#I KNOW IT'S 2 AM

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[tsotc]

fucking obsessed with the uni town i live in

#the char is a lifesize cardboard cutout from what we could see from the ground. obsessed #APPARENTLY the people who im stranded on on a road trip rn know who owns char. hes handmade #edit: the owner has been in contact :D #ALSO YES THIS IS IN WALES. IM WELSH. i saw him again on my snack run to spar at ~2:30 am and it made me smile. hi char

[bigweldindustries]

going through the hades 2 stuff and im sorry but i just have to ramble a second because look at Hephaestus

he's not just a wheelchair user but also an amputee. an above knee amputee. wheelchair users are already next to nonexistant in video games but amputees exist in this really...disheartening? spot where they're pretty much just reduced to "person with a cybernetic limb" - it's always just somewhere from "just a cool visual design" to flat out "superpower". I can't think of a video game amputee that is actually disabled by their limb differences - I'm all for futuristic worlds where prosthetics and other disability aids are far advanced from what they are now, but that's not really what's implied by these designs. They're just... Cool designs that in no way reflect on the real-world experience of being an amputee.

Look at Hephaestus, though. Look at that prosthetic. Whilst stylised it very much looks like it functions like common mechanical knees - knee bends when thigh is lifted, knee straightens when thigh is lowered. He's a wheelchair user as well as a prosthetic user - every prosthetic user I know is also a wheelchair user as a prosthetic is not usable in every occasion and also cause exhaustion and pain if used constantly.

Whilst we can't see much of his wheelchair the position he's sat in and the wheels very much evoke active wheelchair to me - this carries on to very specifically the thickness of his arms. Whilst a lot of Hades designs are muscular Hephaestus has very noticeably thick arms - which makes sense, as active wheelchairs require a lot of arm strength.

Just overall this design is making me want to cry - he's not just an actual wheelchair user in a video game, he's a realistic depiction of an amputee, a disability usually brushed over in order to give a character a fun design quirk and nothing else. He's fat and he's hot and he's a realistic depiction of an above knee amputee. Oh my god. Oh my god?

#axel grinds on #hades 2 #hephaestus hades #sorry i need to get this out of my system im going to eat my ELBOWS #i am not an amputee myself #but my dad is an above knee amputee and i know many amputees through him #and i just need to point out. this design. this DESIGN

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

#getou suguru #kaneki ken #abyss twin #i know there are others who im not thinking of rn #feel free to reblog with more examples #aphelion.txt #tropes #WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE #jaina proudmoore #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #phosphophyllite #i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc #I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories #despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc #like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty #edit: #also just know that i am reading every tag on this post #and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr #so i can check out their series later #edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers #the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me #wwx #how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx

[hansoeii]

dear ed, I love everything about you.

#THE TEASER #I AM NOT OKAY #AHHHH #I was so nervous today that I had to draw something to calm my nerves #THEY'RE COMING BACK TO ME!! #i do not know why ed is wearing buttons shirt in that oen promo pic but i liek the vibe #ofmd #ofmd 2 #our flag means death #our flag emans death season 2 #ofmd fanart #ofmd s2 fanart #our flag means death fanart #stede bonnet #ed teach #gentlebeard #gentlebeard fanart #my art #digital art

[snek-eyes]

The fact that Aziraphale emerges from this flashback

Makes this face

and then with a ginormous gap on the right side of the screen, proceeds to be like "I must call Crowley right now immediately."

#I believe that Aziraphale in s2 is just as worried as Crowley is #he's just shoving it as far as possible under his little hat #good omens 2 #v watches good omens #Aziraphale #I Know Where I'm Going #The Resurrectionists #i am this close to analyzing the screen composition during their phonecall because it's. interesting. #started thinking about this scene when they mentioned changing the weather based on Aziraphale's mood #good omens meta #more in the notes

[hateliers]

everyone on this site loves talking abt divorce so i wanna see something

#polls #radio transmissions #i am a child of divorce and i <3 divorce its the best thing that happened 2 my parents after me. so i wanna know

[bisexualbvck]

#I need to know! because my sister saying there is a generational gap between us when I am only 2 years older #because I called it a pound sign and she proceeded to tell me it is a hashtag #and I wondered if I should physically fight her lol #polls #my polls

[ayo-edebiri]

GOOD OMENS (2019 - )

1.04 - 2.06

#good omens spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens #goodomensedit #byaurore #userpayton #david tennant #michael sheen #tuserpris #tusercora #tuserrobin #tuserrachel #tuserhan #userzo #usergiu #usersaoirse #noalook #usertom #it's 7:30 am i don't even know my own name anymore

[kirkwall]

why are ppl out there going "this thing is canon" "that thing is canon" in regards to bg3. who hurt you that you need to canonize things in an rpg with thousands of choices this badly

#i promise you will not die if the thing you really love is not canon #every day i am going thru dragon age discourse 2: electric boogaloo #nina talks #nina plays bg3 #let me know if u want me to tag this as discourse bc trust me i get it

[mossflower]

i love eda. my girl took a random demon home as a pet then realised he was sentient and spent 8 years calling him her roommate before she adopted him. and then she found out he was jesus

#trying to finish my rewatch and i think i’ll make it!! #o titan is the last s2 episode i have to finish cause i watched clouds + kings tide when the discord server streamed them #and then it’s just ttt and ftf. and then sleep. because the episode airs at 2:30 am for me and i know i won’t be sleeping afterwards #toh #the owl house

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[averageludwig]

Its my birthday.... so I get to draw demoman as meiko..... !!!!

#tf2 #art #fanart #team fortress 2 #tf2 demoman #averiart #I am not 16 I am still 12 in my head #I am going insane #I dont know where the meiko and demo thing came from but its so real and makes so much sense. #drrink buddies or soemthigngggg #I AM EXHAUSTED #meiko vocaloid #this was inspired by rainelyn00 s ART BTWWW check them out!!!!

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[raggedy-spaceman]

S02E04 Fun and Games

I'm a mess don't talk to me don't look at me don't touch me. They care. They actually care.

#ofmd #ofmd 2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #our flag means death 2 #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2 #our flag means death s2 #izzy hands #con o'neill #for the new unicorn #are you kidding me #how am i supposed to survive this #this is all i've ever wanted #izzy finally knowing that he is LOVED #I'm going to cry forever goodbye #mine

[m0us34rt]

Movie of the year (calling it now)

#lisa frankenstein #I would like to post this on Instagram but I’m building it back from the ground up.. #I saw this movie the day it premiered and am planning to see it 1-2 more times because I LOVE IT. #the kiss klimt #I don’t know why I didn’t finish the details on the creature but at this point I don’t want to go back. also statue correlations??? #diablo cody