#I just still have many thoughts about the Nein and how they all treat Jester and her god | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saphirered · 3 years

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Hi welcome back! Hope you’re doing well. Random question b4 my request, bc I want to give back as thanks for the great writing: are you a coffee, tea, or hot chocolate/cocoa drinker? I prefer hot chocolate and sweet tea.

How would the m9 respond to an SO/friend with a kid? Where the reader is a single parent with a child of at most 10 years old. Thanks :)

- 🐋

This took a while to write so sorry for that 😅. I'm so glad you like my writing! I love writing for you lot. I'm definitely a hot cocoa person. I hope this one turned out to your liking 😘.

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Caleb:

You never hid the fact you had a child from Caleb, if anything you’re proud of them. Though, you do know in certain company it’s better to keep that fact a secret for safety reasons. Caleb understands that fully he respects and admires you always put your child’s best interests first.

This is why when you began getting more involved with Caleb you kept your child out of it and took a good amount of time before introducing them to the wizard. You didn’t want to set expectations for both sides and wanted to protect and preserve them both should what you and Caleb had going not work out after all.

It’s no surprise Caleb is good with children. He takes a gentle approach when it comes to all things good in this world to the point of almost being afraid to ‘ruin it’. You assured him many times he was in the clear and how could his heart not warm at the curiosity and search for knowledge your child was already displaying.

With your permission Caleb began teaching your child some things here and there. The theoretics of magic and eventually simple spells. The smile it brought to their faces while they worked couldn’t make you happier. Caleb definitely earned your child’s approval to stick around.

Beau:

At first Beau is surprised. She knows children come from somewhere of course. She’s not stupid but actually tying a child to their parent let alone being very close to that parent is a whole new story. Especially learning you raised your child on your own and seeing you want to provide what’s best for them definitely earns you her respect, not having a parent with the same motivation herself and all.

The day of introductions came along and as expected Beau is the most awkward, trying not to be a terrible influence and be on her best behaviour, makes her very much on edge. An perceptive child picking up on this awkward behaviour calling her out leaving her cursing like a sailor, then apologising for said curses, even less of a surprise. You had to assure her many times it was fine.

Beau makes a promise that no matter what, she’ll make sure you’ll be returning to your child and make sure they get the love and support they deserve. Growing up without loving parents is one thing. Growing up an orphan another. She’d do everything in her power to keep you safe.

It may have began with joking comments such as ‘finish your homework’ to ‘do the dishes’ and ‘be nice to your parent while I’m gone’ but it didn’t take long before Beau was helping them with their homework or cleaning dishes after you cooked.

Absolutely treats your child as someone capable of making decisions of their own and speaking for themselves. No baby voices or cooing like too many adults tend to do even to a child regardless of their age. Your child has thoughts and opinions of their own and for the love of all that is sacred, can speak for themselves. You’re glad Beau treats them with a sense of maturity.

Fjord:

Fjord may have done what can only be referred to as a spit take the moment you said you had a child. Clearly didn’t expect it but giving him time to recover and process he’d ask all sorts of questions. What are they like? What do they like? And of course the dreaded question about your partner.

Supportive Fjord for the win. After finding out you’re on your own he’d always have your back, checking in with you and making sure you’re doing alright amidst the stress of the world and raising a child in the mix of it all. He’d open up to you about his past and being raised without any kind of proper parental figure. What he wouldn’t have done to have someone like you around when it counted for him.

Introducing them went rather smoothly. Fjord is surprisingly good with children. While some might find him intimidating, he nearly melted when your child embraced him as a thank you for looking out for you. Fjord was happy to answer any and all questions your child asked.

Whenever you’d be swept away for a while having to leave your child in the care of your trusted ones, Fjord would tell your child to ‘have the wheel, sailor’ which they would return with a salute before biding you both goodbye. Fjord slowly transcended into a bit of a father role and none of you minded in the least. You were happy.

Veth:

When she spoke of her boy she left behind you pitied her. A child shouldn’t be without their family. They deserved to be loved and sheltered from the darkness of the world until they are ready. When you told her you had one of your own Veth really felt safe to confide in you with her worries and troubles. You bonded over it really, drowning out all the sad stories and struggles with fond memories of both your families. Sadly for you, that would only extend to you and your child, the memories of their other parent perhaps somewhat painful to share.

You wondered what it would be like if your children ever got to meet in person. Then the day came. Nicodranas really had a way of bringing families together didn’t it? First time may have been a bit strange, your child being fully aware of Veth’s need for a disguise with her son, played their part well. Both you and Veth may have wiped away some tears when Luc claimed your child their big sibling from now on, and you his third parent.

Work and life are a difficult combination for Veth. She wants nothing more than to be with Yeza and take care of her boy but as long as the world’s in peril and her other family needs her just as much if not more, she’ll have to leave them behind. Knowing that you and your child are with her husband and son when she can’t be eases her mind a lot and she’s forever grateful.

It goes unsaid that Veth’s time away from children and in the presence of adults, specifically the Mighty Nein may have left her a bit out of the routines of raising a child as shown by giving Luc and your child fireworks, promising them to teach them how to shoot a crossbow and more. You did have to hold her back a little with the help of Yeza and keep things a bit more contained for their safety, but mostly yours.

Jester:

Of course upon learning you’re raising your child all by yourself Jester goes onto a rant about how her and her mom were always alone and how Marion used to read stories to her and do you read stories to your child and do you sing to them and draw with them and give them hugs and cuddles after nightmares and… You have no idea how that girl doesn’t run out of breath.

Jester couldn’t be anyone but herself when meeting your child asking about their interests, do they like to draw and sing and dance and… You ran out of breath just listening to her talk and your child replying in similar fashion. Everything went quite well and the two of them got along. Jester would be singing them songs and teaching them how to draw resulting in many dick drawings randomly appearing in your books, notes and other places, followed by mischievous giggles.

Having bought your child a lovely green cloak and letting them pretend they’re the Traveler here to spread mischief and fun and leave behind many phallic shaped objects drawn and carved wherever possible sent you all in laughing fits but you swore you heard a more masculine chuckle and saw a green cloak fade into the shadows. Odd.

What only can be summed up as the combination between big sibling, fun wine cupcake aunt and mom, remained a constant in your life and you couldn’t be more thankful to have that ray of sunshine be there for all of you.

Caduceus:

Caduceus is very calm and collected about learning you have a child. Less of a response than perhaps anyone else perviously unknowing. “That’s nice.” He’d nod. You’d almost start thinking he may have been able to read it off you for some reason. He confirmed he was, the tired eyes, and the recovery of exasperation at times but sense of accomplishment and reward was a look he had seen from his own mother many times.

“You’re weird.” A stare down ensued. “You’re weird too.” Eyes sharpened. “I like you.” The ice broke and smiles followed. For a moment you were afraid that maybe your child wouldn’t like the odd firbolg and thinking about how you would keep friends and family separate but a wave of relief went over you knowing that all was well between the two most valuable people in your life.

You’d be handed a fresh cup of tea by your child, a plate of snacks by Caduceus, all too innocent smiles on their faces but all it took was a raised eyebrow from you to have them come clean about the kitchen being covered in soil from the two of them potting new plants, turning your home and garden in what can only be described as a greenhouse and rather ask for forgiveness than permission. You weren’t mad of course, but did make them clean the mess they made.

You’re still unsure whether or not it was a good or bad idea introducing your child to the extended Clay family as you got some insight in the chaotic prank wars between the siblings and all together sibling rivalry among some of them. It’s all fun and games of course but some moments you were glad you weren’t the one pelted with mud pies by Calliope or pushed into the spring by Calliope herself. Instead you could just enjoy Clarabelle’s bug collection with your child while laughing at the other’s being covered in mud and soaked to the bone.

Yasha:

Poor Yasha doesn’t recall much of a family. In reality she never really felt like she had one until the circus, and after them the Nein. When she saw you and your child together, the unconditional love you had for each other, she felt like she finally realised what she had been missing, and something she perhaps would never have. She learned the value of such a relationship.

Yasha has no idea how to interact with children at any level and by default tends to treat them as either adults, or cute animals. No in between. It took her some time to get the hang of it but you couldn’t deny both you and your child rather enjoyed the unconventional relationship.

The wastes and hardships of Xhorhas may force a child to grow up quickly in the tribes but that doesn’t mean children outside of those regions have to learn how to wield a sword and what bugs you can and cannot eat or how to best skin an animal before eating it… It took some convincing why that was not a necessary skill to learn at the tender age of ten.

You compromised with Yasha on the fighting in the end, persuaded by the woman and your child to allow her to teach them some fighting basics because someone’ has to have your back when Yasha’s not there. You did manage to hold them off on purchasing a sword perhaps too large for your child despite the ‘they’ll grow into it’ reasoning and instead settled on training equipment instead.

Mollymauk:

Oh Mollymauk, nothing surprises this one. He felt rather sorry for you going through the struggles of raising a child alone. He may not remember his own family but he’s traveled far and wide enough to know the hardships. He knows poor Toya and he admires you for being able to do what so many can’t or won’t.

It goes unsaid that Molly is perhaps the worst of influences when it comes to people but you’ve seen him interact with Toya before and know well enough he’s a kind and caring soul who wants only the best for those who can’t just yet fend for themselves. It’s a good foundation that leads to a better person. He jokingly claims himself proof of that through the carnival and him ‘being an absolute asshole’.

Molly’s soft side really does come out whenever he’s around your child. He doesn’t deliberately censor himself but tries to contain certain words and avoid certain subjects that should never be discussed around your child knowing you’d appreciate it and if he does let something slip and your child ask questions he’d gently explain it as certain things should definitely not be described in gory detail to someone of their age.

This circus man is not afraid to put on a show in any circumstance and will happily do so to cheer you or your child up whenever you’re feeling a bit down or overworked. Whether he’s making a fool of himself, giving you bogus card readings, juggle his swords or tell the most ridiculous stories ever he’d do it without a second thought because it brings you and your child joy. You’re part of his family and he’d go to hell and back again for you.

#critical role #critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #mighty nein #caleb x reader #caleb widogast x reader #beauregard x reader #fjord x reader #veth x reader #nott x reader #jester x reader #caduceus x reader #yasha x reader #mollymauk x reader #critrole x reader

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night-filled-mountain · 3 years

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Captivity and Escape in Critical Role

So this post has been sitting in my drafts for about half a year. It’s about a persistent theme I noticed throughout campaign 2, which I’m sure others have noticed and written about before, but parallels and recurring themes have always been my Thing, and I couldn’t let it go. And with last week’s episode, and the campaign finale airing tonight, and the dominance of this theme being more glaringly obvious than ever, I thought I’d just give myself a treat and finish up a giant meta post. For old times’ sake.

So, just for the heck of it, here’s an exhaustive exploration of a single through-line of campaign 2 since the very beginning: captivity, and escaping or being freed from it.

Let’s start by taking a quick look at everyone’s backstories, the things that happened to them before the campaign even started, and how they were ultimately resolved.

FJORD: Entered unknowingly and unwillingly into a pact with Uk’otoa, which bound him to perform services he never agreed to in exchange for powers he never asked for. Fjord did not know how he got into this pact or how to get out of it. He makes his escape when he pitches his sword into a lava river and pledges himself to the Wildmother.

JESTER: Spent the majority of her life “locked in her room” (or at least hidden from sight) until the consequences of one of her pranks forcibly liberated her into the wider world. While Jester loves her mother dearly and thinks of her long “captivity” as being for her own protection, its negative effects on her--loneliness, insecurity, a lack of worldly experience and social awareness--were still apparent, and she spends much of the campaign working through them.

BEAU: Her parents had her kidnapped by monks. It could be argued that even before the kidnapping, she was a prisoner to her father’s “over-protective” tendencies and her parents’ expectations when it came to her career, behavior, gender role, etc. But most significantly, she was very much kidnapped by monks, and made her escape from the Cobalt Soul shortly before we met her.

CALEB: Where to start? First he suffered coercion and abuse at the hands of Trent (a form of captivity); then he was made to torture and execute prisoners; then he spent eleven years literally imprisoned in an asylum, and had to kill and steal in order to escape; and four and a half years later, he met Nott when they were both thrown in jail (and had to engineer their own escape once again). Caleb’s ordeals ultimately made him a prisoner of his own guilt and fear, and escaping that prison has been the heart of his storyline.

VETH/NOTT: Besides the aforementioned stint in jail, the catalyst for her entire adventuring career was being captured by goblins along with her family--and then, after engineering the escape of her husband and son, being imprisoned in the wrong body (and subsequently enslaved!). The desire to escape from this second imprisonment was her driving motivation through much of the campaign. With Caleb’s help (and Essek’s, and Jester’s), she ultimately succeeds.

MOLLY: His first memory was of clawing his way out of a grave, which is just about as extreme a form of captivity and escape as you can get. More subtly, he was also a prisoner to the expectations placed on his body--to the life that body once lived, which he could not remember and refused to claim. Arguably (and tragically), his escape from this particular prison is his own death...until Cree resurrects Lucien, Mollymauk fragment and all. Then he presumably becomes a prisoner much like Yasha was, subsumed body and soul by a mind and a will that are not his own. Until last week.

... (incoherent sobbing)

Until last week.

YASHA: She was a prisoner to her clan’s laws and expectations. Her brief attempt to escape this prison through a forbidden marriage ended tragically, and then she was forced to make a second, literal escape (fleeing into the desert)--only to be (presumably) possessed by Obann, imprisoned inside her own mind, and forced to do his bidding until the Storm Lord liberated her once again.

CADUCEUS: When the gang first meet him, he’s literally a prisoner of his own fear (and/or inertia)--though his whole family has left the Blooming Grove, he’s been too afraid or hesitant to brave the corruption of the Savalirwood without companionship, and spent years isolated in the family temple as a result. The Mighty Nein (or rather, Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg, and Nila) initiate his escape.

***

And that’s just the backstories! Now let’s take a look at each of the places the Mighty Nein have visited since they came together, and the story arcs therein.

***

TROSTENWALD - CARNIVAL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the (future) Mighty Nein and the other carnies from jail or house arrest. (Much later, the M9 come back to pay Gustav’s debt and liberate him as well.) And remember that Beau is especially sympathetic to Toya’s predicament because she, too, was once a young girl held somewhere against her will.

ALFIELD - GNOLL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the citizens of Alfield who have been kidnapped by gnolls to feed to their manticore leader (and to kill off the gnolls and manticore to keep it from happening again).

ZADASH: The Mighty Nein’s first undertaking in Zadash is to kill off the giant spiders in the sewer. In the process, they free a halfling imprisoned in a spiderweb, which leads them to the Gentleman and all his future quests.

Aside from that, their biggest job in Zadash this time around is the High Richter heist--which, yes, is a mercenary/political job that goes terribly wrong, but why does it go terribly wrong? Because Ulog, the M9′s NPC ally at the time, is so furious over his wife being wrongfully imprisoned by the High Richter that he impulsively blows up both her and himself. And arguably the most poignant moment in the heist’s aftermath is Caleb speaking to the next High Richter, Dolan, and ensuring that Ulog’s wife will be freed.

Also, let’s not forget the drow the M9 meet in the sewer. The one they capture, interrogate, and ultimately...let go. Yes, he’s killed shortly afterward and his beacon falls into their hands, but I think it’s very important to remember that the decision they make, when holding a captive terrorist from an “enemy” nation, is to return his stolen artifact to him and let him walk away free.

LABENDA SWAMP/BERLEBEN: The most memorable events during this interlude are: (1.) The M9 literally freeing Kiri from the swamp, where she is stuck in the mud and at the mercy of crocodiles, and (2.) Bowlgate, a.k.a. Caleb and Beau’s tense confrontation over what to do with Calianna, which is once again fueled on Beau’s side by her sympathy for a young woman held against her will. (Caleb proposes that Cali spend the night with the M9, which she did not intend, so they can use spells to determine her truthfulness the next day.)

HUPPERDOOK: This one’s obvious: The M9 fight a deadly automaton to free two gnomes from prison and reunite them with their children (largely to prevent said children from being taken to an orphanage against their will).

GLORY RUN ROAD/SHADYCREEK RUN - IRON SHEPHERDS ARC: ...Even more obvious. The sole goal of the remaining M9 members (and Nila) throughout this arc is to free their friends from slavery. They end up slaughtering all the slavers and freeing several other captives as well.

LUSIDIAN OCEAN - PIRATE ARC: Here’s where things get really interesting. Because this whole arc is also about captivity and freedom, isn’t it?

It’s about whether or not to free a little old captive named Uk’otoa!

I haven’t given nearly enough thought to how this arc fits in with all the others thematically, considering its central lesson is that freeing this particular captive would be a very bad thing. I do think it’s significant that:

(1.) The beginning of this arc, which leaves the whole party feeling so bad and icky, involves them quite inadvertently taking a captive of their own--and one whom they don’t treat very well. (And still don’t, for that matter...poor Marius.)

(2.) Soon after that incident, the M9 are themselves effectively taken captive by Avantika and her crew. This situation doesn’t last nearly as long as many audience members (and quite possibly Matt, and quite possibly the players themselves!) thought it would, because they panic on Darktow, go all Wall of Fire, and free themselves in a huge, climactic, desperate battle. The Mighty Nein do not take well to captivity.

Anyhow, they follow all this up with...

FELDERWIN/XHORHAS - YEZA ARC: ...another very straightforward quest to free a captive. Not only is this arc all about rescuing Yeza from a Xhorhasian dungeon, but after Caleb returns the beacon, after the Bright Queen of Xhorhas offers the Mighty Nein anything they want...all they ask her for is to let them go.

BAZZOXAN & BEYOND - OBANN ARC: ...By now, you know where I’m going with this, right? The entire arc is about freeing Yasha from Obann, who has her imprisoned inside her own body, inside her own mind. There’s a reason That Moment in the cathedral hit so hard, right? “And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.”

(Bonus: In the middle of the above arc, we get the HAPPY FUN BALL - RESCUING YUSSA ARC, which, once again, is devoted to freeing a captive.)

KAMORDAH/CYRIOS MOUNTAINS - ISHARNAI ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Nott from the body in which she was imprisoned. Beau also has a bit of a freedom arc here: confronting the parents who imprisoned her figuratively and literally, turning her back on them (possibly for good), and then confronting a major source of the expectations and superstitions they shackled her with: Isharnai, who is neutralized by Jester’s cupcake.

THE MENAGERIE - CLAY ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Caduceus’s family, who are imprisoned in perhaps the most literal way possible, being turned to stone. (The M9 also manage to liberate the Stone family while they’re at it.)

RUMBLECUSP - TRAVELER CON: Two great liberations take place here. First, all the residents of the Village of Vo are freed from Vokodo’s influence, their memories restored, their blind devotion dispelled, able once again to choose the course of their own lives. Second, the followers of the Traveler are freed from the deception he’s imposed on them, the cult he’s roped them into. Thanks to the Moonweaver’s interference, they, too, are free to make informed decisions. And I think we can also safely say that Artagan is freed from them, from the false “god” role he managed to box himself into, and he’s happier for it.

EISELCROSS - SOMNOVEM ARC: ...And this is it, folks. This is why I decided to finish this post today. Because I was openly not feeling the Eiselcross arc as an endgame. The hard slog through the elements just wasn’t doing it for me, or the frequent combat, or the increasingly complex lore, or the traditionally heroic quest to save the world from being swallowed by a monstrous city.

...Until last week. Until Lucien’s defeat. And Molly’s oh-so-improbable resurrection.

When I heard all the voices of the Somnovem whispering “Thank you” as their individual souls were freed from the Lovecraftian hivemind...when I heard Jester sobbing that at least Molly’s soul wasn’t “trapped” inside a monstrous Lucien anymore...when Cad’s Divine Intervention succeeded, and Mollymauk Tealeaf opened his eyes--his two plain old natural eyes--unburdened by Lucien and his Somnovem eyes and all of his dark baggage for the first time--I was finally able to embrace this as the ending.

Because it’s not about saving the world. That’s just a bonus. It’s about saving a friend. Freeing a friend. Freeing captives, wherever they find them. Whether from Crown’s Guard, gnolls, and giant spiders, or from royal dungeons; whether from ruthless enemies or from their own families; whether from eldritch abominations or from the forces that chain their own minds.

In the end, the Mighty Nein--and the people whose lives they touch--belong to no one and nothing that they do not choose to belong to. They belong to themselves, to the people they most sincerely love, to the gods and causes they have chosen freely. And that has always, always been my favorite kind of story.

And I can’t wait for tonight.

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khadij-al-kubra · 3 years

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Storytelling, Fate & Happy Endings

I’m still processing last nights episode (CR C2 Ep140), and much like every critter I’m SUPER emotional about it. But something about last night’s events and how they played out really got to me, not just as a fan but also as a storyteller. And even the day after, i was actually crying (still am crying in fact) more than i did last night watching it happen. At first i thought it was because i’m a fairly new critter and this is my first time watching a campaign come to an end. But the more i think about it and process, the more i realize that’s not just it. This effected me as someone who deeply believes in the power of storytelling and how it can not only effect but reflect the world around us. And because I have to get them out of my head, here are my thoughts on why last nights episode was so important, not just for CR fans but also as a an important narrative for right now.

...Yeah that’s a bit vague, isn’t it? Okay, let me explain. If you’re willing to take the time to read fellow Critters, I greatly appreciate it in advance. ^__^

WARNING: Major spoilers for CR Campaign 2 Episode 140 ahead. Also it’s gonna get kind of meta. And long. Because i have a lot of thoughts & feels.

So I think it’s fair to say that, as much as we would’ve been devastated by any of the M9 perma-dying in the last battle, part of us wasn’t expecting them all to make it out of there alive. Not even the players, I think, despite how much they likely didn’t want that to happen. Just look at the half-resigned way Liam talks about Caleb in the last few Talks Machina episodes. Or how, in game, Jester was fully prepare to die trying to stop the city from coming back. And for a while there, it seemed like some of them might not survive.

But then they did. Despite so many crappy rolls throughout the night they stopped Lucien, set free all the souls trapped in Aeor, saved Exandria, and brought each other back from the dead. Not only that, but they also did the impossible: They saved Mollymauk. Their lost friend who had such a deep impact on all of them even after his death. The delightfully charming asshole who was so full of joy and life and who, despite how the world treated him, was happily determined to leave every place better than he found it. Moreover, they almost didn’t succeed! But then they did, all because of teamwork, love and one last minute ditch effort ‘what-the-hell-have-i-got-to-lose’ dice role that none of them saw coming. And now they get to go home together, truly as The Mighty NINE.

Just this once, everybody lived! We got a happy ending!

And that’s HUGE in game...but also think for a second how that reflects outside of game too. Do you realize what a story like that means to people, especially given the year from Hell we’ve all had?

Think about it. This past year the world has suffered. We’ve all been impacted by the pandemic in some way shape or form, either on small levels or large. Our world has been at war with a virus that effected everyone and everything: Our sense of safety. Our health. Our economy. Our families & friends. Our freedom. (in the sense of our ability to travel & just be in close proximity to people without fear, but i digress) Deeply imbedded social and systematic diseases have been brought further to light in the past year and a half largely because of this virus. Some of us have lost people we love. Hell, the pandemic even effected the way that the latter half of Campaign 2 played out because of social distancing protocols. If you further compare this to Campaign 2, the world of Exandria was caught in the middle of a war that started because of social & systematic corruptions that had been rooted in two opposing kingdoms for years. And so many suffered and died because of it.

Then the Mighty Nein comes in. This ragtag group of delightful assholes with nothing to lose; these flawed but inherently good at heart and deeply human adventurers, broken and lost in their own ways, trying to make a home and family for themselves in a world that took advantage of them or left them alone or said they weren’t good enough...and they changed things.

They grew. They fought back. They found moments of silliness and peace and joy and fun amidst all the strife and sometimes grief. Most of all, they tried. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of spite, sometimes even out of compassion, but mostly just out of love. And in the end, not only did they help people and stop a war for the sake of their loved ones, but they also saved their world from being destroyed by a rotted perversion of life from the past that threatened to consume everything they cared about. AND they STILL managed to bring everyone in their found family back to life. Does it erase the bad and sad things that happened to them? Hell no! But those things don’t negate the fact that in that moment, they made it out okay. That this was a victory and they won!

Think of what a story like that means to people right now.

I’m personally a pretty spiritual person, and much like our favorite clerics, I also believe in a higher power. But whether or not you also believe in a Divine being, the Universe or whatever, every D&D player believes in one thing: Fate. Luck. Call it what you will. But it was fate that made those dice rolls that saved everyone happen. It was fate that not only stopped Cognoza from returning, but also brought Jester and Caleb and Molly back to life, even when it seemed like it wouldn’t work. (and holy shit that gave me emotional whiplash!)

After everything they went through, both individually and together, the Mighty Nein defied the odd and demanded that Fate let them save their loved ones. They demanded that the world give them back their friend; That they deserved to have their happy ending & get to go home alive together. Just. This. Once.

As a writer, I know firsthand that there are some stories we find and create ourselves, but then there are stories that have a way of finding us. Sometimes a story or world or character from somewhere in the Aether will pop into our minds one day and say, ‘I need your voice to tell my story.’ Maybe this is just me getting carried away with the meta brain again. And like i said, i’m a spiritually inclined person, so I believe in things like Fate and a Divine Higher power writing out the stories of the Multiverse. If you’re reading this (and thank you for taking the time to do so) maybe you do too. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, if you’re a fellow critter, then you’re clearly a fan of good stories and/or playing Dungeons & Dragons. So you know how fate/dice roles have a big impact on the outcome of a story, regardless of how tightly written a setup the dungeon master makes. Given all that and how organically stories tend to play out in D&D, I genuinely believe that Matt Mercer and the whole CR Team were meant to be conduits for a story where the flawed heroes save the world AND all make it home alive.

And I think Fate knew that we needed last nights battle to end like this. After all the crap we’ve been through this past year, we needed this happy ending, deserved it even! Not just us critters, the CR team too. As much as we all like to joke that Campaign 2 was secretly scripted, we all know that’s not true. Yes, the setup storyline and world were brilliantly crafted by Matt, and the character roleplaying is beautifully acted out by the team. But the twists and turns, the direction it goes, and how the game plays out is all up to fated dice rolls just like any other game. And something, some kind of force of luck, some force of fate, some Universal Divine DM out there made the roles happen the way they did last night.

It gave us a happy ending.

I believe that this was meant to happen; now of all times with everything else going on in the world. Amidst all this darkness and rot, both in game and in the real world, in the end of it all there was light and life. A reminder that sometimes people do live. They do get second chances. They do find a new family or reunite with old ones. That sometimes the world can be saved for a time, and happy ending do still exist. Even if it’s not broadcasted on the daily news amidst tragedy reports, or even tragedies that don’t get reported (which sadly are a lot, but again i digress).

Because the thing is, like Beau said, no one else will probably know they were heroes. No one will know what the Mighty Nein sacrificed to save all of Exandria. But they don’t need to know that for it to still be true, for life to happen again, and for a found family of nine broken people who love each other to go home together safe. It doesn’t invalidate that the good things happened. That at least for today everyone was saved. That flawed people were still able to do good because they tried. That they left the world better than they found it and got their own small but satisfying happy ending. Even if only for now, because we don’t know what’s gonna happen next Thursday. We don’t know what the future will hold for the Nein or Exandria when the Campaign ends or even when (hopefully) some loose ends will be tied up in later oneshots. But neither that nor the bad and sad stuff that happened beforehand in the game and in the character’s lives invalidates the fact that tonight they won. They lived.

So why can’t that be true for us in the real world?

I said earlier that, as a writer, I believe in the power stories have to not only reflect but also shape our world. This story is an example of why, but especially this episode, and that’s why i was so euphoric about the outcome. It wasn’t just a game for me, and i’m sure for others too. It was a much needed reminder that happy endings can still happen in real life, just as much as they can in stories. Even when everything seems dark and corrupt and rotten and hopeless, we can still keep fighting. We can keep trying. We can make new families and start over and be heroes in our on little lives in small ways.

We can leave the world better than we found it.

And maybe, with hard work, imagination, luck and a little Divine intervention...we can also get the happy endings we deserve.

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omniscientwreck · 3 years

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Day 7: Bread & Soup // Creation

Here we are! Finally finished Day 7! I’ve never completed anything like this before so I hope you’ve enjoyed this journey with me! Thanks to the folks who organized @shadowgastweek and I’ve loved seeing everyone’s contributions. Here’s hoping this Thursday is a good one for our boys <3

As always please let me know what you think, this is unedited so proceed with caution, and stay tuned for the college AU I’ve been working on.

Day 7: Bread & Soup // Creation

Essek knows that, providing he says yes, the moment the Nein find out they are engaged all hell will break loose.

Essek knows that, providing Caleb says yes, the moment the Nein find out they are engaged all hell will break loose. He’s not a particularly conventional or traditional man and a few short years ago he would have never paid mind to the idea of getting married one day.

Things have changed, he’s changed quite significantly. Every day he spends with the copper haired wizard who calls him sweetheart and angel the more convinced he is that they should never be apart.

If simply having the Nein for friends had changed him, loving someone and being loved in return had made him a new person. The simplicity of having someone to come home to, someone to make noise in his previously empty tower. With the relinquishing of much of the privilege of the Thelyss name, they’d taken up residence in a less auspicious district of the firmaments, outside of the gated community in which he’d been raised.

It felt good to be closer to his friends, a few streets down from the Xorhaus, and it felt good to build a home with someone. Caleb hadn’t moved in immediately of course, it took a year or so before they progressed enough in their relationship to feel comfortable sharing a life. That doesn’t mean Caleb’s tastes hadn’t influenced Essek’s decisions, and when he moved in they continued adjusting and changing until they both felt they belonged there.

He asked Caleb to marry him on the anniversary of their first date. After defeating Lucien they’d gone back to Aeor and studied and after a while the tension built. There were small touches, lingering glances, at first Essek attributed this to how Caleb treated his other friends. But as time passed eventually they would reach for each other’s hands, if there was a breakthrough Caleb would press their foreheads together and hold his face and the closeness was intoxicating.

They would have discussions late into the night, discovering and learning. They told stories of their pasts and eventually Essek opened up to Caleb completely, there was not a secret of his the wizard hadn’t heard and Caleb returned the trust in kind.

They worked hard over months and when they were done and had a reason to part ways, Essek found he couldn’t. “I have something to ask of you, it is just a question and any response is acceptable of course. I do not want to pressure you.”

Caleb turned and leaned down, catching Essek’s eyes from the spot on the ground he’d been intently staring at, “Of course, you can ask any question of me.” He was clearly confused but trying to reassure Essek with a small smile.

“I have had, to be honest, a wonderful time studying with you here. Not just studying but talking, getting to know you. I have come to realize that I am quite fond of you Caleb Widogast.” Words tumbled out of his mouth and if he stopped the momentum at all he would lose steam and walk back his confession, “I was wondering whether, when we’re back in Roshona, or anywhere really it matters not to me, if I may buy you dinner. Or we could go do something else, take in some theatre, a concert. I care not what we do I simply wish to be there with you.”

He was out of breath and he knew the effort that had taken cause a deep flush on his cheeks. He searched Caleb’s face and his heart fluttered as his companion’s smile widened, “Yes,” His voice was tender as he closed the distance between them, “That would be much to my liking. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you too Essek and I’d like to see where this road may take us.”

“Well I suspect dinner will the the first place.” Caleb nodded and grabbed for Essek’s hand and they walked together to the Xhorhasian base to leave for home.

Their first date had been everything Essek expected and more, they went on more and more dates, spent time with each other studying, talking, enjoying music and art, and taking physical comfort in each other. It had been unlike anything he’d ever experienced. To miss someone when they were away, to feel like two people with one goal, one project, beginning to build something together that was intangible and entirely personal.

It wasn’t long after they’d begun cohabitating that Essek had though of marriage. It’s interesting how casual a thought it had become in the past few months. Considering Caleb might be his husband, to willingly join himself to another. To never be alone again.

The night he asks, Caleb has just come home from a trip to assist Yussa. They worked together on occasion and whenever Caleb went to his aid he was gone for an extended period. They’d been working on something to do with the folding halls and Caleb has begun telling him all about it. Whenever he tells Essek of these projects his face changes completely, there’s no hint of the sorrow that’s weighed him down for so long, he uses his hands to talk and his features are bright and animated.

He realizes a little too late that his mind has completely wandered off and Caleb is trying to get his attention back to him. “Schatz, what is that faraway look in your eyes? What are you dreaming of?”

Before even realizing the word he’s forming he’s already spoken, “You.”

Cheeks burning, he feels himself beginning to flail at the sweet look on his lover’s face, “Caleb I know we have talked about this before and I know the consensus wasn’t entirely clear but it’s been some time and I love you deeply. Everything we’ve been through together has strengthened us. You’ve made me a better man, taught me so much about life, we’ve conquered so many seemingly insurmountable tasks side by side and with the aid of our friends. We have walked through hell and back and I know that together we can do anything we set our minds to. I love you wholly and without hesitation and I would be honoured if you give to me the greatest happiness of becoming my husband.”

At that he pulls a ring he’s been saving from his wristpocket. It’s simple and silver, two bands side by side that cross over three times at the top of the ring, polished and clean. He holds it to Caleb who is beaming and holding out a simple golden band to Essek, it’s thin and polished with a flat top and a small red gem. “Mein Engel I could not possibly say yes fast enough, I have, I will admit, been waiting for the moment for quite some time. As usual you beat me to the punch.”

Hands trembling, Caleb allows Essek to slide the ring onto this hand and in turn does the same. Essek strokes Caleb’s face with the back of his hand and they embrace, hands entwining into each other’s hair, he holds Caleb as close as physics will allow but finds even that is not close enough. They stay like that for a long time before Caleb breaks the embrace, “We had better tell the Nein, Jester will throw a fit if she finds out we made her wait.”

“Tomorrow, tonight is for us and then tomorrow we can plan.”

They kiss again and the night is filled with sweet affirmations and poetic words.

--------

The Nein arrived a week before the date, promising to help with any preparations needed. Though Essek is no longer integral to the Den’s society, there are still certain expectations. They have ensured the correct people are invited without expanding the affair to be too overwhelming, Essek will have to endure his family but small inconveniences can be tolerated for a greater good.

His mother is, of course, scandalized but he pays it little mind. His brother is surprisingly ecstatic and takes a larger role in planning than Essek would have initially anticipated. He helps them find venues, flowers, caterers (though Jester, as a wedding gift, takes care of the cake and pastries). It’s strange to reconnect properly with his brother after so long apart, but it’s comforting that his attitude towards Essek hasn’t changed much. Growing up had done them both good.

They have asked Caduceus to perform their ceremony which he readily agreed to. They do away with anyone accompanying them to the alter, decide that they will walk out from opposing sides of the backyard layout they’ve planned, and join in the middle. As Caleb puts it, “This decision is mine and mine alone. I love my friends but it is important to me that I am not being given away and that I stand alone and commit myself to you.”

“Of course, I understand, anything you want my love.”

When Essek had explained the bread making ritual that is a part of most Xhorhasian weddings, Caleb had been more than accepting. “It’s customary for us to choose three people to make the bread, I have one person in mind that I would particularly appreciate being a part of that process. My brother has been an immense help to me and I know he particularly enjoys this tradition.”

Caleb nods, “Of course, of course. I think that I would like to ask Veth. She has been by my side for years and is my closest friend.”

Essek nods, he has an idea for the third person and judging by the look on Caleb’s face he has similar thoughts, “Jester?”

He laughs and nods, “Jester indeed.”

They ask their family and are met with whole hearted agreement. Technically the betrothed aren’t supposed to be there but Caleb wasn’t about to miss the chaos. Verin was guiding Veth and Jester through the kneading and they didn’t take long to begin discussing decorations. They decided on a pair of birds for the couple with a bird surrounding them for each of their friends and family, wheat for prosperity, braided strands of dough to represent the joining of lives, different varieties of flowers native to Xhorhas sculpted for long lives, good health, and strong commitment to another. Verin taught them the traditional songs as they worked and soon before long the three of them sang together, Jester inserting profanities whenever she forgot the words.

Seeing them work was complete chaos but soon the couple was shooed out as they got around to sculpting decorations, “Brother you know this must be a surprise. We have to stick to our roots just a little.”

“Yeah plus we need to gossip about you with Verin and learn all of your secrets Essek.” Jester drawls teasingly.

They leave and go about other preparations. Yasha and Beau are arranging flowers outdoors and for awhile they chat idly while following Yasha’s instincts. Beau and Caleb head inside to get some receptacles for the ever growing pile of stems and leaves accumulating on the table on which they worked. “Do you love him?”

Yasha stared intently from her position beside him at the table, having paused in her work. She’s never been talkative but he believes they understand each other, “Yes. I love him.”

“Good. I just wanted to see you say it for myself. The two of you remind me of something I once had. A beautiful moment in a very bleak past.I was lucky enough to find it a second time, and I pray that you never have to search for this again. I hope that your happiness transcends seasons and years and spreads farther than the horizon.”

She’s soft spoken, but he can tell she means it, “Thank you Yasha, I appreciate that very much.”

She smiles, and her eyes light up as her wife and his betrothed return. They talk and laugh through the day, finishing the decorations for the following day’s ceremony.

----

The day of, Essek can hardly contain himself. It’s unbearable that they have to go through the whole day before they can finally relax and just be married already. He’s had his own suit and robe custom made, Caleb hasn’t seen it yet and as he lays it out on the bed. Caleb is getting ready at the Xhorhaus which the Nein keep for emergencies such as this and is undoubtedly surrounded by the Nein fussing over him far more than he’d like. Their abode is quiet, Verin is getting ready in the guest room and is likely much less tense than Essek finds himself. He prepares in silence, going over his vows and wondering what Caleb will wear. He himself has a clean black suit, embroidered on the lapels in the same style as his preferred cloak. The cut is slim and it fits perfectly. The shirt is a deep plum and he has a silken black tie and pointed, shined black shoes. He wears the stole of his Den, his mother’s only request, and begins to properly prepare himself. He adorns his features in black and silver makeup, elongating the eye and adding a little drama. This ritual always calms Essek and today is no exception.

He’s taken his time getting ready and as he fastens his earrings in place, he’s alerted to a presence at his home. As he’s about to move to get the door, Verin calls out that he is taking care of it. Not long after, there’s a knock at his door, “Essek, it’s Veth. I know it’s getting close but may I speak with you?”

Veth. The one it’d been hardest to get to come around. Eventually she seemed to have let go but she still made Essek quite nervous. Far more so than even Beau, “Yes of course, come in.”

He turns to face her, she’s in a beautiful pink dress, makeup done and hair braided elaborately and adorned with flowers. “You look lovely, to what do I owe the pleasure of your presence?”

“You don’t have to be so formal with me. I just wanted to, I don’t know, speak with you briefly.” He gestures for her to sit in the twin chairs by the window, normally reserved for him and Caleb.

As they sit he folds his hands, trying to hide his fidgeting, “What is on your mind?”

“Well, I know this is a bit of a cliche, and the others have probably already talked with you but I feel I have to say it myself. It took me a long time to trust you, after what you did to my husband and then when we found out about the war crimes, I honestly wanted to be rid of you.

“I promise it gets better, just hear me out. I’ve been through a lot with Caleb. I’ve been by his side for some of his biggest moment and he’s been with me through some of the hardest times of my life. Our bond is forged by fire and nothing will break it. I care about him more than I can describe, he’s my boy and I am his protector.

“You have proven yourself to be worthy of him. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, I’ve heard his stories about you, about your life and what you are building together. I don’t know that I entirely understand, but you make him happy in a very profound way and that’s all I want. You two fucking nerds are clearly very much in love and anything that can make two people so happy must be good. It’s what we fought together for, so that these moments would continue, and for as long as you make Caleb happy I will be thankful for your presence in our lives.”

There’s a long pause as Essek collects his thoughts, “Veth Brenatto I thank you immensely. There is not much more I can say but please know that this is not something that comes easily or lightly to me. I am making a commitment and I keep my promises.”

“I know. But now you’re not only promising to him, you’re promising to me. You’d better make good on that promise or I swear I will make your life a living hell and you know I can.”

“Like I said, I never break my promises. I wouldn’t stand a chance against you.”

She laughs, “Oh no, you’re weaker than Fjord it would take me about a day.”

He smiles back at her, “People will be arriving soon, I’d prefer to continue alone if you don’t mind. Please, feel free to stay and wait if you’d like.” She nods and exits the room and he turns back to the mirror and makes a few final touches before heading down to nervously await Caleb.

-----

The ceremony begins, Caduceus stands at the head of the aisle, the Nein and their loved ones are seated, and music from the hired bards begins to soar over the yard. His mother is at the very back, she will be first to see him and likely first to leave as well.

He tries to stop thinking about her and keeps his eyes on the ground. They promised not to look until they were to begin walking and it was taking all his discipline to keep his eyes trained on the grass. It’s dark in Xhorhas but the flower fixtures and garlands are accentuated by globules of light, he’d allowed Jester to place them to create the best atmosphere. She took great care and her sensibilities had always been spot on.

The song changed and finally, Essek could look up. Just seeing Caleb he felt tears stinging at his eyes. Clean shaven, auburn hair braided back with carefully placed flowers accentuating his bright eyes, lit up with wonder and excitement. He’s wearing a traditional wizard’s robe, it looks like he went to the same tailor who did his own embroidery. The robe is a bright white and adorned with gold thread, intricate designs spiraling across the edges. It’s slightly parted in the front to reveal a well fitting black suit, deep red tie, and a flower with a small white ribbon tied to it fastened to his lapel. As they walked towards each other, joined hands, and stepped together to the altar, Essek couldn’t take his eyes away. Approaching Caduceus they dropped each other’s hands and stood on either side of the Firbolg as he touched their shoulders, initiating the ceremony, and began to speak.

“Hey everybody, we are here today to join these two wizards in marriage. Never in my life have I met two people more in need of love and more transformed by it. I don’t want to prolong this more than necessary, before me are two people who are so in love they’re letting us see it plainly on their faces and I think making them wait would be grossly unfair. So Caleb, your vows?”

Caleb unfolded a small piece of paper from a pocket, “I have a near perfect memory but, I want to get this right,” he mutters, he looks at Essek like he’s worried the bubble will burst at any moment and continues a little louder, “Essek Thelyss, you and I we have been through a great many things. We have stared armageddon in the face and we have walked out hand in hand. Through any trial, through any day good or bad, I know that if you stand at my side we can, together, face anything that comes our way. I look forward to the rest of this day and the rest of the days to come and I know there is no place I would rather be than at your side through battle, study, hell or high water. I love you, Essek Thelyss and I will never tire of telling you.”

All Essek can do is watch, he doesn’t fidget, he nearly forgets to breathe as Caleb’s words wash over him and he smiles. He hardly even cares how he looks to those in attendance, for once he can’t mitigate the lopsided grin that comes naturally to him and though he hasn’t cried in years he is having trouble holding tears in now.

As Caleb finishes and Caduceus gestures to him he begins to speak, “Caleb Widogast, this kind of thing does not come easy to me. I am not used to speaking directly and for a long time I couched my feelings in metaphor praying you would understand without my full commital to how I felt about you. Now I can plainly say that I love you, I have loved you for a long time. You have fundamentally changed me as a person, you’ve helped me understand a great many things and I am better now than I have ever been because of you. Through you I learned friendship, patience, happiness, and love. You and your friends well, I don’t know that I can explain the effect you’ve had on me but I am freer now than I have ever been. To you I promise my unending support, my aid in anything you should ask, a partner in your pursuits, and your life. Come what may, I will always love you.”

A few tears had escaped and Caleb’s eyes glistened back at him. They both looked to Caduceus who looked truly proud as he looked back and forth between them, he posed a few questions standard in both the empire and in the dynasty and at the end he declared, “This union is not the ending of two separate lives, but the joining and creation of one life shared by two. I know I speak for everyone when I say, finally, I pronounce you wed.”

A warm breeze blew through the yard, carrying the sweet scent of flowers and tousling Essek’s hair, and as Caduceus’ hands left their shoulders Essek wrapped his arms across Caleb’s shoulders as his husband pulled him in by the waist and their lips locked in a kiss. Jester broke the silence, cheering loudly as their friends and family joined in, the Nein far rowdier than the rest who clapped politely. They shakily added rings they’d picked out weeks ago, matching and complimentary to their previously decided on jewelry.

As they pulled back, Essek looked at Caleb who had tears running down his face and Essek swept them away as Caleb leaned up to kiss his forehead. Their family began to gather around and offer congratulations but Essek’s eyes couldn’t leave Calebs as the human cradled his face and whispered a simple, “I love you.” and Essek returned, having practiced the phrasing and pronunciation meticulously to get it right, “Ich liebe dich.” Caleb smiled and kissed him chastely again, before they opened up to their friends and began the nights’ festivities.

#shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #critfic #critical role #fanfiction #shadowgastweek2021 #romance #wedding fic #this is just pure self indulgence #i love these wizards and i want them to be happy so i will continue to invent realities where that is the case #excuse how cheesy this is #i just love love.

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grayintogreen · 2 years

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Rewatching The Travelercon arc and First of all Love Artagan so fucking much, but one subtle thing I love is the relationship between Caleb and Artagan.

They both love Jester in their own ways, but unlike some of the Mighty Nein they don't see her as Naive or treat her likea child. They trust her, and her ability to make decisions for herself, and they don't just perceive her choosing to see good in the world as being ignorant to the bad.

Like they way Caleb was more open and less hostile, while still being wary of Artagan because he trusts Jester and her ability not only to choose "good" people, but also how she can take a not so great person and make them better.

And how both of them make all sorts of beautiful Magic for her.

I don't know I just like two Chaotic Gingers who love a blue Tiefling.

Disclaimer for me (not you anon, you're valid and very polite and share my exact feelings), but I value every relationship Jester has with the M9 and Artagan and some tertiary non-Nein members and think they all offer different things for her and could easily be romantic or platonic, so I just wanna get that out of the way, because not liking how everyone handled the Artagan situation does not mean I don't value Jester's relationships with those characters. This shouldn't need to be said and I don't maintag my asks anyway and I'd like to think my blog is a safe space for complex opinions, but, unfortunately, nuance is dead.

Also I don't wanna say one thing and then get a bunch of people either going BUT YOU WRITE FJORESTER!! OR LET ME DISS THIS ENTIRE SHIP/CHARACTER IN YOUR ASKS. Or HOLY SHIT YOU'RE A WIDOJES??? Because we don't do that here. I am a multishipper and a supporter of all characters. I just have favorites.

OKAY WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY... Boy, TravelerCon was a giant who's who of which party members believe Jester isn't a good read on people (some were projecting way too hard though), and that's all I'm gonna say about that, because even though I damn well knew that Artagan choked a guy to death for fun in Campaign One, I fully trusted his relationship with Jester from the first time he revealed himself. I trusted him more when I knew he was Artagan then I did when I just assumed he was, because, like... For a chaotic being, Artagan is predictable. What could he be using Jester for? He doesn't even like being a god. So I kinda spent that whole arc being OH MY GOD, GET OFF JESTER'S ASS ALREADY? ARTAGAN'S GREAT.

BUT I love how Caleb handled it and I love the very likely WHY he handled it very well. First of all, Caleb has always been a big believer in fairy tales. He cherishes this one story from his childhood where fey are nice and kind and don't steal children from their mothers and showed it to Jester BECAUSE it mirrored her own life (and because he's a victim of the other side of it- Trent isn't fey, but you could rewrite the entire Blumendrei story as a Changeling Tale and barely change a thing). He knows what the VERY thing that everyone else is suspicious of Artagan of looks like and what Artagan is doing is Not That.

Also Caleb recognizes that Jester was a lonely girl who made a fey friend. Isn't that what he did with Frumpkin when he was scared and alone in the world? He sees so many facets of that relationship and that puts him in a unique position to trust Jester AND Artagan.

She loved him when she knew the worst of him, even though he was terrified she wouldn't, and that helped him want to be better, and if she could do that to HIM, who thought he was too far gone, then why couldn't she do it to someone like Artagan?

#my asks

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tiamat-zx · 2 years

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Febuwhump 2022 Masterpost

It’s all done! I’ve filled all 28 prompts! And just for good measure, ten of them are also combined with the alternate prompts. And being a Critter, they are all CR-themed. Beware of spoilers if you haven’t finished Campaign 1 OR Campaign 2.

AO3 Masterlist: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2740150

As for the individual stories... here we go, day by day. Be sure to mind the tags in each story before you read, please. And many of these stories are within their own continuity, something I might organize into a proper list in the future. But for now, the STORIES!!!

And thanks to @febuwhump for putting this together. I had a lot of fun rising to the challenge of all these prompts. 56,000 words over 28 stories?

I think I did pretty damn good!

The Sting of an Ant | head wound The feeblemind moment from “The Deceiver’s Stand”... but from Raishan’s perspective.

Old Burdens and New Beginnings | failed rescue attempt The day before Zeenoth’s trial, Beau and Yasha comfort each other over feelings of guilt.

Eye for an Eye (From Nein to Nine) | blood loss Molly’s death against the Iron Shepherds, and his final thoughts...

Cold Comforts Before Warmer Welcomes | nightmares Yasha has a nightmare of what could’ve happened if she failed to save Beau from Lucien’s grasp.

Everything’s Better With Pancakes | “let me see” + “I’ll never forgive you” Clara Lionett is brought to her daughter’s home. Yasha sizes her up to truly “see” her. Direct sequel to “Sticks, Stones, and Fates Disowned” from Whumptober 2021.

Frigid Woe, They Bane is Beau (Part 1) | hypothermia A mishap in Aeor leaves Caleb and Essek exposed to and contracting Frigid Woe. And Beau is the only one capable of finding the antidote before time runs out.

‘Cause it'll never go away (Until the fear that you are runnin' from is finally embraced, face to face) | used as an experiment On the day that Trent is brought to the Cobalt Soul, Caleb pens one last letter, just in case. Song title is from “Face to Face” by Garth Brooks. (I just thought the lyrics made for a good title, that’s all)

The Lion’s Snare | no anesthesia TJ Lionett gets ambushed by a jealous fellow Cobalt Soul initiate. He treats his own injuries before his sister finds him. Future fic.

Ice Breaker to Remake Her | kidnapped While snowed in and left alone in the house, Beau and TJ talk about the one person they had been wanting to avoid discussing: their father. References the events of “Transaction Complete”, also from Whumptober 2021.

Never Too Late | “how long has it been?” Beau has a stressful day at work. Clara is there to help her relax. They muse over how lucky they are, and lament the time they lost.

Rocks Fall, Everyone Cries | suffocation + buried alive Something unfortunate befalls a child along the Wuyun Gorge en route to Nicodranas. His salvation shows up in the form of someone unexpected.

A Venom As Sweet As Honey | spiked drink There are perks to being a badass bitch who is immune to poison, beyond being the occasional taste-tester. It can even help in making friends with someone. Especially if said friend was once someone who loved your brother.

Hair-Trigger Trauma | won’t regain consciousness + friendly fire The Mighty Nein recuperate after beating the Iron Shepherds. But Nott is too wired to fall asleep as she is still processing everything...

What Could Have Been | can’t go home The Mighty Nein have said what goodbyes they could, and so they bed down in the dome, just a day out of Essek’s outpost. It doesn’t mean that all loose ends have been resolved. One of them just happens to be what could have been, thus prompting a deep fireside conversation between three close friends.

The Eye in the Storm | hidden scars + left behind At some point during the Ball-Eater’s voyage to a temple of Uk’otoa, Yasha had an encounter with a lightning creature, a test from the Stormlord, perhaps. Afterward, she confided in Jester and Caduceus with a secret that she hadn’t told anyone before. But what if they weren’t the only ones?

Paying It Forward | "does that hurt?” “A long time ago, I was a wayward girl with no direction, was angry, and fighting at the world. And someone did this for me.” Astrid decides to pay it forward as well. A sequel to “A Venom As Sweet as Honey”.

Frigid Woe, Thy Bane is Beau (Part 2) | self-inflicted wound Beau manages to infiltrate Salsvault, but finds that in order to survive, she might have to take risks. And some risks might end up doing more harm than good.

Theater of the Mind, Captive Audience of One | forced to watch + black eye “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” But not all players are able to grace the stage, instead forced to watch from the gallery… Five times that Yasha had been trapped within her own mind… and one time where she was free to be herself once more.

Halfling Love | delirium Luc wakes up back home in Nicodranas after a harrowing experience in the marketplace. How did he get through it? And who had kept him safe? It’s all because of two mothers: the one he knows and the one he has yet to know… Happens concurrently with “Ice Breaker to Remake Her”.

Unlike A Steel Trap | caged An amnesiac pit fighter gets a renewed lease on life... courtesy of Greater Restoration.

A Wayward Soul, Lost and Found | "help them” Beau infiltrates an underground pit fighting operation. Her goal? To get someone dear back where they belong. Follow-up to “Unlike a Steel Trap”.

A Friend In Need | restrained + blindfolded An old friend of the Mighty Nein gets in trouble, but is thankfully rescued. This results in a long overdue reunion.

“Follow your own advice. Don't go.” | “don’t leave!” In the middle of a bog in the peaks of Mount Mentiri, a broken soul contemplates why she’s still here, with the people she considers her second family. She also wonders… why hasn’t she left yet anyway?

Frigid Woe, Thy Bane Is Beau (Part 3) | too weak to move + natural disaster It’s been quite some time since Beau left the outpost. The wizards’ condition has been worsening as a storm blows outside. As Essek is nearing total freezing, Caleb begins fearing the worst, as a stone flickers in the other room…

Broken, But Not Lost | muffled screams + trapped under a collapsed building The aftermath of Days 20 and 21.

Phantom Pain | “please don’t do this” + shrapnel Caleb has a nightmare that feels all too real, especially considering what he is dreaming about...

Cleansing | shower (rain) breakdown Caleb Widogast and Beauregard Lionett. Siblings in all but blood. And they are so alike in so many ways… including the resolution of their pasts.

Homecoming | presumed dead + “I dreamt you were alive” The Voice of the Tempest has done nothing but give and give, never one to take but instead having much be taken. It’s about time that Fate gives something back…

#febuwhump #febuwhump2022 #masterpost #completionist #critical role #critical role spoilers

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shenonagons · 2 years

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Day Five: "Let Me See" (C2)

Read here on AO3

Summary: After a difficult battle, Beau notices an exhausted Jester trying to tend to her own injuries. After all, who heals the healer?

...Beau. Beau does. At least in this case.

(I missed yesterday due to another project, so you get two chapters today!)

Beau flopped backward onto her bed with a loud groan. “That sucked, dude.”

She could hear Jester puttering around their shared room at the Xhorhaus, though the tiefling seemed restless. And, really, who could blame her? It seemed like every time the Mighty Nein got involved with something they either wiped the floor with their enemy, or half of them went unconscious and they barely scraped through. This had been one of the second times, with Jester and 'Duceus, plus Fjord and Yasha, burning through all of their healing magic just to keep the Nein on their feet.

Beau had been so sure they were goners when Yasha went down, but Veth and Caleb had held those creepy mutant bugbears off long enough for Jester to bring the barbarian woman back. And then, of course, the squishy wizard had gotten it next...and no matter how many times it happened, it still terrified Beau. She didn't want to lose any of her family.

Which brought her back to Jester's odd behavior now. Usually her roommate would have flopped down on her own bed, loudly complaining about how exhausting it was to be the cleric, and asking if Beau thought they could get pastries delivered so she never had to move again. Or at least brushing her hair out and taking off her mud-splattered clothing. Or even digging a novel out of her bag and asking if Beau wanted to hear all the good parts.

“Jessie?” Beau propped herself up on her elbows to look at her friend. Jester was sitting on the chair at their small dressing table, her pink haversack in her lap, digging through the pockets. “You okay?”

“I'm fine, Beau,” Jester replied tiredly. “You should get some sleep.”

Something in her friend's tone was off. With another groan, Beau struggled up to sit on her bed and really look at Jester. The tiefling had removed her boots, but still wore her travel-stained cloak. Usually by now she would have thrown everything off and started calling for Vedalla to take their clothes to be cleaned—yes, Caleb, yours too. Instead she was perched stiffly in the chair, tugging a healer's kit out of her bag.

Fuck. Beau hadn't even thought about Jester being injured. With those buff little hamster unicorns swirling around her while she brought Caleb back from the brink of death again, Jessie always seemed so untouchable.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Beau stumbled to her feet and crossed the room, catching Jester's haversack before she could drop it. “Where are you hurt?”

Jester stared up at her with a tired smile. “It's nothing, I can handle it.”

“Yeah, yeah, you're the cleric,” Beau waved a hand. “Come on, Jessie. Let me see.”

She hesitated another moment, but Beau just planted her hands on her hips and stared her down. After a few moments Jester sighed and handed the healer's kit up to Beau.

“It really isn't that bad,” she protested weakly as she unbuttoned her cloak. Now that she was closer, Beau could see dried blood staining one side of the dark green fabric. When Jester peeled it away she could see the tears in her friend's dress—four rough, parallel lines where she'd been clawed by one of those things.

“Not bad at all,” Beau agreed cheerfully, though this was the kind of wound that could easily turn bad if it wasn't treated.

“I was just gonna wrap it up for tonight, you know?” Jester was struggling with the fastenings on her dress now, and Beau gently moved her hands away to take care of that herself. “I can heal it for real in the morning, and anyway the rest of you needed healing more than me.”

“Yeah, and we needed your big spells, too,” Beau replied. She peeled the fabric back and frowned at the torn skin underneath. “You really saved our asses back there.”

Jester sighed, then flinched when the movement pulled at her wounded side. “Not enough.”

“We all made it back, that's a win in my book.” Barely, but still. They were all alive tonight, mostly thanks to Jester and Caduceus. And yeah, Fjord's leg had been pretty messed up, but technically the bones were all back on the inside, even if 'Duceus still needed to work on it more tomorrow. And Caleb probably would have carried Veth home anyway after everything they'd been through...and Yasha didn't always sleep so good, so they were used to seeing her sit on the balcony with a sword in her lap. They'd pulled through by the skin of their teeth, and were all reasonably shaken up over it.

“I know, I just wish I could do more.”

Beau couldn't help but smile. She dragged their little wash stand over to Jester's side and filled it from the pitcher, wetting a towel to wipe away the blood an mud around Jester's wounds. “I think we all feel like that right now. But we're getting better, right? Six months ago those things would have wiped us out, and now they only almost killed us.”

Jester hmm'd in response, carefully holding her shift out of the way so Beau could tend to her side. The claw marks were angry, with swollen edges that were turning Jester's skin a dark purple. Probably not poisoned, though; just dirty. They weren't bleeding as much as they were just raw now, but if Jester moved around too much they'd open right back up.

“Planning on a bath tonight?” Beau asked. She dug a little pot of salve out of the healer's kit and started smearing it over the gashes. “If not I'll go ahead and wrap this up so you can get some sleep.”

“I just want to get the mud off for now,” Jester replied. “I can just wipe it off and get a bath in the morning. Maybe Vedalla can run out for pastries when we wake up.”

“There's my Jessie,” Beau teased. She pressed a pad of clean cloth to Jester's wound and carefully wrapped bandages around it to hold it in place, then kissed the top of the bandages with a loud, theatrical smack. “There you go!”

Jester heaved out a relieved sigh and lowered her arms. “Thank you, Beau. That feels much better.”

Beau stood up and stretched her arms over her head, then hooked one arm around Jester's shoulders to tug the other woman close. Jester's head ended up lodged right beneath Beau's rib cage, but the tiefling's arms wrapped around Beau's waist to return the hug.

“We're all okay,” she murmured, running her free hand through Jester's hair to dislodge some of the detritus that was stuck in the blue curls. “We're safe now, and everyone's gonna be just fine. You did great today, Jessie.”

Jester sniffed and nodded against Beau's stomach. “Thank you, Beau.”

She rested her chin top of Jester's head and just held her for a moment, her own relief that their little family was safe tonight rolling through her. “'Welcome, Jess.”

#febuwhump 2022 #febuwhumpday5 #critical role #campaign 2 #the mighty nein #fanfic #jester lavorre #beauregard lionett #jester and beau friendship #hurt jester #hurt/comfort

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peach-the-owl · 4 years

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When You Get Hurt

Child of the Nein (Mighty Nein & Child!Reader)

I'm sorry if it’s taking me so long to get my works out recently, but unfortunatly life doesn’t slow down so it can be hard to find the time to write sometimes. I’ll still do my best to work on my writing whenever I can tho, I don’t want you to think I’ve quit on y’all 😁

Jester

You could be a little clumsy sometimes getting scrapes on your arms and knees, but Jester's always there to help kiss your boo-boos better. Now getting attacked and injured when engaging in battles was an inevitable outcome and while she tries, Jester can’t always be by your side in those situations. However, thankfully you knew some of your own healing spells, just in case, and you knew how to defend yourself pretty well too. Though if you were to fall unconscious she’d use as much magic needed to make sure you were stable, before she’d call down the wrath of the Traveler himself to exact her revenge on the sorry soul who dared to hurt her sweet little trickster. Once you wake up you'd hear a joyful, and familiar squee as Jester showers you with hugs and bunny kisses, and you’re always happy to return the sentiment.

Nott

You are very nimble, squeezing yourself into spaces people wouldn’t think to look in when doing recon, often getting scrapes on your hands and knees afterwards. Nott will always check you over twice to make sure there isn’t any concerning cuts on you that may have been overlooked. When it comes to battles you prefer to stay back and watch, waiting for the right moment to strike then quickly hide again. You're also extremely hard to hit, being a smaller target and able to hide most anywhere, but that doesn't mean you’re unhitable. It doesn’t take much to knock you unconscious either, you may be small and fast but you were also weaker then everyone else. When this happens, it doesn’t matter how drunk or sober Nott is, the second you’re out her instincts kick in and she’ll go mother bear on anyone who tries to get close to you until you’re in the safe hands of one of the clerics. When you wake up, you normally find Nott at a tavern bar trying to drink away her worries, once she sees you she'll scoop you into a hug and check you over again, one can never be too sure if you’re really ok or not. After that you both might go out and snag some shiny coin or trinkets from some miserable, snobby rich people.

Caleb

You try to watch your step and be careful but even still you’ll sometimes end up getting a small cut or scrape on you, Jester or Caduceus normally help patch it up, you already knowing Caleb wouldn't do stuff like that, being so reserved. Since Caleb never taught you any attack magic you played the role of support, staying as far from the fray of battle as possible but still close enough to give someone a boost or potion if needed. Despite your best efforts enemies still sneak up on you, wanting to take down any support the group has in hopes of gaining the upper hand. Caleb goes into a panic mode once he sees you’ve fallen unconscious, breathing becoming heavy and freezing on the spot, then like a flip of the switch he’s using any spell he can to take out the enemy and get you to safety. The first thing you’ll notice when you wake is the slight pressure on your chest where Frumpkin is laying, he'll then get off you and wait for you to follow him to where Caleb is distracting himself in a book. It may take awhile to gain his attention back, but when you do he puts the book down and places his hands on your shoulders asking if you’re ok. You'd then spend the rest of the day with him reading to you, a smile on your face knowing that while he won’t always show it publicly he still cared a lot about you.

Caduceus

You could easily treat to or heal your own wounds with some bandages or spells, but it was still nice to have Caduceus treat to them for you. In battles you have a tendency to help others before yourself, but when the situation demands it you knew how to defend yourself pretty well. Of course there are times when the enemy overwhelms you where you can’t defend yourself and fall unconscious. Upon seeing this Caduceus will waste no time warding off the enemy and getting you away from the fight, treating any concerning wounds first before focusing on the others. When you open your eyes again he’ll be there with a nice cup of tea ready at your bedside, but not before some well needed cuddles and forehead kisses, thankful that the Wildmother granted you a quick recovery.

Fjord

An adventurous soul is one that can get into a lot of trouble if your not careful but you’re used to getting little cuts and scrapes, brushing them off like they’re nothing. Fjord knew it could be tough growing up in an orphanage, but that didn’t mean he always liked the mindset it left you with. You’re no stranger to fighting either, making you think up a strategy and execute it with decent results, not every plan is perfect after all. Sometimes your little strategies backfire and can give the enemy and advantage against you, causing serious damage to you or you falling unconscious. This will put an unseen target on the attacker by a very pissed off half-orc, not knowing what they’re dealing with until they’ve been hit by 2 consecutive Eldritch Blasts. When you wake again at first you’re a little disoriented, not knowing how your suddenly in some inn bed. You’ll normally find Fjord sitting in a chair having nodded off, so naturally you get up and poke him until he wakes. When he sees you he’s filled with relief that your alright, then laughs as you playfully continue to poke him until he makes you stop.

Beau

Beau’s not very good at the whole emotions thing so normally when you get hurt she’d tell you to walk it off and come back stronger, easy enough for you. Beau doesn’t worry too much about you knowing you’re good in a fight, using the skills she taught you to the best of your ability. However, if you were say… knocked unconscious, then she's throwing hands at the one stupid enough to do so, beating them to a bloody pulp and getting one of the clerics to heal you before worrying about her. When your back on your feet again your sure to hear her boast all about how she beat the ever living hell out of the one who caused you to fall unconscious in the first place. To you it’s just nice to know that Beau secretly does really care about you, even if she doesn’t say it outright.

Yasha

Getting hurt never felt like a big deal to you, after all you were a mini tank getting close and personal with the enemy many a times. It’s not easy to take you down, especially with the rest of the group to back you up. You weren’t always with the group though, you and Yasha going off on your own for one reason or another, this is where you could run into trouble. You may be small but you were tough, that doesn’t mean you can’t get overwhelmed though leading to the possibility of you falling unconscious. On the rare times this happens, Yasha will sprout her bony wings, hair and eyes turning black as she cuts down the few enemies that remain before gently taking you into her arms and using Healing Hands, praying it’s enough to keep you stable. When you manage to open your eyes you’ll see Yasha lost in thought, adjusting yourself to sit up from the ground will pull her away from her thoughts as she pulls you into a hug. You can feel her body shake as she apologizes for letting this happen, you know she’s lost a lot, you both have, so you assure her that you’re ok and that it’ll take much more to keep you down.

Molly

You’ve lived a harder life then you’d openly admit to many, and being in a circus for 2 years of course you’d get some scrapes and cuts from doing tricks, nothing you can’t easily laugh off though. When it comes to combat you’re a lover not a fighter, leaving the action for everyone else, only stealing the spotlight when absolutely necessary. Now if anyone dares to make you fall unconscious, you can bet their gonna have an ice covered blade through their chest the next moment, the last thing they’d see being two ruby eyes bearing into their soul. When you wake up you'll see Molly casually playing with his tarot cards before he looks over at you, having noticed your movements. At first he’ll simply place a hand on your shoulder saying that he knew you were in good hands and would be alright. After looking over his shoulder to check that no one else was present however, his grip tightens a little and your suddenly pulled into a hug, you know he’s not really familiar with being attached to people so you say nothing and just return the gesture.

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iatethepomegranate · 3 years

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We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 12

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, learns how to be a person, and grapples with how to help the other Volstrucker survivors, and his students, in a way he had never been helped.

Content warnings: References to Caleb's backstory, depression, poverty

Chapter summary: Caleb and the Nein meet up in Nicodranas, and he can no longer delay telling them of his failure to protect someone who desperately needed him. But, as it turns out, he was not the only person keeping secrets about that day.

Chapter notes: This is a somewhat chaotic chapter. Enjoy and let chaos reign, I guess! Chapter title is from Three by Sleeping At Last

****

Chapter 12: A mess of a story I'm ashamed to tell but I'm slowly learning how to break this spell

Essek teleported the four of them to the Blooming Grove the following morning to pick up Caduceus, who offered to message Wensforth to save the wizards the spell. They had breakfast in the Grove with the Clays, and got their hands dirty in the garden for a while, until Caleb rolled the aches from his shoulders and began to draw the teleportation circle to Tidepeak Tower.

“I might have to go back earlier than the rest of you,” said Beauregard. “Dairon’s guiding the monks on the Nico hunt for now, but they’re super busy.”

“We can send you back whenever you need,” said Essek.

Caleb’s next few chalk strokes were a bit more aggressive than they needed to be. It was hard not to feel guilty for leaving Rexxentrum while Nico was out on his own and people were searching for him. Essek sat on the floor by his side, knocking their knees together. He felt better, and no one made any mention of his silent outburst.

He completed the final stroke and the five of them rushed through, landing in a familiar tower, where Wensforth waited in the doorway.

“Welcome, welcome.” Wensforth guided them down the stairs. “The master is eager to speak with you.”

Yussa was already arranged on a couch in the sitting area on the ground floor, delicate fingers holding a teacup. Once borderline inscrutable, the man smiled at them as he often did these days. Especially to Caleb, on whom Jester thought Yussa had a crush. Caleb was more of the mind that Yussa saw him as little more than a precocious child, given their respective ages, but his particular fondness was evident all the same.

“Oremid tells me you are teaching at the Soltryce Academy now,” Yussa said. “Sit. We should talk.”

“Hi, Yussa,” Beauregard said, a little pointedly. “How’ve you been?”

“I am well, Beauregard. It is good to see you. All of you.”

They arranged themselves on the soft couches in the space, Caleb sitting across Yussa for ease of conversation, given the man clearly had things to say today. Essek was at Caleb’s side, slightly further than he would be just around the Nein, but close enough to be a comfort whenever Caleb’s anxiety spiked nonetheless.

Essek had been to Yussa’s tower a few times in Caleb’s company before. Given everything the Nein had put Yussa through already, the man had taken the presence of a fugitive of the Kryn Dynasty in his stride.

With a gesture from Yussa, his teapot lifted and poured itself into the other five cups on the little table in the centre of the room. Then, in turn, each cup floated into the hands of his visitors. Caleb accepted his with a soft thanks, slipping into Zemnian out of habit. He had spoken more Zemnian in the last few weeks than he had in years. It was always the little words, the pleases and thank yous, the hellos and goodbyes, that stuck the hardest.

“So…” Yussa honed in on him again. “Teaching. A step down from the original job they offered you, I hear.”

“Teaching is a better use of my time than spying.” There were more things Caleb could say about the Archmage of Civil Influence as a position, and most of them were far less polite. “Astrid always wanted that position more than I did anyway.”

“Good. You might survive to old age after all, for a human.”

Essek flinched a little at the reminder of Caleb’s shorter lifespan. Yussa’s eyes tracked the movement, but he let it pass without comment.

“Are we third-wheeling for you guys again?” Beau asked, but it wasn’t really a question. “Because we can, like, go.”

Caduceus placed a package on Yussa’s table. “Here, I brought that tea you liked last time.”

“Yes, thank you. You are all welcome to stay if you like.”

Beauregard was already standing up. “Nah, I think we’re good. Cool to see you again with your face where it belongs.” She awkwardly finger-gunned in Yussa’s direction, backing towards the door.

She, Yasha and Caduceus left the tower.

Yussa watched them go with amusement. “It seems my social graces are rather rusty.”

“They don’t mind,” said Caleb. “They have met too many wizards to be offended.” Essek snickered into his hand, finally relaxing a bit. “So, you were saying?”

“Teaching is good work, if you can tolerate the children,” said Yussa. “I did it myself for a time. For one to turn down an archmage position… you must have a goal.”

“Leave the Empire better than I found it,” Caleb said. That encompassed all his knotted up feelings about it.

Yussa raised a single well-kept eyebrow. “Interesting. What is your definition of ‘better’, if I may ask?”

Caleb did have a vision for this, and the situation with Felix and Nico had thrown into sharp, painful relief how far there was to go, and how much pain he would never be able to prevent. “No more children thrown on the pyre. No more stolen childhoods. No more abuse. A government and its mages who choose to consider simple human cost, before they consider their own selfish ambitions.” Caleb was typically more reserved with Yussa, but the more he spoke of this, the harder it became to restrain his emotions. “No more wizards with a god complex who think themselves above basic compassion and ethics. No more butchering the innocent to grease the wheels of war. Just… no more.”

“A lofty goal,” Yussa said, quiet. “One that would take the remainder of my lifetime, or even young Essek’s lifetime, let alone yours.”

“I know. Hence the importance of teaching these things to those who will come after me.”

Yussa hummed thoughtfully. “I wish you luck. More powerful men than yourself have tried, and been consumed.”

“Been there, done that. Have the trauma.” Caleb wasn’t sure where he found the capacity to joke, even flatly, about all of this. Sometimes it was easier to get the point across if he allowed for a bit of sarcasm. “In my experience, the children put at the mercy of these people may need the most help. And that is something I can do.”

“I will watch your progress.” Yussa finished his tea, setting the cup aside. “Now, enough of mundane matters. I have been tinkering with Willi some more. Would you like to see the results?”

“Always.” Caleb missed that golem terribly.

They lost a few hours discussing the golems of the Happy Fun Ball, and comparing notes about the pre-Calamity Aeormatons the Nein had encountered. Caleb and Essek had run across Devexian a few times in their travels since. It was a good use of time, and it settled Caleb’s nerves. He felt better.

***

Once they left Tidepeak Tower, Essek disguised as a blonde half-elf, they headed over to Veth’s place. Caleb was somewhat nervous about this, because he knew she would see through any of his bullshit and know he was going through something. And then he would have to explain everything to the rest of the Nein. And, of course, Jester already had an inkling thanks to Astrid.

There was no getting out of this. And it wasn’t that Caleb didn’t want them to know, exactly. He had just grown tired of explaining it. And he knew what little equilibrium he had managed to find would fall away as soon as Veth said or did anything in response, and he would break all over again.

Nevertheless, he messaged Veth as soon as they stepped out of the tower. “Hallo, Veth. Essek and I are on our way to your place. Be there soon.” Then, for old time’s sake: “You can reply to this message.”

The first sound that came through was Veth’s trademark screech. “Caleb! We made lunch. Get over here!” A split-second’s pause. “Good shot! Oh, sorry Lebby. Luc shot Beau in the ass. Like mother, like son.”

Luc was going to be a menace as a teenager. Caleb intended to be around to see it. And probably try to save a little bit of Yeza’s sanity if possible.

Caleb and Essek took their time wandering through Nicodranas. The streets were filled with people out for lunch, enticing scents curling through the air. Caleb and Essek stopped by a bakery to grab some pastries for the group (mostly Jester)--there had evidently been some Zemnian influence on Nicodranas, or the other way around, as treats such as bee stings could be found in both areas. Nicodranas made them a touch sweeter and stickier.

Caleb also grabbed a fresh loaf of bread, though he did not shove his hands into it this time. He hadn’t known that was a poverty thing until Beau and Jester had reacted so strongly to him doing it that one time. He still thought it was a useful trick, but it apparently unnerved people. Bread mittens had kept him warm many times in the freezing cold when he had no one to look out for him, and had to choose between food and something as simple as mittens.

Anyway, bread was wonderful.

They wound through the streets until they reached Veth’s place. There was an unpleasant feeling in the pit of Caleb’s stomach that he couldn’t quite describe. Unease or dread felt too uncharitable, but the feeling was somewhere in that neighbourhood. Essek slipped his hand into Caleb’s, gently leading him to the door. Essek knocked, and it was thrown open in seconds and Veth had already thrown herself at Caleb’s abdomen, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.

Caleb almost broke then and there. He carefully rested a hand on the top of her head, sliding his fingers through her hair, looking ahead but not really seeing anything. Veth gave him a final squeeze and stepped back, grabbing his hand on the way. It took Caleb a second too long to lock eyes with her, by which time whatever joy had been on her face had been replaced with worry.

“Hi, Lebby,” she said, in a careful soft tone she used whenever he was teetering on the brink of crashing down. “What’s the matter?”

Caleb took a careful breath, and spoke in a measured tone. “I will tell you, but we should eat first. I may not be able to later.”

Veth tugged him inside, Essek taking care of the door and following them through the house. The rest of the Nein were already crammed into the kitchen, stuffing their faces with a simple stew that smelled delightful. It must have been one of the recipes Veth remembered from Felderwin.

Jester leapt upon him with a hug, dragging Essek in with her. “You’re here! It’s so good to see you! We got chased by a dragon turtle again and I turned it into a sea slug like last time, and we got away!”

“This happened at sea, I assume?” asked Caleb, who knew enough about Jester to take nothing at face value.

“Of course, Caleb. Don’t be silly!” Jester let him go, and booped his nose. He managed not to flinch.

Caleb wordlessly held out the pastries and bread. Jester squealed and grabbed them off him, shoving them into the centre of the table. Veth grabbed an enormous knife and began to cut the bread while the rest of the Nein shuffled around to make room for two more chairs. It was a tight fit, and Caleb was firmly sandwiched between Essek and Beauregard, but it felt somewhat akin to Essek’s nighttime pressure on his back and sometimes chest that crushed his soul back into his body. Their thighs were jammed together now, and it was easy to hook his ankle around Essek’s and keep himself grounded. For now.

A bowl was shoved in his direction and he ate mechanically, dimly aware of the chatter around him. Luc’s voice was among the loudest, and it was good to hear his voice. After everything the boy had been through, on Caleb’s account no less. No matter what anyone else said.

Caleb was going to spiral if he didn’t get a hold of himself. And he wanted to have a good time in Nicodranas; he didn’t know when he would be back here. Not to mention he would prefer not to retraumatise the already traumatised toddler by having a breakdown in the middle of lunch.

So he ate. Slowly. Methodically. He silently counted each mouthful, because he needed to count something. And when he had finished the stew, he felt more present in his surroundings. Veth distributed slices of bread with little pots of spiced olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and the Nein continued to chatter away as they tore off pieces of bread, dunked them into the oil, and finished off the loaf. Caleb was glad they liked it. And that Veth had been here long enough to have picked up a local bread tradition to share with them all.

“This is good bread, Caleb,” said Jester.

“I went to the bakery you recommended,” Caleb replied.

“That was months ago! You remembered!”

Caleb tapped his temple.

“Caleb has a very good memory,” Veth said warmly, as if everyone at the table wasn’t already keenly aware.

“I’m a bit curious about that,” said Kingsley, his tail smacking Beauregard in the arm, ignoring her as she slapped it off her. “Have you always been like that?”

“My memory was always good, ja,” said Caleb. It was rare for Kingsley to ask about someone’s past; very Molly-esque, not that Caleb would ever tell him that. “I could count things very well, especially time, and naturally had good recall. I did develop it further at school, but it was always there.”

Most people who found out about Caleb’s memory either saw it as an interesting party trick, or a useful tool if they were more like Trent. He did not speak of the downsides of having a near-infallible memory very often.

But Kingsley was looking at him with sharpness in his eyes behind the easy smile. “Maybe I’m biased since I barely remember anything that this body did before a few months ago, but that sounds feckin’ awful.” He said it lightly, but Caleb could hear the edge in his voice. Kingsley had been around when Caleb had told his story to Beauregard in the Grove; he had the context, and his own experiences, to put things together.

“A blessing and a curse, ja.”

The mood at the table threatened to darken, but Luc was thankfully oblivious to it, and instead started babbling about a huge bug the Brenattos had found in the garden yesterday. And that his father had screamed very loudly. Caleb sat back from the conversation, but was pleased when the tension broke.

“It really was adorable,” Veth was saying.

Yeza rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Yes, and you were my valiant saviour once again.”

But lunch was just about wrapping up at this point, and Veth would soon turn her focus back onto Caleb and his problems. Caleb’s lunch sat like a stone in his stomach, and maybe he shouldn’t have eaten quite that much. But it was hard to say no to a home-cooked meal surrounded by the people he loved most in this world. Those who were still alive, anyway.

Veth, charitably, let Caleb have a few extra minutes while she and Yeza cleared the table before she sat back down with a sigh, and turned her eyes to him. “All right. What’s the matter?”

Yeza picked Luc up. “I think we’ll go for a walk.” He didn’t know every little thing about Caleb’s shit, but he knew enough to understand whatever they were about to discuss was not something Luc needed to hear. “We’ll be back in an hour.”

As soon as they were gone, Jester spoke up. “Astrid said some stuff happened, but she wouldn’t tell me what.”

Caleb sighed deeply. “All right. I will tell you. Some of you already know what happened. I would appreciate your assistance.”

Beauregard knocked her knee against his. “We’ll help. But you should start.”

So he did. Caleb told the Nein that Astrid had been reaching out to the Volstrucker, and that two boys had been unaccounted for. He led most of the explanation of how they had come to understand what this probably meant, and to make plans for it. Beauregard began to speak up a bit when he spoke of finding Felix and convincing him to speak to them, of bringing in Caduceus to lift the modified memory. Caduceus began to add pieces where relevant, of the things he saw. Of scrying on Nico, and learning where he was.

Beauregard led the discussion of rushing after him and finding the house ablaze, and Caleb very briefly spoke of his experience on the upper floor, and finding the bodies of Nico’s parents. The memories were too vivid, and choked him up a bit, so Beauregard took over once again, and then Caduceus after they had traded places to help Caleb try to save the Baumanns.

“I do have a confession to make,” said Caduceus.

“Oh?” said Caleb, who couldn’t say much else at the moment.

“I was still scrying when Nico lit the fire,” Caduceus admitted. “I saw how he reacted to it. I chose not to inform you, because I feared leaving the scry before your arrival, in case something else happened. I… in the moment, I did not think telling you would have helped, but I wanted to apologise. I wanted to explain all this earlier, but...” Caduceus didn’t finish--maybe he had realised that would be jumping a bit ahead in the story. But Caleb understood.

There had been a small shred of curiosity in the back of Caleb’s mind, but he had been too preoccupied to give it much thought. But Caduceus’s explanation made sense; he had weighed up the benefits of both options and chosen the one he thought best in the moment. Leaving the scry to tell Caleb the house was already ablaze probably wouldn’t have made much difference. The Baumanns had already been long dead by the time he reached them. So Caleb harboured no ill will towards Caduceus for the difficult choice he had made, nor did he resent Caduceus for not telling him sooner, when Caleb had been far too unwell.

“There is no need to apologise,” Caleb told him. “You made a hard decision. Thank you for telling me now, when I am better able to handle it. Are you all right?”

Caduceus smiled sadly at him. “I understand you better now. Not in the way either of us wanted, but I’m all right now that I’ve told you.” He straightened, clearing his throat. “Anyway, where were we?”

They briefly talked about the night they had Nico, and that it had been a bad one for Caleb, and then Essek chipped in to describe the Greater Restoration spell the following morning. And the chaos that had ensued. Caleb spoke briefly about the chase on his side of things, with Beau and Yasha contributing theirs.

“We didn’t find him,” said Beauregard. “Monks and Volstrucker are still on the lookout. Caleb thinks the kid probably ran for the woods to get some cover. He taught Felix the Sending spell and took him back home to his parents.”

“Felix and I message Nico regularly,” said Caleb. “No responses yet.” And, because he was with the Nein, and because they loved him, he said, “I… feel a bit useless, at the moment.”

Jester reached across the table, tears in her eyes, and squeezed his hand. “You’re not useless, Caleb. You’re really smart, and really cool.”

“You’ve done a lot for those kids,” said Fjord. “I’m sure they both appreciate it, even if Nico isn’t talking to you. He’ll find you when he’s ready.”

“Maybe,” Caleb murmured. He was tired.

Veth was watching him, mouth downturned at the corners. “Caleb. Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come over.”

Caleb didn’t know what to say to her. An apology wasn’t enough. And he didn’t know if he could explain it right now. He looked away from her, down at the table, and tried not to crack apart with guilt. He was not doing a very good job.

A flash of movement, and Veth had launched herself across the table and into his lap. “Oh, Cay Cay, honey. No. Shh.” She squished his cheeks, which he only now realised were wet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Caleb buried his face in her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I’m not angry, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk about it. It’s okay.”

That only made him feel worse. Breathing was hard. Two hands, belonging to two different people, found their way to his back, rubbing slow circles. The more delicate hand--Essek’s--applied a little more pressure than the other. Probably Beauregard. She was next to him.

“You’re all right, Caleb,” said Caduceus. “We’ve got you.”

Caleb laughed wetly, remembering those exact words from Fjord as they had guided him home after a panic attack behind the coffee shop. Maybe this was a thing now. Or at least a thing from the Wildmother devotees of the Nein.

The rest of the day was quiet. Caleb composed himself after a while, and set up his lesson plans and speech notes on the floor of the Brenattos’ living room. A cup of dead people tea at his side. Surrounded by the chatter of his friends, and Essek’s head on his shoulder as he worked through a book written in Undercommon.

Yeza and Luc returned after a while, and Luc napped on the couch at Caleb’s back. Breathing loudly into his ear. It should have been annoying, but really wasn’t. The boy woke up some time later and wriggled his way onto the floor, peppering Caleb with questions about what he was doing. Caleb was more than happy to answer, hoping he had simplified it enough for the boy. Luc was very clever, but he was also very young.

Most of the Nein drifted away once Caleb seemed more stable. Jester, Fjord and Kingsley went off to check on their crew (including Vandran), and hang out with Marion. Caleb expected he would see her at the Chateau in the evening for dinner. Beau and Yasha had wandered off to the fish market.

Caduceus was still around, and Caleb suspected he actually felt much worse than he was letting on. But he seemed content to chat with Yeza and Veth over tea in the kitchen. Caleb caught snatches of the conversation; it seemed they were trying to explain some alchemical concepts to him. There was a good chance that Caduceus did have some knowledge in the area, but not in the same scientific way. Which made such a conversation all the more entertaining, as fragments of it drifted into the living room as the Brenattos and Caduceus tried to reconcile their wildly different experiences of very similar things.

Luc had just finished asking Caleb what a cantrip was, drawn from his lesson notes for Beginner’s Transmutation. The boy climbed into his lap, resting his head against Caleb’s collarbone. At first, Caleb thought he was still groggy from his nap. Then:

“Uncle Caleb?”

“Ja?”

“Are you having a bad day?”

That was a far cry from most of Caleb’s interactions with Luc, where he was mostly playing the part of the fun uncle with cool magic tricks. Essek hadn’t spent as much time with Luc, and was still phenomenally awkward around both him and Yeza, and even he seemed to notice the shift. Essek froze, his eyes glued to the one spot on the page.

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked Luc.

Luc shrugged. “Your eyes are puffy.”

Caleb chuckled at that; trust a small child to have no filter. “Ja, okay. I cried a bit earlier. Your mother and our friends took good care of me, though.” He thought back to Luc’s question. “We all have bad days, ja?”

Luc nodded, face pressed against Caleb’s shirt. “I had a bad day yesterday.”

“Oh?”

“I was remembering something that hurt a lot. And sometimes when I remember it, I get really sad and can’t think about anything else.”

Caleb, unfortunately, knew exactly what Luc was remembering. Veth didn’t bring it up often, but she had occasionally mentioned that Luc would have entire days after waking from nightmares of fire where he was just… out of sorts. Not wanting to play. Or even shoot his crossbow. Caleb could relate to the feeling.

So he set his pen aside and wrapped his arms around Luc. “Ja, that happens to me, too. Shall we stick together for today? We can cheer each other up.”

Luc just nodded, and Caleb rocked him side-to-side. The boy was probably still recovering, both from his disturbed sleep and the depressive episode.

“You’re good with him,” Essek said later, when Luc had fallen asleep against his chest.

Yeza ducked his head out of the kitchen, probably concerned that Luc was up to mischief in his silence, but his expression cleared when he saw the boy was sleeping. “Thank you, Caleb.”

Luc was not only a child, but also a halfling child, so it was a simple matter for even Caleb to hold him throughout the day. He felt better having someone else to care for, and Luc seemed to find comfort in Caleb’s attention.

***

That evening, they all visited the Lavish Chateau for dinner. Essek was in his blonde half-elf disguise again while the group ate on the ground floor. Luc was still clingy with Caleb, but he genuinely didn’t mind. He balanced the boy in his lap while they ate dinner. The chef had prepared a mildly spiced rice dish for the table that was easy for both of them to eat in this situation.

Marion joined them, graceful and lovely as ever. Like Yeza, she had not held ill will for what had befallen her during Trent’s pursuit. In fact, on more than one occasion, she had joked that she should thank “that horrible man” for forcing her to spend time with Babenon while in hiding. The situation was still complicated between the pair, and Caleb understood those kinds of complications better than most of the Nein. But she seemed happier than she had been in a long time.

Jester had apparently updated Marion with every shred of information she had gleaned from the Nein, so Marion was already aware of Caleb’s new job, and that he and the lesbians had a house together in Rexxentrum.

“It’s quite the change, I imagine,” she said.

“Oh, ja. I still wake up sometimes and have to pinch myself.”

“If you ever find yourself in Rexxentrum,” said Beauregard, “we’d love to have you.” She even managed not to look constipated or aggressive while saying it, which was a far cry from the prickly woman Caleb had met in Trostenwald all that time ago.

Marion smiled warmly. “Unlikely, but I will be sure to take you up on the offer if the need arises. How is your work, Beauregard?”

She glanced at Caleb, and sighed. “Complicated. But Caleb’s ex is the new archmage in the Assembly, and she’s actually not a shitty person most of the time. So that helps.”

Marion looked to Caleb, amused. “How does she feel about your new partner?”

Gods, Caleb had never gotten to have this kind of conversation with his own mother. So, even though the reminder hurt a bit, he indulged her. “Oh. Uh. Well, you see…”

“Caleb’s had a threesome,” Jester supplied helpfully.

“I see.” Now Marion looked very entertained. “We all have hidden depths. The two people who came to warn us about your teacher?”

“Ja.” Caleb’s face was hot, and probably as red as his hair. “They are… respectful of us. But they also told me they would, ah…” He remembered there was a small child on his lap who absolutely did not need to go around telling people he would cut off their balls. “They would cut off an important part of his anatomy if he ever hurt me. So, I think they approve.”

Essek made a choked sound. “You did not tell me this.”

“I was preoccupied.” Caleb didn’t need to elaborate; Essek would figure out what he meant.

Essek relaxed marginally, and knocked their knees together. “Right.” He wasn’t the type for public displays of affection, even if he didn’t have to worry about drawing attention to himself.

Marion looked to Essek. “Good luck.”

He laughed nervously. “Thank you. I will need it.”

“You’ll be fine,” Caleb said. Astrid and Wulf cared too much for Caleb to hurt him, now that they were no longer in a situation where it was required of them.

“Moral of the story,” Beauregard said, already three cups in. “Caleb’s got game.”

“I really do not,” Caleb said flatly.

“Real recognises real, Caleb, and you’re lookin’ real familiar.”

Caleb sighed, relieved that Luc was preoccupied with a puzzle cube he had brought the Brenattos last time he was in town. “We have talked about this before.”

“Yeah, but it’s different in front of Marion. She knows what I’m talking about.”

Marion chuckled softly behind her hand. “Indeed I do.”

“Caleb’s a loving guy, if you know what I mean,” said Jester, and her eyebrow waggle was too much for him to bear. Caleb did not stop loving people, and while it was easier to deal with his feelings for Jester now they were both in stable, happy relationships, there would always be an edge for Caleb. A point where he had to step back.

Kingsley, also quite drunk at this point, was biting his lip while he watched Caleb. “Oh, really?” The flirting from Kingsley was far easier to handle, even if the ghost of Molly made any joy bittersweet.

“That’s quite enough, I think,” said Essek. Gods, Caleb was both relieved and terrified by how well the man could read him these days.

Kingsley and Jester both pouted, and Caleb pounded back his glass of wine so he didn’t have to look at them.

Later, as Caleb carried Luc through the nighttime streets alongside Essek, Veth and Yeza, Essek tugged gently on his sleeve.

“Maybe this is a bad time,” Essek said quietly, tilting his head to check that Luc was asleep. He was. “And I do not expect answers you do not wish to give. But, may I ask you something?”

Caleb glanced ahead, where Veth had grabbed Yeza’s ass; they weren’t listening to this conversation. “All right.”

“I know the nature of our circumstances means we cannot be together all the time,” Essek said quietly. “I had a… proposal, I suppose. I don’t know how to word it, or if you will be insulted. But I notice you are very…” He cleared his throat. “What the fuck am I saying? You are a sexual person, and I enjoy that very much about you. And while we are together, I am happy for us both to fulfill our needs with each other.”

“But?” Caleb had not fully recovered from Jester and Kingsley at the Chateau.

“Well, I was wondering. You know I do not experience attraction as often as you do. That I need to be close to someone, and I am close to very few people. You are the first in many years to have caught my interest in this way. But I know it’s not the same for you.”

“Essek, I love you, but please get to the point.”

“Right.” Essek chuckled, and it was out of sheer discomfort. “I just wanted to say, that if you choose to scratch that, ah, itch while I am not around, I would be okay with that.”

Caleb didn’t know what he had expected from Essek, but certainly not that. “Oh. Um. Good to know.”

Essek glanced around in the dark, evidently found nothing of concern, and kissed Caleb’s cheek. “You are still my priority in that department. And I want to remain yours as well.”

“You are.”

“Good. There will be times when we are apart for a long time. You are still mine, through all of it, but I don’t mind if you, ah, take your pleasures as you need them.”

“That is… generous.” Caleb’s mind was not coping with this conversation at all. “I will… think about it.”

The Brenatto home came into view at that point, and Caleb was relieved that it effectively ended this discussion. Caleb had never really talked about it, but he had also never hidden from Essek the fact he had a lot of feelings for many people going at any one time. Essek came first. Always. And he wasn’t sure if he would ever take Essek up on the offer to invite someone else into his bed in Essek’s absence. But it was good of him to say.

He felt seen, in a strange way. Even though Essek was firmly monogamous, and extremely demisexual, he understood Caleb better than most.

So, as long as Essek wasn’t being self-sacrificing by offering this, Caleb was grateful for it. Even if he never acted on it. He couldn’t think about it right now. Probably wouldn’t for a long time. And if he did think about it, he certainly would not be doing that while Essek was very much within his reach, rendering the offer irrelevant.

They stepped inside the house after Veth and Yeza, and offered to watch Luc for a while. Though no one said anything explicitly for fear of Luc waking and hearing the conversation, it had evidently been some time since Veth and Yeza had been intimate together.

So Caleb and Essek sat in the sitting room for a while, quietly working on their respective studies, with Luc napping in Caleb’s arms.

#caleb widogast #essek thelyss #shadowgast #critical role #cr2 #fanfiction #my fics #the pomegranate's professor widogast fic

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E96 (February 25, 2020)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: The Chicago live show and C2E2 are imminent! The live show will be on Thursday night, but an hour earlier than usual, at 6 PM Pacific/8 PM Central! Liam will be at the live show, but unfortunately has to leave C2E2 early and won’t be able to make it on Sunday. On Friday, the first behind-the-scenes video for The Legend of Vox Machina animated series was posted on YouTube, introducing the writing team!

Episode 96: Family Shatters

Stats for this week’s episode! Of the 16 times Caleb has cast Teleportation Circle, the M9 have remembered to contact someone prior to their arrival 7 times. Of those 7 times, they were successful at contacting someone at the location only 3. Taliesin: “We’re playing this game like Skyrim, we’re just going through people’s houses breaking pottery.” Caduceus got the straw hat that he gave to Clarabelle in episode 31, about 188 in-game days ago. There were 17 cow-related puns. Dani: “Is that above or below average for a Critical Role episode?”

“Clay was kind of built relatively quickly. I didn’t give Matt a ton to play with. I gave him the order in which they left, I gave him Clay’s attitude and his impression of his family members, which was usually just one sentence, and some basic idea of what their power set might be if they had one. I always thought of him as, from a family perspective, of what would have happened to Percy if nothing went wrong.” He was happy to be the one to run the family business and just hang around at home and run the shrine. “I think the rest of the kids’ wanderlust probably put them at odds quite a bit.” He liked being able to play that conflict and show what Caduceus was like when he was annoyed. Cad took after his father, the girls generally wanted to leave, and Colton is “just sort of a doofus.”

Caleb was an only child, so seeing this many kids was a lot. “They clearly had their grudges and their different dynamics with each other, but that’s normal, for sure. Caleb’s very unfamiliar with it.” He also keeps looking at Nott and thinking about how everything he’s doing is about wanting to rebuild his family, whereas Nott is so conflicted about going back to hers. “He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t want to push it” or judge her for it. “I thought I had a really defined direction at the start of the campaign, but my seven best friends have knocked it silly.”

What’s keeping Cad with the Nein? “Caduceus is not ready to go home at all. He’s not done with his walkabout. He feels like he wants to see a bit more. He feels he has an intense debt to pay. He feels he has a mission to see everybody else through, at the very least. Or at least he’s telling himself that. So he’s saved his home, or at least he thinks he’s saved his home, and his family’s all right, so now it’s debts that must be paid. He’s not somebody who thinks you can just get off the bus.”

“Caleb was going to ask [the hag] about the ability to travel backward through time, not really believing that she could do that, but was still like, show me what you’ve got.” Even if she’d said it, he would have thought she was a liar. “Probably would’ve offered to kill the M9″ in exchange, then would’ve turned around to hit her with a surprise Disintegrate. Liam notes repeatedly that nothing could possibly have been as cool as what Laura wound up doing.

On the Nein not worrying about places Cad considered sacred ground, Caduceus “is fine with conflict. He doesn’t even really have to have conflict, he could assert himself if he were so inclined. It’s that he’s aware that there are limits to what these people can do. It’s very much the philosophy of ‘children and drunks can do no wrong’.” He’s picking his battles.

Was there a defining moment where Caleb started seeing the Nein as family? No single moment. “It’s like love by a thousand cuts.” Liam notes that he’s still not sure how Caleb would react if he suddenly had the means to carry out his plans. “He’s got the recovering-addict mentality.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Pumat! (CriticalHitical, photo by Minniemooncos on Twitter)

Taliesin notes that Caduceus is definitely feeling more connected to the group. “If anything, Caduceus is really embracing his role as the spiritual guide to the group. He feels like he really has a lot to offer from that perspective of being the roving therapist. Or at least, he thinks he’s a roving therapist.” Liam notes that Cad is the most mysterious of the group to Caleb. “He’s the most religious character I’ve ever played, too. He’s fun! He really came together very nicely.”

On Caleb being more lighthearted on occasion: “He’s been out of practice being a human being for a long time.” The Nein’s brand of ridiculousness is rubbing off on him.

Why hasn’t Cad been pranking the Nein? “They don’t treat him poorly in that way yet. Siblings, man. I have quite a few siblings, and there is an energy. It’s the same way like when you’re around your parents, you revert to a 15-year-old.” Same with siblings. “There’s just something-- just the urge to torture them is so overpowering.” The moment he got the whistle, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it. Liam was reminded of Taliesin’s real-life siblings while watching these interactions in the game.

On Caleb’s laying on compliments for the Traveler: “The thing about time travel is it’s so implausible. It’s so implausible that I could see us finishing this campaign and Caleb will still have it in the back of his head for the rest of his life. But maybe Artagan could help with that. He certainly sees the potential in Artagan, and it was a balance between wanting to support everything Jester has devoted her life to, so it just felt like everyone was ready to write it off. Life is often like this, life isn’t what you thought it would be, it is what it is. Let’s not damn this yet, let’s feel it out. And if I can use this situation to possibly eradicate ultimate evil, that’s a win.”

Cad found it tough to have family and friends in the same room and play both roles. “I don’t know how much it came across that he was trying to keep them, not necessarily separated, but ‘family, guys, guys, family, ANYWAY.’” He did want to get his family on their way as quickly as possible. Cad is the equivalent of his early 20s, so something like 85-120 years old for a firbolg.

Liam is asked about the conversation between Caleb and Yasha on watch several episodes ago. "You know what one of the best parts of that scene that played out was, is about 20 minutes or 30 minutes before that happened, I texted Ashley at the table and said, ‘Want to take watch? I have nothing planned, it could be fun.’” He wasn’t expecting it to go that far. “I think he had such an extreme reaction because he felt that he had done a good job of hiding things, and he was suddenly worried that he was transparent, that everyone had been able to read him this whole time when he’d thought that he was-- well, he’s a little in love with Jester Lavorre, and has been for a while, uselessly in love with her. The waltz was probably a little pebble. And in that moment-- this doesn’t play out verbally too much in the show, but he just was worried that this thing that he’s never going to admit to because it’s useless, she’s finding herself, and has her whole life ahead of her, and has other people around her who care about her and are a whole lot better for her than he is. And he’s aware of the way those two [Fjord and Beau] feel as well. It’s just there in the background fucking up his shit. It’s really just a problem. Big fucking problem.”

Fan art of the week: a gorgeous Clay family portrait! (by Teaweltzer on Twitter)

On Clay being absent for the renewal of his home: “I don’t think his arc’s ending off-screen. I think his arc ends when he comes home to see what’s become of it.”

Is Caleb worried about Beau since the confrontation with her father? “Of course he is. She’s ignoring all the advice that she gave him. He doesn’t like to see her that hard on herself when she’s so competent and probably the backbone of the group. It’s the most judgey Caleb’s been of anybody, really, but he’s very aware of the pain of family and personal stuff. She knows her, and even though he broke his shit in half, he could still see the dynamic in the room when we visited his family, so he feels for her. We need you and we love you and we will miss you, you don’t fucking get to go.”

Each of the temples has a secondary god; what was the Blooming Grove’s other god? “The Blooming Grove is for the Archeart because it is a gift of beauty. It’s the Allhammer, the Changebringer, and the Archeart. It’s kind of a powerplay from the Wildmother, in my opinion. They’re all three based off of very specific types of funereal practices that are common throughout the world.”

Caleb saw giving over the transformation spell to Essek as a returning of one of his many favors. “Caleb likes Essek a lot. They’re like two highly gifted kids at school together. And, you know, he’s quirkily charming and handsome. There’s just no reason not to, in his mind. Outside of the M9, he’s probably the only person that Caleb would see as a friend that he’s made. Everyone else is just sort of scenery around the M9.”

What’s next for Cad? “It’s a little bit of finding himself, or at least finishing himself would be the way to put it.” (cue snickering from off-camera) “He’s also vaguely aware of some of the things that are going to possibly emotionally damage the party on the horizon, and he wants to be ready to deal with, in vague order, whatever’s going to happen to Jester, and then whatever’s going to happen to Fjord, and then whatever’s going to happen to Nott, and Yasha, and Caleb. He doesn’t know how to deal with what Beau’s going through. It’s the one thing he has no experience of, because he has no experience with that family dynamic. When he met people with that family dynamic, it was always at the end of it.”

Some fans sent in death whistles. Brian encourages Taliesin to play one on the plane.

The hat for Calliope was a last-minute thought. The flute could also have gone for Colton, depending on “who I could sneak up on”.

Caleb took a symbol of the Archeart from the Labenda Swamp. “I think it was familiar to me. I think I might have either correctly or mistakenly thought it reminded me of the woman who helped Caleb in the Sanatorium.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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captainofthetidesbreath · 4 years

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not trying to provoke discourse of anything, more working through my own thoughts on the topic, because i definitely agree that friends should look out for each other and that includes making contingency plans and such! but for me the b+c+f convo did feel rather :/ and im trying to work out why. i dont remember all the exact wording and dont have the means to rewatch right now, but from what i rememeber i think it has to do with the fact that the convo felt less like a contingency (1/3)

for IF something were to happen, and more like they (or beau at least, given how she started the convo with something like "we all know this is weird right?") had already decided that something would for sure happen, no ifs or doubts about it. and i guess the :/ factor, for me at least, is largely that it's not just that they're being careful and planning ahead, but there's an element of thinking they already /know/ that things are going to go horribly wrong in a way jesters not seeing, (2/3) which leads to the sense that they dont trust jesters judgement of the situation, because they think they know better. again, i dont remember exact details, but these are some musings based in (potentially twisted/mis-) rememebered senses of that scene. absolutely feel free to ignore these since discourse topic, but yeah you got me thinking and i wanted to share i guess. (3/3)

Contingency plans, by their nature, require a belief that something can and will go wrong. So, a level of certainty about it is what makes it one, imo.

And, well, given that something did go horribly wrong in a way that Jester did not see coming, including something one of them explicitly feared was going to happen, I would say their fears were warranted and, in the end, proven to a degree. Something did happen. Not necessarily what they were expecting, but they also made an allowance that Artagan's capriciousness and shenanigans would get Jester hurt, unintentionally or otherwise. And, well, they did. That was a thing that happened. The three of them worry about it, and it happens.

And, frankly, again, given their limited perspective, I do not see what they did wrong in the moment. They do not have the range of information we have. They know that Jester is devoted to Artagan in a way that means she may ignore red flags that are out of their line of sight. Fjord knows that Jester is reluctant to talk to them. Yes, part of it is wondering if Jester's judgment is complete—but given the situation, I do not necessarily understand why that's a capital sin, particularly when the situation is dangerous. Trusting your friend's judgment and respecting what they do with it, in my opinion, runs up until you have reason to believe they have incomplete information, they have reason to not tell you worrisome information because they don't want it to be interpreted it as a red flag, or their decisions may very well hurt them. I understand the angle, I just personally don't understand what the fundamental problem is with it.

Frankly, to quote my sister on the subject: “Knowing Artagan her entire life gives some sort of more reason to be wary of him when he acts callously, like dumping them on Death Island. It’s like when your college friends realize that your elementary school friends you’re still hanging out with are, well, sort of really shit.”

Particularly given that, to an extent, they WERE proven correct. I think also that, from inside the narrative, Artagan's behavior is extremely worrisome to those who are of a nervous disposition and dislike when people around them are not consistent in their whims.

If they felt they knew better at all times, they would've intervened a lot sooner and controlled what Jester could've done, and not allowed her any contact with Artagan in any context more than strictly necessary. But the three of them wait until the last possible moment, some of them not reacting strongly at all in the end.

My question is: why this discourse over questioning Jester’s judgment? Did not the Nein question Beau’s judgment when she went to make the deal with Isharnai? Did not they question Veth’s judgment when she continued to drink heavily in a manner that endangered the group? Did not they question Fjord’s judgment during the pirates arc, even as he stated repeatedly and emphatically that he would not do as they feared, because they felt he wasn’t being entirely forthright, even though he was fairly so? (Did not Caduceus question Fjord’s judgment as recently as this arc—and get nearly pulled into the morkoth lair for it because Fjord was right?) Did not they question Veth’s judgment when she refused to stop talking to Halas? And were not these all fair?

What is it that makes Jester’s judgment so sacrosanct that it cannot be questioned?

Maybe I do think we need to examine the judgment of our friends from time to time. Especially in situations where a lapse in judgment could get us all killed. And, sometimes, you're wrong. But sometimes your friend is wrong. Sometimes you're both wrong. But we're all allowed to check each other's judgment, and in fact, friends should feel free to in a non-controlling manner. Which is what happened. I'm an advocate for questioning the wisdom if your friends' decisions in general when they’re dabbling in things that may put them at risk.

Maybe I don’t think that’s treating your friend like a child. Maybe I think that’s just being a sensible person and a friend who wants to see things work out for the best when the situation is complicated, not clear cut, and dangerous to everyone, most especially that friend. Your friend being right (in some regards) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have questioned it. It’s good to have your own thoughts and opinions and judgments of situations that seem suspect to you, especially if it may hurt someone.

But, like I said, maybe I’m too Capricorn and have had too many irl friends with questionable judgment to vibe with the discourse.

#Critical Role things #Critical Role spoilers #long post for ts #Cr discourse #Cr #This is my final post on the subject.#Because with those last three paragraphs I've said everything I needed to.#I don't think questioning your friend's judgment is at all treating them like a child.#That's just being a goddamn person.#Maybe I'm too earth sign for this discourse.

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thestarburnfighter · 3 years

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In Familia Virtus - Chapter 1

A Mighty Nein and OC story

Vianna Starburn was a merchant’s daughter, and she was supposed to be finding the latest town in the north east of Wildemount for her father to attempt new trade in. Trostenwald was a disappointment, and she had been preparing to leave farther north when a Tiefling, of purple skin and even more so colorful clothes, stopped her before she could mount her horse.

“Leaving this lovely town so soon? My dear, you’ve yet to see the best show they can offer!”

She had seen many swindlers and cheats before, but their demeanor was so carefree. Yes, they were definitely trying to oversell the appeal, but they weren’t looking to empty her pockets. Their smile was genuine as they bid her call them Molly, and with no true destination in mind just yet, staying one last night wouldn’t harm the family trade.

She was not quite sure what compelled her to join the people fighting. She was not a strong fighter, and everything she knew was mostly for defense. But she had a longsword and shield, and with seven other’s fighting against the sudden zombies as well, the small battle was easily won. Being told to stay in town as part of an investigation, however, was not in her plan.

Neither was engaging with this ragtag group that had officially trapped her here for Goddess knew how long. At least one of them had fled and was no where to be seen, and she knew at two had diverted back in the direction of the inn. The blue Tiefling, Jester, was quick to converse (more like talk at her) her about the towns baked goods as they passed by the bakery.

Viana made polite conversation with her as she mentioned missing the treats back in Nicodranas. She knew the bakeries very well there, and Viana was happy for the time being to talk about something of familiarity. However, the looming Crownsguard at the entrance of the inn reminded er of her current fate, and her mood turn sour. She tried to get back to her room once they all arrived back at The Nestled Nook, but they were very persistent at buying her a drink as a means to stay and talk.

The green half-orc in particular was promising a pint of her choice in the tavern, and the two Tieflings were encouraging her as well. The monk was apathetic, neither women caring much about each other’s presence, and the wizard and his friend- a goblin of all creatures, she had seen during the fight- seemed confused by her connection to them.

“I appreciate the offer, very kind indeed, but I’ve had a rather disappointing time here and would prefer to wallow in a bed rather than a drink.”

The purple Tiefling, Molly they insisted once more as she spoke, gently grabbed her hand and started to lead her to a table with the barmaid was bringing forth a round of drinks Molly had ordered just a moment earlier.

They spoke with a laugh in their voice, always ready to sell. “Come sit, please, and if you won’t allow him, allow me to get you something as an apology. You were well on your way out of here this morning, and I am the reason you’re no longer any farther.”

Viana sighed as she sat, “Very well. One drink, perhaps, will be alright. But the moment it’s done, I’m off to bed.”

“Of course dear, of course! Adelaide,” they called to the barmaid, “One last drink- a- what would you like love? Anything.”

“The Oveso is just fine.”

Mollymauk ordered it and turned his attention all on her as the group seemed to be settling with each other. The monk was almost aggressively questioning the man and goblin, with the half orc and Jester interjecting here and there.

“As we wait, tell me more about yourself, my dear. I don’t believe I’ve even gotten your name.”

They weren’t the only ones. Everyone stopped talking for just a moment to turn to her, and she realized she didn’t manage to keep close most of anyone’s name even though she had heard them a few times. She was quiet as she spoke, stomach fluttering a bit as everyone at the table looked to her.

“Well, my name is Viana Starburn. I’m going town to town on behalf of my father. He’s a merchant, and we deal mostly with craft wares. Pottery, fabrics, weavings, and such. I’m hoping we can expand here in the Empire.”

“Here in the Empire? Where are you from originally?”

“We do our trade mostly out of Palma Flora, but we live some miles from the town. It’s very small, directly south of Port Damali by ship.”

The half orc motioned to himself, “Jester and I are from the Coast as well. I’m Fjord, by the way. It’s nice to meet you. You did well with that sword.”

“Thank you, you’re not so bad yourself.”

The barmaid brought forth another round of drinks, including the wine. The monk leaned forward and introduced herself. “Name’s Beau. That’s outta Feolinn, right? Decent brand. Does your family trade wine too?”

“No, not our forte. But, the Oveso family pass by our home on their own trading route and we won’t say no to a fair trade. They’re a cheap wine anyway, and always quick to send their barrels out.” Beau seemed to like that answer as she smirked and leaned back.

The group fell back into learning about each other, and Viana quietly sipped her wine as the goblin, Nott, attempted to dazzle Jester with a money pot trick. Beau turned out to be from a wine family, and Jester was a cleric who worshipped a deity named the Traveler. When Fjord inquired about seeing a bigger magic trick, she used her God given powers and nearly set the Crownsguard on them again.

As the guards left, Viana quickly tipped back the half glass she had left and stood to leave. “As promised, thank you Mollymauk, but I do believe that signals my leave.”

“Come now, we were just getting started, and I know you were enjoying this. When was the last time you’ve had a talk with more than the barkeep? Surely you must be a bit lonely out here, alone and far from home?”

“Believe it or not, you’re not the first group of people I’ve met that’s nearly got me thrown in the local jail. My experience in the Empire hasn’t necessarily been a good time, and I’d like to make it back home without a stain on my family’s record. I doubt I can do that with any of you.”

The human man stood up, holding up his second trost, “Please, one more trick if you will. You’ll see we’re not so bad.”

Viana sighed and sat back down, earning a grin and a pat on the shoulders from Mollymauk. Caleb called for Nott to stand on the table, and began casting. Several light appeared from his hands and gently drifted over to her, covering her in golden light. She stood proudly, watching Caleb in thoughtful awe, before letting out a screeching vocal in an attempt to sing as the light surrounded her.

“The Goblight, ladies and gentlemen. The Goblight.”

From behind them, a drunk and sleepy patron called himself impressed before passing out in his glass. Viana chuckled and Fjord asked Caleb about his magic. The half orc was interested in expanding his own magic abilities, apparently having only recently learned some. Jester, despite being a cleric- was not up to show off any healing magic. With the attention off his magic, she noticed that Caleb was very quick to turn attention back onto others. He asked about Mollymauk’s plans for the next day, and they were rather melancholy in response.

“Well, they have all my things and they have all my family. I’m going to figure out what is going on. Try and find out what’s actually doing this. I assume since it’s none of us, it’s going to happen again.”

Upon hearing that statement, it was barely a thought for her to have to think. Viana placed a hand over theirs, “If it was my family’s reputation being falsely dragged through the mud, I’d do anything to set it right. I was there, and I saw, and I know at the very least you and Gustav had no part in what happened. I’ll help, if I can.”

Molly appeared shocked, “Truly? After all I’ve done to you?”

“You couldn’t have known. And if you did this to extort anymore copper from me, then you’ve failed quite miserably for you’ve now spent more than I to apologize.”

Jester leaned forward and asked, “But how can we because we can’t leave this tavern?”

Little plan was made that night as the group unofficially agreed to plan in the morning. They all head to their rooms, Beau and Jester tapering off first, Fjord and Molly next, and Viana just after them. Nott hurried on ahead, but Caleb paused her just a moment. He caught her eye, and his were a deep and sorrowful blue.

“I realized, I never got you that drink.”

“Don’t worry, one was enough for me. Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Uh- Caleb. Caleb Widogast.”

“That was a neat trick Mr. Widogast, but I’ll be quite honest, it’s going to take a bit more than some magic to keep me from regretting staying a moment longer.”

He said with a smirk, “But you stayed, didn’t you?”

“Goodnight, Mr. Widogast,” she replied with a roll of her eyes.

“Goodnight, Miss Starburn,” he started to turn away but quickly turned back, “Hold on, take more? I suppose we shall continue to see more of each other then?”

“Well, you’re staying here and seemed to have already enmeshed yourself in that group despite not being under order to stay. You’ll have to stay just as long as I, right?”

She turned away before he could respond and went to settle in her room. Viana had seen eyes like his before in her travels. Sailors who had seen the darkness below the waves, merchants who had done what they needed to protect themselves on the road, her brother’s a year into his firm.

Caleb had only started to pull her in, but Molly and Jester had a hand as well. Both Tieflings had charmed her, it seemed, but even still she could feel the mischief on them. And having grown up with mischief from her siblings, she knew it would extend to this group soon enough if not already.

Reputation was the most important thing a person could have, and she was innocent in this event, and so were the rest of them. If not for them, then for herself, she would help them be absolved, and then she would continue on to Zadash.

A few moments to dress for the night, to reorganize her pack, and finally an evening prayer to Avandra for her family. She fell quickly to sleep, the slow creeping exhaustion of the day and night finally hitting her.

#critical role #critical role x oc #critical role oc #the mighty nein

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pixieposts · 3 years

Text

Febuwhump Day 20

AO3

Today’s prompt was: “Betrayal” but I couldn’t think of anything so here’s “Truth Serum”. I did go with a spell VS a literal serum, and I’m not 100 percent sure how much I actually like it now... but oh well, here it is!

TWs:

None unless you count Caleb Widogast Levels of Self-hatred.

It started, as so many of his problems did, with a spell. The unknown scroll, written in barely decipherable undercommon , had held his attention from the moment Veth pulled it off the body of the Drow. He had been forced to wait hours to finally try it out, stepping away from the others when they stopped for lunch.

Honestly, he ended up disappointed. He had only been able to translate about half of the notes, and upon testing out the verbal and somatic portions on himself... he didn’t feel any different. He sighed, he would have to look it over again tonight in the tower. Maybe he could show Essek when they returned to the Xhorhouse...

“Ready to go man?” Beau called from where the others were waiting.

“Ja, on my way”

He walked over and made his way towards the cart they had procured from Dr Waccoh . He had to admit, he rather missed the Moorbounders , but this made carrying back the supplies much easier. As he reached the cart, he was stopped by a large green hand on his arm. He turned and smiled at Fjord, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Saw you were caught up with your books, so I grabbed you some lunch” He held out a sandwich wrapped in cloth.

“Danke Fjord, you are always so thoughtful, truly it is a wonderful trait” He took the sandwich, lightly squeezing the hand on his arm and climbed into the cart before realizing what he had said. It was true of course, but he didn’t make a habit of telling Fjord what he thought of him. That way lies madness. He felt his face heat up when he looked up to see Fjord staring at his hand uncertainly. He ate the sandwich slowly as they rode, trying to sort out just how awkward things would be when they stopped for the night. Fjord didn’t seem any different than normal as Caleb watched him over the top of his book, joking with Beau and keeping watch with Caduceus. Well, that was good he supposed, he would hate for Fjord to be uncomfortable around him.

Wait, he would?

Well, of course he would, but that didn’t bear thinking about.

“You’ve been super quiet today Cay-leb, what are you reading?”

He tried not to jump as Jester plopped down next to him, snapping the book closed automatically.

“Oh- I uh, I was just re-reading the history text we found last time we were at the bookstore” he shrugged “it would probably bore you”

Jester hummed non- committally and settled in next to him, pulling out her sketchbook.

“Are you like, totally sure you’re okay though? You haven’t talked to anyone in hours!”

“I am not as much of a chatterbox as others in our little group” he teased, elbowing her lightly “I have just been distracted”

“By your book?”

“Nein, by Fjord” he paused, distracted by the half-orc in question “and that spell I found, I cannot figure out why it didn’t work earlier”

“Wait wait, you’re distracted by Fjord?”

“And my new spell I-” he clapped his hands over his mouth, suddenly realizing what he had just said.

“Caleb! Do you have a crush on Fjord?” Jester, thankfully, was whispering now, lavender eyes wide.

“I- I-” he held his hands over his own mouth again and stared in horror at Jester until she furrowed her brow at him

“Wait, are you okay? You definitely look like you’re going to puke”

He shook his head vigorously, releasing his own face to grab the scroll from his coat. He laid it out and scanned it, feeling the tension build in his chest.

“ Beauregard ? Come here please?”

Beauregard walked up to the edge of the cart, hopping in as it moved like it was nothing.

“ ’Sup man?”

“This word here, what does it look like to you?”

She moved to sit on his other side and squinted down at the scroll.

“Looks like... κρύ βω? Wait... actually-” she reached over and scrubbed at the parchment with her thumb, dislodging a smudge of dirt “there was a- it looks like α ληθής now, why?”

“Scheisse”

She looked at him with an expression of dawning understanding and horror that matched his.

“Dude, what did you do?”

“I- I ah...” he swallowed “I think we need to stop for the night now”

It didn’t take long for them to find a spot to hide the carts, he worked methodically setting up his alarm and the tower. His head was spinning but he tried his best to stay calm. Before he knew it, they were settled around the large table in the dining room and the others were all staring at him. He explained what he had done, the words falling from his lips as though compelled, unable to hide a single mistake.

“What do you mean you just tested it out on yourself?! What if it had been something dangerous Caleb?” Beauregard sounded both worried and incredibly pissed off.

“This seems pretty dangerous to me” Yasha mumbled into her mug.

“ Well I- I certainly was not about to test it out on any of you, and I was fairly certain I knew what it did...” he trailed off, looking down as he felt his cheeks heat “I would never have tested it on anyone else so I- it was the only option”

“Why not wait and test it on an enemy Cay?” Fjord’s voice was patient as Beau grumbled behind him

“I- I just thought it would be better to try it out and then know for sure what it did before we were in battle”

“But what if you’d gotten hurt? We wouldn’t even know what happened”

“I do not think my safety is worth possibly missing out on something that could help us”

Fjord opened his mouth as if to respond, but after a moment he shut it again, shaking his head sadly. The others stayed quiet, passing thoughtful looks back and forth before Veth broke the silence.

“So... what does it do?” Veth asked, eyeing the scroll as if it might bite “what did you think it did?”

“I- well I thought it was some kind of invisibility spell, some way to hide, or help with stealth?” he tapped the word that Beauregarde had uncovered “it ah- it appears I was wrong; this word was obscured. I thought it was the undercommon for “to-hide” but it... well, it is the word for “truth” instead so” he sighed, dropping his head into his hands.

How had he been so stupid? It was such a novice mistake to make, he was supposed to be better than that.

There was silence around the table for a moment before Jester spoke up.

“ So like... does that mean you can’t lie at all or?”

“I am not sure... I need to go over it again to see what it says in the context of-”

“What’s your favourite colour?”

“Amber”

“Do you actually like having a beard or do you just not want to shave?”

“I lost my razor”

He glared at Jester as the others yelled various versions of “stop” at her. Jester shrugged and rolled her eyes.

“I was just trying to see if he could lie! Did you want to answer, or did you have to?”

“I certainly did not want to, I do not like sharing information about myself Jester, you know that”

He gripped his mouth again, glaring at her even as he felt his ears grow warm, but she just nodded and waved over at him triumphantly.

“There, question answered! Caleb can totally not lie at all” her expression softened “I guess we probably shouldn’t ask you anything else huh?”

“I would prefer that, yes” he ground out, muffled by his hands.

All through dinner the others tried not to direct questions at him, but despite their efforts he still ended up sharing more than he would have liked. Finally, he stood and made his way to his room, bottom lip firmly gripped between his teeth. This was awful, it was just more proof of his own hubris. He felt like a complete idiot for letting something like this happen. He spread the scroll out on the coffee table in his room and went back to work, thoroughly cleaning the damned thing first.

An hour into his new translation, there was a knock on his door, he sighed.

“Eintreten”

The door opened without a sound, and then closed a moment later.

“Hey Cay, just wanted to check in since... y’know , it was a rough one”

He felt the familiar thrill down his spine as Fjord spoke, not looking up for fear that even his expressions would be forcibly unguarded .

“Ja, you could say that I suppose”

“I figured... well, I thought you might like some company”

Caleb watched out of the corner of his eye as Fjord settled himself on the couch Caleb was sitting in front of. Gods how much he wanted to lean back against Fjords legs.

“Sure, I always enjoy spending time with you”

He blushed, damn it. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud ... he had let his guard down again .

“I ah- I have discovered that there is a time limit on the spell, so I will be free of it by morning” he raced to fill the quiet, trying to wash over what he had just said.

He felt Fjord shift slightly behind him before a warm hand settled on his shoulder.

“We don’t have to talk Caleb, it’s alright, I don’t want you to feel like you have to say anything you don’t want to”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

Caleb bit his tongue and glared at the scroll, stupid gods damned awful spell. He was going to copy it out and then burn the damned scroll to ash. All it had done was make him act like the idiot he really was. Stupid bloody loose-tongued-

“That’s a strange question” Fjords other hand came to rest on his other shoulder, both thumbs making little circles at the base of his neck “I’m nice to you because I like you, thought that was obvious”

Caleb shook his head, fighting not to lean into the touch.

“I do not deserve-”

“Well now, how about you let me decide how I want to treat you hm? I like you, and I try to be nice to the people I like, I say you do deserve it”

“Fjord” he groaned, Fjord didn’t understand “you know what I have done, the horrors I have committed”

“Mhmm , I surely do” the circles turned to long strokes along the back of his shoulders “and I’ve told you before, you’re a good man with a tough past. That kid isn’t you anymore”

Caleb let his eyes close as he finally gave in, leaning into Fjord entirely.

“A mess is what I am, a walking, talking disaster”

“Yeah well, we all are, it’s why we get along so well”

“I think you could get along with anyone, you are amazing”

Fjord hummed, pausing his shoulder rub to tuck a strand of Caleb’s hair back. Caleb knew he must be blushing by now, but if everything else about him was going to be over-honest, his complexion might as well. They sat that way for a while, Fjord working some of the tightness out of Caleb’s shoulders while Caleb reveled in the way it quieted his mind.

“That feels wonderful” he sounded breathless, even to his own ears “truly Fjord”

Fjord chuckled “anytime, your poor shoulders feel like you could use it”

“Hmm... perhaps they could, but you know I will never ask”

“Stubborn bastard”

“That’s me, stubborn and squishy”

“I like that about you”

“That I am squishy?”

“No, you brat, that you’re stubborn” Fjord’s voice was fond “it’s gotten us out of more than a few scrapes”

One hand slid up to rub at the sides of Caleb’s neck, just below his hairline, and he had to bite his lip to stop the groan that wanted to slip out. When was the last time anyone had touched him kindly like this? He really didn’t deserve it; he was a horrible person. Fjord was too good for him by half, too kind and caring for someone like Caleb.

“Relax Cay, I’ve got you”

“I do not deserve you”

“You let me be the judge of that, now relax and tell me about this spell”

To his own surprise, he did. The remainder of the night was spent with Caleb talking about any spell Fjord asked about. It was a safe subject, as he very rarely felt a need to lie about his magic... and never to Fjord. Fjord for his part made sure to avoid any questions that weren’t directly related to spells, his hands never stilling. Eventually, Fjord had to head back to his own room, both of them wiped after a long day. Caleb stood and stretched, amazed at how relaxed his shoulders felt, and walked Fjord to the door. They stood for a moment, just looking at each other as Caleb tried to figure out how to thank Fjord without giving too much away. It turned out that he hadn’t needed to worry. Fjord stepped into Calebs space, a hand coming to rest on his hip.

“There’s something we’re going to need to talk about tomorrow, once you have control over your words again”

“O-oh?”

“Mhmm , it’s been on my mind a while, and after hearing what you said to Jester today well... I think you might be amenable”

Caleb’s heart was pounding as Fjord leaned in and pressed his lips to Caleb’s in a gentle kiss. Caleb gripped the front of his shirt, pushing up onto his toes to kiss back. When Fjord pulled away, there was a soft smile playing across his mouth.

“Tomorrow, sound good?”

“It sounds perfect”

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday20 #widofjord #truth spells #always practice safe casting

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theregoesmylurkerstatus · 4 years

Text

Essek meta: the monster post

(Beware, long post incoming)

I’ve been sitting on my thoughts on Essek for days, and pretty much all my asks have been on the subject. I decided that instead of answering them all, I’d do my best to gather all my thoughts and reasoning into one post.

At this stage, there’s no solid evidence for or against Essek’s goals and morals being opposed to the Mighty Nein’s. Circumstantial evidence, yes. He’s been very accomodating, but not necessarily suspiciously so. There have been small hints that maybe he’d rather do things the Mighty Nein’s way, not the Bright Queen’s.

And I will say this: prior to this episode, even good insight checks apparently revealed nothing alarming about Essek or his motives. They didn’t entirely absolve him of suspicion, but neither did they create more.

In fact, the main cause for concern this episode was that Essek’s behaviour seems to have changed. Nott says he was acting “funky,” which implies she was using her previous experience with him as a basis for comparison. She goes on to equivocate with “we haven’t seen him in a while...”

However (and this is going to be a bit controversial), I think people are being a bit wilfully blind in regards to Essek. Many, many metas pointing out that Essek may just be at the end of his rope, tired, and wanting someone to rely on (while hoping that he can do so on the Mighty Nein).

They’re all good, solid theories, and I hope that they’re true! But but in the end there are factors I’ve notice that make me reluctant to buy into it wholesale.

Nott asked Caleb to scry on Adeen, not Essek. If she was concerned about Essek in general, wouldn’t she ask to check in on him? Sure, you can say “Essek is a powerful wizard, he’s probably protected,” but you could say the same of a max security prisoner who’s being actively watched over. Caleb literally only turned the idea down because of that. Hell, even Nott knew that! She starts with, “would it be a terrible idea...” when she pitches scrying on Adeen. And yet, she suggested it anyway.

Nott must have thought there would be something to gain by looking at Adeen, which means this isn’t just about Essek’s demeanor. It’s about his relationship to Adeen specifically. She says, “Something about the way that he was behaving when we were at that prison was funny to me.”

It’s not just Essek being overworked or tired in general. It’s Essek on this specific matter. And no matter how drunk or silly Nott can be, she’s not stupid. She’s fucking smart. She was the second smartest member of the party until Beau got the circlet. Nott rarely brings up genuine, serious concerns, and she treated this with nervous gravity.

Obviously the players can misinterpret what they get from whispers, but I don’t think Matt leaves it so open to interpretation that Nott could notice things that point to simple (if extreme) stress and misinterpret it as Essek being shady.

Consider this, too: in the conversation leading up to Fjord’s “interrogation” of Adeen, Essek insists multiple times that they used various means to force the truth from Adeen, and that while Adeen initially insisted he had no idea what was going on (as any traitor would), “we managed to excise the truth, and the Taskhand has, ah, given his hand, if you will.”

And yet as soon as Fjord goes in there, Adeen displays confusion, distress, and readily admits that he has no idea what’s going on while confessing he does think he did things (that he also insists he would never do). How the hell would Essek & Co have missed that?

I suppose you could say that Adeen may have been answering pointed questions during interrogation, and they would have ignored any “I don’t know” type answers, but still. It’s a pretty big fucking thing to miss.

Essek didn’t immediately go to the Bright Queen with the information on Adeen, but he clearly intended to speak with her soon, and only put it off to see the Mighty Nein first. When the Nein propose that all of them go to see the Bright Queen together, Essek is enthusiastic, and prompts for them to go immediately, only waiting when the Nein express an interest in Adeen. He is again the one to prompt a meeting with the Bright Queen after returning from checking Adeen for a mark.

So, in my eyes, his decision to go to meet the Nein briefly before seeing the Bright Queen was not a reflection of his hesitancy to implicate or even condemn Adeen to the Bright Queen, but rather came from the knowledge that the Nein would have important and relevant information. As he said, he didn’t want to give information to the Bright Queen “piecemeal.” He’d rather wait and give her a full report. Waiting to see what the Nein had to offer fits in perfectly with that attitude.

Essek is very, very good at being non-defensive, rational, reasonable, and even agreeable. He listens to the Nein when they start theorising about Adeen possibly being under magical influence. He agrees to the points they make. He readily entertains their notions... without pushing any of them any further, and without putting forward HIS thoughts on the matter.

I don’t believe he was reluctant to throw Adeen under the bus. He didn’t bring up the mind control theory to the Bright Queen at all. Jester literally says, “I thought Essek would...” before launching into her “Adeen may not be guilty” pitch.

Nott’s insight was instigated on Essek’s return from checking Adeen for a mark, though she clearly got insight as to his behaviour earlier in the prison as well. That may imply that Essek was not completely honest about his search of Adeen for evidence of mind control.

Clearly, the mind control theory isn’t one Essek was personally enthused about.

Possibly relevantly, an anon pointed out:

Rewatching the scene, anon is right. Yes, technically Adeen is banging his head against the wall, but he doesn't knock himself out. He “exhales” and starts snoring. And remember, Matt ruled that a creature willingly banging their own head against something wasn’t enough to fall unconscious. So... Adeen fell asleep? In the middle of a distressed, high emotion downward spiral? With Essek, a highly adept wizard, waiting and watching in the shadows? Hm. Could be innocent. It’s perfectly understandable that someone who’s been through as much mental, emotional, and physical duress as Adeen has would be exhausted. But in light of everything else I’m trying to unpack here, I though it was worth noting.

All of the suspicion of Essek is wrapped up with Adeen, and other relevant factors point to him not especially wanting Adeen to be absolved of guilt. This could mean many things: he’s the traitor, he has it out for Adeen specifically, he’s hiding some information he discovered relevant to Adeen, he just wants the search for the traitor to be over with. Who knows? But I certainly don’t believe Nott was simply observing high stress from his job.

In the end, the real evidence against Essek's guilt, to any degree, is his personality. Critters like him. The Nein like him. He’s been a helpful ally who everyone seems to fall head over heels for without Essek trying for that kind of reception (see Matt’s confusion at him being instantly labeled “hot boi”). People are eager to look to his personality, his current position, and give him sympathetic internal reasoning that is pure supposition.

Again, it’s good supposition! They’re good theories! But I don’t think you can discount or sweep under the rug the causes for concern so easily.

To be quite frank, we still have no solid evidence against Essek being the/a traitor, while we HAVE been given cause to doubt his complete innocence. The fandom bias towards him especially makes me a bit reluctant to accept the lenient answer straight off the bat.

I think that there’s something more going on with him. I’m also not convinced he’s a traitor, especially not long term. There’s simply not enough for me to go off of in making up my mind. But I felt it was necessary to point out that the concern about Essek in this instance has real merit, and I wasn’t really seeing that brought up and discussed.

So... here you go, I guess?

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e90 #speculation #ramblings #essik #anon with the mind control theory screenshotted above: i have a separate answer for that theory don't worry #I'm prepared for this to be very unpopular (understandably) but i had to get my thoughts and doubts out there #also ill probably miss talks live but ill ALSO probably watch it later tonight or tomorrow

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ladyatthecrossroads · 5 years

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prompt list 40.“You’re sweeter than cake.” with Caduceus if its not too much trouble?

Sorry this took so long to complete, anon. It’s a bit longer than I expected it to be. I hope you enjoy!Title: Sweeter Than CakePairing: Caduceus x readerWord Count: 2435

It feels good to be back in Zadash. Your adventuring party had dragged you all across the continent of Wildemount and beyond, to the shores of the Menagerie Coast and the waves of the Lucidian Ocean. Finally back in the Empire, you were more than happy to put the relatively lawless ways of the ocean and pirating aside. You had missed this, just walking along the cobbled streets, passing the various vendors out and about with their wares in the Pentamarket. The city was a hectic place, bustling with activity, but it definitely was preferable to struggling to survive on a boat in the middle of the ocean. This was downright relaxing, comparatively.

“Man, I can’t believe Caduceus has never had a birthday party,” comes the trilling voice of Jester as the two of you stroll along the boulevard. The easily excitable tiefling skips along beside you, occasionally linking arms with you for the briefest of moments before rushing off towards whatever stall or tent catches her eye. You, however, have a goal in mind, a very specific goal.

Leaving the rest of your party back at the Leaky Tap, you recall the conversation that brought you here, snooping about the Pentamarket in search of the best variety of baked goods you could find. The subject of birthdays had arisen, and Jester had been very eager to share the details of the various past parties her mama had thrown for her as a little girl. This had led to each of you throwing in your two copper on the matter and your own personal experiences.

Of course, you hadn’t missed the far off look on the firbolg cleric’s face that spoke of fond memories. He had lazily scrubbed at his brilliant pink beard with that thoughtful expression he always wore, commenting plainly on how many seasons it had been since he last celebrated a birthday with his family. And when you had questioned him further on the subject, he appeared to grow sheepish and told you about how his family never really threw “parties,” per se. Birthdays seemed more a day to ponder your personal growth and reflect inwardly on how best to serve the Wildmother. Seeing that this answer didn’t exactly satisfy you, he then made mention that his parents would always cook his favorite food, at least.

You can understand; Caduceus is an incredibly humble individual, after all, and humble celebrations seem enough to please him. Still, you can’t quite shake the odd lingering disquiet you feel. You care for all of your comrades, but the firbolg cleric is very dear to you.

From the first time you had laid eyes on him, he had exuded such a calming aura and had been a paramount force in overcoming your grief and coming to terms with the losses you all had sustained on the road thus far. He always made time to listen when you came to him with a problem, offering helpful advice. He was so insightful, even if he was a bit naïve to the outside world. You’d both promised to lean on each other for support whenever the need arose. It was for your mutual benefit, and ultimately the good of the group, you’d told yourself.

It seemed to just come naturally that you had then fallen for him.

You want to do this for him. He deserves it after everything Caduceus has done for you. For all of you. He deserves to know that he is irrevocably and undeniably a beloved member of the Mighty Nein.

“Oh, what about this one?” Jester’s attention is caught by a baker placing hot fruit pies out to cool in a store window. The aroma seeping out the front door smells nice; the sweetness of candied fruits and the savory scent of freshly baked breads combine and you find yourself leaning forward in that direction to catch more of the delicious fragrance. Your feet move almost of their own accord, drawn in by the promise of tasty treats within. The tiefling cleric is very eager to bound to your side, linking arms with you once again as the two of you enter the shop.

The tinkling of bells announce your arrival, even though the front door is already wide open. Magic almost seems to permeate the air; there’s a palpable buzz of arcane energy, intertwined in the heady scents of the pastries. A young woman wipes her hands on her apron and looks at you, and you can see she is of some sort of Elvish descent; half-elf, you wager. Her blue eyes twinkle at you and though she is fair of face, you can see shining silver strands among her ashen brown hair. It seems impossible to determine her age, as you know that half-elves generally live longer than a human yet not as long as a full-blooded elf.

She regards you with friendly curiosity and a warm smile. “Welcome,” she says, a lilt to her voice that reminds you of a certain lavender-skinned tiefling, and you smile in fond remembrance, “Can I help you find anything today?”

A brief, but detailed conversation ensues, occasionally interrupted by one of many of Jester’s seemingly endless lines of random questions. The clerk seems to have infinite patience. You describe the occasion and general idea of what you’re looking to buy, and she is very helpful in selecting a treat of appropriate taste and size. You leave with a cake box of a medium size and a sense of accomplishment and anticipation. You hope Caduceus will like it.

When you reach the Leaky Tap, your eyes search for your ragtag group. You find them quite easily; even in the dim lighting, Caduceus’s tall frame and pink hair are not difficult to spot. The firbolg’s back is to you as he converses with Fjord and Beau, but Caleb is the one to meet your gaze. A quick assessment of you and the package you hold and he gives you a knowing look when you silently plea for him not to spoil the surprise. He puts his head back down to the book he’s reading but you catch a small glimpse of a smile he tries to hide.

You glance at Jester and the tiefling is practically vibrating in excitement beside you. Her hands go to press upon your shoulders and urge you closer. You can feel your heart beating faster. Together, the two of you cross the room as inconspicuous as you can. Fjord and Beau glance up and over Caduceus’s shoulder, eyes widening and eyebrows cocking, and that gives him the clue to turn around; and that’s when the two of you begin to sing.

It’s entirely worth it. You inhale deeply as Jester and you belt out a somewhat harmonious rendition of Happy Birthday. Your arms present the wrapped confection, held out before you as you circle the table to set it down. Caduceus’s expression is filled with mild surprise and wonderment, his light pink eyes travelling over the expanse of your face before trailing down to the cake box you hold and then back up to meet your eyes. His smile is warm and gentle and you think you can see a faint warming of color bloom across his cheeks. It might just be a trick of the light; you aren’t certain.

“Well,” he says, in that low, rolling rumble of his, “This was unexpected. How nice.” He retracts his hands from where they were folded together on the table before him, and you set down the box. He sits there, eyes glued to you and your face, still smiling, lazy and content.

You puff your chest up in pride and gesture to the box before him. “Well, go on. Open it.” And, watching as those large hands of his move to the simply-tied string holding the container closed, your own fumble together, twisting and wringing as you bite your lip in earnest. “I hope you like it.”

What he reveals is the modestly decorated cake you had picked out. Instead of icing, you had asked for powdered confectioners sugar to be sprinkled liberally about the sponge. The cake itself was actually a dome of a lovely muted shade of green tinted with brown from the baking process. It is a simple design, nothing too fancy, as you had chosen it for flavor rather than looks.

Despite the outward humbleness of the cake’s appearance, Caduceus looks pleased. “Oh, wow. Look at that. That looks…” He closes his eyes and inhales the sweet scent, and you can practically see his eyes roll back in his head beneath his fluttering lids. His smile grows. “I know this smell. It’s wonderful.”

“I thought you would. It’s a tea cake… or, rather, it’s a cake made with tea. Green tea,” you correct yourself.

His head turns and a hand goes to wrap gently around your shoulder and pull you down to him into a hug. “You got me a green tea cake. That’s so nice. You didn’t have to get me a cake.” There’s a light note of bashfulness to his voice and you smile, returning the hug.

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to do something nice for you,” you admit, heat rising to your face and you silently thank the gods that there is very low light in the tavern. “You’re always doing things for us, healing us, you know.”

“Yeah, Caduceus,” the other cleric chimes in, that teasing note in her voice as she pops up over on the other side of him, “And you know we wouldn’t do this for just anybody, you know? We really like you. And, I mean, some of us really, really like you. Like, a lot. Like, just so much, you know, so—“

Dear gods, she really did have to just ham it up, didn’t she. You shoot her a glare from behind Caduceus’s back before Fjord pipes up.

“I think the man gets it, Jester,” he says, clearing his throat and trying to inconspicuously glance between the two of you with a look. The air has gotten noticeably warmer, or maybe that’s just you. Either way, you’re grateful for the interference.

The tiefling has the audacity to shoot you an innocent look, despite the mischievous smile clear behind her eyes. When Caduceus turns to look up at you, she makes a rather inappropriate gesture in your line of sight. You want to smack her, but Caduceus grabs your hand and your attention.

“Thank you so much. This is more than anyone’s ever done for me in a long time. Really, thank you.” His eyes are squinted with delight as he looks up at you and his long ears do a happy little flick, and it is the most adorable thing you think you’ve ever seen; a seven-foot-tall, pink-haired firbolg being absolutely giddy at being able to celebrate his birthday so far from his home. He tugs gently on your hand. “Come sit. Let’s eat.”

From his pack, Caduceus produces a set of cutlery to start cutting the cake and you take them gently from his grasp to divvy up the slices yourself. You reserve him the first and biggest piece after sizing up just how much to give to everyone else, after which you all eagerly dig in.

The flavoring is subtle and not overly sweet and you can tell from the expressions of your compatriots that it had been a good while since they had indulged in something to satisfy their sweet tooth. Beau, Jester, Fjord and Nott all seem to devour their shares within mere seconds, whilst Yasha, Caleb and Caduceus each take their time and savor the experience.

You’re focusing so intently on Caduceus’s reaction, taking in every minute shift in expression with each bite he takes, how he seems to chew so methodically and ensure he gets everything out of it; the taste, the texture, every little nuance and flavor he can possibly experience. It’s downright mesmerizing how one man can be so thorough and savor each little bite.

Jester’s foot connects lightly with your shin under the table, snapping you out of your reverie. Maybe you’d been staring for a bit too long. You snap to attention, bashfully returning you your slice and finishing it off. It was delicious and so worth the cost.

A quick prestidigitation spell cleans off the plates and utensils and you help Caduceus gather and sort them all and put them away while the rest of your crew begin to go about their own independent business. Caleb sticks his nose back into his spell books; Nott has slipped into the crowd and disappeared; Fjord and Jester have gotten into some conversation about what plans to make for the coming day; Yasha is brooding in a corner; and you think you see Beau wandering over to the bar, practically itching to start a tavern brawl.

You, meanwhile, are pointedly not looking at Caduceus, fixating yourself on cleaning up the remnants of dessert and simply enjoying the relative silence before things get too rowdy. After a moment, you steel your nerve, asking, hopefully, “Did you like it?”

You don’t know how he does it, how he’s always so content all the time, how easily he grins like the cat that ate the canary, slowly, languorously. Somehow the world just melts away and it’s only you and him. “I did, thank you.”

“And it wasn’t too sweet?”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head, pink eyes warming over your face, “The cake was sweet, but…” He lifts one large hand, fingers outstretched, and you are powerless to move away as he gently swipes them down your cheek. As he pulls them away, you see a small smudge of powdered sugar that he brushes his thumb over. You lift your hands to your face, semi-self-conscious now of having any more sugar there, feeling the blush rapidly rise to the surface; you pray the light is low enough that the firbolg doesn’t notice.

But then he looks earnestly into your eyes and you catch your breath. His face is so close now that his breath fans across your lips. His thumb catches your chin and he leans in to peck gently at your lips, and you’re melting all over again.

Caduceus pulls away from you, and you see his tongue flicker out to pan over his bottom lip just briefly. Honestly, you feel a little woozy. Did Caduceus just… kiss you? Did that really just happen? You could die happy. He smiles.

“Just as I thought,” he rumbles, “You’re sweeter than cake.”

#critical role x reader #critical role #critical role imagine #critical role campaign 2 #caduceus x reader #caduceus clay #caduceus #mighty nein x reader #the mighty nein #x reader #reader insert #request fill

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