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#I am hilarious stfu
chaoffee · 4 months
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Hi, yes, if any of you like chat sims where you can rizz up a character (like imagine Error143 or Blooming Panic), please play A Date with Death.
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widevibratobitch · 10 months
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when i say i am obsessed with him
#'indescribable insolence' <3333#dumas writing aramis in '20 years after':#i am going to create a character that is so egdy sarcastic provocative and irritating to everyone around him#and im gonna make stirring shit being an asshole and gruesome murder his favourite hobbies#and he did just as he said. bless him.#most character ever#and what makes him even better is the contrast between 20YA!aramis and t3M!aramis. its hilarious.#my man really went feral. midlife crisis some call it. i call it character development of all time. i call it serving cunt.#aramis as a musketeer a soldier a man in a profession where you're literally paid for killing people:#sweetness and mildness personified writes poetry and theology essays in his free time never gambles dreams about dedicating his life to god#aramis as a priest: whooo boy i hope i get to fUCKING KILL A PERSON TODAY >:D#anyway. i love him a normal amount or something.#the three musketeers#alexandre dumas#anyway. i reread this scene and the charenton battle today because it's definitely in my top 3 aramis moments#also the english translation on the gutenberg page omits two lines of dialogue that i remembered from my polish translation#and it goes something like#de Chatillon says 'i think you're looking for a fight sir' to which Aramis basically responds with 'oh nooo you *think*? Imao'. iconic.#(and its even funnier cause that makes athos immediately go 'aramis stfu plz' and aramis just goes 'no <3' im obsessed with them)#vingt ans apres#do i have a#twenty years after#tag?? not sure tbh i think i dont but tagging just in case ig
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ithinkdogshouldvote2 · 7 months
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Sparrow Oak-Garcia is the second best kiddad after Terry Jr. I'm so not sorry.
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osaemu · 7 months
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just responded to most of my unanswered replies, sorry i sound super dry right now but dw the dilf gojo work is anything but dry :3
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sunlightfeeling · 5 months
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Fiiveee shots of gin is su yummy
def recommend….perhaps……
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bodhimcbodeface · 6 months
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Ugh sometimes you just gotta curl up on your side and let The Brains pass over you
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fierrochaseist4t · 2 years
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im just thinking about donald troy wearing oversized hoodies a lot. like waaayyyyy oversized, and when someone asks why he always wears hoodies that practically fall off of him, talia will pop her head out from the neck hole revealing that she's just always in there, hugging him like a koala
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raine-witcher · 4 months
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On one hand it may sound egotistical to try and convince myself I am genuinely a good person and people like me. But I’d rather keep trying to convince myself of that narrative instead of the alternative of “everyone fucking hates being around you” y’know?
0 notes
love-belle · 7 months
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today and tomorrow and every day after that !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them pretending as if they haven't already made it till forever.
or
for when it'll be them today, tomorrow and then a day after that. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader
prequel - i should hate you ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - it's 3am and im tired. thank u and i hope u like it <3
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, carmenmmundt and 789,416 others
yourusername his big wet eyes and loser personality have captivated me
tagged maxverstappen1
7,628 comments
username STFU OMG
username NO WAY SHE POSTED HIM AFTER MONTHS FOR RADIO SILENCE
username GIRL WHAT
username kinda hypocritical of u to go back to ur ex after yelling at us to fuck him (figuratively)
-> yourusername sorry bb he cried until i gave in
-> maxverstappen1 stop spreading lies
username the way i js relaxed and it wasn't even my relationship like DAMN
username im a child of TOGETHER parents
username i need this
danielricciardo i better be the godfather of your vaginal demons
-> yourusername pls take back ur bf heidiberger_
-> heidiberger_ timeout. NOW.
-> maxverstappen1 why only HER vaginal demons. i helped too
-> danielricciardo yeah for like 2 seconds
-> yourusername STOP TALKING ABT MT VAGINAL DEMONS
-> yourusername oh god
-> username "i helped too" LMFAOAOAOAN WTF
maxverstappen1 this is cyber bullying
-> yourusername stfu i love those photos like fetus maximus ❤️
-> maxverstappen1 that's not my name and you know it
-> yourusername honestly u should he HONOURED that u share a name with maximus the horse 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
username who needs reality tv when u have this comments section
username everyday i discover something entirely new about this whole group and atp im not even surprised
username don't post me unless the caption is "his big wet eyes and loser personality have captivated me"
maxverstappen1 i don't have a loser personality
-> yourusername u wear skinny jeans
-> username gagged him
-> username no bc they need to GO
maxverstappen1 okay but i could be your loser boyfriend, you ever think of that?
-> yourusername ur already my loser husband wdym
-> danielricciardo GIRL
-> maxverstappen1 wow
-> yourusername oh
-> yourusername haha surprise people
-> username say what the fuck now
-> username istg if i find out that they're MARRIED after WEEKS of agony and pain i will riot
maxverstappen1 you suck at keeping secrets
-> yourusername u suck in general
-> maxverstappen1 real mature
username i'd die for them and they don't even know me
username WHATTHEFYCK
username i did not see this coming wtfff
username WHEN WAS THIS.
username no bc the fact that they STILL don't follow each other is HILARIOUS
username giggling rn he's so babygirl i love him
lilymhe run away with me
-> yourusername absolutely
-> maxverstappen1 aren't you MY wife
-> lilymhe divorce exists
-> yourusername she has a point
username im paralysed like WHAT DO U MEAN THEY'RE MARRIED
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 895,315 others
maxverstappen1 something about how i'd marry you with paper rings and in this case, a string (or $1 rings from vending machine)
tagged yourusername
9,628 comments
maxverstappen1 i did not write the caption
-> maxverstappen1 y/n wrote this caption
-> yourusername i did not write this caption
username bitches be crying bc two people who do not know her at all are being cute and parents i am bitches
username she can spit on me
-> username she can ruin me actually
username nah ur not ginna distract us w this post WE NEED ANSWERS
-> username FRRRR LIKE WDYM UR HER HUSBAND
username pretty people (max and y/n) ruining it for the others (me)
username last slide made my heart crack
charles_leclerc i have heard you sing that little song to yourself. you wrote this caption.
-> maxverstappen1 i hope you like my rear
-> yourusername no bc he actually does
-> charles_leclerc i mean...
-> maxverstappen1 are we about to kiss right now?
-> alexandrasaintmleux does this mean......yourusername
-> yourusername babe come over ❤️
-> username what in the world is happening in this comments section
username everyday i wake up against my will and lose a part of myself knowing that my wife was snatched up by a vroom vroom mutation
username max it's ok to love ur wife!!!!!!!! we do too!!!!!!!!
-> maxverstappen1 she's not my wife. referring to her as such damages my reputation
-> yourusername i hope u like the doghouse
-> maxverstappen1 fun fact! we don't have a dog
-> yourusername new fact! now we do
-> maxverstappen1 uh
-> username i live for y/n terrorizing max every moment of the day
username nah my eyes are js overflowing with fluid im not crying 😂😂😂😂😂
username someone sedate me...........is max being romantic (?????????) on the main
username this is the peak of my existence
username lord what have i done wrong
danielricciardo as if you're not literally sitting on her lap right now
-> maxverstappen1 she tripped me
-> yourusername u literally told me that u would commit heinous crimes if i didn't let u sit on my lap
-> maxverstappen1 you tripped me
-> username i need to put his brain under a microscope and js SEE
-> username no bc how he goes from point a to point b needs to be scientifically studied
username don't mind me js going crazy over the fact that my parents MAY be married
yourusername u told me that i was the one who should propose
-> maxverstappen1 yes
-> yourusername and then snatched my ring and proposed to ME with MY ring
-> maxverstappen1 yes
-> yourusername yeah lemme js 🧠🔬
yourusername in any case, the answer would be fuck no ❤️
-> maxverstappen1 i'm calling christian and telling him that you're bullying his first driver.
yourusername IT'S A LOVE STORY BABY JS SAY YES!!!!!!!! (yes)
-> maxverstappen1 uh, i already asked charles_leclerc so...
-> charles_leclerc sorry
-> yourusername homwrecker
-> charles_leclerc there was no home to wreck
-> yourusername yeah i'll js sing boyfriend by dove cameron to alex instead
username this comments section is what keeps me up at night
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by maxverstappen1, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 1,527,278 others
yourusername babygirl u are a very freak and strange. i am deeply in love with u. all jokes aside, we made it. i know we got married like weeks ago but marrying u like FOR REAL has been the most beautiful moment of my life. i wanna spend everyday with u, in this life and all the others. vegas was a trip but even then, it was perfect with u, the one i was marrying and as taylor swift said "i like shiny things but i'd marry u with paper rings" or in our case, $1 rings from the vending machine. i wanna go to museums with u and point to pictures with weird guys and say "that's u". i wanna dance in the kitchen with u. i wanna look back after decades at all these memories and laugh, knowing that my now-self made the best decision. i love u even if u have me saved as "DO NOT ANSWER ❌" in ur phone. i think forever would be nice with u or till death do us apart (or someone in a suit if this escalates to a divorce).
tagged maxverstappen1
11,628 comments
username give me a minute. or a year
username hahahahahahaha PAUSE.
username no bc i missed the WHOLE BOOK instead of chapters
username and this is how they managed to break the f1 fandom
username PLEASE IM CRYING WHATCTYENFUCK
username they 😭 got 😭 married 😭
username IM CRYING WHATTTEYEGDHDJD
carmenmmundt all my love to both of you !! i love you and you deserve nothing but happiness 🤍 thank you so much for letting me be a part of your special day
-> yourusername carmen 🤍🤍🤍 u own my heart and thank UUUUUU for being a part of my big day
username "i think forever would be nice with u or till death do us apart (or someone in a suit if this escalates to a divorce)" y/n y/l/n how does it feel to be the most hilarious person ever 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
username im in SHAMBLES rn what the fuck
username someone sedate me bc there's NO way this is real
landonorris good luck because he's with you till you decompose
-> maxverstappen1 i'll go with her into the afterlife too like who the fuck she trying to meet there
-> yourusername bold of u to assume you'd even get in
-> maxverstappen1 is this what married life is like???
username i am unwell
username "i wanna go to museums with u and point to pictures with weird guys and say "that's u"" THIS IS TRUE LOVE
username and adding onto my 262728292 reasons
username the caption has me shaking on the floor gasping for breath
username i have PRAYED for times like these
username FUCJ YESHSHHSJSJSJS
danielricciardo the best night even though i don't remember any of it
-> yourusername u tried to set our marriage certificate on fire saying "it's set in stone now"
-> danielricciardo doing god's work
-> username no bc y/nmax nation would be in RUINS if it weren't for daniel
username sobbing they're soooo parents now it's crazy
username i js woke up whatcthebfufk
username AHSHSJJKKSSKAKSJSJKS
maxverstappen1 never changing your contact name
-> yourusername this is so not sexie new husband of u
maxverstappen1 we look lovely
-> yourusername yes we do
maxverstappen1 mrs. y/l/n-verstappen
-> yourusername mr. verstappen-y/l/n
username YELLING THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY
username screeching when will it be my turn
username never ever ever getting over this caption
username this will go down in history for YEARS to come
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,128,268 others
maxverstappen1 never really did sappy posts but this means the world to me and i guess there's a first (???) time for everything. all i can say is that i truly cannot wait to spend all my days with you and go to sleep thinking that i can't wait to do it again tomorrow. and i think, there's nothing more lovelier than that. you once told me that i deserved the world, i hope we get to see it together. i wanna hear how your day was, today and tomorrow and every day after that. but before getting to all those tomorrows, here's to our forever that's summed up for me in a small moment.
tagged yourusername
13,628 comments
username shut up and think about what u did
username i can't cry im in class WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME
username no bc this is literally my last straw ENOUGH
username "here's to our forever that's summed up for me in a small moment" THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE AND IT MADE ME SOB
username no bc he had no RIGHT to post this
username girlypop im still recovering from y/n's post give me 4-5 business years
username not cool max verstappen not COOL.
username tears are streaming down my face what the actual fuck
landonorris okay i shed a few tears
-> maxverstappen1 mate you were sobbing while giving your speech
-> landonorris I SUFFERED THE MOST OKAY
-> username no bc lando is their ACTUAL child of divorce
username this is ASTRONOMICAL like this is INSANE
username the bar is so high it js looks like a dash at this point
username everyone go home. max js won
-> maxverstappen1 winning on and off track
-> yourusername u cried when i beat u in mario kart
-> maxverstappen1 I CAN'T DRIVE
-> yourusername UR A PROFESSIONAL DRIVER
username further proof of if he wanted to he would
username "i truly cannot wait to spend all my days with you and go to sleep thinking that i can't wait to do it again tomorrow" js take me swiftly and now
username IN LOVE WITH THEIR WEDDING AESTHETIC LIKE IT EATS SO HARD
username i've prayed for times like these ❤️
charles_leclerc can't believe you would cheat on me
-> maxverstappen1 might just leave her for you
-> yourusername is this a bad time to tell u both that im already seeing someone???? alexandrasaintmleux
-> alexandrasaintmleux my angel ❤️
-> charles_leclerc wait a minute
-> maxverstappen1 now hold on
username live for men are unapologetically in love with their partners like there's nothing more sexy than that
username liar every single post abt y/n has been a sappy post
-> maxverstappen1 she holds me hostage every time
-> yourusername divorce papers look so sexy rn
username IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG JOURNEY Y'ALL WE MADE IT
username my babies ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
danielricciardo tell lando i'm the godfather
-> landonorris he WON'T because you're NOT
-> maxverstappen1 guys we don't even have a baby
-> danielricciardo obviously we're talking about the future. your swimmers ain't THAT competitive unlike you
-> yourusername BAHAHAHAHA PLEASE UR SO WRONG FOR THAT
-> maxverstappen1 and you're officially out of the godfather contestants
username need a documentary on this like my life depends on this bc it DOES
username i never will be moving on from this post
yourusername i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
-> maxverstappen1 likewise
-> yourusername yeah i'll just
*yourusername deleted this comment*
yourusername ty
-> maxverstappen1 have a sense of humour
-> yourusername i married u what's funnier than THAT
-> username CLEARED HIM
-> username LFMSOAOAOAO
yourusername nice caption, wonder who edited it 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
-> maxverstappen1 i don't know, this girl who follows me everywhere and calls me maximus
-> yourusername she sounds cute
-> maxverstappen1 yeah, she really is
yourusername nvm idgaf I LOVEEEEEE YOU
-> maxverstappen1 i love you more
yourusername husband
-> maxverstappen1 wife
username giggling rn im sooooo happy
username i will show this to my kids
2K notes · View notes
chrisevansonly · 9 months
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𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 | 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬
✯social media au
✯lando norris x female reader
✯a florist and an f1 driver, shall we say perfect match?
✯not requested just a cute idea i had<3
y/ninstagram
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liked by floralmagazine, flonorrisshowjumping, lilyhme and 89,000 others
nothing makes me happier than getting to spend all day doing what I love in a shop I created 2 years ago today. happy birthday to my baby🩷
see 10,000 comments
username i went there yesterday it was so cute!
>y/ninstagram thank you so much!🩷🩷
username those colours!!!!
lilyhme still obsessed with my bouquet!!
>y/ninstagram i’m so glad!! you’re welcome anytime love!🥰
>username what’s lily doing here👀
flonorrisshowjumping yay happy birthday to the best flower shop ever!!🩷🩷
liked by y/ninstagram
>username lando’s sister….?
username SO CUTE!!!
y/ninstagram added to their story!
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y/ninstagram
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liked by cosmopolitan, landonorris, francisca.cgomes and 96,000 others
just a girl in her happy place, nice to get some time away from the shop for a few days🥰
see 15,000 comments
username gorgeous gorgeous girl!!!
username that flower crown?!
>y/ninstagram right?! only took me 2 hours 😅
landonorris any chance you sell flower crowns?
>y/ninstagram potentially for you!
>username LANDO?!
username i see lando in the likes….
francisca.cgomes beautiful 😍
liked by y/ninstagram
landonorris added to their story!
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landonorris
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liked by y/ninstagram, maxfewtrell, mclaren and 889,000 others
nice little break off the track, lots of time to travel, recharge and enjoy the little things, back to work this week! 😁
see 100,000 comments
username lando in his soft launch era????
username LANDO?!
username wait i recognize that flower crown!!!
maxfewtrell yeah lots of rest happened for sure
>landonorris stfu
y/ninstagram i see you finally got the flower crown!
>landonorris i did, 10 star rating for sure 😉
username WHAT IS HAPPENING RN
username wait lando and y/n?! IM UP
y/ninstagram added to their story!
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y/ninstagram
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liked by mclaren, flonorrisshowjumping, landonorris and 100,000 others
am i doing this whole formula 1 thing correct?? thank you for having me mclaren! 🩷
tagged mclaren
see 65,000 comments
username Y/N AT THE GP THIS WEEKEND?! WHAT
username mclaren’s guest or lando’s guest😏
username lando and y/n are def together cmon…
mclaren very happy you could come!! thank you for all the beautiful arrangements!🧡
liked by y/ninstagram
landonorris how was it?
>y/ninstagram it was different, number 4 for mclaren did pretty well
>landonorris yeah he’s decent
lilyhme so great to see you again!!! let’s get drinks this week❤️
>y/ninstagram yes please 🥰
landonorris added to their story!
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y/ninstagram
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liked by landonorris, vogue, danielricciardo and 234,000 others
lando really didn’t understand the whole ‘soft launch thing’ very well, but i will say it makes me happy that i can share our love with the world….you are truly special to me in so many ways lan❤️
tagged landonorris
see 101,000 comments
username YES I KNEW IT
username lando failing is hilarious
username flower girl and f1 boy 🫶🏻
liked by y/ninstagram
flonorrisshowjumping doesn’t surprise me he couldn’t keep it secret 😭
>landonorris oh??? and what’s that supposed to mean!!
landonorris im sorry my angel🥹
landonorris i love you so much though 😁🩷
>y/ninstagram yeah yeah i love you too silly boy🩷
username i will sob in the streets 😃
landonorris
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liked by y/ninstagram, francisca.cgomes, quadrant and 1M others
my flower girl🩷
tagged y/ninstagram
see 454,000 comments
username oh she’s so beautiful
username i can’t tell if i want to be lando or y/n…
>username both😃
username run me over pls
y/ninstagram i love you so much lan
y/ninstagram you’re favourite person in the whole world❤️
>landonorris you’re mine, i love you
maxfewtrell nasty nasty you two are
>y/ninstagram you weren’t saying that when you asked for the most INTRICATE bouquet yesterday 🤔
>maxfewtrell 😶
username y/n humbling max 😭
754 notes · View notes
kosmicsound · 30 days
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things i ALWAYS script:
- i am 6'1
- my skin is always clear
- im buff but not body builder
- im charismatic and can hold a conversation (guys. im so awkward here.)
- i am a musical genius (IM A BAND, CHORUS, AND THEATER KID. TRIPLE HOMICIDE)
- im fluent in at least 3 languages (i just like languages bro)
- i can able to do school work extremely quick and i dont even have to think about it (i hate school)
- my teachers love me and suspect nothing of me (i hate school)
- i always have perfect attendance and grades (i hate school)
- sneaking out is super easy
- cigarettes dont affect me (stfu i like being cool without lung problems)
- people think im hilarious
- im extremely clever
- i know how to shoot a gun (im american /derog)
- a marching band (GUYS IM SORRY IM A BAND KID AND I CANT LIVE WITHOUT FLIPPING MY LITTLE FLAG)
- i never embarrass myself (i already stay up at night bc of my cr ok)
-i never run out of money (guys...)
- i never say or do anything problematic
- a musical career (if im not persuing music here, im persuing music everywhere else)
202 notes · View notes
starsandhughes · 1 year
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Penalty Box— Trevor Zegras (Part Thee)
SERIES MASTERLIST
previous: two
next: four
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2023
PREGAME
yourusername
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liked by trevorzegras, jamie.drysdale, and 3,677 others
yourusername welcome to my pregame penalty box update! Z is currently at zero games since he last sat in sin— let’s see what this afternoon brings! Game is at 10am PST, 12pm CT, and 11am ET! #FlyTogether
tagged trevorzegras, anaheimducks, masonmctavish23
view all 117 comments
user1 every game day i look forward to y/n’s posts
trevorzegras a good luck would have been sufficient
yourusername good luck baby!!
trevorzegras thanks babe😂
anaheimducks you’re giving us a run for our money on social media content!!
yourusername i’m sorry!!! (only a little)
jackhughes “sat in sin”
yourusername i said what i said
jackhughes ur my idol
yourusername i know ;)
user2 bally sports socal needs to give y/n her own pregame and postgame shows
user3 omg and she just gives stats of player’s penalty box streaks
yourusername sorry kids, i only keep track of trevor
trevorzegras @/yourusername stop lying to strangers
_quinnhughes i know you keep track of mine, what am i at?
yourusername two whole games without getting a time out!!! you tend to go longer i just find it hilarious
trevorzegras no fair
yourusername @/trevorzegras do better
trevorzegras @/yourusername if i did better where would you get your content from?
yourusername @/trevorzegras the faces quinn makes during games
_quinnhughes @/yourusername go back to bullying Z
yourusername @_quinnhughes bold of you to assume i can’t multitask
POSTGAME
yourusername
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liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes, and 1,692 others
yourusername trevor zegras: #11 on the ice, #1 in my heart, and 1 whole game without a penalty! 🧡🖤🧡
tagged trevorzegras
view all 103 comments
jackhughes atta boy Z!
trevorzegras 🙄
trevorzegras i might as well embrace this. thank you my #1 girl 😘
yourusername you’re very welcome my love🥰
user1 #1 in goals for the ducks too!
yourusername and points ;)
jamie.drysdale our little boy is growing up
trevorzegras jimmy, i hate to break it to you, but i’m older than you
yourusername @/trevorzegras being our little boy is a state of mind zeGRAS
jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras yeah zeGRAS😂
user2 way to go z!!!
_alexturcotte don’t lie you’re always rooting for a fight
yourusername yeah cuz him throwing hands is sexy
jackhughes @/yourusername you root for a fight in every game no matter who’s playing
yourusername @/jackhughes and you never give me one!!
trevorzegras @/yourusername you cried the last time i was in a fight?
jamie.drysdale that’s true i was there
yourusername stfu i’ll fight you both right now
user3 y/n bantering in the comments>>>
_quinnhughes just one game behind me!
trevorzegras i’ll make it to three out of spite
530 notes · View notes
lesbiandanhowell · 2 months
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Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil Get Married, Have Kids and Retire
Objectively hilarious video honestly.
- You know what I hate them so much actually WHAT THE FUCK ON VALENTINES DAY?!
- I do love all the We're Doomed Talk tho because I was THERE HEHE.
- CLIPS FROM THE SHOW ALREADY?! @danrifics ?!
- Dan you should be pink, come on pink is your color and it would suit you so well! (But also purple is basically the nonbinary option so I will take this win.)
- Phil just fully leaning into Dan when doing the scooter bit, why. Also Phil can fully not stop looking at Dan, rather than the other way around for once. What is up with that, is it the WAD confidence and hotness Dan has because same.
- "Happiness is Penis" WHAT THE FUCK PHIL
- I also love Game of Life by the way, like I was obsessed with this game as a kid but never had anyone to play it with so someone play with me?
- Still not over them uploading this on VALENTINES DAY what has happened to them pretending Valentines Day doesn't exist?! The only thing we used to get on valentines was sometimes live events and suddenly a clickbaity video, times really are changing.
- "I want the they/them" DAN DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW WEIRDLY VALIDATING THAT FELT
- Henry... I literally just watched Phil's spooky hotel video where there was a ghost named Henry.
- I literally had a breakdown over Dan saying he wants to smell bisexual and nonbinary. Like you don't understand what this means to me okay?! I am struggling to keep my focus on anything after this.
- "Give the straights nothing" YES real
- You can tell Dan is tired from doing two shows back to back and they probably filmed this Monday, I like that he still does it for us I feel very appreciated by his effort.
- Phil picking baby over pet, I have thoughts... (The thought being that this is another moment of not talking about what is more real, aka them getting a pet.)
- Phil living a very different life having wife and kids and Dan just being still being a version of him aka a )pop)star, OnlyDan's...
- Dan looked so fond of Phil wearing the glasses and yes they are too small for Dan's face but they are objectively hilarious glasses to own.
- Dan is SO SALTY and Phil is enjoying teasing him so fucking much this is hilarious. Dan being a sore loser is truly the way I relate to him the most because I too can not stand to lose and will become a whiny child.
- Dan's absolutely lack of luck with WAD somehow seems to extend to this game.... I feel slightly bad for him.
- DAN DON'T EVEN THREATEN IT (a hiatus)
- One video, I want one video where they don't talk about piss thank you.
- GREY SWEATPANTS
- "danisnotadad" SOBBING STFU these endscards are something else and also the fact Phil just did the endscreen on his own, Dan was like 'actually, I'm out bye' and just walking out, drama gay.
(If you're new here, hey! I write down my reaction to almost every video they upload because I have a lot of them and like sharing them!)
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babybinko · 9 months
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VENTURE BROS MOVIE SPOILERS:
the movie is like probably as perfect as a send off they could have made within the time limit. I loved it so much.
I am a Rusty hater (I dont actually hate him he's hilarious he just sucks 😭) but Rusty right at the end telling Dean that their mother loves them very much and then the reveal that they didnt have a mom it was Rusty who purposely went out of his way to have kids and become a father alone with a machine made me like him x10 more than I did. Like stfu before I start CRYING. I thought he got a girl pregnant and was like fine ill take care of these kids but the reveal just hit me very deeply. Like he still is kinda a bad father but he really does love them, he really wanted to be a dad.
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Also jail time for making canon Rusty Mpreg TWICE.
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lucidfairies · 4 months
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hi 🫡
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. yes that is me embarrassing the shit outta myself (I actually sent that to a handful of girls)
i. for those of you who may not know, i'm maya. i'm 18, i'm typically a masculine presenting lesbian and I happen to be a she/her. I also am unfortunately asexual
• everyone meat riding rn about why I read and write so much smut as an asexual, I would love for you to know that I'm fighting a losing battle with hypersexuality! that is all I will be sharing on that matter thank you. •
ii. I'm proficient at finding people's instas whether they wanna be found or not!! if this relates to you, you may want to hmu.
iii. um I'm single if that wasn't clear from the kicker.
iv. I have severe Audhd and I have OCD but I don't really count that because you can't really tell it's there. I'm a POTS and scoliosis survivor
(can u tell idk what the hell I'm doing)
v. I will drop my socials if you so want them but I would prefer u DM me cuz I don't need my public insta in tumblr comments tbh (I have insta, tiktok, discord, snap, so on so forth)
vi. I'm still in high school LMAOOO pls I'm not less than eighteen guys don't worry but I aspire to be in the military but I'm taking a gap year
vii. I've been writing since like third grade but over quarantine my parents kinda banished me to our basement and I was doing a lot of things I shouldn't have been doing but now I'm sorta good at writing !!
viii. fics are kinda a side gig, I do write real shit here and there but there's genuinely no point so idk why I do it
ix. I'm what people like to call a whore except I don't fuck around I just talk to like nine people at once (hop off my dick rn)
x. I'm hilariously funny if you ever wanna strike up a conversation
xi. I'm down for ANY conversations. you wanna talk about what kinks some random bitch has based on their appearance? let's talk about it. wanna tell me about the sex you had last night? I'll go get a snack. I don't get triggered by really anything so if u need an outlet, I'm right here bb
xii. I actually have a massive gyatt
xiii. I can curl a lot of lbs and um I can bench some too and I guess do leg stuff (gym girlies rise)
xiv. I'm Jewish but not like Jewish my fam just is, I am probably one of the furthest things from religion and I don't hugely support organized religion (my fav way to describe it is being Jew-ish)
xv. I am a leftist through and through (pro choice, pro science, pro gays, Black lives matter, stop Asian hate, in case you needed clarification on that one) and I avoid knowingly being friends with Republicans at all costs
xvi. I am pro Palestine, nothing anyone will say or do could change my stance on that one.
xvii. I have a cat + dog
xviii. I don't get cold like ever cuz I ski in like 10° weather all winter
xix. I have Duolingo and if u wanna beef it out w a quest then I am definitely down for that because I will beat you (I'm learning Hawaiian and Hebrew)
xx. I'm fluent in German and speak it at home w the fam and I know some Spanish + French
xxi. juice boxes > anything
xxii. some more pics of me will follow whenever I stfu
xxiii. I stand at a whopping six feet tall but I swear I have short person energy
xxiv. if your snap score is more that 300k we can't be friends I'm sorry (mine is 100k suck my c o c k)
xxv. in my personal opinion I have huge dick energy but you're welcome to put me in my place (I'm a switch and I'll cook for you)
xxvi. best position is doggy but I can be persuaded into something different
xxvii. CUNT
xxviii. uhhhh I'm from the East Coast of America so l operate in EST time
anyway y'all here are some for faceless pics that are guaranteed to make u cream (see, hilarious)
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god it's giving faggot 😓
anyway it was nice getting to talk about myself for a long time 🫡 feel free to make numerous comments about my life in the comments
sayonara sistas
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georgies-ftts · 22 days
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Got very tired last night, like actually don't remember what I was doing sort of tired and managed to almost perfectly document the next part of my current merthur fic in a way I actually still understand and I think I'm hilarious so I'm sharing it with you which means there a spoilers (The Lost Raven on ao3)
~~~~~~
Arthur gets back to his chambers, tired n all that, about to go do some law changing probs. Merlin is somehow??? standing upright clinging onto the bedpost or like... the air? about to hit the floor or smth idk
“What the fuck-”
Arthur catches him and Merlin cries out in pain or like just something cause he’s like… half deceased and shouldn't have the capability to stand but you know... plot n all that shit
“Tf do you think yer doing mug”
“What am i doing here, i have things to do, like washing n shit”
“No dumbass get back into bed and heal before i stab you lol jk i love you and you’re awake and not dead thought you were dead but you’re alive and you were upright almost not upright but you were def upright for a hot sec there”
“No bitch I have to wash your bastard socks and you know I have magic and I'm gonna die and you're gonna kill me but also I'm in your bed and not dead so wtf is going on are you ill or cursed or mental or all of the above???”
“Sleep”
“No fuck u”
“Alright”
“What?”
“Huh…no i never, stfu, i didn't said a word, prick.”
“Yuh huh whatever you say.”
“Sleep. And i'll sleep here beside you., cause we're besties and that's what besties do definitely maybe probably” 
“Okay lol”
.........
"Did you run away from me on the battlefield"
"Lol yeah i'm traumatised by the law and fire."
end scene probably after some big words i dont actually understand
There’s deffo some barely acknowledged or non-purposeful hand holding and then they sleep, peaceful and all that and arthur definitely isn't having another crisis
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