#I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME

[pillowenvelopchair]

Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)

Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles

Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff

Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)

She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…

Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.

It's basically:

Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.

So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.

“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22

For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)

Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.

Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.

But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.

Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)

I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.

Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).

Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.

Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)

Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.

"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp.  Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23

(I just really love this part- I can't help it)

I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.

In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)

Rogier’s overthinking

Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past

"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17

It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.

Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.

I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.

He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).

ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:

1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does

Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)

It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.

Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)

Chapter 17 analysis

Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.

I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.

"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth.  There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17

This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.

He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.

I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it

“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.

“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?

Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability

A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:

Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.

He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.

Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.

But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.

He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.

He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.

Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).

It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.

It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)

Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.

Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.

But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.

"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5

“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply.  “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5

It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.

So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)

In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems

(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)

[EDIT]: Another thing I've noticed is that Rogier kind of views himself lowly (self-esteem issues ayyyy).

"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him.  Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5

"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12

Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.

Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.

He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?

"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19

Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.

I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.

Rogier is a man who refuses to grieve and is desperate for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy

This entire post's summary is just me going:

Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)

Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)

(bonus boggart because I love him)

#not gonna talk about d yet #I don't want to assume too much about him just yet #but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.) #Rogier is so damn complicated #like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist #mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it #sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained #or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room #hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :( #oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol #theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again #some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw #swrd #rogier #magdalene #envelope rambles #i wrote this in like. two sittings #what is happenign to me #I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME #the mortifying ordeal of posting #AAAA #uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN #[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3

[minarcana]

#ok guess what fuckers youre going to be on another tag ramble adventure with me #ive been afflicted with the same images in my brain tumbling around and the only way to free my brain is to write them out #and anyways i have been contemplating wol au uri for a bit due to various reasons (he came up and then i got this image and couldnt be free #shb with uri as the wol is. after killing vauthry. he is SO fucked up that raha STILL wont just let him die #he was supposed to have raha send him to the rift with the light and let him die there but now that he cant stop him rahas taking it himsel #and theres the whole. 'no we really cannot have the wol die.' thing. #that makes it infinitely worse to uri. him just yelling through blood to let him die! let him have his turn! he WANTS to die! #the idea of bring told that the wol CANT die makes it so much more unfair to him #'you wouldnt know what to do if i died? i didnt know what to do for years after louisoux died! i still dont know what to do without moenbry #da! papalymo can sacrifice himself and everyone adapts! shtola has thrown herself to the lifestream twice! minfilia died! i had to stay sil #ent and let ryne choose her own path if she died or not! i cant tell people that i would be lost yet everyone gets to tell ME that? #do you think i am better than them do you think them worth less why do they have the right to die and i do not!' #he is SO SO SO much worse as a wol and it falls out in one outburst after hes quizzed as to why he thought he could sacrifice himself #but he also realizes that its really fucked up to say that aloud so yknow. yknow what. yknow. #hell bottle up all his feelings and then one day hell either die or start crying and it looks like he aint allowed to die! #he still takes the aid from ardbert at amaurot with the statement that #'if i dont try and save who i might then ill never be able to face moenbryda' #anyways cannot stop thinking about me giving uri the echo like 'this will be funny!' and hes just 'my life has become infinitely worse' #HEAD IN MY HANDS

[astrxealis]

i lost my moral compass ever since i started liking zenos

#/joke pls LMAO although i genuinely do like zenos's character #you see . idk but i love his character ... ig i can understand how it's like too ( not to the same extent ofc though dw ) #i like tsuyu and fordola too :] i. i don't hate asahi bcs i LOVE his voice but also he's ... yeah ......... #he's a funny guy . i can't hate him . but it'd be wrong to say i love him . and then fandaniel is one of my favs lmao <3 #emet-selch is SUCH a good character ... you cannot fight me when i say he is literally the best antagonist #hmmmhmhmhmhm characters like belial beelzebub and lucilius greatly fascinate me :O i like them all too heh #my favorite characters i realize are a Bit morally ambiguous though ... dimitri akechi sandalphon g'raha #sandy and dima are more 'shit happened but in the end i'm getting better' i can't explain properly but that is . the gist #akechi ... if you know you know. and for g'raha >_< all of them i think are good people at heart #tho dimitri went thru that stuff! sandy w his purpose and all! sandy similar to raha but raha is moreso just. doing his duty for the best #possible outcome ( 'best' btw ) and will do what it takes to keep us alive and save the world from peril ( i love him sm ) #akechi ... yeah just if you know. then you know. it's just pretty tragic #idk where i went with this i suddenly got Thoughts #⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i would say i definitely still have quite the strong moral compass ... it's complicated. not black and white #i think about that stuff a lot but at the very least the one truth is that i just generally want the world to be a better place eowjofnsod #+ justice !! yes :] okay i stop rambling now for this #tag later #what is my saved tag again

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying #the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored #but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either #so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do? #how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask #but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao #i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make #me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go) #but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response #then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up. #so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does #that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings. #i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people #and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught #or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting #oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words. #hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in #but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like #lee rants #im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff #only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation #but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭

[othercrossee]

#z rants #NOT MAD ANYMORE ITS JSUT FUNNY TO ME NOW #okay i eed to actually ramble about this cuz i ended up laughing reading shit on twt about how what he said was a mistranslation #ill be censoring his name cuz i dont aant it leak into the tag and i dont want yall pieces of shit to argue with me #a fat person who can comprehend what he said and how it cpuld come across despite it not being his intention 👍 #also cuz as a fan for 5 years who love these guys a lot but still see them as human who can very much do wrong and judge them for that #yall bow to these bitches a little too much like they arent grown ass men who are being idolized by many its so crazy #first of all. an apology is so easy idk why u think he csnt comprehend what he said or refuse to answer but sure #lets get into it #amother thing is yall must be some pretentious little cunts telling people to apologizs to hao instead #i do want cunts who were bodyshaming him in recent news to do that whatever but. people who r rightfully mad? #they have the rights to be idc what wrong translation when u read at the sentence throughly it stil came off....weird #lets not make this into a personal issue thing we all know the industry is filled with fatphobic cunts whos awaiting the moment to say sum #so what he said is apparently * they need to stop esting but i cannot say it thoughtlessly. because whatever your body type is- #you just need to love yourself* which is understandable mind u. id say this is an okay answer #but i do think the way he just word this shit is so bad like u didnt nedd to add the first part my god 😭😭😭 sir 😭😭 #he meant well mind u i do think he does but its just craazyyyy #* they need to stop eatinf but i csnt say it thoughtlessly* just dont say it then bro 😭 not that hard #do u not see the undertone of that? EVEN IF that wasnt hsi intention #thats another one of fatphobia undertone babey! csnt say it thoughtlessly. god thats so good man #so if u were to say it thoughtfully what would it be then? they ened to eat healthier? #let me repeat this. no matter which is his intention. he should still be educated about this more #especiallh coming from a person like him with skinny priviledge and in an industry so filled with hate for fat people #twt bitches r a bunch of bootlicking little bitches be serious for once yall r too dramatic idk laugh a little #*theyre attacking him! apologize!* we r asking a 25 yo man to be accountable for what he said as an idol with milliosn of fan #who all comprehend his answer differently and how that answer could mean when u think of fatphobia rhetoric 😁 #twt carat dni yall cannot think st all its sk crazy that the first thing i saw was someone being so emotional about the whole issue #and how the people who r mad should rethink this snd spologize and r fake fans #must be so much to not use your brain at all like them #grown ass man accidentally says sth fatphobic and csnr even apologize a little bit when we all kmow its get swept under the rug anyways

[cyberm4n]

You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)

alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!

pt1, pt2

this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!

tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21

cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive

other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.

left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.

■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least

■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship

■ which both are fine with btw

■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever

■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him

■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage

■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know

■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor

■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before

■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.

■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you

■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything

■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it

■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it

■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling

■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you

■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other

■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast

moving on

■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that

■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them

■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge

■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart

■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would

■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do

■ same if you're upset with both

■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition

■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(

■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.

■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough

■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments

■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt

■ anyways, they both come in, it's late

■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little

■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely

■ you've never cried like this before

■ it scares them. alot.

■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.

■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you

■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.

■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone

■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset

■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back

■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night

■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised

■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.

"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.

"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.

"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.

"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.

"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.

lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.

■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"

■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times

■ but he's impressed alastor even asked

■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.

■ that night changed a lot between them tbh

■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed

■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.

■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities

■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist

■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable

■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing

■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous

■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him

■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.

■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted

■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure

■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"

after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.

he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.

without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.

and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.

and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.

as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.

“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”

when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.

after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.

alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:

“just keep cuddling her”

#lucifer smut #alastor smut #hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #lucifer morningstar #radioapple #alastor the radio demon #alastor x lucifer #smut #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer

[tojivu]

# OFFICE HOURS ‣ GOJO SATORU

✰ — author’s note i feel so guilty bc gojo is literally the only character i write for LOL anyway this is an old draft from months ago. idk why this is so long im so horrendously down bad for this fucking snowman.

✰ — cw / tags arrogant ceo!gojo x secretary f!reader, sfw, not rly enemies to lovers bc gojo has fat feelings, gojo satoru being a billionaire playboy

✰ — playing death & taxes by daniel caesar.

✰ — word count ~3k LOL

nothing about gojo satoru really strikes you as the serious type.

even in a professional environment, your boss always has a carefree demeanour. his laugh is so nauseatingly loud that you can hear it from outside the office, and you wonder how someone as busy as him manages through his day; much less with a positive attitude. you take one look at his schedule, and you want to vomit with the way you hardly see any gaps between appointments.

you suppose you could learn that from him. it's his only good quality.

you admit that he's likeable, on surface level. there's a reason why you detest him, though: as his closest colleague, you know him way more than you would prefer. most people would think such a well to do man like satoru would have a wife by his side, but that's unfortunately not the case. you almost feel more miserable than him—because now you're forced to be the listening ear and comforting hand at his beck and call.

you think he'd be just fine if he was just a little more humble. he has a nice face. it's his fault for being so stuck up. you know how many women ask him out—painfully aware, actually.

'they just aren't suited to my taste,' he would say to you. 'i need someone that makes me feel alive.'

one time, gojo even asked you to bail him out of a date—something about the way she held her fork and knife disturbed him, and you were expected to show up at the restaurant and act as if there was an emergency.

'i'm so sorry, sweetheart. i have to go, duty calls.' his disgustingly charming tone made you want to slap him then and there.

she called him again the following week, and he completely forgot who she was. he didn't even save her number.

the sheer number of people asking him out had stroked his ego so hard that gojo firmly believes no woman is deserving enough. he rambles on and on to you about how snobby some of them seem, and it takes everything in you to bite your tongue when he does. 'takes one to know one,' you would say, if not for your job at stake.

you think gojo satoru is full of himself. you are a strong believer of that. a witness, as well—it's not like he didn't try his way with you, too. unlike the women he ranted about, you turned him down every single time.

it's been a long while since any of that has happened, though. the most recent ordeal was months ago, but that didn't inherently mean that people stopped asking him out: it just meant that he was rejecting every single offer.

it's a thursday morning when you find yourself eating a sandwich you purchased on the way to work, at your desk—wondering when the big boss will finally arrive. the clock read 9 a.m., and you're expecting an extravagant "good morning!" to surprise you any moment now.

just then, you notice mr. conceited walk in: except something is different. he has no stride in his step. there was no good morning. there was no playful teasing directed at you as he walked past your desk and into his office, not that you were complaining—it was just strange.

you stand up, a mouthful of your sandwich still being chewed. you take a big sip of water and fix your skirt and blouse, making sure your hair is presentable—before swiftly making your way into his office.

──────

"i cannot believe this." he mumbles. you're standing in front of his desk, but he's not facing your direction.

gojo's chair is turned to the giant window that overlooks the business district, and he's gazing out of it thoughtfully. you think this is the cheesiest thing you've seen him do.

you can see how disheveled his hair was, even from where you were standing. you don't want to irritate him further, in case teasing you was still on his to-do list that day.

"what is it, mr. gojo?"

he swivels his chair around, and he is a mess—just what could have he been up to?

"i woke up late today."

"you're the boss, mr. gojo. you can come in any time you want—"

"not the point." he interrupts you. "i forgot my lunch. i was in the car, with the driver, on the way here already. . . and then i realised i left my donuts at home."

gojo's face is absolutely distraught. he looks like he's gone through a divorce and had his house set on fire with how he stands up dramatically—his hands now on his desk. you open your mouth to speak, but he shuts you up by talking again.

"i didn't want to inconvenience him. i'm too thoughtful, miss y/n."

you want to scoff, but you bite your tongue and hold back.

"so i got out of the car and ran back for it," gojo recounts. "i arrived home after the treacherous journey—only to discover that my donuts are gone."

you feign an expression of shock, just to humour him; he gives you an 'i know right' look, and continues his nonsensical story.

"the maids threw them away, miss y/n."

you can't help yourself: you let a small giggle slip through your lips. you quickly use your hand to cover your mouth, thinking of a quick excuse.

you cough. you pretend to, at least—but gojo satoru is not stupid.

no, maybe a little. though, not enough to be convinced of your terrible acting.

"nothing about this is funny."

you nod, looking down at the floor. "i apologise, mr. gojo, but it's just a few donuts. i'm sure someone in the office could fetch some for you."

"yes, i agree." he says, and you shift your gaze from the marble tiling of his office to his face. his hair is a mess, yes—but he still looks revoltingly handsome. his eyes are piercing through yours, and pieces of hair cover his face in just the right places.

you're staring a little too long and gojo finds his pulse quickening with the eye contact—but the spell he has you under is soon broken when he clears his throat.

you quickly look away, embarrassed that you were caught staring at your boss, by your boss.

"you'll pick some up for me, yeah?" his smooth and silky voice echoes through the empty space of his office.

you look at him again, and there's a gentle smile on his face; one you're all too familiar with.

you're aware of satoru's charismatic nature, his playboy-ish attitude, and all sorts of tricks he uses to make women fall head over heels for him. that didn't mean you were completely resistant to them, though—you find yourself playing with the sleeves of your blouse, your ears beginning to redden. "of course," is all you manage to say.

at least you were self-aware.

your mind was rational. should gojo satoru try to hit on you for the nth time—all it took was some self discipline to say no, and you'd like to think you had plenty.

you think the conversation is done with the way he doesn't speak another word, so you turn on your heels and make your way out of the office.

just as you touch the handle of the door, your boss adds: "i'll come with you."

you turn back to him, confused. you didn't need your boss babysitting you for a donut run, you knew his favourite flavours—it's all he ever insists on buying for lunch. "there's no need for that, mr. gojo."

satoru shakes his head in disapproval. "you don't even know my favourite flavours, miss y/n."

that was a blatant lie. he knew you knew. you were his personal donut grabber for a few months up until august, and it was only october. you suppose that it would've continued on if not for your complaints about the long lines in the morning.

nevertheless, you don't argue with him. gojo satoru was the type to get what he wants, when he wants, if he really wants it.

you smile at his disregard for the months you spent as his errand runner, and how idiotic the excuse he just used was. satoru knows he's lying through his teeth, and your smile makes him more nervous than your eye contact.

so nervous, in fact, that he takes back what he just said. "unless. . . you're fine by yourself."

you're surprised that gojo's confidence is dissipating, or that it could even fade at all. you can tell with the way he's avoiding your eye contact, exactly how you evaded his earlier—the red on the tips of his ears are much too obvious in contrast to his hair.

"i don't mind," you respond a bit too quicker than appropriate. "mr. gojo."

gojo curses himself mentally, thinking about how stupid he must sound. he's usually the one making people nervous, but he doesn't know why it's different when you look at him like that.

──────

the atmosphere is deafening in gojo's favourite bakery. you always knew he had a sweet tooth, so you expected his choice to be a spectacular one—and you weren't disappointed.

you had personally visited this bakeshop before, and the confectionery was truly as good as people made it out to be; it proved evident in the amount of people crammed into this small establishment. though, you can't tell if it was for the food or for your boss, with the way most pairs of eyes are turned in his direction.

you two spend a good five seconds looking at the menu before gojo states his order, which was exactly what you thought it would be—the lady at the cashier smiles a bit too long at satoru, before asking: "eating in?"

you want to open your mouth to say something, but he beats you to it. "of course."

it was still very well your work day. he (or maybe you and him, considering you helped him plan seventy percent of his appointments) had a meeting in 3 hours to prepare for. you think this donut adventure is already unnecessary enough—but here he is, suggesting to waste even more time eating the donuts in the bakery itself.

"we have a meeting in a bit, though. you could eat it in your office."

he looks at you with a confused look, as if he forgot that there was a meeting at all—because he did forget. gojo gasps, turning back to the lady and retracting his previous statement.

──────

gojo eats his donuts agonisingly slow and no conversation is initiated.

you're alternating between staring at both your laptops and the swirls on the wooden desk, unable to say anything because you didn't plan for such an occasion: an eating donuts with your admittedly handsome boss that makes you nervous while simultaneously planning for an important meeting occasion.

"miss y/n, you should try some."

you shift your eyes from the table to gojo, and he's holding a small piece of his donut to your lips: the powdered sugar practically calling your name.

"it's fine, i ate earlier," you decline his generous offer. "you should eat."

"i'm not asking you to eat all of them, miss y/n." he smiles at you. "just a bite. it's really good, y'know."

you sigh, reaching for his hand to take it from him—but he swiftly pulls it away and shakes his head. "open your mouth."

you feel the tips of your ears burning, blood rushing to your cheeks and you wonder how the girls he takes out manage themselves when he's like this—you've worked with him for so long, yet you can't recall a time when his gaze wouldn't make you shudder.

you think you'd stutter if you spoke one more word to him, so you save yourself from the embarrassment and bare with his request.

he feeds you the piece of sugar-coated donut, and you're sure you have powder on the corners of your lips with how it's width barely fits into your mouth.

you chew and swallow, feeling the residue of sugar on your skin.

"do you have any tissues?" you ask him, a serious expression plastered onto your face.

gojo tries to suppress the chuckle itching to escape his throat—the sugar on your lips and cheeks catch him off guard, and after a few seconds he can't help but let a small laugh slip. you stand up from your chair, scanning the room for any boxes of tissues you could lay your hands on.

he stands up as well, shaking his head—still giggling.

"it's not funny," you frown, and the smile on his face only grows wider—you're too cute for your own good when you sulk. "stop laughing."

you're not sure if you want to punch him or let him giggle to himself. for some reason, seeing you embarrassed is a great cause of joy to him. you can't bring yourself to tell him to shut up; you always imagine doing just that, it's strange how you couldn't muster the courage just when you needed it most.

"it's quite funny," gojo's laughter eventually calms down.

he leans closer to you and his right hand gently holds the side of your jaw—he uses his thumb to gently wipe the sugar off your cheek, and then your lips. "i got it."

his thumb stays on your bottom lip after dusting the sugar away. his pupils are locked onto the surface of your lips, which were glossy in the harsh light of his office: they looked so soft.

before long, they trail up your face until he's looking directly into your eyes: and this time you're not nervous, you don't look away, and your heart is completely calm.

satoru's fingers are easy on your skin. he handles you like fragile glass, as if he doesn't want to break you: and it's the same for the way he looks at you. gentle.

you're reluctant to speak because the way satoru has his thumb on your bottom lip sends shivers down your spine. you feel breathless.

you don't want this feeling to leave, not just yet.

a few seconds of tension pass. his hand moves back to your jaw, and your nervousness returns when gojo satoru leans his tall figure even closer to you; his head tilting ever so slightly.

it's a random thursday morning when you discover a few more good qualities gojo satoru possesses: his lips and his hands. maybe the way he kisses, too—it's slow and precise, unlike his attitude. he tastes sickeningly sweet and it makes you want to savour this moment even more.

you promised yourself you wouldn't fall victim to gojo satoru. yet, you just can't pull away: instead finding yourself slithering your arms around his neck and your chest pressing against his.

gojo's hands are wandering down to your waist and he's desperate to have you as close to him as possible, showing in the way he tries to close the already small gap between you two.

it takes only a fraction of a second for a small thought to form in your mind: just how many women have been in this position?

you quickly forget about that thought, though—you think it's pointless to regret it now, gojo satoru kisses you too good to be full of remorse.

gojo thinks he could stay like this: kiss you all morning, afternoon and pay you overtime if it meant he could be this close to you for just a bit longer.

there's hints of neediness in gojo's touch—as if he'd been waiting for this forever, wanting to relish it before it ends. his few seconds of bliss don’t last very long though, because you're soon pulling away—gasping for air.

he sighs mockingly, his hands sliding down from your waist to your hips. "can't last longer than 10 seconds, miss y/n?"

of course he would say some cocky shit like that—you'd forgotten for a minute that this was the same, arrogant mr. gojo you always knew, and no kiss (however heavenly) was going to change that.

"i'm sorry that i don't go on dates with every man that breathes."

gojo smirks at you after you say those words. "come on. just because i go on dates with people, doesn't mean i kiss them like this."

"sure you don't." your jealousy shows a bit too much in your reply, and he finds himself smiling even harder.

"is someone jealous?" he teases you again, rubbing circles with his thumb against the flesh of your hips.

you feel flustered, knowing that you're definitely done for now—he saw right through you. "nobody is jealous, mr. gojo."

"stop it with the formality. just call me satoru."

"it's still office hours. it's only polite."

gojo rolls his eyes, sighing in the process. you grin a little at him, knowing that this was the first thing you denied him of today—complying with the donuts and the kissing was already spoiling him enough.

"then i suppose there's only after work," there's his nauseatingly charming voice again—low and smooth. he knows exactly what he's doing to you, and you know it too. "i'm off after 6."

you think long and hard about whether you want to be mean and add this to the list of things you've declined to do for him. the ratio was starting to get really unbalanced—but you remember the way his hands touch you and how his lips greet yours so lovingly: and you think that there's no point turning back now.

"my boss doesn't let me off until after 8, though." you try to poke at his buttons—you put on a fake pout, knowing you’ll accept his invitation anyway—but gojo satoru is eternally patient when it came to things he sincerely desired.

"fuck your boss." he says, "he'll be fine with it."

you laugh at his response. you never thought you would see the day gojo curses at himself, after all, he's so self-obsessed: but you suppose you've seen—and tasted—parts of him that you never knew existed.

"then i'll see you at 6, mr. gojo."

what was the harm in discovering more?

230323 — i kinda hate this but.. wtv… anyway i couldn’t be bothered to proofread have my brainrot of gojo in a suit Mmmm yumyum

#jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x reader fluff #gojo x reader #gojo x reader fluff #gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk imagine #jjk imagines #gojo imagine #gojo imagines #gojo x y/n #gojo x you

[luuxxart]

So this is the anon who just finished the comic and does like hitoshi x akechi and after you mentioned it in the tags I just cannot stop thinking about Akira x hitoshi x akechi it seems so so silly. I feel like they all simultaneously balance eachother out while being terrible influences.

I would love to hear more of your thoughts on it if you'd like to share (I have more myself but I dont wanna ramble in your inbox dt6tudtud)

toxic trio real and true…,,,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS OMLLLLLLLLLL PLEASEEEEE RAMBLE IN MY INBOX🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

like!!!! This makes me so happy u have no idea,,,,,

anyway,,,, if u are interested ,,, here

are my thoughts……….

too many cooks! too many cooks!

akechi definitely plays them against each other (ex. “Akira won’t do [x] for me 🥺 but will you…?” “Hitoshi told me no about [x] but… I know you would…”)

what is in it for Akira and Hitoshi? welp. Not much. Mostly Akechi. It’s like they’re positive hydrogens. and Akechi is a very negative oxygen in the middle

but Hitoshi is still definitely a pushover and would do anything Akira asked him to. and honestly ??? he’s probably pretty into the crimes Akira has him do. It gives him an outlet to vent his frustrations

Akira never asks Hitoshi to be his fall guy or look the other way when he’s stealing something. No no no. he wants that man in on the action. Live a little.

I think they would actually be like synchronized swimmers in the kitchen. Hitoshi despises how well Akira is able to prepare fish, but hey. Someone’s gotta do it and it’s not gonna be Hitoshi, so. They cover each others weaknesses in the kitchen.

Akira is also a really good listener and lockbox, so Hitoshi probably traumadumps on him often. It’s a comfort Hitoshi didn’t think he needed, but he probably ends up either falling asleep in Akira’s arms by the end of it all or saying some dumb shit before leaving like “I think I was born to meet you” that takes Akira’s breath away

Akira ends up spooning with Hitoshi a lot and having so much tall boyfriend to sprawl out on is a fucking dream.

For fear of Akira and Hitoshi leaving him for each other, Akechi probably wedges himself between them as often as possible.

But in the end they somehow… manage to make the discordance work a little bit……

idk I think it would end with Hitoshi having to leave both of them for the good of his own mental health unless they make it to the end of graduation, at which point, Hitoshi becomes well-loved long distance boyfriend for epilogue reasons while Akira and Akechi stay in Inaba for epilogue reasons.

Generally though,,,, I think it’s just not . Something that would come together . Like…Ever

#I ALSO WANT TO MAKE SURE YALL KNOW AKECHIS HAND IS JUST DANGLING BTW #also also truly sorry this took so long to get tooooo #goro akechi #akira kurusu #hitoshi hirayami #student council au #shuake #akeshi #akishi #shuakeshi #ask

[vasito-de-leche]

i just realized something from each arcanist's voiceline, im not sure if u are ahead of me in this but anyways...

...their "monologue" segments, each of their monologue segments their most vulnerable they have ever been or the deepest they have ever opened up, at least for the ones that I have read.

for example:

- pavia admitting that every night it feels like he's still in piedmonte (by extension, that boarded up basement)

- blonney thinking why it's impossible for humans and arcanists to get along when they have similar interests like movies

- mesmer jr. screaming to stop being insane and leave her alone (poor girl is traumatized and a big F you to constantine and her family for being persistent in putting her in those situations)

- sotheby in yet another scene about how little she knows about distinguishing human things and arcane things (which is a problem for a young arcanist like her should she be unintentionally blatant about it)

- horropedia being glad that he is still himself despite the foundation's attempt to fit him in a mold

all in all, "monologue" segments are actually sad bits about our faves

A good chunk of the monologues are tragic, yeah - but I think that it's because we have the benefit of the full picture and we each have our own interpretations!

I just don't like to think of monologues as just exclusively sad bits for characters to show how sad they are or used to be in their lives? It takes away the nuance of how the character speaks about these things, if that makes sense!

I'll put the rest of my thoughts and ramblings under the cut so I don't keep clogging the main tag with nonsense <3

For example, Pavia's monologue - a popular interpretation of his character is that he's still traumatized by his past and the time he spent in the basement, therefore his monologue implies that no matter where he goes, he's still alone in that dark basement. From my personal reading on it, Pavia is a character who reclaimed the things that hurt him (the darkness, the isolation) and are now part of him (his wolves and shadow arcanum, his independence).

So to me, that monologue is a threat. I already explained this in detail in my first Pavia posts, so I'll spare y'all from the repetition lolol

Sotheby's monologue - you say that her lack of knowledge when it comes to differentiate human things from arcanist things is a problem. To me, this quote is just a highlight of her curiosity and her sheltered life, because she sounds chipper at the idea of learning new things. And I think it's a monologue meant to focus on her curiosity, because her Insight II is "World on the Other Side" which shows Sotheby inside a glass cage, looking outside to the real world.

The outside world is different from what I imagined. There are more arcane animals than I thought ... Humans are also more interesting!

And one can still continue to look deeper into this monologue and relate it to the full context of her situation to have a different reading!

Maybe someone else thinks this quote is extremely fucking tragic, because we're talking about a rich, privileged and sheltered girl who relied heavily on her caretaker, Mr. Karson, and now that he's gone, she's left to explore the world all on her own! Maybe it's a really lovely and happy quote, because it shows Sotheby's growth, still excited to learn about the outside world! Maybe it's all at once!

And Blonney's monologue, to me that's not a tragic voiceline at all but a rather hopeful moment for Blonney, a moment of thoughtful consideration which contrasts the "Blonde Bimbo" stereotype she's been cast in and shows how observant and attentive to detail she can be.

Is it true that humans and arcanists cannot live in harmony? We have so many things in common to share and enjoy, like the movies. As I learned about humans from the movies, so can humans learn about arcanists ... It's just that no one has made such a movie yet.

From my reading on this monologue, Blonney very clearly believes it's possible for humans and arcanists to live in harmony - it only takes for both sides to consider each other's perspectives. She's lived among humans, she's learned about humans through their movies. But she's ignorant about arcanists because of the way she was raised, because of the lack of exposure she's had to arcanists and their world.

No one has made such a movie, but maybe her, an arcanists that's experienced the duality of everything, a bimbo who is majoring in film, a major that everyone insists is wrong for her because it doesn't fit her image - maybe she can make such movie.

Yes, it's a sad monologue because of the context of subtle oppression towards arcanists, because of what we know about Blonney's life and all. But to me, it doesn't end on a sad note. Especially with how driven and outspoken Blonney is.

It's the same for Horropedia's monologue for me - yes, he's serious when talking about the way the Foundation and the way they continue to cut away all the unwanted parts of the arcanists they take in, but it also ends on a nice note. He's relieved to have survived being true to himself, he's relieved Vertin was able to do the same.

And then there's Mesmer Jr.'s monologue - this one is, without a doubt, an awful moment for her. Given what we know about her background and family, from either the main story or the Three Doors update, we can safely assume this is her having a panic attack of sorts, steming from her trauma and long-term internalized hatred/fear/disgust towards arcanists.

This is the most objectively sad and tragic monologue out of these. But what of the reading?

Is this Mesmer Jr. being comfortable enough around Vertin to let her see such a violent and vulnerable moment? Someone could easily read this as Mesmer Jr. and Vertin's relationship being repaired slowly to allow such display of vulnerability, the same way someone could easily read this as Vertin just stumbling upon Mesmer Jr. having the worst time of her life. Someone might also interpret this as Vertin doing something that caused Mesmer Jr. to react like this!

A few other examples I have at the top of my head that can differ greatly depending on the way you choose to read it...

Bette's monologue, for example!

 I've dreamt forever about my first character, not as a rich young man, a courageous adventurer, a fair or rich lady, but the first character starred by me, Bette with brown hair! I have noted them all in this notebook, which is called "My Script."

Is this voiceline sad? It can be, if you choose to intepret it as Bette's inability to get a starring role, while all of her dreams of being the protagonist are kept in a notebook that no one else will read or notice. It can also be inspiring, if you choose to interpret it as Bette holding on to the belief that she herself - not a character that she plays, but herself as a person - is important, even if no one else notices. Again, it can be this and that or both or none or all at once!

Or Baby Blue's monologue!

People at school once called me... Umm, how do you say that word? Ah... Crazy! Sad? I'm not sad... They told me that the most outstanding people were all crazy...

Yes, this can be sad, because we're talking about a 17 year old girl who was so disillusioned with her real life that she feels more comfortable in a world of illusion, while her real body remains comatose. And yes, this can be happy, because we're talking about a 17 year old girl who found a place that she truly feels alive in, where she finally has peope who understand and care for her.

I think I might've lost the point of the post somewhere through the rambling - but yeah! I don't like to think of these voicelines as just sad bits, especially with how much detail and attention the writing of R1999 has, all the love they put into all characters <3

#not a prompt #reverse 1999

[theswordwizard]

screenshotting for use instead of forcing them to see hella tags but as someone who has a constant background of narration around special interests going on in their head which eventually will start to run out of "canon compliant" possibilities and start experimenting with crossovers: this is why I struggled for a bit to do a coherent plotty crossover between daredevil and nbc's hannibal. this is another rambling "for me and literally two other people with my interests and way too interested in meta-compliancy" post:

basically: daredevil and nbc's hannibal have conflicting main themes in ways where they don't as easily synthesize into a new coherent theme. nbc hannibal basically amounts to: what does it take for a person to become a 'monster,' or otherwise transform into a version of themselves that would be a terrifying stranger to them previously. and it sort of frames it as... not necessarily a power fantasy, but it frames trauma as something powerfully transformative. you become a version of yourself that can survive/thrive/take control in the hell you've ended up in. you will surprise yourself what you are capable of doing when it's your only option. but at the same time, its a sort of "succumbing" to your situation.

daredevil is almost antithetical to this. matt's whole thing can kinda be summed up as "even after everything, it's still you." you can go through any amount of trauma and still be able to recognize yourself after. you can stick to your principles even when pushed to the limit and come out alive, and being able to do so is important. he IS his principles, and even though he constantly falls short of himself, his struggle is a definitive trait of his. whenever he starts to abandon his principles is always tied to him losing his sense of self.

he cannot win (in the long run) if he abandons who he is, even if it's only an internal struggle. it's especially prevalent in the comics where basically whenever he abandons his principles he has a bit of a flip-out and tries to abandon "matt murdock" entirely, and then struggles to maintain whatever new identity he takes and has a whole identity crisis/mental breakdown. his strength is his stubbornness and refusal to remain fallen from his standard of self.

so obviously, one of these themes need to bend so far it breaks when put together. put matt in range of the BAU/Hannibal's house and its the big book vs thin book meme. in part because matt's biggest struggles in his narratives are against structural violence and systems (not to mention... the smells...). "there's this one evil guy causing 90% of the problems" is again basically antithetical to matt's narratives, or are at the most just his weakest plots.

ALSO, a lot of the murders in hannibal get treated as combinations of three categories (by Hannibal, who I would say has the most Thematic Influence over the show): 1) they basically deserved it and they were better off being dead in whatever form than alive (mason, mischa's killer), 2) what the killer gained from their death was more important than their life (sorta the case of melissa, her death being the photo negative so will could understand the ripper), 3) their death was important to the killed person, they were only able to ascend or transcend something in their death (many of the ripper victims and general murder victims.)

Basically "agreeing" with Hannibal, or adopting his viewpoint, (or basically being 'seduced' by the story) requires viewing deaths in those three ways. It requires a sort of dissociation with the reality of a person dying in any practical matter. any death becomes metaphor and symbolic, and the symbol is more important than the ending of life, it transcends it. this also doesn't rock with matt's themes.

even if you go serial killer AU matt's relationship with violence, and the temptation of committing murder, is based around practicality. it's that killing would technically be the most efficient way of stopping someone from hurting other people ever again. it's how he could cut through the red tape and financial security that protects fisk or fisk's stand-in, the way they've manipulated systems of supposed justice to hurt people (and specifically innocents), and just end it for good. obv in cases where that does happen (by his hand or others) it again leans into the fact that there is no single bogeyman that can be killed to stop evil or whatever. if fisk dies, there is a replacement to that power vacuum, if matt steps into that role to try and control it, he fails miserably.

hannibal approaches the seduction of murder with: and it's actually awesome? while daredevil approaches it with: it won't actually help you, and it won't fix anything. you will only destroy yourself. both of the (shows at least) fixations on catholicism also have parallel approaches with hannibal encouraging you to become your own god and daredevil reminding you that you aren't. will is basically betrayed by his friends and community while matt is consistently supported by his.

ultimately, nbc hannibal is very metaphorical and artsy and pretentious (i say lovingly) while daredevil is like. How Would Superpowers Effect The Local Law Economy.

#i almost made this also about why alternia AU for daredevil would be based #but this is way too long already #and i kinda wrote a bit about it in a prev post #but basically it transforms the theme of 'how can systems of justice that tend to fail still be used to help people' #into 'what if your only system of justice was inherently evil' #WHICH IS AWESOME #daredevil #hannibal #posting this without rereading any of it i already spent too much time on this #no read more Read My Post Boy #varcahs speaks

[brekkersource]

how to use beta + trim reblogs

so! we all know about beta editor by now. for better or for worse, a lot of us are using tumblr's new beta editor, and it's likely that everyone will have no choice but to use it soon. this unfortunately means a lot of us can't use the new xkit to trim our roleplay posts. there have been a lot of posts explaining this and the benefits of xkit rewritten; this one, this one, and this one especially helped me understand what's going on. however, a lot of people still seem to be floundering around in the dark so i wanted to make a tutorial that sums up everything i've learned from other tutorials as well as my own trial and error.

if you want a step by step guide to trimming reblogs (with screenshots) as well as a brief overview of beta editor's pros and cons, keep reading.

the first step, obviously, is to switch to beta editor and install xkit rewritten. the posts linked above explain how and why so i won't go into detail here. trim reblogs is the new version of edit reblogs, and it looks like this. one of the best features is that you can use it even after posting your reply, so if something glitches or you forget to trim, you still have a chance to fix it.

once you have them, there are two different ways i've seen people use xkit rewritten to trim their posts.

1. seperate reblogs

this is, in my opinion, the best and easiest way to go about this. mun 1 makes a post, mun 2 reblogs it, and then mun 1 uses xkit rewritten to trim their original post from the thread.

however, this only works if the original post was made in beta. if you try to trim a post that was made in legacy, you get get a warning, and if you go ahead with it, it's going to glitch somehow. in my testing, my reply duplicated! which is very annoying. and despite what the warning says, repeating the trim usually does not last—even if it seems like it does at first.

2. (probably) copy and paste

this is more visually reminsicent of editable reblogs from new xkit. there might be an easier way to do this that i don't know about—if so, please let me know. the name kind of explains it all; a mun will copy and paste their partner's reply, indent it, and write their own below. then, obviously, they'll have to trim all the past reblogs of the post. this is especially good for people who like doing pretty headers or editing their partner's url to look pretty, you know what i'm talking about.

there is a glitch i have run into on my own blog a few times that i was unable to duplicate, so i've just taken a screenshot of my own blog with most of the information blanked out. if only one person if using beta, trim reblogs will still sometimes glitch and duplicate. i trimmed my reblog multiple times but every time i reloaded, my duplicated reply was back. please, please communicate with your partners. i know it's annoying and awkward but it will save everyone so much frustration. especially if you're clinging to legacy, please let your partners know so they can adjust accordingly—or consider switching to beta, even if just for that thread.

but beta is not all bad i promise

i know how frustrating this all is (i fully refused to do drafts for a few days once beta really started kicking in and new xkit stopped working for me), but i am slowly coming around to it.

tags are editable now! i cannot explain the joy i experienced when i first realized this. no more typing up a long, rambling tag only to notice a typo as soon as you've hit return. you can edit tags at any point—even when going back and editing an old post! does this mean that i have accidentally started editing a tag when i meant to move it? yes but it's worth it.

making the text small is so much easier now. no more going into html or command+option+shift! instead, it's available as an option right in between the italic and link buttons when you highlight text.

you can now edit the size and type of text very easily! this did confuse me at first when i couldn't find the indent button, but it's now in a toggle list; if you click on the regular tab when text is highlighted, there are a ton of options including indent, chat, lucille (whatever that means), bigger/biggest, and more.

however, it's not all great. but it's tumblr, what did we expect.

the most frustrating thing for me personally is that you can no longer copy and past an image link into your reply, or else the image url will be tagged on underneath it. it looks funky and isn't great if you don't want to download a million gifs. while i've just been downloading/dragging the gifs i want to use to desktop and uploading them to my reply, it's annoying to have to clean up my desktop and empty my computer's trash so i'm not wasting storage space. additionally, this does not work if the gifset is in a post rather than a page; the only option there is to copy and paste and simply put up with the image url. clicking "add image" and then pasting the image or dragging the gif from the page/post's tab into the tumblr tab and onto your reply still results in a url. if anyone has figured out a workaround for any of this please let me know; otherwise, i think we should all just agree to ignore the url if it shows up. update: thank you sm to anon for informing me of @rpclefairy's roleplay formatter! if you put the gif in their formatter, copy the source, and paste that into the post when it's in html mode, not rich text mode, the link is gone! and thanks to tumblr realizing this was annoying, if you click the little link icon that appears when you hover over an image, delete the url, and hit done so it saves, the url will be gone!

formatting is......weird now. if you make your paragraph text small and then decide to add another sentence, the new text won't be small. you'll have to edit it again. text that has been formatted (small, italic, bold, etc) will be highlighted in a very strange way when the cursor is in the formatted section. as far as i've been able to figure out, even after poking around a bit in the html, there's no way to change any of this. not to sound like a broken record here, but if you've found a way to change any of this, please let me know. otherwise i think we just have to put up with this bullshit.

there's always a chance that these things will be fixed; it is still just a beta system after all. for now, i think the best thing the community can do is communicate with partners, ask questions, and just accept that there's gonna be some weird shit going on and we're all doing our best.

if any of this changes i will update this post, but in the meantime, pls share if this helped or you want to share the word. and for the last time, if i've gotten anything wrong, just let me know and i'll update.

#rpc #rp community #rp help #rph #tumblr beta #tumblr beta tutorial #xkit rewritten #tumblr rp help #rpt #idk how to tag this lmao #also i truly have no idea if this will be helpful to anyone #or if i'm just outing myself as a dumbass #if so pls just ignore lmao #also!! this is in no way an attack on people still using legacy #i'm autistic i get it #m*

[comfort-writing]

Crayons and Cassettes

Chapter 12: Girls Day

You are a kindergarten teacher. Eddie’s daughter, Sage, is in your class. The rumor mill around Hawkins begins to spiral. Sage goes to the movies.

warnings: this fic is 18+ in previous and future chapters- minors DNI!! no use of y/n. (please let me know if I missed anything)

a/n: sorry for not updating yesterday- I wanted to take a little break. I hope this longer fluffy chapter makes up for it. let me know in the comments or my asks if you want to be added to the tag list! requests are open!

word count: 5.2k

Chapter 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 (coming soon!)

When you got a phone call from Robin asking if you wanted to hang out with her, you immediately took her up on her offer.

You were really looking forward to just having some one on time time with a friend. Although you’d definitely been welcomed into the little group, having an invitation to just hang out one on one made you feel like you really belonged.

Robin came over and watched you do your makeup, watching carefully so she could try to replicate parts of it. You taught her how to do the eyeliner look she liked too; there was a small mishap, however, it was nothing a makeup wipe and a little concealer couldn’t fix.

Once you were ready, the two of you piled into her car and she drove you into town. You stopped at some diner, a place called Benny’s, and the two of you squeezed into a booth that had probably seen better days.

“What have you been up to since I saw you at Steve’s?” You asked her, curious to know if anything exciting happened.

She shrugged, “Well, not much. I mainly did laundry and worked. But,” she said, lowering her voice to a whisper after scanning the restaurant to see if anyone was listening, “a new girl started at work, and oh my god, she is so pretty.” She smiled.

You raised an eyebrow, “Ooh.. do you think she’s…?” You asked.

“I don’t know- that’s the problem. She just moved here from Chicago. Said she and her” she added air quotes, “‘partner’ broke up and she needed a change of scenery. Why she moved here I literally cannot fathom, but I don’t know.”

“Hey, I moved here for the exact same reason. It’s a good place- not expensive, plenty of jobs.. but that’s beside the point.” You rambled, “Did she like, say partner in a casual way, or like she was trying to not say another word?” You asked, leaning in and keeping your voices quiet.

“I-“ Robin was quickly interrupted by a scrawny high school age kid who wore the Benny’s uniform, asking what you guys wanted to order.

Once he was out of earshot, Robin leaned back in and whispered, “Like I said, I really don’t know. But she totally has a vibe about her.”

“A vibe?” You asked, a little confused.

“Yeah, dude.” She chuckled, “Like, she has a septum piercing and streaks of pink in her hair. I mean, you’ve at least got to break a few social norms to do that.”

You considered it for a moment, “Yeah, I guess so. But listen, I don’t want you to get your hopes up too much.” You said quietly. “I don’t want you to get hurt- emotionally or physically.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be careful. You forget I’ve been doing this for a while.” She chuckled. Robin had grown out of her awkwardness a bit as she’d aged, though there were definitely still traces of it in the way she would talk to loud when she was excited or would say something a little off topic because her mind ran faster than her mouth. It was endearing, though.

The teenager came back with your drinks; you’d ordered both ordered waters as well as milkshakes. You played it safe and got cookies and cream, while Robin ordered some strawberry-blueberry-chocolate-banana-peanut butter monstrosity. She smiled, “I’ve been coming here since high school, and I have perfected my milkshake order. You’ve got to try it.”

You wrinkled your nose at the thought, “Sorry, Robin, but I would probably die from all the sugar in that thing.” You laughed.

She shrugged and took a sip, smiling at the taste of the weirdly dark green liquid. You had no idea how it ended up that color, but you really didn’t want to know.

“How’s Eddie?” She asked, changing the subject from her love life to yours.

“He’s good. I haven’t been able to see him since you have, which kinda stinks. He’s been working a lot. I was thinking about stopping by the record store tomorrow just to drop in and say hi, but Sage goes there and hangs out while he works, so I don’t know if he’d be okay with it.” You sighed. You missed him.

“Does he not want you around her?” She inquired.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. But we just kinda want to know where we’re at before bringing her into it. It’s not easy on a little kid to see their parent with someone new, you know?” You informed her, sympathetic to Sage’s feelings.

“Well, how do you feel about it all?” She asked.

You furrowed your brows, a little confused, “What do you mean?”

“Like, you know… how do you feel about keeping the two of you apart from the two of them? If you and Eddie do end up working out… have you thought about what you would be to Sage?” She asked.

You’d been so caught up in being worried about Sage’s feelings that you really hadn’t considered your own at that point. You pondered the possibilities for a moment, sipping on your milkshake. “Well… I mean, I’m okay with keeping it from Sage for a while. I think that’s normal for anyone who has kids, you know? Making sure your relationship is sound before introducing the concept to a child… and I really haven’t thought about what I would be to Sage..”

“Would you ever want to be her step-mom?” She asked, “That’s kind of the end goal there.”

You hummed and focused on the black and white liquid in your glass, “I-I don’t know. I don’t think I’m against it at all, but I don’t know if I’d be a good mom. Like, yeah, I know I’m good with kids, but I’ve always kind of approached them in almost a scientific way, if that makes sense? I know there’s a method to how you should talk and interact with them, at least in a school setting, in order to help them learn and grow. But I am really only trained for kids 6 and below. And I just… worry, I guess, about like.. messing her up or something.” You sighed, your insecurities showing a bit.

Robin reached her hand across the table and patted your arm, “Dude, you are like, the most motherly non-mom I’ve ever met. I’m positive you’d be good at it. Yeah, you’d make some mistakes, but every parent does. And I’m willing to bet that Eddie and Sage would help you through the process of figuring it all out.” She smiled.

“I guess so… but that’s probably years down the line before that would actually happen, so at least I’ve got time to get used to the idea.” You chuckled.

The waiter came back with your food, and you and Robin dug in. As you ate your french fries, a familiar face walked into the door: Mrs. Robinson, the other kindergarten teacher. She spotted you and you waved. She smiled and walked over to your table.

“Hey, Mrs. Robinson.” You greeted, smiling and cordial. “This is my friend, Robin.” You said, chuckling at the similar names.

“Oh, I know Robin.” She hummed, “She was one of my students years ago.” She’d definitely aged from the time Robin had been in her class, but she still looked and dressed the same. “And you can just call me Anne outside of work.”

Robin smiled up at her, “Nice to see you again.”

“Care to join us?” You asked, trying to be polite.

“Oh, thank you, but my husband is on his way here.” She smiled, then you saw it falter for a moment, “But I do have something to ask you.”

You raised an eyebrow, scooting over so she could sit next to you in the booth, “What is it?” You asked, having no clue as to what she could possibly ask you about.

“Well, I heard a rumor.. and I really just wanted to clear the air about it. I have no doubt in my mind that it’s not true, but I just wanted to confirm with you.” She said, waving her hand dismissively at the idea.

“What did you hear?” You asked, having a sinking feeling you knew where this was going.

“Well,” she started, clothing her purse close to her and leaning in, “I heard that you and that Eddie Munson boy were dating.” She chuckled, “Ridiculous, right? You wouldn’t go out with a boy like that- he’s not.. well, he’s from the wrong side of the tracks, literally.”

You felt Robin’s eyes on you, and you could practically feel her anger bubble, but you decided to keep it simple and professional.

“Oh, actually, Anne, I am. Dating Eddie, that is.” You smiled warmly, though you kind of wanted to punch her in the leg for how rude she’d been about it.

She looked utterly scandalized. “What?” She asked, clutching her purse in her lap, “Why- why would you ever do that, dear? Is your head screwed on straight?” She’d dropped her usually pretentious manner at this point, while you remained, outwardly, cool as a cucumber.

“Well, he’s a good man.” You said, slightly emphasizing the last word to correct her use of the word ‘boy’. “He has a good job, he just bought a home, and he is kind to everyone around him. I don’t see how that’s a bad thing.” You stated simply.

She sighed, grabbing your hand and holding it desperately. You wanted to smack it away, but you refrained, “Dear, he’s bad news.. he got a girl pregnant during his third repeat of senior year in high school. He notoriously deals drugs, he listens to that awful devil-worshiper music, he’s got these horrendous tattoos, and I mean, you’ve seen the way he dresses…and I heard that he was the leader of some Satanic-cult when he was younger.” She pleaded. “I don’t know how that precious baby girl hasn’t been taken from his home- it’s not safe.”

The longer the list became, the more agitated you felt, but you couldn’t let it show. If you made a scene, you’d only spur the rumors on. You took a deep breath, “Anne, he is a good man.” You reiterated, “Sure, he may have an eclectic sense of fashion and off-beat music taste, but that’s really all there is to it. He’s not a drug dealer, I like his tattoos, and the so-called ‘cult’ you’re referring to is just a storytelling game. It’s quite dorky, if I’m being honest.” You chuckled. “Plus, he is an amazing dad. He provides everything for Sage- she literally has anything she could ever want. And he’s involved. He came to every parent teacher conference, every recital, and he read to her every night to ensure she was excelling in school. He does a great job with her, and honestly, I think it’s a shame that more people done see that.” You paused for a moment before continuing, “You judge him based on his outward appearance and silly rumors you hear around town. But, if you had an actual conversation with him, you’d know that he is kind and genuine and absolutely hilarious.” You felt Robin smile with pride at your sentiments. “It’s quite foolish to think that anyone is not worth more than what you’ve heard about them, don’t you think?”

Mrs. Robinson shook her head and let your hand go, moving to get up, “I’m only trying to help you out, dear.”

“I appreciate that, but I can take care of myself.” You said coolly. “I’ll see you in our professional development workshop in two weeks.” You said, smiling like none of this phased you.

She left to go sit with her husband, and you looked over at Robin. “Woah, dude.. you’re like, the most level headed person I’ve ever met.” She mused.

Your smile turned strained, “Well I’m not about to be. Let’s go so I can say some choice words about what just occurred.” You said through gritted teeth.

Robin smiled and nodded quickly, digging cash out of her purse and slamming it on the table as the two of you got up from the table.

Once her car was out of the parking lot and onto the main road, your hands were flying around in the air as you yelled, Robin cackling in the drivers seat.

“What the absolute fuck was her problem?! First of all, how is it any of her business who I choose to be with? I don’t give a fuck about her old bag of a husband, so why should she care what I do outside of school? Secondly, how the hell can she just judge someone based off of shifty rumors that were spread about him fucking years ago! Like, how fucking shallow can you be! Lastly, how dare she have the nerve to sit there and call Eddie a bad dad! He’s literally one of the best parents out there, hands down. Ugh, I want to show her Sage’s scores alone compared to her entire class just to shove that shit in her face!”

Robin laughed, “Yeah, literally what was her problem?” She asked, “And oh my god, you should have seen her fucking face when you said you two were going out! She looked like you’d shit in her cereal!” She cackled. “And how were you so calm? Oh my god you should take up acting! You have an amazing talent there- you should really capitalize on it!”

You groaned, “Well if I was even the slightest bit rude to her, she could’ve confirmed that he was like, ‘ruining me’, or whatever else she and her friends talk about when they gawk at the freshly eighteen lifeguards at the pool.” That made Robin laugh so hard to the point where she had to pull over in a random parking lot so she wouldn’t crash her car. “She also could’ve come for my job somehow. So I really wanted to kill her with kindness. Really let her choke on it.”

“Hell yeah, man” Robin said, holding her sides as you joined her laughter. “But seriously, you should’ve seen her face when you didn’t give her any sort of a reaction. She looked like she was going to explode.”

The two of you howled in her car, eventually dying down and wiping stray tears and hiding your sore stomachs. Once the two of you recovered, you guys looked up and saw that you were actually in the parking lot of the record store and that Eddie was in the window, staring at the both of you with the most bewildered look on his face. He looked like a lost puppy, raising an eyebrow and cocking his head to the side. You and Robin made eye contact again, paused for a moment, then bursted out into peals of laughter yet again.

Since he’d already spotted the two of you, you both d decided to head inside the store. You got out of the car, shut the door, and linked your arm with Robin’s as the two of you walked in, still giggling.

“What is going on with you two?” Eddie asked, your laughter infecting him and making him chuckle.

“Sorry- it’s really not funny.” Robin sighed, “It’s actually kinda shitty, but it’s ridiculous, so it’s a little funny.”

You nodded, releasing Robin’s arm so she could go look around the store while you turned to Eddie to explain. “My coworker, Mrs. Robinson, you remember her?” You asked.

Eddie nodded.

“Well, Robin and I went to Benny’s. She walked in and criticized my choice in men, essentially.. Were really laughing at how I basically stone faced my way through it and she looked like she was going to shit her pants.” You sighed, rubbing a hand through your hair.

“Oh..” he whispered, sticking his hands in his pockets, looking a little dejected.

“I defended you, though, I swear.” You assured him, reaching out to grab his forearm gently. “I didn’t just like, let her bad mouth you. I just kind of… told her off with a smile on my face.”

Eddie shook his head quickly, “Oh, I have no doubt that you did that. I just-“ he placed his hand over the one you’d placed on his arm, “I hate that you’re catching flack for this. Hawkins isn’t an easy town for the unconventional.” He whispered, looking a little sad.

You raised an eyebrow, “Eddie, my skin is thicker than you think. I can put up with a lot of shit. And I really don’t care what other people think, as long as we’re good.” Your hand dropped from his arm to his hand, “The literal only reason I waited was because of my job. Hawkins’ opinion of me is irrelevant.”

He sighed and nodded, leaning in and kissing your forehead gently, “You’re kind of a badass.” He mumbled into your hair.

Robin overheard that statement and smiled, “Hell yeah she is, man. You should’ve seen her- so calm and relaxed while also ripping that old fart a new one. It was great.”

You laughed, leaning into Eddie‘s touch for a moment before he had to get back to work. “Hope you don’t mind we stopped in. We weren’t planning on it.”

He waved a hand dismissively as he went back to alphabetizing records, “You guys are always welcome.”

“Is Sage here?” You asked in a whisper.

He nodded, “She’s in the break room in the back. I’m sure she’ll run out here soon- she’s almost finished with her snack. I bet she’ll be happy to see you guys. The poor girl has been so bored all day, I just can’t exactly give her much to do.”

You nodded and started walking around the store, deciding to get some music while you were there. You peeled over to Robin’s stack of cassettes, which consisted of the usual pop stuff you’d hear on the radio.

It didn’t take long for Sage to wander out of the back of the store. She first ran to Eddie, who pointed to you and Robin, whispering something you couldn’t hear. She beamed and ran over to where the two of you stood, yelling your names and pulling Robin’s legs into a bear hug before doing the same to your own.

“Hey, kiddo!” Robin smiled, “How ya doin’?”

“I’m so booorrreeeddd.” Sage groaned, tossing her head back dramatically. She looked just like her dad in that moment and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“I’m sorry, Sage.” You sighed, “But, I might have something you can do.”

She picked her head up and eyed you suspiciously, “What?”

You crouched down to her level, “I need help finding some good music. Can you help me pick some stuff out?” You asked, Robin chiming in a short, “Me too.”

Sage beamed, excited to have a mission to complete. She grabbed one of yours and one of Robin’s hands enthusiastically and led you two through the store, pointing at the sections she liked, which mostly consisted of kids records. You guys played along, picking up records and examining each one and making a show out of either putting them in your pile or wrinkling your nose and putting them back, making her laugh.

You were so focused that you didn’t notice how Eddie had lost his focus. His eyes trained on you as you humored his daughter, helping her combat her boredom. The corners of his mouth twitched into a small smile, his chest swelling with a mixture of pride and joy. He loved that the two of you were friends.

Robin spotted him while you were busy making Sage giggle by holding a record up to the light like you were inspecting a dollar bill. She smirked at him, seeing how he was watching you, causing a blush to bloom across his cheeks and making him whip his head back to his work quickly.

Robin turned back to you and whispered something in your ear, and you smiled and nodded at the idea. She then walked up to Eddie, clapping him on the back, causing him to jump a little.

“Hey buddy old pal.” She chuckled.

Eddie sighed and looked down at the girl, having a feeling she was up to something, “What do you want, Buckley?” He deadpanned.

She laughed loudly, “Oh shut up, I’m trying to help you.” She took a beat before nudging him, “You want us to take Sage off your hands for a couple hours? We were planning on going to see a movie later, so we could take Sage with us so she doesn’t have to sit around here all day. It would be a great way for the two of them to bond too.”

Eddie thought about it for a moment, wishing that he could’ve been the one going with the two of you instead of Robin. “Yeah, sure. Just- we aren’t telling Sage about us yet, so could you please be on your best behavior?” He asked her.

She smiled and nodded before spinning on her heel and going back over to you, nodding her head like a little kid who’d just been told they could have a sleepover. You smiled and continued searching the store with her.

After you’d been convinced to buy a couple random cassettes by Sage, you walked over to Eddie hand in hand with his daughter, “Hey, we’re ready to check out.” You smiled.

Eddie turned and nodded, heading to the register and trying not to get flustered by your smile and how you interacted with his daughter. He’d tried to date in the past, but everyone had quickly bolted when they’d heard about his kid. So seeing you embrace her, while also liking him, felt like some kind of miracle.

You placed your items on the counter and picked up Sage and placed her there as well, “So, dad, can Sage come with us to the movies?” You asked, acting like she was one of the girls. “We’ll only let her have all the popcorn and candy and soda she could ever want.”

Sage’s eyes lit up and she looked at Eddie excitedly, “Please?” She asked, giving him her best puppy-dog eyes. You copied her face, trying not to giggle.

He looked between the two of you, “You guys are going to be the death of me.” He chuckled, “But sure, Sage. You can go. We’ll just have to make sure we brush your teeth extra good before bed, okay?”

She nodded and smiled like it was Christmas morning, squealing and hugging you. You smiled and patted her back, watching Eddie put your items in a paper bag. She released you and you leaned over the counter, resting your elbows on the cool surface, “You want me to drop her off at your house after?” You asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, I get off work at 6, so I should be home by the time the movie gets out.” He handed you your bag and Robin walked up to purchase her items as well.

Once the two of you had everything, Robin picked up the bags and you picked up Sage, holding her on your hip like you’d been doing so for years. Eddie wanted to pull you into a kiss right then, but he knew better. That would’ve really confused Sage.

Robin smiled, “Well, thanks for letting us kidnap your child. We’ll be sure to spoil her so she won’t sleep tonight.” She joked.

The two of you walked back out to her car, and you buckled Sage into the back seat. “Oh, I think I forgot something inside. I’ll be right back.” You smiled before closing her door and walking into the shop. Robin knew exactly what you were doing, but she turned and talked to Sage to keep her occupied until you came back.

You walked back into the empty record shop and Eddie looked at you from the counter, “Hey- everything okay?” He asked. You smiled and walked behind the counter, then grabbed his hand and dragged him to the back room, which made him raise his eyebrows raise in shock, “What are you do-“

Once you were out of the field of view of the parking lot, you pulled Eddie down to kiss you. He was a bit surprised at first, but after a moment, he leaned into it and kissed you back, his arms wrapping around your waist.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and he pulled you close, melting into your presence. After a moment, he broke the kiss slowly and looked down at you, a little starstruck, “What was that about?” He asked, smiling against your lips, neither of you having backed away.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. I like you.” You whispered, making eye contact with him and keeping him close.

He hummed, “I don’t either. And I like you too.” He leaned in once more and kissed you again, humming against your lips before you two separated, stepping back. “By the way, totally unfair that Sage gets a movie date before I do.”

You chuckled, “Our first date was a movie.”

“Yeah, but there wasn’t movie theatre popcorn.”

“Well I’m free this weekend if you want to go.”

He nodded and pecked you one more time before you turned and walked out, Eddie smacking your ass lightly as you walked away, causing you to giggle and roll your eyes as you left the store.

The ride to the theatre was filled with terrible singing, as Robin insisted on cranking up the radio and rolling the windows down. Once you guys pulled into the movie theatre parking lot, you helped Sage get out and the two of you held her hands, lifting her up and swinging her as you walked into the theatre.

You guys picked a child appropriate movie to watch, bought the tickets, then raided the concession stand, buying way more snacks than the three of you could consume within a 2 hour window. You found your seats and got comfy, passing the popcorn bucket between the three of you, Sage in the middle and having to use both hands, as the thing was half her size.

The movie started and Sage was transfixed, giggling at the obvious jokes while you and Robin chuckled at the jokes they included for the adults in the room. When she’d had her fill of the snacks, Sage sighed and leaned against you, resting her little head on your arm. You moved it and allowed her to rest on your side as you wrapped an arm around her.

You looked over at Robin, who’d noticed the sweet scene, and smiled softly. She gave you a subtle thumbs up and turned her attention back to the screen.

Eventually, Sage fell asleep against you, her head having slowly drifted to your lap with tired eyes. You played with her hair as she slept, and you and Robin sat through the rest of the movie, whispering “that’s what she said” every time the joke could’ve been set up.

Once the credits rolled, you slowly moved and picked Sage up, letting her sleep as you walked out to the car. You had to rouse her when you got in, though, as she needed to sit up so you could buckle her in. She whined, but complied, sleepy and rubbing her eyes.

The ride over to Eddie’s was quiet, the radio playing softly as you watched Hawkins pass outside of the window. Robin pulled into Eddie’s driveway and you suddenly realized that you hadn’t been to his house yet.

Sage had fallen asleep again in the backseat, so you slowly got her out, telling Robin that you had it- don’t worry. She stayed in the car as you walked to the front door and knocked, rubbing Sage’s back as you waited for him to answer.

Eddie opened the door and saw his baby girl asleep in your arms. The sight made his knees feel a little weak. “Hey.” He whispered, stepping aside to let you in.

You smiled and walked into his house. It was cozy. There weren’t many decorations, but there was a killer music collection in the living room, bookshelves lined with cassettes and records and CDs, along with a few different ways to play the music. An acoustic guitar sat in the corner, covered in sparkly princess stickers, courtesy of Sage. A bin of toys sat beside the couch, and Sage had apparently set up a stuffed animal tea party at the bar in the kitchen. You really wouldn’t have expected anything else. It was perfect.

“Sorry it’s kind of a mess.” He whispered.

You shook your head, “It’s fine.” You adjusted Sage on your hip, “Where’s her room? I can just go lay her down.”

He led you down a hallway and to a room that looked like a rainbow sparkle unicorn barfed in it. It was so cute. You laid Sage down in her little bed before you and Eddie snuck out. You stretched as the two of you walked back to the living room, “You have a good day at work?” You asked, raising your arms above your head and stretching your back.

“Yeah. The usual, I guess. Seeing you was nice.” He smiled, reaching over and placing a hand on your waist, “Thank you for taking Sage. She was so bored. I feel bad- I really can’t afford a regular babysitter during the summers, so I just take her with me. There’s a tv and stuff in the break room, but having to entertain yourself for that long when you’re five years old is not easy.”

You nodded, “Of course, Eddie. I love hanging out with her.” You hummed, “And if she’s ever bored again, you can always call me and I can take her for the day.”

“You don’t have to do that.” He said softly.

“Yeah, I don’t. But Sage is a fun kid. Plus it’ll get me out of the house. I feel like I’m rotting in there.” You joked.

He chuckled, “Thank you.” He whispered before pulling you in for a hug. You hugged him back, taking in how he smelled: dust from the record store, a stale cigarette, coffee, and cologne mixed into an interesting and intoxicating smell that was distinctly him. You backed out of the hug, then looked down the hallway to ensure Sage wasn’t walking down it before leaning up and kissing him sweetly.

“I’ll see you this weekend?” You asked, looking hopeful.

He nodded, “Of course. I can’t wait.” He smiled.

You nodded and left his house, piling back into Robin’s car and driving off, feeling warm and fuzzy all over. Maybe you could let yourself start to think about the future a little more.

Tag List: @mcueveryday @bebe0701 @emma77645 @edsforehead @manda-panda-monium @nina211544 @wendyfawcett @whisperinthewoods07

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things #dad!eddie munson #dad!eddie munson x reader #singledad!eddie munson #singledad!eddie munson x reader #em #slow burn #strangers to friends to lovers #fanfic #teacher!reader #eddie x reader

[ruiimellowww]

Okay HI hello 👋👋

I saw ur art about Sun & Moon through a reblog and I am such a simp for those two omg so here's a rant :33

(Also if you're not comfy with this pls ignore this rant then, and I am so sry if that is the case!! Will stop immediately if you tell me to /srs)

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CAN I JUST SAY I am sosososososo in love with your desgin for the dca cuz holy shit I have never seen anything hotter. O.O LIKEEE THE HUMANOID VERSION??!?!!?? UGH soooo goooodd 🥵🥵 I love the designs and the- the little EARRINGS as well?!??! Omg sooooo cutee aaaaaa 💞💞

and-and omigosh UR ART IS SO GOOD AS WELL!?!? I straight up just wanna munch it. I am eating ur art fr. In LOVE with ur artstyle it's so yummy 😍

Anywhoooo I also scrolled through your dca tag aND *GASP* ECLIPSE?????? 😍😍AND I?? WANNA??? BE ENVELOPED????? BY HIMM??? (I feel like mans would give THE BEST cuddles on the planet!!!)

HOLLLYYYY SHITTTT thE SIZEEEEEEE

Big tall omigoshhhhhhHHH M- my brain- my heart my- mY EVERYThIng is mELTING! ! ! ! ! Literally his size just does something to me I cannot comprehend why omigosh

(*lays in a puddle on the floor*)

I can imagine sosososo many different scenarios where that height could be used aaaaa >~< <333 ;P

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Omg if you have any HCs (and *wanna* share, ofc.) about him (Or about Sun & Moon) I'd love to listen to you ramble about them??? <333

So curious about ur HCs & would absolutely love any crumbs about the dca ksskksskkdkdjdks ❤️😂

Uhm uhm first off, thank you so much I can't rlly put into words how sweet this is and I totally don't mind the rambles because me too. And also because its been YEARS since I last used Tumblr or did anything answering Ask is a bit tough for me.. MmMM

Although I don't have many HC at the moment.. I can however give you a little insight I have regarding my Human DCA :]

Moondrop (Moon) and Sundrop

- when I first designed Moon (after the game came out) he had a much wilder look to him, especially the face because I was really into the idea of him being simply insane hence the red.

- later when i got back to his design and adding colours I thought that it would be fun to make it Blue and white themed, which I actually didn't see a lot back then

- he wasn't supposed to look human even as a Humanoid, I liked to think that Sun & Moon simply had a renovated body. They are just as much Animatronics as they had always been, robotic parts and everything but with a bit of twist

- So then onto Sun.. the thing is its sad to say but I never explored much with Sun's design back then as much as I did with Moon, so I can't provide a good reference

- although I had a rough idea of how sun would look like I never quite liked the way I drew him, so he's always somewhat been stuck in this unfinished stage

- Then there was eclipse, who was my absolute FAVORITE at that time, I don't think I loved a character MORE THAN ECLIPSE EVER when I was drawing him out

- yes!! It was very much inspired by the 3D render shown here as the ref, though I did make some changes of my own to the design as well

- I had a lot in my head when I was drawing him, but the one thing that I loved most about this design still to thisq day is rhe face. The way I him to look back then was sort of a mix between my Sun and Moon designs, only leaning more towards Sun in colours and Moon in appearance with the crazed look in his eyes

The height was just a funny little thing I thought of, cuz imagine this giant fkn ahh robot just comes in here and picks you up 💀 god I would piss myself

Cough..

So in regards to the new design, I did kind of get rid of the animatronic feel to him that I had done with the DCA and his old design, all of them now look a whole lot more Human which is what I intended for

Eclipse has a few scars around his body; right forearm, left side of his torso that leads all the way up to his chest. Plus a bit of his face that is burnt which you can't exactly see because of the Black spots

Overall I like my newer designs quite a lot and has also changed a lot, this is probably the most insight you'll get out of me abt my art 😭😭 cuz I don't usually ramble this much otherwise

I might come up with some head canons at a later date, but they'll be fun thats for sure ;)

#rants n rambles #ruiis art #digital art #fnaf security breach #humanoid #moondrop #sundrop #eclipse #eclipse fnaf #fnaf daycare attendant #DCA

[pastafossa]

10 Characters ❆ 10 Fandoms ❆ 10 Tags

Thank you to @farfromstrange, @shouldbestudying41, and @bellaxgiornata for the tags! I had to think about this one for a bit. I'm going to try to avoid shared universes/fandoms otherwise this list would be 50% Marvel

1. Matt Murdock - Daredevil. If you could put a ring on a hyperfixation, this is the one I'd pick. My favorite of all characters (surprising precisely no one considering the word count of TRT), he's my comfort character, and it's a fandom I return to again and again ever since I first jumped in in 2015.

2. Din Djarin - The Mandalorian. This was the show, ironically, that kicked off my Pedro Pascal obsession - I'd seen him in other things and liked him but for some reason didn't realize they were all the same person. I love Din's character, he's my taciturn shiny space cowboy, bless him, I want to give his poor back massage after carrying all that armor.

3. The Tenth Doctor - Doctor Who. I still remember flipping through channels when I was younger and stopping on some weird show that had a giant Satan guy being yelled and monologued at by a messy-haired man in an orange jumpsuit (this part here specifically). I had no idea what was going on but I just couldn't stop watching Ten as he rambled and talked himself around. Turned out there was a marathon on so I just kept watching, loved him (and David) ever since.

4. Leslie Knope - Parks and Rec. Leslie feels like someone took a section of my soul and then made a parody of her but it's so close to reality no one's entirely sure if it is a parody, 10 STARS OF 10.

5. Garrus Vakarian (along with F!Commander Shepard, because there is no Shepard without Vakarian) - Mass Effect. This is the greatest game in existence and I love this dorky awkward sweetheart of a space raptor and my Commander Shepard and their romance and their banter, everyone leave me alone I'm emotional about this

6. Alistair Theirin - Dragon Age. He is my snarky lil sensitive warden boy, my first real intro to game romance and bioware games in general, I love him your honor

7. John Constantine - Constantine. YOU HAD THE PERFECT ACTOR FOR HIM AND YA'LL BLEW IT, BRING HIM BACK, HE WAS THE EMBODIMENT OF CONSTANTINE, ALSO I LOVE THIS WRETCHED SNARKY CON ARTIST DUMPSTER FIRE OF A MAN

8. Rick and Evie - The Mummy. They are a pair that cannot be separated, they are marriage goals, THEY ARE PERFECTION, I NEED NO OTHER REASONS, HE FUCKING GAVE HER THE ARCHAEOLOGY TOOLS

9. Xena - Xena. I feel like you if you mapped all of my fandom experience back through my life, you'd eventually get back to me as a kid watching Xena which was 70% camp and 100% fucking AMAZING, also I FUCKING TOLD YOU DIANA, I TOLD YOU XENA AND GABRIELLE FUCKING LIKE LIKED EACH OTHER, ARE YOU LISTENING DIANGA ARRE YOU LISTENING YOU BTICH YOU MADE FUN OF ME BUT I TOLD YOU

10. Ellen Ripley - Alien/Aliens. RIPLEY MY BELOVED, RIPLEY MY DARLING, RIPLEY MY BADASS QUEEN, I have absolutely included tiny shades of her in my own fem characters, I fucking ADORE her

No pressure tags: @wonderlandmind4 @kiwwia-wiwwia @becks-things @ancientbeing10 @bunnelbie @peterman-spideyparker @1988-fiend and anyone else who wants to!

#tags games #i had to think about this one for a bit #and pick some that i haven't mentioned as often #give some of my other babies some love!

[miraakulous-cloud-district]

WIP whenever

Hello, everyone! I know updates are very slow, but life is absolutely draining me of my writing mojo most days. But!!! I did some writing, just in time for it to still count as a WIP Wednesday! And I've been tagged by the lovelies @bostoniangirl21 and @sheirukitriesfandom Thank you very much for the tags and for keeping me motivated with them <3!!! I must say that working on ch. 17 of WYGTYA is hard because it's by far the most serious, angst-filled thing I've written so far :(((

I'll tag @dirty-bosmer @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @illumiera @thelavenderelf @blossom-adventures @nerevar-quote-and-star only if you want to participate, of course <3 <3 But enough rambles! I will share a bit from both fics under the cut! WYGTYA feels and banter with another appearance from that mysterious Akaviri swordsman in HOTHS! Enjoy!

Wherever you go, there you are, chapter 17:

~

The noise of the city was still dim, the people of the port already tuning in to either a night of much-needed sleep or raucous drinking at the taverns, and so the port is quiet, peaceful, the only sounds filling the air are the soothing waves of the Sea of Ghosts and the distant noises of the city ahead of them. Blacklight. Full of its magical charm and dancing lights and colourfulness. Ravonna’s steps falter because the air smells like home once again: it is not damp and moist like Black Marsh, nor is it the warm and flowery smells of Cyrodiil, nor the harsh, cold, yet fresh air of Skyrim. It smells like ash and sea salt and flavored tobacco from shishas and that distinct smell of cloth paint that Dunmer use. She can hear the faint hum of Red Mountain, the distant bards singing in taverns, the loud laughter of the people in the city and the soft, hushed giggles of sailors who cannot sleep but don’t want to wake their crew up and they’re all so frustratingly, Gods-damned oblivious to her thundering heart and the violent lightning strikes that hit her soul with each step, each breath, each second spent here again. Fuck, she should be happy, excited, but everything hurts and this bad feeling that something’s not right, that something’s missing won’t go away.

~

Hymn of the High Seas, chapter 3:

~

They settle cross-legged around the small coffee table, collectively thinking that this place was not built to host so many people. Renjiro runs outside with a spring in his step.

“Sooo… I think it’s safe to assume that this guy is a big fan of swords.” Signe speaks, earning a huff from Rhaim and a knowing smile from Arvyvel. 

“That makes two of us.” Rhaim says.

“Really? I always figured you'd be more of a -” she stops to gesticulate clawing and eating an enemy in beast form, “- kind of person, ya know?” 

He looks at her for a moment before bursting into deep, earth-grumbling laughter. “Careful, you might scare away our future crewmates.”

“Me? I’m absolutely elated.” Arvyvel says.

“And I still haven’t agreed to anything! I’m not going on some suicide mission!” Marc says, annoyed.

“Fine by me. We don’t need you anyway. Don’t need your kind among us.” Rhaim flares his nostrils and breathes out aggressively.

Before Marc can say anything back, a loud, obnoxious cough interrupts them.

“I’m sorry, gentlemen, but I have to interrupt the tense moment. No fighting in this house.” Renjiro says, making his way to the table with two bottles of fresh sake. He tries to keep his calm demeanor and shove down the thoughts of ‘Yoshi will kill me if I made a mess in his absence.’

The men stop, not before glaring menacingly at each other one last time. Rhaim doesn’t like traitorous bastards and he could smell this guy’s traitorous bastard-ness from miles away. He scoots closer to Marc, turning his back to him and making Room for Renjiro between him and Signe. His eyes light up at the bottle of alcohol. The swordsman lays out five small glasses and fills them. Rhaim takes it quickly, his patience running out, taking a sip and closing his eyes to really feel the taste on his tongue, going down his throat. A pleasure grunt escapes him. It’s unlike anything he’s ever tasted: strong, but not too strong. Balanced, a cascade of flavors – a harmonious blend of sweet and dry alcohol warming his chest and his spirit.

“Fuck.” He breathes, opening his eyes, only to see everyone looking at him, with their glasses halfway up in a toast. He raises an eyebrow.

“Ye need a moment alone with that glass of booze?” Signe smirks.

~

Author's note: I could and probably *will* expand on the feelings of drinking sake because I literally found my new favourite drink in the year of our lord 2024.

#wip wednesday #tag game #wygtya #hoths

[nixytea]

at the will of the waves — y.jw x reader

pairing: yang jungwon x gn!reader

genre: love is hard for wotaku (wotakoi) au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, one-sided pining

inspired by: フィクション - sumika

summary: to pretty much everyone you know, you’re a diligent office worker. but behind closed doors? you’re what society calls an “otaku”: obsessed with manga, anime, gaming and the like. after a traumatising event, you swear to yourself you will never again let anyone find out about this side of you, but what happens when Yang Jungwon, your best friend from middle school and fellow nerd, squeezes his way into your life again and offers you something you cannot reject ?

warnings: OOC, food, weird people, mentions of insecurities, too many anime references, girlboss y/n, inaccurate gaming terminology, maybe if this were on ao3 i'd tag it dead dove do not eat for how badly this would affect my social life if anyone sees this irl

word count: 10.65k

disclaimer: to whoever has the guts to read this: here's a pair of anti-secondhand-embarrassment goggles and a tetra pack of unsee juice, strap in cuz this was written by me six months ago in my "what in the world is romance" era so uh. yeah tldr: this is gross for me to read and edit, i suggest reading it only once to spare your soul.

taglist: @drunkjazed @kange3939 @ahnneyong

track 001 : still into you - paramore track 002: disconnected - 5sos

LEVEL 000: SINGLE PRINGLE NOT READY TO MINGLE

You’ve got a feeling the universe might just hate you. Just a teeny tiny hunch.

Today’s supposed to be a fresh start for you. New job, new coworkers, new outfit -- which you totally didn’t spend two months’ worth of your salary to purchase, no way. 

So then why in the name of Eren Jaeger’s left buttcheek are you sprinting towards the train station in three-inch heels?

It’s your first day at work, you can’t afford to be late. “If i can just run a little faster-” you wheeze, frantically swinging your arms. A hiss of the doors and you’re in. “Nice, I’ll be on time at this rate,” you think to yourself. It’s the morning train, so you opt to grasp a handle dangling from the bars overhead. Relief washes over your body, relaxing your overworked calf muscles. Nothing can stop you today.

Yet as your eyes skim across a manga advertisement, you can't help but clench your free hand.

I hope no one finds out this time.

Less than ten minutes later, you find yourself in a waiting room. The door swings open, and a tall woman steps in. She doesn’t seem much older than you, yet she exudes the confidence you’ve only dreamed of having since middle school. You can't help but admire the way everything about her screams elegance and professionalism. That would’ve helped three months ago, you muse internally.

“Nice to meet you. I’m your supervisor, and I’ll be your guide for the next few weeks. We work in the same department.” She offers her hand, a graceful smile  spreading across her face. “I hope we get along well.”

You grip her palm in a firm handshake, while secretly scanning her gorgeous face. “Let’s work hard together!’

Your supervisor leads you into the hallway, briefing you as she strides along. Thoroughly engrossed in your new mentor’s advice, you only realise someone else is in the corridor when your shoulder brushes theirs ever so slightly. Yet you continue walking on after a quick apology, attention returning to -

Wait. 

You swivel around, disregarding your supervisor’s confused mumble. “Yang Jungwon?!” 

The once-fading back of your victim pauses, head lolling to his side. “Y/n?”

Your mind races in overdrive, thoughts scrambling in your head as you force your mouth to say something at all. “H-hey, Jungwon! It’s um, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Last time we met was in middle school!” Your hand lifts in a shaky wave, heart skipping at the glimpse of his familiar smirk. “It’s so unexpected! What are the odds that we’d be working here together?” Avoiding the curious gazes of your supervisor and Jungwon’s colleague, you continue rambling on. “Uhh…let’s catch up over dinner! Don’t be late!” You mentally slap yourself to shut your mouth, and breeze past the two men. Phew, that was close. You cannot let the only person who knows your darkest secret go free. Luckily you’d spotted him on your first day, or who knows-

“By the way, are you tabling at Comic Con?”

You swear you were one word away from a heart attack. “H-haha, very funny. You know I don’t do that stuff, why would you ask that? Bye now!”

“…I’m screwed.”

Eleven hours later, you find yourself at a nearby 24-hour arcade, your focus on the sparkly joystick loosened by years of manhandling.

“The bait’s been set. Passing it over to you now.” You swap places with Jungwon to finally chug your can of Calpis. “Mmmm, that’s the stuff,” you sigh happily, never tearing your eyes away from the screen, where Jungwon’s doing up the finishing touches for the claw machine. He’s always been better at these things than you, but you’d like to believe it’s because he spent more time in arcades than you did when you were kids. You were more into stupid otome games with cheesy endings.

“Got it. Told you it was possible,” Jungwon announces, the collection door swinging open to reveal a fluffy dino stuffie. “Seriously, after all these years you still need my help?”

You let out a derisive snort as you seized the plushie from his hands. “Well, you haven’t changed much either, have you? Nearly told everyone I’m an otaku on my first day. I do have a death wish, mind you.”

His smirk really is the same, you realise, as his dimples emerge as prominently as you remember. It’s actually quite endearing, though you’ll never tell him that. ‘Sorry, but I couldn’t have known you’re a closet otaku now? You used to be so blatant about it. ‘Ohmagawsh have you seen the new nyeh nyeh nyeh? The love interests are so hot I’d lick their abs.’ That’s how you sounded like, you know?”

“Stop, someone could hear us and I can say goodbye to my job!”

“Relax, no one’s here. You never used to care so much about people’s opinions, though,” he quips, reaching out to grab a piece of fried chicken. “So? What’s the tragic backstory behind your pathetically closeted fangirling?”

Your elbow accidentally collides with Jungwon’s ribs, nearly pushing him out of the high chair. “I was only like that with you. And it’s…a long story.”

“It’s also a long night.” That was how Jungwon was. Always there, always listening.

You have to take a swig of your Calpis to steel yourself, after all it’s not a story you like to tell. But he’s your best friend, and he’s the only one you’d trust with a fraction of your secret. 

“Somewhere during university, I guess the pressure to be a…normal student was pretty high. So I decided to put my uh, unorthodox hobbies into the rhetorical closet?” You pause, lips pinching as you try to avoid his questioning look. Somehow you can’t bring yourself to tell him the whole truth. A part of you begs to confide in him, because you just know he’s the only one who might understand. But…

Jungwon watches you, an emotion you can’t pinpoint brewing in his sharp eyes. “Is that all?” 

“Y-yeah. It’s a pretty good reason if you ask me.” Your tone is more defensive than you mean it to be, considering this is meant to be no more than a casual catch-up session with an old friend.

He shrugs, stare boring right through your soul. It’s funny how the guy you haven’t met for half a decade is the one who knows you best, even better than yourself. “I don’t believe you.”

And you crack. It’s surprising, really, that after so many months of holding yourself together it is Jungwon who becomes the catalyst to your spiral. Your vision melts into a blurry kaleidoscope of colours as the words fall from your lips. You tell him everything. About you falling so deeply in love with your boyfriend of three years that you plucked up the courage to tell him about your less-than-perfect lifestyle. About him asking for a breakup in a matter of minutes after the confession. About him telling everyone at your workplace, about people you once considered friends pretending you don’t exist, about being so openly mocked you have no choice but to resign and escape from a nightmare you know was created by your own two hands. And you know telling Yang Jungwon about your dirty laundry isn’t going to turn back time, isn’t going to bring your old life back, but you tell him anyway because it feels safe and right somehow. He feels safe and right.

He always has.

When your world stops spinning and you return to reality, you find yourself sinking your nails into the plushie, eyes stinging slightly, and Jungwon’s hand is on your back, palm rubbing circles into your back. You’ve gotta admit, it feels better than you thought it would. It coaxes more out of you, words you didn’t know were in you before. “I swore off telling anyone I date about being an otaku. Saves me so much more effort and heartbreak.”

He raises his eyebrows, a thin crease forming across his forehead. “What about finding an otaku partner? Saved you the heartache.”

The question instantly sobers you up, your back straightening as if you weren’t on the verge of sobbing your eyeballs out a moment ago. “Hey, that’s just weird! Besides, I’d get zero attention from them.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

The conversation evolves into something more lighthearted, and it’s like the five years between you two was never there to begin with. You spend the rest of the night basking in the waves of nostalgia, reliving the freedom of your childhood.

Hours later, Jungwon checks his wristwatch. “It’s late, I’ll walk you home. We still have work in the morning.” 

The walk to your apartment is silent, save for the whistling of the cool night breeze in the city streets. Jungwon’s footsteps are silent - he walks just like a cat, you conclude after watching him slink along your side.

“Thanks for tonight, Yang.”

“Anytime, L/n.”

You continue soaking in the peaceful atmosphere, knowing tomorrow will be a hectic work day. Such a night is hard to come by, but maybe with Jungwon around, things’ll be more fun?

“…me?”

“Hm?” You turn to ask him what he said, but he beats you to it.

“What about me?”

You stare at him in confusion. “What about…you?”

“You said you wouldn’t tell your partner about being an otaku. Then what about me as a partner? I’d help you clear stages in games whenever you needed, I’d support you at conventions, and I wouldn’t judge you for your interests. And while we date, I’ll teach you how to not screw up future dates. You know, some sort of friends with benefits, except the benefits aren’t the usual…you know. You can treat me as practice for relationships. Dump me whenever you find someone you actually like.” Somehow, his face remains clear of any signs of embarrassment as he oh-so boldly states something that shouldn’t seem as simple as he makes it sound.

His proposal shocks you, no doubt. He’s never shown any interest in you romantically, as far as you can remember, so he can’t possibly be hitting on you right now. Besides, Yang Jungwon is a level-headed person, and his offer doesn’t seem so bad the more you think about it.

You reach out to grip his hand in a firm handshake, watching as Jungwon fails to hide the satisfied grin spreading across his face. You’ve got a feeling your face is mirroring his too. “Deal.” 

And henceforth, your whirlwind otaku romance begins.

LEVEL 000 COMPLETE. PROCEED? >YES >NO

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

LEVEL 001: MEET THE HOMIES

You’d think getting a partner would be a life-changing experience that completely shook your world, but Jungwon just wasn’t acting like it was a big deal. You, on the other hand…

Embarrassing as it was, you were hiding from him. Who knows why. It was as though last night was a secret you had to take to your grave. 

So here you are, crouched under a table while Jungwon and his friends are messing with their Switches over lunch. 

Since you aren’t too far away from their table, you can catch snippets of his conversation with his gaming buddies. And as you stare a little longer, the sudden realisation hits you: you know those guys. They lived in your neighbourhood too, went to the same school, played hundreds of games with you and Jungwon too. 

Kim Sunoo, the one whose name Jungwon used to call with more excitement than you’d ever seen before. He was older than you by a year, and he was the reason you and Jungwon started gaming. Every inch of his house was covered in anime posters, Genshin cosplays, full sets of manga volumes and action figurines. Plus, he had a treasure trove of a game collection that lined every wall in his house, something that still amazed you. Apparently, he’d gotten the money through cosplay wig commissions or some voice acting gig (the dude had a honeyed croon every fangirl could swoon for). Cunning, hardworking and motivated. You could see him write those on his resume.

Then there was the dude who hulked over your…boyfriend and Sunoo. Nishimura Riki. If you recalled correctly, Riki was like a little brother to Jungwon, who would take him anywhere and everywhere. His parents owned a dance studio, and Riki had put his skills to good use. Cosplay thirst traps were all your feeds consisted of, and you’d stumbled across Riki’s account one day, featuring the tall boy in a maid outfit. By the looks of it, he worked here. The apron gave it away.

Just how much did you miss?

“Yah! That’s the third time you missed a shot today. And you never miss!” you hear Sunoo whine. “Who are you and what have you done with my talented dongsaeng?”

Riki snickers “Hyung, he’s distracted. Look at him. He can’t focus.” He leans towards Jungwon, a meaningful smile curling on his face. “He logged on late last night, didn’t he? I bet he went on a date.”

Jungwon’s fingers slipped.

“AAAAAAAH JUNGWON-AH WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Sunoo’s wails fill the cafe, earning a hasty shush from Jungwon. “Honestly, you guys are so dramatic. Is it so unbelievable?” 

“Ah, but hyung, this is different. You’ve been single your whole life cause you can’t get over-”

“Shut up.”

You hear Jungwon exhale, fingers fiddling with the power button of his switch. “Look, it’s not like that okay? She and I are just dating till she gets an actual boyfriend.” 

A pause. Then hysterical laughter begins to echo through the small cafe. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Won,” Sunoo wheezes, slapping his knee so hard you hear the smack ringing in your ears. “You of all people should know these things never end the way you expect it to. Aren’t you supposed to be a shoujo plot expert?”

“What do you even expect me to know? This isnt real life!”

“Hyung, I know a good pick up line you can use on her. Are you an angel? Cause your health bar dropped when you fell from heaven.”

“That sucks, Riki.”

Much as you’d like to watch Jungwon dig a deeper hole for himself with every word that comes out of his mouth, you do have an ounce of pity for him.

You walk over to their table, pulling out a chair. “Oh? Didn’t expect to bump into you here.”

Sunoo falls off his chair in shock, but he just stays on the floor staring at you with almost comically  wide eyes. “Y/n?! We all thought you died when you disappeared from our neighbourhood?”

“Died?! I left to study, who told you I died?” 

Shaking his head, Sunoo giggles deliriously. “Wait till you find out what Jungwon’s love life is like. Did you know he’s got a…a fake girlfriend?”He barely gets the words out before another fit of giggles knocks him over.

You clear your throat. “I…might know a thing or two.” Jungwon’s head spins towards you, the existential horror evident on his betrayed glare. “Y/n, why would you tell them that?” The boys perk up almost immediately, the sound of Sunoo slamming the table reverberating off the walls as the owner shoots dirty glares at Riki. “No way, his fake girl is you?”

Just as Sunoo is about to tease you even more, Riki comes to your rescue. “Ah, who cares. At least you can game with us now. Hoyoverse ID, please.”

You wince, grinning sheepishly. “Yeah, about that, my ex deleted my account as revenge. I haven’t found time to restart.”

“Sheesh, Y/n, what kind of exes do you have?

“Bitter ones, obviously.”

“So Jungwon’s better than them all?”

“Oi Riki shut your mouth.”

LEVEL 001 COMPLETE. PROCEED? >YES >NO

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

LEVEL 002: FIRST DATE?!

Being in a relationship requires commitment. That much you’re aware of. Miraculously, so is Jungwon despite his absolute lack of experience.

“So Riki wasn’t joking? You’ve really never dated anyone ? Why?” 

Jungwon sighs. If he weren’t so busy with his mouse, he’d probably have glared you down. “Didn’t think I needed it, don’t ask why.”

“Sheesh, okay. So touchy.” 

This is how you’ve been spending your after-hours: playing any PVP game that suits your mood with your…boyfriend? Neither of you had really made an effort to give each other any experience dating someone who didn’t spend 24 hours a day thinking of 2D characters. 

Jungwon’s fingers fly across the WASD as he continues the conversation. It’s a skill he seems to have acquired after so many years of doing this with Sunoo and Riki. “I think we should stick to the plan we agreed on.”

“What plan? We never planned anything.”

He swallows audibly, eyes darting around the screen of his monitor as his avatar creeps nearer towards his opponent’s “We need to try going on an actual date. Zero gaming references, strictly no mentions of your manga allowed. Practice makes perfect.”

“Practice makes perfect,” you echo. He’s right, you have to admit. It’s been fun having him around to help you level up in your games, but there’s no way you can continue on like this. The arrangement might as well be off, if that were the case.

Right?

You don’t miss the cheeky edge in his voice as he speaks. “You’ll have a harder time than me, so let’s have a bet. If you mention anything anime or manga or video game-related, I get to pick what games we play for a week.”

“Oh come on, there’s no way I’m gonna play Mario Kart for a week. If I win, you have to play a full Mystic Messenger route with me.”

Jungwon groans, falling back against the backrest as he slides away from you. “Now I really need to win.”

The following day, you find yourself standing at the gates of a small theme park. Squeals of pure delight fill the air as children dart around visitor’s legs. Pop-up shops line the edges of the park, with colourful carnival booths and cotton candy of every flavour imaginable. In other words, paradise.

Coincidentally, it’s also the place you and Jungwon visited when you graduated from high school, and you can’t help but wonder if he remembers it the way you do. 

With Jungwon by your side, you head straight for the merry-go-round. Beckoning towards Jungwon, you swing your legs over a plastic horse. The spinning disc begins to rotate, and your horse bounces you upwards. “Ha, I’m finally taller than you!” you joke cheerily. 

He shakes his head fondly, signature smirk curling to reveal his teeth. “In your dreams. Do you remember the first time we came here?”

“Oh yeah, in kindergarten I think? Your sister took us here. We snuck off to the spinning teacups twice.”

“If she hadn’t found us, we’d have gone a third time,” he snorts. “I miss being a scrappy kid. No need to worry if someone’s gonna kill me for my typos, or my parents nagging at me to bring a girl home. Just doing what I want to. Preferably with you.”

You hum absently, pondering on his sudden confession. It’s true, neither of you would have believed it if ten years ago, someone had told you you’d be doing a nine-to-five desk job. “Heh, we used to say we wanted to be game developers. Look at us now.”

“Look at us now.”

The next five minutes make you feel as though the two of you are in your own little bubble, and you are so lost in conversation that you almost don’t notice that the ride has stopped. As you step off the platform, you find yourself wishing this could last forever. Wasn’t so bad, was it?

“C’mon, I wanna try the roller coaster next.” Jungwon nudges you towards the loopy tracks, painted in a blinding white that reflects the bright morning sun. “Last I checked, you’re pretty good with heights.”

With his hand on your shoulders, he steers you towards the winding line of poor souls who don’t know what’s coming. Luckily for you, this isn’t your first time. Following Jungwon’s lead, you march forward. The day’s going well so far, but somehow it just doesn’t really feel like a date. Oh well, that can be built up over time. You squeeze your way through a small crowd, peering over tall shoulders. And as the crowd parts ever so slightly… 

It can’t be.

Not far from you, a head of dyed blonde hair glints in the sunlight. As you lean forward, you see the face attached to it. Your ex.

And hand-in-hand with him is another ex-colleague. 

You should’ve known, really. They’d been making eyes at each other even while you were dating, so this shouldn’t be a surprise. But as your fingers dig into the sleeves of Jungwon’s sweater, you can’t ignore the way your heart clenches painfully, dread coursing through your limbs as you will your legs to just move along.

For better or worse, Jungwon is a highly perceptive person. He follows your gaze. “Is that…” His voice trails off, hands tightening their grip on your back. 

You swallow thickly, trying to tear your eyes away. “Y-yeah. Let’s keep moving, shall we?”

Forcing a smile, you surge forward with greater resolve than ever. Today’s not about him, is it? It’s about you and Jungwon. Right. Today can still be a good day.

“Y/n?”

Jungwon’s voice rings clearly despite the bustling visitors surrounding you. You look up in surprise as his arm wraps around your shoulders, hand squeezing your bicep firmly. An assurance. “Ignore him. Even if he spots you, he wouldn't dare come here.”

“And if he does?” 

“He’s just a side character in the grand scheme of things. You’re the main focus today, don’t let him ruin our date…or whatever.”

His words send your heart aflutter, warmth filling your veins like honey. Leave it to Yang Jungwon to make you feel special. “Now say it with me: I am weirdo otaku, and my ex is a smelly normie with no real hobbies.” 

You know he means it as a joke, but somehow you can hear your voice growing louder and more confident as you repeat after him for laughs, and you realise that for the first time in months, you are perfectly calm about the whole thing. Maybe it’s the fact that you know for sure he’s in the wrong now. Maybe it’s the fact that Jungwon literally has your back. Either way, you’ve finally found it in you to stand up for yourself. 

“Right, I’ve got a date to enjoy with my boyfriend.” Hooking your arm with Jungwon’s, you lead him towards the cotton candy stand. “I can’t stand the sight of that bastard, so let’s go.” 

A genuine smile graces Jungwon’s cat-like features, dimples deepening as he gazes at you with so much fondness in his eyes it’s as though you’re the only one in his world. You suppose years of knowing each other gives him that right, but you can’t explain away the tickly sensation in your belly when he looks at you that way. “Well, I’m glad. At least that’s one obstacle we’ve overcome through this amazing plan of ours-“

“And thank you for joining me in the Mystic Messenger grind.”

“What? Since when?” He gapes, horror dawning on his face as he realises the situation he’s gotten himself stuck in.

“Oh, you know exactly what you did.”

“...that doesn’t count.”

“Does too!”

“Does not.”

“Whatever you say, loser. Get ready for a tearjerker marathon, Won. We better stock up on tissues before we start tonight.”

LEVEL 002 COMPLETE. PROCEED? >YES >NO

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

LEVEL 003: MIXED SIGNALS

You are positively, utterly, tragically, extremely screwed. Why? Because you have a chapter of a doujin to upload. Tomorrow. And said chapter is…nonexistent. And judging by the influx of comments under your discord, the fans aren’t gonna be happy if you don’t keep your promise. Then again, neither are you. You’re actually just excited for this, but to think you might just let your readers down…

You sigh, cracking your knuckles as you flop into the study chair. This is not the time to be panicking, you decide as you pick up your pen. You’ve got the plot down, the action scenes are already looping in your head, plus the cheesy romance factor is definitely, undeniably there. So what’s the issue here? Why is it that as you twirl the digital pen between your fingers, you are staring at a blank canvas?

Death by manga. Not a bad way to go out. You try to squeeze your brain, gulp down a whole cup of hot tea, hot coffee, anything at all. But none of it works. An hour later you are still met with a snowy white expanse across your PC, not a single face, hand, just nothing. Great.

You reach for your phone. Maybe checking the fan art submissions will give you some ideas. But as you pick it up, a notification tone pings, screen lighting up as a message pops into existence. A red heart floats beside the text. 

won<3: why r u online on twt rn arent u supposed 2 b asleep

you: omg ur online pls save me n log on 2 discord thx

Almost immediately, your discord alert tone goes off, and Jungwon’s voice blasts from your monitor. “You okay? You should’ve turned in for the night two hours ago. What’s keeping you up?” The concern in his tone is evident, despite the virtual barrier. It feels good, to know someone’s looking out for you. Especially if that someone is Jungwon.

“Listen…you know how my new chapter is up tomorrow? Well, I kiiinda haven’t finished drawing it yet.”

The silence in your room is telling, save for what you think might be Jungwon dropping his bag of chips. “Y/n, you can’t be serious. Share the file with me, we don’t have much time if you want to get any sleep tonight at all.”

“Really? You’ll help? Thank you so so much I’ll buy you dinner tomorrow.” You fiddle with the controls, and it just so happens that Jungwon decides to turn his camera on at the exact same time. His face appears across your screen, and for a moment you forget what you’re supposed to be doing. 

Although it’s past midnight, he still looks absolutely gorgeous. With the contacts off, his eyes are their natural black, sharper than when you see him in the mornings. You are about to question why he is so alert today when your eyes fall on his pursed lips, a pretty shade of pink, much like when you were kids. He did grow up well, you’ve got to admit. But instead of his features making you flustered, it seems to make your heart ache instead. It’s an inexplicable feeling, similar to nostalgia. Regret for the years you’ve lost.

“What even…y/n, I don’t think this is called being unfinished. You didn’t even start.” He runs a hand through his auburn hair, expression giving away the exasperation directed at you. “Well, we better get started. Pick your pen up, we’re in for a long night.”

The next two hours are spent brainstorming and you panicking over the lineart, while Jungwon tries to colour in the cover page. Every time you let out an “oops”, you swear you see the cat ears on Jungwon’s headset twitch in annoyance. (Not that it matters, but that’s the headset you got for him for his eighteenth birthday.)

After a while, you settle into a comfortable silence, save for the gentle tapping of your pen’s nib on the screen. “Hey, Won?”

Hearing the hum of acknowledgement from his end, you continue. “Did you…miss me when I left? I know you found out from my mother, but only because I was too scared to tell you on my own.”

There is a pause, where only Jungwon’s even breaths are audible. Finally, he answers your question. “Y/n, you were my best friend. You still are. Of course I missed you.” He says it like it is so obvious, like it is a given for him to care so much about you, platonic or not. 

“Weren’t you a little…disappointed by what I was like when we met again that day? I did try to pretend I’d changed.” You’ve never actually told Jungwon that if he hadn’t talked to you that night, you were planning to never approach him again. Back then, you would’ve wanted to pretend he didn’t exist. But that night at the arcade, and how he’d shown you over the past few months that he wasn’t going anywhere, it made you wonder. Why’d you want to stick with me?

“Disappointed? Never. Not in you. You haven’t had it easy since you left our hometown, I know. But from here out, I’m sure you’ve figured out what you want, haven’t you?”

A wave of relief washes over you, the comfort dulling your senses as you rest your chin on the desk. “You’re setting my standards a little too high, you know.” Your eyelids begin to droop, the prolonged exposure to the screen beginning to take its toll on you. Slowly, the world fades to black. “Won, can you wake me in five minutes?” you manage to get out, before your consciousness slips away as you lay your head down. 

Unbeknownst to you, Jungwon watches your slumbering figure, a bittersweet tang in his mouth as he admires your fluttering eyelashes, the slight rise and fall of your shoulders, the tiny twitches of your enticing lips, a virtual barrier separating him from your sleeping frame. His fingers trace the image of you cast on his pc, chest cavity clenching painfully as he realises how much more beautiful you’ve become in the five years that passed with regret. “If I had told you back then, would we be what we are now?”

The next day arrives without a hitch. You had to apologise to Jungwon for falling asleep on call, to which he replied with a cheeky eye roll. “If you want to make it up to me, come over to my place tonight. Wii sports isn’t fun as a single-player game.”

You wrap up your work in record time, with your supervisor being so incredibly impressed that she almost tries to assign you extra work, but you manage to run away before she gives you overtime for the third time this week.

Jungwon has been to your place many times, but you haven’t actually visited his apartment before. The times you go over to pick up stuff aren’t counted because you don’t actually go in, and you’re honestly curious to see what your…boyfriend(?)’s taste in interior design is. 

After picking up some takeaway from a nearby yakitori place, you and Jungwon make the short trip from the office to his place. “What’s it like? Do you have a whole cabinet dedicated to your vocaloid figurines or something?”

“Nope,” he shrugs, an odd look on his face as he eyes you warily. “I have some…ah never mind.” He stops, and you realise you have reached his front door. He swings the door open, hands fumbling in the dark for the light switch. “Welcome to my apartment. Make yourself at home. There’s some soda in the fridge if you’re thirsty.”

One look into the apartment is all you need to know that Yang Jungwon is the same, tidy creature you’ve always known. The living room is minimalistic, with a deep blue couch in the centre. A small television leans against a wall, some wires disappearing into the back. To the left, a small cloth-covered box sits in the corner, and you assume it is for his gadgets. The kitchen looks extremely new. Too new, even, and knowing Jungwon he’s probably never actually used it before. A short corridor leads to the bedroom, but the lights don’t reach that area. 

Jungwon drops the keys into a small basket on the kitchen counter. “Bathroom’s in the bedroom down the hallway. If you want, you can take a shower. I’ll leave a shirt for you. Might not be a good fit though.” He doesn’t even have to look at you to know, since his shoulders are just so broad that if you were to put on his clothes, they’d probably slide right off you. But why does the thought of wearing his shirt make your cheeks burn? You used to do this when you were kids, when you crashed at his house for sleepovers and you forgot your pyjamas. You’d borrow his favourite pyjamas just to watch him pout, but he could never say no to you. And when he began to outgrow you, you were a little disappointed when he decided to just give that set to you since “you seemed to like them so much”. 

“I invited Sunoo and Riki, they’ll be over soon. I’ll get the console set up, so you go clean yourself up.”

Without a single protest, you thank him and make your way into the bedroom. You’re dying to wash up after a long day at work. The moment you step in, you are greeted by the pleasant smell of lavender and chamomile. His childhood home used to smell like that too, so the aroma is somewhat nostalgic, and very welcome too. The bed covers are tucked into the sides of the bedframe neatly, its colours matching the couch outside. His favourite colour hadn’t changed all this time. In fact, you’re willing to bet his gaming controller is blue.

As you peer into the washroom, you notice a small bottle of makeup remover, its contents still to the brim. You’d mentioned passing your favourite brand once, and there it is, perched on the bathroom counter. For some strange reason, an odd warmth trickles into your chest as you shut the door.

Your shower is quick but thorough, and as you step out you notice the pile of clothes on the bed. Slipping on the soft fabric, you sniff the sleeves. It smells kind of like the cologne you told him smelled nice on him once. So he did remember. He always did remember the weirdest things, after all.

“Who did?” Jungwon leans into your ear from behind you, his breathy whisper tickling its way into your ears. The sudden assault on your hearing makes your neck twitch away from him, but as you lurch away from him your balance tips. The fabric of Jungwon’s loose T-shirt bunches in your fist as you hold onto him for support, but you end up dragging him down with you. As your back hits the bed, you hear a soft oomph from Jungwon. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” you gasp, turning your head to the left and-

oh.

His face is inches from yours, a proximity that you never would’ve thought possible until now. Every shaky breath between his lips is accentuated with a nervous swallow as you watch him attempt and fail to pry his eyes away from your lips. You gasp audibly, feeling lightheaded despite already being on your back and your fingers are twitching desperately. The odd warmth is back, and your body moves on its own accord, fingers reaching out to Jungwon’s jaw. But as your fingertips are just a millimetre away from his skin, Jungwon seemingly sobers up, abruptly breaking the spell for himself. “S-sorry, don’t know what came over me,” he stutters, sitting up before you can touch him. He moves to get off the bed, but something within you breaks. Without warning, your hand snaps to his wrist, tugging him backwards and it’s all too fast, you shouldn’t be thinking about your best friend like this-

But here you are, leaning in to join your lips with his. It’s not your first kiss, but it may as well be with the way your heartbeat pounds in your ears, adrenaline shooting through your veins as you wrap your fingers around the nape of his neck, pulling him closer. The distance is too little, too much, the electrifying heat unbearable yet so addictive. With your eyes shut, the hesitant brush of his palm on your hip is magnified tenfold, and your heart races as you feel him bury a hand in your wet hair, his thumb grazing your cheek slightly. It’s gentle, it’s sweet, it’s perfect, and you smile against his lips. But before you can lock your fingers with his, everything disappears. He pulls away from every part of you, and it is only then that your eyes flutter open. 

“Y/n, I…”

A weight in your chest drops as you see the guilty expression on his face, eyes looking anywhere but you. “You…I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, fingers reaching for his own, but he retracts his hand faster. “Wait, don’t go. We just…you just - okay, what are you saying sorry for again?”

He gulps, throat bobbing as he purses his lips firmly to stop them from trembling. “I think you’re probably just confused since we hadn’t seen each other for a while. Just, let’s not do…that again, or-”

“Or what?!”

“Or I’ll think you actually like me.”

You scan his face, searching for any signs of mischief, but his eyes are still averted, biting his lip like a guilt-ridden cat. Normally you’d think this is cute, but right now nothing but irritation is clouding over any instinct to be calm about whatever’s going on right now. “Jungwon, I literally just kissed you. What else would I mean other than that? People don’t kiss people they don’t like.”

“You’re confused, Y/n,” he sighs, rubbing his temple tiredly. You want those hands on yours right now, but he isn’t going to give it to you and you know it. “You don’t know what you want. Heck, neither of us know what we’re doing. What was this stupid deal anyway? It was selfish of me to even let this happen, I mean it’s been five years. This was just a whole stupid idea to give teenage me what he wanted. You probably don’t even need me in your life, and it’s so stupid of me to want to be in yours like this.”

“Are you kidding me? I want you here. I like you, and I want you by my side just like this right now. I’m not leaving again, Jungwon. Do you…did you even like me at all?”

“Yes. Too much. But you’re…” he trails off, a muffled groan escaping his lips as he buries his face into his knees. “If you knew how much I really like you, you’d never be able to leave.”

“Then I won’t-”

The doorbell interrupts you, and Jungwon takes the opportunity to scramble off the bed, leaving you alone in the room. Sunoo and Riki’s loud banter drifts into the small space. As Jungwon’s scent becomes too strong for you to bear in the room, you grab a breather before walking out. “Hey guys,” you murmur, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as Jungwon pretends to be busy with the controllers.

“Were we interrupting something?” Sunoo asks absently, fussing with the snacks he brought from the convenience store downstairs. When neither of you reply him, Riki smirks knowingly. “Lovers’ quarrel, then?”

You smack Riki in the arm. “You’ll regret that when I kick your butt at Wii sports later.”

At your overly confident declaration, Jungwon lets out a loud snort. “Oh yeah, because you’re so good at bowling, Y/n.” His snide comment ticks you off, bringing out your competitive streak. “Oh it’s on, Yang,” you growl, cracking your knuckles in the most menacing angle you can find.

The night is full of laughter, despite the tension between you and Jungwon. It’s easy to ignore, with Sunoo and Riki over, but every now and then you look over at Jungwon, who purposefully maintains his absolute lack of eye contact with you. Which is atypical of him, and you’re sure Sunoo’s already noticed but knows better than to point it out. After rounds and rounds of stupid games that usually end with someone falling over, you flop onto the couch, cracking open a can of marble soda. “That last move was killer. Don’t think I’ll be able to walk tomorrow,” you groan, taking a swig of your soda as if it’s alcohol and you’re a tired mother. (Technically you all can legally drink, but you know better than to do that tonight because Jungwon will freak if you guys throw up in his apartment.)

Riki chuckles, tossing another can across the living room towards Sunoo. “Ha, Y/n’s getting old.”

“I’ll get the Salonpas, you guys sit here,” Jungwon sighs, jumping up from his seat on the couch to the cupboard behind you. He throws a few at your head, and chucks another box at Sunoo, who glares at him like he just said mint chocolate ice cream’s the most disgusting dessert he’s ever eaten.

“You’ll thank me tomorrow, Sunoo.”

Mumbling a string of inaudible words, Sunoo slaps a patch on his shoulder. “What time do you want to sleep?”

“NEVER.”

Jungwon fiddles with a bunch of wires, and the screen of his nintendo flashes across the TV. “Anyone up for a DDLC run?”

“How do you still have this? And why is your progress already two days in?”

“Y/n and I played it the two weeks we were messing with Mysme, so we wouldn’t get bored.”

“Oh nice, whose death did you remember most?”

“Gotta be Yuri’s, I think.”

“No way, Natsuki’s freaked me out more. I nearly threw the game out the window when I saw it.”

“Natsuki?!”

Their quarrelling continues, and you shake your head in amusement. You’ve played the game multiple times, enough to the point nothing about it scares you anymore. When you and Jungwon first played it together in elementary school, you couldn’t sleep for a whole week. Cue the endless sleepovers, where every little creak of the door would jerk you two awake. You remember having to hold Jungwon’s hand under the covers for security. 

But now, that memory only serves to remind you of the events that came about a few hours ago. Disconnecting yourself from the conversation, you lean back into the couch, fingers subconsciously drifting to your own lips. The feeling hasn’t really faded, resurfacing every time you think about it too long. As your eyes flutter shut, your mind goes back to what he said earlier. Are you really using him as a rebound? But you still believe, after all this time, that it’s fate who brought you back to him. You need him in your life again, nothing to do with your ex.

Which brings you to the question: where’s the fine line between friendship and romance? Because with every passing day, Jungwon’s every move makes you start to question what he really means to you. 

You hear a rustling of fabric, and a small felt blanket is draped over you, the soft material sliding over your toes. “Is she asleep?” you hear Sunoo ask.

Judging by the fact that Jungwon’ voice is nearest to you, you assume he’s the one who gave you the blanket. “Sure looks like it. Guess we bored her to sleep.” The couch cushions sink, and you feel the backrest dip. 

“So, Jungwon, what happened before we got here? Did you guys fight or something?”

Jungwon sighs. “It’s…I think I made a mistake with her. She’s mixing up her feelings, and she probably just missed me.” There is an unmistakable bitterness in his words, the way he spits them out with such self-doubt that it makes your heart ache. You want to open your eyes and grab him by the shoulders and shake him awake, but now isn’t the time.

“But Jungwon hyung, I don’t think she just misses you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. It’s kinda gross. You two are disgustingly cute.”

“It’s not romantic, Riki. She didn’t like me when we were kids, why would she like me now? The least I could do for her is to not get in the way of her future since that’s what we agreed on, but-”

“But do you like her?” Sunoo asks, ripping open a bag of potato chips.

“I don’t know. When we were kids I coud just brush it off as stupid teenage infatuation. I thought I got over her, but the moment I met her again everything felt different. It’s...I don't know. It’s just not the same.” The frustration is evident in his tone, and you have to fight the urge to crack your eyelids open and yell at him. It all hits you for the first time how hard your departure from his life must have hit him. His own best friend (and childhood crush) disappearing without a trace, and not even telling him. 

Luckily, Sunoo comes to your rescue. “She returns your feelings, then. She’s back for good, Jungwon. You’re not holding her back, trust me. She’ll stay this time.”

The long pause is almost painful for you, who cannot see the look on Jungwon’s face now. You can picture it, but the curiosity is near unbearable. To your surprise, Jungwon is the one who breaks the silence. 

“But…what if she wants to leave again? What then?”

What then? It’s a question begging to be answered, an enigma that should not be. Even Sunoo falls silent at Jungwon's raw, vulnerable confession that he’s scared, terrified even that he’ll lose you someday. No, you want to say. I won’t leave again. But would he believe you? Sunoo might. Riki does. But Jungwon? The one who missed you twice as much as you missed him, the one who took you back in a heartbeat, the one who willingly let himself suffer for a taste of what he thought he couldn’t have. It’s not fair, you decide. It’s not fair that Yang Jungwon is so selfless and aware of every little detail, pretending to be unbothered by everything under the sun. But you know that’s not the truth, that beneath those sturdy shoulders you’ve leaned on for far too long, there is a boy who just wants your love. It’s ironic, really, that the person who hurt him most is the one who has the power to end the years-long torment he’s been put through.

Your thoughts are jumbled in your brain as a restless sleep finally claims you. Just before you nod off, you hear the flip of a switch, the rustling of a mattress being pulled out, and…

A kiss on the forehead.

LEVEL 003 COMPLETE. PROCEED? >YES >NO

SIDE QUEST OPEN! PROCEED? >YES >NO

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SIDE QUEST XX: MEET THE PARENTS

After that groundbreaking sleepover, a lot of things go unsaid between you and Jungwon. Somehow, there’s a weird gap where you’re eager to talk about what happened that day, while Jungwon seems to want to avoid it completely, contrary to what he said that night. You still pass each other at work, but no text messages ever come in like they used to, inviting you to play whatever mind-numbing game he feels like. It’s the quiet that scares you most, and even though Sunoo called you the other day to tell you not to worry, that Jungwon will come to his senses already, you fear that this is the day Jungwon ends his common sense streak. 

You’re beginning to plan on how to get a key to his apartment when you hear a light tapping on your work booth. Swivelling your chair around, you find yourself face to face with the very person who’s been occupying your thoughts. You take a moment to look him up and down, searching for any signs he may be regretting pushing you away that day. But all you see is a sheepish Jungwon, dressed in the cutest pink sweater you’ve ever seen, and the earphones you gave him hanging around his neck. “Um, Y/n…can we talk?”

For a moment, your heart leaps. Is he going to make amends? You jump up, dragging him into a secluded corner. “Is this about…you know?”

“No…I’m sorry. It’s the opposite, actually. It kinda slipped my mind about what we wanted to do over the weekend. Do you still remember?”

Remember? Of course you remember. This weekend, you were supposed to go back to your hometown to visit both your parents. You’d gone back to spend time with your parents before, but never with any of the neighbours who used to dote on you as a child. And after the arrangement you and Jungwon had, you decided to visit his family, where he would introduce you as his girlfriend just to get his parents off his back about “settling down”. 

But now that whatever’s between you two is more obvious than ever, it would probably make sense to Jungwon to cancel. Yet a part of you deflates at the thought. “I still wanna go, if that’s what you mean.”

You watch as Jungwon gulps, throat bobbing as he squeezes his hands together. “Won’t you feel a little weirded out? I mean, after…that, I’d understand completely.”

“Hate to break it to you Jungwon-ssi, but the awkwardness is very much one-sided.”

He seems to hesitate for a moment, before speaking up again. “Are you sure-”

“YES. I want your mother’s jajangmyeon. You can’t keep me away from it forever.”

And with that, the deal is done. Ignoring Jungwon’s absolutely manic laugh of disbelief, you slip back into your seat, a plan already beginning to form.

That same weekend, you stand in front of the Yang family’s apartment, a death grip on the handle of the crocker in your hands. Yet when paired side by side with Jungwon, it’s clear almost immediately who’s the stressed one.

“Isn’t the girlfriend supposed to be the scared one when meeting the parents? Why are you the one acting like you’re about to faint in front of your own house?!” you chide, nudging him with your elbow hard enough to throw his balance off. Still, he squeezes your shoulder in what you assume is some awkward show of reassurance. “You don’t have to do this, no one’ll blame you.”

“Now is not the time to be regretting your decisions, so suck it up. You’re the only one with a problem about this.” You can’t help the curt edge in your tone, because try as you might, it’s undeniable that meeting the Yang family after so many years freaks you out. They loved you as their son’s best friend, no doubt, but as a potential future daughter-in-law?

Before either of you can start to get cold feet, you lunge for the doorbell. The button is worn, from years of you, Sunoo and Riki jabbing it every day. From the sound of it, the batteries must’ve been replaced recently, but the melody retains its same nostalgic tune.

Almost immediately, you hear the fumbling of keys in a lock, and the door swings wide open to reveal a familiar face.

“ Jungwon-ah, you’re here-” It’s as though you can pinpoint the exact moment his mother realises who the girl standing next to her son is. “Is that…Y/n? It’s been so long! We’ve missed you so much! Jungwon-ah, why didn’t you tell me you met her? I could’ve organised dinner with her family long ago! Ah, what a wonderful surprise. Come in, come in!” She invites you in without waiting for you to greet her, practically dragging you into the house. “Make yourself at home, although you probably already feel at home. Oh, is this for me? Thank you so much, dear, what a thoughtful child you are!” Accepting the pot of food you prepared, she hurries into the kitchen for a pair of mittens.

You take your time to look around with Jungwon’s supervision. Not much has changed, save for the little white gate barely holding back the family dog. Maeumi (which is the adorable ball of fluff’s name, according to Jungwon) leans against the gate eagerly, barking with sheer joy at the sight of Jungwon. “Do you…wanna pet her?” Jungwon asks awkwardly as he notices you eyeing her in adoration. As he gets a nod from you, he can’t help the chuckle that escapes from him, and he bends down to fiddle with the lock. 

Almost instantly, Maeumi bounds into Jungwon’s outstretched arms, licking his face uncontrollably as Jungwon laughs. “So it’s easier for a dog to get a kiss from you than a human, huh,” you mumble softly. Jungwon just rolls his eyes, his cheeks turning visibly red.

You hear the slam of a door. “Why didn’t anyone tell me Jungwon was here…oh Y/n!” Jungwon’s sister runs out of her room, sweeping you into a tight embrace. “Who would’ve guessed, our sweet baby brother brings his childhood sweet-”

“NOONA.”

She giggles deliriously, absently dismissing Jungwon with a wave of her hand. “Come on, Y/n. We have lots to catch up on.”

The rest of the night goes by seamlessly. Dinner is a casual affair, which feels more like a reunion as your parents drop by unexpectedly and end up joining in the conversation. As expected, most of the questions are about you and Jungwon. (“Where did you meet?” “How long have you been dating?”) With Jungwon by your side throughout the meal, you manage to catch him staring at you an absurd number of times, and they always end with him ducking away again. He’s usually confident in these kinds of settings, and he probably would appear so to everyone else, but for some reason you can almost feel the nervousness radiating off him like he’s some sort of weird lava lamp. Still, things go as planned without any slips of the tongue where you might accidentally reveal that your “love lives” (if any) were in jeopardy.

After the plates have been washed and cleared away, everyone shifts into the living room again, all the parents claiming their spots on the large L-shaped sofa. You, Jungwon and his sister seat yourselves on the floor, Maeumi resting on your belly. Surprisingly, the puppy took a liking to you quickly.

As the conversation lulls on, Jungwon leans nearer towards you. “Tired? I can take you home early if you’d like.” In response, you slap his thigh gently. “No one’s going anywhere, stop trying to make me leave before I work my magic on your parents. Too scared they’ll make you keep me?” As expected, Jungwon pointedly ignores you, opting to take a sip of his tea. 

Half an hour in, Jungwon’s sister suddenly rises. “Hey Y/n, can you come out to the balcony with me? I want to catch some air.” She hauls you to your feet, tugging you towards the balcony far away from the others. As she locks the door, panic begins to claw up your throat. “Uh, what’s going on?”

She pats your head affectionately, sighing as she tries not to laugh. “Why do you look so scared? I’m not going to kill you, relax. I did, however, want to talk to you about something.” She gazes up at the night sky, leaning against the railing as she smiles softly. “So, Jungwon actually told me about you two way before our parents knew you two were…dating? I dunno, you guys are unlabelled right now aren’t you?” 

You nod slowly, joining her on the edge of the balcony. “Honestly, I already know what I want, but Jungwon’s…scared? Worried? Maybe that’s the better word for it, but either way he thinks I’m confused about everything. Which could not be further from the truth, because I’m, uh. You know.”

“Falling in love harder than you expected to?” She sends a knowing smirk your way, one you can make out despite the relative darkness. She’s always been so aware of Jungwon’s life, and the lives of people around him. You’re no exception, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Yeah. It’s funny, really, how we went from friends to…this. I miss when it wasn’t so complicated, but things change. Feelings change, and I guess I don’t want things between me and him to stay the same anymore,” you admit. It’s kind of strange to be venting to your crush’s sister, but she probably knows him better than you. If not her, then who?

She turns to face you properly, a wistful expression on her face as she stares into space. “He tells me it’s just fate that brought you two together again, you know. But if it were just fate, he wouldn’t have carried those headphones you got him all those years ago literally everywhere. I’m willing to bet he’d have spent the rest of his life looking for you.” She’s right, and you know it. It’s not fate that brought you together. It can’t be, because that would mean everything that happened so far can be chalked up to everyone just following some story where you already know the ending. You made this decision on your own, to fall for Jungwon. He chose, years ago, to not let go of his feelings for you. And you refuse to let yourself be tossed around by the waves of life any longer. This time, Yang Jungwon will not disappear from your life, lost to the trials of time.

“Don’t let him out of your sight, Y/n. Dependable as he may seem, he’s still the baby of the family. You’d be surprised at how insecure Jungwon can be, especially when it comes to you. Talk some sense into him, will you?”

The exchange feels like an eternity, yet at the same time too short. You’re not nearly as brave as you want to be, not to mention when it comes to feelings like this. “But the heart wants what the heart wants, doesn’t it?” you muse, earning a pleased look from Jungwon’s sister. “That’s the spirit. You have full permission to punch him in the face if he still doesn’t see sense, got it? Or you can let me do it, I’d be more than happy.”

A couple hours later, when the cups are dry, and your eyelids begin to droop, Jungwon pulls you to your feet. “I think it’s about time we leave, Y/n has a busy day tomorrow. I’ll send you home.” Observant as always, Jungwon leads you to the door, waving goodbye to your families. The moment the door shuts behind you, his shoulders slump as though a huge weight’s been taken off. “Let’s go, I’ll walk you home.”

The journey is quiet, but as you reach the door of your apartment, it seems Jungwon has enough of the silence. “That was exhausting,” he groans breathlessly, sliding down the door as he massages his forehead. You decide that this is your opportunity to swoop in.

“But…would you do it again?”

His head snaps towards you immediately, panic flickering briefly across his face as he bites his lip, searching for the right words. “As…whatever we are right now?”

You take a step closer, leaning towards him as you stare directly into his eyes in a sudden rush of confidence. “No, I want something different.”

His throat bobs visibly as he swallows thickly, fists clenching and unclenching as he looks around, anywhere to avoid your intensifying gaze. “Y/n, we talked about this.”

“Correction: you talked, and I just listened. I heard what you told Sunoo and Riki, not that I didn’t already know how you feel.” You gently tug on his collar, bringing his face closer to yours. Your knuckles brush his cheek, and this time you relish the tingles it sends down your arm, straight to your heart. “You don’t need to tell me how you feel. A part of me’s always known. Yang Jungwon, I know you from the inside out. There’s nothing you can do that I haven’t already predicted. And it goes both ways. I’m not asking for the words ‘I love you’, because I already know. So what more do we have to hide from each other?”

Jungwon’s gaze wavers slightly, but try as he might, everything in the moment seems to be screaming, pleading with him to stay. “But you…I don’t want to be the thing that holds you back. I want you to do what you want, go where you want, whenever you want.”

“You’re all I want, Won. I’m not leaving your side again. What makes you think I could leave you behind so easily? I’ve already decided what I want. So be selfish, and ask me to stay.”

As you tighten your grip on his shirt, you step closer towards him, other hand drifting upwards to stroke his cheek. Your thumb traces the ridges of his dimples, slides down the edge of his mouth, and you can feel a surge of adrenaline as his lips part to form a word. Just one word, shaky and no more than a whisper, but it’s more than enough to stop time altogether as a tear falls from his eyes.

“Stay.”

Your vision goes blurry as you slip into his arms, his chin resting on your shoulder as his palms move to your back, pulling you closer. The fabric of his vest presses into your cheek, and your senses are filled with him. It’s too much and too little, all at the same time, his scent overwhelming you as he shakes under you. A garbled sob escapes your throat, and your fingers bunch up the fabric of his clothes for support as you both sway in place.

After what feels like hours, you pull away from his grasp. “You’re so stupid,” you blurt out, but the statement is void of malice as your voice trembles. 

“Who’s the idiot who left for so many years and didn’t even try to call me?”

You wipe the tears from your eyes, slapping his arm as you try to calm yourself down. “About that…my mother told me you changed your phone and gave me your new number, but when I tried calling it an old man answered every time. Last night I was clearing my messages but I accidentally tapped into your contact, and then it finally hit me that she gave me a number with one wrong digit. I swear I wanted to call you.” 

“You’re an idiot.’

“But I’m your idiot, aren’t I?”

Jungwon doesn’t answer, but you can feel the fondness practically radiating off him as he squeezes your shoulders. “Very funny, Y/n. Go in, you’ve got stuff to do tomorrow.” Just before you disappear into the apartment, you feel a hand block the door from shutting entirely. “I’ll, uh. Call you tomorrow morning. Just in case your alarm clock doesn’t go off, or you roll out of bed, or-”

“Jungwon.”

“Right.” He breathes out, hand slipping through the small crack of the door to pat your head. “Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight, Jungwon.”

“Sweet dreams.”

“You too.”

“Don’t fall off the bed.”

“I won’t.”

“Don’t sleepwalk.”

“I don’t sleepwalk, you know that.”

“Fine.” As he leaves with a little wave, you pretend to close your door, before poking your head out to watch his silhouette grow smaller as he walks down the corridor. Chuckling to yourself, you finally go inside to wash up and get ready for bed. Tomorrow is another day, one with Jungwon in it. And that alone, and the knowledge that every day from this day forth will never again be void of his presence by your side, is enough to give you the courage to live for tomorrow.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

a/n: so you got to the end! congratulations and condolences. this was an absolute roller coaster and i think i screwed up any semblance of a motif. positive criticism is very much welcome. heck, i think i'll take even the hate, it's all in good fun. yeah nO. i'd be lying if i said i were proud of this but hey, i'll just come up with something better. sorry it took SO LONG, my priorities are a mess. i have more planned. never again will i do something like this, leaving the comedy/fluff to someone else hurhur.

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