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thatgirlonstage · 6 months

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Okay I’m too tired to keep listening to Dark Heir but I’ve got a whole bus ride home so I’m going to spin Black Butler thoughts at you all.

(Idk how coherent this is, I’m sorry if it’s rambly my brain is SO dead but it wants to Talk so)

I’m thinking about… the gradual build of Sebastian’s fear that he could actually lose Ciel, as we go:

The asthma attack in Circus Arc: not ultimately serious, but a danger to Ciel’s wellbeing Sebastian had not been aware of and cannot easily fix

The fight on the Campania, where Sebastian is very seriously injured himself, to the point where he’s in danger of losing Ciel to Undertaker because he can’t physically stop him from being taken,

Which leads into THIS fucking moment in school arc:

which is entirely fueled by Sebastian’s fear that Undertaker will snatch Ciel out from under him, AGAIN, because he did it before

AND THEN GREEN WITCH ARC HAPPENS, where Sebastian gets within literal minutes of losing Ciel to the gas, and WOULD HAVE if Sieglinde hadn’t been there or hadn’t been willing to help them

And still in Green Witch Arc, even AFTER Ciel has physically survived, Sebastian nearly loses him anyway because he backslides so dramatically into a PTSD episode that it nearly voids their contract

All of which is why by the time you get to the Blue Cult Arc, Sebastian is so genuinely afraid he might not be able to protect Ciel that the scent of blood from a single needle prick makes him do. This.

And now, with bizarre dolls getting ever more advanced and better at hiding from Sebastian’s senses and the whole police force mobilized against them, I’m very ready for Sebastian in Brighton to be doing everything short of wrapping Ciel in 19th century bubble wrap. I’ll frankly be shocked if he lets Ciel out of his sight for more than five minutes.

But the thing is. The thing is. Narratively, there isn’t much further you can ratchet up the stakes for Sebastian (at least until you get to the moment of truth with the contract and eating his soul, which is a different conversation). Ciel being put in danger or hurt again isn’t going to do all that much to alter their relationship at this point. Sebastian is already about as whipped as the poor guy can get.

What would be a change, is Ciel nearly losing Sebastian.

There’s been—for obvious reasons—much less risk and fear on that front. There has been some build for it:

Red Butler Arc, encountering reapers, Ciel sees Sebastian fight an enemy who can actually hold their own against him for the first time (and while I don’t think this is confirmed, I suspect Grell’s chainsaw eating his shoulder is the first time Ciel sees him get injured for real (as opposed to allowing himself to get shot and playing dead just for the sake of being a dramatic bitch))

Curry Arc, Agni successfully fights Sebastian to a tie (which is why I’m VERY interested to see if Soma turns back up in the Brighton arc as well, feat. angry Kali powers)

[The murder arc is a fake out, because Ciel knows he’s fine the whole time]

On the Campania, Ciel sees him get very badly injured. This is the one and only time Ciel has real cause to fear for Sebastian’s safety, as such.

And since then, while Sebastian isn’t quite untouchable, he hasn’t really suffered any serious injury or physical danger to himself. There have been defeats or fights that didn’t end perfectly for him—such as the school arc fight—but Sebastian hasn’t been existentially threatened. Ciel, I think, still has pretty high confidence that worst case scenario, Sebastian can always just pick him up and make a run for it (indeed, part of the reason things got so bad on the Campania was because they were trapped on a boat). And even if Sebastian couldn’t save him, Ciel—to the extent it’s even occurred to him—doesn’t have a lot of reason to think he couldn’t save himself.

This is now the second time Ciel has lost everything—his title, his name, his home, his safety, his dignity and respect. The first time was worse, obviously, but he’s got to be feeling the similarities.

The first time, Sebastian pulled him out of his despair by offering him the power to escape.

Now, the second time, he at least still has Sebastian by his side. A Sebastian who is going to be laser-focused on protecting Ciel from all possible threats.

But what happens if Ciel thinks he might lose Sebastian too?

#black butler #sebaciel #black butler meta #god I’m so ready for Brighton to be UNHINGED

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carigm · 1 year

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Today Millie had a fan panel in which she answered that her ideal ending would be Mike and El getting married and Will being happy and confessing to Mike (lol) and ofc the Stranger Things fandom kicked up the old Byler vs Mlvn war once again, regardless of the fact she doesn’t write the show. But I want to break down some points here about things I’ve been noticing today, but also for a while and that I think need to be discussed. Keep reading if you want.

I’ve seen a lot of hostility towards Byler and Bylers on Twitter lately, saying we’re delusional and don’t know what we’re talking about. This always seems to be the go to argument even tho it’s all in the narrative. Today it got really bad after Millie’s comments and even people that were merely disagreeing with her opinions got called everything from delusional to misogynistic.

IF the Duffers suddenly decided to ignore everything they’ve carefully crafted and put into their narrative that doesn’t make anyone delusional, it just makes them terrible writers. Who would be doing a great disservice to all three characters involved in the love triangle.

There’s been an insurgence (on Twitter) of so called “Will stans” who seem to be completely fine with the idea of mlvn being endgame because “Will can just get another boyfriend” Not only is this insulting to what the writers have already established for Will’s character but it’s also a defense and endorsement of the worst kind of lazy/bad writing that could graze our screens.

The Duffers CHOSE to tie Will’s character arc to Mike’s and El’s.

How do you expect them to undo that and create a well fleshed out character that’s deserving of Will, in 8 episodes that we know are not just gonna be dedicated to Will’s supposed love interest, because there’s a shit ton of stuff to resolve?

If this was the route the Duffers were going for, they could’ve clearly given Will a love interest last season (like with Robin) or two seasons ago (like with Dustin) And yet somehow, people think it would be totally okay for Will to get the most meaningless romance of all time as the writers ignore the same story they’ve created.

Another point I’ve been seeing a lot from these people is “Mike won’t come out. Let it go. He’s just a very unlikable character” What does that say about the quality of the writing and content you’re willing to consume then? You’re okay with characters being poorly written? And please someone explain to me how Mike’s actions, especially in S4, make any sense unless he likes Will.

The more people try to simplify this story the more plot holes and inconsistencies it creates.

The funny thing is that a lot of these “Will stans” used to be Bylers themselves but are so deathly afraid it won’t be endgame that they’ve started to use the same rhetoric mlvns use every day to justify what would be atrocious writing.

And this next thing might be controversial but I think it needs to be said.

So many people on Twitter have hit those who disagree with Millie’s opinion today with “y’all are misinterpreting Millie’s words” and let me tell you, no one has. She’s been saying the same stuff for forever and quite frankly she’s never had a coherent thought about Will. Which is fine, at the end of the day that’s not the character she plays. However, I haven’t forgotten how last year (at another panel) she was asked about Byler and said it was just a reflection of Finn and Noah’s friendship and that was what people were seeing…

Whatever the fuck that means, I guess.

Again, I’m not taking her answer today too seriously cause truth be told she’s been saying some version of this since she was around twelve, and has even at times said she was joking about it. If a wedding were actually happening she wouldn’t be able to say it cause I’d literally be a spoiler, even if she doesn’t have the scripts yet or doesn’t know I’m sure there’s things that would be off limits for any actor to say at this point.

But this defense squad that formed today begging for us to not misconstrue her words because “she really cares about Will’s character” is laughable.

Her answers regarding the topic of the love triangle have been anything but nuanced. If she doesn’t want to get into it or address it, that’s fine. It’s her choice.

But of course, mlvn stans are gonna take her answers seriously, as well as those who are now “Will stans” who basically ship mlvn too.

And to me there’s a fundamental flaw regarding the ship wars in this fandom, which these people don’t seem to grasp. At this point, it isn’t so much about “which ship is better” but “which outcome isn’t violently homophobic”

That’s it.

I don’t care how much you ship mlvn, this is the undisputed truth here.

But when your lead actors act like it’s not a big deal, it’s no surprise the fandom doesn’t give a shit.

I can only hope the Duffers were smart enough to see reason and were able to write the only outcome that won’t set television back around 10 years or so.

And hopefully one day, when S5 is out, we can get a more in depth and honest conversation with the actors about all of this.

As for me, I’m gonna lay low and not give much of a fuck until we start getting those Reddit leaks, which were very much accurate for last season. I’ll take a peak at those, and depending on what they look like, I’ll stay around or dip completely.

If you read all of this, thank you.

#byler #byler theory #byler is real

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quibbs126 · 4 months

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for the fankid requests,,, perhaps darkrasp?

Oh lord IT’S FINALLY DONE

I finished this like a month ago, still forgot to post him. I’ll try doing that now

“Within the gardens of Chateau Raspberry, one may find this black and white Cookie training vigorously to hone his skills. Born of chocolate, a generous amount of whipped cream, and raspberries in place of normal cherries, it isn’t uncommon for others to not recognize that he is part of the noble House Raspberry. Because of this, Black Forest Cookie has resolved to work twice as hard to improve his skills, to show that he is the embodiment of House Raspberry’s ardor and skill, and that he will carry on their legacy.”

“He wonders about his father’s past.”

Sorry this wasn’t a very good description. I just wasn’t sure how to word it and make it look good. I need to read more descriptions to get better at this (also writing this descriptions is kind of the reason I’ve been putting off posting these)

My ideas for him is that he’s a swordsman, wants to live up to House Raspberry and particularly his mother’s legacy, and while he gets along with his father, he knows very little about his past (since here Dark Choco doesn’t really talk about it much, he never went and worked things out with his dad). Also he’s a bit of an introvert and just wants to sword fight and read books, but I didn’t know how to work in that last bit without it sounding weird

Anyways, design notes time

So the name Black Forest comes from Black Forest cake, since that was the closest thing I could think of that combines chocolate and raspberries, even though black forest cake is made with cherries. For a time I was considering using Raspberry Jam instead, but then I went back to Black Forest

Black forest cake:

I admit, he looks like he’s from the 1700s or something. Granted, I don’t think that’s too out of place in the Hollyberry Kingdom

The hair I remember being something I struggled with for a while, until I kind of settled on this for his hair. I’ll be honest, the sketch I did up top really helped me get a good idea for his design and finally finish it (granted that was a couple months ago)

I had always wanted to give him a white outfit, since Dark Choco and Raspberry both have costumes in white, and I was able to do that here

I’m sorry, this is a bad post (I’m talking description wise, the art itself I don’t think is too bad). I designed him a long time ago, I’m not good at writing the character descriptions, and frankly I’m just writing this because I feel like I just have to get it out and actually post these requests. So I’m just gonna stop now, hopefully next one I post I’ll be able to write a better description, and I hope you like…whatever coherent stuff you can find here, and his design I guess

#this post is a mess #hopefully it’ll just be this one #maybe I’ll edit it in post #but frankly I’m just writing this because I feel like I need to get this out eventually #would probably be better if I did it when I made it #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #dark choco cookie #raspberry cookie #darkrasp #fankid #fanchild #cookie run oc #black forest cookie #my ocs #my art #requests #answers

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goodbyeapathy8 · 3 months

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Departure letter

As mentioned in this post, that outlines why I needed to let this be my last message in the Kindergarten Mafia Discord server... here is the Scathing Letter™. ------------------------

It is time for me to go.

I absolutely loathe having to do a departure announcement because this is not an airport and I’m sure not a lot of people care.

But as someone who has spent 10+ years of their life actively decolonizing and liberating my viewpoints, it would be absolutely remiss for me to not leave final remarks here expressing my utter disappointment and feelings of not being safe in this space. Not just as POC but someone chronically ill and autistic. Y’all have not made it kind for someone who has any sort of marginalized identity, as evidenced by the public dogpiling in this thread as well as the now deleted messages in clarifications.

I’m not going to address the majority of the drama except for what started it all : someone refusing a Native person’s (well-deserved) call out for a culturally appropriative phrase.

It is devastatingly clear to me that a large portion of folks in this server have a poorly curated personal life extremely lacking in diversity.

The defensiveness and elitism (really? Dictionary definitions?). Refusal to actively listen and instead attack others about lacking critical thinking. Self-claimed expertise. I could go on.

So I revise what I had posted previously. Everyone is a little racist and this server is full of white supremacy tenets.

https://rrapp.hks.harvard.edu/the-culture-of-white-supremacy-in-organizations/

This is my last attempt at educating some of you, which will go poorly, I’m sure.

I spent an inordinate amount of time/energy/spoons to provide coherent context the last time but to find the entire thread deleted with no respect for the effort I spent there, has been one of the final straws.

Frequently mentioning your volunteer status is frankly laughable. I have volunteered for quite a few places, including mutual aid organizations, and across multiple timezones and never have I seen so many excuses to say that y’all do not care about POC. (1/2)

I don’t care how old anyone is, what their job IRL is, what works you’ve posted with how many kudos, etc. I *do* care about the fact that multiple people, when speaking up, are treated with callousness and hurtfulness. That is a larger indication of your mental age and capacity than any other words you can type.

That I felt safe enough to be so vulnerable in this space for a while was an illusion. There are continued indicators that POC words are ignored, especially calling out that I know both Jynx and William have requested their labor be deleted in the server but have not been.

Last, but not least, I’m sure people will read this and think oh it’s Phoenix banding together with their friends. I say this with as much passion I can muster : I would have the same amount of disdain for the actions seen in this server without any personal friendship ties and emotions. That is how the social justice aspect of my autism works.

You all have so much work to do when it comes to respecting other human beings that have different experiences than you. If I weren’t so consumed with the feelings of my actual divorce, recent termination, and the continued trauma of world events like that in Falasteen, I’d feel bad for you.

As it stands, I believe my energy is precious and I simply cannot spare any more in spaces where I (and others) am not welcome or given respect to. Let it be noted that I’ve actually gone viral on social media before and I still have not left THOSE spaces and yet am choosing to leave this one. The troll comments I received on Tiktok can be ignored because they are from complete strangers that I do not give a single fuck about. The ones here, purportedly from those who claim it’s “safe”, are even more insidious in nature.

Whatever race or ethnicity you are, to take people who have shown you their vulnerabilities and turn around to show your entire behinds in the least sexiest way ever, is not a good look. Ever.

Leave the ass scenes to KinnPorsche.

#announcing my departure #it's not an airport #but i'm taking flight #bye racists #good riddance #kindergarten mafia #decolonize fandom spaces

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mementoboni · 10 months

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[part 4/4] DIR EN GREY WOWOW Interview & Document (2020)

"I hope not to go (overseas) as much as I can. In this day and age, I can sing even at home, like when my younger sister asks, 'Can you sing for me?' I will sing seriously at home, really." — Kyo

Notes before reading:

The whole interview is divided into 8 topics, and the translation is divided into 4 parts. This is the last part, including the 6th to 8th topics. The details of all topics and time markers are 👉 here.

I have added Chinese subtitles for this video in 2021. The whole interview was very meaningful, and I hope that with the English translation, more people can understand what they’re talking about.

The five members were interviewed separately and then edited into a video, so the words spoken by each of them are not necessarily coherent.

Repost and share are welcome.🙌 I translated it all by my ears, so please feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.☺️

--- --- ---

06. Overseas

►Opportunity to Go Overseas

Die: I think the biggest reason is that the Internet has become so popular that people overseas can learn about Japanese culture. Kaoru: Someone in Germany told us that there are many people waiting for DIR EN GREY to come. Toshiya: To be honest, I was skeptical about it. Of course, I appreciate what they say, but I still think to myself, "Eh, do you really know us?” Kaoru: I refused several times. That person came to tell us that they were ready for a venue of about 3,000 people. No, wait a minute. "We can't go to that kind of place," "Wouldn't it be too exaggerated?" "You value us too much," even though I said so. Die: I heard that all the tickets were sold out in a few minutes and there were so many people gathered in places we had never been. I wonder what the hell was going on? Toshiya: We went to Germany in such a half-believing state and were greeted by a very, very large number of people. Kaoru: Not only from Europe, there are people from all over the world as well. It was the first time we held LIVE overseas, in Asia, and the audience came from different places, so I felt a bit numb. Shinya: Isn't it easy to go abroad now? This was not possible at that time. Maybe that's what people overseas think. If you miss this time, you don't know when you'll see it next. (*Yes Shinya, you’re right! 🥺) Kyo: It's just like "If there are people who support us like this, let’s go there."

►About Overseas Fans

Toshiya: Whenever I saw the audience singing in Japanese, I felt that they are really conveying frankly. Kyo: I don't know how to convey what I'm singing, and I can't sing in the local language, I can only sing in Japanese. But when I think of the people who try as hard as one can, studying and looking up information to find out what I'm singing, I think it would be nice if they could pass some time. I guess that's how it is. Kaoru: Although we don't intentionally aim for overseas, people who will like us will like us.

►Life on the Overseas Tour

Die: In the case of the U.S., the tour bus can accommodate up to 12 people including members and staff. We had to go all over the U.S. with one bus, but of course the Japanese managers and staff were hardly there. Shinya: Basically, it's "Bus→Venue→LIVE", and then "Bus→Venue→LIVE" keeps going on. It's much better than in Japan that I'm already in the venue after getting up. Kaoru: We don't talk much in Japan. It has been like that for more than 20 years. But when we were on the overseas tour, I could talk to the members quite often because I stayed with them all the time. After all, there were only members. It's nice to be able to talk to the members, so I think it's good to have overseas tours regularly. 🤣🤣 Kyo: I don’t get out of the tour bus. I was in my own bed, about a tatami space, the height is probably only this way (Kyo gestures with his hand), like a box, but separated by a curtain. I stay in it almost all the time, even when I’m resting. Kyo: I'm still interested in some history, and although it's nice to see all kinds of scenery and live a healed life, I don't really care... If I'm in the mood for a short trip to enjoy myself, it's not DIR EN GREY. (*Screen caption: Unlike European double-decker tour buses, American tour buses are single-decker.)

►Future Approach to Overseas

Shinya: Even if we tour overseas now, we can't reach the scale that we have in Japan. That's why I want to try a Hall Tour like the one in Japan, but it's really hard to do that. Die: Now we're mostly touring on our own. I'd like to do a tour like Fes, a tour with several bands, and so on. Personally, I'd like to do that again. It's not impossible, right? Kaoru: But compared to the old days when we went overseas, when we performed in larger venues and had a large audience on stage, there is almost nothing like that now. Of course, it's the same in Japan. It's very rare. Basically, as long as there are fans, we'll go there. (*I think Kaoru is trying to say that they rarely go to big music festivals these days.) Kyo: I hope not to go (overseas) as much as I can. In this day and age, I can sing even at home, like when my younger sister asks, "Can you sing for me?" I will sing seriously at home, really. Kyo: It doesn't mean I hate fans, Daisuki desu. ❤ 🤣🤣 Toshiya: There was an interview during our underground period, and I still remember very clearly what I said then. "Anyway, I want to keep stumbling forward". No matter what happens, I/we will not stay there forever. Even if I/we really can't move forward, at least I/we will fall forward and feel like I/we can move forward again. Toshiya: I won't do it if I don't have to. Hahahaha, I'll quit. But there are people still waiting (for us), so I will continue to do it.

...

07. Transition

►The way to convey music in the future

Shinya: There was no change in the way the music was produced. However, even if Corona has subsided afterwards, I think there are a lot of issues that need to be considered when it comes to the way that LIVE is organized. Toshiya: In any case, the rules will probably become stricter and stricter in the future, both for music and film. That way, there is a clear distinction between what we can and cannot do. On the contrary, what we really want to show and what we own will be shown on the internet. Negotiating with each other, and then continuing to create. We can only move forward in that direction. Kaoru: If you say that the production itself has changed, I think it has not changed. But what's the point of making a song if you can't do LIVE? There are a lot of voices like that, but basically I still think that in the end. Kaoru: In this case, what we create is definitely different from what we did before. Isn't the value of "wanting to convey something" a bit tiring? I sometimes think so. Well, but we have to adjust step by step and move in this direction, and that's all we can say now. We have to create a place where we can express ourselves. Kyo: After the Corona is over, you probably won't be able to go back to your old world, whether it's in terms of feelings or anything else. So you have to be flexible to deal with all kinds of things. If you think about it positively, it might be a good time, a good opportunity. After all, we never know when something is going to happen, and there is no such thing as an absolute, everlasting thing. Because of this, I often think that I must do everything 100%. Die: We've done this before, with members picking their own lists and then playing on video sites*. Of course, the members are listening at the same time, with fans and members, this is also a form of LIVE, very LIVE-feeling. "I want to see LIVE" and "members also want to do LIVE". I listened to the songs chosen by members with the same feeling as the fans. However, I really want to be on stage because I can only feel the atmosphere like that when I am there. (*Die is talking about the "Audio Live Stream 5 Days" broadcasted on YouTube from 2020.05.02 to 05.06.)

...

08. What does DIR EN GREY mean to you?

Kaoru: Maybe it's the property or the value that I've been holding on to. Among everyone who listens to our music, I think this is the time to confirm our existence. In the case of Corona this time, we did make some rules using the internet. But the response I got at that time made me realize that DIR EN GREY is a part of our lives, and I felt that there are many people who consider DIR EN GREY as an important presence. At that time, I also understood our value and existence. Kaoru: I can't quite tell you what DIR EN GREY is when I’m asked. But seeing that everyone is watching us, I think it's great that I can keep going. Toshiya: I really started out alone, but I have since met many people. So, to me, DIR EN GREY is, in a word, a medium that connects me to the world in a big way. Shinya: More than half of my life is spent in DIR EN GREY, it is my life. Die: It's like the meaning of living. It is... It's what I've bet everything I have. Kyo: It's already part of my life, and now it is. (*Edit: Although both Shinya and Kyo said that DIR EN GREY is his "life", Shinya actually used the word "人生" (jinsei), which means the process from birth to death, more like "lifetime"; while Kyo used the word "生活" (seikatsu), which is closer to the meaning of "daily life".)

(END)

--- --- ---

part 1. & part 2. & part 3.

topics & time marks

中文翻譯 (My Blogger) part 1. & part 2. & part 3.

#dir en grey #kaoru #薰 #kyo #京 #die #toshiya #shinya #interview #interview 2020 #translations #video translation #diru translation #translation by yinfu #diru wowow 2020 #WOWOW interview #long post #overseas

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elipheleh · 8 months

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advance warning im going to be complaining about behaviour of some people on rwrb twitter and crossing lines and/or parasocial relationships so. feel free to skip. its also not super concise/coherent because im tired and annoyed.

tl;dr - the actors are strangers. you cannot joke about with them on social media in ways you would joke with your friend. they do not know you. you do not know them.

under a cut because it’s a bit long & i’m tagging it so i don’t want to clog the tags.

—

theres a certain group of people that i see on rwrbtwt who act in a kind of… invasive parasocial way specifically towards nick galitzine and it’s getting really frustrating. (it’s plausible its also at taylor zakhar perez but im not seeing that personally so i can’t say.)

it’s things like screenshotting his old tweets & posting them and tagging him in the tweets where they’re joking about it. and then when he deletes the tweet they call that out & laugh about it or cry about it because from their pov it was innocuous, but they laughed at it and drew attention to it. not because they want to be cruel but because they would do similar with friends (where it would be okay, depending) and have a parasocial relationship with him that makes them think its okay to act similarly.

the most recent one was posting screenshots of accounts in his insta following & not necessarily mocking him for it, but being overly familiar about it (very easily could be read as mocking though especially if you’re sensitive about it). then they are drawing attention to him unfollowing the accounts, which was likely because he’d seen the tweets because they continue to tag him in stuff. they laugh about it and don’t see it as a bad thing but are crowing about getting noticed & getting him to do something. they’re proud of it and of it being proof he’s lurking on social media. and not seeing that they’re why he’s lurking and not posting stuff.

—

quite frankly, it’s invasive and gross behaviour. i expect they would find it incredibly weird if a stranger went through to find tweets they made 5 or so years ago & then screenshot and sent it to them. why is it okay because he’s a celeb? they’re quick to talk about how you shouldn’t talk about certain things just bc they’re famous but will be fine about doing this.

i think the worst thing is they have talked about how nice it is nick has openly talked about his mental health & anxiety struggles and then do this kind of thing with absolutely no regard for how it might be affecting him. i know i would be finding it very difficult not to delete all my past tweets if that was happening to me, i definitely wouldn’t be wanting to tweet more.

and it’s just conjecture, but the fact he’s deleting the tweets & unfollowing the accounts makes it look like it is affecting him. they’re actively making social media an inhospitable place for him to be and then complaining he doesn’t tweet anymore, or that he’s rebranding/archiving insta posts.

if you really want to act like that, which is your choice, dont do it publicly. do it on private accounts, in a groupchat, in a private forum. if you’re determined to get validation from the numbers going up, don’t tag nick in your posts. let him avoid stuff.

#elio is being negative #nick galitzine #rwrb #nicholas galitzine #idk what we tag him as #anyway. if youre doing this maybe reconsider your actions #idk if anyone here is doing that… on here or twt.. but it’s really annoying me #icr the account but it was vibes of like ‘just girly things’ or whatever #there’s another conversation about calling him pet names incl babygirl but that might be me being an Old and misunderstanding #so im not going into that. but its filed under parasocial relationships anyway #this is a sideblog so i cant reply directly etc etc ill copy it into a reblog

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caernua · 4 months

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completely genuine question—what makes you like Valhalla so much? I played that game for over 100 hours and I think the world was absolutely gorgeous, and some aspects of it were incredibly fun, but I thought so much of the writing, pacing, and characters were just… off? I think the gameplay mechanics (dialogue, romances, other “choices” you get to make, and the way they handled exploration objectives) are really hollow and narratively it’s maybe my least favorite or second least favorite ac game, but I’d genuinely really love to hear why it hits for someone whose a big fan

anon this is about to get very long i am so sorry also thank you for asking me this i love rambling about my favorite viddy games

in a lot of ways i agree with you! i think the pacing is off, the game is way too long and it overall feels like a game that aims to waste your time as much as possible which is simply infuriating. this is part of the reason why i started valhalla many many times but only finished it a handful of times. (which for 500 hours is insane) that is also bc the earlier arcs imo are superior to the ones in the middle and many of them feel downright unnecessary. i’m also not a fan in general of the rpg mechanics either, i’ve largely ignored them in valhalla frankly and neither am i of the romances (with the exception of ciara but that one too feels a little half assed and inconsequential - it's like you're always aware that whatever you do it won't last bc the character's story can't deviate too much) or the whole choice aspect that matters little. i will always hold the opinion that having choices (including the gender of the main character) introduced in a franchise where the premise is that you are reliving someone else’s memories is stupid, frankly. no amount of in-game explanations or isu bullshit will change that in my eyes.

however, what really clicked with me was the story. i know that’s not the case with a lot of people and i actually see why, it's a huge reason why it's such a polarizing game. weirdly enough, i first watched the gameplay before buying the game and i really disliked it. i wasn't pulled in, i didn't care much and i thought it was a subpar story. buut when i actually got my hands on the game i deeply connected with eivor and even tho i’ve just criticized the length of the game i think the hours and hours you get to spend as her contribute to that a lot. her entire journey was incredibly compelling in my eyes and especially the latter arcs hit me like a truck (i cried playing this game a lot <3). i think what i love most about this story is how it goes against the game’s promotion and the direction it went completely shocked me. doing an assassin’s creed based on vikings and very much using the romanticization of the term like any other form of media focused on vikings to depict these badass rutheless glory seeking fighters and absolutely relishing in that imagery in all the promotion and the beginning of the game and really in eivor’s character only to lead to a climax in which the main character turns away from odin and glory and says “no, the love of my people is more important to me than victories” was just… an amazing moment across the whole franchise in my mind. it was satisfying, it was heartbreaking, it was relatable and it was unique in my mind. i think assassin’s creed for so long has relished in these aspirational images of badass warriors and to choose THE most universally seen as badass historical warriors to send that kind of message was a ballsy move and really surprising. and it also works because eivor feels threatening across the game, she's scary! and ac doesn't always manage to make their protagonists feel that way (sorry arno love you 😘)

i also think that for how boring the asgard arc was (really don’t know how they achieved that) the storyline was REALLY well thought out since lore-wise they were essentially left with scraps from the other games so to make a coherent continuation from that mess that someone else thought out was impressive in my mind. i really liked how it tied in to basim’s story, i loved the moment when the reveal finally happened and i loved basim and eivor as narrative foils who are in a similar situation but experience it completely differently.

but aside from the ending i think there’s plenty of high points in the main campaign that just feel fun? i lovelovelove the east anglia arc (oswald’s story), i loved the lunden arc with its many many throwbacks to ac1, i loved soma and her arc, i loved vili's arc, cent was also really fun and a personal favorite. i also just enjoy doing the world events (fuuuck the anomalies tho!!!) and as sad as i am to say this, a part of my enjoyment was also the questions posed that were dissapointingly answered with the half assed 'last chapter'. i can't deny that valhalla suffers from missed potential a lot which is crazy bc you'd think that a game that forces you to play for hundreds of hours would have the time to deliver satisfying conclusions.

but i do also love doing... not much in it. as you said the environment is beautiful, the soundtrack is top notch and the atmosphere is really just amazing as well. i don't know how but valhalla kinda awakens a very deep sadness in me but it's not unpleasant, it's bittersweet. whenever i open the game and hear that beautiful main theme i want to cry a bit, same goes for when i climb the snowy mountains of norway and i look at the northern lights. the atmosphere in valhalla is just... outstanding. it reawakens so many things in me and that's partly due to eivor's story as well but it's amazing that it's somehow infused in the environment itself. am i thinking of regrets i carry and heartache, of how i have to cherish the people i have before i lose them, of how i lost my childhood because the pixels are pretty and the soundtrack is heartbreaking, or because eivor's story is in large part about all that? i have no idea but it's a precious sentiment. 💗

#i'm sorry anon this got so deranged #and extremely personal LMAO but yea valhalla is certainly a very polarizing game #perhaps the most polarizing in the franchise!! i think the story was very strong #anonymous #asks

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soleadita · 6 months

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another day another niche media that has crossed my dash because of u. who is sam why is he crashing and why does he look like a pathetically sad kicked puppy (huuuge huge huge fan of the gif of him w a bloody handprint on his face btw single best thing a guy can have)

CRASHING!!! SAM!!!!! i didn’t think i’d have that much to say but it turns out i did. sorry. mostly this is just barely coherent rambling.

(1) crashing is a british tv show from 2016ish. there are (regrettably) only about 6 episodes, i believe, and they’re SHORT. (i made @dauntingday watch it with me a few months ago and we accidentally just downed the entire thing in one evening after work. that’s how short it is.) it follows a group of like…20s+ people who all live together in an…abandoned hospital? or something? i’m not entirely clear on how the living situation works, and frankly that’s like the least important part i just tend to get bogged down in details when i try to talk about things. BASICALLY they all live together in a giant funky building, they don’t all know each other, they have disastrous dinner parties, they’re messy, they’re stupid, they’re brilliant, they’re super fucking weird, they’re awful to each other, they love each other, they take care of each other in weird ways…it’s like found family i guess but more in like a having-a-lot-of-cousins way. like some of them you’re really close with some of them you never really see some of them you can’t stand. but they’re all still your cousins.

(2) sam is like...i would like to throttle him i also would like to wrap him in a weighted blanket and give him a mug of hot tea. he's a lil homophobic he'll vehemently insist he's not gay he is actively pining after fred when fred gets a boyfriend sam makes it his personal mission to be a total dick about it (affectionate) and break them up. when i started writing this, i was like, "lol SAM how do i describe that little shit, he's so silly and funky and awful but in a cute way," and now i'm actively getting a little choked up about him and fred. im not gonna lie. and the fact that this whole dynamic is established in like...two hours? give or take? masterpiece. ANYWAY. "pathetically sad kicked puppy" is right you totally nailed it he's like the puppy that chews everything up INCLUDING HIS OWN TOYS HIS OWN BED HIS OWN FAVORITE BLANKET and then when he gets reprimanded for it and DOESN'T HAVE ANY OF HIS SHIT, he goes into "pathetically sad kicked puppy" mode. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT HIM I DON'T THINK IM EXPRESSING THEM RIGHT BUT I THINK YOU'LL GET IT ANYWAY.

(3) i regret to inform you that wasn't a bloody handprint on his face, it was paint. :(

#HI I LOVE U IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE DONE A MEDIA INFODUMP FOR YOU ON MAIN <3 #i definitely didn't do sam justice here but. brain scrambled eggs yk how it is #i shouldn't rewatch crashing on top of everything else im doing to myself at the moment but also maybe i should #winter ❄️#bestie mail <3

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phantasmicfish · 9 months

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Okay so I want to get all my good omens s2 thoughts out there in one big swoop and try to sound coherent… and ofc I’ll later post exclusively what I loved because there is A Lot to love about this show!

I largely loved the first four episodes. I thought they were amazing, there was fantastic chemistry and humor between Aziraphale and Crowley. The back in time sequences were brilliant and slightly darker than they were in season 1! I felt they portrayed Heaven in a more critical light than we’ve seen before… ex: Heaven condoning the murder of children, messing Job’s life over a silly bet, kicking Crowley out for asking several questions.

I think the back in time sequences really showed Aziraphale’s struggle with his desire to follow Heaven/God because they're the Good Guys verses what Heaven/God is actually telling him to do being straight up bonkers. We see the first time he lies to other angels to save Job’s children, but this deed ends up in direct violation of God’s orders, so there’s this internal moral conflict here…

It was amazing to see angels and demons try to understand humanity and fail, versus Aziraphale and Crowley who are well-versed in humanity and their traditions and have the upper hand in this regard.

I love love LOVE Jim. I mean, Gabriel. I mean, James! The dynamic between him, Crowley, and Aziraphale was amazing! You have this horrible, completely awful boss who’s narcissistic and self-centered and completely detached from any form of human emotion… and you wipe his slate clean and stick him with two characters who think he’s a mega level asshole and watch their interactions unfold. I think Aziraphale promising to protect Gabriel and then upholding that promise despite Gabriel being a douche is so sweet, so in character… and Crowley going along with it even though he hates Gabriel with all his heart. And the way Crowley struggles to reconcile and accept this version of Gabriel with the one he’s seen in the past was very interesting to watch. Gabriel learning the alphabet, dusting the bookshop because he wants to be helpful, Gabriel jumping out the window because Crowley tells him this is how he can help Aziraphale really sold it for me— now, without his memory, Gabriel is kind and nice and just wholesomely curious. I think I would have liked to see more Gabriel-as-Jim scenes before he got his memory back, which brings me to what I don’t like about the show, namely, the last episode.

(HRHSHSHSBSZHSH)

So, the ultimate episode has the big resolution— it’s revealed Gabriel decided against a second Armageddon after his blossoming romance with Beelzebub, then he gets his memory back and the two of them go off together to live a life of romance and love and all that on Proxima Centauri, presumably.

And.

Just.

It’s too neat. It’s too tidy. Crowley and Aziraphale had all of creation to alleviate their prejudices and fall in love *cough they just don’t know it yet cough*. It’s not believable to me that Gabriel and Beelzebub would fall in love in such a short period of time based on such minimal interactions, I feel like love (a very human thing) is something pre-Jim Gabriel would look down on altogether. I wish we had more of Jim. I would, frankly, be fine without seeing the return of Gabriel altogether… or at least some scenes that show Gabriel as being grateful to Aziraphale and Crowley for hiding him out and risking destruction just for him…

I don’t know. I think that end was wrapped up too neatly and too tightly. I’d be happy if Gabriel never got his memory back this season, and we see the continuation of Jim in season 3. Why build a character up only to have him disappear just when we start to like him?

I didn’t care for Nina and Maggie. I thought they were superfluous in every sense of the word. I feel like their characters had a lot of potential in the beginning and then the plot just sort of ended up… not doing anything with their characters? Nina is in a maybe emotionally toxic relationship with Lindsay, but then that ends and we don’t even get to meet Lindsay. Maggie’s character has no development except for her love of Nina and her owning a record shop. And the two of them giving advice to Crowley at the end to just talk to Aziraphale just didn’t do it for me.

I was crushed when Aziraphale was asked to rejoin heaven and did so immediately and with open arms— it’s like that scene at the bandstand all over again, when Aziraphale said, there is no our side. He still believes in and wants to follow Heaven, whereas Crowley made his peace with being on his own side (not Heaven or Hell’s) many years ago.

So, essentially: I loved the show, but I’m not satisfied with the conclusion to Gabriel’s story or Maggie/Nina’s involvement, which sorta soured it for me. I do love the show! Especially every back in team featurette with Crowley and Aziraphale, any and all Crowley and Aziraphale interactions in the present today together and with Gabriel, the major ship vibes this season was pumping out! It was funny and lovely and aside from the imo lackluster Gabriel resolution, all around great!

#sorry just wanted to get all my thoughts in a bit ranty thing done and out of the way #long post #good omens season 2 #good omens season two #good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #go2 #go2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #good omens jim #the archangel gabriel #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands

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bonesandthebees · 11 months

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Anyway, chapter 3. I love the slow transition. Normally it’s always a sudden transition. Something fast but painful that has the person barely coherent. But it’s a slow transformation now. And it started with the damn singing. Phil! Why! He shot himself in the fin he did.

It’s also very fun how the conflict of last chapter continues in this one. Still mostly in the background except for the last scene. That conflict is Techno being of the (frankly correct) opinion that they should ask Wilbur if he wants to be turned, while Phil is clearly of the turn-first-explain-after opinion. Now it makes sense why he first asked Wilbur if he wanted to sign when Techno wasn’t there. So he couldn’t interfere. The silent conversation is fun to and [“Something you’re gonna have to get Phil to explain, because I’m definitely not gonna do it for him,”] is a mood and a half.

Techno seems incredibly conflicted about this whole thing, but I respect that he’s not going to clean up Phil’s mess. Phil gets the full consequences of his actions. Which is a sad hurt and betrayed Wilbur who arguably gets more consequences for Phil’s actions. Poor kid. Phil really screwed up the trust department. But of course Wilnir is already attached and maybe if Phil had ASKED Wilbur would actually want to become a mer. Instead, we get a terrified child who doesn’t know what’s happening to him until he does and isn’t exactly pleased he has little to no control over it.

Also, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t gush over the foreshadowing for the transformation (or the process really). So first there’s the singing. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but as a singed I really liked the way you described Wilbur learning to sign and all the vocal exercises. That being said, being able to hit really high notes in his chest voice is suspicious. And now we know it’s because his vocal cords where doing a little more than just stretching.

The this chapter there are the nails, which are very obvious. The sore legs which I thought was because they were turning into a tail, which they still are, but apparently it’s growing scales first. The much more subtle, Wilbur being able to make and understands the clicks. Then there’s the sharper teeth. The constant need to be in the sea + the pain stopping when in the water. Not feeling safe on land/with the humans, but feeling safe in the water/with the mer. And of course, the big discovery that Wilbur is growing scales (he’s going to be a little golden boy), which leads to Wilbur’s distressed trill. It’s nice.

Also, poor Phil really loves this kid. Like he got there fast. As fast as any half-decent parent who hears a trill of distress from their kid. And then he has to tell Wilbur he’s turning into a mer and we get exactly what Phil was scared of. Which is an angry Wilbur running away. And this is what I mean with Phil shooting himself in the fin. Because he was trying to avoid the conversation, trying to avoid that outcome, but in doing so he obviously only made it worse when Wilbur found out.

But because Wilbur doesn’t want to be a mer (though we’ll see how he feels when (if) he calms down and has a moment to think away it) Wilbur no can’t be near him. Even if he wanted to, it would continue to turn him into a mer. So unless Wilbur changes him mind or is too far into the process to stop it, Phil will never see him again. And if Phil had just asked, Wilbur might has initially said no and the. Come around to the idea. Poor damn Techno. He knew that was the way you are supposed to do it. And he was being such a loving and caring uncle too. His protectiveness kicked in almost instantly. And he did the throwing! There’s nothing more valuable than an adult who throws you when near water.

-🌲

yeah I LOVE slow transformations that aren't obvious at first but become more clear over time. just the idea that something is wrong but the person being transformed isn't sure what it is. it's that slow, creeping dread of realization that I adore and I really wanted to explore that here

techno is so tired he knows this is a bad idea for many reasons but phil just assumes he knows best. he thinks it won't be as big of a deal as it is, because he doesn't fully understand human emotions. humans are hard to predict and take betrayals hard. techno knows this, but phil doesn't. at least not fully.

if phil had asked wilbur would have said yes!! that's the worst part!! but phil just assumed he knew wilbur and that it would be fine. it wasn't, but that's what he thought would happen. techno's not cleaning his mess up for him. he's gotta deal with this himself.

YEAHHH i know it is possible to hit some higher notes from your chest voice with practice, but there's a natural limit to it. what wilbur has been doing is not possible with human vocal chords.

yup then there all the things from this chapter. it's everything you listed. physical traits, but also his behavior. the feelings of safety/not being able to sleep without mer around is more to do with his age rather than just the mer transformation. baby mer are very dependent on their caretakers, so when a child is being turned into a mer they want to stick close to the water because it's safer that way

phil really does love wilbur. he's just a bit stupid with the decisions he makes. but of course the minute he heard wilbur was in distress he got there instantly, only for things to go so wrong so fast

literally nothing more valuable than an adult who throws you as far in the water as they can

#so glad youre enjoying!!#love hearing your thoughts as always #spruce anon #ask #songs of change

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benbamboozled · 1 year

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Okay as someone who only tangentially knows about nightwing, I enjoyed the grayson series. I'm a whole-ass lesbian but watching him walk shirtless through a desert carrying a baby? I suddenly understood the whole "being straight" thing. Grayson cured my heterophobia lololol.

ANYWAYS it seems like you've actually read other nightwing comics so I was wondering what your take on the grayson series is? Is it OOC? If not, do you have any other comic recs where I can 👀 that 🍑?

Lol I actually haven’t read Grayson! Because…lol, okay, THIS IS STUPID I AM FULLY AWARE OF THAT, but because I resent the idea that Dick Grayson needed a series where he’s ALSO a super cool hot spy who’s a badass hot spy. ~~~OOOOH GOOD FOR YOOOOOU!!!!~~~

(Yes this is one of my personal foibles, sometimes I resent things for existing because I am odd and petty.)

I’ve thought about reading it for The Pretty, but I know certain fandom circles are, uh…less than enthusiastic about it, and certain other character fans are less than enthusiastic about it (*cough* Midnighter), so I just haven’t decided that I’m open to potentially being grumpified in favor of The Pretty yet.

Basically, I absolutely cannot speak on how IC or not it is. 🙃 I do know that I’ve read two things by Tim Seeley—one I like that a lot of people don’t (Robins) and one that was ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS LIKE TERRIBLE ON EVERY POSSIBLE LEVEL GAG VOMIT UGGGHHHH (Countdown to the Wedding: Red Hood vs Anarky—do not punish yourself with this it is so bad).

Sooooo I have no idea what that says about whether or not I’d appreciate Grayson!

Honestly, though, my Dick Grayson absorption is all over the map, so I’m not so much a great person to give recs I think.

Like, my foundational Dick run (hm) was Devin Grayson’s Nightwing run and, uh, that run is CONTROVERSIAL (to put it mildly), for some reasons that I agree with and some that I don’t. It also left me with a…very particular set of preferences when it comes to Dick Grayson In Comics.

(You know how 1984 starts with “imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever”? Yeeeeeahhhh.)

If you’re in just for the pretty, the current Nightwing run—Leaping Into the Light (kind of a soft-reboot of the premise starting with #78 of the 2016 run)—is REALLY gorgeous. Like…wow. Not so much on a beefcake level necessarily, but like…gorgeous man f-i-n-g-e-r-s-t-r-i-p-e-s acrobatics long legs strong back mmmmmmmm. (I cannot be more coherent than that, just…guh.)

(I do NOT keep up with this book for the plot. The plot is…sigh. Lackluster. And the characterization is…kind of generic. AND IT TOOK NIGHTWING #93—A CONTROVERSIAL YET IMO GROUNDBREAKING ISSUE—AND BASICALLY RE-DID IT IN A WAY I FIND FRANKLY PRETTY OFFENSIVE BOTH TO STORYTELLING IN GENERAL AND THE WAY IT TREATED THE ISSUES ORIGINALLY HANDLED IN THE COMIC. ANYWAY like I said, I’m shallow and into it for the pretty pictures. Also it’s DC, and my evergreen tag “comics are bad and I hate them” is evergreen for a reason.)

I’m certain that other people who follow me have better recs/suggestions, so if anyone who follows me has insight on Grayson or feelings about good Nightwing runs for (*cough*) 🍑-purposes and wants to chime in, feel free! Reblog, reply, whatevs!

(Just, you know…if you have STRONG feelings, try to remember the “don’t yuck someone’s yum” principle. Criticism/analysis+discussion is great, but I try to keep things not suuuuper OTT negative. I don’t want anyone to feel bad about liking things.)

(No yucking anyone’s yum unless it’s Tim Seeley writing Red Hood vs. Anarky. I will never be nice about that comic and nobody can make me.)

Hopefully you’ll get some better info, anon!

#ask answered #in a very roundabout and rambling way that boils down to ‘I don’t have a good answer’ sigh.#Dick Grayson #Nightwing #i have seen some panels of RiC gRaYsOn that have made me Intrigued (tm) ngl.#i am a shallow beast at heart.#hopefully some of these words were useful.#god Bruno Redondo…I resent your eye for aesthetics because otherwise I could just look away.

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marnz · 1 year

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speaking of valley book,

i keep struggling with wanting tyler to be likeable before catching myself and being like, who cares? truly, who cares. i think one of my main cautions about this project (once i figured out what i was writing) was i and society in general spend a lot of time thinking about men who are violent. frankly we spend a lot of time justifying it. i think this is done to give us the illusion of agency, of control. if we understand why it happened we can avoid it, etc. it’s my job to think about why my characters do what they do! characters need to have complex motivations, even if they swear up and down their motivations are the opposite of what they truly are. you cannot have people just doing things! so for tyler i understand why he is the way he is and why he’s doing what he’s doing (for me it’s often a backwards discovery process).

but in no way am i writing a redemption arc. i am not interested in redemption, as a whole. the project of redemption makes me uneasy, i suppose, because it’s categorizing people as good or bad and giving them little check marks on their way to being Good. i like redemption arcs in like...TV. Person of Interest has a banger redemption arc for Root. arguably Jamie is in the middle of his redemption arc on Ted Lasso. both are very compelling to me. But i don’t really love them in books. books have a different job. and while i love to see people change, i love that complicated process as development of character. but what even is good and what even is bad! is good good or is good likeable? can you give me a character who does stuff and give me a coherent depiction of their headspace and their reasoning? i am more interested in this than surfing through good and evil. i’m not sure this makes sense. when i was writing my fantasy series, i wanted to consciously stay away from good and evil because fantasy has this ludicrous tradition of like. The Forces of Darkness, etc. instead i just made the entire thing about politics, which is arguably where real evil hangs out.

anyway i think there’s a way to depict character development and change in books without labeling it As A Redemptive Arc. labeling it flattens it. i am not sure this makes sense, i am just thinking out loud about why redemption arcs are a little weird to me. maybe it’s because i am very easily won over by characters expressing emotion even if they work for The Forces of Darkness or whatever. of course there’s an important message that we all suck and are all capable of doing horrible things and we’re also all capable of doing good things...

maybe it is because (for me) redemption implies humanity. it implies empathy. and it implies them having to do things and reach a certain point before being given dignity. which i don’t think...is fair..they shouldn’t have to be redeemed for this to happen...anyway. if you read that, sorry, let me know what you think. i’m just vibing and thinking aloud

#currently #thinking also about characters who tv tried to give a redemptive arc (KATE ARGENT) and i was like 'no lol'#just let villains suck...#of course i understand why kate did the things she did but please do not ask me to like her #it was not compelling. sorry.#someone being compelling is MORE important than someone being likeable #kate was compelling in that i hate her with the passion of 10000 suns #she's a very good character #let her suck.

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annyankers · 1 year

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train tell me about your xander 👀 (please?) (also hi)

XANDDDDERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY SO--- for one thing I have a tag for him on here that’s xander (train’s version) (we see a pattern here lol) also my old rp blog for him is @andhaert which has some things like headcanons and aesthetics.

For starters I use Liam James, especially in his role as Billy Bennett, for my actor for Xander for a few reasons:

1. It helps mentally separate this version of Xander from canon!Xander who we all know is Very Contentious whether you think he should be or not, also helps to separate Xander from the actions of his original actor Nicholas Brendan. This is kind of a standard practice in the tumblr rp world (swapping out your actor when you find out the original is Kinda Yikes) where I started to develop my Xander Concepts more coherently and it’s stuck.

2. I think Liam works really well as an actor for Xander both in looks and acting and his role as Billy really highlights it as they’re similar characters.

3. It’s probably his most prominent role atm that I know of so it’s the easiest to get content for. He also works for me as Xander with his normal brown hair but the mohawk is the dominant look.

Moving on from there I really just like..... think about Xander in terms of what we know about him factually and textually and then separate that from the Whedon and 90s teen male tv character taints. Whedon has said that Xander is like, mary sue-ish self insert of his high school self and i feel like it shows and frankly holds his character back a LOT. I’m actually a rabid Xander stan I think he has a lot of potential and good in him. I just feel like both the writers and the fandom don’t really uh..... wanna actually engage with it or his character lol.

We know canonically that Xander comes from a poor, abusive and unstable household. We see in the show evidence of verbal and emotional abuse and heavy neglect. There’s literally a scene somewhere in S1 or S2 that I don’t wanna spend and hour finding in the transcripts where he has to remind his own mom she has a son which is played for comedy but is like um... WOW. It’s implied both of his parents are alcoholics and honestly I think his father is physically abusive (I can’t remember if it’s actually canon or not but it just you know, the Vibe is There).

I don’t think we really see? A lot of that? In how he acts? Like we do see some of it but say, compared to how much the show loves to gorge itself on Buffy’s trauma the amount of time spent on Xander’s trauma and struggles at home is laughable.

So I tend to write Xander as the true ADHD loser burnout he is and things like the dyed mohawk, ratty clothes, punk shirts and bands and skater energy Billy has just like.... Works™ for Xander. Same with the ADHD energy. Xander strikes me as a kid from a bad home with learning disabilities who’s given up on school and has turned to staying out of the house as much as possible, weed/substances, and acting out for attention as ways to cope with his shitty life. He’s sad and desperate and begging for someone to care about him and the only person who does truly give a shit about him when we meet him is Willow with whom he’s in a kinda co-dependent clingfest with because of the huge amount of insecurities they both have.

I’m genuinely sad we didn’t get skater!Xander for the whole high school era and i’m making it happen for society. It fits in soooo well with the whole Vibe the show is going for. Also I made him worse and now he likes Ska because it’s the 90s and also just look at him. Ofc Xander would like Ska. It also adds in some interesting shit with the Xander-Spike dynamic to have Xander more on the ska/skater/burnout end of punk and spike on the more trad/this is a sociopolitical statement/i’m here for the ART side of punk. It does NOT give them an immediate middle ground but it DOES give them the ability to clock each other in 0.00005 seconds. Like Spike sees him in a Descendants shirt and is like “oh I immediately know everything i need to know about you now”.

I also just think it’s more real????? I find generally with people/kids that part of why they get into subculture and special interests and such is to Cope with things. I will never forget when this dude in high school basically told me he was so in the paint for sonic the hedgehog because it was the only thing keeping him fucking sane and it altered my whole fucking concept of life and reality. I physically cannot look at sonic the same now and every time I see it I think of him and all the other people who’re into it and I’m just like “godspeed mother fuckers may you find peace in those fucking emeralds”.

Even while trying to remove the elements of his character that I think are like, creator or era taint that tends to end up skewing the conversation around him from actually being about him to being about Other Shit I don’t remove his dogshit creeper energies in like, high school, especially 1x1 to 1x6. They get better over time sure but I think it’s important to show that side of him. His dad is the Worst and Jesse-- one of his ONLY friends-- is a Massive Creep and he’s a Teen Boy. It’s really not that shocking that when he’s like 16 he just.... Sucks So Bad. All teens Kinda Suck, it’s literally part of growing up. It’s things tho like The Pack that help to start not just him changing but galvanizing others into looking out for him more.

(including the gifs as breaks in the behemoth lol kill meeeeee)

For one thing I will die on the hill that XANDER WAS ALSO A VICTIM OF THE HYENA POSSESSION AND THE SA ATTEMPT. That’s not something he’d do, want to do or ever try to do and it occurred while he did not have full autonomous control of his actions. I’ve seen some REAL DOGSHIT TAKES ON THIS ONE AND I WILL SHOOT ON SIGHT OVER THIS.

I tend to see him trying to cover it up as him trying to compartmentalize and repress the trauma of it instead of whatever the fuck THAT was in the show. I also think it really only works for so long before he loses it because I don’t think he can look Buffy in the eye without mcfucking losing it because he just feels so awful about it. Which is what prompts like..... the only moment of Giles giving a shit about Xander because he talks to him about it and helps him find a way to get some help (be it Giles himself or whatever professional-ish help they can get him given his situation and the desire to keep his parents out of it).

And that’s one of the huge differences in My Xander™ just like, he fucking-- he fucking SEES the fucking guidance counselor or some shit for you know, THE CHILD ABUSE, NEGLECT AND SA TRAUMA. Which I mean... he probably should’ve been already give how guidance counselors work but dskjghsdkfj shhhhhhh. It’s then with that, friendship, dating Cordy and Time that he starts to get less and less shitty and more Baby Boy Little Guy Meow Meow Deluxe. He still cheats on Cordy and says shitty stuff but like... there’s a noticeable overall improvement in him over S1 to S3. He’s not getting full on grade A therapy and all that but like, he’s being given a sounding board and some tools and the thing is that Xander at his core IS A VERY GOOD AND SWEET PERSON!!!! So really it’s just all about getting him to a place where all the bullshit beaten into him by his dad and SoCieTy is out of the way so he can Be A Good Boy™.

I maintain his crush on Buffy and his struggle with it over the years but I also have it kinda Die finally around S4 and then not hang around as a weird Complex for the rest of the fucking series. Seeing how he absolutely fumbled his whole relationship with Cordy and then how his relationship with Anya is going in Some Kind of Direction it all helps to finally shut the door on that for him and he really whole chestedly embraces his role as best friendboy after that. I think especially around then when he’s being a MANIAC trying to save up to gtfo out his parents’ house and Buffy’s having a Crisis about like... being a votech gal in academic world they really hardcore bond. They’re both smart but neither of them are really made for academics or classical office vibe jobs and it’s just something people like Willow and Giles will never get. It’s basically ADHD kid solidarity and they’re finally able to achieve their final friendship form without his pining issues out of the way.

I think also to make Spike’s Yoko Factor Nonsense make ANY sense Xander should actually BE SEEN CONSIDERING JOINING THE MILITARY and it’s ENTIRELY because they have that whole recruitment thing of like “join up and we pay for your education/board/etc” and he’s DESPERATE to get out of his shitty home life. Like he cannot get a half decent job for more than a fucking week, he’s desperate for money and stability and idk he didn’t die that one time on halloween and he monster hunts w/o dying either so maybe he can handle this???? and finally Escape????? but then there’s a lot of Classic Xander Strife around the choice and a genuine fear that if he leaves they’ll just... get on with their lives just fine. which would be crushing for him, that he contributed so little they just kept going with out a hitch.

Season 5 to Season 7 is really where Xander for me comes out to be just like.... the carebear godsend hero that he’s supposed to be. Like he’s talked about as the Heart of the Scoobies and Buffy’s metaphorical heart but while he does do a solid job mirroring/expressing/etc her heart he’s kind of a shitty one for the group. Like if he’s supposed to be the MOST EMPATHETIC SCOOBY IN THE GANG THEN JFC YIKES.

By S5 everyone else’s lives are like, officially starting to fall apart while Xander’s is getting more certain and more together. He’s like, Maturing. Like a fine Faygo. And even better he’s finding the balance between being Goofy Silly Mohawk Nerd Xander and like, Adult Big Boy Xander. I think that Xanya and Spuffy should be even BIGGER parallels especially in this season with Xanya being like the more wholesome human/demon romantic relationship dynamic-- basically PROVING that it CAN work-- something that can then be used to lampshade the issue in S6 when Spuffy enter toxic hookup hell. What Spike is asking for ISN’T insane, Xander and Anya ARE DOING IT!! wHaT’s ThE pRoBlEm BuFfY?!?!?!

But Anya’s human you say!!! it’s totally different!!!

Shut the fuck up she was a demon for 1,000 years, had a soul the whole time and never once feels bad for her past actions. She’s in the same boat as Spike you’re just a sheeple falling prey to the broken ass soul propaganda.

It’s also an opportunity with the solidification of his relationship with Anya as like Something Real and not young adult horny relationshiping to show how he really is as a person. Less of the belittling “helpful” comments and more him just like, genuinely LISTENING to her and LEARNING her language like we see him do when he’s Suave!Xander in 5x3. like he Hears her and then is able to almost IMMEDIATELY understand what she’s actually saying/where her anxiety is coming from. I love the idea of Xander basically always being the most kneejerk reactionary to all situations and sometimes saying Dumb Shit because of that but then also being the only one who’s brave enough to then circle back later and reevaluate his stance.

Like he’ll say something that hurts someone’s feelings then be willing to circle back unprompted and look at himself with harsh honesty and see what he did and what’s going on with him then act accordingly and adjust/apologize/reconsider his stance/etc. Basically if Buffy is a bleeding heart then Xander should be too and the thing that makes him The Heart™ and not Buffy is that unlike her he is unwilling or unable to close off his heart to anything. Buffy can face off against the hordes of Hell but will collapse under the threat of emotional honesty with even herself. Xander was raised in Hell and not unlike Angel tbh, has to constantly reevaluate his like Whole Existence to make sure he’s not becoming what he hates-- the very real and human monstrosity that his parents represent.

His whole goal in life is to not be his father. His superpower that not even Buffy has is that he’s so incredibly brave in the face of human evil, human cruelty AND emotional vulnerability. He’s been mocked, ridiculed, bullied and tormented his entire life and he’s still stayed big hearted and intensely kind when it counted his entire life. He’s open, thoughtful, understanding, empathetic and more than willing and able to put himself in the other guy’s shoes. Something none of the others can manage like... at all lol. His relationship with Anya should be in part about showing us this and it only fails because he’s like what... 21? and still working through all his bullshit around his shitty family. Not because they were a broken couple which is more the show vibe no matter how they wanna pretend like he wasn’t a shitty boyfriend to Anya for 2 seasons lol.

I think it’s important in the back end to have at least one of them still semi-functional and Xander’s already been living in “I have to do something about my life bc otherwise I will Become That Which I Fear” hell since high school. He’s the furthest along on that road and the emotional anchor of the group so ofc he fucking sam gamgee carries them all up the side of mt doom for like 2 solid seasons lol.

my depiction of Xander is always about healing, growth and the power of empathy, love and kindness. I feel like making him more subculture-y and with a certain amount of substance abuse (weed and booze mainly) makes sense given his history. I think he’s the foil to Angel and Spike (and Giles in someways) and their own explorations around toxic masculinity and masculinity in general. He unpacks the damage done by his father way more efficiently than Angel ever does and he learns how to be more emotionally open without reflexive retaliation when hurt than Spike does. He’s very much trying to get to this place where “I am. And that is enough.” sits well in his chest and permeates his life. Which is more than anyone else in either series can say LOL.

Also just like.... make the whole Xander vs the trio toxic nerd boy culture meta discussion thing actually WORK.

He also highlights in the narrative the idea of there always being another option. He’s not living the expected college life. He’s not acting or dressing like society thinks he should. He’s also found a way to thrive via construction/carpentry and finds a happy place between growing up and not giving up all the things he likes that can be considered childish or lame. He also hasn’t compromised his personality or identity to “be more mature” or “act like an adult”. He refutes the ideas that Giles keeps expressing about what he (Giles) has to do as an Adult or what Buffy should now be capable of as one by just like being a Cringey Little Dude and also Pay Taxes On Time. Like Spike he’s living and working in defiance of a society that has done nothing but hurt him but unlike Spike he’s coming from a place of optimism and compassion.

Xander SHOULD be friend shaped. He and Tara SHOULD be the go-tos on all things emotional. He should be kind, creative, open minded, empathetic, and loving all while also being Kind of a Dick sometimes. When the writers talk about how when they wanted to make the audience upset/riot they’d just put Willow in danger or emotional distress -- by the end of the show that should be Xander!!!!!! by S7 I should be RIOTING if Xander is in danger!!!!!

Also the faith-xander victims of child abuse self recognition via the other vibes oh god the faith-xander victims of child abuse self recognition via the other vibes

He’s just a silly little guy!!!! just a fun little boy!!!! just a harmless little fun-time boy!!!!!! you wouldnt sentence a silly harmless little fun-time boy!!!!! its his birthday!!!!!!

GOD THIS ISN’T EVEN ALL OF IT BUT I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT AND THIS IS SOOOOOOO LONG ALREADY FUCK

(last gif for the road bc this is massive Xander/Cordelia energy)

#train.txt #xander (train’s version)#answered

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icyaslack · 2 years

Text

TUA S3 Spoilers

Ok so I need to externalise my feelings concerning season 3 on way or another. First, I really really liked this season, I think more than season 2. It was darker and more mature, with lighter (and sometimes silly) moments in between. And at last they got to properly curse! THANK YOU! let them say fuck we’re not in a soap ffs! It does have writting flaws and problems but all in all it’s really good and makes me want season 4 so bad! And I’ll need at least 2 rewatch to fully see the little details here and there. The rest under there cos it’s gonna be long.

Luther next. I was quite happy for him this season he got to experience real love and be loved and understood back. Sloane is good for him. The last episodes were especially brutal on him, being killed by his dad whom he literally just forgave is cruel and tragic. He also got nice interactions with most of his siblings too.

Klaus got to grow and see how truly powerful he can be (even if there’s big plotholes here). He’s got a really good arc and really nice and sweet interactions with each siblings, Ben and his mother. Same as Luther he didn’t deserve to be killed by Reginald after being so nice with him and trying so hard to see some good in him.

Vikto is way more bearable this season too. At least he’s trying now, I liked him a lot more. I hope he stays in this path.

Diego went through emotional levels he learnt to be more open and he will make a great dad! All his interactions with Lila were absolutely gold and I’m glad they’re so close by the end they’ll need each other.

I have so many feelings for Five and his arc. Firstly, I really didn’t like howwas handled his relation with Delores, like at all. It was awkward as best and not coherent with what we saw in the other seasons. They reduced his whole trauma and complicated mental paths to simple romance... I’m disapointed. But the whole him being the Founder of the Commission thing? I still haven’t properlly understand all the implications here but I know for sure it’s fucking tragic and mindblowing, but it’s interesting and I hope we’ll learn more, even if I really doubt we will. The whole scene where he meets his other self? It killed me, both Aidan Gallagher and Sean Sullivan are remarkable. They don’t have a lot of time, but the emotions man!! The’yre perfect and they both broke my heart. I know the writers will not give Five time to process all of it and if it does it’ll be just implied. Just like the fact he apparently talked to at least Diego about the barn?! And we didn’t get any of their reactions to that. A lot of explaining is done behind camera and I hate that. Another scene that killed me is when Five lost his arm, his dominant one on top of that! I think I blacked-out a little, I needed to rewind. It was brutal and nobody gave a fuck, I know they didn’t really had time to react but a comment would have been nice. He’s so strong and his pain tolerance! God! I don’t even dare think about what went through his mind then... I’m glad he had some happy time with his family though, but he clearly drank way more this season too. I frankly need to know his full speech at the wedding. He got absolutely sweet mometns with his siblings, the dances and the bachelor party, the roadtrip with Klaus... I do think it helped in his decision to not try to save the Universe, he was content. This whole process might seem quite random considering he tried for 45 years to save the world but it kinda made sense, I need to think more about it to form an opinion.Especially about the last episode.

Finally I can say I haven’t emotionally recovered and I have a lot of questions but in a good way.

#TUA spoilers #Five Hargreeves #Number Five #Allison Hargeeves #Luther Hargreeves #Klaus Hargreeves #Diego Hargreeves #Viktor Hargreeves #my favourite old man #file d'attente

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standing-restart · 2 years

Note

So this post

I get where this was intended on going but when I saw it all I could think of was trans masc rope bunny reader getting tied up all pretty by a driver.

Which driver/drivers do you think are the ones who are really into shibari and restraints? Who's into the bondage side more vs who is into the artistic side more? Just all things rope my friend. That's about as coherent as I'm getting right now.

- 🔐

Wanders in here with my coffee and an unmatched determination to ramble about all things rope!

Once again, these are all my personal headcanons, and you don’t need to agree with them in the slightest. There are some other drivers I can see fitting in here, but I’ve already talked about them and rope on here, so to avoid repeating myself too much - a new list (ft este, because I apparently wasn’t done rambling ...)

Guanyu: believe me when I say that Guanyu is absolutely into the artistic side of shibari. He just gives me the vibes of someone who loves to make his partner look pretty. Skilled fingers tying the prettiest knots. He uses it to truly make you into an artwork (and he includes props for that, too. think this as an example.) Sessions with him are mostly focused on just one body part, due to the sheer amount of time he’ll take just focusing on your arm. It isn‘t at all sexual for him, he just loves showing you how pretty you are to him through the media of rope. I can also see him giving you something like this for a short lived public outing. The both of you play it off as fashion, even when it’s pushing it.

Esteban: I’ve already talked about Este and suspension play ... and I’m honestly not done with that. So here’s round 2! His designs are intricate most of the time. He never really uses any other form of restrains (unless you specifically ask you for it.) he’s such a soft dom when working on you, showering you in praise when he uses his hands to create works like this. The suspension part of a session is his absolute favourite, and that does tend to turn sexual with him, even when it’s just a buildup of energy - slightly bubbling underneath every touch of his fingertips against your skin. He can tie you up without even getting hard, but the second you’re in the air, you know he’s straining against his underwear. Anyway, he’ll make sure you look absolutely gorgeous like this.

Max: I strongly feel that Max would be in the whole power play side of the dynamic. He isn’t patient enough for artistic shibari. Doesn’t have the time to sit and learn. However, he’s more than happy to tie you up with a simple knot around the wrists and ankles. He‘s a big fan of leather cuffs like this and this. Frankly, he does not have the patience to create the desired effect with rope by his own hands, and even trying would be too frustrating for the both of you anyway. Regardless, he loves putting you in restrains, as long as he doesn’t need to put too much manual labour into creating them ... oh, they’re absolutely marked with his name and/or the number 33 too.

Yuki: he is an interesting mix between artistic shibari and sexual bondage. Whatever the mood might be, he’s always going to restrain you in one way or another. Cuffs around your wrists and ankles, or a design like this to wear when you’re kneeling at his feet. He says that it’s a Japanese art, so naturally, he has to be good at it. But the both of you know that it soothes him in the same manner that it does you. The shibari is for the both of you to relax, to gather your breath and to strengthen that trust. The bondage is for that too, but in a different way. When the bondage cuffs come out - you know it’s a whole different dynamic. It’s the difference between a soft dom and a hard dom.

#if you see me gnawing on my hand ..... yes #ZG #EO #MV #YT #nsfw.txt #🔐

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