Tumgik
#I feel like I’ve never done this and I want to start to
worldlxvlys · 15 hours
Note
I have a request, if you’re taking them
can you do a dwb!Matt where reader relapses badly, and he has to help her through her withdrawals
if not that’s totally cool, but I’m a sucker for angsts so I thought I’d ask
help you
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
dealer! matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: angst, drug addiction/ withdrawals, mentions of nausea, cursing
a/n -> please read with caution !!
i love you all and my dms are always open if you need to talk <33
MATT’S POV
“i’m fine, matt” she said for what had to be the millionth time.
she smacked my hand away with her own, while she attempted to pour water into a cup with her free one.
her hands were so shaky, she could barely get any of it in the cup. she let out a frustrated sigh, setting the pitcher down onto the counter.
“here” i spoke as i poured the water for her, handing her the glass.
“you hungry?” i asked as i grabbed a paper towel, cleaning up the spill.
“no” she spoke, moving her arm to her forehead to wipe the sweat that began to accumulate.
“when’s the last time you ate something?” i asked her.
“can we turn down the heat?” she asked, continuing to wipe her sweaty skin.
“the heat isn’t on, here” i spoke as i grabbed a washcloth, soaking it in cool water. i folded the washcloth in half, guiding her to sit down on the couch.
she placed the washcloth on her forehead, laying her head back with a sigh.
“is there anything you actually want to eat?” i asked, moving back towards her refrigerator. i was aware that she didn’t have an appetite, but she hadn’t eaten all day long.
“no, matt. i just don’t want to feel like this, i wanna go back to normal” she replied. “how long is this gonna last ? i don’t think i can take much more of this”
“hey, it’s ok. i’m gonna help you through this” i spoke as i made my way back to her, a granola bar in hand.
“no, you don’t get it. i feel like i’m dying, matt. my entire body aches, the thought of food makes me nauseous, i’m covered in sweat, and i’ve never felt weaker in my life. you wanna help? let me take something, anything. please, i need it matt” she looked at me with her eyes slightly widened, clutching onto my shirt.
i’d never seen her look so helpless.
“you know i can’t do that, baby” i spoke, grabbing her hand. “i’m gonna run you a bath, ok? how hot do you want the water?” i asked her.
“a bath isn’t gonna do shit, matt. you know what i need. let me take something or leave me alone”
“i’m trying to help you-” i started, quickly being cut off, “help me? you did this to me. this is your fault. tell me, what do you think happens when you sell drugs to people? do you know how many people you’ve made just like me? you’re no saint, matt. you’re actively helping people ruin their lives”
she didn’t mean it. of course, she didn’t . she’d say anything to get her fix. but that didn’t make her words hurt any less.
she wasn’t telling me anything i hadn’t told myself before. and i hated that i let her end up like this. she was right, this was my fault.
i should’ve done a better job at protecting her, at keeping her safe. i couldn’t do anything about failing in the past, but i damn sure could prevent it from happening in the future.
“you’re right, this is my fault. but letting you erase your progress now would only end up hurting you more in the long run. the only way i can help you is by being here for you. so you can yell at me, be mad at me, be annoyed with me, i don’t care. i’m not going anywhere, okay?”
instead of saying anything she just blinked up at me, nodding her head gently.
“now, how hot do you want your bath water?”
Tumblr media
dwb! matt masterlist
main masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
222 notes · View notes
xxbimbobunnyxx · 18 hours
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Baby’s Gotta Gun (Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader)
Tumblr media
Summary: You’ve been in a situationship with Rafe for over a year and when you show up to his party that he invited you to and there’s another girl all over him, you’ve finally had it. WK: 1.3k
Warnings: Gun play, unprotected sex, jealousy, possessiveness, reader is a lil unhinged, switch!Rafe, switch!reader, a lil fluff dashed in. Porn/no plot. 18+MNDI!
This is for me and @babygorewhore’s Writing Prompt Game, feel free to click the link and come play!!🤍
Tumblr media
“Tell me, tell me who owns this fucking cock.” You run the tip of his pistol over his plush split slick lips while you bounce on his cock like your life depends on it. The sound of your wet cunt and hips slapping together echoing through the room.
“You - fuckin’ shit - you do baby, you own my cock.” Rafe’s eyes roll back when you start to rotate your hips, his large hands grip onto the fat of your ass while you ride him like a fucking succubus.
“Didn’t I tell you to fucking look at me while I take what’s mine, huh?” You move the gun to his head, shoving it against his temple as your free hand grips onto his jaw, squeezing his cheeks together until he opens his eyes. “You look those other girls in the eyes while you fuck them or do you just get it in and move on? Because when you fuck me you take your time, tell me how beautiful I am and how much I mean to you but then you’re buried in the next hoe you see.”
“Baby, I’m sorry. You know - oh fuuuck - you know you’re my girl.” Rafe feels like he’s about to fucking bust any second. Your pace doesn’t falter for a moment, fucking yourself on his cock like you’re trying to drain him of every drop of cum in his body. Driven by pure jealousy and rage.
“Yeah? You’re always fucking saying that, Cameron. But then shit like this happens. I show up to your party, that you invited me to and there’s some bitch on your lap with her tongue down your throat the minute I get here?” You run the barrel of the gun down the side of his face as you chuckle darkly, using your grip on his jaw to shake his head side to side. “If you don’t want anything serious why are you always buying me shit? Scaring off every dude that talks to me? Telling everyone I belong to you while you’re out fucking around?”
“It’s just… baby, shit, if you keep fucking me like that I’m gonna fucking blow my load any second.” Rafe hates to admit that your possessive jealousy is only turning him on more. The crazy look in your eyes, the way you’re fucking him like you own him, while you hold his gun. It’s really fucking doing it for him.
“Don’t you dare fucking cum, Rafe. I’m not done with you. Answer my god damn question.” You slow your pace a bit as you take his face in both of your hands, the grip you still have on the pistol causing it to press against the side of his head.
“I’m sorry, I’m all yours from now on, alright? I fuckin’ mean it. I was just scared, baby. You’re too perfect for me. Knew if I made you mine for real I’d have to marry you someday.” He’s not even sure why he said that, it’s not like he hasn’t subconsciously thought about it before. You were perfect in every way before but this possessive display just makes him want you even more.
“HA! Thirty minutes ago you were dry humping some girl you’ve never talked to and now you’re talking marriage? Be so fucking for real, Rafe.” You bring the gun to his temple again, leaning in so your lips are brushing the shell of his ear. “If you were a real man you would’ve made it official a fucking year ago.”
That was the final straw for him. If you didn’t wanna believe him he would fucking show you how serious he was. He grips onto the gun, easily ripping it from your hand while his other arm wraps around your waist, using his hold on you to flip you on your back. He hovers over you, turning the tables on you by pressing the gun against the side of your head.
“Will you just shut the fuck up for a second. You’re my girl, aight? My girl.”
“I’ve heard that like a million times, pretty boy, doesn’t mean shit to me. You really think I’m gonna just-“ your words are cut short when he slips the gun between your lips.
“I said stop talking, I fucking mean it every time I say it. And you’re right. I was being a pussy bitch. But now I’m gonna show you who you belong to, who I belong too.” He pulls the barrel out of your mouth slightly before slipping it back between your lips. “Suck.”
You roll your eyes, leaving your lips open. He grips onto his cock, slamming it into your wet pussy in one swift motion, starting up at the brutal pace. “I” Thrust. “Said” Thrust. “Fucking suck.”
Your eyes roll back, this time in pleasure, as your wrap your lips around the cool metal, swirling your tongue.
“Hey” His large hand slaps your cheek lightly. “Fucking look at me while I take what’s mine.”
Your eyes fly open and you're met with his intense ocean blue stare as he fucks you hard and deep, his balls slapping against your ass with every thrust of his hips. “Yeah, there’s my fucking girl.”
He pulls the gun from your mouth, pushing himself up on his knees, his thrusts never faltering. He smirks down at you before bringing the spit slick barrel to your clit, circling it in time with his cock pounding into you.
“Ohmyfuckinggod!” You cry out as you cum, your walls pulsing around him.
“Yeah that’s it, fuckin’ cum for me, that’s my girl. Say it, say you’re my girl.”
“I’m your girl, daddy, I’m your girl.” You babble and Rafe smirks, knowing he has you right where he wants you now that you’re back to calling him his rightful title.
“And I’m yours baby, got it? Always been yours. Always thought about you. Always felt shitty and just wanted to see you after I fucked around with anyone else.” He feels his high start to build, tossing the gun to the side before he leans down, covering your body with his. He laces his fingers with yours and captures your lips in a surprisingly tender kiss, that completely contradicted the way he was fucking you.
“Yeah, you’re fucking mine. I’ll kill any bitch that tries to touch you.” You practically growl, burying your face into his neck so you can suck on his skin, marking him as yours.
“That’s so fucking hot - shiiiit, baby girl, I’m gonna cum. Gonna fill my pretty little pussy up.” You bite down onto his shoulder as your long manicured nails scratch down his back, marking him up even further and it sends him over the edge. His hips still against yours as his cock twitches inside you, painting your walls with his cum. “Yeah, that’s a fuckin’ good girl, take my fuckin’ cum.”
Rafe rolls off of you, panting as he falls to his side. He pulls you into him and you lay your head on his chest, placing a soft kiss on his peck.
“Did you mean all of that?” You ask nervously, afraid to look at him.
“Babe, look at me.” He cradles your face in his hand urging you to look up at him. When your eyes meet his, he smiles softly. “You’re my girl, okay? And I’m yours. No more games. No more bitches. Just you and me, aight?”
“Yeah, alright. That sounds nice, daddy.” He leans down, kissing you passionately as he weaves his fingers through your hair.
“Plus, I’ll kill any guy that even breathes your air.”
“Yeah? Well I’ll kill any bitch that even thinks about you.” He chuckles, placing another gentle kiss on your lips. After this? He kinda believes you. But he doesn’t mind, because he would kill for you anyday.
Tumblr media
208 notes · View notes
latenightdaydreams · 16 hours
Note
https://twitter.com/luxus_hella/status/1633399608041951232?t=xXrG757t_EISG_u7jzBu5A&s=19
Can you write about Konig and reader who can squirt a lot like that? And Konig can stay up whole night to fuck her, the bedroom will totally be a massive mess afterwards 😋
That video is wild! I feel like König would go FEARAL watching y/n squirt like that😮‍💨
König x TooWet!Reader (fem)
MDNI🔞
Master List
>cw: fem/afab, oral, p in v, squirting
1.0k word count
.
.
König has started to date recently after retiring from KorTac. He spent hours wasted on dating apps when one day while on a walk he bumped into you. You instantly caught his eye, and your natural flirty nature made him gravitate towards you. You didn’t act afraid of him because of his size, you seemed to enjoy it. A few weeks into dating, you invited him into your home after a goodnight kiss. One thing led to another…
“Oh god yes!”
You moan at the top of your lungs as you lie naked on your bed, your legs spread wide open and König’s naked body lingers over you. His muscles flexed as he quickly moved his two fingers in and out of your little cunt. Just two of his fingers fill you and your orgasm is quickly building.
König leans down and kisses your cheek softly as he focuses on the sounds of your moans increasing. He knows you’re about to cum and he is filled with excitement that he’s gotten you to this point. His lips move down the side of your face to your neck. He plants wet kisses, biting lightly every now and then.
“Cum for me Liebling,” he pants slightly from his arm, pumping in and out so rapidly.
You look at him nodding your head as your eyes roll back and your moans turn into small screams of pleasure. You feel a pressure building up that you’ve never felt before, but you allow yourself to feel it all. And then, you squirt. A lot. König feels you squirt on his chest as he looks down and sees a geyser and he smiles wide. He moves his hand back and forth on your clit disrupting the stream and spraying it around the bed and the both of you.
Once it ends you lay there feeling embarrassed, you’ve never done that before. You look at König to see a wide smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes. He looks at the mess he has helped you create and he feels so proud.
“Mein Gott, I didn’t know you could do that.” He leaned down and began to kiss your lips with a new found passion. You’ve triggered something in you and all he can think about is making you do that again.
“I didn’t know I could…” You say meekly.
“That’s- that was your first-time squirting?”
“Yes.”
He can sense the embarrassment in your voice and kisses the tip of your nose before rubbing his wet hand along your soaked thighs.
“I loved it,” his voice low and dripping with desire. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”
You blush and cover your face with your hands while giggling. He chuckles as his fingers gently begin to touch your folds, teasing you.
“Let me make you squirt again Liebling.” Slowly his fingers slip into your pussy again.
You let out a pathetic moan and he curls his fingers upwards and fingers you. He leans his face down to your thighs and begins to kiss up and down, licking the liquid still dripping from them. Your hand moves to his head, grasping his light blonde hair. He takes the signal and moves his mouth to your sweet pussy. His fat tongue parting your glistening folds, tasting you. 
You look down at him panting, your body becoming consumed by the feeling of ecstasy. His blue eyes looking back up at you, taking in the look of pleasure on your face. You press his face more into your pussy, he loves it and breaths you in while wrapping his lips around your clit. His erect cock leaking on his thigh, eager to fuck you.
“König, please!”
He keeps his fingers moving at the same pace so he doesn’t ruin your orgasm. Your back arches and you try to push his head away but he doesn’t budge, not wanting to stop so you can cum. You begin to squirm before your body tenses and you cum again. König opens his mouth and moves his face back and forth, drinking you in. He laps at your dripping cunt like a thirsty dog, burying his face into you. He thinks he’s falling in love.
His face and your thighs are shiny and dripping wet. The bed sheets and comforter are completely soaked with your squirt. He can not believe he found you. He’s never had a woman squirt before, let alone one to ruin the bed with. He is nowhere near done with you. He wants to know all the ways he can make you squirt.
Once he pulls away, he reaches over to the bedside table and grabs the condom he put in his wallet, anticipating this night with you. You watch him slip the condom down over his cock and get back between your legs. He slaps his cock on your pussy, rubbing your clit with the head.
“Are you ready, Liebling?” His eyes look over your body. You’re stunning. Your body is like a work of art.
“Yeah,” you’re still trying to catch your breath after everything that just happened. Your gentle gaze looking up at him.
His large hands grasp your thighs and gently squeeze your soft flesh. He moves your legs back and apart. Moving his hips, he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes forward slightly. His eyes move from watching him penetrate you to watching your face contort with pleasure.
“Oh god,” you moan out as you feel your small cunt being stretched like never before. “Fuck me.”
The eagerness of you voice sends chills down his spine as he begins to fuck you hard. The fat tip of his dick rubbing back and forth over your g spot, König moving his thumb to gently rub over your clit in small circles. He feels how tight you’re squeezing him and after all of the excitement of watching you squirt; he has to mentally tell himself to not cum yet. He wants to trigger the water works with his thick cock.
König didn’t go home that night. Neither of you really even got any sleep, he lost count on how many times he made you orgasm; giving him the biggest ego. Around 4 am you both end up sleeping on the floor because the bed is just too soaked.
170 notes · View notes
moonlightperseus · 1 day
Text
breathe in the feeling
ambiguously set after the first half of s7 | 867 words
Being in love with Buck wasn’t an option.
It can’t be an option.
Because if it was, Eddie might do something stupid, like kiss his best friend.
Which is—not an option.
Eddie’s done that song and dance before, and that ended badly—leaving and being left, divorce papers, blood on hot asphalt.
But the thing is, Eddie can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been over a month since Buck came out to him, and Eddie can’t stop thinking about how Buck is an option now.
Which isn’t even entirely true, because Buck is with Tommy—Buck is happy with Tommy—and Eddie feels like his entire world is collapsing in on itself.
He broke up with Marisol last week, something that up until this moment, he hadn’t told anyone, not even Christopher—which he knows he can only avoid for so long.
He’s not even sure why he’s telling Bobby, because now Bobby is staring at him quizzically and Eddie is feeling closer to a panic attack than he’s been in a long time.
“You broke up with Marisol,” Bobby repeats back to him, because he’s been waiting for Eddie to continue and Eddie has made a point out of staring at his hands and not saying anything as his brain spirals. “Do you want to talk about that?”
“No,” Eddie says, because he really doesn’t—but he sucks in a sharp breath and rips the band-aid off anyways, “I think I might be in love with Buck.”
Bobby doesn’t say anything for what feels like an eternity.
Eddie finally gives in and looks at him, Bobby’s face is a carefully crafted blank expression—he’s processing the information Eddie has given him, but he’s not going to give any reaction in the meantime.
Eddie resists dropping his head against the table and instead settles for staring at the dormant alarm bell on the wall and hoping for it to start ringing to save him from this situation.
“I see,” Bobby says finally, “that’s… that must be a lot for you to process.”
“Understatement of the century,” Eddie mumbles, allowing himself to drop his head into his hands—it’s not quite as satisfying as the thunk of his forehead against the table would be.
“So how long have you been… processing this?”
“I don’t know, a couple weeks, maybe—” —my whole life, possibly, he doesn’t say.
A hand lands on his shoulder, the touch is gentle and grounding, and Eddie is reminded of why he went to Bobby in the first place.
“Eddie,” Bobby says carefully, “there’s nothing wrong with it—being in love with Buck. If that is how you feel, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Eddie exhales slowly, because that’s the whole thing, isn’t it? “I know that—logically, I know that. I’ve never had a problem with—I guess it’s different, when it’s yourself. But it’s not like it’s even—I mean, Buck’s with Tommy—Buck’s happy with Tommy—and Tommy’s my friend too, so it is kind of wrong, in a way.” 
“Buck being in a relationship with someone else doesn’t make your feelings for him invalid—or wrong. Sure, maybe it’s a little complicated since you consider them both friends. But whatever you’re feeling—you’re allowed to feel it.” 
“But what am I supposed to do with it?” Eddie finally meets Bobby’s gaze, “I mean—I feel like I’m lying to Buck, somehow, by feeling this way—by not saying anything.”
“Maybe you don’t have to do anything with it, at least—not right away,” Bobby squeezes his shoulder before removing his hand, “maybe right now you just let yourself feel it. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be honest with Buck, but I think maybe you should start by allowing yourself to be honest with you.” 
Eddie stares at Bobby, completely and painfully aware of his own heart beating in his chest, it’s not a panic attack, but he knows it’s a warning sign. 
He takes a moment to breathe slowly, the way Frank taught him. Bobby says nothing, waiting patiently 
“I don’t know what that looks like.” Eddie says honestly. 
Bobby offers him a kind smile, “That’s okay, you don’t have to have it all figured out, but maybe allow yourself the time to really think about it?”
“What if I lose him?” The words spill out of him unbidden. 
“Eddie, if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that you and Buck have a way of finding each other, no matter the circumstance, the two of you will always fight to find each other again.” 
Eddie blinks, and for a moment, all he sees is Buck, covered in Eddie’s own blood, begging for him to hold on. 
He blinks again, and the memory fades, and it’s just Bobby sitting there in front of him, watching him carefully.
“Let yourself feel it, Eddie,” Bobby says gently, “and when you’re ready—talk to Buck.”
The bell rings then, because timing never seems to be on Eddie’s side. 
Bobby sighs softly, “well, duty calls.”
Bobby stands to head towards the engine bay, but before Eddie can do the same, Bobby rests a hand on his shoulder again, “I’m really proud of you, Eddie.”
He lets the words settle over him for a moment—breathing slowly in and out—and then follows after his Captain. 
86 notes · View notes
thatacotargirl · 19 hours
Note
Hello! I read your cassian x reader period fic and absolutely loved it! I had a request if you don't mind...
one with cassian where maybe reader has been a part of the inner circle for a while and because of this her and cassian have been really really close friends for centuries…but one day on the streets reader locks eye with a male who is her mate…but the male is not cassian just some random person…and she is ecstatic that she has finally found her mate and someone she will be able to spend the rest of her life with because even though she has had a major crush on cassian…she knows he will never return those feelings because she finds herself incomparable and insignificant compared to cassian…however later on the male wants to reject the bond because he doesn't find the reader attractive and mocks her and all…she goes crying back home and cassian finds out and comforts her…maybe months later after the bond with the other male was broken…she finds that the mother has given her a new mating bond…that connects her to the one she has always loved…Cassian❤️
Hi!! Thank you so much for your support! And I LOVE your idea - I hope you like what I’ve done with it!
Inbox is always open for requests ❤️
A Cassian x Reader Imagine
The day that Rhysand saved you from the Autumn Court ranks up there with some of the best days of your life. Also up there is the day that he introduced you as a member of his Inner Circle, and your eyes first lay on Cassian.
You didn’t think there was a single person in all of Prythian who would deny Cassian’s beauty. He was in an entirely different league to any male or female you had met before. What started as lust developed into a crush and, over the centuries, turned into feelings you couldn’t quite describe. Although really, they could be summed up quite easily. You had fallen in love with Cassian.
You were sure Cassian did not return those feelings, but you truthfully didn’t mind. You didn’t want anything to risk destroying the friendship that you had with him. Cassian was the first there to pick you back up when you fell, to dry your tears and make you laugh again, to support you and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. It wasn’t a surprise that you ended up falling in love with him. He cared for you in a way no one ever had before, and you were so grateful to have him in your life, even if you knew it would never be how you truly wanted him.
That was why, when you were walking the streets of Velaris after dropping off a letter for Rhysand, you were ecstatic to lock eyes with a blonde male and feel the snap in your chest as the bond clicked into place. After a brief exchange, you agreed to meet for dinner that night, and you rushed back to the River House to get ready.
-
“I found my mate!”, you screeched, running through the River House door. Feyre caught your hands and steadied you.
“You what?!”, she replied, eyes wide.
“I found my mate!!!”, you repeat, practically bouncing in her arms with excitement. Feyre grinned and pulled you into a hug as several bodies appeared behind the pair of you.
“Your mate?”.
You looked over Feyre’s shoulder and straight at Cassian. His face was contorted slightly, almost like he was in pain. You quickly raked up and down his body looking for injuries, but you couldn’t see anything obvious.
“That is wonderful news!”, Rhys smiled, reaching over to pull you into a hug. “I knew the Night Court was the right place for you”. He winked as he let you go, and your friends took it in turns to share their congratulations and shower you with hugs and affection. Cassian approached, a forced smile on his face as he pulled you in for a bear hug.
“I’m so happy for you”, he said. He sounded genuine, but there was something empty about it. You knew that he had hoped a few females over the years had turned into his mate, including one of Feyre’s sisters, but the Mother hadn’t yet blessed him. It must be hard for him to see his friends’ mating bonds snap and not his own.
“Thank you”, you smiled, breathless from all the love of your family. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for a date with my mate”. You beamed as you bounced up the stairs, closely followed by Feyre and Mor who insisted on helping you get ready.
-
Your family waved you off as you left for your date. You chuckled to yourself. They were almost more excited for you than you were for yourself!
As you approached the restaurant, you saw your mate standing by the door. The closer you got, however, the more you felt a deep void in your chest. You tugged the bond as you approached him, a gasp leaving your lips as you realise your figurative hands come up short, the bond no where to be found. Your raise your head to meet his, and his eyes hold an evil gleam.
“You must be stupider than you look if you thought I was going to accept a bond with you”.
You freeze. This wasn’t the same male you spoke with this morning, was it? Seeing your confusion, he takes a step towards you, looming over you in a way so intimidating it made you whimper.
“Look at you. I would be the most foolish man alive to saddle myself with you for all eternity”.
Whilst you did still stick out at the Night Court, quite clearly heralding from different lands, you knew you weren’t unattractive. At least, you didn’t think you were?
You couldn’t bear his smirk any longer. You tried to pull the bond one more time and he noticed.
“It’s gone. Maybe now the Mother will realise the error of her ways and give me a second chance”.
Your heart broke.
You turned on your heels and ran for the River House.
-
Your family were not expecting you back from your date so soon, so when they heard you come thundering through the front door they all stood abruptly from their chairs. You looked in at them, faces full of concern and sorrow, and couldn't bear the pity. You fled up the stairs to the guest room and slammed the door behind you.
It was only a few minutes later that you heard someone knock at the door and Cassian's scent flooded in. He didn't wait for your reply. He walked over to the bed, sat, and pulled you onto his lap. You leaned into his chest and sobbed.
"What happened?".
"He broke the bond. He said only a foolish man would want to be saddled with me".
Cassian's heart hurt as he held you cried harder, soaking his shirt with your tears. He held you closer, trembling with anger that some male you met on the street could reduce you to tears like this, could take advantage of your kind heart, could throw away the one thing that he had prayed to the Mother every night could be his - your heart. He had wished for centuries for you, for your love, to be yours. This male had it in the palm of his hands and had thrown it away.
"What's wrong with me?", you asked quietly, avoiding his gaze.
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You are perfect", Cassian replied back softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
"Then why didn't he want me?", your voice broke as you whispered the question.
Cassian had no answer. He only held you closer and let you cry in his arms.
8 months later
With the help of your family, you had slowly begun to heal. Your heart was mended piece by piece with each bit of love and care they showered you with. Cassian was by your side every spare moment he had, doing everything in his power to make you smile, laugh. It was music to his ears. You had also resumed your duties to the Night Court, after Rhys had insisted you take a prolonged vacation to focus on yourself and your healing.
It was at one of these Night Court meetings that your life changed forever.
You were characteristically late to the monthly Inner Circle meeting, having spent far too long in the library that morning. You ran into the room, out of breath, giving a sheepish and apologetic smile to Rhys. You went to take your seat beside Mor when you heard Cassian's sharp intake of breath. You looked up at him and felt it. The snap. It was so powerful you could have sworn the entire room heard it. Your eyes locked with Cassian's as you heard Feyre gasp, realising what had happened.
"Looks like the Mother gave you that second chance", Rhys smiled, pulling Feyre into his side as they watched the pair of you process what had just happened.
"My mate", Cassian whispered.
"My mate", you replied, breathless.
Within seconds, Cassian had cleared the table, swooped you into his arms, and walked out the room with you.
"I take it we need to reschedule, Cass?", Rhys called after the pair of you, amused.
Neither of you replied, simply gazing at each other as he carried you up the stairs.
"I prayed to the Mother for you every day for centuries", Cassian confessed, tears filling his eyes. Yours mirrored, as you reached up a hand to hold his cheek.
"I prayed for you too, Cassian".
68 notes · View notes
vyutg · 20 hours
Text
content ⊂⊃ loser!hanbin x female reader, 18+
️️ ️️️️️️️️️ ️️—
hanbin had always felt self-conscious about his lack of experience, hence his reluctance to physical intimacy. he was always shy and reserved, a true nerd at heart. you assumed he must have had at least some experience in doing sexual stuff. but he explained that he had always been focused in his studies.
he wasn’t clueless about it at all, he was just inexperienced. how many times has he touched himself to the thought of you?
hanbin started fidgeting with his glasses, an indication that he was nervous and that he had something on his mind. after a few moments of silence, you rolled your eyes and said, “we don’t have to do it if you’re not comfortable, hanbin.” because as much as you wanted to seem unfazed by his behavior, you were still concerned about him.
he took a deep breath and looked into your eyes. “i’ve never done this before and i don’t want to disappoint you.” you could tell he was tense about the whole thing, too shy to make a move, afraid that you would judge or reject him.
you decided to be the one to initiate things and gently kissed his neck, causing him to let out a soft moan, his heart racing as you shifted forward and finally kissed his lips. it was like a switch had been flipped and his shyness disappeared in that moment. he slowly moved his lips along with yours, carefully, as if he was afraid of doing something wrong and make you stop.
the kisses turned into a heated make out session, with you seated on hanbin’s lap. you could feel his cock pressing against your cunt. you broke the kiss and looked at him, his face red as he seemed to be thinking carefully of what to do next. hanbin wanted you so bad. he wanted to touch you, to feel you. he wanted you to be his first so badly, but he was too shy that he didn’t know how to express it.
“do you trust me?”
he looked at you with complete honesty as anticipation built within him. “i trust you. i want nothing more than to please you. so please do whatever you need in the moment, if you have to push me closer.. or push me away—“
“you talk a lot, loser.”
“sorry, i got carried—“ hanbin let out a soft gasp as your fingers glide over the buttons of his uniform, revealing more skin with each click. he once again bit his lip nervously, a silent encouragement for you to continue. he watched you take off his uniform and proceed to take off his pants as well.
by the time the last piece of his clothing hit the floor, he gulped nervously and mumbled, “should i undress you too?”
“you’re so polite, it turns me on.” you scoffed. “but yeah sure, if you’d like.”
he nodded. hanbin gently slid his fingers underneath the hem of your shirt and started pulling it up slowly. he audibly gulped at the sight of your breasts peeking out from the lace of your bra. he swallowed hard to keep his composure as he pulled your bra down, revealing more of your breasts with each passing second.
“you wanna feel them?” you asked.
he looked at you, fighting the urge to touch you and explore further.
“what? i need to know what you want, hanbin.”
he nodded eagerly, unable to resist you any longer. “i wanna touch you.”
that made you giggle. “see? it wasn’t that hard.”
he spent a few moments exploring your body; letting you feel the warmth of his palms on your breasts, trailing kisses down your neck, and tracing the curves of your body with his fingertips and lips. you both allowed yourselves to get lost in the sensation.
“i’ve been dying for this,” hanbin whispered into your ear as he positioned himself between your legs. he held onto your hips, steadying himself, eyes filled with desire. “tell me if it hurts.” he let out a shaky breath, fighting the urge to thrust into you right away.
“shut up, you’re the virgin one here— oh god!” you couldn’t help but moan when he entered you as he shuddered at the feeling of finally being inside you.
he groaned in relief and started moving slowly, every inch of him in you driving him wild. both of your bodies were shaking with each thrust.
“hngggh.. fuck— feels good.” he grew bolder in his movements, gradually picking up the pace, matching it with your breaths. your grip on his arms became tighter as he thrusted even faster, your breasts jiggling with every thrust.
hanbin thrusted harder, losing himself completely to his passion. you couldn’t do anything but moan under him as he moved in and out of you. “bin… please don’t stop… haaah…”
“fuck baby, fuck fuck fuck fuck— so close… so close baby..” he felt the intensity reaching its peak and thrusted harder and faster. he was panting heavily, eyes locked on yours.
you could see the sheer of satisfaction and happiness on hanbin’s face as he came on your stomach. he held you close as you both came down from your climax.
“how was it?” you asked, voice surprisingly soft and gentle.
he swallowed hard, feeling a wave of emotions. “it felt… great,” he said softly. “i never thought my first time would be with someone as amazing as you.” he continued, still panting.
hanbin had offered to clean you up before you could even scold him for cumming on you. but you were honestly thankful that he had pulled out even if you were on the pill. it just showed that he knew what to do during that moment, considering that you didn’t talk about contraceptives before doing the deed.
“thank you,” he said while you were laying together, voice thick with emotion.
you just smiled at him, finding the moment endearing that you didn’t want to ruin it by saying something mean. your loser deserves to be treated nicely and sweetly sometimes.
© vyutg, 2024.
66 notes · View notes
ironvy · 3 days
Text
Vestiges Of You.
Aventurine x fem! reader; not proofread, this was supposed to be a 300 words drabble lmao?? wordcount; 804.
Tumblr media
everything i feel returns to you somehow, consuming me to the core, i'll be gone by midnight; goodbye.
There is a bit of you at the beach.
Aventurine gazes whilst the sun gradually inches down, orange in hue, it mildly kisses the horizon; two souls intertwined. Standing on top of a building in the city, a March spring breeze wafts past him, and the smell of oleanders trails it.
The scene is familiar, to a distant one on the beach. The solitude, the oleanders you used to grow, the sun cozily inching down your wall, the ripples of the waves against the shore, the medley accompanying it, as you pluck the strings with a plectrum, pressing strings against frets with your opposite hand simultaneously.
Your black cat leaps on his lap, it purrs against his stomach, and he strokes it.
‘remember when we first met?’ you pause. ‘we had plenty to discuss. Now, only silence remains…’
‘you know,’ you continue. ‘I guess, the moral of time, is that… you never became jaded by my presence; our meaningless conversations, or this comfortable silence.’
Aventurine does not reply. He merely grabs your hand, and squeezes it reassuringly, pulls it towards his lips as he plants a kiss.
There is a bit of you in April.
Your window flung open, the breeze emerging in carries a scent of peach, a warm sun beams at your back, at your oil paint-stained white shirt. The neighbourhood is extremely quiet, everyone’s inside their home, with fans nudging the cool air at their faces.
‘don’t you feel like going back inside yet? It’s hot,’ Aventurine starts. He anticipates a response from an instance, but you appeared rather too resolute on your painting—it was of an orchard of apricot trees, the leaves and branches shimmering with heat-haze.
‘I don’t think so, I’ll finish this one first,’ you mutter, cautiously painting a cloud. ‘I love April. In it, my ideas are always inventive, sharp, and tender. Do you get it?’
Aventurine hums as he nods. His gaze wanders off toward the market nearby—a mother with brown sunglasses on exits with her young child, who’s wailing. ‘Icecream?’
‘Yeah, vanilla flavour please.’
There is a bit of you in black polished heels.
‘I’ve always loved the sound of heels against the flooring,’ you mutter, bending over as you tie the ankle straps of the heels—black, polished leather; a gift from Aventurine. When you’re done, you tap continually on the floor, and it sounds akin to an exaggerated film soundtrack. ‘it sounds like learning to walk away, from what was never mine to ever have…’
Aventurine raises a brow, ‘did you have a tough past?’
‘Partially, though what am I if not a little hardship? Which reminds me, you never told me much about your past…?’
He offers a half-hearted smile, as he averts his gaze. ‘…The heels suit you, are you sure they are your size?’ ( I apologize; I don’t want to bring it up, I don’t want you to pity me. )
‘Yeah…’ you half-heartedly mutter, removing the heels. ( do you not trust me? )
There is a bit of you in his muddy teacup.
‘Regrets,’ you mumble over the counter. Aventurine stares as you fiddle with your teaspoon—like lifting the world’s edge, like unravelling its threads, apathetically, perfunctorily. His teacup simply lies before him, long cold, and muddy-looking. ‘I have many… so do you.’
A train passes over the railings nearby, quick against the steel, unlike your stagnant manoeuvres, followed by a mysterious silence of what hangs in the atmosphere, and remains unspoken. ‘are you not exhausted of lying?’
‘I never lied to you about a single thing,’ he replies.
‘But you don’t trust me, with anything, at all— regardless of who is in your life, you still seem to have the same disgusting thoughts about yourself; it never stops, it never goes away. I wish I could…’ You place the teaspoon down, the tone of your voice gradually creaking. ‘Take away your blues. I have.. many selfless wishes for you. I wish you would take care of yourself, I wish you would cherish every instant of this ephemeral lifetime, I wish you would relinquish the past; that was then, this is now. Yet you’ve always been a bitter man, and it makes me bitter, too. I hope you will understand, that is all I have to say…’
Reality begins to melt away, in the darkness, akin to a candle’s wax, in the heat of a flame. Everything feels as if it occurred a long time ago, in a far-off world, out of reach. Or, is it occurring in the future, in an alternative far-off world?
( have you seen my lover? The one that owned the beach, April’s beauty, the black leather heels I purchased, my muddy teacup, my dreams, my heart? )
There is a bit of you in all he is.
Tumblr media
ironvy, 2024. do not copy, share, repost, or re-upload my work on any website without prior consent.
60 notes · View notes
loomiseater · 2 days
Text
Rambles
Tumblr media
Warnings: smut ofc!, unprotected sex, oral male receiving, and  p in v. 
Spencer Reid x fem reader
Criticism is appreciated! I would love to know how I can improve on my writing.
Masterlist 
Request page
Written: April 28th, 2024
Published: April 28th 2024
Wc: 1452
A/N: I'm on the same episode as the gif lmao
Summary: You find Spencer’s ramblings really cute 
“You got him started” Morgan said as he shook his head at you. He was referring to Spencer going on a ramble about some chemical reactions. “Reid! Enough” Morgan said with some seriousness in his voice. Spencer frowned a little at his words. “Don’t be mean!” You say as you slap Morgan’s arm. “His little rambles are cute!” You finish saying as Spencer’s face started turning red.
Morgan raised his eyebrow at me as Emily started smirking while sipping her drink. “Cute, huh?” Morgan teased. “Anyone else thirsty right now? Y/n?” Spencer questioned as he hurriedly went to the kitchen. He looked nervous..and on top of that his cheeks had hints of red on them. You hope he’s not too embarrassed. 
“You’re not gonna follow your man?” Emily questioned with a smirk as you rolled your eyes, soon following Spencer. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much, Spence” You say, voice hinted with a bit of sadness. “Uh-What? You didn’t embarrass me, I have no idea what you’re talking about” he replied but his voice was pitched just a little bit. 
You simply nodded your head not wanting to push him; a thought soon popped into your head. “I know a way I can apologize” you say innocently as he looked down at you. He let out a little laugh before saying “yeah?”. You drag him to an empty office that nobody has filled yet. After locking the door you push Spencer to sit down in the chair. “Why’d you lock the door, Y/n?” He questioned. Wow, he really is that innocent. 
Without answering his question, you climb onto his lap brining him into a kiss. At first he didn’t know what to do, leaving his hands awkwardly positioned until he squeezed your ass a little. You both break away from the kiss that had left you both breathless. “You’re so handsome” You complimented while looking into his eyes. “Thank you” he replied sweetly. 
His eyes soon fell back down to your lips before he brought you into another kiss which honestly was surprising. You begin to pull off his vest then moving on to unbutton his button down. You pull away from him which left him confused before you fell to your knees and started unbuckle his belt. 
“I’ve never done this before” he said hesitantly as you gave him a warm smile. “Then I’ll make it extra special for you.” 
After you unbuckled his belt, you unzipped his pants as he pulled them down along with his boxers. You pulled his cock out of his boxers and he was already hard. He was bigger than you expected. Never in a million years would you have thought Spencer Reid was packing this much.
He looks nervous as you stare at it for bit before you place a kiss to his tip which made him let out a whimper. You kiss it one more time before taking him whole. It was his first time so you didn’t wanna tease him too much. As you took him whole, his head flew back immediately as he let out a loud moan. You didn’t care who heard, you wanted the whole office to know that you were the only one who could give Spencer Reid this amount of pleasure. 
You soon started slowly bobbing your head up and down on his dick as he let out choked sobs. “Fuck!” He moaned to himself. You grab his hand and place it to the back of your head wanting him to fuck your mouth. He grabbed your hair into a makeshift ponytail and started forcing you down harder. As much as you like pleasuring Spencer, you couldn’t help the tears that fell down your cheeks. His grunts and moans did nothing but make your panties soaked. 
“Your mouth feels so good” he whined as he closed his eyes. You knew he was close to finishing but you took your mouth off his dick anyway. “I was close” he complained. “Shut up” you replied as you started sucking on his balls which made him shut up immediately. He let out a moan he didn’t know he had. As you were doing that, you wrapped your fingers around his aching cock which made grip the chair tightly.
His face was filled with nothing but pleasure. You moaned on his balls which led him to whine your name. “Please, Y/n- I just need t-“ your words cut him off as you started jerking him off faster. “Come on baby, cum for me” you say seductively. 
That was the final straw for Spencer as he shot his warm liquid all on your hand. His moan was longer this time. You licked his mess up off his dick and your hand, afterwards you placed one last kiss on his tip.
“You liked that?” You ask innocently as he nodded his head with quickness. “Yes! Shit that was amazing!” He responded. “Good thing we’re not done yet” you say as you started stripping in front of him, slowly taking off your panties last. You lead him to the couch on the other side of the room. You lay down on your back first as Spencer got on top of you, grabbing his dick and teasing your folds with it. “Are you sure you wanna do this, Spence?” You asked sincerely. “I’m sure” he answered.
He pushed himself inside of you as you felt the stretch. This was the biggest you ever had inside of you, so this was definitely a new feeling. As he did his first thrust, he placed his face inside the crook of your neck before he let out a grunt. 
He pulled back out and thrusted back into you as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “Spencer!” You moaned as he sped up his pace. His thrusts were amazing considering he’s a virgin- well was a virgin. “You’re so tight” he whispered into your ear which made you whine a little. His husky voice just made you somehow wetter than before. 
The room was filled with nothing but the sounds of your wetness, skin slapping, and Spencer’s grunts. With the way he was thrusting, you would’ve thought he was on a mission. He started kissing you passionately before he placed your legs on his shoulders. His actions made you clench around him as he shut his eyes before saying “shit! Don’t do that.” You did it again on purpose this time to see what he would do.
He slowed down his thrusts and started thrusting powerfully which took the air out of your lungs. “I told you not to do that again” he said as he squeezed my throat. He then picked up his pace again which had me whining like a baby. “Your dick is so good!” You scream as your legs start to shake. He lets out a low chuckle at your words before he starts to rub your clit slowly.
You close your eyes tightly due to the pleasure. “Spencer- it’s too much!” You whine as he kisses you to get yo to shut up. “We don’t want everyone to hear us now do we?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. “I think were too late for that” you respond breathless. He started rubbing your clit faster than before which made you squirt on him as smiled at his achievement. 
“I think I can get one more out of you” he said cockily. He gave you one last powerful thrust which had you creaming on his dick. “YESSS!” You shouted as your nails dug deep into his back. He was still thrusting, trying to fuck you through your orgasm. You could tell he was close from his face expression. 
“Where do you want it?” He grunted due to your tightness. “Inside me” you reply while gripping his hair, still somewhat out of breath from your orgasm. With no warning you felt his warm liquid fill you up. “Ugh- Shit thats the best thing I’ve ever felt” he said in your ear. 
This was the first time I’ve ever fucked a man without protection and let him finish inside me. 
“You sure you weren’t a virgin Spence?” I asked as fell on top of me. He laughed at my question before responding “I was, I just watch a lot of porn” he said seriously as I giggled. He started blushing, feeling completely embarrassed that he said that out loud. 
“Was I good?” He asked sincerely. “You were perfect, Spencer” You reply while leaning in for a passionate kiss. “I forgot to ask..are you on birth control?” He questioned while looking down at me. 
My silence was an answer for him. 
52 notes · View notes
devilishmango · 3 days
Text
The Story of Sin [UPDATE 4/27/2024]
Find the demo here. Link to the main post here.
Hey guys! 
Welp, I finished the chapter just in time for this month’s update. 😅 I really liked this chapter, though… Things are starting to not be ok for Sin, mentally, and I always love writing things like that 
In this chapter, you…
Pick up that small creature! [And NOT hurt it!! Good job!! 👏]
Hang out with Murmur for a bit and learn a bit more about yourself
Hurt Murmur’s feelings :( [It’s ok, you can apologize!]
Have another strange dream
Upset Will. :( [It’s ok again! You can apologize… Eventually.]
Hang out with Murmur and Anya for a bit. 
Some things- I’m slowly changing the look of the whole game. Now that some ✨THEMES✨ are settling in, I’m able to actually make the IF look a little prettier. I have some other art I will be adding later, when something in particular happens in the story, so get ready for that as well! [Also, this is random, but I realize that I’ve never mentioned this… The beautiful hand/forehead model for the SoS banner is my lovely little sister. Just wanted to throw that out there! 😂] I am also introducing a secret stat 👀 I’m not entirely sure how I want it to look on the stat page, so right now it’s just a number that will either go up or down depending on some of your choices. So, until I figure out how I want it to look…… Enjoy just a random number on the stats page. 😂
Also! If you are interested in being a beta-tester/proofreader, please send me a message on tumblr. Or, if you don’t have a tumblr, just send me an email. [email protected] Please only message me if you are serious in beta-testing or being a proofreader. I’m not really picky about how much experience you have, but I do want people who would actively be helping me correct things like grammar, bugs, coding errors, etc. Oh! Also, you will need a discord account to be a beta-tester or proofreader. That’s the only requirement!! 
And, since it’s been a hot second and I have a lot more followers now… If you are able to, and like my art/works to the point that you would like extra content, please consider becoming a patron, or buying me a kofi! I know times are tough right now, so it’s totally fine if you can’t donate anything. But even just sharing/liking/commenting/etc. Are other ways you can help support me. But, if you do have a few dollars you can spare a month, I have tiers on patreon ranging from $1-$5- you get extra content that you can request, and early access to updates and whatnot! 
One more thing! I was just able to get this month’s update done, but I definitely think May’s update might not happen. 🥺 Midterms are next week, AND I’ll be going on a small vacation to Portland, OR. for about a week at the start of May… So I may not have enough time to put together the update for next month! I’ll let you guys for sure when the time comes, but I just wanted to let you know now in case it ends up happening! Thank you for being patient and understanding. ☺️
See you all next update! 
CURRENT WORD COUNT: 45,725 52,969 [+7,244]
35 notes · View notes
bb-olicity · 11 hours
Text
On An Island Alone
It’s been 3 weeks since Chenford’s breakup and I feel like I’m on an island… alone.  The day after 6x06 aired, I made the decision to walk away from The Rookie. Well, at least until after the finale. I’ll decide if I'm walking away permanently once I check online and see how the season ended.  And before I go any further, to anyone who wants to say I'm not a true Rookie and (most importantly) Chenford fan: I have just as much right to stop watching the show as you do to keep watching it.
So why am I choosing to no longer watch the show?
The main reason I started watching the show in the first place is/was Chenford and I can’t sit there and watch them redo Seasons 4 and 5A and I won’t. Especially considering the fact we already know from Eric’s comments to TVLine they’re not getting back together by the end of the season finale.  I do not see them getting back together until at least the midseason finale next season.  Actually, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure they will get back together or if they even should.  I know me saying that will make a lot of people mad, but after reading Melissa and Eric’s post-episode interviews, I got a sense of finality when they were talking about Tim and Lucy’s relationship as a couple and the breakup.  Plus, I honestly don’t see how they can come back from what they did, which leads into the other reason why I’m not watching anymore.
Tim’s whole storyline rubs me the wrong way in so many ways.  They could’ve brought in his military past in so many other ways and still had him struggle without destroying his character in the process.  As it is, the storyline feels extremely forced just to cause drama for the sake of drama and, for me, irredeemably destroyed Tim’s character.  They completely erased 5 ½ seasons of character growth in the matter of only 1 ½ episodes.  And I'll never be able to see Tim the same way again, even if he goes to therapy.  I personally would never be able to trust him again and I honestly don’t see how Lucy could either.  That’s also why part of me feels like they should not get back together. Yes, I know it’s a short season and everything is condensed, but Alexi and the writers should not have done the storyline this late in the season, knowing they would not be able to do it justice with only 4 episodes left and not knowing the show’s fate by the time they finished filming the finale.  Since they were planning to break them up, I feel like they should’ve done it at the end of the premiere or by 6x03. That way there would’ve been time for Tim and Lucy to work through their struggles individually then work them as a couple by the end of the season.
Why do I feel like I’m on an island alone?
After the episode aired, a lot of the fandom was angry and a good number said they were done to show.  However, over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that number dwindling and a lot fans are now justifying the breakup who weren’t before and they have absolutely every right to.  I can see where they’re coming from, to a certain extent.  Tim and Lucy both were hiding things from each other since they started dating and would just gloss over things that needed deep and meaningful conversations to work them out.  That said, I personally will never agree with the breakup or the whole (Tim’s) storyline and will always maintain the breakup was completely unnecessary and they could’ve (and should’ve) stayed together and worked through their struggles as a couple.  So yeah, I’m on an island alone… and that’s okay.
24 notes · View notes
ed-recoverry · 10 months
Text
To anyone who was suicidal at age 14 or younger, here’s your permission to grieve. Here’s your permission to not joke about it or just flat out ignore it. Here’s your permission to acknowledge that lost child who felt way more pain than any child should ever feel. You’re allowed to cry for that child, whether you healed or are still suffering the same thoughts. Finally allow yourself to grieve for that child filled with undeserved hurt.
10K notes · View notes
perplexingly · 2 months
Text
I’m so damn tired
71 notes · View notes
rapidhighway · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I didn’t go to sculpture again……
#please please please I have anxiety I have a mental illness#I can’t make myself go there it’s hell idk why I’m just so nervous every time I make myself feel sick#and then I get another excuse not to go becuase I literally feel like I’m gonna throw up#I’m not going to pass if I don’t start going there…….#and I cannot handle repeating a semester#I live in fear#and it doesn’t help that I have intermedia class later today which is my second greatest enemy and just as dreadful#banging head on the table#I need to be wrapped in a blanket and go to sleep forever#god even if I go there I’m never going to be able to come up to my prof and talk to him about my project I get physically I’ll at the#slightest suggestion from my friends that I should finally do it#everyone’s done it already#I will literally cry if anyone talks to me#the profs just intimidate me so badly I feel like they hate me#and everyone says they’re super nice but I can’t make myself believe ittttt they will eat me alive#but if I never go I won’t pass the class and repeating the semester will cost money#pleas I have the stupid project idea ready but I just can’t do it I’ve thought about just emailing them and doing it all through email but#I couldn’t do that either I’m just in panic mode instantly#so yeah I’m just venting not asking ppl for solutions 😶✌️ I just don’t want to text my friend again bc I’ve been putting way too much on#them#they do practically everything for me anyway bc I can’t do shit by myself#uh ok I just need to put this SOMEWHERE#I’m gonna curl up and draw metal or whatever#ugh I know I’m making things worse by not coming#but I can’t make myself I just cant I’m gonna have an anxiety attack ✌️#no one look at me#I being sensitive and vulnerable here
59 notes · View notes
sexynetra · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
I’m so close to being done with chapter 7 of rawnsyf I can TASTE it 😭
16 notes · View notes
rosicheeks · 21 days
Text
😓🤬
#I fucking hate doctors and the medical field so much#I was FINALLY starting to get on the right path#called a php place and think I know where I’m going#have a therapist I’ve been talking to here and there#I’ve been trying to get into a psych evaluation right?#called 5+ places the other day and they all had 5-8 month long waitlists#I need to get most of this shit done before June#so that ain’t gonna work#called the psych place my doctor referred me to#(would like to add that I did call this same place right after my doctor visit a few months ago and they never called me back)#so I had no hope they were even going to pick up#I was shocked when I heard someone picked up and even more shocked when they said they had an opening for fucking Wednesday#literally I felt like everything was finally aligning#I scheduled the appt for a zoom meeting at 10am#then I get a bunch of random emails saying my appointment was changed#now I have two different appointments- Wednesday and Thursday both at 9am and with a totally different doctor#so I was like???? ok guessing something happened but I didn’t think much of it - called to figure out what day it actually is#when I called to confirm they told me that I can’t be tested until I get an internal referral#I told them I did get a referral???#they looked at it and it was just a referral for depression not adhd or anything else#but then when they looked more into it they found in the notes she wanted me to get adhd testing#SO she just forgot to add it to my referral#I get people make mistakes#but this is like the 4th time something like this has happened lately#I’m just trying to be healthy#and it is fucking RIDICULOUS how incredibly hard it is to find the proper help#also the girl yesterday when I made the appointment said yes to all my questions but sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about#was like ‘does this test for adhd and autism?’ ‘yeah for sure’ and then I find out they don’t even test for autism#so now I have to find a totally different person to either do both or just test for autism#either way I feel incredibly disheartened and overwhelmed and sad
4 notes · View notes