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ajaxwfe · 1 month

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They were too late to get you back.

Warnings: mention of death, arguments, angst with no happy ending, neglected reader, jealousy.

Diluc x reader, Alhaitham x reader

"Never got the chance to apologize.."

DİLUC

Diluc and you were not the type of people who would fight often, been a relationship with him almost 4 years. Sure, everything is going well.

Well... it was going well. For the past 1 year everything changed for you and him. He barely came home, interact with you, ignoring you most of the time... and kept arguing, fighting over small things.

You never opened your mouth or fight back, you loved diluc so much that it was starting to hurt. Your shared room started to feel cold, no more morning kisses or hugs before diluc went to work, cold breakfasts and dinner all by yourself. Even if he did join the diner he would be quiet all the time, not even looking at you.

You did kept your mouth shut, holding for a hope... a hope for your future with him. Until you heard the conversation with Jean. The last knife that would break you.

"She's so useless, I cant keep up with her annoying presence all the time. All she do is stay at home and distract me from work... she keeps finding noneless things to argue with me. I just want to break the ties with her already, being with her is so tiring."

"Am I... that bad?" Who knew your dear lover was thinking of you like this for the past 1 year. All you wanted was too be like the past relationship you both had. Warm bed, morning kisses, happy breakfast and dates. Covering your mouth trying not to make any sound you left there sobbing quietly.

You did everything, I mean really everything. That all arguing was really nothing for him? You just asked for him to stay by yourside for more. You were slowly draining from inside, you had no one but diluc. Only his presence was keeping you sane but this cold mansion was making you crazy.

You returned back to the mansion, you had enough. Talking with him would go nowhere after all. You wanted his attention, you wanted him to see your worth. Going to the storage room picking up the sword once you held before moving in with your so called lover. Taking a mission from katheryne, you walked to the lawachurls camp.

You were going to show him that you are still worth for something, that you could help him with everything if he asked for it. Even if it meant death. Standing in front of the big creature holding your sword tightly you ran towards to it.

..Oh how wrong you were, thinking you could defeat that monster. Laying on a pool of blood coming from your head. Suddenly feeling peacefull for the first time after 1 year of suffering from neglect. Looking at the shining stars above you. Your head ringing from aches, sword a meter away. Faint screaming noises from back. You couldn't bother to look that way.

"Please..." a faint voice big hands caressing your cheek, weird it wasnt raining but you could feel wetness on your cheeks. Turning your eyes to the voice. Hands wiping away your blood.

"Diluc.." your throat dry, coughing the blood. Your beloved, your future. How could you hate him when he was the only one left in your life? İs this really how you were going to die? As a pathetic advanturer? Few tears sliding from your face as your blurry vision tried to capture every beauty on his face.

"Jean is coming here so... please... please dont leave me now..I wont neglect you anymore...I will beg on my knees once you recover... so dont leave me here all alone.." Ah... was he also holding a hope on his hands too? A future would be great with him. Your eyelids feeling heavy, heart beating slowly as the seconds passing, his voice becoming more and more faint.

"Sleep...Can I sleep in your arms?" Your head falling to his chest, inhaling the scent for the last time you missed for so long. Diluc holding your cold body close to him, screaming and crying cursing to the celestia as you drift away from him.

Alhaitham

Alhaitham was no bad guy, I mean if it is you, he actually is willing to do anything for you. He is sure workaholic, but you guys were making sure spending time.

You met him in akademiya when you guys were like 18-19. İt wasnt a love in first sight infact you hated him because he was a cocky man. He barely cared for any situtations, always one step ahead of you, teasing you even if other cant really understand his way of teasing. But overall because of kaveh you guys did get along sometimes.

Suprisingly he was the one who confessed with a valentines card, it was cute since he was shy about it and now its been 7 years.

Alhaitham is good at fighting so sometimes he takes dangerous missions other than being scribe and that worries you a little. You were just a researcher in akademiya so you cant always be with him. First time meeting with The Traveler your mind was at ease since they were with Alhaitham and helped him with secret missions in desert.

From 7 years to this day he is also not the type of person who really shows affection towards to someone but you, it made you feel speacial. But after all that archon saving missions he invites traveler to dinner, hanging out with her more and more. You told yourself that you were not jealous and its normal to hang out with people they like.

This became so often that you were feeling so neglected, you couldnt even talked about this with alhaitham since you felt like he wouldnt care about it.

You were in your room with kaveh, he was trying to finish his desings as you were staring at the ceiling. "Saw alhaitham with a woman today while coming here." Kaveh broke the silence. "Do you know her?" He turned to you.

"You mean the traveler?" You asked tilting your head. "Uhm no? Traveler left to fontaine almost 1 week ago..." he was cold sweating, your eyes widened from shock. Then who he was meeting up with for 1 week?

"Kaveh... tell me your joking?" You laughed. İt was probably one of the jokes he was making right? But he remained silent looking down. No you wouldnt believe it until you see it with your own eyes. "Y/N wait-"

You stormed off to the Sumeru City streets heart beating like crazy. You stopped 20 meter away from alhaitham, hiding in the corner. You saw him... his betrayal as he caressed another womans cheek. She was beautiful, long silky hair and shining eyes, thin and elegance body. Your eyes watering slowly as you watched him lean for a kiss.

You ran from there. As fast as you can, till your lungs gave up. Entering your shared home to pack things up, you looked at youself on the mirror. Hair that looked horrible, sleepy eyes, body that looked like a frog in your eyes. But her... she was beautiful unlike you. You cried for the first time after years, wiping your tears as you packed your things. Leaving your room with no trace of you.

Kaveh on the other hand, explaining alhaitham that you saw everything. Panic rising in him he ran to the shared house. Walking inside slowly, trying to hear if there were any noise. "Y/N? I.. I came home?" He shouted. Feeling weird like the house got colder and quiet. His heart still beating like crazy he rushed to your room only to be faced with a tidy bed, empty warddrobe and empty studying desk.

This was a cruel joke on him right? You were joking, pranking him to make him regret for not telling you sooner it was for a mission right? His hand covering his face as he falls on his knees calling out your name a few times before breaking down.

Looking around trying to find anything that belonged to you, walking inside the house he spotted a letter.

My beloved lover,

I had to leave our home because my heart was hurting too much. Sometimes, I saw things that made me scared—little moments that maybe meant nothing but felt big and heavy to me. I've always struggled with feeling good enough, and these fears made me feel even smaller.

Leaving wasn’t about anger; it was about being so overwhelmed by sadness that staying felt impossible. I never wanted to run away, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I wasn’t what you needed.

I'm really sorry for any pain my leaving has caused. I hope one day we can understand each other better, but for now, I need some space to work through these feelings.

Take care,

[Your Name]

That was it, you left without giving a hint where you went. Guilt eating alhaitham up. For him you were perfect, you were everything he needed. Even your silence made him happy and peacefull. He was never good at showing his emotions and expressions but when you were with him he felt like he didnt need to force himself. You understood everything about him.

He lay down on your bed, a faint scent inhaling as he slightly squezzing the letter in his hand. Murmuring your name, begging to the teyvat to bring you back to him.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #reader angst #genshin angst #al haitam x reader #genshin diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #angst with no comfort #mention of death #alhaitham angst #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham

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stars-in-our-skies · 2 years

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(dont rebongle plz)

my childhood cat has a vet visit tomorrow, i just hope she'll be ok

#i dont live near her anymore or id go with her to the vet #shes been ill for quite some time #apparently she cant chew solids and is drooling so shes been on wet food #the last time i saw her she was underweight and i begged my monster of a grandmother to feed her more #she was like 'noo shes just old and she goes outside. theyre all that thin at that age'#you can see her spine i dont think thats normal!!!!#'i feed her a normal amount' no you fucking dont!!!#but the vet will hopefully smack some sense into her #bc if he doesnt. i will.#and i swear to every single person on this rock that if ANYTHING happens to her #if i have to have my only lifelong best friend put down #i WILL commit numerous crimes #including but not limited to first degree murder and cannibalism #like i dont want her to be in pain but SOMEone will certainly suffer. hint hint.#so i guess we'll find out soon #i refuse to open twitter bc no one over there gives a fuck so this vent post is going here #cw: vent #cw: animal illness #cw: animal cruelty #<-- sorta #anyway im stressed tf out of my mind bc of it #indieposting

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cieloclercs · 9 months

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what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 5/? (read part 4 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

pairing. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

warnings. it’s GROVELLING time !! sad charles, sad reader, swearing, everyone still kind of hates charles (as they should) angst but not quite as angsty as the last part

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. i hope this is enough suffering for you guys 😭 i’m weak tho so there’s a tinyyy bit of progress at the end 👀 i feel like this one’s a bit messy so i’m sorry about that?? it’s also kind of just setting up the next part but oh well 😭 anyways, LAST PART COMING UP NEXT ☹️ i’m gonna miss this series :’(

NOW PLAYING | Singapore 2023 post-FP1 interview: Charles Leclerc

COMMENTS 32k

username i’m still charles’ number 1 hater rn but he looked so sad at the end… ☹️

username girl no we need to be strong! don’t fall for the sad puppy dog eyes (i know he’s cute but srsly don’t) 🫠

username you’re right, you’re right 😔 haters until the end 🫡

username sir don’t try and blame your shitty mistakes on y/n 😭😭

username HE LOOKS SO SAD I CANT 🥲

username i really hope y/n sees this and realises he’s actually sorry

username no way that’s too easy. charles needs to apologise properly !!

username oh my GOD the way he started smiling when he said y/n is his ‘lucky charm’ AND THEN THE WAY IT DROPPED WHEN HE REMEMBERED THEY’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE IM GONNA SCREAM 😭😭😭💔💔💔

username charles do you see what you’re doing to us charlesy/n stans?? PLEASE JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL FFS 😫

username i swear if these two don’t pull their heads out of their asses soon I WILL COMMIT MURDER

username so real bestie 😔

username it’s such an invasion of privacy to ask about this though 😭

username fr the press don’t know when to keep out of it 😒

username i think he knows he’s in love with her now, he’s just not sure how to fix things ☹️

username i’m scared this feels like right person wrong time you know? 😃

username don’t say that 🫣 i’m just praying y/n forgives him. as soon as he apologises properly ofc, can’t make it too easy for him mwahahah

username i want to keep hating him but i’ve never seen him look that sad 🥲

username CHARLES YOU DONT GET TO ACT LIKE THE VICTIM WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CAUSED THIS

username so true. he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and apologise 🙄

liked by yourfriend and 47,837 others

yourusername always on my mind ☁️💫

view all comments…

username SHE’S BACK IN MONACO GUYS EVERYBODY STAY CALM

username MOTHER HAS RETURNED !!!

username wait is that f1 she’s watching on her phone? 🤨

username omg it is 🤭

username SHE WATCHED THE RACE OMFG

username charles podium as well 😩😩

username it’s like he knew she was watching 🥹

username i hate how quickly everyone’s switching up on the charles situation just because of that interview but at the same time i can’t deal with my parents fighting anymore i need them to make up 😫

leclerc_pascale Bienvenue à la maison, ma fille ❤️ / welcome home, my girl

yourusername 🥰

arthur_leclerc YOU’RE BACK

yourusername did you forget? i literally saw you twenty minutes ago 😭

username the caption 🤔

username we can all agree she’s talking about charles, right?

yourfriend ma femme 🤩 / my wife

yourusername mon amour 😘

username she is everything.

username forget her art SHE IS THE ART RIGHT THERE

charles_leclerc belle / beautiful

username EXCUSE ME??

username SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE PHAHAHA

username charles get tf out of here 😭

username i love how y/n’s just straight up ignoring him 😭

username CHARLES IS HERE GUYS HOW ARE WE FEELING

username i’m so conflicted rn

username like i want them to make up but at the same time he needs to SUFFER like he made y/n suffer

username fr, make him squirm a little 😌

username idk guys, if charles leclerc commented ‘belle’ on MY instagram, i’d be on my knees in an instant 🫣

username girl please 😭

username charles babe please go away you’re ruining the vibes x

username i swear to god if he’s here just to fuck with y/n’s head again i’ll fucking kill him

username he wouldn’t do that

username @charles_leclerc if you want to win her back this is NOT the way to do it

arthur_leclerc @charles_leclerc what did i tell you? 👀

username HAHAHA ARTHUR STOP

joris_trouche @charles_leclerc you should listen to our advice mate 😃

yourfriend @arthur_leclerc @joris_trouche shut up both of you 😒

joris_trouche yes ma’am 🫡

username they’re all ganging up on him 😭

liked by formula1updates and 9,736 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and Y/N Y/L/N spotted at the same night club in Monaco 👀

view all comments…

username OH MY GOD IS IT HAPPENING??

username there’s no way this is coincidence charles is boutta beg for forgiveness i’m calling it

username y/n’s actually smiling tho 😭 charles please don’t ruin it x

username we need y/f/n to scare him off before he can ruin her night 🤞

username AHAHAHA YES

username what i’d give to be in that club rn 😔

username fr y/n better be roasting him 😭

➜ part 6

taglist: @cxcewg @incoherenciass @formula1mount @allywthsr @meabhcavanagh @driveswiftly13 @zzblooda @gaslysainz @be-your-coffee-pot @siovhanroy

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dollfaced-erin · 10 months

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𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟'𝕤 ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕝𝕖 (Blade x F!Reader x Jing Yuan)

warning ! Angst !

PART 1

A Vidyadhara's most telling and distinctive feature is their pointed, sharp ears. A long-lived species, Vidyadhara molt after living for six or seven hundred years, repairing their bodies then hatching anew from pearl-like eggs with their memories wiped.

That is, if they do return to Scalegorge Waterscape for the self reincarnating process.

What if...they remain dormant for who knows how long ?

Everything was dark. She couldn't see anything. It was cold, like she was submerged in a sea of ice, all alone, without warmth or light to guide her through.

Then...she opened her eyes, to see...a glimmer of light, distant from her. Her memories, perhaps ?

Her earliest memory...was the voice of a young boy calling out to his aide.

"She hatched !" the young boy called out.

"Young Master, it's not wise to..." an older voice said, stopping midsentence. "She's...she has horns and a tail as well...?"

In that blurry light, she saw two figures hovering over her, so close yet so far...a young boy with...long dark hair and sticks on his head, and an old man with greying hair and red clothes. They seemed...awfully familiar...

"Can you hear me ? You're my sister now !" the young boy said happily, though she understood not of what he meant by that.

"Young master !" the old man chided, sighing with a soft laugh leaving his tired lips.

Then...it was dark again...

"My Lady ! You mustn't !" a voice of an older woman called out.

The figure was blurry too. But she had a sense of warmness flooding her. This sense of...safeness and...familiarity. Though she couldn't see the woman's face, she knows she knew this woman.

"What would your brother say if he saw you ?" the older woman chided, coming closer to that source of blurry sight. The woman was much taller than her, as she had to look up to see the blurred out face of the older woman.

"He wouldn't say anything ! He would just laugh and say 'oh, just leave her be. She's just having a little fun'." her own young voice said.

Then...it was dark again.

"Please Dan Feng ! You must do it. We cant leave him to die ! Not like this ! Please, take my bone marrow !" a familiar female voice sobbed.

"We cant leave him to die. Not when it was our fault to begin with !"

It was her own voice.

And as she opened her eyes again, it was much clearer than any other visions she had earlier. But it was the worst she could've hoped to see. A man...with white hair...down on the ground before her as she kneeled. A man next to her with dark hair and horns on his head. Tears were streaming down his teal eyes as he looked at her.

"I..." he whispered. He looked sorrowfully at the body of the man before them, growing lifeless as they spoke. Then he nodded.

"I understand. For you, I shall endure all punishments." the man, Dan Feng replied.

"Please...when I reincarnate, give me this jade pendant. It shall remind me of who I was and who to find..." she said.

A horrible pain tore through the back of the woman in the void, as she screamed in agony and suffering. The woman in the void screamed as she curled up in that void, shutting her eyes tight. The pain...was unbearable. The feeling of talons digging into her, pulling out a large chunk from her, made her want to choke and cry.

But the suffering and guilt in her heart was enough to overpower any pain of giving up, shoving it back to the depths of her mind. The pain of losing a loved one due to their stubbornness.

And a warm feeling engulfed her hand.

"(Y/n)..." a distorted voice called from afar.

(Y/n) ? Is that her name ?

"(Y/n)...wake up..." the voice called out again.

"This is all just a dream. Wake up."

And as she opened her eyes once again, her vision was fully clear, as she was staring up at a ceiling. Her (e/c) eyes were wide as she panted, trying to calm down her erratic heart. She felt no pain in her back anymore, but it felt...so real.

But she didn't know this place. And...she was laying down, facing the unfamiliar ceiling. Beneath her...it was soft and cold...

"Dan Jia...?" a familiar voice called out. "Can you hear me...? Are you really...awake...?

The woman instinctively turned to the voice, and as she had suspected, the warmth engulfing her hand was none other than another human. Another human who held her hand from the corner of the casing her body was rested in. A casing full of blue flowers, acting as a mattress for her body.

A man with long and messy white hair...and such...warm honey gold eyes...a deep and suave voice full of gentleness at times and fierceness at some.

The lion...she had registered him in her memories.

"Jing Yuan..." the woman softly whispered, her voice hoarse from years and decades and centuries of unuse.

Though that name was familiar to her, that name wasn't her.

"I'm...not Dan Jia. I'm (Y/n)..."

Yet another one from his memories had changed their identity.

Jing Yuan looked at her, blinking a little in shock. His mouth was left agape, unknowing how to respond to what she said. But he gathered himself back, and smiled at her warmly.

"Yes, my mistake. Good morning, (Y/n)..."

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr blade x reader #hsr x you #hsr blade #hsr jing yuan #hsr jing yuan x reader #hsr jing yuan x you #hsr angst #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #blade x reader #blade x you #hsr x reader #hsr #dragon's cradle

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dreamauri · 10 months

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max c oc!/ self insert driver reader? i love these kind of fics!! esp when it’s an enemies to lovers, maybe their both competing for the championship🥲

♪ —𝗢𝗛 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗬 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬 max verstappen x fem! driver! reader (angst to fluff + smut) “. . . you never back out of a fight, and neither does max. but the turn of events was surly unexpected.”

( main master list | more of max verstappen ) ( tag list | requests )

2015

"This is not fair!" You shouted in the radio as you drove the car back on the track, trailing the Dutch driver. "HE PUSHED ME! WHAT IS THIS SHIT SHOW?!" Cuss words dripped from your mouth as you caught up to max, taunting and pressuring him to weaken his defence enough to pass.

"NO! BLIND MOTHERFUCKER!" You shouted, slamming your your hands on your steering wheel angrily. He oversteered into you, crashing you out both into the wall for good. "COME HERE." You pulled your seatbelt of, running after him as soon as you were on your feet.

Standing his ground, Max took the the opportunity to tackle you to the ground first, pinning you on the ground face down. "CAN YOU SHUT UP?" He was angry. Why was a dumb blond crashing into him when she should go put on make up or buy some new high heels.

"NOT UNTIL YOU LOSE YOUR TONGUE." Kicking your foot back, you delivered a good slam to his sensitive organ, pretty much killing him. While you got up, Max was still whimpering on the ground, face red. "Asshole." "Says you. You're a stupid fifteen year old blond virgin who cant drive." "OH YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT—"

"OH! Anaki kicked Verstappen again. That must hurt." "I can't even look, she's putting her whole strength into that kick." "We can confirm now that Froi does not skip leg day."

Walking back you your car, you stepped on his back, putting your whole weight on. "Verstappen scum."

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2017

Walking down the pitlane, crew members and camera men made sure to stay out of your way seeing how you were going to crush the water bottle in your hand from the amount of rage you were radiating. "You might want to run away." Christian warned, there was nothing going to stop what was to come next.

Max looked where his team principle did, eyes widening as he started walking away for an escape. You never showed him mercy, and he knew he's be dead by the end of this one.

Throwing the metal bottle with precision, you hit Max right in the back of his head, making hm wince and turn you with a look of anger. Charging towards you, ready to tackle you down, you dodged putting your leg out to trip him.

"That's for costing me a win." You growled, raising your elbow to drop on him. Your revenge was short lived as someone quickly held you back. Getting up slowly and wiping his nose, he glared daggers at you. The only reason you were not suffering because the two of you were in public.

"Bitch." He mumbled ready to attack only for someone to hold him back. "Say that again." You dared him, venom leaking from your words. "Bit—" Safe to say he wasn't going to have children anymore.

You pulled yourself free as you watched the Dutch fall on his knees and chest, hands between his thighs. "Pussy." You spit, walking back to your garage. "I hate you." He shouted after you.

"Hate is not a strong enough world to describe how much I despise you, darling." You called back, throwing back a middle finger.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2022

"Flight is cancelled. Come back in another seven hours." You repeated, laid on your back face covered by your jacket. You've been waiting in the first class lounge for eternity now, and every now and then people would come and ask you the same question.

Instead of hearing the person leave, you felt someone shove your legs harshly off the couch. Snapping up into sitting position, ready to argue with the disturber of your short-lived peace. You're eyes met with your rival.

"Ew. Get off, rat." You shoved him off, going back to your laying position. "Can you not for once?" He was at his limit with you, pushing your legs off and sitting back down. "Not when it's you." You rolled your eyes covering your face with the jacket again, going back to sleep as you pushed him off.

"I've had it with you!" He ripped your shoes off, throwing them across the empty room. "Hey!" You kicked his side getting up to retrieve the puma, only for Max to lay in your stop. "My spot." "Stop being a child."

"Oh I'm sorry. Are you jealous that I'm still living a childhood you never had?" You mocked, throwing the heel of the shoe at his groin. "What is wrong with you?! Fuckin' Hell! Stop fucking obsessing over my dick like a slut!" "Oh you wanna see obsession?"

Max's legs had been shaking the whole flight, and you sitting a few seats behind could only smile as he winced with ever move and shuffle. He heard the occasional giggle come from you, and when he looked back, you raised your tomato juice pretending to give him a toast.

Arriving in Bahrain was easy for you. You loved the country and its people so it was easy to find your way around. Unlike someone who had to take the golf cart through the airport because he was dying on the inside.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Whoops. Not sorry." You hummed as you lapped the Redbull driver, slightly throwing him off the race line. "Haha, look at him stirring around like an idiot." You laughed in the radio as you watched him struggle in your mirrors. "Alright, byebye." You sighed comfortably, zooming away easily to lap the next car head.

Being on the podium was fun, a great start to the season as you danced happily under the shower of champagne. "This is how you do it~" You sang laughing, a certain Dutch driver caught your eyes as your engineers carried you back to the garage on their shoulders. You held up your trophy, showing off with a bright smile.

you were so dead.

When Max found you in the hotel later that night, he was quick to pull you in a corner out of sight, slamming you in the wall. "You're driving me insane." You looked at him for a moment before feeling a light bulb spark in your head.

"Aww, I'm sorry." You trailed a hand down his chest slowly, looking him deep in his eyes. "Froi." He growled gripping your wrist before it went to far down. "Lets play a game." You whispered in his ear, free hand slowly unzipping his pants and reaching inside slowly. "What are you— fuck—"

Max could only lean his fore arms on the wall as you worked your hand. The same one that had punched his dick a few days ago. He could've stopped you or said no, but he let you, his body shaking from the contrast of the pain and pleasure, blue eyes looking deep in your honey green ones.

A muffled groan sounded through his lips as he finally came in your hands. "Good luck next race." You patted his back, wiping the substance on his shirt walking away. Max could only stay in his place, frozen as he caught his breath slowly.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He understood the game now. You were playing dirty. Distracting him the way you did was successful as you danced on your halo after securing pole position in Saudi Arabia. He'd be starting behind you tomorrow, and that angered him.

He can play the game too.

Pulling you aside once he got the chance, you could guess why. And for the next 3 hours, Max was on his knees, face between your thighs as you sobbed from overstimulation. He liked hearing you so venerable and weak, begging as you gripped his hair. "Verstappen, enough." You could feel your legs shake, the only thing holding you up were his strong arms.

"Sluts shouldn't talk." "I'm not a slu— no no no. Enough. Please!"

He liked this.

And so the battle continued, on and off track. Your fights were slowly decreasing in the eyes of the media and people didn't know why. Your battle off track was the one that decided the winner, the one who threw off the other the most had already secured his trophy the night before.

Of course you two never had full out sex. You never held hands. You never kissed. Never marked. You didn't like each other, right? Right? You never fight it when he pushed himself in your room in the middle of the night.

You don't pull away when he drags you out of sight.

You didn't stop him when he digs his fingers into your core.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The season dragged through and through and the championship was tight between the two of you. You'd practically be alternating each weekend on who had P1.

You'd raise your middle finger to him and he'd raise his to you. It was funny from the side lines really, watching you the two go from kicking each other ( you to him ) to mild insults after each race or qualifying.

Some people would say you matured and others would say the FiA threatened to suspend you for the behaviour ( the fia couldn't ever, you were bringing in money with each fine ).

It was at the Italian grand Prix when rumours truly began to form. When it came to the after party to celebrate your win, you went all out and embraced all types of alcohol, somehow concluding with you switching Italian the whole night.

Max who had gotten second place in the race sat a few chairs away from you, drinking from his glass as his eyes followed you. He could already imagine what he'd do next, and it made his pants tighten. What pulled him out of his thoughts were a group of guys chatting with you, touching you.

Why did that anger him the way it did? It shouldn't have. What did for him was you trying to pull away. He didn't even know how he got there but he secured a good punch to one of the guys face. Too bad for him, the others could fight.

Pnce he got the chance, Max lifted you up on his shoulder, bolting out of there. Goodness knows what would've happened if he didn't step in, and that scared him and bothered him deeply.

After conforming that you were indeed a safe distance away from your assailants, he set you back down on your feet, feeling cold without your body heat and it stirred his stomach sick.

Quickly taking your wrist, he dragged you along to try and find his way back to the hotel. "I wanna dance." You demanded, standing still and pulling him back.

"Froi, I don't have time for this." "I beg to differ. We have all the time in the world, Max." You pulled him closer to you, taking his hand as you twirled yourself.

That was the first time you called him by his first name, and it made his heart flutter.

Say it again.

"Please let me know that it's real. You're too good to be true." You turned into his chest, your finger trailing up his neck and jaw as you looked deeply into his ocean blues. "Can't take my eyes off of you." You sang, glancing down to his lips as Max leaned down slowly, his hands finding your hips and back as he pulled you close.

He could feel your breath on his lips and your heart beat in your chest. Dipping down with the courage he put together. His heart sank when his felt you push him away from his face. "Ew. No way."

Shatter.

'What was I thinking. She doesn't like me.' He thought, sighing as he walked behind her, hands in his pockets as he eyed you in your short red stain dress. He wasn't any better than those other guys with the way he treated you and the way touched you. Thy way he watched you. The way he thought about you.

The way he wanted you.

Finally finding your hotel, he walked you up to your room. "God bless." You groaned falling on your bed. Gently kneeling down, Max started undoing the straps of you heels, committing the mistake of looking up where your dress rode up your thighs.

Setting your heels aside, he was surprised when you pulled him ontop of yourself his collar, a mischievous smile on your face. "What's that in your pants?" You teased. Looking down, Max was quick to put a hand over his crotch, attempting to hide the forming boner.

"I saw it already. You can't hide from me." You giggled, hands slipping under his shirt and pulling it over his head. The Dutch watched as you traced your finger along his skin, drawing shapes and lines aimlessly.

His heart was thumping. Why was he feeling like this? His breath hitched feeling your other hand where he needed you the most. "Anaki." He found himself begging as you pushed him on his back. Your hands were quick to unbuckle his belt, pulling his pants and underwear down.

"I swear it keeps getting smaller everytime." You teased, taking him in your mouth. "Not- not small." ( he's a good 7.6 inches ) He said in between grunts, gently brushing your hair out of your face.

This was out of norm for him, being so gentle with you. Treating you like a piece of glass, cupping your cheek to guide you gently. Unlike the usual when he's rough and unforgiving.

"Ugh fuck." He felt himself relax after his release, his thumb caressing your cheek as you pulled away. He watched you open your mouth, your saliva and his seamen dripping down on his stomach.

"You're playing nice." You commented, crawling up and tracing kisses on his neck. "Mhm?" Max hummed, closing his eyes and leaning into your touch. His hand trailed up your back gently, prompting you to pull off your dress. The blond could only admire you, hands caressing and exploring your delicate skin.

"You're beautiful." He promised, cupping under your chin as his lips traced your body. "Max." There it was, calling his name. "Hmm?" He asked flipping you over so he was on top, finger hooking on the hem of your underwear, pulling it down slowly.

"Max." His heart flutterd as he gently held your thighs, aligning himself to you. "Need you." You whispered, hooking your heels around your waist.

No. This was wrong.

You were drunk. Despite how much as he needed you, and how much it hurt not to be inside you, he couldn't take advantage of you in this state.

A moan sounded through the hotel room as he slowly sunk his two digits in your core instead.

After covering you with the blanket, Max reached for his shirt, pausing through the process to look at your sleeping figure. 'If I leave now, everything will go back to the way it was. And if I don't, I have no idea how she'll take it . . . Fuck it.'

Slipping back in bed after he cleaned you up, Max hesitantly pulled your bare body into his, sharing your body heat for the night.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"No." You gaped making the newly showered Dutch flinch and freeze in his place. He was leaning his back on the bathroom door frame, toothbrush in his mouth.

After staring at each other for two minutes, wondering why the fuck he decided to NOT wrap a towel around himself: "What the fuck?!" You shuffled backwards in the bed falling off. "Ow!"

"Shit." Jumping over and getting to your side of the bed, Max peaked over checking on you. He was greeted with a pillow smacking his face. "Ow! Relax!" He pulled away, holding your hand before you attacked him again.

"Relax?!—" "We didn't fuck. Chill." "Chill? Verstappen, you're naked in my room." You reasoned trying to pull away only for the man to pull you back up on the bed. 'Fuck. Go back to using my first name.'

"You're fine. I helped you get back and you played around." 'That's odd. Nothing hurts.' You thought looking at him suspiciously. "Your joking." You chuckled darkly, seeing his dick harden. "I can't help it alright?" He grumbled embarrassed, pulling you closer and turning you around.

"Hey! Hey!" You protested trying to crawl away. "Anaki! Can you relax and stay put for just a second?" He questioned, holding you by your hips. "No!" You fought back only to be pulled back on your knees, hands held behind your back. "Anaki. I'm losing my mind. It hurts."

Hearing him say your name so desperately threw you off. Before you knew it, he was humping your thighs, his free hand between your legs to pleasure you as well.

This was different. This wasn't fighting or competing. This was love making ( well, less than half way there ). You could feel it in the way you moaned and the way he treated you like a fragile flower. "Verstappen-" "Max. My name is Max." He corrected you, letting your hands go so he could hold himself up and not squish you.

"Max." You repeated, feeling him lean down and press soft kisses to your back and neck. "Yeah?" He could feel your breaths pick up as you leaned up into his chest. He closed his eyes, wrapping an arm around you.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"You and Max haven't fought in a while." "So?" You shrug, acting oblivious. One of the biggest cons of F1 was the interviews, the paparazzi, the media.

"Do you have anything to comment about that?" "Eh." You shrugged, setting your elbow on the table, leaning your chin on your hand. "You guys are boring." You yawned looking at the press conference crowd. "You tell me." Max, a few chairs away, commented leaning his head back bored.

"What's going on with you and Max?" Lando asked once you escaped the press conference. "What is going on with me and Max?" You returned the question, walking backwards. "Well you're calling him by his first name. And there are rumors going around about you dancing with him in the streets back in Imola." He whispered that last part through gritted teeth.

"Oh, do you have a crush on Max? Are you scared ima steal your man?" You joked taunting him. "What?! I don't like Max!" "Ouch." The Dutch commented as he passed by.

"Lando likes you." Carlos patted your shoulder as he passed by. You raised your eyebrows surprised, looking at Lando to confirm the statement. "I- well-" Lando scratched the back of his neck nervously. You could only giggle wiggling your eyebrows as you walked away backwards.

Max crushed the Redbull can, overhearing the conversation. He just got you, he's not losing you.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I brought nuggets." He said once you peaked through the hotel room door, holding out the two 20 packs. You opened the door all the way, looking between him and the nuggets. Should you let him in? Should you send him away? What does he expect? What do you want?

Max could see the thought train running through your eyes and you could see the nervous gulp in his throat. "Please. Give me a chance. I'm sorry for all the bitch shit I've done to you. All of it. I take it all back."

"Give me a chance, Anaki."

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Being in a secret relationship was difficult to say the least. There was tension between you and Max. Hungry glances in press conferences and deep eye contact from across the paddock.

Max wanted to hold you, he too felt empty with you so far away from him. He wanted to kiss you in front of everyone so they can back off. Especially Lando. And although Max knew you would never go out with the boy, he was getting pissed off with how much the McLaren wasn't giving up.

Keeping an eye on you from across the bar, Max watched as Lando tried to hit on you. You could only watch amused as Lando leaned his side on the bar, listening to a story he was telling whilst sipping his whisky. "Have I ever told you about the time I went backpacking in Europe?"

He'll no. Max knew what was coming next and he did not like it.

"I didn't order this." You told the bartender looking at the fancy drink infront of you. "It's from him." A smile crept on your face as you lifted the glass, taking sips from the probably expensive alcohol. "Thank him for me."

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I don't like the way he looks at you." Max grumbled as he pulled his shoes off, tossing them in the rack only for you to tidy up after him.

"You know I'm yours." You leaned down kissing him gently. "He's practically undressing you." He humbled, gently pulling your ancle up and taking the uncomfortable heels off. "I don't even want to know what goes through his head." He grumped tossing the heels away, picking you up and walking with you into the apartment.

"Max, I have legs. I can walk." "I don't care." He threw you on your shared bed, tossing you a pair of shorts and shirt from the closet while he changed into shorts. "It just— I know I'd love you way better than anyone else." He sat beside you, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Max, you broke my nose in 2016." "I apologized! I'm sorry!" He looked at you eyebrows begging. "Here, punch me, break my nose. Return the favour." He closed his eyes, bracing himself. "Max—" "Do it." He flinched hearing you shuffle closer, but all he felt was you kissing his nose gently. "You're an idiot. I'm dating an idiot."

"You love me?" You asked once he opened his eyes, referring to a few seconds ago. "I— yes." He stuttered nodding. You could only smile as you looked into his eyes, dipping closer to catch his lips with yours.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2023

"And Froi wining in formula one 4 times from pole, is going to win from pole again and end the season with celebrations for Ferrari. Anaki Froi wins the Abu Dhabi Grand prix and is the first female champion of the world!"

"YEES!!" You threw your hands up in joy and euphoria as your engineer confirmed your title. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! GRAZIE! GRAZIE!" You could feel happy tears happy tears stream down your face as you ran your hand over your helmet.

"YEAH! LETS GO!" Max in the car behind you was also celebrating, not his second place in the race, but your championship title. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WOHOO!"

Jumping out of the car, you were quick to jump into the arms of your team, hugging and praising you as you cried in their arms. Pulling away, you looked at Max who climbed out of his car.

Might as well, no?

You rand into his arms, hugging him tightly as he did the same. "I'm so proud of you, Ani." He held the sides of your helmet shaking you back and fourth as you laughed. "So proud." He undid the strap, pulling the protection off, before pulling his helmet off. You caught his jaws with your hands, connecting his lips with yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist. Once he pulled away, he held your hand, getting down on one knee.

"Double the joy for me, my darling. Marry me. Lets spend our nights eating cereal when there is a perfectly fine table behind us. Marry me. We can go to the movies and sit in the back row just for us to make out like kids falling in love for the first time. Marry me. slow dance with me in our bedroom with candles on our nightstand."

Dropping down on your knees, you pulled him in a bone crushing hug, nodding yes and you squeezed him tight. "I'm all yours, forever." You nodded.

Your favourite thing about that day was not revealing your relationship to the world, your engagement to your lover, but the look of utter confusion and lostness on Christian Horner's face.

voice notes 🔊 . . . ( this took a way too sexual turn, damn. sorry it took me so long to write this. i really liked it so i hope you enjoy. i wanted to test out second point of view using OC (anaki froi), hope that didnt ruin it )

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coolprettyleo · 21 days

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my soul has changed? - will smith au

wc: 1.4k

tw: depression, suggestion of an ED, awkwardness? mean girl.

will smith x oc celebrini sister!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

lola celebrini was in a point of her life where everything felt still. she was pretty sure she was suffering from depression and it was a cycle she didn't know how to get out of.

she would wake up, go to school, go to work, and then sleep. she was lucky if she fitted a meal in between that meant she had lost tons of weight.

she had been a pretty healthy teen, she played hockey up until high school alongside her brothers; but when the time came to play college hockey, she got no offers. contributing to her depression.

it was a sport she held so much love and dedication, she couldn't understand why she hadn't been good enough? I mean her brothers were good enough, they got college offers. macklin was even projected to go first overall, so why couldn't she?

those were thoughts that were constantly haunting her mind. if she found something to forget them they would flood back in, like if they wanted her to be a lifeless doll she had been feeling like.

her family had been really worried for her. she had finally seen her brothers after a year, at the NCCAA playoffs and it only caused them to worry more.

flashbacks

lola knew that macklin and aiden were gonna bombard her with questions as soon as they were alone. they could hardly recognize her. growing up she was always a smiling person with a big personality and now she was about forty pounds lighter and was a ghost of the person she used to be.

"april what's going on" macklin said shutting the door behind him.

"what do you mean"

"cut the bullshit. I know your not okay, you barley answer my text anymore, what's wrong"

"it's nothing mack-"

"no it's not nothing, maybe I can fix it-

"you cant 'fix' it"

"and why not-"

"because I don't know what wrong with me!"

that had been about two weeks ago. she just didn't know what to tell her family. she really didn't understand why she had been feeling that way.

she was currently at work where she was a barista in a cute coffee shop. she honestly loved working there, she had got the job when she was in high school and had kept it till college. seeing as she didn’t move far away for college, choosing to stay close to her parents.

she often wondered if she might be happier if she moved away just like everyone else did, just like her brothers did. but it would always end in her telling herself; that it's not worth dwelling on.

it was currently six am and at this time of day there weren’t many customers. the cafe was always busy mid day when people were looking to find somewhere to study.

so she was surprised when she turned the open side around, to find a boy waiting outside to come in. a boy who looked a lot like will smith.

lola wasn’t an idiot to hockey, she kept up with it a fairly good amount, so she would have to be living under a rock to not know the guy who dominated the ice at her brothers rivalry school.

that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to act like she didn’t know him.

he reached for the handle and took a look at her before turning as red as a tomato and blushing,

“hey, are you guys open?” he asked nervously, mentally slapping himself because he just saw her turn the sign around, to ‘open’

“uhm yeah I’ll be with you in a sec” she told him.

will couldn’t help but think her voice was cute. she had a rasp to it that made him want to give her everything she’s ever wanted.

lola finished up, putting the coffee too brew and turned to the counter.

“okay! order when your ready”

“uhm. i actually never been here before… any recs?” he asked after a moment nervously scratching his neck.

“well I get a dirty chai, but considering my brothers hate it, you might hate it too… I guess you might like a frap?” she told him, a little too monotone.

“yeah okay” he told her again nervously. he found her to be breathtakingly beautiful.

he paid and stood back as she got to making the drink.

“you from here?” will asked hoping to make small talk.

“uhm kinda. I was born in Vancouver but moved here when my dad got a job”

will panicked. oh god was she still in highschool

lola must of saw the worry on his face because she added,

“that was a couple years ago, im eighteen now” she said smiling at his face. something she didn’t do often anymore.

“oh, i’m eighteen too”

“oh yeah, what brings you to san jose, school?” she said innocently knowing very well he was drafted here and was most likely here to work on development.

“no. I”m came to meet with some people here. I go to boston college” he answered. lola starting to not feel so bad because she saw he didn’t want to right away say he was a hockey player.

“far from home huh”

“yeah, i’m literally across the country from everything and everybody i’ve ever known” he told her wanting to slap himself. did she need to know that!?!

“i’m sorry. it’ll get easier” she said remembering her brother had been homesick too but utimatly started feeling better after some time-- as she handing him his drinks and gave him a sympathetic face.

“yeah i hope so, i should be moving here soon, if everything goes right” he said as he took a sip.

“hey this is good!” he said taking another sip as lola smiled. something that will thought looked amazing on her.

lola smiled at him remembering the fact her brothers liked that drink. boys were so typical

“i’m glad… and hey— if you ever need a friend in town my names lola” she told him as she held her hand out to him to shake.

will starred at it for a moment before he quickly met her hand.

“will” he told the girl with a smile.

they were cut out of there moment when two customers walked in.

“I should get back to work. i’ll see you around will” she told him as he smiled a nodded and walked right out.

say something! ask for my number! do anything!

lola felt really dumb after she basically just presented herself in a silver platter to the boy and he didn’t finish his part in asking for her number. he had definitely rejected her in the nicest way someone possibly could.

meanwhile will got into the Uber with a gitty feeling. she seemed really cool and having someone to hang out with other than his teammates was going to be so nice.

he was midway into the meeting with some general managers when he realized he didn’t even ask for her number.

“oh my god” he mumbled as he came to the realization

"i'm sorry?" one of the GM's said confused.

“uhh— I said I was excited to join the franchise!” he covered up, feeling like an idiot.

hopefully she was still there after the meeting.

the meeting had gone a little to long for his liking and as he raced down to the coffee shop he hoped she was working a long shift.

he opened the door to see a blonde girl who looked old but yet looked young, and a taller boy with curly hair working behind the counter.

“hi. is lola working today?” he said breathlessly

the blonde eyed him for a moment before smirking,

“I don't recall a lola ever working here...my name samantha though” she said with a face that will knew was a face of someone who was lying.

“yes there is, she helped me earlier-"

“if your here to file a complaint against her, I can totally help you then,” she said

“no she was great— wait, you said you didn’t know an lola-“

“your looking for lola?” the other barista cut in

“yeah she was here earlier, i was hoping she was still here”

“she got off like two hours ago but i can give you her number!” the curly haired boy told will. he was one of lola's friends and he wasn’t going to ruin this opportunity for her.

“you totally can’t do that!” the blonde girl said in a nasally voice.

“shutup samantha. go take candy from a baby or something” he sassily told her.

she rolled her eyes before walking away to wipe a table down.

“sorry about her, here’s her number— good luck!”

“thankyou so much” he told him as he thought about what exactly to text the pretty girl.

both lola and will not knowing the epic love story they were about embark on.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

hi guys! i hope this is kinda good, dont feel shy to send in ask and au thoughts… i like never get any but im so open to it!!

#nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey fic #will smith hockey #bc hockey #gabe perreault #ryan leonard #will smith hockey x reader #jacob fowler #bc eagles #will smith hockey x oc #will smith hockey imagine #gabe perreault x reader #nhl #hockey imagine #lola x will

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bartxnhood · 1 year

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second chance | c.b

colby brock x fem!reader

summary: you’ve been bottling up your emotions for too long, when colby finally returns from an investigation you blow up. he begs for a second chance.

warnings: angst, mild language, argument.

a/n: back with another colby blurb bc i literally cant get him out of my mind lol. this was kinda inspired by a song so i will link it below and you can listen while you read if you want !! enjoy ! feedback is appreciated.

requests open

not proofread

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

you frantically began throwing random items of clothing into your bag, rummaging through drawers, your shared closet, and the bathroom. getting what you needed for a few days away.

you were so tired of being alone. katrina was visiting her family, and sam and colby were on their filming trip which left you alone at the house. of course, you could just go home but you didn’t have the money for a flight at the moment and you were too keen on the idea of driving across the state alone.

so you just decided to stay back at the house.

but you were finally at your breaking point. colby was coming home today, but you just had enough. you needed a breather and the only way you’d get that is getting out and away.

you heard commotion downstairs and you took that as he and sam were home. “babe! i’m home!” colby announced coming upstairs, but when he opened the bedroom door he didn’t expect the scene in front of him.

colby asked, “where are you going?” as he dropped his bags to the floor. “staying with a friend” you answered, zipping up your bags and throwing them over your shoulder. you made a b-line for the door but, colby stopped you. “why?” you looked ahead, not wanting to face him.

he knew you were mad, he couldn’t understand why you were though. colby didn’t know about your loneliest nights, the ones you’d scream and cry yourself to sleep because of his lack of attention and time differences. he didn’t know how much you were suffering while he was out having fun recording his videos. you never told him.

“i just need to get out, colby.” you never called him that, it was always ‘colbs’ or ‘hun’. he pulled you back, you finally looked at him. “what’s wrong? talk to me” “nothing's wrong! im fine!” you weren’t. you wanted to punch him and call him stupid for not seeing your pain. colby sighed, “then why are you leaving?” finally, you snapped.

“because i’m tired!” you dropped your bags, your chest burning with anger. “i’m so tired of being left here alone for weeks, sometimes months while you’re gone. i know you’ve offered to let me join but you know i hate that stuff, colby.” it all came pouring out. “i’m so tired of waiting for you” you began punching and pushing his chest, the damn opened and tears flowed down your face. “i’m. so. tired!” his arms held you tightly but you fought back, and you cried, “don’t!” colby’s eyes were starting to tear up. “i wake up every fucking day reaching for you but you’re not here.”

“y/n..i..” he was at a loss for words, running a hand through his hair. “please just don’t leave, let’s talk this out, please.” he reached for your hand, pulling you closer his other hand held your chin up. “what can i do?” you blinked away tears blurring your vision, “i..” you fell silent, unable to think straight. colby added, “use your words.”

“just please don’t be so distant. i miss us, i miss you. i miss everything, and i just can’t be alone anymore.” colby nodded, “okay. i won’t leave. i promise” he wrapped his arms around your neck holding you closer than ever.

it had been a few hours since the fight, and now the two of you sat by the fire outside sharing a blanket. “im sorry for what i said and how i handled it. i was just so frustrated”

he hummed, “don’t apologize, im glad you told me. i think i needed to hear it” colby kidded your temple. “just promise me one thing, don’t shut me out. please” the pad of his thumb caressed your cheek. “i’ll be better too, i’ll stay home more often, kay?” you nodded, smiling. “i love you, colbs” he pecked your lips once more, “i love you too, y/n/n. i promise i’ll never act like that again. i’m sorry i put you through so much pain.”

#colby brock x you #colby brock x y/n #colby brock angst #colby brock fic #colby brock fluff #colby brock x reader #colby brock fanfic #colby brock imagine #colby brock #colby x reader #Spotify

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lostonmari · 4 months

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Double SP Success #4

I told yall earlier about the SP I manifested the third party away from, and like I predicted…….. WEEEE ARE NOW DATINGGGG!!!! Boyfriend #3 added to the rosterrrr!! I'm literally typing this as I watch him stream some shitty game 🙄 (I do not support men having fun [joke]) -- 2nd success below as well + how I manifested it

Now secondly, I always say there's movement even when you don't see it and I will ALWAYS believe that!

I was manifesting for one of my exes to be left heartbroken and shattered by his new gf (not sure if I've ever posted about him before, but some background is he was obsessed with me and then because of ME wavering and mentally "giving up" our relationship he suddenly just wanted to break up)…. but anyway he confided in me yesterday (we've been talking everyday for about 2 weeks now, after he consistently said for 5 months that he'd never talk to me again, so slay) that he's been depressed and cant even do any of his uni work because he has no motivation anymore and told me how he was lonely without me in his life and missed me even when he was with her (he kept all the plushies I bought him too) 😋 I love being a villain

I know there's always someone whos curious about "HoW dId YoU dO iT" but it's literally the same thing I've been telling yall.. I like to affirm and manifest in steps instead of speedrunning to the end goal because doing it step by step makes the most sense in my mind and for me thats what gets me results faster, so thats the "technique" I use.

Like if I wanted to date someone and they're in a relationship, I manifest them being single first. With bf #3 I did that PLUS since he didn't know me at first I manifested us meeting and being friends before I manifested us dating.

my affs for me and bf #3 were just "He messaged me, he wants to hang out with me" and once we started talking & became friends I just switched to "he likes me, he has the biggest crush on me, he's so into me" I robotically affirmed whenever I thought about him, and whenever I was just mentally idling (aka not thinking about anything important)

for my ex my aff was literally just "he's suffering" and I didn't even focus on affirming for this, it was easy for me to just BE in the state of believing/knowing so I'd only affirm for a minute or two whenever the thought came to mind.

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #sp manifestation #loa success #sp success story #loassumption

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call-of-ishmael · 6 months

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Ishmael as having Pure O (OCD)

Inspired by a post i saw of someone saying their own experiences with OCD didn't line up with Ishmael (which i liked a lot, i always love seeing discussions on this) i wanted to give my own take based on my own experiences with OCD. Its my take Ishmael suffers from a bit of a lesser known variety, Pure Obsessional OCD. Now Pure O is a bit of a misnomer, because you DO have compulsions, they are mostly mental though, and there can be accompanying behaviors that are more outward, however it can be hard to miss, and in my experience has even made my family doubt the diagnosis at times cause its tricky. Now for Ishmael, she seemingly has no outward compulsions, but she has one thing, avoidant behaviors, like hiding away in her cabin during the first part of Canto V, which again leads to a bit of another connection, her whetting her harpoon for entirely too long, a small but noticeable behavior accompanying her avoidant behaviors. Avoidant behaviors tend to be the more outward of symptoms at times, cause mental compulsions are hard to spot. Post also mentioned that anxieties didn't seem to be that prevalent before 4.5-5 and id disagree. Dante noticed some anxious behaviors early on (They for example say she will start talking really quickly and in excess when nervous). She has always come off as always being on edge to me at least. Anxiety has always been a part of her behaviors but as we have seen shes been masking it a lot. Finally a bit more on a personal note, they mention in the post too that OCD tends to be many things, but there can be a tendency to single mindedness, you just wanna quiet down whats wrong and you need to take whatever path it is to make it stop hurting, and considering shes facing one of her biggest traumas, this being what shes been stuck on for the better part of the whole Canto makes perfect sense. Other stuff is her catastrophizing, endless ruminating on what could go wrong (she starts thinking of scenarios of what might just completely make it a disaster, what if Dante cant bring anyone back, what happens if they go overboard?) this isn't new, shes been this way since Canto II where she wants a perfect plan and is really only satiated by Effie and Saudes plan being watertight, one thing mentioned in the post is ruminating anxiety, and her behaviors not just in this chapter but in small ways before clearly give me an impression of this ruminating behavior always considering what could go wrong and wanting something rational to follow. In conclusion, her behavior before, this canto and during the Canto give me the impression she has Pure O which she has been trying her hardest to mask until she just couldn't anymore, and its now we are finally seeing some of those hints of mental compulsions turn into more outward behavior. If youd like to read a bit more on Pure OCD heres an article that while a bit general gives a good idea https://ocdla.com/obsessionalocd

#limbus company #ishmael lcb #ishmael limbus company #canto v spoilers #limbus spoilers #ocd

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mugentakeda · 2 months

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azula and lu ten things because i am insane

-lu ten does that shit where he appears at azulas door randomly with a bowl of fruit. he cuts them and peels them himself (<-frequent kitchen invader). he kinda floats in and drops it off at her desk silently while maintaining intense eye contact with her like a weird ghost

-they do a lot of “parallel play” together. azula didnt go to the fire nation academy for girls until after lu ten died, so while she still was being taught within the palace, theyd do their work together in the palace library. shed do her studies, lu ten would pour over his scrolls. when lu ten does this stuff with zuko there’s always chit chatting, but when its azula they just do their thing in each others company and in silence. lu ten likes to bring blankets and pillows and tea so they can do it on the floor instead of slouching over the tables

-when bad summer storms roll around the three like to sleep in lu tens room because his bed is the biggest. azula likes to whisper menacing shit like “cousin when youre firelord i will usurp you and make you and zuzu my court jesters” when zuko falls asleep. and lu tens just like Okay💯

-whenever they see each other with snacks they like to make it a goal to snatch it and run off as fast as possible. one time lu ten snatched a mooncake right out of azulas mouth and hauled ass through the courtyard. ursa and iroh were playing pai sho together and he kicked the whole table over just to slow azula down

-azula spontaneously appears in lu tens room to annoy him when shes bored and cant find zuko or if zukos busy. she stands outside his door complaining until he lets her in and then she just wanders around his room and messes with his stuff and stands there menacingly. And rhen she just leaves and lu ten will call after her like “and stay out WEIRDO” and azula will respond like “YOURE BALD”

-when azula was a baby and lu ten was still looking after her for ursa, he eventually had to teach her how to eat on her own. everytime azula ate shed have to bathe cus shed get food Everywhere. face, clothes, hair. under her clothes. eyelashes. up her nose. it was disastrous

-lu ten was always someone azula knew would be there for her but. he was only her cousin. and lu ten taking care of azula while ursa suffered from her ppd is a secret that lu ten kept to the grave for the sake of ursas pride, so while lu ten loved azula a great deal and to a very intense level that mixed and complicated the love and older sibling has and a parent has (complicated because lu ten was only 15 at the time lol), azula never knew. and unless ursa tells her in the future then she never will

-itll always be one of the things azula hates her uncle most for. what she finds most disgraceful and pathetic about him. she’ll have to spend more years remembering lu ten than she did knowing him, and its all her uncle’s fault. and all they have are ink portraits and paintings. so eventually, his features, his human face, will slowly ebb from her mind. and the minds of everyone that ever knew him.

her father never talks about him, never talks about any of the phantoms in their family. they don’t do anything for his birthday. so she just lets herself in his room, and messes with his stuff to find proof of his existence.

its dusty. clean but untouched, like he’s just left for a long vacation and tidied up a bit before going out the door. the robe he last wore is still slung over his desk chair. his sandals are still kicked across the floor with one flipped on its side. the lounge chair on his balcony has marks on its seat and back from how much he sat on it.

but theres no humming to nonsensical tunes just to fill the silence (because azula used to swear he liked to hear the sound of his own voice). there’s no scrolls and papers stacked madly on his desk. the scent of spiced saffron tea doesnt linger in the air anymore. it’s not strangely lived in. it makes sense where the servants tidied some areas up, when lu ten never made sense in how he did anything. it’s not right.

it doesnt feel haunted, though- the dread she feels when she goes into mother’s room doesn’t exist in lu ten’s. the sunshine from the always open drapes warms her. the dips in the mattress from when the three of them would cram together, where she and zuko would crawl all over him and dig their elbows and knees into his lanky limbs, they call to her welcomingly. like the silence after the whisper, like he’s under the covers telling her to quit standing at the doorway like a weirdo and to just come in already. like if she pulled the blanket back he’d be there to listen when she’d tell him about the horrible dream she had.

its not dread. its warm feelings and nostalgia lingering, but slowly becoming infected by her own bitterness. a gentle reminder of something she’ll never get back. a question wondering what she did to the universe for it to take away the one person that always corrected her, but never while also judging her or scolding her simultaneously.

and as she looks at the knick knacks on the shelves, she knows that lu ten wasn’t meant for a soldiers death. it’s not just because he was a prince. it wasn’t just because it was down in the trenches, among filthy barbarians in a far off city. it was because she just knew lu ten was meant for the long and simple life, and then a simple death. in his sleep. leaving happy memories like the ones azula has, with tons of kids and grand babies that he loved to pieces and helped raise. by the beach at sunset. leaving an imprint everyone forever, a fond memory brought up at every turn. he didn’t deserve to just be known by a family and a palace that liked to suffocate everything within it.

when she takes ba sing se in her fist, she still knows that. and knows this is probably not even what he wanted, because her cousin was gentle and fair. but he’s also dead forever. he’s her gentle and fair, dead forever cousin. she’ll never stop thinking about how happy he would’ve been to be surpassed by her with lightning, because winning never mattered to him. he’ll never be older than twenty three.

so she will do what she wants in his memory rather than doing what he would’ve wanted. she will do everything shes wanted to do since she knew he was crushed out of existence like a dying star. she will find her uncle and make a wound in the shape of her bitterness, right in his chest, and twist the dagger until he howls like a dog. she’ll rip his arm off for his disgrace, for coming home with only a limb of her cousin’s, and no rage to show for. no want for anything.

#alicias writing stuff #dai li lu ten

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shuxiii · 8 months

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Hows of us— hanni x reader x minji (subtle)

Note: AHAIAHUA KATHNIEL REFERENCE 😋 And this might have been rushed since this has been in my draft for ages and i did not proofread.

Synopsis: Two old lovers meet again but feelings have changed yet one stays the same

As we grew older, our perception of life and love becomes more profound and different, it was no longer something we see as only happiness but also a fleeting moment and a painful experience.

Thats what it always had been with you and Hanni, it was a fleeting love and a painful end.

As you both gradually grew old and matured, everything changed.

She became more ambitious of her life and focused on everything but you.

And of course it always led to many arguments and constant silence but in the end of the day you still loved her, alot.

It goes the same for her, she loved you too, a lot—to the point she worries so much in your life, she was worried about your future about everything that involved you—but that's what is love, right?

worry is a sign of love. It says that, even though I am okay, I am selfless enough to suffer vicariously for you. And isn't that the definition of love?

Of course it was, Hanni loved you.

Even in your dreams and aspirations she loved you.

She knew you always had a burning passion for music—it revolved around you, it was your comfort and your sanctuary.

People around you have always told you, its a diffuclt path to go through—how its an uncertain and indeterminate.

But that didnt faze you at all it only made you want to prove them wrong.

Thats what made Hanni fall for you, it was your over-burning passion for something you love.

She admired the way your eyes glistened at something you adored, just as they did when you gazed at her.

It was like that, it used to be.

Sometimes there are times, its better to give up on things that are too late. But you never did.

08.16.2020

“Yn when are you going to stop this?” She looks at you with tired eyes.

Here it goes again, the same argument.

“You already know the answer, Han” you sigh “I’m not going to give up just yet.”

“Dont you think you’ve done so much already?” She grunts “You’re just going in circles, Yn.”

“Then I’ll keep going in circles if i have to!” You raise your voice. The stress and frustration evident to the tone of your voice.

“Yn, I’m only worried about you!” She frowns “But this is getting you nowhere!”

You felt yourself scoff at her words.

“There you go again, with the same lines” you sarcastically laugh “Han, if you were really worried about me then support me instead—I’m doing what i love why wont you be happy for me?”

“I am happy for you, I was happy for you!” She pauses “But all this stupid pinning for a dream that wont even happen is making you lose yourself—you’re just chasing for something thats far out your reach, yn!”

“Stupid? Is this what you ever saw to it? Stupid?” You stood up from your chair as now you were faced at her with a frustrated look.

“I’m trying my best here and all you think of it is fucking stupid?”

And at this moment of argument, Hanni would have softened her eyes or held onto you and whispered apologies and sweet words but it seemed like it changed now.

“I didn't see it as stupid at first yn, but it's not even a certain future!”

You felt yourself lose her, she seemed so out of reach now. Before she was always there for you—now it seemed like she was against you.

“You’re just like the others!” You felt something wet hit your cheeks “Do you even love me?”

You knew she would say yes without hesitation or contradiction but the look of sadness in her eyes made your heart ache.

There was a silence.

“Do you love me, han?” You stammer.

“Yn…” a mumble

“Do you love me, han tell me!”

“I love you, yn”

There was a pause.

It was the answer you wanted but it didn’t feel right anymore.

“I love you, but this dream you want is getting nowhere and I cant love someone who’s future is uncertain.”

She avoids your gaze as you saw tears fall on the polished floor.

“I love you so much, yn” she chokes from her constant cries “but I’m leaving for university.”

You felt your whole world crash in front of you, everything was turning and drastically changing, and that made you dizzy.

“What?” You stutter “what do you mean, han?”

“Let’s break up.”

All you could do was stare back at her eyes glinting as her tears covered her vision and the light reflecting on it, yet despite the sadness and defeated look she had, she effortlessly made sadness look pretty.

“Im sorry, yn.”

You hold onto her arms as you hugged her tightly in desperation.

“We can talk about this, han—like we always do.” You pleaded “just…just dont leave me, please.”

“I have to go.”

And no matter how much you hold onto her she eventually let go of your grasped, as you felt your knees give up.

“Han, don't do this to me? You promised you wouldn’t leave me!”

She looks at you one more time with glistening eyes before going out the door—out the door where your memories together lingered, out your life, and out of the love you gave all your effort and time—a love that can't be broken just like this, yet it did.

You try to chase for her but the rain blinded her figure from you, you try to hold onto her wrist as the rain damped you.

“Han, please…I dont know what to do without you,”

“Yn, you’ve done so much already, but I cant love you anymore.”

And just like that you were left with only the loud rain and a broken heart.

Since then the love that stayed with you for her grew to become ambitious and hateful—ever since she left you. You wanted to prove her wrong.

And as you became ambitious and resentful you began to lose yourself, your old self.

You drowned yourself in your goal, you began to forget the point of the future you wanted as it was covered with flaming anger for the person you once loved.

08.16.2023

“Yn, don’t forget you have a meeting with our collaboration this afternoon,” yunjin, your manager said before leaving you alone in the studio.

You could only nod as you were too distracted with your guitar and notes.

you scribbled and grunt every time the words didn’t fit each other.

You hear a knock and despite such vague knocking you knew who it was as the sound of the door opened and footsteps go to your sitting figure.

You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Hey,” she says, and despite not looking at her, you could feel her smile from her voice.

“Hey,” i say with a grunt.

“Having a hard time?” She asked, noticing your frustration.

“Yeah.”

You sigh eventually and drop the notebook from your hands as you finally faced her.

“It’s okay, I know you can go through it, you always do” she holds your hands with so much gentle.

And you felt all the frustration that bubbled up disappear in one go as the frown that stayed in your face replaced with a warm smile.

“What will I ever do without you?” You laugh, and hug her tight, she always knew how to make you smile.

She giggled as she hugged back your embrace and her scent covered your whole body.

Minji, was a friend you could ever ask for. she pulled you up in your darkest times. You didn’t know what would happen to you now if you didn’t meet her at all.

You both held each other in silence, she broke it.

“Meetings about to start we should go” she says, her head against your shoulders.

You could only hum in agreement as you let go of her touch that lingered against your skin.

You smile as you walked together, you gaze at the vinyl’s that were hanged on the walls.

You’ve always wanted to collect vinyls ever since you were a kid, yet you couldn’t just afford one, but now that you’ve reach the future you’ve committed to, you could buy millions of it.

Despite that, you don’t. you have never bought a single one at all. It no longer had any merit to you anymore, it had no sentimental value for you.

The thought of sharing all your dreams and goals to someone hurts you, its like once you share a part of your world to them, suddenly they become a part of your world, they align both in you heart and when they leave suddenly the thoughts and goals you’ve shared to them leave too.

As you and Minji both reached the room, you felt some kind of force stop you for a moment and that didn’t go unnoticed by Minji.

“Hey,” she brushes your hands against hers “are you okay?”

that made you break free from the thoughts you could only nod back in response.

It looked unconvincing, but she didnt press further.

Minji opened the door, she went in first.

Her figure blocked the view of the room yet you could see two figures or even three.

But as every second that went it felt like time stopped and your whole world turned over.

you gradually went in the room became more clear in your view and her eyes came in view back to yours.

Suddenly it felt like the weight of the world fell back on your shoulders, the sight of her made your chest heavy and your throat grow a lump.

You didn’t know wether your mind was playing tricks with you—you wish it did but your manager proved you thoughts wrong.

“Yn, i want you to meet Ms. Pham and Ms. Marsh”

You thought maybe it was a lookalike, a different person with the same face of the girl you once loved, but her gaze and her small frown was too vivid in your mind.

All you could do was stand motionless as she stared back at you like a stranger—like no memories lingered between you.

“Yn?” Minji whispered.

You didn’t reply both your eyes and attention focused on hers.

“Yn, are you okay?” Minji repeated herself, now grasping your arms with warmth and that made you breathe again.

That didn’t go unnoticed by hanni as her eyes looked between your hand intertwined to Minji’s.

“I’m sorry,“ was the words you whisper against your breath.

“Just got a little starstruck at Ms. Marsh’s beauty,” you say the truth but also the lie, ms. Marsh is pretty, but she wasnt the reason that took away the air in your lungs, she wasnt the reason why your heart felt heavy.

The tension that once filled the room, turned into polite laughters.

But you could only give a tight lip smile, to masked the perpetual ache that enveloped your heart.

08.20.2023

Ever since that day, your past and presents were aligned and it brought so much chaos in your life.

Out all of the people in this world it had to be her that you had to collaborate with.

You were now alone in the studio as Minji and your manager went out to buy something while you stayed to focus on writing.

Few hours into your composition you heard the faint sound of the door open, you didn’t budge as you thought it was probably Minji who just arrived in the studio now.

Yet the sound of someone else’s voice contradicted that, but not just any voice, it was hers.

“Hey,” she says.

You didn’t reply, still focused on the paper you were so busy with.

“Can you hear me?” She tries to get your attention again.

“Why are you here?” Your back still facing hers.

“Am I in the wrong room?” She jokes, “I’m here for the composition for my artist collaborative song, of course.”

You felt your head boil at her remark, as you gripped tightly on your pen before getting the courage to face her.

But now, you wished you didn’t because as the moment you looked back at her, her eyes were solely on yours.

And it made your chest burn in a certain way, a way you couldn’t help but hate.

“Hey,” she says again, now more closer to you.

You couldn’t say anything back as the proximity of her body with yours took the voice out of your throat, and that was easy for hanni to read, of course it would be, she has loved you long enough to know how you act and, yet, you didn’t change at all.

“Are you okay, yn?” She pretends to be clueless.

“I’m fine.”

You, first break the stare, going back on your composition but the loud banging of your heart remained.

After that tension moment between you two, both of you just sat in silence before the others arrived. Yet, the sound of your heart banged loudly enough to cloud your thoughts.

08.31.2023

She knocked loudly on your door that night with a bottle of whiskey on her hand, her words gibberish as she tried to talk to you.

And maybe it was the liquid courage that had Hanni looking back at your orbs, making her realise all the time she spent without you was only missing you in days when her world turned all crazy and out of control.

Because, when her world was in the midst of chaos, you were her solace.

“I still love you.”

Words that felt dangerous to speak out loud, but when alcohol and a sense of longing collide together those words are like sounds that await to become music.

Hanni, knew she would regret it as she opens her eyes in a new morning, but what does she have to lose? She already had so many regrets in life, how does this one make any difference than the rest.

You.

You were her first and greatest regret. Ironic to call it great when all it’s been for hanni was pain and loss in her end.

09.01.2023

“Love, please” she whispers, as she looks at you with so much desperation and that angered you even more.

“You dont get to call me that hanni,” your hands formed a fist tightly enough to make your kunckles white.

“You left me remember?” you laughed and the sound of your laugh made Hanni’s heart ache, she used to adore the sound of your laughter but now it only made her feel small and pitiful.

“You choose to leave me, but i cant blame you for that you had your own dreams and goals its your life and im merely someone you loved.”

“I still love you,” she mumbled enough for you to hear but you ignored it.

“But its not the reason why i hate you. I hate you because you were just like the others you told me my dreams were uncertain and unrealistic you told me that i cant reach my future, you left me because you lost faith in me and that hurt me because i thought you were different.”

“Or maybe i was just someone who thought they finally found their home, someone they could always be safe around, someone they could count on when times got rough. The person who saw something in you that nobody else could. The person that cared for you more than you could possibly imagine.”

You couldn’t hold it back anymore the past that you bottled the past 3 years couldn’t hold stay inside anymore.

“Yn—“ she tries to hold onto you but you only took a step away from her.

“Han, cant you see I’m tired?”

Hanni felt her heart beat louder when she heard you say her nickname again, she missed it so much— too much that she felt her tears fall.

She wanted nothing but to hear that name again but not in this way. Not in the way she expected it.

“Yn I’m sorry,” it was the only words that fall off her lips.

“Isn’t it a little too late for that han?”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

There was a thickening silence as you gaze at her small figure, you took a glance at her trembling hands.

Whenever she was nervous or sad she’d always have shaky hands and you always used to hold it back with yours to make it stop.

If it were different you would have held it by now, you would have hugged her, you would have kissed her by now.

“I’m sorry of the last three years of pain I caused you. I never wanted that.”

“I’m sorry that of all the people it had to be you, the person who only ever wanted was to love me. I’m sorry that i was the reason that you lost your sense of self worth, I’m sorry if you felt like loving you was hard, because truth be told, you were the best thing i loved and i still love until now.”

You could only look her in the eye with so much pain, it was the words your old self would have wanted to hear, you wished to hear.

But hearing them now felt empty, to you, it went in one ear and out the other

“Han, leave,” you whispered, “please leave.”

You avoided her gaze afraid that if you did, you’ll come back crawling to her and you couldn’t bear to afford that pain again.

After a moment, you slowly opened your eyes to find that she was no longer standing there — she left.

It would have been a lie if you said you didn't have at least a piece of her still in your heart, but even if she did you couldn't bear to love her anymore, not again.

But even then the room you both once shared—you didn't touch it at all or even clean the dust that as built throughout the years that has passed when she left you.

Because you still hoped through the years she would come back, and she did. But its too late.

You walked in the room that once lingered with so much memories and with each step you took it became heavier.

You brushed off the dust that covered the wooden chair in the room.

You didn't know why you went in here when it was the very same place she left you all the arguments and constant fights in this room.

You glanced around with a heavy heart, but something attracted your eye: a box half-hidden beneath the wooden bed.

You knelt as you lifted the fairly large box out of the bed.

The box seemed so familiar, then it dawned on you, it was Hanni's memory box, she must’ve left it before she left off for university. before everything.

You were hesitant to open it but with enough courage you did it.

And as your eyes gazed inside, all your pictures were together, from the first time you called it official, from your first gig in a bar and every anniversary you had.

You felt yourself reminisce with a pang of pain against your chest.

One thing drew your attention: it was a coffee stained piece of paper folded yet crumpled like it was meant to be hidden.

You gently opened it afraid it might break at any moment.

But as you read the first line you could feel yourself get lost in the pain again.

“Dear, Yn.

I know we argue almost everyday now and i know you’re getting tired of it. I am too.

I know you’re sick of everyone that as been putting you down from what you love the most, i know it has been frustrating you.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not being the best girlfriend to you lately—i try to be but i’m going through my own hardships myself and i dont want my feelings to burst on you.

I know I’ve said so many hurtful words to you that i didn’t mean. I know you think i hate you at the moment and i know you don’t feel my love at this time.

But, I want you to know that despite our disagreements, my love for you remains unwavering and unconditional.

i know that lately, I've been falling short of the person i promised i'd become, the person you deserve.

Yn i see how much you're struggling, how much you're hurting, and it crushes me.

but i cant do anything because the truth is i don't know how anymore.

Yn, don't give up on us. don't let go.

I swear from now on, love. I promise to be more patient, understanding. I will strive to listen to your dreams and aspirations with an open heart, knowing that they are an integral part of who you are.

Please remember, that I am here for you, and I will always be your biggest supporter.

I want you to know. I need you to know, that you're always going to be the greatest love of my life.

I love you more than my life.

whatever happens in the future, I hope you reach the future you’ve always wanted, regardless of your challenges.

I know you're not the kind to give up just yet, and that's what makes me love you endlessly and tirelessly; don't ever allow anyone, even me, to stop you from doing what you genuinely love.

I love you so much.

Yours forever,

Han.”

You felt the tears that once masked your face fall onto the crumpled paper grasped within your quivering hands.

Suddenly it felt harder to breathe as you read the letter over and over again, it just didnt feel right.

You crouched down with all your effort, holding onto a vinyl that had become dusty after being there for so long.

It was your favorite song.

She got you the record you'd always wanted as an apology.

Your legs eventually gave into the trembling and you fell to the floor, your exhausted sobbing echoing the empty room that was once filled with so much memories.

Your mind became inundated with numerous thoughts, and the pain you experienced was more intense than the day she broke your heart.

It was ironic. So ironic that she was the one to let go first.

The tears that ran down your face didn't stop, they couldn't, and you had no control over them as your breath was stolen away from you.

You would have been okay that day, everything would have been still alright but you know too well it wouldn’t because dreams reach farther than love could.

And the love you once knew could never be worth so much.

#newjeans fanfic #newjeans #newjeans imagines #newjeans x reader #kpop idol x reader #idol x reader #hanni pham x reader

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jacaerysgf · 1 year

Note

Hi can you do a Chad request? You can pick the plot!

Summary | You suffer from terrible nightmares and there's only one guy who can make you feel better.

Warnings | ex’s to lovers, fluff, comfort, short fic, not proofread

You had been suffering from terrible nightmares for a long time. Whenever you had one chad would stay up with you and hold you whispering comforting words until you fell asleep. Eventually whenever you would sleep next to Chad the nightmares had stopped completely, you finding complete comfort in him.

You and Chad had broken up about two weeks ago due to your own insecurity, he deserved somebody better, somebody that wasn't you. When you broke it off over text he spammed you and called you begging to talk to you but you never answered, opting to block him.

The nightmares had returned since you hadn't been sleeping with Chad and it sucked so bad but you couldn't admit that to him.

You avoided him in the halls when he looked at you and you cut contact from mindy, his sister, who was more than eager to question you in his stead. You had told anika to ignore him when he would come knocking on the door only for her to give you a sad look and shoo him away.

Its now the middle of the night, you're currently having a nightmare. It's awful the worst one you've had since before chad. You rush awake out of breath and screaming, seeing a figure sitting on the bed only makes it worse as you try to rush away hands grab your arms. You try to shake away before you hear his voice, “It's me, its chad its me baby its me.”

Your body unconsciously settles at the sound of his voice but you still cant seem to calm down, thrashing about and trying to shake him away.

“its me look at me baby its me.” he grabs your face and looks you dead in the eyes. Your face softens seeing him. You feel a rush of emotions as you stare into his kind eyes ones you havent seen in awhile.

He’s basically straddling you, attempting to bring you back down the way he always did, looking you dead in the eyes and placing one of your hands on his heart so you could feel it beat.

“its me.”

You finally settle down after a couple moments, “thank you…..” Your voice is hoarse and you look down awkwardly. A voice in your head reminds you that you two arent together anymore and you lean back away from him, well you cant really since he is basically sitting on you.

he frowns, “are you alright?”

You nod and dont look up at him.

“what are you doing here?”

He shifts slightly almost awkwardly, “anika called. She told me that you were having a really bad nightmare. She actually mentioned you had been having nightmares for awhile….” that traitor. “why didn't you mention it to me?”

“why wouldnt i? we arent together……”

You trail off not wanting to say it. he sighs, you can almost feel him frown.

“i know…. but i care about you. i- i dont want you to suffer alone. i told you i would always help you with these things.”

His comforting words lead your eyes to fill with tears. This was the guy you fell in love with and still loved.

you sob and he immediately wraps his arms around you bringing your head into his neck, “its okay, im here.” he rubs you back and you move closer to him. “ive missed you.”

He wrpas his arms tighter, you can feel his breath on your ear, “so have i. so much.”

he holds you for a couple more moments before he speaks again.

“can i ask you something? you never told me why we broke up, not that i need an explanation but did i do something wrong? if i did let me apologize i wanted, no i want us to work.”

“you deserve someone better than me-” too quickly he pulls back and looks you in the eyes. you suddenly feel embarrassed and attempt to hide your face but he doesn't let you, “what?”

“chad-” “you cant be serious right now.” you groan, “chad look i-” “nope im not accepting this, do you still love me?” “chad-” “do. you. still. love. me.”

you dont answer him and he sighs, “baby, you are the most beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, smart, funny and amazing person in the world. Theres no one better than you for me and ill spent forever proving it to you.”

He wipes the tears falling from your eyes and you nod, “i do im sorry im sorry i love you.”

he shushes you as he kisses your tears away, “its okay baby i love you more.”

he leans you down and gets you comfortable on the bed and cuddles you, “we’ll talk about it more in the morning, right now you need to sleep.”

as you drift off you fear you'll have a nightmare but with chad by your side you fall asleep soundly for the first time in weeks.

#chad meeks martin #chad meeks x reader #scream vi #scream six #scream #chad meeks #chad meeks martin x reader #chad meeks martin x you

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