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#I like to think this is how he tries to gauge if the interest is mutual lol
tow-bees · 3 months
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I'm sure this has been done before but it's the only thing I could think about as soon as I found out this was a ship lmao
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eriyuan · 8 days
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i am having thoughts about jing yuan pampering you a LOT. you can complain but he won't stop. he knows it all too well that he's living a mundane life after all these centuries but when you came into his life, you're the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
the feelings he never thought he'd feel again, you make him feel without you even knowing. bliss, excitement, adoration, yearning, love. so he thinks it's just right for him to pamper you!
“what does this do..?” or something like "oh, this makes me look cute!" and jing yuan automatically knew that you found something interesting. he observed you first, his golden eyes peering to see how you would gauge with the item.
he tries to make it subtle when he finds someone to inquire about the thing you were holding but the way you are so immersed in trying it he doesn't even need to do so. the moment he sees you smile and the sparkle in your eyes, he’s immediately purchasing whatever that is.
and when you try to stop him, he's gonna make it a competition. who's gonna be faster, is it his hands in paying or your hands stopping his wrist from doing anything?
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fragileheartbeats · 9 days
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⌗ 𝘈𝘝𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘜𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘌 𝘏𝘊 ⁝ 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘥 ( ♥︎ )
˚꒰♡꒱‧ Hi there! Before you read this, you should know that English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
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He would be incredibly sweet and gentle. A switch. He's a service dom and sub, and it would take time for him to reach that point of vulnerability, but if he trusted and loved you enough, he would let you in.
He's not very experienced, but he's a fast learner and eager to please, so I don't think there would be any problems. He's very soft-spoken, and you should be gentle with him as well. He's not into BDSM or slave play, and he's not a masochist. Stop this shit already. He would never do anything that would hurt you or himself.
I can see him being interested in bondage, though. With beautiful and expensive silk, no matter who's the one tied up. He would buy things to make your beauty stand out. He's a worshiper, and he would adore your body. But he also loves it when you worship him in return. He might even get so soft that he cries.
He's always looking into your eyes and face, trying to gauge your pleasure. He also loves your voice; honestly, he could come just by listening to your moans. He tries to keep quiet so he can listen to it.
Once he gets used to it, he opens up more and becomes more rough and bold. I think he would be fine with crossdressing. He would do it confidently, whether it's a maid's dress or a Playboy bunny costume.
He loves to tease you with his words, he's good at dirty talk. But he also wants to be praised. Please tell him he's doing good.
He has an oral fixation and loves to have his mouth on your body. It doesn't matter where—lips, hips, hands, fingers, breasts, or pussy. Anything goes.
Breeding kink goes hard. This man loves to cum inside and he really wants to get you pregnant. He wants to have a family of his own that he can love and be loved by.
The way he do it is intimate and sensual. He takes his time, savoring every moment. He wants to make sure you're enjoying yourself as much as he is. He's very attentive to your needs, and he'll always ask for your consent before doing anything.
He's a true romantic, and he loves to cuddle and spoon after. He'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear and tell you how much he loves you. Being with him is like living in a fairy tale. He makes you feel like the most beautiful and cherished woman in the world.
"You're so beautiful... I can't believe how lucky I am to be with you."
"I just want to hold you close and never let go."
"You mean everything to me... I hope you know that."
"I love you... more than anything in this world."
"Thank you for being here with me... for loving me."
"You drive me crazy... I can't get enough of you."
"I need you... I need this... right now."
"You're mine... all mine. And I'm never letting go."
"I want to lose myself in you... to forget everything but us."
"Don't hold back... show me how much you want this."
"You're so adorable when you blush... it drives me wild."
"I bet I can make you scream my name louder than you ever have before."
"Let's try something new... something adventurous. Are you up for it?"
"I love seeing you like this... so uninhibited, so free."
"You're my favorite game... and I always play to win."
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@ 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒔 . 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡, 𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑠 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠.
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punkpandapatrixk · 5 months
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🌟Blessings to Expect throughout 2024 ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
‘You’re always here. What are you doing?’
‘Nothing…nothing in particular.’
‘You’re Saibara’s grandson, right? Aren’t you working at the Blacksmith shop?’
‘I’m not interested in that. I want to go back to the city.’
‘Oh… I came from the city, too. My dad moved the family to this village because he was going to study plants. I felt lonely at first. But the people here are all very kind.’
‘I don’t feel lonely. But I can’t find what I want to do in this village.’
‘What is it you want that you can’t find here?’
‘Well, it’s…oh, nothing…’
‘My mother always says that if you can’t find what you want to do, then do what you can see to do now. Nobody finds what they want immediately. But if you waste your time every day because of that, you’ll never find anything... To tell you the truth, I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet, either. See you.’
— Mary and Gray’s conversation from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature
SONG: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland
MOVIE: The Wizard of Oz (1939)
[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Welcoming Love, True Love
VIBE: Ready for Your Love (feat. MNEK) by Gorgon City
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end of a struggle – King of Swords
You’ve been incredibly and marvellously responsible for…quite a number of years, I think? For some of you maybe a couple of months or so. But your struggles have ended; nearing ending; or you just haven’t realised yet how everything has changed for the better now. If you take a moment to really notice yourself, I’m sure you can tell just how much clearer you’ve become about many things pertaining to your surrounding and sense of Self. I feel you’ve worked really hard to overcome excessive trauma noises that have caused you a great deal of psychological pain.
Starting this year, you can feel more confident in your intellectual capacity to gauge situations right in front of you. Making choices will be a lot easier now because you’re clear about who you are as a person and what it is you truly want out of your own existence. You’ve clearly set enough boundaries with those who didn’t have your best interest. Seems to me you’ve learnt the hard way to be more selfish in the spirit of self-preservation. And so, the adventure of a lifetime begins right this moment.
In fact, I feel like your entire Life up until this point has been quite the adventure—only it has been filled with sorrow and misery, sorta. Surely it was your Hero’s Journey taking shape for the early chapters of your Life’s Story. A slow burn of a lifetime, if you will. Beginning this year, you’re entering the most exciting part of your rise to glory and everlasting happiness!
in your favour – 8 of Pentacles
You’ve been hustling behind the scenes for the most part. At least, those who aren’t close to you will never know just how much work you’ve put into bettering your world from the inside out. You worked so much on your mindset; you must’ve exercised a lot, too; tried to eat more cleanly and healthily; worked on your glow-up; brushed your skills; etc. You were investing in yourself for the future vision you’ve always held close to your heart. And for that reason, the seeds are now blooming.
You’re making me think of the bamboo plant. Did you know that a bamboo seedling takes around 5-7, maybe even 8-10, years to gestate underground? All alone in the dark without anyone knowing what’s going on down there. And when the seedling shoots up to the surface, the bamboo plant is famous for being the fastest growing plant there ever is.
So yeah~ fast or no fast in your mind, the point is that you’ve done the work on yourself and all the plans you’ve ever had for your Life. This year, 2+0+2+4=8, is the year you reap all the rewards and grow even faster from where you are now. Whatever undertaking you begin this year will gain traction super fast! Pat yourself on the back because when things get super good, you deserve to take a small break and just enjoy how far you’ve come~! Breathe~
catching stars – Page of Wands
Your Story is totally far from finished. With the Page aenergy—a kid’s aenergy—you’re only on the precipice of entering a Life of passion and purpose. You could almost say, it’s a new Story altogether just because this chapter of your Life is SO SO SO super good in comparison to the chapters about your struggles. I guess you’d call this a new arc huehue
You’re young Hercules now. Pretty soon, there will occur some big event that propels you into a bona fide hero, and then, you’ll meet your Megara~ This part of your Story is where you enter a circle of true—at least truer—friends and lovers who will motivate you throughout the next chapters of your Life. Sure, sure, struggles don’t just end, poof, like that and you will continuously need to learn to sift through these new breeds of friends and acquaintances. But that’s also part of your next level growing up, so don’t sweat the possibilities XD
Throughout 2024, you could be moving to a new environment and then meet new friends. Highkey you’re gonna be meeting Soulmates and Soul Fam members; these are the people who resemble you so much either on the inside or outside. These are people who think like you, care about the same things as you; basically you’re gonna finally feel like you truly belong somewhere on this Planet. Love is in the air because you’ve been giving so much Love to yourself before this point. You are Love. You emanate Love wherever you go because you love yourself, and thus you become a magnet for people who also will love you just as good~
APPLE STRUDEL🔻💛
honey lemon juice – Silver Magus (Merlin)
have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Love
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Rising Up to Accept Yourself Wholly
VIBE: She Said from Kamikaze Girls
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end of a struggle – Knight of Cups
You’ve kinda just gone through a death of a paradigm of sort. I feel that in the past, you simply didn’t really know who you were or what you were meant to be. This confusion of an identity was caused by your parents/caretakers not really appreciating you for who you were as a child or it could also be caused by your environment, race, culture, custom, tradition, stuff like that. It wasn’t your fault, you know. You literally grew up on your own and finally got clear about your own identity—you stopped caring if your real identity is too weird, too eccentric for this world.
Basically, you got tired of rejecting yourself. And you realised that you were doing that because you knew others wouldn’t accept you. Then you realised people are shitty and lame for the most part anyway, so you learnt to be OK with embracing all of your weird heart’s little desires. And you nurtured yourself and nurtured yourself until you rose above the lameness of most of Humanity. Did you know? You did the right thing, really. Through and through.
You’re definitely an Advanced Soul. I think even when you were a kid you always felt like there was some spirit/shadow parental figure walking behind you, guiding your thought processes. This older/bigger unseen figure was really just your own Higher Self, you know :D More than others would give you credit for, you’ve been such a good gal/boi for always listening to the guidance of your Higher Self~
in your favour – 3 of Pentacles
Beginning this year, you’re going to finally meet people who are similar to you. Similar as in, you’re going to meet a lot of colourful characters, really. People who also feel somewhat like society’s outcast. These people are going to come from various backgrounds and they will each have very interesting back stories and life experiences that will entertain you for a long time. These people could also have very strange, unusual hobbies that will spark your interest in new, alien pursuits.
With that said, this year could be the year you begin a new passion project of your own, with these people, new friends, you share a vision with. They do care about you and want to succeed together, so you can trust that these connections are going to bear sweet feelings for you. Most importantly, this year you’re going to know the sweet feeling of doing something meaningful with your natural talents born out of your innate interests. When you finally get the money, you will first and foremost taste gratitude from those who seem to love and enjoy what you do or have to offer~
Life really is getting better now because you’ve mustered the courage to explore your possibilities in all your eccentricity. Your Higher Self never meant for you to fit in anyway. You were always meant to be some sort of a genius trailblazer—a source of inspiration for the other lameass Humans who are too afraid to be themselves.
catching stars – 10 of Pentacles
What more can be said? On top of embracing yourself fully, loving yourself wholeheartedly, and meeting kindred spirits, you’re also going to gain a massive amount of money! Life’s always good when you have a lot of money! More money means a happier heart and more to share as well. But in your case, if you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, know that before a lot of money even trickles into your reality, it is the sense that you’re serving your Life Purpose what will make you feel rich.
After all, there could people reading this who came from a wealthy background and you may think you don’t crave or even care about money. Exactly. You never cared about a lack of money but didn’t you struggle with grounding yourself to this Reality because you didn’t know what you were put on Earth to do? This ‘10 of Pentacles sense of abundance’ encompasses a sense of material abundance that feels deserving; you can now feel worthy of getting paid for some passionate, incredible, show-stopping contribution you’ve made to society. Isn’t that such a wonderful feeling?
Some of you reading this could mend some broken bonds with family; some others could finally find a tribe—a Soul Family—and feel that you belong; some could start a family of your own with someone worthy of your high-grade affection. Congratulations~! You’ve really made it this far~ Things can only get better and better from here♥︎
APPLE STRUDEL🔻💗
honey lemon juice – Green Historian (Herodotus)
have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Patience
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Stepping On the Pedestal of Destiny
VIBE: Cheer Up, Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
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end of a struggle – King of Pentacles
If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, I just know it that you’ve been working so hard on yourself, on a level that’s practically incomprehensible for most people. I’m sure you’ve survived so many deaths of the spirit—and perhaps even some of the more dramatic attempts. And you’ve come on top of your misery now. You’ve gotten healthier and clearer about where you’re going next. I sense sometimes you still doubt yourself but it isn’t a sin to doubt, it’s just a sign that you want to do well. And on so many levels, sometimes you’re afraid because you genuinely want this dream/vision to happen to you.
I assure you with this reading that you’re on the fast track towards a rendezvous with Destiny. Fast…is honestly relative to each Soul’s blueprint tho XD Time is on your side and what’s meant for you can’t miss you. So chillax, OK? One thing to know about this great dream/vision of yours is that you’re going to see it manifest because you’re different from the rest. Different in that you want to see it manifest to be of service to the rest! When you really think about it…
Don’t you just know from deep within your Soul that you’re deserving of this great destiny? It’s because you’re going to serve a massive purpose with it! So many people would benefit from your realising this dream. And that’s the very thing! You’ve been holding on to this vision, and you want it, because you’re MEANT for it.
in your favour – 4 of Cups
I’ll be referencing the 1971 ver. of Willy Wonka here. And honestly, I think you should watch it by the weekend or something because that movie’s whole vibe will feel tremendously validating to you, I sense hahah
Have you heard of the theories that say Charlie was literally singled out by Willy Wonka from the very beginning? That he had chosen all of those horrible brats because he wanted to punish, oops, teach them a lesson, and that principally he had been watching Charlie and wanted HIM to inherit the Chocolate Factory. If you watch the 1971 film you’ll literally get it! And with this 4 of Cups, know that that’s how the Universe feels about you stepping into your destiny. Willy Wonka, or God idk, doesn’t want anybody else but YOU to fulfil this role~!
You’ve literally been chosen and singled out by the Universe to win the grand prize! Just so you know, as I’m typing these words I literally have the Willy Wonka movie playing on another window and as I typed ‘grand prize’, the person in the movie is saying it right at the same time at around the 19:11 minute mark. Things can’t get any more synchronous than that!🤯
This year, you’ll really see how every single thing is going to work out in your favour. And knowing the inner work you’ve done on yourself, I’m sure you’re spiritually mature enough to sense, to notice every small nudge that tells you what you need to do at a given time😊New adventures are just around the corner, baby~!
catching stars – 5 of Pentacles
So you see, how is 5 of Pentacles appearing for a segment about you catching stars? This is, in fact, reaffirming that your dream come true will also serve as a salve for those who are wounded and hurting. You really are a medicine for this sick world. This year, you’re going to see serendipitous events and meetings what will open the door towards the physical manifestation of your dream Reality. Once you step on to the pedestal of Destiny, there’s no stopping you. You’ll be moving so fast it drives you mad!
This card is also saying you must be careful of possible leeches coming towards you; it’s best to use caution and discernment when revealing to others your plans and goals. Be stingy with information as per your gut instinct’s nudges, OK? Be mature enough to know not everybody will be happy at the prospect of your massive success that could potentially change Mankind. People get envious of such ideas, alright? Be careful not to hit the already low self-esteem of some people around you LMAO
I also feel that this year you will begin new routines that benefit your health and physical strength. If this is something you’ve been working on, you will see this year that the implementation of these routines feels more natural and effortless. You’ve managed to master your thoughts, emotions, and time management—or soon to do. Money will also come more abundantly, so all your basic needs are easily met. You’ve become a magnet for good luck—or soon to notice you’ve done so!🍀
APPLE STRUDEL🔻🧡
honey lemon juice – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)
have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Innocence
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]
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a shore thing
bucky barnes x fem reader
i decided to write it hehe
a/n: any and all mistakes are my own! feedback is encouraged & welcomed :) xoxo
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Bucky calls your name for the umpteenth time, beyond exasperated as you stumble away, giggling uncontrollably as you evade capture. He's hardly tipsy anymore, having decided to nurse a single beer for the last couple hours when he noticed how heavy you were drinking. Somebody needed to be responsible, he told himself. Even Steve was letting loose more than usual. But, to be fair, they were all on vacation.
“Guys, the taxis are here,” Nat announces, yet again, leaning heavily against one of said vehicles. “Bucky, we gotta go.”
“I’m trying my best here,” he replies. Although, that's not entirely true. “Someone should've cut her off ages ago.”
“Boooooo,” you heckle as you run past him.
Bucky sighs heavily. “Fine. You can stay here by yourself.”
You pause abruptly, almost tripping over your own feet, but you catch yourself before you face-plant into the gravel. “You're leaving me?” you ask in a pitiful tone.
“Yup.” Bucky turns and takes a few steps away, hearing you whine in protest. “Have fun.”
“Noooo, wait!”
Your uneven steps come closer and closer to Bucky and as soon as he gauges you're within arm’s reach he spins around with a smirk. It makes you lurch to a stop, gasping as it dawns on you.
“Betrayal!” you shout, pointing an accusatory finger at him. You try to take off running again, but Bucky is quicker. You're swooped up into a fireman’s carry before you even register your feet leaving the ground. “Ack! Put me down, you absolute caveman!”
Sam sticks his head out of the taxi. “There's room in this one.”
Bucky steers his steps that way, feeling your tiny fists beating his back the whole way, and plops you into the open seat. You let out a cute oof that he ignores as he tries to latch the seatbelt. You're a squirmy little shit though, and he soon finds that the only way he’ll be able to get the group back to the hotel is to enter the taxi himself and pull you into his lap. He quickly shuts the door and finally latches the seatbelt around the both of you, telling the driver to go.
Sam shakes his head in amusement in the seat beside Bucky. “You're seriously the only one who can rally that firecracker of a woman.”
“Hey!” you object with a pout. “I'm drunkies, not deaf. I can still hear you.”
You and Sam begin bickering and Bucky rolls his eyes, but he doesn't do anything to interfere. He's too busy trying to think about literally anything else other than the ginormous mistake he made by placing you on his lap. You, the person he's been in love with for far too long now, who has absolutely no clue of his feelings and sends constant mixed signals.
There are days he's sure you feel the same with the way you look at him, but then the next day you go out of your way to make sure he knows the two of you are just friends. He's losing his fucking mind. He doesn't know if he should tell you how he feels or try to move on.
You're wiggling suddenly, body jostling atop Bucky’s and his mind is forced to return to the present, only to see you and Sam slap-fighting like children.
“I’m so sorry, sir,” he addresses the driver, “I swear they're actually adults when they're not three sheets to the wind.”
The driver waves off the apology with a chuckle. The fight ends with you pinching Sam’s nipple, his cry of pain and outrage making you giggle wildly and throw your head back onto Bucky’s shoulder. After you catch your breath you sit up and wiggle some more until you're sitting sideways and can look at Bucky. Your eyes are glassy and your smile is sly and a touch wonky, and Bucky still thinks you're the cutest, sexiest woman he's ever known.
“Why don't you like me for real?”
The taxi is uncomfortably quiet. Bucky blinks a few times, shifting his gaze to Sam, who’s suddenly very interested in the passing streetlights and palm trees outside the window. Traitor, Bucky thinks. With no help from his supposed friend, Bucky looks back to you.
He clears his throat. “I do like you.”
“No,” you huff, rolling your eyes, “I mean like, like me like me. Like, more.”
Bucky is silent again, his mind whirling with a million questions–the biggest one being what the fuck?
“I'm not sure what you mean,” he says carefully. He hopes playing dumb will work in deterring the conversation, but he should've known better.
“You always just joke about it, but you never mean it. Always get my hopes up.”
“What are you talking about?” he blurts, truly flabbergasted, but he cuts you off before you can reply. “No, don't answer that. You're drunk, okay? You don't know what you're saying.”
You poke his cheek roughly, pouting. “I just want you to like me back, Buck. Wanna kiss you whenever I want.”
Bucky swallows thickly, unable to take his eyes away from yours as you lean in closer.
“Don't you wanna kiss me?” you question, reaching up you play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “Can I kiss you, Bucky?”
Your lips graze his, a feather-light touch, and he exhales shakily. Of fucking course he wants to kiss you. He's wanted nothing else for the last year. But he doesn't want it like this. He says your name, voice low in warning. You either don't hear him or you don't care.
Bucky’s eyes flutter closed as you continue pressing light kisses to his lips, the corner of his mouth, his chin, along his jaw. He fists his hands where they rest on either side of you, praying for the will to remain strong.
“You're drunk,” he repeats, a last ditch effort in getting you to stop, but even he can hear how weak the protest is.
“I still know what I want, what I feel.” You brush your nose against his. “I want you.”
Sam coughs pointedly beside both of you. “We’re here.”
Bucky is quick to unlatch the seatbelt and help you out of the car. Nat walks over and grabs your hand, Steve walking leisurely behind her.
“Let's go to bed, please,” she begs as she drags you with her.
You begin whining again, reminding Bucky of your inebriated state. He shouldn't have let you kiss him. You're not going to remember any of this tomorrow. Guilt punches him in the gut. He's so fucking weak when it comes to you.
“I wanna sleep with Bucky,” you complain as you resist.
Natasha squawks. “What?!” Her eyes are as wide as saucers, flicking back and forth from you and Bucky. Sam fails to hide his snort.
“His bed is bigger,” you explain, “You take up too much space.”
Natasha gasps. “How dare you!”
You turn to Bucky with pleading eyes. “Bucky, please let me sleep with you.”
“I… I'm not sure that's a good idea,” he replies.
You stomp your foot. “Pleeeease?” Your pout is lethal. “I promise I won't take up too much space.”
Sam puts his hand over Nat’s mouth before she can start yelling, doing his best to frogmarch her into the hotel so they don't cause a disturbance. Steve follows languidly, which is the sign that he's quickly coming down from his drunken high and will likely crash the moment his head hits the pillow.
“You should just sleep in your room with Nat,” Bucky advises.
“I don't wanna sleep with her,” you say, stepping back into Bucky’s space. One of your hands grasps his shirt, the other trailing across his chest. He fights the shiver threatening to run down his spine. “I wanna cuddle you.”
You look up at him through your lashes and Bucky knows he's lost. He sighs. You grin and giggle, grabbing his hand to lead him inside the hotel. He's quiet the whole ride up in the elevator. Your head is resting on his shoulder, humming along to whatever song is playing in your head. You’re still holding his hand.
When you're both standing in front of his room door, Bucky pauses, about to try one last time to get you to go two rooms down to the one you're supposed to be sharing with Nat, but you snatch the key card out of his hand and open the door before a word can leave his mouth. He doesn't trust you to be alone right now, and with Sam babysitting Nat and Steve probably snoring away in his own room, Bucky accepts his fate. He enters the room, closing the door with resignation.
“Ugh, god, these heels are the worst,” you grumble as you trip your way over to sit on the bed. You fight with the small buckle before making a noise of complaint. “Buckyyy…”
“Jesus,” he mutters, huffing as he walks to you.
He kneels in front of you and carefully takes your shoes off. You hum, pleased, once your feet are free, wiggling your toes.
“Why do you wear them if you hate them so much?” he mumbles.
“Because they make my legs and ass look fantastic, duh.”
Well. That's fair, Bucky supposes.
“Can you unzip me now?”
Fuck. Bucky chokes on nothing.
“Unzip you? What are you planning on sleeping in? Your pajamas are in your room,” he points out.
“Can't I borrow one of your shirts?” you ask, blinking innocent eyes up at him.
He doesn't trust it one bit.
“Please, Bucky? My dress won't be comfortable.”
Your pout makes yet another appearance. He doesn't bother pointing out that you wouldn't have this problem if you went to your own room. You'd ignore him anyway.
“Fine,” he grumbles. He rifles through his bag to find a shirt for you, grabbing pajamas for himself while he's at it. “I'll go change in the bathroom.”
He turns to head that way, but you stop him.
“My dress,” you remind him, spinning around and pointing at the zip.
Bucky's pretty sure you could do this by yourself, but he's just ready to go to bed at this point, so he’ll do whatever he has to to get there. He tries not to put too much thought into the action, but his mind can't help but wander, imagining unzipping your dress with different intentions. The more skin that is revealed to him, the more his breathing picks up. He takes note that you didn't wear a bra with this dress, which makes him realize you'll be wearing his shirt with only your underwear beneath it. He curses mentally.
He steps away like he's been burned once the zipper reaches the bottom. “There you go,” he says, voice gruff.
He doesn't wait for your response, quickly escaping into the bathroom before anything else can be asked of him. It doesn't take Bucky long to change his clothes, but he still lingers in the small space to gather his wits, taking his time as he brushes his teeth, and even splashes some cold water on his face. He stares at himself in the mirror for a moment.
“She’ll forget all of this by morning,” he assures himself.
He's not fond of the way that statement makes his stomach twist.
When he leaves the bathroom, he finds your dress pooled on the floor in the same spot you stood as he unzipped it. You're standing next to the bed, fidgeting with the hem of Bucky’s shirt that hangs off your small frame. He raises a quizzical brow.
“I don't know which side you prefer,” you say, unsure.
Bucky feels himself soften at your expression. “I'm good either way.”
You dart for the left side, lifting the comforter and sheets and snuggling underneath them. Bucky's lips twitch, but he resists smiling.
“C’mon, Buck, I want cuddles,” you entice, patting the spot beside you exaggeratedly.
He only hesitates for a split second. It's late and exhaustion is settling in his bones. He’ll worry about consequences in the morning.
You waste no time in invading his space once he's in the bed. You nudge his arm until he lifts it, worming your way under it and placing your head on his chest, your own arm slung over his waist. Bucky goes still, holding his breath until you get comfortable. Slowly, he lets his arm fall across your back, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh.
“Bucky?” you whisper.
“Hm?”
You nuzzle into his pec. “Love you.”
Bucky's eyes snap open then. His heart begins hammering in his chest and he prays that you're close enough to sleep to not notice.
“Goodnight,” he rasps after a minute passes by.
Your only reply is a light snore. Bucky feels his heart crack in his chest.
~
The next morning, Bucky lies awake, staring at the ceiling. He's not sure exactly how much sleep he got, but it wasn't a lot. You only got clingier as you slept, practically wrapping your whole body around him.
Bucky is a weak, weak man.
Sunlight begins peeking through the curtains, eventually finding its way to the bed and across your closed eyes. A frown forms between your brows and he almost smoothes it with his thumb. The only reason he stops himself is because you groan and turn away before he can.
“Turn it off,” you croak.
“The sun?” he retorts with a laugh.
“Yes,” you reply derisively. “Kick its ass for waking me up.”
Bucky smiles to himself. “Whatever you want, my love.”
It feels like the room freezes in time after the endearment escapes him. With a jolt, you sit up and face him. Bucky can't read your expression, but that's mostly because he's doing his best to look anywhere but your face.
“Seriously?” you gripe. “You're still going to poke fun about that kind of shit even after what I said last night?”
That gets his attention pretty easily. He meets your gaze and hates the dejected look on your face.
“What–what are you talking about?” he questions, thrown.
Your chin wobbles slightly before you scoff, whipping the comforter off your body as you attempt to leave the bed, but Bucky sits up and grabs your wrist to stop you.
“Wait–”
“Let go of me,” you demand, refusing to look at him.
“Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on,” he replies firmly.
You turn to him with a glare. “You're still joking about my feelings for you, even though I made it perfectly clear how I felt last night.”
“Felt? You… you don't feel the same anymore?” He's grasping for straws here. “I thought–I mean, I didn't think you were serious. You were drunk, I…”
“It doesn't matter if I still feel the same or not,” you reply, the fight leaving your body.
“Yes, it does!” he exclaims. “God, of course it fucking matters. If you have feelings for me, I need to know.”
“Have I not made it abundantly clear already?!” you retort. “If you're that fucking dense, then here you go: I'm fucking in love with you, you big, stupid, gigantic ass–”
He cuts you off by dragging your body to his and kissing you. You make a sound of shock, but you don't push him away, so he deepens the kiss, tilting his head and flicking his tongue at the seam of your lips. You open for him with a gasp, your tongue meeting his and making you both moan. He pulls away, chest heaving.
“We're both stupid,” he declares. “I'm in love with you too. I thought you were the one not taking it seriously.”
Your dazed expression begins clearing and realization sets in. “Oh my god,” you mumble as you yank him back into a kiss that has him reeling.
“Do you know,” he starts between kisses, “how fucking hard it was—to be a gentleman last night?”
You giggle. “I was hoping you wouldn't be a gentleman.”
Bucky curses, manhandling you until you're flat on your back. “That can be arranged.”
“Promises, promises,” you goad, biting your lip.
“Exactly,” he replies, lips tugging into a smirk.
~
Needless to say, the two of you have to put up with merciless teasing for the rest of the trip… But it's worth it.
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beamiesbuddies · 2 months
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Part 2: A Dream of an Autumn Garden
A few more photos of Mr. Morpheus, continuing from my post here!
As I said on the other photoset, I'm very happy & proud of him! I'm happy I decided to take my time to get him just how I wanted & edit the photos I took nicely. I hope you all love him too. Sweet dreams~
I have included a bunch of Cool Facts about how I made him under the cut if you are so inclined!
Started: Late Jan 2022 / Finished: Dec 30 2022
Approx work hours- 273 hours (worked on average every 3rd day out of 274 days; averaged 3h/session)
Times I remade something because I messed it up/wasn't happy with it: Hands- 2; Feet- 2; Head- 2.5; Body- 1; Clothes: 3
Pattern: trial, error & determination
Height: 3ft tall
Materials:
stretch jersey knit (body)
polyfill (stuffing)
brushed out acrylic yarn (hair)
star sapphire x2 (eyes)
pipe cleaner (hand armature)
wooden dowels/18 gauge wire (elbow/arm skeleton that keeps snapping I may add)
acrylic paint/pastels (shading & details)
acrylic thread (body sculpting & upper eyelashes)
stretch velvet/velvet burnout, cotton (clothes)
Fun facts:
his look was inspired by his overall appearance in the comics; I particularily like the depictions done by Jill Thompson, Mike Dringenberg & Marc Hempel!
his arms and legs are jointed in the same way as many teddy bears are: you use a washer, nut & bolt to butt-up the limb against the body internally and it gives the limbs full rotation. First time I have tried the method and it's definitely something I'll try again!
I had no idea how I was going to do the inset eyes, but I was determined to have them as some sort of stone. I had to redo his first head completely because I cut too far in! Eventually I got it to work by creating a "backcushion" with clay for the stones, and then closed and sculpted the eyelids overtop to secure them in.
You can't see in most of my photos but his eyes are star sapphire: when light hits them correctly, it causes a ✨to appear just like his eyes in the comics~!
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making his hand & feet were a challenge, especially thinking about where to put the needle through to sculpt tendons, nails, etc (and also deciding how detailed to get without looking strange). I think I learned a lot tho and I'm very proud of the hands
my favorite sculpted parts are the collar bone/chest, the right hand & the nose~
because the skin is white, he gets very dirty with his black clothes, so I had to line all of them in white. He also has to soak in bleach once in a while to maintain his complexion (LOL)
A signature somehwere on his person xD
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Thank you all again for your nice tags & comments so far on my work. If you guys would like for me to share some behind the scenes photos of this photoshoot, or WIP photos of me making him, let me know and if there's enough interest maybe I'll make a post down the road!
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Ready Or Not
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Howzer x fem!S/O | 1.9k words
Content: blind dates, bad first impressions, Howzer has some thoughts and feels to work through, maybe some demi vibes?, no real fluff but I think it's sweet in its own way
Prompt: I came across this concept of a "Meet Ugly" and thought it'd be interesting to explore. Used this scenario: Getting set up on a blind date and not having the best reaction when they first see each other.
Part of Operation #MoreHowzerFics
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He did not have time for this.
Maybe the rest of the galaxy had been duped into thinking the war was over, but Howzer knew better. There was still a fight to be had, and a more dire one at that. A fight for his brothers. Their fates were hanging in the balance... and here he was, sitting at some cafe on Pabu waiting for a date.
He wasn't even sure how it had happened. Rex had insisted there was a reason soldiers took R&R, and even though they technically weren't soldiers anymore they should still try to relax every once in a while. Fireball had taken to saying "you need to get laid" every time Howzer was in an even slightly bad mood. Greer was always going on about how they needed to think of the future, find a dream worth fighting for, like a home or a family. And Gregor was weirdly interested in figuring out what everyone's "type" was; everywhere they went he'd point someone out and gauge their reactions.
All of that somehow had culminated in setting Howzer up on a blind date the second they touched down on Pabu. As if he had time for such things. As if he cared about such things.
And yet... here he was. Wearing his armor and a frown, but he'd still shown up. If he wasn't so busy cursing his brothers in his mind, he could have analyzed why he was here. Or whether he maybe secretly did care about such things.
His leg bounced and his narrowed eyes stared unfeeling out at the planet's glistening waters. He glanced down at his watch every few minutes, growing more upset at how the time passed without this supposedly "cute" date of his showing up. A memory of Echo whispered in the back of his mind, saying something about "Pabu time", how people here didn't need to move with the same urgency he was used to, but he didn't listen to it.
A few people passed by and gave him pleasant smiles. Some entered the patio and gave warm hugs to neighbors they recognized. An elderly couple went up to the counter, leisurely reading the menu as if they had never dined here before. One girl confidently strolled in, at first acting like she knew where she was going, and then halting in the middle of the tables and looking about in confusion. She then tried to cover and got in line to order, as if that had been her plan, even though Howzer had seen the whole thing and knew she had probably absentmindedly gone to the wrong place.
He fought back the urge to roll his eyes at these people. He wasn't really annoyed at them. If anything, he envied their peace. They didn't have family enslaved by the Empire. They didn't have uncertain futures. They were allowed to wander and smile and act a little silly. It's what he would want for his brothers once they were freed. No, he was annoyed because they weren't free. This peace was not theirs. But here he was, sitting in a cafe overlooking a beautiful view and waiting for a date as if he had earned it. How in the galaxy had he let Rex and the others convince him to do this?
Just when he started to entertain the idea of bailing, the girl from earlier caught his eye. She had made it up to the counter now and the worker was pointing over in his direction. Howzer subconsciously shifted, his back straightening and his hand settling on his thigh next to his blaster holster. Usually he'd pretend not to have noticed, let any potential threats think they were catching him unawares while all along he had the upper hand. But here, he decided to send a different message. I am aware, I see you staring, try to mess with me.
The girl followed the path that the worker had pointed her in, right to Howzer. She didn't look like a spy or some other kind of threat, but these days, who really knew. Especially when she seemed determined to appear pleasant and confident, despite the nervous gulp Howzer clocked from across the patio, not to mention the little display of carelessness he had seen from her earlier.
"Hi there," she said when she came within a few feet of his table.
She gave out a breathy laugh and Howzer frowned, waiting to see what she wanted from him.
"Um," she gulped again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Another nervous tell. What was she hiding? "I uh... Phee told me to meet someone here. For a... a date?"
Howzer's eyes widened in realization. Kriff.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to walk right past you," the girl continued to fill in the silence. "I guess I wasn't expecting, um..."
She trialed off as she realized how the thought was sounding out loud, and then quickly tried to save face by hurrying over to the seat opposite him and pulling it out. But Howzer wasn't going to let her off the hook that easy.
"Weren't expecting... what?" he asked once she sat down. He eased his hand away from his blaster but kept his posture upright. She may not be a threat but he wasn't exactly comfortable.
She exhaled quickly with a sheepish smile. "Well, a clone."
Howzer's eyes returned to their narrowed state, sizing up this girl he found himself sitting across from. She interpreted the silence as offense and immediately started babbling.
"I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's... it's just... You know, you've all just recently started coming here... I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised... Of course Phee would set me up with someone I don't know, I know practically every other guy here, and there's a reason I'm not with any of them... And she's been working with clones more recently... But like, I know only a few of you are sticking around for good, so I guess that's why it didn't occur to me that..."
Howzer wasn't sure when he had started zoning out. He felt bad, but also couldn't help it. He didn't have much time for this date to begin with, and certainly no time to listen to a stranger ramble without getting to any sort of point. He was a soldier; he valued conciseness. Whatever suppressed little hope he had that maybe this date wouldn't be so bad after all, maybe he finally would find a romantic connection with someone, dissipated into the saltwater breeze. 
He sat forward and the girl stopped spewing her thoughts, eagerly awaiting him to interject and contribute.
"Look, you seem like a nice girl," he lied. He honestly didn't really have an opinion about her one way or the other. He'd been hit on plenty of times back on Ryloth but had never felt anything by it, other than occasional annoyance when it interrupted his duties. "But it seems like we both have some disappoints over this arrangement. Why don't we cut our losses now, get some time back in our days, and part on good terms?"
Now it was her turn to frown.
"You... you're disappointed?"
Howzer was already scooting his chair back to stand. "It's nothing personal against you," he tried to reassure, though even he could hear how impolite it sounded. He hated that he was in such a situation. He should have never come in the first place.
He gave her a formal nod, almost like a salute, and then strode through the patio gate and down quiet, cobbled streets back toward the town square. Each step felt heavier and heavier and he did whatever he could to ignore the guilt twisting in his chest, even trying to look at his surroundings and focus on taking in the architecture and flora and beauty. It was a hollow focus, but he was determined to keep walking, believing he'd soon forget about this awkward encounter and the rude behavior he'd displayed, and things would go back to normal... as normal as they could be in a war.
But then a voice started to cut through to him from behind.
"Sir? Sir!"
He turned in confusion to see the girl jogging toward him. She pulled up a few feet from him, only slightly out of breath.
"Sorry. Um, I don't know your name. Or your rank."
"My rank doesn't matter anymore," he said, immediately regretting how defensive it sounded. He really was a mess today, wasn't he.
"Sure it does," she said with a small smile. "It was an accomplishment, something you should always be proud of."
Without realizing, the tenseness in his shoulders started to loosen. He took in a deep breath and said the first normal thing all day. "My name's Howzer. Captain Howzer."
Her smile grew just a bit more. "It's nice to meet you, Captain Howzer. And... I'm sorry if I came across rude or annoying before. I understand if you don't find me attractive, but I really don't want that to be your impression of me. I really wasn't disappointed to find out you were my date. In fact, I'm disappointed I didn't actually get to have you as a date. But, like I said... it's okay if you're not interested."
Howzer's heart was twisting again. She was a nice girl. Sweet, thoughtful. Still used too many words, but he supposed he didn't use enough sometimes. As far as attraction, he wasn't entirely sure he knew what that felt like, but those bright eyes and soft smile weren't so bad to look at.
"It's not that I'm not interested," he started to say slowly, but then realized he wasn't sure how to finish the thought.
The girl stepped closer. "You're just not ready?"
"Honestly, I don't know if I ever will be ready." He gave a sheepish shrug, though he was starting to feel better. He appreciated that she was helping him sort through these confusing feelings. Her eyes were closer, swimming with the reflection of the sky and what he believed to be genuine care. Before he knew it, he was elaborating. "I mean, do I like the idea of sitting down for coffee with someone and getting to know them? Of course. But to what end? I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if I can be a good friend, let alone... something else."
She nodded in understanding but still offered a different perspective. "To be fair, no one really knows what the future holds. And relationships come in all different forms. There's no one way to be a good friend. Or a good something else."
Howzer's eyes slipped away from hers, pulled toward the glistening sea in the backdrop behind her. He mulled over her words as he watched the waves, nothing but tiny little ripples from this distance. It reminded him of some of the paintings he saw back on Ryloth. He'd always been impressed with artists who could make small details seem real. They were only small strokes on a canvass but they captured a whole entire feeling.
He shook himself, not sure why he was thinking about such a thing right now. The girl was still watching him with a small but knowing smile. She stepped back and returned the nod he'd given her back at the cafe.
"I'm really glad to have met you, Captain. I wish you all the best."
She turned and started walking back the way she'd came. Howzer let her get a few steps before finally calling out.
"Wait. I didn't get your name."
She paused and smiled at him over her shoulder.
"Hope."
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Every Character Tag: @dangerousstrawberrypie, @justanothersadperson93, @arctrooper69, @sleepycreativewriter, @techie-bear,
@theroguesully, @cw80831, @cdblake1565
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silkscream · 9 days
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CHAPTER 11: POISON ROOT
ੈ✩ gojo satoru x reader, geto suguru x reader
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It disgusted you a little bit, needing them like a fiending addict. Living with yourself and yourself alone was starting to get old, though you aren’t sure how much left of you feels whole. You were always fruit split in between a blade, all the gory parts splayed out by the hand of someone greater than you.
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ੈ✩ chapter cw/tags: explicit content (18+ mdni) , unprotected sex, drunk sex, threesome, oral sex, cumplay, phone sex, mentions of depression, angst, descriptions of mild gore
ੈ✩ wc: 7k
ੈ✩ a/n: here's a nice and fat chapter for you before we enter The Dark Ages <3
playlist ✸ read on ao3 ✸ series masterlist
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“Sorry, what?”
Yaga scowls at you and you’re unfazed. Mostly, you’re exasperated.
“I’ve repeated myself twice already,” he says calmly. More so brusquely, but you didn’t care enough to gauge his reaction. You’re too busy processing his words.
“I—I know, I’m sorry,” you mutter. “But why me? Shoko’s technique is way stronger than mine.”
“Shoko’s technique is not your technique. And unlike her, you actually engage in combat.”
“Because the boys forced me—”
He brings a hand to your shoulder in an attempt for reassurance. You freeze.
“Your technique is remarkable. Stronger than you think,” Yaga sighs, almost in resignation. He doesn’t seem particularly enthused about what he’s proposing to you, but you consider that you’d probably worn him down over the past half hour.
He rolls his eyes at the look on your face. Mouth parted like an animal struck with fear. 
“But—”
“There hasn’t been anyone with a technique like yours in over ten years. I remember it. I had a family friend as a teacher here first—she talked about a boy that could regenerate cells. Practiced on plants and small animals as a child until he was able to resurrect bigger ones at your age.”
“That boy isn’t me,” you protest, your brows furrowing.
“He isn’t,” Yaga snaps back. “He died, and his death could’ve been prevented. This is why I want you to do this. I want you to be strong enough so that the same thing doesn’t happen to you.”
You swallow and look down, pretending to be interested in your thumbs. Your hands are delicate compared to anyone else’s. You had always admired people who could make something out of nothing, people who sculpted, crafted. Sometimes, you often wonder if what you do could be considered the same.
You haven’t told anyone, but it’s easy to destroy things with your hands. Much easier than it is to build anything up, to heal. 
You’d tried it during long walks through the forest. On your way back from solo missions, you’d take routes that were less traveled, needing to clear your head. Once or twice, you remember finding animals that were victims of hunting. Broken limbs, bleeding out too much for you to save. You’d practice the darker parts of your technique, letting quick rot take away their misery.
“For how long?”
“Just two months. July and August.”
You take a deep breath. You could be alone in Kyoto for two months. The boys would survive. At least, you think Suguru would.
When you tell Satoru the next day, it’s a disaster.
“You’re what?”
“Satoru,” you warn, crossing your arms. 
Dealing with him is arduous. You knew he would react this way. He looks at you with irritation, nipping at your bare thigh just to see you pout. You were in the middle of reading when he had barged in, craving the scent of your moisturizer on your inner thighs. Needed the whipped softness of your flesh squeezed in between his hands after some heated sparring with Suguru.
“You can’t.”
“That’s not your decision—”
“You can’t. What did that old man say? Some other guy had your technique and died?”
“I’m not going to die!” you huff, rolling your eyes. 
Satoru frowns, his blue eyes glowing. He was free of missions for the past week, treating you to dates whenever he could. It seems that you’ve ruined his bliss. That ugly thought in his head festered in his mind again — the need to possess you. Trap you in a glass cage to stay alive forever like you were his enchanted rose.
“Like hell you won’t,” he mutters. “Which is why you’re staying.”
“I want to get stronger, Satoru.”
“You didn’t even want to be a sorcerer in the first place! And now you’re desperate to train with your little cell regeneration? Are you gonna dabble in necromancy?”
You frown at his condescending tone. He isn’t taking you seriously. He never does. Satoru has always had his way of belittling others, but he’d sworn to never do that to you given your history. You take a deep breath.
“It’s just… an independent study, alright? This could help me in the future. I could go to medical school with Shoko or something, you know? If you’re so scared of me dying because of combat, then I could just focus on the regeneration part and—”
“And what about the other part? How you make things rot and disintegrate?” he asks you incredulously, nearly snarling.
“That’s another thing I can learn to control.”
“But–”
“I didn’t have private lessons like you! I’m not a prodigy like you. Can I just have this one thing?” you plead with exhaustion. You can see the way his eyes flicker with a quiet rage, his mouth turned down into a pout. Petulant even at his big age.
Satoru sighs heavily. He nuzzles his face into your hand, kissing the heartline. You almost feel proud of yourself for not giving into him before the conversation began. He’d come into your room wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves messily cut off, exposing the hard lines of his stomach. Just a gaze had ripped away your autonomy, brain dumb at the sight of him. 
You wanted to lick him clean before he opened his damn mouth.
“I won’t tell you what to do,” he says in defeat.
“Thanks.”
You sit with him for a while, staring at the ceiling, hair strewn around your pillow. Silence fills the air save for the sound of his breathing. Eventually, he curls into you, nose into your bare shoulder as he mumbles unintelligible things. His mouth in the shape of I’ll miss you.
“I know,” you murmur. “I will, too.”
__
Suguru copes by getting buzzed in the daytime. He liked the hope on your face, how the light hit your eyes in a certain way. It meant something more. He knew that you were worth more.
Lately, Suguru feels like less.
Not particularly less than anyone else, though he knows that he’s certainly less than Satoru just by default. He remembers the mission all too clearly—it’s the only thing that haunts his nightmares. The blankness on Satoru’s face, his willingness to kill a group of people just for the sake of it.
He thought he’d lost Satoru forever, that he’d fucked up the mission by letting a bullet go through Riko’s head. But then, of course, Satoru survived. Of course Satoru found a way to bring himself back to life. Everything should be fine, because Satoru came out alive, and so did he. So did you.
It didn’t feel like enough. The taste of curses started to get worse, if that was even possible. Suguru has been starting to believe that he didn’t deserve anything palatable. That the universe was working against him maybe, because his depressive spirals last longer now.
And you’re fucking leaving.
He knows he can have you whenever he wants, but he likes to lick the taste of you out of Satoru’s mouth. 
He bites Satoru’s lip and it makes the boy yelp.
“What the hell was that for?” Satoru pouts. Suguru only grins wolfishly. 
“Thought you wanted me to make you feel better. You don’t like it rough?”
“Of course I like it rough,” Satoru grunts. “But you know I hate teeth.”
“On your dick.”
Satoru pauses, rolling his eyes, then sinks his teeth into Suguru’s neck instead. 
“You smell like a dive bar. It’s fucking 3 pm.”
“Day off, bitch,” Suguru mutters.
Satoru pushes Suguru against the mattress and spoons him, rutting against his ass. It’s always a little violent with them. You used to joke about it—something about dogs and masculinity. Satoru kept wanting to fuck like it was a cage match. Bull-headed, annoying. For Suguru, intimacy always felt like a car crash no matter who it was with.
“You’re not fucking my ass,” Suguru mumbles.
Satoru whines childishly, of course.
“Ran out of lube.”
“Spit?” Satoru begs, his eyes comically large.
“Fuck you, dude,” Suguru scoffs.
“I’m trying!”
Suguru turns to fall onto the bed facing Satoru, then shoves his head downward. He feels numb despite his throbbing cock. He knows Satoru’s mouth is probably watering for him.
“C’mon,” Suguru slurs, unzipping his shorts. “You need to work on giving head.”
“Hey!”
“Not my fault she does it better than you.”
Satoru huffs but leans over the end of the bed anyway, his limbs too long to crouch on the bed. He spits on Suguru’s cock and pumps agonizingly slowly, coaxing out guttural sounds vibrating out of the boy’s throat.
For once, Suguru feels a little powerful when the Jujutsu world’s boy-god chokes over his dick. He looks down and pushes his head down, reveling in the sound of him gagging, throat slack. Not as good as you, but getting better. The drool makes him look pretty. It matched the glazed look in Satoru’s eyes.
Suguru nearly finishes right then and there, the barbed wire inside of his body starting to untangle until there’s a knock on his door. Of course you knock—the polite girl you are.
“S’unlocked,” he calls after you. Satoru makes a noise. Something in between a moan and a sound of protest.
Suguru likes your wide eyes. You’re out of your school uniform, dressed in a white number with embroidered flowers at the hem that hits halfway above your knees.
“Oh… I—”
“C’mere, baby,” Suguru rasps, his hand reaching out for you. He’s so close, threading his fingers through Satoru’s hair before pulling at his snowy mop.
Satoru coughs, his throat raw. It makes Suguru laugh. You watch like you’re outside of your own body, eyes wide. It was easy for them to get you under a spell. 
It doesn’t take long for their hands to grope you, have your dress pooling at your waist so that your bare ass is on display. Heathens. Being with them was always like throwing yourself to the wolves.
“So wet,” Suguru groans, circling a finger in the heat hiding behind your underwear. “Wanted a proper send-off, angel? Gonna miss us all the way in Kyoto, aren’t you?”
You can’t respond when your head is already so dizzy with Satoru’s teeth on your collarbone.
“Don’t talk about that, I’ll lose my boner,” Satoru huffs. 
“What a baby.”
“Stop arguing,” you roll your eyes. 
Suguru decides to be selfish, his dick already out and pulsing from the tease of Satoru’s tongue. He slides it along your folds, wetness pooling right underneath him. It makes him groan, his insides white-hot. He’d been craving this since he’d woken up this morning. The heat was making his moodiness deliquesce into desperation burning like acid in his stomach. He needed you and Satoru like a bullet begging to be lodged, piercing out of a bannister.
“Not fair,” Satoru grumbles, his knees bent as he gropes you. Rutting against the mattress pathetically as he whines, his desperation puppy-like. 
His mouth is salty, leftover from Suguru’s precum. His hair smelled like Suguru’s too—he must’ve been copying his hair routine for the hell of it. It was enough to keep him close without asking to sew himself into the boy’s skin. 
Suguru looks down at you and your blissed-out face, vulnerable before he’s even entered you. Your mouth is wet from Satoru’s kisses, spit drooling out of the corner of your pink mouth. Suguru smears it around and already imagines himself pulling out of you to finish there instead, just to see it on your lips. He’d like to see you cry again one last time.
You hum when you’re filled with him. Stuttering hips hitting slack thighs. Soft despite the violence inside him, the little voice in his head taunting him to wreck you. 
He likes you like this, first. Daisy-soft, his fingers in your mouth until you gag. Yelping in time with Satoru’s stupid whines. 
“Twigs,” Satoru breathes, his hot breath fanning your jaw. “Can I put it in your ass?”
You groan, shaking your head as Suguru howls with laughter. 
__
July, 2010
Gakuganji has you on a leash. It hasn’t even been a week and you’ve already gone on two missions, each that ended with you covered in blood, but luckily unscathed. Satoru would have a fit if he knew. The ghost of him hovers on your shoulder at your weakest moments — taunting you, challenging you. You know he wouldn’t be as cruel if he was with you physically, but your psyche conjures him in a way that feels like punishment. 
You can’t escape him, either. He’s needier than you expect — visiting you during off times during your weekends, treating them like serendipitous encounters. You don’t believe him, and you shouldn’t. 
(He warps to you when he gets in fights with Suguru. When he gets too horny to find someone at a bar, because if it’s not Suguru, it’s you. But he could never tell you that.)
You like to keep yourself busy in Kyoto. Whether it’s immersing yourself in your studies or practicing your technique, you can occupy yourself easily, even if you’re bombarded by images of veiny hands, long black hair, pink mouths. Blue eyes that are too bright, even in your dreams. 
You spend most of your time by yourself, anyway. It’s what you need. If not that, then you’re at the local bars with Utahime-senpai, who transferred to Kyoto months before. 
“Are you their little plaything?” she teases. You’re loosened up after a few beers, all on her tab, but the mention of the boys sobers you up immediately. You scowl.
“What?” She holds her hands up in surrender. “Everybody knows… Shoko kind of already told me.”
“Of course she did,” you snort.
“I’m just saying, you should be careful. They’re insatiable. And never in their right mind. I could advocate for Geto-kun, but I’m sure Gojo’s already corrupted him.”
Corrupted. It’s a funny notion. You wonder if you’ve been corrupted by both of them. Satoru as your first didn’t bother you. To have Suguru as your second only complicated things. You haven’t known anything else but them. You aren’t sure if this should concern you until Utahime talks about it.
“They’re kind of the same in that way,” you mumble.
“Are they both your boyfriends?” Utahime giggles.
“N-No…”
“So it’s not serious? I know I’m not much older than you, but I still went through a few flings. You shouldn’t let them keep you on a chain.”
“They’re not–”
“Are you sure?” she laughs. “You’ve been checking your phone every five minutes. It’s like they brainwashed you.”
“Hime,” you frown.
“I’m just saying,” she shrugs. “There are lots of men around here staring at you.”
“No, there aren’t.”
“Someone is staring at you right now. Behind you. Blonde. Tacky if he wasn’t like, a little hot like he is.”
“Shut up.”
She gives you a pointed look that causes you to look over your shoulder. Lo and behold, there is a man of that description making glances at you with a cocky smirk. It reminds you of the way Satoru looks at you. It makes your stomach flip.
“See?”
“I’m going to the bathroom,” you mumble.
You move past the crowd to the single stall, plastered in posters from vintage porn magazines and graffiti. Your phone’s about to die, but the group chat with you and the boys has unread messages. It’s mostly Satoru complaining, arguing with Suguru about things that you couldn’t care less about. There are separate messages from them, too. Satoru’s suggestive selfies and Suguru’s words of affirmation. You scoff at the difference between them.
When you return, Utahime grins at you like she’s plotting.
“What did you do?” you narrow your eyes.
“He came over here! I knew it. He was interested in you,” she beams.
“What?”
“Relax. He’s a sorcerer. And I gave him your number.”
“Hime!” You shove her arm lightly, groaning when she laughs.
“You need to get laid by someone who isn’t an idiot.”
You roll your eyes. The many beers are making your head swim too much for you to actually be angry. If anything, your cheeks feel warm at the prospect of someone else being interested in you. It’s not something you’ve experienced in your youth, or now for that matter, since Satoru had sunken his teeth in you so quickly.
Images of him talking to other girls at parties flash in your mind, making you grimace. Maybe Utahime was doing you a favor.
The bachelor in question is nowhere to be found. You curse yourself for not getting a good look at him. A pit forms in your stomach at the idea of him texting you – a handsome stranger who watched you babble drunkenly to Utahime. It occurred to you that you hadn’t even considered yourself something desirable in a context that wasn’t bound to Satoru or Suguru.
On the walk home, the thought consumes you. You aren’t sure if you even know yourself without them. During most of your life, you’ve only known obedience. Intimacy with Satoru was no different, you realize. You were wrapped around his finger since you were children – it didn’t matter that you were apart for years. It would always be him.
You aren’t sure if this bothers you or not. You try to push the thought away, shaking your head slightly as if daydreams of him would fall out of your head. It doesn’t work, not really. You’re drunk. Naturally, you think of his pink mouth. The veins on his hands.
You unlock the door of your room. When you enter, darkness envelops you, which you’re used to, if not for the bright blue eyes that stare back at you. 
“Jesus!” you mutter, cursing to yourself once you can get the nearest lamp on. 
“What? Not happy to see me?” he slurs, flashing you a sloppy smile. 
“Can you at least give me a heads-up before you show up randomly?”
“That ruins the surprise, baby,” he purrs, walking over to you to set his hands on your hips.   Trapping you gently. 
“You’re drunk.”
“Hm?”
“You’re. Drunk. Why are you here?” 
“Had a mission nearby. Then I went to a bar to relax. And then, I thought, warping to Tokyo would take too much for a drunk. Why not stay here?”
“I’m not a motel.”
“C’mon, baby,” he pouts. “You’re not gonna kick me out, are you?”
You scoff, moving past him to sit on your bed and take off your shoes.
Satoru chuckles, taking a seat right next to you, thigh touching yours. “You’re drunk, too. I can smell it.”
“I haven’t even been here for a full month and this is like, the third time you’ve surprised me. What’s going on with you?”
“What? Can’t miss my lover?”
He says lover like it’s an inside joke. He never says girlfriend. Never partner.
“You’re so needy.”
“You like me that way,” Satoru says, his voice velvety. He’s not in his uniform, but a light blue button-down and slacks. You wonder if he’s planned this or if he dressed up for someone else, running to you as the safest option because you’re always there. Always willing.
You’d been ready to sink into your shitty mattress and dream of him. You hadn’t been anticipating the real thing in front of you. It was stupid, how he took your breath away, as if he was still something new to you. As if he hadn’t been in the back of your mind since you were a little kid, always.
“I’m tired, Satoru,” you sigh.
“You sure?” he grins. “You smell like beer. Still trying to have some fun tonight?”
You narrow your eyes at him and he laughs. He comes closer, pinching the meat of your thigh right under the hem of your skirt, chuckling when you swat his hand away.
“So short. Who’s this for, huh?” he taunts.
You swallow back an insult the moment you look down at the way his large hands play with a loose thread of your skirt. How large they are compared to your thigh, the calloused tips of his fingers running circles in your skin.
“No one,” you breathe.
“You cheating on me, Twigs?”
“Yeah, with Utahime,” you roll your eyes.
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that. Sounds hot, to be honest.”
Your cursed energy flares. You hate when he belittles you, but you could never do anything about it. You could only fall into his trap, giving into him the way he knows you will. You don’t even notice that he’s caged you within his arms, his hands settling on your hips as his body backs you into your bed. The back of your knees hit the mattress.
His breath smells sweet. It usually does, but it’s something sour this time. Something citrusy, along with the smell of something much too alcoholic. One of those whiskey sours, you guessed. You don’t realize how drunk he is until you look him in the eyes, his blue irises unfocused despite the desperation in his gaze.
“Of course not,” he grins, leaning in to inhale your scent. “You’d never. My sweet girl. My best girl, right?”
“You say that like I’m one of many,” you scoff.
“Are you jealous?” he rumbles, laughing. “As if there’s anyone else I like as much as you…”
He says girl and you think of Suguru. An exception, just barely. You realize how much you miss him, too.
Your eyes flutter closed as Satoru backs you into your bed, teeth grazing your earlobe. You aren’t sure if it’s him or the drunkenness of your brain. You don’t even notice his fingers massaging your thighs, trailing up to hook your underwear to the side to tease your dripping core. It’s his teasing laughter that snaps you awake.
“So wet… did you know I was coming, baby? Or were you expecting someone else?”
You don’t answer. Your breath hitches at the contact of his eager fingers prodding you, pushing upwards into your pulsating cunt before you can protest. The wounded noise you make only spurs him on further.
“You went to a bar, right? Were you thinking about me when you were there? Got yourself all wound up?”
You don’t reply. He’s too busy pushing his fingers to the very edge, stimulating the spot that makes your knees buckle before you can even form a thought.
You gasp, your mouth parting. Slack-jawed, eyes rolling back as you get closer to the edge before he’s even inside you. It could be pathetic if you cared, but Satoru always made everything around you melt, like you weren’t in your own mind anymore. You accepted being a body that belonged to him, nothing more.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he breathes, his lips tickling your jaw. “You’re so quiet.”
“Satoru,” you sigh. His other hand rubs the small of your back, touching the bare skin underneath your thin shirt.
He digs his fingers in further, knuckle-deep until he hears you make a pained noise. He grins at your broken moan like he’d just won a prize. He doesn’t stop, either — he wanted to hear more of those sounds out of your mouth. It was proof that you were still his, wrapped around his finger. 
You try to catch your breath as you lay back on your bed, his strong arms hoisting you up to the wall. You hiss at the feeling of his teeth on your thighs, biting desperately. Satoru was already sweating despite only coaxing bliss from you once. 
He claws at you, pulling at the buttons of your blouse and tugging your skirt down until you’re left bare for him. He groans at the sight of your silky skin, the way your chest heaves in anticipation. Everything about you is ripe, ready to break underneath his hands.
He’s less vocal this time when he takes you, pushing into you before you can say anything. He doesn’t realize how drunk he is until he does this, considering every sense of his was numb until he entered you, igniting his synapses on fire. 
You whimper from the abruptness, aching between your legs. You think that you would’ve bled if you weren’t so in love with him, but you knew better. Anything from him made your entire body warm and pliant, wet beyond your comprehension. You hated it, sometimes.
But you couldn’t hate anything about it now. You were doused in bliss.
“My girl,” he slurs. “So fucking perfect. Say it.”
You mutter nonsense under your breath.
He bends you in half, your calves resting on his broad shoulders. He chuckles at your pathetic whines.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“Fuck — I – I’m your girl,” you sob.
“My perfect girl,” he mutters, correcting you. He groans when he looks down at you, his hips stuttering. His thrusts are harder than usual on purpose — he’d rather die than tell you that he’d only warped to you because he was having a panic attack in his room alone. 
He thought he could get his mind off of you, off of Suguru, who he’d assumed was angry with him all day. There were only dry texts from the both of you. No woman at the bar could compete, even if he managed to get a decent handjob in the bathroom. He could only think of you. 
Satoru knew you’d hate him for it. He was disgusted with himself. He feels it now, aching inside the cavern of his chest when you moan his name, knowing he doesn’t deserve a praising word out of your mouth.
He whines, on the verge of tears as he rides out his orgasm in your cunt. 
“Shit,” he hisses into the skin of your neck.
You can barely reply before he kisses down your stomach, licking himself out of you with his nails digging into your thighs.
“Satoru, what are you—oh, fuck—”
“Cum for me,” he slurs, lapping at your clit as he pushes his fingers into you. He pauses, mesmerized at the way his cum drips out of you, only for his fingers to push it back into the hilt, up to his knuckles.
You sob in protest, your thighs shaking as he plays with you. He doesn’t stop for a second. It’s almost as if he doesn’t realize you’re there, his heavy-lidded gaze fixed on the way your pussy swallows his fingers.
“S’too much,” you whine, grasping his wrist tightly.
“Fuckin’ love you,” he murmurs under his breath. You don’t hear him. Your body convulses as he continues to play you like an instrument. He only stops when he looks up to see tears pricking your eyes.
“S-Satoru…”
“Fuck,” he mutters. He finally retracts, licking his fingers as he looks at you intensely. “Mine… you’re all mine.”
The glassy look in his eyes is from the alcohol, you assume, but there’s something tantalizingly too real about the expression on his face. Raw with something he only buries inside his gut. He snaps out of it like it’s not something you’re supposed to see. 
He grunts when he lays his head on your lap, his fingers digging into your skin possessively as you tremble. You prop your head up on your pillow, trying to catch your breath as you stroke his hair.
“Why’d you get so drunk?” you ask quietly. “Were you alone?”
“Of course I was,” he scoffs, almost defensive. But he smells a sweetness on his skin that isn’t from you, and he knows you’ve already picked up on it. 
“You could’ve texted or called me instead of breaking into my dorm.”
“You just hate fun,” Satoru mumbles. 
Despite his attitude, he rubs his cheek against your thigh like he’s a pet. He thinks about taking you again, just to shut you up — enough to have both of you sweating, the musk of your sex drowning out any remnants from the bitch that Satoru had tried to use hours before.
Nothing could replace you and he had to live with that. 
He nips at your thigh, his mouth getting dangerously close to your core. You whine as you pull him back by his scalp, like the scruff of a dog. Satoru is always insatiable when he’s drunk, which is saying something considering what he’s like sober. His cravings for you are always intense. When he’s not in his right mind, you’re more considered prey than a craving.
You don’t have the energy to respond to him. His warmth satiates you for now as he locks his arms around your bare waist. The light breathing fanning your stomach calms you.
When you wake up, he’s nowhere to be found, but there’s a small floral arrangement on your desk. White orchids and blue hyacinths.
___
August, 2010 
You hate bringing anything back to life as much as you hate desecration.
It’s unnatural — though you know that nothing about the Jujutsu world is natural. Everything to you is a myth you have to deal with. After knowing Satoru for so long and seeing what nasty curses humanity could birth, you shouldn’t be stunted.
It makes you feel a bit ill when you realize how much power your hands wield. As ordinary as you’ve always been, these days you often wish that you were the true epitome of it. Only human, unable to see the horrors of the world. Left in the dark when it came to sorcery. Perhaps you aren’t cut out for this, despite how much you tried to convince Satoru you were.
His voice echoes in your mind. His pleading. The ways he wanted to protect you. He’d belittled your technique for a reason, maybe. You aren’t sure you’re cut out for this shit.
Necromancy is only exciting the first couple of times. After that, it’s the reanimation of body parts that freaks you out. It doesn’t matter that it’s the revival of small birds and rodents on a lab table. You feel like you’re playing God and not even doing a decent job of it.
It catches up to you in your dreams. The image of you getting held down, leaving you to resort to your technique. Rotting flesh. Even in your unconscious, the smell is somehow striking, as if you’re really there. Other times, you find horror in the reanimation of corpses under your hand. Split limbs coming together. Limbs that belong to people you love.
Tonight, you’re shaken by the image of Suguru mauled beyond belief. Sacrilegious violence that makes your stomach turn. 
When you wake up in a sweat, gasping, the alarm clock on your bedside table reads 1:12 am. You dial his number before you can even come to your senses.
“Twigs.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
You hear Suguru chuckle, deep and sweet like teeth sunken into cake. You’re filled with warmth almost immediately. 
“What’s up? Isn’t it past your bedtime?” he breathes.
“Had a nightmare,” you mumble.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“No,” you sigh. 
“Fine. What are you thinking about, then?”
“You,” you mumble.
There’s silence on the other end. Despite this, you can still hear his grin. You can see his little smirk perfectly in your head. 
“Yeah?” his voice lowers. “What about me?”
“Y-your hands,” you mumble. “You make me feel safe.”
“Is that right?”
You make a small noise that shows your agreement, but it’s noncommittal. You hum at the thought of him. You’re sleep-dazed, partially wishing for this moment that he was more like Satoru. Able to talk your ear off without any effort from your end.
Suguru had always known you differently. He had you memorized as much as Satoru did, but uniquely, given the similarities between your personalities. He knew how you worked and he never held it against you.
Satoru would probably try to pry it out of you. Suguru would already know.
And at this moment, he knows. It’d be infuriating if you didn’t see it coming.
“You’re upset,” Suguru says.
“No.”
“You are. Or you’re pent up, which is also like being upset. Need some catharsis?”
“Maybe,” you mumble.
“Tell me what’s wrong, then. Or tell me about your nightmare.”
“No.”
He laughs. 
“Stubborn as always,” he purrs.
“I just wanted to hear your voice,” you whisper.
“You want to hear me be mean to you. You like not being in control. That’s what makes you feel safe, isn’t it, princess?”
“Shut up.”
“C’mon, baby,” he laughs. “Give me something to work with.”
Your eyes nearly glaze over as you watch the flickering lights outside of your dorm. A broken street lamp flashes on and off, shadowing your room in darkness only to illuminate seconds later, back and forth. Unpredictably so. You aren’t sure what else you should look at while you’re still so drunk on Suguru’s voice. You think maybe you’d handle this phone call better if you were far from sober.
“I fucked someone else yesterday.”
The line goes silent. Your heartbeat picks up.
After almost an eternity, you hear Suguru’s voice again. It’s soft, almost cooing. It feels awfully dangerous despite this.
“Yeah? Who?”
You swallow thickly. 
“This guy who got my number last month. Like, I didn’t give it to him — Utahime did,” you ramble. “But then we started texting and stuff and he’s… funny. He, uh, came over yesterday.”
“Did you like it?”
You imagine your throat closes up. Part of you wishes it would, that you’d just pass out immediately for no reason just so you didn’t have to have this conversation. You curse yourself for even bringing it up.
“Y-Yes.”
“You don’t sound so sure about that,” he chuckles.
“I am…”
“You don’t have to be so scared, baby. I know that Satortu took away your virginity, but he’s not some kind of god watching over you.”
“I know,” you huff.
“But you feel guilty, don’t you? Like you’re betraying him?” he teases.
You open your mouth to say something, then close it. You notice how he talks about Satoru and not himself.
“Do you care?”
“I know how you feel about me.” His answer is simple. Blunt. It almost sounds sarcastic, but Suguru often talks like he’s cock-sure about everything. Even if he isn’t, he’s always held a certain confidence that was different from what Satoru exuded. 
Satoru was a bad liar, to you, at least.
“Tell me about your boy. What’s his name?”
“He’s not–” you gruff. “Naoya. His name is Naoya.”
“That Zenin brat?”
“Huh?”
“He’s in the Zenin clan. A right bastard, I’ve heard.”
“He seems fine,” you mumble.
“Someone’s defensive,” he teases.
You pause, staring at the darkness of your ceiling. You fix your shorts, your fingers grazing the wetness of your core. You didn’t even realize you were aroused.
“I should go back to sleep,” you whisper.
“I thought you couldn’t. That’s why you called me, right? You need some help?”
“I don’t need help,” you scoff. “I just… I had a nightmare and wanted to talk to you.”
Suguru smiles. He knows you can’t see it, but he’s beaming in the darkness of his room. He’d been restless for the past few days after some disagreements with Satoru. He tried to blame the heat on physical altercations — the sun burning down to rev up the irritation in their shared systems like they were still boys. Always wanting to pin each other to the ground.
They didn’t have you to mediate, so they’d come out of arguments with bruises. Marks from skin tugged too harshly. The ghost of teeth biting down on flesh. 
“I wish you were here, babygirl,” he sighs, his tone desperate. You almost cringe at it — you always assume he’s playing with you.
“Yeah?” you snort.
“Mhm. It’s funny. You didn’t even wake me up when you called. I was already awake, thinking of you.”
“Were you, now?”
“Mhm,” Suguru hums.  “I just kept thinking about your thighs. How small your leg is compared to my hand.”
Your breath hitches and he almost laughs when he hears it.
“Can you do something for me, baby?” he asks. “Want you to touch yourself. Tell me how wet you are.”
You gulp. Your fingers prod at the hem of your athletic shorts, the nylon riding up as you squirm in your bed. Your index and middle fingers prod at the center of your core experimentally. You’re fucking dripping and it makes your breath hitch.
Suguru calls your name.
“I”m…” you stammer. “I’m wet. Why?”
“Poor thing. Maybe that’s why you can’t sleep, no?”
“I-I’m fine… I just—”
“You should play with your clit. Since I can’t be there to do it for you,” he breathes.
“What?”
“C’mon, sweetheart. I can tell my favorite girl just needs to relax. That’s why you called me, right?”
You whimper. It was maybe half-true. Suguru had stopped answering his texts as frequently as he usually did, and you missed the sound of his voice. The odd ache in your chest wasn’t something that you felt like exposing to anyone else, not even Satoru.
The silk of Suguru’s voice brings you back. You wanted to breathe him in, but he hadn’t visited like he said he would. Didn’t have the warping feature that Satoru had, which to this day, still startled you whenever it happened. Ocean eyes whipping your senses from thin air, like a lightning strike. 
Despite your recent gripes about him, you needed the both of them like you needed air. At least to make it all more bearable. It disgusted you a little bit, needing them like a finding addict. Living with yourself and yourself alone was starting to get old, though you aren’t sure how much left of you feels whole. You were always fruit split in between a blade, all the gory parts splayed out by the hand of someone greater than you.
You needed Suguru’s musk, his hair in between your fingers as he rocked into you. Your hands were too small compared to his. 
He has you panting, sweating through Kyoto’s mugginess. The dorms were in even worse shape here than on the main Tokyo campus, probably why Gakuganji was such a vapid old man. Everything was too hot and falling off the bone.
“I feel like I’m hallucinating. It’s like I can smell you through the phone,” Suguru murmurs, his voice like a mirage. You’d laugh if you weren’t so deep in your cunt, fingers pruning and pushed to the knuckles. 
Suguru knew you would do anything for him, so he made you torture yourself because he wasn’t there to do it himself.
Your groans are muffled from you smothering your face in the sheets, knees pressing down and ass up. Willing to humiliate yourself without him even being there.
“Don’t tell me you’re giving up already,” he chides.
“I’m not,” you whine.
“How many times have you cum?”
“None.”
He laughs. “What are you thinking about?”
“You know what.” 
You’re close to tears by the time he lets you cum. The sound of his voice hitting you deep in your core, insides permeated with the thought of him. Sweeter than smoked sugar.
It was the sound of his grunt that tipped you over, imagining him with black strands sticking to his high cheekbones with sweat. The apples of his face candy-pink. Where Satoru looked cherubic, Suguru looked like a girl’s first wet dream. 
“Were you touching yourself?” you pant, coming down from your high. You don’t bother putting on your underwear again.
“Obviously,” he groans. The vibrations of his voice made the speaker blow off-kilter like the audio of a shitty VHS. “Came all over myself.”
You could fall asleep to the sound of his static hums. The chaos in your gut is settled by the time your alarm clock strikes devil’s hour.
“How are things?” you ask sleepily.
“With me?” Suguru asks. “Fine. Same as always.”
“You sound tired.”
“It’s three in the morning, sweetheart,” he chuckles dryly.
“Mm. My phone bill’s gonna be so high.”
“Get Satoru to pay for it.”
The bastard probably would, if you asked.
You don’t get much out of Suguru for the remainder you’re awake. His answers are deflective and clipped. He hangs up by the time he hears you breathing, knowing you’ve fallen asleep.
He sighs in his room, rummaging for his pills. If nightmares didn’t keep him up, then the sheer unwillingness of his brain’s tranquility was often enough for him to run a graveyard shift. Stumbling in the dark, half-dead. He’d gotten productive in finishing the video games he’d started with Satoru by himself. Not much else.
His throat feels dry. He couldn’t differentiate the tastes of anything anymore. It all tasted like curses.
___
You keep having dreams about Suguru.
Tonight, there’s two of him.
One is the image you’re used to – hair swept up in a bun. Broad chest in his Jujutsu Tech uniform. Eyes crinkling into half moons.
The other seems to be an alter ego. A cursed version, one with eyes to kill and blood on his hands. Hands that are trying to tear you apart.
When you grip his wrist, you can see the imprint of your hand on his skin. Flesh falling away, much too easily. The air around you splinters like you’re in a glitched matrix. The Suguru you know and love falters beside you, his skin suddenly sallow. Pale as bile.
When you scream, nothing comes out.
Pseudo-Suguru smiles as your Suguru fades away into ash. You stare into his cat-like gaze, the familiar of his mouth. 
“Come with me,” he says. 
It’s the last thing you hear before your body wakes you up in a sweat. You gasp as you jolt awake, fingers curling your damp bedsheets. You’re further startled by the crack of thunder as a torrential downpour occurs without warning — unusual for late August, considering the rainy season had died down weeks prior. 
You sit up and reach for your phone almost automatically, your hands shaking as you go through your contacts. Your fingers hover over two names as you swallow thickly.
A few beeps follow the push of the call button.
“We’re sorry. The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”
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ma1dita · 9 months
Text
liar, liar
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part two cn be found here-> truth be told
words: little under 2k
summary: sirius black is a good liar. spot how many times sirius lies in this fic.
warnings: slight nondescript smut!! errr cursing & another self-deprecating marauder, mostly unrequited love/being led on, sirius’s trauma response, fem!reader is too good for sirius, fem!reader has ‘i can fix him’ complex
a/n: guys… i thought of this prompt and the necklace Alex Russo wore in WoWP and suddenly, complex by katie gregson-macleod started playing so…sorry if this gets sadder.
(posted 9/8/23 & edited 11/6/23)
At the very core of him, Sirius Black is a liar. 
It’s not directly his fault, but a subliminal result of the loveless household he grew up in. Lies roll off his experienced tongue more naturally than when he’s ever tried to say I love you. So he’s convinced himself that it’s easier to live life this way, without love. If love ever fell into his hands, he’s not quite sure what he’d do with it. 
If Sirius Black could be defined, he thinks it would lack the word love and instead encompass a lot of his anger. Fiery, palpable anger, deep set in his core. That’s what he is. There are a lot of things to be angry about in this life, after all.
You’re 16 and this birthday party might’ve been your best idea yet. Your friends are dotted around your dorm room, along with some people you’ve invited from your classes. Among the forming crowd, you spot one Sirius Black. You don’t talk much outside of being Potions partners, and you get by with smiles in the halls and friendly touches. He’s looking at you from across the room like he knows you intimately, but that is far from the truth. Sirius Black is an enigma if anything, but what’s more unusual to you even after three shots of firewhiskey is the fact that he doesn't have any of his friends in tow. He meanders around the open space before circling back towards your direction as if that wasn’t his plan in the first place.
“Trouble in paradise?” you joke, gesturing to the space his posse would usually occupy behind him. He scoffs, avoiding the question, giving you a proper kiss on the cheek instead as he loops his arms around your waist. It piques your interest; you’ve always loved a challenge.
“Happy birthday, gorgeous.”
Sirius is handing you a small jewelry box, and you look at him dumbfounded. You’re barely even friends.
“You didn’t have to get me anything, Black. I just called you over to get drunk with me and my mates.” You giggle, cheeks red from the alcohol.
It’s a necklace. A magical, really expensive one. Sirius is gauging your reaction, scratching the back of his neck. It’s easy to put a price to something rather than show you all of his cards.
“Well, aren't I special? This is too much, Black. I shouldn’t…” Your soft hands are pushing the box into his impenetrable wall of a chest as you shake your head in disbelief. No one’s ever gotten you something this nice or expensive before. You wonder if he does this to all the other girls that fawn over him.
“It’s nothing. I insist. You keep me distracted in Slughorn’s class and for that, you get a prize just as pretty as you.” He’s holding your wrists now, rubbing them casually like this isn’t the most intimate encounter you’ve had with him yet. Somehow you can sense that he needs this more than you do. To be needed. He doesn’t want to tell you that you’re the only one making him smile nowadays since his friends haven’t talked to him in weeks. You indulge in this behavior, because it’s new and exciting, and who would say no to Sirius Black?
The party ends much later after you tease him until his wit’s end, and then it’s your whispered approval that moves him to move his body over yours, the rest of your clothes quickly flying off in his pursuit to become a part of you. Physically and metaphorically, his being overtakes you quickly. Deep into the night, when he’s fucking you into your mattress, the necklace he gave you swings back and forth against your chest with every thrust of his hips, every bump of the headboard against the wall thumping the final nails into the coffin. You can’t help but feel special as he lays kisses on your spine. You know this isn’t intimacy in Sirius’ world though. This isn’t love, it’s bodies yearning for connection, to find something meaningful. To string the words to define how to pass the time. You hope he finds what he’s looking for between your sheets and as he breathes into your hair.
Sirius is angry at the world and he’s chosen you to be his target. What color on your necklace can define the fact you wanted him to fuck you brainless anyways? What can accurately portray the shaking of his hands as he slaps the fat of your thighs? Both of you don’t remember, but all he knows is your naked bosom is glowing amber as you pant, and it looks and feels like you’re on fire. Lust has a way of consuming the body, both of you moving until you cannot anymore, anatomy animated by the need for touch.
He needed this, a distraction. And you just wanted a crazy story to tell. You keep note of the fact that Sirius likes it when you moan his name, and he makes it his mission for you to scream the name he grew up hating because it sounds pretty coming from your mouth. Because here in this room, it means something other than disappointment.
“Oh my god, baby, right there!”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your baby.” he pants, pulling your hair roughly as he jackhammers into you. No pet names or endearments are allowed. Just Sirius, and he’ll correct you if you get it wrong. By the end of it, you’re slurring your words and screaming nonsense anyway. You think nothing of it.
He wants you as much as you’ll have him, which, when you’re 16, you think can be made a priority just to keep his eyes on you. Everyone wants a piece of Sirius Orion Black. And your hands are stretched out in hopes of partaking in this transaction of physicality and sin. Weeks later, after you seemingly fall asleep in the boys’ dorm, James asks Sirius if you’re his girlfriend. “She’s…alright,” he mumbles into the air. They’ve finally forgiven him for The Prank after your urges to get Sirius to swallow his ego. He never got to thank you for it. Gratitudes and endearments were a rarity at Grimmauld Place. 
Peter whispers in the dark of their dorm and asks Sirius if he could ever fall in love with you. With your eyes closed and your head lying against his chest, you feel him shrug as he traces a hickey he left on your collarbone. What is love to Sirius Black? He’s looking at your chest glow red, and his hand clutches the pendant in his fist, trying to dim its light. You go to sleep instead. The incandescent glow of the pendant seeps beneath your eyelids.
You’re 19 and sometimes you wonder if it’d be easier to be dead. Good days are a relief for all to have, presenting themselves as scarce and far apart in your new normal. There’s a war going on and you think it’s criminal to consider yourself adult enough to fight in it, but you and your friends–and your boyfriend do. You sleep in Sirius’ apartment more than your own now, but he never calls you his girlfriend, he just calls you his, and you convince yourself to not worry so much about it because death itself is coming for everyone you know. You’re together, and that’s what matters, right? There are bigger problems at hand.
Between Auror missions, Sirius has a bad habit of picking fights with you in front of your friends, which now include his friends. A lot of you comes from him, which you don’t resent. They’re lovely, but they see through the struggle. They know him too well, and you go to every gathering with an inkling that they know how mean Sirius can truly be. Old habits die hard. Tonight he yells at you because you won’t let him get a fifth beer. 
“Always thinking you know better than me, (Y/N). You’re not my fucking wife, so I don’t need to listen to you! No one wants to hang around a killjoy.”
He wrenches his grip from your thigh, nearly toppling your chair over to stomp over to the bar himself. Everyone stares at you, waiting for you to react before they judge. Before they defend their friend. His behavior has been erratic lately with his world crumbling as he knows it. But then again, Sirius has never known life without chaos.
“I know it’s not… ideal. But he’s a good guy. We’re all just going through shit right now. His brother’s missing, so I’m there when he needs me.”  Which is always, you omit from your response. You don’t mind being needed though. Helping him fight his demons is a part of being in a relationship with someone so damaged. You bring him light when his mind darkens. That is not transactional. It’s something deeper, though the words dissipate before either of you can utter it at night.
Lily reaches over the table to hold your hand, with Remus pulling his arm around the back of your chair, and rubbing your shoulder. Your chest is still glowing red, your love for him triumphing over any embarrassment he’s caused you. How you feel has always been clear, evident on your chest. What a weakness to have, to lay yourself bare to him and you wonder if Sirius did it on purpose.
He gets piss drunk as you expected and you have to side-apparate him home while you insist to everyone else that they should stay and have fun. They’re not as easily convinced, but you bid them farewell anyway. You get to the apartment and Sirius mumbles a ‘thank you’ as you help him take his clothes off and you gently tuck him under the covers, kissing him goodnight. Small moments like these are tender. They say more than anything you could put into words.
Moments later, you pretend to not hear Sirius cry, but his chest is heaving and the sound coming from his throat is so gut-wrenching that you lift yourself out from under him where he was weeping into your shoulder. In the dark, your eyes adjust to find his face in the moonlight.
“Sirius?” you breathe, fingers ghosting over the tears on his face. 
“He’s dead.” he whimpers. You’ve never seen Sirius Black let himself be vulnerable like this. Not to the Marauders, and especially not to you. There’s no carnal aspect in sorrow, though it leaves one gutted, worn down to the bone.
“My baby brother is dead, and no one knows. I don’t even have a body to mourn over.” 
He chokes back a sob, and you let his arms shroud your body, leaving the red glow of your pendant trapped between both of your ribs. You hope some of the light and some of your love seeps into him. You have plenty to give, and it’s all his for the taking, if only he’d let you.
Sirius falls asleep hours later, and you’re pinned to the bed underneath him. There’s a crick in your trapezius that you try to ignore as you stroke his hair. Maybe in his dreamless state he can find peace. You close your eyes and wonder if Regulus has found solace in death. Maybe it would feel something like this.
You’re 21 and most of your good friends are dead or in hiding. It’s the night before Halloween, but there’s not a lot to celebrate if real life is much scarier now.
Over the years, Sirius and you have come to an understanding. He’s flawed, with a viciously large ego and oftentimes he’s mean when he doesn’t know how to react. But he’s human. He tries now, more than ever to quell the anger born in the Black name. He tries to be gentle, though the instinct to hurt is in his blood. You’re patient, and resilient enough to take the blows, knowing what you feel is deeper than his anger, often revealing itself as his darkest fears. You like him ‘because’ and love him ‘despite’. Your cue to comfort him is usually right before he gets the look on his face that tells you he’ll say something knowing it’ll make you cry. You’ve always loved him, but now you know why. Sirius wonders every day how you’re still with him. He’s a runner, but since the day you’ve met him, you haven’t quite let go of his hand.
Usually instead of an apology, he’ll usually fuck you to oblivion, making sure your legs shake and your brain is jumbled enough to not talk about the hurt he causes you. He strokes the fire in you, and the feeling of anger that continually wracks his being can only be satiated by your touch. His skin on yours is the best place to be, but maybe there’s a part of you that likes the hurt, his anger. It's almost passionate, the only emotion he knows how to express well. You love him in a way that only you can, despite all of that. But it all blurs when he kisses you, consumes you. You especially like it when he pulls your hair.
You shriek as you come down from a release, hands rubbing the expanse of his chest. His thrusts slow as he grapples with reality, pawing at your breasts. Your hips milk him for his worth, and he groans lowly.
“You’re too good to me, wife. You’re all mine.” 
Your ministrations come to a stop as you look down at him, pendant hanging between your faces. Nicknames were a growing commodity lately.
“Wife, huh…”
The air is heavy between you two, still connected as one while you wait for his response. Let him take the lead, as it’s the role he’s more accustomed to.
“If that’s okay.” he breathes, not knowing what to do with his hands. Love has fallen into his hands, and her physical form is sitting in his lap. His grip eases as he accepts you wholly.
“Maybe someday soon.” 
A slow smile stretches across your face. 
“Ask me properly and I’ll consider.” But the glow of your necklace is more vibrant now, and you two both know your answer as he grabs your waist and pulls you down for another round.
Sirius tries to sneak out of bed in the early morning as you doze off. You wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, bare feet padding across your shared apartment in search of him until you see him dressed in the kitchen and holding a letter. 
“I have to go… deal with some business,” he mutters, not stepping away from the window nor sparing you a glance. Lying to someone he loves is harder than he thought it would be.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” You’re standing in the doorway wearing his shirt and his boxers. He likes it when you say his name. You could call him anything you want and he’d come running.
“James and Lily, they’re in trouble. I’ll be back by morning.”
You turn to grab your wand, planning to go with him, but he’s suddenly grabbing your arm and pulling you into a kiss, stopping your advances. He has something to lose now. You’re his, and he’ll be damned to let you follow him blindly into danger.
“You have to stay here. Everything will be okay,” he says, holding your chin. The lie sits heavy on his tongue. Maybe if he focuses he’ll see the rose-tinted hue of your irises every time he shuts his eyes.
“You’re scaring me...” You look at him in apprehension, his movements erratic and you wonder if he’s cracked and needs an exorcism. Then your heart is thundering in your chest and the red glow turns ice blue. A new feeling has taken a larger form than your love, and its fear. Briefly, you wonder how Sirius lives on edge like this. Something is dangerously wrong. He looks into your eyes, and then the cold glow on your chest. He takes a slow step back away from you, looking almost apologetic.
“Sirius Black, don’t you fucking dare.”
“I love you.”
He’s apparated and long gone before you register what he said. It sounded unfamiliar coming from his mouth, but you weren’t surprised. It was something you’ve always known. You just didn’t think that hearing it would hurt this badly.
The doors of the dreary prison cell screech shut in Azkaban. Visiting hours are over, and Sirius hadn’t left his space the whole two hours you waited outside in hopes of seeing him.
Tossing the lunch you packed into the bin as you push through the exit door for the last time, you think that killing him would’ve been easier than this, but he is not the victim in this story. You at least hope he got your package, as you think that maybe you could find a different adventure now, one that doesn’t involve having your feelings splayed across your chest for a murderer to come in and kill you dead. What a fool, to know someone so intimately, so innately, and for him to be a killer.
The envelope is slid under his cell door, and he opens it slowly. The necklace. Sirius sighs, and he wonders if you’ll finally let him go. It’s what you deserve anyway, now that he’ll rot in here for the rest of his life for a crime he didn’t commit. He’s hurt you enough that even if he did tell you everything, there’s a chance you wouldn’t believe him. No one does, after all. The cool silver of the chain makes goosebumps rise on the back of his neck as he slips it on. Red. 
With all the time in the world to think, he realizes that he can easily be defined by the sound of your voice calling his name. He’s called many things now besides a liar; a murderer, a deranged madman, a traitor. The only definition of himself he prefers now is one where he is described to be loving you. There are a lot of things to love about you, after all. He spends days, weeks, months, years, keeping track. He finds new ones every time he closes his eyes.
But Sirius Black is first and foremost a liar, and if there’s anything he’s sure of, is that he’s damn good at it.
“You say you love rain
but you open your umbrella.
You say you love the sun
but you find a shadow spot.
You say you love wind
but you close your windows.
This is why I am afraid
when you say you love me.”
William Shakespeare
love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: complex by katie gregson-macleod
taglist: @jsjcue
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sopiao · 10 months
Note
Hiyyyyyaa, how would the 141+könig react to military y/n being a goth girl? But they didn't know because she doesn't wear her piercings or makeup due to stranded military rule regulations, until they all meet up at the pug. Please and thank you. Take your time.
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EHEHEHHE I LUV DIFF STYLE REQS LIKE THESE ^^
i tried my best 😭
Being apart of the task force was probably the best decision you made, you like the people, you have fun, and it pays good. Only downside of having to take off each of your piercings each time, especially if their fresh or barely healed, which could be dangerous (don’t do that kids) but rules are rules.
You never really told them about your style or anything since you didn’t really think it would be important, or if it would even matter.
When Soap reaches out to everyone and suggests to all meet up at a pub, you were more than willing to come. You had more than a handful of missions together and spent quite some time with them, but have never seen your teammates out of work before.
You’re the last to arrive since your time management is shit, you were stressing and messing up your makeup, but hey, at least you came. Parking your motorcycle and kicking the stand, leaving your helmet on the handle. At this point you realize that none of your comrades has never seen you in your attire, with all of your piercings in.
Entering the warmly lit and semi-busy, you saw them at a wooden table off to the side, laughing and talking about whatever has been going on in their lives, you see six drinks assuming they bought one for you. You decide to fuck with them since this’ll be the first time they see you in the full get-up.
“Boo!” At first their startled, then confused. Soap interested, he’s never been with a goth girl before, he’ll try anything— or anyone— once. Gaz is the first to realize who you are
“[NAME]?!!” Gaz shouts, making everyone look at him then to you, all making the same conclusion at the same time, Soap a little slower, but that’s normal. You chuckle, smiling as Price scoots to the side to make room for you, pulling out the chair next to him. It’s regular for him to want to sit next to you, he even had his jacket draped over the back rest to save it for you.
“You look sick” Gaz smiles, it soothed you. At first, you were worried how they’d think of you looking like this, but seeing his genuine expression eases you a little more. They wanted to say something, a comment or compliment, but they didn’t know how to say it properly without making it sound weird, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.
“Oh! We got you a drink” Soap slides over your drink, a fruity strawberry Cosmopolitan. It was all new to them but familiar at the same time. They always kinda pictured this look on you but never thought they’d actually see it. In a way it kinda reflected how you are in the field.
“Did it hurt?” Ghost speaks up from beside you. Of course it hurt. But you were glad that he was interested, especially because he is almost never interested in anything.
“Some more than others” You shrug, hands resting in the pockets of your DIO sweater. Ghost leans forward, arms crossed and resting on the wooden table, slight nod of the head signaling for you to continue.
“Top 5?” Price asks, his arm wrapped behind you to rest on the backrest of your chair. You’re surprised that they’re even this interested, you kinda expected them to just accept it and move back into the conversation.
“Uhh.. I guess the first would be these. Took a while to stretch these out” Turning your head to show the others, poking the tip of your finger through the hole of your gauges. Chuckling awkwardly until you heard oohs and aahhs from them.
“Industrial is second, couldn’t sleep on my side for a couple months” Turning your head to the other side to show the metal bar coming between the shell of your ear.
“But this put me through hell, couldn’t talk or eat for a while. Lived off of smoothies for like forever” Sticking your tongue out to show the small metal star on the center of your tongue. Ghost’s eyes slightly widened, he had one too (i luv referencing my other stuff) but didn’t wanna mention anything yet.
“This hurt, but after a week I didn’t even feel it” Twisting the metal bar of your bridge, careful not to smudge your makeup.
“Didn’t even feel this, my lip was a little swollen for a while though” You pull your lip down to show off your snake bites. You didn’t really notice this until now, they were intently listening, not just hearing you but actually listening. Not expecting them to be this interested since people either were a little weirded out or just a dick about it.
“Wow… And I’m too scared to even get my ears pierced” König chuckled nervously, hand unconsciously coming up to lightly pinch his smooth and un-poked ear lobe.
“It was nice seeing you guys again” Grinning warmly as you all stood outside of the pub. The snow made you wanna leave already, but the company of your friends made it bearable.
You give Gaz a kiss on the cheek. A simple and platonic act of affection. Forgetting you had black lipstick on, seeing the black mark on his cheek made you embarrassed. Especially with Soap’s teasing.
“Hey, give me one, too” He bent down and tapped his cheek, with a cheeky grin. Laughing it off as you planted one on his cheek. Price leaned in too, wordlessly asking for one.
König was still not ready to lift his mask up that high yet, but he still wanted a kiss. So you just settled a smooch on the back of his hand like and prince would do to his fair lady. After you left a kiss mark on each of them they all looked at Ghost, waiting for him to lift his mask up for one.
He looked around with a shrug, then shaking his head with a sigh, as he uncrossed his arms and lifted the side of his mask only up to his nose. Making sure to press with a little more pressure with him since there was less lipstick on your lips since it was faded.
Extra:
Omg. Imagine like showing off cool but weird tricks. Taking off one of your lip piercings and showing off how you can squirt out water from the opening. Soap wondering if you could slurp spaghetti through it.
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maliland · 7 months
Text
RESENTMENT: PT. 1
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"i gotta look her in her eyes and see she's had half of me." part two
barbie(s): e-42 miles morales & black fem reader includes: flashbacks/backstory stuff, angst, infidelity, homewrecking, & heartbreak (men being disappointments per usual) synopsis: you used to describe your experience with love as one of complexity and simplicity all at once, but after you learn what your boyfriend did at a party with another girl while you were at home and sick, your heart is left with irreparable damage and an abundance of resentment. wc: 2669 banner credz: @/cafekitsune
a/n: first fic on this ho 😓 nervous. idk if i like this so i was procrastinating.. but lmk what y’all think! 🫣 i’ll post a post a poll the end of the fic. if y’all like it then i’ll finish up the second part and post it whenever i get a chance. i haven't proof read, but i'll fix any mistakes when i do.
(nd let me ease your nerves: this is not a fic where miles cheats on reader w/ gwen. she isn’t included in or mentioned in this part or the next 😭)
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unfaithfulness might as well be a disease. not one that can be contracted, but one that stems from within. 
those who are unfaithful are unequivocally the weakest links. you? you've always presumed them to be snakes that were to join lucifer on earth at the very beginning of time, because they'd rather cause havoc and jeopardize how those they love perceive them rather than relish eternal peace in the clouds. had adam and eve left the forbidden fruit alone, the one thing that those unfaithful could've stayed faithful to was their identity as whispering serpents. alas, that's not how the story goes. and for the sake of free will, god decided they should reside on earth with those who know nothing but faith. 
betrayal isn't limited to one kind of person. whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, anyone can smile in your face, only to turn around and drive a pre-sharpened knife right through your back when you least expect it. you're left to bleed out while you try and make sense of why it had to be you.
you've been double-crossed before, but never bad enough to the point where you needed to make a huge deal out of it. it was usually stupid stuff, like your elementary friends ratting out your genius hiding spot during hide and seek after they got found, or your mom revoking her promise to take you to the park that one day after school when you were younger. your ex-best friend from middle school spreading nasty rumors about you was far more serious than all the other instances, and it was probably the worst one until now. 
you know that girls and guys alike get cheated on. you've heard stories and even seen it happen firsthand. infidelity occurs more frequently than you initially thought it did. then again, you tried not to think about it much because you were positive it would never happen to you. ever. especially not with your boyfriend, miles.
that was your first mistake—thinking you were immune.
you wanted to gauge your eyes out when your best friend video called you and showed you that photo of miles kissing another girl in a bedroom at a halloween party. 
the girl you were once worried about.
❤︎₊ ⊹
when you were younger, you were in love with the idea of being in love. 
many of your earliest memories consisted of your father reading you fairytales right before bed, since your mother was never around to do so. when he learned that you took a liking to stories that were more centered around love, he began to look for various fairytales pertaining to such that he could read to you. you adored how the love interests would always end up together by the end of each and every story. after enduring all the conflict getting in the way of their relationship thriving, it felt like a reward. you always felt secure knowing a happy ending was guaranteed no matter what transpired throughout the story. you liked that security, but your obsession with it inevitably flawed your perception of love itself. you grew up under the impression that love in the reality in which you reside wouldn't be all that different from the fairytales.
it hurt you when you finally discovered that that wasn't the case. in eighth grade, you had asked your crush to the winter formal. he had harshly rejected you, cracking the most heartless jokes in addition, in attempt to impress his friends, who were indeed laughing up a storm. that encounter alone was enough to ground you to earth. you discovered how disappointing the world and its inhabitants truly were, and how the unrealistic fairytales you once swooned over would never be real life. maybe it was insane of you to ever even think so, given the perilous city you live in.
seeing as dating these days is more detrimental than beneficial, during your sophomore year of high school, you decided that you'd steer clear from being romantically involved in any way, shape, or form entirely. of course, the universe always sends you someone or something you stopped wishing for ages ago when you least expect it. maybe something you didn't even long for anymore at all. you were perfectly okay with sticking to romance novels. you sure didn't want to put your peace on the line, especially not in the name of romance—but someone changed that.
miles.
you knew of his existence before you started dating him, but only briefly. you had an algebra class together your sophomore year, but the boy was quite reserved, only speaking when spoken to. trying to keep to himself and stay out of your school's public eye completely backfired on him, because he became the topic of everyone's conversations multiple times for a full week after his father, the former police captain, passed away. 
officer morales' death was a humbling reminder that brooklyn would only continue to grow more and more minacious. you haven't gone for a walk at night by yourself for as long as you can remember. you'd either be mugged, killed, or both. on the streets of new york, there was peril lurking around every corner. the city has more loose criminals than you were able to count on your fingers. you got used to living in such an environment, but your arm hairs never did stop shooting up whenever you had to step outside.
you recall giving your condolences to miles when he returned to school two weeks later. he had just nodded. you couldn't blame him though. everyone was constantly reminding him of something he'd rather not think about.
if he wasn't reticent and constrained to silence before, he was sure as hell was now. you tried your luck with him anyway, though.
whenever you'd see him sketching in his sketchbook in algebra, you'd compliment his skill or ask him what he was drawing. maybe it seemed a little invasive at the time, but your heart was in the right place. 
"i didn't know you could draw," you whispered to him. your desk was right next to his, so ignoring you wasn't really an option.
"yeah."
"that's cool, art takes skill—and patience," you had smiled.
"mhm."
you fell into a routine of asking miles what he was drawing every day in class. he was undoubtedly annoyed by it at first, but he eventually got used to it, and you finally got more than a one-word response. it was this conversation in particular that changed the way miles saw you.
"is that the prowler's suit you're drawing?" you whispered, surveying the page.
miles nodded and responded flatly. "yeah."
"i think it looks cool. i really like his suit design," you retorted. "especially the purple."
"you do?" he stopped drawing completely and looked up at you.
"hell yeah," you expressed with a faint grin. "he may be a criminal or whatever, but you gotta admit, his suit and his tech are pretty neat."
so then you two were friends for a couple of months. you'd do things like eat dinner at his house, help around the flat, and study together. surprisingly, miles' mom, rio, took a liking to you. she even taught you how to cook, and would let you assist with fixing dinner. 
miles had it was rare for his mama to warm up to people as fast as she did to you, and that made you feel special.
within the period of time in which you and miles would hang out, you ended up catching feelings for him, which you pushed to the side without a second thought. you still firmly believed that a relationship would bring you nothing but trouble. what you didn't know was that miles felt the same way about you as you did him, and eventually, he decided that he couldn't hide his feelings for you anymore.
miles confessed to you one night under the water tower on the roof of his apartment complex. you'd been watching the sun go down together and talking about whatever came to mind. you could've gazed into his perfectly sculpted face until the end of time. you doted on the way his eyes glowed gold when the sun hit them just right.
"you helped me open up. i didn't think that was something i was capable of doing anymore," he had told you. "i really do like you, [name]."
though you were terrified of putting yourself in a position to be played, you didn't want to say no, so you didn't. 
for the two years you've been with miles, you've never not trusted him. he's never given you a reason not to. he's always treated you like royalty, practically kneeling at your feet like being in your presence was a reward all by itself—at least that's what you felt like being his girlfriend equated to. 
it's no secret that miles tends to capture the attention of numerous girls without ever even having to try, whether they went to your school or simply passed him by on the street. miles didn't even have to lift a finger to have them drooling.
when you two got together, you didn't announce your relationship to the public like you were some kind of celebrity couple. that didn't stop people from gossiping like you were, though. according to everyone who went to visions, "miles and [name] popped out with each other out of nowhere!" and that was okay with you. nobody needed to know the ins and outs of you two's relationship. unfortunately, the obvious fact that you and miles were together didn't stop girls from constantly trying to have their way with him—one girl in particular was more persistent than the rest.
you'd be lying through your teeth if you said it didn't bother you at first, because it made you sick to your stomach. the thought of miles leaving you for one of those girls was one you couldn't bear. 
you vividly recall standing beside miles while he was situating his books in his locker before a girl who was well-known around campus, arielle, approached your boyfriend on the opposite side and 'not-so-subtly' flirted with him like you weren't even there. it was no secret that she didn't like you, so you were stuck between trying to figure out if she actually liked miles or was just trying to get under your skin. all you knew was the way she was twirling her perfectly spiraled, bouncy, brown curls around her index while she bit her lip bottom had you undeniably heated. 
"so miles, i've been learning how to braid hair," she had said. "honestly, i think i've pretty much mastered it. i want to practice cornrows... problem is, i couldn't find anyone with the type of hair i prefer to practice on, but then i saw you!"
you had to turn around and face the opposite direction just to hide the distaste that hastily painted your once-neutral expression. you brought your arm to your mouth and coughed twice so it wouldn't look like you were turning around for no reason. when you turned back around, arielle was looking you dead in the eyes, like you had done something horrible to her. you were surprised that she decided to give you even a fraction of her attention instead of acting like you were a ghost altogether.
you returned the energy, narrowing your eyes to slits. you weren't going to go toe to toe with another girl over a boy who was clearly yours. you had just redone miles' hair not even three full days ago, so she'd had to find another guy to practice on.
you shifted your gaze onto miles as he closed his locker. he hadn't even said a word to arielle up to that point, or even looked at her. when he finally made eye contact with the girl, she smiled innocently, as if she wasn't trying to murder you by burning holes through your skull with the way she was staring at you. 
you were no longer bothered by the time miles turned his head to look at you. the way his face was twisted was more than telling, with confusion written all over it. you read that boy like a book. 
"i mean, come on," arielle giggled. "you'd be the perfect person to practice on."
this girl didn't know when to stop. you were silently growing furious, wishing miles would take your hand and drag you away from that foolishness, but no. instead, he chose to engage in conversation with arielle.
"what do you think of my hair now?" miles asked.
this made your stomach drop, but it didn't show on your face. instead of saying anything or trying to figure out why miles cared what this random ass girl thought, you stood still where you were, waiting for the worst to be over. at the time, you and miles had only been together for about five and a half months. you didn't expect your first relationship to end that quickly. if this conversation didn't wrap up soon, you were sure that your head would start spinning and you'd pass out on the spot.
"of course! the two braids always look so good on you. i love them," arielle angled her head and leaned against the locker next to miles'.
"so do i," miles smirked, snaking one of his arms around your upper back to the shoulder furthest away from him. he pressed his palm against your arm and gently urged you closer to him, pointing to you with his free hand then looking back at arielle. "my girl got me right the other day, and she did a damn good job."
a smile crept up onto your face. for only half of a second, you didn't want to come off like one of those annoying moms of five who got the last 75" flat-screen tv during black friday and rubbed it in everyone's faces in the checkout line, until you remembered who's boyfriend miles was.
yours.
you had bragging rights.
"thanks, miles," you looked up at him, smiling brightly as any and all doubts left your mind. your eyes soon met with arielle's again, who was in disbelief. it seemed that you'd exchanged expressions. you were the one geeking now. 
"damn, i'd say gossip doesn't spread like it used to, but the looks you were giving me tell me you know we're together and don't care."
arielle shifted her weight off of the locker, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. she was never one to admit, let alone accept defeat.
"girl, c'mon. don't be lame. miles wouldn't cheat on me. it's even crazier that you thought he'd flirt back while i was standing right here."
"have it your way, but he's gonna crack."
with that, arielle scoffed, opting to leave the situation alone for the day. that wouldn't be the last time she tried something like that, and it probably wasn't the first either. you just happened to be around to see it that time. it made you wonder how miles reacted every other time. you were also quick to question why she claimed miles would "crack." it rubbed you the wrong way.
"she's jus' talkin' outta her ass, hermosa. she likes attention," miles assured you.
for whatever reason, that response alone didn't satisfy you. you had an uneasy feeling in your stomach for the rest of the day. you remember calling miles that same night while you both did homework. in the midst of the comfortable silence that had settled, you decided to bring up how you felt about what had happened.
"i won't lie, earlier today, i was a little scared," you admitted.
"of what?"
"i thought you were gonna ditch me for arielle," you replied, letting out a deep sigh at the same time.
"i'd never," miles promised you. "te amo, chica. and only you. i'm with you for a reason."
"i love you, too," you grinned, genuinely feeling at ease. "i was just paranoid. i know now that you'd never do that to me."
the invasive thoughts that often crowded your mind and kept you up late at night; the ones listing each and every reason why your relationship with miles would crash and burn? they haven't bothered you since then.
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©maybemymali
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toxicanonymity · 10 months
Note
Hey :)
Possible ask for you : i can't stop thinking about something that could annoy Raider. Since the beginning she comes almost everytime when he fucks her. I see this as a pride for him (it assets his dominance). In "if you want him", he asked her if she was wet.
And i was thinking, what if one time she wasn't wet ?
So i was wondering why she wouldn't be, since she is since day one...
Maybe she could be in a depression phase (because of her captivity ?) and maybe she could think about Jack. Not in a way where she'd misses him, but because he was killed in front of her. Her situation can certainly lead to a depression. Depression can lead to least horniness. And raider could be annoyed, at first, and worried. But i don't know how he would handle it. Overstimulation? (hard way lol)
I don't know if it works (it's a hard balance because we can't let him think that she's "useless") for what you're planning, but i'd love to see him lost, if reader wouldn't want him, for once
Have a nice day :)
Raider goes down on you
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450 words | Raider Joel Master List
A/N: Very interesting thought. I think his sex animal instincts might kick in for a. . . pragmatic approach.
WARNINGS: I8+ oral F receiving, unsafe P in V
Let's say you're face down on the bed in the middle of the night. You wake up, which wakes him up. He's lying to your side. . . Once he shoves his hand between your legs, he doesn't find the usual pool. His brow furrows as he probes for it.
"What's wrong?" You don't say anything. He turns you over like a toy that needs its batteries checked.
He tries again from the front. "Talk to me."
"Nothing, I'm sorry," you shake your head. "I had a bad dream." His face softens, but he's still a little disturbed. He wedges your legs open and kneels between them. He gets on his stomach and puts your legs over his broad shoulders. He plants his face and starts slowly, looking up at you, trying to gauge your reaction.
The sight alone is one to behold, his back and shoulder muscles hulking, his face determined but also a little concerned. The scar on his eyebrow. Soon he's completely overtaken by desire. You taste so good, smell so good, feel so good on his tongue, he forgets why he's even down there and just goes to town. Eating you voraciously, moaning into your folds, nosing your clit, shoving his tongue inside you like you're an oasis in the desert.
He looks up and sees you arch your back a little with a whiny look on your face and he whispers, "yeah," because he knows he's turned you on. He prowls back up your body. He looks down between your bodies, lining his cock up before he shoves into you. And yeah, he turned you on enough, it feels good, but you still have a lot on your mind. You try not to show it. He starts slow, watches your face, and pounds you. You don't look at him.
Let's say you can't come and he doesn't say anything, but you get the sense he's disturbed. Yeah, he considers forcing you to come, but when you insist "please come, I want you to come," he does. His massive pulsations inside you are almost enough to send you into your own climax if you weren't so in your head.
. . . . .
After he's come, he starts to worry about you. He recognizes that you have a lot of bad things to dream about (even if he doesn't quite face the fact that a lot of it's his fault) and maybe not enough good ones, like maybe when he's not there it's kinda boring and you can get to thinking too much. He doesn't know what he can do, but it stays in the back of his mind, and maybe the next day he invites you to shooting practice with him to use your gun. Maybe once you have a holster he invites you to go for a walk. Like, "now that we're both armed, we can go out more."
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poisonedprose · 8 months
Text
.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕷. KINKTOBER DAY 21. LITTLE LAMB
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simon ‘ghost’ riley x fem!reader
warnings: 0.9k words, kinktober smut, mean!ghost, virgin!reader, cursing, pet names (little/lamb), corruption kink, degrading kink, dumbification kink, sir kink, publicish sex, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, pwp
masterlists
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Ever since you had joined the task force, Ghost wasn���t keen on showing up on time for training. You were so incomprehensible with your small top that practically had your tits spilling out at the low neck line and your cute little strawberry shorts that you wore, and two french braids in your hair as you worked at the punching bag. Your form was almost abominable. Small punches, headphones over your ears, not paying attention to your surroundings.
Ghost tries not to, but it’s hard not to stare as your tits bounce with every punch. The guys all snicker and stare, some making fun of you while others do everything they can to get in your pants. Somehow, you were oblivious to all of it. The jokes they would make about you, or when one of them decided to flirt with you but you thought they were just being friendly.
The only thing you weren’t oblivious to was how much Ghost seemed to avoid you. He’s never made eye contact, that much you noticed. You figured your personality just wasn’t something that interested him. He never seemed to do something unless he gained from it.
Your headphones were gently pull off your ears. You snap your head back to see Ghost standing behind you, your headphones in his hands. “Yes, Lieutenant?” You ask, looking up at him with innocent eyes. He hated when you did that. “You’ve been here all day. Go rest.” He grumbled as he handed your headphones back to you.
“But, sir-” He made a grumbling sound at you words. “I don’t want to hear it when you’re sore tomorrow.” He seemed to be annoyed. “I can assure you I won’t be sore tomorrow.” You weren’t eager to protest, but you still wanted to train. You knew you weren’t the best on the team and you knew it was a miracle that you even made it on the task force.
He rolled his stern eyes, the only part visible of him through the mask. “Then let me help you. You’re going to hurt yourself. I don’t have time or patience for that.” You nodded, afraid to protest in case he would change his mind. You placed your headphones on the floor next to your water bottle.
You spun back around to look at the punching bag, awaiting Ghost’s orders. “Feet apart.” You obeyed, looking at the ground, specifically at your feet, to gauge how far apart you pulled your feet before returning to look at the punching bag. “Stand up straight.” You hummed in confusion. You felt like you were already standing up straight. He sighed and placed his hands on your waist, forcing you even straighter. You made a small yelp sound, which made Ghost chuckle.
“Don’t get your feathers in a ruffle.” He remarks, leaving his hands on your waist. “Sorry, sir.” You muttered, face heating up from his touch. It was silent for a moment as you waited for his next order but it never came. You turned your head slightly to look at him, silently asking what was going on.
“What are you looking at? Did I tell you to look at me?” He spat and you quickly looked back at the punching bag. “Sorry, sir.” You said once again. “Dumb girl.” He mumbled but you heard it clear as day. "I didn't think I needed to tell you to hit the bag. Didn't know you were so incompetent." He continues, his hands still on your waist. As much as you hated to admit it, his words had an effect on you. You clenched your thighs together, biting back the urge to whine or something along those lines.
"Is that all it takes to get you goin'?" He chuckles, clearly noticing your actions. I mean, after all, he was trained to notice minuscule things like that. His grip on you grew tighter. He leaned down, covered mouth right next to you. "Answer me." He growled. "Yes, sir." You answered immediately, ashamed how his touch and words alone made your panties all wet and left you with a feeling you weren't familiar with.
His chest pressed against your back, one of his hands snaking down to cup your pussy through your adorable shorts. You gasped to which he snickered. "This is what you get. Paradin' around in those cute little clothes. Bet you flashed your tits to anyone who asked." He degraded. "No, I haven't!" You pouted, though he couldn't see your face. "Oh? No? Is that so?" He said, condescension dripping off his tongue.
He slid his hands up your body, one hand over each tit. "Everyone watches 'em bounce when you're punchin' the bag. Gettin' everyone hard without even realizin' it, huh little lamb?" His thick british accent rang through your ears, your brain getting all fuzzy. "'m sorry, sir." You utter weakly, timidness in your voice. "Ya better fuckin' be."
Ghost slid his hands back down your body, swiftly sliding a hand into your shorts. "You like this, lamb? You like when your lieutenant shoves his hand down your pants?" You nod but that doesn't seem to satisfy him. "Use your words." He commands as he applies pressure on your clit. "Y-yes, sir." You gasp out, never having felt the pleasure he was giving you. "I'm gonna ruin you. Ya hear me? I'm gonna split you in half with my cock." He promised, pulling your shorts down.
You made no move to stop him or protest. Your eyes landed on the door as the cool air hit your soaked cunt. Anyone could walk in at any second to see you being manhandled by your lieutenant but you couldn't care less. A string of your arousal stuck to your panties. "Look at you, lamb. So ready for me to abuse your hole." He coos.
He bends you slightly, your hands meeting the wall with your back arched. He moves his hands to your hips, grinding his hips into your ass for his own pleasure. “Look at this tight pussy. Can barely stick a finger in there.” He snickers as he slides a finger into your entrance. You moaned, only ever feeling your own fingers before and they never once felt the way Ghost’s did.
“Gonna get you so dumb on my cock.” He mutters and adds another finger, stretching you out with a sting. He makes a calm pace, fingering you and slowly working you to your orgasm. But, of course, he doesn’t let you reach it, pulling out before you felt the build up you desired.
You were about to complain but the sound of his pants being unzipped kept you quiet. “Gonna make a mess out of this pussy.” He rubs the tip of his cock against your entrance, teasing you before giving in and shoving his cock into your cunt. You whine, louder than you would’ve liked, the stretch of his cock so much more intense than his fingers. “Bloody hell.” He groans, not letting you adjust as he snaps his hips into the plush of your ass.
His thrusts are rough and you can’t get a single word out. Your eyes are rolling back in your head, drool dribbling out of the corner of your mouth. “Bet you’ve been wantin’ this. Huh? You’ve been wantin’ me to fuck your virgin pussy, little lamb?” His voice is breathy, and sweat starts to glisten his skin. You want to respond, knowing he might get mad if you don’t but all that leaves your lips are whimpers. “Of course, y’have, you dirty dirty girl .”
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dabisair · 2 months
Text
toska
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Dabi x gn!reader
Warnings: soft Dabi, reader is a bit rude to Dabi in the beginning, discussions of love and how it's supposed to feel (both explanations are negative), indecisive reader, unambitious reader, talk of body hatred, and oh my god if you feel the way this reader feels I am so so so SO sorry and I hope that one day you and I can heal ; _ ; (I tried to keep Reader's body type unspecified)
toska - (roughly) a dul ache of the soul, a sick pining, a spiritual anguish; also, "Russian word roughly translated as sadness, melancholia, lugubriousness".
Unbeta'd I ride at dawn--- this started somewhere and then ended somewhere else entirely and I'm sorry.
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A flame-bitten finger traces along imperfect skin - skin that shivers beneath the touch, goosebumps pebbling in the wake.
The sensation worsens when that burning hand plucks petals from a nearby flower, all blues and purples with a splash of white, and traps the supple material between a hot palm and a cool arm.
Blue eyes flicker with interest, a flash of white heat singing the petals and the near invisible hairs on your forearm. A stream of smoke rises up from beneath his palm, long fingers wrapping around your arm when you try to jerk the appendage away on reflex.
Dabi thinks your scowl is funny - he must, given that he chuckles when you narrow your eyes at him. You don’t waste your time trying to pull your arm out of his grasp. You’ve come to know that it is better for you to accept whatever new burn you’re going to have when he finally decides to let you go than fight with him and have him tighten his grasp.
“Just because you have dead pain receptors doesn't mean I do.”
The small smile on his face is whisked away by a neutral line, his grip on your arm loosening enough for you to yank it back to your person. All that meets your gaze when you inspect your skin is a red blotch, earning Dabi a sigh. You brace your hand against the stone beneath where you sit, staring listlessly toward the city below. He’d insisted that you come up to this roof with him nearly an hour ago.
He sets his hand on your thigh, ripped up flower petals fluttering around as he repeats the action, this time with the petals, and the fabric as a barrier between the brutal flash of his quirk and your flesh. You poke gently at the skin between his knuckles, tentatively touching the staples. Your fingers twitch away from the metal, scorching hot just from the small puffs of flame he let out from his palms.
“What does it feel like?”
“Like running through the snow and jumping in a hot tub.”
Dabi snorts, shaking his head while he rubs his hand slowly up and down your thigh, “right.”
“So hot that it feels cold, like leaving my hand in cold water and then putting it in a bowl of hot water. It stings and makes me think my skin is melting off my bones, at the same time as it feels like my skin is freezing and becoming brittle.”
He nods his head, his hand lifting from your thigh to touch your chest, “that’s not what I’m askin’. What does it feel like?”
“What does what feel like, fire boy?”
“Being in love.”
You peer at him closely, trying to gauge why he’s asking - or, furthermore, why he thinks that you’re in love. You’ve always wondered if you say ‘I love you’ to people because you mean it, or because they said it to you first.
But, at the same time, you can’t be sure that you don’t feel love. You don’t know what it really feels like - at least, not in the way that it's been shown in television or movies or described in books and poems.
“It feels empty.”
Dabi’s stare is weighted, resting heavily on your body.
“It feels like a dull ache, like there’s a hole in my chest that nothing will fill. It feels like losing someone important, wishing you could have them back but knowing that it’s not possible. There’s an anguish there, so deep that I can’t do anything about it, so yeah. It feels empty. It doesn’t feel real. It’s painful.”
Part of you is not surprised when Dabi pulls his hand away from you, but it dawns on you, as your heart sinks into your stomach, that he must have been asking because he thought you were in love with him.
“... what does it feel like to you?”
“Like I wanna’ hurt you. I don’t understand it, can’t comprehend it, and I want to hurt you. It’s an itch I can’t get rid of, a disgusting insect in the back of my head gnawing away at my thoughts and I despise it, and I want it to stop,” his hand returns to your thigh, and he scoots closer, one leg dangling over the edge you’re both sitting on, “can I hurt you?”
“No.”
His huff is so incredulous it causes a puff of laughter to escape you.
“That was so fuckin’ instantaneous.”
“I don’t enjoy pain.”
“What if I let you hurt me too?”
“But you can’t really feel pain anymore, D, and that means that I could potentially really hurt you and neither of us would be aware.”
“But it would be fair. I get to hurt you because I loathe how you make me feel, and you get to fill your emptiness with pain.”
“I don’t follow your logic, but I appreciate that you’re trying.”
“Unless you wanna’ fill your emptiness with somethin’ less painful?” he mutters, leaning toward you.
You go rigid, shoulders bunching up. His lips - uneven and unnatural - scrape along your neck, sending a violent shiver down your spine as your body jumps beneath the affection. He sighs through his nose, the rush of warm air eliciting a similar reaction.
“Do you like that?”
“I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?” he scoffs, moving closer despite his indignation. You have half a mind to slap his hand off your thigh.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to react,” you turn your head to the side when Dabi decides to bury his face in your neck, tongue and teeth moving over your skin. It makes you uncomfortable. It makes you anxious. You can’t be sure the butterflies are actually a good thing as they flutter their wings throughout your stomach and chest.
It feels foreign and unnatural and you’re not sure why he insists on kissing your neck the way he is.
At the same time, you don’t do anything to stop him. Part of you hopes you can just breathe through it. Maybe…
Your anxiety grows when his strong fingers dig into your thigh, pulling at your flesh.
It takes a moment for you to work up the courage to discourage Dabi from continuing, his curious mouth moving up your neck toward your cheek. He leans back, expression unreadable save for the irritated twitch in his lip.
“You know I’m impatient,” his voice is low. Dejected. His frustration digs bruises into your thigh, and despite the pain, and the fact that you told him you don’t enjoy pain, you let him. It is better than reminding him that he’s a villain and if he’s going to be so impatient, then he should just take what he wants from you.
Dabi has always seemed to want you to be willing, rather than despondent.
“Nothing to say to that?”
You shrug, your leg jerking under his hand when he digs his fingers into it again. Words escape you until Dabi moves his hand off your leg and sighs heavily.
“This is never gonna’ go anywhere, is it?”
“No.”
“And I thought I was the villain.”
“In label only, D. You also deserve someone who knows what they want - both in life and a relationship. I can’t give you either of those things,” you shrug, the lights of the city blurring together, “unlike you, I have no ambitions. I have no purpose. I simply exist. I don’t know what I want, and haven’t known for years.”
He fishes his cigarettes out of the pocket of your sweatshirt and lights one up with a blue flicker, his movements harsh.
“So you used to know.”
“Yeah. I used to think I wanted a relationship. I used to be pretty enough to be in one.”
Dabi grumbles something under his breath, glaring at you. You tilt your head to the side, sighing through your nose, “you’re prettier than me, D.”
“Yeah? Tell me how that makes sense.”
“It doesn’t,” you mutter, surprised that he’s stayed as close to you as he has. He’s been surprisingly patient with you, “but I’ve stopped trying to make sense of it, y’know? It’s all fine and dandy until I remember I’m part of the equation. Everything about me is ugly, especially my body. I wouldn’t like it even if I was thinner - or bigger. It’s me, so it’s ugly.”
“But you think other people who share your attributes are beautiful, doll,” Dabi leans his forehead against your shoulder, “why can’t you think that about yourself?”
You suck in your cheeks, looking at him sheepishly when he raises his head.
“... you were gonna’ say that phrase, weren’t you?”
“Uh huh.”
“And you didn’t because…?”
“Because I think I’ve said it enough for one night, and you’re probably sick of hearing it. So. Um. Reasons.”
“Mm-hm. Reasons?”
“Yeah. The best. Logical. Make perfect sense reasons - definitely not illogical, or contradictory reasons!”
And to your surprise, Dabi chuckles, shaking his head as he inclines it to your shoulder again. Maybe it is nice for him to hear you try to be funny about something that is objectively not funny - or maybe he appreciates that you are already aware that your reasoning is illogical.
“Next time we should talk about something else.”
“But what if talking to me about how much you hate yourself makes y’feel better?” he counters softly, lifting his head from your shoulder to toss his cigarette away. You glance at his lips only to quickly look away when you realize he caught you.
“Isn’t that too much weight for you?” you ask just as softly. Thankfully, he knows what you mean: by comparison, your body is fine. Your body is normal.
His no longer is.
“But I understand - don’t argue with me.”
“Okay.”
“Saw you lookin’.”
You hum.
“So do it.”
You glance at him again, brows narrowing back, and your stare drifts to his lips, then back up to his eyes. He nods his head a little in encouragement.
All you can muster is to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. You let it linger, let yourself feel it, and then you pull away. Dabi brings your head to his collar, though, making you lean against him
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
You laugh airily, closing your eyes.
“It wasn’t.”
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kairiscorner · 10 months
Note
I wanna request a miguel x reader who pulls pranks on him everyday ex; dumping a gallon of pink frosting on him with sprinkles, covering his whole office with webs, purposely playing innapropriate sounds from his laptop during meetings 💀💀 (those grey streaks on his hair increasing frfr)
omg that is me to miggy frfr, i love this HEHEHEHEHEH I HOPE THIS IS ANY GOOD <333
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
you'll be the death of him. — miguel o'hara x reader
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every morning, miguel o'hara rises from bed with his guard up constantly–he never lets it down, in fact, he finds everything as a threat to the peace and quiet he looks forward to in his day. the sole perpetrator for the disturbances in his day is none other than you, the resident troublemaker of the spider society's HQ. ever since miguel (regrettably) recruited you several months ago, every day after that has been nothing short of comedic hell for him. he's been the laughingstock of many of your trademark gags–from dumping gallons of pink frosting on him with sprinkles and cherries on top, filling his entire office with webs and forcing him to halt all operations in HQ because you also webbed up his control panels, and purposely played... interesting noises from his devices when he's trying to have a serious adult conversation with the rest of the spider society.
everybody else tries to play off your jokes as cruel gags that are anything but funny, but do indeed laugh about the pranks you pull on him behind his back with you–irritating miguel even further as he cleans your mess up, knowing full well that no matter how much he yells at or threatens you to get you to clean the messes up, he always will end up cleaning up after you–hence, he has vowed to be on guard every day after that. the lack of spider sense for him is a disadvantage when it came to predicting your next move or where you are to gauge how ready he should be or what he should do, but no matter–he's got heightened senses and not enough patience to deal with you so early in the morning; he'll show you once and for all why you shouldn't mess with him so casually anymore. miguel remained in his office as usual, monitoring the on-goings in the multiverse all at once–knowing full well that you would use this opportunity to strike him down with some shitty prank again.
miguel heard thumping and creaking nearby on the ceiling, and not even looking up, he shot his webs up at the ceiling–wrapping something around his webs. "you aren't slick." he said as he tightened his grip around you he caught on the ceiling. you finally let out a groan as miguel tightened his grasp around you. "come on, mig–i just wanted to say 'hi', can't a friend do that anymore?" you asked him all innocently as he pulled you down to his platform, your arms wrapped around your sides as he shook his head. "friends don't make laughingstocks out of each other." "they do in my book..." you muttered, all pouty that miguel 'refused to let you have any fun'.
miguel sighed and turned around and looked down at your sitting figure resigned on the ground; you grinned up at him awkwardly as his scowl deepened. "when are you gonna learn to respect me, hmm? and don't be a smart ass about it, i hate it when you run that little mouth on me, thinking you're someone so much better than i am." he said as he crouched to your level and inched his face even closer to yours, his nose brushing against yours as he spoke in such a low, husky voice. you found yourself staring into miguel's hazel eyes in response, with his eyebrows crinkling at the lack of words being spoken in this one-way conversation he was having with you. "what? not gonna talk?" he asked you as you soon bit your lip, stifled giggles escaping your lips ever so often.
miguel raised an eyebrow at you. "what? what's so funny—" he asked but was soon interrupted by when you burst out laughing and kicking your feet in the air, falling over on your side and rolling over. "you sound crazy." "and you look so pretty!" you exclaimed in between fits of giggles as miguel felt a little cool around his arms—he was wearing a dress, a flowy dress that had a deep v-shaped neckline and was donning on heels, you truly were a talented designer and hijacker. "loving your new suit look?" you asked miguel as you laughed even harder, with lyla joining in and snapping photos left and right all at once with copies of herself, making sure not to miss a single angle of miguel in that outfit. "oh, and by the way, the earrings look adorable." you added as miguel felt over his earlobes and felt a pair of dangling earrings by the bottom of his earlobes.
miguel grumbled as he ordered lyla to change his suit back. "can't, this mad genius right here fumbled your suit's code up so bad that it's unsalvageable. i can make a new one from scratch—" "then do it now." "i am, but you won't get it until next week." "next week?!" he cried out, which only made you laugh even harder as he groaned and pinched his nose bridge in anger. "you'll be the death of me before i can even kill you for this..." miguel murmured as you laughed aloud. peter b and jess entered his office, hoping to talk to miguel about something, but after seeing him in... that classy get-up, they thought it'd be better to give him some alone time and take their fits of laughter somewhere else where they won't get maimed for laughing aloud; you truly aren't going to stop your shenanigans with him, ever.
tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0 @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok
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gaybananabread · 5 months
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AHHH, ok ok. This is my first time like ordering anything so I’m nervous asf. But I’d like oranges, grapes and cherries with Ler!Jax and Lee!Pomni. Obv everything platonic, and like, go nuts with the plot. (Idk if this is worth mentioning pero I have this silly little headcannon that Pomni squeaks like a squeaky toy when squeezed so like, IF YOU WANT, you can add that.)
IF YOU DONT DO THIS ONE ITS OKK, I rly enjoy your writing and hope you have a great day/ night, tyy <33
Fruit(s): Oranges, Grapes, Cherries
Aww thank you Anon! You’re all good, and love that Pomni would absolutely become a dog toy (¬‿¬). Jax is definitely interesting to write for, and I like playing around with his asshole-ness. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you Enjoy!
Lee: Pomni
Ler: Jax
Summary: Pomni is still getting used to the circus, anxious and uneasy in the new environment. Jax tries to help out, though he does it in his own annoying way.
Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!
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In the circus tent, small NPCs ran wild, knocking things over and babbling nonsense. They were like the Gloinks, but so much worse. Caine had dipped on them once again, leaving the characters to fend for themselves. Zooble peaced out, but the others were stuck with them.
It took nearly the whole day, but they had managed to contain the little monsters until Caine came back to woosh them away. For most of the characters, it was weirdly routine. For the newest arrival, however, it was more than off-putting. Pomni just felt…out of place in the digital world. She wandered around the tent, trying to calm herself down.
-
Jax was walking around, trying to find something to do. He would have messed with Ragatha, but her and Gangle were having some kind of “girl’s day.” Ugh…he wanted no part of it. 
Just as he was considering going to explore the forbidden rooms, he heard the faint jingling of bells. Pomni must’ve been “exploring” the grounds again. While she wasn’t his usual target, the jester would probably keep him entertained until something else happened.
The smug and confident smirk he always wore shrank as he approached her. Pomni looked so…so tired. Tired and way too wound up. Still, he sauntered over, trying to gauge just how upset she was. “Hey, newbie. You sane after that horror show?”
Pomni flinched at his voice, taking a second to register what he said; she’d been spacing out for most of the day. “U-uhm…yes? Why?”
He rolled his eyes, trying to act as aloof as possible. “Really? ‘S just that ya look like you’re about to fall apart. Hey, you think that’s possible here?” Jax cared about how she was doing, but he had an image and a rep in the circus. No way he was jeopardizing that.
“Shut up, Jax…” She turned away from him, rubbing her arm and looking down. The girl felt crummy enough; she didn’t have the energy to deal with his junk. 
He chuckled, leaning down and getting eye-level with her. Jax was bored, yes, but he didn’t want to see Pomni so down. Might as well try and cheer her up. “Aww, c’mon Pom-Pom! Try a smile; it won’t kill ya!” He reached out, trying to poke her side in an attempt to get her to smile. Before he could even get close to her blue side, she gasped softly and jerked away from his hand. Oh…that’ll work.
The look on his face was a dead giveaway to his plan. “Jax, no! I swear, don’t you even think abo-KYAH!” Pomni was cut off by a sharp poke to her stomach, whatever she was trying to say lost in a squeal.
“Oh, I’m doin’ more than think about it~” Jax’s voice was smug as ever, his gloved hands wrapping around her middle and wiggling them into her sides. The bunny crouched down, just so he could whisper in her ear. “Tickle tickle, Pomni~”
Squeaky and bright giggles bubbled out of her, only making Jax’s smirk grow. Pomni was much less amused, kicking and wriggling around in his grip. “Y-youhuhu prihick! Gehet ohoff mehehe!”
“Nah, don’t think I will.” One fun thing the purple rabbit noticed; Pomni was blushing. Really blushing, so brightly that it put the circles already on her cheeks to shame. So, of course, he called her out on it.
“Wow, I didn’t know you could blush like that, newbie!” He cooed, making sure to poke up and down her ribs as he spoke. “Thought bright red was crybaby’s thing, but you go girl~” 
“Sh-shuhut uhuhuhup!” The bells on Pomni’s hat jingled with every sharp jolt and tug, only making the scene funnier. Jax was thoroughly enjoying himself; he had maintained his vibe while also making Pomni smile. True, he was being a bitch about it, but it was working.
Wanting to try something else, Jax clamped both hands firmly on her sides, giving them a nice squeeze. Nothing could’ve readied him for what happened next. “Jahahax! Wouhuld you- *squeak*” 
Suddenly, his hands stopped moving, giving her a quick breather as the shock and amusement set in. After a few seconds, a loud bark of laughter escaped him, his voice more playful than it had been the whole time. “No *sproing*-ing way… You squeak?!” 
Without any further warning, he dug into her sides, rapidly squeezing them in the hopes of more squeaks. “J- *squeak* COHOHohome ohon! Quihihit- *squeak* JAHAX!” The sound was almost like a dog toy’s squeaker; it endlessly amused Jax, leaving the rabbit wanting more and more of the adorable sound.
“This has gotta be my favorite quirk of yours, squeaky-toy!” He squeezed and poked along her sides, sneaking a quick rib scribble in every few seconds. Best day ever…
“P-PLEHEHE- *squeak* NOHO! JAHAX!” While he was more than enjoying the squeaks and laughter, he could tell Pomni was wearing out. Not wanting to potentially get on Ragatha’s very-bad side, he stopped squeezing the jester. “Alright, alright, no more squeezes. That was fun, though~”
Pomni went almost limp in his arms, trying to catch her breath. She looked up at him expectantly, expecting to be released. Jax only laughed at her expression. “Oh, newbie, no. I never said I was done~” The ever-growing blush on her cheeks made him smile wider, his almost haughty confidence growing.
He tested out her neck, smirking at the surprised giggles he received. “You’re just a walking tickle-spot, aren’t ya? There anywhere you ain’t ticklish?” Deciding to be a bit merciful, he kept the tickling to light scratches, exploring the area. 
Much to his surprise, Pomni’s giggles softened, her body going almost slack against his. Jax wondered if he’d managed to kill her for a second, but he soon realized that she was just…enjoying it. Pomni wasn’t trying to push at his hands anymore; she just grabbed his wrists and loosely hung on.
“Aww, Pomni! You like this, don’t ya~?” He continued lightly tickling underneath her chin and the front of her neck, basking in the lazy giggles and lax squeals he got. Jax had no idea how someone could practically melt from getting tickled, but he wasn’t gonna question it. 
“Ihihihi- shuhuhut ihit…” Pomni could’ve had a better response, but she was too comfy to try. While he was still tickling her, it felt much more relaxing and nice in that spot. She could’ve stayed there all day…
Quickly realizing the jester was about to fall asleep on him, Jax stopped and patted her back. Pomni took a few shaky breaths, residual giggles still squeaking out in her daze. The bunny boy just chuckled, trying to help her wake up, in a sense. “You’re good, I’m done, wakey-wakey.”
Pomni was tired, though, and feeling like mild revenge. She just leaned into the purple boy, closing her eyes and letting the sleepy relaxation take over; girl was out in seconds. 
“...Pomni?” Jax’s smirk slowly fell, his brow-area bunching. She hadn’t moved in a few seconds, though he could see her breathing. Did she… That little-
Seeing her asleep on him felt strangely similar to a kitten napping there. It felt wrong to move… “*boing* it…”
Hopefully Ragatha and Gangle will be done soon…
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