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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark / remove it with the kiss of a knife / even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''mutter'' by rammstein

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dazais-guardian-angel · 4 years

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Time for my feels dump thoughts on Diabolical Box...! y’all, this game. this game. I don’t think people give it enough credit for... a lot of what it does, despite the messiness of the plot reveals... but it’s so special and unique, in ways I’m only now appreciating. also this is gonna be really REALLY fucking long I am so sorry, but I have a Lot to say about the ending parts... i just love this game so much...... so i wrote a fucking novel bc of course i did.

also i played this in October, completely unintentionally, so that’s noice.

The amount of voice acting and cutcenes in this compared to CV is amazing, I love it so much, even if it is funny sometimes the dialogue they choose to voice and then abruptly cut off a few lines later.

I had COMPLETELY forgotten about Luke jumping on Chelmey and trying to rip his face off and it’s just the funniest fucking thing omg; Hershel in the background going “NO LUKE THAT’S HIS FACE” is comedic gold.

Will we ever know what Hershel was going to say when Chelmey asked him what Luke’s relationship to him was... dammit Luke why’d you have to cut him off.

Hershel calling the hamster “generously proportioned” is amazing. also “I’ve always said that helping rodents in need is among the duties of every true gentleman” Hershel... please tell me what other situations have made you say that... please...

Why is there an entire subplot about finding this Karen’s dog, just to make Chelmey look like even more of an idiot? if they needed to pad the game out more, they definitely could have done it with flashbacks or in places that I’m... ahem... emotionally invested in

Flora’s treatment in this game is so infuriating to me, like... why did they think this was a good idea? What was the point of bringing her into the plot for NO other reason than to be kidnapped and impersonated? Was it literally just because they needed a way for Hershel and Luke to run into Don Paolo and get the box back from him??? Why couldn’t, idk, Katia run into him in Dropstone and get the box from him and save Flora, that would still get the box to her and keep Flora in the group, and it would tip them off to Katia being related to all this even earlier, and Don Paolo could still be shown there if he absolutely has to make an appearance in each game. I know it’s because he has to be built up and then revealed, and because Hershel always has to have a dramatic point-n’-reveal every game, but whyyyyyy does it have to be at the expense of Flora. :))))) It would have been interesting to see her reactions to Folsense and Anton and everything, and not have Katia be the only female involved in all this; maybe she could, you know, actually have a personality!! hahaaaa who am I kidding...

beluga: “it’s already been a year since she passed away” me: whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

Anderson talking about Dropstone and the sacrifices made to found it and how it can’t die out like “other towns”... with the song playing... whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

The sheer coincidence of Katia going to Folsense on the same day that Hershel and Luke would end up in Dropstone and then there, and on the 50th anniversary of the town... not a likely one.

Didn’t some versions of the game come with a real version of the train ticket to Folsense? I want it D:

i also want a real Elysian Box, like can i commission someone to make one minus the whole you know actual gold, please, i’ll pay aNYTHING- *sobs*

LUKE HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT HERSHEL IS AN ARCHEOLOGIST, AFTER ALL THE ARCHEOLOGICAL SHIT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH

Hershel to “Flora”: “you’re as white as a sheet!” Don Paolo, minutes ago while the others aren’t looking: *furiously powdering his face mask or some shit*

Why was Anton’s diary lying in the street though... it doesn’t make sense that Katia or Beluga would have it, and they couldn’t open it anyhow. probably just a gameplay thing that should go unquestioned but I want to knowwww lol. Also wish Hershel and Luke had reactions to the entries.

Ilyana tho. Also bootleg Clive asdfghjkl

I LOVE THE TOWER OF HANOI PANCAKE PUZZLES

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the obsession with the tea set... like yeah it’s fun to serve tea when you actually get it right, but I’m stuck with like two recipes missing and getting frustrated just trying and trying countless ingredient combinations on end because some of the npcs are NOT helpful enough in telling what to make :))))

Obviously Katia can’t reveal anything or say anything about why she’s there at all to keep the suspense till the end, but it would have been cool to see her working together with them and making a plan to get into the castle and help Anton aka I just wanted more scenes with Anton being nice and not flying into a rage over a misunderstanding ugh

It’s honestly pretty impressive some of the deductions/connections Chelmey makes in this game, despite his... other incredibly stupid ones lol

“iSnT iT oBvIoUs?”

WHY DOES HERSHEL RISK KILLING LUKE (AGAIN) WITH THE BOX. And why tf does it not do anything to them since they assumed it would...?

The biggest mystery of the series is how Pavel gets where he does, truly

The music in the forest is truly one of the best osts, god I love it. I also adore the Herzen Castle ost now, I never really noticed it before but it is WONDERFULLY creepy and heavy and melancholic and just... idk, those harpsicords go hard. damn.

Opening the Elysian Box is the best puzzle in the series, because of the meaning behind it. Or at least, it’s my favorite for that reason :^)

Alright folks so I’m gonna be completely, unabashedly honest here, and reveal myself to be the superficial, shallow fucker I am lmao: Anton is super hot and I’m still attracted to him even now, and I hate that we get so little time with younger him dklslskdfkflssd I AM SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY. BLAME THE VOICE ACTOR, HE HAD NO RIGHT TO SOUND SO UNEXPECTEDLY DEEP AND INCREASE ANTON’S HOTNESS LEVEL BY 1000%... just. god damn. damn. the dining room scene. the lighting. the way he puts his hands down and closes his eyes at one point. the way he says Herzen. the freaking sass with “chalk it up to my bad taste then.” the little clap. his entire design which just oozes Victorian era anime bishie beauty. kudos to the character designer who was like “well they said make someone cool and handsome and i wasn’t sure what to do but i tried and i guess it worked out” GOOD SIR BOY DID YOU SUCCEED. how dare this man turn me on so much, fUCK. And I know it’s super shitty of me to not like his old design as much!!! but just!!! why the beak nose.... why.... he was so gorgeous and then you give him the Bronev nose treatment..... i’m already so sad over the ending but you make him look so much sADDER, THE SADDEST POSSIBLE DESIGN FOR OLDER ANTON. It’s not that I mind him being old, I just wish he looked more like himself... there didn’t need to be such a drastic change. But I know I’m just being petty lmao. anyway stan Anton for most beautiful PL character always 🙏 Descole and Clive’s hotness have nothing on this man

*ahem* But to get back to serious topics, replaying this now when I’m older, with the ones after it in mind, I think I finally realize why this game stands out to me so much from the others, making it my favorite. To put it as best I can, Diabolical Box, to me at least, just has a different feel from all the other PL games. Yes, it’s still definitely a Layton game, you still investigate a mystery, there’s still puzzles everywhere, it still has a relaxing city or country feel to the atmosphere, there’s still lots of charm, but once you hit Folsense and the climax and the ending reveals, the tone sort of... shifts? Not drastically, but enough that’s different from any point in all the other games that I can remember; I feel like Last Spector might have the closest kind of atmosphere to Folsense at certain parts, but even then the plot of that game is nowhere near to having the same tone as this one. Diabolical Box, when you really look close at it and think about it, is dark. Dark in a way that none of the other games are, despite the darkness some of the others do have. And I think part of that is because almost every other game/movie is connected to the overarching story involving Hershel’s past and people involved with him, and so the drama and angst is very much grounded in London or other places Hershel would be/was, and in his time, but Diabolical Box is unique in that the story and characters in it have nothing to do with him. And to reflect this, Anton and Sophia’s story is based in the early 1900′s, the Victorian era, in a city so far separated from, again, everything to do with Hershel, that if you were to just watch their story by itself and take the professor and Luke out of it, and you knew nothing about the series, you could reasonably argue that it isn’t from a Professor Layton game at all. What I mean is that Anton’s story could be an entire anime all on its own surely it’s not obvious how badly I want that, nope, not at all, completely separate from this series, and it would work; it could be its own period era-esque drama series, still with all the supernatural shit intact later on. I can think of a few existing anime similar to what I’m imagining.

And I really do think it would be amazing, because like I said this story is terribly, terribly dark, and sad; as a PL game, like a lot of the other ones, it can’t go deep into the nitty gritty of what makes Anton’s story so fucking depressing, but just like... Imagine it. Imagine being alone, for so long in that castle, so long that you don’t even know how long it’s been anymore, with virtually no one, after having your heart broken and being abandoned by the person you loved the most, and who you thought loved you, and getting no closure about it. This long post goes a ton of detail about Anton’s character and things he was probably feeling/reasons for his behavior, but in short, Anton’s mother is never mentioned, so combined with how distant he was from his father and the fact that he feels alone in his role in society and that no one truly sees him as a real person, it’s quite possible that he clung to Sophia unconsciously as a mother figure, and, in general, she was the only person who made him feel seen, and loved. The only exception was Beluga, but Beluga leaves the town and Anton behind after quarreling with their father, so... It’s just extremely apparent when you read the diary entries and his dialogue (with the voice acting) that Anton was always alone and terribly insecure, and that Sophia made him the happiest he ever was - and so her leaving him was devastating to him. He was alone for fifty years (and who knows how long it actually felt, to him), in a lonely castle and emptying town, his entire family either left or dead, his body slowly aging without him even knowing it, while he had a daughter and granddaughter born without even knowing it, and all the while he’s left with the misunderstanding that Sophia might have loved someone “better” than him all along, never getting answers, having to live with all that grief and guilt and blame and jealousy and self-hatred over a situation that wasn’t even entirely true. Imagine what your MENTAL STATE would be like, jfc it’s a miracle he’s as sane as he is in the game!! Not to mention everything that crashes down on him within TEN MINUTES AT THE END. Yes, Unwound Future and the prequels very purposefully heap the angst on with Clive/Dimitri and Descole respectively, like “we are trying so hard to make you feel for this guy cry cry cry” and I fall for it like the trash i am love them too, don’t get me wrong, but Anton’s tragedy is much more understated but in my opinion is by far the absolute saddest of them all. I just... i’m crying y’all, this poor man. give him a fucking HUG. Anton Did Nothing Wrong 2k20; he doesn’t even hurt the people he lures in with his vampire scheme!! he lets them go without a scratch!!! what a guy... give him a hug and blankets please i love him so much, him and Sophia- *sobs*

and also as a side note, I honestly think Descole/Desmond would fit perfectly into this game for a lot of these reasons, in the trend of “trying to fit Descole into the first trilogy”; he’s got the right Aesthetic™ for one thing, but mainly just he and Anton have a LOT in common...! actually, now that I think about it, Randall and Anton do too, but I much prefer the notion of Descole and Anton interacting. honestly, I’m toying with the idea of an AU where Desmond and resurrected Aurora end up in Folsense and solve that mystery themselves instead of Hershel and Luke; i think it’d be fascinating.

However, by the same token, as much as I LOVE this game and characters for all of those reasons... it also makes no fucking sense ahaha. How the FUCK does the gas work. The illness that started killing people when the ore was first unearthed and is the reason everyone starts leaving, is THAT from the gas I assume?? but like why?? cause eventually it just turns to making the town appear as it was years ago and keeping people young, so...? ARE ALL THE TOWNSPEOPLE NOT ACTUALLY THERE, OR THEY ARE AND ARE JUST YOUNG LIKE ANTON; I’m still not clear on this!! because Hershel at the end says they’re illusions, and yet when you talk to the npcs so many of them complain about being tired and feeling old, so what is the truth!! It would make sense if newcomers see the town as it is in the pictures, but there’s no reason for them to not age... in fact, I don’t understand where the not aging thing comes from at ALL, since if the idea is that the gas makes what you think will happen happen, how tf did that even come about in the first place??? There’s no way everyone who inhaled the gas would think the exact same things and have the exact same hallucination. And if fifty years passed in reality, how long did it feel like to Anton/others; surely it couldn’t have been that long if they never questioned why they weren’t aging? If the gas in the box put Schrader in a coma, what was his theory about what would happen? Why does nothing happen to Hershel and Luke upon opening it when they clearly assume something will happen? Related to other things, how does the box become the source of a rumor, and how does Schrader even get it? Do people just assume Anton is dead or otherwise gone, or do they know/assume he’s still in the castle but don’t try to see him because of the vampire? Does Beluga know Anton is still there, if he does it’s pretty shitty of him to ignore him, and why does he think the box has to do with the fortune of all things if he possibly knew Sophia wanted it and knew it had something to do with her and Anton (seriously I don’t understand Beluga, I really wish they’d done more with him; he looks so shitty even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he knew the least amount possible)??? Did Sammy know that the drugged flowers related to getting into Folsense? Did Katia know how to get into Folsense, and what was she planning to do if she never found the box in order to prove she was who she said she was? Why do some of the npcs act like they know the deep dark secret of Folsense and keep saying Hershel and Luke don’t need to know, and keep talking about the town being cursed, like do they really know the truth?? Or not??? LEVEL-5 I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I’M TOO DUMB TO FIGURE OUT THE ANSWERS. EVEN LAYTON VS. WRIGHT’S STUPID REVEALS MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THIS AAAAAHHHH

anyway DB best game anton hot Even with all the weirdness though that makes this game the most Layton the Layton series has ever Layton’d lmao, I still love Diabolical Box so damn much. I love it so much, guys. It’s not part of a huge narrative, it’s not connected to the main characters; it tells its own little story and it does that perfectly. It’s so unique from all the rest, like I said, the plot has so much depth I don’t really see talked about, Anton and Sophia’s story is so beautifully tragic and underrated on a mature level that none of the other games really reach, and despite how upset I am we don’t get to see more of them, their love story is so impactful and emotional just from what little we do see, despite some of the oddities of how it plays out... they’re so sweet together and I cry so damn much over them ಥ⌣ಥ Iris is one of the most beautiful and touching songs in the series, too, and my favorite. And I’m a sucker for the Victorian era and cute romance lmao, so it just gets me like nothing else does... it’s so wonderful. saddest PL game, I will die on this hill. Even if I seem to talk a lot more about some of the other games/characters simply because there’s more content to talk about and there’s more to say about the more flawed content. you can’t improve perfection *chef’s kiss*, deep down, I think, this game will always be my favorite. ❤️

#professor layton #professor layton spoilers #meta #'thoughts post' more like Dana Rants An Entire Novel of Feels #but what is tumblr for if not this amiright #anton and sophia utterly destroy me and they always will #there's not much shown but what IS shown is so goddamn devastating and painful and bittersweet #i don't ship much but they're one of my otps so u know they good :')#i wanted to say even more here but i felt so guilty for how fucking massive this post was alksdfkfl;ss i cut some of it out already #i can kinda relate to Anton though tbh.... not getting closure on a relationship ending is truly painful; it's one of the worst things ever #so i feel for him </3 #and i love him #protect anton herzen always #and stan DB always

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heilewelt · 5 years

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“I like anything that’s good for me.” – An Interview with Orville Peck

Orville Peck is a good one. When we sat down in the lobby of his hotel it was easy to forget about the mask he was wearing – instantly I was caught by the glint in his eyes when he talks about his music. I love the idea of creating a new persona and starting fresh without the names of previous bands giving you an expectation of how the music should sound like. The debut album “Pony” is one of a kind – based in Country it opens up to so many more music genres like punk, Rock and even the huge singing style of musical. I’ve been in love with this beautiful dark voice since the first time I heard “Dead of Night” a couple of month ago, before I knew anything about him or the mask. We talked about his voice and that it wasn’t always this beautiful dark. If you want to know more about this and how everything came together, please enjoy our little conversation.

The first thing I thought when I heard your music for the first time – I didn’t see a picture and I didn’t know anything about you – I had to think about Jandek. He makes a little weird music and for 40 years or so no one knew who he was. When I heard your voice, I thought about him and afterwards I learned about the mask and everything.

Orville Peck: That’s funny. I haven’t thought about that for a while.

Would it be something you’d like to accomplish – no one knowing your face for so many decades?

I don’t think it’s a goal of mine. This look is just part of who I am as Orville Peck. That’s not really a conscious decision to conceal anything. It’s just part of my face.

What was first: Having your very personal songs and then hiding or hiding and then say now I can write about myself?

I think it was a bit of both at the same time. Some of the lyrics I’ve been writing for quite a long time now. For example I’ve written the lyrics for “Turn To Hate” about 4 or 5 years ago, before I really knew what I was going to do with it. Growing up with the music I really liked, I was always into the lyrics. I remember when I got the CDs I always loved reading the lyrics in the CD pamphlet and things like that. For me lyrics are very, very important. I’m a big Patti Smith fan and I think her lyrics are so important, maybe even more important than the music. The music just adds to it. I’ve always looked at music like that. I’ve always liked the stories behind songs and I’ve always loved reading tour bios and things like that because I love hearing about what a song is about and who they were written about. That kind of stuff always intrigue me. I just like making music that has a story. I think it was something that was already in me and the mask just gave me the confidence to actually do that finally.

I’ve recently done an interview with William The Conqueror from England. Actually there is no William in the Band. The singer and songwriter Ruarri Joseph said that going away from his own name gave him the freedom to write about his own past and get really personal. It’s quite funny to meet you now.

Maybe something similar I guess. I used to think I’m a really open person with friends and everyone and a very easy person to talk with. Until this project and writing very personal stuff, I realized that the older I gotten that I’m a bit of closed person and it’s actually hard for me to talk about my feelings in a real way which is funny because I never actually thought I was like that. People would always say that to me. So, it’s been an interesting, cathartic thing for me to do this album. When I get to sing these songs on stage, it’s sometimes hard for me. It’s been very good for me as a person because it made a lot more open.

It’s a bit like therapy.

Totally. It’s really special to see other people in the audience getting emotional because relate to it or they know the lyrics for a particular song. That’s very cathartic as well because it definitely feels to me like I’m not alone in it.

I think what always happens to all of us at least once is that we think we are alone with a problem and because of that we don’t want to talk about it because we maybe don’t want to annoy someone with our stupid problem or the stuff we’re scared of.

Exactly. There is a song on the album that is very personal to me. It’s “Nothing Fades Like The Nights” which is actually about a heartbreak but a heartbreak in a different way. It’s not about somebody else, it’s very much about my own heartbreak and disappointment in myself. At the time I didn’t really understand it but now that I’m older I kind of understand it better. I went through a long period where I felt very numb emotionally and I couldn’t cry when I was sad and I didn’t know why. I’ve been in situations where people were feeling all these emotions and I didn’t feel anything. I thought something was really wrong with me. Ironically that was saddest times of my life, when I didn’t know how to feel sad.

I think it’s not always that easy to let sadness take over. It sometimes takes some courage to be just sad, especially when you have people around you who don’t expect you to be sad.

I’ve travelled my whole life. I’ve been living in so many different places, so I’ve formed a lot of quick friendships that are usually quite intense. Some of them were on a superficial level where I felt like we could just exist, travelling, crossing path and I never had to be a 100% real with anyone a lot of the time. It was an easy way for me to remain a little bit closed because I had all these friends all over the place. I could travel and see them all and put the focus on them, their issues and tend to not address my own feelings for a long time. This album is very exposing in some ways because it’s dealing with topics I’ve been struggling with my whole adult life. It’s the first time I’ve put it into any kind of performance or art. The experience is a personal thing.

Was there an initial spark to do this?

Yeah, I played in bands for many years. Then I took about five years off making music after my last band stopped playing and touring. I went to focus on other things. I acted my whole life, was a dancer and many different things. I went and focused on other kinds of performance. I thought I was done making music and touring. I really felt jaded about it all. After a lot of time passed I felt like something was missing from my life. I made music since I was a very little child and realized I missed it so much that couldn’t really be without it. I wanted to do something new and totally different from what I’ve done before. I loved Country music my whole life and loved singing my whole life. I’ve never really been a front man that often. I’ve usually played other instruments in my previous bands. I knew I wanted to do it my way finally. A lot of different factors encouraged me to do this. Up until a few months ago when we started releasing singles, I wasn’t sure how people were going to react to it. I feel very proud of the music. I feel like it’s music I would listen to but I didn’t feel confident that people were gonna respond in the way it has been. It’s been really, really lovely for me as well.

It’s sort of old-school but fresh at the same time and it has sometimes this schmaltz which I love.

I grew up with a very diverse taste in music, art and film. I really genuinely love every type of music. I understand when people are genre purists but to me I just don’t know why I would want to deny myself. Why would you want to do that? I think some music sucks but it’s not by genre. I like anything that’s good for me. I knew I wanted to root this album in Country music. That’s the main influence, especially Outlaw Country from the 60ies and 70ies. I definitely wanted to add a little bit of flavor of different influences of mine – those range from Punk to New Wave to Classical Music to Musicals. There are a lot of things on this album that I purposely referenced and slit in in different places. When I listen to complex artists I really like knowing that there is something in there they’re referencing, something totally different. I love finding those things as a music fan. I love nerding out over that. So I wanted to put that in there for people to find it.

I think if you wouldn’t do that as an artist you would just copy pasting what has been there beforehand.

For me it’s not even necessarily about trying to stay authentic in myself and that…of course it’s that as well. For me, I think, it’s about artists sometimes not giving the listener enough credit and they think they have to spoon feed something or have to do something very one dimensional for someone to buy it, especially nowadays. I think people appreciate complexity a lot more than we give them credit for.

It’s maybe not what you find in the charts but it’s here for the long term.

It’s maybe paves you a way as an artist.

I’ve read that you’ve lived in a lot of places like Africa, US, UK… how did you treat the local scene and the folk scene from those places as it’s different from Country or Americana, especially in Africa.

Although people might not pick it up right away but there’s a lot of African influence in the songs that I make. The kind of African music I really love growing up is penny whistle jive and Miriam Makeba or Brenda Fassie. The thing that I really love from that time period is that it is has a really upbeat sound to it and the rhythms are very specific and the core progressions are very specific but the lyrics are sometimes so somber and so sad but you wouldn’t notice it right away. I think someone like Miriam Makeba was really amazing at that. Essentially she was the South African Nina Simone. All of her songs were very much about Civil Rights and race and oppression but from the sound you couldn’t tell it right away. I actually have a song that didn’t make it on Pony eventually which is specifically about the longest period I’ve been living in Africa. That probably be on the next album.

You recorded your album in British Columbia and then my head started spinning with the mask and everything and all of a sudden you became the lone ranger to me. [we laugh] In the wild west…well, not that wild. I looked it up and the studio is pretty remote on an island.

Definitely. It’s a very rural part of British Columbia, it’s a small island called Gabriola. It has a very small population of people. If you don’t have a car… you can’t walk around at night because it’s just pitch black. There are really incredible beaches there and phosphorescence in the water. It’s a really picturesque place to make an album like this. I spend a good amount of time living in the pacific northwest mountain region and wrote quite a few songs there like “Big Sky”. I think a lot of people associate cowboys with the desert and that very dry atmosphere and a lot of my songs have that setting. The sound I wanted to capture for “Big Sky” is a rainy, dark feel, maybe a campfire in the mountain with a rainy, kind of cold feeling - that pacific north west your socks are always wet kind of feeling.

When I looked at a map, Vancouver is just across the sea - as if you could see it from there and I thought it’s a perfect setting for your music.

I think a lot of the things I sing about on this album were experiences that happened on the west coast of North America – from Vancouver all the way down to Los Angeles and Nevada. A big portions of the event in these songs take place along this coast.

You’ve got a big variety in landscapes just like in your music. My favorite song is “Buffalo Run”. It sounds very angry and aggressive but the words you chose always make me smile, too.

I’m a big fan of bluegrass which is a certain type of country. Bluegrass is famous for being really fast with the banjos and the mandolins with quite steady slow vocals on top of it. It gives the song a dichotomy. The thing I always love in is the key it is played in a lot of the time and the speed the banjo and mandolin are played at. It sound quite frightening to me, even though they are singing about some folky thing. The music sometimes sounds frantic and kind of scary to me. With Buffalo Run I wanted to make a song that brought that and also a little bit of my past of playing in punk bands. I wanted to combine these things and make a scary Orville Peck song. I also wanted it to feel like buffalos charging since it speeds up and has this stampede feel to it. That song is definitely going back to my old days of playing in Punk bands where when we played out every night I was getting to release a little bit of tension. [laughs]

It’s perfect for that. How long did it take you to find your voice? I love the tone of your voice.

I’ve been singing since I was very little. I always loved to sing as a child. I never was able to sing low at all, I used to sing in a high register. I did classical training as a tenor for most of my young adult life. When I moved to London about six years ago, I was doing this very intensive performance training and learned that I have this whole other two octaves to my voice that I never really knew about. For me, who sang very high my whole life, it was very exciting to find out something so drastically new about myself.

It doesn’t happen every day.

As a singer I was really excited to suddenly have a three octave range. I’ve always been such a fan of Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson and all these Country crooners who sing so low. I always wanted to make music like that and suddenly I was able to. I trained as a kid but this just happened by chance.

It’s so funny especially since you’ve been making music you whole life.

It’s bizarre. It’s like someone told me something like ‘you’re a tenor, you sing high’ and I was just like ‘yeah, ok’ and never even explored that other part of my voice for 20, 25 years or whatever.

To discover something that new that late, has it influenced the way you approach music nowadays?

Definitely. In some respects it has opened a literal range but also an emotional range within me. Maybe it was what I had to do to unlock my feelings. For instance “Winds Change” is a song on the album I go from really, really low in my register to going really high in my register. For me to be able to perform that… it is something really indescribable to perform that song because it just moves through my entire range of emotion. It makes it a lot more fun and it makes it a lot more liberating in the creative sense. I don’t feel like I’m trapped in one part. I feel really grateful that I can do it now.

As far as I read you played most of the instruments yourself.

Yes, for the first three songs that I wrote and recorded for this album, which were “Dead of Night”, “Big Sky” and “Roses Are Falling”…and “Take It Back” actually. On those songs I played probably 95% of the stuff on them. And then the engineer who recorded my album – his name Jordan Koop and he lives on Gabriola Island – plays a couple of instruments in those songs. And then some of the others were a mix of different musicians I worked with on the east coast and on the west coast. There is a really fantastic banjo player named Tina Jones. I play banjo on one of the songs and she plays banjo on a couple of the other songs because I wanted a very particular sound and it’s not my first instrument. I got her to play on the album. It was really nice. It felt very much like I got to choose the right people to fill the roles were I knew I wanted them instead of me.

How do you know you’re not able to do it yourself? Try it first and then figure out that maybe you should take some who can actually play that part?

I think for instance for an instrument like banjo there’s bluegrass, there’s folk banjo, there are just so many different sounds. The way I approach playing banjo is just from the banjo stuff I mostly listen to - bluegrass, faster banjo. For “Big Sky” there is a really beautiful line that Tina wrote that clicks just underneath everything. She is more of a Folk banjo player. I knew I wanted to have someone who has a better ear for that. Even though I can see and hear it in my head I need someone to execute that. Same as my guitarist Duncan Jennings who plays in my live band. He helped me to write a few of the songs and arranged some of the songs because he definitely more of a technical skilled musician. All the instruments I taught myself. I never went to music classes or anything like that. I sometimes feel like I can hear something in my head or visualize it but I don’t know how to execute it because I don’t have the technical skill. It’s good to have someone like Duncan in the studio because then I can be like ‘I want it to sound like it’s 1980’s and it’s slow motion and it’s on the beach in Malibu but it’s raining and that it’s that kind of guitar sound’ - I don’t know how to describe it and he’ll be like ‘like this’ and it’s perfect.

That’s magic!

That’s literally how I described the sound of “Hope To Die”. I approach music from a visual point of view because I’m a visual learner and I don’t have the technic. Luckily I know people who can not only help interpret that crazy explanation but also can execute it. Sometimes it’s a lot of experimentation but we get there in the end. It was a really cool experience working on this album because I had such a clear vision what every song should sound like and what it should look like, what emotion I wanted the people who listen to it will feel. We worked really hard that it will come across. I’m very happy with the outcome.

How did you make sure that people feel what you want them to feel whilst you were writing and recording the songs?

I’m saying this in a way that I hope it does do it. As I said to you earlier – I just used to spend a lot of time taking the focus off my own feelings, listening to all of my friends problems and put the focus on them because I didn’t want to be open. So, I think I’ve learned to be a really good listener and I understand other people very well. I think it’s actually the biggest skill that I have is to understand how to navigate all different types of people. It also comes from the fact that I’ve travelled so much and lived in so many different cultures, societies and class systems. I just understand that among all of us there is a common threat all the time and I know to access that with other people because I think it’s just about telling a story that everyone can relate to even if it has specific differences. It’s about knowing that we all have the same story. I think it has been really special for me with Orville Peck, or with “Pony” rather, that I sing about men a lot on this album, about men relationships.

I think it’s very good. I listen to a lot of music made by men who sing about women, so I usually have to switch the gender in my head.

I think the thing that is really interesting, that is so wonderful to me, is that a lot of people who are coming to my shows or messaging me are older middle age straight men with kids and a wife who say ‘man, that song is so beautiful. My wife and I are listening to it all of the time’. It’s so funny for me because it’s a song about two men and the fact that it doesn’t bother this person and that they connect to it regardless is so comforting for me as well. It’s funny because I feel like a lot of the songs on this album are about me feeling like such an outcast and such a loner in life and the fact that all these people love it so much and relate to it, suddenly I feel like I’ve so many people around me supporting me – it’s almost this ironic full circle where these songs are about my loneliness but now there are all these people around me. It’s a fascinating thing that has been happening to me with this whole album.

Thank you for the interview, Orville!

youtube

“Pony” has been released a couple of month ago and it’s been my favorite album of the year so far! He will be back beginning of November and be fast - the first concert is already sold out.

8.11. Nochtwache, Hamburg 09.11. Badehaus, Berlin - sold out 10.11. Folks! Club, München

Thank you for reading,

Dörte

#orville peck #interview #pony #country #outlaw country #on tour #music #rock #punk

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xiaomomowrites · 6 years

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Hopelessly Devoted to You

Attack on Titan | Erermika

Summary: With every fallen titan, Levi thought of every choice he made to stay by Erwin. His stupid blue eyes was all he could think about, and suddenly he was hitting harder, flying faster, and cutting deeper. God, he was so whipped for a dying man. But what could he do? He was disgustingly devoted to him.

She saw the Eren with bright, lively eyes that could pierce through the coldest of souls and the smile that could make the saddest person forget their troubles for a moment. And then now- he was unrecognizable, yet there wasn’t a day that could go by where she wouldn’t lay her life down for him. [Eremika, Eruri]

Find this story here on Fanfiction.net | {mikasa-heichou}

A/N: I’m back from the dead! I know I haven’t posted in forever but school started last week and the work load has been piling on me. In case you were waiting for the series Sincerity That Can’t Be Given, I promise you it will be done and posted by chapter soon. I also have a lot of art project deadlines to meet so, junior year is really making me work, but this is the Ted Talk that no one asked for lol.

Anyway this is my favorite song from Olivia Newton John and I just had to write it! If you haven’t noticed yet, majority of my stories are inspired by music haha. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did, leave me some love in the reviews~

“The reason I was able to take it this far was because I believed that the day would come,” Erwin looked down somberly at his hand and sat down, “That someday, I’d get those answers I’ve been looking for.”

He sucked in a breath before continuing, “There were so many times I thought dying would be so much easier. But I couldn’t get the thought of my father’s dream out of my head.”

Levi was quiet. He watched Erwin and could practically hear the internal conflict within his commander. He sighed tiredly, and the raven haired man sunk to one knee, placing a comforting hand on Erwin’s knee. He squeezed reassuringly.

“You’ve fought well, Erwin. It’s thanks to you that we’ve gotten this far.” Levi looked up from his position on the ground and his gaze hardened, “I will make the choice. Give up that dream and die, lead those new recruits into hell, and I will take down the Beast Titan.”

The commander lifted his gaze and looked at his captain gently. “Levi,” he said softly, “thank you.”

Levi reached up to grasp the back of Erwin’s neck and pulled him down until their foreheads knocked together. No words needed to be said, just a moment of silence and the sound of the other’s breathing was enough.

And Levi was off, whipping through the air the way he’s done countless times before and slashing his sharpened blades through whatever limbs came towards him. His mind was settled on Erwin despite the looming danger over his head; it was like his brain was short circuiting and kept cutting back to one image. Flashbacks played to when they first met, when Levi nearly held a blade to the blond’s throat, and when he sat by his hospital bed after losing an arm and berating him for being so reckless before saying “I bet I can beat you in an arm wrestle, old man.”

With every fallen titan, Levi thought of every choice he made to stay by Erwin. His stupid blue eyes, deep-ass voice and neat blond under shave was all he could think about, and suddenly he was hitting harder, flying faster, and cutting deeper.

The man let out an agonized battle cry when he took down the last titan before facing the beast angrily. He knew Erwin was going to die. It was inevitable with only one arm; the man could barely steer his horse properly. If anything, Levi had grown suspicious of how long he had survived and began counting his days with him long ago. Still, it didn’t make the sharp pain in his chest feel any better, because nothing could prepare you for a loved one’s death.

God, he was so whipped for a dying man. But what could he do? He was disgustingly devoted to him.

She couldn’t help but look at him with disappointment when his figure was still embedded within the titan. Eren looked so tired, so unwilling to fight a losing war. Yet he was here, in the middle of Marley, fighting the War Hammer Titan for “the sake of humanity”.

“Eren,” she called out softly. He didn’t even flinch at the sound of his name. “Let’s go back home, Eren. Please, come home.” Mikasa pleaded, but his eyes remained focused on the titan before him.

“Not yet,” he finally responded, “it’s not over yet, Mikasa.” Eren’s voice dropped to an octave she had never even heard before.

She sighed internally at the response and pursed her lips together. Of course it wasn’t over yet, it never was. Mikasa glanced down at him again and saw his unwavering will to fight. If it weren’t for that determination in his eyes that had been there since she met him, she would have never recognized him at a glance.

His long, shaggy hair tickled his jaw and it seemed like his eyes had sunken further into his face, making it look like Eren was more tired and older than he actually was. Mikasa figured years of Titan shifting had that effect on the human body, accompanied by the mental toll that also showed in his expression. His cheeks had hollowed out visibly and his lips had become perpetually downturned.

For a moment, she had seen Eren: the Eren she fell in love with. The one with short, fluffy hair and a boisterous voice that could echo in the longest of hallways. She saw the Eren with bright, lively eyes that could pierce through the coldest of souls and the smile that could make the saddest person forget their troubles for a moment. Mikasa remembered seeing the slight pink in his cheeks when he clumsily wrapped his scarf around her neck ten years ago, and she could almost feel the soft skin of his hand gently wrapping around hers when he took her home.

And then now- he was unrecognizable.

The young Ackerman was acutely aware she couldn’t do anything about it. Time was going to go on and in eight years time she was going to lose her best friend, the love of her life. But that wasn’t going to stop her from fighting by his side. In fact, she’d spend the rest of her minutes with him if that’s all he had left in the world.

And right now, he didn’t want to go home yet.

So Mikasa fixed her stare on the opponent. The War Hammer Titan stood menacingly and Mikasa knew what she had to do. With one last glance towards Eren, she leaped off his shoulder and swooped to the top of the nearest building.

What could she do? She was hopelessly devoted to him.

Mikasa trudged around the barracks aimlessly that night. She needed something to do. Without Sasha’s snoring or Historia and Ymir gossiping, she could almost hear the screams and the pleads of the comrades she had no choice but to leave to die and the loudness of the silence was driving her absolutely crazy. Mikasa simply couldn’t stay there anymore.

So she found herself silently padding into Eren’s room, only to see he was sound asleep. Sleep was something he never got anymore; she decided she didn’t want to wake or bother him before continuing experiments the next day.

There was only one more person that could be awake at four in the morning. She knocked on his door.

“Come in.”

She slipped through the doorframe and wordlessly padded over to the edge of Levi’s bed. The older Ackerman was seated at his desk fumbling with an empty tea cup, eyeing her knowingly.

“You’re up late, kid.”

Mikasa shrugged. “I had to get out of my room.”

Levi hummed understandingly, “Sometimes it gets so quiet, it starts getting louder.” Mikasa tucked her knees to her chest with her feet resting against the bed frame. Levi noticed her attempt to make herself smaller, yet he said nothing until she was ready to speak up.

And she did, eventually, after she found the sight of her scraped knees to be boring. She looked up with wet eyes and called out to him quietly.

“Levi,” It was almost a cry for help. Levi tried, he really tried, to stay rooted in his chair, but the sight of his only remaining family on the verge of tears seemed to strike a chord within him. Plus he always had a soft spot for Mikasa. He sighed dejectedly and went to sit next to her and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. She immediately leaned into the warmth.

“Alright, what’s on your mind?”

“I don’t know,” she croaked, “everything. I’m just so sad for some reason and I can’t stop it. It’s like… everything I do is meaningless.”

“Elaborate.”

“I mean,” she swiped away an unwanted tear, “I fight to protect Eren. It's what I've done for so long, it's all I know. But lately… I don't know, it's like he doesn't need me anymore. He has full control over his abilities, now. He can protect himself. I'm still gonna do it, you know, but now it feels… complicated.”

Levi was silent and Mikasa cringed to herself.

“I'm not even making sense, am I?”

He chuckled at that. “You are. In fact you're making too much sense, it's scary how similar we are.”

“I guess it runs in the family,” she scoffed.

“You know, when I joined the survey corps, all I wanted to do was live to see the light of day. Everyday. Until eventually, there was more of a reason than just to stay alive for the sake of survival. I was doing it to stay by Erwin’s side.”

Mikasa's chest squeezed painfully at the mention of her former commander.

“I didn't even realize how devoted I was to him. I knew he could protect himself- he was more than capable- but there was something I couldn't pull myself away from. It was stupid. I hated it. But I loved it at the same time.”

The younger woman felt herself nodding so aggressively at how much she could relate.

“Your need for Eren goes beyond what you think. It's more than just being 'head over heels in love’ or whatever sappy bullshit you wanna call it. Have you ever heard of soulmates, Mikasa?”

Her shoulders sunk at the term. “Yeah. Armin told us about it before. Gross, Levi, that's so cheesy.”

“I know, and I hate it. But what can you do? Us Ackermans have this gross need to cling to someone. Kenny experienced it, too. It’s stupid, but we’re just cursed to end up hopelessly devoted to someone else.”

Mikasa hummed, and they sat like that for awhile. His arm stayed draped lazily over her shoulder as they thought in silence.

“Levi.”

“Hm?”

“Why did you… why did you choose Armin? You loved Erwin, so why let him go when you had the choice to bring him back?”

Levi tensed for a minute.

“There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss him. I cared about him, which is why I decided to let him die.” Mikasa listened intently, “The man was tired, Mikasa, he held the weight of the world on his shoulders. Even if he was a broad son of a bitch, he had his limits.”

She chuckled at that.

“I guess you'll just know when the time is right to let go, huh?”

“Exactly.” He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “But you shouldn't worry about it so much. You can never be prepared for the death of a loved one, so don't bother trying.”

Mikasa frowned, his statement not sitting with her well.

“Now, even if you're my only family left, I have to kick you out now. I need to sleep, brat.”

She smiled up at him and stood up to leave. “Levi, thank you. For everything.”

He stopped at how familiar the thanks sounded. He swallowed thickly and forced the image of Erwin out of his head.

“You're welcome.”

#eremika #eremika fanfiction #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #eruri #erwin smith #fanfiction #mikasa #ackerman #eren #jaeger #levi #erwin

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nonbinarysasquatch · 6 years

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Josh Just Happens to Live Here!

When I was a kid I used to imagine my life was a TV show. Or rather that it was a TV show but secretly more interesting. I didn’t literally believe my life was a TV show. It was just a fantasy. And yeah, sometimes I imagined there were songs.

Of course in the imagined version of my life, my mom and I got away from my psychologically abusive grandfather and things were a bit sunnier and more exciting.

Eventually, my fantasies changed. I’m not really sure when. But I was always a very dramatic and weird kid. The primary difference between me and Rebecca Bunch is that I never cared for romance. It wasn’t something I really thought about much, not even as a teenager.

But I do know about obsession. And there are definitely aspects of adult Rebecca in this first episode that I uncomfortably relate to. I’ve also at times in my life been in denial about things that were going on with me and have never (even now) really taken the idea of getting help for my mental health as seriously as I should.

I think all of that factors into both why I find Rebecca Bunch relatable and why I feel a tad protective of her. Even when the show’s own creators call her an anti-hero I flinch because that’s not how I see her.

Oh, she’s going to do reprehensible things. She’s going to do things that if you had a friend who did those things and they told you that they did them you would be like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THAT’S NOT OK. I would never do anything of those things. But I understand her and I know she can do better.

The other characters?

Paula is definitely the standout in the first episode. For the record, I think Paula is a Ravenclaw. She has a thirst for knowledge that jumps out as soon as she’s introduced. Rebecca is a mystery to be solved. I think the single saddest moment in the episode is when Rebecca rhetorically asks Paula if she’s ever had a good day and Paula replies, with disbelief and disappointment on her own face, “No.”

Greg doesn’t come out so great in the first episode. Rachel Bloom recently commented that she’s been rewatching the series and she was struck by how gross it was that this guy is so interested in having sex with this woman who is very obviously not well. Greg hates himself nearly enough to sleep with this woman but only nearly. Once she starts actually crying I suppose he can’t tell himself it’s OK and he makes the right choice to take her home. It’s not a great start for these two. Rebecca is using him but in the moment she really needed someone to look out for her. Greg only just barely managed that.

Darryl’s role is pretty small. One of the joys of rewatching the show has been seeing how much Rebecca and Darryl really are the two most similar characters on the show. They are both kind of awkward and dramatic. They are both very lonely. They both have a lot to learn about themselves. In this episode, Darryl is mostly awkward and inappropriate. But a lot of other shows would’ve just ran with that characterization. They would’ve allowed him to continue to make awkward comments about Rebecca’s Jewishness or Jewish people in general but instead he’s called out for it. It’s a recurring trend this show will have of not allowing characters to just be gimmicks or running gags.

Josh... barely appears in this episode. And so its hard to get read on him, unless... you’ve seen the show a bunch of times. I think knowing things we learn about him later (like that he was dating Valencia before and after that summer in 2005, and seeing how willing he is to deceive Valencia) makes it easier to frown on what little we see of him here. But at the very least, we can cut him a little slack on the ease with which he breaks up with Rebecca RIGHT before they both leave summer camp because he was still a kid.

I’ve thought a lot about Josh being in New York. I think given his later characterization I REALLY don’t understand why he was in New York. Sure, Rachel has said he was working at the Javits Center but why was in New York City in the first place. Dude normally lives a less than half hour drive from Los Angeles. If he wanted to make it big he could just go there! But Josh Chan, who we learn really isn’t ambitious somehow got the ambition to travel to NYC to make it big. Sure, it’s probably just a narrative convenience. They needed Rebecca to bump into him and maybe just having him be visiting NYC or something was one coincidence too far.

My theory is that Josh wanted to be away from Valencia and that maybe this is a pattern he’s had for the entire 15 years they’ve been together. He’s probably not even consciously aware of it. Just as Rebecca moved across the country to be near a man without fully realising that’s what she was doing, Josh moved across the country to get away from a woman without fully realising that was what he was doing.

The songs:

1. West Covina: Still one of the show’s best. It’s always surprising how deep into the episode it is before we get the first song. I’ve seen some other musical television shows and... never really been impressed with the quality of the songs. As soon as Rebecca came around the corner and threw her jacket off I was immediately swept away.

2. The Sexy Getting Ready Song: Important song that not only makes the show’s feminism clear but also makes it clear that the songs aren’t just going to be traditional musical numbers. This one is obviously more in line with Rachel Bloom’s older music videos (which is trend that carries through in season 1 but not really as much in seasons 2 and 3.)

3. West Covina (Reprise): Rebecca and Paula is the true love story of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Here they are singing about Josh but this moment isn’t about Josh. It’s about them. It’s the beginning of their friendship.

Episode rating: 8.0 out of 10.0

It’s a solid start but like a lot of shows there were still some elements that needed refining.

#crazy ex girlfriend #Josh Just Happens to Live Here!#wow this ended up way longer than expected

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cynthiajayusa · 6 years

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Kelly Clarkson Talks Artistic Liberation, Confronting Anti-LGBT Parents

During her 15-year career as your friendly pop spirit-lifter, Kelly Clarkson has prescribed a cheap alternative to therapy: anthemic pick-me-ups like “Since U Been Gone” and “People Like Us,” songs that impel a transcendental, fist-raised state.

Late-night Facebook Live sessions are also her thing, and recently, the American Idol alum geeked out like she’d just won “Idol” all over again about her soulful rebirth, Meaning of Life, released on her new label, Atlantic Records. It was just Clarkson chillin’ on the couch with a glass of red wine that was much deserved, considering the artistic sacrifices she had to make post-“Idol,” when she felt creatively stagnate as a Top 40 machine for RCA Records. But aside from a fat glass of red, Clarkson has other strong urges too.

Due, in part, to her simply being so damn cool, Clarkson – who drowned the world in their own tears right along with her own as she was crowned the inaugural “Idol” winner in 2002 – tells me she feels so compelled to stick up for her LGBT besties she literally wants to go door-to-door and talk some sense into her friends’ homophobic parents.

Because her friends ask her not to, she doesn’t. But here, with the ever-outspoken and now-artistically-liberated Clarkson leaving almost no opinion unturned, the Texas native makes that point loud and clear. Before getting back to being a mom to River Rose, 3, and Remington Alexander, 1, as well as husband Brandon Blackstock’s kids Seth and Savannah from a previous relationship, Clarkson spoke like one. Even her simple “diva” request – a “pretty dress to sing in” – is enough to make you wish you were on that couch with her and a bottle of Pinot.

Mariah, P!NK, Kesha – so many female artists have gone through the creative struggles you have.

Oh, every artist. It’s so not unique in any way.

How good does it feel to finally be yourself artistically?

It just feels freeing to make an entire project and, in its entirety, I’m 100 percent excited about it. There wasn’t any compromise. It’s how I feel the creative industry should feel. There’s nothing like working on something you’re so proud of.

Please tell me you at least got a little sloppy at a gay club to celebrate the end of your contract with RCA.

(Laughs) Brother, I got four kids and a career, I ain’t got time to go to clubs! I’m rockin’ a 1-, 3-, 10- and 16 year-old, man. You know what club I go to? The club of playing board games with my family…which, actually, I love.

Plus, you have your farm just outside Nashville. You’ve got chickens to raise!

We’ve got our chickens, our honeybees, and our orchard. We love our farm.

Have you sent RCA Records head Clive Davis a copy of the album?

(Laughs) Be like, “This is what I was wanting to do this whole time!” Yeah, no. (Laughs) You know what’s so sad: I was so excited to work with him. You have no idea. He worked with so many of my favorites: Janis (Joplin), and he worked with Bruce Springsteen way back in the day. All these artists who were very innovative in their time, and I was so excited. That’s been one of the saddest points for me in this industry – just figuring out that someone I really look up to just was not what they seemed. That was a pretty big blow. I was pretty sad about that. Like, we don’t always need to meet our heroes.

In some ways, your story of artistic suppression is relatable to the LGBT community. As an ally, do you recognize that affinity?

Talking with my gay or lesbian friends over the years, I can’t imagine. I’ve always said I can’t imagine not being able to be myself in and out. And, yes, while I can relate a bit musically to feeling like you’re going over massive hurdles to try and get to a compromise that you’re happy with, that’s nothing in comparison to hearing my friends talk about (being gay), especially in the South where I grew up, and then the faith thing comes into play.

I had one friend wait, and this is the saddest thing ever: I don’t think she ever felt comfortable in her skin because her parents were older. So, they passed away and then she finally felt free. I thought, “What a horrible feeling to have to wait until people aren’t around to be yourself.” I could never ever relate to that. I feel horrible that anybody has to go through that. It’s almost like when people ask me about other artists who have all these shticks about them and I’m like, “Oh God that would weigh on me if I had to keep that up, if I had to keep doing shit to make everyone happy.”

Walking onto the stage in, like, a pretty dress to sing, that’s really the extent of my diva, or just my experience on the stage. I’ve always just been very simple. Even in situations, musically, where I really had to fight or jump through hoops, I still was able to be myself, which I think people didn’t like because I was very open. But I have to do that. I have to express myself. Literally, I would go in such a downward spiral of depression if I weren’t able to, and that’s why, honestly, a lot of friends, especially who are gay and lesbian, felt that way. I pray to God my children never have to feel that, that people around me don’t have to feel that. I always hope that I’m always the one person going, “If they’re upset about it, screw it. It’s your life. You can’t “not” be you. You can’t suffer just because you’re trying to make somebody else happy. That’s not a life.”

That sounds exactly like something Kelly Clarkson would say. And I wonder, as someone who has this large, far-reaching platform, what does it mean to you to be an LGBT ally, and when did you know you had the power to be one?

I always laugh at the concept that people are like, “We just love what you say; that’s why we love you,” and I’m like, “Why is everyone not like that?” That’s what boggles my mind. Why would you not say what you want to say?

(In our last interview you) asked me if my daughter or son, or any of the four, ended up being gay, how would I take that, and I’d be like, “Awesome!” Honestly, in a world that is so hateful sometimes, I don’t care where my kids find love. Hopefully with a loving and respectful and kind person, but I don’t care if they’re a boy or a girl. It just doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to me.

I do want my children to fall in love with people who are loving, but I feel like our priorities are silly-ass backwards. Like, I want to go to my friends’ parents who just don’t want to talk about it. They know, but are like, “We just can’t talk about it,” which is so demeaning to their (children’s) existence. And I want to knock on their door – I don’t, because (my friends) ask me not to (laughs) – and be like, “Do you know you’re missing out on an exceptional human because you can’t get past your own ignorance? It’s just silly to me that you want to miss out.” I want to tell them, “I didn’t have a dad and it had nothing to do with me being gay – it had to do with, he was a shitty guy. And you have the opportunity now to not be that parent and embrace your child. That’s your DNA. You love your children. What’s wrong with you?” It just makes me so mad, more so than anything.

This past June, you helped two gay fans get engaged during one of your meet-and-greets.

Oh my gosh, it was exciting. But I was nervous! Like, what if he was gonna say no?! (Laughs)

How would you live that down?

Literally, before I was like, “Wait. I do not want to be put in this situation where this guy might say no. Are you sure he’s gonna say yes?” And he goes, “Well, I hope so!” He was nervous. I probably didn’t help any. (Laughs)

Do you hope gay couples just start routinely getting engaged in front of you?

I was like, “I need to get ordained!”

For the sake of gay couples everywhere, why are you not?

I don’t know if that would be authenticated! I don’t know if people would question that! One of our friends – my husband also manages Blake Shelton – was like, “I wanna marry y’all” and I was like, “I want it to be, like, credible. You don’t actually have a following, or a church!

I have a feeling people would go to the Church of KC.

Oh, Lord, that would be a funny church.

So, as much as I love talking about music, it’s hard not to acknowledge the screwy state of the world during interviews these days.

Yeah, everything is obviously impacted by it.

How are you? I know you’ve always stood up for what you believe in, but in this politically divisive climate, do you feel an even greater responsibility to stand up for the things that are important to you?

The hard thing for me, specifically: I always hate when people bring up, “Oh, you’re a celebrity, you shouldn’t have an opinion.” The hard thing in that for me is, I’m not just that. I’m a mother, I’m a daughter, I’m a woman. And it took a long time and a lot of women to pioneer that way for me, to even have a voice. So, for me to not use that is so disrespectful to those before me who worked so hard for it. For me to not take advantage of that seems like a cruel irony.

Why would I not voice my opinion as a mother? Why can’t I say this is a really hard time to have a 10- and 16-year-old, guys? Because I don’t know what to tell them when they hear certain things on TV. They’re smart enough to know what’s going on. I can’t hide them from that. So, it’s a very hard time to explain things away. It’s a very hard time to have the discussion about any kind of bigotry or racism or elitism. It’s a very hard time because a lot of things are happening that are making crazy, insane, irrational moments normal, and it’s a very hard time to raise kids in that environment. Forget me even being a celebrity. As a mother – just as a mother – it’s a very hard time.

I’m glad, at least, that everything is all coming to the forefront because it’s now pointing out – like, I had no idea we had white supremacists. I have never come across people like that. Not even as a child in a small town in the South, and even then, that town has blossomed and they’re more progressive now.

It’s 2017 – why are we still having these conversations? But we’re having them because they do exist, and it’s insane. It’s insane that somebody just doesn’t go, “Oh, I’m sorry, but yeah, we don’t want that here. You should go somewhere else. This is a country of many cultures, many faiths, and open-mindedness. That is why people came here.” It’s amazing to me that we just don’t have grown-ass men and women in the public eye of politics going, “Absolutely not. I’m not even having this conversation because that’s not even OK. There’s no way to validate what just happened.”

Reflecting on all your work for RCA: Which album are you most and least proud of?

The album I’m most proud of in that whole section is the Christmas album (2013’s Wrapped in Red), and that’s just because it was 100 percent me. It was Christmas and it was OK for me to make decisions (laughs). They let (producer) Greg (Kurstin) and I do whatever we wanted, so it was a lot easier to accomplish my goal with that album.

My least favorite? Man, I mean, maybe my least favorite was my first one (2003’s Thankful). I just say that because of the experience. I was very young and very excited about making a record. It was my first time doing all of that, and it was also my first time realizing, “This is gonna be really hard because there are so many cooks in the kitchen and they don’t care that you’re not allowed to be one.” It was my first experience in the industry going, “Oh, wait, this isn’t what I thought it was gonna be like.” So my ignorance led to that and me being young and excited, I guess. Not that I don’t love the album – it’s just that I didn’t love finding that out.

Do you ever get tired of singing your first single, 2002’s “A Moment Like This”?

I never sing it! Because the song wasn’t meant for me – it was meant for the winner. I never would’ve been like, “This is a great record” (laughs). I get the moment it was for. That was the perfect song for that moment. I totally address that, but that song doesn’t fit in my tour setlist.

It still takes me back every time I hear it.

Totally. The nostalgia. For me too. It was a beautiful moment. I’m very thankful and blessed for it. But it wasn’t a song that was meant for me. They just wrote it for whomever was gonna win, so that doesn’t make me feel special. (Laughs)

With Meaning of Life, your hair on the album cover is giving me some serious Mariah vibes.

That Drew Barrymore-to-the-side-’90s vibe, yeah – it’s completely calculated. (Laughs) I literally was like, “I want the hair for this album to be talking to God.” It fits with the record. It’s so sassy and confident and diva in the best sense, and so I really wanted that ’90s hair. All my inspiration photos were of ’90s hair. Whether it’s the artwork or the music, everything on this album is influenced by the ’90s, which was my favorite time in music.

From “Since U Been Gone” on through “People Like Us” and “I Have a Dream,” your anthems have been empowering to LGBT people. What song on this album do you hope becomes the next big gay anthem?

It’s always my gay boys who come up and go, “Oh my god, I love ‘Whole Lotta Woman.’” And it’s so funny, because I’m like, that is so ironic and amazing! (Laughs)

Based solely on the track’s name, not even the fact that it’s a celebratory anthem, you can’t possibly be that surprised.

(Laughs) Honestly, I didn’t think about it! But then we performed it impromptu at the “Today” show just for the audience there in New York – not for the televised show, just for the audience – and it was so funny because all the gay boys were dancing more than anyone, even more than the women! It was so fun. It’s such a fun audience that just loves sass and confidence, and I just love being surrounded by an audience with that kind of energy.

That song definitely shut downs, once and for all, your social-media shamers. What advice do you have for LGBT people who experience the bullying that you’ve experienced?

We have a 16-year-old girl and a grown-ass woman was being horrible to her. She was just being hateful and passive-aggressive online and I had to be real with (my daughter). I said, “This is gonna happen so often, so this would be a good time to learn to take the high road. Block them or whatever you want to do to not see it, if you don’t want to see it.”

Bullying is gonna happen, so we tell our kids, “That’s gonna happen. I can’t protect you from that. There’s nothing we can do about that. There are no bullying cops.” It’s an epidemic that’s horrible and it needs to be addressed, but at the same time, when you have kids coming to you, I just have to teach her to rise above it.

It’s one of those things I always describe to fans, too, in meet-and-greets because they always ask, “How are you so confident?” It’s because, at the end of the day, I really don’t care about anyone’s opinion but mine and the people I know who love me and really do want the best for me. You can’t base your entire existence and every decision off how people are gonna feel about it. That’s a giant check list; there’s a lot of us. (Laughs) So, just be happy with your decisions, and sometimes know you’re gonna be successful and sometimes you’re gonna fail. And whatever. At least you were steering your ship.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/11/30/kelly-clarkson-talks-artistic-liberation-confronting-anti-lgbt-parents/ from Hot Spots Magazine http://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2017/11/kelly-clarkson-talks-artistic.html

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kultaxjaeyoung · 7 years

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All the crystals

Rude. As. Fuck.

abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally

Death especially, since she still isn’t over her own mother’s passing. She still wakes up some mornings, or has moments where she’ll grab her phone, searching for her mother’s number or will start a conversation and wait for an answer. It’s definitely the one thing she hasn’t completely grasped.

aegerine: my muse's opinion of the supernatural

She believes in it fairly firmly. There’s moments she still tries to be skeptical of it, but she’s had her own moments that she definitely attributes to spirits and things like that.

agate: how my muse calms down

That’s a tough one. Pretty much just time. She has to exhaust herself in some way, but she can still get her mind wound back up again easily. She takes a lot to heart, and can be a dramatic person without intention.

blue lace agate: my muse's favorite form of communication (verbal, letters, texting, etc.)

Text or verbal. She absolutely hates phone calls, because it feels like this inbetween thing. So if it’s really important, and it’s not a life or death emergency that absolutely cannot wait, she either wants to be told face to face or completely non-directly.

fire agate: if my muse is brave or cowardly

Jae is somewhere in between. She can have a lot of courage when it’s a spur of the moment, but then she gets really scared of what she’s done. In a way, she’d rather just take things until it builds up to the absolute highest boiling point, because she’s not a confrontational person. She’s a shitton of talk, though.

moss agate: if my muse has a high or low opinion of themself

Incredibly low. She sees herself in high regards in some areas, but she still has an overall low view of herself.

amazonite: what kind of situations call for my muse to be dishonest

When she wants to hide things. She can hide a lot, but then there’s also a lot she just can’t hide. Mostly when it comes to her own self-destruction, she’s up there with the best on hiding it simply because she doesn’t want to be scolded for something she knows she’s going to do again, and again, and again.

amethyst: what my muse would most like to be able to shape-shift into

If she had her say, it would probably be a bird of some sort, just so she could run away on a whim. Probably a colorful parrot, that’s loud and obnoxious.

ammolite: how lucky or unlucky my use is

It��s all on how you look at it. She sees herself as pretty lucky, because she’s survived shit that should have killed her, has literally been minutes from death, and now she has a job that’s given her a steady life so she can raise her rather smart son with a family that she barely knows backing her every move towards 100% stability. However, she seems to have shit luck when it comes to any sort of relationships, romantic or platonic.

angel aura quartz: my muse's opinion of LGBT+ issues

She’s all for equal everything. Her belief in regards to everything is that if it doesn’t advocate the harm or killing of people or creatures, then do whatever. If it makes you feel good, or it’s who you are, then so be it.

apache tears: a sadness headcanon

Those ASPCA commercials or the commercials for different children’s hospitals. They always make her tear up.

apatite: a headcanon about my muse's intuition

Her intuition sucks. Almost everything she’s had a ‘great’ feeling about has turned around and burned her. Yet she still tries to follow it.

apophyllite: my muse's religious/spiritual beliefs

She honestly doesn’t know anymore. She was raised somewhat religious, because her mother was, but she definitely grew angry at God when her mom got sick, and violently so when she passed. Lately, though, she’s found some weird comfort in it being around her, which unsettles her in a way because it had been so long since she had been comfortable with the topic of believing.

aquamarine: where my muse feels most calm/relaxed

That’s a tough one, because she doesn’t relax that well on her own. She does her best to always keep a guard up.

biotite: the biggest problems my muse is currently dealing with

Her depression, and slipping back into heavy drinking.

bloodstone: how my muse sees themself as part of the world at large

Nothing. She doesn’t see herself as anything significant to anyone, and it wouldn’t matter if she was around or not.

calcite: my muse's social tendencies (introverted vs extroverted, parties vs one-on-one conversations, etc.)

She’s definitely a party creature, but she also enjoys one-on-ones because the conversations tend to be more stimulating than a room full of most likely drunk people getting excited over the next song to come on.

carnelian: an art-related headcanon

She’s been trying to draw a suitable chest piece for herself lately, but she’s hated every drawing. She’s also better at music than she’ll admit to, down to even knowing how to basically get around a studio.

celestite: how my muse deals with anxiety

The past week or so, it’s been drinking, which was her usual. But, she’s trying other things such as meditation and just sitting outside for a while. Then there’s also weed, which actually was prescribed for her anxiety.

chalcedony: the saddest my muse has ever been

The day her mother was cremated, because it was an end in a way, but also her husband wasn’t beside her supporting her. Instead, he was off doing whatever and pretty much just told her it’s a part of life and deal with it.

chalcopyrite: how my muse deals with ending relationships

She tries to be honest, especially if she’s not feeling anything deeper than lust and appreciation for attention. She honestly hasn’t been in many, though, and the other two she was in ended horribly.

charoite: who my muse looks up to

She honestly looks up to James. He comes off seeming much more put together than she is, even though he probably isn’t, but she wishes she could put off that impression. She also strongly looks up to her mother as well, because her mother did everything necessary to make sure that Jae never suffered growing up. In a way, she sees a little bit of her mother’s attitude in James.

chrysocolla: a money-making headcanon

Her job right now. It’s helped her get a damn good apartment, helped her keep a car she adores, and even after bills, she still has enough for her and Aleksi to live very comfortably without even a hint of struggle. Jae doesn’t aspire to be rich, and she feels insanely lucky that she has the job she has.

copper: how I think my muse will end up when they're older

Honestly, I think she’ll get more bitter. As I said before, she takes a lot more to heart than she really should, and she allows it to form scales that she tries to harden. It makes her try to be skeptical of people, and so I just see her as being one of those bitter people with a lot of regrets.

coral: how my muse views the natural world

She finds the natural world absolutely amazing. She almost obsessed with having access to outdoors, and almost regrets that she lives in a city that’s crowded and packed with people without a hint of forests or something.

diamond: a sex headcanon

Unless she has absolutely been worn out to the point of passing out, it’s pretty much a guarantee that she’s going to grab her panties and put them back on.

dolomite: a sleep headcanon

She constantly wakes up during the night, and she shifts positions like a million times before finally passing out.

emerald: how my muse tells someone they love them without words

She suddenly has a lot of patience and will do almost anything to be at their side.

fluorite: what my muse's room looks like

There’s a desk in the corner, a bed against the windows, and clothes all in the floor in front of the dresser by the door.

fossil: what my muse's dream job is

Recently discovered, but she’s pretty sure her dream job is to be a band manager.

galena: what it's like to be in a relationship with my muse

A lot of secrets. It doesn’t matter if you’re her boyfriend, husband, or bestfriend. If it’s something she knows she’ll get a serious scolding for, she’s going to hide it. She also can’t bring herself to be open about what goes on in her head, so it always takes prodding to get it out. More than just ‘what’s up’ or ‘how are you’. In a way, it’s because she wants proof that the other is sincere about her, but she also just tucks things away in order to keep moving forward. She’s also very much into sex, and while it’s not this top priority, at some point she’s going to definitely start expecting it. It’s important to her, though she’s not sure if she would end a relationship if all that was lacking was sex. Also, she’s a brat. Not a spoiled brat, but a brat.

garnet: what my muse's perfect partner would be

Someone who sees her for who she is, and doesn’t find it essential to show her off like a diamond or something. Someone who takes their relationship seriously enough and understand that being in a relationship isn’t just a ‘friends with benefits and a fancy title’. And someone who can be patient and handle her, because she’s a lot. She just is.

gold: my muse's financial situation

It’s comfortable. She isn’t struggling for food or to pay the bills, and has enough left over to still do awesome extra things.

hematite: how squeamish my muse is

She’s not very squeamish until it comes to surgery, stitches, staples, and things like that. She can handle a guy puking on himself, but not someone getting a small wound sewn shut.

hiddenite: how much of an "inner child" my muse has

I wanna say she’s childlike all the way around, so her inner child is rather strong.

iolite: my muse's drinking habits

Better than they used to be, but it’s going downhill again.

jade: if my muse would ever cheat on a partner

If the relationship was entirely on good terms, and she didn’t feel neglected, no way in hell would she cheat.

jasper: what my muse would be like as a parent

She’s far from mom of the year, but she does her best to give Aleksi everything, and is even trying to plan on making sure she keeps giving him everything from the best schools, to a house he can grow up in when he starts school, to keeping his mind as open as possible. She does the best she can, and it never feels tiring.

kyanite: an anger headcanon

Smashing. She smashes whatever is closest to her, or whatever she’s pissed off at. Whichever is accessible.

lapis lazuli: where 'home' is to my muse

She doesn’t know anymore, because nowhere is comfortable anymore. Familiar, but nothing’s comfortable enough to call home.

lodestone: what kind of people gravitate towards my muse

Hell if I know. She’s been friends with all kinds of people.

malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew up

She never knew. She wasn’t one of those kids that knew what she wanted to be or had a goal like that. Nothing just ever appealed to her like that.

mica: what my muse views as their worst personality trait

Her mouth, because it tends to go off before she can even think of the words.

moonstone: my muse's opinions on outer space

She thinks it’s one of those things that people never seem to look at in the right way. Everyone seems to focus on being among it, or going to it when in reality we already are all of that. So we should just admire the view that we have, and adore it.

mother of pearl: if my muse tends to lift people up or bring them down

She tries to life them up, but she feels more like she brings them down ultimately.

nebula stone: how good my muse's memory is

Her memory is not that great. It’s very selective, honestly.

obsidian: which of the seven deadly sins my muse would be

Lust, because she always wants.

opal: how creative my muse is

She can come up great ideas and stories, but she never actually puts anything into action.

pearl: a mental health headcanon

Her deep depression that feels like a losing battle.

petalite: what my muse would do if they found a wallet on the street

She’d honestly just leave it.

pyrite: a physical health headcanon

Her immune system is better now than when she was a kid, but she still gets minor illnesses almost constantly.

quartz: how my muse thinks other people see them

As an obnoxious child they feel the need to babysit because she doesn’t take even decent care of herself.

rhodonite: if my muse prefers elegance or convenience

Convenience. Fuck the frills.

rubellite: if my muse has any 'triggers' that inspire painful memories

Funerals.

ruby: a happiness headcanon

When she got Aleksi back for good. She honestly had never been happier a single day in her life.

sapphire: if everyone my muse knew was hanging off a cliff and they could only choose three to save, the rest certainly dying, who they would choose

Aleksi, James, and her grandmother.

serpentine: how my muse would seduce another [alt: how my muse makes their money]

Uhm...She’d basically offer a lapdance or sex. She’s not very good at flirting.

silver: if my muse prefers masculinity or femininity

For herself, she prefers femininity. In a partner, she prefers masculinity.

tsavorite: if my muse believes in destiny or fate

She wishes she didn’t.

ulexite: how empathetic/sympathetic/compassionate my muse is

She’s very sympathetic, she just has issues actually reaching out to people and making that known. She’s afraid of everyone, honestly, and it overrides the urge to reach out.

unakite: what my muse's ideal pet would be

Thor and Bragi.

verdite: my muse's ethnicity/family history

She’s Korean on her mother’s side. On her father’s side, she Hungarian/Russian/Finnish.

zebra stone: what gets my muse excited

Attention and her son.

zoisite: does my muse believe everything's going to work out for them in the end or not?

Not everything. She doesn’t believe everything will work out, and it’s starting to cause her to give up on a lot of things and fuel her depression.

#boujeelowlife

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