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marvelousmop · 6 months

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The Mystery of John Burr the Chestnut Man

The Land of Oz is a series with many an obscure characters - most people could probably tell you about Dorothy, the Tin-Man, the Lion, and the Scarecrow, but how many know of Ozma? Or Tik-Tok? What of Professor H.M. Wogglebug T.E.? And that's just scratching the surface, considering there are so many books (around 40 considered "Canonical"), and then beyond that there are characters who pop up in works connected to Oz... and then there's the case of John Burr the Chestnut Man. Who the Hell is he?

Well, first, some context:

In the year 1900, L. Frank Baum published The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, complete with illustrations from W.W. Denslow. Due to their collaborative efforts on the book, it was agreed that both men should have the rights to the characters and various elements within the first book. This arrangement may sound a bit unusual, but really it should be fine as long as Denslow and Baum don't have some sort of falling out.

Guess what happened in 1902 while they were working on the Wizard of Oz Stage Musical?

So, Denslow and Baum went their separate ways, with Baum going on to write "The Marvelous Land of Oz", while Denslow continued illustrating for books such as "The Pearl and the Pumpkin". He also worked on a small book called "Denslow's Scarecrow and the Tin-Man", featuring a short story about the duo getting into some hijinx after deciding they were tired of working endlessly on the Wizard of Oz stage show - I'm sure he wasn't working through anything there.

Around the time Marvelous Land got published, he also worked on a newspaper series called "Queer Visitors from the Marvelous Land of Oz" which served both to promote the sequel and increase the reach of the Oz brand. It's also one of the few remaining artefacts of a time when Baum really wanted Professor Wogglebug to be the mascot of the Oz series, but that's a discussion for another time.

Denslow sees this and thinks "Well, I'll show him! I'll make my own newspaper series!" and so we got Denslow’s Scarecrow and the Tin-Man (yes he used the same name as he did for the book - he also split that book into two halves and published them in the newspaper series, so that’s confusing). Unlike Baum's strip, this series mainly stuck to the events of the 1902 stage musical, so Dorothy never left Oz and is also referred to as Dorothy Gale (a name Baum wouldn't use in prose until Ozma of Oz) or Dotty (her show-exclusive nickname). The first story also makes reference to a Good Witch covering the poppy field with snow, which didn't happen in the book but did happen in the musical. Other than this though, they keep references deliberately vague - no mention is made of King Pastoria II, Cynthia Synch, or Dorothy’s pet cow, Imogene (who replaces Toto in the stage musical - similarly, this series makes no reference to Toto). It’s interesting to see an Oz-related work be influenced by a very popular adaptation other than the MGM movie.

Okay, but who is John Burr the Chestnut Man?

John Burr is introduced in the second story in the Scarecrow and Tin-Man series, and immediately he raises questions. Apparently, he's the Fairy Godfather of the Scarecrow (which possibly links him to the Scarecrow's 1902 musical origin wherein he comes to life because Dorothy wished for a friend, but this isn't made explicit) and possibly the Tin-Man. It's not clear. The Scarecrow and the Tin-Man are joined at the hip for most of this series though, so it hardly matters. In his first appearance, he transports the Scarecrow, Tin-Man, and the Cowardly Lion down to Earth, making him one of the most powerful characters in the series at this point.

Later in the series, he hands the Scarecrow and the Tin-Man "Magic Passes" because nobody will tell these poor guys how money works, so they just keep stealing things (relatedly, the Scarecrow and the Tin-Man book I mentioned earlier where they're performing in the musical mentions that the two just aren't paid for their work... again, I'm sure Denslow wasn't working through anything there)... and that's it. That's all we know of him. He enters the narrative, fulfils this oddly powerful role for someone who isn't even hinted at in anything prior and is then forgotten about entirely.

Also, he sells chestnuts, that's why he's the chestnut man.

[Honestly, the funniest thing about this whole situation to me is that Denslow's Scarecrow and the Tin-Man series is just significantly better than Queer Visitors from the Marvelous Land of Oz - better art and the writing is just very charming - both are probably equally racist though, so be warned if you want to seek these out].

#Land of Oz #w w denslow #John Burr the Chestnut Man #l frank baum #mop's inane ramblings #the wizard of oz

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larsisfrommars · 5 days

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Wild Wild Reviews

The Night of The Inferno

Overall Score:

Story: 3/5

Dame: 4/5

Villain: 2/5

Gadgets: 5/5

Disguises: 2.5/5

Bonus Points: Gay Subtext: 1/5

The Yikes Dated Factor: -3/-5

Score: 14.5/25 (58%)

Tier: D

FULL REVIEW UNDER CUT

The Story

It’s a pretty straight forward plot that introduces most of the core elements of the show fairly well. We’ve got our inflable and courageous James West, our over the top villains, our femme fatale and our gadgets but it feels as though the story is missing a limb. That limb of course is Artemus Gordon. Yes Ross Martin is there playing counterpart to Robert Conrad but he doesn’t really seem like the Artie we know and love yet. He’s less intelligent marvels at inventions that given the later context of the show he could’ve (and probably did) build himself, and lets Jim do the detective work. His disguises aren’t a big focus, and he’s noticeably more of a coward than he is later on. Luckily they fix all this almost immediately but between this and the casual early 60s racism this episode suffers a bit.

The Dame

Our woman of the week is Suzanne Pleshette!

Most of us young’uns know her as the witch Yubaba from Spirited Away and/or Zira from Lion King 2. However she was a very accomplished TV actress before that! I think she does a fantastic job as Lydia Monteran!

She and Jim have history which is always a fun gimmick, and certainly way more fleshed out than the parade of other women in this series. She’s got her own illegal business and lots of personality, a classic femme fatale. She just doesn’t have a lot in the way of complex/personal motivations and doesn’t really affect the plot with her direct actions, which is why she isn’t a perfect score.

The Villain

Our villains of the week are Nehemiah Persoff and Victor Buono!

Now I don’t know Persoff from anything other than Papa from American Tail. His character bordered on caricature/hammy but I am honestly shocked to say that he was WAY more entertaining to watch than Victor Buono of all people?! He was very animated and had a lot of fun lines. Meanwhile Buono (who I know as the unhinged King Tut from Batman) was both chronically underutilized and the crux of the more dated and problematic aspects of this installation of the series. Generally though these villains lacked the camp and ridiculous plans/motivations that I love the series for. So I’d say they’re a little subpar overall

The Gadgets

The gadgets were PHENOMENAL in this episode. If it has a real saving grace it’s the gizmos, a cornerstone of what makes this show work. We get an introduction to The Wanderer, West’s notorious toolbox boot heels, and a really fun Chekhov’s Gun scenario with the self-defense measures built into the billiards table! Excellent visuals and gimmicks that will carry on throughout the series.

The Disguises

The disguises were… eh. Which makes sense for the pilot but also it’s a shame, considering just how much it becomes an integral part of Ross Martin’s multi-faceted performance as Artemus Gordon. We get him as some sorta grave robber/carpet bagger that seems to exclusively exist to be silly at Jim’s expense, and a brief appearance as a Mexican beggar. Only one really makes sense for the story and we see it for all of two seconds.

The Gay Subtext

(Don’t ship it? Skip it!)

So long as Artemus and Jim are in an episode together the Gay score will never be 0. That being said they haven’t established a rapport, or even Artemus as a solid character yet. So is absolutely bottom rung for subtext in a given episode to me. Artemus frets over Jim a little and musters up his courage in spooky environs but that’s about it.

The Yikes Dated Factor

I’m giving this a solid -3 because yes there are more sexist/racist episodes than this but there are also LESS racist/sexist episodes of this show than this one. The only reason this doesn’t get a worse score for the yellow face is because it was part of the villain’s ploy, so they technically didn’t have a white man playing a Chinese guy. It was a white guy pretending to be Mexican pretending to be Chinese, which is almost funny, almost. But then, we got a couple white guys playing Mexicans which (there are plenty of people in the Latine diaspora who are white.) still runs into caricature and colorism issues. The baddies are all foreigners sometimes pretending to be different foreigners with some casual orientalism. But hey! At least the Spanish wasn’t gibberish!

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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year

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tagged by @ravenkings--thanks much!!!

nickname: Caro-- used to be strictly called Caroline, but I liked the idea of a nickname and started to tell people it would be fine for them to call me Caro, and organically people online sorta picked it up. I now have a few friends and relatives who exclusively call me Caro, some who switch between Caroline and Caro, some exclusive Carolines... And I am literally just Caro at work. Not Caroline at all.

sign: sagittarius

height: 5′7

last thing i googled: lego Titanic set (don't ask)

song stuck in my head: hildegard von blingin's "I Need A Hero" cover

number of followers: 3,026

amount of sleep: usually 6ish hours, maybe 7 if I'm lucky

lucky number: 7, 22

dream job: successful romance novelist

wearing: burgundy sweater dress with a belt, docs, hoop earrings

movies/books that summarize me:

books: wuthering heights by emily bronte, dreaming of you by lisa kleypas, lothaire by kresley cole, the mediator by meg cabot, waking up with the duke by lorraine heath, the duke gets even by joanna shupe

movies: the godfather (1972), ibiza (2018), bridget jones's diary (2001), pride and prejudice (2005), the love witch (2016), the prince of egypt (1998), roman holiday (1953), the omen (1976), the lion king (1994)

favorite song: work song by hozier

favorite instrument: guitar

aesthetic: a bit 60s/70s, preeeetty dark femme all the time (only wear skirts and dresses, never wear flats due to a walking issue I have that makes reinforced heels the easiest option). never leave the house without makeup (not saying others should do that, it's just who I've been for many years). put together meets boho, I'd say? at the moment?

favorite author: lol fuck, depends on the day; maybe Elizabeth Hoyt? Joanna Shupe? but genuinely, DEPENDS.

favorite animal noise: wolves howling

random: I'm pretty into tattoos. I only have 10, technically--but they range in size from a little behind the ear guy I that's the width and not even the length of my thumb (will probs smudge out someday) to an in-progress single-piece semi-sleeve (my artist calls it a sleeve and I trust her, but it doesn't encompass the entire arm, just most of it, and the inner forearm of that arm already had a sizable piece it's going to accommodate). Though that is actually not my biggest piece, just my most detailed (I have a simpler piece encompassing the entire side of my thigh I'd like to have fleshed out some more someday). I have a "tit chandelier" piece (not a chandelier, it's very organic-looking) that covers the forward-facing part of my ribs and runs up between my boobs; second worst pain I've ever felt. Two of my pieces relate to my love of romance, if not super obviously. Most are what I'd call American illustrative, most are color, three are black linework. First three tattoos were impetuous, all the rest have been thought out with great artists I'm lucky enough to work with, save a lil charity benefit tattoo I got from someone I'd never be able to afford otherwise (actually a favorite, it's adorable). My dream is to write a historical romance featuring tattoos at least somewhat prominently. Ironically, ever since I started consciously choosing artists and planning work, I've never had a cis guy tattoo me, though that's not deliberate. Just kinda worked out that way, and it's interesting to me considering how the industry has historically been dominated by cis white men. Lucky enough to be able to squeeze in and work with some great people!

Tagging: @loisfreakinglane @saint-cecilias @bluetiefling @maxfieldparrishes @thewritersramblings @hptriviachamp @viscountessevie @archistratego

#me basically #sorry for the novel on tattoos i just never talk about them here and they're actually a decent-sized piece of my life lmao #like i'm v ROMANCE NOVEL FANDOM first on here but i.... don't think i've got more than a few months without getting tattooed for years

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tj-dragonblade · 1 year

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Tea and Books Asks

Tagged in by @littledreamling , @mathomhouse-e , and @quillingwords thank you!

1. What period of history do you enjoy learning about?

As long as it's not the fucking founding of America and drafting of the constitution, again, we're golden

2. Who is your favourite fictional character and why?

Of all time? Impossible. Current fandom specifically? ...uh. Kind of also impossible. But I think if pressed Hob might just barely edge out Dream in the standings. Because? Because...his vibes? Immortal Everyman who's not all woe-is-me this-life-is-misery is a delight and idk he's just got that je ne sais quoi that makes me smile and say 'That one, that's my favorite'?

3. What do you order at a café?

It's a rare occurrence but. Some sort of coffee, extra sweet, extra whichever flavor added. Caramel and pumpkin spice are both excellent

4. Libraries, botanical gardens, or art galleries?

Of the three, I've only ever been to libraries, so, that

5. Do you have a favourite film soundtrack?

Beauty and the Beast 1991 probably. The score tracks on that just. Do things to me. Fond of a lot of Hans Zimmer's work as well (Lion King, PotC off the top of my head) and I keep circling back around to the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves soundtrack every few years

6. What does your dream home look like?

Underwater. With bits above water too, maybe half and half, but the important things I've always wanted are submarine airlock entryways and enormous windows with an underwater view. Not too far from civilization either

7. What makes you feel better on gloomy days?

Long solo drives with good music played loud

8. What are your top three films? Books?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home; The Princess Bride; Beauty and the Beast

I've read fanfic almost exclusively the past twenty years but, let me think...I was very taken with the Shannara series by Terry Brooks in high school; I spent some time on the Vampire Chronicles after that and The Vampire Armand was my favorite (because Armand was my favorite more than because it was actually a good book)

9. Are you an organized person, generally?

...Ish. I dislike clutter and mess, but I wouldn't really classify myself as 'organized' by any standard measure of the word

10. Do you have a favourite classic novel?

...I am extremely fond of Alice in Wonderland and Wizard of Oz both but more for their permutation into pop culture and malleability therein than for their actual books specifically

11. What character archetype or trope is your favourite?

I have a laundry list, and they're generally best when multiple tropes are blended in one character. But maybe...let's go with The Foreigner, The Outsider, the one who often holds up a lens to humanity or whatever majority/default group is involved to offer commentary, try to understand, and who is perpetually Apart from them, usually unable (or unwilling) to quite blend in or assimilate completely even when they may be welcomed and accepted.

12. Do you prefer baking or cooking?

...give me a relatively simple recipe with clear instructions and I'll probably be okay, in either arena

13. Which season do you feel at home in?

In my current climate? Summer. Summer means I can get out and go places and do things. I love autumn in theory but in practice it's far too short, far too cold too quickly, and just a very depressing reminder of the half-a-year of winter that will follow

14. What is your opinion on poetry?

It should absolutely exist, integral facet of humanity, etc. Not really anything I actively seek out, however

15. Do you speak formally when texting and emailing?

Emails are nearly always business related whether home or work, so yes. Texts are not exactly formal but it's rare that I'd ever fail to capitalize, use copious abbreviations, etc. Punctuation droppage depends entirely on who I'm talking to and whether I need the clarity punctuation can provide

16. How do you organize your music playlists?

Haaaaaah. Let me count the ways:

- by artist, when I want The Good Tracks from their discography (and related projects) in chronological order

- by genre

- by pairing - many pairs have multiple permutations of their playlist also

- by character

- by character group

- by theme (e.g. Moon, Aquatic, etc)

- by mood

- by fic inspiration/writing soundtrack

- I have playlists for Disney movies where I put the songs and score pieces back in movie order since the soundtracks always group them separately and I also leave out the shitty radio versions of the songs

- I also have a playlist with all my individual Disney playlists combined in chronological order by movie release date

- by vibes

- by which family member I'm driving with

- I have a playlist for stuff that's in (or contains sections that are in) 3/4, 6/8, and various other non-4/4 time signatures

- I have a couple different playlists of favorite voices

- there's a giant playlist where I dump all the stuff I've rated 4 or 5 stars (some 3s may also get included), sorted by play count, for when I don't know quite what I'm really in the mood to listen to

- aaaaaaand then I usually have two or three playlists in constant flux for whatever I'm really craving to listen to at this particular point in time

17. Who is your favourite author?

Can't say as I have one

18. Chai or hot chocolate?

Chai

19. Do you prefer forests, sea shores, or meadows?

Sea shore, hands down

20. If you were to cultivate a fruit orchard, what would you grow?

Everything I would name I have developed allergies to so. Maybe not. Kinda sucks.

#tag memes

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kinogane · 3 years

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Meditations on Playing as Earthlings in Dragon Ball Xenoverse, Part 2

(previously)

The Dragon Ball Xenoverse games allow you to play as five races: Earthling (the default selection), Saiyan, Majin, Namekian, and the elegantly named "Frieza Race", with the first three races having an additional choice of gender. Compared to the Dragon Ball games mentioned in the previous post, Xenoverse probably differentiates the most between race/gender combinations. Each has a drastically different basic moveset that will be extremely relevant in combat, especially for strike-oriented playstyles, each have different stat spreads (and sometimes mechanics) that incentivize different playstyles, and arguably most importantly, each have their own unique techniques, the centerpiece of which is the race-specific Awoken Skill.

For context, in the first Dragon Ball Xenoverse, there were two problems with transformation skills like Super Saiyan and Unlock Potential. First was that they counted as Super Attacks, so you would have to give up a skill slot to make use of them, and second was that the transformations available to your character consisted of Kaioken, Unlock Potential, and variants of Super Saiyan. So like past Dragon Ball games, you weren't especially rewarded for playing a non-Saiyan character, since it meant you had to run Unlock Potential (or run a gimmicky Kaioken build), while Saiyans could at least nominally choose between that, and multiple variants of Super Saiyan that suited their playstyle.

This was remedied in the second Xenoverse game with the addition of Awoken Skills, which were transformations that occupied a separate slot. More importantly, Xenoverse 2 also added race-specific Awoken Skills, which meant that there was actually a compelling reason to pick races besides Saiyans.

In theory, at least. In practice?

Frieza Race characters probably gained the most in the sequel. Their Awoken Skill, Turn Golden, is relatively straightforward, both from a gameplay standpoint and an aesthetic standpoint. Your ki blasts are stronger and you do the Golden Frieza thing. Much like the form in the series proper, it's a bit dull and uninspired as a body recolor, but it is identifiable as a powerful transformation.

Namekians gained the ability to Become Giant, hearkening back to King Piccolo in the original Dragon Ball (and I guess Lord Slug in the movies), which as I understand was a fun transformation to use before it got nerfed in subsequent patches. Currently, it's a neat gimmick that's fun to mess around with and can be effective in bursts, but the stamina drain means it can't see the extended use that just about every other Awoken Skill can.

Majin gained the wildly unpopular ability to undergo Purification, which translates into becoming a Kid Buu with a special moveset. A Kid Buu that, mind you, only changes its skin and eye color as appropriate; regardless of how you customized your character before the transformation, your Purified Majin is going to look basically the same as any other Purified Majin, which is kind of a problem in a game where a significant portion of the userbase's interest in the game is at least partially in coordinating outfits for their player characters.

Earthlings got to ride on a Flying Nimbus and use the Power Pole.

The race-specific Awoken Skill for Earthlings is riding around on a cloud that kinda already loses a lot of its luster when, by construction, all characters can fly, and wielding a weapon/tool that hasn't been relevant since the original Dragon Ball. It's a nostalgia play that basically no Earthling character is going to use extensively, since you can't use your own skills and are limited to a moveset that loses its visual and gameplay novelty in minutes, at most.

It should be mentioned that Saiyans, as of the time of this writing, have access to five variants of Super Saiyan.

(Caveat that I can't speak for the PvP side of these evaluations, and quite frankly, I couldn't be bothered since Xenoverse PvP seems thoroughly unappealing, but I digress.)

So yet again, even when concessions are explicitly made to make playing non-Saiyan races an appealing alternative from a gameplay standpoint, Saiyans are still the clear winners and Earthlings are still clear losers. Furthermore, there's at least an argument that the non-Earthling Awoken Skills at least invoke an image of power as understood in Dragon Ball. For all the shortcomings of the Namekian and Majin Awoken Skills, you can at least point to King Piccolo and Kid Buu as signifiers of strength. If anything, the image of Goku on the Nimbus with the Power Pole is reminiscent of a time when Dragon Ball was significantly less concerned with displays of power, which is kind of counterintuitive when it's invoked as a method of attaining greater power.

Put reductively, it's kind of a bummer, but then again, isn’t this dynamic, of Saiyans being given the lion's share of power and relevance while Earthlings get virtually none, the most Dragon Ball shit ever?

Hindsight has only made Videl's presence in the early parts of the Buu Saga all the more fascinating. For that run of episodes, all the way up to the World Martial Arts Tournament, the degree to which Videl is an active participant and outright combatant in the action is kind of surreal. It's not entirely without precedent, since Chi-Chi had her moments in the original Dragon Ball and the occasional moment in Z, but unlike Chi-Chi, it really does seem like Videl's perfectly content to be this active for as long as she's around. What's more, the show explicitly makes reference to her being wildly more powerful than her dad, who himself is established as of legitimate world champion caliber, and it even goes out of its way to have Gohan teach her to fly. While that scene is absolutely primarily meant to set up her true purpose in the series writ large, there's a pretty good correlation in Dragon Ball between "people who can fly" and "people who can at least fight a little".

Then, of course, Spopovich happens.

I'm not particularly interested in litigating post-crisis Videl here, since it's been discussed plenty, and yeah, I also think it's more than a little bit of a bummer. But knowing the trajectory of post-Z Dragon Ball, especially Super, it makes Videl's irrelevance on an action level kind of an inevitability? Like, yeah, maybe if she bounced back harder and played a larger role after the Spopovich fight, you maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe could draw a line to her at least being comparable to the likes of Krillin, Tien, and Yamcha, but given the reality of modern Dragon Ball, would that be anything more than a pyrrhic victory?

So really, when you consider that the frankly ridiculous power scaling of Super is really just the logical extension of the scaling in Z that was already well underway by the Buu Saga, it naturally raises the question of why they bothered to even make Videl this much of an active force in the first place. From square one, she's arguably destined to be relegated to Gohan's love interest and future wife, so why go through the effort of showing the audience that she's stronger than every Earthling that's not a Z-Fighter? It does parallel Chi-Chi's strength in Dragon Ball to help further foreshadow her pairing with Gohan like Chi-Chi with Goku, but then why make her be that into fighting when Chi-Chi was always clearly content to be a housewife?

And like, Jesus Christ, all that only to be that definitive with that Spopovich fight?

I bring Videl up because my main created character in Xenoverse 2 is a female Earthling. Ever since I booted the game for the first time, there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to primarily play as a female Earthling, because with it came the knowledge that I was going to control a female Earthling doing and achieving some frankly wild shit, like going toe-to-toe with Final Form Mira, literal deities, Jiren, and Ultra Instinct Goku(?!?), sometimes back-to-back in certain Parallel Quests.

And of course I can, because that is the entire reason for the Xenoverse games' existence. The game has always been an unabashed power fantasy all about defeating some of the most powerful entities in Dragon Ball history with your own created character on your own terms.

And yet, as I do all of this with my female Earthling, the knowledge that in canon, the most powerful analogue to my character is Videl, a character who almost literally gets the relevance beaten out of her in a brutal and unforgettable manner, makes the experience feel almost rebellious. It feels like everything from the godawful Awoken Skill to the subpar race/gender stat distribution for a strike-oriented build to the very nature and history of Dragon Ball itself is working against my character becoming a ludicrously powerful force of nature, and yet I not only can, but literally must push through and go even further beyond.

I cannot emphasize enough that this sense of transgression has no basis at all when it comes to the game. Absolutely nothing about the Xenoverse games explicitly suggests that Earthlings, female or otherwise, are somehow destined to be strictly lesser than Saiyans or any other races. Again, the game is an unabashed power fantasy; it's going to let you achieve that power fantasy regardless of race or gender, because to do so otherwise is completely antithetical to the entire reason people play the game in the first place.

But looking at past Dragon Ball games, at least to me, makes clear that they really didn't have to include the option to play as an Earthling. They clearly feel no obligation to do so, since they've excluded it in previous games. They completely dodge the need to include a human-like race option with the existence of Saiyans, who aren't even differentiated by the presence of a tail. I genuinely don't think any significant number of people would have even batted an eye over the exclusion of Earthlings. ‘Cause, you know, it's Dragon Ball, why would you play as an Earthling?

But they did. They let you choose to play as an Earthling, a race that Dragon Ball has essentially been drilling into your head, for years, is a strictly less powerful and less interesting version of Saiyans with practically no upside. They gave you the option, and I took it, all because it effectively let me play out an extended Videl what-if by proxy and stretch credibility into complete, unrecognizable nonsense.

I recognize that this absolutely reflects more on me and my relationship with Dragon Ball as a whole than it does on Xenoverse, but when it’s the only Dragon Ball game that embraces customizable characters to the extent that it does, it’s necessarily going to be the only game that actually lets me grapple with that tension between the source and the spin-off, and reckon with how that can shape the audience’s experience and perception of the bigger picture.

#dragon ball xenoverse #dragon ball xenoverse 2 #xenoverse #xenoverse 2 #dbxv #dbxv2 #xv2 #dragon ball #dragon ball z #dbz #videl #videl satan

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ask-fantasy-sanders-sides · 3 years

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What are the ten True Dragon Types? And what's a true dragon? I don't play D+D lol

(( Hey yall! This post is REALLY LONG (and techincally the part one to a much shorter addition about drow dragonblood descendants, here!) but the stuff in it is pretty important, since this game focuses pretty heavily on dragons and I’ve changed quite a bit about them from standard 5e! So, if you have time, maybe take a look ;) ))

(( I got a LOT of the changes to the chromatic dragon’s designs, and the pit organs of the copper dragon, from tumblr user filibusterfrog! Go check out their art and creature designs, they’re mad awesome!! ))

~~~

True Dragons are the ten subspecies of Dragon who most resemble the ancient goliaths that ruled the entire Material Plane long ago, before it was stolen from them by the ancient Elves, and most of them were killed. They are few in number and don’t tend to band together in clans, but that does not make them weak. They are still huge, immensely powerful beasts, with a natural command of magic and the elements and incredibly long lifespans.

(“False Dragons” are either farther removed from their common ancestors, or are not actually related to dragons at all and simply resemble them more than any other creature type, like wyverns and drakes!)

((More in-depth explanations below!))

~~~

After the war with the Elves and their allies, those Dragons who survived split into two pseudo-religious factions; the Metallics, who serve King Bahamut, Platinum Justicebringer, and made peace with the Elves and all other humanoids, and the Chromatics, who revere Queen Tiamat, Chaos Avaricious, who desire to see the world brought back under their thumb.

(Metallic, strongest -> weakest: Gold, Silver, Bronze, Copper, and Brass.)

(Chromatic, strongest -> weakest: Red, Blue, Green, Black, White)

These two rulers gained Deity status through their people’s reverence, and in turn shaped the bodies and minds of their people into the dragons we see today: Unlike most Humanoids, Dragons don’t exactly have free will. (Most of their personalities and decisions are directly puppeted by their Gods.) Because of this, the behavior of each Type is pretty consistent across the board, even in half-dragons or dragonblood descendants. Each Type also has a distinctive look, a set of common behaviors and flaws, and a set of Hoarding Behaviors, though they are all incredibly greedy and proud beasts.

~~~

The Ten True Types:

Black Dragons are slender and wiry, their bodies covered in slick, dense, thick tar-colored fur. Their fur is lighter around their eyes and on their underside, appearing a pale, sickly yellow or green. Their horns are just as pale, and protrude from the sides of their heads and wrap around, projecting forwards. Thick pale skin plates their muzzles and under their eyes, appearing like the naked bone of their skulls. Their front feet have extra skin that acts like a paddle for swimming, and they have flat, paddle-like tales, and the hair at the upper part of their neck sticks out like a large frill. They smell of rotting vegetation and foul water. By far the cruelest and most vile-tempered of the chromatic dragons, black dragons actively take pleasure in the suffering of weaker creatures. They hoard the ruins of old civilizations and ruined noble houses to imagine the suffering of their endings, and hoard tools of torture they might use to toy with their prey. They desire nothing more than to kill, in whatever way which maximizes the suffering of their chosen victim/s. Their weapon breath is a stream of bubbling green acid.

Blue Dragons have two large horns on their snout much like a rhino, two smaller horns by their ears, and even more horn-bumps lining their thick, crocodile-like tails. Their scales are thin, layered across thick hide-skin like a light chain mesh. They range many shades of blue, with a more cream-colored underbelly, paws, and horns. They have a dark blue mane of hair around their necks and chests, which stretches down their back and tail, between their scutes. Their chests are large and necks are short, but they are lighter than they appear, most of that center mass being applied as muscle that powers their massive wings, more powerful than any other dragon’s. They smell like arid sand, and the burning, static sting of an oncoming storm.

Blue dragons are ceaselessly vain, more concerned with being respected for their beauty and the beauty of their hoards than for their power. They are even known to spare those who flatter them enough, and allow safe passage to jewel merchants who promise them the finest in their possessions. They are still not to be trusted, and are more likely to mock and toy with lesser creatures than spare them, like cats playing with mice before a meal. They exclusively hoard gems and items laden with them, preferring blue sapphires above all others. Their weapon breath is a stream of powerful lightning.

Brass Dragons are one of the most distinctive. Their wings attach all the way to the tips of their tails, longest at the shoulder, making a V shape from below. Their thin, brass-colored scales -- which start brown when they are young, turn brass, then turn blue in splotches as they age -- radiate heat and light. Large curved plate-like horns extend from the dragon’s eyes and cheeks on either side and curve upwards into two points, and a mass of brass and brown spotted feathers grows behind them, fluffing out around their chest and neck like a lion’s mane before tapering down their back to the tail. They have two sharp horns on their chin that curve downwards, giving their muzzles a faux beak-like shape. They smell like freshly worked metal.

Brass dragons are the most benign of the ten, wanting nothing more than to converse with other creatures. They love to talk, to the exclusion of every other possible activity. They hoard items that make conversation easier, like sentient magic items, genie lamps, and items with charm effects. Brass dragons have two separate breath weapons: a narrow line of fire, and a cone of sleep gas. (All Metallics have a lethal breath and a non-lethal breath)

Bronze Dragons have small, reflective scales (which are red at infancy but turn bronze in color during adolescence,) and black claws and horns. As they age, the tips of their wings and horns turn teal blue at the edges and tips, and their scales turn teal in long stripes. They have four large horns on each side of their heads, three protruding from each cheek and one from the top of their brow, all pointing back towards their tail. Their tongues are long and purple-grey, with a shallow fork like an iguana’s, and their teeth appear to be forged of broken glass, like the moray eel’s. A series of long spikes runs down the upper part of their necks, the spikes curving slightly backwards towards the tip of the tail. A dorsal fin runs from just beneath these spikes all the way down to the tip of their tails, mirrored by another long fin that stems from under the chest and runs along the underside of the body. Bronze dragons smell like sea spray.

Bronze dragons are curious and stubborn, possessing a strong sense of justice and a deep-seated hatred for all forms of cruelty. They crave the sea and the pursuit of freedom, often spending their time taking human shape and becoming pirates or seaside mercenaries. They are brilliant military tacticians, and they demand high salaries for their work. The only time they will charge into battle without compensation is when fighting against a powerful tyrant, where they can expect to go all-out, and exercise their true strength without restraint. They hoard keepsakes and memorabilia from the wars they’ve fought and adventures they had, including sunken ships, old cannons, and legendary weapons. They have two breath weapons, a lethal lightning breath and a repulsion breath that does no damage, just moves things around.

Copper dragons have short, smooth faces, with pit organs and cheek ridges that point backwards. Their long segmented horns begin as smooth brow plates and extend backwards, and plate-like scales extend backwards from the tops of their heads and down their backs, with incredibly thick hide on their underbellies and the insides of their limbs. Their scales are wide and large, like interlocking shields, and dome over their wide bodies, making them look much like pangolins. These scales begin orange, yellow, or green in color, turning copper as that dragon ages, then green in spots and splotches as they reach adulthood, though they remain red-orange around the eyes. Tucked underneath the bottom ridges of the lowest scales are their alar limbs, short but articulated, and manta-like wings grow from them down to the base of their tails. When fully opened, they seem to make a U shape from below, with red and green discolorations at the end. Their tails are long, wide, prehensile, and well-armored, and they have long digging claws.. As they age, these dragon’s pupils turn a glowing turquoise green. They smell like stone.

Copper dragons are even-tempered and sociable, with an insatiable love for riddles and jokes. They love to share in witty conversation and play “harmless” pranks, but get offended easily at those who don’t like to laugh or talk, and people who do not find them funny. They treasure moments of good companionship, and hoard items that remind them of people and conversations they’ve enjoyed, as well as old tomes that contain their favorite stores. They have two breath weapons; a line of powerful green acid, and a cone of gas that slows anyone who touches it.

Gold Dragons appear like the typical depiction of a Chinese dragon in our world, but their fur, scales, antler-like horns, and claws are all the color of glittering gold. As they aged, even their pupils faded away until their eyes appeared like pools of liquid gold. Notably, they do not have wings, flying entirely through magic and force of will. They seem to glow in the sun, though whether they are actually glowing or their scales simply reflect sunlight very well is anyone’s guess.

Gold Dragons are passionate and valorous, desiring nothing more than victory over evil. They are relentless in their hunt for evil creatures, injustices, and foul play of all forms, putting aside all other desires and even often food or shelter to combat cruel forces in the world that require more force than humans are capable of. They are personally grim and reserved creatures -- not unkind, they simply don’t prefer company, and usually avoid casual contact with other creatures, even fellow dragons. They hoard the spoils of their evil-hunting conquests -- hoards of chromatic dragons they’ve slain, jems from the bowels of a purple worm, etc. They have two weapon breaths, being a cone of fire breath and a spray of some chemical gas that weakens all who inhale it...

Green Dragons had long, snake-like bodies and smooth snake-like scales. A large, waving crest fin starts at this dragon’s nose and runs the entire length of their body. Their scales and fins start a dark blue-black when they are young, turning dark green as they reach adulthood, and then their underbelly scales lighten to a paler green as they age. They also have exceptionally long, slender forked tongues.

Green Dragons were master manipulators and liars, who enjoy corrupting weaker creatures (especially elves) and hoarding them like possessions. They will put up a front of diplomacy and deceit when bargaining with stronger foes, but reveal their true cruel and petty nature when intimidating lesser beings or when they gained the upper hand. They delighted in stalking their chosen enemies for information and exposing other’s secrets, but despised whenever they were exposed in a lie. Their hoard took the form of a network of spies and captives, who the Green Dragon blackmails and manipulates into servitude and dependence. Green dragons are one of the weaker of the true ten and despise getting their hands dirty with violence, counting any encounter that couldn’t be ended with words and mind games as a failure. Their breath weapon is a cloud of yellow poison gas.

Red Dragons appear like the classic English/European dragons, with fire-red scales, reptilian bodies, and large bat-like wings that fray along the edges. Their horns, claws, and underbellies are a pale golden color, growing back from the skull and curling back and upwards towards their wings, twisting on themselves as they grow longer. Red dragons were of an enormous size and wingspan even for dragons, true powerhouses of their species. They smell of smoke and sulfur.

Red dragons embody the worst of all their kin’s vices. They are voracious over-hunters, vain and covetous hoarders, and cruel, maniacal, sadistic tyrants. Short-tempered and hot-blooded, Red dragons are known to make all decisions without an ounce of forethought, completely confident in their ability to do anything they want. They delighted in the ruin, death, and destruction of other creatures and their settlements, wanting nothing more than to set the planet ablaze and reap the rewards of dead men’s gold. They hoarded anything with material wealth, wishing to be the richest creatures alive.

Silver Dragons’ bodies are tube-like in shape, with soft, iridescent silver fur all over their bodies. The fur on their underbellies and jaws are more white than metallic, with pronounced goatees of longer whiskers under their chins. They have curved wings with two talons instead of the usual one. A beautiful stripe of glittering opalescent fur runs down from the top of their heads all the way to the tips of their tails, sticking up like a spiked frill or mohawk of pearl thread, abruptly fading to a purple hue at the tip. Their antler-like horns and long claws were also pure silver with opalescent purple tips. They smell like rain and petrichor.

Wise, noble, and playful, Silver Dragons do not go out of their way to fight evil like the gold or bronze, but wait to be asked for help; They were simply more concerned with protecting those humanoids they had come to befriend than actively seeking out injustices. They are obsessed with the lives and cultures of humans and elves, spending most of their time among them, taking the shape of a humanoid and pretending to be one of the crowd. They desired to spend most of their everyday lives in humanoid form (though it should be remembered that they still consider themselves to be the most superior creatures in the world). They hoarded works of art and historical artifacts with connections to civilizations they admired or befriended, and the friendships they made with humanoid people (though they did not physically keep the people themselves, like Greens and some Brass). Their breath weapons were an icy blast that froze solid all it touched, and a short-lasting paralyzing gas.

White Dragons appear very similar to Silvers, at first glance. But, unlike the lithe and flexible silvers, White dragons are stocky and muscled; still streamlined for maximum speed but built with considerably more strength. They have manes of long, thick white fur on their shoulders and back, stretching down their tails and the outsides of their limbs. Their underbellies, faces, and the inside of their limbs are plated with glittering translucent scales, shining all shades of pearlescent white, icy blue, and opalescent lavenders. Their claws are obsidian-colored and long, optimized for climbing and digging through solid ice, and their tales are tipped with a leathery swimming fin. A singular horn-like crest grows back from their skulls under the mane of long fur, and a large dewlap hands from the underside of their necks, with spikes growing down from it. Like red dragons, their wings appear frayed and punctured towards the ends, but usually aren’t actually damaged. Their eyes are fully black, turning a light purple as they age. They have a crisp, vaguely chemical smell.

White dragons lack the cruelty of their kin, but they make up for it in pure strength and ferocity. It is believed that they are actually one of the strongest of the chromatic dragons, (unlike their typical placement on the hierarchy,) but because they chose not to engage like other dragons; They purposefully abandon their natural talents for magic, and even their intelligence, choosing to behave as massive animals. White dragons despise socializing or even speaking to other creatures, resorting even to fleeing their lairs for the day if they see someone approaching. If bothered persistently they are known to make deals with other creatures (as long as they aren’t hungry or angry already when you show up), and even form bonds with them, at which point they are very protective and loyal allies. They are some of the most excellent hunters on the Material Plane, seamlessly blending otherworldly intelligence and heightened senses with animalistic vigor and savagery. They are still one of the most dangerous of all ten dragons, though, from their tendency to go full ‘animal’ and hunt any creature that moves. They hoard anything that glitters shines in the light (including chunks of ice), and their breath weapon is a blast of freezing cold.

#lets roll #long post #long answer #like SUPER LONG this time guys #but this stuff is important #this story is VERY dragon-centric #game lore #I got a LOT of the changes to the dragon’s designs from tumblr user filibusterfrog! Go check out their blog!#please tell me if i need to tag anything else!

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destiny-islanders · 4 years

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Hey Destiny! Planning my first trip to WDW any advice :)

(I do hope you’re planning to go after the pandemic has been dealt with first off-- there are shops, restaurants, and certain experiences/shows that will be unavailable if you go around now-ish, and as far as I know they’re still charging full-price admission. So not only is it dangerous, it’s not worth it.)

But if you try and go next year sometime when life has presumably returned to normal...

If you can, stay on property!

Not a requirement obviously, but WDW has transportation that can get you to and from the parks so you don’t have to deal with the parking lots at the parks themselves. It’s also really nice as an adult to go to EPCOT and drink around the world without having to worry about who’s driving back

It also makes staying for the fireworks much less painful... Like it is excruciating to trudge back to your car after spending all day at the park and having to deal with the insane crowds leaving the park, and traffic in the parking lots...

Staying on property allows you to get Fast Passes and make dining reservations a whole month before other guests can. Which ties into my next point...

GET FASTPASSES AND DINING RESERVATIONS AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE

If you want to go to Magic Kingdom and go on the Mine Train, Space Mountain, and Splash Mountain with FastPass, you need to have them booked sooner rather than later. Find out when you can book FastPasses and get them the second you can.

If you couldn’t get FastPasses for it, get to the park when it opens and make a beeline to your #1 attraction

I live in Florida and I have an annual pass, so it’s not a big deal if I can’t go on my favorite rides because the lines are too long. But if you’re from out of state and this is going to be your only chance to go to Disney for the year or even YEARS, arriving early is a must

Trying to get on Rise of the Resistance (the fancy new Star Wars ride) in Hollywood Studios?

You need to be inside the park before it opens. Period. That is the only way to ensure you can get on this ride since it is insanely popular. Once inside the park, you need to use the MyDisney app to secure your place in a virtual queue. Everyone in your group needs to be registered on the MyDisney app or you will not be able to make a reservation for them. Once you’ve made the reservation, you’re free to roam the park as you will until it’s your turn to ride

Grossed out by crowded public restrooms? Use one in a sit-down restaurant.

Obviously please don’t bring your whole family into a restaurant to use its restroom. I’m talking like if one or two people in your group have to go. Just walk into the restaurant like you already have a table and go to the restroom in there. Though all of the restrooms at WDW are usually well-maintained, imo they’re even nicer in the sit-down restaurants haha. This tip is a little prissy but eh. Thought I’d include it

Disney snacks you are required by law to try

Magic Kingdom

Cheshire Cat Tail (Really yummy for breakfast while you wait in line for one of your first rides of the day)

Dole Whip Ice Cream (IT’S DAIRY FREE-- my fellow lactose-intolerant people can eat it worry-free!!!)

Sweet and Spicy Chicken and Waffle sandwich (Split with friends if you have lunch or dinner plans-- delicious snack to eat between rides or at a show)

GET A BIRTHDAY CAKE SCONE FROM THE CANDY SHOP/BAKERY!!! THEY ARE MY FAVORITE DISNEY TREATS AND I ALWAYS BRING LIKE 2 OR 3 HOME WITH ME

Animal Kingdom

Cinnamon roll (A classic-- and again, a perfect breakfast treat to share while you queue)

Night Blossom (Or its alcoholic equivalent-- really yummy slushies perfect to sip on in the outdoor queues in Avatar world)

Blueberry Cream Cheese Mousse (Need I say more? Yes it’s kind of dangerous if you can’t handle dairy though. Maybe steal a bite from someone’s just to experience life’s fleeting joys)

EPCOT

Adults who booze are obligated imo to get a Grey Goose Lemonade slushie in France. Tangy and sweet. COLD. Delicious.

Tarte aux Fraises (Honestly you can’t go wrong with anything in France... everything I’ve tried there is amazing...)

Giant pretzel (Not exactly a Disney-exclusive thing but... they’re humongous and a great snack to share with a group)

Side note while we’re in Germany-- there’s a little bar tucked into the corner near the back of this area. If you’re drinking around the world, go in there and get Apfel shots. Trust me I have good taste.

If they have them when you’re there... You need to get a meat bun in Japan. They are one of my favorite things to get at Disney Springs or in the parks when they’re available.

Hollywood Studios

(I’m not gonna lie this is not the park to get your snack on. There’s only one snack here I’m super passionate about...)

If you’re there around breakfast time (which you will be if you got there early for Star Wars), the S’mores French Toast in Toy Story Land is DELICIOUS. Just grab napkins. A lot of napkins.

Giant pretzel

This is not a recommendation, this is a warning: THE MILK IN STAR WARS LAND IS GROSS AND I HATED EVERY SECOND A DROP OF IT WAS IN MY MOUTH

Rides you should try to do while you’re in the park

Magic Kingdom

Space Mountain

Splash Mountain (I wear a poncho because I hate having wet clothes,,,,,)

I think Thunder Mountain is kinda lame but I guess it’s worth doing if the line isn’t terribly long

Dwarf Mine Train

Pirates of the Caribbean

Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin (smacktalk in the queue and try to maintain your dignity when you get 9000 points and all of your friends have nearly broken 1 million)

Haunted Mansion

Mickey’s Phillarmagic

Animal Kingdom

Expedition Everest

It’s Tough To Be a Bug (this show will probably terrify your young children if you have any, just a warning)

Flight of Passage (I GUESS... none of the rides in the Avatar section of the park are worth a 2 hour wait if you ask me...)

Dinosaur (again, this ride will probably terrify your young children... I think it’s scarier than Jurassic Park at Universal if you can believe it)

Kilimanjaro Safari (get a Fast Pass for this one-- it’s probably one of the most popular attractions in AK)

Kali River Rapids (in which I once again don a poncho like a 50-year-old man)

Festival of the Lion King (corny as hell but it’s fun)

EPCOT

(If you’re not here to check out the exhibits in each country idk what you’re doing here haha)

Test Track (honestly the only ride I like there)

Spaceship Earth (yes it’s a slow dark ride but it’s really charming and there’s a bit at the end that will probably make you and your group cry laughing)

Gran Fiesta Tour (It’s hidden in the temple in Mexico. Cute little boat ride with Donald and the Three Caballeros)

Soarin’ (My friends and I have an endurance competition to see who can keep their legs held out straight the longest throughout the ride. We got some of the people sitting around us to join in the last time we rode which was pretty hilarious haha)

I’ve heard the Frozen ride is fun, but I’ve never ridden on it myself, so I can’t really comment on it

Note about Mission Space: I got really sick on this ride, and I rode the TAME version. Most of my friends also get sick on this ride. It’s worth trying once if you’re really curious, but I was knocked on my ass for half of my day at EPCOT after riding this one.)

Hollywood Studios

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster (A really fun ride but try to keep your head back or you will have a headache all day... Bring ibuprofen.)

Tower of Terror (Probably one of my favorite Disney rides in any park. Will most likely further terrify your small children who may still be traumatized from the bugs and dinosaurs of Animal Kingdom)

Rise of the Resistance (I don’t care about Star Wars but uh. Yeah. This ride was pretty dope.)

Smuggler’s Run (One of the more immersive rides I’ve been on... The ride vehicle is cool as all get-out and there are lots of buttons you can push and levers to pull... Blame one of your friends for being a bad pilot when you only manage to snag two pieces of cargo)

Toy Story Mania (exhaust yourself and make your arms really sore as you desperately try to exert your dominance over your friends as you pop balloons with darts and throw rings around volcanos before they erupt)

MuppetVision (I’m a Muppets ride or die fan and I still think this ride is charming and funny. There’s usually never a line so it’s a perfect break in the air conditioning with beloved characters)

Minnie and Mickey’s Runaway Railway (I haven’t gotten to ride this yet, but I’ve heard good things-- and the Mickey shorts this ride is based on are HILARIOUS, so I expect good things)

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular (DISCLAIMER: Only really fun if someone in your group is selected to be one of the townsfolk. My sister got picked last time and it was hilarious)

Fantasmic! (I like all of the fireworks shows minus the Star Wars one in HS because I really don’t care but. Fantasmic stands out. You have to watch it at least once. Try to catch the first show if you can so you can avoid some of the rush of guests leaving the park at the very end of the night)

#destiny answers #long post #Anonymous

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jeannereames · 3 years

Text

Writing Historical Fiction (Well)

From an anonymous ask:

"What advice would you give to someone who wants to write about Alexander?" Sorry I didn't clarify, I was thinking of writing a fictional novel (but do not plan to publish it, lol)

If you’re just writing for yourself with no plans to publish, you don’t have to worry about constraints like wordcount and publishability. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to sell mainstream historicals. Selling a genre historical is easier (historical fantasy, historical mystery, historical romance). But there’s a reason it took me 30 years to get Dancing with the Lion into print. Yes, some of that time I was actually writing it, but much more was devoted to finding a market for it, and notice that I did, finally, have to sell it as genre even though it isn’t really. (It was that or shelve it forever.)

Yet if you’re asking for my recommendations, I assume you want to write something that’s marginally readable. Ergo, what follows is general advice I’d give anybody writing historical fiction.

For historicals, one must keep track of two things simultaneously: telling a good story, and portraying history accurately enough. It’s possible to do one well, but the other quite badly.

First, let’s look at how to write a good story.

There are two very basic sorts of stories: the romance, and the novel. Notice it’s romance small /r/. A romance is an adventure story; in romances, the plot dominates and characters serve the plot. A novel is character-driven, so plot events serve character development. Dancing with the Lion is a novel.

Once you’ve decided which of those you’re writing, you have a better handle on how to write it. You also need to know where you’re going: what’s the end of the story? What are the major plot points? Writers who dive in with no road map tend to produce bloated books that require massive edits. That said, romances will almost always be faster paced, in part because “what’s happening” drives it. Whereas in novels, the impact of events on characters drives it. Exclusive readers of romances are rarely pleased by the pacing of novels. They’re too slow: “Nothing is happening!” Things are happening, but internally, not externally.

Yet pacing does matter. Never let a scene do one thing when it can do three.

You will want to pay attention to something called “scene and sequel.” A “scene” is an event and a “sequel” are the consequences. So let’s say (as in my current MIP [monster in progress]) you open with a fugitive from the city jail racing through the streets with guards following: he leaps the wall of a rich man’s house and ends up in the bedroom of a visiting prince. That’s the scene. The sequel is the fall-out. (House searched, prince hides fugitive, prince gets fugitive to tell him why he’s running.) Usually near the end of the sequel(s) to the first scene, you embed the hook to the next (a slave of the rich man has been found murdered outside the city walls). The next scene concerns recovering the body and what they discover (then fall-out from that). Etc., etc., etc.

That’s how stories progress. Or don’t progress, if the author can’t master scene-sequel patterns.

It also means—again—you need to know where you’re going. Outlines Are Your Friends. But yes, your plot can still take a sharp left-hand turn that surprises you…they almost always do.

When I sat down to write Dancing with the Lion, I knew three things:

1) I wanted to write about Alexander before he became king.

2) I wanted to explore his relationship with Hephaistion.

3) I especially wanted to consider how both became the men they’d did.

With those goals in mind, I could frame the story. Because I always intended Hephaistion to be as important as Alexander, the novel opens in his point-of-view to establish that. And because I didn’t want to deal with Alexander as king, the novel had to end before he became one. History itself gives a HUGE and obvious gift in the abrupt murder of Philip. Where to open was harder to decide, but as I wanted to explore the boys’ friendship and its impact on their maturation into men, I should logically begin with their meeting, and decided not to have them meet too young. From there, I spun out Hephaistion’s background, and his decision to run away from home to join the circus, er, I mean Pages. 😉

IMO, Alexander’s story is Too Big to do in a single novel, or you get an 800+ page monstrosity like Chris Cameron’s God of War. The author must decide on what piece of the story she wants to tell. (Or, like me, view it as a series.)

So that’s (in a nutshell) how you construct a story.

As for the historical side, there are three levels here:

1) What the world looks like (details).

2) The events that take place.

3) How people living in that world understand life, the universe, and everything.

Number two is probably the easiest. Numbers one and three require deeper research on all sorts of things. Sometimes historical novels spend all their time on number one and completely forget number three exists.

The past is a foreign country. Just as you wouldn’t (or at least shouldn’t) write a novel set in Japan (if you’re American) without learning something not only about the physical country but also the customs…same with stories set in the past.

This is why the Oliver Stone movie failed. He put modern people in a costume drama. He didn’t understand how ancient Macedonians (or Greeks or Persians) thought. So he committed crazy anachronisms like the oedipal complex between Alexander and Olympias. Freud may have named his theory after a Greek hero, but it’s largely a foreign idea to the Greek mind. (Whether it’s valid at all is a topic for another day).

The author has to let ancient people be properly ancient.

Problem: what do you do when they’re SO foreign they’re impossible to understand for modern readers—or their attitudes are outright offensive?

Well, if you don’t plan to get your story published, you don’t have to worry about that. Or not as much. But if you want to share it with others, you might still want to consider it.

There are two basic approaches:

1) Introduce your world through a “stranger” who enters it.

2) Spread out more “modern” views among various characters in the story, to give modern readers something familiar to hang onto.

The first of those is by far the most common. So in Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander, Claire Randall—quite literally a modern woman—introduces the modern reader to Jacobite Scotland. As she learns about her new world, so does the reader, and in Claire, the reader has a voice to express both their fascination and their horror of that world. In Judith Tarr’s Lord of the Two Lands, she uses Meriamon, an Egyptian priestess, to enter the Macedonian world of Alexander. Judy can then contrast Egyptian and Macedonian cultural values in order to explain them. Meriamon asks questions the reader wants answers to—or Niko (or Alexander) ask questions of her about Egypt.

The second choice (which is what I did in Dancing) is to identify cultural mores likely to offend modern readers: indifference to slavery, glorification of war and conquest, Greco-Macedonian attitudes towards women, and Greco-Macedonian attitudes towards sexuality. Then to assign one of the characters to voice a more modern view. Alexander gets to be a proto-feminist, and I gave points of view to two women. One of those women, I made a slave. Hephaistion gets to express a more modern view regarding the horrors of war. Sexuality was a bit tougher, but I used the boys’ atypical relationship—that the younger is the one of higher status—to illustrate Greco-Macedonian assumptions about what a male-male relationship should look like.

That approach presents more hurdles, but for my purposes, I preferred it.

I harp on this because it’s the biggest problem for historical fiction: not having historical characters! It wrecks what might otherwise be decent research into the details. No matter how much you look up what they ate, how they dressed, the way their houses were laid out…if you have them behaving anachronistically, it’s a bad historical. Or if you have circumstances that just wouldn’t occur.

Let me give an example. I’ve said before that, when I started writing the novel in December of 1988, Dancing always began with a run-away boy (Hephaistion). But in my initial version, he showed up in Pella incognito. The more I read about Macedonia, however, the more I realized that was virtually impossible. There just weren’t that many Hetairoi. He’d have been recognized, and probably sooner rather than later. So I went back to the drawing board and, instead of having him try to hide, he comes right out and says who he is, and that he wants to join the Pages. It might take away the “mystery,” but set up more interesting dynamics: would Philip let him stay? What would his father do? Etc.

That requires the author know enough about the culture to know what’s possible, probable, and impossible. It also requires the author to be willing to change original plans in order to reflect reality, not insist on doing ___ anyway.

A good example of jettisoning history in favor of “what I want to do!” can be found in David Gemmell’s Lion of Macedon. So many, many things wrong with that book, starting with his choice to make Parmenion a Spartan for no historical reason whatsoever—but (I assume?) because Spartans Are Sexy. Parmenion likely belonged to the royal house of Upper Macedonian Pelagonia. Although even if he didn’t, absolutely nothing suggests he wasn’t Macedonian, and quite a lot says he was. The whole duology (with included The Dark Prince) was essentially Blue Boltz ™ Epic Fantasy Does Greece. The fact he actually included a bibliography in back, and got weird, isolated details right only added insult to injury.

Yet Gemmell was a best-selling British fantasy novelist who knew pacing and how to spin a good yarn. For a reader with zero knowledge of Alexander, it would stack up as a predictable but tolerable fantasy set.

Remember that as an historical fiction author, your job is to practice the art of getting it right. If that isn’t important to you, please God, write something completely made up.

At the spectrum’s other end is Showing Notecards on Every Page. You’ve done ALL that hard research, and you’ll be damn sure the reader knows it!

Um, the reader doesn’t care. The reader wants to be transported to another world. How locals in that world shoed horses (or if they shoed horses at all) is irrelevant. It matters only if your main character’s a farrier. And even then, it matters only if said-farrier is having a conversation with someone else while shoeing a horse.

If people want all the little details of history, they’ll read a history book.

Now, how much detail is “too much” can vary from reader to reader, and often has something to do with the genre.

Regular readers of historical fiction are fans because they enjoy history. So they’ll expect proper world-building. But they don’t want the Dreaded Information Dump. Weave in details. The Dreaded Information Dump is a common beginning-author error across the board, but especially bad in certain genres, such as historicals, fantasy, and SF.

What’s an “information dump”? It’s where the author provides details the reader doesn’t need at that point in the story. What the character looks like, is wearing, their family background, what they had for breakfast….

As mentioned, details should be woven into the story organically. What your character had for breakfast matters only if, later, it’s giving him/her gas: “Damn those beans in my breakfast burrito!” Some details may be useful to set a scene and prevent characters from walking around, having conversations in a void, but again, a light touch.

Similarly, One scene, One head. We do NOT need to see everything from each character’s point of view. No, really. We don’t. And dear God, please don’t “head-hop” inside of scenes (unless you’re writing omniscient, but be sure you know what omniscient IS). Drives me BUGGY.

Anyway, back to the Notecard Showing Problem. As noted above, genre expectations and reader preferences often dictate what IS “too much detail.” Generally, historical Romance (the genre) and historical mysteries go lighter on detail than historical fantasy or plain historicals. That’s because the former two have genre conventions that work against it. Romances preference the love story front-and-center at all times, and mysteries have a mystery to unravel. E.g, they’re plot driven. By contrast, historical fantasies tolerate more world building because world building itself is a feature of fantasy (and science fiction too). And the appeal of mainstream or literary historicals IS the world building, so you get massive novels like Ken Follet’s Pillars of the Earth.

I’m blathering now, but hopefully this gives pointers not just about writing Alexander, but writing fiction period, and historical fiction in particular.

#historical fiction #writing #the writing life #writing how-to #Alexander the Great #Dancing with the Lion #ancient Greek fiction #scene and sequel #asks

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kob131 · 3 years

Note

For that ask meme, let’s go with some of the servants that people never seem to ask about with these.

For the ladies we have…

-Boudicca

-Hundred Personas

-Jing Ke

-Mata Hari

-Medea

-Medusa

-Penthecilia

-Serenity

And on the guys side…

-Bedivere

-Beowulf

-Billy

-Blackbeard

-Chiron

-Ivan

-Robin Hood

-Yan Quing

And, finally, for ???

-Enkidu

Feel free to trim down the list to just those you actually want to answer.

Billy: Not a shota fan.

Ivan: I feel for you Ivan, I really do. You really did try your best for your people, it’s not your fault your history got so fucked and Kadoc and co. fucked you over so much. Honestly don’t know why people blamed you so much- you really didn’t have a choice.

So why is he ‘Not My Type’? ... I dunno how you could fuck him. I mean, literally- how?

Blackbeard: Weird for this character I know but hard to hate the guy when all his shitty actions get him punished and aside from his loli antics (which apparently is EXCLUSIVE to his comical side)- he is pretty funny and if they took the time to give him focus- he’d be an interesting guy.

Boudicca- She’s fallen victim to me for what I’d call the ‘Raikou effect’. What I mean is that they tried so hard to make her attractive with giant tits that it comes across as comical. She’d be very pretty if they didn’t emphasis her boobs so much it feels like a hentai parody.

Penthecilla: A bit awkward given her younger form but still, you can really tell that Golden Rule (Beauty) is NOT a exaggeration.

... Okay so somehow she’s in my house now. I don’t know how that’s possi-HEY, PUT MY FRIDGE DOWN!

Bedievere- my dude fucking dragged his normal ass across a millenna and a half, beat the shit out of his fellow INSANELY POWERFUL Knights and gave the Lion King her just desserts. Only gripe his talk of the Round Table hating Agravain doesn’t hold up. Only he and Lancelot don’t like him as far as I know and Lancelot’s case is personal.

Medusa: ... Lady, look in the mirror. You are NOT ugly. Like, in ay sense of the word. Your monster form isn’t even close to ugly. Even your NP form is more scary than ugly.

Mata Hari: Still wish they could have downsized her boobs (especially since her real life self was apparently not that busty to begin with) because it feels like they’re pushing the ‘Raikou’ thing again. But god damn she’s beautiful.

Medea: I’ve gone on about the whole ‘big tits aren’t the end all, be all of making an attractive female character’ and Medea perfectly shows why. She’s probably the hottest original Fate Stay Night servant and she’s not busty to the extreme. Beautiful hair, alluring face, curvy figure: She’s how you make an attractive female character.

Beowulf: The man uses swords as a RESTRAINT and his NP is literally HIS FISTS. I’m surprised Rules Of Nature doesn’t automatically play whenever he attacks.

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a-crimson-lion · 4 years

Text

Katsuki Bakugo And Minoru Mineta Are Funny For All The Wrong Reasons

In this essay I will

No, but seriously, this is a problem. Spoilers and all that jazz. Let's start with the obvious.

Minoru Mineta

Minoru is the poster child for this topic. He's a complete scumbag, but is kept around because he's funny, when in reality he'd probably be expelled somewhere down the line.

While he does have some funny moments, there's only a small amount that don't come from his perversions, which is highly concerning.

His brand of humor isn't particularly inspired either. Let's go through some of his moments.

Hero Costumes

Minoru flashes his thumbs up when he looks at Ochako's uniform, stating that he loves the school. This is less funny and more unsettling, but it gets a pass 'cause Minoru is still relatively new to viewers.

USJ

Minoru grapples onto Tsuyu's breasts twice. He gets dunked on the first time. He gets nearly drowned the second time. We laugh... but it's not because Minoru is funny. Seriously, dark humor is one thing, but Minoru's actions are just plain creepy and borderline sexual harrassment. The fact that he nearly has to die to get us laughing doesn't help matters (he's scum, but scum should face long lasting consequences, not temporary bouts of comedic violence).

Changing Rooms

Almost forgot about this one. Minoru tries to peep on the girls. Kyoka notices and skewers his eye. We laugh. Not because Minoru's funny, but because we're suppose to enjoy his suffering. Imagine if everyone DIDN'T bash him upside the head! (There would probably be content apathy if there wasn't at least a small outcry for reprimands, to be honest.)

Obstacle Course

Minoru clasps onto Momo's gym uniform to pass the Obstacle Course, and he has a nosebleed. Momo calls him the worst. Again, relying on the fact that "Minoru sux" in order to get a laugh. That's sad.

Class Rankings

Mina says it best: guys like Minoru are only endearing when they're stupid, or something along those lines. If they're stupid, that lowkey implies that he has the potential to learn better. But Minoru already knows a lot, which os MORE unsettling than the alternative. Now, common sense doesn't equal intelligence, but the fact that Minoru is considered smart when he continually makes the stupid decision to try and get some in horrible ways is just... the worst.

Swimming Pool

Minoru and Denki collaborate on getting a view of the girls in swimsuits. (Before you bring it up, yes, Denki is also a perv character, but unlike Minoru, he actually has more going for his personality instead of just having a running gag joke define 90% of his character. And the most Denki's done on his own is attempting (and failing) to flirt with other girls.) Denki and Minoru are shocked when the rest of the boys show up, and Denki is disheartened to find that the girls are wearing school-issued swimsuits. Minoru, of course, finds the scene nice nonetheless. This is less of a "HAHA!" moment and more of a "*groan*" moment.

Hot Springs

Minoru tries to violate the girls' privacy just so he can see them naked. Luckily Kota is there to stop him. He swats Minoru off the wall, leading him to fall pathetically back to Earth. And we never speak of it again. You see a pattern with his stunts yet? Also, Tenya did not deserve what he got at the end of that scene.

Provisional License Exam

Granted, this is where Minoru is at his least perverted, but he still finds a way to be annoying. "The hierarchy is falling!" Oh gee, it's not like you had a tragic backstory and underwent actual character growth which helped you grow as a person, Minoru. You being smug is doing nothing to help your character.

Before The Interview

In the anime exclusive season premiere of Season 4, Minoru starts creepily talking about a potential female reporters breasts, before he gets restrained by Mr. Aizawa. While most of us thank him for stopping the pervert's actions, keep in mind that this is the one of the few times Mr. Aizawa ever tries to actually do anything to curb Minoru's behavior. Then again, since Horikoshi likes Minoru and Katsuki, they basically get immunity from Mr. Aizawa's actual character.

Joint Training Arc Aftermath

Sometime during the JTA, Minoru ricochets off of Mina's chest. Mina (rightfully) calls him out at this, and we're later treated to a scene with Minoru in a straightjacket with his eyes forced open while Mina keeps an eye on him. Physical punishment will do nothing to Minoru; at this rate he'll develop an immunity. What he needs are concrete consequences that will actually get him to think about not being perverted.

Izuocha Reaction

This moment is... admittedly tame. After Izuku and Ochako share a fist bump in Chapter 256, Minoru makes this weird gremlin face while asking himself what's going on. It's harmless at first... until you remember that Minoru is a shameless pervert who has a vain physical infatuation with most girls, Ochako inclued. Minoru's reaction is basically an entitled Lv. 1 gamer looking at an experienced Lv. 50 and going, "Why the hell isn't that me?"

Of course, there are other moments where Minoru is perverted, but it isn't funny, a la he hopes to see Eri again in 10 years or something like that. I've heard he's been mellowing out a bit more in recent chapters, but I'll remain cautiously optimistic for now. The fact that his main shtick is that we should despise him, and therefore laugh at his karma, is... kinda sad. That type of thing could work for a villain or a really unlikable character, but the fact that Minoru is a supporting character who we see progress with his classmates with very little growth in his character? What a waste... Moving on, then.

Katsuki Bakugo

Ah, King Explosion Murder. Most of you will know how I despise him. And unfortunately, part of the reason is similar to why I don't like Minoru:

His AnGeRy BoI tantrums get old really quick. Let me explain.

Catchphrases

"DIE!" "I'LL KILL YOU!" "EXTRA!" If you've been paying attention to Katsuki, he says these things s lot. He's been letting go of "extra" recently, but he'll still spew the first two comments without hesitation. He probably doesn't mean it literally, but that doesn't warrant his excessive aggression. It's one of the worst character traits I've seen in a while to be honest, and it's heavily concerning that a 15 (now 16) year-old has this kind of mindset. The fact that it's played for laughs ("DIE!" or "GO TO HELL!" while Izuku states deadpan off to the side) isn't any more assuring.

Gremlin Face

Katsuki will do this for a multitude of reasons. His base appearance treads a fine line between pretty boy and disgruntled madman, but when Katsuki gets more pissed then usual, he goes full gremlin. The faces are somewhat funny out of context, but they're kind of petty in context.

Bus Ride

The kids call out Katsuki on the bus ride to the USJ. This is basically a way to tell the readers that Katsuki isn't much of a big shot anymore, but the fact that it ultimately holds no water later down the line is... disappointing. Within several chapters, people will be flocking to him, regardless of his garbage personality.

Eijiro's Analysis

Eijiro brings up how Katsuki should be all "DIE! DIE! DIE!" while they're fighting villains, to which Katsuki ironically responds in kind. It's a "Bakugo sux LOL" moment, but the fact that this is how likely most students see him and they STILL flock to him is just... wut? Plus, Eijiro was originally skeptical of Katsuki after the Battle Trial, and his sudden support of Katsuki here is... half-heartedly executed. And while Katsuki has shown that he treasures the relationship he has with Eijiro to a degree, it's pretty clear that Eijiro holds it in a much higher regard.

Less Than The Best

Gremlin face returns when Katsuki gets 3rd (and therefore not 1st) in the Sports Festival's Obstacle Course. Katsuki screams when he gets 2nd (and therefore not 1st) in the Cavalry Battle. It's "funny" now, but I fear for the day when this guy has to regularly do interviews and doesn't get the Number One Hero spot for the first few months (if he ever gets it at all).

Sore Winner

This is probably the one joke I can say is the least funny. Everybody remembers the whole Katsuki in bindings and acting like an animal bit, right? Yeah, no one is sane in this universe... And even if Katsuki's desire to reject the first place medal is understandable, he isn't exactly cordial about the whole thing (I mean, I'd be miffed if someone had be bound like that, but I doubt more growling is gonna get him out... the teachers need help). And then we still see him with the medal in his mouth sometime later, and Gremlin face show up when the class is talking internships. Where's the therapist again?

Teeth

Katsuki telling the germs in his mouth to die as he's brushing his teeth. It's only funny because of the absurdity of the notion. In reality, telling microscopic organisms to straight up die in such a threatening manner is hella concerning. See "Catchphrases" for why I still don't think this is okay.

Knife

One of the more tame jokes. Katsuki's good with knives, Ochako brings it up, Katsuki is offended. Honestly, I'd prefer more of this type of humor compared to... whatever Katsuki's doing right now.

I'll Kill Him

It's an exam, Katsuki, AN EXAM! This moment during the Provisional License Exam is only funny for a moment, because when you think about it, the purple dude has a point (even if he's still a stuck-up elitist) and Katsuki would have failed if Eijiro and Denki didn't follow after him. Still, does he think he can get away with saying he'll kill villains in the actual Hero world? Good gravy...

Stop Being Nice

This is a trend we've seen post-Deku vs. Kacchan 2. Izuku complements Katsuki or makes a remark about him. Katsuki proceeds to tell him to back off in some or fashion. If it's his winter costume, Katsuki will chew the speech bubble. He'll reflexively tell Izuku to get out of his way. When Izuku mentions Katsuki's technique, Katsuki will tell Izuku to stay away from him. I know some of Izuku's habits are borderline-stalking, but he's not being overtly creepy. And in a narrative where Izuku and Katsuki are supposed to be "good friends," this does a poor job of showing it.

Ninja Star

Katsuki looses his temper when Izuku brings up Blackwhip, and throws one of his head pieces at Izuku like a ninja star. Izuku gets injured, but the entire thing is played off like a nice joke. Except it isn't. Izuku wasn't about to spill anything about OFA when he talked about Black Whip; Katsuki's just stupidly jealous and annoyed when anyone like Izuku talks for too long about their achievements. It's basically telling readers that Izuku's gonna get shoved around for having pride in himself. That sucks...

I Win

The latest incarnation of Gremlin face, and Katsuki's stupid winner's complex in general. I've already talked about it in this post, but Katsuki's assertions in Chapter 257 were highly immature and disrespectful. All Might tells the boys about the OFA users and their short lives, how they weren't chosen ones but were still entrusted with the Quirk, hoping to pass it on and hoping to beat AFO. What does Katsuki say about them? They had lame Quirks; they were a bunch of nobodies. He goes out of his way to tell Izuku he'll lag behind while mastering the next Quirk while Katsuki ensures his victory. All if that "character development" and he still pulls stuff like this. How do I put this?

A few steps forward followed by long periods of regression is not character development, that's bad writing.

Katsuki's seemingly humorous outbursts would be terrifying in the real world. He's got serious issues and he needs help. His anger is no laughing matter. It'll hurt him, or rather, continue to hurt him. It's already hurt other people, and continues to do so.

TL;DR Katsuki and Minoru's one note humor is damaging to the narrative and to their characters, and unless it's properly addressed, it will continue to do so. Thank you for your time.

-Crimson Lion (19 January 2020)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou #minoru mineta #character analysis #meta #rant #vent #long post #anti bakugo #anti bakugou #anti minoru #anti minoru mineta

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midnight-writ3r · 4 years

Text

Boy got horns

Kim Doyoung x Genderneutral reader

Summary: Doyoung appears in your life without warning, bringing with him a series of unusual happenings. You quickly find out he's mean, smug and narcissistic - he basically screams god complex.

Oh, how ironically wrong you are.

Warnings: Bullying! Also, a little bit of blood/gore but it is SUPER tame and not described.

Genre: Fluff, Crack, supernatural

A/N: Lmao I have no idea where I'm going/was gonna go with this, but it was stuck in my head and I had fun writing for Doyoungie 💕💕 so enjoy this pointless piece of literature!

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The first time you meet Doyoung is in class on the first day of the new school year. From the first moment you can tell there is something strange about him though. For several reasons, really.

First of all, the teacher never bothered to introduce him to the rest of the class, as she would normally do with new students. If she didn't look at him or question him every now and then, you would have thought she doesn't see him at all. Yet, they're interacting, as if that strange boy had been there for years now. All casual.

Then there's the rest of the students. You might be an outsider, but you know your classmates. Enough at least, to find it odd that such an eye candy managed to sit all by himself at the back of the class. Usually, girls and boys would crowd around him, as they do with Jaehyun, one of the more popular students in your year. And the oddest thing about it, is that he doesn't seem to even mind. The contrary actually:

He seems awfully pleased at being on his own. From back there, he can look over the whole class and there is this superior look on his face. When he even goes as far as to lounge his legs on his desk, he looks nothing short of a bratty King, sunk into his throne.

It itches you to talk to him, to question him and to prove to yourself that you're imagining too much into this situation. There's just one problem.

"Morning pugly." you ignore the nasty snicker of some of your classmates at the corner.

You'd never be able to gather the courage to talk to Doyoung. Even if you did, your classmates would probably take any chance they get to embarrass you in front of him. And what for? A brief glance of notice? A smile? With how gloomy his gaze is, youre not even sure if the guy has it in him to smile.

With a brief huff you push your glasses back up your nose, "Good to see you back gollum, you give me a good laugh all year." a girl sneered, as she passes your desk.

Ignoring that and many other comments that follow, you sit through the rest of class. A couple of times paper balls, with mean messages written onto them, would hit your head and you'd discreetly throw them in the trash. By now, you were really good at aiming at the trash can in the corner, without the teachers noticing.

A sting on your scalp rips you out of your stupor. The guy sitting behind you pulled your hair. You briefly turn around to throw them a threatening glare.

However, before you can do that, something odd happens.

Through the open window of your classroom, a swift shadow appears and darts right for the guy. It's a raven, you realize with a gasp. It's clawing at the guy's face, even as he tries to fight it off. The teacher and the rest of the class all errupt into panicked screams and shouts, as you watch in awe, how the raven rips out a chunk of hair from the guy's scalp and flies back out of the window. Everyone is in a frenzy.

Except him.

He's laughing into his palm, like he is purposefully doing a bad job of concealing it. You stare at him in confusion and also slight terror. When he notices, he gives you a smirk and you quickly turn away.

What the hell? What was that?

The guy is sent to the nurse immediately and, just to make sure he gets there without anymore bird attacks, the teacher accompanies him. In truth, you guess she just really doesn't want to stay in that classroom any longer. Nothing to blame her for, really.

However, you know what happens when there are no teachers around and you dread it more than anything. After everyone has finally calmed down and went back to getting bored again, the people start crowding your desk.

"That sick bird shoulda gotten you, I bet it would get a good nest in this thing you call your hair."

"Not to be mean, but you definitely need a makeover. Or maybe ten."

"Maybe I can help with that?" the girl who had called you gollum before, pulls her gum from her mouth. You grimace, but a pair of hands on your shoulders prevent you from moving. No matter how hard you try, you can't scramble away, when she reaches out, to smear the gum in your hair.

You close your eyes. When they leave you alone, you can just cut it out with scissors. Maybe you even manage to wash it out.

But the gum never comes. Instead, what comes is a surprised gasp. You open your eyes, just in time to see Doyoung taking the girl's gum and placing it on her own forehead. However, the sound that follows is neither disgust nor anger.

It's a scream of pure anguish.

When your big eyes look at the girl's forehead, there is steam levitating into the air and you hear a small sizzling noise. Suddenly, there's a sickening smell of burned skin in the room.

The girl stumbles back, trying to rip the gum off, as Doyoung watches her with a thoughtful pout, "You humans are so narrow minded. Finding pleasure in hurting others..." he smirks to himself, "I thought that was exclusively our thing."

When his eyes flicker to you with a warmer version of his smile you can't help but flinch. Either he doesn't notice or he doesn't care, "Come on, let's get out of here. There's no fun people around and the teacher is busy making out with the janitor."

You gape at him. So do the other students around you. "Look, stay here and get tormented if you want to. I'll get some ice cream." Everyone has formed a tight circle around you, Doyoung and the girl, but when he steps towards the classroom door, they jump apart as if he were a lion, ready to pounce.

Still confused beyond belief, you stare at the girl, who's silently crying and peeling the remains of gum from her forehead. Then, as if stung by a bee, you pack your things and run after him.

"How did you do it?" you pant, when you finally catch up to him.

He gives you a curled smirk, "How did I do what?"

"D-don't play dumb with me! That gum had at least a hundred degrees!" you stress.

Passing through the halls and towards the school's entrance, he nods in thought, "Odd things happen."

You puff out your cheeks in exasperation, "They happen around you!"

"About that, you're right." He says and stretched his hand to you, when you finally make it out of the building, "I'm Doyoung, by the way."

You're almost scared to touch him, because, what if his hand is as hot as that gum? But when you shake his hand, it's pleasently warm and soft, "Y/N."

"Nice to meet you." Doyoung smiles again and turns away. You don't follow him right away, so he leaves you standing there.

"Thank you!" you shout, when he's almost at the street and you finally think of catching up to him.

As if not knowing a thing, he lifts a brow, "For?"

"Don't think I didn't notice." you say and when he humms, as if to prompt you to continue, you explain: "I don't know how you did it, but you helped me. You... Defended me."

Rolling his eyes, he says: "How adorable, you think I did this for you."

Ignoring the sting in your chest, you ask: "Why then?"

"Entertainment." he leans down, so close that your noses almost touch, "You've gotta admit, the look on their faces was very funny."

Doyoung laughs at your taken aback expression and the flush you're pretty sure you're sporting right now. Without another word, he turns to walk further.

You follow him wordlessly. There's a little awkwardness from your side and you wonder why you're following him around, like a lost pup. He doesn't seem to mind though and the two of you walk in silence for a few minutes.

Soon, you reach a familiar area that you like to frequent with your best friend Taeyong a lot; a long street, filled with an old-fashioned market. Booths with veggies, bread, candy and all kinds of hand crafted goods line both sides, so far down the street that you can't even see the end from the start. The sky above you is filled to the brim with clouds. It's a little chilly, but for now you seem safe from rain.

Doyoung heads right for an ice cream booth and orders a cone with chocolate and vanilla. Then he turns to you, "Y/N will pay, since I've been such a good friend today."

The guy working the ice cream booth looks at you with a bored expression. You're still taken aback, but you manage to scramble for your wallet. Only when Doyoung is happily licking on his ice cream and the two of you walk further down the market street, does it occur to you what you just did.

"Why, you-"

"One hand washes the other and such." Doyoung says, as if that's a sufficient explanation, "Like you said, I helped you."

You sigh and decide you can handle the three bucks spent on Doyoung's delighted expression.

"Why did you let them pick on you like that?" he suddenly asks.

You take a moment, "I... I just don't think I should encourage them to do worse."

"You think that'll happen?"

"If I piss them off enough to actually want to hurt me" you shrug, "Jup, I'm guessing that's what would happen."

He humms and starts munching on the cone, "Only if you don't do it properly."

"What do you mean."

Crunch, crunch, "You have to put them in their place."

You laugh, taken aback, "You sound like a dictator."

"I'm just following my principles." he shrugs, "after my little tricks, they will definitely not come for you, if I'm around. But I have better things to do, than devote my time to being your bodyguard."

"Understandable." You scratch the back of your head awkwardly, "for real though, are you a magician or something?"

He laughs, wide and bright and you decide it's unexpectedly nice, "No, not a magician."

"So you're not a magician and neither are you a dictator", tilting your head, you look at him, "Are you a fairy? Or a spirit maybe? God?"

He chokes on his ice cream cone and then laughs so hard, it's like you've said the funniest and absurdist thing ever, "No, thankfully, I'm not god." When he looks at you, his gaze is smug, "I'm surprised you haven't caught up yet. Let me give you a hint."

He winks and above you, a bolt of lightning drenches the world in white. You gasp. There, behind his back is a dark shape, bigger than even his whole body. A pair of wings, you realize with your heart pounding like crazy. But not only that. There, between his fluffy, black hair, a pair of pointy shapes contrasts against the white sky.

Horns.

You gulp, when you meet his eyes again. They're drenched in a red glow and paired with this sinister smirk, the answer finally comes to you. But the words get stuck in your throat, disbelief and fear clouding your mind beyond use. His wings flutter softly, as he speaks them for you:

"I am the devil."

-*- FIN -*-

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moviemunchies · 4 years

Photo

Around the time of the release of the 2019 remake of The Lion King there was a conversation about animating animals for the big screen. See, one of the complaints many critics had with the animals in Disney’s remake was that they weren’t the least bit expressive. The defense replied that the point was to make the animals look realistic, and realistic animals don’t emote or display recognizable human emotions. This is a pretty weak argument though, as has been pointed out, because we have seen realistic-looking animals emote a decade before 2019’s The Lion King, and one of the examples listed was a little-known 2010 CGI family film called Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, based off of the children’s book series by Kathryn Lasky.

Also it’s directed by Zack Snyder. Yes, that Zack Snyder.

The story goes a lot like this: in a world populated by anthropomorphic animals, two young barn owl brothers, Soren and Kludd, don’t exactly get along. Soren’s a bit too obsessed with stories about a legendary group of owl warriors called the Guardians of Ga’Hoole for Kludd’s taste, but much to his chagrin, Soren turns out to be more talented at early attempts to fly. But when the two fall out of their tree home, they’re captured by other owls part of a hostile faction calling themselves the Pure Ones, who are forcefully recruiting owls to be either soldiers or slaves. Soren, along with a smaller elf owl named Gylfie, manage to escape and are told to seek out the Guardians of Ga’Hoole themselves in order to convince them to stop the Pure Ones and stop them from taking over the owls’ world.

[Also quick side note: this movie takes place in/around Australia? Or a fantasy location heavily based upon it. The wildlife includes Tasmanian devils, echidnas, and dingos, all things that are pretty exclusive to that part of the world. It doesn’t affect anything I just thought I’d throw that in there.]

So first things first: this movie is beautiful. It is gorgeous. If for no other reason than that, I urge you to see this film. The textures of this film look so good, you almost feel as if you could reach and feel the fluffy feathers of these owls. That, along with the spectacular set pieces like the battles, the training, and extended flight sequences, make this movie a work of art, and I’m disappointed that I never saw it in theaters and that it didn’t do well enough to warrant a sequel. There are rainstorms and wildfires and owls and bats duking it out with clawed gauntlets and blades! And it all looks incredible! I don’t know that I’ve seen anything like this movie.

That being said, I don’t think that Plot-wise, anything will surprise you that much. For a fantasy adventure movie this follows most of the beats you’d be expecting. And that’s fine! But if you’re a person who wants a fantasy that’s deconstructionist or subverts your expectations, you’re not getting it here.

No, the thing that makes this movie stand out is that it’s almost entirely about owls. There are less than a handful of minor characters that aren’t, but the majority are incredibly expressive, creative owls. Everything you expect from epic fantasy is there: an order of warriors with specialized armor that fight evil, an epic journey across a dangerous landscape, slow motion in action sequences (this is Zack Snyder after all), and villains that are not-so-thinly-veiled Nazis.

I’m not kidding, the Pure Ones believe that their species of owl, the Tytos (barn owls), are superior to other species and are planning on conquering all other owls and enslaving them. Their leader Metalbeak is preaching on about how the strong must subjugate the weak, and his mate is a pure white owl called Nyra, which you’ll notice is ‘Aryan’ backwards with only one ‘a’ in it.

Where the film falters for me is that it doesn’t do that great a job of establishing the relationship between the two brothers, Soren and Kludd, and particularly Kludd’s own psychology. When they get shanghai’d into the Pure Ones, Soren immediately tries to get out of there, and Kludd does his best to stay in line in order to save his own life. Pretty soon, Kludd starts buying into the lines they’re feeding him though. The beginning of the film establishes that he’s a bit of a douche, and he’s envious of the positive attention his brother gets. But it seems a bit of a leap to see him jump into full-on evil and owl racism. In short, by the end of the film I’m not sure I buy that he got to where he is, and that’s a bit frustrating.

The passage of time is also a bit iffy in this film. This is a common problem with movies, especially ones trying to tell stories of an epic scale, so it didn’t bother me that much, but the trip to the giant tree where the Guardians roost is explicitly an epicly long journey. Except once the heroes find it, owls zoom there and back as quickly as they need to for the Plot to work. It sticks out like a sore thumb, especially when Soren and his friends rush there for the final battle.

Overall though? This film is a fantastic family movie. No, I don’t think that the Plot will blow you out of the water, but this movie will stick with you because it’s the rare example of a big budget fantasy film that doesn’t visually fit the mold. You don’t see a lot of movies that are this creative with their aesthetics. It’s miles ahead of any “live-action” CGI animal movie that Disney’s released in the past couple of years, and I recommend that you stream it on Netflix while you can.

#Movie Munchies #Legend of the Guardians #owls #Zack Snyder

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erikahenningsen · 4 years

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Underrated musicals and plays you should check out

Happy quarantine everyone! I’ve been thinking about making a post like this for a long time now and what better time to do it then when we’re all stuck inside.

INDECENT

Play or musical? Play.

What’s it about? Indecent is a play by Paula Vogel. It recounts the controversy surrounding the Yiddish play God of Vengeance by Sholem Asch, which was produced on Broadway in 1923, for which the cast of the original production was arrested on the grounds of obscenity. God of Vengeance was the first kiss between two women on Broadway.

Why should I check this out? The writing is beautiful and the structure is seamless, balancing emotion, comedy, music, and drama effortlessly. It’s one of the best-directed shows I’ve ever seen (the direction rightfully won a Tony Award). Each actor plays several characters (and several play their own instruments) brilliantly and distinctly. Jewish culture is front and center, and there there is a canon WLW couple in both Indecent and God of Vengeance. Indecent is hilarious one moment and devastating the next. You will not be able to stop thinking about this play after watching it.

How can I watch this show? Indecent has a proshot available on the PBS website, or you can ask me for a link to my copy of it.

Can I buy the text? Yes.

Is there a cast recording? Yes.

COME FROM AWAY

Play or musical? Musical.

What’s it about? Come From Away is a musical by Irene Sankoff and David Hein. It is set in the week following the September 11 attacks and tells the true story of what transpired when 38 planes were ordered to land unexpectedly in the small town of Gander in the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada, as part of Operation Yellow Ribbon. The characters in the musical are based on (and in most cases share the names of) real Gander residents as well as some of the 7,000 stranded travelers they housed and fed.

Why should I check this out? Come From Away is one of the best-written musicals I’ve ever seen. The pacing is perfect and every person in the cast plays at least three different characters seamlessly. The music is incredibly unique, as it is heavily influenced by Newfoundland folk music. You will laugh. You will cry. You will have the music stuck in your head for two weeks. The only problem with watching Come From Away during quarantine is it will make you want to give the special people in your life a hug.

How can I watch this show? Come From Away is currently playing on Broadway, in the West End, on tour across the US, and in Toronto, Melbourne, and Sydney. There are several video bootlegs that aren’t hard to find.

Can I buy the text? I don’t think so. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Is there a cast recording? Yes.

CHOIR BOY

Play or musical? Play.

What’s it about? Choir Boy is a play by Tarell Alvin McCraney, who is best known for co-writing the Oscar-winning screenplay of Moonlight, the movie based on his play, In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue. Choir Boy follows Pharus, a gay teenager at an all-black, all-boys boarding school. Pharus has just been elected the lead of his school choir, a very high honor. Though Pharus is lauded for his vocal talent, his classmates do not all respond well to his flamboyance and confidence. Choir Boy is a story centered on relationships that asks what it means to be a young, gay, black man in America.

Why should I check this out? One of the most devastatingly beautiful pieces of theatre I have ever seen, Choir Boy is overflowing with fantastic monologues, hilarious one-liners, and gorgeous a cappella songs with some really dope step choreography. Tarell McCraney is the master of writing heartfelt, realistic romantic and platonic love between men of color.

How can I watch this show? Choir Boy is gaining popularity as a regional show. Unfortunately there is no video bootleg in circulation, and although I am absolutely positive MTC has one, there is no proshot. There are a lot of official clips on YouTube and if you message me privately I can give you an audio recording of the show.

Can I buy the text? You can buy the pre-Broadway version of the play. We have not been successful in finding a Broadway copy of the text, although I do have one I got at flea that was part of a Tony voters package.

Is there a cast recording? No, and I’m mad about it.

THE WRONG MAN

Play or musical? Musical.

What’s it about? The Wrong Man started as a concept album by Ross Golan, and he expanded on it to create a 90-minute musical. Duran, a man down on his luck in Reno, Nevada, meets Mariana at a bar one night. They become romantically involved and make plans to leave Reno together. However, Mariana's violent ex-husband has just been released from prison, and when he finds out about their relationship, he frames Duran for murder.

Why should I check this out? The Wrong Man is completely sung-through and it is bops on bops on bops. There is not a dull song in this show and the orchestrations (by Alex Lacamoire of Hamilton fame) are gorgeous. The choreography (by Travis Wall) is my favorite I have ever seen. Joshua Henry, Ciara Renée, and Ryan Vasquez can sing literally anything. This show also did something really unique where they had Ryan Vasquez play the role of Duran once or twice a week.

How can I watch this show? There is a video bootleg that is NFT until July 15th, but I can give you the master’s information if you’d like to purchase it now. Message me privately for audio.

Can I buy the text? No.

Is there a cast recording? Not yet. We’ve gotten some hints that there may be one coming soon. You can listen to the concept album, but it’s quite different from the show and I’d recommend listening to the audio first.

THE SCOTTSBORO BOYS

Play or musical? Musical.

What’s it about? The Scottsboro Boys is a musical with a book by David Thompson, music by John Kander and lyrics by Fred Ebb, based on the Scottsboro Boys trial.

Why should I check this out? The Scottsboro Boys is one of those shows that sounds like it wouldn’t work at all (and I think that unfortunately is most of the reason why it did so poorly on Broadway) but is actually brilliant. It is one of the sharpest, most poignant pieces of satire I’ve ever seen. The balance of comedy and the heartbreaking subject matter creates an incredibly powerful pieces of art. I saw a small regional production in a black box theater and it’s still one of my favorite things I’ve ever seen.

How can I watch this show? You may be able to catch this show at a regional theater. I think there may possibly be a bootleg, but I’m not sure if this is in circulation in any digital form. I don’t personally have audio of the show, but I’m sure it’s out there. There are some official clips on YouTube.

Can I buy the text? I don’t think so.

Is there a cast recording? There is an Off-Broadway cast recording and a London cast recording

ANGELS IN AMERICA: A GAY FANTASIA ON NATIONAL THEMES

Play or musical? Play.

What’s it about? I know it is a bit crazy to be calling Angels in America underrated as it has been around forever and literally won the Tony, Drama Desk, and Pulitzer and the revival won the Tony, but I feel that it’s underrated on tumblr and among young people. Angels in America is a two-part play (individually titled Millennium Approaches and Perestroika) by Tony Kushner. It a complex, often metaphorical, and at times symbolic examination of AIDS and homosexuality in America in the 1980s. Certain major and minor characters are supernatural beings (angels) or deceased persons (ghosts). The play contains multiple roles for several of the actors. Initially and primarily focusing on a gay couple in Manhattan, the play also has several other storylines, some of which occasionally intersect.

Why should I check this out? The camp! The drama! The comedy! The devastation! The OG comedy featuring Mormons. Iconic monologues and dialogue. The entire play is about eight hours long, and I would have happily sat through it with no breaks. Nobody will ever write a more epic play.

How can I watch this show? The most recent revival was filmed by the National Theatre when it was in London. I’m not sure if there’s a way to stream it online but I have a copy I can link you to. There’s also a Broadway revival bootleg.

Can I buy the text? Yes.

Is there a cast recording? N/A

A STRANGE LOOP

Play or musical? Musical.

What’s it about? A Strange Loop is about an usher at The Lion King on Broadway who is also named Usher, who is writing a self-referential musical called A Strange Loop. Usher is an overweight, overwhelmed “ball of black confusion” trying to navigate without a compass the hierarchical white, black and gay worlds; his family’s religion, which condemns him for his sexuality; and an entertainment industry that isn’t interested in what he has to say. He’s also having an existential crisis as he deals with questions of reality, illusions, perceptions and identity. His biggest fear is that he’s stuck in an endless cycle of hopelessness where change is not possible.

Why should I check this out? It’s hard to talk about A Strange Loop with people who haven’t seen it because it is truly unlike any other show I have ever seen. It starts out seeming like a musical comedy about identity, but it gets more intense as the show goes on until you’re crying next to a stranger and wondering how the hell you even got there. It’s brilliant.

How can I watch this show? Unfortunately there is no video bootleg, but you can ask me for an audio. Some clips are available on YouTube.

Can I buy the text? No.

Is there a cast recording? Yes. I recommend reading this as you go along so the songs make more sense because they’re pretty wild out of context (they’re pretty equally as wild in context).

SCHOOL GIRLS; OR, THE AFRICAN MEAN GIRLS PLAY

Play or musical? Play.

What’s it about? Paulina, the reigning queen bee at Ghana’s most exclusive boarding school, has her sights set on the Miss Global Universe pageant. But the arrival of Ericka, a new student with undeniable talent and beauty, captures the attention of the pageant recruiter—and Paulina’s hive-minded friends.

Why should I check this out? School Girls is one of the funniest plays I have ever seen. The writing is so smart, and the show deals with racism (both on an interpersonal and worldwide level), colorism, body image, sex and gender, class, and inequality.

How can I watch this show? PBS recently released the proshot on their website. I don’t have a ripped copy yet, so if anyone does have one please send it my way. Regional theaters have been doing this show as well.

Can I buy the text? Yes.

Is there a cast recording? N/A

Play or musical? Musical.

What’s it about? Following a move from New York City to small-town Indiana, young Evan Goldman grapples with his parents' divorce, prepares for his impending Bar Mitzvah, and navigates the complicated social circles of a new school.

Why should I check this out? It’s Jason Robert Brown, so the music slaps. It’s the only Broadway musical ever with a cast and band entirely made of teenagers. Plus it has baby Ariana Grande and Liz Gillies in their Broadway debuts. 13 walked so so many other musicals about teens could run.

How can I watch this show? There is a video bootleg that’s not hard to find. I’m sure there’s audio in circulation as well.

Can I buy the text? Yes.

Is there a cast recording? There is an Broadway cast recording and a West End cast recording

THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES

Play or musical? Musical.

What’s it about? Secret Life of Bees is a musical by Duncan Sheik and Lynn Nottage based on the novel of the same name. Haunted by memories of her late mother and abused by her father, 14-year-old Lily Owens runs away with her friend and caregiver Rosaleen to the South Carolina town that holds the key to her mother's past. There, Lily meets the Boatwright sisters, who take her in and teach her about beekeeping, honey, and the Black Madonna. Lily also discovers that the truth about her mother is closer than she thinks.

Why should I check this out? The music is so gorgeous. It’s one of my favorite Duncan Sheik scores. LaChanze is amazing at everything she does, and Elizabeth Teeter and Brett Gray are stars you need to be looking out for.

How can I watch this show? There is no video bootleg. You can message me privately for an audio.

Can I buy the text? No.

Is there a cast recording? No, but I really wish there was.

AMERICAN PSYCHO

Play or musical? Musical.

What’s it about? American Psycho is based on the 1991 novel of the same name and written by Duncan Sheik and Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. In New York City in 1987, a handsome, young urban professional, Patrick Bateman, lives a second life as a gruesome serial killer by night. The cast is filled by the detective, the fiancée, the mistress, the coworker (Jared Leto), and the secretary. This is a biting, wry comedy examining the elements that make a man a monster.

Why should I check this out? Listen, I won’t lie to you. There is a reason this musical is underrated, and that reason is because it is not good. But I love it. The fun comes from the knowledge that this campy, ridiculous, obscenely bloody show was on Broadway (briefly). Duncan Sheik went off the rails and wrote a techno musical! How can you not love that! Benjamin Walker gives the performance of his career and he did it mostly in his underwear! Heléne Yorke creates a character so grating you find yourself begging Patrick to kill her! They somehow got Alice Ripley AND Jenn Damiano to do this shitshow! I will maintain until the day I die that nobody can top American Psycho’s act one closer.

How can I watch this show? There are a couple of video bootlegs of the Broadway production, as well as some official clips on YouTube. I have an audio of the West End production that I can share.

Can I buy the text? No.

Is there a cast recording? There is tragically no Broadway cast recording, but there is a London cast recording.

#why did this take me two hours to write #i'm gwen and i approve this message

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growingpaynes-art · 5 years

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The Lion King 2019 Review: What I Liked, What I Didn’t, and How It Compares to the Original

Non-spoilery overview and note to anyone debating watching this-

If you’re looking for this film to give you something that the original didn’t, you will be disappointed. This is a nearly shot-for-shot exact recreation of the original for most of the movie. There are some minor changes, but no major differences in plot.

However

It’s definitely worth seeing- once on a matinee ticket at the very least- if you enjoyed anything about the original. It’s pretty faithful to the source material and the hyper-realism of the animation really is best viewed on a big screen. The comedy is solid, the changes they made to the story and characters were good decisions, and as a guy that was literally raised on the original movie and grew up loving every part of it, i did legitimately enjoy seeing this remake with my mother (who introduced me to the original when I was very little) and getting to share this story that I loved with my younger sister for the first time.

If all you are here for is the “Let’s Go Lesbians” guy you will be satisfied

Spoilers under the cut

What I Liked:

The visuals of the opening sequence alone are worth the price of admission. They’ve lovingly recreated the iconic intro nearly frame for frame in astounding detail. It really succeeded in taking me back to my three-year old self seeing the original for the first time on my family’s little box tv, captivated by the visuals and score.

Timon and Pumbaa were legitimately funny and are stronger characters than in the original.

They kept the aspects of Scar that made him sinister, conniving, and creepy without stepping into queer-coding territory. They also didn’t apply racial coding to him in the overt way they did in the original.

At first I was disappointed by Rafiki’s lack of a staff in the opening, but I was later pacified by its appearance for the final battle. I would however, have liked to see the “oh yes, the past can hurt” bit between him and Simba, which was absent in this version.

I felt that the introduction of the hyena characters in the elephant graveyard was stronger in this version, but i do wish that the chase scene had gone on for longer. It’s significantly shorter than the original, and the cubs don’t fight back like they did in the original.

The hyenas played a larger role where they had much more agency, and the relationship between them and Scar was on more equal footing. Shenzi was an especially welcome change, presenting a truly chilling presence easily rivaling Scar’s. Florence Kasumba’s performance really stands out. Additionally Eric Andre and Keegan-Michael Key’s hyena characters served as quality comic relief without any jokes straying into possible able-ism.

The ‘pinned-ya’ scenes were re-choreographed to be more like two kids wrestling and didn’t have the awkward sexual implications some people point out in the original.

This version offers a quick explanation as to why Scar is living with the pride despite the typical customs of real lions

The mouths were really animated very well, and were for the most part very expressive. They were a bit hard to track during the songs, but generally words were formed pretty believably in their mouths and expressions such as smiles or grimaces were rendered very clearly without looking foreign on an animal face. This was by far best achieved on Timon and the hyenas, but was decent on the lion cubs, Scar, and most of the minor characters as well. The other adult lions weren’t as expressive, but they’re weren’t terrible either.

The animation of Timon, Pumbaa, and the hyenas continually impressed impressed me throughout the course of the film. They were simultaneously the most consistently realistic looking and the most expressive. I honestly don’t understand why some people are coming for Pumbaa and saying he’s ‘nightmare fuel’, his design was both very friendly looking and accurate to real warthogs. He and Timon seemed to be the favorites of both the kids and adults in my theater.

The short scene where adult Simba gleefully pounces after a pair of butterflies and invites a scared Hartebeest hang out, oblivious to his own status as a carnivore, was pretty adorable.

Timon and Pumbaa were more or less confirmed to be a gay couple, and are shown with their own piglet during the ending sequence. This isn’t lingered on for longer than necessary, just long enough for you to appreciate how adorable the little striped piglet is, and thus it comes off as more genuine than performative allyship (it’s definitely better than Beauty and the Beast’s “exclusively gay moment” or Endgame’s Gay Joe Russo). It also helps that Timon isn’t being portrayed by a straight guy leaning as hard into the camp gay stereotype as possible. It was a moment that I, as a queer person, actually enjoyed.

What I Didn’t:

I felt that the musical score wasn’t as strong as the original. I wanted that first note over the sunrise to shake the theater, to bang across the screen in brilliant gold, and when it didn’t, I was disappointed. I felt this way regarding the score and soundtrack for much of the film.

While much of the dialogue matched the original nearly word for word, the delivery of most of it was much more subdued. I understand that they were going for a grittier tone that was less cartoon-y, but a lot of Scar and adult Simba’s lines seemed like they were mumbled off at the end of a work day and they’d just given up on trying to get a better take. Donald Glover seemed to teeter between Marshall Lee and complete disinterest a lot of the time.

I would have liked to have seen more of Rafiki than what we got, and I’d been hoping for an expansion on his role from the original rather than a reduction.

The “I killed Mufasa” bit was done very well- Chiwetel Ejiofor’s delivery of the line was chilling (although not as much as Jeremy Irons’), the expression in Scar’s eyes was very sinister, the light of the fire hit him just right. The following revelation of this truth to the lionesses however was bumbly, and seemed like it was originally written to be longer but was quickly and awkwardly condensed. It really didn’t flow as well as the original.

The end battle between Scar and Simba was anti-climactic. The choreography and visuals were much more creative and suspenseful in the original. The blows didn’t really have much weight or ferocity to them, and they didn’t coincide as well with the score. There also was no sick kick move, Scar literally just accidentally rolls off the cliff. The showdown between Nala and Shenzi is far better- it’s vicious and animalistic, with a few shots having them silhouetted with fire roaring behind them, Nala’s massive teeth shown off impressively in profile.

From the very first introduction of Scar, it’s strongly and very overtly implied that Sarabi is the one that gave him the scar after he attempted to advance on her despite her rejecting him. This is revisited again when he commands Sarabi to be his queen upon his assuming of the throne. She again rejects him. With this moment being played twice, I expected this to be a plant for a later third scene of Sarabi temporarily putting Scar back in his place, or at least threatening to take his other eye, to replace the scene from the original where he slaps her across the face. Scar and Sarabi do eventually come to blows as Simba and Nala return to Pride Rock, but it’s very brief and sort of just a clumsy grapple without a clear winner, and with no reference to their apparent backstory. This comes off as a case of planting without payoff. I expect that either a scene such as the one i described was originally planned and cut for time, or it was thought that the implications of such a scene might bring the film up towards a PG-13 rating.

I wish that in the more harrowing sequences, such as the elephant graveyard chase and the stampede scene, that we could see some real fear on the character’s faces. There’s some really good tensing of the body and some bared teeth, but there’s not much in the eyes. I feel the emotion would have been communicated better if the pupils were dilated, if the eyes were darting back and forth with the whites showing at the edges occasionally, the ears flattened down hard against the head.The child actors put forward some really believable fear and sadness through their voices, but the faces just didn’t quite match it. I do however understand that this is a kid’s film, and that showing a hyper-realistic lion cub gripped with sheer terror or coming to the understanding of the gravity of death is probably too much for most young kids. I personally just prefer to have truly heartwrenching, impactful, and emotional scenes in the media I consume, and I often walk away unfulfilled in this respect (although, i admit i am very difficult to please in this area- i’ve been a die-hard mcu fan for the better part of a decade and i left my first watch of infinity war almost completely unaffected.)

Continuing from the last point- The eyes on most of the characters were very static. They rarely blinked, only really looked straight ahead and lacked any range of expression beyond neutral and slightly squinted. The expression of emotion could have been greatly facilitated by the use of the brow muscles, dilating and contracting of the pupils, more squinting and widening, some side-eye or eye-rolling, etc. Even using some more body language would have made a world of difference (for example- an excited cub wriggling with excitement, his paws shifting and his little butt scooting in the sand because he just can’t contain himself, his shoulders shaking with high-pitched giggles) Emotion was delivered quite well through the mouths, but almost not at all through the eyes. This made the scene where Simba discovers his dead father especially awkward looking. JD McCrary delivers some heartbreaking cries and a few tear-choked lines, and the little cub body shakes and cowers, but Simba’s cgi face retains a completely neutral expression. Its a very cute, and perfectly realistic face for a lion cub, but it’s a face that feels inappropriate for this context. Adult Simba and Nala are the worst offenders in this respect. Simba looks almost like a plush doll, almost never changing expression at all. Nala looks superbly hyper-realistic, but... too realistic. She’s as perfect of a cgi lioness model you could possibly ask for, but because of this, there’s no intelligence in her eyes for some of the shots. It’s strange and distracting to hear a human voice come out as her mouth moves realistically while the eyes retain a vacant animal stare. This is really weird to me as there are multiple moments in the film where they absolutely nail the eyes- the sequence where Simba chases Rafiki through the dense jungle, several shots of Nala sneaking away from Pride Rock by moonlight, the close-up of Scar as he reveals to Simba that he killed Mufasa. The commonality between these shots seems to be strong directional lighting, where light from the moon or a fire can catch the irises and make the expression in them really pop. Closeups of Mufasa’s face showed that they had unprecedented control of the facial muscles- they moved with intricate complexity under the skin and fur- and yet the eyes were blank. It’s disappointing that they clearly had the capability to get the eyes right and apparently just didn’t allow the cg artists enough time to apply this consistently.

The slow motion zoom away from Simba’s face as he watches his father fall from the cliff face is admittedly ridiculous looking in cgi. This “long live the king” doesn’t come anywhere close to the original. Mufasa’s climb up the cliff is pretty good, but the fall feels flat and unemotional.

The sequence tracking the wad of Simba’s hair went on for too long.

The story seemed much faster paced than the original, and each scene seemed to be too short, leaving me wanting more. Some of the scenes feel awkwardly chopped or condensed, and some of the dialogue is a bit bumbly. This movie kinda relies on you being very familiar with the original.

#lion king #the lion king #lion king spoilers #lion king review #review

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imagitory · 5 years

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Review: The Lion King (2019) [spoilers]

NAAAAAANTS IGONYAMA BAGITI BABA -- !

Ahem. So...I just got back from seeing the new Lion King remake, and I guess it’s time to talk about it. For those of you who wish to avoid spoilers... *exhales heavily* how do I say this kindly, um -- you don’t need to go see this. Like, really, you don’t. Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but you would miss absolutely nothing watching the original instead of this one, and honestly, I think it’s fair to say you’ll have much more fun watching the original too. As much as I haven’t loved Disney’s line of recent remakes, I at least found something in most of the films I saw that I could praise, but with this one? I don’t recall ever being so utterly bored sitting in a movie theater in my life.

If you would like a more detailed opinion, here’s a cut!

The Good!

+For once, Disney decided to hire a cast full of singers that don’t require autotune, including Donald Glover, Billy Eichner, and of course Beyonce, as well as quite a few lovely people in the chorus like Brown Lidiwe Mkhize (who sang The Circle of Life). Even some of the performers with weaker singing voices like John Oliver were able to hold their own well enough.

+The voice acting overall wasn’t bad. I’ll have to leave it at that, though, since this is supposed to be the positive section.

+The Circle of Life and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? were well-performed, though I will be getting to other issues I had with them later.

+Zazu was actually given a bit more pathos rather than just exclusively being comic relief. He not only tries to protect Nala and Simba from the hyenas, but he also rushes to go get the lionesses when Simba’s in trouble, makes a distraction for Nala so she doesn’t get caught by Scar, and even helps a little more in the final battle. I won’t act like he was an improvement on the orginal exactly, as the best compromise would’ve been to have him be both funny and supportive, but at least there was an attempt to give him some depth.

+As much as I’ll critique the animation further down, I will give the animators credit for its realism. A lot of hard work was obviously put in, and it shows.

The Not-So-Good...

+The number one problem with this movie is, as I feared, the animation. I can respect that this is my opinion and many others might find some charm in how “real” everything looks, but I’m sorry -- musicals =/= realistic . Musicals are supposed to be over-the-top. They are supposed to be theatrical. Hell, even the Broadway production of The Lion King understood that to tell this story without animated lions, you had to treat it like a folktale. The story was never about lions -- it was a human story told with lions. The ideas of family -- responsibility -- duty -- leadership -- grief -- hope -- these are human values. The Lion King was inspired by Shakespeare’s Hamlet. It also has ripples of the Moses story, given that it revolves around someone running away from their home and responsibility, only to realize their true calling and go back to save their people. And you know something? I am positive that the filmmakers knew full well how ridiculous these National-Geographic-esque animated creatures would look suddenly bursting into song -- that’s why they tried at every single opportunity to depict the musical sequences in wide, impersonal shots that barely correspond to the rhythm or mood of the song at all. Unless it’s The Circle of Life, which is literally a shot-for-shot recreation of the original sequence accompanied by a song sung by none of the characters on screen, the only way that these supposedly “realistic” creatures could communicate energy or emotion during the song sequences was by running and climbing things. And in the end, it just looks lazy and dull. There’s no energy in either the shots or the editing. Hakuna Matata and I Just Can’t Wait to Be King suffer the most because of this, as those songs were so dependent on bright colors, spontaneity, and enthusiasm, but none of the songs are done justice with this animation.

+Another issue with the animation is in the characters themselves. As realistic as it looks in the textures of the fur and the way the animals move, it is utterly lifeless in practice. I swear to God, there are points where these animals looked stuffed, they’re so blank and hollow. You know those live action movies, like Cats and Dogs, where they would have real dogs and cats play the characters and then just “fix” their mouths with post-production CGI to make it look like they’re talking, even if their eyes and faces still end up looking so blank that it never looks like they’re saying what’s coming out of their mouths? THAT’S THE ENTIRE MOVIE. It didn’t matter how good the voice acting was, because it was invalidated by the lack of expression of the characters who were supposedly saying the lines. The only character in this movie who seemed to have any emotion in his eyes was Scar, and that was because his animated model was apparently given permission to narrow his eyes more, presumably to look more “eeeeeviiiiiiil~.” Even the hyenas were just given hollow black eyes that only ever looked alien and inhuman most of the time (clearly to remind you that they’re the bad guys) -- there were no emotions other than “mwehehehe we’re gonna eat you” on their faces the entire movie. But yeah, think of all the really emotional scenes in this movie. Think of Mufasa seeing Simba hanging on that tree -- the fear in his face as Simba almost loses his grip on the branch -- the pain and fear in Simba’s expression when Mufasa puts him up on a small ledge, only to get yanked backward by the wildebeest and disappear from view -- the struggle in Mufasa’s body language as he tries to climb up the edge of the gorge -- the betrayal and horror in Mufasa’s expression when Scar reveals his true colors -- the desperation, disbelief, horror, and grief in Simba’s face when he finds his father and screams at the open air for help. ...Yeah. Now imagine all of those scenes being acted out by EMOTIONLESS PUPPETS. That’s even what Mufasa looks like when he’s thrown backwards off the cliff -- a puppet. A scene that has left people in tears almost made me snort with laughter because of how bad it looked!

+The animation’s realism also, as others pointed out when the trailers first came out, made it very difficult to pick out individual characters. When Nala grew up, there wasn’t even a way to tell that she was the youngest of the lionesses -- they all looked like clones of each other. There’s a bit where one of the hyenas (I guess he’s supposed to be Banzai, but I guess he’s been renamed something else?) confuses Scar for Mufasa at a distance and I almost burst out laughing because it was like the movie characters themselves even realized how identical all of the lions look. Simba’s face “turning into Mufasa’s” in the water had no emotional impact at all because you could barely tell that anything had just happened.

+Geezus, and I thought that Beauty and the Beast took too many ideas from the original? Oh boy. This movie took so much from the original, it was like the filmmakers copied something they found on the Internet for a school assignment and then added and switched around a couple of lines just so they wouldn’t be accused of plagiarism. There were quite a few points while watching this where I was going, “Oooookay, and this is where Simba sees a lizard. ...Yup, there it is. He’s gonna try to roar twice. ...Yup, and...yup. And on the third try, he’s going to roar loud enough for it to echo, and we’ll cut to the top of the gorge. ...Called it. And wildebeest in three, two, one...” Now, of course, knowing what’s going to happen shouldn’t reduce suspense -- if anything, when something suspenseful is done well, it doesn’t matter if you know what happens, because now you’re excited to see those things happen. But in this? How could I be excited when they recycled almost every joke, almost every shot, almost every scene, only with half the energy and sincerity? Even Beauty and the Beast tried to throw in some twists now and again, even if I didn’t end up liking most of them...the only things I can think of in regards to “changes” were some extra scenes that didn’t add much of anything, such as Scar leaning even more into his “Claudius” role and trying to court Simba’s mother Sarabi. Oh, and on that note...

+...The original movie was about an hour and a half long. This one was two hours. You want to know how they stretched that run-time out? Largely by adding in extended nature sequences. Perhaps if you really like the “realistic” animation, you might enjoy the gratuity of it, but some of them just got ridiculous. Remember how in the original, Scar caught a mouse and kind of taunted it? Now we get almost a whole minute just watching the mouse running around and doing nothing before Scar even shows up. Remember how we got a short, smooth transition from Pride Rock to Rafiki’s tree with a rainfall and soothing music? Have one that’s twice as long and is devoid of any of the epic, solemn atmosphere. Remember how we got a cute little giggle when Timon and Pumbaa sang The Lion Sleeps Tonight, only for it to get interrupted by Nala’s arrival? Now that song is treated like a full musical number with lots of danc -- sorry, walking around aimlessly, because it’d be stupid if animals actually danced or something. Remember how Simba collapses into some leaves, which sets loose some dust which in a ten-second-long cut scene is blown through the wind into Rafiki’s hand? Now it lasts almost two whole minutes and involves a tuft of Simba’s fur landing in a river, being picked up by a bird, becoming stuffing in a nest, being tossed out of the nest, being accidentally eaten by a giraffe, being shat out by that giraffe, being picked up by a dung beetle -- OH, COME ON. NOW YOU’RE JUST SEARCHING FOR EXCUSES TO DRAG THIS MOVIE OUT.

+I love James Earl Jones, but he should not have reprised his role as Mufasa. I’m sorry, but the man is 88 years old now, and he just sounded so tired. He didn’t show even half of the energy and enthusiasm he had playing the part the first time. If he was Simba’s grandfather, that’d be one thing, but he’s not. Half of what makes Mufasa’s death so tragic is how alive and young he seemed and how close his bond was with his friends Rafiki and Zazu and his family Simba and Sarabi, but thanks to Jones’s low-key performance and the lack of emotion in Mufasa’s animation, all of that is lost.

+Just like with Jafar in the recent Aladdin remake, this movie tries to give Scar some depth, but the halfhearted attempt only serves to take away what made Scar a great villain in the first place -- namely, his dry wit, ruthlessness, talent for manipulation, dynamic attitude, arrogance, immaturity, and most of all passion. Combine this not-deliciously-evil-but-definitely-not-sympathetic characterization with such bland animation that neither conveys energy or intrigue, and we’re once again left with a very forgettable, uninteresting villain. Come on, Disney, you used to be so good at writing villains -- just because you’re trying to make a more “realistic” story doesn’t mean your villain can’t crack a smile every-so-often, geezus!

+If Sarabi was chasing off hyenas with the lionesses, how in the world did she and the lionesses get back to Pride Rock fast enough for them to be lounging around when Simba came to get Nala? Scar and Simba’s interaction isn’t nearly long enough to encompass Sarabi finishing up with the hyenas and returning home. This is a problem that comes from how much this remake copies from the original -- because it wants so many scenes to play out identically to the original, it gives any subtle line changes the writers do make the potential to create plot holes.

+Oh yeah, and the joke of Simba pouncing on Zazu really doesn’t work if we see Simba getting ready the entire time and Zazu makes it easy for Simba by spinning around in circles looking at nothing. One would think Zazu was trying to let Simba pounce on him.

+There’s no kind way to put this -- Timon and Pumbaa were just flat-out INSUFFERABLE in this. Not only were their deliveries of lines from the original movie pretty awful, but they also added in a bunch of new, often fourth-wall-breaking jokes that just made me hide my face in my hands and groan. In Hakuna Matata in particular, they act offended by Simba not being more excited when they first say the phrase, ruin the joke of Pumbaa farting by having him say it and Pumbaa then being upset that Timon didn’t interrupt him, AND give Simba a hard time for continuing the song until it fades out by saying that Simba’s “gained 400 pounds” since they started it! This isn’t even touching on how TERRIBLE Seth Rogen was as Pumbaa while singing -- like, I know that’s supposed to be part of the joke, but Ernie Sabella was “a bad singer” by being over-the-top, not by being off-pitch and painful to listen to! Not to mention that Sabella packed so much more characterization into his line deliveries -- the chasm of quality between Sabella and Rogen’s performances all the more highlighted to me the difference between an actor and a voice actor. You can’t just get away with speaking your lines in an ordinary voice when you’re voice acting -- you need to emote solely with your voice, as your face is not doing any of the work, and with animation this emotionless and bland, one really needed to have given 120% in their voice work for it to be even passable. (And honestly, none of the actors stood out well performance-wise...not that they should have to singlehandedly bear the burden of depicting their characters’ emotions just with their voices: this is an animated movie, not a radio drama!) As if breaking the fourth wall for no reason, telling bad jokes, and singing poorly wasn’t enough, Timon and Pumbaa also come across as infinitely more selfish and mean-spirited. They say they’re outcasts, and yet there’s a whole friggin’ community of animals in their jungle home. Simba actually hears Timon and Pumbaa selfishly decide to “keep him” because having a creature bigger than them around might help them out. Timon flat-out tells Simba to only look after himself and no one else. Whereas in the original film, Timon and Pumbaa almost raise Simba like adopted parents, having fun with him and genuinely showing concern for him -- here, Timon and Pumbaa act more like a pair of frat boys who adopted the “new kid” in college and induct him into their friend circle, even though, yeah, Simba first meets them as a cub and they’re already adults. Rather than just laugh at the thought of “royal dead guys watching them” for a quick moment, they openly roar with laughter at Simba, dragging it out even when it’s very clear Simba is hurt by their amusement and not even bothering to apologize. At least in the original, Simba acted like it was funny and then left abruptly, but here? Simba never laughed or showed any amusement, so it came across as Timon and Pumbaa bullying him. Oh yeah, and speaking of bullying, remember how there was that one-off pop culture reference where Pumbaa gets mad at being called a pig? Now that’s been replaced with Pumbaa saying he doesn’t like bullies -- seems like that would’ve been a lovely thing to set up earlier, maybe to give that line some emotional pay-off, but nope! There’s no joke AND there’s no point. But you want to know what made me hate these two beyond reason in this movie? You want to know what finally pushed me over the edge? They broke the fourth wall beyond repair by -- rather than randomly putting on a hula skirt and dancing goofily, because of course we’re a SERIOUS animated movie, one that’s so REAL -- singing Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast, French accent and all. ...Excuse me for a minute. *buries her face into a pillow and screams in rage*

+By the way, those other animals who live in the jungle Timon and Pumbaa are from and therefore invalidate their assertion of being “outcasts”? Completely pointless. They don’t even come with Timon and Pumbaa and fight for the Pridelands! You could have cut them completely and lost nothing.

+As much as Hakuna Matata was the most irritating of the numbers, I Just Can’t Wait to Be King and especially Be Prepared were just pathetic. I Just Can’t Wait to Be King largely suffered, again, due to the “realism” of the animation, but the slow editing and even the vocals slowed the whole sequence down and sucked out any energy or excitement from the piece. I’ll give credit to Nala and Simba’s voice actors for their vocal quality, but there was still none of the spontaneity and recklessness in their voices that the song requires, so it just came across as Disney karaoke, rather than anything professional. But Be Prepared was easily the worst of the lot. It would be a challenge to try to evoke the level of dread and demented thrill you get from the original song sequence, but here, the filmmakers didn’t even try. Not only do we only get part of the song, but Scar’s voice actor Chitwetel Ejiofor barely sings a word of it and brings none of the dynamic, power-hungry, conniving, almost hypnotic mania that’s supposed to define Scar in that moment. He’s mostly just shouting like an old man yelling at a kid to get off his lawn -- there’s no attempt at persuasion or temptation in his voice at all. And just like in most of the other musical numbers, the only way Scar’s character model can emote during his song is to climb on things. Even in songs that were performed well, there were notable problems. The Circle of Life was basically animated on autopilot, replicating every single shot without taking any time to show any genuine emotion anywhere, whether when Zazu and Rafiki greeted Mufasa or when Simba sneezed away the dust in his face...and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? Haha, yeah, right -- more like “Can You Feel the Love in the Mid-Afternoon”! It was absolutely comical, hearing them sing “tonight” when the entire sequence was done in daylight!

+I’ve always liked The Lion King, but...wow, after seeing this remake and how much they tried to lean into the “hyenas as outsiders” idea in this, I have to acknowledge that there are some uncomfortable elements to this story. In the original, we solely focus on Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed with other hyenas in the background, so them being outside the Pridelands could just be seen as the case of a few bad apples, rather than it being an indictment on an entire group. But here, in this version, Shenzi is depicted more seriously as the leader of all the hyenas and it’s established that the war between lions and hyenas has gone on for a long time. Basically this movie turns Shenzi into Zira from The Lion King 2...and yeah, that makes it so that the hyenas -- as the outsiders -- should theoretically be slightly sympathetic, right? You know, to show that it’s wrong to cast others out because they look or act different from you? Nope! Nope, they’re all just evil! They’re manifestations of greed and hunger with no potential for redemption whatsoever. They’re not like our good, pale-colored lionesses who all look the same -- they’re dirty, and conniving, and they seek to creep out of the shadows and leech on everything the lions hold dear. I could very, very easily see how some vile, disgusting people could embrace such a narrative in this current climate, seeing themselves in the lions trying to “take their land back” from the shadowy, evil hoard of creatures who have come from outside to tear down their way of life. I can’t act like this adaptation added something that wasn’t at all in the original movie, as, let’s be honest, it plagiarized most of it...but perhaps because of how they reused this story and in some cases leaned into some elements of that story, this remake has very, very bad timing in when it was released. Those elements of the story probably wouldn’t have been read into it back in the 90′s, given the relative stability of the political landscape, but now? Now I could see how people could read it that way. It’d be like trying to make a movie like Independence Day, where national monuments get blown up, right after 9/11.

Looking back on what I just saw, I’m still absolutely stunned. Never before have I felt like my time has been more wasted than when I decided to sit down and watch this movie. I’ve tried to find shreds of praise, but whenever I try, it feels like I’m grasping at straws, only to fall back into a big pool of “blah.” I have never been so bored by a movie in my life -- and if there’s anything Disney, and especially Disney musicals, should never be, it’s boring. I would still say Maleficent makes me the most angry of Disney’s recent remakes, considering that that one openly insulted the original it was based off and this one is just clearly so up the original’s ass that it’s obnoxious...but this one was easily the biggest disappointment. I went in with almost no expectations, and yet still came out disappointed in the result. That, I think, says a lot. I could see someone who simply wants to see some cute animals and ride a bit on the nostalgia train enjoying this...but forgive me, but that bar is way too low. Disney is capable of doing so much better -- the true Lion King, the 1994 classic that broke records and surpassed all audience expectation, is more than enough evidence of that.

Overall Grade: D-

#the lion king (2019)#the lion king #disney #the lion king spoilers #opinion #oh boy here i go #reviews #disney remakes #remakes

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