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#I love that TMA only has 199 episodes
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I finally finished The Magnus Archives. How the fuck am I supposed to recover from that?!?
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pocketsizedquasar · 3 years
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it’s been a bit now so. misc 200/end of mag in general thoughts? under a cut because this is a bit long, and i will preface this to say that i mostly enjoyed the episode but this is going to be mostly my criticisms, bc i feel like the good parts have already been well covered by people other than me. so yeah just a warning this is mostly crit
- it’s Still very hard for me to parse how i feel about this episode, but i think after sitting on it for a bit, i’ve come to the general conclusion that i am very satisfied plot-wise (in terms of tragedy/the structure of tragedies, the open-endedness of our ending, the general Writing TM), but not so much satisfied character-wise (in terms of arc and relationship resolution). I think we deserved more resolution on wtgfs -- i wanted more with them! more with melanie and jon; more with the melanie and georgie and basira’s side of the plan. more than that really small tidbit that we got at the end! and... honestly? a little bit more emphasis on the weight of Jon actually dooming other worlds in the end, and what that means for Jon and for wtgfs/basira. Especially with the context of the consequences re: the Web...won. no caveats or complications, the Web got. Exactly what it wanted.
- on that note,  From a uh. Critique against capitalism standpoint I’m not sure how I feel about the ending? And I don’t really want to. Read too much into what isn’t there? But I mean mag has long been a pretty explicit anticapitalist narrative so...? Yeah, I’m not a big fan of the implications of WTGFs and basira basically just being treated as narratively right in terms of letting the eldritch evil stand-in for capitalism have whatever it wanted and feeding it and doing exactly what it asked them to do. and having Little consequence as a result of that. Obviously they’ll still face loads of hardship, but that comes from the apocalypse, not from, like,.,, doing the direct bidding of the Capitalist Monster/System/etc to be clear, i’m not like...mad they made the “wrong” decision; there was no wrong or right decision here. but I am a little upset that for all they spent 199 discussing the various consequences of each choice, we got to see very little of that actual consequence playing out...none of the survivors seem to really be carrying the guilt or even the full understanding of what they did, because they never saw the suffering they could create as anything more than a hypothetical. i feel like we could have spent just a bit more time with them dealing with that. a bit more time even with jon dealing with that, a bit more time spent on jon changing his mind. other people have said as much better than me but. yeah
- i feel like there was a lot of character stuff brought up in s5 and especially act iii that i would’ve loved to have seen more resolution of. why have that whole thing about Georgie telling jon to give melanie his last words himself, if Jon was going to come back but then never bring that up again (full disclosure this is smthn that @pronouncingitwang​ brought up!)? Why have Jon say he was “going to go  apologize to [his] boyfriend”/Jon tell Martin multiple times that they were going to talk about their fight “later” and then not have that happen on screen? Why did we have two whole episodes of cultist interactions if they were just going to be removed off screen? Why have martin’s “I’ll get jon to destroy me like the others” decision if that doesn’t really come up? what about salesa!! why tell us melanie hating jon is a projection of her self hatred and then not bring that up again? why give annabelle all those juicy interactions with martin and then turn her into a monster when jon shows up, why give her so much character and backstory and then so thoroughly remove her agency? why have all these really cool parallels between jon and annabelle if annabelle is just going to be this monstrous and agency-less plot device with no follow-up? what happened to her!
- on that note...annabelle. They... really took this character who is a Black woman and who had so many parallels to Jon and who they could’ve like. very easily Actually made into a protagonist of color (because we only got one!! and she’s a cop!!!!) (or if not protagonist, at least smthn more sympathetic), (which wouldn’t have negated previous racial problems w tma, but would’ve shown growth from them) and made her a scary monster who just Serves her capitalist entity overlord without personal agency and then bows out when she’s no longer needed...you can have whatever diagetic/watsonian explanations you want for how 197 went, like sure she was just ~being dramatic~ and putting on a show for jon, but all that is still something the writers Decided to do in the real world, and the racial implications of her character arc are just. not great. and her character had So much more narrative potential. idk i will forever be salty about annabelle
- i Still Don’t Like the web being sentient!! i said this after 197 and i’m sayin it again! i think it makes it less frightening and less interesting! with the End being aware of its own, well, end, I actually thought that worked, and i really liked the corpse routes ep, but for some reason I didn’t with the Web? which seems hypocritical of me, I know, but, look: The embodiment of the fear of dying being aware of and welcoming its own dying emphasizes the inevitability and the truth of that fear. Which is why it works for the End. It’s still not recognizably /human/, because it is inexorable and certain, in a way nothing human can be. So its awareness of its own end DOESNT feel like flattening the worldbuilding. And using my own logic, I guess sure you could say the embodiment of the fear of manipulation and schemes being capable of scheming does the same thing but it. It rly doesn’t feel the same to me? Bc that’s rly a fear borne of human sentience & behavior. and so to give it that sentience makes it feel more human, and less interesting within the context of the horror. this is definitely just a personal taste thing as far as how i like horror and eldritch deities and such but yeah.
- i liked the statement a lot like, as a little self contained story? it was really nice to have jon give us one last story before the end. I thought that was sweet and i liked how the statement was written! on the same note though, i could’ve also gone without knowing like. the entire cosmology of how the fears came into being. again, just a personal thing, i don’t like my horror to be known, even at the end of it all when it doesn’t matter what we’re still scared of anymore. I just. I want my fears to be frightening and beyond comprehension and unknowable. it just leads me to have more questions than i really need at the Final episode? i would love to keep the jon giving us one final statement thing, and you know what? i would've loved: statement of the archivist, regarding jonathan sims. no idea what you’d do with that but it sounds cool in my head.
- very minor and very specific-to-me thing but i Don’t Like that basira got to be the Last Words...sorry y’all I just don’t like basira i can’t get behind trying to make me feel sympathetic for a cop who stood by and let people get murdered by the state for years and only felt bad about it bc fearpocalypse i just can’t. i don’t like her never have never will and also melanie and georgie are right there why didn’t they get to have the last words it would have been so much better ... why not have the person who loved jon and Knew very deeply his tendency to self-sacrifice say something or why not the person who is in-canon very similar to Jon and self-admittedly projecting her self hatred onto him say some sort of her own attempt at peace why not either of these two ahhhh
- i uhhhh. really liked jon killing jonah. jon for once getting to be angry for himself. that felt really nice. no ceaseless watcher nonsense either, just him and a knife and beating the shit out of this guy who even now continues to underestimate and belittle him. and i liked jon doing what he did in general -- i actually changed my mind on this; i really didn’t like it at first but i do now. i’m sad that it came at the expense of his promise to martin, but it makes sense and...i don’t want to say jon was right, because i again don’t think any of the decisions were right per se, but in terms of like... not doing what the “elder fear deity who wants to feed on fear and pain for literal eternity” wanted... yeah. i get it. he would never have been able to go along with that willingly. and he really shouldn’t have been, considering all that he went through being a puppet for said elder fear deity. and from a tragedy standpoint too, i actually think it’s a really really well written end for him. considering how my favorite tragedies are structured and how the way out has to be presented to us, but the tragic hero Ultimately will always fall back on their faults, yeah, this makes a lot of sense. hamlet is granted a way out and he doesn’t take it; he always always hesitates. captain ahab is granted the chance to turn and leave his chase and love instead, and he doesn’t take it. orpheus turns around. etc etc. I think it was also really lovely that jon got a twist on that, that in the end he did change, for just a moment, and chose love instead. even in the face of all the horror that that might mean. i really like that he and martin are together, wherever or however they are. that martin is allowed to feel (rightly) furious and betrayed and still so, so unconditionally in love. 
idk i have more thoughts probably but again they’re very hard to parse and mostly just getting into the super specific realm which i don’t think is particularly helpful
i have a lot of feelings for jon and martin and their ending i think it was the best possible ending we could’ve gotten for those two and i Am really. I just have a lot of feelings.
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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some thoughts on mag 200
i’ve been having trouble articulating this, but i wanted to get some thoughts down on mag 200, and the ending of tma as a whole, now that i’ve heard the finale twice and had some time to process it all. putting this under a cut in case people don’t wanna see it -- there’s gonna be a lot of praise here, but also some legit criticism. this is a way to sort through my feelings more than anything else.
first off, relistening to the finale, and sitting on it for a while, has made me feel a hell of a lot better about the whole thing. the episode comes off a lot better when you’re not vibrating with fear and anticipation, in my opinion. the final statement was very fitting and cool -- not my favorite ever, but i can appreciate it a lot as a final closing for the fears. and i don’t have an ear for soundscaping but the sound in that statement was cool as hell. the jonah magnus gets fucking murdered scene is incredibly satisfying. a lot of other people have said this, but i love that jon finally got his revenge, and was able to lash out against jonah for all the years of manipulation and beng used, and for tim and sasha and everything else. that was perfect. i genuinely thought we might not get a scene like this after 193 but i am so glad we did. incredibly satisfying. the girls made it out!! i am very glad that they’re ok and moving on and seem to be leaning on each other. (By God I Will Wring Found Family Out Of This Podcast If It Kills Me.) and the admiral’s okay. love that
and the jonmartin ending. oh my god. while i was never the biggest fan of the possibility of martin having to kill jon, the way it went down was so painful and good. i loved that final scene. i love the ambiguity -- that they might have died but maybe they didn’t, maybe they’re all right and happy and we can decide for ourselves -- i love that i got exactly what i wanted, that i get to have my cake and eat it too, all the angst of a jmart death and still the possibility of happiness... i am going buckwild. i love it. the longer i spend with this ending, the happier i am with it. i really really loved it
on another note... i do have some reservations about the finale and the season as a whole. i understand peoples’ irritations with the finale, and while i’m trying to focus on the things i did like, i definitely have some irritations. for one, i definitely wish the finale had been longer. i would’ve loved to see more of what wtgfs and basira were doing, and the actual lighting of the archives, etc. and while i completely understand why the scene at the panopticon went as quickly as it did -- it comes off very much as wild, frantic impulse in the heat of the moment where they’re in danger and trying to protect each other -- i do wish it had gone a little slower. 
in my mind, the biggest issue in season 5 ended up being pacing. and this might be a personal preference thing -- there’s a lot of things within the show that i don’t personally vibe with, but i don’t necessarily think they’re badly written. but i do think season 5 was slow. and while slow things can certainly work in a certain context (season 4 comes off wildly slow til you listen to 160), i wish more of what actually happened in season 5 had been baked into the end game. the season felt like it had a lot of filler, which drives me mildly crazy, because the end game feels rushed and i don’t think it NEEDED to be. i liked a lot of what season 5 did -- there’s some impeccable episodes, the character interactions are weirdly lighter and softer than they have been in previous seasons, and i wouldn’t trade a lot of the things that it’s given us (all the jonmartin interactions, jon and georgie briefly rebuilding their friendship, martin and melanie friendship, wtgfs scenes and intimacy, backstory, lore, etc) for anything. but i do think it could’ve been structured and paced a little differently. i also think it could’ve given some more screentime to the character stuff we got from episodes like 161, 170, 186, 190, 191, 192, 199... i absolutely love both martin centric monologue episodes, but i hate that we didn’t get anything like that for jon. (or for melanie or georgie or basira...) the best episodes of the season, imo, are the ones that broke from traditional form of domain statement domain, and the ones that focused in hard on backstory, lore, character introspection, character interaction... i wish we had more of this. 
when it comes to the jonmartin arc... i know this has been a point of contention with a lot of people, but i don’t hate it at all. maybe it’s just because i relistened to the majority of the season back in january, but a lot of the more grating moments that seemed large week to week (martin pressuring jon to smite people, the disagreements they had earlier in the season, jon using martin as bait in 176, etc etc) come off a lot more minor when you’re binging. personally, relistening to act i made those interactions come off as things they were struggling with through continued support and reassurance. there were absolutely things i wanted addressed, especially with the “kill bill arc” -- the disagreements early in the season, and how it seemed to turn on its head in the argument they have in 194. (i didn’t like martin blaming jon for the kill bill arc and i was hoping it would get brought up.) i also wanted to see a discussion of martin going with annabelle in 194 -- i wasn’t really ever mad at martin for doing it, but i did want to see them talk it out. 
but! after relistening to 200, i think i have a better handle on why that couldn’t have happened. martin goes behind jon’s back to go with annabelle and they don’t talk about it; jon goes behind martin’s back to sabotage the plan everyone agrees on in order to prevent the fears from spreading. if they’d had a big talk about trust, and working through martin going off with annabelle, and then jon turned around and did the same thing, more or less... it would’ve completely soured that discussion. jon and martin needed to be in a place of discourse for this ending to work. 
honestly, the more i’ve thought about this final JM arc, the better i feel about it. sure, jon and martin are in a bad place, and they’ve gone behind each other’s backs and been somewhat selfish, but i don’t think this ruins their relationship. for one, martin’s break in trust comes from a place of wanting to save jon and the world. and for another, jon genuinely feels he is doing the right thing, making a decision he can live with. (i have my own opinions as to how ethical jon’s decision was, but that’s another post. and i think the muddy ethics of this ending are on purpose -- it’s horror, a genre that often doesn’t offer ethical decisions.) their final decisions and final moments come from a place of love and protectiveness, and they change their decisions for the other. they still love each other, through all of it. i don’t think these late stage betrayals equivalate jonmartin necessarily being doomed as a couple (not that anyone has said that, but it’s worth saying). and i think it’s important to remember that this is still a relatively new relationship. it existed for approximately three weeks before the literal apocalypse, and it’s been under an immense amount of stress, as well as the constant fear that one or both of them would die. (which they did.) i’m not saying that excuses certain things they’ve said or done, but i am saying i don’t think the relationship is doomed. i think, if jon and martin have survived, they’ll need to work through things. they’ll need to talk it all out. and they’ll be able to! they’ll heal from this one way or another. the tragedy isn’t that jonmartin is doomed, or toxic. it’s that these moments of betrayal are what dooms them. and the beautiful undercurrent of it all is that they still manage to come together, and make decisions that mean they stay together. and that wherever they are, they’re still together. 
all in all, i don’t think season 5 has been perfect, and i can make my peace with that. (tma’s worst is a hell of a lot better than most shows’ best.) (i also think it might be worth considering how covid could have affected certain aspects of how the season was written -- pandemics are stressful, and i can’t imagine what it’s like to finish an enormous, in the works for years project like this in the middle of that. personally, i’m impressed they’ve managed to finish the show through all of this and keep it to a similar quality.) i think critiques are valuable and worth discussing. and i think plot aspects aside, there are several other critique related things that could be brought up about this season that people have articulated much better than i ever could. but i also, personally, want to walk away from the show feeling satisfied. i tend to be weirdly positive about things i love (the x files finale was horrendous, but i managed to get to a place where i was happy with it, for example), and i think that applies here -- even more so because i really did love so many aspects of that finale. i don’t necessarily want to linger in my own mind over what i disliked, especially considering the show is over. although i did want to air out my thoughts. 
i still love this show. i loved a lot of episodes this season, frustrations aside. season 5 will forever be my only live tma experience, and it got me through one of the worst years of my life, and i am very grateful for this. i genuinely did just want to air out my thoughts and get them all down on paper. these are just my opinions -- i don’t want to criticize anyone who feels differently about the finale, or the season as a whole. everyone’s opinion is their own. 
i feel a lot, lot better about mag 200, to the point of genuinely loving it. i hope my appreciation only grows as i get further from that frenzied first day and have more time to sit with it. and i can’t wait to see all the art and read all of the amazing fics that are going to come out of this ending (and write some of my own). it’s been a wild ride. i’m glad i was here for it.
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I posted 1,033 times in 2021
161 posts created (16%)
872 posts reblogged (84%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 5.4 posts.
I added 1,578 tags in 2021
#rqg - 431 posts
#rqg spoilers - 201 posts
#rqgaming - 199 posts
#rqg art - 185 posts
#rusty quill gaming - 178 posts
#my art - 118 posts
#rqg fanart - 84 posts
#zolf smith - 68 posts
#tma - 57 posts
#self reblog - 57 posts
Longest Tag: 132 characters
#and she had to pick up the pieces of a mess he made because he couldn’t back down from a fight that was clearly stacked against them
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Helen’s rendition of Zolf’s sea shanty, performed during her first baking stream for RQ (a fairly long while ago, but I’ve only just watched the VOD and my love for Helen grows stronger every day). 
300 notes • Posted 2021-01-12 04:23:06 GMT
#4
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There’s always hope.
317 notes • Posted 2021-08-05 04:16:50 GMT
#3
Every instance of the “loads of hitpoints” joke up until episode 188, so be warned, there are spoilers. Some fun stats I thought were interesting:
We associate this Joke with Zolf, but it actually started with Grizzop (the first three are him)
The largest concentration for a single episode was in 139 (five), with the total for the time spent underneath the institute going up to twelve
In second place is episode 187 (three), with the total for the Garden of Yerlick as a whole being nine
The joke has been made by people other than Ben a total of sixteen times
Compared to twenty nine from Ben himself
This compilation is going to be out of date soon because they won’t stop making the joke (and we wouldn’t want it any other way)
327 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 04:16:31 GMT
#2
Thinking about how Zolf letting go of his glaive feels like an act of faith, in the same way that throwing away his trident felt like a rejection of it. Tossing the glaive away now feels like hope for the future, or acceptance of whatever comes next.
This is quite literally the last stand. He’s holding the most precious thing in the world in his arms, and to do that he has to let go of his weapon and trust that he and his friends will be enough on their own. And once this is over, he will no longer have to be the warrior, the protector, the person who sets his glaive alight and grits his teeth and plants his feet against the entire world.
Zolf lets the glaive go, because if this plan works, he won’t need it anymore.
He lets the glaive go, because if the plan fails? He won’t need it anymore.
When Zolf lets go of his glaive, he finally releases the weight he’s been carrying. The glaive slides from his fingers, and with it goes the staggering responsibility. All he has to do now is hold on to the Babbage array and hope. This is it. This is all there is. He lets the glaive fall, but he’s holding tight to what comes next.
No matter how it ends, Zolf won’t have to fight anymore. He can finally let go.
349 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 17:16:18 GMT
#1
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This is so weird.
642 notes • Posted 2021-09-27 09:11:31 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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bracefacefreak · 3 years
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So, I'm sure no one will read this, but after listening to MAG 199 I just have to put this out into the world. So here goes.....
The Magnus Archives has been a literal godsend for me. 
And I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic because the shows ending. I honestly mean this from the bottom of my heart. 
I only got into TMA recently, like really recently, at the end of January  2021 in fact.  At that time, I was the most depressed I have EVER been. I could barely leave my bed, was hardly eating and barely drinking. I was suicidal and spent more than a couple of nights with a ligature around my neck trying to get it to work. I reached out for help, but with covid this was slow. All this meant I was spending at least 70% of my day in bed, staring at the ceiling, alone and in silence. I didn’t have the concentration of energy to read and nothing on Netflix could hold my attention for more than 10 minutes. I did some colouring for about a week but soon became bored of that too.  
It was then that I read somewhere that podcasts might be helpful. I was a bit sceptical but I thought at least it would fill some of silence of the day. even if I didn’t end up really listening to them. And so I went on a search to find something. It was then that I stumbled across TMA and that was it, I was hooked. I listened to every episode over the next few weeks.  I fell in love with the characters, the acting, the storyline; I began to listen to my favourite episodes again and the more I listened the more I loved it. I felt seen in the depictions of the Lonely and Martin’s experience with it, I felt seen in Jon’s guilt and self-hatred, I wished I could be angry and fight like Melanie,  I dreamed of love like I saw reflected in the show. I fell in love with the characters, the acting, the storyline; I began to listen to my favourite episodes again and the more I listened the more I loved it. I felt seen in the depictions of the Lonely and Martin’s experience with it, I felt seen in Jon’s guilt and self-hatred, I wished I could be angry and fight like Melanie,  I dreamed of love like I saw reflected in the show.  It gave my brain something to focus on other than my spiralling self-hatred and desire to just end it all. I found it especially helpful at night, which was when the suicidal thoughts were always worse and I would listen to them as I tried to get to sleep. 
Waiting for each weekly release became the one thing in my week I looked forward to, which sounds lame I know, but when you’re in that space, feeling you have nothing and no one, anything that helps you feel something other than numbness or sorrow is amazing and something to hold on to. 
Slowly, I began to look into the fandom and found so much beauty: beautiful art and fic, ridiculous crack and thoughtful hcs.  As I trawled through tumblr, often late at night when my brain wouldn’t stop screaming at me, I saw so much devotion and humour and what I saw made me smile, actually smile. And again I know that seems really lame, but it’s the truth. 
So yes, TMA has been a life-saver for me, both figuratively and perhaps literally although it’s hard to say for sure. I am deeply upset that the show is ending but I am also so very grateful that I found it when I did. TMA bought provided me with light when I was in a very very dark place. TMA made me laugh when nothing else could and it made me feel emotion when most other things just left me feeling numb and hollow. It gave me something to look forward to, to cling to. It reminded be that next week would come, even though some days it felt like I would never see tomorrow. I know it’s sounds trite and overly-emotional, but TMA has helped me in ways no horror-tragedy podcast should be able to and certainly more than I could have ever imagined. It wouldn’t go as far as to say it was the only thing that helped me to stay alive over the last months but it certainly has had a key  role. I will forever be grateful for that and regard the podcast with much love. So, as TMA draws to a close, I want to say thank you. Thank you TMA, thank you Rusty Quill, thank you all you creators and everyone who helped to me to keep my head above water when I felt that I was drowning. I couldn’t have done it without you. 
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fakecrfan · 3 years
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Thank you for doing that analysis of who was talking during 199 because I was seeing all these takes and I felt like I must’ve listened to a different episode. Jon is my favorite character but some people are reaching a bit.
Oh, thank you ♥  That’s good to hear.
I think it’s important to remember that everyone experiences media (and life in general?) with a filter. Or many filters. So if you reeeeaaaally love Jon, and you’re mostly listening to TMA because you’re invested in him: that can be a filter. Other characters and the world at large, then everything that doesn’t relate to him sort of can get filtered away.
With that kind of filter on for a scene like the MAG 199 argument, the only thing that will register is that Jon Is Upset, and also Other People Are Arguing With Him. From there (and with the knowledge that they have been mean to Jon in the past) it’s easy to jump to the “they are doing something bad to him” conclusion before other key details (the situation, how much power Jon actually has to act, how much everyone actually talks, the emotions of people besides him) have a chance to register.
Not that that’s even bad! I support anyone whose stance on listening to TMA is “I want to roll around in my feelings for Poor Jon.” But then, I--as someone who loves Jon but also all of the other characters--also get to share my perspective or do an analysis :D.
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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bracefacefreak · 3 years
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TMA 200 - initial reaction-SPOILERS
Ok. So I’m definitely still processing TMA 200 and I will need to listen to it a bunch more times, but I just wanna say I kinda loved it.
I’ve had a quick peek at some of the tags and I can see that the reception seems to be a bit mixed or at least undecided. 
But I’m gonna throw in my lot, or at least how I feel after an initial listen and some rudimentary processing because why the hell not! 
Tbh although the ending was perhaps a bit predictable I don’t see that as a problem. If anything it shows consistent writing and  I’m just really freaking glad that we didn’t get some bullshit twist at the end that made no sense, just so Jonny could be proud that no-one guessed where it was going. Guys, we’ve listened to 199 episodes at this point, of course we should have some idea how it’s gonna end! If things are totally out of the blue then it probably means we’ve been bullshitted somewhere about something. 
And the goddamn ending. The girls surviving. Seeing the world return to normal but with people still clearly being aware of what happened to them, at least if the Simon Fairchild comment was anything to go by. I like the implications of this, that there will still be a lot of healing to be done but that it’s all right. And the girls are still friends, and have even adopted Rosie into their little survivors group. That made me smile. Plus the Admiral is ok, which is by far the most important thing. 
And I know that some people will really struggle with and dislike the ambiguity, and that’s totally fair and I totally understand. For me, it isn’t a bother. To me it means that the story is allowed to continue and personally I think that is such a wonderful gift to have been given by the creators of the show. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like they trust and respect the fans to create a multitude of new things from it. That’s so rare and even if that’s not the case, that is the meaning I will take from it until I’m told otherwise. 
And finally, got to talk about the jmart. I just feel so sucker-punched by the love between them. Now be prepared to endure my incoherent rambling about my faves because I’m still processing all that happened. But yeah, Martin really was Jon’s anchor, he was the one thing that was able to bring out Jon’s humanity and to make him vulnerable enough to hand over control, something we know he has always struggled to do. The one thing that could make Jon change his mind about the fate of the fears was Martin, and considering he’d just snuck off to kill Jonah on his own and was determined not to let the fears out. And not only that, but Jon trusted him with that control, trusted him to end it all and go against his original plan. And then the way Jon tried to encourage him by saying they might survive, but no matter what they would be together. And Martin agreeing to do the one thing he thought he could never do if it meant that they would be together and because it was what Jon asked and Jon trusted him even though he couldn’t know what the end would be. These boys just killed me, it was heart-breaking and beautiful and so very them and now I hope they are off taking a well-deserved break in another world somewhere before they go off to kick some more fear-butt. 
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