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qqueenofhades · 10 months

Note

ok fix-it time hilary you can do this i believe in you

prompt is a classic one--Aziraphale runs after Crowley after the "i forgive you" "don't bother" exchange OR the kiss does magically work like Crowley hoped

no i am not using english grammar and spelling today my feelings are too strong

Aha. Well, I wrote this fic yesterday, but it... might not entirely qualify as fix-it. My bad. To make it up, I offer you this: technically not either of the suggested scenarios, but still something to salve the pain, set at the end of Season 3 or thereabouts.

The late afternoon light is still and weighty: golden, heavy, purposeful, the sort of light that takes up space, that polishes floorboards and sets dust motes drifting, settles on the backs of furniture and the pages of books like a sleeping cat. The sort of light that fills the room almost tangibly, that stripes the bed and spills off it to the floor like too much olive oil poured into an amphora, back in the hot white heat of the Holy Land. Since he is, of course, a being of pure light, Aziraphale can feel it in his sinews, in the core of his soul, but it almost seems... wrong. Not the light itself, but that he's still allowed to touch it. He doesn't know if he's Fallen or not, or if such trite distinctions even matter. He only knows this. Them. Now.

Aware that it is incumbent upon him to start the conversation, he clears his throat and looks at Crowley, sprawled out on the bed with a fair show of his old insouciance, but Aziraphale can sense the fragility behind the flippant smile. Crowley's black-clad legs are jauntily crossed, his shoes kicked off, his hair a particularly vibrant red against the little-used, age-yellowed lace of the pillow cover; this bed, after all, doesn't get much use in the traditional sense. Aziraphale's preferred human vice is food, not sleep, though he knows Crowley is very good at it and might have to teach him a thing or two about that, about rest. He craves it, but he doesn't know where to begin. That seems applicable to any number of things right now, but he has to start somewhere, he supposes. He just doesn't know.

"Er," Aziraphale says at last, to Crowley's increasingly-strained expectant expression. "My dear, I... I am..."

He bites his tongue. He's rarely been in this position before, knowing that he's the one who needs desperately to ask for forgiveness -- real forgiveness -- and not at all certain that it will actually be granted. It's always seemed so slick, so easy, something to toss off as easily and unthinkingly as the humans say bless you when someone sneezes, and carrying about the same spiritual or emotional depth. Aziraphale feels mortifyingly ashamed of it, of himself. He shuffles his feet, twisting the hem of his waistcoat between his fingers. At last, to the carpet, he says, "I'm so very, very sorry. I've been an absolutely dreadful ninny, and I don't... I don't know if you can forgive me, but..."

"Angel." Crowley's voice is rough. "Bloody look at me, would you?"

Half-fearing to be dissolved by infernal hellfire on the spot, but knowing that he deserves it, Aziraphale looks up.

It's hard to read Crowley's expression, even more than usual. The glasses are off, but his slitted amber eyes are opaque, careful, wary, not quite sure what this is or what's going to come of it. The dead-silent moments that follow, as he weighs up his options, are among the very worst of Aziraphale's entire unending life. Then Crowley fractionally shifts his weight, opening up a spot on the bed next to him, a silent invitation. He doesn't say anything. Using their words tends to backfire tremendously, even if they need to get used to it. He just looks. He just waits.

After all this time, after everything, Aziraphale finally doesn't hesitate. In fact, he almost trips over himself as he blunders across the floor, falls onto the squeaking old mattress, and clambers into Crowley's arms. Crowley wraps them both around him with fierce, ferocious, furious strength, pulling Aziraphale down next to him, Aziraphale's softer, rounder corporal form fitting neatly into the hard lines and lean angles of Crowley's. Aziraphale rests his head on the bare triangle of throat where Crowley's shirt is unbuttoned, burrows his face into the sharp cleanness of Crowley's collarbone, and becomes belatedly, embarrassingly aware that he's crying. It seems beneath the dignity of a (possibly-ex?) Principality, but he doesn't think he can stop. He just wants to lie here and clutch onto Crowley for literally dear life, to mourn for all the time they've missed, for the simple, unbearable, shocking, agonizing, perfectly exquisite pleasure of holding his love close. "I'm so sorry," he says again, struggling not to let his voice crack too extravagantly. "Dreadful ninny. Absolutely dreadful."

"You were doing what you thought was right. What you needed to do to stop the Apocalypse, just... differently." Crowley's voice turns distant, his fingers absently stroking Aziraphale's hair. It feels strange and shocking and quite, quite lovely. "Can't really tell you off for that, can I? After all, I'm a demon. What do I know about doing good?"

"Hush," Aziraphale says, primly and a little watery. "Now you know that's not true."

Crowley lifts his head and regards Aziraphale for a long moment. He doesn't answer, just thinks about it. "All right," he allows, at deliberate length. "Maybe a little. I'm still very mad at you, though."

"I do understand." Aziraphale nestles again, and Crowley doesn't stop him. "But perhaps, even if I have no real right to ask it, you can... you might... one day think about... f-forgiving me?"

His voice trembles and squeaks. It takes all the courage in him, even more than when he stood up to the full hosts of Heaven and told them no, no more, not ever again, but he looks Crowley in the eye. He tries not to look too expectant, or too arrogant. He waits.

Crowley, for his part, looks mildly flabbergasted. He makes one of those incoherent nnngh noises that he resorts to whenever he finds himself at a loss for words, and shakes his head. "Idiot," he says, very softly. "Of course I bloody forgive you. Of course. Now if you -- "

He doesn't get to finish his sentence. That's because Aziraphale likewise screws up every drop of courage, takes hold of Crowley's collar, and lowers his head, terrified that he's about to muck it up. But Crowley just looks at him like he's luminous, like the light is still in him and he is the light itself, and tips his head just that bit, in order to settle their lips together.

The kiss is long and slow, soft and sweet. Crowley's hand flutters up to rest in the wild white tufts of Aziraphale's hair, and Aziraphale -- somewhat in terrified awe at his own daring -- nibbles experimentally on Crowley's lip. He's quite bad at it, but neither of them care, or can think about anything else, or do anything but heave short sharp breaths, half-laughs, muffled sobs. When they finally pull apart, Aziraphale says anxiously, "I hope it wasn't very awful?"

"Oh." Crowley's eyes are half-lidded, and in the sunlight, he too looks as if he is burning like a beacon, brighter than his favorite stars. The affection in his voice is greater than the wings of heaven or the reaches of hell, the heights of the sky or the depths of the sea, and his smile outshines them all. "Absolutely terrible."

#daisyyydaisyyydaisyyy #ask #good omens #good omens s2 #good omens spoilers #ish #ineffable husbands #good omens ff

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atewritesstuff · 2 years

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angel - j.p

pairing: james potter x fem!reader

warning: mention of manipulativeness??? nothing much.

english is not my first language so please bare with my wrong spellings and wrong grammar. AND IM SO SORRY FOR GHOSTING YOU GUYS LIKE FOR MONTHS I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH SCHOOL UNIVERSITY SUCKS TBH!!

a/n: james potter. that's it. reblog if you agree.

being the only daughter of walburga black and orion black requires a lot of effort and valor, especially when one of your brothers chooses to leave the house and dump all his responsibilities to you. you're not the type to go against you family beliefs, not that you agree on it, but you would acquire all the burden rather than regulus.

you don't want to experience what your older brother went through, so, you did your best to please walburga in every possible way, but honestly, you're just afraid. afraid of what she might do, not to you, but to regulus.

afraid that your mother might perform the unforgivable curse to regulus as she did on sirius every other summer night. afraid that your mother needs to fire spells to both of you just to obey her rules and reach her standards.

so, you did what you think is the best, obey her. obey her like you're under an imperius curse, like a puppet controlled by the strings she holds. and now everyone thinks you're the standard of every pureblood daughter.

that title alone sets to much pressure on your shoulder. every move you make made you conscious, and you find yourself stressing over the simplest thing just to try and make them perfect, like how your mother would prefer, from your grades to your looks and how you act.

maybe you really are afraid. the oh-so-perfect pureblood y/n black is frightened. shivering and whimpering by the fact she's just her mother's little puppet. you mimic her every move, decisions and now slowly you're drowning in her beliefs.

but then james came. he came like an angel sent from above. ready to dive into darkness that's been engulfing you since you were a kid and pull you back where you can see the light.

he came into your life with his big stupid goofy smile plastered on his face, the smile that made your walls crumble, and in just one glance you're ready to break all the rules your mother set to see that smile again. he smiled, and suddenly you became aware of how beautiful the world is.

he came into your life and cut all the strings that kept your whole body from moving. the strings that kept you gasping for air, the strings that kept you blinded from everything, the strings your mother controlled. he came, and suddenly you can breathe again.

"penny for your thoughts, love?" you scrunched up your nose when his hot breath came crashing to your face.

"s'nothing, just thinking how lucky i am to have you here in my arms and acting like a big baby." a chuckled escapes your lips when his mouth automatically pulls into a pout.

"i'm the one who's lucky to have you." he moves forward to attack your face with butterfly kisses resulting a pit of giggles erupting from the both of you. he falls back in your chest with a content sigh before tightening his grip on your waist.

he's indeed an angel, and no one can tell you otherwise. james is an angel, your angel.

#james potter blurb #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #james potter #james potter x reader #james potter one shot #james potter imagine #james potter fanfiction #james potter fluff #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #sirius black #regulus black #the marauders era #ate.writes

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lovemalecforever · 3 years

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Chapter 4

Confrontations and Truths

It was almost 5:30, the dusk was setting in as Alec walked out of his office, mumbling something under his breath. He looked around to find a taxi which he got after 5 minutes, then got in and left for Catarina's house.

*At Catarina's apartment*

Catarina was pacing in her living room, glancing at the clock again and again. Her worries were deepening with each passing second when her doorbell rang. Sighing, she waved her hands and opened the door.

Alec walked inside and gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, Cat! I'm.... 15 minutes late." He said while hugging her gently.

"That's not what I'm concerned about Alec, you asked me to meet you urgently and not tell Magnus about our meeting at all, what's going on!?"

He was about to answer when a soft voice echoed the whole house.

"Aallleeecccc!"

Madzie came running down the hall and hugged Alec's leg who was around Alec's waist height now. She was growing faster and learned a lot in all these years. Catarina had officially adopted her, and they formed a really great bond over the course of years.

A wide smile appeared on Alec's face as he bent down to her height and gave her a tight hug. "Hey, sweet pea!"

"Magnus didn't come?" She asked in a sad voice.

"No, sweet pea, I had some important work with your mom, that's why I came. We'll surely come soon to meet you, okay?"

"Okay!" she said enthusiastically, her sadness completely gone.

"Hey Mads! Go to your room sweetheart, we have some important work to discuss." Catarina said to her softly but a slight tone of worry was visible in her voice.

"Okay mommy, bye Alecc!"

"Bye, sweet pea!"

After she left, Catarina sighed, crossed her arms above her chest, and glared at Alec. "Alec! Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Cat! Calm down, can we please sit and talk?"

Catarina sighed yet again. They walked towards her mini balcony where there was a coffee table with two wooden chairs placed around it. She waved her hands and summoned a hot coffee for herself and hot chocolate with marshmallows for Alec.

"Thank you!" Alec said as he sat down on the chair.

Catarina was still looking at him firmly.

"So, to answer your question, Magnus is not fine."

"What!? Alec! What happened to him, has his powers-"

"Cat! Cat! Calm down! There's nothing wrong with him. He's completely fine, he's just not fine emotionally."

"Emotionally!?"

"Look, Cat, it's our anniversary in 6 days, I want to do something for him for which I'll be needing the help of a warlock, and I obviously can't take Magnus' help, so that's why I wanted to meet you."

Catarina let out a breath of relief, which she didn't know was holding. "Alec, I'm still confused, how is Magnus' mental health and your surprise plan related?"

Alec took a deep breath and composed himself before speaking. "You're aware of the biggest attack that happened in Alicante about a month ago, which almost resulted in war?"

"Yes, Alec, I obviously am, that's the reason I'm in Alicante. They needed the powerful warlocks from around the globe to fix the broken wards, you know it really well those are no ordinary wards. But, what about it?" a frown appeared on her forehead, not understanding where this was headed.

"Well, in that attack, I was in the field and Magnus was also called. It was not a small attack so they called everyone that can fight that battle. We both were on the field fighting side by side, but..." Alec cleared his throat, his eyes starting to flood with tears with those memories.

"Alec?" Catarina asked softly.

Alec closed his eyes and a teardrop fell on his cheek. "I... I almost died in that battle."

"What!?" Catarina's eyes went wide. "Oh my god! Alec... why nobody told me about this!? Why am I hearing about it now?"

"You were at the Spiral Labyrinth, Cat. We wouldn't be able to contact you even if we wanted. And, you know Magnus, he hates talking about things like these."

Catarina sighed and gave a slow nod.

"Anyways, I was in a coma for 10 days. My recovery was really slow, but I recovered. I knew Magnus was by my side the whole time, I was able to hear him, hear everything happening beside me, I heard him crying, begging me to wake up, to not leave him this soon, that... he won't be able to live without me, he cried on my arms, didn't sleep for a day!" He paused as tears kept running down his face.

Catarina gently squeezed his arms.

"When I recovered and went back home, he didn't allow me to go back to work for days. I had to convince him, remind him that I'm an inquisitor, I don't have that much fieldwork now, but... he never was able to get over it." He took a deep breath and continued.

"He told me he was fine, but I know he's not Cat! He still cries at night, thinking I'm asleep and not hearing him. whenever I've come home early, I've heard him crying, saying things like... like I'll die someday in a battle or I'll grow old one day and die and leave him forever. But I've always ignored it, knowing that I won't be able to comfort him no matter how hard I try to. And also, because he thinks he's hiding from me. If I confront him, he'll become defensive and more secretive, he'll push me away."

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Catarina reached out and gave his shoulder a light squeeze. When he opened his eyes, tears were shining brightly in them.

"I... I can't see him like that, Cat! He had a past full of pain, he had been in and out of relationships, had bad ones like Camille. You know all about it better than me, I know he's scared that I'll grow old one day and die. My mortality is scaring him, I love him and I'm worried about him."

"Oh my! Alec... I can't believe Magnus didn't say a word to me. But how can I help you with this?"

"I... Is... I... I... Is...."

"Alec!?" Catarina frowned, her mind going only in one direction with Alec's confrontation.

"I want to become immortal!" He announced.

At first, Catarina's eyes went wide, but then a light smile appeared on her face. "Look, Alec, I'm happy to see the love you have for Magnus, but becoming immortal-"

"It's not just for Magnus, Cat! I'm doing it for myself as well. I want to be with Magnus forever. I can't think of being apart from him even for a day, and, about watching my whole family dying in front of my eyes, with Magnus being by my side, I know I'll handle it!"

Catarina was so awestruck by his determination. 'Magnus is really lucky to have Alec, I'm so happy for you Magnus Bane!' she thought. "But there's one more problem, Alec, you have pure angel blood running in your veins, if you want to become immortal-"

"You think I came without homework, Cat!?" He took out a piece of paper from his pants pocket and kept it on the table. She took it and carefully opened it but then her eyes went wide.

"Wha... Alec, from where did you get this?"

"I was looking through the history of Shadowhunters and Immortals when I got this. The only thing I got to know this far is that," he pointed at the sketch on paper, "his name was Kasper Windermere, the first Shadowhunter to become immortal, half angel and half Shadowhunter, he became half-angel through a spell, but I'm not able to find the rest of it."

Catarina's eyes were wide. Noticing that, Alec took her hand in his catching her attention.

"Look, Cat, I want to become immortal, but Shadowhunting is my life, my career, it's what I've taught since childhood, I can't just give up on it. And I know I'll regret if I become immortal by using demon blood, you all know me. So that's the only option I have. Please, help me Cat!"

She couldn't help but give a wide smile at Alec.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You know, Magnus has been my best friend for centuries, I've seen him falling in and out of love, being with people, caring for them, and getting heartbroken but I've never seen anyone caring for Magnus the way you do. Magnus is really lucky to have you in his life. I'm really happy for both of you."

Alec's cheeks flushed red at this. "Thank you, Cat!"

"But for what you want, we need to search in every place possible. We can start with Book of White; Magnus gave it to me to keep it safe, I'll bring it."

"Okay, let's do it."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

* A Few hours later*

"There's only a small part of the spell mentioned in it, Alec." Catarina rubbed her temples as she turned the book towards Alec. They searched for hours but were only able to find a few details.

"Hmm... but that means it's possible right? We just need to find the rest of it." He was really happy with their findings.

"Alec, are you really sure? There's little mention of it, and... it's written there that it has consequences, that's why it's removed."

"What consequences?" He frowned.

"This spell is irreversible, so you can never turn back to mortal ever again and the only means that can kill you is.... is your own will, as an angel you'll only die when you desire to be."

"How is the other one a consequence?" He asked, confused.

"Alec, no one desires to die, and there's no mention whether Kasper Windermere is alive or dead."

"I don't see any problem with any of the above!"

Catarina sighed. "You are so determined, aren't you?"

"Cat, I can't see Magnus like this anymore. With our anniversary coming, I want to surprise him in the best way possible. I want our anniversary to be about him, his happiness, and I know he'll be happy, so yes, I'm determined to do anything which will make him happy. I'll look for more information tomorrow at Gard's library."

Catarina grinned then out of nowhere, giving him a tight hug. "Magnus Bane is a hell of a lucky man!"

Alec pulled out of the hug but then his eyes fell on his watch, it was 10:30. "Shit! Oh, no! Shit! Shit!"

"Alec, what happened?"

"We planned a dinner at 7 today and it's 10:30, Magnus is going to kill me, I need to run!" He said in a hurried tone.

Catarina laughed and shook her head. "Go, get your husband Alec!"

"Bye, Cat!" With that, Alec rushed out of Catarina's house.

__________________________

Magnus was pacing in their living room, eyeing the cold food kept at the kitchen counter and at the clock alternatively. It was almost 10:45. His eyes were filled with the pool of tears that were ready to shed at any moment.

'Where are you, Alexander? You promised you'd make it for dinner.' He sighed and started pacing again when a sudden thought struck him. 'Is... Is he all right? Did something happen to him? Did he go for the hunt? No, No! But he should be home by now then!'

He was about to change into his regular clothes to go out in search of him when he heard the jingle of keys and the door opened making him let out a breath of relief.

Alec walked in and noticed that Magnus was standing in the center of the living room with worry-filled eyes. 'Shit! I'm screwed' he thought then cleared his throat before speaking.

"I'm sorry, Magnus, I... Umm... I...." He kept shuffling in his place, unable to meet the eyes with his husband's.

"Where were you, Alexander?" Magnus almost choked on his words.

Alec noticed this, 'he was crying again, shit! I'm sorry Mags. Just a few more days and you never have to worry about it ever again' he thought.

"I... I was actually with Izzy; she was at the meeting too... I met her after a long time, so after we were both done with our work and meetings we decided to meet for a coffee. We met and started chatting and didn't realize the time. I'm sorry Mags! I should've texted you, I forgot, I'm really sorry." He said half truthfully, Izzy was at the meeting, but she was in a hurry so they only talked for 5 minutes, then she left but she's still in Alicante.

He then took out the flower bouquet he was hiding the whole time, with a sorry card placed on top of it. "I hope this will make up for it, I'm so sorry Magnus!"

Magnus was completely on the verge of crying right now, he was trying to hold his tears back, as he kept glancing between the bouquet and his husband. 'I missed my chance again, how am I supposed to say anything when you keep doing things like this' he thought, unable to keep his tears back he started crying.

"Magnus!?" Alec kept the bouquet on the couch then hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry Magnus, I'm sorry!" 'I know why you're crying Magnus, please don't be scared love, just a few more days!'

Magnus cried on Alec's shoulders, holding his jacket in his fists tightly. 'how am I supposed to tell you, Alexander, how am I supposed to tell you that... that I want to end our marriage, that I want to end us. I can't take it anymore, thinking that you'll be gone forever someday, and I, I'll have to live with those memories. I can't create more memories with you, Alexander. What happened a month ago had hurt me in ways you can't imagine. I can't do this anymore, the more I'll be with you, the more it'll hurt me when you'll be gone. I won't be able to bear that pain, I have to end us, I need to end us, but how am I even going to say it, when you keep showering me with your love' he cried harder on his shoulders.

#happily married #malec forever #malec fic #magnus bane #malec #asaab #angst with a happy ending #angst #fanfic authors #alec lightwood #fanfiction #fanfic #lightwood bane family #fantasy #wattpad writer #wattpad

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inviouswriting · 4 years

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From my primal au. A little before the save. Re writing the interactions.

Some smut in here and written mobile will cut later today.

Pairings. Aymeric x Kiya and Divinity x Estinien.

"Kivera. I have been asked to do something. I don't want to do." Divinity speaks knowing the angel can hear her. She feels her presence around her as much as Midgarsormr.

Kivera knows the look too well. She takes her seat next to her love and tugs her in.

"I am aware, her name is on my list." Kivera knows and Divinity looks at her. She knows there isn't much that can sway her once a name has reached it.

"You should have seen him. He was beside himself when he asked me to do it. Like the world is ending for him." Divinity feels a little powerless in her abilities and looks at her guardian for an answer and sees a gentleness in her normally hard features.

"Divinity, you of all people know a soul isn't lost until they have died. If she is still in there... perhaps I can scribble her name off this once." Kivera touches one of the curls that hangs from Divinity's head and toys with the end of it.

Divinity leans into her touch finding comfort. She had missed seeing her face in all the years she spent in the world and before being blind.

"What would you have me do?"

"Treat her the way you did me. With kindness. They're not doomed. Not yet at least. If anyone can pull a soul from the void. It is a healer from beyond a void." Kivera explains and waits for her to understand. A smile on her face.

"Should I tell Aymeric, that there is a chance to save his wife?"

"No, because the off chance it fails. It would drive him more into despair. Now, under my protection. Go and see this soul." Kivera places a kiss on the orange stars that decorate Divinity's face.

It took a few days to reach Dusk Vigil and outside was a group of temple knights, including Aymeric.

Aymeric regards Divinity with a nod, and waits for her to prepare herself. He clasps hisbhands together in a silent prayer to Halone to grant his beloved, Kiya, rest from her imprisonment within the primal.

Divinity gives him a smile and he is unsure why she is smiling. Perhaps it is a warrior of light thing.

"Have faith, Ser Aymeric." Another knight says, and Aymeric sighs as he sees the door close behind the group going in.

"How can I have faith when I sent people in there to slay her. I just pray some miracle brings her back to me. Or at least gives her a swift death." Kivera sees this exchange and something stirs in her. The look on Aymeric's face mirrors her own heartache when she lost Damien.

"You owe me Divinity." Kivera slips into the void.

Inside the heart of Dusk Vigil, Divinity is met with the being Mormo. The Thaumaturges guild thought her destroyed along time back when Kiya was warrior of light.

When Divinity looks at her she sees grief, heartache, and pain in the succubus form. Very thin but the scythe she carried she watches it knowing the reach because of Kivera's preferred weapon of choice.

The fight was hard, and there is as moment when the Paladin with then struck a blow. Divinity without thinking sends a spell of cure to Kiya. Enough light to stir something in the being. She falters and for a moment sees the form change.

"Aymeric! I am sorry!" Quiet sobs are made as she waits for the inevitable.

The knight was about to deliver a death blow.

"Stop! Don't kill her! Let me try something!" Divinity dashes in front of the paladin who scoffs at her for being stupid. But sheathe her sword and backs off.

"If you fail she dies."

"I am aware of that."

Divinity approaches Kiya and kneels next to her.

"Kiya?" She sees her head turn to her.

"He sent you here didn't he? To kill me.. it is like him. Thinking of me in the very end." Kiya says with a sad smile.

"He misses you. I can tell. His eyes give away his feelings. He is hopeful." Divinity tries. The other warriors around keeping their guards up.

"But I have summoned a primal.." Kiya curls in herself feeling the power inside starting to flare up. Divinity places her hands on her shoulders and casts another spell of cure and forms a dome around them.

"You we're trying to do the right thing. You just were misled and guided wrong. And this thing took over you in a moment of weakness. You didn't summon it. She did. And she needs to leave!" A surge of holy is sent through Kiya to expel Mormo out. The knight with them seizes the chance to slay Mormo.

Once the magic dissipates Kiya's magic in her clothing fades leaving her bare. The miqo'te collapses into Divinity's arms and starts to cry into her chest sobbing Aymeric's name and asking him to forgive her until she passes out.

One of the temple knights sees her and offers to carry her.

"I think it best I take her to Aymeric." Divinity takes off her robe and covers Kiya in it before lifting her up to carry her on her back. The paladin shakes her head.

"Softie." And takes her leave.

Divinity approaches the entrance to the dungeon and sees Aymeric's face lit with worry and grief again. He sees Kiya clung to her back fists tight on Divinity's shoulders.

Green eyes peek over the shoulder and sees Aymeric then looks away to the side. She misses the light returning to Aymeric's eyes and joy spreading through him.

"Kiya?! Pray tell me.. My Kiya?" He approaches the side, Kiya looks away flustered and buries her face into the back of Divinity's head.

"Come now, you have something to tell him? You were crying it." Divinity sets her down and Aymeric takes Koya by her shoulders and has her look into his eyes, his hands on both sides of her face so she can't look away.

"Aymeric... I... I am so sorry!!!! Please forgive me!!!" Aymeric's features soften and Divinity witnesses something she hasn't seen in a long time. Pure love. She smiles then laughs when Aymeric tugs on Kiya's face pinching her cheeks.

"My love.... MY love! I will not forgive you for what you did." He sees Kiya's face falter a little and her trying to look away. He holds her still.

"Look at me. Hey, look at me." Aymeric presses his head to hers, Kiya is hopeful in her eyes.

"You can spend the rest of our lifetime together making it up to me." Aymeric says. Kiya smiles warm and Aymeric wraps his arms around her and pins her to the floor to kiss her ignoring her yelps of the cold under her.

Kiya returns the kiss, her arms wrapping around Aymeric's neck enjoying the kiss, she missed his feel and warmth.

Divinity glances over to a mirror and sees a flit from it, she smiles to herself and shakes her head.

Aymeric lifts his wife into his arms and carries her to Ishgard. Once safely seated and looked at by Whitecape. He turns a stern expression on her and pinches her face again.

"Do you have any idea how much you put me through?! What I set after you?" He squeezes her face in small tugs and ignores the sputters and protests from her.

"I'm sorry!!!"

"You better be! I am not letting you go so easy now. Three years. Hear me? Three years. No magic and no traveling. Till you are strong as you were." He pinches the end of her face again and then kisses her again. Soft and sweet.

"Understood?!?"

"Yes Aymeric!"

"Yes Lord Commander Ser Aymeric!" He corrects her.

"Yes! Lord Commander Ser Aymeric!!" She says again. Once she agrees he holds out his hand to her.

"Soul crystals." Aymeric says and Kiya hands them over to him. She runs her face and sees him tuck them carefully away in a pocket.

His expression is alot softer now and he climbs into the bed with her due to it being night. He was wearing his alpine coat and removed his boots before laying next to her.

Kiya was about to say something but is cut off with sweet kisses and him putting his ear to her chest to her her heartbeat. She then feels warmth from tears.

"Godsdamn you... I thought I was going to have to plan your funeral. I thought you were eternally lost to me." His grip on her tightens and she feels pangs of guilt in her soul. Her hands go into his hair soothing. Aymeric looks up at her from his spot and let's her comb through his hair till she touches his ears in apology.

"My dearest Aymeric. I never intended this to happen..." Kiya sees him shift up and further wraps his arms around her guiding her onto her back to lay with him. Holding her he realizes how thin she is now. He was told it would take her a few months to recover the weight loss from being without food for a few years.

It would take her years to recover her fighting strength. Kiya fits into his arms, and he has her on his side facing him

His hands going through her hair as if he can't believe she is there again.

"I know you didn't intend it. I want you to tell me everything at a future time. When you have rested some. Now sleep in my arms please." He coaxes her down and wraps her in his arms.

Kiya falls asleep soon after she listens to his slightly raised heartbeat. Kisses left on her head.

In her dreams she is visited by something. Kiya sees something shown to her, the last two years of her beloved. How Aymeric was told about her becoming a primal the look in his eyes as he decides to barricade off Dusk Vigil and hold it till a new warrior of light steps forward. How he spent his nights alone, chasing off propositions from others. The years hard in his grief, burying himself in work itself. It felt like watching someone lose their faith in life. When Aymeric met Divinity she hears the heartbreak in his voice when he asks her to take care of Kiya, to hopefully not make her suffer.

When Kiya awakens with a start she has tears streaming down her face, her startle rouses Aymeric who felt her peer into the past from the echo. He doesnt say anything only pulls his beloved back into his arms and underneath him to kiss her.

Divinity smiles from the doorframe and takes her leave. She bumps into another, Estinien. She pulls him with her, to give the pair privacy.

Divinity drags Estinien with her till they are outside the forgotten knight. She only gives him a quiet look, and he follows her knowing for what.

Estinien is led to her room and within it the first time he can take her. Tangled with her arms and legs. Drawing any sound and breath out of her. The feel of her on him.

They're not the only pair that night to experience highs. Kiya feels a different gentleness in Aymeric that night close to the first time he took her. He was cautioned on loving her to be gentle and only when she desires it. He found her wanting him and he missed her in his arms underneath him. His name breathed out in quick pants. Hers on his lips as he feels her for the first time in years.

Aymeric holds one of Kiya's hands by her head as he thrusts into her. Each movement in his hand tightens till she writhes in pleasure from him.

Kiya feels more loved when Aymeric let's go of her hands to wrap his arms around her and pull her into each movement he makes till he spills in her.

With Divinity she feels things she has never felt before in hands teasing her and her own hand held across her back with one of Estinien's.

His other hand ghosts down the middle of her spine tracing it. Feeling a sense of his own wonder at how he got there. Divinity peaks first in a hiss of pleasure and he follows her afterwards.

They lay next to each other wordless, Divinity with a calm expression to her bright eyes. Estinien wants to prod questions out of her but takes the silence instead.

With Kiya, she feels worn out and her mind numb to all else. She feels blissful, and Aymeric watches her face for anymore turmoil to her. His left hand stroking Kiya's face in soft circles on her cheek till she is lured to sleep again.

Aymeric places one more kiss on her face.

"I swear I will protect you better now."

#aymeric #aymeric de borel #ser aymeric #kiya shinikami #invi's ffxiv writing #aymeric x kiya #ffxiv aymeric #estinien #estinien wyrmblood #ffxiv estinien #Divinity libra #Divinity x Estinien

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ladylilithprime · 5 years

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Sastiel Creations Challenge | @ladylilithprime

↳ Theme: One More | Prompt: Day

Fluff Bingo Square: Movie Night

=I Did Not Live Until Today=

Read on AO3

MOVIE NIGHT IN the Bunker had been originally instituted by Dean, and the insistence of Sam that everyone in the Bunker, especially a stressed out and overworked teenaged Prophet of the Lord, needed to take regular breaks to relax and unwind before the constant "go, go, go" made them all go crazy. Hunts would occasionally interrupt the ritual, postpone it for a couple of days, but none of them were allowed more than ten days without a mandatory Movie Night. Dean had insisted that Castiel join these movie nights whenever he was around, intent on "educating" the Angel in what he termed the "classics" of cinema. Castiel had confided privately to Sam that, upon viewing these so-called classics, he was gaining more of an understanding of Dean than he was of why the movies were classical, which Sam had assured him was normal.

Movie Night had been weird after the Trials, because Sam would start out watching the movie with Dean and whoever else was there, but suddenly it would be hours later and he wouldn't remember actually watching any of it despite not having moved. In the wake of Crowley showing up in Sam's head with the brothers' code word tripping off his tongue to warn him that he had an angelic passenger who had taken over the driver's seat, Sam figured he knew what had happened and maybe he felt a little tiny flicker of gratitude for Gadreel sparing him having to watch the monkey movies again, but that was drowned out by the overall feelings of shock and betrayal and rage because how could Dean do this to him?!

It was Sam's decision to continue Movie Night even though it was just him and Castiel in the Bunker now. The original purpose of enforcing a break on overworked humans was still valid, even though now the overworked human was only Sam, and the secondary purpose of introducing Castiel to human entertainment was also still in effect, perhaps even more so after Metatron had downloaded a huge selection of American pop culture into Castiel's head without much in the way of context. Without Dean to steer the selection towards action films and neither of them particularly interested in watching mindless violence and gore, plus Sam's increased aversion to psychological horror films, the movies they watched tended to veer more towards musicals. If Castiel suspected that this, too, might be a bit of Sam's rebellion against Dean's stubborn adherence to mullet rock as the only valid music to listen to, well, he didn't call Sam on it and Sam didn't choose to admit anything.

Tonight was another designated Movie Night, not because it had been too long since the last, but because Sam knew that after the failure of the tracking spell with Gadreel's extracted Grace he, at least, needed something where the fate of the world was less dependant on the outcome. In hindsight, queueing up Les Miserábles was probably not the best idea given the overall setting of the movie and the themes of melancholy and grief that pervaded it, but he suspected Castiel would appreciate the other themes of faith and sacrifice and second chances.

He probably should have expected Castiel's analysis of the story's themes to extend to their lives, but somehow it didn't even occur to him until Castiel blindsided him with an abrupt declaration that Jean Valjean reminded him of Sam.

"I'm sorry?" Sam blurted, not sure he had heard the Angel correctly.

"He is a good man who committed criminal acts for a good cause and was harshly punished for it even after his incarceration ended," Castiel explained, gesturing to the screen where Valjean's pay was docked in front of the other workers, who were openly hostile. "It does not matter to these people that his intentions were noble - to feed his family - or that the crime was relatively minor, all they see is the criminal record and discount the good heart of the man who committed it and is stained by that record in the eyes of the society he serves."

"Cas, that's not... I started the Apocalypse!" Sam said, shaking his head. "That's a good bit worse than stealing a loaf of bread and running."

"You killed a demon," Castiel disagreed. "A demon you had been told by everyone around you was responsible for breaking Seals and that killing her would stop things. You were deliberately not told that she was the final Seal and that killing her would release Lucifer because enough angels, myself included, believed that if you knew the truth then you would not have killed her. Yet you do not blame me for lying to you, or for changing my mind and breaking through my conditioning too late to send Dean in time to stop you. Nor do you blame Dean for breaking under Alistair and being the one to break the first Seal which set things in motion. Instead, you continue to allow people, including Dean who should really know better, to cast the blame for things beyond your control onto your shoulders and even take on blame and responsibility where there should be none, forgetting that any penance required for playing a part long ago set out for you has been more than served."

Sam looked away from Castiel's placid, deeply knowing expression, but found he couldn't focus on the screen until a flash of silver catching light drew his attention. "Look, I don't... whatever redemption I might have earned with jumping has to be cancelled out by the things I did after getting out again, especially all the crap I pulled without my soul--"

"Do you think yourself responsible for your soulless self's actions, even though your soul was still in the Cage being subjected to Michael and Lucifer's torments?" Sam frowned a little at the low notes of guilt and sorrow in the Angel's voice and looked over, but Castiel wouldn't meet his eyes, staring instead at the screen as the old priest backed up Valjean's lie of gifted silver and gave over the candlesticks as well. "Hm. Heaven has not treated you nearly so kindly as this priest does..."

"Castiel," Sam started to reach out, but found his courage falter and lowered his hand with a sigh. "I know you didn't leave my soul behind on purpose. I knew it then, too, even with you keeping secrets and never having mentioned it before that moment... sorry, too, about the holy fire."

"There is no apology necessary," Castiel refuted, though Sam thought he looked moderately grateful for it anyway. "You were right to be suspicious of my actions and motives at the time, if not for that specific reason."

"Still..."

"Sam, I assure you, I hold no ill will over your suspicion of me, nor for your actions to try and stop me. If anything, I am deeply grateful for your continued faith in me even after I had gone off the reservation and done you considerable harm." Castiel shook his head. "We are getting away from the main subject, which is that you are not responsible for the actions your body committed without your soul present."

"It was still my body," Sam argued. "My... impulses or whatever, stripped of my inhibitions--"

"Not true," Castiel interrupted. "Stripped of your higher empathic functions and natural moral compass that is your soul, your body behaved with logical precision not unlike how most Angels would act. While that behavior likely seemed heartless or 'dickish' at times, this was in part because of the contrast to your usual compassion and kindness, but you weren't actively malicious or uncontrolled. Everything, including the decision to go to Dean with the suspicion that something was wrong and to ask him to be your moral compass, was meticulously and logically thought out and reasoned for the most optimal outcome. Recall that your soulless self felt that it was for the best that your soul be retrieved and rejoined with your body, and only rejected the plan when the possibility that doing so would kill you was presented."

"Whereupon I promptly tried to kill Bobby! Cas--"

"Sam," Castiel turned fully to face him and glared at him in a way that reminded Sam forcefully of the fact that this was an Angel of the Lord. "You. Are. Not. To. Blame. Your soulless self attempted to kill a man who showed every sign of being ready to kill you by forcefully reuniting your damaged soul with your body. A soul, I must add, which did not deserve the torment inflicted upon it and to which we owed the continued existence of the human race."

"I was just--"

"Cleaning up your mess, so you've said." Castiel was beginning to look frustrated. "But the Apocalypse was not just your mess. It was Dean's, and mine, and Lucifer's, and Michael's, and every angel and demon and human servant of either side who worked towards setting it off earlier than my Father planned. I would even venture to say that it was my Father's fault for refusing to step in when, despite Raphael's delusions, we had very clear evidence from Joshua that He is still alive and close enough to be aware of the situation." The Angel reached forward then and covered the shell-shocked human's nearest hand with his own. "Your soulless self recognized that, and recognized the unfair imbalance, and quite rightly called us out on our lack of respect for you and your sacrifices. Since regaining your soul, Dean's insistence on leaving past transgressions in the past except when it suits him to drag them out as evidence of culpability and questionable judgement has driven your self-confidence down to the point where you have even allowed Dean to make you believe yourself at fault for not looking for a brother and non-human friend whom you had every reason to believe were dead and at peace.

"No more," Castiel said with a fire in his vessel's blue eyes that had nothing to do with his borrowed Grace. "Sam Winchester, you will listen to me and believe this if nothing else: You. Deserve. Respect. And for my part in allowing others to be negligent in giving you that respect, you have my apologies."

For a long moment, Sam could do nothing more than stare at Castiel, stunned speechless and feeling more than a few echoes of the old awe and wonder with which he had first viewed this Angel of the Lord who had saved his big brother from Hell. It seemed impossible to believe, even with Castiel staring into him and all but demanding that he do so. For all he knew, he had fallen asleep on the couch next to Castiel and all of this was somehow some sort of incredibly vivid dream like the ones he tried to pretend he didn't have about the Angel, because if anything stood a chance at making their current arrangement far more awkward than it ever needed to be....

Castiel must have seen something of his thoughts in his expression, because the intensity faded into sadness and then, before Sam could gather his wits enough to try and reassure him, turned to resolve. "I will remind you of this conversation later, so as to establish better credibility."

"Um..." Sam blinked. That was unexpected. "Okay? Thanks? I'll... work on believing you, Cas, I will, I just...."

"Have several years of conditioning for expecting the worst to work around, as well as the more recent problems with maintained perception of reality," Castiel nodded. "I will remind you as often as is necessary of your worth and worthiness."

Sam nodded, more for the lack of any other way to acknowledge Castiel's words than out of agreement or understanding, jumping a little when the music from the television screen picked up in volume. He turned back to the movie, flushing darkly when he realized that they'd completely missed Fantine's entire arc and Valjean's crisis of conscience, and reached for the remote. "Oh, hey, let me--"

"No, it's--" Castiel's grip on Sam's hand tightened, then released with enough abruptness that Sam found himself stopping anyway, turning questioning eyes on Castiel. "I confess that I have been, ah, 'cheating' with this film, as it is one of the stories that Metatron saw fit to share, though not this particular version."

"Should we put on something else?"

"If that is what you prefer. I am enjoying watching it with you regardless."

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if that was because of Castiel's bizarre comparisons between Sam and Valjean, but he swallowed it back and instead forced himself to settle back into the couch beside Castiel to watch the introduction to the Thénardier family and Cosette. The silence stretched between them as the music played, until--

"Sam? Why is Thénardier's wife making that gesture when she sings that there is 'not much there'?"

Sam swallowed down the urge to choke or laugh, because of course Castiel would ask about that. He cut a sharp glance in the Angel's direction to check if he was being trolled, but Castiel's expression showed only genuine puzzlement. "Uh... Well, I mean, uh... some guys get kinda hung up on penis size, uh, taking the whole 'bigger is better' idea way too seriously and, uh, thinking that bigger size makes them better able to please their partners, which, uh, really isn't true across the board. And, uh, there are a lot of guys who think that having those, um, extra inches is all they need for it to be good for their partner, which also isn't true." He found himself looking at the screen in a gambit to not have to meet Castiel's eyes, and moments later he pointed. "See, she's saying the line again without the gesture. So, uh, the implication is Thénardier falls doubly short of the mark."

"I see," Castiel said, his tone meditative. With his eyes averted, Sam couldn't see the speculative look the Angel sent in his direction, though he definitely heard the pointedly dry tone when Castiel added, "Mrs Thénardier would do better to find a more skilled pizza man."

Sam jerked his head around to stare at Castiel again, but this time the Angel's expression was the same sort of bland that he used when trolling Dean, and so Sam managed to force out a chuckle for the joke before settling in to watch the dynamics between the Thénardiers and Cosette with its very Cinderella vibe. Castiel muttered something about "punching John Winchester again" that made no sense and Sam wasn't sure he wanted to know about anyway, and then made a brief comment about Cosette's dream being similar to many human interpretations of Heaven, but otherwise said nothing until Valjean told Cosette that he was now her father.

"Another parallel," he said. Sam, who had hoped Castiel had forgotten about his weird fixation by this point, blinked in confusion.

"Uh, Cas, I'm pretty sure I haven't gone and adopted any random kids," he pointed out. Really, that seemed more like something Dean would do than him, Dean actually really liked kids and liked the idea of being a dad while Sam... not so much.

"Random, no," Castiel agreed. "You are, however, extraordinarily compassionate. I suspect that, if presented with an orphaned child whose situation required more specialized guardianship than a more normal human fosterage system could provide, you would be an excellent parental figure." He was silent for a moment, pensive and troubled, and then said, softly, "I had never had Nephilim of my own, nor am I likely to do so in the future, but if I did and was unable to care for the child myself, I would ask you."

"Me?" Sam gaped at him. "I mean, why me? Why not Dean?"

"Dean has an unfortunate history of being less than tolerant of supernatural occurrences, of children with powers beyond most human capabilities," Castiel said, shooting an apologetic glance at Sam even before Sam was aware of wincing. "A Nephil would inevitably have powers, and I am a Seraph. Only an Archangel could overpower and suppress the Grace of a Nephil sired by me, and there are no more Archangels available to do so. You have powers of your own and training in using them, albeit with an enhancement method that I would not recommend using with a Nephil, and would be well suited to teaching."

"Cas, my powers--"

"Are yours and yours alone. Azazel may have forcefully activated them on his own schedule and attempted to corrupt them and, through them, you, but he - and Ruby - failed. Your soul is far too pure and good for their hooks to find permanent anchor."

"But... I mean, you... angels... you always warned me against using them...."

"Only because the method with which you were amplifying them - that is, drinking demon blood - was so dangerous to you and the people around you, and training them to full strength properly after first tearing down Azazel's blocks would have taken considerably more time and effort... and, I suspect, those of my superiors actively assisting in bringing about the Apocalypse did not want you learning to use your powers without the addictive crutch of demon blood that could be used to prime your rage and point you at Lilith when the time came."

"So why are you just now telling me this?"

"Well," Castiel glanced away, looking somewhat sheepish. "To be honest, I did not realize that you were unaware that your powers were innate and not actually demonic in origin until I overheard you speaking of them in past tense as if they no longer existed because you were no longer drinking demon blood rather than you simply not using them. Given my clumsy understanding of social nuances and the complex mix of negative emotions you associate with your powers, I erred on the side of caution and did not mention it until our current conversation provided an opening."

Well. That was fair. Even so, Sam couldn't help but stare at Castiel as he attempted to process everything he had learned in such a short amount of time. The fact that the majority of Angels hated him was not new, but the fact that Heaven had actively sabotaged his efforts to be better than the demon blood that tainted him was... also not new, exactly, but Sam had never expected to hear it put so bluntly in conjunction with reassurance that his powers - and, by extension, Sam himself - did not come from a source of evil.

Even more bewildering was the hypothetical child Castiel spoke of and his assertion that Sam, not Dean who had always longed to be a parent, but Sam who had barely ever had anything to do with children even when he had been one, was to be given custody of the hypothetical Nephil if Castiel was incapacitated. The way Castiel had talked about the subject made it clear that he had never had Nephilim himself, and Sam knew that the creation of Nephilim was outlawed, and yet the Angel was sitting there, calm as you please, declaring that if he did ever have a child with a human and needed another parent besides himself and, presumably, the mother, that he would pick Sam. Sam, who was uncomfortable around kids at the best of times, even if he could fake passable competence in an emergency. Sam, who wouldn't trust himself to look after a completely human baby, never mind one that had "phenomenal cosmic powers" at its disposal. Sam who, until earlier when Castiel had declared that "nothing is worth losing you", had thought that Castiel might possibly consider him a friend at best and tolerated him as a reasonably useful asset at worst. Mind-boggling just didn't cover it.

And that wasn't even touching the whole thing with Castiel sounding like he was defending the actions of his soulless self. The subject of Sam's time topside without his soul was something Dean had never hesitated shut down hard, but Castiel had sounded almost... complimentary. Which made no sense, Sam knew, because without his soul he had been a tactless jerk, not--

"Your soulless self recognized that... and quite rightly called us out on our lack of respect for you and your sacrifices."

Sam swallowed against the lump forming in his throat, and again when it refused to be dislodged. Everything he did to help people, to try and make up for the damage he had caused, it never felt like enough. All the centuries spent in the Cage with Michael and Lucifer systematically taking out their rage on him amounted to only a year and a half on Earth, and the tortures blurred together to the point where Sam had long since lost count of how many centuries it had really been, shoving it down and shoving it down, his shaky forays into meditation and reshuffling his mind only managing to build the flimsiest of fences between his conscious mind and that echoing chasm of memory and pain, bits and pieces escaping here and there to scratch along his dreams. Little reminders that he may be out, maybe, but he would never be truly free. It was a truth, cold and logical and inexorable, that Dean refused to acknowledge in either of them, touched by Hell as they both were in different ways, and neither of them coping nearly as well as they wanted the other to believe.

"Stripped of your higher empathic functions and natural moral compass that is your soul, your body behaved with logical precision not unlike how most Angels would act."

The irony of an Angel of the Lord comparing his soulless self to other Angels was not lost on Sam, nor was the way that comparison gave him mixed feelings. All the years of praying, of believing in God and His Angels, having faith that some higher power was watching out for Dean and his Dad when he couldn't, that there was real good in the world to counterbalance all the evil being shoved at him from all sides...

"Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood."

...no....

"Nothing is worth losing you."

...but why....

"Sam? Sam, did you hear me?"

"Hm?" Jolted from his contemplating, Sam shot a guilty look first at the screen - how had he missed that much of the movie?! - and then gave Castiel a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Cas. What were you saying?"

"I was asking about Marius's assertion that he is in love with Cosette, when he has only just met her and barely interacted with her at all," Castiel repeated himself after a moment of scrutiny for his friend. "It seems disingenuous, more like the 'love' of the pizza man and the babysitter."

"It's supposed to be love at first sight, Cas," Sam explained, scrubbing a hand down his face. "It's like... when two people who've never interacted before meet, and there's this... connection that forms between them, like they click on a level that is deeper than physical or emotional. A look, a touch of hands... you just know, looking at that person, that this is it. This is the one." He shrugged. "It's talked about in books and movies and stories and songs all the time as this big romantic ideal, a lot like soulmates... uh, cupid-type soulmates, not me and Dean type soulmates."

"Do you not believe in love at first sight?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side with that puzzled curiosity that Sam found endearingly familiar.

"I don't disbelieve in it," Sam said, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, being a hunter has taught me that every story has some root in a truth. I just don't necessarily think that it always happens the way the stories make it sound. Like maybe sometimes it's one-sided, or something gets in the way like they live too far apart or one is already married or..." Sam bit his lip before he could continue the thought with mention of angels and humans, because he knew from Castiel that most instances of humans and angels coupling were less about romance and love and more about lust and awkward power imbalances, and the last thing he wanted to bring up right now was the hypothetical Nephil again. "Besides, just because love usually happens more slowly than a couple of seconds doesn't make it any less deep or meaningful or special."

"I see," Castiel hummed, and then, "Sam? How do you know when you're in love?"

...Shit.

"Uh," Sam reached up to rub the back of his neck, only to force his hand back down again when he realised what he was doing. "It's different for everyone, Cas...."

"I am aware," and there was a definite note of impatience in the gravelled voice. "I am asking how you know when you are in love."

"Oh," Sam mumbled. He could feel his face heating up and very nearly prayed that the heat wasn't a visibly obvious blush before he stopped himself; Castiel would probably hear it if he did. "Uh, well... not to sound like a broken record, but it was different for everyone I was... I mean, I felt differently about different people, even though it's all still love."

Castiel made an encouraging noise, and when Sam chanced a look in his direction, the Angel was turned more towards him than the screen, clearly interested and wanting to hear more. Well, okay then. Sam leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, reaching back into the depths of his memory for the times he was in love or thought he was, shying away from some of the memories like Madison or Sarah or Amelia, and focusing on the deeper ones, the ones that got under his skin and stayed there across the years, even just as scars. There was a pattern there, a set of feelings that overlapped each instance.

"Happiness," he began, because that was the obvious place to start. "When you see the person, you feel happy. Being around them, sitting next to them, holding hands, hugging... full of happiness and joy and peace. You feel happy when they're happy, sad when they're sad, hurt when they're in pain... You want to protect them, even when you know they can protect themselves. You would fight, kill, even die for them, not because they would ever ask it of you, but because losing them is... unthinkable. It's agony. And all the pain is worth it, because seeing them smile is... it's better than Heaven."

"Oh," Castiel breathed. "Yes, that... that makes so much sense now."

There was a shuffling sound, and the couch cushions dipped beneath shifting weight, and then Sam felt one of his hands being enfolded in Castiel's, the skitter of that unfamiliar Grace held tightly leashed beneath his skin tingling just at the edge of Sam's awareness. He opened his eyes and looked at Castiel, who was beaming at him now from much closer than he had been. "Cas...?"

"Sam," Castiel was still smiling, but it was warmer, softer than the brilliant joy of before, more comfortable and... "Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I was never able to explain myself adequately to my brothers, and so they frequently drew incorrect conclusions that I lacked the necessary frame of reference to refute or correct. Perhaps now I can make them understand."

"Understand?"

"That I am in love with you, Sam Winchester," Castiel squeezed Sam's hand gently. "My world started the day I took your hand. And I would not have it any other way."

"Cas... I...." He couldn't say it. He wanted to, God, did he ever want to say it back, but the words caught in his throat, too used to being choked back after so many years. "Cas...."

"I know. Sam? Will you hold me again? I enjoyed that quite a lot."

"Sure, Cas," Sam shifted, shoving the whirling of his thoughts back and away, and opened his arms. Castiel released his hand and moved closer, pressing the length of his body against Sam's. He let out a soft sigh as Sam brought his arms up to curl around Castiel, settling in a loose embrace that still managed to fully encompass the Angel's smaller physical frame. Together, they turned to watch the movie, wrapped up in each other and the mutual assurance that their feelings, spoken or not, were returned.

"Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in Heaven has in store...."

=End=

#sastiel #sastielcc #sastiel creations challenge #spn fluff bingo #supernatural fic

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lovemalecforever · 3 years

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Chapter 10

Emotions speak louder than words

Alec looked at her with slight relief and nodded. "Then let's head to New York tomorrow morning itself!"

"If that has to be done then I think Madzie can stay with him for the time being, in that way Magnus won't be alone."

"That sounds like a great idea, but... there's still a problem."

Catarina raised her brow. "What is it?"

"What am I going to tell Magnus about leaving for New York? I can't just say that I have to leave without giving him any reasonable explanation. And you're leaving with me too, he'll get suspicious and will ask a hell lot of questions!"

"We need to come up with something, but honestly I don't even know."

Rubbing his temples, he started pacing around when something struck him. He took out his phone and sent a quick text to his all-time lifesaver.

• Emergency needed, call ASAP!

-Alec. •

Catarina was looking at him intently, reviewing his actions, she got a glimpse of his text and got curious.

"Emergency needed! Really? And who did you text that to? Who else knows?"

Before Alec could answer, his phone started buzzing. He quickly picked it up and put it on speaker, but before he could say anything the other side's voice came quickly with a fierce and strong tone.

"Alec! Look, if this is one of your stupid kinds of emergencies, I swear, I'll portal myself to Alicante and kick your sweet little ass!"

Alec was mortified and his face was flushed with embarrassment. He looked at Catarina who was trying not to laugh.

"Are you done, Izzy!?"

Izzy sighed, then continued. "What is it, big brother?"

"First off, you're on speaker, Catarina is with me so 'thank you' for your sweet talk and second, we've found the complete spell!"

"By the angel! You did!" Izzy squealed. "But... this was your emergency, Alec?"

"Not exactly, for this ritual, I have to come to New York for a few days and Catarina is coming too, I'll explain everything when I'll be there. But the thing is, I don't know what to tell Magnus. Madzie is going to stay with him, but I can't just tell him I'm leaving without any reason, so, word of advice?"

"And to be honest, even though I'm not able to come up with something, knowing Magnus he's not gonna get convinced easily," Catarina added and looked at Alec.

"Oh! Hi Cat! Thank you for helping my brother, it's good to know that he has your support as well. And I agree with that. It's Magnus we're talking about."

"Izzy, not helping!" Alec said impatiently.

"Calm down big brother! Hold on a second..."

There was silence for some time on either side and Alec was growing impatient.

"Izzy, are you there?" But there was no reply.

"Izzy!?"

"Patience Alec!" Came the reply.

Alec sighed and looked at Catarina, she was getting worried too. After a few more minutes, Izzy finally spoke.

"Okay, so Alec, are you going to be busy with your ritual 24X7, or you'll have free time as well?"

"Honestly, it will take just a day, but I'll be needing everyone's permission first, I have to talk to everyone then only I'll proceed with it."

"Perfect! I think I have a solution to your problem!"

Alec and Catarina exchanged a look and heard her plan with curiosity.

_________________________

it was past 5:30 when Alec reached back home. As he entered, a strong smell engulfed his nostrils. Walking in further, he noticed Magnus's sleeping figure on the couch and sighed. The smell was strong and flavorful, so he was certain that something was cooking in the kitchen.

He walked towards their kitchen and saw that various kinds of herbs were spread on the kitchen slab, a pot was kept on the stove which was the source of the smell, and the stove was still on. He turned it off then walked back into the living room where his warlock was still sound asleep.

Kneeling down, he first caressed his cheek then left a soft peck on his forehead. As he was about to stand up, Magnus spoke in a hoarse voice.

"huhh... Alexander?"

"Hey there sleepyhead." He leaned down and pecked him on the lips.

"Hey. When did you come?" Magnus got up and sat on the couch.

"Just now."

"Oh, I didn't hea- oh no!" He panicked and was about to get up when Alec held him and made him sit down.

"Mags, if that was about the dinner you're preparing, I turned off the stove so don't worry, your dinner is safe. You can rest more if you want."

"No, I'm good, and thank you."

"For what? Turning off the stove?" He asked, confused.

"For finally coming home early, though it's not the early I expected but still, thank you."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

"Are you feeling guilty?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Magnus, shut it!"

Magnus laughed a little and pulled Alec towards him making both of them fall on the couch, he then got on top of Alec and locked their lips. They pulled apart when they felt the need to breathe. He then rested his head on his Shadowhunter's chest.

"Magnus, love, not right now. We've got dinner to plan, right?"

"Ugh! Can't I cuddle my husband for a few minutes?"

"Magnus!"

"Ugh! Fine! You go get freshen up while I prepare the dinner."

____________________________________

*Time Skip- After dinner*

They both had their dinner and were cuddled on the couch watching Magnus' favorite movie. Alec was sitting and had his legs rested on the table while Magnus was laying down, his head rested on Alec's lap with a blanket covering him, Alec's fingers running through his hair and stroking it gently.

Alec was stroking his Warlock's hair, tangling it in his fingers then untangling it, stroking it then repeating the process again and again absentmindedly as his focus was on how to tell him about leaving for New York.

Magnus noticed this and looked up at his shadowhunter. "Is there something bothering you, Alexander?"

"Huh!? What?" Alec looked down at him.

"Is there something bothering you? You're nervous."

"I'm not nervous, Magnus."

"Alexander, I know your nervous tics, you always do that with my hair whenever you're nervous. What is it?"

"No, I don't, Magnus."

"Yes you do, now say it!"

Alec sighed, he knew he couldn't keep ignoring it and burst it on him at the eleventh hour. "I don't want to ruin our moment, but, can you please sit up? I need to talk to you."

This made Magnus worried, and he got up, paused the movie, and sat there facing his husband. "What's wrong?"

"Magnus, I... I need to leave for New York for a few days."

"What? But why so suddenly?"

"I didn't want to bring it up, but the demon attack that happened a month ago resulting in almost a war... " He trailed off and searched his Warlock's eyes for any sign of distress.

Magnus gulped nervously at the mention of that but composed himself and looked at his Shadowhunter. "What about that?"

"You're aware that it wasn't just in Alicante, it was all around the globe, but Alicante was the main target, destroying almost everything. The Clave made new rules and tightened their hold on the working ways of shadowhunters. They are still working on the new rules." He paused for a moment and looked at him in the eyes.

"I'm not getting it, how is it related?"

"There was a similar attack in New York a few days ago, it was taken care of, but the Clave wants to know how did it happen since every measure was taken and even wards were made stronger. So, they want someone from Clave to go there and inquire about it, and since I'm an Ex-Head of the Institute of New York they want me to go. Also, the meeting related to what was supposed to happen in Alicante has now been shifted to New York, so Cat is coming with me too as she's the new High Warlock of New York." He finished and looked at his warlock deep in the eyes.

Magnus looked at him, taking in every word he said, tears forming in the back of his eyes. The visions of that dreadful day coming in front of his eyes, he shut his eyes tightly.

Alec saw the sudden change in features of his warlock, he knew that look really well, and he knew what to do.

"Mags, hey! Look at me, I'm not going on any fieldwork, it's just a meeting. Hey, love, look at me!" He said softly while caressing his cheeks.

Magnus opened his eyes, tears were pooling on the edge of it. Alec's heart broke seeing that look on his warlocks face.

'I'm sorry, Magnus. I bought it up, but it was necessary, I didn't know what to do or say to you so Izzy and I advanced my inquiry visit and the meeting which was supposed to happen after a month as I didn't want to stress you, but I didn't have the option, I'm sorry love, I wish I can tell you that I'm actually leaving to be yours forever. Inquire visits and meetings are just excuses.' Alec thought.

"Mags, hey, I know what's scaring you, but please, don't think about it. I'm going to be at the institute the whole time and do you think any one of them will let me go on any hunts? They'll kick my ass and make me stay at the institute. You know Jace and Izzy, they won't let me. You don't have to worry about it." He cupped his Warlock's cheeks and wiped away the tears trying to escape from his eyes with the help of his thumbs.

"I'm sorry, I just... that day..."

"Mags..." He said softly.

"Do you promise you won't go on any missions? I know that's your job... but... I just ca-"

"Magnus, I promise, I won't. Just stop crying now, I can't see you like this." 'That's not what I'm going for anyways.' he added in his mind.

Magnus gave him a dull smile, still not completely recovered from the flashes of memories he just had. "When are you leaving?"

"I..." He cleared his throat. "Tomorrow morning. And since Cat is coming with me too, we thought Madzie could stay with you for the time being. If you're okay with it?"

Magnus became a little more normal at the mention of his favorite warlocks name. "Are you kidding!? Sweet pea is always welcomed here. And, by the way, when did you meet Cat?"

"Umm... this evening, before coming home. I went to her apartment to tell her about it."

"Oh, that explains it! Alexander, I'm sorry, I got really emotional for no reason. It's just that I'm not able to-"

"Magnus, I know. You don't have to explain. I didn't want to bring it up, but it was necessary. Honestly, if it hadn't been important, I would never agree on leaving. But Mags, you'll be okay for a few days without me?" He said the last part a little teasingly to lighten the mood, and that did work.

"Why wouldn't I be, instead, me and sweet pea are gonna enjoy and party without your grumpy complaints now and then!"

"Excuse me!? I'm not grumpy!"

"Says the king of grumpiness."

"I'm not grumpy, Magnus!"

"Look who's getting grumpy right no-"

Before Magnus could complete the sentence Alec locked their lips and kissed him with every emotion pooling inside him, his one hand stroking his face gently and the other on his waist holding him in place. He pulled apart after some time and looked straight into Magnus' eyes.

"Can we please live in the moment right now and not discuss that further," Alec said breathlessly.

"Couldn't agree more!"

"Wanna lay down again?" He tapped his lap.

"No, I want cuddles!" He got closer to him leaving no distance between them, lifted the Shadowhunter's hand, wrapped it around himself, and rested his head on his chest, covering them both with the blanket and resuming the movie.

Alec tightened his grip around his warlock's shoulders and smiled with relief that Magnus wasn't upset anymore. He kissed him on top of his head and resumed watching the movie.

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