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#I can't believe they had Mr. Russell back down
opheliaintherushes · 6 months
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It was deja vu all over again on The Gilded Age tonight; Robert Sean Leonard can't stop dying from cancer, but Morgan Spector saw factory men with guns and decided not to repeat his Boardwalk exit.
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starleska · 5 days
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73 Yards has devastated me and i have some theories
we all agree that 73 Yards was a genre-defying, harrowing episode...and i think there's some really interesting themes and ideas going on here. tw for discussion of trauma, abuse, neglect and abandonment:
i hope we're all on the same page that the Woman seems to represent Ruby's fear of abandonment, brought to life. always present, always out of the corner of her eye, and whose primary mechanic is to drive people to scorn and leave Ruby without explanation. even people who do not know her, or people she's just met, or who are incredibly warm towards her...they speak to the Woman, and they look back as if to confirm their suspicions, and then run away, maddened and horrified. it is an unbelievable stroke of genius to make the Toymaker's breaking down of the boundaries between science and fantasy bring Ruby's abandonment into being...and for Ruby to weaponise her. but that's it - as soon as Roger ap Gwilliam was taken care of, we expected the Woman to disappear, right? but that could never happen, because Ruby's fear of abandonment will never disappear...no matter how purposeful her life is, or how much she distances herself from others. the use of the cruel, distant individuals in the Welsh pub to set up Ruby sympathetically is excellent...and then, we see people approach Ruby at all levels of emotional connection, when time and again she is considered untouchable, as if her very being is contagious. and all this time, we have the fairy circle being broken and hope vanishing...with hope being the Doctor. the one man who potentially holds the key to uncovering Ruby's deepest desires - to find out why she was abandoned, and by who. and at the end of it all...even in death, Ruby doesn't find peace. she is transported into a neverending hell-loop where she is her own abandonment. the two are inseparable, inexplicably the same, because Ruby's very existence as herself is built on the bedrock of abandonment. and i think this resonates heavily with any trauma survivor...the way that our trauma and our very real anxieties brought on by that trauma are inextricable from ourselves. i think the plot with Roger ap Gwilliam shows off a very real symptom in trauma survivors: we often daydream that our hurt and pain will be useful one day - functional. and not only does Ruby get to do that...she gets to be the quiet, unsung saviour of the whole world, protecting us from a world-ending terror in spite of the abuse and neglect she's faced. she endures menial work and constant fear, while only confiding quietly in one other person...Marti, who i believe is coded as another trauma survivor due to her response to Roger (who she describes as a monster). if Ruby can't receive love and affection from anyone else, at least she can feel satisfied that she served her purpose. on a practical level, the presence of Mrs Flood and Susan Twist in this episode AGAIN gives me pause. my theory that someone here is another of the Toymaker's Legions, and is the embodiment of Story, has only deepened. the fact that we had a cold open without the title sequence, we met Susan Twist very quickly, we seem to have flipped genres for the show and Ruby was able to embark on a self-destructive wish-fulfilment saviour fantasy in real life...it all indicates to me that the boundaries between reality and fiction are fully collapsing. when Kate says things are trending towards the supernatural lately, i think we've only hit the tip of the iceberg. on a broader level: my God Russell T Davies, what a brilliant script!!! this is one of my favourite ever episodes of Doctor Who, and is absolutely my highlight for the season. huge kudos to Millie Gibson for giving such a killer performance...i am now terribly endeared to, and protective, of Ruby, and hope against hope she gets the happy ending she so deserves 💖
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youjustwaitsunshine · 2 years
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Interview with George Russell for Stuttgarter Zeitung 23.6.2022
Interviewer: Jürgen Kemmner
Translation + original article (photo) under the cut
For three years, George Russell drove for the back-of-the-grid team Williams, this year he's sitting in a Mercedes, teammate to superstar Lewis Hamilton. This brings big changes for the 24 year old Brit - both positive and negative.
Mr. Russell, do you need to pinch yourself when you see yourself ahead of Lewis Hamilton in the Championship?No, not at all. I'm not here to fight against him, we fight for race wins. Lewis is an exceptional driver and what he has achieved is incredible. I want to be at the top, not only ahead of Lewis, that's not enough.
With what expectations did you join Mercedes?I was convinced that it would be something special and different to Williams - and that it wouldn't be easy. It was enormously inspiring to me to witness the work ethic in this team, the high level everyone works at and how everyone motivates each other. I was aware it would be a massive challenge to be the teammate of Lewis. I took this step because I'm confident in my abilities.
You scored top five finishes all through the season, except for your home race in Silverstone. It was a difficult moment to watch the race from the sidelines. I can't remember going out in the first lap anywhere in my entire career. And Silverstone was twice as painful because we had the chance at a race win.
You hurried to Zhou Guanyus car after his heavy accident to help him - Your car was taken away which stopped you from starting again. Do you feel cheated?The problem is that the Stewards follow the exact wording of the regulations - but you can't write down rules for every scenario. For decisions like this, I'd wish for more delicate decision-making for the sake of the sport. But then maybe there would have been damage to my car and I'd have had to retire, or I could have gotten a penalty,..
Fans on social media were celebrating you and comparing you to racing legend Ayrton Senna who once helped a crashed colleague as well. I was convinced I had to help, I definitely didn't think of Senna there - I didn't know of the incident bback then. The crash was the worst one I've ever seen - and was directly involved in.
Social Media is a minefield, people talk bad about others and also as a sports star you need to endure quite a lot. Do you read posts about yourself? I try to limit it. You said it, sometimes on social media you're in terrible company. Sadly there's people, not few of them, who put you down, potentially only to make themselves feel better. Maybe it's also jealousy when you write something bad about someone - it's so easy to sit at home on your keyboard to insult others on the Internet because you're not face to face. That barrier has some people writing whatever they want.
In Montreal you got booed by an older fan. I smiled hearing him. But to be honest, it's genuinely pathetic. Who gives you the right to do this? What crime did I commit to get booed? People often forget that we're all human. I realized that in 2009, when I was eleven, at a motorsports event where Jenson Button was honored for his Championship title, Lewis Hamilton was there and Ross Brawn (team principal back then; publisher's note) as well. When I went to the bathroom, Ross Brawn was there - as an eleven year old, I couldn't believe meeting him there. I only knew him from TV and suddenly I realized: He's real, he's flesh and bone, just like me. This realization has stayed with me. Many people forget that when they talk badly about athletes, celebrities or politicians because they somehow believe they're aliens. It's a strange world we live in.
With Mercedes, you're more in the limelight than you were with Williams. Are you coping well with that role? (Laughs.) It was a radical change because it happened during the pandemic. 2019 I was with Williams, then the pandemic came in 2020 and 2021 where no one was about, and no fans during the races - and 2022 I'm with Mercedes and spectators are flowing to the races. That's something new. As a child I dreamt of becoming a Formula 1 driver, not about becoming famous.
McLaren driver Lando Norris said you'd changed since you started at Mercedes. You'd become more serious... I have always been serious. I know how to separate work and private life, of course you can go and have a beer with me too sometimes. Everyone changes, nobody's the person they were ten years ago. At 17, a lot of people want to party every night, with thirty that isn't the case anymore. That's also due to the circumstances. This season, I had 27 more days compared to 2021 where I had to do sponsor or PR appointments for the team. 27 days I was missing as a racing driver. When I have time off, I go to the gym and not the golf course, no matter how nice the weather is.
Which values do you want to stay true to? To stay grounded, be humble, to know where my roots are. Since I joined F1, I'm better at telling the truth for me from the bullshit. I quickly learned who's a true friend and who just wants to use me. And I've learned what I expect from life and what I need for it. My girlfriend and the handful of true friends I have know the life I lead and they accept me.
Last question: What can you accomplish in France? I expect a lot, we made great steps forwards. I think we'll be able to fight for wins this season.
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myckicade · 6 months
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'The Terror' Reactions
Two of my girlfriends have finally sat down and started watching The Terror. They've made it to the middle of episode six, and they seem to be getting the Full Terror Experience. So far, I've received mixed, and amusing reactions. They've been so good, I've kept a list.
Warning: Some spoilers ahead!
Disclaimer: We've been best friends for more than twenty years, so some of this may make me sound like a terrible friend, but... I am. So.
One is taking my dislike of Hickey as a personal offense. (To which I tell her, "Hey! More for you!"). But she's bound and determined that the sun shines out his ass, and that I have no taste in men. What my visual assessments have to do with characterization and plot, I have yet to uncover.
The other wants to dig a hole and bury Goodsir on God's back forty. I might be offended by this one, primarily because her only reasoning is, "I don't like his face."
Neither like Crozier. Mr. Doom & Gloom isn't going to be voted Miss Congeniality, any time soon. I think the whiskey has something to do with it. Call me Sherlock.
Both - and this is possibly my favorite - believe that Jopson is up to something. "Nobody that pretty is innocent." The running theory right now is that playing nursemaid is a front, and Jopson is going to use the Powers of Pretty to manipulate Crozier into doing something dreadful. (Jopzier is my flagship. This is killing me).
They've gone Switzerland on the subject of James Fitzjames. This will not stand.
Tuunbaq is a collective hysteria brought on by scurvy. Who knew?
Got a little turned around with the flashes back and forth to England. John Bridgens and Sir John Ross believed to be the same person. Questioned extensively over how one man could be on the counsel, and also serving aboard Erebus. "Old grey men, they all look alike!" Momentary hilarity ensued (but only for me).
^ I explained this with visual aides, in the form of a picture of John Lynch, side-by-side with a picture of Clive Russell. It took fifteen fucking minutes. It was a real, "Fruit... Fruit! Tits... Tits!" Moment. (If you don't get that, please go watch Black Sails).
I couldn't figure out who the fuck they meant when they mentioned Captain Morgan to me, this morning. "I've watched this series fifteen times. Who the shit are you looking at?" It was Le Vesconte, y'all. During his announcement of the Carnivale. I had to hang up the phone.
"The surgeon and the grumpy doctor eyefucking is speaking to me." <- Left on my FB page.
"Why didn't they grow a garden below deck?" is possibly the dopey-est thing I've ever heard either of them say. Love them.
"I didn't know tin cans caused scurvy!" I amend my previous statements.
I can't wait for them to get off the ships. While entirely entertaining, my sanity can't take much more of this.
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stars-and-loops · 3 months
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Break from the angst for a silly little slightly fluffy fic. Also from now on, pink text is directly addressing you and not part of a fic to avoid confusion.
Late one evening after dinner, those who wished to speak longer had joined Castti in her drawing room with a cup of tea. Her, Olberic and Cyrus were deep in conversation about the wonders of Osterra.
"Atlasdam sounds amazing," Castti said in awe.
"The culture was lovely, but I found many of the people weren't fond of me," Cyrus sighed.
"What do you mean?"
Cyrus thought back to the university where at least half the staff disliked him. Some believed he was a predator, while others simply hated him for exposing Yvon and Lucia's crimes.
"Lots of grudges. I wasn't afraid to expose others for crimes they had committed. My boss contemplated firing me when I told him that one of his best employees robbed a library!"
"Oh I remember Russell," Olberic laughed, "He was a handful."
They laughed and laughed about the journey to retrieve the stolen tome, and yet, Cyrus could not bring himself to tell them that history had repeated itself. Of course, he knew not that the thief was in that very town.
The door creaked as it slowly opened and a young girl stuck her head in.
"Mr. Cyrus?" Mira asked.
"What is it?"
"I can't sleep."
"Oh dear, that's no good," Cyrus stood, "Excuse me for a moment."
Cyrus took Mira's hand and she led him to the guest room she shared with Tressa and Primrose. Her roommates were out exploring town, so she had been left alone. She lay in bed once more and Cyrus sat beside her, gently stroking her forehead.
"Is it the scary visions again?" he asked, to which she nodded, "You're safe here. If any monsters even came close to Clockbank, Osvald, Tressa and I would take care of them!"
"They got my dad."
"They... What?"
Mira had only briefly mentioned a fear of monsters, but she would not go into detail. Even thinking of it, she would freeze and cry.
"A man destroyed the wall my dad made. He let all the monsters in and they got my dad," Mira whispered, "My dad's the best magician ever, but they got him. My sister and the priests tried to save him, but..."
Her throat was caught in her breath and Mira couldn't breathe. Her attempts at breathing were hardly successful as she had begun hyperventilating. The room before her spun and blurred as she wept.
"Hey, hey Mira, it's okay, I'm here," Cyrus hurriedly said.
He took her in his arms and held her tight, rocking back and forth as she struggled to breathe.
"We had guests. They talked about Osterra, like you and Tressa," she murmured, "The monsters almost got them too."
"... What were their names?"
"Therion and Ophilia. Ophilia would braid my hair, she told me all about the sacred flame. She was nice. Therion played tag with me. They helped me get to New Delsta. They left to get help and I was alone, but they didn't come back."
Ophilia and Therion were out there, somewhere, maybe even nearby. The thoughts raced in Cyrus' mind as he silently prayed for their safety, wishing they had not been fatally wounded.
He could not let Mira worry and he continued to comfort her. Eventually, her odd breathing turned to snoring. He lay her down and tucked her in. Silently, he returned to the drawing room where Castti and Olberic still spoke.
"She's an adorable little kid," Cyrus muttered.
"Are you alright?" Olberic asked.
"She talked about Ophilia and Therion."
"They're some of your friends, right? The cleric and the thief?" Castti asked.
"Yes, they were part of our group," Cyrus confirmed, "I've reason to believe they're alive somewhere near here."
Oops nvm, fluff turned into more story stuff. Sad!
im gonna be violent
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yesttoheaven · 4 years
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GOOD GIRLS GO TO HELL
CHAPTER 1
pairing: arvin russell x female!reader
summary: In the eyes of extremely strict parents, 'good' girls go to hell, but they don't know that they are handing over their own daughter to the devil – known to all as Rev. Teagardin.
wc: 3.8k
warnings: language, mentions (not depictions) of abuse, manipulation, religious fanaticism, angst
a/n: This idea has been on my mind since the day I watched the movie, so... here we go!
English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.
Y/N – your name
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"I don't usually interfere that way. It would be best if she came here willingly. She needs to be open to accept all the blessings that God will bring to her life." Rev. Teagardin took a step forward, considering the request of a mother and father completely desperate for the salvation of their only daughter.
"We tried everything. We found great references about a boarding school called 'Good Pastor', but a week later they called to report that she had run away! Our daughter appeared a few days later in the company of three strange girls. One of them is a single mother, our Y/N shouldn't hang out with those kind of people." The woman's words contained disgust. She was tired of watching her daughter ruin her own life. The girl had become a topic of conversation in the town and a shame for the whole family.
"The truth is, we don't know what to do with Y/N. Day after day she becomes more rebellious. She doesn't respect us." Mr. Henson shared the same agony as his wife, but both see Preston as the solution to this problem.
"We don't want our only daughter to go to hell! You need to help us, Reverend. We believe that you are the only one capable of driving the devil out of her. In the name of God, save our little Y/N!"
In absolute silence, the preacher walked near the window, watching Y/N. She was sitting on the hood of Mr. Henson's car and her body was lulled by the gentle breeze that touched the skirt of the dress she wore, revealing her legs that should have been silky smooth. Smiling, the man looked at the girl's parents, knowing exactly what to do to save Y/N's soul.
"I'm glad you came to me. God will be my guide to help your daughter. Now, I would like to talk to her for a while."
Extremely grateful, Y/N's parents agreed and left the church for a few seconds. When they returned, Y/N was with them. The girl's curious eyes moved from side to side, until they found Preston Teagardin with his hands on his hips. He was at the altar, the cross appearing behind his head left him with a divine aura, but the girl remembers the day she saw the preacher humiliate – indirectly – the chicken liver dish that Emma Russell prepared with such affection. If he said those horrible things to a religious woman like Emma, Y/N didn't want to imagine what he might be thinking about her at the moment. Maybe he was wondering why she hasn't started to burn while walking on sacred ground, but it was him who was burning. Burning with desire. A sin that he identifies in others, but never in himself.
"Hello, you must be Y/N." The man approached, his eyes shining like a hungry predator who had just found the perfect prey. "You don't usually visit the house of God."
"But I'm sure that is about to change." Y/N's mother replied, looking at her daughter hopefully.
Y/N may not be an especially easy girl to handle, but she never understood why her parents didn't respect her space. She never visited the church often and that number dropped to zero when they started to force her to go with them. Over the years, Knockemstiff residents have turned religion into a disease. It's close to insanity and Y/N Henson doesn't want that for her life. Despite being seen as a sinner, she still prays every night. She gets down on her knees and talks to God.
"Dear, your dad and I brought you here to talk to Reverend Teagardin..."
"What? You said you would come here to confess and then we would go home!" Y/N protested angrily. She was ready to retrace her steps to the exit when her father took her arm.
"Y/N, we just want the best for you. Talking to the reverend can be a good start."
"And we are not giving you another option." Mrs. Henson completed, remaining firm in her decision. "Your father and I agreed not to participate in this conversation. We will walk around the town and then we come back here to get you."
"I can take her home... If you agree." Teagardin said, hiding his real intentions and touching the girl's shoulder. She was so small around him and looked so vulnerable. He smiled when he realized that.
"Oh, that's very kind, Reverend. Thanks." Y/N's mother replied, feeling enchanted by the man's benevolence. "Be a good girl." She said, kissing her daughter's forehead.
The preacher accompanied them to the door and having no other option Y/N walked through the church, staring at the cross nailed to the wall. She never felt that she was turning away from God, but looking back is exactly what she did.
"Now it's just me, you and Him." The reverend's words brought Y/N out of her own thoughts and she turned to him, crossing her arms in the process. This made her breasts more visible under the black dress she wore and Teagardin noticed.
"I can go and you tell my parents that you talked to me, but it didn't work because I'm a hopeless case. It's simple."
"I can't lie to your parents. I also don't think you're a hopeless case, Y/N." The man admitted, going to the first bench and sitting down. "We can talk?"
"Like... about my sins?"
"No. A normal conversation. Why don't you start by telling me about your life?" He patted the bench, silently inviting her to sit beside him.
Y/N didn't understand how a simple conversation could help, but she found the idea pleasant. Showing a shy smile, she approached Teagardin and sat down next to him, leaving a space between their bodies. Once again she looked at the cross, beginning to speak:
"I work for Ms. Fowler, she has a chicken coop and some pigs... I don't do much, but I like to help take care of animals and she says they like me too." At that moment Y/N looked at the preacher and imagined that she would find him with an expression of disinterest. The same expression of disinterest that her parents show when she tried to start a conversation or simply tell how her day was. They were always busy, but Teagardin was completely focused on everything she said and with a small smile on the corner of his lips.
"So, do you take care of the animals? I'm impressed, I don't know many girls who risk their lives by entering a pigsty."
"It's a dangerous place." She let slip a sweet laugh, feeling light, as she hadn't felt for a long time. "I understand them."
"I can see that you have a great relationship with animals, but what about your friends? Tell me a little about them." Those words were enough to destabilize Y/N. Any sign of happiness disappeared from her face and everything went gray, just like the view through the church windows. The rain was close and Y/N controlled herself not to start crying.
Like a sniffer dog, Preston felt this was a sensitive subject for the girl – maybe an open wound – and waited patiently until she decided to share it with him.
"I was never good at making friends, but I used to have a friend at school. Her name was Isabella. We were inseparable, but one day her father received a job offer in another city... Despite the distance, she called me every day in the late afternoon" The nostalgia was noticeable in her voice and the way her face softened with small memories. Isabella and Y/N were like sisters, but Mrs. Henson never approved of that friendship. "I am three years without news of my best friend. She never called or answered my letters and I don't know why, reverend."
"Have you never been to visit her?"
"My parents won't let me out of Knockemstiff."
"You don't have to go alone. They can go with you..."
"They don't care about me or what I want." Y/N said, shaking her shoulders as if this feeling was mutual, but deep down she knew it wasn't. "My mom said I have the power to turn people away and if Isabella walked away from me, it is certainly my fault."
"Your mother shouldn't say that." Teagardin looked deeply hurt. The situation was worse than he imagined, this family needs his help.
Y/N needs his help.
"Well, I lost Isabella's friendship, but I got three new friends!" The girl informed, as if she had finally found her place. "Two of them I met at the boarding school. The third helped us to escape and she has a beautiful baby. They work together in a bar away from the city..."
"What do they do in this bar?" The reverend had some suspicions, but he wanted to hear her confess.
"They... dance." Y/N said slowly. "I know it can look wrong, but they are good people and I don't understand why everyone looks at these girls with..."
"Have you ever been there?" Preston needed to know, but the girl just bowed her head. Sighing deeply, he stretched his arm over her shoulders, ending the distance between their bodies. "It's all right... God is merciful and benevolent. He forgives all of our sins, but He does not forgive lies."
"It was only once. I swear!" In the same instant that the words left her lips, she hid her face in Teagardin's chest and he took the opportunity to hug her, and feel the sweet perfume of her hair. It smelled like innocence.
"You made a mistake by going there. That place is not for family girls."
"I was just tired of everything... So, I thought about going there to have a drink and forget about the problems."
"Learn one thing..." The man said softly, running his fingers through her hair. "When problems arise and you feel alone, start praying. God is your best friend. And I am also here to help you."
"Thanks, reverend."
"Never go back to that place again. You shouldn't be drinking... and smoking."
"Wait..." The girl moved away from Teagardin, looking him straight in the eye. "Did my parents say that?"
"I was in town when I saw you smoking with a boy. He approached you and passed the smoke to your mouth... And then he kissed you. Is he your boyfriend?"
"Oh, you saw me with Arvin..." Shame consumed Y/N, turning her cheeks into two tomatoes. "But we are not together. It was our first kiss... My first kiss."
The moment they shared in the car had been magical. Arvin was always different from the Knockemstiff boys. He never judged Y/N for her actions. He understood her, but sometimes some problems were so big that they made the girl run away from him. All Arvin wanted was to hold her in his arms and protect from all the evil in the world.
"You need to stay away from these people. Starting with this young guy." The preacher's words captured Y/N's attention, confusing her. "You can't see it now, but those friendships are not good for you. They are driving you away from your true purpose. And Arvin Russell is taking advantage of your innocence to..."
"Arvin would never do that." She stated in all letters, not letting him finish the assumption. "I think... I think he likes me."
"There is a big difference between love and carnal attraction, and boys his age think of only one thing." Teagardin insisted, using a peaceful tone of voice. He was so convincing, that despite knowing Arvin for a long time, Y/N wondered about the boy's real intentions. He was always kind and respectful, or maybe that's what she thought, but with the help of the reverend she was beginning to understand, and the feeling of being used was difficult to digest. "I saw the way he looked at you... I saw the sin in his eyes."
"This cannot be true... W-We are not talking about the same person! He's d-different!"
"It doesn't matter who you believed in all this time or what you accepted to... to be like them. In the end, you are alone. You know it." When Preston finished, she was completely broken. It was cruel, but someone needed to open her eyes. Y/N deserved the truth. "I know it is difficult, but I am here for you." He buried her against his chest in a bear hug, wishing feel her soft, warm body in his arms again. Y/N returned the hug — and then started to cry.
Her friends were not her friends.
Her parents were right.
She felt confused. Lost. But the reverend was beside her to show a new path free from sin and delusions.
"Do you know Proverbs 28:13?" He asked, holding her face in his hands. With his fingertips he wiped away a few tears and she smiled, shaking her head. "Whoever tries to hide his sins will not succeed, but the one who confesses his sins and leaves them behind will find mercy. Are you ready for this?"
"Yes, reverend." That was the confirmation he needed.
Preston Teagardin always believed that he had a special connection with God. With the right words he had the power to reach the hearts of these girls and offer them redemption. In his dark mind, they were privileged to be touched by a holy man like him. He was doing them a favor. And now it's Y/N's turn.
"First, you need to be free from your sins." The man looked with adoration for the little fallen angel. Slowly, he touched her knees, feeling the smooth skin and after a sigh, the girl was in his hands.
"Reverend..."
"Shhh. Just trust me." He said when his hands disappeared under her dress. His touch was sacred, something she had never experienced, but Y/N's conscience screamed that this was wrong. "Stand up so I can take your panties off. I need to feel you..." She got up, but ran quickly away from him, escaping his dirty hands.
Disappointment appeared in her eyes in the form of tears. It was impossible not to feel used. Again. Influenced by him, Y/N believed that her friends were a problem in her life and that they were moving her away from God's plans, but the real sinner is inside the church. His understanding, concern and kindness never existed. It was all part of the game. He needed to earn her trust before he could attack.
"You... You are a wolf in sheep's clothing! A liar! I thought for the first time someone was understanding my side, but you just want to fuck with me!"
"You got it wrong..."
"S-Stay away from me!" Y/N warned when Teagardin tried to approach. Fear coursed through her veins, spreading through her body like a drug. She didn't know what to do, but she knew she didn't want to be touched by him that way. "If you approach me, I swear I make a scandal! The whole city will know who you really are!"
"No one will believe you." He took a step forward. "You need help. I'm the only one who can..."
"Stop that shit! Do not say that the devil is in me, when you are trying to abuse a girl who is old enough to be your daughter! You are the devil, Teagardin!" For the first time she saw the anger in his eyes. Preston would never agree with that, but that is his true face. He is the devil in disguise and this was confirmed the instant he advanced on her.
Y/N ran to the exit, screaming desperately for help, even though she knew she was alone in this nightmare. With shaking hands, she tried to open the door, but the reverend took her in his arms. Compared to the girl’s small, slender body, he was stronger than she was, but Y/N resisted and hit her knee in the middle of his legs, reaching his weak point. The man let out a loud growl and walked away, seeking support on one of the wooden benches. Taking advantage of the distraction, Y/N opened the door and ran as fast as she could. Teagardin thought of running after her to finish what he started, but he gave up as soon as he saw her cross the threshold of the church, running in the rain as if her life depended on it. She didn't look back, just kept running until she disappeared into the trees.
...
The day turned into night, covering everything with its dark cloak, while rain fell mercilessly on Knockemstiff. Y/N stumbled along the road, hugging her own body in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, mixing with the raindrops, but the girl's mind was elsewhere.
After what happened at the church, her faith was in pieces. She always knew that bad men walked on Earth, but she never imagined that the preacher was one of them. The way he touched her was disgusting. She wanted to scream, take the pain out of her chest and run back home to tell her parents what happened, but Teagardin's words were stuck in her head, hurting her:
"In the end, you are alone. You know it."
"No one will believe you."
Unexpectedly – or maybe that was a divine sign – a car approached the road Y/N was on. She was surprised to hear the noise of the engine and looked back. Despite the rain and the headlight blinding her for a few moments, Y/N recognized the old car and the boy on the other side certainly recognized her too. Arvin left his truck without a second thought, not caring about the pouring rain wetting his clothes in a matter of seconds.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, needing to raise his voice so she could hear. The girl opened her mouth to reply, but gave up, looking away.
Arvin realized that something was wrong. It was common to see Y/N walking around the city, but not in these circumstances. Before she looked away, he noticed the pain in her eyes. It was no secret to him that she had a difficult relationship with her parents, but this time it was different.
For a moment the worry made him forget that they were both still in the rain and when he realized this, the boy immediately guided her to the car. When she was safely in the passenger seat, he bypassed the vehicle and took the driver's seat. Rain was no longer a problem, but the cold persisted and Arvin grabbed his jeans jacket from the back seat.
"Here." He handed it to her and Y/N mumbled a small 'thanks', wearing the jacket. "So... what happened? You are far from home. It is dangerous to go out in the middle of a storm like this..."
"My intention is to stay away from home. The storm is an extra." The girl tried to relax, hiding her real emotions but it was obvious that she was not well.
"Did you argue with your parents again?"
"I would prefer that." She replied, forcing a laugh. Getting into an argument with her parents was common for her and seemed small compared to what actually happened. But what really happened was suffocating her. "I can tell you everything, r-right?"
"You know you can." Arvin said, holding her hand. The simple contact made their hearts accelerate and Y/N was grateful to have him by her side.
Feeling encouraged, she began to tell what happened at the church. The fact that her parents insisted that the devil was inside her, made Arvin angry. He never understood what the problem was with Mr. and Mrs. Henson about this. Y/N was not sick. All she needed was love and they never gave it to her.
Y/N didn't want to delve into the details of her conversation with the new preacher, but Arvin heard the fear in her voice when she mentioned his name. She said he was good with words, and very persuasive. He easily won her trust and that was her worst mistake. Arvin stopped listening when she said that the man's hands disappeared under the dress she was wearing. Anger consumed him quickly, making his blood boil and he clapped his hands on the steering wheel. With a vision blurred by tears, Y/N looked at him with concern. The tension was clear throughout his body; his jaw was tightly clenched and his hands were shaking as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Arvin always had an explosive temper – paternal inheritance –, especially when the people he cared about were hurt.
"The preacher will never touch you again. I promise." He stated with conviction, bringing his attention back to Y/N. She looked tired, crying silently and the boy opened his arms for her to snuggle against his chest. Playing with a lock of her hair, he said: "I always knew there was something wrong with him. I should be there for you..."
"It's okay, Arvin. I'll be fine and I'll forget what happened... I just need to stay away from the church. This is easy for me." Y/N knew it wouldn't be so easy, but to calm him down, everything was welcome.
"You cannot protect him."
"I am not protecting him, but I know you..." She murmured softly, running a hand over his chest. "My life is a mess, you are the only one who believes in me. So, I'm just asking you not to do anything stupid... Because... Because I need you here." Arvin relaxed at her words. It was nice to know that she wanted him around in this difficult time. Y/N would have his support forever. And his love. For her sake, he decided to act with caution, but this does not mean that Teagardin will not suffer the consequences of his actions.
With undisclosed feelings, they remained embraced, just enjoying each other's company. It had been a long day. Arvin remembered the fallen tree in the middle of the road, forcing him to take the long way home, but that path brought him to Y/N. He was happy that it was he who found her in the middle of this storm.
"You need to rest. I will take you home." The boy broke the silence and Y/N moved away from him, shaking her head.
"No! I don't want to go home! My parents... they go..."
"I'll take you to my house." Arvin said, catching her cheek with his hand and watching the panic disappear from her eyes. With a smile, he added: "Grandma misses you."
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• a/n: This is the first fic I publish here and I'm very nervous!! (Possibly I will do a second part of this) Btw, criticism is welcome!!
(CHAPTER TWO HERE)
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bowieemeddow · 4 years
Text
TRINITY. (Queen Fanfiction)
Part 1 // Runaway.
Summary: Margaret McCullugh comes to the realisation that her life is a total mess. After an argument she realises she’s had enough; she grabs her bags and runs away.
Note:Hi guys this is the first chapter of my new fanfiction. I’m not the best writer and this is my first time so please go easy on me; there will be grammar and spelling mistakes throughout this chapter. Feedback will be greatly appreciated 🙂
Warnings; Swearing, sexual assault, bad writing, slight Scottish slang (I’m from Scotland and I write the way I talk sorry 😉✌🏻)
Enjoy.
Thursday // May 1970
"I've never wanted to punch him in the face more in my life than at this point of time." I thought to myself as I glared at him across the dining table. Even from what felt like a mile away; I could still see that smug look on his Greg's face.
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"Margret! Are you even listening to me?" I tore my focus from my bastard of a step father to my bastard of a mother. "You'll be meeting Thomas next thursday remember. To talk about arrangements."
Ah Thomas Russel. Son to a millionaire family; him being a successful doctor in the making at 22 and is apparently a distant relative of some foreign royal family (to be fair I wasn't listening to the shit leaving my mothers mouth)
The cherry on top of it all; I've never actually met the boy and I'm his fiancé.
"Poor Thomas." Gina; my younger sister mumbled under her breath while eating her dinner.
"Mind your own business you little shit!" I spat kicking her harshly under the table. Believe me I know this makes me look bad but I promise you I'm not a bad sister; I was actually excited when I found out I had another sibling on the way. I loved her even when she was a newborn. It was when she started talking; she turned into a sneaky little bully and mummy's favourite.
"That's enough don't you dare kick your sister again!" She snapped at me.
I cringed at my mothers comment; more because of the way she said it. Trying to act as posh as possible; trying to mask the natural Glaswegian accent she's had her whole life; the same thick apparently "rough" accent I also have yet Gina never developed it as bad as me, my dad had the rough accent and I was a daddy’s girl... before he left us.
"Why do I have to marry him. I didn't him pick him, hell I haven't even met him! Marrying me off to becoming nothing but a trophy wife? Fully dependable on my husband with a big empty house full of loads of children. Nothing to do except cooking and cleaning-"
"Can we please change the topic?! I don't feel like sending you upstairs again." My mum sighed
"Oh mother!" Gina exclaimed making me jump; her bloody voice goes right through me.
"This dinner is absolutely amazing!" I chuckled to myself quietly, Gina is so far up mums arse it's embarrassing.
"Thank you darling I made it myself."
Yeah right did she make this shit, she doesn't even know how to use the stove, it was the cook that made it. All of it is vegan since "meat is the reason why your acne is so bad and you've starting to lose that figure Margaret, you simply don't take proper care of yourself."
“Oh god I forgot! I was meant to take you bra shopping today.” Mum informed Gina
“But she’s only 13 mum. I never got my first bra till I was 15?” I argued, Gina got everything she wanted without having to even lift a finger.
“You should go with them Margaret. You wear too small a bra better go up a size sweets." He smirked away as he took a drink of his wine that's likely more expensive than everything I own.
At that point I was so pissed off I grabbed the closest thing to me which was a potato from my plate funnily enough and threw it at his head. If I wasn’t so pissed off I think would’ve found it difficult to keep a straight face.
Friday// May 1970
While sitting in period 7 English I thought back to last night.
After successfully hitting Greg's big head with a potato for his inappropriate comment about his step daughter's breasts; Mum took his side and got sent upstairs without eating anything for the rest of the night; not like I wanted to eat any of that shit anyway.
"God he's so cute!" The girl next to me squealed to her friends who were both in front of her; their chairs turned from their tables to form a circle that I was sadly apart of. I wasn friends with the three girls; Tracey, Yasmine and Gemma were the popular girls, the best housewives in the making.
I looked down at the newspaper which Tracey had in her hands, it was crumpled up due to her "fan girl" moment taking over her senses.
"The Gregory Special." The newspaper was called;
Only rich wankers read it.
"Thomas Russel is ready to settle down but who's the lucky girl?"
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It said with a picture of the boy himself below it . Wasn't his best picture; he was probably flirting with some random girl in while the photo was being taken.
"So who is the bitch huh?" Gemma spat as Tracey read away at the newspaper trying to figure it out.
"YOU! Mrs Reynolds wants to see you in her office.” My English teacher shouted pointing at me it made the three girls jump back to their original spots as if they were actually listening to the lesson.
Shit what have I done now; I usually lose track at this point.
While putting my things in my bag I looked over at the three girls to see them scanning back through the newspaper frantically to find out who the "lucky woman" was.
I accidentally let out a chuckle of sympathy which caught their attention.
“I’m sorry, is there something you want to say?” Jemma snapped.
"Yeah I do actually since you three can't read for shit. Page 24." I sassed back and waited a moment.
"Margaret McCullugh? Who the bloody hell is that?!" I rolled my eyes at the stupidness.
"Margaret McCullugh. Now." My teacher shouted across the classroom which I nodded to standing up and grabbing my bag and coat with a grin on my face.
The three girls had their mouths wide open once they put two and two together; it was me.
"Bye girls." I whispered chuckling while leaving the classroom.
...
"Please tell me you are joking Miss McCullugh?" Mrs Reynolds pleaded with me
"What's wrong with what I want to do once I leave here?" I argued back.
"Your mother is a politician; she could bloody well be the prime minister in a several years time. How is she gonna get there with her child wanting to do.... textile design?" She gagged at the though of me becoming something that wasn't a doctor or lawyer.
"Why does it fucking matter anyway I can't even do what I want. My mums already set up my whole life." I argued back slouching in my seat with my arms crossed over my chest.
Fuck being ladylike.
"Ah your talking about your engagement with Thomas Russel. Your mother wants you to just be okay, she's worked hard for where she is right now and it was a risky thing she done to get there. She doesn't want you taking any risks when you go onto be a politician or a lawyer-"
"Or a textile design artist." I corrected for her not giving in to her manipulation.
"Margaret I know you okay. Through these past 6 years that you've been in this school you've been very strong willed and feministic attitude to social issues and topics."
"Damn right-"
"But I'm sorry to burst your bubble but this is a patriarchal society we are living in. Woman will not change society. Ever."
I was beyond pissed at this moment of time. I shot up off my seat and slammed down both my hands on her desk in order to shut her up.
"Fucking watch me then!”
...
Saturday // May // 1970
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"Hey chickadee." Tana smiled as she came into one of the private rooms of the pub, she lifted my feet and plopped herself next to me in the booth then put my feet back down to they were resting on her lap.
"Hi." I said stretching slightly as I shut my notebook over immediately and set it down on the table.
Tana was probably one of my only friends at this point of time; the moment she turned 19 she was allowed to decorate her parents bar; to which she called me up and asked to borrow my creative mind for help. Before it was just an old looking bar where young ones likes to hang out; now it was a modern neon, rock music bar.
"Glam Rock" it was called and it was placed in a more poverty ridden area of Glasgow. If my mum found out I was here I'd get murdered.
Every Saturday night people from everywhere would come here and celebrate a new "generation" as they called it.
"This new rock generation is gonna grow everywhere. Where men dress like women and women dress like men. Completely and utterly flamboyant!" I remember Tana saying to me when I first came across this bar; it was a Saturday morning and she was getting ready for a party. I was here because I was trying to find the record shop since they sell limited editions for half off.
"We just need someone to spread Glam Rock to every corner of the world."
"HELLO EARTH TO MARGARET!" She shouted snapping her fingers in front of me.
"Huh?" I said snapping back to reality.
"I said were you writing something?" She said pointing to my notebook, I didn't answer yet again because I was too busy admiring what she was wearing.
"For fuck sake! Have you took something?" She laughed trying to get my attention again.
"Sorry, sorry just had a long day. Thinking about what kind of punishment I'll get this time once I make my way home." I chuckled
"Anyways what did you say again?"
"Writing songs... oh and you've also got your camera."
"When am I not writing songs or taking photos Tana?" I said sitting up to grab my vodka and lemonade and down it.
"That's very true. So, let's see what photos you took." She said as she pulled off her slip on heels so she could fold them in a basket.
I put down the two photos I took on the table.
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"Have you got a pen." I asked her as she admired the photos.
"Umm.. yeah I think somewhere in they drawers." She said turning her head to the left to show me where it was.
"This bar does look fucking amazing, you have to admit it."
"It's because I decorated it Tana. I hate to toot my own horn here but I'm fucking brilliant at decorating." I laughed as I took one of the photos and wrote the location and date behind it; then done the same with the other.
"You're good at everything you do it does my head in." Tana complained with a groan as she ran her fingers through her black long curly hair.
"I'm not."
"You are. You can paint, you create these amazing clothes, you can play the piano like no one else. You're an amazing singer..." my smile dropped as I grabbed both the photos from Tana's grip and stuck them in my bra for safekeeping before sticking the the pen back in the drawer; the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop, or more like you could here me slamming the drawer shut.
"Maggie-"
"I'm not a singer." I said interrupting her.
"Correction, your mum says your not a singer. But frankly love, you're  the best singer I've ever heard. You should join a band."
"That'll never happen."
....
Sunday // May 1970
Walking up the driveway of my massive house barefoot with my heels in my hand, my make up and hair a mess I knew I was in for it.
I accidentally fell asleep at Tana's last night and now it's 8am in the morning.
I walked in the house and shut the door behind me.
"MARGARET BEATRIX MCCULLUGH!" I heard my mum screech as the sound of her heels became louder and louder.
"God don't say my middle name." I cringed with my face scrunched up; a massive migraine was starting to take its toll on me.
"Where were you?" She shrieked once again; I'm starting to see stars with how bad my freaking headache is. It's way to bright in this house.
"I'm sorry I fell asleep at Tana's I should've called you it's my mistake I won't let it happen again."
One thing to know about me; when I'm in the wrong I apologise.
One thing to know about my mum; she throws my apology right back in my face and calls me immature.
"TANAS!" She started to trail behind me as I clumsily made my way up the stairs to my bedroom door. Once I reached the door I got an overwhelming feeling that I was about to vomit so I stopped for a moment to calm myself down.
I leaned my forehead against the cool marble that the whole house was made from to cool myself down.
"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU! NO GOING TO ROCK GLAM, NO DRINKING, NO KISSING RANDOM GIRLS OR BOYS."
She caught a glimpse at my notebook; purple velvet and green floral exterior. She knew exactly what it was and snatched it from my hand.
"Hey!-"
"AND NO MAKING SONGS. NO SINGING SONGS I TOLD YOU NOT TO SING OR WRITE THEY DIRTY LYRICS."
I snatched the book from her and held it right to my chest. This book was my lyrics, my ideas, my thoughts, feeling. My whole life.
"ITS CALLED ROCK MUM! Get with the times, it's the Beatles that are popular now, not fucking hymns." I snapped as I walked into my room. Before I got the chance to shut the door over she was already invading my space.
"I don't give a shit what it's called. Stop it okay! That part of your life is over. It's time to grow up and face reality. You are engaged-"
"I'm not marrying him you can fuck right off." I looked at her through my full length mirror as she walked up to me. Her expensive heels clicking against my flooring as she walked closer to me.
"You're an ungrateful human being you know that. I found you a man; a millionaire who can take care of you for life you won't have to work a day in your life-"
"Yeah that's what I'll do, I'll go right ahead and marry a man I don't marry so that I'll birth all his kids and be his perfect dumb trophy wife for life. You worked hard to get where you are, why can't I work hard in something I wane you do. I don't need a man to do that." I said smothered in sarcasm making my mother roll her eyes.
"You and your bloody pride. Here's the real world Margaret; a woman's purpose main purpose in life is to get married and as the bible preached, have children. You'll never be anything different." She spat.
"You're going to the Russel's household on Thursday morning  for you to plan the wedding with your fiancé with a big bloody smile on your face you hear me?"
I chuckled softly as I walked up so our faces our almost touching; her Chanel No.5 tickling my nose.
"I'd love to see you try." I spat in her face. I suddenly gasped as her hand connected with my cheek forcing my face to the side as my cheek started to warm up almost instantly.
"I hate you, you're not my daughter you know! I should've aborted you when I had the chance you know that! If it killed me oh well, as long AS YOU WHERE NEVER BORN." She screamed in my face, she turned to leave my room to meet Greg leaning against the door frame.
"Are you okay Darling?" Greg asked my mum; his voice all sweet and soft making my scoff and roll my eyes.
She ignored him and left in anger.
"Would you get the fuck out of my room?!" I asked, his head snapped from watching my mum as she made her way down the landing and down the stairs to me.
"Seems you need to be put in your place a bit huh?" He asked as he walked up to me, so close to my face I could feel his breath hit my skin.
"I don't see the bad thing about being a trophy wife Sweets? You'd be a damn good one anyway."He chuckled as he looked at me up and down licking his lips. His hands were resting on my arse ready to give it a spank. A sudden spur of anger and confidence caused me to push him back.
"Touch me again and I swear I'll rip your tongue out."
"You don't have the guts." He simply said before leaving the room.
He's right I didn't have the guts, I didn't have the guts to go to the police and ruins my mother's career that she worked so hard for when it got out to the media that her husband is a child molester.
So Ive kept my mouth shut for years.
I feel hot years fill my eyes, I take a long deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down while looking up at the ceiling to try and stop the crying; I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
That's when I found myself packing a suitcase, grabbing my passport, some money I had. A couple of outfits to keep me going two or three weeks.
I grabbed my notebook, my Polaroid camera and my box full of Polaroid's and squashed it all into one massive suitcase.
I had to leave the rest so I could move quickly.
___
An hour later my family left to go out for lunch without me. I sat at the window and watched them leave.
I watched them get smaller smaller until eventually I couldn't seem them at all.
I would never see them again.
I grabbed my suitcase, grabbed the keys to my mums car and fucked off out of there with the intention of never returning again.
_____
I just had to put Harry Styles in there somewhere.
Sorry not sorry 🤪😩
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reviewsbyracine · 4 years
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I READ A BOOK: “My Dark Vanessa” by Kate Elizabeth Russell
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I can't remember the last time reading a book made me feel physically ill. I've been made uncomfortable by books before and I'm always down for a book to make me feel challenged. However, despite how riveting a page turner it ultimately was, Kate Elizabeth Russell's My Dark Vanessa turned my stomach the wrong way.
My Dark Vanessa follows Vanessa Wye, a fifteen-year-old at a Maine boarding school who is seduced by her English teacher Mr. Strane. The book jumps back and forth between two timelines, the first with Vanessa as a student as she begins her affair and the second seventeen years later, when an article is published exposing Strane of other underage harassments and the school's habit of covering up his behavior. Throughout it all, Vanessa never considers herself a victim and instead believes her relationship with Strane to be real and consensual, her stubbornness destroying her friendships, her academic prospects, and any semblance of a normal life she once had.
Russell's writing of Vanessa and Strane's relationship was too realistic at times, making every sexual encounter the two have feel sick and wrong. You want to shake Vanessa and wake her up to the realities of her situation. What makes it worse is knowing that Vanessa still has confused feelings about Strane as an adult, which removes any hope the reader might have had that Vanessa could live a normal life.
Despite the uncomfortable way the book made me feel, I hate to admit that My Dark Vanessa was a real page-turner. Vanessa is a seriously flawed protagonist, one who was groomed at an early age and simply never had the opportunities to know any better. Viewing the experience from her unique perspective was fascinating, although I'll be happy to never revisit My Dark Vanessa again.
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