#I have a lot of feelings for Joel/Aleksi what can I say

[mondscheinprinzessin]

hand/inner wrist kisses + forehead/top of their head kisses? 🥰 for joeleksi or olli/joel

You can't give me the option of Joeleksi and then expect me not to write for them.

With Aleksi a lot of things have changed.

Not just their music and the dynamic within the band but also Joel’s feelings. In fact, they have changed so much that it almost felt like getting overrun by a herd or bison. Or that’s what Joel had imagined when he laid in bed, panting and mind whirling with thoughts of which most consisted of the same realization that he was totally stupid.

And totally, absolutely, completely in love with Aleksi.

It just needed him four years to realize and that’s where his stupidity came into play.

Exactly the same Joonas had said when Joel burst into his flat the next morning to yell his newfound feelings at him and demanding advice. Joonas, trying to appear as the wise old man, had slapped a hand on his shoulder, guided him to the table for a cup of coffee and simply said he should talk to Aleksi before his mind could twist all those happy, sweet, rose-red feelings into something fearful and ugly.

That was easy to say of Joonas who knew no restraint when it came to handing out his endless love, be it for his friends or partners. But Joel? Joel couldn’t find the words.

And they never came no matter how much and how often he racked his brain over a possible love deceleration.

Instead, he amped up on what he already shared with Aleksi. Hugs, naps, jokes, general space and time.

When Aleksi was in the studio, Joel was there. Always. He couldn’t get enough of his favourite DJ and no day had enough hours he could share with him.

But it was not to say that Joel did nothing to show his admiration in some way even if it wasn’t as obvious as a muttered ‘I love you’.

The first time was more of a slip up though and Joel had scrambled out of the kitchen after it happened to hide his pink cheeks and bite his lip to hold in the groan that wanted to escape him over his once again surfaced stupidity.

Aleksi had called for a break and wanted to make coffee and as the nice friend he was Joel jumped up to help (not also because the kitchen was tiny and there was no coming around to bump hips or accidentally touch someone’s arm or hand).

To not interfere too much Joel leaned against a counter, just watching Aleksi prepare the coffee machine and exchanging some words that were for once not related to their newest album.

For example Aleksi talking about his family visiting spontaneously as he didn’t manage to plan a visit of his own in his hometown and how happy Rilla had been, and Aleksi always had this cute smile on his face when he talked about here, and it never failed to put a smile on Joel as well.

Grinning as he was while he listened to Aleksi’s story, he was short of sighing because he was so lovesick, he could have stood there for ages just taking in Aleksi’s stories and just be happy to have him around and that could have been around the time Joel lost his last braincell to the desires of his heart.

When Aleksi came up close to open a cupboard next to Joel’s head for cups and had to go up on his toes to reach the ones far back, Joel blanked from the vicinity of Aleksi’s lips, still moving as he kept on talking.

Right now though Joel couldn’t care for what he said because he was pretty sure he started vibrating on the spot because he had to do something, even if it was running around in a circle, screaming on top of his lungs that he loved Aleksi, but that was for several reasons not an appropriate option, so the next best alternative had been kissing Aleksi on the forehead who stopped in his movements and looked up at him with big eyes.

Those blue eyes almost managed to fry the last of what was left from Joel’s brain, but he somehow got his legs to work and walked back into the studio room, repeating the scene over and over in his head till he was convinced he had dreamt it. As Aleksi neither said anything nor showed a sign that Joel had just kissed his bandmate, he dropped it out of his head as well.

(Who was he kidding, he was still thinking of it two weeks later).

The urge to repeat it also never ceased to haunt him and now he was catching himself staring at Aleksi more often which got him obvious looks from Joonas and Niko as well who had caught on pretty quickly of what was happening.

The happier Joel was when he and Aleksi were alone in the studio, late when everyone else had left and no suggesting looks and wiggling eyebrows could annoy him.

It was easier for him to work too when he didn’t have to try to hide his apparent feelings in front of bandmates because around Aleksi it seemed to not have any influence as he never called him out for his behaviour but rather seemed to enjoy it.

Joel didn’t take it for any affirmation or a return of his feelings though. Aleksi had always been a nice person and gentle in his gestures if he decided to give them and Joel would take each and everyone for as long as he could. An announcement of his love would definitely change the balance and changes Joel had enough of.

Things like this Joel tried to avoid thinking about at work, keeping them for later when he laid in bed. Although currently his eyes were so close to slipping shut that he wished to be in bed, but the production of songs was an important process that he couldn’t put off.

Aleksi behind him on the couch, for once they had switched their positions, was silently working on another project. Therefore, Joel startled slightly when he felt him against his back as Aleksi bend over his shoulder to look at the screen.

Joel had been doing a mindless repetition of a task which must have been the reason for his tiredness, and for his head falling into his hand, almost touching the table, resulting in a weird posture where he was sitting in the chair.

“I didn’t show you this button for no reason Joel. It will take you years if you continue to do it manually. Here, let me- ”

Aleksi’s fingers nudged against his on the mouse and Joel took his hand away for Aleksi to repeat his demonstration of what he was supposed to do but hadn’t been doing correctly.

He feared he wouldn’t remember what Aleksi was talking about this time either because with a little shift of his eyes he saw Aleksi’s wrist right in front of him.

Whereas his forearm was now decorated with a big flower tattoo, his wrist was bare, only traversed by blue veins perceptible under the surface even in the low light of the studio.

For reasons Joel was well aware of, the sight was more interesting than Aleksi’s teaching words. But for reasons Joel couldn’t explain he tipped his head forwards and gently touched Aleksi’s wrist with his lips, just a short kiss before he sat back again.

In his dreamy state he almost didn’t notice what he had done and would probably only bemoan his idiocy when he was alone at home, but Aleksi’s voice had died off and the sudden switch to silence had Joel realize his display of affection.

Not daring to move just the same as Aleksi had frozen above him, Joel hoped that Aleksi would just go back to his seat on the couch. Holding his breath Joel listened for any sign that Aleksi was mad at him, preparing to defend himself if necessary but nothing of sorts came.

To his surprise Aleksi didn’t go away but chose to come as close as possible, his hand leaving the mouse to travel over Joel’s arm right next to it until both of Aleksi’s arms were around him and Aleksi’s face rested on Joel’s shoulder.

If the touch alone didn’t make him shiver, then it was Aleksi’s voice so close to his ear that he could feel his breath on the side of his face.

“Your little kisses were really nice, but don’t you want to do it right this time?” He said in a low tone and Joel couldn’t believe what he just heard.

Much the same he was stunned when Aleksi came around to sit down in his lap, looking at him with that insolent gleam in his eyes but the sweetness lying under it had Joel part his mouth.

Aleksi’s eyes dipped down to his lips but as Joel hasn’t said anything yet asked again, “What do you think? Will you kiss me?”

#answered #yeah this has gotten longer #I have a lot of feelings for Joel/Aleksi what can I say #what do you guys think Joel did? #prompt adventures

[ifidiedinadream]

babies of the band you say? well, good sex is nice right, and it only gets better the more you do it with the same person, so why wouldn't the two of them decide that hey, we might both be straight or so we think, but hooking up with someone always there on tour seems like a great way to relax right? do the others know? do they walk in on them and wonder when the hell these two turned gay and dating? do they think they're being secretive but really, constantly sneaking off together for a quick bj in some supply closet or behind a corner isn't all that subtle? does one of them high on concert endorphines bring up wanting to try anal sex/penetration and they both end up learning a lot about their bodies that night? i'll leave it up to you!

hellooooooo i wrote something funny please tell me it's funny

also on ao3

"Sorry for earlier," Aleksi blurts out. The curtains of their shared hotel room are closed and it's night. They should be sleeping, the day has been exhausting enough for them to doze off immediately and sleep like babies until tomorrow morning, but they're scrolling their phones in the dim light of their bedside tables instead. Olli just couldn't relax. 

"It's fine, you were irritable, I understand that." 

Olli does understand, but it still hurts a bit. Aleksi hardly ever loses his patience, and he never snapped at him before. Olli was expecting a reprimand from Joel or Niko if there had to be one, certainly not from Aleksi. 

He guesses getting lost in a Swiss train station when their train was supposed to depart fifteen minutes later was too much bullshit even for calm, seraphic Aleksi. 

(Especially when their flight had been canceled, they had to wait for hours at the airport with no certainty they would be able to leave at all, and when they finally managed to land in Switzerland, Aleksi found most of his gear broken and part of it missing. All in the same day.)

"I deserved that," Olli adds later. 

"No, you didn't. I was an asshole." 

Olli will never forget his clenched teeth and hard eyes, the way he spat out "Are you for real? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" when they finally reunited. Olli had been panicking himself, because what the hell was he supposed to do in a foreign country that wasn't part of the EU therefore provided no internet connection nor signal to lost Finnish boys like him, but he didn't tell the others. He was relieved upon finding them, very much so, but Aleksi's hostility made him feel like shit not even a second later. They didn't exchange a word all day until now and it felt so wrong. 

It never happened before. Olli would say Aleksi and he are good friends, Aleksi is probably his favorite guy in the band and they get along very well most of the time. He's his best buddy, even. 

He's glad they seem to be normal again. 

"This tour has been stressful," Aleksi says, putting his phone on the nightstand to charge and rolling on his side, giving his back to Olli. They're sharing a double bed. "It really is no excuse for how I behaved but... I really need some release." 

"You could've gone out with the others," Olli remarks, but he knows Aleksi doesn't unwind like that. Aleksi's back expands and shrinks back down, like he just took a deep breath. 

"Clubbing won't do. I need something..." he trails off. He rolls in the bed again, turning to Olli. "Something more physical." 

Olli snorts and puts his phone away. "You can lock yourself in the bathroom, dude. I'm not gonna judge, nor interrupt." 

Aleksi grunts. "I become grumpy and obnoxious when I don't have sex for a while." 

"I think any person with balls can relate." 

Aleksi stares at the ceiling, seeming to consider it. "Maybe I should've gone to the club after all. I could've found a girl to hook up with." 

Olli can't help but imagine the scene. He thinks of Aleksi getting on top of a woman and pounding his hips into her. His stomach flips because apparently he's a perv like that. A sigh from Aleksi's lips pulls him out of his daydreams. 

"How I wish I had someone I could hook up with. I don't mean a one night stand." 

"'Cause sex is nice, but it gets even better when it's always with the same person, right?" 

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I do hook up with strangers when I'm at home sometimes," Aleksi confesses, "because I need the sex, and my hand isn't always enough, but at home I don't need it as much as I do when I'm on tour. It's stressful on tour. But at the same time, is finding a different girl every other night worth the hassle? When at the end of the day she doesn't know me, I don't know her, I come because of course I do but maybe she doesn't because I don't know where to touch her, I don't know her body, she doesn't know mine, it doesn't feel as good as it could, you know. When you know a person, it's one hundred times better." 

"Yeah," Olli agrees, "it would be nice to have someone to hook up with. Always the same person." 

"Yeah." 

"Yeah." 

"Too bad there's no one." 

"Yeah. Too bad." 

Olli reaches his arm out to turn off his bedside lamp, assuming the conversation is over. When he makes to lie down again, he finds Aleksi hovering over him, blue eyes huge and bright even in the dark. Olli gasps. 

"You didn't get what I was trying to say, did you?" 

"I - what were you trying to say?" 

"We could hook up. You and I." 

Olli's hand, still on the light switch, turns on the lamp again. Aleksi is looking down at him with expectant eyes and Olli doesn't miss the vague desperation dwelling in them as well. 

"But dude," he says, "I'm not a girl. You're not a girl." 

"I'm aware." Aleksi pushes the blanket off of him, sitting up. He takes his t-shirt off. "Who gives a shit. It doesn't have to mean we're gay." 

"So if I, a man, hook up with you, also a man," Olli looks at his hands, counting on his fingers, "it won't... it won't make us gay?" 

"Nah," Aleksi says, "it's only gay if we catch feelings for each other. Which can't happen, 'cause we're not gay." 

Olli must admit Aleksi's argument doesn't convince him in the slightest, he's pretty sure it's not how it works, but Aleksi's hairy chest is right there in front him, there's a bulge in his pajama pants, and suddenly he doesn't give a shit about labels anymore. 

"Alright," Olli says. "Let's hook up, then." 

*** 

Despite them not being gay in the slightest, it becomes a habit quite easily, naturally even. Olli and Aleksi hook up backstage before the shows, in the showers after the shows, in the bus when the others are exploring the cities, in the hotel rooms the others always let them share for some reason (Olli is sure no one suspects anything, they're being very subtle and sneaky about it, they're good at that. They've always been attached at the hip anyway, so why would anyone notice a difference now?). 

One night they're both in Olli's bunk in the bus, Olli's cock is in Aleksi's mouth, his hands in his hair. And Olli's being silent. The others are asleep. Aleksi's slurping sounds are quiet, and so are the heavy breaths he takes when he resurfaces for air. 

It gets a bit harder to not make a sound when Aleksi swirls his tongue around the rim of the head of Olli's cock, focusing on a particular spot on the underside, one that drives him crazy, so he puts his own fist in his mouth. Aleksi looks up at him with mischievous eyes, cheeks hollowed out, and when he pulls away he's smiling smugly. 

"Stop teasing or I'll tell everyone you're into sucking dick."

"Shut up or I'll tell everyone you're the one whose dick I usually suck." 

Aleksi wraps his lips around him then, relaxing his throat so that he can take all of him in. Olli sends his head back and it hits the wall behind him. It hurts but he's pretty sure it didn't wake anyone up. 

*** 

Another time would be when after a show that went particularly well, in the heat of the moment, Aleksi grabs Olli by his shirt and pulls him into the nearest secluded space, which happens to be nothing more than a small storage closet. The others arrive when the closet door is closed, missing them by mere instants. The door isn't even closed, to be fair, it doesn't lock and the way Aleksi is thrusting his cock in between Olli's thighs makes it move and open slightly. No one is watching, no one is listening, Olli tells himself. It feels so good, Aleksi's dick soft to the touch yet so hard, his breath on his neck from behind, his hand wrapped around Olli's own cock - he doesn't want to stop and worry. 

And why should he worry, anyway. It's not like they're being loud. It's not like Joonas and Joel aren't yelling and filling up cups with booze. It's fine. 

What probably isn't fine is how much Olli is getting into this. Their habit soon turned into some sort of tradition, where Olli is having sex more than ever before in his life, even multiple times a day, and he's never felt better. Aleksi said it's not gay until they catch feelings, and sure, there are no feelings to be caught, they're best bros, but the idea that all this will stop once the tour is over makes Olli sick to his stomach. 

But Olli doesn't have to think about it now. Tour is far from over. Aleksi's amazing dick is between his thighs where his pants and underwear were pushed off just enough to allow Aleksi this movement, and the urgency feels nice, too nice, desperate Aleksi must be Olli's favorite brand of Aleksi. 

He's going fast and muffling his moaning by pressing his mouth on the top of Olli's shoulder. Olli comes all over Aleksi's fist, biting his lip hard, and Aleksi follows soon after, tightening the grip on Olli's hip. They stay in the closet until they're sure the others are too drunk to notice. They giggle and tell each other to stay quiet, making more noise in the process, and maybe they kiss, even make out (just to pass the time, obviously, no other reason), the urgency from before nowhere to be found. Olli doesn't find it in himself to care. It feels good; Aleksi's mouth is so warm and gentle and his hands on Olli's face are delicate and his eyes always turn so soft after sex, when he's finally satisfied. That specific gaze sort of brings butterflies to Olli's stomach, and today, when they part, it's not any different. It's only a moment, though; soon mischief is animating Aleksi's eyes again and he reaches out to grab Olli's balls, just a bit too tightly for it to feel nice. Olli says "ouch" and Aleksi giggles again, kicking the door open and storming out of it. 

"What was that for?" Olli asks, fixing his pants before following him. 

"For pinching my ass during the show." 

They don't look suspicious, Olli thinks. The others wouldn't be able to notice anything with how much they've been drinking. 

*** 

Tour goes on and the habit-turned-tradition turns into obsession, at least on Olli's side. It's science, Olli tells himself. The more endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin his body produces, the more it wants them. It's chemistry, really. He doesn't like Aleksi and he isn't gay, he's just getting his body addicted to the feeling. 

Which isn't a problem, he'll get over it after a week or so of detox when the tour ends. 

(Something Olli doesn't really want to think about, the tour ending.) 

Now he's lying in the bed of his hotel room just like that first time, and something is bothering him, but this once it has nothing to do with Aleksi being mad at him. 

"Can I ask you something?" Olli inquires, the kisses Aleksi is leaving on his neck doing little to clear his mind. Aleksi hums. "Do you think it's gay if we have, like, anal sex?" 

Aleksi stops kissing his skin, pulling away slightly to look at him. His gaze is heavy lidded. He looks into Olli's eyes, then at his lips, and that's when he says, "Nah. Why should it be?" 

"Because it would be. Two men having sex." 

Aleksi has started kissing Olli's neck again, this time it's slower though, wetter. "It's two men having sex when you're sucking my dick behind a gas station, when I'm giving you a handjob in the lounge area of the bus when the others are watching hockey on TV." Aleksi's lips move downward, caressing Olli's collarbone, and then he's biting there, making Olli yelp. "It's two men having sex when we grind against each other first thing in the morning, still in bed, when Tommi knocks on our door and tells us to get ready for breakfast." Aleksi's hand fondles Olli's cock through his pants. "All of this is two men having sex. And it feels good, doesn't it? It feels right." 

"Yes," Olli breathes out, because what else can he say when Aleksi is stroking his dick like that. 

"Remember this: we're good as long as we don't catch feelings for each other." 

"Right." 

Right.  

"We can try anal sex if you want," Aleksi says. "We have condoms and lube. Did you want to be on top or -" 

"I actually wanted to try bottoming," Olli says, cutting himself off before he can add because I want to have you inside me on a whole new level as he suspects it could sound, indeed, a bit gay. 

This isn't catching feelings. 

"Alright." Aleksi flashes him a reassuring smile. "I'll be gentle." 

"How do I - have you done this before?" Olli asks. 

"A couple of times, yeah. With women, of course." 

"Of course." 

"Lie down." 

Olli does. Aleksi takes his pajamas off slowly and then undresses himself. He grabs Olli's knees and parts his legs gently, lowering his face and kissing his inner thigh once. He tells Olli to raise his legs and keep them folded. 

"Like this?" Olli asks, feeling a little exposed but Aleksi is eyeing him tenderly. 

"Yes, perfect," Aleksi says. "I'm gonna touch you a bit... getting you used to the sensation. Okay?" 

Olli nods. Aleksi's fingers end up in between his cheeks, brushing lightly, then up his perineum, making Olli shiver. Aleksi pours lube on his hole directly from the bottle and it's cold, but Aleksi assures him the lube has to be copious. 

"Tell me if you need more, alright?" Aleksi says, and Olli nods once again. 

Aleksi's fingers are gentle. He describes what he's doing to Olli, making sure he's okay. When a finger is inside it isn't necessarily comfortable, but Aleksi's patient and soft gaze makes Olli relax easily and his body gives in. Aleksi prepares him for a while longer, and when Olli says he's ready, Aleksi withdraws his hand and ends up on top of him, kissing him slowly before smearing his cock in lube. 

Their bodies are flush and it's so slick where Aleksi's cock and his ass touch. Olli wraps his arms and legs around Aleksi because he loves the feeling of having Aleksi everywhere, of his scent permeating the air all around him; he loves how sweet Aleksi is tonight, his considerate questions and kind eyes. 

He won't tell him that, of course, because that would be gay, and we all agree that neither of them is gay, so Olli just hugs Aleksi silently as the latter gently penetrates him, not before asking if it's okay a million times, not before reminding Olli he can tap out if he needs to, he can add more lube, he can stretch him more, he'll do whatever Olli needs him to. 

They have slow sex. It's uncomfortable before it feels even remotely pleasurable, but Aleksi's tender care makes it all worth it. He moves so slowly Olli can feel every centimeter of him inside himself, and the way Aleksi is looking at his face, attentive and careful, makes Olli feel all fuzzy in the chest. However, it's when Aleksi tells him he feels so good that Olli lets out a moan, which seems to invigorate Aleksi, making him move a bit faster. Olli doesn't mind, he's totally relaxed now, and when Aleksi lifts his hips a bit and the angle changes, Olli feels a kind of pleasure he's never felt in his life before. 

"Found it?" Aleksi asks, amused. 

Olli moans louder, holding Aleksi closer to him. It's heaven. Heaven. His body has never felt better, his heart is warm and large and full, his head is above the clouds, and Olli comes untouched for the first time ever. 

"Good boy," Aleksi says, and when he finally comes as well, Olli wishes he wasn't wearing a condom so he could feel all the cum inside him, claiming his body like it's his right. 

But it's not because he's catching feelings. It's just that the sex is particularly good. 

They're best bros. Fuck buddies at best. 

*** 

The habit-turned-tradition-turned-obsession somehow ends up turning into something else by the end of the tour. Olli doesn't exactly know what, but he knows it's bothering him. If he couldn't stay a day without having sex with Aleksi before, now he finds himself fighting for his attention, hating it when he spends time with someone else (like when he went shopping with Joel on their day off) and feeling like the king of the universe when Aleksi rests his head on his shoulder (like that day they were late to the venue because the bus was stuck in traffic). 

It's bothering him because deep down, despite him not being gay, despite Aleksi being his best bro, Olli knows he caught feelings somewhere along the way. He tells himself it isn't the case, that he doesn't like Aleksi like that, he only likes the attention, the sex, having someone to occupy his mind, but lying to himself can only get him so far, and it won't spare him all the hurt that will inevitably come. 

Because to Aleksi it's only sex, he made it clear right from the start. 

It gets even heavier on the last day of tour. They're getting back to Finland tomorrow and the fact that Aleksi will be in Helsinki and Olli in Oulu, how they won't have any excuse to sleep together anymore, how Aleksi will probably go on with his life like nothing ever happened tears up Olli's heart. 

It wasn't supposed to come to this. Fuck.  

That's why he agrees to go to Joel's acquaintance's party (a friend of a friend of a dude who works at a radio station), to try and drown his sorrows in alcohol before the hole in his chest gets too big and sucks too much of his life away. Aleksi will be there too, everyone will, but staying behind on the bus and crying his eyes out in his bunk bed is most likely the more pathetic option and Olli doesn't need that. 

At the party, Olli drinks and drinks and drinks. He's Mr. Recovery Man so he'll be just fine for the flight tomorrow. There are a lot of beautiful women trying to start a conversation with "the Finnish bassist who looks like a model", as Olli overheard one of them say, but sex is the last thing on Olli's mind right now. All he wants is to hold Aleksi's hand for one last time before they have to part. 

Before he has to tell him he fucked everything up by catching feelings and evidently not being as straight as he thought he was. 

Olli drinks again. His mood gets better the more he drinks, his head and heart lighter, to the point, some time later, where he's actually having fun and dancing to the beat pumping through the speakers and talking to people; however, it's short lived. He keeps drinking until a line is crossed and his stomach starts to hurt. Olli finds a bathroom before it's too late, throws up his entire soul, and by the time he's done, he can barely stand. 

Joonas finds him in the bathroom, holding on to the sink. His friend washes his mouth and takes him to the couch in the living room, asking him if he wants to go back to the bus with him and call it a night. Olli refuses. 

(He doesn't want the night to end, because that would mean the tour has ended, and so has whatever he and Aleksi had.) 

Joonas leaves, not without mumbling something about someone being a lovesick idiot. Olli considers the beer bottle sitting on the coffee table before him, but decides against it. He fights sleep but allows his eyes to close, focusing on the music resonating in his chest. He tries to figure out the notes of the bass he's hearing. It's a pretty basic bass line. 

Someone sits down beside him. Olli opens his eyes and it's a blurry, blurry Aleksi, with wild hair and sweat all over his face. Olli's senses come back to him at once, suddenly alert. Aleksi doesn't look much more sober than he is. 

"Kiss," Aleksi says, moving closer, but Olli pushes him away. 

"In front of everyone?" 

"They know." 

"They don't." 

"Literally everyone in the band knows. Niko just called me a pining mess," Aleksi slurs. Olli furrows his brows because it reminds him of something. "I just want one last kiss before you tell me to fuck off forever." 

"You're drunk." 

"So are you." 

Aleksi tries to kiss him once again but Olli moves away. It hurts. It hurts like hell, but another kiss would only hurt more. "We can't do this. Aleksi, this was a mistake. We said we wouldn't catch feelings. But I have." 

Aleksi suddenly turns serious. He looks at Olli's face for a moment, like he's searching for something there. His face is still blurry but he's as gorgeous as always, even with the two little expression lines in between his eyebrows. His gaze drops as soon as he starts speaking. 

"So have I. I fell in love with you. Sorry I can't say it sober." 

"You - what?" 

Aleksi's face crumbles after an intense moment. He starts to laugh loudly and for a second Olli thinks this was all a cruel, heartless prank. 

"Dude, we're so fucking gay," Aleksi says. "Don't know about you but I told myself so many lies during the last few months. Ever since we started hooking up. But I wasn't fooling anyone. Dude, I like you so fucking much. Always have." 

Olli feels like he could cry; he hugs Aleksi tight instead, kissing him on the mouth when they part and not giving two shits about it. 

"We should... probably talk about this when we're both sober. In the morning," Olli suggests. 

"Can you - can you just say it out loud? Again? Just one last time... Or tomorrow I won't think it's real," Aleksi says, looking small somehow. It makes Olli smile fondly. 

"What, that I like you back?" 

"Yeah." 

Olli cups the side of Aleksi's face, looking deep into his eyes, so blurry yet so beautiful. 

"You're all I ever wanted."

#my writing #blind channel fanfiction #blind channel fanfic #rpf #blind channel rpf #aleksi kaunisvesi x olli matela

[theflyingfeeling]

I have to agree with the last Anon. Something is off with Niko and it worries me. I mean he is more introverted than the others, but gets extroverted when he needs too. I see a lot of myself in him. I love going out with friends and organizing stuff or represent my group, but after it I need sometime for myself to recharge my batteries. And I need time at home to unwind and process everything. I am just worried that everything is just to much for him. Maybe he puts on a brave face, does his job and represents the band but takes every break he can get to recharge his batteries. I mean the tour wasn't planed. The boys them self said that the summer was stress enough and they need a break. I hope this tour will be the last for this year!

(Sorry for the unorganized rant/vent. This had been bugging me for days and I needed this to get off my chest. Here, have a cookie as a thank you for listening to me 🍪)

Just gonna hide my answer behind a read-more, because it's just my irrelevant interpretation and I feel exposed all of a sudden 😂

As I said in the reply to that anon ask, I'm gonna have to just 🤷‍♀️ with this one because I haven't noticed much, apart from the lack of social media presence in Niko's part. He seemed alright the day before they left to the States when he was on live national TV with Joel tasting spicy bell peppers, but who's to say he hadn't just put on a brave face for that too? We just can't know

I do think the fact that The HU support gig came as a bit of a surprise (at least that's what I gathered from Aleksi's streams) is something to be taken into consideration here; I really hope they've kept to that principle of 'only doing something if every single guy in the band agrees to it' Joel talked about in that podcast just a while ago. Which I have no reason to doubt; I mean, it would be pretty awful if they left on tour when some of the guys would've rather stayed at home because x-y-z, but I don't think they'd do that to each other. Then again, someone might feel hesitant saying 'no' if all the others want to accept the offer, and pressurred by disappointing the others they'd say 'yes' even if they're not 100% into the idea 🤷‍♀️ Touring is part of their job, and I'm certain each and every one of them is committed to their goals of world domination, but at the same time I wouldn't blame them if some of them wanted to just chill for a little while, because supposedly they're gonna play lots of shows next year as well, and although they may have had less shows this year in comparison to 2022, the travelling they've done especially during the past summer must have been tiring, so I do sympathize if flying across the Atlantic to spend another four weeks far away from home seems a little less tempting this time around (and what a hassle that flight was too 💀)

I also hope there was no clash of opinions regarding whether or not this tour would advance their goals the way they'd hope or anything of that sort, but again, if that was the case, I want to believe they would've talked it through. These guys have known each other for ages (especially the original five), so I like to think they all can and will open their mouth and say something if something's not alright with them, or that the others would notice if someone's not acting themselves

Of course, on a personal level, they all might behave differently in such situations. I must say Niko's still a bit of a mystery to me regarding his personality, so I'm hesitant to say what kind of behaviour would be in-/off-character for him 🤔 However, I want to believe he makes sure he gets his time to recharge on and off tour, and the same goes for all of them really. Remember that time Niko did a morning TV interview alone when Joel had suffered from insomnia the night before? They're a band of brothers, so I'm sure they'll support each other and step in when needed so that no one has to "put on a brave face" and overwork themselves into exhaustion ❤️ (obviously no one could replace Niko during a show etc. but you know what I mean 😂)

#kitchen psychology with theflyingfeeling

[yetanothercatastrophe]

new reader insert dropped

cw: revoked consent at some point  enjoy :)

The time Aleksi chose to bring the question up seems random. You two are laying on the couch, just being on your phone, your feet on his legs, neither of you having said a word in the past 20 minutes. Both of you know how to appreciate quiet time together. While you love hearing about his work and his tour stories, sometimes all you need is his company and some utter silence and you know he is the same. That’s why you’re even more surprised when he clears his throat. “Darling, can I ask you something?” “Of course”, you reply and sit up a bit, realizing how uncomfortable the position you have been laying in has gotten. “What would you think about including one of the boys in our sex life?” You choke on your own spit. He sounded a bit awkward when asking his first question, you surely did not expect him to get straight to the point like that. Then again, you shouldn’t be too surprised, while the two of you had needed some time to find about each other’s needs and desires, neither of you had ever struggled with starting a conversation about things you wanted to try or change. However, this feels different. Wildly different. You’re not appalled at all, just not sure what to expect. “What do you mean exactly? And like…how come? I didn’t know you would be interested in doing things with other men. Or me doing things with other men.” That was the main reason you were so surprised by his question. Aleksi had always been the jealous type ever since you started dating, not because he doesn’t trust you. Past relationships had just brought out some insecurities in him and he was deeply scared of losing you. He sighs like he expected this question to come up. “Yeah that’s the thing. You know how I feel when other men even look at you. But I’ve had these fantasies lately, about you talking to other men, flirting with them and then I get to…reclaim you.” His voice becomes more and more quiet the longer he speaks, it’s more than obvious that he feels a bit of shame. There’s no need to and you know that he knows that but it is a rather heavy conversation to have and you’re glad he trusts you enough to bring it up regardless. “Also I’ve had a conversation with Joel recently…” You’re tilting your head to the side, listening even more attentively now. “I mean, I don’t know how the topic even came up, we don’t really talk about these things often but I told him about this fantasy and he finds you kind of hot, I mean who doesn’t…” You have to giggle a bit, the compliment seems wildly out of place and more importantly, it lacks the confidence he usually has when calling you hot. Moreover you can’t help but notice how he hasn’t looked you in the eyes in a while. Still you think a few seconds before saying anything, you don’t want to invalidate his feelings or deny him his wish, especially when it’s something that turns you on as well, but you don’t want him to push himself past a line of his own. Apparently, you take a few seconds too long to think. “You probably think it’s stupid, we don’t have to-” You interrupt him before he gets to finish that thought. “No no baby, I don’t think it’s stupid at all. The thought of being close to you while it’s all about me being yours, belonging to you… I like that. I really do. It’s just- I know how insecure you have gotten about things in the past and those times it was nowhere near actual flirting. I don’t want you to do anything that hurts you, even if it turns you on in theory, you understand?” He nods and finally looks at you. It makes you feel a lot better that he doesn’t avoid your gaze anymore, it’s never a good sign when he does. “Yea I do. That’s why I was thinking Joel might be a good choice. We’re really close and I know he wouldn’t actually do anything. I think I’m more secure then.” You nod slowly, carefully considering your next question. “Okay. What would you actually want him to do in that scenario? I’m assuming touching me is off limits.” He responds strongly and quickly this time.

“Absolutely. That I don’t want, not even when I trust Joel. I don’t know…maybe like…us spending a night together, just hanging. You flirt a bit and talk about what he could do to you. And then I fuck you, with him watching us.” For some reason this conversation is feeling more awkward the longer it lasts but you are determined to make this come true for him. You can tell how much it took for him to start this discussion, so you will not avoid this.

“Okay so all very hypothetical, nothing that actively involves Joel…I think we can do that. But I want you to be honest when it gets too much and tell me immediately. I want this to be good for you”, you finally tell him. He smiles at you, nods and leans over to kiss you. —

It is happening a week later. You have spent every single evening negotiating hypothetical scenarios of what could happen to figure out what Aleksi wanted from this. At some point he had laughed a little and told you to stop overthinking it, it would ruin the fun eventually. You understand what he meant, but still you want this to be what he imagined it to be. Obviously the three of you had agreed on a safe word incase anyone feels uncomfortable but your biggest goal for the night was for nobody to actually need it. You had put on a nice skirt, no underwear underneath. Aleksi had told you that he was fine with you showing yourself off to Joel as long as he kept his hands away from you and the idea of flashing him excites you more than you were willing to admit. The doorbell rings and your heart rate doubles in a split second. “Get the door darling, will you?” There is a certain tone in Aleksi’s voice that he doesn’t usually use when you are having a casual conversation. This voice is a bedroom exclusive and the fact that he uses it already sends shivers down your spine. “Yes babe.” In front of the door, Joel is already waiting for you with a slight smile on his face. By his expression you can tell he is the most confident tonight and you can’t help but feel like his role in this is the easiest to play. “Hi angel” he says and goes in for a short hug. You reciprocate, careful to not get lost in the touch for too long. Once the three of you settle on the couch with a drink, you manage to relax a bit. The boys go for beer as usual, you stick with soda for the night, determined to keep your mind clear and attentive. You are sat right next to your boyfriend, one of his arms around your shoulders and his thumb lightly caressing your arm to remind you of his presence at all times. Like you would possibly forget about that. Aleksi hasn’t addressed you all night, while Joel asks you a question every once in a while to include you in the conversation. You know they do it this way on purpose and you begin to feel like it’s the right time for you to make a move and test the waters. You shift away from Aleksi a bit and uncross your legs, pretending like you just need to stretch them a bit. The truth is, you are making sure Joel watches your every move and you can tell that he has seen everything you wanted him to as he raises his eyebrows in surprise. “You’re bold.” He remarks, making no effort for Aleksi to not notice. Yet your boyfriend only eyes you from the side, acting like he doesn’t know or care about what’s going on. When talking about all this, you had told him to surprise you with cutting off your actions and now you’re curious to find out how much it takes for him to remind you who you belong to.

“I like your rings, Joel.” You purposefully choose a more flirty tone for your comment. “In fact, your hands are very pretty in general.” Usually, when saying such a thing to someone, you would take their hand into yours to stress your point further but the most important rule tonight was for Joel and you not to touch apart from the casual greeting hug, so you stick to words. “Oh really? You were looking at them for some time, hm?” You smile, becoming more confident. “I mean you were looking at me too, weren’t you?” He shrugs. “What do you expect if you put your pussy on display like this?” The whole purpose of this conversation is for you to flirt with Joel like your boyfriend isn’t right next to you, so you decide to keep your gaze on the blonde man in front of you but you would die to see Aleksi’s face right now. “I never said it was a bad thing. Matter of fact, I like your eyes on me like that.” You started playing with the hem of your skirt, carefully revealing a little more of your thighs. Joel hums approvingly. “Good to know. That’s all you like? Just me watching you?” You look straight into his eyes for a few seconds now. His gaze is curious and somehow his eyes appear darker than usual but you manage to not look away. “No. Actually I would love to find out what those pretty hands can do.” After this sentence you hold your breath as if you’re waiting for a vocal reaction from your boyfriend. You know that Aleksi wants you to have this exact conversation with his best friend but you’re still holding on to see if he objects. He doesn’t. Joel snorts. “Damn, are you really needy like that? Doesn’t Alex give you enough attention?” You shrug, leaning back against the couch. “I mean he hasn’t included me in the conversation all night and he’s barely looking at me. You watch me like you would fuck me right here if I let you.” You can practically feel the air thickening. Now it’s getting interesting and you become nervous again. You wonder how much longer Aleksi will listen before taking action. “You’re basically begging me to fuck you, the way you play with your skirt, flashing me like this…you want me to bend you over this table and make you cum so many times you forget your name, don’t you angel?” “Maybe I do.” Just as you say these words, you feel Aleksi’s hand on your thigh and the sudden touch makes you shiver. Fucking finally. “What the fuck do you think you are doing, darling?” You don’t dare to look at Aleksi, all of the confidence and boldness has left your body within a second. Without even seeing his face, you feel his gaze is heavy on you and no matter how hard you tried, you wouldn���t be able to hold it for long.

“Nothing.” It’s the only thing that comes to mind and you realize in an instant how ridiculous it sounds. Aleksi tightens his grip on your leg. “Well it didn’t exactly sound like nothing.” You swallow hard. There’s something intimidating yet intriguing about his behavior right now and you’re dying to find out his next move. “I mean, you didn’t really pay attention to me tonight, what am I supposed to do?” You can see Joel laughing a little at that, your boyfriends however seems to be anything but amused. “I was having a normal conversation with Joel but you can never wait for attention, can you? Listen, if you wanted me to do something, you could’ve just said it. But no, you see another man who might pay attention and you’re putting yourself on display, even with me right next to you. Seems like you forgot whose little bitch you are.” His last words come unexpected but he knows it’s what you like to hear. You whine and reach out to touch his shoulder but he grabs your wrist in a quick motion. “I didn’t say you could touch. Lay down.” “Or what?” For the first time, you are now directly looking at Aleksi and he raises an eyebrow at you. “I wasn’t asking, darling. I’m telling you to lay down, so that I can show Joel and more importantly show you, who it is that makes you feel good. And let me tell you, when you cum tonight, it won’t be because of him.” You quickly lay down after that. As much as you would love to provoke Aleksi just a little more, you’re getting too excited for his hands on your body to wait any longer. In the corner of your eye, you can see Joel. You turn your head to the side to get a good look at him. He seems pleased with the scene in front of him, eyeing your body up and down like he is making sure not miss a single inch of the skin that is revealed when Aleksi pulls your skirt down. “It’s a pretty thing you got there, Alex”, Joel points out and the compliment makes you sigh. Something about being spoken about like you’re not there just does it for you. “Trust me, she’s a lot prettier when she is moaning underneath me.” He sounds determined but he doesn’t do much yet. His fingers are lightly brushing over your inner thighs and you love it yet you need more. You start squirming a bit, hoping your boyfriend gets the message but he seems determined to make you vocalize what you want him to do. “Darling, is there something you want? Any reason in particular why you can’t hold still?” All you can answer is a mumbled “Please…” “Please what?” “Touch me.” The longer he drags out what is going to happen anyway, the emptier your brain goes. All you need is for him to finally please you. Aleksi however doesn’t seem to even consider giving in yet. “I am touching you? My hands are right here on your legs, can’t you feel?”, he asks and applies a little more pressure to your thighs. Motherfucker. This is obviously not what you mean. He knows what you want. You know what you want. Joel knows what you want and he in particular seems to enjoy what is happening as his grin is just growing wider. “Aleksi I need you to please me, make me cum, I don’t even care how, just please, do something.” You think this has to do the job, it’s most definitely all you can articulate right now. For the black haired man sitting between your legs, it is not enough though. “You seem pretty needy for someone who just minutes ago talked about fucking my best friend. You didn’t seem like you needed me then.” You whimper loudly, you can’t take this anymore and while your head feels empty, you start begging your boyfriend without thinking about what you even want to say. “I-I was wrong, it was a mistake, I need you, I need you so badly, not anyone else, just you. Please do anything, I can’t take it anymore, I-”, you cut yourself off with a loud moan as Aleksi lowers his mouth onto your clit and starts sucking harshly without giving you just a second to get used to the new sensation. You start mumbling his name as if it is the only word you’ve ever known and for a second you think about putting your fingers in his hair but you remember what he said earlier about no touching. While you’re not sure the rule still applies, you would rather not find out the hard way, now that you finally get the pleasure you have been anticipating. So instead, your hand lands in one of the pillows on the couch, you just need to hold onto to anything right now. “That feels good, darling?”, Aleksi mumbles against your core, the vibration sending chills through your entire body. “Fuck yes, it does feel good, feels so good.” “Hm, you want more?” You hum approvingly at this question, whatever he is willing to give right now, you’ll take it. Suddenly he inserts a finger inside of you and you arch your back. He knows you well enough to know which exact spots feel the best for you and he is using this knowledge to show Joel just how good he is at making you enjoy yourself. When it’s comfortable, Aleksi adds a second finger and slowly but surely you feel yourself approaching your orgasm. Your boyfriend can tell as well and decides to slow down for a second. “Darling, why don’t you look at Joel and tell him who can make you feel like this, hm? I bet he would love to know.” You turn your head towards the blonde man once more. Clearly, he has been watching attentively, now he’s looking right into your eyes. “It- it’s Alex. He’s making me feel amazing, I only need him to please me. I’m his and his only.” What you’re saying goes beyond what Aleksi asked for but you know it’s what he wants to hear eventually. You would love to say even more but before any further praises for your boyfriend leave your mouth, you whine loudly and your orgasm washes over you. Aleksi doesn’t stop his actions until your high is over but he makes sure not to overstimulate you. Yet, all of a sudden, everything starts becoming too much. Not necessarily physically speaking, God knows, Aleksi has kept going for longer before, but knowing another man is watching you right now, does not feel like the exciting thing that it was an hour ago anymore. Your boyfriend caresses your legs up and down, the motion is soothing you a little until he starts speaking. “That’s a good girl. doing so well for me. Are you ready to show Joel how good you look when I fuck you?” You gulp, staring at the ceiling and before you can even think about it properly, you drop your safe word. Both Aleksi and Joel didn’t expect this but your boyfriend immediately pulls you up into a hug. “What’s wrong, darling? What happened?” You feel ashamed, even though you technically know you don’t have to. You had agreed to this and you had been so busy, making sure Aleksi’s boundaries aren’t crossed that you seem to have forgotten about your own. Tears start forming in your eyes but you try your hardest to not start sobbing right away. “I don’t know, I just- I liked it but I don’t wanna go further, it feels like too much, I don’t- damn it I want Joel to go away.” Silence. You realize how harsh your words must have sounded. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean-” “It’s okay angel”, Joel assures you. “Don’t worry, I’ll leave. You tried and it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. Those things happen. It’s not your fault.” He gets up and walks towards the door. “You two have a good night.” Aleksi mumbles a response in his direction, you’re too stuck in guilt and shame to answer him as well. Your boyfriend strokes your arm and leaves soft kisses on your hair.

“Darling, it’s okay, it really is. You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m so proud of you for telling me when it got too much.” You lean further against his chest and inhale his scent, slowly calming down, now knowing it’s only you and him.

#blind channel fanfiction #reader insert #aleksi x reader x joel

[the-very-rubiest]

I've been thinking about a cute lil fic where someone in the audience holds a asexual or aromantic flag and that's how maybe joel or aleksi find out that that's a thing you can be and figures out that he is normal after all and there's other people feeling the same

Hey anon, so I've had this ask chilling in my inbox for a while now, bouncing back and forth in my head a little with some disjointed ideas. I'm definitely not gonna write it, and this is not at all what you requested (tonally), but some thoughts:

First of all, I can't imagine them recognizing the flags at a glance so the first thing that happens in my head is that someone bumps into the person holding the flag and goes, "What country is that? I don't know the flag—Joonas, you know all the flags. What flag is that?" (Joonas: "Uh, I don't think that's a country flag…") Cue laughter from the fans in question and an explanation, which leads to:

"What's that?" More explanation. Explanation processing, please hold. And this is where I deviate from your idea, anon, because as common an experience as the "I'm normal after all" feeling is, I'm also a big fan of the "Wait a minute, people are feeling WHAT? I thought everyone was exaggerating!"

Definitely not because I had that experience, no no.

Results would still be the same, a whole lot of introspection and feelings of "huh, I guess that makes sense" and finally a better understanding and acceptance of yourself. I just uh…had to be funny about it. Sorry.

(More serious thoughts under the cut because this is kind of a touchy subject.)

That said, I can see your scenario happening especially re: Joel and the aro flag. Regardless of his actual identity (which we don't know and can't speculate on), Mr. "I don't know what love is" definitely has a difficult enough relationship with romance to at least question if the label might fit him after learning about it. What happens from there, I shall leave to an author who's more comfortable writing about all this because TBH I'm always iffy about fanworks assigning identities to real people, no judgment to people who do, it just feels a bit risky to me. Ship fic I don't mind as much because it's more of a silly little what-if scenario and less focused on something this personal, does that make sense?

(But also, as an asexual myself who has encountered quite a few oblivious aspecs in my lifetime…you ever hear someone talk and wonder if you should alert them to the existence of the ace/aro spectrum, just in case? Like "Hey, you good over there or do you need some vocabulary?" because regardless of their actual orientation, people can only benefit from having that info to help understand themselves. So…I'm not saying someone should actually take one for the team and wave an aro flag in his face buuuuuut—?)

#i struggled a lot typing this out hELP can you tell i'm very off the record + 10 km outside my comfort zone #anyway if someone wants to take anon's idea and write it please do #ask #anonymous #fanfic tag #nonsense tag #commentary #happy ace week y'all!

[lnights]

What if all 3 omegas got pregnant at the same time? How would the pack handle this?

SHEER PANIC

The three omegas would end up glued to each other all the time, being all cuddly and purring; trading stories on how they feel (Joel and Aleksi glaring at Niko because he hasn't had a single bout of morning sickness, the lucky bitch)

The three alphas are running around making sure the nursery is ready and making sure their mates don't lift a finger.

Joel: I can sing! I'll just sit on a stool.

Tommi: *cuddling him close* I have never known you to sit for more than a couple minutes at a time, were cancelling the tour.

Joonas would be going nuts trying to make sure they were all eating well and staying hydrated, especially the two dealing with morning sickness.

Olli, or I should say Doctor Matela, would be keeping an eye on them to make sure they're staying relaxed.

Lots of cuddling. Like, entire days in bed, tummy's being rubbed and on and off sleeping.

#answered asks

[catboyolli]

thank you for the tag @yes-armageddon-it ! 💖💕

N.I.K.O. stands for → No Ice Kittens... Owww (as in sad because no kittens)

If I ever get the chance to speak to Niko → I'd thank him for making all those songs I fell in love with and I'd gift him (well, the whole band) a little something that I've been planning for a while

Knowing Niko, in 2023 I expect → more drunken dumbassery please 🤞

Of all the lyrics Niko wrote so far my favorite one is → I walked through fire / somehow survived / now I don't know if I'm alive or only burning

----------

Venom, aka Joel, would say about Niko that → he's the reason why their lyrics are so cool

I heard about Blind Channel the first time → a few days after ESC21, fell in love immediately

Little, Man aka Aleksi, loves Niko because → they talk a lot about personal stuff and music 🥰 (or that's what I remember from one of their pre UMK videos)

Hearing Blind Channel without Niko would → be horrible, please do not attempt, ever

Every line Niko raps makes me → bop my head and sing along

Last year my highlight with Niko and Blind Channel was → those fucking margaritas man

My favorite Blind Channel song right now is → Autopsy

----------

My favorite scene from Titanic is → I never watched titanic don't kill me jskfsjf but that one where they are in a big boat?? yeah

One day Blind Channel will → come to my country! c'mon guys c'monnnnnn you have to, you'll fall in love with us like pretty much everyone does

I love Niko because → he tiny and angy just like me 🥰

Life is a bitch but → you know so it's karma you gotta say fuck it and keep going

After a Blind Channel gig → I'd buy merch and see if I can get a pic with them, then I'd go eat something

Never have I ever → seen Blind Channel live jgkfhdj 😭

ESC 2023 will be → not boring, hopefully

NC Enroe is in da house! So you better → hide, because the rap hands are contagious

leaving this one open because it's already 18th almost everywhere else and i feel a bit self conscious, but i had a lot of fun doing it so if you see this, please do it! (or ask me to tag you if you don't wanna yoink it)

#tag game

[lonelyvomit]

was wondering if anyone will be willing to translate the finnish parts in this livestream: https://youtu.be/1m5YQs8Xt_s i’ve always been curious about what they’re talking especially with each other but i don’t think i’ve seen any translation 😭

HI sorry it took me ages to get to you but here we go <3 I had never watched this before and holy shit these dudes are disasters asdfghjkl

translation of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m5YQs8Xt_s

I included time stamps so you know what part is what. there's some bits I cant make out when they're talking over each other or mumbling into their hands but I tried. italics are comments they read out loud from chat.

[at the start 0:02] Joel: hi. this, this is good! put it like that so it's like half-

[0:13] Joel: fucking 400 already... come- get another chair from there and come next to me. thanks a lot

(0:26 unintelligible)

[0:30] Joel: seriously shut the lights that was cool

Joonas: stop the complaining. depends what it looks like. *shuts lights*

Joel: this is seriously better. you'll see when you come check. see the monitor is like - if I turn it on it's cool *goes dark*

Joonas: oh no

[0:55] (between Joonas' "Joel fucked it up") Joel: let it be

[1:05] *Aleksi enters the room, something unintelligible between him and Joonas*

Joonas: the monitor is gone

Joel: Aleksi can you put the monitor so it like lights up

[1:24] Aleksi: you want the monitor gone?

Joel: make it light up so it's brigter, we'll show up better cus now that halogen doesn't really work

(1:43 unintelligible again)

[1:48] Aleksi: this doesn't work like this. but I'll put this away, this tv

Joel: okay. it would've just been nice to get a little light

Aleksi: no but it's-

[2:27] Joel: is it nice being in Eurovision? I guess it is. exciting

Joonas: why don't we have any music on?

Joel: we can try put some on

*Joonas promising to say hi to someone (in the crew? I think someone was named Nykänen) from someone in the chat*

Aleksi: what music do I put on?

Joel: well Slipknot

Joonas: why do I feel like every time- *Aleksi laughs* put that one, that's good

(Aleksi unintelligible)

[3:29] Joel: are you drunk? absolutely not, I'm not even- I've drank- *holds up redbull* this

Joonas: no product placements

*camera gets knocked over & music starts*

Joel: wrong song

Aleksi: I put an album on

Joonas: put-

[4:04] Joel: fuck there's a lot of viewers

Aleksi: who all are there? there's me, Joel and Joonas, we've been making new music

Joel: yeah

[4:21] Aleksi: what dudes have done today? (replies in english)

[4:43] Joel: fuck... why doesn't this stay bright?

Aleksi: I don't know

[4:55] Aleksi: where are the rest of the band members? they're elsewhere, they couldn't come here to the studio. Joonas dance more

[5:27] Joel: when to Turku? I guess when the world opens up. opinion on Oulu? it's... (unintelligible, something about coming from there)

[6:10] Joel: favourite song from your own repertory?

Aleksi: Dark Side!

Joel: have you been to Raahe? Not for a show

Joonas: I've been to Raahe to play football sometime. hey I've been to a show in Raahe, (to Joel) you've been too

[6:57] Aleksi: new music on

Joonas: cant spoil

Aleksi: cant spoil the upcoming songs

[7:12] Joel: *laughs* have you been to Kerava? I mean of course. I shouldn't laugh but yeah

Aleksi: how old are you?

Joel: fucking old

Joonas: too old. nah

Aleksi: about twenty... three

Joonas: Aleksi is twelve and Joel is fifteen and... figure out from that

Aleksi: do you think you're famous cause you have the blue thing after your instagram name? no

Joonas: don't talk about that, Joel gets sad

Joel: opinion on Hollywood Undead? just today I was DMing with Johnny 3 Tears. awesome dudes. we opened for them 3 years ago

[7:51] Aleksi: Couch Potatoes

Joonas: we're- this is a lot more entertaining Couch Potatoes

Joel: yeah

Joonas: our version is a bit different. fuck my neck hurts

Joel: if possible will you be at Provinssi? of course, if it's arranged we'll come blow up the main stage

Aleksi: who is who? I'm Joonas

[8:28] Joel: Joel I love your hair, thanks a lot. Joonas is my husband, no one is allowed to steal him from me, okay.

Aleksi: when will you get the blue ball? lets not get into that conversation

Joel: fucking never

Aleksi: hi guys, hi

[8:50] Joel: ohhhhh fuck, what a jacket

Joonas: who's the hardest drinker in the band? well it depends in what way. I'd say the drum artist Lalli can beat quite many dudes in that

Aleksi: is Aleksi going to still make his own music or will he focus on the band? will also have own music but right now we're quite a bit more in this studio

[9:28] Aleksi: who has the most tattoos? probably Niko

Joel: yeah

Joonas: Niko probably

Aleksi: why is Aleksi wearing that AC/DC shirt? I-

Joonas: he doesn't own other shirts

Aleksi: I bought a lot of these

Joonas: he doesn't know how to do laundry

Aleksi: I bought a number of these cause the shirt felt nice

(something unintelligible about Joonas' jacket)

[9:59] Joel: I've been listening to you guys for 6 years already, fucking yeeees

[10:25] Joonas: now I gotta say this is not a good song

Joel: it's a fucking good song! what the fuck? sorry we're cursing a lot. we're irresponsible... human monsters

(someone invited Aleksi somewhere, Joonas said they'd be there)

[11:05] Aleksi: I have drawings of Blind Channel

Joonas: me too

#asks #translations

[paleangels13]

Special delivery for @itsfandomsgalore 😳

Hope you enjoy your last prompt, this one is...ahh...it-it's something :) (and will definitely be turned into a full fic!)

(it's spicy, very spicy...🙂)

Prompts: "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?" & "YOU DID WHAT?" (2&19)

Pairing: Aleksi/Robin (uhm...and...and some more... :))

642 words

Aleksi was sitting in front of his pc in the studio, the other guys working around him as well. 

He nervously pulled his hoodie tighter around his neck, knowing fully well that there were a few traces from last night. His friends would undoubtedly tease him for weeks if they'd see the hickeys covering his neck, disappearing underneath the fabric of his sweater. 

“Was that our doorbell?” 

“It must have been. Is anyone expecting someone?” Niko asked, looking around. “I told you, no ladies in the studio, guys,” he then jokes, getting up. 

Aleksi looked at his phone when a new message arrived, well technically it had arrived 20 minutes ago. Shit. 

Niko left to answer the door, talking over the intercom to figure out who was there. 

When he came back he gave Aleksi a knowing look. “It's Robin. He says Alex forgot something at his place and wants to return it real quick,” Niko said, obviously not implying anything. 

“I could have run downstairs real quick to get it. Why didn't you tell him that?” Aleksi jumped in, trying not to sound nervous. 

“Ow, you wanna get rid of me?” 

Aleksi looked up, startled. Staring at Robin who was now leaning in the doorframe. 

“N-no. We're just working. I didn't want to tear the others from their focus,” Aleksi stammered. 

“Sure, darling, sure.” Robin smiled. “Anyways, you forgot some… stuff at my place and I thought you'd like to have it back?” 

“Ouhh, Aleksi, do you wanna tell us something? Maybe before we find out what kind of 'stuff' you two are talking about,” Joonas teased, smirking. 

“N-no, I-” Aleksi started, a flush creeping to his cheeks. 

“Ow, don't worry. I kept the handcuffs, you won't need them without me anyway, will you?” 

Aleksi didn't know how to react to this, he couldn't even tell if Robin was joking or not. Yes, there had been handcuffs involved, no, he didn't need everyone here to know, though admittedly, he could feel heat pooling in his gut at the humiliation. Knowing everyone from the band was now staring at him. 

Robin smiled innocently, before reaching for his backpack and slowly opening it, definitely making a show off of it. “You did however also forget the buttplug and I figured you might actually want that back.”

Joel almost choked on his water in the background, Olli coming to his rescue just in time. Niko was coughing not so subtly, definitely feeling like he shouldn't be here right now. Joonas was the one to break the silence: “YOU DID WHAT?” 

Aleksi could feel a furious blush spreading all over his face and down to his chest, trying to somehow sink deeper into his chair and disappear. 

“Why does he know of your secret sex toy collection and I don't, Alex? Also, a buttplug? Really? Are you being such a good girl for him and prep yourself with one beforehand? So you're almost ready to go immediately because you can't fucking wait?!” 

Aleksi almost lost it at the female pet name, his cheeks burning, shorts suddenly way too tight. 

Robin didn't really care about the pet name, knowing fully well how much Aleksi loved it. 

He did turn to look at Joonas, his eyebrow raised because something else was bothering him a lot more. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” 

Joonas huffed indignantly. “Jealous? Why would I? I can have him suck my dick or scream my name in pleasure while being turned into a fucking mess underneath me whenever I want. Believe me, he isn't only willing to be a good slut for you. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be one for every single guy in this room,” Joonas said, then directed his gaze at Aleksi. “Wouldn't you, baby?” 

And how could Aleksi have disagreed..? 

“Why don't you show us then?”

#prompts #my writing #rpf #blind channel rpf #aleksi/robin #aleksi/joonas #aleksi/everyone #prompts from 150 random prompts

[poodlejoonas]

Dad!BC AU - the moms

So wow-ihateithere and I (because for some reason Tumblr won’t let me directly @ you) have been tossing out so many amazing ideas for the BC dad AU lately that we’ve thought of pretty much every scenario under the sun. One idea I’d like to throw in here is the group that is the moms who make up their own personal wolfpack. Since they’ll be brought in as stand-alone characters soon, it would be better to have a basic introduction for each and how they know/interact with each other.

(Under the read-more for length)

Joel - Emilia (”Millie”) Hokka - The absolute baddest bitch you will meet on this planet. She's a 5′1″ sweetheart, but if you lay a single finger on her kid, her husband, her BC brothers and sisters, or any of her nieces and nephews, she will become the human embodiment of that one line from “Wolfpack.” You know the one. She’s gone viral before for Joel needing to hold her back from fighting the mom of a kid who’s bullying Enkka at school, and literally watching this tiny woman become a human hurricane at the drop of a hat was enough for this kid to immediately leave him alone. From then on, kids at school know not to come after Viktor Hokka because his mom doesn’t play around. Why would she? After all, she dedicated 18 months of her life to trying to become a mom, and anyone who dares to come after her baby needs a running start to get away from her.

Sometimes even Joel has to hold her back from doing something she probably should regret but wouldn’t if it involved her family. He knows better than to cross a line with her. Then there are other times when they work together to be the shadiest power couple on earth, like when Aleksi’s ex-girlfriend Laila slanders him in the media for talking about taking custody of their son from her. If Joel comes home pissed about something, she’s the first one to jump on board with whatever plan he has to get his point across. She would totally have a stan account on Instagram dedicated to her called “milliehokkasupremacy”. And Joel loves his wife so much that he would eat every bit of this shit up. When she tells someone off, he writes down what she says and turns it into the lyrics of Blind Channel’s next single.

In short, Millie Hokka is 100 percent That Bitch™.

Bonus bit because this idea made me laugh: (in the comments section of a post slandering BC) @milliehokka: Bitch you better take this shit down before I puncture your fucking tires @joelhokka: She's my better half ❤️

Joonas - Kirsten Porko - Kirsten’s one of the quiet BC moms, and a hell of a lot more tame than Millie. But she has her shining moments every now and then, like when she was wondering why Millie took Joel with her knowing that she could’ve easily beaten that bully’s mom’s ass without him. She has the patience of a saint, being married to Joonas and raising two (soon to be three) kids with him. But she adores every minute of their chaotic little family. Since Sohvi was the first of the BC kids, the guys were quick to show up in support of her and Joonas. She was also pretty lonely until the others started dating their wives, and she was more than happy to have more friends to bond with.

She does the most to mother the rest of the kids when they need it. They love to come to their house because Kirsten will have a fresh pan of cookies ready for them. They also like hanging out with Joonas, but Kirsten is a fun aunt on her own. She’s typically the first to show up when one of the other moms tosses out a cry for help in taking care of their kids, especially when they’re newborns and the guys are away on tour. Kirsten’s total aesthetic is the absolute opposite of Joonas’s: she’s bubbly and wears nothing but pastel dresses and soft fabrics. A lot of people wonder what a “nice girl” like her is doing with a punk rocker like Joonas, until you see them interact and know that they’re crazy in love with each other and their kids. She’s the unassuming type, but she loves pranks as much as her husband and kids; she’ll play along whenever there’s a really good one and sometimes she can totally outdo them.

Niko - Jenna Moilanen - Jenna is Millie’s co-conspirator and partner-in-crime. If Millie needs someone to back her up and Joel’s trying to talk her out of whatever she’s thinking about doing, Jenna is the first to show up on the scene. She’s very much Niko’s type - she has just as many tattoos as him, several piercings, and hair that changes color depending on her mood. She’s naturally a blonde but you almost never see her as one. A lot of people tend to pass judgement on her abilities as a mom based on her appearance, but both of her and Niko’s kids adore her (especially their daughter Lahja) and they grow up happy with their loving parents. She’s a fantastic cook and works as a head chef at a five-star steakhouse, and she’s always willing to come home and cook for her family as well. She and Millie are the two shortest of the group, and it’s hilarious because they are both absolute spitfires.

Jenna has the best intuition when it comes to deciding who is trustworthy and who isn’t. There’s no “leader” in the group, but most of the others trust Jenna when someone gives her a bad feeling. She would be the one to raise the alarm on Laila years before she and Aleksi ever break up, and Laila would find the absolute worst way to end up on Jenna’s shit list. In her time with the group, Laila does nothing to help take care of the rest of the kids or try to fit in with the group. One day, when Leevi cries because he needs something, Jenna spots an annoyed expression out of the corner of her eye coming from Laila. It takes an intervention from God to stop Jenna from ripping her apart on the scene. The most important thing to note about Jenna: she calls her closest friends “bitch” affectionately. The moment it stops being affectionate, there’s no turning back.

Olli - Kaarina Matela - The quietest and calmest of the BC moms. She perfectly matches her husband’s energies, which is why they parent their daughters so well. She was definitely more calm than him on the day they learned they were having twins, and still is to this day. When he was panicking about their pregnancy scare, she was still managing to stay collected somehow (but just as relieved as he was). She’s very much like a suburban soccer mom type, but far from being a Karen because she’s aggressively kind to everyone around her, including hardworking people. And Olli just adores her so much, sometimes he doubts if he even deserves her. She’s always the first to remind him that there’s no one else she would rather be with.

Kaarina is the arts and crafts kind of aunt. During the summer, she likes to have the kids come over for day camp style hangout sessions where they mix in time outside with craft activities. She’s the reason why Olli’s stage outfits have been so cool lately, because she’s got a perfect eye for colors and is super skilled at hand-stitching patches. If the kids need anything repaired, they’ll know to go to Aunt Rina first because she’ll either make it as good as new, or turn it into some sick artwork. All the moms get along but she and Kirsten vibe together the best. They get together and plan the summer activities for the kids, which involve Rina planning the crafts and Kirsten baking for, and with, them.

Tommi - Marja Lalli - Marja is unique in her position as a BC mom because she joined the group when her son Miikka from a previous relationship was already almost 4. For a brief time, she was worried about herself and Miikka feeling left out of the group dynamic that was already there, but they were so quick to invite her in as one of them. A lot of it had to do with her being friends with Jenna since elementary school, and Jenna knew that the sisterhood would be more than happy to accept her. She and Niko help set her up with Tommi because they both know he would love her and accept Miikka as his own. She’s chill and reserved, but she’s still a ton of fun to be around. Along with Kaarina and Kirsten, she’s one of the level-headed moms and is typically the voice of reason for a lot of things (especially when it comes to trying to contain Millie and Jenna’s tempers).

The rest of the moms were thrilled when she told them she was pregnant with Anna, but constantly concerned and fretting over her when she was on occasional bed rest. If Tommi couldn’t be with her, it was one of them coming over to help take care of her and Miikka. Marja’s health showed the caring side of the sisterhood of the BC moms, how they are willing to take care of each other in sickness as well as celebrating the good times and defending each other from drama. Even months after Anna is born, they still come over from time to time to see if there’s any way they can help.

Aleksi - Laila Pekkanen (later on, marries Hanna Kaunisvesi) - So this one is a bit complicated. For about three years, Aleksi was in a high-profile relationship with Laila Pekkanen, a producer who worked with him on a solo single before joining BC. They meet again a couple years later and begin a relationship that last for about three years. But it was far from loving, as they were just in general not good for each other. A few weeks after their break-up, Laila calls Aleksi while he’s in the studio to break the news to him that she’s pregnant, which sends Aleksi into total emotional turmoil because he thought they were being careful. Of all the guys, he’s the most careful with avoiding this kind of thing, but it was her who missed one too many days of her birth control. They’re barely on speaking terms, but they agree to try to stay cordial until Aleksi can take full custody of the child himself. She admits to having no maternal instinct and wants nothing to do with the baby.

Here’s where it gets messy. Aleksi finally decides to break his silence on the matter and announces via Instagram that he will be a father and raise his son on his own. He does his best to tell his side of the story without dragging Laila down. But she takes it personally and goes on the radio to try to attack Aleksi, feeling like she’s being treated like a villain and a bad person for giving up her child. She feels like she’s being “exposed” in thinking that Aleksi publicly acknowledging their son’s existence would ruin her career, because she’d been trying everything possible to cover it up. It becomes a major feud between her and her team, and Aleksi and the BC team, but more industry people can back him up as a stand-up guy than they can come to her defense. She nearly ends up having Noah prematurely, and yet Aleksi still shows up in support, more so for their son than for her. When Noah is born months later, she refuses to hold him and immediately cuts off all contact with Aleksi. 

Aleksi raises Noah alone and learns to support his son when he’s later diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Noah is semi-verbal and partially communicates with sign language. He uses sign in situations when he meets a stranger, and Aleksi respects his intuition when someone makes him uncomfortable. Noah has separation anxiety from losing his mom at a young age, so Aleksi refuses to date for years because he doesn’t want to bring a revolving door of strangers around him. But then he meets Hanna, who makes an almost instant connection with him. He’s hesitant to make a decision about a long-term relationship with her until he sees how well she works with Noah. She’s one of the first people he opens up to - mostly because of her experience as a child psychologist - but the moment that seals the deal is when Noah calls her “mom” for the first time (in sign to his cousins). Fans and people he works with can’t help but notice that Aleksi is so much happier with Hanna than Laila. And as much as he would like to have a baby with her, he’s happy having Noah and wants to invest his energy into ensuring his happiness. But Hanna understands, because she’s an angel and only wants the best for her family.

#blind channel #dad!blind channel #no idea what else to tag this as lol #this is a lot more fun than making them all reader inserts #i love writing reader inserts but it'll be nice to see them interacting with each other

[olliscowizz]

High Ground - Olli Matela FF part 3

Hiya, Once again back with another part. Enjoy. Really enjoying where this is going. lol

The next morning Sara woke up to the noise her manager was making. “What do you think you’re still doing in bed?”, he almost screamed at her and she immediately got up from her bed, grabbed her stuff and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Over the years she learned that it was better to obey him, than make him angry.

After Sara was ready they went back to the rehearsal room Blind Channel occupied. They all were already there. Sara couldn’t help but to sneak a shy smile at Olli, which he returned. Nobody seemed to notice their little exchange.

“So today we have a lot of work to do!”, Niko announced and the all got to work. While Tommi was trying out different type of beats, that would suit the song, Joonas playing the guitar and Olli playing Bass, Aleksi tried to record Sara, Niko and Joel doing their vocal performance. It was harder than she imagined. She also did a bit of harder music but she couldn’t scream like Niko could. Joel on the other hand was a very talented singer with a rough yet smooth voice. It was a pleasure for her to be working with such talented young men.

After another two hours of just trying out everything they once again became hungry. Why were they always hungry? The boys agreed that they should go and get some food, leaving behind Sara, Olli and Tommi who wanted to work on their technique a bit more. After five minutes Tommi decided he needed to go outside to get some fresh air, which resulted in Olli and Sara being alone in the room. “I really enjoyed our conversation last night”, he confessed to her and shyly looked away. Sara couldn’t help but blush at his comment. She too enjoyed their conversation. “Me too”, she admitted and looked straight at him, which made him look at her too. “Do you maybe want to go out tonight? We could go to a bar and just get to know each other?”, he asked her and she could see the hope in his eyes. How could she say no to that? She quickly nodded.

Right as Sara was about to say something the other boys returned again. “We brought a lot of very unhealthy food!”, exclaimed Joonas and seemed to be very proud of himself. Seemed like he was the reason they got fast food. Sadly Sara wasn’t allowed to eat that. She didn’t have a fast metabolism and was only allowed to eat junk once a week and she did that the day before.

“Thank guys, but I’m not really hungry”, she apologized to the men and sat down on the couch, took her phone out and answered a few comments on her Instagram account. “You sure? The food is delicious”, Joonas tried to persuade her, but she didn’t budge. She couldn’t afford to make her manager even more angry than he already was with her. She overslept this morning, and he hated nothing more than people not being on time. She didn’t want to risk it. She once again shook her head no and just focused on her phone.

After they were done with rehearsal, they all went home. It was a tiring day but Sara was very nervous for her date with Olli. Could she even call it that? Was it a date or just a nice little get together like friends do?

She decided that she didn’t mind and just got ready in her hotel room. She quickly took a shower, and styled her short hair, put on black skinny jeans and a red crop-top and voila, ready she was. she texted Olli on Instagram, that she was ready and where she should meet him. It didn’t take him long to answer. He told her, he would be picking her up and that they would go to a winebar.

Olli didn’t let Sara wait too long, because after ten minutes he was there already, looking like a snack with his black button down shirt and black jeans. She suddenly felt underdresses, which she told him. “No don’t worry about it!”, he reassured her. “You look perfect!”, he complimented her and only after it was out did he realize what he was saying. They both started to blush. How could two adults be so shy around each other?

They started their walk to the bar and talked about how much they loved music. “So you know what has been bothering me the whole day? You said you weren’t hungry when we ate our lunch, but that cant be”, he said and all the color drained from Sara’s face. She couldn’t tell him! Was the only thought crossing her mind. “No everything’s alright. I just have those days, where I don’t eat a lot”, she brushed it off. “As long as you are in the mood for wine, then I am happy”, he said and Sara in her thoughts gave herself a highfive for dismissing the guy.

They arrived at their destination. It was a cute little bar with vineyards swinging around the door and rustical wooden patterns everywhere. Sara already loved it from the first moment. They walked in and Olli was greeted by the, what it seemed like, owner of the bar. “Take a seat at the back!”, he said and Olli softly grabbed her hand and led her to a secluded area, where they could watch the whole location, but no one would be able to see them. “So what wine do you drink?”, the owner asked them and they both gave their orders. While Olli ordered himself a redwine, Sara stuck to her Rosé.

They started talking, and they both couldn’t stop staring at the other person. Was that how it felt like to be really attracted to someone? Sara thought to herself. She dated before, but she never felt like that. And it scared her that it took the man in front of her only a few sentences to make her feel all fuzzy.

“I am really sorry to interrupt your little date here, but we are closing in five minutes”, the owner came back with an apologetic look on his face and Olli and Sara looked at each other witch surprise faces. Were they here for so long? They paid their bills and left the bar, not without Olli grabbing Saras hand once again. She could feel an explosion in her stomach. “Should I bring you to your hotel? Or do you maybe want to come over to my place and we can share a bottle of wine there?”, he asked her and she agreed to the later.

After a five minute walk to Ollis apartment Olli let them in, and they took the elevator to go to his flat. “I only have red wine, if that’s alright with you”, he called out from the kitchen and she shouted back that it was fine. His apartment was decorated really nicely. The colors were very basic black and white but it suited him perfectly. Olli came back with two glasses and another bottle. “You don’t have to stand here all lost, you can sit down”, she wasn’t about to be told twice and sat down on his very comfortable couch.

They talked some more. About their nicknames, which flower they wanted to be and what pets they always wanted, sooner or later, they both didn’t notice they drifted of to sleep in each others arms.

They both would have slept longer if it wasn’t for a phone ringing, and oh did Sara know that specific ringtone, which never meant any good. Her manager always texted her, he only called when there were very urgent changes in her schedule or when she fucked up.

And fuck up she did this time.

#olli matela #blind channel #blind channel imagines #blind channel fanfiction #niko vilhelm #tommi lalli #joel hokka #joonas porko #aleksi kaunisvesi #alex mattson #high ground ff

[mondscheinprinzessin]

⭐ For any part you like to talk about (preferably from your Soulmate AU☀️🌕🌟)💖

I never can decide on anything, or even a specific part, so let me just ramble a bit about it^^

For starters, this was my first soulmate project ever, and while I am not the biggest fan of the trope (it can be so cliche if done without proper inspiration), I got reminded of a fic I read in another fandom, and oh the drama and hurt, I just couldn't resist putting my favs though it as well.

It was also the first fic where I included my now favourite OT3 ship (apart from a short febuwhump prompt). So many firsts!

I think for this AU I did the most planning I ever did for a fic, meaning chapter outlines, what exactly I want to include, I had a big doc of inpsiration of dialogue and scenes etc. But even though I did that a lot changed thoughout the story, sometimes I just went with the flow, for example in chapter 8 where Aleksi has this big blowout with Joel and Joonas, and it's all a big misunderstanding.

With the argument I only knew the start and and the end, but between that it was complete spontaneity, with what would sound natural, what would make sense, and how for Aleksi, and for Joel and Joonas this is a complete different situation, they are playing two seperate parts here with different understandings and goals, and I really wanted it to be frustrating for a the reader, because at some point they will have to find together, right? But it didn't feel right for Aleksi's character at all to be so quick to fall into this.

Now even Joonas seemed to lose his patience and ran both his hands over his face. “No, that’s not how it is at all. We really like you and not just as a casual hook -”

(All they want is a chance, but there's not breaking through at this point of the story, it's too early)

“I’m not stupid, okay?!” Aleksi yelled at them. His hands fell from his arms and tightened into fists. “I’ve seen your mark, I know you’re waiting for someone else, so don’t pretend I’m so important to you when I’m not.” 

(At least Aleksi has grown over the time enough to stand up for himself now, I doubt it would have been the same in school)

This is why in chapter 9, I first had to establish a curve of his character that made sense for Aleksi to finally allow himself to trust, and boy was that difficult. I love love love leaning into character's feelings and thoughts, as difficult as it is sometimes, but I have to admit I'm really proud on how this one turned out.

And yet when it comes to the scene of Aleksi inviting Joel and Joonas in, I couldn't give it the happy ending yet. There was still a point of pessimism, the hint that Aleksi will get hurt, because after years and years of pain it didn't make sense for me to make a fairy tail ending out of this so quickly. And I had to span the character arc a little longer (and I really hope it wasn't too much at this point).

"Because let’s be real, he was far from perfect, and he knew that best out of all people. How long could it take them to realize that too? Obviously they had this picture of him in their heads that they were chasing and once they had him they would be disappointed."

"But no, they had betrayed and hurt him, who was to say Joel and Joonas couldn’t do that too despite saying they liked him? At the latest when they found their soulmate and let go of Aleksi."

But I think in the end it was worth it. This part of the fic really was hard work for me, and Aleksi's character ran away from me and my plans (ryyyd😄), but it was also very much fun to write it.

#answered #another-sun #wish I could tell you more about specific parts #but this one I refer to here I think is one of my favourites in the story #because it's a turning point

[ifidiedinadream]

What are your favourite things about Aleksi? 👀

uuuuhh dear get ready for an essay

it's most definitely a product of idealization but in my head it makes sense. it's gonna be kinda deep and personal and not just a list of features i deem attractive, more why he's attractive to me specifically. it's gonna be super cringe and maybe i'm simply too desperate and lonely and should download tinder again idk

to me aleksi seems sweet, kind and patient. i'm a pain in the ass to deal with when you get close but i think he'd be able to. i think he's self aware and sensitive, at least to some degree, or else he wouldn't be able to calm people down from anxiety/panic attacks. its extremely attractive to me because emotionally speaking i'm all over the place, whereas aleksi appears to be somewhat stable and emotionally mature. i like that he seems a pretty balanced person in a way, reserved just how i like, but not boring at all - in fact i like that despite all of this, even in his (at least apparent) calmness, he still takes risks (joins a band and we all know the circumstances, isn't afraid to play with his appearance and not fit in a box). i love how passionate ("nerdy") he is, he's witty and smart, yet he doesn't try to be the center of attention. i feel like his charm is very subtle, i didn't even notice him for the first two weeks i was into bc, too blinded by joel's inhumane beauty, but once i noticed him there was never a turning back. he's simply magnetic. ive never seen eyes like his before. his lips look incredible. his jawline is very sexy.

basically i think we'd be a good match. we're both on the introverted, private side - our character somehow matches, i think we're both the responsible, reliable ones, but also i think he'd be that "rock" (stability) i so desperately need in my life (listen, i'm 27, i've done many things in my life, most of them stupid, i have bpd and i'm tired. i really need calmness and serenity and that quiet happiness that only a healthy relationship could offer?? not that i've ever had anything like a healthy relationship idk). and the fact that i see an unknown intensity under that seraphic facade?? it keeps me obsessed because i feel that there's something underneath, yet aleksi never shows that side of himself to us (rightfully so, i appreciate it), so we can only imagine what it's like. i think it's what makes him so alluring to me. i wonder how intense he can be. how deep he can love. he never truly shows himself to us fully and what's more intriguing than that??

so i think it's a matter of contrasts. calm yet intense, self aware yet self conscious (HIS FUCKING POSTURE), handsome yet not loudly so (unlike, say, joel), passionate yet quiet, funny yet introverted, a rockstar yet very low-profile. soft and gentle but who knows what lies beneath??

i like joeleksi so much because i'm totally joel, literally like him only quieter on the outside, and i love writing aleksi being the only one able to make the sky in joel's mind clear up, halt the storm. i feel like he'd do that to me.

aleksi and joel are both my favorite but aleksi is a full blown crush and joel isn't, not really anymore at least. i'm attracted to joel for projection reasons mostly, im very interested in him from a psychological point of view, in him as a person and human being. i would never date him. i think we'd hurt each other a lot and as i said i crave serenity. aleksi on the other hand... in my head he's a perfect match for me. exactly what i want and need in a man and more

#answered

[theflyingfeeling]

for the fic ask

7. How do you choose which POV to write from? 11. Link your three favorite fics right now 56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

7.

Ooooooh 🤔 I've never really thought of this that much, but usually it's just the general ~vibe~ I want to create and usually one character is more suitable for that purpose than some other character. I also have certain characters (comfort characters) that I prefer writing because it's easier for me to...relate to them, I guess. Or I feel like I can see a bit better inside their heads. Out of my current fandom (Blind Channel), I've always thought writing from Joel's, Joonas' and Olli's POVs is easier for me than the other three, although recently I've been more comfortable writing Aleksi's POV as well (blaming it on the Olli/Allu brainrot 🥰). Niko and Tommi are still mysteries to me in a way, so I haven't written their POV that often and don't really feel like I can do so convincingly 😭

11.

Ah. I hate to admit I've been terrible at reading fics lately 😭 I think the last one I read and really loved was till it's fatal by @ao3userxnowimnothing. Midsummer Magic by AO3 user full_moonless was a lovely read as well. And for some variety (because I really do have other things going on for me besides BC tyvm!! ...such as hockey 🥰), I want to give a shout-out to this hockey rpf that still lives rent-free in my head 💔

56.

Oh, you gonna have me compliment my own work? ME, who's constantly feeling she's not good enough for anything ever? 💀 Well alright, something that always warms my heart when my readers mention it is the way I "use words", because that really is something I put a LOT effort in when I write (possibly more than what is necessary), and I think I'm fairly good at it too; playing with words, taking fixed phrases and "blowing them up" to create new, innovative ways to say something instead of using clichés is something I enjoy. I've also been told I'm good at delivering the feelings of the characters (or at least the POV character) and that's also something I'm kinda sorta proud of a little bit 🥺

thanks for asking <3

get to know your fic writer

#the olli/allu fic i'm currently writing (still not sure whether or not i'm gonna publish it on ao3) is low-key inspired by that hockey rpf #it's a short one-shot and doesn't really require any knowledge about hockey or the characters so i can recommend it to anyone!

[chaoslaura]

So put your drinks up for your demons in the dark: 2, 4, 11, 14

2: What scene did you first put down? It’s the second part in the first chapter where Aleksi goes about his morning routine, and you get to know him a bit. Actually, I had so many small snippets of ideas for scenes written down, that it’s hard to pin down but I’m fairly sure this is the one I had fully written first.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? I picked two because I am bad at choosing and there were a lot to choose from:

“Don’t take this to heart. Alex not telling us doesn’t have anything to do with you. He has to make the first step and you know how hard that is. You’re a great friend, believe me.” I just liked how Niko knows how to deal with Joel, knows his insecurities and can reassure him based on that. Make him realize the whole thing has nothing to do with him and he couldn’t have prevented it and he himself should know it’s not always easy to convey his feelings to other people.

“No one is to blame for it, and this is not about us. We’re not here to scold you for any actions you took.” This one mostly because I wish everyone had this mindset. It’s easy to blame people for their self-harm as in the end they did it to themselves, it’s their fault after all, why didn’t they talk with someone or did something different. And some just take it personally as if you hurt them with your actions. It’s a sentence I wish I heard in my life.

(I just realized both are from Niko😅)

11: What do you like best about this fic? That it’s genuine. I don’t think I made it too dramatic or put in things that are too implausible. Let people see that this could happen exactly like this. And that in reality it’s not always big breakdowns or even more important, you’re not automatically healed at the end of it just because you’ve found someone who can help.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic? Maybe that they’re not alone. I’ve read some people saying in the comments that they can relate and I hope that they have a person who looks out for them and if not, understand it’s not the end of the world to confide in someone.

#answered #I'm sorry this got way too long #and deep #self harm

[the-very-rubiest]

B F H :)

HELL YES ANON THANK YOU. You chose awesome questions, here you go:

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Not any whole plot per se, but many elements! For the dynamic between Joel and Aleksi I take a lot of pointers from my own dynamic with my best friend, mostly because I do see a lot of cinematic parallels. Joel going to Aleksi when he's struggling is something I'm fairly sure does happen based on what I know of them, but the late-night memes and tiktoks (If It's Meant To Be and Flip A Coin) are actually my bestie. Same for Joel's over-apologizing in Flip A Coin when Aleksi finds him in his terrible mental state, and his "Why can't I just be normal?" in several stories. Also in Flip A Coin, Joel going off grid and Aleksi getting worried sick was directly taken from my best friend going MIA for several days directly before I wrote that part. They came back before I got to that scene, but Aleksi's feelings there are still my very fresh emotions.

However, I've also borrowed from personal experience when writing Joel himself—specifically the "can't sleep due to bad anxiety" scene in The Lost and the Enchanted, which is a pretty precise rendition of many of my nights last winter (minus the magical dog-roommate coming to comfort me, obviously).

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

That's gotta be Joel's drunken ramble in Cheerful, Happy Emo Boy:

“And the point is—the point is,” Joel tells him one night at a party, swaying a little from the force of his own grand gestures. “The point is…what was my point?”

Aleksi watches him with unveiled amusement. “Something about birds, I think,” he says.

“Right! Birds. Fucking seagulls—evil little shits, steal your food and probably your—what’s the word—your kids—your fucking babies are what they steal. They’d steal you,” he adds, staring at Aleksi with wide eyes. “Kidnap you and—boom—and then what?” He takes another gulp from his beer. “What do we do then? And my point is—you have pretty eyes.”

I love it because it's just Completely Freakin' Random, it makes no sense and it's very lively in a way that, in my opinion, fits Joel well. I also took some pointers from the drunk scene in Good Omens, you know the one. "My point is…my point iiiisss…dolphins. That's my point."

(Bonus points for Joel implicitly calling Aleksi a baby, by the way.)

H: How would you describe your style?

A little anachronistic, with a slight storybook feel. I've been influenced a lot by 20th century writers like Tolkien or Terry Pratchett and I think it shows, especially when I write more lighthearted stuff. Otherwise, I'd say atmospheric and fairly expressive—I love painting pictures with my words, just feelings and Vibes y'know, and my writing can change a lot depending on the genre and tone I'm going for! But at the same time it always sounds like me, if that makes sense?

Thank you so much, anon! Some of these answers were a challenge, but I had a lot of fun!

Fanfic ask game!

#anybody got more? i always accept more #ask #anonymous #ask game #fun corner #writing corner