#I haven't wrote fanfiction in years and this seems so weird

[i-loved-silly]

Hi! I love giving ideas and you've offered it! Yay!

So can I request a yan! Screenwriter x reader headcannons?

Wrote this while half asleep, feel free to point out any mistakes. This was fun, loser screenwriter x popular actor/actress helloooo

yan! Screenwriter who's obsessed with their favorite actor/actress.

They put in extra effort to interact with you as much as they can, even though you don't often directly work together. Every second counts, they love hearing your voice.

You're a well-known actor/actress, you've had your fair share of odd experiences and coworkers in your life. But by far, THIS was your worst.

At first it was a bit endearing, really. Maybe they were just a fan of your work, they shook your hand so enthusiastically (they never wanted to wash that hand afterwards)

They would add little details in the script to give you more screen time, you were their little star after all. They would save the parts of the film where you’re in it, secretly of course

They were there for all your shots, how supportive! (they were making sure no one else made a move on you)

Oh how they wish they were an actor all of a sudden, that way they would be your potential love interest instead of just writing scenes, the whole world would see the two of you on the big screen. Real or not, it was real to them. They would often daydream about this.

They would quite literally write fanfiction about you and them. Stacks and stacks of printed scripts on their desk back at their apartment. How cute

Suddenly they got touchy with you, you got so much praise from them and they constantly pulled you away from other coworkers. They even went to your big events, as a supporter. They'd take out that camera they haven't used in years, not until you. You look so nice in your formal attire, you'd look even better if you two were matching!!

Your coworkers start to get a little concerned at how fixated they are on you, it's not normal how they are constantly following you around and creepily staring at everyone else like a serial killer. They knew the guy was weird but you really seemed to bring out that side of them.

To you though? Just fan behavior. You’ll humor them for a bit. A part of you liked the attention, you were perhaps a bit cocky.

At some point you accepted their request, they’ve been asking you for ages now to come to their place to review the scripts to your movie. They were elated, to say the least. They spiffied up their place, took a shower, tucked all items they stole from you under their bed, this was the moment they’d ask you to be theirs.

#oc x reader #yandere blog #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere x darling #yanblr #yancore #yandere #yandere scenarios #gn reader #gn yandere #gender neutral reader

[eshtaresht]

🍓, 🛼, 🧃, 🎲 and 🪲 for the writers ask game to say hi since you tagged me in one of ur responses!!! (tag via huginsmemory, thanks for the compliment 🥺💕)

yippee!!! hiii thanks for the ask :3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

haven't read fics in 5+ years -> wasn't interested in trigun fics until I stumbled upon an ace vash fic that really spoke to me -> started getting my own ideas -> realized I don't have the patience to draw a comic and writing words seems faster -> wrote and posted my first fic and got a suprisingly good response -> "well I guess that's what I do now"

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

🌧😱🍄👽🐛 (I shan't say... but it's a weird one)

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I've never broken a bone in my body but I did get my front teeth busted out at the ripe age of 11

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? 

ouch.... executive dysfunction....................

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

oh you sly bastard, got me writing (went a lil overboard so it's 65 words)

Storms are not rare in the desert. Be that an angry cloud of sand covering the horizon and rushing — harsh, abrasive — into the valley, scraping paint off the buildings and smoothing rocks, or thunder roaring in the distance, discharge splitting the night in two, the people of no man’s land are used to it. Now, a rainstorm? Well, rain is an honest to god miracle.

#answered #rotten log talk

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

25, 30, 32, 38 😘

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

In original fiction: Detroit is the only [redacted] character who knows how to drive. She can drive stick. This never comes up, because nobody ever drives a car. She's kind of sad about this because she really, really wants to show off.

(I am very excited for you all to meet Detroit and everyone else soon.)

In fanfiction: Buck and Eddie have completely different preferences in ice cream. Buck likes more 'out there' flavors and also enjoys mint chocolate chip. Eddie thinks mint tastes like toothpaste and would like to know what's wrong with a good classic chocolate. This has been touched upon briefly - if I recall correctly, in The Hating Game AU and in a ficlet that will be added to the Fractals from the Lightning Bolt collection - but I've never really gone into detail about it and they have yet to have any kind of conversation about it in a fic despite the many imagined arguments they've had about it in my head.

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

Oh yes, dreams play a big role in my writing, especially in my original novels. The power of dreams is a recurring theme in my writing and many of my original ideas started as plots that I dreamed up and hastily wrote down in the morning before I forgot. Hints of that have shown up in my fanfic, most notably in the Reincarnation AU. In two of my current WIPs, dreams and what they mean play a pretty significant role as well.

I haven't ever dreamed of myself writing in my dream, just dreaming a plot that I liked and held onto upon waking. But who knows what might happen.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

I have a few. I'm a sucker for Neruda's Sonnet XVII. But there's a title of a fanfic that has haunted me for years: "pressed against the pending physics of my passed-down last name." It just rolls off my tongue and bounces around in my head so nicely. I love the alliteration. And it conjures up such a specific circumstance, about how you struggle against the frustrating bonds of the family you were born into, and how it can seem impossible to escape.

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

I will often get up and act out dialogue. I will also, occasionally, get into sex positions to try and figure out where I want limbs to go. This has led to me contorting my body in some pretty weird ways because I'm being both myself and the other person. XD

#mads answers things #weird writing questions #extasiswings #I loved answering these thank you darling

[paranorahjones]

19, 27, 33, and 38 for the writing asks💜💜

Aaaaaaaaaa I love you!! 💙💙

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I remember (and still have, somewhere) the first original story I ever wrote. I believe I was seven years old, and in the JANKIEST handwriting possible I wrote a couple pages of a story titled "The Alley Cat". It was about a Siamese kitten getting lost in the woods and meeting a lot of woodland creatures, including the Queen of the Field Mice. 😂

I think I started writing because, like a lot of writers, I didn't feel like I could stop myself from writing. It just felt as natural as breathing, to want to write. I've always had a very active imagination and a rich inner life (can you tell I'm an introvert lol), and I had to express it somehow or I'd go crazy. And that's still true today. While I do often experience long bouts of writer's block due to burnout/exhaustion, it's still something that's very integral to me, and probably always will be.

I have several original projects that I work on regularly and hope to publish one day, but currently I'm having the time of my life just writing Lockwood & Co. fanfiction. I haven't felt this inspired in a long time and it's given me something to look forward to every single day.

27. Who is the most stressful character you've ever written? Why?

Honestly I was SUPER stressed out writing my first Locklyle fic, You Don't Have To Do That, from Lucy's point of view. I had only read part of the first l&co book at that point and was very worried I wouldn't do her justice. Looking back on that fic now after having read all the books, I do think I could have made her a lot more "Lucy" than how I wrote her. But a lot of people seemed to like that fic, so I don't beat myself up about it. The difference between that fic and Adrenaline Rush is fun for me to look back on because I'm much more familiar with her inner voice in Adrenaline Rush.

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

I draw, occasionally! Though I'm hoping to start doing it more regularly. I would love to be able to draw characters from my head and illustrate my own works for fun. That's the current art goal!

I also embroider a lot, but that doesn't tie into my writing. I just like customizing my clothes.

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share.

I don't do this now, but back when I used to use Google Docs for all of my writing instead of Word, I would color code all of my documents and change the page color of all my favorite ones to a specific shade of dark teal. I think I was probably just hankering for some kind of dark mode (why the heck does Docs not have that built in??).

Also . . . on a couple occasions, I have been known to create my characters in The Sims 4 and make them live together to watch them interact and get inspiration from what they do (who knew Destry and Ophelia would enjoy cooking together?? Not me!). It's DEEPLY fun.

Thank you for this super fun ask!!! 💙💙💙

[rat-father]

Very long personal vent(?) about writing

Just needed to put it into words for myself

Writing stuff and coming up with characters and stories when I was a child was so much more fun then it is now

I remember that for a class we were required to come up with a story that had to be exactly 1 a4 page long on google docs, not any longer and not any shorter

And I was so upset that we weren't allowed to make it longer because I was having so much fun writing about these strange characters in this strange world doing weird things

I don't exactly remember the details of what it was about but I vividly remember it being something about a murderous fish with silver fish and a man living in a tower in the middle of the ocean, and something about them helping each other in some way

I had to leave that story on a cliff hanger bc I didn't have space to write more but I remember enjoying myself so much writing it

I also wrote fnaf fanfiction when I didn't even know what fanfiction was, and it was about the fnaf 1 characters finding a strange elevator in the kitchen which led down to the fnaf sister location

There was also the time I came up with a whole character backstory on a whim for a role play I was participating in

And now, mostly the last few months, it's just been so difficult for me to get myself to actually write stuff

I don't hate doing it, I don't necessarily hate the results but I'm not happy and excited the way I was years ago

Years ago I was waiting for my brother to be done using the family computer so I could get back to writing these silly stories and now I have to drag myself over to attempt and write a few words which I won't be satisfied with

And if I do finish writing something it doesn't bring the same joy

I love writing, I love my characters and I love posting it online but it feels limited and forced in way

I feel like subconsciously im forcing myself to fit my writing into a certain category or limit myself to certain tropes or something that's holding me back

I want to write silly stories about fish that kill people but I can't seem to come up with weird concepts like that anymore even though I *love* them

I love fever dream type stories which simultaneously make sense but also don't and are amusing and weird

But I also want to write more "character study" type stories, which explore certain concepts or things and are more rambles then stories which don't necessarily have a plot but are simply fun to read

I don't know why I don't write that stuff anymore, I dont know if I still *can*, the things I came up with as a child came so naturally I have to force it now if I want to imitate it and it upsets me

Writing stuff genuinely brought me so much pure joy, it was fun and made me happy while I was miles deep in depression

I haven't felt that raw joy from writing in so long and it's left me so unmotivated while I know that I love doing it

I love writing but it doesn't make me happy and it's frustrating

I don't know if I'm subconsciously forcing myself to write stuff closer to what I read on here or if I'm just mentally stuck in the past holding on to what isn't there anymore

Whatever it is, I don't want to stop writing, but I also don't feel a reason to continue

It's so genuinely exhausting to write nowadays, I physically can't do it without constantly yawning and my eyelids becoming heavy and I wish that was a joke

I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what I should do differently or if there's anything I can do but I just want to be happy, I want to feel excited at the thought of being able to write like I used to

I think it may have something to do with me joining the whump community as well, like I'm forcing myself to only come up with whump related content because that's what I love to read

And I love writing whump stuff and I love my whumpees but I also love silly goofy stories but I don't allow myself space for that type of stuff

I also feel that if I were to post writing completely unrelated to whump and completely self indulgent nobody would care or see it which is a bit upsetting

I definitely don't want to stop reading or writing whump but at the same time it might be holding me back a bit and that's not fun to think about or admit out loud

I truly do love it but lately it's been feeling dry and I think it has to do with the fact that whump has been my sole focus for so long that I'm yearning for something fresh

I was reading and writing whump so exclusively that I've just been overdoing it and the well has long run dry

I feel that if I take a break from whump altogether and focus on writing other type of stuff I might? spark interest in writing again, but I don't have any clue on where to start

The stuff I came up with as a child was so random and I have no idea on how to replicate it although I love it so much

#🐀

[tarnishedxknight]

Random Mun Rant on Writing Process... and Dusty Works of the Past

{out of dalmasca} I'm gonna tell everyone right now, this post has almost nothing to do with this blog, but I'm just feeling so creative and nostalgic for my own original writing that this needs to come out somehow. Be prepared for a random "writer's process" rant below. feel free to skip over it if you're not interested, because I realize this is a weird thing to randomly post on an rp blog. Sometimes muns just need to revisit their process for writing, and this is that. =)

My creative brain is really firing up now that I'm feeling so much better physically and I don't have the constant anxiety of wondering if every meal is going to send me to the hospital. Whenever I get a burst of creativity like this, I often become nostalgic for the books I wrote when I was younger, when life wasn't so complicated, and when I had more time and clarity of mind to accomplish such things. That's all this post is going to be, me ranting about some stuff. Totally OOC and having little to do with this actual blog except that one of the characters I'll be talking about has the same FC as Noah and Basch, heh. Sometimes you just need to rant about your mindbabies, you know? XD

So I use C.hris H.ems.worth as the FC for Basch and Noah now, but they're not the first characters I used him for. Back in the day, I wrote a pair of books that were admittedly not very good, heh. But they were mine, and like all the books and short stories I'd written, I loved them with all the love a creator has for their creations, regardless of their imperfections. These books were notable, however, simply for the fact that they were the only ones I ever formally published. You see, I had the crazy idea some 10-15 years ago that I was going to be a professional writer. That's what I wanted to do more than anything in the world. Unfortunately, time and some very painful reviews of these first two books I published would teach me that I simply did not have the talent for it.

Hardly anyone read the second book, because of some issues with publishing that made the audience wholly unable to find it, or if they did, they had no idea what it was. But a decent number of people read the first book. While I did receive some very nice reviews, I received others that spoke of unrealistic characters, too much exposition, villains that were neither scary nor much of a real threat, and a bland simplicity of writing style that rivaled even the worst YA books one could dredge up from the discount shelf at a used bookstore.

Looking back now, I see that they were absolutely right, and although I've since lost the ability to write novels (a casualty of my mother's death that I still cannot explain), time and practice has made be a better writer, if only in a fanfictional and rping sense. So now I have the maturity as a writer, but no ability to write novels, were as back then I had all the time, focus, and drive... but limited ability. Those scathing reviews were right, I know that now, and I no longer pursue writing from a professional standpoint. I'm not mentioning what they are for a reason, heh. I don't want this to seem like a shameless plug for them, nor do I necessarily want anyone reading them anymore. I haven't taken them down from the sites they're on, but they've fallen into obscurity, having never really broken out into anything in the first place, and I'd rather just leave them there. If anyone would like to know, feel free to message me, I'd just rather not like... advertise them out in the open, heh. But trust me, you're not missing anything, heh.

Anyway... that doesn't mean I hate the books. Far from it. Like I said, they're mine, I made them out of nothing, and I will always love them. If I don't love them with my whole heart, no one else will, so... all of my original writing is so very precious to me. That fictional world was not as developed as some of my later ones were, but the characters were some of my favorites. They also had the distinguished position of being my mother's favorite books that I wrote, particularly the first one. She was a nurse, and the pair of books centers around a race of people with magical abilities, one of which can be healing. One of the main characters in the first book was a healer, and what becomes of him and the path the book takes was something that apparently spoke to my mother. She said she loved the book. She was always my biggest fan, really. Her and my grandfather, and neither of them are with me anymore.

The night before I went in for surgery, I couldn't sleep. I was nervous, anxious, and really whenever I have anything important to do the following day I never sleep anyway, haha. So I listened to music, which isn't odd, but what I chose maybe was. Out of nowhere, some of the music I chose to listen to were songs that I had associated with the writing of these two books. I hadn't thought about those books in years, hadn't listened to the music, so what possessed me to suddenly think about the books my mother loved the best of anything I'd written the night before surgery that I felt very alone in dealing with? She was always the person who would help me through things like that, being a nurse and all. Without her, I was feeling very adrift. I'm not a religious or superstitious person at all, but... part of me wanted to take that as some kind of sign, heh.

The artist's name is Ryann, and they were kindof starting on YouTube back when I originally started writing the first book, so the first song that I associate with the first book, was admittedly amateurish in style and simplicity, but... it had the right tone for my book. To this day, it's still the "theme song" for it, particularly for the rather sad events towards the end of it. There's even a little mistake in the piano playing at 2:10, heh, but I kindof? Love it? Because to me, Ryann was just starting out and making mistakes with their music just as I was with my own writing.

By the time I had finished the second book, Ryann had revised the song into a second incarnation, having improved upon their playing and songwriting to make more nuanced and complex pieces, which just felt so perfect to then have that represent my book's longer, more complex sequel. And then they had another song that fit the tone of the sequel as well. I particularly love the part that begins at 3:15. Ryann has since made many more songs, so please check out their others if you like their earlier ones. =)

Then there's one other song that I associate generally with these two books, made by another artist on Y.ouT.ube that I love, Adrian von Ziegler. I've drawn inspiration from a number of their songs for a few of my novels over the years. So yeah, these four songs together are the sound of these pair of books, the emotion I felt in writing them set to music. I still get chills when I listen to them, because they take me back to the person I was when I wrote those books, and the mindset I had at the time.

Anyway, getting back to faceclaims, sometimes when I draw from Snow White and the Huntsman for some of Basch's icons or whatever, I'm reminded of a character from the second of these two books, a young man named Kyrin. He was the son of a man whose FC was S.ean B.ean from Black Death.

Kyrin's mother was of a different ethnicity than his father and had brown skin and hair, so I usually use this pic of Eric for him because the lighting makes it look like he has slightly darker skin, heh.

And, totally randomly, the FC (and voice claim as well) for the most main character and narrator of both books, an erudite university student and then professor Tannor Fitzgerald, is T.om M.ison from Sleepy Hollow, for those who remember that awesome show.

Even more randomly, another recurring major character for both books is Austin, a young former conscript whom Tannor hires as a bodyguard in the first book, and they become fast friends. His FC is R.yan K.wanten, of Dead Silence and True Blood.

Gosh, remembering all these people is making me strangely happy. It's fun to revisit where your head was at when you worked on certain creative pieces years ago, and the crap that I still have all stored up in my brain from the thousands of characters I've created for my novels and short stories over the years kindof blows my mind, haha.

I've really wished over the years that I had the knowledge, time, and ability to make my own website where I could post my works. I have SO many books and short stories that are not good enough to be published, but someone might enjoy them? Or even just these two reject books that were self-published but never really went anywhere, lol. But I have no idea how to make my own site and I do worry about people just... outright stealing my stuff. Although good luck making money off of it, I think I made a grand total of like $30 off my books over 7 years or so before people stopped reading them entirely, sooooo.... yeeeeah. XD But I always wished I could share them with more people.

More recently, especially in light of being very likely to lose my job soon, I have thought about P.atr.eon. But... I really shy away from charging money for my writing because it's really not worth it. I'm not a terrible writer, but I'm far from amazing, and it just doesn't feel right to charge for sub-par content. Plus, all I have is what I have, and when it's gone, when I'm done serializing it, I can't write any more... because as I've said, I've lost the ability to write novels since 2017 when my mother passed away. So it seems stupid to start up a whole Patreon account, gain patrons, and then be like WELP, THAT'S ALL I GOT, BYE. Pfffftttt.....

I've also toyed with the idea of creating a blog that's entirely for my writing. Like... only my OCs from my books. Like a mumu for my own worlds, heh. People could have threads with the individual characters or be in "sandbox" threads where their character wanders my world and encounters many characters. The problem with this is... nobody knows wtf my worlds even are, or the characters either. I'd have to explain. And there's... too much to explain. And every muse would need an extensive bio. Some of them I already have, like... I can move Channe, Jix, Strychthia, Aryx, Aurelien, and any other muses from my original writings that I have over to a new blog, but... there are hundreds more I could potentially draw from. The sheer amount of time it would take to set up a blog like that, make it private, maybe even password it to limit it to only a select few people I'm comfortable with.... it's.... too much. And then if no one is interested after I do all that work, I'd just feel so dumb, haha.

I guess what I'm saying is that... lately I've gotten nostalgic for my old writings and, as I have so many times in my life, I feel like I want to do something with them. But there's... nothing much to do. So I guess you guys get this rant, hahaha. That's what I'm doing with them right now. I have so many lives, worlds, creatures, and situations in my head, and so much love for them all, that it seems wrong to just... do nothing with all of that. I want to share them with people. I want other people to get excited about them with me. The limited number of OCs I've brought to this site, though, have... not.... done well at all. So maybe it's just not meant to be? What do you think?

I will say, that if anyone does want me to rant about these books or any others, or has any random writing questions for me... lemme tell you. Writers. Eat that shit up. Like. You would not believe. Ask a writer about their process or their projects/completed books and wooow... we light up like the freaking full moon, haha. So feel free to inquire, please do, but otherwise if ANYONE made it this far and you're still reading this random rant that came out of nowhere... I love you and I don't deserve you as a friend/followers. XD Thank you for indulging my writing brain in all this mess. Now back to our regularly scheduled FFXII stuff. XD

#{ out of dalmasca } ᵒᵒᶜ #{ silence writes }

[sharpestsatire]

Weird questions for writers: 7, 8, 15, 21, 25, and 27?

Thank you so much for the questions! :D

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

I love exploring concepts and morals. I like pitting them against each other and working at issues that way. Usually the issue is a pet peeve I have that society holds to or I see too often in media.

I also love when I'm writing and it clicks. The scene just springs onto the page almost too fast to catch but it all works and makes sense. Everyone is in character and the plot is perfect without effort. It's a heady feeling seeing everything pull together seamlessly.

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

It would be a metaphor for loss. Use a lot of desolate imagery.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

I write in the margins of my books in pencil so I can erase spelling mistakes or accidental scribbles I make when I write notes and underline passages. I dog ear pages until I can go back and underline whatever line caught my eye. Dog ears are for coming back to lines. Scraps of paper are bookmarks. I don't take baths so.... That's why I don't read in the bath. I don’t judge people about any of the things above because that would be hypocritical lol. We can definitely be friends still!

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

Well, I unintentionally quit writing for... Eh, two ish years a bit ago. Just got busy with life and relationships and metamorphosing. As one does. Been writing on and off for the past two years tho. More recently with my writing group back in session.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

I realize this may sound egotistical but my main character is based on me. However she's got some of my vices amplified to make her a specific way to force her to become something better. The story is more personal and what I want to read.

Anyway her being based on me makes her easier to write. As a result I know a lot about her that's completely useless to the plot just because she's based off me. So she... dog ears books.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Hmmm I haven't written any stressful characters per se but I have written difficult characters in how I have to write tensely to make sure they don't slip out of character. It's like trying on a dress that's just a little too big. It almost fits but it slides off your shoulder if you're not careful and adjusting everything every few steps.

Two come to mind. One was a character I wrote who was a space captain. Cold and distant and barked orders but her actions, even tho rough, spoke of how deeply she cared for her crew and family. I found it difficult to write her at times as every time she spoke or interacted she was very reserved and didn't show any affection which is not how I write characters usually. Normally my characters are active and react off each other, like a normal conversation, but it's hard to have characters talk to each other when one gives off absolutely NO vibes. So it's like writing one character talking to a monotone wall. I wanted to write a story around honor and sacrifice, without the characters being dramatic. So she made a deal that kept her from separate her siblings who she loved desperately but they were taken care of in the end if she kept her deal. The point was to try and show that despite how reserved and distant she seemed she cared deeply and sacrificed a lot. It was about what love looks like and how deep it runs etc

The other was a fanfiction. Writing Thor (Thor 2001, Thor: TDW era) was difficult because he spoke slowly and carefully and there were freaking LAYERS I had to work into nearly every conversation because of the plot I had revolved around Loki coming back to earth. And Thor loves his brother so.... It was slow going.

#Me Myself and I #ask me #brambleberrycottage

[bun-bun-bum]

Can We Talk? - Chapter 1

A 3 am Klance fanfic. I’m gonna post this on Ao3 but I have to wait to get an account so here it is. Do I know what direction I’m taking this in? Nope. Are my writing skills the best? Nope. But hey hey hey am I still gonna continue this? Nope Maybe!

Chapter 2  | Chapter 3

Lance sends Keith out of all people a video at 4 am, along with 57 messages that get increasingly more and more worrisome. Something is wrong.

“I'm not really sure how to start this,”

Keith smiled. Was Lance ever sure about anything?

“There's just so much I want to say...”

Lance always had too much to say.

“...I hope this doesn't get too long.”

Wait. Keith paused the video and checked the length of it. 30 minutes?! He rolled his eyes and sighed. Typical Lance. Might as well get comfortable, he thought as he reluctantly got up out of bed and tiptoed towards the kitchen to grab a 4-am snack.

He opened the fridge and tried to pick between leftover pie that Shiro had put a sticky note over that said “Mine!” or leftover pizza that Pidge had put a “Touch this and die” note on top of, but his heart was just not into it. All he could think about was the video that Lance had sent him. It wasn't like Lance to be up at 4 am, the guy had to get his so-called “Beauty Sleep”. Plus he was at home, no way would his mom let her little “Lancy Lance” be up after 12. But nonetheless, he had sent him a text in the dead of night that read, “Keith Whatever-Your-Middle-Name-Is Kogane, you better watch this video or so help me God I will fly to Texas and kick your ass”.

Keith had rolled his eyes and laid back into bed to go to sleep but found himself lying awake for 10 minutes, pondering the explanations behind the text. It wasn't like Lance didn't text him often, he did daily to mostly send him pictures of disgusting images and say “Hey it's you” and other immature jokes since he couldn't do them in person. But this time, something was off.

Maybe it was because, for the 10 minutes where Keith lied trying to sleep, Lance spammed him with 57 messages that got increasingly more and more worrisome with each buzz.

It started off the way Lance usually spammed Keith:

Keith

Keith

Keeeeeith

Keef

Beef

Hey

Man

Dude

Buddy

Bro

Pal

Chum

U there?

Don't tell me you’re sleeping

Laaaaaame

Sleep is for the weak

But it started getting...different?

Keith

I know u’re up

U probs pulled an all-nighter again

You can take a break and WATCH THE GODDAMN VIDEO

U r such a dick

Just watch the video it ain't hard

Omg I'm talking like u now

C’mon Keith

Are you mad at me?

And then:

Please

Keith please

Don't ignore me

Please don't ignore me

Are you mad at me?

Please don't be mad.

I’m sorry I'm spamming you.

I just

Need you to watch this video right now

It can't wait until the morning

I need a response Keith

Keith

Please watch the video

I have no idea what I’m doing

It's important

To me anyway

I guess you can live without knowing

But I can't

You’ll probably hate me afterward

I did a bad thing

A really really bad thing

Like

I fucked up man

And

I don't know what to do

I'm crying right now

No joke

Please

Can we talk?

Keith

Help me

And then ended with this final message:

I'm sorry.

Keith immediately knew something was up, Lance never said “please” or “sorry”. Something was very wrong.

He walked back into his room, juggling his plate of pie and pizza along with his phone and glass of almond milk. Balancing them all on his bedside desk, he flopped back into bed, wrapped himself in his blankets, and helped himself to pizza and milk before pressing play.

Lance’s usually cheerful face looked nervous and downcast today.

“So...you’re probably wondering why I sent this video. The reason? I'm dead.”

Keith choked and spat out his milk. No. No no no no no no no. That was more than impossible, how could Lance have been spamming him for the last 10 minutes then? Not possible. Unless that wasn't Lance.

Keith had almost begun putting together the theory that Lance had never even existed when Video-Lance laughed.

“Ah, dude I'm obviously joking.”

Dang.

“The reason I made this video, the real reason is….”

Lance shuffled in his seat awkwardly, the desk lamp shining upon him reflecting the trickles of sweat forming on his forehead. The background of his video was unfamiliar, very different from what Keith was expecting. When Lance was home, whenever he Skyped his friends he always did it in his room, in front of his bed and behind his desk. Keith had memorized the placements of the photographs on his walls of his family and friends, the Paladin armor, and Garrison uniform that he had hanging up on his closet door, and his always open window and turned-on fan to keep his room cool during the hot summers in Cuba.

But the background was different this time. A neatly made bed was behind him, with no familiar photographs to be seen on the walls. From the direction he was filming Keith could see no windows or closet. Perhaps he was in a hotel room on vacation with his family? Keith wouldn't have been surprised, Lance’s family always did something extravagant when he came home. He was lucky.

Keith didn't realize that he had zoned out for a couple of minutes and yelped when he saw Lance rubbing his eyes. Oh no no no no no. Fuck what happened? What did he miss? Was Lance crying? Did something happen? Is he alright? Damn it, he was a bad friend, he couldn't even pay attention for more than 2 minutes. Keith mentally slapped himself and rewind the video to catch up for the time he wasn't listening.

“....because I want to talk. But like, you’re annoying and I don't want you to keep interrupting me but I still want a response in the end so I'm gonna film myself and send it to you rather than Skype or whatever.”

Keith groaned and all his feelings of worry for Lance vanished. Typical.

“...but also, I don't think I could even say this while seeing your face. Even if it's through a screen, I just….I don't know. I just can't. Maybe I'm scared? I don't know I just….don't want you to judge me.”

Keith frowned. He knew they weren't that close but he never thought that Lance would ever think that he’d seriously judge him. They were friends after all. Just barely, but they were friends.

Then again Lance had other friends. Why wasn't he talking to them?

“You’re probably thinking that I should be talking to some of my other friends right?”

Was this guy psychic?

“Well jokes on you because I have no friends.”

Lance stopped himself and rubbed his temple. “Joking again, I need to stop that this is serious. I mean, I could have talked to other people yeah, Hunk’s a great listener, Shiro gives great advice, and Pidge is real about stuff, but I can't bother them at what, 5 in the morning? You’re the only one I'd wake up in the middle of the night or morning or whatever to ask for advice, Samurai.”

Lance gave the camera his iconic little flirty smile and Keith couldn't help but smile as he scoffed. Of course, that's why he woke him up. He didn't have any other options.

“And, I really want your help right now.”

That was new.

Lance took a shaky deep breath, running a hand through his messy hair and rubbing his watery puffy tired eyes. Keith stared at them. Was he….crying before this?

“So I fucked up. Yeah, I know, not surprising, I know I know, hilarious. But seriously. I messed up really really badly, Keith. Where do I even begin….”

Lance held his arms to his chest and lowered his head. He took a shaky breath.

“Keith….I ran away.”

#I haven't wrote fanfiction in years and this seems so weird #I'm a shitty writer but I have the general concept in my head #so why not write it lol #it's not like I have a shit ton of work to do #i have to go do that oh damn #voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #keith kogane #keith vld #keith voltron #lance mclain #lance voltron #lance vld #klance #fanfic

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Since you really seem to love Sherlock fanfiction, I wondered if you did ever write something yourself? And would like to share it with us? 😊 Sorry, I'm curious. 😂

Hey Nonny!

No, don't be sorry, I'm honoured!

Yes, I actually have! My first forays into fandoms WAYYYYYYY back in the 90's was writing fanfiction for the Sonic Fandom (I am the author of the Metallic Touch Series, if any of y'all are still around and are now here). These days I stick to little ficlets when I do write, for multiple fandoms (the one I'm actively TRYING to finish is a Red Dwarf fic) and I have published a few on Ao3 (I have a few more ficlets on Tumblr I haven't published yet but they are on my google drive to edit and post). I do write off and on here and there, and it sounds weird, but I don't really promote my own work because it makes me feel bad (I know, hypocritical of me to tell everyone to promote their stuff, but not me, hah). That and I genuinely don't believe people like them.

I want to eventually write a meta-fic for S4 based on the Secret Episode ficlet I wrote years ago. I've been planning it for years, but my self-esteem is shit and motivation is zero.

Anyway, since you asked (and thank you for asking, I'm legit humbled and honoured), here are the ones I've currently published and links to the tumblr posts of ones I haven't posted on Ao3 yet (they will be eventually, I just nitpick so much edits that after drafting to Ao3, I end up losing it because I keep picking at it (drafts save for only a month), hence the google docs now):

I-J's JOHNLOCK FICS

See also:

Untitled/Not-on-Ao3 First Kiss Ficlet

Untitled/Not-on-Ao3 Hudders POV Caught in the Act Ficlet (this is the next one I plan on publishing, but I keep nitpicking it)

Not-on-Ao3 "The Secret Episode" Ficlet Snippet

And my first unfinished smutfic has been drafted on Tumblr for over 2 or 3 years... if you're interested in reading it, let me know, I'll try to actually finish it and post it.

And not Johnlock, but I have written a published Megamind fic on FFNet, After Shock.

My Sonic fics are no longer online, as far as I know, and got wiped when Crosswinds wiped all of their free users' websites. I have them somewhere on a harddrive.

Soft. Happy. Content. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 223 w., 1 Ch. || Sleepy Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Spooning, Morning After, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock reflects on his state of mind. Part 6 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Do You Wanna Study Together? by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 824 w., 1 Ch. || Kidlock || POV Sherlock, Different First Meeting, Fluff) – All he wanted to do was to be left alone and study in peace. Part 1 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

The Healing Touch by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 2,307 w., 1 Ch. || Caretaking,  Domestic Fluff, Stroppy Sherlock, John Loves Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sofa Cuddles, Insecure Sherlock) – Sherlock's broken his foot and he's becoming unbearably stroppy. Good thing John has the healer's touch... ;) Part 3 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Corn Dog Daddy by inevitably_johnlocked (M, 2,719 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock POV, Fluff and Crack, Corn Dogs, Fairgrounds, Coming In Pants, Euphemisms, Military Kink, Flirting, Sexy John, BAMF John, Smol Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock and John wind down after a case in a small town at a county fair. Sherlock's imagination goes awry as John's sexiness drives him crazy. Also: John knows how to handle a meat stick. Part 2 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fics #i hope you guys like them

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

3, 4 & 12!

3: favorite line/scene you wrote this year

Halfway through the sandwich, Jon says, “They smell like home. That’s why I smoke them.”

Martin blinks at him. “What?”

“The cigarettes.” Jon rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “They smell like home. That’s why I started smoking them. Didn’t even like them at first, but. Addiction’s a funny thing.”

This entire scene in chapter 9 of Nhthcth where Martin is trying to get Jon to eat in the break room, though mostly this bit, has probably been my favorite scene this year. It has this awful sense of tragedy to it? We can tell something awful has happened even we don't know the details of what yet. But it's also undercut with this odd, unconditional kindness of Martin giving Jon his lunch, of noticing that something's wrong even if no one else does.

I like the cigarette line especially because that's the sort of admission that Jon would never otherwise make. He's not the sort of person who gets to keep good things, so he tends to not admit things to be good while he has them. He's used to being either hurt or dismissed out of hand, and he doesn't expect anyone to care about the why of what he does. He's used to his desires and personhood being at best decoration and at worst a thing to be weeded out. So for Jon to actually take the time to say "this, this is why i'm doing this, i've lost something and i miss it terribly and that's a horribly inconvenient thing for everyone around me, i don't trust anyone with myself but here, you can have this important bit" is just. such a painful thing. This is probably the point in Jon's life that he's struggling the hardest and this small act of kindness on Martin's part was one of the best things to happen to him in a long time.

A close second is when i kill off the queen of england and replace her with a possessed wax figure in gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, purely because like, a day after i published it the news was circulating about how the queen of england was being admitted to the hospital and was disappearing from the public eye and had like, weird purple hands and there was a acid trip of a moment where the thought entered my mind that my fanfiction was fucking death note

4: total number of words you wrote this year

i've published 197,853 words on ao3 this year. no idea how many i actually wrote--i have some original works that i've been developing for a while now, and i have no idea how many words are scattered across those docs, and i start way more fanfiction than ever actually makes it to the posting point. a lot of works end up left in my drafts because they're too long to commit to right now or because while it was fun to start, I didn't like it enough to spend the time making it a whole project. i probably only publish like, a third or so of what I actually write?

12: favorite character to write about this year

i just started this wip (the first step of kintsugi) but i love peter parker. I love him with my whole heart and he's so fun to write. especially up against someone like frank castle, where they really can clash in a way that beautifully showcases their characters. they're both such strong willed people and have such opposite stances on so many things, it just is perfect to explore their individual character types.

like, i'm super bitter about how the mcu used his character (a lot of it centered around the utter exclusion of uncle ben and the fact that the writers seem to think that the most famous comic book hero of all time can't stand on the merits of his own storylines and instead keep chaining him to tony stark or dr strange) but he was my favorite character growing up and he remains one of my favorite characters to write.

i don't know if this counts, because I've written a decent chunk of this fic but i haven't committed to publishing it yet, but i have this fic i fondly refer to as the bucky barnes designated driver au, wherein matt murdock makes so many wrong decisions they round out to be the right decisions and invites a recovering bucky barnes to live with him, and bucky barnes ends up acting as the only responsible adult to the entire new york vigilante population. The version of peter parker in that fic is my favorite, he is so chaotic and such a little shit.

he takes the most ridiculous, extreme actions in response to all of his life problems. he will do fucking anything if someone fucks with his loved ones, and if questioned, his only explanation is "i am a ride or die." he has an espionage phase. he is gaslighting the entire new york police department. he hires himself as the nelson, murdock & page intern by telling foggy that karen hired him and telling karen that matt hired him and letting matt assume that one of the other two hired him. his problem solving is at 100% and his communication is at 0%. if you ask him what he is doing at any given moment he will throw himself out a window. he hustles frank castle, as peter parker, into buying him free food, with frank castle having no idea this boy is spiderman. in a storyline that i lamentably had to discard, he frames captain america for attempted kidnapping and his only defense when he gets caught is "i almost gaslighted my way out of that like a girlboss."

peter parker is a boy who, at age 14, got bit by a weird ass spider and was so dedicated to the aesthetic that he spends the rest of his life flinging himself through the city on webs of his own design at 120mph using web shooters he created from half a toaster and parts he bought from a radio shack for $37. and it fucking works. he is so chaotic and i love him so, so much.

#tma #nhthcth #peter parker #the first step of kintsugi #jon sims #martin blackwood #ask game

[olivieblake]

hi olivie! this is may seem weird, but I read the last chapter of Nobility before starting it (in case of untagged tragedy, I always do that with fanfiction), and I read your author's note about how the fanfiction community is unforgiving towards creativity. and I'm so, so so sorry about that. I haven't read nobility yet, I'm halfway done with how to win (that story is utter fucking brilliant btw, and it makes me cry with laughter)

I've fallen out of love with fanfiction a lot this year. it has nothing to do with the authors, and everything to do with the current state of mind the fandom is in right now--everything's either a dark, dark voldemort-wins au, a forced marriage fic, a post-war fic centered arounded character development, or child/pregnancy-centric fic, and they follow the same generic plot. no hate to any author here, but none of these are my style. there's no creativity, no uniqueness.

your fics, your plots, are the most creative, the most orginal I've seen in fanfiction. I've read clean, marked, divination for skeptics completely--which are some of the general tropes the fandom seems to enjoy--and you put your own twists on them, which, frankly, is fucking brilliant. that's what drew me to them, the fact that they were so similar, but so different .

I'm 11 chapters in through how to win, and even that's so different from the usual "fake dating", "murder mystery" tropes. I read paradox after a long time, and blazed through it in two days, because, again, the plot was so unique and intriguing.

the fanfiction community in general don't like anything that diverts from the canon world. they don't like OCs, AUs, or anything that makes the writer's work, the writer's. they want to read plots in the canon world, with canon characters, with canon-based plots, with the canon style of formatting, which sucks, and doesnt give much allowance for creativity.

but to the point (finally): I really hope that the reason you're not writing fanfiction anymore is because of the god-awful people who don't like anything that's outside the box canon gives us. because, please, I'm sure there are people like me who love your unique plots, your crazy (in a good way) style of writing. I cannot wait to buy your original work, but unfortunately I have a lot on my plate right now and can't buy your books this month.

I love you and your work! I hope you're getting more sleep right now (who am I kidding, new moms don't sleep. at all.) and settled in with your baby pretty quickly!

Nobility was really the fic that taught me the difference between fanfic vs. book reader expectations. because fanfic is such a living, breathing medium, fan works are much more reliant on recognizable patterns, tropes, styles, and accepted fanon trends—all things that can feel like constraints, but that make perfect sense when you (I) actually considered who the audience is and what they want. it really changed my attitude on creation. because yes, there are obviously readers who enjoy originality and experimentation, which is what I wanted to do as a writer, but the majority of people reading fanfic want a story atmosphere that feels safe. admittedly, when I wrote that a/n I did feel that sometimes “safe” meant “unchallenging,” but in the end it’s really not my place to judge that. people seek community and comfort in fanfic and after I was able to step outside my needs as a creator, I do understand why. ultimately I had to face the fact that I was creating for either the wrong medium or the wrong audience, and knowing that, I did have to make some decisions about what I chose to work on and more importantly, for which readers

none of this is why I'm not currently writing fic; that has more to do with my feelings on jkr. but thank you for being the audience who wants what my work offers! I am so grateful to you, and to everyone who reads my fics. the experience of writing fic is both a joy and a crucial set of lessons (I could never have learned to write for pleasing an audience without the audience I had, even when they were displeased) and it really means everything to me that you would spend your time on the stories I chose to tell

#nobility #unpopular opinions

[non-binharry]

You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want, but you seem to be one of the few blogs willing to discuss. After watching all the drama around top/bottom discourse in fic go down esp the last year and a half, I’ve notice the fic part of the fandom become more polarized. Interesting observation is that many of the big fic fests this year have trended more blouis than in years previous. The whole discourse weirds me out, but I do think it’s interesting that fic overall has leaned more heavily blouis than in the past, and places like bhk have virtually disappeared. Idk where I’m going with this but I’m curious if you’ve noticed it too and what you think is happening?

honestly i don't pay much attention to the fanfiction part of this fandom so i really don't notice much about what goes on. i really haven't paid any mind to it but off the top of my head i would say despite and regardless of how much blouies like to act like they're the underdogs of this fandom, they have the numbers that suggest otherwise and they've had those numbers for years. i honestly don't know if maybe the shift in the direction of louis' solo fandom could have something to do with it, since they're clearly very comfy rubbing elbows with each other. there were a number of authors who wrote primarily bottom harry (with verse/verse mentions!) who left when this fandom believed the asinine accusation that those people only supported the idea of harry being trans as a part of a bottom agenda, and i don't know if people are reluctant now to post anything because they don't want to get stuck with the same label. content creation in general has dwindled a lot because of the lack of support while blouies have built their whole little group off of supporting each other because that's all they have lmao. there's honestly a number of possibilities that may contribute to this and i don't really have a clear answer for you, but if anyone wanted to give their own perspective, feel free 🤗

#i personally have a number of wips that are bottom harry but i feel like i have to balance those out #because regardless of how often i say verse rights! verse rights! verse rights! people still choose to say and believe whatever they want #about what i believe and support #so idk if others are in the same boat or what goes on #anonymous #mensaje mensaje

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.4

I wanna be an intern too, you ragedy ann looking ass hoe 😠



Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

All goes well when you are ignorant is what my dear best friend would say to me now, as I sit in the very back of the class unfocused on how our teacher is introducing an activity I have no chance of participating in. All I knew was that when Mr. Aizawa walked up to the board and wrote names of people getting offers, I wasn't one of them. Not that I expected to be, considering I wasn't in the sports festival, let alone the school at all back then. 

However, I did notice a small inconsistency in the order of the most offers. I was pretty sure that boom boom had gotten first place in the festival, him being there is what convinced me to transfer, but his name was actually second on the board. 

Todoroki had taken the place of first as far as offers were concerned. Todoroki the nice boy who I used to meet when I snuck away from my fucking prison cell. Call me privileged for complaining about living in a mansion All my life, but I much prefer being here. With common folk. They ground me. 

I peeked up from my phone at the red and white head of hair in front of me, he didn't seem all that fazed. Although maybe it was just the lack of seeing his face that made me believe he couldn't care less about all but one of those offers. Still, his business is his, and my business is the new Ao3 update on my favorite chrollo lucilfer fanfiction. What a babe. 

I decided that the class as of right now would be of no importance to me, considering I will have no offers, and bakugou-the reason I came here- hates me like I'm a piece of gum stuck under his shoe.  Through that conclusion I allowed myself to dissolve into the world of hxh and forget about how boring this world is. 

Could my power beat Killua or go in a fight? I mean, it doesn't enhance my strength like they did trying to get into Killua's house so physically they must be stronger. 

"Y/n! Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

Mr.Aizawas voice seemed almost shot at me as my gaze rose from my phone in my lap to meet him at the front of the room. He looked displeased to say the least. Well good for him, im displeased too, I might not be able to beat a fucking twelve year old in combat. 

"Huh?"

"You were grumbling, what's so important you had to tell us, hm?"

I thought it through for a second- just kidding, I never think anything through. 

"Oh, well I wasn't sure if I could beat Gon in a fight, but I'm not coming to the realization that if Chrollo is my boyfriend, I shouldn't have to fight anyone at all. I can just be a pretty face in the backgrounds and then after he wins for me i'll suck his-"

"Enough, y/n." Mr.Aizawa no longer held a tired looking face, his eyes were wide and an uncomfortable cringed was set on his face. As I peered at the rest of the class many also had shocked eyes, but unlike our teacher, held faint blushes. 

Minus midoriya, his face was completely red and his eyes void of life. I must've killed him, huh. 

"Wait!"

In an attempt to regain some dignity, I tried to correct myself.

"I would....not suck his-?"

"Don't even say it, shitty princess !"

"Woah bakugou, you spoke to me on purpose!?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, how come you call me princess, you like me or something?"

He growled at that, neither of us paying mind to the fact that everyone in the class was either dead from nosebleeds or extremely uncomfortable and staring at us.  

"Its cuz you act fucking entitled like a princess"

"I'll be your pillow princes-"

"Enough!" A robotic-like hand sliced the air in front of me. The voice sounded firm, almost more teacher-like than our teacher's voice. I followed my gaze up the hand, not failing to notice how as I drew up the guy's arm his muscles only seemed to get bigger and bigger and- iida? 

"Oh class rep-"

"Y/n this vulgar language and border-line harassment needs to cease immediately. I will not tolerante overtly sexual language and acts in this class-"

As he was speaking I noticed something ironic about the situation. If everyone here didn't like sexual jokes or banter, how were they so flustered at comments that objectively should be unknown to them. 

"How did you know what I meant, iida?" I rasped in a low sultry voice, allowing my fingers to dance up his arm starting at the wrist in front of my face. 

I heard a few chuckles from, who I would say are the only two people enjoying this situation: kaminari and...stinky mineta. Iida's face grew more red than previously and the arms in front of me began shaking. 

"Mr.Aizawa it seems I've disarmed the robot. Is there a restart button or something?" I question with a serious face using the search as an excuse to wonder my eyes all over his body. Perverted? Yes. Rightfully attracted to this giant hunk of a nerd. Yes ×10. 

"No, there is not." Todoroki, who was in front of me, finally turned around to address me. I guess he was unfazed by my words. Looks like someone here can be cool. Whether he is okay because he is more comfortable with sexual jokes, or because he has yet to pick up on them, its nice that somebody in here can still function. Otherwise, I'd feel like a nuisance. 

"Y/n I'm not really sure how to- let's just say to have detention with your m- midnight. Detention. Yeah." Aizawa publicly convinced himself of my punishment? 

"Okay"

"Now, back to this, even if you didn't get any offers ALL of you will have an internship" 

And so went on the class, kids chose their hero names, not me though. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a hero at all, this was just a little less boring and sad than the way I lived before. This school had people who laughed in joy, not just to mask the pain. That was the real benefit, not being a hero, or being strong. Likely no one here realized that there were many places where none of this joy was possible. 

Some of the kids in class gave me suggestions for a hero name, but I didn't like them anyway. They lacked personality, and while I have many adjectives to describe my personality, my life, none of them are all that heroic. 

"Dark element"

"Girl who will die if her quirk doesnt like its environment" 

See, I'm not the best at this. Even bakugan names had some sense to it...well no. I'd say we're about the same, but still. Ugh. 

~timeskip~ 

Bakugou pov 😠

She came up with no hero names. Fucking entitled brat. Everyone at this lunch table seems to have no problem with the fact that she is here, just happy to have another pair of tits to stare at like perverts. Their gross. I bet she doesn't even want to be a hero, she sure as hell doesn't act like it. We don't even know what her whole quirk is. Ive seen her do that plant shit a couple times, fucking with flowers or whatever. Still, there's more to it. Something we don't know, at least. Cuz in the middle of class she gets up and whispers to Aizawa and he just lets her go. Where the fuck does she go? 

Interrupts class, got into the school because her moms a teacher, won't use her quirk. What a nuisance, I can't believe she is not expelled yet. Plus those bullshit sex jokes are so shitty. She is obviously faking something when she does them. Not like midnight, who always at least seems like she means that gross shit. 

"Hey, who did you guys choose for your internship? I haven't chosen yet."

"The number three hero guy," I spoke, knowing I'm the only person here who already chose. 

"Really? Best jeanist! That's so cool, but are you sure that for you bakugou?" Shitty hair raised a shitty brow at me. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Just that he seems pretty...uptight..for you?" Dunceface added, but he spoke like it was a question. Of course he is the hero for me, he is the highest ranting hero on my list. If I wanna be number one, I gotta train with the best. 

If I go to his agency I'm sure there will be a lot more action, since he is so high ranking. Then i'll get some real experience kicking villain ass, well, other than the USJ. 

"Of course he is the right option!"

"Woahhh~"

Shit. It's her voice. I honestly should applaud her for using it less often around me but, how can one small girl be so goddamn annoying. I don't even know what she has to say and I already wish she would just put a sock in it. How can someone so entitled like her, probably never had to lift a finger, walk  over here and talk like she has something to say. 

"You're working with the best jeanist! So cool, one time he saved me from a group of rapist guys, it was awesome with all these strings everywhere and I could only see half of his face. Oh and he had goofy hair too!"

Oh. I didn't really know how to respond to the girl who looked so excited about almost being violated. Another thing wrong with her? I looked back at the other people at the table to see if they knew how to respond to something like that. 

Dunceface was frozen, tape arms were frozen, shitty hair was frozen, and alíen eyes were looking like a lost puppy and trying not to cry. 

It didnt seem like the shutty princess was exactly understanding how what she just yelled was making things weird. She just stood there expectantly. She kinda looked like she thought being raped was something that must happen to everyone. Did she think that? Wouldn't put it past her weird ass. 

"Uhm...anyways, i'm sure you'll do awesome, he likes to put boys in tight jeans. Wish I could intern too, I'd love to see that boom boom~" she winked. 

A perverted joke...and then she had the audacity to wink at me. 

"You wish you could see me in tight jeans, shitty extra!"

"I know...thats what a I just said." She dead panned, blinking a couple times at me. 

"Tch, screw you!"

"I would-" 

"Can it, i don't wanna hear your shitty voice anymore"

The girl stopped herself after my words, pushing all her hair behind her head, except for the two blond stands in the front. 

(You don't have to acknowledge these if you don't want, but I made it so that they change color depending on what element your using and I thought it was hot*if you have short hair, then you just got a lil nishinoya type thing 🥰)

Lifted her obnoxious hands that moved around while she talked and made a zipper-like motion over her lips. Then she just stood there looking at me. I really wanted to just let her stand there and go back to eating. Ignore her completely and let her hope fizzle out and die or something like that. 

Yet here I am, still looking at her. Silently. Wishing she made a stupid joke so that I could stop flickering between those images I'd seen of her dancing. How even though ballet is a princess fucking dance, the pictures felt nice. Like if I was watching it live I would probably be unable to criticize it. That pissed me off, because I want to hate everything about her, but I can't hate those photos. Where she looks like she is flying, without any need for a quirk.

I see her in that weird gown, and now, in the UA uniform. I see her looking respectable, formal, and serious. Then I see her stupid little smirk as she takes pride in being able to shut up for more than a minute. 

"Why are you still standing there?"

Instead of answering, she took her hand up again, made a pinch with her fingers and unzipped her mouth. 

"I was enjoying the look in your eyes."she smiled. 

The look in my eyes? Could she tell I was seeing two different people? What the hell does that even mean? Even said it without that shitty flirt voice. Like she meant it. 

"You tryna make fun of me?"I stood up from the table to get in her face.

"Not right now, maybe later, I gotta do something." She smiled sincerely at me, for a second as she walked away, I forgot about how this conversation started. What a wierd fucking girl. I'll never respect her as a hero. Tch. (Yes, its canon he tchs even in his thoughts) 

3rd person POV 

Y/n briskly walked out of the cafeteria with a new goal in mind. She would come to remember how maybe being oblivious was a benefit in some ways, but for now, she had a clear plan .

"Mr.Aizawa, let me do an internship."

"You weren't in the festival, I can't just hand you to a hero who has no idea what you can do, y/n."

"Well, you know what I can do, right?"

"No. I'm not doing internships. Stop asking."

"That's not what I meant! You can just tell them, or I could, it's not that hard to explain. Just say i'm all- powerful or some play on words like 'she's got all the right elements' hehe, see how i mimicked your voice there?" Y/n grinned like a child. She was proud of herself. 

"No. Still not happening."

"I wanna be an intern too, you raggedy ann looking ass hoe" 

"Y/n, it doesn't make sense, insulting me to get what you want?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I bet you feel real insecure about your hair right now."

"You already have detention, what more do you want!"

"An internship, I wanna do one with kamui Woods, I have a good reason, too. As far as my quirk control, i'm the weakest with earth, the aspect that allows me to grow and manipulate plants and stuff. That's why I've only been using that part of it all month. Im trying to get her up to speed so I can start using all four at once. He is like a tres guy, right? He manipulates earth all day long. He could teach me a lot, and that aspect of my quirk would suit his well. Please!?!?!?"

If the girl had just asked again in a normal way, his answer would have been the same. However Aizawa was taken aback to hear how much thought she put into this. From the stories of the teachers lounge, he came to understand her big life goal, was to rely fully on a rich man or woman, and do nothing at all forever. Just to try and forget about the terrible life she was destined to have because of that quirk.

This side of her was something he could not even her mother had seen, and it prompted him to speak those words she wanted to hear so badly.

"Fine." 

#bakugou x you #bakugou x reader #bakusquad #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #mha fanfiction #mha fluff

[mishkakagehishka]

ayy it's march... i was planning on doing this in january but UH. Anyway, around the end of 2020 I decided to keep track of my daily word count throughout 2021, and, basically, I'm just gonna talk ab how that went. Nothing too important under the cut, just me analysing my own writing habits with some anecdotes and shit I remember ab certain days + what I worked on (what i remember anyway)

I'm not making a chart or anything since I'm really just making this post right now to procrastinate. Anyway. Total word count by month is:

January - 2.186

February - 505

March - 419

April - 121

May - 0 (lol)

June - 2.100

July - 1.121

August - 1.792

September - 0 (lol 2)

October - 19.537

November - 2.381

December - 1.503

In the whole year of 2021, I wrote 31.665 words (if my calculator hasn't failed me), which is;;;; it falls short of the 50k count I'm gonna try to get in a single month this year, to say the least. The average for the whole 12 months is (rounded) 2.639 words per month, but if we're only counting the months I actually wrote in (lol 3), it'd be 3.167 words per month. Not bad, I live by 1 word written is better than zero, but... well, I'm a bit disappointed in myself^^

Going month by month, I didn't start off too strong, writing under 500 words and only on 6 days of January (hitting a max with 510 words... oof). I wrote once in February and April, and twice in March and August. Most other months, I seemed to have been writing about 5 days, on average, though I guess they're spaced out enough that I didn't even notice I wasn't writing that often.

Now as for the outliers, first... May and September. LMFAOOOOO okay yeah, this makes sense, though. School was almost ending in May, I had a "I only have a month to fix my grades or I'll fail the year" and four subjects that needed desperate fixing. People who followed me on my old blog might remember my, uh... weird posts at the time. Not the best time of my life! September, on the other hand, was the start of the school year, so also pretty busy. Not as busy mental-wise, but, you know, it makes sense that I didn't pick up any writing during it. The positive outlier was October, though! This was when I was doing Horrortober (I haven't given up on that btw time is an illusion, I can write Horrortober when it's not October, too). Almost 20k words! That was a pretty good time for my ego tbh. There are only 5 days in October when I didn't write, and the average word count of the month was 630 words per day, which is better than my yearly average (87 per day). The lowest count was 137 (sandwiched between two days when I didn't write, so I assume I hit a block at that time), and the best one was 2.713 - I was the most productive in the third week, but dropped the ball in the fourth one it seems.

Now as for what I wrote, I'll have to go off memory since I didn't journal what I wrote, just how much (note to self to do that this time), buuuut- the first three months at least were when I was focused on the Oblivion fixit, which I haven't abandoned either. And, as I said, October was Horrortober month. Asides from that, I only remember that, despite hitting a zero for May, on the very first of June I hit 1.417. Why? Because I wanted to take the chance to get my writing in the school paper, but didn't have anything appropriate so I had to whip something up before the deadline (lol 4). And that's about it? I think most of my writing of 2021 was focused on fanfiction, but I know some of the days are marked with Krasimirovian Conspiracy, because I know I worked on it. Not as extensively, I'm still in the planning period, but I did write a few "pre-plot" shorts. To be honest, I think I started ignoring the Oblivion fic after May, because I do know I regularly hit blocks while working on it, so it'd explain the tiny word counts of the first half of the year, but I can't exactly cross-reference with my posts of the time, considering, so I'm just speculating.

Now, I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't planning on doing a repeat, but, looking at it now... I kinda wanna? I wanna know if I'll have improved, but;;;; It's already March. Maybe I'll start counting my word counts in April, and just shave off the first three months when I'm analysing it next year this time. In any case, I feel like my main enemy in 2021 was that I just wasn't motivated with what I was writing (considering October was a vast improvement), hit too many blocks (looking at the first half, assuming it was Oblivion and knowing I hit too many blocks with it), and schoolwork, which isn't surprising, but a bit demotivating since it's not like I'll have more free time when I start college (quite the opposite, no?), but hey. Sve se može kad se hoće, and other folk wisdom. I'll figure it out. God knows I feel like I'll go insane if I take too lengthy breaks from writing, so I'll need to figure it out (lol 5)... I feel like October is at fault for me developing that since I don't remember feeling it as hard before.

And that's more or less it? See you next year, i guess lmaooo

#if i'm gonna journal /what/ i write this year alongside counts tho i already have a journal i can use #it's got like. a page for each day where you can add little notes. #rambling