#I constantly feel the need to explain myself when it comes to the nature of Nat's possession | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelgoddard · 10 months

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐒! ♡︎

𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒐𝒏𝒆: 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕. 🎀

technically this should be step zero. but it's important to get clear on what you actually want. there are a lot of ways to do this. below i've compiled a small list for you!

- look into archetypes + system. they are patterns and associations based on body type, facial features, and personality traits. (i know there's ones that exist for feminine presenting people, i'm not sure about masculine presenting people. you are obviously not obligated to follow these, but they can be fun sometimes, especially if you're looking to curate a specific image of yourself.)

- observe the people you admire. this is a great way to try and find patterns in the people you look up to. (for example, i tend to gather inspiration from celebrities who have very youthful, sweet, and angelic faces. this helped me realize what my desired face was.)

- get creative. use faceswap and apps similar to blend together people you want to look like! if the beauty you're going for is more conceptual, make a collage board of things that visually describe your beauty. (for example, my collage board included things like cats, bunnies, deer, angels, dolls, etc.)

- you can also look at pinterest and save images of bodies, body parts, and facial features to help you know you want. this is especially useful if you're a person who has trouble keeping track of things you're manifesting.

- write a list of all the features you want. (notion is a great app to make lists and sort things if you don't enjoy using paper.)

- if you just want to become better looking overall, your subconscious knows what you truly want, so don't stress about specifying it if you're having trouble doing so.

♡- knowing that we are limitless can be a very freeing feeling, but it's important to remember that just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should do something. remember to be critical of what you want, especially when it comes to manifesting appearance changes. society has taught most of us what we are supposed to deem beautiful and healthy and what is ugly and unhealthy. do not allow indoctrination to control you. read this for more clarification.

𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒕𝒘𝒐: 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒅. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

fulfilling yourself is the most important part of the process. you must do it continuously until you feel as if you no longer need to do it because your desires are truly yours. you do not engage in methods to get anything, creation is finished. this post focuses specifically on fulfilling yourself using the state akin to sleep. there's many tutorials that already exist, explaining how to get to the state. here's a few of my personal favorites: 1, 2, 3, 4.

i personally have trouble quieting my mind down and getting into the state of thinking about my desires, so i like to either listen to music or do a meditation beforehand. here are some mediations i enjoy using: 1, 2,. while i relax my body, i sometimes listen to soundscapes to calm myself down (1, 2, 3,). depending on how i feel, i will either use the lullaby method or visualize. below, I've listed some ideas for imaginal scenarios.

- people asking you if you're [insert celebrity/person] because you look just like them!

- overhearing people gossiping about you, and accusing you of having work done when you're really just a natural beauty

- people constantly asking you for makeup tutorials or what your skincare routine is

- seeing yourself on thumbnails of subliminals/seeing yourself all over pinterest

- getting showered with compliments everywhere you go, people give you things for free and do you favors bc of how beautiful you are

♡- you don't have to fall asleep in the state for it to work. it's beneficial, but not essential. i personally like to do sats visualization midday, and the lullaby method at night.

♡- try not to make your scenarios too convoluted or have too much going on, especially if you're going to fall asleep looping it. it will be more difficult to keep track of what's going on as you slip farther into sleep. (from personal experience, the people in my scenario start slurring their words when i get too sleepy during a complicated sats scenario.)

♡- sats also works for revision. just imagine scenarios working the way you wanted them to, or an event in the past, and imagine you had your desired appearance then.

as for the lullaby method, here are some phrases you can repeat.

- it is done.

- i am stunning.

- i am beautiful.

- it is finished.

- i am free.

- it has been this way.

♡- remember that while doing this, you don't have to feel any particular emotion. you don't need to feel happy, grateful, sad, or peaceful. if you do that's great, and if you don't, that's also perfectly fine. knowing isn't this wise, specific feeling, it's just being aware and accepting what you have as truth. the device you're using to read this post now exists, right? you know you just have it. that's how it should feel to you while fulfilling yourself. it is also okay for the scenario/phrase to not feel natural at first. just keep doing it and eventually the sense of realness will begin to set in.

𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆: 𝒅𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆. 🎀

the art of detatchment is an essential one. detatchment doesn't refer to completely neglecting 3d responsibilities, shutting yourself in a dark room, not going to the bathroom, or not showering— it means do whatever you need to in the outer world, but don't identify with anything that doesn't align with your desires. if you find yourself crying about how ugly you are, seek comfort in imagination and remind youself that the true you, the inner you, doesn't cry over their appearance because they are confident in how they look.

detatchment includes stopping yourself from controlling things that don't manifest, like thoughts. stop thought flipping, forcing yourself to think positively, and putting yourself on these super strict mental diets because they don't solve the real issue. thoughts stem from states, and they do not manifest anything. you have the power to reject thoughts that don't align with your desires, and accept the ones that do. anything you think that aligns with your desire say "i accept this thought." and anything that doesn't, simply say "i reject this thought." as soon as you fully fulfill yourself, your thoughts will begin to naturally flow from your new dwelling state (the wish fulfilled). you should not be burning yourself out, take it easy.

detatchment also refers to letting go of the how. logic and law of assumption absolutely do not mix, they're oil and water. you have to let go of logical limitations and focus only on the end result. obsessing about waking up with your new appearance or revising it is not going to help you. how you get your desires is not your problem, nor your job. you do not need to take any sort of 3d action, like working out or eating well (although this is a great thing to do, of course!). mental work is the only work you need to do. everything else will simply fall into place, that's the law.

persistence is another important aspect of manifestation. you cannot manifest anything without some degree of persistence. once you decide you have something in imagination, you have to remain faithful to the idea. you can't continually go back to wanting your desire when you've decided it belongs to you in imagination. persisting in the idea that you truly have what you want will end your hunger and allow you to feel free and fulfilled.

a good way to continually fulfill yourself is to set up a sort of routine, like entering sats before getting out of bed each morning, or doing the lullaby method as you fall asleep. as neville said, we are creatures of habit, and habit acts as law, even though it is not. changing your negative habit of remaining in an undesired state into a positive one of consistently remaining in a desired state is very beneficial in solidifying persistence. your routine doesn't have to be extremely convoluted or detailed, it just has to be consistent, like skincare. you don't see results if you only wash your face once a day, you have to persist in your assumptions for them to become facts.

𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓: 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒂𝒕𝒉. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

the sabbath is the rest period in which you are completely aware that you have your desires, and know that they absolutely must materialize. although the experience of the sabbath can be slightly different for everyone, what typically happens during this stage is:

- feeling no desire to use any methods (why would you need methods if you know you have your desire?)

- not feeling anything towards your desire (in the same way you feel nothing towards objects in your 3d, you just know they exist)

- thoughts naturally flow from the state of having your desires

- not spiraling or wavering

𝒕𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒊𝒄𝒆. 🎀

question: is the lullaby method just vain affirming?

answer: according to neville, it is not. i am aware some blogs say you can just affirm, but he has always suggested to add feeling to your words, as feeling acts like glue, connecting the imagined reality to the physical one. (again, the feeling is not an emotional one, but rather a feeling of knowing.)

question: minnie, i'm always reminded of my 3d appearance by my family/friends, what do i do?

answer: i think this ask would be helpful!

question: what if i am unable to visualize?

answer: use your other senses (smell, touch, taste, hearing). you can also try studying images of whatever you want to visualize to make them stick in your mind.

question: i can't get into sats on my own, i need guidance, any suggestions?

answer: this meditation is absolutely perfect!

♡︎- stop overconsuming information! you know everything you need to know. there are no more new discoveries to be made. the law is easy and simple. get off tumblr if you're using it in hopes of finding some kind of life-changing information, because you will not find it.

♡︎- stop procrastinating. no, that youtube video you're choosing to fall asleep to isn't going to fulfill you, but doing the lullaby method will. that video will always be there to watch later. what is more important: your happiness, or your momentary entertainment?

♡︎- forget about time. time is not real. focusing on time is focusing on lack- which isn't what you should be doing. continue to fulfill yourself in imagination. what you experience there must be expressed.

♡︎- don't stop persisting. do not let the lack of results in the outer world deter you. if you really want your desires the way you say you do, is persisting really that much work? if your answer is yes, you probably didn't want it that much in the first place. what do you have to lose by visualizing every night or saying an affirmation as you fall asleep? the law is universal, it does not discriminate. no matter how "long" it takes, it shouldn't be worth giving up if you truly, truly want it.

thankyou for reading! <3 (please don't repost without credits)

#manifestation #law of assumption #minnie luvs the law ♡#state akin to sleep #neville goddard #law of conciousness #desired appearance

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bigfatbimbo · 1 month

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So after that one ask about housewife!Vox having an accident in bed, it got me thinking;

Would the aftermath of that—or something similar to the humiliation of that—be the moment Vox realizes that he wants to marry you? This is based off the assumption the two have not tied the knot yet, obviously.

Like over the course of the next few days, Vox can’t help but think about you and your relationship; you’ve been there for everything. When he was pretty much at the top of the world, his booming business, his scuffles with Alastor, down to the downfall of the Vee’s and much more after that.

Obviously he knew this relationship was gonna last a long time. After all, revealing his mommy kink and his naturally subby nature to someone is something he would absolutely never reveal to anyone unless he knew he could really, really, trust you and see this lasting for a very long time. So it’s definitely not the first time he’s thought about it but this time it’s different.

It’s not like the “They wouldn’t be a terrible spouse”, or, “I suppose being spouses isn’t the biggest inconvenience”, no. This time, he’s like really thinking about it.

His humiliating downfall from his overlord status to basically a “loser baby~🎵” (sorry couldn’t help myself) made his already insecure ass even more insecure. Surely you’d leave right? Why would you stay? Why would you insist he stay? He’s thought about leaving with just himself and Vark to anywhere as to not be a burden to you. Who would want such a failure like him as a partner anyways? Who would want to come home to him everyday?

Well, you do. Whether he’s on top of the world or at rock bottom—you’re there. And if he’s honest with himself; with you there it doesn’t feel like rock bottom at all.

I can imagine the proposal going a few different ways. Like he dips into his savings that he only uses for emergencies (usually spoiling Vark with an actual tank rather than using your little bathtub all the time) and buys a ring—he’s going to propose. Or, he subtly starts hinting towards engagement rings to you in hopes you’d propose. Hell I can even imagine him excitedly calling up Velvette (headcanoning he keeps contact with the other fallen Vee’s) and calling in a favour to make him a wedding suit before he’s even proposed to you 🤦‍♀️ he’s just excited. And he hopes you are too <3

THIS IS SO CUTE OMFG— Anyways, for those who don’t know, the post that sparked this was an ask regarding housewife!Vox, after the fall of the vees, (A little au i have on here if you don’t know) waking up from a terrible nightmare and realizing that he wet the bed.

The anon proposed that leading to sex but in the ask I said that he would prefer to just be comforted and made feel better about his childish and ‘pathetic’ behavior. So imagine, after taking care of the sheets and remaking the bed, taking him in your arms just spooning him, holding him and reassuring that he’s not pathetic, and he’s been having a rough time.

Planting innocent little kisses on his hands and neck while explaining how he’s safe, he’s with you, and you’re not gonna let anything happen. Oh and most best of all, just as you know he’d prefer, you’d forget all about this in the morning.

Something about that, the way you knew exactly how to treat him, exactly what to say to make him feel better, and the fact you didn’t kick him out for doing something so humiliating. Something just clicks in that moment.

With you planting a gentle kiss on his shoulder, he knows. He wants to marry you. It’s honestly a foreign feeling, the need to be tied down to someone permanently like that. But from that night on, it’s on his mind constantly.

You do something for him and he’s just thinking “Oh my god… I love my [wife/husband] so much.” And you’re not even married yet.

He’s planning out his proposal, hinting to you that he wants you too, making ‘slick’ remarks about rings in shop windows. Seeing which one you might be interested in and if that doesn’t work, hinting at the one he wants.

I have such a vision in my head of the proposal being very sitcom-esc. But in the sense where he’s behind you on one knee, waiting for you to turn around, and when you finally do you just grin and laugh, before pulling out a ring from you pocket and going to on one knee yourself.

Like that goofy ‘proposing at the same time’ skit would literally fit this so well. Ugh, domestic Vox gets me so hard. And I like this way better than the more probable way that the housewife!Vox arc would end (so much angst. Terrible terrible terrible.)

Anyways, i’ve been posting a lot of Vox content lately. Can you guys guess my fav character? Haha… nope, very slick.. OH BOY I SURE HOPE NO ONE LEAVES MORE VOX ASKS JN MY INBOX TONIGHT!! maybe more of that boss/assistant human au!! ☺️☺️

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #vox x reader #hazbin hotel fluff #inbox open

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kimakento · 4 months

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&team when you leave home after an argument

pairing:(s) ot9 x fem!reader ⌙ 1.0k

genre(s): fluff + very minuscule angst(?)

warning(s): none?

author’s note: i’m so proud of myself bc i wrote this all today 🤭 this was a request and again, i’m so sorry for taking so long to write this but i really hope you enjoy this !! tysm for those who read this :D

euijoo —

ej would definitely literally run out after you, apologising profusely. he’d cling to your arm and ask for a second chance, saying that the argument was his fault.

you couldn’t bare being away from him and eventually gave in. he’d make it up to you by taking you out and peppering your face with little kisses.

euijoo tries to make you laugh with jokes and embraces you constantly until that smile he loves to see on your face shows up.

harua —

harua would feel it’s his fault and he’d torture himself by filling his mind with the sight of tears streaming down your face just before you left. a sense of remorse would continue to haunt him.

but tell me he wouldn’t continue to spam your messages, with a bunch of apologies and asking you to come back. midnight voicemails are a definite, he explains his side to the argument and express that he misses you.

harua would appear the next day, with flowers in hand, asking for forgiveness. he’d admit that you were the only one for him and the argument you had was nothing to him if it meant being away from you.

maki —

very like harua to be honest, he would be so persistent. it depends on the nature of the argument but he swallows his pride and admits fault. although he’s quite a hot-headed person, he still felt as if he should try to get you back.

you also come to the realisation that you miss him more than ever. he’d send you little gifts with notes saying things like ‘come back to me.’

he adorns that same puppy-like frown every passing day. that moment when you return is his happiest, maki couldn’t bare one single day of not waking up without you beside him. the promise of never doing it again lingers fulfilled as the chemistry between you grew even stronger.

nicholas —

nicho is a very clingy guy, when he feels how his bed feels so empty without you, regret would consume him. you on the other-hand, missed warmth that his presence provided.

the warmth that made you feel so safe. he acts so tough, but is literally so weak for you. he’d show up at your door the next day, asking so sweetly for a second chance. nicholas would start beaming when you told him that you missed him as well and apologised too.

taking your hand and kissing your knuckles is his favourite form of affection. also, you remind him that you forgive him and that the argument was only something small and meaningless.

k —

k would give you space, understanding that sometimes we all need a little break. he’ll let it rest for a few days, but also checking in on you consistently. but you being stubborn, left him on read which made him even more worried.

his name stands for king of apologising and making up for stuff with big gestures. “i’m so sorry, i understand it was my fault.”

his guilt would definitely eat him up from the inside and he’d insist on taking you. that’s when he realises that you’re the person who he cares most about.

knowing him so well, you can tell that it affected him as much as it did you, so you try to make it up to him and reassure him every chance you find.

yuma —

he always has a smile on his face, but when you go it also suddenly disappears. the similarity between you both is your stubbornness, neither of you wanted to apologise. but in the end, you ended up asking to meet up.

at the sight of you, yuma would start grinning and open his arms for you. no words would have to be exchanged. you both knew what the other was feeling without even having to say anything.

the fact that he’s with you is enough to make you happy and give you an extra bounce in your step. he was your calm that grounded you during the storm and you loved him for that.

fuma —

mentally scolds himself for ever taking a petty argument that for that you leave. spends the whole time thinking about how to get you to return back to him; he even starts asking his own members.

while you’re gone, he feels like he can’t genuinely enjoy anything. fuma calls you nonstop until you pick up and cry on the phone to him.

he’ll ask you to come back and when you do he’d hold you in his arms all night, tending to your every need, even when you say you’re fine he insists on doting on you like you’re his princess. (he calls you that daily)

jo —

i can’t imagine a scenario where he’d let you leave. jo would resolve the situation then and there, choosing to pull you into his lap and wrap his arm around your waist.

all while whispering how much he adores you and how sorry he is. even when you cry, he’d probably kiss them away. you’d turn around to him and peck his nose and pinch his cheeks.

his half-stifled sniffles don’t go unnoticed by you and at that both of you chuckle, even wondering why the argument was even that important.

“i love you, yeah?” | “i love you too, jo.”

taki

leaves you alone for a while and reflects on the whole situation.

instead, you turn up again the next day, apologising for being so stubborn. you see his weary, tired eyes and bad posture. but when he sees you, his smile is groggy and you jump into his open arms.

he opens up about his inner turmoil and also says sorry. you join beside him in his bed, stroking his soft hair.

while his eyelids flutter from the overwhelming fatigue, he repeats how much he loves you and promises not to let you leave ever again. he pecks the side of your mouth and falls asleep.

they’re all so cute !!

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITH for correcting an ethinic student about my hair?

First of all, I say ethnic because i honestly have no idea what their race is. She is a beautiful, dark skined girl with gorgeous curls, but not aftican american skin (Mediterranean maybe?) so saying black felt wrong (if this alone makes me the A-hole tell me in the comments, just trying not to assume things about people.)

Anyway, I (33f) work at a college as a professional aid/assistant. I have naturally aumber/deep red hair. I have Irish, Scottish, and mixed European ancestors. My hair is mixed texture ranging from 2B, 2C, and 3A in different sections (its a hot mess but in a good way okay lol). My hair type comes from my dad's side of the family (he alwayss kept it short) so my mom had no idea how to identify or care for textured hair. I grew up with the standard of wash every day/every other day and brush frequently. Needless to say, my hair was a frizzy mess growing up, and through high school and college I straightened it constantly.

Upon growing into my 30s i realized what my texture really was and educated myself on its care. I now properly care for it (admittedly, at a minimum because I'm lazy). I wash and heavily condition with curly products, minimum rinse, minimum dry, and sleep in a plop. If i feel ambitious i add curl gel or use refresher spry between washes. Thats it, but my waves/curls are beautiful to me and I'm happy.

Enter the student in question (T). After an exam she approached me (i was immediately post wash day so my hair was the most wavy/curly it ever is) and asked to speak to me in private. I thought nothing of it as students often speak to me about their concerns or struggles in classes. T started telling me i am being inappropriate and insensitive for wearing my hair like I do. That it minimizes and appropriates her culture. I was stunned. In told her my hair was naturally like this and she kind of laughed at me, saying it wasn't possible for white people to have hair like mine naturally, and that she knew i had straight hair before (a couple years ago when i was straightening it, i guess?).

I explained my heritage and how i had only recently learned to care for it. I even told her my routine. She called me a liar, and i admit i lectured her after that. I went on about how lots cultures historically had naturally wavy/curly/kinky hair and it was no owned by a single race.

T called me a liar and said i was being insensative to she and her friends. I said sorry but that's just how it goes and i love my hair. She stormed off. The next week after class a group of T's friends came up to me and said i was rude and insensitive to her, and that i needed to be more continuous of their cultural struggles (i won't try to name their race/cultural because they were a diverse group of like 7 ethinic students).

I was not trying to minimize anyones culture, just educate that hair culture can be diverse and doesn't care about skin color. Was that an A-hole move? I mean, i'm paper white and have curly/wavey hair, them saying that its racist to be myseld is actually pretty hurtful to me.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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scarsrealm · 6 months

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questionable actions. | re2 inaccurate, yandere, leon scott kennedy

<<<blurb>>>

“STAY behind me.” Leon’s voice dripped with protection and care for you. You simply nodded at his orders, in fact, you were glad he was protecting you; especially in these conditions. But at the same time, his “protection” became odd. He would make sure you’re 100% safe by holding you close, a little too close. You understood he was just making sure you were okay but it came to a point where you felt a bit uncomfortable.

You were running through the police station, following Leon as he guided you both through the halls. The zombies were almost everywhere, you thought you had no chance of winning. You just wanted to be free and get the hell out of here. The zombies would lunge at you, you could hear their growls and groans. Of course, Leon would do what he always does. Protect you.

He would hold you close to him, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. The way he held you made your body feel tense, not being used to this sort of thing. His behavior was off-putting. You could feel his breath against your skin. His hands would touch your skin, making you flinch a bit. His lips were right next to your ear, whispering that he'll protect you. You were grateful for his kindness and help but you thought there had to be some sort of limit.

It was when things got worse that his protective nature became more... possessive?

"I'm not going anywhere without you," Leon said. “Leon, it’s fine, I’m a grown woman, I can handle a little—“

“No.” And that was it. The word was simple yet the way he said it made it clear that he wasn't budging on this. He didn’t want you going anywhere without him. He wanted you right by his side. He didn’t care if it was a small, harmless task. He didn’t want you leaving his side, no matter what.

Leon was a cop, so of course, his first priority was to keep you safe, but you thought he would've loosened up a bit when you tried telling him it's alright. But it was like he was stuck in this mindset.

There were times where you would go to get supplies, such as medkits, herbs, or any handgun ammo, and you would be fine on your own. That is, until Leon caught wind of you being away from him and he would come to you, scolding you for being alone.

"Y/n, I told you not to leave my side."

“Y/n, come on before you get hurt."

"You can’t keep just disappearing on me..."

He would constantly be on your tail, always looking for you. When you were with him, it was great! But whenever he wasn't near, or if he didn't know where you were, his behavior would become frantic and panicked.

And it was the worst when you tried defending yourself.

"Y/N!" He yelled, coming back to you after killing off a few zombies. "What are you doing!? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

You rolled your eyes, wiping off the sweat that was on your forehead. “Leon, im not completely helpless! I can handle myself!" You explained sternly. You didn't mean to get mad at him, but he needed to stop babying you.

"What? Are you serious?" He scoffed. "I don't want you risking your life like that. You could’ve gotten bit.”

You groaned. You didn’t want to argue, you were tired of it all. "Just stay behind me and let me take care of everything." He said, holding his gun in front of him. "Leon, im not a child, I can—"

"Just let me protect you."

"Why are you acting like this?" You questioned. You were getting a bit annoyed with his constant need to look after you.

"Because I'm the only one that can keep you safe.”

That sentence confirmed that something was wrong. You had no idea why he would say such a thing. You two just met, he doesn’t even know you that well, and yet he acts as if he had known you for years.

"Wha—?"

"Nothing. Just stay behind me and be quiet." He commanded.

This was crazy. You couldn’t wrap your head around it. What was his problem? You didn’t know. But there was a feeling deep down inside you, something that screamed to you that something was definitely not right with Leon.

But it was too late to ask questions. You were forced to be at his side.

Leon was so serious about you that he didn't even hesitate to kill. No matter what. Even if they looked like a normal human, he would pull the trigger. Anything that went towards you, he would take it down.

He was ruthless.

#leon kennedy #resident evil #leon scott kennedy #yandere #yandere leon kennedy #yandere Leon Scott Kennedy #re2r #resident evil 2 #re2 leon #yandere re2 Leon #mature #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy blurb #leon kennedy drabble

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hotchfiles · 5 months

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HIIIII!!!! saw ur post ab the bash, wanted to rq remus lupin using the prompt “every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone” CONGRATS ON 100!!!!

lari's 100th follower bash + send me a prompt and one of my boys for a blurb

remus + “every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone”

remus was the most loyal person anyone could meet. he would die before betraying the ones he trusted. he would kill to protect them. he was also a big fat liar, and you were still trying to understand how to trust him when those two truths lived in him so easily. he was so fearful of losing people lying became second nature, afraid the truth would be worse.

maybe if he was a good liar it wouldn't be much a problem, but he wasn't. his voice would crack, his eyes would avoid you, his face would be immediately sweaty. then you would not only be mad at him for the original reason (almost leaving you, telling people he would leave you, hiding the extent of his hurt, being secretive about his orders from dumbledore) but mostly because he was lying.

at least those seemed somewhat reasonable to lie about, but the argument you two were having now had not an ounce of reason. "someone flirts with you constantly. you don't tell her off, fine. she tries to kiss you and then you just avoid her. fine." you're walking around, listing what you had heard from sirius earlier, your hands gripping on the waist line of your shirt, controlling yourself, your anger. it definitely wasn't fine. "then i meet her and you tell me she's just someone from work?"

"i'm aware it doesn't look goo—" you cut him right away, not even giving him space to try and save his werewolf ass from the mess he had got himself him.

"oh no, it does not. it looks terrible, lupin, what're you doing? keeping safe spaces you can run to when you do decide to actually leave me?" you weren't the type to bring back old wounds to fresh fights, but that was one that would never completely heal. you would always remember lily's worried voice telling you about how remus asked james for help getting away. or when you woke up on a random morning monday, his baggage still done, his face pleading for forgiveness for having almost left.

"i—will not explain myself again." he kept thinking the more he talked, the more the argument would escalate and somewhere you would notice for yourself he wasn't good. he couldn't deal with that right now. he actually felt loved with you, a type of love he didn't have to exhaust himself trying to earn it. you always just gave him, he was terrified you'd take it back if you two kept fighting.

"yeah don't, you might actually tell me the truth for once, wouldn't want that." your tongue drips of venom, even if barely loud enough for him to hear, the loud sigh you let out after almost hiding away your anger. before he could even reply, your tired steps headed to the room you both shared. the tears you've been swallowing trying hard to come forward, the air on your lungs becoming thinner and thinner. you drop to the floor as soon as you get to it, laying down as flat and quiet as you could.

you needed to calm down.

breath in. breath out.

you spend good time like that, your eyes closed, your mind focused on not freaking out. you weren't jealous, that wasn't the issue, being kept in the dark was the issue. if he just told you from the beginning you two could've joked about it, it would't be a big deal. the lying was a big deal. especially when he tried so hard to keep those details away from you, he was actually capable of being a good liar. that was worrisome.

you don't hear his steps, or the way he leans on the door frame watching you. you only feel his presence when he notices your breathing is calmer, and he lays on the floor by your side, looking up the ceiling, his fingers intertwined on the back of his head.

"every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone." his voice is quiet, sincere, it doesn't ask for your pity, it doesn't make him the victim. it just is. he's just telling you. "sincerely, my love, i just didn't want to upset you... i was—i was scared you would think it was me giving her signs. i was terrified of it, honestly, merlin i—i'm always afraid. there's your truth." you don't reply for an instant, he doesn't move either.

you roll your body closer to him, his arm finds home underneath your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. you feel his heartbeat. his cologne. "such an idiot." he chuckles into your hair, even though he knows you're not joking, you're not trying to lighten the mood. "stop trying to make things right, you don't know what that is." you say finally, your final opinion on the matter. it was true, he had been running away from every conflict, trying to lie his ass out of problems for so long that for him, those were the right choices. the obvious choices.

it stings, the firmness on your voice, but not only he deserves it, he's glad you're still lying on him, your fingers rubbing his chest lightly. you were never afraid to tell him the truth, didn't matter how harsh. and it never hurt him more than he had hurt you by lying. it actually made him love you even more.

he vows silently then, to make things right by you, and with you, to protect you in the same ways you would him. if re-learning what right and wrong would be the thing to avoid hurting you, then he would do that. if learning to be confrontational, to speak his mind... if those were necessary, then he would. he promises to himself only. he keeps that promise.

"stay with me and i swear i won't be afraid anymore."

#THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHH #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin imagine #remus x you #remus x reader #remus x y/n #remus scenario #remus imagine #marauders x reader #marauders x you #marauders x y/n #lari's 100th

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tiannasfanfic · 10 months

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GossipWeb

Eddie Munson x Reader (Angst)

| Eddie Munson & Steddie Masterlist |

Summary: If you want to stay up to date on celebrity gossip, GossipWeb is the site to subscribe to! Monday’s Weekend Roundup for July 17 has an update on Corroded Coffin, and you should totally check it out!

Author Note: Modern Rockstar!Eddie AU. Reader not mentioned in this first part, but will be in future installments so I went ahead and labeled it as an x Reader fic. Written in the style of a gossip column.

CW: Mentions of divorce; mentions of alcoholism and drug addiction; mention of a fistfight.

(The following is an excerpt from the July 17, 2023 edition of The Weekend Roundup, a gossip column posted every Monday afternoon on GossipWeb.com and the GossipWeb app.)

Wedding bells are in the air for model Chrissy Munson and nature photographer David Greggs. The pair have officially announced their engagement on Sunday via social media, confirming recent rumors.

The happy couple shared the news on their respective Instagram accounts, showing photos of the two happily embracing on a beach at sunset. In one, Munson is holding out her hand to show off the huge sapphire and diamond engagement ring now sitting on her finger.

“I said YES!” Munson captioned her photo while Greggs captioned his, “She said YES!”

The pair first made headlines back in 2021, when they were spotted having dinner together just a few weeks after Munson filed for divorce from Corroded Coffin’s frontman, Eddie Munson.

While “Irreconcilable differences” were listed in the official court filing, representatives for both Eddie and Chrissy have declined to comment further on the matter. In the social media post announcing the divorce, Chrissy took a diplomatic path, stating, “Sometimes our plans in life just don’t work out the way we want them to. Unfortunately, this is one of those times. I wish Eddie nothing but the best and wish nothing but happiness for him. While our marriage may be over, he will always hold a special place in my heart.”

But, while her words made it sound like the split was an amicable one, many have their doubts it was that simple.

Rumors had been circulating regarding her ex husband’s hard partying lifestyle for years. Insiders have come forward to provide accounts of escalating drug and alcohol abuse, and extremely irrational and erratic behavior from the rockstar. Shortly after the divorce filing, it was reported to multiple news outlets that an intervention was been staged for Munson just a few days prior to the court filing, but it had failed.

In related news, the former members of Corroded Coffin are continuing to stay busy and are enjoying far more laid back schedules.

Following a highly successful album with their band Fallen Shadows, Jeff Richards and Grant Lee have announced a small, twenty city tour that will occur early next year. While the dates and cities are still to be determined, the two are looking forward to getting back on the road.

“It’s been awhile, but we’re itching to get back out there,” Richards stated in a Facebook post. “There’s nothing like bringing our music out into the world and sharing it in person with the fans.”

But Gareth Emerson hasn’t been so eager to return to the spotlight.

Following a successful stay at the Betty Ford Center, which he entered in December 2019, Emerson says he has done a lot of thinking about his life and who he wants to be, both as a person and an artist.

“The stress I was constantly putting myself under was ultimately my downfall,” he explained in a Facebook post full of self reflection. “And one of the biggest stressors for me was the constant need to promote myself, to sell myself basically. I stopped feeling like a person and started feeling like a piece of meat. In this business, it doesn’t take long before you start getting treated like a machine and you start looking for ways to cope. And, usually, you find yourself coping by turning to drugs. Now I don’t have to just cope because I refuse to put myself back in that stressful position.”

Emerson continues to write and record new music, which he releases on iTunes under his own name. While he’s leaning heavily into experimental sounds, his new style seems to be gravitating towards a blend of classic rock n’ roll, folk and heavy metal. It’s not a combination you would expect to hear from a speed metal drummer, but Emerson clearly has hidden talents he’s only just starting to show the world.

As for the frontman and lead guitarist, Eddie Munson, unfortunately, there’s not much can be said.

The statement from Corroded Coffin announcing their hiatus came in late 2019 just a few days after Munson and Emerson’s very publicized fistfight at the UK Music Video Awards. While he virtually dropped out of the spotlight as a musician in the following months, Munson was frequently in the news due to his excess partying and rowdy behavior.

Then, in 2022, he unexpectedly disappeared from the LA party scene, only to resurface a few months later in his old hometown of Hawkins, Indiana.

Representatives for Munson have declined to comment, so the true reasons for his returning to Hawkins are still unclear. The rocker has yet to make any return trips home to California within the last eighteen months since his departure. This adds credibility to a more recent rumor we reported on last week that Munson is in negotiations to sell his Malibu home to a private seller.

Perhaps the rockstar has finally turned over a new leaf?

Some signs point to yes.

Earlier this year, Gareth Emerson’s wife, actress Kim Simmons-Emerson, sent well wishes to Eddie in a heartfelt Instagram post. She posted an old photo of Munson and Emerson from high school with the caption, “Today marks a new beginning for old friends. We’re so proud of you. We knew you could do it.”

Subscribe to our free newsletter to stay up to date on any new developments!

#eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson series #eddie munson au #eddie munson x chrissy cunningham #eddie munson imagines #rockstar!eddie munson

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inner-viper · 5 months

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How to read tarot cards- Inner Viper

Hello, I have been getting a lot of messages regarding how I read tarot. I have not been ignoring those messages but I wanted to answer this in a post rather than explaining it through DMs/Ask. Reading tarot is more simple than you think it is! Whatever you think “reading” the cards is, throw it out the window.

Remember to knock on the deck, blow it away, and begin shuffling. There are different methods to cleanse the deck. You should cleanse with incense if you can but you can also use a bell to cleanse it. This will provide a clean energy state of the deck, therefore the deck won’t be influenced by “negative” energy. Technically, you are just refreshing the deck's energy and pouring your energy into it. Once you call on the spirits, they will also pour their own energy into you and then that energy reaches the deck.

Now, when you ask a generic question, for example, say “What traits does my FS like about me?”. This question will give me the answer that I am looking for. Sometimes you need to specify the question better in order to get more accurate and in-depth responses. There are times when you could simply be asking the wrong questions and you will get the “wrong” answer, thus the answer is not what you are looking for. It is about defining the problem and understanding what it is you are truly asking.

Let’s begin with a basic three-card layout. Example: “What does my FS like about me?”

The cards: Knight of Cups, The Lovers, and The Tower

When I see these cards I usually get intuitive messages because of mediumship, the more you practice tarot the more “psychic” you become. It is like working out a muscle, you need to continue lifting weights and increasing the amounts steadily in order to get better at it. Every little thing matters when it comes to being intuitive.

If I start to feel aroused, and my body becomes warmer. Then, I start to get random images of sex positions in my head. Then, I could conclude that this is what my FS likes about me. What do you feel the general energy during your reading? You should evaluate what you are picking up on. I would say the general energy would be fun, romantic, emotional, and a bit chaotic. This is also reflected on the cards itself.

Now, for the cards itself. You can read them by looking at the images and interpreting them as well. The knight of cups is charging into the lovers and then it is met by the tower. This could indicate how they like how I offer emotional support with love, only to then turn my advice and nurture to myself. Causing a revelation, a deconstruction of myself. This only happens after I meet with them, whence the tower. In the tower, there are two people falling off the tower. This could be interpreted as me and my FS having revelations of where we need to destroy preconceived notions from poor foundational buildings.

Then, you will read what the cards mean. We did technically read the cards by interpreting the images. This sometimes doesn’t work when we are reading certain decks. The meaning behind each card can be read but remember your intuition is key here alongside discernment.

I will be using Wikipedia as a source but typically you should have a handbook that comes with your deck.

Knight of Cups- Divination usage If the card is upright, it represents change and new excitements, particularly of a romantic nature. It can mean invitations, opportunities, and offers. The knight of cups is a person who is a bringer of ideas, opportunities and offers. He is constantly bored, and in constant need of stimulation, but also artistic and refined. He represents a person who is amiable, intelligent, and full of high principles, but a dreamer who can be easily persuaded or discouraged.

Reversed, the card represents unreliability and recklessness. It indicates fraud, false promises and trickery. It represents a person who has trouble discerning when and where the truth ends and lies begin. Interpretation According to A.E. Waite's 1910 book Pictorial Key to the Tarot, the Lovers card carries several divinatory associations:[1]

THE LOVERS—Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome. Reversed: Failure, foolish designs. Another account speaks of marriage frustrated and contrarieties of all kinds.

The Tower-Symbolism The Tower is widely associated to danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation.[6] In the Rider–Waite deck, the top of The Tower is a crown, which symbolizes materialistic thought being bought cheap, downcast We can read through the meanings of the card and interpret exactly what it means with the use of intuition. If it resonates then it is for you, if it doesn’t then it is not for you. This does not mean that you can ignore the “negative” interpretations of the deck. It just means that you will need to use your intuition to see how this applies to your reading. In this case, the tower was not “negative” but it did indicate chaos. Referring back to Wikipedia, there are keywords such as “sudden change”, “higher learning”, and “liberation”. These keywords are not “negative” but rather “positive” in this reading.

Now, notice how we connected all of this. There is no disconnection with the tarot cards. Sometimes we can struggle with connecting the cards in the spread but that’s why you can always do different spreads to help you.

If you don’t understand the answer then reshuffle the deck and ask again.

Reversed cards do not always indicate "opposite meanings" it can represent a blockage. An excess amount of energy, a lack of energy, and etc. Use your intuition to guide you and only implement reversals when you feel comfortable doing so. For example, If I get the king of wands in reverse, the meaning could be I am overcontrolling, a masculine figure in my life is overcontrolling. There is a situation where I am keeping my creative energy locked. Sometimes it could mean, bottling emotions until you explode. These are all different meanings and I would use my intuition to pick up on what is correct.

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ut-poppy-askblog · 7 months

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Okay, what is Poppy?

Throughout the Omega Timeline: Poppy's Story AU, I've realized that, beyond Poppy's origin, and her acquiring her SOUL, I've never truly delved into what Poppy is exactly. Though her """species""" is generously described as a "Ostensibly, Paper Human", that's not really true. Paper Frisk is unquestionably a paper human, so really, Poppy's true nature hasn't really been explained up until now. Though 4 years late, I've written up an entire post going over some things I've jotted down over the years of how she works.

Any addendums I may make will be listed at the bottom of the page.

What species is she?

I don't know

What is she, then?

(as seen in the Poppy's Origin comic)

Poppy was originally a drawing by a Chara, brought to life by Ink Frisk- whose magic specializes in bringing things to life through art. Though useful in a pinch, they would have never expected something like Poppy to come out of it. In this form, Poppy was essentially moving through the motions, doing as told. Though having some semblance of understanding of what was told to her, she lacked any means of communicating it.

Of course, this wasn't going to last forever, even if Core fed her magic food, the spell would eventually run its course. Thus, they resorted to one of the recently-rescued scientists: (a) W.D. Gaster. But everyone calls him Fling Ding.

(as seen in The Quality of You)

Through Fling Ding's efforts, Poppy was given an artificial SOUL, and was thus born anew. The SOUL inherited all of the body's thoughts and loose memories, and has thus become what Poppy is. This generally implies that Poppy IS the soul, that pilots a paper body. ... But, of course, it's a bit more complicated like that.

How is she 3D, if she's made out of paper?

(Core doesn't naturally have magic, they have to pull it out of a jar every time..)

This is achieved through an obscure spell that Core's learned of through their eternal omnipresence. This spell provides Poppy with all the perks of 3D. Though, of course, it also takes magic to uphold.

When young, Poppy would often be tired from attempting to uphold this spell. When she fell asleep, she would do so as 2D, then core would have to cast the spell at her in the morning. As years went by and her SOUL grew stronger however, she's rarely ever seen in 2D, even when sleeping.

Not to say she doesn't have days where she simply... Can't turn 3D at all. But they're few and far between. As long as she eats healthily, and has a good sleep schedule, it usually doesn't happen.

What does she eat?

Her diet consists of magic food, mostly. Given she does not have any digestive system, any physical food she may try to eat, sort of... Lounges in her mouth until she spits it out. She can taste it, but no one likes to chew on food for longer than needed. She also drinks regular water and whatnot.

Wait, but is she waterproof? Is water going to kill her? How can she drink?

I've pondered myself this many times. But, ultimately, I feel like Core wouldn't just... make her live a life where she is constantly afraid of the weather, or even washing dishes. So I believe she has some waterproof magic going on.

As for how drinking water or any non-magic liquid works for her, I'm not sure. Maybe her body just, naturally fizzles out the water with the magic.

Okay, how does she grow up?

Very good question! Poppy's bodies are drawings on paper after all. You would think that maybe, the body magically ages up. But, at least for this Poppy, it doesn't work like that.

Poppy's bodies are custom-drawn by the Chara who drew her originally (who doesn't really ask why core would need a life-size drawing of their character, they pay very good money) at every stage of her life. And it's not just one body per stage, no. Poppy is a slightly reckless person, so she's had her fair share of accidentally hurting herself.

So now to the gut of the question, how does she go from body to body? It's a fairly simple task, actually!

Whenever she jumps on a similar looking body, the process is quite seamless, but when she jumps onto a taller body— or, really, a body that's drastically different than her current one, it takes some readjusting.

"So that's not my left arm..."

However, after some time adjusting, she's up and ready to go again.

As for what happens with the previous bodies, however...

Core keeps them safely stored somewhere unknown.

Wait, hold on, could she possess any drawing? Even something baseless and meaningless like a scribble?

She could. But it's not exactly pleasant for her. It's like trying to steer a car that's a block of wood. But yes, besides those types of drawings, she could feasibly look like anyone or anything given enough time. Her voice would be a dead giveaway however.

How can she change clothes? Or cut her hair without damaging the paper? How can she speak without vocal cords? How can her body know what's under the clothes when it's drawn with clothes?

Magic. ... Honestly, magic. I just don't have a better explanation. But I would imagine that if, for example, you tried to cut her hair in 2D, that would lead to less-than-desirable results.

How much does she feel? Does she see the world differently?

Another excellent question, hypothetical reader. As I had written it originally in the askblog, I sort of liked the idea that Poppy had a very limited perception of the world. She couldn't feel anything touching or burning her, she could barely taste, she could barely smell. And she can hardly be aware of anything outside of her view (she doesn't have the gut feeling of feeling she has intimidating people next to her, for instance).

But with Core teaching her that everyone's not always as bad as they seem (especially with her found family choices), it's not like this last aspect has changed much.

But, as years went by, I had a very different idea. What I've said would remain true... through more or less the first few months or so of Poppy being in a new body. As her SOUL attuned to the body, she would slowly build more human-esque senses. And perhaps even more human characteristics as well such as sweating. These being rooted in Poppy's understanding of humans... so, mostly Dusted, Core, and Mon for a good while.

As for eyesight, I've had the idea she does see things different than you and I, but I'm just not sure how to convey it through drawing or writing, so it's generally remained shelved for the time being.

... And that's all she wrote! If anything needs adding, it will be done under this. For now, consider yourself a Poppy-ologist.

#undertale #undertale au #undertale oc #ot poppy story #ask poppy 2 #poppy birthday #bio #core frisk #dusted frisk #rust #ot cadence #gaster #chara #frisk #ink frisk #artist chara...?#not like i ever figured out a name for them

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batwynn · 10 months

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Some examples of stims I did while growing up until I was forced to stop each one by an adult in my life:

Humming/whistling

Copying bird whistles

Chewing on my hair

Chewing on pens/pen caps/pencils/etc.

Matching a sound from around me

Repeating words/phrases frequently

Making ‘weird’ sounds with my mouth

Tapping something/tapping a finger or foot

Singing what I was doing

Blinking in patterns

Constant doodling

And undoubtably more that I don’t even remember.

The result of being forced to stop stimming no matter what stim I tried:

Constantly anxious. Constantly.

I started picking at my skin and pulling out my hair.

More outbursts and/or more shut downs.

I formed a stutter under even the smallest amount of stress.

I became less social. Didn’t talk as much. Didn’t feel comfortable communicating to anyone.

I was markedly less happy.

Restless and unable to focus because stimming helped me work with my ADHD side as well.

Confusion, hurt, and isolation because I was then aware that I was ‘weird’.

I formed a huge distrust of adults around me, including family. Which lead to me getting in trouble for not ‘respecting authority’. (Aka: I asked questions and didn’t take what everyone said as a fact.)

I developed depression.

Oh, and I was still bullied for being ‘weird’ so stopping stimming didn’t even help that. Surprise!

Eventual outcome as an autistic adult:

Constant anxiety that I often can’t source and don’t know how to sooth anymore.

No self soothing techniques work or feel ‘natural’ anymore.

I lean heavily on disassociation to get through the day and/or during stressful moments.

I’m accused of faking it, lying, etc. by people because I learned to mask my autistic traits as best as possible.

Frequently don’t have the language for when I’m overwhelmed, and frequently misunderstood when I try to explain that something is bothering me like fabric texture or sounds.

Treated like I’m incompetent, a child, or a collection of both if I don’t behave ‘perfectly’.

Talked down to a lot.

Still picking at my skin and pulling out my hair. 🥲

Constantly feel like I’m lying about who I am/ frequent identity crisis and impostor syndrome mix up.

Trouble with relationships/friendships to different extremes. (Ex: I was groomed as a kid/teen and didn’t know until I was in my late 20s. Have trouble keeping friendships because I just don’t know how to interact with people the ‘right way’.)

I had to teach myself a lot of ‘regular’ social cues and behaviors by mimicking people around me. That unfortunately doesn’t alway work, and/or comes with accidentally mimicking a personality trait/quark/etc. which leads to people thinking your mocking them or copying them.

A lot of rage for the people who treated me like shit my entire life for being autistic.

Moments of feeling very small and childish when things are out of my control.

Feeling guilty/uncomfortable about some things I like because they’re considered childish. (Ex: stuffed animals.)

Fear of any and all interactions with strangers. Fear of not being able to predict where the conversation will go. Fear of extreme negative reactions even when it doesn’t seem realistic for that to happen.

And more that are so ingrained in my life that I don’t even recognize them anymore.

I can’t not think about how my life could have turned out if those adults had let me be comfortably autistic. I can literally see physical differences in old photos of me, where I just stopped being me. Where the happiness and honesty were bullied out of me. And were my stims and behaviors that bothersome? No, actually. I had already learned to do different stims in different environments so I wasn’t being noisy when I needed to be quiet etc. But that wasn’t good enough, so every stim and every ‘weird’ behavior had to stop. Why? Because these adults had a power over me and other children like me, and they liked to abuse it.

It’s abuse. The end.

#autistic stimming #being autistic #ADHD #actually autistic #actually adhd #TW: abuse #tw: grooming #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: ableism #tw: skin picking #tw: hair pulling #long post

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sexyandhedonistic · 1 year

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Neville Goddard lecture summaries

⚜️⋮ No One to Change but Self

⚜️ If ye believe not that I am He, ye shall die in your sins.

Enlightened reason is not enslaved by public opinion. It is only concerned with the truth so it asks itself another question, "But whom say ye that I am?" In other words, "Who am I?" If I am bold enough to assume that I am Christ Jesus, the answer will come back, "Thou are Christ Jesus."

Enlightened reason: reason based on that universal truth, your assumptions.

Public opinion: 3D circumstances

Your conception of self is not dependent on anything outside of you. The assumptions you accepted as universal truths, or facts, are not to be suppressed by your circumstances in the third dimension. You get to decide who you are and what your assumptions of the world around you look like, you declare yourself to be whoever it is you would like to be. If you ask yourself, “Who am I?”, only you can conceptualize the answer to that question. Jesus symbolizes infinite potential, so if you are Jesus Christ, you can be anything you want to be when you neglect what you previously deemed a universal truth (fact).

"If ye believe not that I am He, ye shall die in your sins." John 8:24

To die in your sins means to remain trapped in the old story. If you refuse to accept that you are who you desire to be, if you fail to assume you are in consciousness, then you remain as you are and you die imprisoned in that limitation.

⚜️ I am the cause of all that happens to me.

I may not like what I have just heard, that I must turn to my own consciousness as the only reality, the only foundation on which all phenomena can be explained. It was easier living when I could blame another. It was much easier living when I could blame society for my ills, or point a finger across the sea. and blame another nation. It was easier living when I could blame the weather for the way I feel. But to tell me that I am the cause of all that happens to me that I am forever molding my world in harmony with my inner nature, that is more than man is willing to accept. If this is true, to whom would I go? If these are the words of eternal life, I must return to them, even though they seem so difficult to digest. When man fully understands this, he knows that public opinion does not matter, for men only tell him who he is. The behavior of men constantly tell me who I have conceived myself to be.

Accepting oneself to be the cause of all that has happened can be a difficult idea to digest and while it may feel like it imposes blame upon oneself for all that has happened, it actually proposes the beauty of control and the knowledge of the fact that we are above the circumstance rather than the other way around. Instead of allowing yourself to be rendered a victim to your unfavorable circumstances, you acknowledge yourself as the sole cause, the originator of all. When you step into the acceptance of this fact, it becomes substantially less daunting to feel like the world is against you, because the world is you. As Neville says himself, this is not something everyone will be comfortable with or even willing to accept. Since you are the cause of all, it is truly empowering to know that if you were the cause of the unfavorable, then you can also be the cause of the favorable. You do not need to continue to live in a world that is operating by/with/from your negative assumptions about it. You have the power within to change it.

It is far better to know this than to know anything else in the world. It takes courage, boundless courage, because many this night, after having heard this truth will still be inclined to blame others for their predicament. Man finds it so difficult to turn to himself, to his own consciousness as to the only reality.

⚜️ The son of perdition - the belief in loss

It is impossible for anything to be lost. In this divine economy nothing can be lost, it cannot even pass away. The little flower which has bloomed once, blooms forever. It is invisible to you here with your limited focus, but it blooms forever in the larger dimension of your being, and tomorrow you will encounter it… The son of perdition means simply the belief in loss. Son is a concept, an idea. Perdido is loss. I have only truly lost the concept of loss, for nothing can be lost. I can descend from the sphere where the thing itself now lives, and as I descend in consciousness to a lower level within myself it passes from my world. I say, "I have lost my health. I have lost my wealth. I have lost my standing in the community. I have lost faith. I have lost a thousand things." But the things in themselves, having once been real in my world, can never cease to be. They never become unreal with the passage of time.

It doesn’t matter if you are poor, hopeless and ill, no circumstance is ever set in stone. You can never truly lose your capacity to rise from what you don’t want and turn to consciousness to claim that which you desire to be. All exists and all will continue to exist. A descent in consciousness refers to becoming conscious of something you don’t want. Although you may be conscious at the moment of something undesirable, all it takes for you to reclaim what you once had is to simply rise to the level of consciousness of you having it once more. When you ascend to a higher level of consciousness, you seek a desirable state.

⚜️ You always bear fruit in harmony with what you are.

You always bear fruit in harmony with what you are. It is the most natural thing in the world for a pear tree to bear pears, an apple tree to bear apples, and for man to mold the circumstances of his life in harmony with his inner nature… All I need do to change the fruit is to change the vine. You have no life in my world save that I am conscious of you. You are rooted in me and, like fruit, you bear witness of the vine that I am. There is no reality in the world other than your consciousness. Although you may now seem to be what you do not want to be, all you need do to change it, and to prove the change by circumstances in your world, is to quietly assume that you are that which you now want to be, and in a way you do not know you will become it.

The fruit: 3D circumstances

The vine: your self concept

Your consciousness, what you are aware of and currently accepting as a fact, will always follow your conception of self. If you want to change what you experience, you change your self concept.

Since the fruit stems from the vine, how do you change your world? By first changing your conception of self. What are you conscious of being? The circumstances in your life will answer that question.

⚜️ Your consciousness is the only true foundation in the world.

If I can deny the limitations of my birth, my environment, and the belief that I am but an extension of my family tree, and feel within myself that I am Christ, and sustain this assumption until it takes a central place and forms the habitual center of my energy, I will do the works attributed to Jesus… Any enlargement of our concept of Self involves a somewhat painful parting with strongly rooted hereditary conceptions. The ligaments are strong that hold us in the womb of conventional limitations.

You are above the assumptions and limitations you have been confined to your whole life. Everything you once accepted to be true ceases to be true once you realize that you cannot turn to anyone or anything outside of you. You will forever fail to find something or someone to blame your problems on because you will always be both the cause and the solution. There is no other God because God is your own consciousness. All that you need in order to beautify your world is to see yourself as beautiful.

⚜️ As within, so without.

No clear conception of the origin of phenomena is possible except that consciousness is all and all is consciousness. Nothing can be evolved from man that was not potentially involved in his nature. The ideal we serve and hope to attain could never be evolved from us were it not potentially involved in our nature… It is thus to our own consciousness that we must turn as to the only reality, the only foundation on which all phenomena can be explained. We can rely absolutely on the justice of this law to give us only that which is of the nature of ourselves. To attempt to change the world before we change our concept of ourselves is to struggle against the nature of things. There can be no outer change until there is first an inner change. Everything we do, unaccompanied by a change of consciousness, is but futile readjustment of surfaces.

The circumstances of my life are too closely related to my conception of myself not to have been formed by my own spirit from some dimensionally larger storehouse of my being. If there is pain to me in these happenings, I should look within myself for the cause, for I am moved here and there and made to live in a world in harmony with my concept of myself.

⚜️ To the pure all things are pure.

No matter what is brought before the presence of beauty, it sees only beauty. Jesus was so completely identified with the lovely that He was incapable of seeing the unlovely… Heretofore I thought I could change others through effort. Now I know I cannot change another unless I first change myself. To change another within my world I must first change my concept of that other; and to do it best I change my concept of self. For it was the concept I held of self that made me see others as I did. Had I a noble, dignified concept of myself, I never could have seen the unlovely in others. I need change no man, I sanctify myself and in so doing I sanctify others. All you need do to make men and women holy in this world is to make yourself holy. You are incapable of seeing anything that is unlovely when you establish within your own mind's eye the fact that you are lovely.

The condition of your self concept will dictate how you see the people, the world and circumstances as either good or bad, clean or unclean. People serve as messengers of your self concept, through their behavior towards you they will indicate who you are to yourself. If you desire for someone to be other than what they currently are, you must first change your conception of self and be what you would like for them to be. When you change yourself, you change others. Through consciousness, your I AMness, is how you enrich your world, there is no other way.

You will change the world only when you become the embodiment of that which you want the world to be. You have but one gift in this world that is truly yours to give and that is yourself. Unless you yourself are that which you want the world to be, you will never see it in this world. "Except ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins." John 8:24

⚜️ Jesus and the colt.

It is recorded that Jesus told his disciples to go to the crossroads and there they would find a colt, a young colt not yet ridden by a man. To bring the colt to him and if any man ask, "Why do you take this colt?" say, "The Lord has need of it." They went to the crossroads and found the colt and did exactly as they were told. They brought the unbridled ass to Jesus and He rode it triumphantly into Jerusalem.

In the story, you are Jesus and the colt symbolizes the mood you intend to assume. Colts, much like a feeling that is new to you, is difficult to grasp unless you are disciplined and persistent. In order to be loyal to an assumption you must be balanced, so if you look around and check to determine whether or not it is done, you will be knocked off the colt. However, if you decide to be disciplined and remain faithful to the mood with a fixed attitude of mind, feeling that it is done, you will triumph.

⚜️ If you look for excuses for failure you will always find them.

Man is always looking for some prop on which to lean. He is always looking for some excuse to justify failure. This revelation gives man no excuse for failure. His concept of himself is the cause of all the circumstances of his life. All changes must first come from within himself; and if he does not change on the outside it is because he has not changed within. But man does not like to feel that he is solely responsible for the conditions of his life.

You cannot blame another thing or another person for your own failure. As much as you may be compelled to find another outside of you to shift your blame to for comfort's sake, you cannot escape yourself, because the whole vast world is yourself pushed out.

"There is no one to change but self; that self is simply your awareness, your consciousness and the world in which it lives is determined by the concept you hold of self. It is to consciousness that we must turn as to the only reality. For there is no clear conception of the origin of phenomena except that consciousness is all and all is consciousness.

#lecture summaries

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peachkkuma · 6 days

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📓. DIARY ENTRY 08 ︴MAY 18, 2024

dear loass diary…

I’d say I’m pretty close to the end of my manifestation journey knowledge wise, Id say there’s very little I haven’t learned. The only thing there is is for me to then guide myself and not rely on the knowledge of others, which I’ve been pretty good at lately. Which means there’s literally no excuse, I know how the law works and I’m confident that I know how the law works. So why am I not manifesting what I want? I feel like there’s this resistance. I’ve figured things out and set things straight, there’s no confusions anymore. So why can’t I actually apply my knowledge? Especially when I was most excited to have my desires around this time of year? I’ve been wondering that these past couple of days after I caught on to my resistance to even begin the manifestation “process” and I think that right there is a reason all on its own. I see manifestation as a processes for some reason even though I understand that it’s not. We’re not manifesting or creating anything new, we’re just becoming different versions of ourselves. It’s not a process since we embody those versions instantly. So why do I see it as something tiresome, why do I see it as pretending, as unnatural? Its like part of me thinks happiness is beyond me (or behind me, is more accurate) so to embody a version of me that is incredibly happy would be nothing but pretending. I think I’m too used to being this down in the dumps kinda person, to the point where it’s holding me back from being something more, something I want to be. It feels weird to be like “haha everything is perfect” and then not have feelings, real and genuine feelings, to match that. But I rlly don’t know how to embody it, I can explain it on paper but enacting it is something different. Maybe I’m just not used to it? Maybe I’m coming at it from a way that stems from desperation and force? I mean to be fair, whenever I felt like I wanted to become my desired self it was always when I was desperate to know if things were going to be okay so I’d force it. Another idea that crossed my mind was maybe it’s burn out? I mean I’d been actively consuming the law for almost 3 years and as my knowledge has grown, I’ve been learning everything and anything 24/7 for the past 9 months. My knowledge has grown and become stronger, stronger than its ever been but maybe now I’m just so tired. I’m tired of constantly feeling like I don’t have something and I need to get something, and those feelings have been tied to manifestation. Literally the other day I was like “ugh I know I need it and that I wanted it but like I kinda want nothing to do with it rn” in regards to my dream life I’ve been manifesting. My life has been constantly revolving around manifestation, what I lacked, and what I wanted and now that I know I’m near the end, that I can basically taste the finish line, I’ve burnt out. I don’t want anything anymore. I just want to feel like things are okay, in imagination, in the 3D. I don’t want a “mental diet” or to visualize anymore, I don’t want to keep reminding myself to see things from the eyes of my desired self. Maybe the thing I actually need to learn is how to let those things come naturally, how to not feel stressed out or desperate when manifesting. And I suppose I could jist decide that it’s easy, that I’ve already become the desire version of myself. I just feel like It’s all a chore rn. Even tho manifestation is supposed to be enjoyable. Someone make a wikihow for how to recover from manifestation burn out.

kisses, peachkkuma

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chazzielynx · 3 months

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Assigning Sleep Token Songs to Redacted Characters.

Hashtag is this too niche, lmao.

Characters in this post: Brachium, Geordi, Vincent, Avior, James, Blake, Hush, Regulus, Anton, Sam, Milo

Note: I am mainly using their latest album. All of these are just my opinions.

TW: Vincent's one briefly mentions self harm. Also Sleep Token is the opposite of angst free so read with caution.

Brachium - Chokehold (this bitch is getting angrier and angrier and I am heeere for it. "We act out of our holy duty to be constantly awake" GRAA)

Geordi - Granite (now I'm not here to hate on Cutie. But this song screams Geordi to Cutie. But specifically "so keep an eye on the road or we will both be here forever"?!?! Crying, sobbing)

Gavin - DYWTYLM (Early Gavin in particular. I feel like he truly thought they were only fond of his sexual favors in the beginning. So this is him questioning everything "it's getting harder to be myself" yeah. Yeeeeah)

Avior - Take Me Back To Eden (there are so many lines I could use here like fr. But I'd say this is mostly his anger about being stuck in that hellscape "I don't know what's got its teeth in me but I'm about to bite back in anger" I have his "what mindless force of nature" speech memorised at this point lmao)

Vincent - Are you really okay? (Now this might be projecting, but I feel like Lovely struggled more with all of what they went through than we might know. And Vincent so desperate to help but doesn't know how "cutting deeper than the scars could run" why do I do this to myself)

Porter - The Summoning (we only really know his sassy and his sexual side so far. This song screams dom-masochist. "You've got my body, flesh and bone, the sky above, the earth below"...need I say more)

Blake - Vore (this whole song screams hehe get it cause it's a heavy screaming song anyway seer wanting to devote his life to change their lover's fate: "there is always sth in the way I wanna have you to myself for once" Change my mind.)

James - Aqua Regia (now this is purely based off of vibes GIVE ME MY HUSBAND BACK ahem but I feel like this man would use fancy science words to explain his love. Also "running to your heart when you're thinking of" AHH)

Hush - Rain (this man needed one hug from Doc and he felt better. LIKE SIR "touch me again, I feel my shadow dissolving" whole song feels like him)

Ivan - Ascensionism (I feel like I could write an essay on how this describes Sadism Hold Ivan. But to demonstrate: "half algorithm, half deity" = Vega, "blood stains on the collar means just don't ask" = Baby, "you want someone to be your reflection" = Ivan)

Regulus - The Apparition (now, this is a little bit of a shot in the dark because except for last year's Halloween audio, I haven't listened to his playlist yet. But based on vibes, this seems to match. Don't come for me)

Anton - Euclid (little bit of a stretch mayhaps but this could be Anton away from his partner "call me when you get the chance, I can feel the walls around me closing in" and a lot more angsty lines)

Bonus Songs (because I love them)

Sam - Blood Sport (specifically this is Darlin in the beginning of their relationship, feeling like they're just dragging Sam into their bloody trauma "Even if [...] the heavens just won't open up for me, would you invite me in again?" Hmm)

Milo - Drag Me Under Again (now technically this is such an Avior song, like hello. But this feisty werewolf is in awe with his partner to this day. And he may not call himself a poet but this mf literally said "you feel like forever in my arms" HELLO SIR. So the admiration in this song fits)

#i definitely have a problem #redactedaudio #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted #redactedverse #sleep token

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mulderscully · 6 months

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okay whatever i'm high and oversharing, so i am once again thinking about whether closure is something worth pursuing with my ex best friend.

brief summary. ex bestie was always prettier and more popular than me. she is a huge extrovert while i'm an introvert, you know the deal whatever. so somehow we're best friends in 6th grade. like idk in a few months i would've walked over hot coals for this girl. did i have a gay crush on her? i truly do not know. i think abt is constantly and i have no idea! but her love and approval was like... i NEEDED it.

then after a while she would get annoyed with me and drop me as a friend entirely. for months. no contact, nothing. then she'd tell people i was up her ass etc while we weren't friends.

then, she'd come back. she'd start talking to me like nothing happened and i'd come crawling back to her with open arms every damn time.

this went on for YEARS. months of promises to be maids of honor and friends til we die and sleepovers and laughing til we couldn't breathe. then she'd drop me. suddenly and entirely. this went on til the summer my mom died sophmore year.

those last 3 months my mom was alive we were not talking because she was mad at me for god knows what knowing my mom is ACTIVELY DYING. then the night my mom died she was the first person i called and she just immediately knew and RAN over to my house for like the first time ever. and she stayed with me all night and we became friends again.

then she never dropped me again. she went off to college and i stayed at home working and she'd call me every night, she'd come visit me, i would visit her. FOR FOUR YEARS. the longest we ever went.

then she went to grad school in miami and i cried the entire day she moved bc i knew she would never come back. this was her dream and she got it. and she asked me to come with her. for free. i said no, okay. i said no.

then we stopped talking. not a dropped thing just. she got a girlfriend and a busy job and it was just natural. but it hurt to call her and feel like i didn't know this person anymore, esp with how our friendship started and i started getting freaked out tbh.

so one december. i think 2018? i can't even remember! she comes to visit for christmas. we make plans for dinner and i made reservations and like. i'm literally at the restaurant when she texts me that she can't come bc she's too exhausted. and i just immediately started crying and left and decided i would never talk to her again.

and i only really believed that when i checked insta that night and she was out partying instead of with me.

and i was like i'm never talking to her again.

and i never have.

she texts me. says happy birthday. tells me she misses me.

but... i can't talk to her now. because i miss her so much and i hate her so much and i hate that she doesn't even KNOW i'm mad and i'm mad because i feel like she SHOULD KNOW. she should be sorry for EVERYTHING and she just is completely unaware and i don't know if that's unfair or not.

she invited me to her 30th bash in miami this december and i'm like so you still know i exist. what am i to you? did i ever matter to you as you did to me? why did you walk all over me and why did i LET you?

i just so badly want to ask her these things and still never talk to her. but i know... idk she makes me weak in a way i can't even explain to myself so idk if closure is possible or worth pursuing. but if i truly never talk to her again, it'll plague me til the end of my days that i didn't try? god i don't know.

broken hearts on christmas are 0/10 bc it comes back every year

#personal.

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lostmyremembrall · 1 year

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congrats on your 1k because you totally deserve it <33

for the 1k even thing i'd like to request 🐍 if its not too much of bother!

soo my love languages are mainly physical touch and words of affirmation as i get very affectionate when im really comfortable ^^ though most of the time in public i look or act grumpy without noticing😭 its just my resting face i guess?? im quiet and i dislike socializing with most people, most of the time im just off into my own world. i need words of affirmation and proof of someone's appreciation or love for me, or else i probably wont believe it. i always look a bit messy, even when i try to look presentable

🐍 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐂 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐦

𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝐽𝑜𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 1𝐾 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡!

Thank you so much for your kind words! And of course, it's not a bother! I'm loving these requests and I'm so enjoying writing these, including yours!

Hope you enjoy!

He was drawn to the air of mystery and defiance that you exuded. He perceived you to be someone who is headstrong, and honest with themselves, rather than constantly putting on a placating smile.

Which was why Tom was somewhat surprised by how loving and affectionate once he got to know you.

And now Tom is obsessed with your smile. Especially because he may not get to see that as often in public, he feels that your smile is special, like it's reserved for him.

Whether you're talking animatedly about something, smiling, or off in your own world, you often notice him staring at you with a mixture of curious observation and obsessive adoration.

You may think your appearance looks messy, but Tom simply adores you however you look. Sometimes burying his face into your hair, your sweater, or the crook of your neck.

---

Physical touch comes naturally to him.

Whether it be finding your hand in mid-air as you two walk together.

Wrapping his arm around your back and pulling you closer to him as you study next to each other in the library.

When he's stressed, or simply just because he wants to, he would pull your hand to stop you in the middle of the corridor. And while everyone's passing by, shooting curious glances, he'd pull you into a quiet embrace.

---

Tom did not grow up witnessing compliments and verbal affirmations (orphanage employees barely had time for those), so he is not used to giving compliments.

When you brought it up, Tom was genuinely shocked that you did not feel loved.

"I thought you knew," Tom was flabbergasted. From how much he feels for you, he thinks it's impossible for anyone to love more fiercely than how he loves you.

It has never occurred to Tom that you didn't feel loved because of how much he adores you.

You explained the concept of love languages and the communication of love differs from how much one feels for the other.

---

Ever since then, Tom has been attempting more verbal affirmations.

He would get embarrassed about it.

His cheeks turning red and mumbling something about how you looked radiant in the morning sun. He couldn't even meet your eyes.

Things started to change when he opted for a different strategy where he'd pass you notes and leave you notes around your dorm.

Apparently, it was easier to verbalise how he felt through writing.

It was then that you found your boyfriend to be a hopeless romantic and a poet.

You awoke to a torn-out paper placed on your bedside table. "Good morning sleeping beauty. While writing this, I had to restrain myself from kissing you so as to not disturb your sleep."

A line of elegant handwriting that appeared on your note during Charms class. "Your eyes shimmer in the most enigmatic way when you gaze at the sky."

Which caused you to blush, noticing Tom who's been staring at you as you daydreamed.

"I would do anything to take a peek into that wonderful mind of yours."

Another line appeared and dissolved into the paper. You turned your head towards him again and found his lips pull into a subtle, soft smile.

It was special, this moment that only you two shared together in a class full of people.

You two may be different and have to adjust things, but Tom is willing to change and learn anything if it means making you smile and blush the way you do.

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