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egrets-not-regrets · 2 days

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Guesthouse of the (Lost) Astartes: To Render Aid (4)

Erriox and Lenora provide aid to a lost chaos space marine and his young bonded human.

Dialogue spoken in Gothic are bolded and italicized.

Author’s Note: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

I am finally done! That was such a ride. This last chapter is a big one with a word count of almost 4900. A few comments on this chapter: Big bad scary chaos space marine is soft for his (mate, wife) bonded human. Malaran is Ben's ride or die buddy, and also has very little filter. Apparently, being an aunt by space marine is a thing now. I have a bunch more of silly comments in my head for this chapter. Let me know if you guy want to see these comments.

Thank you @squishyowl for making the fic dividers!

Enjoy!

Tagged:

@kit-williams, @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @shadowfirecat,

@gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @bispecsual

“Ben?” Both Lenora and Ben turned to the sound of the voice.

“Mom!” Ben cried, running towards her, “Mom!”

Amelia braced herself against the impact, laughing tearfully as her son ran into her arms. She hugged him tightly, “Ben! Oh Ben! I missed you so much!”

She had absolutely zero clue on how her son even managed to find his way here, let alone escaping out from under her ex and his family’s noses. But she didn’t care. He’s here, her boy is here!

Ben buried his face in her shirt, wetting it with his tears, “Mom! I missed you! I missed you so much!”

“I looked for you for so long!” He wailed.

Amelia’s heart shattered at her child’s cries. She tightened her grasp, apologizing over and over in weepy whispers, “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, Ben! I tried! I tried to…Oh! I’m so sorry!” Hugging him tightly like it was her last day on earth.

Amelia desperately wanted to tell Ben how she tried again and again to visit and see him, each time only to end up blocked by her ex-husband’s family or his Black Templar Astartes. The gifts and letters she tried to pass onto him. How Alcyon managed to catch her ex unguarded and intimidated him enough to let her visit once more outside their home and give one last gift to him. How the Black Templar soon patrolled the school as well after that. She wanted to say how the judge ruled custody in her ex’s favour after Alcyon’s fight with the templar at Ben’s school. How they were then ordered by the Warsmith and the local Chapter Master not to contact him again, her own son, for the sake of keeping peace. She wanted to tell Ben so many things so badly, so he could understand that she had tried so hard and had never ever stopped loving her baby.

“I love you so so much, Ben.” Amelia mumbled into his hair.

What did it matter? She had still suddenly disappeared from Ben’s life without a word. God only knows what her ex’s family told him, given how much they disliked her. Her heart bled with regret. She could never apologize enough for not being able to fight harder for him. But now that Ben is here, she could make up for the lost time as much as possible.

“I love you, Mom.” Amelia laughed, full of joyful tears, when Ben gave her an extra squeeze.

But HOW did he get here? She wondered.

Eric’s voice drew her out of her thoughts, “Hey Amelia.” Passing her and Ben a box of tissue, which both gratefully accepted.

Amelia blew her nose and wiped her tears, noticing the other woman standing there with them. She smiled kindly at her, then gestured to Ben and Eric, “Let’s clean up a bit first before we continue. Eric, mind showing Ben to the bathroom?”

Once refreshed, Amelia asked her, unsure of who she was and what relation she had with her son, “You’re…”

“I’m Lenora.” She shook Amelia’s hand.

“Amelia.” She replied, “How did you meet my son? You brought him here, right?”

Lenora nodded, “Yes, well… Erriox, my Astartes, brought Ben and his Astartes to my home.”

Amelia encouraged her to continue as they sat together in the waiting hall, Ben curled up against her, “They were caught in a snowstorm when Erriox found them and led them to our house.” Lenora decided to skip the part where Ben caught hypothermia and needed first aid for now. Amelia already felt guilty enough, no need for her to add more worries to her plate.

“We found out that Ben was looking for you, but he and Orca were being hunted down by the Black Templar. It was only a matter of time before he would come knocking at our door as well.”

“Orca is…”

“Orca is Ben’s bonded Astartes.” Lenora confirmed. Amelia laughed quietly. Of course Ben would name his Astartes after some sea creature.

Lenora sighed, watching the boy start to nod off, “Ben told us that you were bonded to a chaos space marine. And luckily, between Orca and Erriox, they were able to figure out that it was brother Alcyon. So we made our way here to Steelix Fortress.”

Ben piped up, “We were chased by that asshole!”

“That asshole?” Amelia wondered, “You mean…”

“The Black Templar.” Lenora clarified.

“He was so close to catching us, but Ms. Lenora did this really cool Fast and Furious thing to avoid him! And Orca and Erriox jumped him and they started fighting!”

Lenora internally cringed at that, Ben’s mom really did not need to know how they drifted a truck and nearly careened off the road. So much for that.

“Erriox and Mal…Orca, they’re still out there fighting…” An uncomfortable anxiousness crept into her veins. So much so that she almost forgot to use Ben’s given name for the Black Legionnaire.

“Fighting the Black Templar, huh?” Amelia sullenly added.

“Yes.”

Amelia laughed with bitter admiration, “That Astartes is nothing if not doggedly dedicated to his cause with a one-track mind to succeed in his mission.”

“I’m sorry. That probably doesn’t relieve your fears.“ she added remorsefully.

Lenora stared at the distant entryway of the medical wing, mumbling, “I hope they’ll be okay.”

Ben piped up, “They can take him. Orca can take him.” He said with the utmost faith. Lenora wished she could believe the same. It’s been a long time since they had parted and yet Erriox and Malaran weren’t here yet. Two arms wrapped around her neck as Ben hugged her, “They’ll beat him. I know they will!”

She smiled sadly as she hugged him back, “Thanks Ben. I really needed that.” Just have to hang onto that spark of faith and trust that Ben’s intuition is correct. Right?

The boy then went back to his mother’s side, asking her, “Mom, is Brother Alcyon who you live with? Was that what you meant by the kingfisher?”

Amelia blinked, surprised at her son managing to find out where, rather who, she meant, “Yes, Kingfisher is Alcyon. How did you figure it out?”

“Ms. Lenora told me.” Amelia chuckled at Ben’s answer, “she’s a wildlife biologist who works with birds!” he answered proudly.

Lenora laughed, appreciating Amelia’s play on her Astartes’ name, “It made sense once Osteron told me who you were bonded to. For a little while, I was worried that we would have to check every area where kingfishers were known to be nesting outside the fortress.”

“You’ve seen actual kingfishers?” Amelia asked.

“Yes! There are at least one or two pairs that nest along the river just outside of the base. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to take you to see them at some point.”

Ben begged, “Please, mom?”

Amelia smiling, agreed, and traded contact information with the other woman.

**************

By the time Alcyon arrived, the two Astartes warriors were trudging on the road towards the fortress. The disgruntled Black Legionary dragging his feet, looking off-balanced, and his sullen loyalist battle-brother carrying the comatose body of the Black Templar over his shoulder. All of them looked like something a wayward Heldrake dragged in.

“Khornate idiot!” He heard his battle-brother hiss at the Black Legionnaire.

“Trench Skaven!” The chaos Astartes hissed back, spitting a clod of blood onto the snow, “If your Warmaster wasn’t so soft, we would have killed him and be done with it!”

“Orders are orders! The warmaster needed him alive to find a way out of this mess! If you hadn’t so carelessly engaged the templar earlier, you wouldn’t be in this state!” Erriox argued.

“Enough.” Alcyon commanded, “Brother Erriox, pick up the pace.” He went to support the wounded chaos marine, “We will follow.”

They soon made their way to the fortress. Luckily, Malaran’s injuries eventually healed enough that he could jog unassisted. The group went straight to the medical bay, dropping off the Black Templar with the order of binding and securing the unconscious Astartes as soon as possible, then quickly left to seek out their bonded humans.

Malaran, now that the haze of bloodthirst and battle faded away, was suddenly reminded of Ben’s mission. He asked his fellow chaos Astartes, “You are bonded to Ben’s mother, are you not?”

Alcyon confirmed his identity.

Malaran rounded on the chaos Iron Warrior, voicing his displeasure, “Tell me, why did she not return to see her son at school? Did she know how much distress she caused him?”

Alcyon straightened to his full height and snarled at the still-injured Black Legionnaire, his red lenses flared with annoyance, “It was the corpse-damned Black Templar! In the last several months, he patrolled the area around the house, cutting us off from seeing the child there. Then he started doing the same at the school. My human begged him and that blasted family. Begged. Him. To see her son, to pass on whatever gifts and letters she had for him. Whatever they did with those gifts and letters, we never knew, but it was clear the child never received them.”

His voice lowered in volume, remembering that they were in the medical wing of the base, “I could not stand for such insult. That was her son, not that damned son of Dorn’s! We fought, which had us banned from the school grounds. Of course, humans do not look upon chaos warriors favourably.” Alcyon scowled, his one good eye glared at the floor in front of them as he remembered the utter heartbreak in Amelia’s eyes when she found out what happened. She couldn’t bear to look at him, let alone be around him, for days after that incident. It hurt. More than a chainsword carving through his chest.

He growled, his anger flaring, “We were then ordered not to contact the child anymore lest the Black Templars decide to start a crusade against us. So do not even DARE accuse my bonded of not trying find a way to see him!”

“But since you have bonded to her son and brought him back, I will forgive your insult this once, but if your actions so much as put her and her son in jeopardy, or tarnish her name,… I will put you down myself.” Alcyon threatened. Erriox was surprised at how fiercely protective his battle-brother was of his bonded human over such a short period of time. To be fair, he would have perhaps done the same in his situation. His brother’s record of events did answer his question with regards to the templar’s accusation though.

Malaran scoffed, “I am the last person you need to say that to. You take me for a fo—?” His rant was cut short by Erriox knocking his chestplate.

“Shut it. They’re here.” The Iron Warrior scolded him as they caught sight of the two chatting women and the child with them.

“Orca!” Ben called out, running up to meet him. Alcyon snorted at the name. Malaran ignored him, wincing as his gut wound complained when he knelt down to receive his human’s embrace. Ben threw his arms around him and buried his face in Malaran’s neck. He looked at his injuries and the cracked armour, upset at his current state, “You’re hurt!”

“I am fine.” He crooned, nuzzling to soothe his young charge. He purred, rumbling deeply, happy to see his youngling safe and sound.

“Mom! This is Orca! He’s my space marine! He’s the one who helped me!” Ben said proudly. Malaran couldn’t help but preen at the tone of pride in his youngling’s voice. Amelia walked over to the pair, standing in front of the kneeling chaos marine. To his surprise, she hugged him, her voice tearful but happy, “Thank you, Orca. Thank you for caring for Ben and bringing him back to me.”

She was Ben’s mother. He recognized her mild floral scent from the momento Ben carried. Malaran didn’t understand all of what she said, but he understood that she was grateful to be reunited with her son. But why was she crying? Did he do something wrong?

Confused, Malaran leaned his head against hers and purred, going by instinct as that was what usually helped quell Ben’s tears when he cried. Amelia gave a small laugh before releasing him, “I’m okay, but thank you again for sticking by him.”

“She’s alright. She said she is grateful to you for staying with her son.” Alcyon translated, his gaze noticeably softened as his mechanical claw tenderly touched Amelia’s cheek, catching the tear threatening to run down. She patted the claw in thanks and gave him a watery smile. The chaos Iron Warrior recognized the boy from the many times he watched his bonded meet with him at the school. He mostly stayed out of sight during those times for Amelia’s sake, but close enough that he could easily protect her should she run into trouble. His bonded placed her hands on her son’s shoulders to turn and face him. She smiled warmly at Ben and then at him, “This is Alcyon. He is my bonded Astartes.”

Ben looked up at him. Alcyon was a tall Iron Warrior, reminding him of the kind apothecary he just met, Osteo-something. But much more fearsome. His scowling face was heavily scarred, his right eye was replaced by a collection of red lenses, a deep cut ran down the left side, splitting open his top lip, exposing a glint of sharp teeth underneath. There was a shallow nub on the left side of his forehead where it seemed there was once a horn that was cut off.

His modified armour and his mechanical limbs only added to his frightening appearance. His left arm was replaced by a large claw and a large mechanized limb replaced his right leg just above the knee. Ben couldn’t believe that he was related to Erriox or the apothecary. Whereas Erriox looked stern and strict, and the apothecary looked kind; Alcyon looked scary, even scarier than Orca when he’s angry.

Swallowing his fear, Ben asked the hulking chaos marine, “Are you Kingfisher?”

Alcyon knelt, getting a good look at Ben, though still towering over the boy, “Yes, Kingfisher is the name your mother gave me.”

“Thank you. For keeping my mom safe.” Ben said, meeting his gaze bravely.

Satisfied, Alcyon huffed and stood up once more, gently ruffling Ben’s hair with his gauntlet-covered hand.

“Your mother is my bond-mate. Protecting her is my duty.” Came his stalwart answer.

Erriox quietly went over to Lenora where she was watching the reunited family. He pulled her against his armour in a close embrace. She hugged him, giving him a tired smile, glad that he was finally there. He was here, safe and sound, in one piece, with her.

Her hand caressed the remnants of the recent battle on his chest armour, “I was so worried...” Her voice dropped to a murmur, her voice tight with emotion, “The last I saw you were fighting… and then we waited for such a long time… I was scared that you wouldn’t… I thought…”

Erriox quickly shut her up with a kiss, a brow twitching in annoyance when he heard Eric’s whispered cheer. He quickly turned, using his body to shield Lenora from everyone’s view. His gauntleted hand gently brushed away her tears as she leaned into his touch.

Clutching her tightly in his arms, he kissed her again, this time deeply and all-consuming, “Have faith in me, Lenora. I will come home to you.” Erriox vowed into her lips. It would take more than just a Black Templar to stop him.

“You better.” She kissed him back, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, pulling him ever closer for as much as his armour allowed. Desperately clinging to her Iron Warrior as if whatever entity that sent him to her will take him away if she didn’t. He only held her tighter and pushed his kiss deeper.

“Ms. Lenora!”

They broke off from each other at the sound of her name. Erriox quickly set her down and Lenora wiped her mouth before meeting the rest of the group, trying to ignore the swelling of her lips.

Ben rushed forward and hugged her tightly, almost knocking her off-balance had not Erriox braced her from behind.

“Thank you! You and Erriox! Thank you for helping me find my mom.” He mumbled into her chest. Lenora’s heart melted. She hugged him back, giving the boy a good squeeze, “You’re very welcome, Ben. Be good and take care of yourself, hm?” She mumbled into his hair.

Erriox reached over and patted the boy affectionately on the head, “You are welcome.”

“You might as well fuck her while you were at it.” Malaran snickered. Lenora's ears burned with that remark. Amelia blushed.

Erriox glared at him and growled threateningly, “Keep your comments to yourself, cousin. Don’t make me regret helping you.” Protectively looming over his human.

Alcyon elbowed the Black Legionary harshly, “Don't be so vulgar in front of my mate.”

“Your what?” Malaran’s mind came to a screeching halt.

“My. Mate. Did the templar hit you so hard that you have gone deaf?” Alcyon icily responded, resting his right hand against the base of Amelia’s back.

That was unexpected. The Iron Warrior certainly usurped the former husband’s position quickly, Malaran thought. The Black Legionnaire doubted that Ben would have known about this. He was about to ask, but thought better of it; this farce has gone on long enough for one day and he would like to spend time with his youngling now that this debacle was over. A moment of uncertainty ran through him, would this mean his position of Ben’s bonded was in danger too? His hands itched to bring Ben back to his side. He hissed lowly at the chaos Iron Warrior, reminding him, “Do not dare steal my youngling away from me.”

Alcyon glanced at Malaran, offended at his presumption, “You have nothing to worry about unless you foolishly put them in danger.”

Lenora shook her head, looking away from the two chaos space marines, “I think these boys are ready to head home and be done with it.” She chuckled to Amelia, then ruffling Ben’s hair goodnaturedly, the boy yawning mid-giggle, “This one too.”

She turned to Erriox, “Let’s go home?”

He was about to agree when Osteron walked up to the group, a warm smile on the apothecary’s face, “Hello Amelia, I’m glad you have your boy back.”

Amelia smiled at him, “Hello Osteron. Yes, I’m very thankful.”

He addressed the group, “It is rather late, so it is best to stay at the base and leave the next morning. You ladies and Ben here could stay in Brother Erriox’s and Brother Alcyon’s rooms. Brother Malaran, we will make arrangements for you to stay as well.”

He then addressed the three Astartes, irritation evident in his voice, “You three, tracking dirt and blood all over my clean medbay,…” Even Alcyon stiffened slightly at the change of tone, “Report to the Warmaster on today’s events then report back to me. You will spend your time cleaning up every speck of debris and stain in my medbay to my standard before you leave.”

“Yes sir.”

Malaran groaned and was about to argue, but Alcyon told him to shut up, “Don’t. It will only make it worse.” He said.

“Are you in trouble?” Ben asked worriedly.

Osteron chuckled, “It is nothing terrible. These boys made a big mess in the medical bay and now are going to clean it up. They will be back with you after they are finished.”

Malaran huffed and patted Ben’s head, purring and promising in Gothic to return to him as soon as he was done.

Lenora giggled at Malaran’s grumbling before turning to Erriox, “Don’t get into more trouble now.” She joked.

Her Iron Warrior huffed, side-eyeing the Black Legionary, “I can’t promise you that.”

Erriox kissed her brow and then her lips, “I will return.” He promised.

Lenora kissed him back, “One more for good luck.” She smiled. He smirked.

“We’ll see you later then?” Amelia asked Alcyon quietly.

“Yes, I will be with you soon.” Alcyon, almost bent double, pressed his forehead to hers. Amelia smiled and quickly touched her nose against his, “See you then.”

“Rest well.” With one last caress, the chaos Iron Warrior turned to follow his battle-brothers.

****************

Lenora walked Amelia and Ben to Alcyon’s suite.

“So… like… Is Alcyon going to be my new dad?” Ben asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

“You want him to be?” Amelia answered.

Ben shrugged, “Don’t you like each other though?” Recalling how Alcyon acted towards his mom.

Amelia paused, confused and slightly concerned, “Yes, but that doesn’t make him your dad. What if your teacher and I like each other, would you start calling him dad?”

“No, but he’s probably better than my actual dad though.” Ben replied, making a face, he couldn’t picture his teacher and his mom together. He understood her point though.

“Alcyon is a space marine. He’s our protector, but I’m not sure he’s um… ready for you to be calling him ‘dad’.” She wasn’t sure how to feel about Alcyon in all this, to be honest. He was intimidating, at some points can be very frightening, and was weird about certain things, being unaccustomed to what humans here take for granted. But on the other hand, Alcyon was incredibly devoted to her, fiercely so. He was so different, and was so much more than everything she found lacking in her previous relationship. Amelia had to admit that she did love him in the short time they were together and that their relationship was intensely… romantic? But the fact remains that the emotional wounds left by her ex were too raw, too recent. She didn’t want to use Alcyon and to think of him as simply a rebound or a temporary band aid solution to that emotional trauma. The topic of fatherhood? Yeah, she’s definitely not ready to touch that conversation at all.

Lenora stepped in, “Ben, maybe hold off on calling anyone your dad. Orca might feel real weird about that.” She figured that would likely cause conflict between the two chaos space marines, considering how overprotective and clingy Malaran was of Ben. Chances are, Malaran would be upset and jealous of Ben’s relationship with the chaos Iron Warrior if that’s the case. The thought of Malaran begrudgingly calling Alcyon “dad” was very funny though.

The boy agreed and decided to drop the topic. He hadn’t even considered how Orca would feel. Another question nagged his mind, “Ms. Lenora, since Erriox is Alcyon’s brother and Orca’s cousin, can I call you ‘Aunt Lenora’?”

Lenora stared, trying to find the correct words to say. She looked helplessly at Ben’s mother who only giggled at them. She tried to explain, “Erriox is not actually related to them, you know? Kind of like in certain cultures where I would call another woman, like your mum, “sister”; but she’s not actually related to me.”

“But that means I can still call you Aunt Lenora even though you’re not really related to me if Erriox calls Orca, his cousin. You’re much better than my actual aunts.” Ben countered.

Lenora laughed, she couldn’t fault his logic and she couldn’t say no to the little bit of flattery at the end. An aunt by space marine, she is then.

“I suppose.” She said exasperatedly and fondly, “You can call me Aunt Lenora.”

Ben cheered. By that time they had arrived at Alcyon’s room. Amelia turned and hugged Lenora tightly, “Thank you so much, Lenora. Thank you for bringing Ben back to me. I thought I lost him for good. I owe you so much for this.” She said, heart full and feeling eternally grateful to the other woman.

Lenora hugged her tightly back, giving Amelia a comforting squeeze, “It’s all good, don’t you worry about owing anything silly like that. Just take care of yourselves. I’ll probably see you around the base sometime.”

She pulled away a little, suddenly remembering something, “I put some extra toiletries in Ben’s backpack. So if he’s looking for a toothbrush or something, it should be in there.”

Amelia hugged Lenora again, she couldn’t be ever more grateful to her, “Thank you so much.You really didn’t have to.”

“It’s fine. I have extras anyway.”

“You’re the best, Aunt Lenora.” Ben said, his voice muffled as he burrowed in to join in on the hug. Lenora just laughed, her tiredness briefly forgotten with the boy’s enthusiasm. She clutched them both tightly once more before taking her leave.

“I’ll see you guys around.”

Mother and son watched Lenora leave before entering Alcyon’s room. His room was relatively spartan. The only evidence that he was bonded to a human was the soft dark green fleece blanket on his bed and a few stems of dried Achillea millefolium flowers and dandelions tied together in a small bouquet on his desk.

Once inside, Ben dug through his backpack, pulling out spare clothes, more snacks and sandwiches, a large bottle of water, a bag of toiletries, a ziploc bag with some first aid items, among other things. Ben gasped when he pulled out a copied set of Blue Planet DVDs and a letter folded inside one of the DVD cases.

“In case you end up somewhere safe and able to find a DVD player. Enjoy the Blue Planet series! They are very good and I think you’ll like them. I don’t know where you and Orca plan to go after this, but I hope this pack will be enough supplies for a little while. At least until you get to another safe place. Good luck! I hope you find your mom. - Lenora”

That woman gave her son so much. Amelia didn’t think the kindness of strangers would stretch this far as she had already done so much for them. Amelia decided then that she would at least treat Lenora to dinner next time she sees her.

****************

Mother and son were sleeping peacefully by the time the two chaos marines returned to Alcyon’s room. Malaran’s first instinct was to gather the boy and bring him with him to his room, but thought better of it.

“Let them sleep. I will be with them. Come join us again in seven hours.” Alcyon told him. The Black Legionnaire nodded as he retired to his own room for the night.

Alcyon stripped down to his body suit. Sitting at his desk, he switched out his heavy leg prosthetic for a lighter one and then took off his metal claw. It was only when he lived with Amelia that he started doing this, not wanting to accidently nick her again during their sleep. Human skin and flesh tears so easily. After the first couple of scars he made, Alcyon became much more careful using his claw around her, something he would never have considered for anyone, let alone a baseline human.

He slipped into the bed behind Amelia, his tall bulk protectively blocking them both should a threat enter from the doorway. He watched his human’s son sleeping deeply, nestled into the curve of her body. Reporting to the Warmaster had been interesting, piecing together the events between him, Malaran and Erriox. The Warmaster was deeply unimpressed and grumbled about a can of worms under his breath. In the end, Amelia was able to reunite with her son, which was all that mattered to him. This time, he will make sure to keep his this little family together, to make up for his past mistake to his dear mate. He will destroy anything and anyone who dares threaten his peace.

“Kingfisher?” came Amelia’s whisper. It was a strange name, but he didn’t mind it, though only she was allowed to call him that.

The chaos Iron Warrior rumbled a low affirmative, feeling her body sag in relief against him. He brushed her hair back delicately, pressing a kiss to the shell of her exposed ear, drawing out a blissful sigh. Her head tilted to reverently place a kiss to the skin of his arm stump where it met the metal attachment point for his claw. Alcyon hummed with quiet satisfaction, not daring to purr, lest he wakes up the boy. He wrapped his arm around Amelia, listening to their steady heartbeats as he closed his eye.

*****************

The mattress dipped with his weight as Erriox joined her. Lenora hummed in comfort as she felt his warm body curl around her and his rumbling purr vibrate down her back, relaxing as the exhaustion of the day’s events caught up to her. Erriox kissed the nape of her neck and nuzzled into her hair, inhaling her scent. She drowsily looked up at him, exhaling a sigh of contentment, “You’re back. It’s good to see you.”

“I’ve returned.” Erriox replied, his voice soft as his hand drifted along her exposed throat; memorizing the feel of her pulse and the warmth of her skin. He tilted her head back, kissing her languidly before pulling her closer to himself. “Don’t ever drive like that again.” He grumbled, closing his eyes and draping his arm over her. Lenora laughed in acknowledgment and intertwined her fingers with his, bringing his hand up to her chest as she drifted off to sleep.

#warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry #space marine husbandry sentience #iron warriors #black legion #oc: erriox #oc: lenora #oc: malaran blackspike #oc: ben #oc: alcyon #oc: amelia plover

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skania · 2 days

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OnK Chapter 149

I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me because I’m always complaining about Aka’s writing, but…

And I mean it when I say that I expect nothing 😭 This was literally my first ever OnK-related reblog and its tags are more relevant than ever lmao

These, too:

#honestly I didn’t think too hard about any of this during my first read #because the romantic endgame seems so obvious that it kind of discourages guessing lmao #but re-reading these chapters has made me appreciate Aqua’s side of his bond with Akane a lot more

Back when I first got into OnK, I mentioned that Akane was the entire reason I kept reading the manga. I didn’t care about the romantic subplot, found Aqua/Kana extremely obvious and predictable, and Aqua plain boring.

It’s only during my second read that I paid close attention to Akane’s interactions with Aqua and I ended up playing myself into both, caring about Aqua and shipping him with Akane lol

This chapter has made me realize that despite everything, I'm not emotionally invested in whether they end up together or not. I’d prefer it, obviously, because Aqua truly is at his most interesting whenever he’s around Akane, and their dynamic has the best development in the manga (so far).

But it’s just like I said before: If they don’t end up together, that’s just Aka’s loss, not mine. I’m just here for Akane 😂

And as an Akane fan, I feel like the best thing for me to do right now is to just take a step back and watch things unfold, because Aka will do whatever he wants regardless of how any of us interpret his manga lol

So instead of posting the long post I originally wrote about this chapter when the leaks came out, I'll just share a a clown gif because in hindsight it was silly of me to expect Kana out of all people to have any sort of meaningful insight into Aqua 🤡

And a couple of things that caught my eye because I can't help myself:

Kana didn't even see Aqua and Akane have any sort of meaningful moment, just those two standing in each other's vicinity was enough to make her throw herself a pity party. How many more times is she going to pity herself and give up? How has Aka not tired of writing her this way? Where did her development from the Scandal arc go? 🤡

So Chapter 147 featured Kamiki thinking Ai doesn't love him and Kana thinking Aqua likes her. It even had a helpful "Cut 139: Misunderstanding" panel and everything. Will this mean something? Who knows!

Kana used guilt-trip! It was super effective!

Oh the irony! Poor Akane looks like she's been hard at work convincing herself that she's over Aqua. And you know what? I cheer for her and respect her energy 100%. I'd rather see her doing her mightiest to help him without any ulterior motives than to have her crying for him and hoping to get back with him every other chapter lol

Akane calling Kana out for her pity-party and for being cowardly was so cathartic that if I didn't already stan her, I'd have become a fan right now 😭 It also means that Aka is 100% aware of the way he writes Kana, so when will she finally be allowed to grow?

Kana's praise to Akane made me so sad though because yes, Akane is pretty and she's talented and she's kind. That's sweet of her to say. But that's not what made Akane someone special to Aqua: it was the way she understood him. The worst part is that Kana ends her praise by saying that Akane is a "goody-two-shoes" but... that's the opposite of how Akane views herself. She sees herself as someone who's not decent and not normal. So it's no wonder that while she gets flustered (it's her dear kana-chan praising her), she seems to get a bit sad/frustrated afterward. After all, for Akane it's probably the opposite. Men would prefer a decent, normal, bright girl like Kana - Aqua included.

I wish someone would tell Akane that she is too ignorant of her own charms and that she doesn't have to act like an adult all the time. Truly the pot calling the kettle black! Sadly, unlike Kana, Akane seems to have no one in her corner in this manga. Aqua was the only one there and the poor guy is barely even a character anymore lol

Overprotective mother or controlling ex-girlfriend? Take your pick!

The English translation left something pretty important out in these panels. Akane doesn't just say "if you have a girlfriend", she says "if you have a precious/important girlfriend". This distinction is very important because it goes to show that... as expected, Akane doesn't think she was an important girlfriend to Aqua. It's like she didn't count and Kana would be the real deal. Oh, Akane...

Which takes me to her very silly, very convoluted yet very predictable plan (in true Aka fashion).

When Akane thinks “I know exactly what you hate”, I imagine she means that Aqua hates hurting and endangering those he cares for. So I'm guessing Akane thinks that if she plays matchmaker and quite literally throws Kana at him, someone he has a soft spot, then Aqua won't be able to go through with his revenge because that would mean breaking Kana's very fragile heart.

In other words, it looks like Akane is going to try and use Aqua's guilt-complex against him and her weapon of choice is love. But not her love, obviously, because as far as she's concerned, her romantic love already failed to save him.

Granted, using Kana's romantic feelings to her advantage is kind of... well, wrong. To quote Akane herself, [Kana] is neither her pet nor her property, but a person. But I'm guessing that Akane may be falling victim to the same loophole she got caught in in Chapters 96 - 98. She thinks she knows what's best, so she's putting her own beliefs aside for the time being.

Kind of like Aqua, actually.

And, ironically, it's Aqua himself who first realized how easy Kana is to use.

So! All in all, I'm here for Mastermind!Akane but I hope that Aka will actually make it worth our while. Will Kana realize that she's about to be used as a chess piece in this Proxy War? Who knows, characters in this manga seem to walk in circles, only being allowed to grow when it fits the plot 😂

Last week we wondered whether Aka would subvert expectations or go the predictable route, and down the predictable route he went. His way of making it less predictable is by including a twist in the form of Akane's ulterior motives, but will this be enough to allow this ol' used trope to lead us someplace new? I guess we'll have to keep reading to find out, but given the quality of the writing lately, I'm not expecting much lol

#my aquakane meta #except not quite #being constantly let down by aka is so bittersweet because there's a part of me that's like hahaha I knew it!#while another is just like: sigh why is he always like this #I thought my expectations were already ground level but I'll lower them a bit more just in case #just please let akane keep serving #that's all I ask for #and if someone can at some point in the manga actually #you know #help her #that would be pretty cool too #because she's basically carrying the entire plot on her shoulders right now yet no one offers her any kind of emotional support at all lmao

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livwritesstuff · 18 hours

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heyo! loving the steddie dads. was wondering if either of them suffer from nightmares or ptsd after everything they've been through? and how they might deal with that on a day-to-day/anniversary basis.

Hi friend -- took some time on this one because this is a Topic for me.

Short answer – yes, 100%. I don’t think any person on the planet could experience that kind of thing and not come out of it with some serious issues to work through.

Longer answer, and not to abuse my psych degree, but it’s really tough to say how they would be affected 10, 20, 30, etc. years down the line because PTSD and trauma are both so unbelievably complex – for many reasons, but in part because PTSD can do two things (sort of) simultaneously.

Wane over time

Completely and permanently alter the “wires” (neural pathways) in your brain

I think that there’s sometimes this perception in the ST fandom that every character in the show who experienced a trauma would have PTSD by default, but that might not necessarily be true. Stats actually show that the majority of people who experience trauma in some capacity will in fact not display PTSD symptoms. I think Mike and Dustin at the onset of season 2 are a fantastic example of how two people can go through the same events together and come out of it affected very differently.

(Sidebar: I think Stranger Things has a fantastic opportunity to show how varied the effects of trauma can be. Granted, I don’t think that’s the story they’re telling, but they totally could.)

Experiencing a traumatic event is not necessarily a one-way ticket to PTSD symptoms and/or a PTSD diagnosis – to be clear, this doesn’t mean that there are not lasting negative effects from that traumatic event, but it is still distinctly different from PTSD (in its official definition) – and right now it’s not clear why this is the case.

I have individual thoughts about each character as it relates to what they specifically experience and how I think they would be affected by it long and short-term, HOWEVER I also recognize that I haven’t answered your actual question, so I digress.

Rather than dive into whether or not I think Steve and/or Eddie have PTSD, we’re just gonna call it capital-T Trauma and move along. You’re welcome.

Anyways, by the time Steve and Eddie (as they exist in this ‘verse) are in their fifties, I doubt that any residual effects of their Trauma would still be anywhere near debilitating. Generally speaking, they can go about their day-to-day lives without thinking about what they went through all that much.

I do think that those effects may temporarily worsen around anniversaries, but even that really isn’t all that noticeable by the time they hit the 2020s.

They’ll still occasionally have nightmares and I don’t think Steve ever fully lets himself believe that it’s truly done in a way that Eddie doesn’t relate to because he never had to experience what it’s like for it all to come back.

(Small potatoes, but I also don’t think Steve could ever own a dog no matter how much his daughters campaigned for a puppy when they were in elementary school).

I think the Trauma that Steve experienced shows itself in his adulthood when it comes down to raising kids.

I’ve talked before about how Steve has a moment when Moe turns ten where it kind of clicks for the first time just how young Erica had been when he allowed her to get caught up in everything. He hadn’t been able to see it until he was a fully-fledged adult raising a ten-year-old, but he gets really hung up on it, and then he spends the next few years being like – Moe’s eleven, that’s how old Eleven was when she broke out of the lab; she’s twelve, that’s how old Will was when he got stuck in the Upside Down; she’s thirteen, that’s how old Dustin was when he almost got eaten by demobats in those tunnels.

Then the girls start hitting their high school years and Steve starts realizing – oh, it wasn’t just the younger ones. I was also a kid still and put in a really fucked up position. It’s the thing that makes him truly see how few adults he had in his corner.

Eddie has a similar moment when Moe graduates high school and he realizes that his oldest daughter is as old as Chrissy ever got to be.

That being said I also don’t think Eddie gets as torn up over Chrissy as the popular opinion suggests but i’m a little afraid to voice that one lol

I definitely think Eddie and Steve never let themselves forget how Max, Chrissy, Patrick, etc. were vulnerable to Vecna’s curse because of a very specific circumstance – they were grappling with something internally that they didn’t feel they had the resources or people they trusted enough to address outwardly. Sure, they know that their kids aren’t at risk of being possessed and murdered by an evil monster, but the notion of bad things happening when people don’t have the support that they need is a very real phenomenon with very real consequences. By no means was that exclusive to Hawkins and it certainly didn’t go away with the Upside Down.

I think that this becomes the crux of Steve and Eddie’s mentality behind parenthood – to make sure that their kids never feel like they can’t go to their dads’ for support, to never allow their children to be in a position where they have to suffer in silence. That, to me, is absolutely rooted in the parts of their Trauma that re-wired their brains irreparably.

Anyhooooo this is really just the tip of the iceberg imo but this is long enough already lol (but if anyone wants to hear more about the Stranger Things-Trauma paradigm, let me know because I could probably talk about it for hours).

#sorry anon you tapped into a subject that i could probably give a ted talk on if asked nicely enough #liv’s steddie dads verse #steve harrington #eddie munson #tw: trauma #tw: ptsd

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anxiteyandsleep · 1 day

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Can you please do Claude with a reader who loves spiders?

Yes of course🙏❤ I did this more as headcanons but if you'd like an actual drabble, just ask and I will gladly do another post ! since Claude is not canon outside of the anime, I've had to make some things up😭 hope you enjoy

° Truthfully he didn't even notice you until one time he saw you gently picking a spider up and setting it outside. Naturally as the spider demon, this caught his attention and he kept an eye on you.

° Claude grew to appreciate you more over time, though he kept his appreciation silent. He'd watch you seek out knowledge of spiders in the Trancy library, making sure to leave out books that were truly educational about spiders.

°in my mind, Claude has some control over spiders, so he'll eventually send you spiders as almost a way of flirting, he'll learn your favorite species and send those the most. Of course he's careful not to send too many, he doesn't want an infestation to scare you off.

° if you have a spider/spider related tattoo??? Especially if it's somewhere private, he is immediately obsessed with it and is always stare at it (if he's able to.)

° Claude really takes his time, he's barely spoken to you but trust me, you've captured his attention and heart.

° when he finally gets around to talking to you, it's actually a bit overwhelming. Claude will reveal he's the spider demon, sayinh he's noticed your appreciation towards spiders and wants to thank you for it. ( this can be lewd or not, whatever you'd prefer )

° Now once you processed everything, Claude will want to date you, he wants you to be his. You're very precious to him. Claude is very possessive, he might buy you a necklace with a spider charm as a sort of mark to show that you're his. He'll send spiders with you wherever you go to keep an eye on you.

° Claude isn't very romantic, he will bring you sweets and tea, doing his typical butler duties but putting a little extra care for you. he might get you flowers, if he's feeling slightly romantic.

° Now if you refuse to date him right away, say you want more time to know him, he'll be a little grumpy but won't openly express it.

° however Claude will try to do as you ask, answering questions you have about him, spending what free time he has with you, etc.

#claude faustus #black butler #claude faustus x reader #male reader #kuroshitsuji #headcanons

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margareturtle · 2 days

Text

I haven’t seen this in a fic yet (pls send me links if you have!!) so I’m doing it myself:

How Jeremy+Cat+ Laila find out about the 80% deal (set after the news about Jean’s family has already been released) (pt 1)

The gang is in the kitchen:

Jeremy: Jean, I’m telling coach to bench you for just this one match! You’re sick (or minorly injured). Just take a break and you’ll be back next match!

Jean: No! I’m fine! There are scouts for Court coming to this game!

Jeremy: yes and you’re just getting over the flu (or a twisted ankle idk)! Just take a rest, the Court scouts will be back next year!

Jean: I’m good to play! I need to play! I need to sign to court!

Jeremy: And I’m sure you will be! Kevin was just signed, no one doubts you will be signed as well ! What difference does a year make?

Jean: what difference does a year— I need to prove myself or they’ll think I can’t and— I can play! I will play!

Jeremy: no— I already told the coaches you aren’t playing— they’re in support

Jean: YOU WHAT? *panicking* they’re gonna kill me they’re gonna kill me

Jeremy: *softening* oh Jean it’s ok. You’re with the trojans remember. You’re not at the nest. You’re safe. Riko is dead. Tetsuji is gone. Everyone respects your right to a break. You’re free of the Moriyamas now.

Jean: You insolent fool! I will never be free of the Moriyamas!

Jeremy: ok Jean, I know it may feel like that sometimes. But you are free with us now. There are no more Moriyamas that will hurt you.

Cat: *thinking* well there’s Ichirou

Jeremy: *glares at Cat*

Cat: what? As smart as you are Jere you still haven’t learned to take the things Jean says at face value. He just said “I will never be free of the Moriyamas”

Jeremy: yeah but that’s not— Ichirou is a business man, all he cares about is money and his new fiance!

Laila: yeah but what really is the Moriyama family business? I haven’t really thought about it before but Ichirou looks rich af so it’s gotta be smth good…Jean you must now what it is.

Jean: *doesn’t respond to non questions*

Jeremy: Come on, this isn’t related to why Jean is so freaked out he can’t play today!

Cat: judging by his silence rn it def is! So what is it Jean? What’s the Moriyama business? You must know!

Jean: *stressed* it’s not important

Laila: clearly it is, now you can tell us or I’m happy to start guessing!

Jean: don’t—

Laila: let’s see it’s prob smth shady if you won’t say. Let’s see, do they deal in exotic Animals? Is Ichirou secretly tiger king?

Jean: No?! Just stop!

Laila: Or is it some business offensive to french culture? Oh no Jean, is their business in wine? Do they sell prosecco and call it champagne?

Jean: it’s not—

Laila: Oh or it has smth to do with why you learned so many languages while you were there? They’re secretly in the spy industry training to be spies??

Jean: of course not! Now stop asking I won’t tell you.

Cat: oh jean 😭 way to get us all more intrigued.

Jeremy: yeah let’s return to the topic of—

Laila: *who’s been thinking for a sec* pfft I know *sarcastically* Ichirou is secretly a mob boss too who has been in kahoots with—

Jean: *flinches*

Laila: your dad and neil’s dad which means—

Laila: Wait what the fuck?!! I was joking—I know the Moriyama’s business is just some boring corporate shit! But you just—What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK!! You only flinch when I land spot on I—

Jean: *lunges for a knife with one hand that Jeremy catches. Lunges for his throat with the other that Cat gets a hold of first*

Laila: holy shit. No way. What. You’re kidding— I can’t. I wAs jOkinG !! Do the foxes know? Kevin must know if you do—

Laila: *picks up Jeremy’s phone he left in the kitchen counter*

Laila: *calling kevin*

(Pt 2 call with kevin coming soon)

#the sunshine court #tsc #the foxhole court #aftg #jerejean #jean moreau #jeremy knox #laila dermott #the moriyama family business #i need a fic where they find out #they’re gonna go crazy #fnenrnejwiw #andreil #catalina alvarez #alvamott #catalaila #love my fav lesbians and they’re adopted french son

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rwby-encrusted-blog · 2 days

Note

We've seen Jaune's extended family and We've seen _NPR's extended family....

BUT

What about Ozpin's extended family? I can totally see Gojo and Raiden (MGRR) being openly related to Ozpin. Gojo would DEFINITELY try and hit on Glynda just to piss of Ironwood lmao

Hmm. I dunno about Raiden. It's not just about looks, it's also about Powers, Vibes, and fighting style. Gojo Makes sense, Raiden feels more like a Schnee Cousin or one of Adam's relatives.

~~~~~

Yang: There's no way they're younger than 55.

Nora: Look at them! Look at their smooth skin and brilliant smiles and tell me that they're old!

Ozpin: Frieren, it has been too long since we last talked.

Frieren: It has been. You seem to be doing well.

Ozpin: Indeed I am. My apprentice has been doing well.

Frieren: Oh yes, that Pine boy. How old is he now?

Ozpin: Uhh ... Fourteen I believe.

Frieren: Hmm. "Time does Fly" as they say.

Ozpin: How has Fern Been?

Frieren: Very well. Developing into a fine young woman.

Ozpin: ...

Frieren: ... Your students are following us.

Ozpin: I'm quite aware.

*Bush_Rustle.MP3*

Ozpin: And now, they are not.

Frieren: I can tell. I can also tell that you are Tired.

Ozpin: I have been tired for a long time.

Frieren: ...

Ozpin: ...

Frieren: I will find a way to free you. I haven't stopped looking.

Ozpin: I know. And you know what I'll tell you about that, right?

Frieren: "I know how to free myself, I'm still just figuring it out."

Ozpin: It's good to know your memory hasn't faded with age.

Frieren: I'd say the same, but your wit is lacking it's sharpness, you foolhardy coot.

Ozpin: What can I say? It is nice to see an old friend after so many years.

Frieren: *smiling in silence*

Ozpin: *Smiling with her*

???: *Distantly* EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Ozpin: Ah, It seem is I may need to check on another visitor. Apologies for cutting our time short, but I know well we are not lacking in it's supply. Good day.

Frieren: A good day to you as well Ozma.

~~~~~

Gojo: *Laying on Ozpin's desk* Hey Hey! If it isn't the most Cursed man himself, and I've got to say, you are looking pretty alright for your age.

Ozpin: Thank you Mister Satoru. Please get out of my office.

Gojo: I'm just checkin' in, making sure you don't have anything you shouldn't. Your office seems clean!

Ozpin: I should certainly hope so. Glynda!

Gojo: Hey hey hey, There's no need to be so rough with your Cousin!

Glynda: *Lifting Gojo with her semblance* You know you aren't supposed to be in here.

Gojo: *Not resisting her* Fine, I'll go at the request of such a gorgeous lady~

Glynda: *Flinging him into the elavator* Out.

Gojo: Wait a minute!

Ozpin: WHAT!

???: *Distantly* EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Gojo: You should go check on that.

Glynda: ... That girl is infuriating.

Ozpin: Not as much as her teammates.

~~~~~~

Marcille: *Shoveling food into her mouth*

Ozpin: You must be hungry.

Marcille: *Gulp* For something Normal? Absolutely! This is like a Cheat day without Senshi to scold me for eating things that aren't balanced. *Overdramatic Sniffle* It's been so long since I had chocolate ...

Ozpin: Well ... just try not to overeat. I know it can be tempting to have more than your fill of luxury, but do try not to make yourself ill.

Marcille: ... *Sigh* Fine. How have you been?

Ozpin: Tired, but things have been improving. It is nice to see you again my dear.

Marcille: "My Dear"? You are old.

Ozpin: Yes, yes I am. How has Falin been recovering?

Marcille: Fairly well, Laios has been by her side day and night. He's not been sleeping well, and when he does he has nightmares. I worry for him.

Ozpin: Ah yes, I have a current student that is quite like Mr Touden, though he is a bit more charming with people.

Marcille: "A bit?"

Ozpin: Yes, He's not as well read, but he is somewhat better at reading people-

???: *Distantly* EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Ozpin: *White Knuckling Long Memory* I swear if my hair wasn't already white- I'm afraid I have to go check Someone Marcille. Please eat until you're full and comfortable, then give Falin, Laios, Senshi, and Chilchuck my greetings and well wishes.

~~~~~

???: Excuse me Headmaster Ozpin, I have an Inquiry.

Ozpin: Oh- Oh hello. I see my reputation proceeds me, What is you're name miss ...

2B: I am referred to as 2B. I am searching for one "Pietro Polendina."

Ozpin: He'll be with the Atlesians, over-

???: EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Ozpin: WHERE IS SHE!

2B: *Sword at the ready* The source of that detonation came from that direction.

Ozpin: Thank you! I will handle this myself, you may go.

2B: Is that an Order?

Ozpin: Yes!

2B: *Sheathing her sword* Very well.

~~~~~

???: Move it Kazuma!

Kazuma: I'm going, I'm going! Calm down.

Ozpin: You two!

Megumin: Aw crud

Ozpin: Have you been launching those explosions off?

Kazuma: Megumin has. Why?

Ozpin: You've been causing disturbances, damaging property, and driving me to near madness!

Kazuma: Well Megumin said she she got perm-

Kazuma: You lied didn't you?

Megumin: ... I didn't think anyone would care ...

Kazuma: Really? Again Megumin!

Ozpin: Mr. Sato, please go on back the dormitories. I will take the young mage here to be written up for her infractions and returned to her cousins.

Kazuma: *Dropping her* Alright, sounds good to me.

Megumin: Jerk!

Ozpin: Come on, Let's get you back to Miss Rose and Miss Xiao-long.

Megumin: *Grumble*

#crossover #rwby crossover #rwby #ozpin #professor ozpin #frieren #megumin #kazuma satou #2b #yorha no.2 type b #gojo satoru #glynda goodwitch #marcille donato #asks and answers #rwbysworld #rwby au #remnant's extended families

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depression-napping · 24 hours

Text

As someone with a chronic condition, I find Vincent to be especially relatable and honestly such a relief as a character.

I’m curious how many other Vincent fans also feel this way. If you feel comfortable, you can vote in the poll.

Edit: Chronic depression/anxiety/ADHD count as a chronic condition. It can be mental or emotional, not just physical pain.

My personal feelings under the cut.

When I first fell in love with him, I didn’t have a chronic condition yet, but his entry into my life rather coincided with the onset of it and shaped how I felt about it.

For many years, I blamed myself for my condition (which I later learned is genetic, incurable, and worsens with age), wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t just get over it. I felt that I had missed so many opportunities, failed to accomplish countless goals, because I had to spend so much time isolated in a dark, quiet room to avoid making my migraines worse, recovering from the pain and side effects of the medication. Unable to do anything but wait for it to be over. (Edit: Depression/anxiety/mood swings are also part of my condition, it’s not just physical pain!)

So many protagonists are exhausting tropes of “never give up!!!!” and ridiculous heroism.

But there is often the depressing reality of the situation where difficult things happen and they can’t be changed, no matter what you do. You just have to deal with it. Or sometimes the pain is so great, you can’t deal with it. Sometimes your only realistic option is to take a 30 year depression nap.

I feel like he would understand constant pain and exhaustion because it’s his reality, too. He wouldn’t be like, just get over it, it’s all in your head. Even though my pain is nothing compared to what he has been through, I feel like he would just understand.

He is honestly my reminder that this is/was not a waste of time. Resting is a necessary part of healing and staying in balance, especially when your body sometimes feels like your enemy. And I should not have to apologize for it.

#personal #vincent valentine #tw chronic illness #just to be clear he didn’t cause my condition lol!#if i don’t post for awhile sometimes this is why

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kulaykonfetti · 2 years

Text

yellaw boy

#HE'S ME. HE HAS SO MANY THINGS I RELATE TO. WHAT . WHAT. WHAT #don't hug me i'm scared #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared fanart #dhmis #dhmis fanart #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #dhmis red guy #fall doesn't exist here. w/e. i live in my fall dream #scorpions tw #i toast i draw i poast

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stagefoureddiediaz · 24 days

Text

Thinking about step 9 and the whole concept of forgiveness of one’s self and others and it bringing healing and how bobby and Eddie have been paralleled a fair amount and the idea that Eddie started this process back at the end of s5 with his forgiveness and acceptance of his father but how he hasn’t yet gone anywhere near his mother and their relationship .

How his catholic guilt storyline seems more likely to play on his reltionship with his mother than his father (if his father wasn’t around that much it would’ve been Helena taking him to church etc each week) so the idea of an Eddie - Helena storyline that plays on catholic guilt and potentially his queerness in relation to that has me chewing on glass - it could be so epically good

#I’ve always viewed Helena as the biggest issue in Eddie’s relationship with his parents - Ramon has always - to me a least always seemed to #just go along with what Helena wants or dictates #it made sense with how his trauma ptsd army related arc played out that it was Ramon who was the centre of that #now though - catholic guilt - possibly playing into his queerness and suppression of that queerness #to keep some kind of reltionship with his mother - who only seems to view him through a lens of failure #leading him down a road where he wasn’t able to be his true self - it would be so powerful #there is so much potential there #eddie saying his mother wasn’t an issue in s6 - was such a choice and so pointed that they have to be wanting to explore that #so many aspects of who Eddie is and why he is the way he is - his want to nest but not being able to with women - stems from his mommy #issues and the fact he’s been denying they exist #I will eat it up - it would be the right kind of angst for the show and Ryan would deliver #plus the way it parallels with Bobby and his relationship with Catholicism would be fascinating #not to mention the whole Eddie not having a relationship with the faith he was brought up in only to start dating someone who is a literal #embodiment of that faith - and female - as a symbol of his needing to explore and reconcile the actual reasons for his faith lapsing- become #could not be queer and Latino and catholic when Eddie was growing up - it wasn’t an option - so if you step away from the faith that’s #denying a fundamental aspect of who you are #even if you still can’t act upon it - it is easier to keep that part of you concealed #911 spoilers #911 Thinky thoughts #eddie diaz #I need this arc to be a thing so badly #911 abc

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sciderman · 2 months

Note

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

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synthshenanigans · 4 months

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why does CJ have sm beef with the sun & moon tho like what is his deal

#the amount of songs where he had problems with the sun or the moon or like something relating to them #there's the icarus vs the sun thing sometimes #bro made whole ass characters fight that have sun & moon motifs #& then there's his Fly Me to the Moon cover #whys he so mad at these spheres #like he has a whole stanza for earth in not perfect #but nah fuc the sun an ESPECIALLY the moon #mans got sunburnt too many times #idk what tf the moon did #tho I am curious as to why he said “el luna” in FMttM when luna/the moon is feminine #at least im like 95% sure it is but i don't remember much spanish #screw HMS lore i need my FMttM lore #chonny jash #moss post

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 21 days

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Okay I just need to say that I knew I'd like this Tailstube as soon as I saw the thumbnail (after all, I am a Sonadails enjoyer, and Tails is literally in the middle of them in the thumbnail)

But I think probably something that stood out the most to me when I watched it was just

The hints that Shadow and Tails have a relationship outside of Sonic??

The first thing that tipped me off to this was that not only did Tails convince Shadow to join in on his show, he also convinced him to stick around to its natural end?? You know, Shadow. The guy you can't force to do anything and frequently will just dip if he's bored or doesn't want to be there. But even while Sonic was annoying him and he made it clear he wanted the "interview" over with, he still never made a move to chaos control out of there because of any of this.

And the second thing that tipped me off was this:

When Shadow is both confused and annoyed at Sonic, he chooses to complain to Tails about Sonic. And so Tails steps in to try to "explain" what Sonic meant by what he said (i.e he told Shadow something much nicer in the interest of getting them to be on better terms). The fact that he looks to Tails to complain to about Tails' own best friend and possibly even to explain that which he does not understand in a social context tells me just how highly he regards Tails. And since both Shadow and Sonic are being childish here, it's amusing to see Tails regarded as something closer to a trusted figure with more power here.

From an objective analysis standpoint, of course this means they have their own friendship. And this is a prospect I enjoy (The idea that Tails and Shadow are good friends)! It actually means a lot to me that Tails could form a frienship or bond with Shadow outside of the context of Sonic (in terms of who initiates it and for what reason it's initiated).

But, my friends, from a biased standpoint, I'm shipping trash. And to me this Tailstube was a fun show for Sonadails fans. Honestly, Tails staging this episode to get Sonic and Shadow to talk and "bury the hatchet", as well as how he acts during the show, read a lot to me personally like a guy trying to get his two boyfriends (who happen to be rivals) to get on better terms, if not just tolerate each other. I quite like the idea of Tails dating both of these idiots and just trying to get them to play nice when they're all together (although frankly I think the ideal scenario for Tails in my biased reading is that Sonic and Shadow get together as well).

This is also not to mention the dynamics showcased here! Sonic and Tails as best friends, with Sonic assuming that he and Tails were gonna talk shit about Shadow behind his back, and Tails trying to get him to play nicer. Shadow and Tails as friends, with Tails trying to convince him why he and Sonic are in the perfect position to become friends and helping him out socially, and with Shadow choosing to do something he doesn't want to because of Tails, as well as looking to Tails to complain to when Sonic is annoying him or when he doesn't understand something. And then there's Sonic and Shadow. In short, their relationship in this episode reminded me a lot of the dynamic I plotted out for that Sonadow post I wrote up where the two just beat the crap out of each other. In slightly longer terms, I find interesting how Mr. Flynn maintained Sonic and Shadow's dynamic during SA2 (with Sonic bothering Shadow and trying to fight him, while Shadow is just annoyed that Sonic won't leave him alone) while also showing the audience that they are rivals. And in longer terms...Sonic was clearly seeking a fight during this episode. And the facial expression, the mocking, his tone of voice, it doesn’t really matter whether or not he actually dislikes Shadow and believes they could never be friends. He's trying to annoy Shadow and goad him into a fight because he wants to fight Shadow so badly it makes him look stupid. And we can tell by how he expresses his confusion to Tails that Shadow is just not getting this. To him Sonic is just being annoying and confusing. Sonic is targeting him specifically, and Shadow shoots back with his own words. And so it's also pointed that Shadow reciprocates/actually decides to fight Sonic when Sonic specifically challenges him. He doesn't respond to Sonic trying to goad him on, but when Sonic challenges him specifically he's much more interested in opposing him.

Anyways guys I love Shadow and Tails having a soft on the side relationship while Sonic flirts by convincing Shadow to fight him somehow😂💖

#sonic the hedgehog #tailstube #sonadails #sonshadails #sonadow #sontails #shadails #shadow the hedgehog #tails the fox #miles tails prower #i just be ramblin #man there are so many things about this episode #Another personal favorite interaction was when #Tails: Come on could you try to just say one nice thing about each other? One compliment? Please?#Sonic‚ mockingly: Anything you can do I can do better #Shadow: Yeah? Do it then. Prove it.#Sonic: Ah crap he called my bluff #Sonic: I uh...I love the way you...chaos control?#Tails: Okay. You do one now Shadow #Shadow: I uh... I also love the way you chaos control. ...It's impressive that you could do it with a fake emerald #Tails: See? You can compliment each other! Sorta #Sonic is on the aro/ace spectrum to me but to me his most compelling relationships are always little buddy effect related and knuckles #effect related #Which just means that he tends to hold relationships like his and Tails highly (and has taken more than one little buddy)‚ but is also #attracted to people who have tried to kill him. What can I say? He loves the softness and domesticity of having a smaller loyal partner as #he loves the danger and exhilaration of fighting/racing a strong opponent #Sonic and Shadow fighting (and especially Sonic trying to get Shadow to fight him on purpose) is just baseline what the two need #for 'toxic yaoi' so if someone can't even handle how hostile they were during the tailstube then...#Anyways‚ how we feelin Sonshadails fans?

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