’t even get a scratch thankfully. He loved that truck though and it sorta put us in a hardship only having one vehicle. Then my Dad passes away at the end of April 2021. Everything surrounding that was just incredibly hard to bare. My siblings and I had to make one of the hardest decisions of our lives. About little over a month later, June 2021 something horrific happened to my daughter. (I'm not going to go into detail here.) In September 2021 my hubby and I go through some difficult times in our marriage but we managed to work through it. Things have been good on that end at least. In December 2021 someone pulls out right in front of him while he’s driving the Honda we had bought our daughter for graduation causing him to total the car. This time he was injured. He had a hematoma on his left chin and a knee injury. We are in the process of suing the car insurance company because they refuse to do the right thing. In March of 2022 my hubby gets let go from his job. His injuries have healed so he may be able to go back soon. It could’ve been so much worse. In April 2022 we scattered my dad’s ashes at the campsite in the mountains where my dad and my brother spent a lot of time together. That was bitter sweet but we were all there as family. In July 2022 my dad’s older brother passes away in his sleep. We loved and adored our uncle Rick. They think it was due to complications with covid. I feel for my uncle Bo who is my dad’s younger brother. It’s just him now. He lost both his brothers in a little over a year. I guess that catches y’all up to what’s been the shit show of my life. You know after 42 years of living and the way I grew up I’m used to taking hits but not one after the other like this. Not looking for sympathy. I guess I felt like venting a bit and explaining the reason for my absence. I have tried to come back several times but when I do something always happened to pull me away. It’s why I been hesitant to come back because I was afraid something else would happened or maybe I’d been forgotten about. But then I see that some of you have reached out and I’m so sorry for taking so long to get back with y’all. This is a great community and I miss being a part of it. I’m going to give myself some more time and see how it goes. I miss you guys!

#tabbyrhsimblr #blabbytabby #miss you #♥

[theangelwithawand]

Incorrect Shakespeare Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 2

Benedick: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

Benedick: Hey Beatrice, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Benedick: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Beatrice: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Beatrice: The fucking satisfaction.

Benedick, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Beatrice: *half asleep* Benedick, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to themself* the Queen.

Benedick: *venting endlessly to Beatrice about their week*

Beatrice, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

Benedick: Beatrice, can I ask you a question?

Beatrice: You just did.

Benedick: Okay, can I ask you two questions?

Beatrice: You just did.

Benedick, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!

Beatrice: You just did.

Benedick: When?!

Beatrice: Just now.

Beatrice, to Benedick: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!

Benedick: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*

Benedick: Tommorrow's garbage day.

Beatrice: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.

Beatrice: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

Benedick: We have a problem.

Beatrice: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Benedick: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Beatrice: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Benedick: Yes.

Beatrice: I'd sleep.

Benedick: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Beatrice: Mine just says "Beatrice no."

Benedick: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Beatrice: I want to kiss you.

Benedick, not paying attention: What?

Beatrice: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Beatrice: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Beatrice: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Benedick, are a fucking cactus.

Benedick: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Beatrice: What changed your mind?

Benedick: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

Benedick: I’m in love with you.

Beatrice: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Benedick: I know.

Beatrice: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Benedick: Even Beatrice and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich.

Beatrice: I mistook them for a garbage can.

Leonato/Don Pedro: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

Beatrice : Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Beatrice/ Benedick: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

Beatrice : If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Don John: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Beatrice : I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

Benedick : My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

Beatrice : I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Benedick , at Hero’s funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Benedick , leaning over Hero′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Hero : Yeah, no shit.

Beatrice , to Benedick : How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

Beatrice : If I may interject...

Benedick : Oh, awesome, Beatrice was eavesdropping.

Benedick: Can I bother you for a second?

Beatrice: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Beatrice: Hey, Benedick? I need advice.

Benedick: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

Beatrice: My hands are cold.

Benedick: Here, let me hold them.

Beatrice: My lips are cold too.

Benedick: *covers Beatrice's mouth with their hand*

#incorrect quotes #incorrect shakespeare #much ado about nothing #much ado #idiots in love #maan #shakespeare #benedick and beatrice

[hologramcowboy]

To the anon who didn’t see an issue with the hooters video and said to touch grass: I was always told it’s not what you say it is how you say it that matters. There was nothing wrong with Jensen waving at the waitresses. I mean he was being polite it’s in his nature to be polite. However the way Danneel acted over it was messed up. The way she acted towards him was uncalled for period. It was very demeaning of her. We wouldn’t need a instance of her waving at waiters to say she is emotionally abusing him or making him feel insecure. Why wouldn’t we need a video like that? Well cause there are many examples of her being abusive towards him. 

Example on her Instagram there is a photo where they are heading to the brewery. Jensen is eating gummy bears. In the caption she proceeds to say how many gummy bears are in the bag. She goes on to say how many her &  the kids say while pointing out he basically ate the entire bag himself. Now if you had gummy bears especially Haribo gummy it’s hard to put the bag down. Now it may be just me but to me it seemed like she was shaming him(and not in a good way) for it. Another example the entire AD tour that there is self explanatory. She takes any shot at him she could during that. 

A recent example now idk if this is true so I’m sorry if I am wrong. But anyway when he did his interview for the investigators for the Rust tragedy investigation he was reliving something that is hard for everyone to retell. But since he was a witness he had to tell investigators what he knows or saw. Someone said he mentions Danneel is scared of flying in a way to cover up while she wasn’t there to comfort him. Not sure the full details on that cause I heard it from people so it’s basically hearsay. But we all know that excuse is bs she has mentioned before how she used to fly all the time to meet him in Vancouver while he was filming Supernatural(before she was apparently no longer welcome on set to watch until she did her few episodes) before they had kids. Idk know why Jensen covered for her there. Maybe he was too hurt by her not being there that he wanted to try to excuse why. We all know she just didn’t want to be bothered by it. That there is messed up your husband is needing comfort after experiencing something that traumatized not only him but the entire crew(especially after finding out that same gun was supposed to be used in a scene with him) and you can’t be bothered to comfort him when he needs you the most?! That is messed up on so many levels and shows how little she cares about him.

If Tara was still around she would show many more receipts of Danneel. Being abusive towards Jensen. If anyone needs to “touch grass” as you say it is those who can’t see how she really is towards him. Yes in the beginning they seemed so in love and she actually seemed nice but as soon as that ring went on her finger her true colors came out. Their honeymoon phase was over before it started. So yes maybe Jensen shouldn’t have waved at the waitresses in front of her. But her actions towards him are inexcusable and just shows how toxic she really is towards him. 

Sorry this is so long and I’m sure you are tired of getting asks about it. But I just needed to vent about it. 

💕 Thank you, Anon. I found her moves to be very manipulative from the very beginning because she played the press to get more exposure and used Jensen to do so. Anyone remember the whole Ted ordeal? Who was Danneel even before that? 🤣 No one. So she leeches off Jensen and is someone only thanks to him and yet she demeans him at every turn. You provided some perfect examples but there are many other instances where she displayed contempt towards him and minimized him. So, to me, people who stan her are people who are incapable of loving Jensen because they focus on his as an object not as a person. Because if they truly loved him they couldn't possibly support a woman who devalues him on a constant basis. People who make light of devaluing need to do their research and learn the psychological implications of it.

#anti danneel

[ko2vo]

6 weeks post top surgery hooray

Physically healing has been super smooth. Emotionally, it’s been tolling. So below the read more, I’m gonna post some progress photos and kinda just vent about what healing has been like week by week. I’m hoping this will be informative to anyone researching top surgery and looking at personal accounts.

Overall, the ultimate end to this post is that I am really happy I finally got top surgery. I wish I had done it sooner, I have never been this comfortable existing day to day before. Healing is emotionally draining though and that doesn’t negate from my happiness with the end result.

Pre-op

Hopefully this doesn’t cause this post to get flagged lmao. Anyhow, this is my pasty ass going into surgery. My chest was probably like a B cup; it’s been over a decade since I’ve worn bras so that’s an estimate. I’ve been on testosterone for almost five years so I have some hair that admittedly I didn’t think about in terms of how that might complicate healing. More on that later.

Dysphoria: bad. Since age 15, I’ve been binding. Began with layering sports bras before going to compression vests (a brief period of being tempted by ace bandages but thankfully, advocacy was already being spread online about the permanent damage involved with unsafe binding). I avoided going places because I was super conscious of my chest, how it looked under my shirt, and just generally felt my breathing limited by binders so going out was tiring. Going on T helped a lot. By a year and a half, I was passing like 80% of the time. Still, chest surgery was always part of my transition goals.

SO IT HAPPENS

Double mastectomy with free nipple grafts on May 18th, 2022. My surgeon has 30 years of experience and the procedure only lasted about an hour, which was wild when most of the quotes I was seeing on line for how long it takes was 4-5 hours.

One week post-op:

For the first week, I couldn’t do much at all. I was wrapped up in bandages, suture tape, and a compression vest (that I eventually added some makeshift straps to with safety pins and fabric strips because it kept feeling like it was sliding down and tugging). My partner did a lot of cooking and picking things up for me and helping me change clothes because moving at all was both painful and exhausting. Being in pain and suddenly so dependent made me sad and irritable and it kinda just got worse over the week.

My nipples were just scabs at this point lmao. Honestly terrifying. My skin still had the blue marks from when the surgeon drew where he’d be making incisions. Bruising up to the armpits. My suture tape was removed at the end of the first week and oh my god, I almost passed out. The adhesive really glued to my skin and the tugging of getting it off wasn’t exactly painful because my chest was numb in a lot of places, but it was incredibly uncomfortable and my body’s reaction to the feeling was nausea and vertigo.

Two weeks post-op:

In healing terms, things were already looking a lot better. Nipples still black, bruising still there, but everything was going smooth. However, this was my worst week emotionally. My partner went back home and I was able to do more things on my own but I was super slow. Everything ached still. I was crying a lot out of frustration and, in a lot of ways, guilt. You kinda get into the headspace that this is one of the best things you can do for yourself as a trans person with chest dysphoria and that you should be happy about it no matter what. So non-LGBT people in my life would be asking how I was feeling, how healing was going, and I’d just go for the middle-ground “I’m tired” answer.

The second week after getting a major surgery really isn’t when you are gonna experience any sort of elation. Your body’s energy is being redirected to healing and things are still super sore. I had stopped taking my painkillers during the first week and mostly managed my pain through Advil.

Additionally, this was the first week I could shower as well. Feeling oily and sticky and sweaty takes another toll on your mental state. My first shower was actually just me sitting on the floor of my shower and scooping water from the tap onto me, I was terrified of fucking up my healing and barely able to move without pain anyways hah.

Three weeks post-op:

Looking better and better, even while my mental health was struggling. Part of that was also just being stuck at home and on medical leave, in addition to my prior emotional rockiness. This was the week I began to resume my remote job though, which helped stabilize me a little more with productive things to focus on. I did however realize that some of my chest hair had become ingrown, which was an unexpected development, so keep that in mind if you’ve been on T for as long as I have prior to getting top surgery.

I began scar care this week as well.

Four weeks post-op:

Oh, looking WAY better. I started back up at my physical workplace this week too. Incredibly tiring. At this point, I was allowed to lift up to 20lbs but I was still wearing my compression vest to protect my nipples lmao. That being said, my physical job is at a bookstore, moving books around. Accommodations were put in place but the first day back after having so many weeks off was exhausting. There’s a combination of the body is still healing as well as having not worked for a handful of weeks before surgery, which caused a big plummet in energy with even the smallest amount of exertion.

Mood wise, this week was a little better than the last week. I experienced my first real sense of excitement for the future, imagining what I would be able to do now that I wasn’t being weighed down by this part of my body that had always prevented me from doing everything I wanted to do. Still, that would contrast again my general emotional vulnerability. I was emotionally raw and on edge. I had also been watching too much political commentary and feeling a little Doomy with the current state of trans rights lmao (among other things)

Five weeks post-op:

Not a ton of difference but continuing to heal. Emotionally starting to stabilize, part of that being a return to routine and being able to do more and more physically. At this point, I didn’t have to wear my compression vest anymore, which was also wonderful. Officially binder free after 11 years of near daily binding.

I also! Began to wear clothes that weren’t just easy to get in and out of button downs and zip-ups and that felt good. Still avoiding lifting arms over my head so I don’t stretch my scars but having more range of motion and trying on clothing I had been avoiding because of how it felt wrong against my body was really exciting.

Six weeks post-op:

Six weeks post operation is the big milestone for top surgery. At this point, you generally don’t have any limitations on how much you can lift or activities you can do if the healing has gone smoothly. And my healing has been very smooth. My nipples are basically healed at this point with just minimal scabbing, I don’t have anymore pain either. My chest feels numb still and there are moments where I have twinges of pain but overall it all feels good.

Emotionally, I’m feeling incredibly good. Once again, I’m looking forward to the future; I feel like a weight holding me back has been removed and I can finally push forward. I’m thinking about finally continuing education and getting my Masters degree, I’m thinking about looking for a better job, I’m excited to go out and get involved in my community and volunteer and talk to people again. It’s very surreal for me, feeling this passive hopefulness.

So that’s where I’m at now. Still avoiding lifting my arms over my head to keep my scars from stretching much but this has been the beginning of my own white boy summer. Thank you if you read this far, I hope it was an interesting or informative read.

#korvo talks #trans stuff #been a long time coming #long post #bless your soul if you read this whole thing i mostly wrote it for me lmao #i still hope its helpful for anyone that might be curious

[benjaminthewolf]

Hey, bud…

How are you doing today?

I hope that you’re doing ok after the troublesome comment that idiot anon had sent you and me venting all of my feelings onto you… (-_-|||)

The truth is that I HATE seeing you in a defeated state after a brutal blow from a message that’s so subjective! T_T

And yes, I’m fully aware of the 3 year age gap between us. But, just because that I’m an adult, DOES NOT mean I’m into that NSFW junk! It’s nasty! (XP)

I didn’t see that particular interest of yours as lustful or disgusting, but instead, I saw it as a little escape from all the struggles in my life. That’s the main reason why the stories I requested are lighthearted and wholesome. (Comfort, Healing, Protective, etc…)

I don’t want to trouble you and it may sound selfish but… This request of mine is about Alien Girlfriend from FNF: Starcatcher.

The Healing/Soft story about Starcatcher/Alien GF goes like this: 

Everyone on Alien GF’s home world is having a meteor shower viewing party & Alien Girlfriend is here to witness it in all of its glory. She made a wish on the brightest blue shooting star she saw. When the party is over, Alien GF decides to return to her royal palace for a good night’s sleep.

But, little did she know, that the blue star she made a wish on isn’t actually a star, but a spaceship. The one that will crash on her home planet soon.

Meanwhile, on the spaceship, Starcatcher/Astronaut Boyfriend is flying through space when he starts to feel tired and decides to take a nap with the autopilot on. But, he mistakenly turns on the gravity engine instead, causing an unintentional but critical error and ends up falling towards and crashes into an unknown alien planet, which is Alien GF’s home world, as a result.

I’m sorry… Is my request too much for you?

Don’t worry, I’ll write down even more details on a separate post later on. You don’t have to do it this weekend or any other day of the week afterwards. Just a few weeks after that is fine.

(Thinking: Big mistake, Star… You’re only going to add more fuel to the fire! I get that you only request those stories to them once every month, but you’re brutally forcing them out of the frying pan and into the furnace! If you fail to look after them during the writing process… They. Will. [REDACTED]. HATE you right after this!) o o o {{ (O~O) }}

If you’re busy with something else, that’s totally understandable. After all, I’m not rushing you to get back on your writing adventure. After what happened… last month… *sniffs and sobs quietly* (|||T~T)

Oh shoot, I forgot to respond to this. Hey Star, I don't have any contempt for you whatsoever or the prompts you give me. I appreciate that you don't put a lot of pressure on me because man I know I write a lot but the list of things I want to do with my abilities is huge and that often leaves me prioritizing one story over another. I know I do want to write this but yeah I am going to have to get other things done first.

[foxymoxynoona]

Hiii hello. Sorry I didn’t send anything about flux, I wanted to sooo bad but I got covid (this is now my third day of fever☺️), lost a really close relative in the span of like 12 hours and I’m in pain cause I’m about to get my period sooo my concentration is stagnant: level 0🙂. Everything is pretty much hurting like a bitch but don’t worry I read as soon as it came out and OF COURSE I sent it to 🌚 and we started arguing again. (Btw she knows everything because even tho she’s still at the beginning I was tired of not having anyone to vent to so I literally told her every single detail that made me go crazy lol).

Let’s start off by saying I’m like 50% satisfied? Wtf jk? Nothing more to say? Sure? Never took a pill in Ibiza? Alright that’s gonna be a fun conversation, just saying☺️. I swear with this guy it’s like one step forward and 10 steps back. Also jungkook got MAD, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry towards her before. Should I say justified? Eeh I mean he never expressed how he actually felt regarding the Seojoon thing so for him to explode at some point was to be expected. I mean he got mad like at the beginning when the whole Lasagna Gate happened in her apartment but I don’t know, it hits different now.

Also, dr Kim I have a crush on you and the emotional stability you provide. You’re doing god’s work, truly. Even if you make me feel bad for defending Sasha because the rational side of me knows how there is no right or wrong in *most* situations here and everything is on a spectrum buuuut my irrational side is like fuck everything hug Sasha. A week ago we were talking about this in my group chat and I said “I think I empathize this much with her because we share some toxic traits so I try to find justification in her” and my friends (including 🌚) said “you think we’d let you to all the self sabotaging shit Sasha does? Don’t you dare, ESPECIALLY if you’re hooking up with Jeon Jungkook. You’re our key to become millionaires and you think we’d let that go to waste??” So loving and caring, my friends.

By the way I loove the discord channel, that was a great idea. I just need to figure out the time zones so i can text when everyone is awake😵‍💫

🌸

NOooooooooooo! I am so sorry! You have so many terrible things going on at once! I'm so sorry for your lost most of all; hopefully you'll be over the worst of covid soon. 💟💟💟

I hope the Flux drama a mental and emotional distraction when you needed it! Get wrapped up in their drama but rest in your own life 😢

I don't see why you would nee to feel bad about defending Sasha, though! Do you mean overall or in this specific instance?

It's been interesting reading commetns because I think we're all just so primed to be like "ok who was most right" in any situation we read, but I intentionally write really gnarled ones where there isn't usually some villain with an evil plan lol. I think too we were all so excited for Jungkook to finally speak up about some things we know he's been holding onto that we've forgotten he made that choice to not speak up about them in the first place and that doesn't excuse his behavior, even if it explains it. He can't hide his feelings and then when it's a convenient defense, finally let them erupt! Even if that's very human to do haha. Like if my kid kicks his brother, he can't just tell me "but he kicked me first" and I say oh ok, you're good to go then. Or even "he called me a poop head three days ago," "ah, got it baby, take him down then." 🤣

As much as we may want a partner to read our mind and notice when we are hurt, it's not fair to expect that and we need to communicate those things if we expect change. Now there are things they've argued about before that might still be happening, so I'm not saying this is just a wash in Sasha's direction either! That's why I had suggested in some other asks, it's really probably best to take things one at a time rather than trying to balance out some grand summation --not just because there are things on both sides, but because even though the context and cause behind things may be cumalitive, that doesn't mean the resulting actions were the mature/right ones. The mature relationship skill isn't to hold onto those things until you've hurt your partner and then whip them all out to deflect. I don't know that he was consciously doing that, but it's not that different actually than what everyone was mad at Namjoon doing. "Forget about X, she did Y so she's not allowed to be mad about Z."

Anywayyyy this is fun and tangled and I suspect mrelationship conselors would be salivating over this scenario LOL. But I'm glad you have friends who are looking out for you and your relationship with JK, even if it's so they can piggyback on your wealth 😂

I hope you get to feeling better soon and my best warm vibes go out to your family, I hope that isn't lessened by the goofy fic talk in the iddle of this ask.

#🌸anon #flux #asks

[ask-barbie]

Hi, looking for advice. For years, I have unwillingly been shoehorned into a "therapist friend" role for someone who used to be my best friend. We've had a long history and been through a lot together, getting each other through the hardest times and creating a lot of fun memories. But over time the reciprocation slowly waned. For example, I've stayed up for hours many nights comforting them, but when I came to them looking for support or even just to talk, the conversation would very quickly turn to themselves or their interests; if I ask them how their day went, the question is never returned, and on the rare occasions they approach be with a "how are you" it's because they just want to vent to me. It's gotten to the point where I've stopped divulging anything to them - good or bad - because I'm tired of being ignored or talked over, and they never ask me about my life anymore. I've brought up my feelings to them many times, and they always promised to do better in the future, but still the only time they want to talk to me is to use me as a sounding board. I can't even encourage them to talk to a therapist because they already have one! I recognize that this is codependent and terribly unhealthy, but the main thing keeping me from parting ways besides our history is the fact that I am genuinely their only friend. I don't want to leave them high and dry, but I also have been unsuccessful in setting boundaries with them multiple times. Do you have any advice?

Hello!

I need to do better with the quick responses, I’m sorry!

Thank you for reaching out, you sound like a kind and caring person and sometimes people take advantage of that kindness and don’t reciprocate. I’m sorry this is happening about a close friend of yours, I’ve actually been there. You feel a responsibility to be there for them no matter what and feel guilty if you don’t want to play that role anymore. But being their only friend doesn’t mean you should hold onto that responsibility. People need to be able to grow and become independent and putting some space may let them get there and will also give you the space to let yourself grow as well. It’s very good that you have tried to set boundaries so I’m proud of you; but if someone has no self awareness, even conversations pointing out what is wrong may not cause them to change. So if they are still not showing that they understand your feelings and are going to be considerate and kind back to you, you definitely have to put yourself first. I love the quote “don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” You have been there for them so much and it may be time to take a break. You don’t necessarily have to sever ties, but you have to be true to yourself and take care of you first. If someone is draining your energy, how will you take care of you? Be a little less available and maybe they will realize something is off and gain some self awareness so things can change. You deserve to feel appreciated and not just there for convenience. If you leave a little distance, they may also find someone else to pawn their vents and problems to as well. It’s difficult when you’ve known them a long time and those memories will always be there but knowing what you deserve is so important- a friendship should not be one sided. I hope that helped and I hope you find people who will reciprocate your thoughtfulness and kindness 💓

[katnissimabottom]

her.

a/n: vent post??? wrote a pov story about me and my old crush but with different character names than irl. abt deluding urself abt him liking you when he was chasing after someone else the whole time. includes entries from my real diary ;-; i feel like many other teens can relate so yeah im posting this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

His pov:

I was running through the rain on my way home from school. As soon as I turned the corner, I saw a girl. A girl sitting on a bench overlooking the soaking beach. I was cold and wet, but my curiosity took over this time. I approached her, realizing who it was. "What is Trinity doing here?" I thought. I wondered how she was.

Her pov:

"Are you okay?" he asked me. Why would he check on me? I was doing fine on my own. 

I cloud my mind with delusions and hope. I need to stop doing that. He doesn't like me. 

I moved some of my drenched hair from my face and gave my warmest smile and nod. Likely convincing enough. I turned to face the beach again. 

He started, "May I sit?"

"Of course." I started using my sleeve to wipe the water from the seat next to me. 

"Do you like the rain?" he asked, making conversation. 

"Yes."

Ugh, hope again.

"What do you like about it?" 

"It's peaceful." My voice remained monotonous. "One would rather be alone than lonely, right?"

"Yes."

Lies. The rain made me feel both.

His pov:

"It's so beautiful," she whispered.

"It is beautiful."

I hate the rain, but I wasn't lying when I called it beautiful. There was a certain aspect of the moment. I imagine that Trinity is Marie, then I feel all the more better. That's what Trinity wants anyway. I'll let her down slowly.

Her pov:

"Well, I'd better get going," he stood up, patting the dampness from his clothing. He was breathtaking in the rain.

I shot a smile, traces of grief lingering at the corners of my mouth. I seriously wanted him to know the pain that he caused me, but I didn't want it to be obvious. I didn't want to tell him. I wanted it to have been some epiphany. I was a spiteful person, I'd admit. I wanted him to feel bad despite my love and adoration for the boy. If he wanted me he could have gotten me. At least that was obvious enough. 

Her Diary:

Friday, May 26, 2023

I’m really fucking miserable with my situation and I hate it. I just hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I’ve done enough. I’ve sent him a valentine, and I’ve pretty much confessed to him. The last thing I needed - on the day of our sleepover, too - was for Crystal to have asked him if he liked me. Even worse, in front of me. I practically kill myself for him. I’m late to school most mornings because I spend so much time trying to look good for him, only to go to school and see him clinging to another girl. I just really fucking miss how we were for this brief period of time. Before Talia and Marie, before he was “taken over.” It all started in science, when he turned around and quizzed me on my own shirt.

I’ve changed a lot. I'm more awkward around him now because I didn’t use to have a crush on him. I wish I would’ve struck before Marie came along because she’s so flawless and I have no chance with her around. Anyways, I love him so fucking much and he knows it, so why hasn’t he like.... yk.

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

It’s hard when the source of your pain is also the thing you love most. Like, I’ve been rlly sick yesterday and today and he saw how tired and miserable I was today. He knows that it was bad enough that I went home early. He never talked to me, but I guess it’s selfish of me to ask that of him. My fist balled up when Marie stood in the end of math class and said, “I’ll wait for you.” Or how they both smile when they get shipped. How long will it take him to choose me? Is he truly too young? Or does he feel stuck? Or can he rlly just not be able to choose between us? Or does he not like me but “agreed” under pressure. 

He has my phone number, and he could have just checked in with me. What I said to him, through text when I confessed, I said that I rlly wish we were closer but that there wasn’t rlly anything we could do abt it. He said that he agreed, but then why doesn’t he ever text first? I get that he’s shy or likes to take it slow or wtv, but I’ve made it obvious that I like him. I’ve already experienced enough shame, so if he actually agrees, he has nothing to lose. If he wanted to break my heart he could, but I don’t think he wants to. I have this gut feeling that he likes me, anyway. But what he doesn’t realize is that my impatience and jealously is slowly breaking my heart as well as a true heartbreak would.

My mom and friends always say, “Well if he can’t see that you are better than her, he’s not worth it.” I try to have that mentality, but I don’t think they know how deep this is. I’ve never felt this much for someone. I want to marry him. He’s all I care about. Simp, I know. But it hurts when people call me that. Even friends like Kate who seems to care a lot about their crush still have hobbies. My only hobbies are snapchat and video games. It rlly sucks. If I could turn my attachment level down a notch I would, but I’m afraid that if I let go, all the things I’ve done to make him know I like him would just be meaningless embarrassments. So I feel like I need to be attached. However, this summer, I’m don’t think I’m ever gonna see him so that will give me a chance to try and look good for myself, and not some boy. Hopefully it works...

Sunday, October 15, 2023

Ultimately, he chose her. Exactly one month ago today, I got the news. “Dustin is dating Marie.” Him, dating her. I got it from Crystal. Could’ve been a lie. I doubted she was lying. But other people seemed to have known. I sighed at the realization. I smiled, feeling a strange sense of relief if not pain. 

I could never help but love you. You always gave me the impression that you liked me, and no matter how much you tried to hint it wasn’t true, I clouded my mind with delusions and hope and the thought that love finds a way. I like to associate my life with songs I like. Unfortunately, at that, I’m starting to realize that my experience with you that week was much like washing machine heart; at the time I would have thought it as national anthem.

"It's not a struggle, it's an inconvenience. Stop complaining. Struggles are challenges you face against your will. This is just something you lack," I tell myself. 

Every time I bought makeup, clothing, I thought about that brief moment you’d look at me. I was so happy that my hair has been tame lately, because maybe, just maybe you would notice, and think “Oh, she looks pretty.” I’ve done so much, and until recently, I’ve been planning what I’d say for Valentines Day. The song video games makes me feel a certain way and I feel like putting it into a playlist and listening to it, feeling happy. But the true reason why I love the song is out of my reach. I know I acted too obsessed, but I hoped that it would have at least gotten me somewhere. You’ve taken the love I’ve given, and given it to her, the easy choice. The choice without controversy. You don’t know that all those times I listened to those pretty love songs, I’ve thought of you. My idea of my future worked around yours. Though after all, you chose the girl I’ve always wanted to be. The perfect girl. The girl who was always a step ahead; and I can’t blame you.

And no matter how much I thought you like me in our moments, she was, inevitably, always a step ahead.

#hurt #no comfort #angst #teen #pain #delusion #the other woman #sadness #love #pov #konansfavoritewife #tumblr