#I blocked and unblocked her so she isn't following me

[fleshbride]

PRESENTING . . . HOUSE OF BALLOONS!

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ SITUATIONSHIP GETO SUGURU X F!READER

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ CW : extreme toxicity; possessiveness; stalking; relationship sabotage; obsession; suguru is CRAZY, bro is an actual mastermind; reader cheats on her bf w/ suguru; consensual recording; manipulation; reader is a bit dumb; pet names used are baby, dollface, minx, lovely, angel; smut; dry humping, throat fucking, throat bulging, fingering, ruined orgasms, breeding kink, baby trapping, a mix of degradation and praise, breath play, slight bondage, edging & overstimulation, dumbification, sado-madochism, pain play, branding (suguru puts a cigarette out on reader three times as a way of claiming), cervix fucking, sir kink, HINTS of somnophilia (brief description of suguru fucking reader while she’s asleep); dick drunk reader; suguru has a dick piercing; pregnancy.

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ wc : 8.3k

⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ guys this is actually so nasty and feral, im so so so sorry. this is based off that jjk men loyalty post and suguru was placed in the middle because he would situationship the FUCK out of you. and worse? i’d probably fall for it and do it too. so then i wrote an entire fucking fic. and i’m so so sorry because this is actually pure filth. i don’t know what happened to me guys… suguru is just actually so nghh

A SITUATIONSHIP WITH SUGURU GETO is essentally the same as signing a contract giving away the rest of your life. because once you entered it, you were no longer able to get out. it started sweet, of course. suguru was good to you, despite not being your boyfriend. maybe that was what caused the sources of your problems.

you wanted to date suguru and the both of you knew it. despite the fact that you acted like a couple — kissing, going out together, having sex, even saying that dreaded l-word — you two didn’t have an official relationship. and it genuinely drove you insane. especially when suguru got a little too close with girls, knowing your attachment to him.

you told yourself that you couldn’t really be mad because you weren’t dating. so, you started doing the same thing, expanding your options.

and suguru didn’t like that very much.

you two often had explosive arguments that either went one of two ways; one of you blocking the other and severing communication or the desperate confessions of love to keep each other around.

and when he gets blocked, it doesn’t take suguru long to contact you somehow or someway. whether it be following you on a different account, or going as far as showing up to your home, he gets to you again.

it’s an endless cycle that constantly leaves you overwhelmed and emotionally drained. the intense love you have for suguru is undeniable. it’s undeniable in the way you let him back, the way you willingly go back.

every time you hit that unblock button, your friends look at you with concern and express their disappointment, warning you that he isn't good for you.

and deep down, you know they're right. of course, you're aware of the potential harm and negative consequences. but can't they understand the depth of your emotions? you’re in love with him. over time, your friends gradually stop shaking their heads in disapproval. instead, they simply roll their eyes when his name is brought up in conversation. it’s as if they've given up on trying to convince you otherwise.

however, suguru soon reaches his final chance, when you find out he’s been fucking one of your friends. this time, there’s no argument. you’re swift, blocking every one of his socials you know, deleting & blocking his number. that was it. you were free.

a year passes by, and you’re sure you’ve moved on. you got a new boyfriend, who’s sweet, and so dedicated to you. suguru hasn’t tried to contact you, even though he’d never be able to. you move from your college dorm, to live with your devoted boyfriend, you get a new job at a local cafe. you’ve never been happier, and everything is going so good for you.

almost too good.

suguru is a dedicated man, which you had seemed to forget. the entire time you thought he had left you alone, that he too had moved on; well, you were wrong.

moving didn’t hide you from him, even if you thought it did. he eventually found out from one of your friends, and you. you may have blocked some of his instagram accounts, but not all.

you often posted the scenery of your new area. and your boyfriend. it wasn’t hard to pinpoint you from there. you also posted about working at a cafe. so he searched up the cafes in the area — it couldn’t be too far, because he knew you weren’t a fan of driving long distances.

it gave him three options.

three different cafes. so here’s how he found you; it really wasn’t hard. he put on a mask over his nose and mouth, tucked his long dark hair into his hoodie. he went to the first cafe, and he asked a simple question. “is y/n on the clock today? she’s the only one who makes my order correctly.”

from the first two, he got a, “y/n? we don’t have an employee by that name.”

but the third one, god it must’ve been luck. because when he asked, he got the most blissful answer.

“y/n? oh, she works from 8am - 2pm on saturdays and sundays, but she works from 2pm to 8pm on mondays, tuesdays and thursdays.”

that was so much more than he bargained for, but god was he ecstatic. she told him your schedule? that coworker must’ve had it out for you, or something. but who was he to question her and her helpfulness?

what he had to do was obvious from there. he began to frequent your job on the days you worked, however only when you had just left.

he kept it this way, until that faithful day.

it was his usual routine. he had came to the cafe on sunday, at 2:30pm. you should’ve been long gone by now, so he thought. but there you were, working the register, with a sweet smile on your face and a bedazzled name tag on your breast.

you’re even more beautiful in person, he realizes. those eye bags you used to have faded away, and your smile is bright. you’re as perfect as he left you. only problem? you allowed yourself to be stained by another man. but it was okay, suguru assumed — he’d clean you up.

he doesn’t hesitate to get in the line to buy something, even though it’s so rare when he does. he comes to the counter with eyes and shaky breaths, acting like he’s just as surprised to see you.

your eyes are as wide as saucers when you finally set on him. you didn’t see him immediately come through the door, so you didn’t see him for a while… until there were only two people in front of him in the line.

you were internally panicking and screaming, your heart beating so fast you thought it may crack one of your ribs . how did he find you? what does he want? and beyond that, how handsome he looked — however, you shoved these thoughts down. you had a boyfriend now, and you were never engaging with suguru again. simple as that.

“what’re you doing here?” he breathes out as he reaches the counter. you’re beyond shocked, eyes widening as you blink at him. “no, what are you doing here? i work here. you don’t even drink coffee.” and it’s true; in all your time together, suguru never touched a cup of coffee. he swallows, hard, and you wonder just exactly he’s thinking as he stares at you from underneath his thick lashes.

“i have… lately,” his voice is gentle, sad almost, “i come here daily for coffee. speaking of… can i get a large of straight black dark roast? with a dash of cream and sugar.” you nod and hastily go to make it. when you come back, he shifts, rocking side to side. “i want to apologize to you. for everything. can… can we talk when you get off?”

and you should’ve known better. you really should have. but you’re stupid enough to say yes.

he waits several hours for you; you tell him you’re working a double, and you’ll be closing the store. he doesn’t mind, it seems, especially when he helps you mop and clean, helping stack up chairs. it reminds you of how gentle suguru was with you. when it’s time to go, he questions, “you walk home?” when you nod, he scowls, obviously still slightly protective over you. it warms your heart, but you force it to freeze back over.

however, it remelts when he pushes you to the inside of the sidewalk, standing on the side closest to the street. “my boyfriend and i live around the block, so i just walk here and back. i never really get any trouble.” suguru hums; you’re setting that boundary early on.

i’ve moved on from you, you’re telling him subliminally, i’m with someone new. it’s funny that you think suguru cares.

the two of you are silent as you walk, and you find yourself questioning whether or not he’s going to apologize; or is he just using this opportunity to get close to you again? you get your answer when a few minutes later, he stops and turns to you.

“y/n,” his voice is husky and it’s cold enough that his exhalation of your name leaves a white mist, “i’m sorry, for everything. i was wrong to put you through those things. you’re such a sweet girl; you didn’t deserve it.” and a part of him means it, truly. he would’ve done things differently if he knew you were going to leave. “can we be friends? please?”

you feel the cold tears prick your eyes, and you nod, once, then twice. you sniff and whimper out a sweet, “yeah, suguru. we can be friends again.”

that’s your biggest mistake.

because now that you’ve allowed suguru in your life again, you’ve just given him the green light to do what he does best. spiral things into his control. he starts out with small things, starting with planting a seed of insecurity.

you had let him meet your boyfriend, at your boyfriend’s insistence, to prevent insecurity. his boyfriend knew all about suguru, so to say that he was a bit hostile was a bit of an understatement. suguru was the epitome of calm, all kind smiles towards your boyfriend. it was almost… embarrassing for you. your boyfriend was almost childish; when you cooked for the three, and your boyfriend set the table, he refused to get a plate for suguru. suguru took it in stride, however, only laughing it off. this was damn near perfect for suguru; he was going to lie, but your boyfriend was so fucking stupid, he basically laid out the soil for suguru’s seeds.

what’s worse was the fact that suguru is both taller and more muscular than your boyfriend; and whenever suguru stood and looked down at him, your boyfriend would jeer. later, your beloved expressed his slight inferiority. you did your best to reassure him, but anytime you mentioned suguru, he seemed to bristle. ‘it isn’t like that,’ you’d plead to him, with hands out, ‘we’re just becoming friends again, i swear!’

of course, you’d eventually go to tell suguru that you had to distance, in order to preserve your relationship.

he was understanding, yes, but not without a, “why doesn’t he trust you enough to let us be friends?” and maybe that stuck with you a bit. a week later, suguru drops off two plates of your favorite food. he says he was making it, and thought you’d enjoy the meal. he even brought a plate for your boyfriend. you’re ecstatic — as the meal isn’t one you often find in stores, and when you do, it isn’t cook to the fullest. however, while the two of you were … engaging, suguru learned to make it perfectly.

you’re all smiles and cheers, while your boyfriend is livid. suguru doesn’t overstay his welcome and departs with a smile and a nice goodbye for you both.

the argument ensues from there.

“i thought you cut him off?” your boyfriend asks you, his voice snappy and filled with anger. you raise your eyebrows, still holding the two plates in your hands as you move to the kitchen. you reply,”you didn’t ask me to. you told me to distance, and i did. me and suguru haven’t talked much at all since then.”

“then why is he dropping off food for you?” your boyfriend shoots back, almost immediately. you place the food on the counter and turn to him, feeling your irritation simply growing and growing. “for us, you mean,” you correct sassily, furrowing your eyebrows, “it would be different if the food was only for me. but there’s some for you too. he was being thoughtful.”

“why can’t you so obviously see that he’s a manipulative asshole?” your boyfriend yells as he throws his hands up, pacing around the couch. “how dim are you? he did it while you two were fucking around, and he’s doing it now! i don’t want you to be friends with him anymore.”

you’re bubbling over. so he’s calling you stupid now? you feel your irritation shift into anger instead. “you don’t get to tell me who i can and can’t be friends with because of your own fucking insecurities. you don’t get to do that shit, you don’t get to make something out of nothing. and most of all, you don’t get to throw my past experiences that i trusted you with into my fucking face.” you’re grabbing your food, and your coat simultaneously.

“wait, where are you going?” your boyfriend asks, his voice suddenly dropping from a yell to a concerned croon. your shoving your arm into a coat sleeve as you huff, “somewhere to cool off. you’ve pissed me off and now i don’t even want to be in this fucking house.”

your boyfriend wants to protest, but he doesn’t. he purses his lips, and he nods, before mumbling out a, “be safe. keep your location on, please?”

begrudgingly, you nod, before leaving.

of course, you end up at geto’s. you’re venting your frustrations as you eat the meal he prepared. it hadn’t even been an hour since he dropped off the food, and here you were. it’s how he knew that his plans were working, and god was he ecstatic. of course, he couldn’t seduce you right here and now, no. it’s much too early. he has to keep throwing the rock at the window, over and over. until it finally breaks.

this throw is only a crack in your window.

those arguments begin to happen more frequently, suguru’s large crack gives way to more and more little cracks, until you’re at your wits end. you’re not gonna break up with your boyfriend yet, but you’re starting to get aggravated. suguru figures it’s time for him to implement his plan.

you’re laying on his couch after an explosive argument between you and your boyfriend about geto seemingly “flirting” with you: suguru had bought tickets for the ballet for all three of you; your boyfriend refused to go, falling right into suguru’s trap. you were aggravated with him — he denied every opportunity to actually make sure no flirting would happen and denied. then got mad at you for enjoying yourself. but you wouldn’t allow that, tonight. you went to see the ballet with suguru, and honestly the two of you had a wonderful time.

but then, your dress had ripped so suguru held it together until the two of you got into the car. you had walked into the house, suguru shuffling behind you and your boyfriend went ballistic, claiming that suguru ripped it himself.

now, suguru didn’t even plan this one — but your boyfriend was just so good at being a little helper. while suguru watched the argument awkwardly, trying his best to ‘deescalate’ the argument, while intentionally making it worse. you ended up leaving with suguru, ripped dress and all.

now here you are, sitting on his couch, with tears streaming down your beautiful made-up face. suguru’s cooing to you through your distress, giving your back gentle rubs. “he’s such a dick, y/n,” suguru murmurs as you blubber out your frustrations, “i can’t believe he got so worked up… it’s starting to piss me off, too. i even bought a ticket for him to come with us.”

you let out a cry of agreement, going, “which was so nice of you! he complains about us being alone but never come when he’s invited! it’s so… so…!”

“hypocritical,” he finishes for you, pulling you to lean on his shoulder. you comply, even when his hand slides to rub at your hips. “i wasn’t the greatest, but… god, even i didn’t do you like that. didn’t he call you stupid or something a week ago? i actually don’t think i’ve ever done that.” he laughs it off like a joke, but watches your reaction carefully.

the words have you thinking back. no, suguru hadn’t ever called you stupid. when he started getting jealous, he never put you in situations to be jealous over. he was never childish like your boyfriend… your brows furrow and you pout, hesitantly nodding. suguru smiles; it’s working. he takes this a sign to keep talking.

“and i noticed that like… he barely posts you. like you have a highlight for him on insta, and he doesn’t have one for you,” he begins, continuing to caress your skin, before pulling a pack of his favorite cigarettes out of his pocket. “and i don’t mean to infringe on your relationship, y/n.. it’s just weird to me. considering that i had a highlight for you even when we weren’t dating.”

you pause, lightly leaning into suguru’s touch. he’s not wrong… in fact, he’s very right. your boyfriend always told you that he didn’t post you a lot because he didn’t want people in your relationship business. you had accepted it at the time, but now suguru’s words had you questioning.

“am i overstepping?” suguru asks gently, his hand still rubbing your hip, pulling you into him as he exhales cigarette smoke. his dark violet eyes focus on you, and you examine his features, like you used to do before.

his long hair is pulled into his trademark half-up half-down style. slim eyes looking down at you with an all too familiar glaze. his angular, perfect features that had to been crafted by god. he’s… he’s so much prettier… you curse yourself for even thinking it, but he’s so much prettier than your boyfriend. he licks his lips as he watches you watch him. his head tilts slightly.

“maybe your boyfriend wasn’t wrong, though,” he says, voice husky — it sends unwanted shivers down your spine. “maybe i haven’t been exactly appropriate to you. maybe i do want you back.”

you swallow hard, slight shock flooding you. you expected it but didn’t at the same time. even though all those times you vented and brought up how your boyfriend was convinced suguru wanted you, suguru never confirmed or denied. only soothed you.

you don’t know what to say, or how you feel but you know it’s wrong. “n-no, suguru,” you force yourself to say, “it’s wrong. a-and you already had a chance. so many chances.” your scooting away, but suguru is pulling you back to him.

his lips press against your ear as he whispers, “c’mon, baby… please? i learned my lesson. i can’t bare to see another man treat you like this, when i know… we both know… i have my problems, but i can treat you so much better.” you’re trying to pull away, but your body and your heart is too familiar with suguru. you ache, despite knowing that it’s wrong. it’s cheating.

“suguru, i-i can’t cheat..!” you whimper pathetically, and suddenly, he’s pushing you down onto the couch, sliding on top of you. you moan, as you feel him press against you, cursing yourself.

“there it is,” suguru hisses, lifting his cigarette to his wet lips again, “moaning just based off that? he hasn’t been fucking my girl right, now has he?”

“not your girl..!” you gasp as he presses hot, open mouth kisses onto your neck. you protest out of guilt, but god, you don’t stop him.

because just like he said, you both know. your boyfriend couldn’t, in no way, compared to suguru geto.

“not my girl?” suguru whispers as he kisses up your jawline, “you sure? because you’re gasping and whining out like you are. you’ve always been mine, y/n. you know you have. let me take care of you, baby. come back home.”

there’s an ache in your pussy, and you’re sure that it’s your sexual organ talking when you whine, “okay, suguru, j-just please… please fuck me.” the need you feel overwhelms the guilt as suguru presses his clothed dick against you.

you can feel him, pressing against you through your panties, and the squeal you let out makes suguru laugh. he’s sliding you up with one hand and into his lap. he hikes your dress up to your hips and you think he’s going to take you right then and there; but no. instead he presses you down against his crotch, forcing you to get off on the feeling of his covered dick simply pressing against you.

“s-suguru! c’mon, give me more, please!” you mewl as you grip his broad shoulders desperately. you watch as he lifts his cigarette to his lips. “nuh uh,” he says as he exhales, “you’re going to pay for leaving me for some bitch who can’t even fuck you right. ride me jus’ like this, y/n. and don’t stop until i say so.”

and unfortunately, you’re obedient and desperate for any shred of stimulation you can get. you began grinding your hips down against suguru through his slacks, his hardened dick rubbing against your pussy through your panties. you’re so wet that you begin to gush through the thin cotton of your panties, dripping onto suguru’s slacks in a puddle.

you don’t say anything however, yearning for the intense pleasure that suguru always gave you. that year away from suguru must’ve made you forget; nobody will ever fuck you as good as he does.

he watches as you clutch onto him, pathetically grinding and shaking your hips down onto your lap, whining as your panties rub against your clit just right. in a few minutes or so, you’re even ready to cum. suguru has your habits memorized when you were close, and that hasn’t changed.

you still tremble, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth. your eyes cross a little and your back arches. suguru grins. oh, you’re so close, aren’t you?

“stop.”

he chuckles darkly, and when you don’t listen the first time, he pulls you off of him. you let out a mix of a sob and a moan, your face twisting into something pitiful. “suguru!” you wail, fat tears spilling over. “i was so fucking close! why would you do that?”

suguru gracefully puts you on the floor between his legs, laughing at your plight. “oh, i never said you’d cum, dollface. i just told you to do it. but it’s okay, my dumb girl. ‘m gonna reward you a different way.” he begins unbuttoning the slacks as you perch between his legs. he’s rolling the black pants down his thighs, along with his boxers and there it is.

his dick bounces free. it’s long, and has a nasty curve upwards. he’s thick too — scarily so. his tip is fat and a perfect round shape. it’s a dark tan, a few shades darker than his skin. and it’s decorated with a silver reverse prince albert piercing. precum slides out, a silky white color. you feel drool collect in your mouth as his dick hovers above you.

“you know what to do,” suguru tells you with an expectant look, his cigarette perched perfectly between his lips, “open your mouth and let me use you. uh huh, just like that lovely, stick out that tongue…” you do as he tells you, hands on his knees as you lean up; tongue out, eyes locked with suguru’s.

he slaps his dick on your tongue a few times, before he slides his length into your mouth. immediately, your lips enclose around him. his hand laces into your hair, using it as leverage to pull your head down his length. you gag fiercely around him, hands moving from his knees to his thighs, digging into his skin.

suguru smokes his cigarette with hazy eyes as he pushes your head down his dick, and back up. the noise your throat makes when his tip hits your uvula is wet and messy, and god does he love it.

your slobbing down his length, your spit trickling down his balls; your eyes are filled with tears, a few even spilling over. however, your plump lips stay wrapped around him. you suck your cheeks in and gaze up at him, submission coating your every movement. your tongue slides against the glands on his dick, making him let out a soft groan.

“take this dick down your throat just like that, whore, fuck,” he rasps to you, his movements becoming a little more aggressive, “did you suck on him like this? lookin’ up at me all pretty. bet you didn’t suck his dick like you needed it; didn’t show him how much of a fucking whore you are, hm?” he puts his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table, and then he slides his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “i think we should. is that okay?” as best as you can, you nod, still swallowing up his dick.

suguru is on his phone for a few seconds, before laughing out, “ha! he texted me. he wants me to bring you fuckin’ home. too bad; you’re already home, right, baby?” of course, you don’t answer. your mouth is too stuffed full of his dick. suguru gets rougher then. his original languid pace is discarded, and he begins to push and pull himself out of your mouth. his tip rams against your uvula, before sliding into your throat. you’re choking for air, sputtering. he’s fucking your throat so cruelly, there’s a bulge in your throat every time he sheaths himself in your mouth.

you try to pull in air through your nose, but it’s too hard to focus when suguru is pressing your face into his pelvis, his heady scent filling you and making you dizzy. or was that just the lack of oxygen? you realize that he’s recording your pathetic display. you’re a fucking mess, pussy drooling as he ruins you.

“shiiit, angel,” he curses, head thrown back, and his locks messy around his shoulders. his bottom lip between his teeth, “gonna cum. gonna cum in your mouth, and you’re gonna swallow every fuckin’ drop, understand?”

you swirl your tongue around him, letting him know you’re ready. his thrusts become reckless, before he spills his load inside of your mouth. his cum tastes nice, as always — it has a slightly bitter tang to it, but you take it in stride. as he slides his softened dick out of your mouth, you open your mouth, letting your tongue loll out; showing him his cum coating your mouth.

his phone captures it all.

“is this your girlfriend?” he taunts the camera, grabbing your cheeks and bringing your mouth closer to the phone as cum dribbles down your chin. “look at her. that’s my cum. this is my girl.” you swallow his cum then, and suguru lets out a coo of, “good slut.” before he’s ending the video and sending it.

as soon as he releases your face, you’re sucking in big breaths of air, coughing and sputtering and wiping your eyes from the tears. he rubs your head while you do so, letting out soft coos of reasurance.

he sits back for a second, sliding his dick back into his slacks, before telling you, “go to my room and get undressed. i’ll be there in a minute.” he watches you nod and scamper up, going up the stairs to his room, your hips swaying.

suguru picks up his put out cigarette as he watches your boyfriend trip out about the video, both of your phones dinging with notifications. he lets out a laugh.

suguru always gets what he wants eventually, especially you.

he’s getting up to follow behind you then, pulling off his tie in the process. suguru can feel his own desperation and need for you setting in. it had been a year and a few months; in that time, he didn’t engage much in sex and romantic relationships. none of them were you.

and even now, when he gets to his room and you’re sat on his bed, eyes soft and legs slightly spread as you wait for him, he knows.

none of them will ever be you.

suguru stares at you, almost unnervingly as he walks into the room, leaning against the wall. it makes you self-conscious, curling into yourself as you press your hands against your body to shield yourself.

“don’t.” suguru says, and he walks to you, grabbing your arms. “i need to see all of you.” before you could even respond, he’s wrapping his tie around your wrists.

“suguru?” you question gently as the black fabric wraps around your hands, keeping you bound. suguru shushes you, before picking you up and moving you to the top of the bed. “shh, lovely. i gotta fuck those thoughts of your ‘boyfriend’ out of you. so you’re gonna be a good whore and you’re gonna take it. understood?”

“yes sir,” you whisper as he lays you down, before his hands are spreading your thighs, to reveal your pretty pussy; soaked with your self-lubrication. you move your bound hands to cover yourself, but suguru knocks them away. “put your hands away, what’re you covering yourself for? i know your body like the back of my hand.”

and he’s right, so you try your best to relax. your tensity is immediately forgotten when he puts a finger on your clit, rubbing slow circles against it. you shiver and let out a dulcet moan, a lovely sing of, “suguru— mnngh, fuck..” he takes so much pride in the way he makes you feel, the way he makes you cry out and arch your back just due to his finger rubbing against your clit.

“shh, dollface,” suguru says as he sits between your legs, spreading them more. his large hand wraps around your calf to put your leg up. his finger trails from your clit to your sopping hole, before sliding two fingers inside.

the stretch from just two of suguru’s fingers had you letting out mellifluous moans, squirming in his hold. he held you still while he pushed his fingers inside of you until they were knuckle deep, thumb pressing against your clit.

suguru was slow and methodical with the way he fingered you; sliding his fingers out slowly just to thrust them back in a fast pace, fingertips curling against your warm, gummy walls. your slick was dripping down onto his palm as he rocked his finger into you.

you were his mess, letting out whines as his long, thick fingers scissored inside of you, pressing against your g-spot. “he couldn’t get you like this, now could he?” suguru asked as he pressed his fingers against your g-spot again, making you squeal. you didn’t answer at first, but when he added a third finger inside of you, hissing out, “fucking answer me.” you were quick to babble out, “no, sugu! no, no, no, he could never get me like this… only you, only you!”

suguru chuckles in satisfaction as he watches you struggle to hold on to the sheets with your bound wrists. “fuckin’ slut,” he muses, “cheating on your boyfriend like some fucking whore who can’t keep her legs closed.” he tuts, and shame floods through you; however, it’s eradicated by the way he curls his fingers against your g-spot, his quick but precise thrusting hitting it every time. your juices are all over his hand, sloppy noises echoing through the room. the way suguru looks at you has your heart beating in your fucking ovaries.

you’re close, euphoria is spreading through your body and your stomach is tightening. your pussy is contracting around suguru’s fingers as you whimper, “i’m sorry…! sorry for bein’ a slut, sir.”

“i forgive you,” he laughs a little bit, as your eyes roll back. “you’re my slut, of course. you’ll always belong to me; always be mine, no matter where you go.” right as your pussy begins to spasm around him, and your body begins to twitch, eyes rolling back again — he slides his fingers out of you.

the sob you let out is tremendous, bordering on a scream. suguru only watches as you sob, fat tears rolling down your already ruined face as you sob out different variations of ‘why?’ and ‘i wanted to cum!’ through your tears as you glare up at him. suguru only watches your pathetic, desperate display as he begins to fully undress. his eyebrow raised as he watches you, slightly smirking. you’re so cute, so desperate for him. he loves when you get like this.

by the time he’s fully naked, you’re facedown into the blankets, still whimpering, your sobs slowing. suguru wants to laugh, but he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. he crawls on the bed towards you, grabbing you and turning you over onto your back. you look up at him with teary eyes as he hovers above you. your bound hands reaches up, and you mange to press the back of your hand to his cheek. oh, how you missed this sight.

your hands sneak to his hair, and you pull out his ponytail. his hair falls around his shoulders, and he smiles at you; a genuine smile, and you can tell by the way his eyes crinkle. he leans down, sliding his lips against yours as his hand wraps around your throat loosely. suguru tastes like sweet cigarettes, like a mix of nicotine and love and sex. you don’t know how else to describe it.

“missed you,” he whispers against your lips, kissing you feverishly. you try your best to keep up with his insistent lips, as his tongue curls against the roof of your mouth.

“m-missed you more,” you rasped back against his lips.

you guys are pulling away occasionally to gaze at each other sweetly at his other hand trails down your body, caressing you wherever he can. he’s devouring your lips, hand slightly tightening on your neck. “love you, y/n,” he whispers, before continuing on like it was never said.

your heart pumps, and before you realize it, your lips are moving to say, “love you more, suguru,” you feel him grin into the kiss, and it becomes more desperate. it’s messy, the way he kisses you — the way he laps at your mouth and begs for more of you, all of you.

you can’t help but give.

his tip rubs against your hole, his piercing cold against your heat. on instinct, you let out a slight hiss at the feeling. he shushes you gently, as he pushes his hips forward slowly. the stretch of him has your head falling back, and your eyes rolling. your mouth falls open in an o, but you’re unable to make a noise, as if he’s snatched it out of you.

pain mixes with pure pleasure as he feeds your greedy cunt inch after inch of him. your body is trembling as you feel his piercing scratch your g-spot, making you gasp out, before said piercing is nudging your cervix. his curved dick has you going insane, hitting spots you forgot you had. above you, suguru is as much of a mess as you are.

he’s panting, irises so dilated that it’s just black with a ring of dark violet. one hand is gripping your hips, the other squeezing your throat as he spears you on his dick, soft moans escaping his lips. “fuck, angel,” he groaned as he threw his head back, “missed this pussy s’much. you’re taking me so well, look…” you manage to look down, watching as suguru pulls out of you before snapping his hips into yours.

the single, experimental thrust has you seeing stars. your tied hands are pushed above your head by suguru and he holds your hands, keeping them there. he pulls your legs to rest on his shoulders, and you blank. because now, the angle is different, and he’s pulling out and—

the rough thrust he blesses you with has you whimpering out his name, and that’s just the beginning. it doesn’t stop from there, no. he releases your hands, going to grip your throat again as he begins to stuff you full, slamming into you over and over.

that hand on your throat tightens just how you like it, until your noises are gasped and raspy, and there’s black spots swimming in your vision. this, paired with the way suguru pushes his hips into yours, bullying your pussy, has you teetering on the edge.

suguru knows this. he knows your body far too well, much more than you’d like. he knows that when he trails a hand down to your breasts, to pull and twist at your nipples like he does right now, it only shoves you closer to the edge. “don’t cum,” he whispers to you, “i didn’t even really get started, doll. don’t tell me you’re gonna cum just from a few strokes like this?” he smirks down at you, as his thrusts pause. the hand around your throat sliding up to rub his thumb on your bottom lip. the slight relief has you sucking in deep breaths, trying to regain your voice.

suguru decides to help you. he resumes his fierce thrusts, ripping a croaked cry of, “suguru—!” out of you. he picks up speed, jackhammering into you, and your nails dig into the palm of your hand as you’re forced to grip your own hands. he’s fucking you like this, and you’re supposed to not cum? his thrusts snatch the barely regained air out of your lungs, forcing more tears into your eyes.

your clit throbs painfully, your stomach tight as you try to hold on to the orgasm that is so close, too close to washing over you. “can’t control yourself?” suguru taunts from above you with a slight laugh, “fuck, baby, you’re a mess. got your fucking juices drippin’ down my balls,” he let out another chuckle, “pussy just clenched around me too. you like when i make fun of you, don’t you? masochistic cumwhore.” he grips your face, watching your tits bounce fiercely with every thrust.

“it huuuurts, sugu,” you whimper in an agonizingly sweet voice, “please let me cum, please, please, i can’t take it..! please, sir, it hurts…!”

“you love it when it hurts, though,” he tuts at you, his hair hanging in his face, and above you as he keeps up his thrusts. you let out a desperate, pained whine and he softens. just a little. but he doesn’t let you cum yet. instead, he leans down, lips pressed to your ear, “say you won’t leave me, ever again. say you won’t go anywhere.”

you know it’s a trap, but you fall into it anyways. “i won’t! i won’t leave you again, i promise, p-please just let me cum. i won’t go anywhere, i won’t ever have anyone else! j-just please…”

“cum.” suguru says one word, and immediately, you do. your eyes roll back, your body seizes, and your pussy clenches so impossibly tight around him that he can’t even pull out.

“shit—!” he hisses, hands gripping your hips. your clenching sends him over the edge too, his cum pumping into you. he didn’t mean to cum inside of you, no. but now it’s given him an idea. “fuckin’ minx, pussy clamped so hard on me, it had me cum in you,” he rasped as he pressed his lips to your sweaty skin.

you want to care, you really do. you want to panic and make a scene, but god, you don’t fucking care. the feeling of having his cum inside of you feels too good. you didn’t even let your boyfriend cum inside of you. should you be ashamed of yourself? you don’t know. actually, scratch that. once again, you don’t fucking care. all you can murmur is, “just… don’t do it again.”

you don’t care because your mind is foggy, the best kind of foggy. the orgasmic haze you’re in has you blissed out as you’re splayed across suguru’s bed.

suguru is marking you, biting, licking, sucking at your neck, collarbone and chest until they’re littered with reddish-purple hickeys, along with the hand print from him choking. if he’s going to bring you home to your boyfriend, he’s going to bring you back with a message. he grabs his cigarette and his lighter. he lights it, and takes a puff, before looking down at you. “this is gonna hurt,” he tells you, and you connect the dots immediately. you shake your head at him, but he shushes you. “be a good slut, and let me do this. don’t move, or it’s gonna hurt more.”

you go completely still, biting your lip as tears appear on your lash line. he softens when he sees you like this, scared. his hand presses against your face, trying to soothe you. even as he presses his cigarette against your collarbone. in order to distract you, he begins to thrust again. the pain and pleasure fight for dominance over your body, and you focus on the pleasure; even though the smell of your burning flesh fills the room. he puts out his cigarette two more times on your skin, before pressing kisses to the scars.

“i have to make sure that you, and everyone else, know that you belong to someone.” he whispers to you, still pressing kisses to the spot. you barely understand him though, because you feel like you’re fading. drowning in a sea of pleasure that he’s created.

his eyes lock on your bound hands, and the red mark around your wrists. he unties your hands, and you let out a garbled noise of relief. you watch as he presses kisses to your wrists, while still pumping his thick dick through your walls. you’re on the edge again, and suguru flicks at your clit, making you cum another time, your body twitching and your hands grabbing at his skin.

suguru’s close, too, and he knows what he has to do now.

suguru’s ideas are dangerous, but he finds it in him that he doesn’t care. he can’t trust your word that you’ll never leave. he can’t rely on just marking you. he’ll have to make sure that you’re unable to go anywhere, he’ll have to make sure that you need him.

he’ll have to knock you up.

it’s as simple as that. the simple idea of you swelled with his child has him reeling. suguru knows it’ll work. you don’t use birth control, because you don’t like the way it makes you gain weight, and you often forget to take the pill. and, he saw condoms and plan b’s at your house. it’s almost comical. suguru’s sure that you’d take his baby; but not your boyfriend’s.

the idea excites him even more and he grips your thighs, using his weight to push you into a mating press.

everything’s a blurry mess from there.

he’s slamming his hips into you with a regained fever, over and over and over. your heightened sensitivity is unable to take it, and you’re a squealing, whining mess with every move that he makes. your grasping at anything in your reach, mainly him and the bedsheets.

suguru folds you in half as he feels his own orgasm coming. “you’re gonna take every drop i give you, understand? don’t waste my cum, slut.” you want to tell him to wait, to cum on your stomach. but you don’t. you can barely think at all. instead, you lose control of your body as you cum right with him, as he shoots his load of thick cum straight to your womb.

you think he’s done, but no; instead he flips you over onto your hands and knees. he grips your throat from behind with both hands as he slams into you one more time. pumping and filling you, breeding you like some animal. you can barely moan anymore, animalistic whimpers and grunts escaping you instead as he slams his hips against the plush of your ass. suguru lets go of your neck to grip your hair, pushing your face into his pillows as you drool mindlessly, brain fucked away.

“helloooo…” he asks, teasing you purposely, “anyone in there?” when you don’t answer, he barks out a laugh. “look at you. gone stupid on my dick. i expected you to last longer. but no; you’re nothin’ but a dick hungry cumslut.” your body twitches and you make out some noise, resembling a ‘nooo…’, but suguru can’t tell.

“like it when i use you like this, hm? like it when i treat you like my fuckin’ cocksleeve, don’t you, y/n?” this time you manage to answer with a sweet ‘yes!’ and suguru smiles. you’re cumming again, sinking into the blankets with rasped moans. your throat is probably shredded from all the screaming you’ve been doing, but it’s okay.

it’s not long before suguru’s shooting his third load into you — or is it his fourth? you don’t remember, and neither does he.

you think it’s over, and maybe it is for approximately five to ten minutes. he gives both of you a break, and he presses kisses into your spine.

however, when he maneuvers you into a different position, you almost pass out. suguru isn’t done with you yet. the night continues like that, until the rosy fingers of dusk trickle into the room. he fucks you all fucking night, with a few breaks. he fucks you to sleep, and when you wake up, he’s still fucking you. a mix of your fluids soaks his bed, as he fucks load after load after load into you.

because suguru’s on a mission.

so when morning comes and he’s finally done using and abusing your body, he knows he’s succeeded. he scoops his cum off your thighs and stuffs it back into you, and right after he slides your panties back on, making sure it stays there.

soon after, when you wake again, he carries you to the bathroom, and he washes you up, still making sure that not too much of his cum slides out. he’s gentle with you, carrying you on his back around the house, driving you to get dunkin’ donuts for breakfast. the two of you completely ignore your phones, and the messages your boyfriend — well, ex-boyfriend left you two.

in fact, suguru does him one better. he arrives at the house with his arm around your waist and you nestled into his side. your ex-boyfriend is more than livid, more than furious, but he pales in comparison to suguru.

he screams at you, only once; because suguru is there to utter out a, “you yell at my girlfriend like that again, and i will fucking kill you.” and both you and your boyfriend are shocked. but suguru only nods to you, smiling gently as you hurry to collect everything you need. feminine products, clothes, jewelry. important things. anything you miss, suguru says you’ll get later. your boyfriend doesn’t utter a word after that single scream.

of course he texts you, ranging from angry to filled with despair. from “cheating fucking bitch” to “i’m sorry, i’ll do better, just please come home”. he’s soon blocked.

and when you miss your period the next month, you’re telling suguru. when the pregnancy test comes up positive and you’re looking up at him with a mix of shock, fear and excitement, he scoops you up into a kiss, murmuring about how he’s so happy.

because now you’re his forever.

#⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱​ jazi writes #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #fem reader #jjk x fem!reader #geto suguru #jjk geto #geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #getou suguru x you #suguru geto smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #jjk x poc!reader #poc reader #jjk x readet #jjk x reader smut #geto x female reader #geto x fem reader smut #🎧

[khadijha]

nataliegate 2023.

firstly, i want to start this by saying this is a safe space if anybody has felt they've been victimized by natalie. this is for any issue - if you're not indigenous, i ask that you don't mention the indigenous issues! this entire thing has opened up all the things that you guys have experienced related to her and i think it's only fair for you to have your peace, as well. in saying that, just know this entire thing stemmed from natalie claiming she was indigenous since around 2016 (i believe) and should remain the main issue (i.e. not starting a discussion within the tags and sending anons all over about anything other than the main issue). but with this, she has now deactivated her blog and left the rpc, so please feel free to come to me and discuss how she's hurt you - because chances are i've had similar issues!

i just want to say what i need to say and i want you all to know natalie was my real friend (i thought). we followed each other on all real-life social media, besides fb, i felt we built an indigenous community together, and she was somebody i felt i could go to if there was ever an issue. this isn't rpc drama, this has affected me personally. i'm unsure if any other indigenous people have had a close relationship with her, as well, but for me, she was the first one i ever had. ever. in real life or online. this feels like a real friendship has ended and i'm doing what i can to move on.

natalie was the first indigenous friend i remember making on this blog. i've been on this specific blog for 6 years, i believe, and ever since i can remember, she has not only been a staple in the indigenous rpc but also the first person i remember connecting with on that level. a brief overview of our friendship goes from being mutuals, not necessarily talking very often, to then talking all the time (for most of the years), creating an indigenous people's server together, speaking about issues within rps that we've approached and talked with and rps that have been continuously problematic and we've had to post publicly.

we've talked about our culture, being white passing, reconnecting, issues within the rpc (and world, frankly) related to indigeneity, and all of our struggles. then we simply drifted off a bit in relation to speaking all the time - i'm unsure of what was going on in natalie's life these past few months, as i had taken a subconscious step back from the rpc to deal with my own life, sometimes make gifs, and speak to my commissions people. then, this entire thing came out and i reached out to natalie privately. up front, i will say of course i don't condone what has been done. we will no longer be friends (though i'm sure she made that decision first) and i will not accept any form of "but what if's" about the situation or her.

in reaching out, i asked if she was okay. i will not be posting screenshots as of now. she explained, in short, that she didn't know what was happening, she was blind-sighted, and was taking time to breathe, in a sense. from the beginning of my messages to her, i told her that only she "knows" one way or another what's true. if she's indigenous, then she has the information she needs to "prove" she's indigenous (which is a horrible way to say it but at that point in time, it was what it was) and told her even i don't know what to make of the situation.

she did not give me any explanation, a long message, or "proof"* for me to have her back, help her, and stand by her side. the few messages i got from her back were saying she blocked tumblr (then unblocked to speak to nikki @nikkiitalks - sending a 23 screenshot long message) and then reblock it. she ended up later on, unprompted, sending me copy/paste messages she was also sending lauren @tifffanyvalentine, even when we did not ask for information, or say the same things as each other. it was continuous copy/paste.

*when i speak about "proof" - always put in quotations because i don't mean it in the colonizer way of "if you're not x% you're not indigenous" but more so when speaking to her i asked for "something" for me to back her up. i meant more so specifics, like something that isn't just "my grandmother said", if that makes sense. because i'd undoubtedly believed her fully until this and her not speaking to me through this entire thing (somebody i thought would come to me), or saying anything other than "i can't believe this is happening" is not entirely convincing. i'm sure other indigenous people would react in different ways, but through talking with some in the rpc, we were all able to speak about things in a way that would completely eradicate the argument those other blogs (the ones that posted screenshots of natalie's life) tried to make. i didn't mean harm in "proving" anything, simply to give some reassurance!

the last message she sent me (and lauren) is as follows: "i've deactivated my blog for my mental health, left indigenousrph before doing so so hopefully that doesn't disappear, but you and ari (who i will be letting know) will have full control on what you want to do about it. i will probably be taking a break from discord as well, if i ever even decide to re-join discord. deactivating is something i've been thinking of since yesterday, and it is fully my choice i went with. i am sorry."

my reply to this was long, i'll spare this already extensive post, and stated that i asked her why she didn't come to me? if she "knows" she's indigenous, why didn't she just send ME information* that helps me to back her up? what was the issue? i didn't understand why she did what she did (not letting me / other indigenous peoples help her) when it could've been avoided altogether. i sent that at 5:27pm yesterday and have not received a reply.

*please check aforementioned paragraph about "proof" as this is the "information" i meant.

natalie had continuously made me uncomfortable, but not scared. i did not get the brunt of what she's done, as i've seen other people posting about her, but do understand the feeling. i'm a member of indigenousrph and the first time i decided to answer a post - this post - about can we use pretendians if we use them as their real ethnicity? i posted it. she messaged me on discord asking if she can add on. which then she did. her message contradicts mine. i'm of the mind: this is rp. unless somebody is an actual racist, abuser, etc. they're fine. even booboo stewart being played as an asian man, that's okay with me. but she had to be the voice for the indigenous, she would not allow me to have my own.

or if an opinion i made in the indigenous server we had did not match up to her standards, she would publicly disagree and then come to me in private. we've had "arguments" before. nothing vicious, but she made it well known what she believed (made it seem like it was fact) and that i should be the one to change my mind. i always had to placate her, to appease her. and not for nothing, she stated she started reconnecting after high school (or college?) unsure of the date. i've been reconnecting since i was 14/15. i'm 27, about to be 28 in november. i'm not saying i "know more" i'm saying i have more experience living as an indigenous person, period.

i have uplifted her, supported her, listened to her, and helped her through many things. and she has done the same to me. this is not an rpc issue - this is an issue that happened in the rpc. this hurt is real. i lost a friend. i trusted somebody who had been lying the entire time about something that is one of the most important things in my life. my identity, our identity. i hope this isn't something you see and the take away is "don't believe indigenous people" or "always question indigenous people" or not take us seriously when we speak, answer questions, write guides, or call anti-indigenous things out. this is a one in a million thing that happened, please remember that.

this is almost the end! i wanted to thank the ally's that came to me directly, privately, to show their support without taking away from the issue. @madelyncilne (el, my bestest friend of all time, you know how i feel), @dinadenoires (taylor, you're such an amazing person you don't even know the support you give to me, especially during this time), drea (who is no longer in the rpc, but whom i've become very close with and think of her as a friend i can turn to when i need to, has been backing me up since this whole thing started), @maidavika (serre, you've been updated on this entire thing and no matter what i said, you couldn't believe this was actually happening - you were validating me and supporting me throughout), @silverduckie (katie, you were the very first non-indigenous person to reach out to me and ensure i was doing okay when you didn't have to and i thank you immensely), @katherine-mcnamara (dev, even though you were thrown into this, you've shown nothing but kindness to me and to the indigenous community consistently), @rey1x1 (rey, i thank you for checking in when i was leaving servers, even though i didn't think anybody would notice, and for your compassion offered to me), @gordonramsei (emily, even when you had your own "drama" going on, you still were able to come ask me how i was doing).

i wanted to give this space to the indigenous people who have banded together during this time (specifically to me, i know there's others out there!) @ladysgodiva (rosie, for being my ride or die, my cousin, my rez dog when needed, i can always turn to you for the laughs and to say the hard things that need to be said), @tifffanyvalentine (lauren, you have no idea how much i love you dude, we've bonded so much and shared so many real experiences together), @quietanarchy (beau, loving that you're so straightforward and are able to be so open about your own experience and lift us all up), @nikkiitalks (nikki, i've always thought of you as a mother figure - not because you're OLD! but because that's the kind of comforting energy you bring, especially towards me whether you know it or not), @heartbsl (tk, for being an honorary indian member even though you're kānaka maoli, you know exactly what we're going through and have been nothing short of amazing this entire time).

thank you all for checking in. i won't apologize that this is long because it's what i needed to say, but thank you for taking the time and for standing with indigenous peoples.

#olivaraofrph #tagging because if you need a space to vent - i'm here! #drama / #long /

[twotangledsisters]

You’re awesome for posting fic updates not only consistently, but daily! Any tips for keeping up with writing?

Thank you so much! I love updates and writing being a part of my routine and I'm glad other people enjoy it too!

And sure, I can think of some tips:

First, there's a mixture of inspiration and forcefulness. I remember when I was really little I read a post somewhere about how if you want to take something seriously, you have to take it seriously on the days when you're inspired and on the days you're not. That changed how I treat art forever!

But years and years later I learnt a more important lesson, to never overlook the power of inspiration.

It's through a mixture of both that I can really keep up with writing. If I only wrote when inspired, sooner or later I'd get a loooong writing block that would leave me simply paralysed. But I'll often do the 'just one chapter' method, and often writing just a few paragraphs will get me back into the flow. But if I'm still very blocked after a chapter, that's fine.

But if I am inspired, I will follow that. Even if it takes my story in weird directions that weren't planned! A good example is that Caine rescuing Cass in the final S1 fic wasn't planned, she wasn't planned to come along in S2 and certainly did not expect her to fall in love... A lot of their scenes came from me writing while inspired.

Now, stuff such as Eugene's near death in S1 finale, the way Koto framed him, the way Cass had to deal with accusations of witchcraft, those stuff were planned way ahead of time!

It's really important to keep that balance, to have plans and also leave room for inspiration to run wild!

An added bonus, if you feel an intense desire to go write a fic that's completely different to the one you're trying to work on, just let inspiration win. I was struggling a bit with the 'Day of Animals' arc in tangled sisters the other day, then I got the urge to do a little Cass oneshot, so I wrote the oneshot in one sitting and have had zero issues writing since.

Sometimes you can unblock writing block with MORE writing! As long as you're letting inspiration guide you.

Second is to take breaks! I update every day but I do not write every day. I write a few times a week and usually have at least one really long session!

One of my currently updating fics 'Always By Your Side' I wrote half of it in like a week, took a few months break, then wrote the rest and started publishing!

Sometimes long breaks can really help. I've taken several long breaks with Tangled Sisters.

Third is stay ahead. With 'Always By Your Side' I have it completely written so I just proof read on the day of upload. Tangled Sisters I keep track of in Notion:

Look how cute my fanfic section is!

I'm usually at least 30 chapters ahead but I did take a writing break recently. Soon as I get the next arc done I expect to be well ahead again.

Fourth, motivation! This one isn't entirely your control, but a huge factor for keeping up is just that I'm super motivated! I can thank the amazing people who comment every day, those who comment occasionally, those who leave kudos or send nice asks like this one!

It does sooo much to make me smile and excited for the stories I'm telling.

And if you look at my fanfic section of notion, I have that little box titled kind words, the content actually changed every time I reload the page, it's linked to a little table where I keep track of all the kind words regarding my fics that I've gotten on Ao3 and tumblr! (I also have several bits of fanart by the amazing @rebecagpfs in that page who I cannot thank enough!!!)

So, although you don't have full control over motivation, having a notebook to collect those kind words can help!

Fifth would be talk to people. Have at least one person who's cool with spoilers cause brainstorming is just easier with somebody else! For me @the-writer1988 has got me through sooo many writer's blocks! Often times I just ramble at her until the problem resolves itself, other times it'd be a more active back and forth. But writing friends supporting each other, always great!

And hey, to anybody who wants to ramble about their fics to me I'm always open! I love hearing about people's fics and am huge on the writer supporting writers sorta mentality!

Sixth is just have fun! If you enjoy what you're writing it's going to be sooo much easier than if you don't.

I do want to point out though, every writer's different! I can sit down and write 10k words in one sitting, but a lot of people can't, just like I need five hour to do a drawing many artists can do in an hour.

Writing is an art and you get faster with experience.

Also, I do daily updates because I adore consistency! Having that routine is amazing for me and I think it's lovely for some readers. But I also accomplish that via very short chapters! Sometimes as short as just 600-700 words. Many authors opt for longer chapters that upload weekly but there still writing the same amount!

So yeah, I do hope this helped!

Thank you so much for the ask :D And if anything didn't make sense, please tell me, it's almost 1am here I just noticed but I really wanted to answer this before bed!

#ask answered #writing tips #writing advice #writing tip #writing trick #write consistency #writing resource #writing resources

[aliceismypixie]

This has been picking my squishy little thought organ.

If Jalice had a kid, what are some hypothetical gifts it could have?

I could see it having the gift of giving hallucinations.

(that previous ANON got me thinking, clearly)

Because of his emotional ability--> making them believable. [Fool the emotions all else will follow.] Her visions are quite sporadic at times. ---> crafting the mental space devoted to that.

Environmental Factors---> Bella & her daughter can project, and I think environmental factors will give the gift a push to be able to be casted. INSTEAD of actually just ending up with hyperaphantasia.

Alice & Bella are besties, so they'll spend a considerable amount of time together interacting. So, I think the block Renesme has on the visions will be a giant factor too.

Despite Bella and Alice just not being close it will happen anyway. Cause there's nowhere realistically for her to go.

She's stuck and Alice probably isn't going to get a vision going oh, now is the right time to leave.

Even if you could argue oh, they'll never fight. Most likely right unless we wanna go even more Au... {Which I am 100% ok with}

But I think Alice's slight harboring of resentment for Renesme for blocking her visions will be the key in the lock for this to all work out right.

She isn't going to stop blocking them. Alice already has had time to get over her gift dependency so much but like she won't do that.

Jasper's gift can't be blocked by a shield, but I imagine he's a little immune to Renesme's gift. (Realistically not...? But it's a silly little Tumblr post I don't want to think about the power scale too hard and implode.)

I was hoping you could pick up where I left off about how things realistically work in Twilight.

Besides the whole vampires have a kid despite one being infertile.

But I think this would be a hell-on-wheels problem. Cause while Jasper I'd argue! Has a more moral conscious (at least in the ways we see it.) than Alice. But they're both pretty grey.

Which means they're both pretty ruthless. Like Bella and Edward are for their child.

All i know is this offspring would have to be so lucky to not be snatched by the Volturi.

I think this kid would fare better than Renesme in the short and long term. Even if they were both hybrids. This kid would have parents that would in my opinion actually teach it more.

I think Bella and Edward don't teach Renesme. much.

I think Jasper would make sure his kid had the skills should they be needed to be used. And Alice would support this or just let it happen. I think he's a more active parent than her but that's 100% different bullshit Au type of discussion and I just needed to drop this meta off to blogs for their thoughts.

I am driving myself crazy. I would like to sleep.

I think that if Jalice hypothetically had a gift, it could be be related to feel the emotions of the people had in the past/will have in the future. Considerating the fact that Renesmee has a gift pretty complicated as an hybrid, it could be possible that every gifted hybrid has a gift more complicated than a normal vampire. The kid (Jalice's) would also, probably, block their mother's power but would slowly unblock it for their mother overtime. Because somehow, they are linked considerating the fact that in SM's Twilight world, the links are pretty strong bond, related to family or.

I can say that for most part I agree with you. Seeing how Alice and Bella were during Breaking-Dawn Part 1, it was already pretty hard for them both to get along and agree due to the fact that Alice couldn't see Renesmee's nor Bella's future. As you said, it could be the key for a potential fight to happen between the two.

As for Jalice having a kid. I would agree that the kid would probably be taught more, their father was an ex-soldier and their mother would probably want them to be able to defend themselves in the future as she would not be able to see anything due to being an hybrid. However, I think that this kid would also had easier way to understand what/who they are since Renesmee would be born before them and the whole family would be ready. Therefore, everyone would already know how to deal with an hybrid kid in the house with the supernatural grow, being able to eat human food ect.

I don't know if like I correctly answer but I tried my best to fill your hunger ^^' (you got me thinking for twenty minutes there)

#anon ask #twilight thoughts #jalice #alice cullen #jasper hale #Bedward (I'm sorry what ship name is that ????) #resume cullen #renesmee cullen #Nevaeh reply ✨🩷✨

[talisidekick]

I'm making this a blog post because this is long and serves a purpose. The following image is a response to this post:

[For those that are blind,having picture loading/comprehension difficulty, or using an auto-reader for convenience; User @lunathewafflelord replied in the comments:

"I just discovered the TERF side of Tumblr and I'm actually terrified and disgusted and I already wasn't feeling good (crying face emoji) beautiful alien's pinned post and the comments on it disgusted me so much (wry face via colon and a back-slash) Terfs are already bad, but saying they're proud PROUD to be a terf is even worse (angry face emoji)"

End Description]

@lunathewafflelord I don't know if she reblogged my post or not because beautiful alien got blocked. I have at the time of writing this post exactly 6 people on my blog total that are blocked for actively attacking me in person. I have no problem with my points getting debated. I'm more than happy to go toe to toe in my asks, or reblogs (if I catch them, as this blog post absolutely obliterates every other post I've ever made and my notifications are FILLED with people reblogging and liking so other reblogs may get missed) because the point isn't to educate the reblogger, it's to educate the audience of the discourse. But when you resort to insults or threats or purposely degrading responses, I consider the debate over. I've won and proved a more rational mind backed the statements made into a corner to the point where the only option for continuation is to try and get personal, which would be childish and immature to continue at that point. It's like trying to tell a kid that oxygen and 2 hydrogen make H20, which is water, and after losing the debate that "water" is it's own element like Iron (Fe) the child goes "well you smell" like that puts them in the right. You simply smile and ignore them, because they'll just have to live with the fact they're wrong and it'll sink in eventually or it won't, but to those present for the debate and critically thinking or curious it's clear who has the facts, knowledge, and experience. I don't know if I pinned her post on accident or not, I'm unable to remove any pin without unblocking her and potentially subjecting me to more of her uninspired regurgitation of misinformation and conjecture. I am similarly not up for any of that. I'm sorry if I pinned something shitty.

Now, I've gone through beautiful alien's tumblr and she isn't the only one out there that thinks like this, and while using her as an example I must state: do not attack her with death threats, insinuations of suicide, or any other remarks of conducting acts of self harm. Some people already have, and if you are within the 2slgbtqia+ community, even as an ally, then please stop. Don't comment directly, don't do it in anonymous asks, not even on dummy accounts. We're better than that. I get multiple messages telling me to kill myself a month, we don't need to stoop to their level of dehumanizing hatred.

I'm sorry what you saw in the comments of a very important message about supporting trans folk and their choices to get misgendered and deadnamed in public or in front of certain people regardless of how safe or open you might think/know the person to be was a wall of transphobia. I wasn't shocked myself, but it can be jarring when you're excited and uplifted by post that explains something clearly for the benefit of yourself that you can share to friends, family, etc. to explain without putting as much effort as I did to form my fears and worries into words.

Please remember these terfs aren't stating facts but beliefs that actively hurt, harm, and cause a high degree of mental distress. You are not obligated to respond to, combat against, or disprove them. You have only one obligation and that's to live as your best self. To show care and kindness to those in need that you feel safe extending a hand to. These people seek to hurt others by denying critical mental-health care to people and spreading lies to promote harm, and you don't need to fight them in any other way than existing in total opposition to their established rhetoric. If they call you a predator, exist as a protector. They call us evil, then be the force for good many of us never had in our lives growing up. Leave the debates for those willing to have them.

If someone tries to debate your existence, just say "no" and shut them down before they get started. My response when I don't have the mental capacity to fight the next random enemy in this dialog-battle RPG that this life seems to be is to laugh like it's a joke they even try. To make it seem ridiculous and walk on. You don't need to engage in that mental strain if it's not for you.

Sometimes, we fight by living by example. Sometimes, we just need to live our lives to prove them wrong. Trans isn't about perfectly formed fact referenced arguments, rallies, protests, and demonstrations, it's about living your best life to smile happily, make other smile and let them be safe in your presence, to discover yourself and live your way. Some of us live our life enjoying the aspects of debate, but don't for a moment think you have to partake. Ignore them, and go find happiness.

#trans #transgender #2slgbtqia+ #lgbtq+ #lgbt+ #queer #trans positivity #mtf #ftm

[thelonesomequeen]

Can this anon tell us on details how they managed to stay away? I want a way out but I cant// Me again! (I'm clearly failing at staying away from Tumblr lol but I knew people would respond to my original post so here I am) Gonna tell you how I did it. I did this in January -

I'm lucky enough to have multiple devices (phone, laptop, iPad). I deleted all social media apps from my phone and only allow myself to use them on my iPad. That changed my time spent online significantly. Especially because I don't take my iPad when I go out anywhere so I wasn't finding myself scrolling mindlessly on my phone when I was out. It helped me become more present in my life. At first it was super weird, I kept automatically unlocking my phone and scrolling to where the apps used to be. I also felt a little bit out of touch with reality for a while, I didn't feel like I knew what was going on in the world. I still have twitter on my phone because I use that for my regular news and I never spent too much time on that one anyway

I blocked websites I was using as well (LSA, Discord, Reddit, Tumblr, CDAN etc) changed my settings on my phone and iPad to "limit adult websites" (under Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > Content Restrictions > Web Content on the iPhone) and you can add "never allow" so any time I found myself habitually typing in those websites, it would come up as blocked. You can always unblock them but it at least gave me a pause to be like "wait, is this how I want to spend my time?"

Time limits on my iPad. I can't remember how I did it but you can add time limits for things. I'm not sure if it is with the apps or just websites but the websites I put a time limit on per day and when it expired, it expired (you can extend also)

I blocked anyone on IG or Twitter that wasn't serving my goal of cleansing. The trio, Lexniko, Tinx (cause I found her content was all over my page and I find what she pushes toxic). Any time I would see a post on my for you page that would be pushing Selena and Chris, I'd block them etc. I just didn't need that energy on my IG. I started following more body positive accounts and those good news account, cute animal accounts etc and steered away from celebrity stuff. I even blocked OK Magazine after they posted some fake news article cause I was like "why do I need to see this rubbish, there's enough fake news in this world." Now my for you page is baby goats mostly and it's wonderful lol.

I went extreme. And because I cut off so much, I noticed just how much of my day was being consumed by all of this. I sometimes find myself slipping back into the mindless scrolling if I've been stressed or there was nothing else to do but on the whole, the scrolling lasts for 15 mins instead of hours. And I do it and then I'm done for the day.

It's also helped me pull myself out of it and see just how ridiculous a lot of this stuff is. I'll come on and see someone post about a like or a follow and it doesn't affect me. I just have realized just how unimportant social media is in the grand scheme of things and I just roll my eyes like "come on, this isn't even logical". Which 6 months ago, I was one of the people who was like oh but it does mean something. So it helped me get back to reality a little bit.

I'm not saying you have to stop but I will say, it has really really changed my life for the BETTER. I am so much more present. I didn't realize just how much I was NOT living because I was so sucked into this stuff. And I started it because during the pandemic, I was stuck inside, like we all were, and I just needed something to do and then it spiraled. And now, I get to enjoy the content from Chris for what it is - a cute dodger pic or a cool trailer, fun interviews upcoming for the press tour and it has made consuming his content back to how it should be, you know?

I hope this helps someone! It was difficult, it really was, but I'm so glad I powered through that "withdrawal" stage. And the fact that it was so difficult to stop in the beginning made me see how toxic it was.

Thanks for coming back to share! 🦎

[wonderloste]

hi my love. i bring gifts. ♥, ♢, ✂, ❣

gather around the campfire for story time meme.

i’ll do the first one last cuz u know what the story is lol but

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz. sb who is long, long gone once stole my entire character when i was on my old blog JHBENGJHN right down to his character design and aspects of who he was and i know this bc it was an oc i had that was like drastically different than the canon character he was born from, so my portrayal was like... really really specific. i never confronted them or anything bc i didn’t rlly care enough to, but i still remember it being funny kinda cuz they took my black muse and made him a psd that turned him orange. ORANGE. 😭😭 IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD TO MAKE PSDS FOR BLACK CHARACTERS Y’ALL IT’S JUST NOT KJENRHMKJM PLEASE. anw they kinda just ended up fading away so there was no altercation or anything. they tried 2 blame me for getting anon hate once that was like “you stole UNiCoRN’S cHArACtErrr” but one of their friends outed them for sending it to themselves. 🤡

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting? i don’t have much to say on this one, but probably the p*rsona fandom. i’ve met a lot of really really nice and chill people who rp in that fandom and i think i’ve heard it’s gotten better? but man the p*rsona fandom and the d*ng*nr*npa fandom back in the day were hand in hand with each other. it was always something.

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? honestly not that salty. i know i have some wild stories, but i need to stress that i’ve moved on from p much everything i talk about KJNERHKJNM. for most of this it has ACTUALLY been years. this is stuff that happened when i was much younger and put much more stock in my emotions on tumblr. i’m fine now. it’s all a little funny to me, aside from, like, the horrific stuff which isn’t funny but sure is a story to tell.

under the cut,

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise? - oh god another one i- JKNMHKJNM how quickly can i summarize That One debacle. there was sb on tumblr i was friends with for a while in a small rpc who sent me homophobic news articles one night when i was sui*cidal due to some unfortunate politics tm happening at the time and so as u remember the entire small little community ended up cutting her off after that cuz wtf. found out she’d been pretending to be her own friend on another blog where she sent us harassing msgs about whatever after she got blocked. vagued us in her rules when she moved to other blogs but still passive aggressively followed & unfollowed us, sent us msgs, etc. yada yada w/e we all moved on but then a year or two later??? she popped up in another fandom and got anon hate abt whitewashing her black muse. blamed me for it & said my friends and i sent it (we did not, the person who sent it ended up taking responsibility) but not before starting a HUGE, HUGE public fight on our dashboards where she was literally @’ing us in posts and vice versa. unblocked her so she could come to my ims instead, immediately started crytyping and gaslighting me. closed my ims bc i decided actually i’d rather fight on the dash KJBNERKGJNM 😭😭 ended up having to write a callout that exposed all the times she’d been racist, homophobic, transphobic, + harassing/gaslighting us in ims and posts even after we’d all quietly blocked her and tried to move on. to this day i still think abt all the shit we had saved up over the year(s) proving everything and she still went off about us being the ones who were trying to defame her and harass her or whatever. that day made me feel like i was out of my mind. if you knew me back then on that blog and saw all of that i am so sorry, i put up with so much before it reached that point aaaaaaaaaa. i wish i’d handled it better but honestly i was still a teenager when it started n a young adult when it blew up and this grown ass (almost 30 yo??? iirc??) racist homophobe was coming for my throat i just didn’t know what to do kjnmhkhn feel bad for ppl who witnessed it. feel even worse for myself cuz i could’ve handled it in a way that hurt me less. the Trauma that experience gave me good lord.

NOT related to that ^ but more lighthearted, one time this person i was chill with messaged my literal closest friend at the time on this site and shit talked me to her. she proceeded to inform me of it bc we were like. very publicly good friends. idk what they were expecting. they got mad bc she “chose” me over them. it was so weird. and very funny kjnMKJNEMRHKJM

#saltyspitoon meme — #◟ ⋆ OOC › otome games are my thirteenth reason. #londonfallen

[groggyaeneator]

More emotionally mature post about the situation, now that some time has passed. (Posting this so it can be linked in my pin, followers dw about it)

The old post is still up if you wanna dig through my personal tag for it, but I'm not going to link it here. But as I said in that one, this is not meant to be a callout post. This is me processing and trying my best to clear up misconceptions about me. Please do not go after June. Please do not rope June back into this. The only reason I'm making this is because I'm still catching wind of folks connected to her checking up on this blog. And at this point, I'm just tired, and I don't need her trying to retaliate against me or rope ME back into this.

June was and continues to be emotionally abusive towards me. I'm not saying this without basis. I've been avoiding using the word abusive to describe it for a while, and only after my therapist's insistence and support am I calling it that. I have the messages archived where she would gaslight me, daily, to the point I fell into a suicidal spiral. (Gaslight is another word I have hesitated to use, until my therapist broke it down for me and made me come to terms with the truth of it.) I have the messages where I was confused and crying and just trying to understand why she was mad at me, where she responded in threats to break up with me, hurt me, or come to my house and kill me. I have the constant reminders of the people who I was outed to, after she block evaded me through a friend who she convinced I was about to attempt suicide to, with disastrous consequences. I have the evidence of property of mine that has been destroyed by her. I have the memories, of the times where she endangered my life and called me paranoid, silly, and in need of mental help when I insisted that she not put me in harms way. This isn't exhaustive, but I don't really want to go into the deeper stuff. I was not the worlds best boyfriend; I had paranoia issues that led to me needing a lot of reassurance, and I probably wasn't in a good place for a romantic relationship, but I don't think this takes away from what was done to me. Part of me, also, still believes that June's a good person at heart, who does not realize she was this abusive towards me, even though all of my friends and my therapist seem to think it was intentional and calculated. I want to say June is a good person who just got in her own head. I really want to believe that.

I still don't know what June has been saying about me, aside from the context of my ban from Elekk and the anon hate I've gotten here about the situation. But I do know she's been spreading that I block evaded her, and while I guess on SOME level that's very technically true, I think it was justified and I want to explain myself:

For starters, towards the end of our relationship, June had made a habit of blocking me, unblocking me to say something rude, then blocking me again. She would also have me blocked on one platform, then continue to engage with me on another. She has block evaded me before, with the worst case mentioned above, but that wasn't the only time. A week prior to her getting me banned from Elekk, I noticed I was blocked by her partner on fedi, and approached her on snapchat about it, not asking for an explanation or demanding she get involved, but just letting her know "Hey, if I did something to offend [partner], I want to right whatever I did if it's possible. If you don't know anything, don't worry about it, no need to get involved, I'm not owed an explanation." June responded by encouraging me and then pressuring me to message her partner on other platforms to seek an explanation, which I declined, before she got angry with me and I stopped responding. All things considered, "block evasion" did not ring high for me of a boundary that June regarded very highly.

A week after she encouraged me to block evade her parnet, she messaged me on snapchat about something silly that happened to her on a dating app, I responded with a joke, and then I got off work to find out that I was blocked by her on snapchat and that our conversation history had been deleted. Something about snapchat, if you are unaware, is that once someone blocks you you cannot block them back because their profile does not show up. Knowing this, and having been coming to terms with the nature of our relationship in therapy, I was ready for this to be over with and I really did not want June to unblock me later and try to engage with me again. So, I sent her a text message explaining as much. Was this text message perfectly worded? No. It was messy, sloppy, and emotionally fueled. But the message served to tell her that I no longer wanted her to contact me or use my friends as ways of getting around contacting me, that I did not want to interact with her further, that I wanted her to keep me blocked/block me elsewhere and forget about me.

When I got off work the next day, I opened fedi to people calling me a creep. I was banned from my instance. I opened tumblr to find my inbox filled with anon hate. (I have no idea what she has said about me specifically, I never attempted to check up on her socials or seek out what was being said, but I in no way believe it can be honest considering this reaction.) In the ensuing week(s), I find out that June has attempted to match with one of my closest friends on tinder and has continued to try to reach out to another one of my friends on snapchat to convince them to leave me. These are two people who have only ever interacted with June through me, who June has even tried to cut me off from. Rather than leave me alone, she has continued to try to weasel into my life through adjacent means.

I don't see it ending any time soon. I really do just want to be left alone. There are more wounds from this relationship than what I initially suspected, and I am trying to heal through them with therapy and reconnecting to the friends I neglected during this relationship. I am hurt and broken in ways that I can't even begin to describe. But I am also really working on getting better. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and a great support network, and a solid future ahead of me.

If you came to my blog to try to harass me or check up on me, I just want you to first consider if you're doing anything better than what June has accused me of. I also want you to take a moment and consider who you trust, and how quickly you trust them, and if you enable them or white knight for them, especially if you only know them from behind a screen. Lastly, I just want to be left alone, so I can grow, heal, and move on. Thank you.

#gA is typing

[vangoghingdavinci]

5:04 PM

aug3.23

got my new glasses...

and yes 🙄

i thought of you again as i walked to the mall...

but "cross my heart, hope to die, put a needle in my eye"--- this is the last time 🙄🥺😳💀

7:57 PM

i miss our conversations

i cannot recall ever having such wonderful conversation with anyone...

i'm glad i experienced that with you...

i miss reading poetry for you... maybe i should read poems to B now...

but what poem? all the love poems that i loved i read them to you...

i wonder when i'll stop thinking of you leo...

maybe i'm not thinking about you anymore

maybe i'm just talking to myself...

i really am talking to myself...

i have new glasses... i have astigmatism and etc... i don't like wearing glasses... but the doctor said i should ... i like writing here on the phone....clearer now...

i walked on the way to the mall and i walked back to... i wish the road construction will be finished fast... i think i'll do more walking then:-)

and maybe i wouldn't think much about you.

I'm reading the Hypertext of HerMe(s), Hermes is feminized :-) Her -- for the artist writer herself, ans Me, about her, but she's a multiplicity so with S, pluralized, isn't that interesting:-)

And guess what? the laptop screen is so clear now... but i'm here downstairs... the swing is all mine tonight, last night the moon was so pretty...

and yes, i thought of you as i looked at the moon...

i wonder when will i ever stop thinking of you?

it was okey to be obsessed with you when we were together... but now, it seems strange... i deactivated for a month after i blocked unblocked you so many times... i wonder why even to this day, i still think of you...

leo

i really did not think we would end this way... painful... angry....sad... and empty

we were so full of love

i feel like my love for you spilled over...

But look at us now...

distance was not an issue then, because we were together always in those two beautiful months...

silence

---yes i'm crying now

our soul ties are removed...

but i still cry, i still cry for us... for myself...

i don't feel that gnawing pain in my heart...

but the lump in my throat... that's something i cannot control yet... and this tears... they just fall... almost 5 months... you left in march, we started talking in oct. Oct -March 5 months... March to August that's 5 months too, maybe by September, I'll stop thinking of you...

it's strange to still miss you and think of you after all this time, right? we never met...

i was just so deeply connected to you then...

i never expected that it would be this difficult for me... at first it was okey because of course it's V... then i guess i went crazy when i saw crystal, then the sky full of stars for larisa-- für dich... then larisa's crystal bracelet...

then your silence... all three emails unanswered... and my messages were seen except for two with i'm sorry... a heart for Sir Tony's video... then i'm okey family okey--- then blocked

i still cry...and i'm crying again

OMG, my frist time to wear my glasses... and i'm crying lol

i told lin about my pains... i told him i don't understand why i still cry ... but i didn't say anything more because it took me months and years 2020-2022 to be totally emotionally free from him... that freedom from unrequited "love?" --- or was that attachment?... anyway... that freedom was felt when you came... you made me feel how it feels to love and be loved... we were so fast... the falling in love... and i kept asking what happens after the honeymoon phase... lol... you left

leo, i blocked and unblocked lin millions of times... but he kept following me back and requested to follow afterwards... he didn't say anything, he never asked... he simply accepted that i am crazy lol... he knows that i had very strong feelings for him and he just don't care...

i told him i am hiding again... so he wouldn't wonder why i just vanish after "using" him as a confidante lol... but he's not the way he was... yes he kept telling me, "i'll always be here"... so maybe that's why he just replies... he told me to watch andrew huberman... i did... but lin isn't the lin that he was... he's emotionally unavailable... and so i cannot really talk to him the way I could before...

leo... i think i'm done with my public IG... it reminds me of you...

so maybe, even if i told him about you... i still don't feel that peace inside me... becuase i just told him facts... not feelings...

i'm grateful for lin's change... atleast i know, i cannot rely on him anymore....i only have myself and the heavens...

now that you still cross my mind

i avoid talking to lin too... not that i'm afraid that i might fall for him again... but i might become that needy friend who takes so much of his time... and yes of course... i do not want to expect anything from him...

so my IG is just there but no movement...

i'm sleepy now... i should go to bed...

how i wish we're still talking... so much to laugh about... and selfies to send lol... i would have loved us to have a photo with glasses together ...

you must have deleted our photos...

this end that we have....is simply heartbreakingly amazing

installed spotify again...

then uninstalled...

this is the nearest that i can be with you...

so... what's the playlist for Crystal?...

just curious...

---- hmmm yes...

i know leo, you really don't care... you never cared the moment you walked away...

[yourregularproblem]

Is blocking reALLy that powerful of a feeling?

The other day my friend, let's call her Matilda came upto me and said "I blocked him, I did it, I've never done it before but now I did it, he made me do it, he's turned me into this horrible person that I don't like and now I don't know what to be or how to go back to being myself" with a slightly teary eye.

Now don't get me wrong, usually I don't notice the important signs, but as I saw that teary eye, which was very slightly teared up may I remind you, I kept thinking if she is actually facing a whole loss of identity why is she not mourning more? Is it because she is in front of me? Is it because she is actually happy in that relationship and this is just a minor hiccup? Has she run out of tears to cry with this boy?

I completely spaced with that thought as she took the silence as room to share more and opened upto me more and more about the relationship between her and her guy whom I will refer to as 'Yuri' for now. The more I heard from Matilda's side the more I wondered how much I didn't know about the other side, did he feel the same way? Did he not feel that? Was he completely thoughtless about the little things?

Seeing from a third person pov it looked so normal and yet the more Matilda shared the redder she got about "having been with him despite all this and everyone warning her about the red flags" which is why apparently it was easy to share with me because I was not there for the past one year, as I recovered from that taunt I realised that you can never find someone with no red flags, someone you'll never block, a depressing thought isn't it? That you can never find someone who will never ever hurt you or make you angry?

That's when it hit me, you don't need to find someone with no red flags, it's just about finding someone who's red flags blend with your flags or some color, maybe red too, let's call these white flags, the common peace branch between s/o's.

After that as I tuned back in I realised she was almost at the end of her story of that one year with Yuri and so far he seemed like a good guy. And I was dreading the inevitable question coming towards my end, "did I do the right thing?"

Instead of speaking of the whole relationship I chose to talking about the smallest issue at hand,

'To be honest blocking him didn't seem like an all that bad option to me, there's a first for everything and this was your first, take your escape in the reason that you were too attention deprived and angry to think of anything else, as it is he's the one in the wrong. And because he seems like a good chap we both know he's gonna come and try to make it up to you for getting angry at something which seemed unfair but again, aren't all relationships like that?'

This is what I thought I would say...

In reality all that came out of my mouth was

Matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright

But I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside

You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days

It's none of my business, but it's just been on my mind

You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love

You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

You can see the world, following the seasons

Anywhere you go, you don't need a reason

'Cause they never showed you love

You don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own

I guess it's safe to say that post this I won't have to solve Matilda and Yuri's problems anymore after this, also safe to assume that Matilda felt really powerful after blocking me on this, because come on what's the point in blocking someone whom you will eventually have to unblock and you know it inside, rather block someone who hasn't been there for you at all through the year and sings songs as jokes when you come for genuine advice, that's powerful because you won't have to go back with tail between the legs and unblock them you can actually wait for them to come and try and talk to you. I take my win in knowing I atleast gave them something to patch up and talk about.

#long reads #relationship advice #shitty advice #shitpost #problem solving #blocking #matilda #getting blocked feels more powerful because you annoyed someone so much they couldnt stand it #power move

[olivieblake]

Hey, Olivie! Congratulations on all of the publishing news and expanding your family this year! I have lurked and followed your amazing work for many years. I have always appreciated the sound advice you have given to your little sisters of the internet, and I find that I am now facing a dilemma of my own. If you have the time, I would love to know what you think of my situation.

I have dated my boyfriend for five months (and he has been my best friend for the last 1.5 years). I recently learned that there is a woman impersonating a relationship with him on Facebook. He claims he only went on one date with her before we dated, and that they used to be friends. She does have pictures of him and his house in a few different settings, but only one set of recent pictures in public where he isn't smiling and he doesn't look happy or romantic. He has not mentioned her on FB since early this year. I normally would believe the woman and think he is cheating.

However, he has been in love with me since we met five years ago. I encouraged him to find someone else as I was afraid of commitment. I think he dated her during this time, which is fine. He said he would be settling for anyone other than me and his dating life fizzled around April. I didn't realize my feelings for him until June and we immediately began dating. I spent most weekends at his house, where he lives alone, over the past year. I have basically moved in over the past month.

I found out the woman was publicizing this relationship on Facebook a few weeks ago. (I'm not on Facebook myself.) I asked my boyfriend about her. That's when he said he had only been on one date with her years ago and was just nice to her afterward. He claimed to have her blocked on social media and said he had no contact with her. But, Olivie, she knew about a recent career change and she even made a post when his cat died! I suggested to him that she may be stalking him if he has not told her about these things. We agreed to proceed carefully and monitor the situation.

Tonight, this woman sent my mother a friend request. This is when I personally viewed her profile for the first time. (I had tried not to before so as to not stoke my anger and jealousy.) Tonight, I learned that she is claiming this relationship has gone on for four years. She has even made posts about wanting to marry him and have his kids! (I went with him for a vasectomy a while ago, so I guess she doesn't know everything.)

This isn't completely adding up for me. I asked him to deal with this before, and he just avoided it and blocked her more. I literally don't think he has the time to be performing in two different relationships. I have seen no evidence of him cheating other than her loving text posts on Facebook. Most of Google seems to say to leave the woman alone and let her lie on the internet. However, we live in a small town. Whereas I and my boyfriend have been very private about our relationship per my preference, this woman has been posting weekly about how much she loves him. For years at this point. I am worried I will get the reputation of the other woman. I have asked him to unblock her to specifically ask her to stop posting about him. He says he has asked her multiple times before, but I don't believe him. Am I being delusional here? Should I ask him to do more? Should I try to ignore this woman? I am concerned because she has started posting more frequently about him in the last month, since he fully blocked her. And now she is reaching out to my family which is unacceptable. Do you have any advice?? Thank you so much for listening to me, Olivie! I'm really flustered and I'm not sure what to do here.

disclaimer

so, this is one of the things I wanted to address in a video because of how sensitive a subject it is and how much it obviously impacts you (and we have spoken about this privately as you know), buuuuuuut at the same time this does exceed my personal expertise. so, just keep that in mind—I'm not a mental health professional or anyone trained in domestic disputes—but my gut instinct here is: your boyfriend may not be lying, but I also don't think he's telling you The Whole Truth. I have to say that while I doubt he has a completely separate life, I also don't think he's doing enough in this situation to address what could be very serious repercussions. while I wouldn't necessarily leap to the conclusion that this woman is completely nuts, you can't rule out things that aren't technically "dangerous" but very difficult to make go away, like harrassment at your work or doxxing all the way up to identity theft. I think there are people to block and ignore, definitely. social media trolls? block and ignore! but someone who is capable of contacting your family, and who is clearly escalating in this behavior since your boyfriend allegedly blocked her? that's not something to ignore

anyway, I do think there are potentially better sources of advice in the event that this does become a more volatile situation, but I would not leave this in your boyfriend's hands. I'm not treating this like a romance question, but if I were, I would truly think it's odd and potentially worrisome for the future of your relationship that he's not more concerned for you—to me, it either suggests he knows more than he's saying (i.e., that he knows why this woman is behaving this way, or he didn't tell her and/or you the whole truth) or he's simply too lazy to deal with it (or a combination, where he knows it is his fault to some degree and doesn't want to deal with that). it's up to you if you decide to reach out to her or not, but I would certainly treat this situation as potentially charged—this, to me, seems like something a social worker of some kind might be helpful with, or possibly a mutual acquaintance. please keep me updated!! not to worry you but uh, yeah, kinda worried haha. I would take this seriously, and not from the perspective of "my boyfriend has a secret love life" but more like "I may be unintentionally involved in a situation that's more complicated than I know about"

#big sistering

[sinsbymanka]

Hey. I'm sorry. So. Your post about sunseekerknight is really long and it seems out of date. I thought everything had been resolved and she promised to make amends but this all started back around again and it sounds like your issue isn't solved. Can you update me real quick? Sorry.

Thanks for being polite and coming to me. I’ll try to summarize things to the best of ability while also noting this is kinda a clusterfuck. It got long, so it’s under a cut.

In March 2020, I commissioned @sunseekerknight (I’m blocked so I can’t actually @ her) to do a Tarot Card commission of my Inquisitor for $80. I sent the money via PayPal friends and family as she requested which is something I no longer do for artists, even though I’d done it before with no problems. 

The main post goes over my initial experience really well - the repeated attempts at contact and missed deadlines. This post was made on June 18, 2020 and blew up. I informed Ada that day I was making the post and she told me she’d be doing so as well. 

I’d already filed the PayPal claim which was ultimately denied because I’d sent the money via friends and family, despite SSK’s assurances she’d help me resolve it in my favor. 

I didn’t hear from SSK after this and I didn’t contact her. My father passed away on June 20th and I was busy dealing with the personal fallout of that (he’d been in the hospital the whole month of June as it was) so my priorities swung towards processing my own grief and planning what happens next. 

On July 10th, my PayPal claim was denied. I forwarded the claim to SSK with the following message:

I want to inform you that PayPal has indicated, due to the way you asked me to send the funds (friends and family), they are unable to provide any sort of refund based on their policies. It is your responsibility to make the refund.

Because of the history of fraud I've uncovered, I will be pursuing this further. I am, in particular, asking PayPal to mark this account as one used for fraudulent transactions and scamming money before closing it. My hope is that this account is in your real name and that getting this account marked for fraud has real consequences you have to live with.

I honestly didn’t expect to hear from SSK again, but I did on July 12th: 

Oh, I see. Now the difficult situation has become even more difficult. I'm sorry to say this, but, as I said earlier, I had only two offers for people affected by my actions - a PayPal dispute or finished art. And since PayPal is useless in this situation, all I can offer you - is art. I’m still ready to finish your commission because I don't want you to be left with nothing. I would like to return the money, really, but it will take time and I don't know how much, considering the current situation on Tumblr. I still want to resolve this issue peacefully, despite what is happening now. I know that you don't trust me, and I understand this, as well as the fact that you are disappointed, angry, etc., but still I want to do at least something so as not to leave the situation as it is now. But if this is your final decision, then okay, I understand and accept it.

This message struck me as victim blaming. I am, after all, responsible for the situation on Tumblr which means she can’t get commissions. I reacted with some venom and my tone is not great here, but I do ask you to understand the frame of mind I was in here on July 13th: 

I don't think it's fair to claim that PayPal is being unhelpful in this situation when it is you who are refusing to refund money for a service that was purchased and not completed. I think it would make me feel better if you started phrasing the "situation" in a way that took responsibility for it. Such as: "I cannot refund the money to you myself, because I spent it before delivering what you paid for, and I cannot get your dispute resolved through PayPal because I asked you to send the payment a specific way that precludes disputes." 

I also feel hurt that immediately after I sent my email on Friday, you blocked me from Tumblr and turned all your social media accounts private. I can't think of why you would do this when you claim to still want to resolve this and when I have been more than kind. I find it difficult to believe that you didn't know what my review would cause - it sounds to me like this is something that has been brewing for awhile. Frankly, I'm amazed it took three years. I would also appreciate if, instead of blaming the "situation" on Tumblr for your inability to receive new commissions, you began taking responsibility for that as well. May I suggest: "My actions in the past three years have harmed many people and they are angry about it with good cause. Because I have damaged my reputation to a great extent, I will probably not receive many, if any, people willing to pay me money for commissions." 

I fully expect to receive nothing from you: art or my money returned. When speaking with PayPal on Friday, they advised the only way to shut your PayPal account down is if I file a criminal complaint with the IC3, which is the US's Internet Crimes division of the FBI. I did so and sent them the screenshots I have of all our conversations, your posts on Tumblr, and links to the posts of other people who publicly came out regarding the same behavior they experienced. I'm uncertain I can withdraw my complaints from both PayPal and the IC3, and if I could I don't think I would. I'm sure this isn't something that is high priority for them, but I assume eventually they will contact you to discuss your actions. The way I see it, you have three options at this point in time:

Find some way to issue a refund to me, and any other customers you've wronged. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a refund was eventually issued in my case. 

Deliver the art you promised to me, and any other customers. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a product was eventually delivered in my case. 

Continue to ignore what you've done and hope that no real consequences come of it. 

As to the art, I don't want it anymore. It has been tainted by this awful experience and I will not enjoy it. I will, however, accept it if you choose to do it to lessen whatever consequences you may end up facing because, truly, I'd rather you learn from this than end up with financial or legal consequences that are even more burdensome. 

Honestly. I never expected to hear from SSK again. But I did because this is the drama that never ends. On July 20th: 

I must apologize for the long silence. Sorry, I just got home from an unexpected vacation with my family, and I followed the advice of my parents and friends - spend these days away from work and the Internet to feel better. As I said, I understand you. You sound reasonable and you are totally right - it is my responsibility for that. And I'm trying to work it out, even if these are rather strange ways. And it wasn't about you personally. This was part of another problem with a friend I was trying to protect, and I followed the advice to keep the accounts private during the "war" and block some people on the tumblr during this time to avoid any collisions. But still, I was available for correspondence via email, and now all my accounts are again freely available. I know how it looks like, especially for you, when you have really been more than kind to me, and I cannot apologize enough to somehow change and improve this situation. I just fucked up on all fronts and I admit it. And I see, yes. I don't mind returning your art or money, it's just a matter of time. These are not days, these are weeks or months, and it is solely a matter of your patience. If you do not mind waiting, then I will try to return the money to you, since you no longer want art for obvious reasons. I understand and accept it, and it's okay. If you're willing to wait, I'll keep you informed of the refund situation and will do it as soon as I can.

You’ll note earlier I told you I can’t tag SSK cause I’m blocked. I’ve never been unblocked since July despite her saying she would. This is also the last email I got from SSK. I’ve had no communication since to my knowledge.

At this point in time I was tired. Really tired. It was bad news I got this email exactly a month after my father passed because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. This is my second to last email to SSK in response also on July 20th: 

Please feel free to do what you need to do to manage the situation. For my part, I have said and done all I can. I have asked for a refund for a service you have been unable to provide in a reasonable time frame, and thus you are legally obligated to return my money in the same reasonable time frame. That time frame has passed already.

When I am contacted by authorities about this matter in response to my complaints, I will tell them you have promised refunds but have not delivered. The only thing you could do to change this answer is to issue a refund before I am contacted.

This exchange is draining and unhelpful for me. I ask that you please do not contact me again until you are ready to issue a refund. 

On September 25th, I was informed SSK had successfully opened commissions on Twitter and Instagram. This spurred me to send one final email: 

I've been informed you recently reopened commissions to buy yourself something and met your goal, even though you only advertised on Twitter and Instagram. 

I would like to remind you that I'm still owed a refund AND you shouldn't spend that commission money until you deliver on that art. Please do not rip and entire new group of people off. 

There are other people, in the notes of the original post, who can attest to terrible experiences similar to mine. In particular, @starsandskies, @vorchagirl, and @charlatron have all come forward to talk about what she’s done and their experiences. Her pattern seems to be to open commissions, deliver a few, have the rest dragged out of her, and then to not do other ones. I drew the short straw this time. 

I don’t know if she’s reading this - if she is, at this point all I really want is an apology, a list of people who are waiting for art/refunds from her, and a plan as to how she’s going to make it right. If she doesn’t do those things, I suspect I’m going to keep getting dragged back into this cluster for awhile to talk about my experiences. 

If you’re waiting for artwork Non, open PayPal disputes and file complaints if you need to. The sooner the better. 

#manka answers asks #sunseekerknight #this again #I'm tired of it again #sorry guys

[heidiofans]

There's a difference between sincere and insincere apologies. Someone who sincerely regrets something they did can explain why it was wrong, and will make an effort to not repeat the behavior or action.

An insincere apology is an apology for the sake of apology, because they might look like a mean person to others for not apologizing, or it shifts blame to another person. Things like "Sorry your feelings were hurt" or "Sorry but..." followed by an explanation of how the person being apologized to is actually 100% at fault, with the expectation that the person being apologized to should offer their own apology for making another person act the way they did.

What does Holly's apology have? An explanation of what she did wrong, an explanation of why it was wrong, an apology, and a promise to grow from the mistake. Has Holly called Heidi "unfixable" since then? Has she even hinted that she is? No? Well, unless Holly suddenly pops off calling Heidi literal unfixable trash, I can find it safe to assume that she has learned from her past. Just because Heidi's followers and lolcow can ignore her actually trying to improve herself, doesn't mean that she isn't really trying to improve herself.

And what does Heidi do? Claim that the apology wasn't sincere because Holly didn't say her name. And then she claimed that Holly is only sorry that "she looks bad". Also, Heidi just so happened to include Holly's previous tweet where she says "If I did anything horrible, please tell me. I want to know what's real and what's not". Heidi focused on the second tweet that was specifically about her, but cropped her screencap to include that part, as well as the screencap showing that Holly blocked her, knowing her followers will see it and act on it.

And they are, they're attacking Holly for not saying Heidi's name, for blocking her, for not giving a "real apology" or "not really being sorry". People have even told Holly to unblock and reach out to Heidi directly and apologize to her as if Heidi and her followers won't use that against her as well. Heidi threw her bait in, and her followers bit hard.

And now people are acting like Holly's bad for....blocking the people harassing her? And don't give me that "they're just telling her what she did wrong" bullshit, they're just regurgitating what Heidi said over and over.

(And I suppose we should ignore Heidi blocking anyone who doesn't adore her every word?)

None of Heidi's followers see a problem with this? Nobody thinks mass replying to someone with "unblock Heidi and apologize to her directly" is wrong in any way? OK then.

#Those flying monkeys are out in full force tonight #heidi o'ferrall #heidi o ferrall #atelierheidi #twitter #lolcow #holly conrad #atelier heidi #harassment #abuse #narcissism