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carewyncromwell · 1 year

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Percy 🤝 Carewyn

The summer of 1995 was a very busy time for Carewyn at the Ministry. Normally she would’ve been glad for the extra case work, as it would’ve allowed her to help more people, which had always been her dream and goal...but unfortunately, most of this “work” as of late had been to assist the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, in crafting some new legislation pointed directly at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Apparently Fudge was so fed up about Dumbledore having so much trouble finding suitable professors for Defense Against the Dark Arts -- in Fudge’s words, “one of the core subjects for a developing witch or wizard’s education” -- that he decided that if Dumbledore couldn’t nominate a suitable successor, the Minister (and therefore he) would just have to do it himself. Carewyn truly detested the idea -- but under the circumstances, she knew if she was both going to prevent Fudge from causing too much damage and keep the job she loved so she could continue helping people, then she’d have to be involved in putting that idea into action. So she’d accepted the role of legal counsel for Fudge while he developed this plan...even while simultaneously offering covert assistance to Dumbledore’s organization, the Order of the Phoenix, by leaving enough wiggle room to legally challenge the legislation.

One silver lining about having to work with Fudge, though, was that it gave Carewyn the chance to make contact with Percy Weasley, who had been appointed Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic earlier that summer. Carewyn had to break ties with the Weasley family, including her best friend, Bill, so as to stay at an advantageous position within the Ministry -- an act Carewyn was loathe to put on, given how much she adored all of them like her own family. But not long later, third-eldest son Percy was promoted to the role of Junior Assistant at only 19 years old -- an act Carewyn immediately pinpointed as Fudge trying to keep tabs on the Weasleys, who’d always been loyal and close friends to Dumbledore -- and right afterward, rumors started flitting around the Ministry that Percy had severed ties with his family, all because they supposedly believed the “Boy Who Lied’s” rubbish about You-Know-Who returning.

Carewyn’s heart hurt, just hearing the rumors. She knew Arthur and Molly had to be devastated over Percy’s departure -- Bill and Charlie undoubtedly would be too, once they found out. Bill in particular had always been so protective of all of his siblings: his greatest fear, from the time he was young, was any of his family being hurt. And with Voldemort really having returned, it was truly dangerous for Percy to be shoving his head in the sand at this particular moment.

Someone’s got to look after Percy and make sure he’s okay, Carewyn decided at once. If the Weasleys can’t, then I will.

So when Percy stopped by Carewyn’s tiny office the following morning to fetch the legislation draft and notes she’d written for Fudge, Carewyn couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him.

“Hi, Percy,” she greeted him.

Percy was very stiff-shouldered as he gave her a slightly forced smile and nod.

“Good morning, Carewyn,” he said, his slightly pompous voice coming out a bit brusquely despite himself. “I’m here for the notes the Minister requested...”

“I figured,” said Carewyn. She took out a file and placed it in front of her on the desk. “It’s all right here -- I enclosed a letter of recommendations at the top, for the Minister to read over -- ”

“Much obliged,” Percy cut her off as he reached out to take the file from her.

He seemed oddly evasive. Carewyn could sense he was trying not to look into her eyes too long, but when he did, slips of memory emerged.

“ -- swear, it feels like she can look right through you, at times...”

“ -- it’s called Legilimency -- ”

The first voice in Percy’s mind she didn’t recognize, but the second she immediately knew was Bill’s. The thought of her best friend made Carewyn’s heart hurt.

“You haven’t had breakfast, have you?” she said abruptly, as Percy turned to leave. “I’m brewing some coffee.”

She indicated the modified Muggle coffee maker next to her desk.

Percy’s eyes flitted over to it. For a split second, Carewyn could see his father’s face in Percy’s gaze.

“Thank you,” the bespectacled young man said uncomfortably, “but I should really get this back to the Minister -- ”

“I’ll send it on ahead for you,” said Carewyn crisply.

She raised her wand. In an instant, she’d transfigured the file in Percy’s hand into a Ministry-of-Magic-approved paper airplane, which she then Charmed to soar out of the room, out toward the Minister’s office. She then indicated the empty chair across the desk from her with a gentler expression.

“You should eat something,” she murmured.

Percy looked up at her, startled. Carewyn could see Molly in his eyes, this time -- Bill too.

The third eldest Weasley flushed darkly as he averted his eyes again, his gaze falling over to the coffeemaker and Belgian waffle iron on the side.

“...I suppose,” he said stiffly. “But I can’t stay long -- there’s a great load of work to do...”

Carewyn nodded respectfully as Percy sat down. If there was one thing she and Percy had in common, it was their workaholic tendencies.

Once Percy had sat down, Carewyn set about fetching some mugs from inside the cabinet hosting the coffee maker, as well as loading some stored batter into the modified waffle iron so it could cook. She could feel Percy’s eyes on her, but when she looked up, he quickly looked away again.

“ -- Muggles use these things to cook different kinds of food! Don’t entirely get why they choose to iron it, but Muggles are truly fascinating things, aren’t they?”

Carewyn’s eyes softened a bit, hearing Arthur’s voice in Percy’s thoughts.

“Jacob made these for me,” she attempted conversation.

Percy looked up, startled. “...Oh, ah...your brother?”

Carewyn could hear Charlie in Percy’s thoughts.

“ -- kind of a mad genius, really -- ”

“Her brother disappeared because of those Vaults, Perce -- Carey’s not going to just give up on them -- ”

“Yes. I’d mentioned how irritated I was that the cafe’s line’s always so long and that I didn’t have any electricity so I could plug in my own appliances...so Jacob ended up enchanting these so he could gift them to me for Christmas. He even made a stop at a Muggle shop out in San Francisco to pick me up the waffle iron...”

Carewyn couldn’t keep the fond smile off her face.

“...It’s been helpful, in keeping everyone fed,” she said amusedly. “Ben especially -- he’s always skipping meals. And Talbott, Tonks and I work such late nights, it’s nice to be able to brew a pick-me-up or two, to get through it all...”

Once the coffee was finished brewing, she poured out two mugs, one for Percy and one for herself.

“Would you like milk?” she asked. “Sugar?”

“Sugar, please,” said Percy. “Two lumps will do.”

Once Carewyn had fixed his cup properly, she offered it to Percy, who quietly thanked her as he brought the mug into his hands and took a sip. As he did so, he kept his eyes locked on the coffee as much as he could -- even so, Carewyn could just barely sense the clipped memories in his head: Bill standing over Carewyn’s shoulder, Charlie wrapping an arm around Carewyn and calling her his “twin”...even the twins laughing.

“She’s like Mum!”

“Only cooler!”

That’s what it is, then, Carewyn thought. He’s afraid his family’s told me about his departure.

Her red lips came together grimly as she looked down at and took a sip from her own cup, contemplating how best to approach the issue. Then, taking a deep breath, she decided to say very softly,

“...I heard about what happened.”

Percy avoided her gaze all the more even after raising his head.

“...From Bill, I presume?” he muttered.

The thought of her best friend made Carewyn give the slightest, longing wince.

“...No,” she said softly. “We...aren’t speaking, right now.”

Carewyn felt Percy’s wide eyes on her without looking up. There was a long silence, before Percy finally spoke again.

“...I see.”

His voice was very solemn and yet also oddly soft: almost empathetic.

Carewyn swallowed. She could surmise what Percy was probably thinking -- that they’d had a similar falling out -- and as much as she wanted to correct the record, she knew it would be counterproductive. She knew Percy was in denial about Voldemort being back just as much as Fudge was, and he was just as deathly loyal to the Ministry as the rest of his family was to Voldemort. If she told Percy the truth about her helping the Order or the true reason why she wasn’t in contact with Bill or the others, then he would undoubtedly tell Fudge, and everyone else would only be in more danger. And so, reluctantly, she let it lie.

When she looked up, Percy was looking her in the face again -- it made it so that his emotions were suddenly much better for her to read, through his eyes.

“He’s using you, Perce, can’t you see that?”

“ -- wants at Harry -- ”

“ -- know you don’t want to believe it -- none of us do...but You-Know-Who is back, Percy!”

“ -- only believes what he wants to see -- ”

“And what about you? Blindly marching lockstep with Dumbledore, all this time -- even after he let Bill go running off after the Cursed Vaults with Carewyn -- after he left him and Charlie around the likes of Patricia Rakepick -- !”

“Don’t you see, you’re nothing but a pawn Fudge is using to -- !”

“Nothing?! Nothing?! And what have you done with all your time at the Ministry, Dad?! Besides....besides chasing after airplanes and collecting rubbish Muggles chuck away!?”

“At least I’m trying to do something with my life! At least I’m trying to provide for everyone -- to be someone my family can actually be proud of!”

“Ah yes -- proud of. A Ministry brown-noser that bows and scrapes before the likes of weak men like Cornelius Fudge, just to advance himself -- ”

“You’ve NEVER understood me! None of you ever have!”

Arthur’s and Percy’s voices yelling at each other was a strange feeling, for Carewyn. Both of them were destructive like out-of-control, reckless flames, and yet it was oddly vulnerable: like a wounded lion lashing out when deeply hurt.

Carewyn’s eyes flooded with compassion, feeling Percy’s anger second-hand. Percy seemed to sense how much Carewyn was seeing -- before he looked down at his mug again, Carewyn once again could hear Bill.

“ -- it’s called Legilimency -- ”

“Suppose you read my mind, just now?” Percy asked with a dark smile.

Carewyn shook her head.

“Thoughts aren’t something that can be read -- they’re not sentences in a book. I can only sense and feel someone’s emotions and memories.”

She paused. Then she reached out and took Percy’s hand.

“...Percy...I’m sorry your father said that to you,” she murmured.

However right he was about You-Know-Who...and however much it is true that Fudge’s promotion of you was more selfishly motivated than you think...you’ve always worked so hard, to try to do well at the Ministry. Mr. Weasley must’ve known how much all of this means to you...

Percy’s eyes darkened.

“He thinks I’m just thinking of myself,” he said lowly. “That I’m just running after glory for myself, and nothing else. But...”

His hand started to shake as he clenched his teeth, bowing his head.

“...But...but he’s always been the selfish one!” he burst out angrily. “Always running around, dawdling after Muggles...like his job’s nothing but a game! His was the only salary we’ve got to live on, since Mum’s always been at home -- sure, we want him to be happy, and yes, we’ve been able to manage...but we shouldn’t have HAD to just ‘manage!’ He should’ve been providing for us -- he should’ve been trying to climb the ladder, should’ve been looking for a job that could actually pay the bills, rather than make us constantly live on the edge...constantly have to buy things second-hand, constantly have to decline opportunities or make do with rubbish, just because we couldn’t afford better...constantly have to live with the stigma of being one of Arthur Weasley’s boys...”

Percy’s hand inside of Carewyn’s clenched into a fist. Carewyn gave Percy’s fist a gentle squeeze, but she didn’t speak: this was a time to listen, not to talk.

Exhaling heavily, Percy put down his mug of coffee down on the table, so as to protect it from his own temper.

“I wanted to attend the Slug Club party with you,” he mumbled self-consciously. “The one your brother was invited to, before you graduated.”

Carewyn blinked in surprise.

“I’d heard all about the Slug Club from other students,” Percy explained earnestly. “About how Horace Slughorn’s only ever invited those he saw as the most up-and-coming witches and wizards to his events. I thought it’d be exciting to meet so many new, well-regarded people -- maybe talk to Barnabas Cuffe about what it’s like to work as a journalist for the Daily Prophet -- chat with some fascinating up-and-coming authors, before I read their work -- maybe even meet the Gwenog Jones -- tell her how much my little sister idolizes her...”

Carewyn’s eyes welled up with compassion.

“Percy, why didn’t you say anything?” she asked sadly. “Jacob and I would’ve loved to have you join us.”

Percy shook his head. "I was only fourteen. Slughorn would’ve had no reason to talk to me -- I hadn’t done anything that would set me apart as anything other than ‘one of Arthur Weasley’s boys.’ And I already knew I had nothing to wear that would be suitable.”

“Andre would’ve made you something to wear,” said Carewyn, but Percy shook his head again.

“I thought of that, but...at the time, I didn’t want to be treated like a charity case,” he said gloomily. “I was already so much younger than you, and...well, you’ve always been much closer with Bill and Charlie than me. Even Fred and George...”

“That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been welcome,” Carewyn said very firmly, giving Percy’s hand a squeeze. “I only went to that party because of Jacob, and Jacob only went out of a sense of feeling like he had to, after how worried Slughorn was about him all those years. I know Slughorn would’ve loved having another person there who was just as thrilled to be there as he was.”

Percy gave Carewyn a weak smile. Through his eyes, Carewyn could feel just how warm and comforting her sentiment was.

“...Thank you, Carewyn.”

He paused. Then, taking a breath, he took the plunge.

“It’s...it’s lovely that you went to a party you weren’t even interested in, just to support your brother,” he said quietly. “I don’t think any of my siblings would go with me, if I got invited to a Slug Club party...they’ve never been interested in such things...”

Carewyn frowned. “You don’t think Bill or Charlie would’ve supported you?”

Percy looked uncomfortable. “In sentiment, maybe, but...well, Bill and Charlie always spent the most time together, at home. They were always each other’s best friend, before they got to school and met you. And Fred and George of course always had each other...even Ron and Ginny ended up together most often, just because they were the smallest and always needed the most attention...”

“...Leaving you all by yourself,” Carewyn finished grimly.

Percy’s eyes darkened again. Carewyn could sense the remnants of a very lonely bespectacled boy hiding in a hollowed-out tree outside the Burrow, reading a book, coming off of him.

Carewyn’s eyes softened and she gave Percy’s hand another affectionate squeeze.

“I’m sorry, Percy,” she murmured. “It must’ve been really lonely for you sometimes...even with how close your family’s always been...”

Her eyes landed on their hands rather than Percy’s face as she tried to shut out the isolating memories rippling off of Percy.

“...My mum’s family was a lot worse than yours...but she was the black sheep there too...and she’s always said that you should never be lonely, when you’re in a family. Even when you’re physically alone...you should never have to feel alone.”

Percy looked up at Carewyn, his lips twitching into a weak, humorless smile.

“Your mother sounds like a very kind woman.”

He paused. Then, after a moment, he spoke a bit more bitterly.

“...I...don’t suppose Fred’s followed up with you about taking over my old room at the Burrow, now that I’ve left for good?”

Carewyn’s blue eyes welled up with pain.

“...Percy...”

She got up from her chair, extended both of her arms, and encircled him in a big hug. The taller ginger-haired man flinched ever-so-slightly, but almost immediately grabbed onto her in return, burying his face into her shoulder without ever getting up from his seat.

“He didn’t mean it like that,” Carewyn whispered in Percy’s ear. She found herself maternally stroking the younger boy’s hair like she sometimes would Charlie’s, when he was sad.

“I know,” Percy’s voice came out slightly muffled beside her shoulder. “...I know...”

Even so, Carewyn could tell how much that barbed joke had really hurt.

Percy’s arms adjusted a bit around Carewyn, giving her a slightly tighter squeeze before he finally released her. He brought a hand up under his glasses to covertly wipe at the tear that had formed in the corner of his right eye, clearing his throat loudly.

“Excuse me, I...lost my composure. Silly thing...”

“It’s not silly,” Carewyn shut him down sharply.

Softening at once again, she walked over to the waffle iron, which had started to beep. She opened it, levitating out the newly cooked waffle inside with her wand onto a plate before summoning some butter and strawberry compote out of a drawer.

“I realize this makes for a rather sweet breakfast,” said Carewyn as she set about buttering and then drizzling the compote over the waffle. “But...well, Mum used to say that sometimes something sweet in the morning can take off the edge of a bitter night’s sleep.”

Percy eyed the full plate of food and then the clock.

“It looks lovely, but...” he said uneasily, “...I really should be getting back to work...”

“Then take it with you,” said Carewyn. “You can always bring the plate and mug back to me, when you’re done with them.”

Percy’s eyes softened a bit behind his glasses as he picked up his half-full mug and got to his feet. “...All right.”

He accepted the plate from her in his other hand as he headed for the door. He paused in the door frame, looking back over his shoulder at her with a slightly warmer expression.

“...Carewyn...thank you for listening. I mean, you clearly have a full day of work yourself to contend with, and -- ”

“My work might be very important to me,” Carewyn said firmly, “but the only reason it is so important is because it lets me help people. And the people I care about I will always help first.”

Carewyn could imagine Bill standing over Percy’s left shoulder, smiling fully and handsomely as ever. It made her smile that bit more warmly at Percy.

“...My office door is always open, if you need anything,” she said gently.

Percy smiled and nodded, before turning on his heel and heading out of Carewyn’s office, taking another sip of coffee as he went.

Friendship Drabble Prompt!

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #my writing #friendship drabbles #percy weasley #carewyn cromwell #arthur weasley #bill weasley #charlie weasley #jacob cromwell #horace slughorn #yeah I see carewyn and percy really becoming closer while stuck at the ministry together under fudge #percy definitely sees carewyn in a similar way he does bill in the sense that he doesn't agree with all her choices #(namely not being a rule-follower all the time and sometimes being deceptive to achieve her ends)#but also really respects her because of just how caring and paragon she is personality-wise #plus like bill she parents the hell out of people including bill and charlie's siblings #so yeah she also has some molly weasley vibes for all the weasley kids hahahaha #also yes arthur was harsh in that argument but honestly percy went way over the line too AND this involves a political dispute #considering it's about supporting or not supporting fudge and the ministry #so yeah I could see why it would get heated fast and a lot of things would be said that were both cutting and harsher than they meant #I'm looking forward to maybe drawing/writing some content for that slug club party slughorn invites the cromwells to at some point #after that one big merula-centric drawing project I'm working on right now

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siblingshowdown · 1 year

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NOOO I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO SUBMIT MARIO AND LUIGIIIII

A few other people did! Unfortunately, they didn't get chosen because the answers for "what makes them compelling/why should they be included" were annoying and told me nothing

#ask #anon #sorry to the two people who put a mario and luigi answer that made me laugh. this post is not about you #it's about everyone who said i HAVE to include them because they're a STAPLE while not actually telling me anything about their dynamic #because let's be real. in the mario stuff that i have seen you rarely see them together #(this was before the movie dropped i know they have interactions there)#but no one tried to actually describe WHY they're interesting siblings #they just said i needed to include them and then didn't elaborate #which annoyed me

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inmirova · 10 months

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btw this disability pride month make sure to include addicts in your activism. yeah I get that it's infuriating being dismissed as drug seeking when you yourself are not an addict and you need said medication and going through the fucking ringer on controlled substances every month is exhausting but imagine how it must be for the people these rules were made against. addiction alters how your brain functions, it's as much of a disability in its own right as any other mental disorder with physical symptoms is, and it makes people treat you as subhuman. addicts are seen as undeserving of help because they "got themselves into it" which is unbelievable bullshit. we talk all the time about how overexertion is bad for our disabilities, how using tools and mobility aids earlier is more helpful in the long run, but i don't really see people extend the same "let people and tools help you" grace to addicts.

#this is because i was talking to a friend about the fact that pharmacies where i live dont stock needles and syringes #and i told her that i use an anonymous needle exchange program bc i cant buy them out of pocket #and she was like 'isnt that for like. heroin users?' um. yeah and also anyone who is in need of safe equipment?#we have the same needs. we are siblings. the people who run the program started it for iv drug users and extended it #to include their disabled siblings who need it for medication. in what world would it not make sense to include them in our activism #idk this is jumbly because my brain is mush today but jfc #stop using the fact that drug use has been demonized as a point against drug users & blaming them for our problems w medical access #theyre helping us. we need to help them. we are all just people #also like. many addicts turned to drugs/alcohol to cope with disabilities. you couldve been them.#why would you fault them for that?#idk #i was just. shocked to see the 'but thats for scary druggies!' rhetoric come out of her mouth.#some people would see you the same way. this is the way your life turned out and this is the way theirs did. why would you judge them?

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wovenstarlight · 1 year

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other minorly interesting things about riette and noah: despite every other character I can remember having their last name show up in yoojin's status window checks, riette and noah's status windows (c57 and c85 respectively) simply show their first names, no Luire added onto the end. is it a fake name... noah seems to use it in his identity as ark guild leader, so maybe not?? but then why wouldn't it show up there...

#its always full names otherwise! ymw byr ksh etc etc #and since we know noah at least has the full Firstname Lastname combo right from his first appearance it isnt a case of #oh this surname was made up later so it wasnt included #do they... not consider it part of their identity?? i guess i can see why each sibling would feel distance from the concept of #being a part of that family. riette because of her independent nature and noah because. well. noona troubles.#but does that mean the system makes use of personal identifiers for the name section...#if you pick a new name would your system window change #*status window #star.txt #tllb #nsglb #noah luire #riette luire

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daughterofhecata · 1 year

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07, 16, 21, 34, 68 👀

07: What did you last eat?

A raw bit of cauliflower, because I'm currently in the process of cooking cauliflower for dinner and grew up with the view that basically every vegetable can also be eaten raw xD

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Mostly hungry xD but also content, and happy because I have In Extremo playing in the background and that always puts me in a good mood!

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Not much. Got Saturday off, will probably do my reading for American Studies, write a little, might finally get around to cleaning out my wardrobe. I'm working on Sunday morning, afterwards I'll probably just do more writing or read a bit. Absolutely nothing exiting xD

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Just answered ;)

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Idk if our class discussions count (recent topics included the shoah and marxist theory), otherwise it was probably @crazy-walls. Don't think my brother and I have had any deep conversations lately, and talking literature with one if my colleagues doesn't quite qualify, I think.

#thanks for the ask <3 #yeah uh my sibling and i ate basically all vegetables raw as kids including brussel sprouts and zucchini #just because why not #and that stuck xD #ask #bistdueinbaum

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perfaede · 2 years

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after a bout of inactivity and rewatching for inspo i’ve come back to say controversial things in the tags but i don’t hate any of the characters in these tags so don’t act up please

#alr so yk how people say 'if davina were anyone else she wouldn't have been sacrificed'#i have thoughts on that #if davina were anyone else ELIJAH probably wouldn't have sacrificed her #freya still would have though #anyone besides hayley (and not because she matters to klaus and elijah)#(but because she's hope's mother)#could have and would have been on freya's chopping block #all this to say i think its weird when people take it very personal against freya and not elijah #freya would have sacrificed anyone and done anything for her family as we have seen #time and time again #including herself #so idk why its treated as if freya maliciously did this to kol #neither of them did but if we were making an argument for it?#elijah is way more malicious in this case #freya's known kol all of like a month and even though she loves them #she will sacrifice those her siblings care for to save them #because she is very much of the mindset she CANNOT lose them no matter what #she's not acting out of a personal vendetta and she actually showed a ton of remorse #elijah on the other hand definitely wouldn't have done it if it were someone important to klaus or rebekah or freya probably #and to be clear. this isn't against elijah OR freya. i'm just baffled.#on why people take it so harshly against freya??#when elijah is the one with a thousand memories of kol #and he's the one who would have had kol in mind #freya was very set on saving her family no matter the cost #if we're going to hold it against anyone for kol.vina specifically #why is it freya and not the guy who actively treats kol like an afterthought #freya would have sacrificed anyone except hayley.#elijah wouldn't have sacrificed anyone except davina.

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serennedyanonwriter · 11 days

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I’ve given into my urges.

I have made some Resident Evil characters in the Sims4.

The list is kind of weird since I wanted to make some characters related, and I don’t think you can make them related when they’re already pre-existing, but the list of ones I’ve made are: Claire, Chris, Leon, Sherry, Krauser, Luis, Carlos, and Ada.

(I’ll get pictures soon, don’t worry!)

#the embers speak #before anyone asks why Ashley and/or Jill aren’t included #I can only make eight at a time.#I wanted to make Claire and Chris siblings (obviously)#and also make Claire and Leon parents to Sherry #and Krauser was included in the list because I prefer Father to Leon!Krauser #and didn’t want to risk the sims choosing to make them romantic towards each other #sorry metaltango shippers I’m not shipping what I see as a teacher/student relationship #Carlos was made because I love him though if I didn’t add him in this household Ashley would’ve been in his place

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sammydem0n64 · 9 months

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I love lingering when it comes to introducing oc story and lore because ohh oh ohhhhh it’s fun seeing reactions to plot points and discussing them and what not. But it’s also scary because I won’t like it if I’m judged for a story direction because people don’t like a character or smth. But also who caresssss I call it a jumpscare to see horrible people fully comprehend that they’re horrible and try to fix themselves and build themself from the ground up. I call it that fucked up people can realize their wrongs and change themselves for the better. I call it nuance. I call it look at these ocs boy

#I say this specifically because I have plots that I cannot share right now because the haters will sabotage /J #no but forreal listen to me #imagine you’re a piece of shit. and it’s largely because your parents installed their pompous and bigoted views onto you #and from day one you seemed to be the favorite child. your parents adored you. your parents insisted you’d go far.#they acted as if you acted just like them then you’d succeed. and you were succeeding. no one worth your time treated you badly #even though you treat most people badly. INCLUDING your own siblings. if anything you’re encouraged to treat your siblings like ass #so they strive for greatness. but you refuse to see them as anything but great. because THEYRE not YOU. they’re nothing like you #you’re special. you’re perfect. you deserve so much in life and you will go so far in life because of your parents #but then you follow your heart. you were given freedom in life so why not decide to try and date people not on your level #but your parents HATE this!! and when you get your heart broken they refuse to comfort you #they demean you. insult your intelligence. ask where they went wrong raising you. treat you like they treat your siblings.#You did nothing wrong objectively. you just did what you wanted which you had always done! but now it’s wrong!#and you realize... your siblings and other family members also weren’t doing anything wrong. we’re they?#because if this is enough to make your parents treat you like dirt underneath your feet then what did your siblings truly do wrong #are they truly different from you? we’re they truly worthless and deserved to be mistreated?#were you wrong this whole time?#Yes. You were. You fucking sucked!!!! you were horrible for no reason!!!!!!!#So how do you go about trying to make amends? to righting your wrongs?#when you only realized your mistakes through selfishness? because you only realized this when YOU finally got treated like shit?#oh yknow. fuck around and find out I guess

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loriache · 23 days

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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi meta #kabru of utaya #laios touden #labru #laios x kabru #dunmeshi #og post #kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo #the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord.#but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful.#whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite.#even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races #he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits #he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations #he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information #my beautiful machiavellian prince <3 #it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo.#the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt #he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him #without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.

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vaspider · 2 years

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Pete Buttigieg is just a faggot.

It's very important to me that younger queers understand this: to the people who you're trying to be more respectable for when you say things like neopronouns set the trans movement back or you're why the cishets don't accept us or including [aces/bi people with the 'wrong kind' of partners/non-binary people/kinksters/non-passing trans ppl/furries/polyam people] just hurts us, can't you wait until we get all our rights before we talk about some of yours? -- to those people? Pete Buttigieg is just a fag.

On Sunday at Pride Northwest, some kids -- late teens, early 20s -- asked what our button I survived Reagan for this? meant. All of the queer adults at the tables making up our ad hoc counter looked at each other and sighed a little. Emet and another adult started to explain the way that the Reagan Administration handled -- or didn't handle -- the beginning of the AIDS crisis. How many people died. How much we were ignored. The Ashes Action. The Time Magazine article which explicitly blamed bisexual men for passing the pandemic to the cishet community, playing on all the worst stereotypical bullshit. The way that even when the CDC started paying attention, they were so focused on gay men that they ignored AIDS in the lesbian community, leading to the "women don't get AIDS, they just die from it" poster. And so on.

I finished counting out change and passed the last Bear Pride raised fist pin over to a bear a little older than me, then turned my head and interjected, "they didn't care until it started infecting more than just the fags." I turned my head back and handed him his change. He laughed bitterly and said, "remember when they called it 'gay cancer?'"

That what I need you to understand. The people for whom you are folding yourself into smaller and smaller boxes will never see you as anything but a freak. A queer. A dyke. A tranny. A fag.

Never.

These are people who will stand by and let you wither away and die alone, gasping for breath in a cinderblock room, and not even claim your ashes, and they will say you deserve it, because of your lifestyle. If they speak of you at all it will be by the wrong name, with the pictures you hate the most. They will curse at your lover, throw him out of the home you shared, and steal the gift you gave last Christmas to throw it in the trash just so he can't have it and they'll say Jesus loves you! while they do it. They'll feel good and righteous and blessed and holy and pure for doing it.

And for them, you spit in the eye of your sister. For them, you disavow your sibling. For their sake, you trim away bits of your heart and lace yourself up tight. Never too loud. Never too queer. Never inconvenient or embarrassing, never asking for too much.

Pete Buttigieg is what happens when your Boomer dad turns out gay. Middle America. Parents still married. Suburban-sprouted. Valedictorian. Harvard-educated. Rhodes Scholarship. Military service. More power to him: I hope he and Chasten are very happy together. Genuinely, I do.

You couldn't create a more respectable gay if you grew one in a lab run by concerned voter focus groups.

But Pete Buttigieg? Is just a fag.

That's the part you don't seem to get: when they abandoned us, they abandoned all of us. Rock Hudson was a beloved movie star and even personally friendly with that horrid pair of ambitious jackals. Nancy Reagan refused to help him get into the only place in the world that could treat him at the time, and he died.

It was 1985, 4 years after the CDC first released papers on what would eventually become known as HIV/AIDS and 7 years after the first known death from an infection from HIV-2. Reagan hadn't even said the word AIDS by the time Hudson died.

Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, and so am I. Unless I'm a dyke, which seems to depend on who's yelling what from which window and what day it is.

Yes, there will be people who genuinely love and accept you. Those people are worth all the frustration of the rest, thankfully, and they're the ones who love you in a pup mask or a leather harness and a neon jock like the ones sold by the men up the row from us last weekend. They're the ones who laugh out loud when you tell them you hid the word "dyke" in your company name, the ones who love you in all your messiness and uncertainty and the way you don't fit into neat boxes all scrubbed up and clean.

Most cishets, though... well, they don't actively mean you specifically any harm, at least not when they have to look at you. Not when you're right there in front of them. Maybe they'll be okay with you, personally, especially if you're the kind of gay who makes a good rhetorical device, and as long as you remain a good rhetorical device.

They need people to know that they don't have a problem with the gays, after all, and there you are, being all convenient. You make a nice token, and as long as you do, well. You're useful.

But they call you by your deadname when you're not around, and they put the wrong pronouns in your medical record even though they met you years after you came out, and they won't put themselves out to save you. Not one little bit.

I didn't want to be here again. The year I graduated from high school was the worst year of the AIDS crisis. The world into which I became an adult was a world in which an advisor and friend to Reagan, William F. Buckley, openly advocated for forcibly tattooing the HIV status of HIV+ gay men on their buttocks (and IV drug users on their forearms), and in which my father not only told me that when I was 14 or so, but when was told me that he'd advocated for that tattoo being "over their assholes."

(Buckley wrote that in '86, but he doubled down on it in 2005.

Fucker.)

But yeah. I didn't want to be here again. I wanted my daughter to inherit a better world. I wanted Obergefell and Lawrence v. Texas and Hope & Change to really mean something. I work for it, today and all days. I haven't given up.

I need you to know that, too. This isn't a white flag. I'm not surrendering. This isn't over. To misquote Henry Rollins, this is what Marsha and Sylvia and Stormé and Leslie and Brenda and Auntie Sugar trained us for. This is punk rock time.

But I need you to understand that if Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, if that human embodiment of a Wonder Bread, mayo and Oscar Meyer bologna sandwich is not respectable enough for them -- and he's not -- then the rest of us have absolutely no hope of measuring up. Not even if we trim away every colorful, beautiful piece of our community, not even if the Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence vanish into the ether, not even if we sacrifice the five elements of vogue on the altar of white supremacist cishet middle-class conformity: we can't trim ourselves down to something they'll accept.

The only other option is radical acceptance of our queer selves. The only other option is solidarity. The only other option is for fats and femme queens and drags and kinksters and queers and zine writers and sex workers and furries and addicts and kids and the ones who can look us in the eye and see all of us to say we're here, we're queer, get used to it just the way we did 30 years ago. It's revolutionary, complete and total acceptance of our entire community, not just the ones the cishets can pretend to be comfortable with as long as we don't challenge them too much, or it's conceding the shoreline inch by inch to the rising waters of fascism until we've got nowhere left to stand and some of us start drowning.

That's it. Either it's all of us or it's none of us, because if we leave the answer up to the Reagans of the world and all the people who enabled him in the name of lower taxes and Democrats who wring their hands, weeping oh I don't agree with it but we'll lose the election if we fight it right now, the answer is none of us.

The brunch gays can come, too, I guess.

#long post #uncensored slurs #slurs #homophobic slurs #ronald reagan's grave is a gender neutral toilet #lgbtq #queer #trans #transgender #fag #dyke #lgbt

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