#I feel ashamed to tag this as art but it's true

[glistening-gay]

I was just trying to draw a picture of peeps working out and hater realizing he was fruity but now I feel like I've made the black hot of the wander over yonder fandom

#art #digital art #drawing #artists on tumblr #my drawings #fanart #spaget's art tag #commander peepers #wander over yonder #I feel ashamed to tag this as art but it's true #peepers woy #woy #commander peepers x hater #commander peepers is gay #commander peepers woy #lord hater #lord hater woy #woy hater #hater woy

[varietyshiw]

a silly little comic i made about plurality & unmasking

#based on true events #if you recognize my art style no you don’t #anyway #ive recently been talking abt my plurality more #trying to be less ashamed of it #its been scary for all of us tbh #but worth it #especially with little moments like these #that make you feel validated and more recognized as your individual self #idk after all the shit i deal with being a system #i wanted to make something wholesome n happy yk? #anyway rant over! nonsense tags time :) #system #system things #system stuff #system pride #did #osdd #osddid #plural #plurality #plural pride #did comic #osdd comic #system comic #plural comic

[ofduskanddreams]

Reputation to Damage

For @itsthedoodle and @cassianappreciationweek day 4. The prompt: Nesta & Cassian know that there is a rumor among students about a relationship between a professor and a TA – what they don’t know, is that the rumor is about them.

Nessian ✦ Rated M ✦ 591 words ✦ on AO3

The locker room air is soupy with steam, smelling of mildew and a head-aching range of freshly applied deodorants. The combination always fills him with a familiar nostalgia. Truthfully, he doesn’t miss the non-stop life of juggling classes and a spot on Prythian University’s D1 hockey team. These weekly recreational games with his fellow grad students and a few members of the faculty are more than enough to scratch his itch to be out on the ice.

Cassian’s in the middle of tying his shoelaces when Rhys slumps down on the bench beside him.

“Have you heard the rumor going around about the liberal arts college?”

He has to resist rolling his eyes. Despite Rhys’s frequent protests to the contrary, he loves gossip.

“Rhys, as a member of the college I hear many rumors—you’ll have to be more specific.”

Though he’d initially planned on getting his undergrad degree in business, a required liberal arts credit and a class on the prehistoric evolution of weaponry had changed the course of his future. Now he is on track to do his dissertation as an interdisciplinary historic-anthropological exploration of East Asian weaponry in the middle ages.

“Apparently,” Rhys lowers his voice and leans in, “One of the professors is in a relationship with their TA.”

Cassian shrugs, a little disappointed in his best friend. “Every single semester there’s a rumor about a professor and a TA, man. That’s not exactly news.”

“The way I see it,” Rhys drawls. “With how frequently this rumor goes around, one of these times it must actually be true.”

“Sure,” Cassian indulges, zipping up his bag and standing.

Rhys follows him. “Why do I get the feeling you don’t believe me?”

Cassian leaves the locker room laughing.

✦ ✦ ✦

“Do you think anyone knows about us?” Cassian murmurs, lazily carding his fingers through Nesta’s hair.

He’s spent the whole day replaying Rhys’s words.

“I haven’t told anyone. Have you?” He feels Nesta stiffen slightly as she speaks, half-draped across him.

“Of course not,” he answers. 

Nothing that they’re doing is technically against any rules, it’s just rather frowned upon. Cassian doesn’t care about that—what other people think of them if it were to get out. Nothing that feels this right could ever be wrong.

When Nesta doesn’t relax at the assurance, he goes on. “It’s just that silly rumor going around again. Rhys mentioned it earlier.”

Her responding hum vibrates up his sternum, then the silence stretches between them like a rubber band but Cassian doesn’t know what to say to cease the building tension.

After a long minute, Nesta sighs and pushes herself up on an elbow to look at him. “I’m not ashamed of us, you know. I care about you. If people found out, you would come under scrutiny. Academia is too small of a world and you’re just starting out. I don’t want to damage your reputation.”

“That’s kind of hard to do when I don’t have a reputation to damage,” Cassian huffs, but Nesta’s steely eyes narrow.

“But you will. Believe me. You need to give yourself more credit, Cass.”

And the way she’s looking at him like he’s worth something—worth believing in—like she feels the same things for him that he does for her, it’s enough to steal the breath from his lungs. But oxygen is mere frivolity compared to the feeling of Nesta’s lips parting in pleased surprise against his own, to the feeling of her palm over his too-rapid heart as she pushes him down into the mattress.

✦ ✦ ✦

tagging: @c-e-d-dreamer @moodymelanist @damedechance @iftheshoef1tz @areyoudreaminof @thelovelymadone @ablogofsapphicpanic @moonpatroclus @panicatthenightcourt @octobers-veryown @krem-does-stuff @talons-and-teeth

I had to guess when making this tag list because I've never actually posted a Nessian fic before lol. Please let me know if you wish to be added or removed from the tags :) I have another Nessian drabble coming later today.

#cassianappreciationweek2023 #nessian #nessian fanfiction #nessian fic #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #nesta archeron #cassian acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #acotar drabble #kate's celebratory drabbles series

[jojo-schmo]

Jojo nooo your metadede is not cringe whatsoever!! It's the evil Jojo just getting to you, it happens sometimes smh One thing I will admit is that I go to your blog every day for your art, whether it be metadede or anything else <33

Keep doing what you do and don't let anyone stop you >:)

That's very kind of you to say!! Gosh, I really appreciate that you like my work enough to visit so often! I needed to hear something like this, so thank you <3

I don't know.... I'm feeling a lot better now, but I definitely made up this insecurity about drawing certain things like metadede in my head. There were posts circulating a while back (and I don't remember the exact ones so this isn't directed at anyone) about how tiring it is to see mischaracterized characters or too much art of popular ships with metadede as one of the examples.

A valid opinion! It can be frustrating to curate one's own feed to a particular interest/opinion/headcanon and not see anything new for a long time. Or hold an opinion that's different than what appears to be the majority of the fanbase, and not get any interaction with it- or worse, have people telling them that their opinion is just straight up wrong (which isn't true! Kirby is special because it's so up to interpretation that I think it's really wonderful to see everyone's different worlds filled with different character stories and creative ideas!!)

So reading some of those discussions on different social media, I made myself self-conscious by thinking I was contributing to some kind of problem by sharing my art. For the first time in years, I thought I was creating and sharing "cringe" content and I should be ashamed for some reason.

After some time to process it, I realized that as long as I tag my work and don't try to shove it into circles that don't want to see it, it's not hurting anyone!

All I'm trying to do on here is the best I can. I want to come home from my 8-5 office job and spend the little free time I have making something that brings me joy and fulfillment to make. I love exploring character interactions and "what if" scenarios and sometimes just plain old sugary sweet fluff. And it won't be everyone's cup of tea so I'll keep doing my best to tag accordingly and if I ever miss a tag, lemme know so I can fix it. :)

So yes. I'm feeling much better and will continue to gently offer my work in my little corner of the internet here- and whoever wants to see can come and go as they please. I'm just glad to keep the lovely company I have now. <3

#onward! I shall continue drawing what I can!! #ask #jojo rambles #metadede related content

[mbavholidayexchange]

to: @doublemyheight from: @bloodykora

Title: Art Therapy | Rating: Teen | Word Count: 2.3k | Summary: Erica's been given gentle detention with Mr. G, in a hope of letting her release her inner emotions he persuades her to paint. Rory tags along too because the more the merrier.

They had sat in that classroom for what felt like hours, in reality it had been about 40 minutes. It was a practice her guidance counselor had recommended after she may have gotten in trouble for "bullying" one of the fresh men. She wasn't necessarily a troublemaker but Erica's attitude was beginning to be known by the teachers and principal.

Mr. G volunteered to supervise Erica while she painted out some of her aggression. Which she had already been highly embarrassed before Rory practically signed himself up for it too. Wanting any excuse to be near her, to be with her. In turn ruining any escape plans Erica may have had. She would've been dreading it if it weren't for the small little flutter in her heart considering she wouldn't be as alone in the classroom.

"Now Erica, this is not a punishment or something to be ashamed of. Everybody has feelings that are sometimes too big for their body, all I want is for you to paint something. Anything. As long as it's finished, you will be free to go." Mr. G presents his words with a smile in front of the canvas and easel before walking back to the desk. Taking a seat and beginning paperwork.

She had sat there since, a few lines drawn on with a pencil but her mind drawing a blank. And everytime Rory would try to initiate conversation, Mr. G would stop and remind him that it was Erica's time to reflect and that talking could be done later. And that he had his own thing to pay attention to, gesturing to the canvas in front of him as well. She had memorized the cracks in the wooden easel, how the grooves wove through the material. Listening to the ticking of the clock, the repetitive clicks of Mr. G's keyboard as he emailed other teachers, the taps of Rory's vans hitting the tile floor. She would sneak peeks at him, hoping his insistent fidgeting would ignite something in her brain to snap and start something on the white in front of her.

'What would mom do? She wouldn't even be here, she isn't here.' Her thoughts ramble on as any teenage with parental issues would. 

She leans to the side, sneaking a glance at Mr. G before picking up her pencil. Her fingers roll it a bit before gently writing a delicate fuck you onto the canvas. She grins, taking a small amount of pride in her victory. A true rebellion to the institution.

Rory’s eyes flutter to the blonde next to him, he always felt like she casted this glow onto him. And it wasn’t just because of her beauty. He had always looked up to her independence and strong will, even before when they were both humans. Behind her shy and polite exterior hid the fire that vampirism had so welcomingly brought out. His lips crack into a smile, reading over the words lightly scrawled onto her art project. He sits, watching as she puts her hand near her mouth, slightly picking at her bottom lip. 

The sound of a chair scraping draws both their attentions, Mr. G having now stood up.

“I hope you both are ready to show me at least something over there!” He says with an excitement only an art/history/whatever he taught teacher could have. Erica’s small smirk had dropped, the whole fuck the system was going to now bite her in the ass. Her hands drop, mouth agape as her mind races for some excuse to stop him.

Next to her Rory automatically dips his hand into his cup of maroon, previously using it for spot marks on the yellow that had been thickly added to his masterpiece. Having gotten it from the crate in between them on the ground holding all different colours, brushes and red solo cups. Before even having a second thought he gently smacks onto hers, paint splattering with a slap sound. Erica’s face flinches, turning to the side to avoid the spray getting onto her. Her eyebrows furrow as her eyes re-open, turning to look at him in shock and a smidge of anger. His eyes meet her furious ones, shrugging his shoulders in defense.

“Rory! Now that is not how we encourage Erica, you need to apologize to her.” Mr. G says, coming around and behind them. Staring at the two portraits, shaking his head to himself. Rory is quick to fess up.

“I apologize Erica, I am not sure why I did it. Just popped into my brain and I did it, I can clean up what I did.” His words are half sincere, knowing it did just pop into his head but not feeling remorse considering the words that had been there before were now covered.

“Well, I am off to get paper towels. Now you two don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.” He waits for the confirmation, finally turning to leave when they both nod in agreement. They watch as he opens the classroom door and leaves. 

“What did you do that for? I would have figured something out, now mine is all dirty you genius!” Her voice lets out in a hushed whisper, hands gesturing with her words.

“You had eff you on there, and there was no time.” He half explains, she knew and understood why he did it. A part of her felt relieved too yet she still had the difficulty of receiving the help her friends, and more, had to offer.

They both sit quietly, fidgeting with hands and hair. Erica takes a breath, finally pushing away the mental wall.

“I like your giraffe.” Her words barely take a second to register in Rory’s ears before he perks up, turning to face her fully in excitement.

“Did you know wild giraffes fight with their necks? They whip each other with them, it’s very strange and a tad silly. They also have very long tongues that’s black and then purple slash pinkish!” He rambles a bit as she listens, staring blankly.

“I didn’t know you liked them that much.” She sighs out, finally taking a brush in her hand. She begins to spread the colour sporadically over the white. Breaking the tension that now seemed so non serious between her and the assignment.

“They’re so cool! Well, cool in the chill way. They don’t compare to crocodiles cause they are more of a dangerous cool.” Erica ponders for a moment before glancing at Rory beside her.

“Do they have any natural predators?”

“No, only humans! Adult crocodiles are so strong they’re top of the food chain, except the babies. They are sometimes hunted by raccoons or bir-” His rambling gets cut off by Erica who although was curious, she did not care about wetland ecosystems that much.

“I meant giraffes dude.”

“Oh.” He pauses nodding before continuing again. “They do have some like lions or hyenas, even leopards! But to be fair, they are herbivores. Not hunters like the other animals I mentioned. Actually, scientists report that only a quarter of baby giraffes make it to adulthood because of their natural predators.”

She nods and listens, looking back to the canvas. Her thoughts rush through her subconscious as Rory continues to talk, he keeps his gaze on her as he mumbles on though. Her canvas has become dark, black residing on the outer edges before fading into a maroon and then into a crimson red in the middle. He readjusts on his stool before realizing the red had taken the shape of a heart.

“What are you painting?”

“Not sure, something vampiric though. Dark and gloomy like our eternal souls.” She lets her more whimsical side shine in her words.

“Woah, that sounded like it would be out of your Dusk books.” She smirks, nodding in what Rory could only assume was pride.

She continues on, reaching down to grab a new cup and colour. Taking a smaller brush to add a tan kinda tone in the middle of the red in a smallish line. She pauses, waiting for the layer to dry before going back in.

“You know, Mr. G is taking his sweet time.” Erica remarks, checking the clock on the wall in front of them.

“I wonder if he or us slipped into an alternate dimension, like when we pulled Benny and Ethan and Sarah out of that weird ghost-like state.” Her hand shoots up as if to block what he said, like she was keeping his aura at bay.

“Do not start manifesting that, it’s the last thing I need right now.” He snickers at her comment.

“You’re starting to sound like Benny.” Her mouth falls open into shock, looking insulted.

“How could you ever say that to me? I’m way more sophisticated and hotter than him.” Her hand goes back down to her thigh, still in shock at Rory’s comparison.

She presses a finger onto the canvas, testing the wetness of the paint. She looks onto her finger tips, noticing no stain left. She picks the black paint back up, stealing Rory’s black paint brush. Dipping it into the cup before moving close to the canvas, steadying her arm on the easel. Her purple painted nailed hand gently begins to make the shape of an eye, the outer rim and the circle of the pupil. She takes her hand back, looking at her artwork. The lighter colour she put down earlier was to resemble the skin of the eyelid fold above the eye. She goes back in, finishing some of the details such as eyelashes and lines, not disturbing the other parts she had just painted.

“Wow, that looks great Erica!” A voice booms over the pair of them as Erica pulls back from her creation. She jumps a bit due to her being fully concentrated in the work.

“Maybe you just needed the authoritarian figure out of the way to break out of your shell a bit, this makes a lot of sense.” He begins to tap his finger on his chin before walking to his desk, scooping the pile of pages up before returning back near the exit.

“Now, I am going to trust you both. I am heading just next door to finish up my paperwork, I’ll come check on yous in every so often. I want you to keep the creative energy flowing!” Rory nods excitedly and Mr. G exits the room. Leaving the vampires again.

“Well, maybe now we can sneak out. I don’t think there’s anything else to add to mine.” Erica mumbles, turning back to her station.

“Nuh uh! You are missing the best part.” She looks to him with her eyebrows furrow, insinuating she had no clue what he was referring to. 

“You have to sign it, every artist signs their painting.” He explains, turning back to his canvas. Picking up a brush, dipping it into a green he had for a leaf that the giraffe was chewing on and scribbled his name messily in the corner. 

“See, gotta leave the artist mark.” 

“I am not an artist, besides. I don't even know if I'll keep it.” She sighs, finding the whole exercise Mr. G had insisted upon as stupid. However her actions go against her words as she lightly writes E.J in the corner of it. 

“Well, if you don't want it. Then I'll take it!” Rory insists, getting to his feet way faster then Erica had expected. She stutters over her words as he happily trots around her and lifts it off her work station. 

“I think it would go beautifully with the Star Wars poster and mathematics award on my wall.” He says, mostly to himself yet Erica feels a sense of pride in her chest. 

“If you want it that badly then sure, take whatever your heart desires.” The end of the sentenced is more muttered out as she brushes her hair behind her ear. 

“Yeah, you're right. I should give something back, make it a fair trade.” He scans around the room ad Erica questions how she had fallen for the blond with almost no social awareness. His eyes fall onto his giraffes, his beloved giraffes. She follows his gaze onto them, understanding how big of a present it would mean. 

“Rory I don't something in return, its fine. I was just whining.” She tries to convince him. But he insistently shakes his head. 

“You have to take good care of them, make sure they like the spot they will be in. You have to say hello to them as well and they like Elton John.” A small smile begins to appear on her face as he talks about them like they're alive. 

“Rory, I will take care of them like they are my children. Okay?” For a moment Rory could actually see her wall come down for a moment, her face softens as she speaks to him. He stops talking, smiling widely before nodding to her. 

“You wanna get outta here? I know a super place where we could catch some coyotes!” His eagerness bounces through him, grabbing his jacket and bag. Slinging it over his shoulder as his other hand holds the painting. 

“Ew coyotes! Why can't we just nibble on a college student and be done with it?” Erica states, getting up to grab her stuff along with Rory's painting. 

“I swore to Ethan I'd never drink from a person without their permission.” Rory looks at Erica, half disappointed. They had already had long talks about human vs animal consumption. 

“Ughh you're no fun.” She lets out before they hear a familiar voice through the echo of the hall. 

“How are we doing over here guys?” Footsteps being to approach, the blondes quickly look at each other. Erica breaks into a grin before running out the door, going in a spur. Rory follows her right after. 

The only thing Mr. G finds left behind are used solos cups, some paint splatter and two empty easels. 

#my babysitter's a vampire #mbav holiday exchange #mbav #mbavholidayexchange #erica jones #rory keaner

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Self-Promo Saturday

Thanks for the tag @lightningboltreader 💛💛 and thanks to @sugdenlovesdingle for starting it!!

The rules are simple: List 5 of your works that you're proud of. Tell us why you love them.

Any medium (fic/art), any fandom, old or recent - anything goes.

I am going to shake it up and use reader reviews.

All Your Colors Make Me Feel Alive “oh my I loved this so much!! I teared up while reading- especially the last 3 ones. TK sharing music with Carlos throughout their relationship is so sweet and the meaning that each song has for them is just so 🥰🥰🥰 loved this a lot, thank you for sharing!”

TK Strand’s Sweet 16 (times 2) (minus 2) “i love how you can practically feel the welcoming atmosphere of the party throughout the story, and the love everyone feels for each other. i also love how you’ve explored all the other dynamics and how you extrapolate on characters in such a lived-in, caring way that still feels true to the characters we see in the show. tk having a new family to celebrate with alongside his 126 family and dad is so good, and i loved those quiet moments with tk checking in on carlos… and tk feeling like he’s just starting a new good era by turning thirty after all he’s been through…:’)))) this is so fun, thanks for sharing!”

Call Me If You Get Lost “Omg this is so cute. My cheeks hurt from all the grinning. (And my stomach’s feeling pretty rumbly from all the talk of delicious food.) TK means so well, and he worried so much, and it all makes him spin out so hard… I loved that conversation with Paul and Marjan (and the lovely side story about her dad). I laughed so hard at the chaos of the cockblock scene, especially the mental picture of Mateo squirming around in the midst of it all, trying to get some clothes on. But mostly I loved how on board Carlos was, and how well he knows TK, and how willing he was to play along with this well-intentioned insanity. This was such a precious read.”

getting past the wounds of love “The trifecta of early Tarlos, music, and Paul had me smiling all throughout this sweet story! I can never get enough of Paul and he's practically jumping out of the page here. His characterization is that good, especially with all the small and careful details you included. And TK and Carlos in the car *swooning* -- there's a tentative energy about them that I absolutely adore! It's like TK keeps drawing these lines in the sand and then promptly forgetting about them because being with Carlos feels so natural and right. You captured it so sweetly and now I wanna rewatch all of their season one scenes soooo thank you for that <3”

I'm Not A Fortress, But I Will Try To Protect You “Wooooooooooow the way I loved this!!!!! Marjan's voice is PERFECTION, I could hear Natacha saying every line wow!!! Truly adore the way you're giving us so much more to this friendship, it's nice to see T.K. be close with someone other than Carlos and nice for Marj to have a friend in her corner. The way she helped T.K. see that Carlos isn't ashamed of T.K., but that maybe there's something more going on was so beautiful, such a wise way to look at things… Such a fabulous fic, so glad I read it tonight!!”

Tagging @chicgeekgirl89 @carlos-in-glasses @apothecarose @ambiguouspenny @bonheur-cafe @ladytessa74 @basilsunrise @louis-ii-reyes-strand @guardian-angle22 @herefortarlos @reasonandfaithinharmony @rosedavid @liminalmemories21 @your-catfish-friend @whatsintheboxmh @ithilien-writes @decafdino and OPEN TAG 🏷️

#tarlos fanfic #tarlos #tk strand x carlos reyes #self promo Saturday #self-promo Saturday

[kimageddon]

A Prince of Dathomir - Chapter 113

-|- Page header by space-b33 -|- Masterlist -|- Prince of Dathomir Masterlist -|- Sins of the Father Masterlist -|- Art Masterlist -|- Check out my : Ko-fi / AO3 -|- Commissions Open -|- My Linktree -|- Join my tag list -|-

Maul x Nightsister OC (Zaiya Valessa) - Slight Canon Divergence

Word count: Approx 2400 Contains/Warnings: Mentions of trauma, abuse, blood, toxic situations, physical and mental abuse. Panic attack. Chapter Summary: Zaiya finally tells the truth about Zygerria. Notes: This one is a little heavy, please be safe and look after yourself.

Shockwaves - Part 1

The group had amassed in the main living area of the ship. Maul was not pleased as he began to pace. Zaiya was silent. She could feel the tension in the room growing, and she would much rather tend to Savage, even though he’d already been bandaged and had both bacta and stims and insisted he was fine, just that his memories were hazy. 

“If I could--” she began.

“Zaiya.” Maul growled. “I have had enough of secrets.” 

“You always know everything there is to know about us, yet you keep everything so close to your chest,” Feral said with a droop in his shoulders. 

“I…” Zaiya grit her teeth. It was true. Of course it was. “I have my reasons,” she managed in a whisper. 

“Then what are they?” Maul demanded. Zaiya looked up to see him standing with his arms folded.

“What?” 

“You have your reasons. I would hear them.” 

Shame crawled up her back. She had to tell them… she had to say something.

“I… I am ashamed…” she admitted. “That is the truth of it. I am ashamed of what happened. Worse… I am afraid.”

“Of someone?” Feral supplied. 

“Of-- of the way you will see me once I tell you.” 

There was heavy silence in the room. 

“What could you have done that would cause such shame?” Maul hissed.

“I…”

“It’s alright, Zaiya,” Savage said finally and Zaiya turned to look at him. He looked like Hell but his expression showed a small smile. Slowly, and with what looked like great effort, he reached out and grasped her hand in a large one of his own. She pursed her lips and nodded. 

It was time. 

“When… when last we saw each other… on Coruscant…” she nodded to Maul and felt him tense up. “I was struck down by Sidious.” She gestured to her left eye. “I awoke to heat and noise and I-- I couldn’t see.” Her throat felt tight at the memory but she pushed forward. “Eventually, after passing out and waking again, I found myself in a bed. I was told I was in a hospital… but there was something around my neck…” her fingers brushed her throat instinctively, even through her gloves she felt the scar tissue. 

She had to take a breath, but continued. 

“Two Twi’Leks spoke to me… and I couldn’t tell why but something felt… off. I couldn’t see at all, and I was covered in bandages.” She heard Maul make a sound but she daren’t look at him. Not if she wanted to finish this. “Then there was-- he…” She grit her teeth and took a deep breath. “His name is Harasan D’Sarr.” 

Zaiya nearly gagged at the name and she could only stare at the floor, her words dripping like venom. 

“What… did this man do?” Maul asked and she heard the unsteadiness in his voice. 

“Initially he said he was helping me… I had no way to verify… I was at his mercy--” she cut off in a scoff and shook her head. “I should have known. No one helps each other in this Galaxy. It was only once my sight returned enough to my good eye did I realise who he was --or rather what he was.” Feral reached out to touch her hand gently. 

“What was he?” the youngest brother whispered. 

“A Zygerrian.” She heard Maul growl and Savage curse under his breath. 

“What is a Zygerrian?” Feral asked timidly. 

“A slaver,” Maul snarled. “They deem all other races as weak and therefore they ought to be in chains…” He paused. “Then the collar…”

“Was an obedience collar, yes,” Zaiya replied. “It is where these scars originate.” she gestured to the scarred burn marks on either side of her throat. 

“To leave marks… the amount of times he would have had to--” Savage began.

“I was��� uncooperative… at least at first,” she explained. “He moved me to a cell after my first escape attempt.”

“Could you not use the Force to--”

“No. I had no connection to the Force at all. It was as though I had lost a limb entirely,” Zaiya said bitterly. “The only connection I had at all was--” she cut off and finally looked at Maul, though she couldn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“The visions…” he replied in a whisper. “You witnessed my battles, and… you saw what happened on Naboo.” Anger rippled in his words and she could only nod. 

“It… I saw you… and I…” she looked away rapidly, her voice trembling, teeth grit as she fought off the wave of grief at the memory. “I broke…” she admitted. “Any semblance of the Force or my magick, even my voice left me in that moment.”

“Your voice?” Savage asked. “You didn’t speak?”

“Not a word. Not until I managed to make it back to Dathomir and Talzin restored it… and my eye.” She gestured limply to herself. 

“So your green eye was not of your doing?” Maul asked, “I had thought--”

“No… my eye is completely gone,” she shook her head, “I had a patch to cover it while I--” she cut off again. Frustrated at herself for how often she was unable to finish sentences. “Eventually I was his bodyguard, in a sense; but really I was his pet. I did as he said, I killed who he demanded I kill and when he wanted to play…” She let out a soft growl. “It was the only defiance I had in me. He had a fondness for having me wear all white.” She couldn’t look at anyone now, her chest was so tight she could barely breathe. 

“So… he was the one that called you Angel…” Savage said in realisation and Zaiya’s eyes squeezed shut. 

“They didn’t know my name. So he gave me a new one. He called me his Angel of Death, and the only time he would allow me to remove my gloves was to strangle the target of his choosing…” She felt the words bubbling in her now, the anger and pain beginning to rise in her chest. “He said I looked fetching in all white, but I know the real reason was that he liked to see how it would soak up the red when he wanted to play his games.” 

“He cut you?!” Feral gasped. “For fun?!” Zaiya just nodded and ran a hand over her forearm. 

“It was some game he took sick pleasure in. Sometimes he would offer false kindness and affection… all in an attempt to get me to react. He told me he wanted to--” She nearly gagged, remembering what he’d said. “It was perverse.” 

She heard Maul make a sound and begin pacing again. 

“How long…?” Feral asked. 

“Eight years,” she whispered. 

“Eight--?!” Maul spat, “you did not think to strike back? To attack him? To--”

“I wanted to!” she snapped back, suddenly on her feet. This was what she had feared. He gave voice to all of those thoughts. “I know! I did nothing! I let him do this to me! I let him control me! Kill my own allies! I was weak, alright?! Is that what you wanted to hear? I-I’m not like you! I’m not as strong…” The burst of emotion was too much and the dam broke. Tears flowing from her eyes and her body wracked with sobs. 

She could not see the way Maul looked at her through the tears. The way his face contorted in horror and his eyes wide. She sank to her knees and Feral was there at once to catch her. 

“That’s not true Zaiya…” Feral said, speaking softly to her. The pain was too much to bear and she shook, trembling in the Nightbrother’s arms… she screamed. The entire ship rattled but it was not quite to the level of the one she had unleashed when she was freed. 

She heard them talking but the words didn’t make sense to her at that moment. She tried to control her breathing, but she couldn’t… she couldn’t breathe!

A large hand pressed against her back and Savage’s deep rumbling voice spoke in her ear. He was telling her to breathe… that she was alright. 

Safe… 

Yes… she was safe… though she dare not look at Maul. She was right; he did think she was weak. Pathetic. That it was her own fault. 

“Zaiya…” She heard his strained whisper after her cries had muted to shaky gasps. She wiped her face with the damp cloth Feral offered her. She felt so disgusting. 

“What did you mean… kill your allies…?” Maul asked, and the closeness of his voice meant he was sitting on the floor with her. 

“I… there was a chance one day. He-- D’Sarr said he would lend me to one of his business partners for some pick up. It was during a party. I kept D’Sarr busy and a woman - she was a Togruta and they all called her Nannie.” Her breath hitched again as she remembered the woman’s face. “When I was taken, my amulet was hidden from me. She’d found it, and offered to steal it back. Nannie was the only one that had ever shown me any semblance of kindness.” 

Zaiya wiped her face, the cool cloth helping to calm her. The embarrassment of her emotions had already begun to set in. 

“She found it then?” Feral asked, pointing to Zaiya’s chest and Zaiya pulled the golden half-disk out of her shirt to hold. 

“She did. But… she was caught. And I… D’Sarr made me…” her teeth grit again as she tried to fight the grief back again. “She was so peaceful. Like she knew what was coming, she accepted death at my hands and she… smiled at me.” The look in Zaiya’s good eye was utterly haunted, she could almost see Nannie’s face before her as though she was still there. 

“It’s not your fault,” Feral insisted. 

“Isn’t it?” she replied dryly. 

“No! You did what you had to do to survive.” Zaiya pursed her lips. She didn’t know if she believed it. 

“It was when the associate took me off-planet to some pick up that I had my chance. The one he was sent to meet was… Hondo Ohnaka.” She let out a dry chuckle. 

“The Pirate?” Maul asked and she nodded. 

“He helped me, got me out of there and got the collar off.” Her fingers flexed as she looked at them. “The power came back to me then, and I felt free…” 

“And the Zygerrian?” Savage asked. 

“The one that took me away is dead.” She nodded, “I… screamed, this power ran through me and I screamed so loud that he fell and never got back up.” The three Zabraks exchanged looks. 

“You have that power?” Savage asked. 

“If what we saw a minute ago is any indication…” Feral muttered and gestured around the room. 

“I’ve not used it since then,” Zaiya explained, but she suspected she could do it again if she needed to. 

“So that was when we saw you again on Dathomir,” Savage added and Zaiya nodded. Feral looked to Maul. 

“When we saw her she was skin and bones, starved, sallow and I don't know how she was even standing,” he explained. “It… it was so painful to see her like that.” 

“I’m… I’m sorry--” she began.

“No!” The three of them almost shouted at her all at once, making her jump. 

“This was not your fault, he did this to you.” Feral squeezed her hand. 

“You are stronger for what they did,” Maul muttered, though the words seemed hollow. She lowered her head, she was suddenly so tired. He had to be disgusted with her weakness. Of course he was, he vauled strength and power and she had just admitted to giving up hers and letting this slaver scum break her down until she was his willing pet. 

“You don’t ever have to go back there,” Savage comforted, still slowly caressing her back. 

“He is still alive, is he not?” Maul asked in that same hollow tone. 

“He is.” 

“Then we must kill him.” His answer was immediate and harsh. “You must have your revenge.” 

Of course. Always revenge. Always payback. 

“I… I have other pursuits…” Zaiya closed her eyes and counted her breaths. She had to regain control. 

“Other…?” Maul scoffed, “what could be…?”

“Kenobi is a far more reachable target,” she said, and managed to push those feelings away. This feeling of weakness was utterly vile. Especially in the presence of those that valued strength. Finally she looked at him and his dark expression was one of contemplation. 

…His nose scrunches up when he’s angry. She thought to herself. Wait… where did that thought come from? And why was she so distracted? 

All that emotion… was she really so tired from something so simple?! Perhaps she ought to retire, if she was unable to focus. She blinked slowly and let out a slow breath. 

“You need sleep,” Feral said gently, caressing her arm. Being touched like this was so strange, usually she didn’t like to be touched at all… but Feral, Savage and Maul didn’t have the same effect on her. They seemed to be the exception. 

“I’m…” she began to protest, more out of habit than reality but Savage chuckled. 

“You’re practically falling asleep on my arm.” Zaiya jerked slightly as she realised she’d begun to lean on him. “I need to rest after everything that has happened today, I suggest we all do, the droid has the controls.” He gestured a large hand over his shoulder. 

Zaiya looked at him with a soft expression, unable to school herself as she looked at him sweetly. She cupped his chiselled cheek and rested her forehead on his. 

“I missed you, Savage. I’m so very glad you’re alright,” she confessed and Savage let out a little purr-like noise. 

“Thank you for coming for me,” he replied warmly. He reached out to help her rise and she made it to her feet. “Come on…” he insisted on escorting her, and they passed by Maul who appeared to be fuming, and the painful feeling in her gut just twisted further. He had to be disgusted by her, surely. 

Zaiya pointed the way to Savage who guided her along, much to her annoyance. She wasn’t invalid! Moreover Savage was the injured one! After a few sleepy steps she shook her head to clear it, walking forward normally and leading Savage to the sleeping quarters. 

In the background she could hear Feral talking with Maul, it almost sounded heated, but she wasn’t sure she could look at Maul at that moment. It just hurt too much. 

She said goodnight to Savage and he chose a room to sleep, while she too returned to her own bunk. She was very glad Sixy was there to pilot… she was out the moment her head hit the pillow.

Notes: I believe we have a few new readers and that is so very exciting. I love the influx of new people and the comments of "I wasn't sure if I'd like this, but I am really enjoying it!" It brings me a lot of joy. Recently I found you can buy Rancor plushes at build-a-bear and you guys just know… I wanna get one and put a yellow ribbon on it. T^T So that's my current obsession.

As for the next chapter, Maul finally breaks his silence and Zaiya has some wild visions. As always, comments really keep me motivated and excited to keep going. It's been pretty difficult lately and I hope that this week the looming dread I have will dissipate and I can get back to writing a bit more. Next week I will be posting more Sins, so if you enjoy my characters, I encourage you to check it out. Thank you!

----

The List of Tags: (If your name is crossed out then check your settings! Tumblr is not letting me tag you!) @two-black-leviathans @fallenrepublick @eyecandyeoz @ashotofspotchka @littlepossss @octupus-on-the-moon @justalittletomato @mach-opress @mustluvecho @nahoney22 @leotatombs @eloquentmoon @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @maulslittlemeowmeow @misogirl828 @alwayssnivellus @stardustbee @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @bacarasbabe @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @rain-on-kamino @roguethe0tter @lifeless-being @herbalina-of-yesteryear

Wanna be notified when I post my next work? Join my tag list

#a prince of dathomir #darth maul x oc #maul x nightsister #maul fic #zaiya valessa #star wars #star wars fanfiction #maul x oc #lord maul #maul #darth maul

[nimuetheseawitch]

rules: list eight shows for your followers to get to know you better

Tagged by @marley--manson

I'm pretty sure I did something like this recently where people were using the shows' posters. Since it says "get to know you better," I'm going to assume anyone reading this can read my little description and already know I'm into those shows. I'm also going to do that because it makes it harder/more interesting for me.

Doctor Who This was the show that got me onto Tumblr (that's not entirely true - my roommate dragged me on here, kicking and screaming, just like how I have joined every social media site ever), and it's one of the first shows I was weird about as a (kind of) adult. I'm an Eccleston fan through and through. This is another show that my partner and I stalled on because of a variety of life things, so we're years and years behind.

Veronica Mars I love this show. I didn't actually watch it until I was in grad school (and then I binged an entire season without sleeping one time during a PhD-induced anxiety spiral, so), but I adored it. I have always loved the girl detective, or even just boy detective, genre (looking at you, Harriet the Spy, Sammy Keyes, and Encyclopedia Brown), and this just did that dripping in early 2000's teen tv drama. And I adore Enrico Colantoni as her dad. I also always appreciate a detective show where the cops are the bad guys.

The O.C. I am often kind of ashamed of my deep love for The O.C., and I'm trying not to be. I got the DVDs out from the library and hid in my bedroom to watch it because my family would've made fun of it (probably - I was also a teenager and just afraid of people judging me). This marks the beginning of my massive crush on bisexual characters played by Olivia Wilde. I loved every moment of this show, sometimes especially when it was being awful.

The Avengers (1965-1967) British spy-fi starring Diana Rigg playing Emma Peel, an actively publishing theoretical physicist who knows martial arts and wears catsuits. What more could you want? If anything made me queer, it was Emma Peel. And although she's partnered with John Steed, supposedly a professional spy while she's an amateur, she regularly came in kicking to save his butt. I have only ever seen Series 4 & 5 with them as the main team, so I actually have zero opinions on the rest.

Killjoys I love this show so much. I wish it had been allowed to have more than 10 episodes a season because I would've loved to see more unabashedly queer sci-fi bounty hunter side plots. I love that the main characters are platonic life partners who did crime until they ran out of money and became bounty hunters. And that there are assassins and creepy conspiracies and cyberpunk awesomeness and the show is almost more bisexual than Lost Girl.

Anne With An E I loved Anne of Green Gables as a kid, and this show was beautiful and compelling and did a really good job with most things. This was one of the first shows I did a virtual watchalong with friends in 2020 at the beginning of COVID, and those watchalongs reminded me that I had internet friends and showed me how I could shift my social life, so this show is important to me.

Pose I don't even know where to start. I love this show, and Papi and Angel are perfect and deserve the world.

Buffy/Angel Buffy and Angel were incredibly important to my development as a queer feminine-presenting person. I actually didn't watch Buffy all the way through until after I'd become obsessed with Firefly. I have lots and lots of feelings about Buffy and Angel and I have so many of the comics that were a continuation of the show, and I got really into the lore, and I'm glad it existed. I'm glad I enjoyed it, and I'm glad I went back and saw how problematic a lot of it was. And whenever I think about it, I think wistfully of Monster of the Week style shows with a bajillion episodes per season.

I hope people feel like they know me better because I feel like I just went on an emotional journey, y'all. I'm not tagging anyone because I'm tired, but if anyone wants to do this, I would love to read what other people have to say.

#tag game #get to know me

[apocrypha73]

Masterpost of my Visupri fics

List of all the visupri fics (mostly sagamist, but there is some dimihyde too) I've written so far, in case someone is interested in checking them out.

(I'll try to update this post whenever I add a new one, but we shouldn't rule out the possibility that I might totally forget about it. I make no promises)

Edit: I've decided to lock all my fics for registered users only, because I'm concerned about them being scraped for AI training. I'm sorry for any inconveniences this may cause but I'd rather have less readers than contribute in any shape or form to this whole AI mess. Art should be made by humans, not soulless machines that can only regurgitate what they have previously stolen. If you don't have an AO3 account but you're interested in reading my fics, hmu and I'll send you an invite.

Main pairing: Saga Latour/Mist Flaive

Can't go back anymore (Rated E, 4.683 words). Post - Episode 7, Saga tries to reassure Mist that there's no reason to be ashamed of his very public love confession via song.

"Evil Vampire Daddy" series (2 fics):

As long as I have you (Rated M, 35.403 words. Warnings: discussions of psychological abuse and of suicide attempts). A sinister character from Saga's past shows up in Harajuku with the intention to destroy everything he has built for himself.

Home is where the heart is (Rated E, 3.640 words, basically a PWP). Bonus smut scene for As long as I have you.

Carry me through (Rated M, 3.611 words). Pre-relationship, blood drinking, hurt/comfort. Saga takes care of Mist during his transformation into a vampire.

Your Song (Rated T, 2.309 words). Episode related. At the recording studio from Episode 8, Lost Eden is working on their songs and now it's time for My Principal.

Take my hand, take my whole life too (Rated E, 53.265 words. Warnings: characters suffering from terminal/chronic illness). Human AU, single dad Saga / family lawyer Mist. Other background ships (please read the tags)

Bloodlust (Rated M, 4.954 words. Warnings: mind-altering substances, blood drinking). Saga gets dosed with something that makes him extremely hungry during a concert, and Mist takes it upon himself to make sure he doesn't bite any humans.

"Sagamist Birthday Fics" series (2 fics):

Make my wish come true (Rated T, 8.274 words). Carmilla shows up unexpectedly on the day of Saga's birthday, bringing chaos with her as usual.

The floor of Heaven's lain with stars of brightest gold (Rated E, 9.020 words). It's Mist's birthday, and Saga has prepared a very special celebration for him.

"Love means not a single braincell in sight" series (2 fics):

The bittersweet taste of victory (Rated M, 13.617 words). Jack challenges Robin to get to know Saga better, convinced that he will change his mind about him. It seems to work really well, but it also gives way to some misunderstandings.

The courtship of Mist Flaive (Rated M, 8.798 words). After the events of the first fic of the series, Saga is determined to make things right and show Mist that his feelings are real. The problem is he doesn't really know a lot about how to seduce someone.

Baby, it's cold outside (Rated E, 31.853 words). Human AU. Basically your typical Christmas romcom movie: young successful professional from the big city (Mist) gets stranded for the holidays in a small town where he will meet the love of his life (Saga).

Birds of a feather (Rated G, 4.973 words). Pre-relationship. Mist gets his wings and Saga helps him learn how to handle them.

And Together We'll Go On Through Time (Rated E, 13.762 words). Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Death of a Parent, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Getting Together, Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Blood Drinking. Saga gets some painful news and Mist is there to help him deal with it.

Creature of the night (Rated E, 10.408 words). Alternate Universe, Gothic, Strangers to Lovers, Blood Drinking, Mildly Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Top Saga/Bottom Mist

There's a scar right through my heart but I'll bare it again (Rated G, 4.059 words). Pre-Relationship, Late Night Conversations, Supernatural Bonds, Awkward Flirting. Mist and Saga discuss the nature of their bond.

Main pairing: Hyde Jayer/Dimitri Romanee

Don't Fear the Wolf (Rated E, 5.455 words. Warnings: graphic depictions of violence). Set during WWII. Hyde, Dimitri and Guil work for the French Resistance.

The Importance of Aerobics (Rated E, 4.410 words. PWP, Dom/Sub, Dom bottom Hyde and Sub top Dimitri. With some attempts at humor)

#visual prison #sagamist #dimihyde #saga latour #mist flaive #hyde jayer #dimitri romanee #my fanfic

[its-all-ineffable]

I posted 6,149 times in 2022

That's 3,109 more posts than 2021!

98 posts created (2%)

6,051 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dreamsequencer

@prouvaireafterdark

@sehkmetdestroyerofworlds

@thisbluewind

@werewolfpeterparker

I tagged 3,384 of my posts in 2022

Only 45% of my posts had no tags

#amc interview with the vampire - 723 posts

#amc iwtv - 722 posts

#amc iwtv spoilers - 586 posts

#amc interview with the vampire spoilers - 585 posts

#the batman 2022 - 484 posts

#loustat - 396 posts

#stranger things - 330 posts

#louis x lestat - 316 posts

#the sandman - 296 posts

#the sandman netflix - 274 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but if it was your daughter who'd been raped and was now dead daniel and couldn't consent to likely graphic sa being shared with the world

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So Interview With The Vampire is apparently airing? Or available on AMC+ now? A Twitter friend just tweeted about how good the 1st ep was. The time difference between America and the UK is crazy.

Here it's the 30th of September, 4am, and right now, the UK has no way of watching the show.😭😡

It is likely to be included with BT TV since their package includes AMC, but I don't have that, & it involves talking to them about wifi and getting a box etc. We don't get AMC+ here in the UK yet. And they've not said if they're giving it to Disney+ or Prime like they've done with other things.

So, I don't know when or where this show is coming out, and I honestly feel a little fucking cross. I'd just like to watch the gay vampire show without having to learn how to do piracy or do a million and one internet searches!

So I'm gonna block the tags for it, and also...TAG YOUR SPOILERS PLEASE! Thank you.

I really want this show NOW, you have no idea. Ffs AMC, you assholes. 😠😭😭😭

UPDATE: An AMAZING friend of mine has helped my learn piracy and I have now watched both available episodes!!!!!! I am obsessed, this is my newest thing, I am not sorry and my blog is about to be filled with gay vampire content.

22 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#4

This is now my header:

Yes it's Louis and Lestat snogging right before they have sex.

No I'm not ashamed.

Yes I'm very happy. Thank you.😊😎

27 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#3

So my BatCat fic that I wrote and posted last night (Call It What You Want To) did really well and I've had 3 lovely comments on it!

This has inspired me to write another BatCat fanfic, but I'm not sure what to do for it! So, I want to ask you awesome people on here, should I write:

a) a reunion fic that follows Call It What You Want To?

b) just a random reunion fic, possibly with an identity reveal?

c) missing/extended BatCat moments from the movie?

d) identity reveal fic with Bruce Wayne & Selina interactions beforehand?

Let me know which one sounds best, cause I wanna write some more BatCat asap!

UPDATE:

I have written the sequel, and these ideas will now be a series of one shots! Here's the sequel: My baby's fly like a jet stream, high above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new

28 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#2

I am afraid to go into the Interview With The Vampire tags right now....I know episode 5 was a lot, and it definitely needed trigger warnings for sure, but I...

I hesitate to say I enjoyed it, but I found it interesting to watch and will keep watching the show, and I also don't feel that the wave of panic about Lestat's character being butchered is true.

Also the people crying about not being able to ship Loustat after this when a lot of you ship Hannigram.....do I need to explain?? Really?🤨

I just don't wanna see the hate and negativity, I just wanna see nice gifs and art etc. and I have a feeling I won't get that.

33 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You're his destiny

A Loustat fanfic, and my first one in the fandom!

Available here: You're his destiny - TheImpossibleDetectivesAngel - Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022) [Archive of Our Own]

“For one horrifying second, as Louis curled against the cool metal, he thought that Lestat may leave him there, only protected from the deadly sun by the small terrace. […] He dismissed the thought as quickly as it appeared. Lestat had tried to warn him before he left, but Louis had been too scared, to wrapped up in his own mind to listen to the man. His new lover may be petty and vindictive, but he’d never leave Louis to die, not after everything he’d done to keep Louis with him so far.”

An extended cut of what happened between Lestat opening the gate and him carrying Louis up the stairs, and then a little extended cut of them after Lestat invites Louis into the coffin.

39 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

hey hi, no intentions to intrude but i saw you reblogged one of my posts tagging it as #oc isaac! I don't mean to be rude, but I'd like to hear about him, if you're willing to ramble (i like listening to people talk about their OCs). if not, then that's okay! have a nice day ☆

Holy shit. This isn't intruding at all holy shit I love talking about my OCs. Especially Isaac he's literally my favorite OCs. I'm literally so happy right now like this is hard to express in words. I am typing at the speed of light. I love asks about my OCs please everyone send me asks about my OCs.

Anyways! Ahem! A little bit of infodump on my favorite bastard!

Oh yeah. CW for like. Serial murder. Cannibalism. Torture. Failed executions. Solitary confinement. Starvation. Excessive amounts of suffering. So, so much trauma. That kind of stuff! There's probably more that I might be forgetting.

Longggg infodump under the readmore btw. If anyone reads it all I adore you also.

Here's some art of him! My friend made this for me <2

So, Isaac! He's like one of my favorite types of fictional character: unhinged arrogant men who are incredibly broken. Isaac has like two main motivations: he wants power and control, and he doesn't want to be hurt. And these are also very influenced by incredibly excessive amounts of hubris and anger.

A little bit of backstory: Isaac is an immortal shapeshifter, and he was born in like 1600s France (or the fantasy equivalent depending on the universe I put him into). He's transgender, which very much sucked for him in 1600s France, because 1. he was not allowed to live as his true gender and 2. people seen as women were not treated very nicely in 1600s France. Isaac was going to be married off to someone he didn't choose- so he ran away instead. And almost immediately afterwards he got into a duel and almost died. A last-minute deal with a deity saved his life, because he received his immortality and shapeshifting powers. The cost was that everyone he knew forgot about him- so he just went to the woods and lived there for like 150 years. Eventually he returned to society tho. However during that period of time in the woods, Isaac was completely isolated, and that warped his worldview very much. He thinks that he's above like all humans because of his powers. Combined with deep-seated resentment at humanity because of the restricted life he once led, Isaac decides to take it out on people by like. Murdering them. And then cannibalizing them afterwards. He looks down on people so much and he's desperate for a feeling of power and control, and murder and cannibalism gives him heaps of that. And then after like 50 years of that he gets caught. And his captors attempt to execute him, but it doesn't work since he's immortal. And they try everything. Hanging, beheading, drowning, immolation, garroting, just about everything. Isaac was alive and conscious for every one of them. So yeah, trauma! And eventually they decided to immure him (lock him in a cell, brick up the wall, and leave him to die), because he'd have to die eventually, right? Well, he didn't, and he spent about 200 years in a cell. A dark cell in a basement, with nobody else inside. His first escape attempts were futile, and eventually he lost the strength to even try escaping. Isaac may be immortal, but he still needs food and water to function normally. So it was just torture for him. He suffered even more knowing that he was there because he was subdued. Isaac knew that nobody would ever come to save him. He feels ashamed that he ever wanted someone to save him. Eventually he escapes because the prison above gets demolished. It takes him a while, but after finding food and water and getting to rest, Isaac does fully recover physically. His powers ensure that he'll never even have a scar. He returns to killing people anyways, because Isaac will never learn. Being left to rot in a basement cell changes him quite a bit, ofc! He's incredibly angry that he was bought so low, and he takes it out extra on people by committing more murder. And he's incredibly afraid of people and how they could hurt him now, although he'll never admit it. Isaac tries to pretend nothing ever happened to him, but he still sleeps with the lights on, and he hides food in his clothing, he's always eating or drinking something, and he flinches when someone gets too close to him. He's gone through so much shit, especially cuz of his own actions, but his pride prevents him from doing any self reflection, so he will keep digging his own grave further and further and further. Isaac does not have the ability to swallow his pride and reconsider what path he's taking, or seek help, and he doesn't try to be a better person cuz he doesn't think he needs to be.

And yeah! That's the Isaac infodump. It's just about every piece of information about regular Isaac. Should I reveal this in my writing instead of a tumblr ask? Probably. Will I post this anyways? Absolutely.

#oh I haven't talked about the um #torture AUs #quite a bit of the posts in the oc isaac tag are torture AU isaac #I'm very normal as you can see #anyways welcome to my whump blog #oh I should tag this with useful stuff #whump #oc isaac #technically I didn't mention some of the backstory events #midnight meal is a canon part of his backstory #yeah. I love putting this man through incredibly traumatic events #my ocs <2

[rosecoloredknight]

the way that you very obviously send yourself anons makes me giggle

the last 4 or 5 asks except the "what's my type", and "selfie" where from me. I found it interesting that I could send myself asks instead of . As pathetic as it is, I needed to talk myself out of the last two stressful days. These are the ones I asked myself.

-

-

-

I needed to vent so I asked these three questions for myself because my goodness, did I want to cry all day today and do nothing but wait till they were going to help me. I don't like feeling like I have to depend on people and wait until they find it fitting to do so. Even if it was just going to be me waiting till 2pm to replace the battery. I wanted to feel useful and so I took the battery out myself and walked to Walmart auto shop and boom. I'm really glad I did that. I got triggered when they told me that. It took me back to the year I stopped relying on them and just walked everywhere. Did you see how much I rambled and made a big deal out of nothing? Who else was going to accept my rant!?

—

This one was more of an internal question because of current circumstances and although time has and continues to pass, my affinity towards them will remain. I do stand by tagging them as such because that's honestly how I see them. But it's not because of their body? How do I explain myself without revealing anything but my admiration? Aghh— okay so, obviously they're SEXY AS FUCK ❤️‍🔥. Their body is super adorable with a cute, soft, and gradable tummy/back/hips 💕, their amazing bonkers (sorry if this offended you - but it's true) 💝, thighs to drown in 💘, with a hot juicy ass 💓, and their décolletage/collarbones/shoulders will always have me smitten... But again, that's not why I referred to them as such — To me, they will never be just some sexy body, a "piece of meat", sexual object (ALTHOUGH, I have sexualized about them a bit 😅😐), or an ordinary lewd Tumblr post. Yes, she's a work of art, like sunsets, and reminds of that Bruno Mars locked out of heaven song. However, I've been able to experience just how amazingly awesome they are and see how they are this, as they deal with that and this, and all while being THAT, which to me is one of, if not the most important role? How they're able to deal with all of that makes them a gorgeous hot mess, and despite all of it, they still remain endearing, making them the most beautiful girl out there. sigh, I feel as though I can write about them until the universe dies out. And I'll keep writing afterwards. Anyways, That's why I tag them that way. That being said, because of circumstances, it did make me feel rude and creepy hyping them up yesterday since I don't know if it's okay to do so. I was actually scared and worried about receiving a "cease and desist" dm. So that's why I sent myself that ask: is it okay for me to still hype and woo over? Am I doing this wrong? I hope this made sense.

That being said, that's me 👇🏽 every time I see their sexy pics and I'm not one bit ashamed to admit it.

The Washington ask is just me being excited but having no one else to express my excitement about. I should have just posted an update on it, I just got hooked up with the whole "wait, I can send myself asks?" Thing. Anyways, I am excited and scared about my visit over there. A lot of cars are going to be honking at me and I might be stopped by the popo because I'll most likely be driving too slow :/

—

It feels so refreshing to be honest about this. Yes, I'm extremely pathetic for doing so, but I'd rather talk to myself into madness than bother anyone.

I'm embarrassed, but glad to see you got amused by me being a loser. I was going to stop sending myself asks now that I got caught, but I'll keep it going here and there just to keep you giggling 👍🏽 It feels like you know me well enough to know which are the ones I'll send myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (not anytime soon tho)

Okay, take care anon 😊😊

#asks #i am pathetic #oof #i apologize if this is tmi #but context matters to me and i used this ask as opportunity to just be plain honest about it

[virtualduckbrigade]

i think the thing that gets me the most about stupid ass internet discourse about the moral purity of using the objects that are fictional characters as meabs and modes of sexual pleasure is that the excuses that people who are against it and think thought crimes are a thing are so *fucking ablist about it*. Like let me be clear, a solid 95% of people who are into that kind of shit are trauma survivors/victims. We get into it sexually as a way for our brains to cope with the traumatic events that happened to us. To make things that WERE and ARE *fucking terrifying*, things that keep us up at night in fear, not only palpitable, but pleasurable. AND SINCE ITS ALL FICTIONAL-- no one is actually getting hurt!!!! we can recontextualize our feelings in a way that is safe to LITERALLY everyone! and guess what! as long as you can still enjoy sex without the need to think about your fucked up kink, youre actually fine!! in fact, youre normal and healthy!!

Now, dont get me wrong. I DO think that if you make art about it, it needs to be tagged and posted places where minors cant get at it, because some people do get into certain things because of a minor(as in small and not underage) trauma around having unsupervised internet access too early minor(as in underage and not small), and thats what we're starting to see pop up around now with a lot of folks; but either way, if it is tagged and filterable, YOU, yes you, are the one responsible for curating your internet experience and if you dont know how to, frankly you shouldnt be anywhere outside of a search engine online. digressing from that too, if you filter out the things that you dont want to see and are triggering to you because you healed in a different way, you are 100% valid in doing so, so long as youre not screaming at the people who are healing in other ways that theyre "doing it wrong" because then, really what that says is that youre NOT healed. Because if you were healed, you wouldnt care what other people do if no real living person/animal was getting hurt.

You are not entitled to anyone elses personal information, when you go online. Some people might even be doing things to make it look like whatever is wrong with them ISNT wrong with them. You saying "anyone who does this is a freak and a pervert and a pedo who needs to be shunned from society" isnt helpful. it doesnt stop it. The only thing youve done is assert that "hello. i am an ablist and absolutely NOT a safe space for ANYONE who has any desire to heal from their trauma-related disorder. In fact I hope you die instead. You should be absolutely nothing but ashamed of what happened to you and the well-documented psychological responses it left your developing brain with". Like i get it, its fun to shit on Freud because 95% of the time the things coming out of his mouth were batshit. But Freud Was Right about A Lot Of Things. Specifically about Developmental Trauma and things people find uncontrolably sexually arousing down the road. AND AS LONG AS YOU CAN RECONTEXTUALIZE THAT AROUSAL TO *ONLY FICTION*, YOU ACTUALLY HELP *SOLVE THE PROBLEM*!!

and dont even get me STARTED on people with OCD who LITERALLY cannot move on from fucked up intrusive thoughts after they have them, or after someone makes a comment like, say, this post. All youve done is make them feel horrible too, over things that arent true and arent hurting them. Or the folk who suffer from delusions, who will believe more people are out to get them than the amount they thought prior.

Youre not "proctecting kids" or whatever the fuck, because if you WERE, you'd be lobbying for not only more therapy and better sex ed, but also better control over our collective internet experiences including advertising-free safe spaces for kids, and more massive archives of free well-tagged and correctly-tagged sometimes pornographic art something similar to ao3! but youre NOT. Youre projecting a belief not dissimilar to the religous trauma some people experience growing up that is only going to serve to blow up the issue and get more people to look at more fucked up shit online, earlier.

Youre not "taking a stance and stopping pedos", youre in the denial stage of your own minor(as in small) traumas because theres no safe spaces on the internet anymore since social media and capitalism fucked all of us, and the people with Major traumas dont have anywhere else to recontextualize that shit in a safe way anymore.

#tw #trigger warning #trauma #content warning #discusses anti behaviour #youre getting quacked at #rustled feathers in the night #do not make me turn off comments and reblogs because i WIL

[ruskeptical]

I noticed the post you're mentioning being reblogged on my timeline and they DOXXED his last name.

Make him aware if you can. I don't know if he knows and he deserves to if he wants to report it.

I don't know if he LEGALLY uses that, but in the tags I saw a name that looked like a last name.

Unless they have someone in their BASEMENT, you shouldn't ever release that kind of information about someone. I felt physically sick seeing that present anywhere.

These people are sick and disgusting.

I hope Kirby is ok. I fucking mean that. Back when he broke up with his ex FNGR I rooted for his downfall.

Now I see this and I wonder how far they've strayed from their intentions, and if it ever was rightly placed to begin with.

I don't know what's worse. Using his last name or using the name that he used as a brony. Because if memory serves, he claimed FNGR was abusive to him.

And if that's true?

I don't want to believe it, but that's a second level of horrifying. I feel horrible even thinking about the harassment we gave back in those days.

We thought it would be funny to misgender and deadname (me and my friends.) We thought ourselves clever because we would make jokes at his expense about his insecurities with his body image. We made ourselves laugh like idiots saying HORRIBLE things about him behind closed doors.

We thought ourselves clever because we didn't think he was telling the truth.

Well, FNGR showed his true colors in 2020 and now I can't help but believe what he said.

And looking back at WHAT he said FNGR did, this is a rabbit hole.

An entire RABBIT HOLE.

Claims of sexual abuse online and irl, emotional abuse so severe I could even see him picking fights with him on live streams and tormenting him, at one point FNGR gave personal information about Kirby's in real life trauma with his family.

Just to be petty. He gave information that was so personal I couldn't believe my eyes.

He has an entire stream once dedicated to humiliating him. I thought it was rightly deserved at the time but now? Now I just feel it was for their enjoyment.

Kirby was abused by his ex. And his ex's group of bigoted friends. Looking back on it, I should have realized what was going on. But I was an idiot.

I'm rambling, but that's because a lot of information about the behavior of Saturn is coming to light.

I had no idea she sank so low as to endorse doxxing information and deadnaming.

The lack of proof on the post only further pissed me off. The claims they made didn't seem like Kirby. At all.

I remember he one time tracked down and personally confronted pedophiles for FNGR. Even as narrow minded as I was at the time, I saw the passion and the empathy.

FNGR would always silence him about it, but Kirby made it a point to say he's been a victim. That's why he cares.

Kirby isn't a pedophile or anything close to that. He's a victim. Even if he wasn't allowed to say what he went through with his grooming, I could tell it was severe from how angry he would get at the people who went after minors online.

I heard him crying once and it broke me.

Kirby seems like he's doing well, which is astounding to say the least.

His roleplay blog is nicely set up, his characters are cute.

His art has improved HOLY SHIT.

(Can't say much of the same for Saturn)

Even seeing her deadname him back in those days makes me cringe and repulsed.

I would reach out to him but I know if I do, SHE'LL know.

She somehow always knows that shit.

And I rather not deal with her lunatic screaming at me for giving her an ounce of criticism that goes unheard.

I hope you and Kirby are well. I mean that. I'm too ashamed of my past to come forward about who I am.

Maybe one day. But for now. Please please PLEASE take care.

This is incredibly heartwarming to read, and I'll make sure this makes it back to Kirby.

I will say though, if you want my opinion, you should get the fuck out of there too. You shouldn't, nor should anyone, have to live with a Sword of Damocles hanging over them like this. I can't promise these piranhas won't come after you too, but I can promise that you'll always find friendship and kindness. My DMs are open, and I'll stick my Discord at the end here too if you want to talk. And if you feel up to it eventually, I think you should tell Kirby all of this personally. It would mean a lot to him.

SKEPTICAL.#9670

#skep.text

[luxrayz64]

god going through my old art tag on here is something else. the hell you mean I posted hetalia art here? I had a hetalia url?

#no point in hiding it tho #I retagged em all w my current art tag #god I can't believe I didn't change my url till like 2018 #my url used to be kingdom-of-hella-leg #and my art tag? #kingdom of hella art #eh. im not ashamed of the art. I was 14-15. I keep up everything I've ever drawn on my ig so might as well keep em here too #the url tho. haunts me #ha I used to NEVER post on here #only stuff I was really proud of #I mean that's still more or less true but whatever #but I've posted more stuff here since I got into sonic last year than I have in all the 3 years I've been on this site #anyway not sure if it'll actually come up in my new tag so feel free to go through my old one if u want #or my ig @hayleve.art #Ajakakwjjsjsjwjw god u know what. I might rb some of that old shit #espeon cries

[hqamore]

boreal star ✵ chapter seven

with alina in the wind, general kirigan now has scramble to find her. the only person he has to get through is you.

series genre: romance & angst

series pairing: [past?] aleksander morozova (general kirigan) x reader

word count: 1.5k

warning(s): suggestive?

here’s the masterlist

when you regained consciousness, you attempted to open your eyes, quickly shutting them after being met with blinding lights. you felt aches all over your body. cold intrusions weighted your wrists as you shifted them, accompanied by the clanking of chains. you could hear the bustling crowds outside, conversations about the famed general kirigan being in kribirsk. the wind kissed your cheeks red when several masses moved into wherever you were being held (you presumed a tent).

“get up.”

not carrying for the tone, you pretended to sleep. after several moments passed, your chains were yanked. you fell onto the floor, your muscles pulsating in pain.

“what a lovely wake-up call.” you wrestled against the hands grabbing at you and, when you lost, were forced to sit up. “you know, i usually get to know someone before getting rough. we all have our kinks i suppose.”

a high-pitched giggle rang before it was muffled (not very well though). with a cleared throat, it ceased completely. you slowly opened your eyes to observe the room. a total of five bodies: zoya, ivan, a palace guard, a durast, and aleksander. you’ve gotten out with higher odds stacked against you.

“tell me where they went.”

you rolled your eyes and smirked. “unfortunately for you, my dear general, i’ve only sent them off. just told them to run far from ravka.”

your former lover glanced at ivan who shrugged. he breathed in deeply, clenching his fists. he squatted in front of you and called out to his subordinates. “leave us.”

one by one, they left the tent, zoya hovering by the opening with a nasty look on her face. you looked at her and winked. her lips curled into a sneer before she huffed away.

you returned your attention to aleksander who took the opportunity to come closer to you. you leaned back but failed, closed in by a bench. you watched as his hands rested on your knees. you tried to shake them off only for him to grip tighter as they climbed your legs. you met his half-lidded eyes, thrown off by the (scandalously) familiar gaze.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” you said, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

a lazy smile took residence on his face, his tongue flitting across his bottom lip. “did you not miss it?”

feeling very confused and slightly mortified, you tilted your head away from him. “miss what?” you asked.

“our rendezvouses. how you could have me groveling at your feet with a simple touch. how i begged to use my mouth to please you,” he whispered. he rested his hands, kneading your inner thighs.

you scoffed. “did alina rejecting your advances give you brain damage? you really thought i would—”

your words were swallowed when his lips meshed with yours. you would be lying if it didn’t make you have butterflies. after being apart for years, you couldn’t tell if it felt right or nostalgic. stopping yourself from getting lost in the feeling, you shoved him away with your bounded wrists and bolted up. aleksander stumbled back, looking bewildered and distant.

“how dare you?” you spat. “trying to seduce me again for your stupid ambitions? let me be very clear, aleksander. you may have fooled me once, but there will not be a second time.”

you snorted and shook your head, a flurry of emotions rising in you.

“for thirty years, i wondered why i wasn’t enough for you? for fate? did i not follow you faithfully? did i not hang off your every word? did i not love you more than my own life?!”

furious tears welled as you heaved heavily. aleksander was still, his mouth parted, looking as if he wanted to say something. you couldn’t afford to give him the chance anymore. the stitches in your heart were breaking at the seams.

“i hated the world for so long for not giving me the powers you desired. i hated myself over things i couldn’t control. i knew for months that i was not your fated, your wistful destiny, but i stayed. i hoped that your words were empty and you said those things in a drunken stupor, but they say drunken words are sober thoughts. i was a fool to wish otherwise.

“the day i left was the day i stopped allowing myself to mourn over the fact that you were no longer mine. i finally saw my worth and decided that i would love someone else who would too.” you wiped away the tears that fell, then closed your eyes to prevent more from falling.

“did you?”

“what?” you whispered tiredly.

you heard him shuffle to stand, his shoes dragging against the carpet. “did you find someone else to love?” he weakly asked.

you made the mistake of opening your eyes. you took in his appearance—his red, glossy eyes that bore into you and the subtle way his frame wilted. you couldn’t decide whether to scoff at the audacity of him, acting as if he was the victim, or cry at the sight of his regretful posture. even through everything, a small part of you desperately wanted to believe him and embrace him, but you knew you couldn’t—that you shouldn’t.

“i did,” you said, avoiding his eyes.

“oh,” he breathed. “are you still...”

“we parted ways prior to my being here.”

he hummed softly and looked to the sky—like he was praying to the saints. “what if... i was being sincere? would you give me a chance to prove it?”

a scoff left you in disbelief, bitterness coating your voice. “you continuing to pursue your delusions is proof enough for me.”

with longing eyes, he stepped closer to you and captured your hands in his. he bent his neck to level with you. “what i’m doing… what i have been doing for the past five-hundred years… it’s all been to make ravka safer, to make grisha safer, to make you safer.”

you turned away, your will to not fall fading, only for him to tilt your chin towards him. he cradled your face in his palm, brushing away stray tears. “please, [y/n]. i admit, i made one of the biggest mistakes in my life not searching for you. i believed that you were a placeholder, someone to keep me satisfied until the sun summoner came. when you left, i realized how wrong i was.

“every single day, for 30 years, you were my first and last thought. how are they? are they safe? i hope no harm has come to them. [y/n], when you appeared before the king, you don’t understand how relieved i was to see you. at first, i was angry and spiteful at you for leaving me alone, but, as time passed and we fell into routine, my love resurfaced and won.”

you chuckled. “and what would you have me believe alina was? i saw it in your eyes at the winter fete. the same affection i once thought you held for me.”

“the winter fate?” he paused before smiling. “[y/n], you must’ve caught me thinking of you wearing that kefta.”

you grabbed his wrist and pulled it away from your face, the heavy chains grounding you. “you must think me stupid to believe that.”

then, aleksander looked grief-stricken. he fell onto his knees, his lips ghosting over your hands. “what do i have to do to make you believe me, [y/n]?”

you offered a sad smile. “destroy the fold… then, and only then, will i believe that your words aren’t pretty lies to trick me into complying.”

you turned as much as the chains could afford you. “please leave me be,” you whispered.

it felt like eons before you heard him move away. “there will be an expedition through the fold tomorrow. we are to escort foreign diplomats. so, rest up.”

wind rushed back into the tent as he left. once the tent flapped shut, you sank into the ground. tears streamed down your face as you pounded your chest, trying to relieve some of the sorrow. you hated yourself for even hoping that some of what aleksander said was true. you hated that, unlike what you wished to be, you were still easily manipulated by his charms.

i hate that i can’t hate you.

—

unbeknownst to you, aleksander’s heart was rabid and his duplicity dissolved, almost like the kiss was a rush of cold water. he couldn’t find it in himself to deceive you—or himself—anymore.

at first, he was attempting to seduce you. but, when he had kissed you… it was like all those years without you were unreal. it was like he hadn’t lived in the moments where you weren’t there by his side. it was like he could finally let go of the breath he never knew he was holding.

he was a blind man who was given the gift of sight, a deaf man given the wonders of hearing.

he had never felt more stupid in his life. he already had his equal. [y/n] was there, presiding over his heart, and he was an idiot to believe what he felt for them was something akin to complacency.

“general kirigan!”

blinking, he looked up to see ivan running towards him. he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

the heartrender stopped by his side, leaning closer. “we found the sun summoner and the stag. should we bring them in?”

aleksander glanced back at your tent, then turned away ashamed. “bring them unharmed. bring the tracker too.”

taglist (could tag the bolded ones): @kykymyeon @shelivesindaydreamswme @blackbirddaredevil23 @amortentiaaaa @safetyhtom @savannah-elliott @deceivedeer @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit @sarcastic-and-cool @supersouthy @let-love-bleeds-red @andwhatofthelight @all-art-is-quite-useless​ @mixed-imagination​ @ashdab2611​ @aria-grace-scott​ @multifandom-addict​ @aleksanderwh0r3​ @p3nny4urth0ught5​ @kirigansgf​ @evyiione​ @theoutsidelandhere​ @wizardwheezes​ @partiesandblurrypolaroids​ @pansysgirlfriend​ @takethee​ @its-carlerrr​ @kaqua​ @rachellovesharry @imrann123456

author’s babble: now, there’s a dilemma for me. i think i see two ways this can go. crack!fic-ish or no crack!fic-ish. i will keep the crack!fic-ish portion separate. if you’d like to read the alt route, you can start with this! it’s the alt route ending of chapter seven *:ﾟ*｡⋆ฺ(*´◡`)

#boreal star #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #grishaverse fanfiction #shadow and bone imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan imagine #the darkling x reader #the darkling imagine #aleksander morozova x reader