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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for saying my family shows favoritism towards my baby cousin?

(This is copied from my Reddit drafts because my partner told me tumblr would be better for this and I trust them)

Okay this is a long one so I’m just gonna throw out fake names for everyone and everyone is white middle class Americans

I, Op, 20M, I’m a trans man not accepted by my family. This is relevant

Renee, 20F, my twin sister

Bea, 16F, my younger sister

Lee, 35F, my aunt on my father’s side

Lucas, 2M, my cousin, son of Lee

Suzie, 5F, my cousin, daughter of Lee

My father, 44M, the patriarch of our whole family

My mother, 45F

Grandpa, 76M, paternal grandpa, previous patriarch

Grandma, 74F, paternal grandma

So I’m sending this in on Christmas Day of 2023. For some context, I still live at home, but it’s more of a roommate situation now that I’m an adult. Renee lives on her out-of-state college campus but visits for holidays, and Bea is still a high schooler. Lee, her children, and her husband who isn’t relevant to this (I love my uncle, we just literally never talk) live across the country. My father is losing the battle with cancer and can’t travel, so we had two separate christmases this year, one with my immediate family and one with Lee. Grandma and Grandpa went to Lee’s, which was awesome for me because that meant I got to avoid them this year!

As the character list above states, I’m (one of) the oldest of the five grandkids with my cousins being born a lot later than me and my sisters. My family is a traditional WASP family and staunchly conservative with Aunt Lee actively being a cop right now while my parents and Grandpa served in the military. Growing up undeniably queer was hilarious, I know. But the family dynamic wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, my family did a good job of trying to hide the fact that Renee was the favorite child lol, but that was more on the basis of her having the same traditional values that they do until Aunt Lee had Suzie, then she obviously became the favorite. Fine by me, she’s an adorable girl and I love spoiling her. Also, ACAB does apply for Aunt Lee for being complacent in this system, it’s not just the most relevant part of the story besides explaining how she fits into the family dynamic

But then Lee had Lucas a few years later and the focus in the family shifted to him. At first, it was baby fever making everyone dote over him (and I’m guilty of this too) but after a while, I realized that the fever hasn’t died down. If we had family reunions, everyone would flock to Lucas and I would be the one watching Suzie. For a toddler, she’s a great conversationalist, but it was still sad to see all her aunts and uncles and cousins showering her baby brother with attention and not her. And then the comments started. That my father would only refer to Lucas as “my nephew” even when talking directly to Lee (unhinged to witness in person). That Grandpa was so happy to finally have a grandson (felt great). The lady-killer comments and guessing what profession he’s gonna go into based on how chubby of a baby he is (the money’s on Linebacker, little dude is built like a truck). Stuff like that

None of these comments were ever made about Suzie when she was born, and I really don’t want to admit that it’s because Lucas is a boy, but thats the only answer I can think of when trying to understand the favoritism. Lucas is showered in gifts and love and while I know newborns need that, Suzie received nowhere near this much attention. Lee’s husband doesn’t go to family functions because he works full time, but I heard Suzie mumble at Thanksgiving last month that she wanted to go home to daddy. It broke my fucking heart, so I called him and she got to FaceTime with my uncle until my phone died

At this point, I’m not even upset that the family ignores my obvious trans-ness as I’m over a year on T (paid for by myself too) in favor of my boy cousin. I’m upset that Suzie is getting left out of the fawning while she’s still super young and she could grow up resenting Lucas because of it.

Anyways, so this morning we opened gifts as an immediate family and I got to FaceTime my significant other as they unboxed their gift from me and we were having a good time until my dad FaceTimes Grandpa. Grandpa answers and Dad immediately asks how his nephew is. Lucas is pushed in front of the phone and all I can hear is asking about how Lucas is, is Lucas talking yet, is Lucas reading yet. I manage to squeeze my head in and ask about Suzie and Lee’s voice off camera says that “oh she’s fine, just snobbish.” Snobbish? A five year old?

And here’s where I’m probably the Asshole. Honestly, I’m looking between ESH and JAH here, but would perfectly understandable if tumblr decides YTA. My response to Lee’s comment was: “well maybe she wouldn’t be if everyone didn’t pick Lucas as the family favorite.”

My dad smacked me upside the head, Renee and Bea got really pissed off, and the FaceTime went quiet until it was cut off and Grandpa called back to talk to Dad privately. Bea called me an asshole and while my Mom got onto her for her language, Mom agreed that I was.

My dad came back from the phone and did the silent point towards his bedroom, y’all with shitty parents know the one. Because I’m twenty fucking years old and pay RENT here, I shook my head, grabbed my keys, and went to go hang out with my significant partner and work friends. We had a great time and I’m currently in the car with my significant other while typing this. I’m gonna spend the night at their place and go back in the morning to see how bad the damage is. My significant other says I was justified in what I said, but two of my work friends (one who’s a Cishet guy who grew up in a similar household and another who’s a new dad with his own son) say that what I said was uncalled for and rude. They explained that I had no right to weaponize Lucas and Suzie like that and I understand that. I’m just tired of Suzie being neglected and, selfishly I know, I’m tired of how my identity is ignored as well

So, tumblr, AITA?

TL;DR, My two year old cousin is the “only” grandson in the family. The family ignores my male identity and my baby cousin’s five year old sister to fawn over the two year old. Am I The Asshole for pointing this out point blank in front of the whole family on Christmas morning?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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myperfectfatdads · 6 months

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OLD FELLOWS:

When my friend Derik invited me out to his grandparents mansion for the whole summer I was super excited! Me and Derik are best friends and to spend the whole summer with him in a mansion would be awesome! So of course I said yea right away and he said he would pick me up at my house tomorrow. When Derik arrived at my door he was in really good shape, we would always go to the gym together until he moved away to go live with his grandparents.

I myself had also been keeping in shape and was super excited to hear that his grandparents mansion had a whole gym in it!

“Well we’re here” said Derik, that was a long but good 4 hour car ride. His grandfather died a few years back and his grandmother lives in a foster care now so he had the whole place to himself! First thing I do is pick my room but it’s hard to decide because there are so many options. “I’ll take the one next to you Derik” I say, “Sounds good man after you unpack wanna take a dip in the pool?” Says Derik, you have a pool bro that’s awesome yeah of course I wanna get into the pool after I get my stuff unpacked. Waking into the massive backyard I see a huge deck with a big pool on it. “Hey bro I got some drinks in the cooler if you want any” says Derik, opening the cooler I see beer?! We are both only 20 to young to be drinking beer turning around I see Derik holding a beer bottle right in his hand. “Bro we are only 20 why do you have beer we still have a whole year left before we can drink it!” “It’s ok man who is going to know I mean we have this whole place just us two for the whole summer.” “Yea bro I guess you’re right I mean what’s the worst that can happen?” After saying that I grab a glass of ice cold beer and hop into the pool. Awwwww this is the life my guy, but this was also my first time trying beer after taking my first sip I’m met with a spicy cold kinda flavor, well it’s ok I mean there’s nothing special about it I say to myself. “Man I’m going to go inside and get changed here come with me I’ll give you a tour dude.” Getting out of the pool and getting dressed we head to the kitchen Derik tell me that his grandfather had a ton of money and bought this house and sadly died soon after that but it’s nice because now this place is mine. His grandfathers rooms still remains the same nothings changed, “yea I never had time or just wanted to clear this room out so it just sits here now” says Derik. Waking into his room nothing seems off about until I open one of the old jours and inside I find an old looking box with Derik’s name on it. “Hey bro there’s this old looking box with you name on it” I say “weird dude I haven’t been in this room in ages well let’s open it bro!” Looking inside the box there a note from his grandfather that says “Derik I see you have found my box the thing in here was really special to me and I want you to have it maybe it will be special to you too love grandpa.” Oh he left two rings cool! “Here bro you have one and I’ll have one now we’re matching!” Says Derik.

These are cool I wonder where your grandfather got them from. “Yea I wonder here come on let’s go finish the house tour.” Sounds good man! “So this is my room and next to my room is burpppppppppp omg bro I’m sorry that came out of no where” says Derik. Your good bro happens to the best of us. “Wow it got late really fast I think ima go to bed in a minute bro sorry” says Derik, you’re good I think I’m going to go to bed in a sec too. Walking up you feel great getting out of bed and going down stairs where you can hear Derik down there. Hey bro good morning, woah dude you ok your not looking to good your all hairy and you stomach it sticking out a little and you look a lot older bro.

“What do you mean bro I feel great you should take a look at your self” says Derik. Looking down at your self he’s right your stomach is sticking out a little too and your also getting really hairy and looking older.

Your right man that’s weird though because I wasn’t this hairy at all yesterday I mean we’re only twenty.

“Yeah bro your right well, I’m going to head down to the gym and work out do you wanna join me?” Yea I’ll be right down don’t you think this is a little weird though? “Yes of course this is really strange but I’m not going to think about it to much and just go try to burn off some of this fartttttttt oh sorry bro had to let that one out” says Derik. You ok man you never fart? “Never burppppppp better.” These rings your grandpa gave you do you know why he gave them to you because ever since I’ve put it on I’ve felt a little weird. “I mean I think he used to wear them all the time that’s all I know of aw screw the gym I’ll be in the pool chilling do you wanna join me I got beers.” Says Derik, yea why not bro here I’ll go get my swim suit on, while getting your swim suit on it feels like it barely fits and you have to really pull to get it on. “Awww this pool feels amazing and this beer is even better” says Derik, bro you gotta slow down you have already had three. “You can’t be talking yesterday you said you didn’t even like it and now you have all ready had two today, see I guess you do like it.” Ok man your right but you gotta slow down, is it just me or is your hair turning grey man I mean just look at it the color is fading. Also your face is really starting to fill out and get chubby I think it’s from the beer. “Ok man stop calling me old I’m not that old I’m only 30” says Derik, wait 30 no no we’re only 20 right? Yea that has to be right because we’re not allowed to drink beer but we have been all day wait we are 30 dang I’m already so old, hey dude your grandpas ring is starting to get uncomfortable I think I’m going to take it off. “Sounds good dude I think I may take mine off too.” Weird it’s not coming off maybe I need to pull harder, no that’s not it it’s stuck! Hey dude my ring won’t come off is yours? “Let me burpppppppp so uh not I can’t get it off thats weird though.” Says Derik, hey man I’m getting out of the pool I feel nauseous and I have bad back pain. “Yeah man age will do that to you when you get old” says Derik, old I’m not old I mean I’m only 35 I still have my whole life ahead of me. “I’ll get out with you I’m really tired I think I’m going to go to bed soon” says Derik. Your going to bed already man it’s only 5 we don’t normally go to bed intel like 10. “Yeah I just feel “yawnnnnn” tired tonight.” Also speaking of your grandpas ring your starting to looks like a grandpa man with your chubby cheeks and beach ball gut. “Well look at you bro you look like Santa with your big grey beard and big belly full of jelly haha.” Says Derik. “I’m going to bed man I know it’s early but pops has to get be in bed on time. Ok man also why are you calling yourself pops your only 37. “Haha yeah I’m just burppppppp oh that was a good one probably from all the beer.” While waking up stairs you see Derik walk right past his room, hey bro where are you going your room is this way. “What do you mean my room is this way it’s right here.” Derik points to his grandfathers room. Oh okay man your sleeping in there tonight. “Bro I always sleep in there also do you need one of my shirts your shirt is looking really tight on you.” Says Derik, yea I do, thanks bro this really helps, oh this white shirt fits great! “Well that’s good we’re about the same size well goodnight man” Yea you too goodnight, even though you told Derik the shirt fit great it’s really big but it will have to do for now. Waking up in the morning you put on a pear of Derik’s jeans that fit great and put on the white shirt he gave you yesterday, weird it used to be really big but now it fits perfect. Well I should probably go down stairs to see Derik while scratching you big grey beard. Walking into the kitchen Derik is not there, huh thats weird he’s all ways up super early in the morning. Going up stairs you go into his bedroom and see no one in there oh yeah he slept in his grandfathers room last night. Going into his grandfathers room he is met with not Derik but a old fat 65 year old man asleep on a chair in his bedroom.

You slowly walk up to the snoring man and slap is beer belly, the man jolts awake. “Burppppppp oh my bad man” says Derik. Hey have you seen my friend Derik he’s tall and fit. “What are you taking about I’m Derik right here your roommate beach ball guy you call me” says Derik, “fartttttt also man you have really grown out that beard I think I’m going to start calling you Santa clause.

Looking at yourself in the mirror your met with a fat 64 year old man. What does he say again? Oh yea ho ho ho. “Haha well man I’m going to go get a beer” A beer already I’m just joking it’s nine normally I’ve already had three, well what are you waiting for grandpa let’s go. “Burpppppp one sec pops needs a few minutes to stand up, I’ll meet you down there.” Haha you better be fast or they will be all gone.

#dad bod #weight gain #balding #beer belly #beer bloat #burping #fat belly #fatty #hairy belly #santa claus

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narutocharacterpolls · 8 months

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ROUND ONE

UCHIHA MADARA vs YAMANAKA INO

Reasons for submission under the cut

Madara

holy FUCKKKK dude his original introduction with him fighting the entire shinobi alliance is one of the most terrifying and awe inspiring introductions to a character I've EVER seen in media. The fact he was one guy, (albeit resurrected) taking on an ARMY and doing it in such a way with so little effort he just called it 'dancing' gave me fucking chills and it's [submitters] favorite fight in the entire series

MAN TAKES ON ALL THE KAGES AND HE'S STILL THINKING ITS NOT QUITE FUN YET, ICONIC

he's just super funny, i fucking adore how deadpan sarcastic he can get, like Tsunade rolling up saying she was just visiting an old friend when Dan helped save her, and Madara deadpan no hesitation going "You'll see him again quite soon". ICONIC. KING. SO FUCKING FUNNY

him showing up almost fucking feral to fight Hashirama, and just being told "ILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER" and he actually sits down and waits with his arms crossed is so fucking funny

I love how hype he got about fighting Gai like that was the ONLY person aside from Hashirama that got him hype. Madara vs Gai was such a good fight

Madara is a GILF, [submitter] is not ashamed to admit grandpa is hot in both his actual grandpa form and his revived form

he's such an iconic villain

he's awesome and super smart

his commitment is unparalleled. Made a plan that takes a decade to work by himself. The guy single handedly brought changes in the shinobi world, and came back from death twice !!!

he dog walked the tailed beast like unruly animals, and humiliated the strongest shinobi of the time (5 kage + Naruto + Sasuke) , all while maintaining beautiful hair, pretty face and amazing physique

has the whole homoerotic thing with Hashirama and being insane (affectionate) in general going for him

he was right, Konoha was rotten and a mistake

very cool fight scenes

very dramatic and rude to those around him

very cool backstory

he's a mysterious character, even tho he's the main antagonist, as we've never seen the story by his perspective

he has such a tragic kinda overlooked backstory

he's badass

Ino

she’s so great and resourceful

she's loving to everyone, her team, her family, even Sakura

beautiful

super cool/under rated powers

she's lesbian coded

#bestnrtcharapoll #naruto #polls #uchiha madara #madara uchiha #naruto founders #yamanaka ino #ino yamanaka #id in alt text

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pinkprimrose05 · 8 months

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character asks bc other anon was a coward: blade

HAJFTOVNWHYFAGDYSDNTJ

General opinion/How much I care about them: Ren Blade Yingxing my beloved beloathed depressed miserable angsty bastard aaaaaaa-

This man, oh my god. This edgy mess is somehow the second fastest blorbo to be coined as such in my blorbo-having history, and I think that alone says a lot. But even if not, he has his special little spot for being: 1) my first HSR fave, 2) my current main (the gameplay is ridiculously fun holy shit), and 3) the reason I downloaded the game at all (shoutout to Bronya, of course, but it was mainly Ren).

Also I really like the fact that he's genuinely batshit insane. An unapologetic menace to the galaxies. He can be so unhinged and evil sometimes, and that's a new flavor of fave in my collection. Did I mention the story doesn't try to redeem him at all? Because it's true! Extremely uncommon win on the hyv writers' part there; doubly so because they manage to balance this aspect with the subtle gap moe they love to give to all their stoic characters.

Yes. Ren is simultaneously edginess incarnate and a tired grandpa that sucks with words and doesn't know shit about technology. Oh and he keeps getting roped into Situations by his colleagues- and goes along with them all the time! The dude was literally asked to pose for a movie cover and he just. did that. No questions asked. Nothing.

I care about him a very normal amount. He's so neat and- oh my god I forgot to mention the aesthetic. Black/blue/red/gold is such a banger color scheme. He also has a spider lily motif and that looks very cool! And the pretty ribbon on the back of his coat is a 10/10 design choice. His only problem is that the game keeps forgetting to edit his silly beta design sneakers out of splash art, and that the washed out jeans clash hard with the coat. But otherwise? Perfection. I could (and did) stare at him for hours on end.

A ship I love: Kafblade is one of those pairs that you can read as romantic or platonic with equal efficacy and I love that for it. They're partners in crime! There's a great sense of trust and faith between them! They're each other's guardian and tether and the one who understands them best and they're such an awesome dynamic, good lord.

Honorable mention goes to jingren for the old man yaoi potential to take the relationship in a very (bitter)sweet or very sad way. There's something to be explored here and I wish canon could give it consideration someday.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: Stellaron Hunter agenda!!! They're so awesome individually and as a group, and the comedy is just lovely. You have Ren wrangling two terribly reckless women because in some way, by some miracle, he happens to be the braincell holder among the three. You have him trailing after Kafka on one of her shopping sprees with a whole bunch of bags and coats, you have him going to an arcade with Silver Wolf because she wanted to show him this brand new game she's been talking about nonstop for four days, and you have him in an impromptu shooting session with them both because they wanted to make silly movie covers and needed an extra actor.

They're one small hilarious family and I adore them so so much, you have no idea. Can't wait until Sam and Elio make an appearance in the story so I get more fuel for shenanigans.

The NOTP: None here sir, as long as the ship is normal it's fine by me.

My biggest headcanon about them: Ren is autistic and you will pry this hc from my cold, dead hands. He's stuck in his own head 80% of the time. He doesn't do conversation at all. Back when he was still Yingxing, he used to spend so much time at the forge when inspiration struck him, to the point of tuning out everything until his friends physically dragged him out to touch grass. He's an autistic nerd through and through, and even several thousand deaths can't take that from him.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: One idea I've been curious about lately is what would happen in a roleswap scenario, where the Astral Express crew find Ren before the Stellaron Hunters do. He may not make for a great archivist, his state of mind may be less-than-stellar, but it's interesting to imagine the dynamics between him and the crew- and hey, who doesn't love taking sad guys out of situations for a change?

I'm filing this concept for later, just in case. Who knows? The writing ghost visits when I least expect it.

Something that makes me think of them: Everything these days The flute, the sound of wind blowing, red spider lilies, and -to the immense detriment of my composure in public- mentions of the word blade in any context ever. Why gee, thanks for permanently altering my brain chemistry.

#damn thanks yuuto this was a blast to answer. if you wish to hear more just say the word :D #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr blade #blade hsr #hsr yingxing #friend's asks

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creators-island · 1 year

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Happy...uh...Valentine's season??

So, Remember Isaiah? Well he used to have a bromance --more romance than bro but ok-- With this dude, His name is William Blight the Third.

He was always very lonely man, avoided emotional intimacy at all times and never let other people get too close to him. That is until he met Isaiah.

No, it wasn’t ‘love at first sight’ they actually fought with nails and thoots for three years before they had a ‘civil conversation’ for the first time (AKA they got drunk in the nastiest most low life cavern in the whole fucking isles)

Since then Liam would purposely being caught stealing and doing criminal stuff to get Isaiah’s attention -it always worked-, they would pretend to fight and go to a hidden place to get drunk, hang out or just dance for hours.

Liam would tell his awesome tales and Isaiah would do the same but adding many jokes to them; they would dance, spar, sometimes sing or just stay in silence while walking by the beach.

William (or Liam as he likes to be called) is a natty, cheeky criminal, Blight House Deserter and Odalia’s great, great, great -many greats- uncle grandpa. After his death nobody talked about him, mostly bc no one remembered his existence.

(BTW i kinda based him on puss in boots)

part 8

#TOH #ToH AU #grimfamily au #THE OWL HOUSE #grimwalkers #odalia blight #blight family #emperor belos #Toh Golden Guard #golden guard #toh hunter #phillip wittebane #caleb wittebane #they all got witches #except belos #how pathetic #past golden guards

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onesaltyerik · 5 months

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Mother: I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for a breakfast!

Me: cool, thanks! (expects her to arrive at around 8-9am)

Mother: (6am, two hours after I fell asleep) I'm here! Let's get breakfast! (Nothing is open except the gas station.)

(She doesn't want to go in. She's tired. Like genuinely this woman has not slept in what looks like days. She doesn't want to eat anything either because her 'blood sugar is too high'. I offer her my blood sugar medications so she can eat something {we take the same stuff at the same dose} she says no. I go in and buy my own birthday breakfast from the gas station. I buy sibling's breakfast as well since they had no idea what the plan was and were kinda dragged along and thought that mom would buy them breakfast so they didn't bring their money.) Me:..............I'm giving you the bill for the kiddo. Mom: why? Me: (why do you think?!)

(We get back to my place. She insists I try on the clothes she brought for me. She does not want to go inside the house. I have to try on the clothes in the car. Patience is fading, social battery non existent, my mornings meds have not kicked in. I finish trying on the clothes and tell her I'm going to bring them inside. She wants the plastic bag back? The one she brought them in? Because it's expensive? Said bag has a broken zip and will not close. I do not understand. I take kiddo with me to my house and tell mom to nap in the car. She does not want to. NOW, she wants to go in the house with me. I have roomates who are still asleep. It's only 7am now. I am only going to take kiddo with me cause I know they know my roomates well enough to be okay with them suddenly showing up. I insist she takes a nap and that I will bring her some coffee. She says it will make her blood sugar go up. I tell her I will bring her coffee with no sugar or milk. She still insists it will make her blood sugar go up. I offer her my medicine once more, she says she's allergic. {?} I take kiddo inside with me. I'm not dealing with this at this hour of the morning.)

(Kiddo spills the fuckin TEA, mother is definitely losing it and did not tell kiddo about the morning plans. Did not tell kiddo about them being invited to breakfast and just dragged them along. Had told kiddo to be the one to call me to wake me up because "he's grumpy when he wakes up and I don't want to be the one to be snapped at". Dude. Dude what? Kiddo tells that both mom and dad are now fully diabetic. And refuse to take any medications for it. Or regulate anything themselves. Cool. Great. {sarcasm}.)

(Kiddo and I hang out with the one roomate who is awake and put new clothes away, got some sick hunting shirts from grandpa with awesome deer and elk printed onto them. And some woven wool coats. The three of us eat our gas station breakfast and coffee and talk about kiddo's new fav book that is incredibly gay and hell yeah good for them! We talk about anime we both like, stories about how we made friends in preschool-gradeschool-middeschool and how it sucks to be an adult {kiddo just turned 18 and adulthood punched them in the face and they hate it and I don't blame them}. I tell kiddo they are more than welcome to come live with me if mom and dad are too much to deal with. Group hug. Kiddo goes home with mom once mom has finished her supposed nap. {I don't think she actually slept in the car, I don't think she slept at all.})

So that was my birthday morning. Woooo. I guess.

#birthday #birthday chaos #what the fuck #who just shows up at 6am for breakfast?#nothing is open at 6am!#i don't want to sound ungrateful #i really don't #i love my family #but it's getting harder and harder each year to connect with them #they're refusing to take care of themselves #and then blame their poor health on completely random factors #i swear they're not even allergic to their medication #they just don't want to take it #i feel like a parent trying to keep them from offing themselves through bad decisions with health #why do i have to be the parent of two 60 year olds?#da fuck?#i'm so tired #i really hope sibling is okay #they looked so done with everything

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love-overdrive · 23 days

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Ordinary Miss Yazawa Pt. 1

Summary: The house for sale next door to the Higashikata's was quickly bought by someone. Josuke wonders who it could possibly be before he finally gets to meet his new neighbor, a young woman named Mary Yazawa. However, Tomoko can't help but think something doesn't add up with this new arrival.

Relationship: Platonic! Tomoko and Josuke Higashikata x OC (gen- no romance)

Rating: SFW

Word Count: ~3.5k

Notes: Nothing I think needs to be warned about. Mostly bantering between Tomoko and Josuke (I love them dearly). No spoilers for Part 4.

A/n: Aaaaa my first fic with my oc <3 please enjoy! More information on my OCs can be found on my pinned posts. Concrit is always appreciated and welcome, too.

You can read this on my AO3 here!

(Please feel free to let me know if you'd like to be tagged whenever I post a new work!)

“Huh? Someone bought that house already?” Koichi pointed to the ‘for sale’ sign that had a big ‘SOLD’ sticker slapped over it. “I thought they only put it out a few days ago.”

“Who’s that desperate to come here?” Okuyasu commented, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I guess I’ll find out soon enough,” Josuke sighed. “Mom said that no one even came by to look inside.”

“Damn, real desperate.”

“Why would you buy a house without looking inside it?” Koichi pondered. “What if you don’t even like the inside? Isn’t that kind of a waste?”

“How should I know?” Josuke shrugged. “I mean… at the end of the day, it’s just a house, right? You just go home and sit there. It’s not like these houses are bad or anything.”

“But what if you wanted a big one!” Okuyasu shouted. “I know I want a huge living room in mine. Something awesome for parties.”

Koichi tapped his chin. “Well, if we’re talking about what we want in houses… maybe many rooms. One for a library to put all my manga, a guest room for my family if they want to stop by, and rooms if you want to start a family.”

“I would want a huge fridge,” Josuke added.

“The fridge isn’t part of the house, dude! You buy that!”

“What? No way, when we moved in our house, the fridge was there!”

“That’s because your grandpa had bought it…” Koichi grimaced at the two. Josuke pouted for a moment at Koichi’s correction before waving his hand.

“Well, that’s not the point! It’s still kinda weird to buy a house without looking at it!”

“Who do you think bought it?” Okuyasu’s eyes widened. “What if it’s secretly a celebrity?”

“Why would a celebrity come to live here?”

“Damn,” Okuyasu deflated. “You’re right, you’re right.”

“It’s probably just a family.” Koichi stated. “Probably couldn’t afford the prices in places like Tokyo and so they would come here to pay a cheaper rent or mortgage.”

“How do you know so much about houses in Tokyo?” Josuke raised a brow. Koichi bashfully smiled and chuckled.

“I saw it on the news yesterday. Apparently prices have been going crazy over there.”

“Whoever bought this house probably has no clue what’s been going on here, though. I kinda feel bad,” Josuke commented. “I’m sure we’ll meet them soon. I just hope they’re not totally annoying or something.”

Scratch that thought. It was not even 8 am on a Saturday and already the moving trucks next door had bothered Josuke. He sandwiched his head in between his pillow and huffed. Who the hell moves in so early?!

Already cranky from being woken up, he glanced to his mirror and noticed his hair was a mess. What a great way to the start the day. He opened the window and was about to give his new neighbor a piece of his mind when he saw a young woman twirling her hair while the movers unloaded the truck.

“Wait, careful with those ones, please,” she pointed at a box with the word ‘fragile’ on them. “Those were like, pretty expensive.”

“Yes ma’am!” The men nodded, making her grin widely.

“Thanks~, you guys are so sweet,” she replied, continuing to watch them. “Uh, put that box by the kitchen, and that one by the window.”

Josuke raised a brow as he watched the scene. His new neighbor was definitely not what he expected them to be.

He didn’t realize he was staring until the woman called out to him and waved.

“Yoo-hoo!” She cheerfully yelled from below. “Hello! I’m your new neighbor!”

He was taken aback by her peppy attitude- seriously, it was 8 am on a Saturday- but waved back awkwardly. “N-nice to meet you.”

“Sorry for all the noise, I hope I didn’t disturb you!”

“It’s alright, not like I was sleeping or anything,” he lied, feeling guilty at the thought of unleashing his previous anger at her. Josuke had to wonder how she was up this early. Was anyone else ever-

“Josuke, who the hell are you talking to right now?” Tomoko snapped from the hallway. “What did I tell you about hogging the phone?”

Right. How could he forget?

“I’m not on the phone, mom,” he tiredly replied. Tomoko swung open the door without a second thought, only to find her son indeed was not on the phone, but still in his tanktop and pajama pants and leaning out the window.

“Then what are you…?” She shook her head and strode over to the window, looking to see a slightly confused but smiling young woman. “O-oh! You must be our new neighbor. Welcome!”

The woman chuckled and nodded. “Thank you. I’m happy to be here. If it’s not too much, I have some gifts for you all. Can I drop by soon to introduce myself properly?”

Tomoko nodded quickly. “Of course, yes, you can. Stay for some tea, too!”

“I’d love that! I have to finish with this, but give me about… um… like… three hours and I’ll be over,” the woman replied, waving one last time before turning around and ordering the men to drop off another set of boxes in a specific place.

“I love her shoes,” Tomoko mumbled to herself as she closed the window.

“I didn’t think it would just be some woman. I thought it would be a family,” Josuke rubbed the back of his neck and yawned.

“I didn’t expect that, either,” Tomoko casually replied. “That being said, what the hell were you thinking!”

Josuke’s eyes widened at his mother’s harsh tone. “What? What did I do?”

“What did you do? You just introduced yourself to our new neighbor in your pajamas! Do you know how bad that makes us look? We have to make a good impression, not make her think we’re a bunch of slobs or something!”

Tomoko frantically paced around Josuke’s room.

“It’s not that big a deal. It’s just our neighbor. Not like she’ll die if she sees me like this,” Josuke sighed, knowing his mother’s rant would continue.

“I can’t believe this. I knew she’d be here today, but I was trying to plan a welcome visit and everything, and now it’s all ruined! Now she thinks my son is a delinquent who just sits in his pajamas all day and that we’re a bunch of bums!”

“I really doubt she thinks-”

“No, no, no. Fix yourself up, now. I want you to put on your best clothes and make the best impression you can.”

“But it’s so early and I’m tired! She won’t even be here for another few hours and it takes me less than five minutes to get ready!”

“No. You will not be sleeping right now, you will be cleaning yourself up and- oh, for the love of god- clean up your room, will you?” Tomoko gagged as she stepped on a pile of Josuke’s dirty clothes.

“She’s not coming in my room!”

“What if she asks to see it, hm? You’re just gonna let her walk in and see how messy your room is?”

“Why would she be in my room in the first place?” Josuke retorted exasperatedly. “She’s coming to have tea, not a house tour!”

“That doesn’t matter! What if she wants a house tour? You don’t say no to your guests! Now clean up, that’s final!” Tomoko pointed at Josuke, leaving no room for any disagreement. Josuke rolled his eyes as Tomoko slammed the door shut behind her, leaving a grumbling and exhausted Josuke.

Well… she won’t know if I sleep for another fifteen minutes, right?

All too quickly, a fifteen minute power nap became an almost three hour long sleep. He only woke up due to hearing the door knocking, and that’s when all the panic set in.

“Josuke, she’s here!” Tomoko called from downstairs.

Shit! He thought as he tumbled out of bed and threw off his pajamas. “C-coming! Give me a sec!”

Knowing his mother would get on his case about his clothes, he rummaged through his closet for anything nice he had that wasn’t a huge, wrinkled mess. He settled, for some reason, on his school uniform and threw it on haphazardly, nearly tripping over himself as he went to grab his comb from his mirror.

He already knew he was taking too long, and he could hear his mother’s threatening tone when she called his name again, despite Tomoko trying to hide it under a veneer of saccharine sweetness. Josuke barely managed to get himself ready before he almost fell down the stairs to greet their new neighbor.

“Well, you know teenagers, always doing their own thing-” Tomoko said to the woman, not realizing (or, more likely, not caring) that Josuke was in earshot. Tomoko placed a cup of tea for both her and the woman, who graciously thanked her.

“I don’t mind, really. It’s good that they’re taking a moment to like, explore and stuff,” the woman mused. Up close, Josuke could get a better look at the woman. She had dark brown hair that went to her shoulder, but curled upwards at the ends of it. She wasn’t as pale as Tomoko, and her face was covered in freckles and beauty marks. Large, gold hoop earrings dangled from her lobes while her eyes had on some eyeliner and blue eyeshadow, which coincidentally, matched the baby blue sweater she wore.

Josuke cleared his throat awkwardly so his mother could introduce him. Tomoko turned to him with a smile before her face fell. She shot him a death glare when she noticed how slovenly his appearance looked- a warning for what was to come after their guest had left.

“Miss Yazawa, this is my son, Josuke. Josuke, this is Miss Yazawa.”

Josuke bowed politely. “Nice to see you again.”

“It’s nice to see you, too. But, you know, I’m not at work and I’m still pretty young, so you can just call me Mary,” Mary casually stated. Tomoko shook her head to Josuke, telling him not to do so. “And since you’re both here now, I hope it’s alright for me to give you my gift?”

Mary pulled out a pink box wrapped with a golden, glittery bow. Josuke leaned over curiously, wondering what was inside.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to give us something this big,” Tomoko said as she took the box. “I’ll just set it aside and-”

“Oh no, feel free to open it! I think it’ll go great with the tea!” Mary giggled.

Tomoko undid the bow and opened the box, gasping alongside Josuke as they saw many tarts, macarons, and other desserts they couldn’t even name within it.

“W-wait a minute, this can’t be,” Tomoko quickly said as she examined the cover she just removed. “Is this really from that French bakery? Patisserie Chic? That one?”

Mary nodded. “Yeah. I heard it was good. Have you tried it before?” She asked, fiddling with her cup. Both of them shook their head. Patisserie Chic was hailed as the bakery in Morioh, but it was, frankly, very expensive. As a teacher and single mom, Tomoko just didn’t have the funds to splurge that much on a slice of cake or a cookie.

Especially not a whole box of them…

“No, we haven’t.”

“Well, then that means it’s the perfect time to try them!” Mary grinned, clasping her hands together.

All of them took a pastry and took a bit. Josuke and Tomoko gasped at the taste and covered their mouths.

“Mmm! This is amazing!” Tomoko said, not caring she was talking with her mouth full.

“Mhm! Sho good!” Josuke agreed, chomping down on the sweet.

“I guess they were right,” Mary hummed, taking a small, ladylike bite of her pastry. She didn’t react much to the taste, but neither Tomoko or Josuke were paying attention.

After indulging in her sweet, Tomoko wiped her mouth and looked at Mary. “So, Miss Yazawa, what made you move all the way to Morioh?”

“Oh, it wasn’t a big deal or anything,” Mary responded. “I wanted to experience more things, so I took a position at the bank as their receptionist.”

Tomoko raised a brow. “You moved from…”

“Shibuya,” Mary answered.

“Shibuya,” Tomoko repeated. Explains the makeup. “You moved from Shibuya… to here? For a receptionist job?”

“Yes,” Mary nodded casually. Josuke tried to imagine what that would feel like, but he couldn’t think of anything. He loved Morioh, would live here forever, no questions asked- but moving here from Shibuya? That seemed a bit crazy.

“I heard the housing prices and mortgages are high over there,” Josuke commented, trying to keep the conversation going. He’d thank Koichi later for that. Tomoko shot him a confused look, wondering why the hell her son, who was always too busy playing video games and could never clean his room, was suddenly discussing mortgages.

“Yeah, they are. Morioh looks like a nice change of pace. I do like the quieter towns, too. And everyone’s been pretty friendly so far.”

“It’s a very nice town, even if it’s smaller than what you’re probably used to,” Tomoko replied. “I hope I’m not coming off as too rude or anything, but are you living with anyone? A fiance or a husband? I didn’t see anyone else with you right now.”

“Oh, no, I live alone. Again, I just moved for work and stuff,” Mary answered, not at all offended by the question. Josuke briefly wondered if all Shibuya women were like her. He did like that she was a bit more casual than some of the ladies here.

“You are? I didn’t expect that. You look very young. I’m surprised you aren’t with someone,” Tomoko gasped, starting to feel her previous holdups wear down. Even though she was stern at times, she still was a young woman, too, and she hadn’t talked to another woman her age in a while like this.

“I just haven’t found the right guy, you know?” Mary explained. “Like, I’m usually pretty busy with my job, so sometimes I just don’t have the time to really meet guys. My supervisor once said I should try a small town guy once in a while, instead of the big city ones.”

“They’re pretty rough, aren’t they?” Tomoko replied. Mary nodded in agreement.

“Right? Some of them are so pushy and don’t even listen when I talk,” Mary sighed. “All they do is talk about finances or the stock market or something, like, can we just talk about anything else?”

“And don’t they always complain about you working, too?”

“They do!”

Josuke cleared his throat as the two women got caught up in their conversation, making them both silently return to their previous positions.

“Well, in any case, this is a pretty nice place to settle down in. I don’t think you’ll have many complaints here,” Tomoko said casually.

Josuke, wanting to be involved after sitting around boredly, looked at Mary. “So, Mar- Miss Yazawa, how old are you, anyways?”

“Josuke!” Tomoko hissed, glaring at him. Mary giggled again and waved it off.

“20,” she answered.

“W-wait, 20?” Tomoko and Josuke said at the same time.

“Yeah. Is there like… something wrong?” Mary cocked her head to the side.

“No, I just… I didn’t think you’d be that young,” Tomoko responded, the surprise evident on her face. She mumbled a, “you could be my daughter at that age…”

“Woah, you moved out and everything by yourself at 20?” Josuke’s eyes sparkled, seemingly impressed with the fact she could do all that.

“Mhm. It’s nothing crazy. I know lots of people who do the same.”

Before Josuke could talk more, the phone began ringing.

“Josuke, answer the phone, will you?” Tomoko asked. Josuke looked at the house phone attached to the wall and raised a brow.

“It’s not ringing,” he replied, seeing as there was no light flashing on it.

“No, that’s me, sorry,” Mary chuckled. “Is it alright if I take this call over there?”

Tomoko was about to nod before her and Josuke gasped again at seeing Mary pull out a large, thick cellphone. They huddled together as Mary walked to the living room to answer.

“Is that a-”

“No way-” the two whispered to each other.

“How the hell can she afford a cellphone?”

“It’s the newest Nokia, too. I heard you can use it all around the world!” Josuke said with wide eyes.

“Are receptionists really paid that much?” Tomoko asked. “Maybe I should consider a career switch.”

“It’s not fair, how can she get a cellphone at 20, but I can’t?” Josuke whined.

“I don’t even have a cellphone! Why would I get you one?”

“Because… pleeease?” Josuke gave Tomoko his best puppy dog eyes before she shook her head.

“No way. You don’t need a cellphone to waste more time on. You’re already slacking on your chores and schoolwork.”

“Come on, I promise, I’ll do all my chores if I get one!”

“No.”

Josuke rolled his eyes and slumped against the seat. “One day, I’m gonna get one. And when I move out, I will not be yelled at about my room.”

“You have to actually go to college and get a job for that,” Tomoko teased.

“I will! You’ll see!”

The two bickered a bit longer before Mary came back, Nokia in hand. Mary, true to her youthful age, had decorated her phone with some rhinestones and two pink phone charms. Josuke wondered once more if women in Shibuya did this sort of thing. They must be loaded. Or bored.

“Sorry about that, my supervisor was calling.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, just some things are gonna need to be done sooner than expected. But, not a huge deal. I’ll just pull an all-nighter or something,” Mary shrugged.

“Ugh, never mind about me getting a job,” Josuke joked.

“Aw, work isn’t so bad. It’s kinda fun!” Mary replied, a wide grin on her face.

Josuke lost track of the time until Mary had left, citing her need to begin unpacking and organizing her house. Once she was gone, Tomoko folded her arms and stared quizzically at the door.

“Something up, mom?” Josuke asked, wondering why she was just standing by their door.

“I just can’t put my finger on it, honestly.”

“Put your finger on what?”

“Obviously, I mean Miss Yazawa.”

“What about her?”

“I don’t normally like to gossip about others but something’s a bit strange about her, don’t you think?”

Josuke shook his head. “Nah.”

“What do you mean, ‘nah’?” Tomoko deadpanned.

“Was there something weird about her?” Josuke scratched his cheek.

“I mean, the fact that she lived in Shibuya and then decided to move here for a receptionist job, her being only 20, having a new cellphone- none of that was off to you?”

“Is it supposed to be off to me?”

“Well, yeah, it’s not really…” Tomoko paused, scrunching her nose at what she was tryna say. “Oh god… am I getting old?”

“What?” Josuke shouted, confused where his mother would get that idea from. “What does this gotta do with anything?”

“I think I’m getting too old. I know I look younger than my age-”

“So humble.”

“Quiet. But, jeez, she’s only 20! Are younger women these days working that hard and doing that much?”

“I guess?” Josuke replied, not knowing much about women. “Maybe it’s what the women do in Shibuya.”

“It’s gotta be that. I heard they got some crazy stuff going on there,” Tomoko commented, fanning herself. “And I guess you would need to work extra hard to afford that place.”

“So then, it’s just cuz she’s from Shibuya.”

Tomoko let out a breath, before nodding. “Yeah. Shibuya. Must be a Shibuya thing.”

“So that settles it then?” Tomoko hummed back. “And you’re not worried about being old?”

Tomoko tried to remain serious, but her lips twitched upwards as she let out a short laugh. “No. I’m good. I guess even the way I did things when I was her age was unconventional, too.” She rubbed the back of her neck.

Josuke knew what she was referring to and pursed his lips. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

“And I wouldn’t have you any other way, either. Mmm… maybe just a cleaner room but that can be worked on.”

“Whatever,” Josuke laughed.

“But, really, you should go clean your room. And if you have time one day, you should go stop by her house and help.”

“Why?”

“It’s just a good thing to do. She’s all by herself and she probably needs help moving things around.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that tomorrow. I’ll call Koichi and Okuyasu over, too, since they wanted to know who it was.”

Tomoko smiled, a proud look on her face. Josuke gave a questioning expression back. “Why’re you smiling like that?”

“Nothing,” Tomoko shook her head before sighing wistfully. “I guess I just realized that you’re really becoming a man.”

Josuke’s face softened alongside his mother’s. Well, he wasn’t really all that eager to do so, but maybe helping Miss Yazawa wouldn’t be so bad if this is how his mom would react.

#my writing #mary 4 #mary yazawa #jjba oc #jojo oc #jjba #jjba x oc #oc insert #josuke higashikata #josuke 4 #tomoko higashikata #my oc #self ship #platonic self ship #platonic #self shipping community #selfshipping community

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karkallicious · 1 year

Text

Homestuck as random bullshit I've said EB: someone's gotta tell betty crocker to lay off the cocaine.

EB: i’ve seen michael cera more times than i’d like to today.

EB: i'm sure ben stiller is a decent guy irl but if given the choice between being shot or watching all of his movies i'd ask about the bullet caliber.

TT: Women only want me for my skills in the occult and not my great personality or awesome ass...

TT: That sounds like an issue you should take up with Freud.

TT: But when someone add's apostrophe's to any word that end's with s? You went out of your way to add those. Ignoring your spell check screaming and crying. A tear rolling down the cheek of your elementary school teachers.

TT: Sometimes I'll see an incredibly minor typo and have to resist the urge to be the most pedantic person known to humanity.

TT: This is eldritch horror fucker discrimination.

TG: you dont just take someones obama prism away man

TG: i draw the line at rapping muppets dude

(when questioned as to why $100 was spent on a sword) TG: uh. well. it's a sword.

TG: well it doesnt sound as hilarious to review dildos and say "this one is sans" when you guys are this unenthusiastic

TG: if i ever die play caramelldansen at my funeral TG: theres no sentimental reason or anything TG: i just want to completely throw off the vibes

GG: i’m on board with men in maid dresses regardless of furry status coward

GG: home alone so things are getting pretty wild (talking to a cactus)

GG: local bitch takes "worst nap ever" wakes up several hours later sweaty and somehow more tired

(extreme cold warning in effect, active blizzard outside, sent at 7:18 pm) GG: my grandpa and i are going to dairy queen just for the hell of it

GG: I was gonna get shit done today, so I made a pie.

GG: The only explanation I had for my impromptu dessert making was “This is how I deal with stress...”

GG: Getting genuinely invested in the Cookie Clicker stock market.

TT: (watches toddler trip and fall) skill issue

TT: I frankly think it's a tragedy disney hasn't remade more movies but with muppets.

TT: They're just like "yeah okay dark lord with a robot army we all know you have a ponysona"

TT: I don't make a habit of looking at US political figure anime boy mpreg.

(while holding a katana and talking to a poster) TT: Do you think I make too many impulse purchases, Hatsune Miku?

TG: if not meant to claw grip kitty head why kitty head so holdable

TG: "it's a bad omen when a black cat crosses your path" incorrect, my day has just been significantly improved by seeing a kitty

(on fruitcake) TG: listen you have to pour alcohol into that shit until too many pieces could have you stumbling. great grandma knew how to party

GT: My amusing mugs have had the side effect that today my grandma asked me if she should go full goblin mode or if I wanted to.

GT: You don’t ask questions when a game makes the bold decision to sexualize a t-rex.

GT: Thinking about the time we played a murder mystery game as a family and I got way too into character as a victorian era author.

GT: I'm still disappointed about the time my zoo camp didn't get to watch the tigers being fed because like 15 tornadoes were headed towards us.

GT: Hey lads I just almost accidentally blinded myself.

AA: i love ritualpastas. i like to figure out at what point i would fail and probably get my skin turned into a throw rug or smth

AA: (skelet0n v0ice) hey bitches

AA: oh i have demons in me now thats fun

AA: d0 gh0sts c0unt as pe0ple?

AA: there would be teeth scattering like a fucked up sprinkler

AT: tHIS ISN'T ABOUT PORN ANYMORE IT'S ABOUT MAKING MORE POKEMON COMPETITIVELY VIABLE

AT: i’D LIKE TO THINK I’M NOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL BUT JUST NOW I ALMOST CRIED BECAUSE I REMEMBERED THE SOUND PORCUPINES MAKE AND I REALLY WANT TO HUG ONE BUT DUE TO THE NATURE OF PORCUPINES I CANNOT

AT: i CAN FAINTLY HEAR A CHICKEN IN MY NEIGHBORS’S YARD,,, wHAT

AT: i JUST SPILLED HOT COFFEE ON MYSELF AND APOLOGIZED TO THE BARISTA PROFUSELY

TA: my neme2ii2, biilly bob rockafiire. iit wa2 dark iin there.

TA: (dub2tep play2 a2 ii collap2e on the floor)

TA: ii don't thiink ii've giiven a fuck iin 2everal year2

TA: at thii2 poiint ii’m a2kiing the computer iif iit want2 a blood 2acriifiice

CG: *PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS AND IM NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT IN NINTENDO GAMES WHICH I PLAY DUE TO THEIR MORE CALM NATURE*

CG: IMAGINE THE MOST LOUD, DISAPPOINTED, DEFEATED SIGH YOU CAN. ON MY BEHALF.

CG: I WILL FUCK MYSELF OUT OF SPITE. IT WILL BE AN ENDLESS FEEDBACK LOOP, AN INFINITE ENERGY SOURCE, OF SPITE AND SELF FUCKING

CG: "THAT'S A PROBLEM FOR FUTURE ME," I SAY, FORGETTING THAT NOW FUTURE ME HAS TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM

CG: UGH THIS PLACE IS FULL OF PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL STUPID AND I HAVE NO ONE TO VOICE MY GRIEVANCES TO OUTSIDE OF THE INTERNET.

AC: :33 < you meow in theory catgirls would probably eat anything smaller than them based on actual cat behaviours

AC: :33 < i at one point went out in public with homemade cat ears and a tail and tbh it wasn’t that bad. like sure people might judge but it turns out being cringe is being fr33

AC: :33 < *bap bap bap bap bap*

AC: :33 < i just wanted to try something but discovered the owo extension was twagically wemowoved. a woss fur evewybody

AC: :33 < today i said "you will be exiled for your baby crimes" because my cat was messing with my sketchbook

GA: If You Wouldnt Fuck A Vampire Minimum Youre A Coward

GA: I Use Amazon The Least I Can Out Of Spite That They Took Away My Favorite Fabric Store

GA: My Aesthetic Is Vampire Aligned Not Ghost Aligned I Dont Wear White

GA: I Am Going To Forcefeed You An Entire Fucking Dictionary

GC: 1 DON'T CONDON3 CR1M3S GUYS. UNL3SS TH3Y'R3 FUNNY

GC: TH3 ONLY V4L1D CH4NG1NG LOGO TO R41NBOW FL4G TH1NG 1S WH3N TH3 SCP FOUND4T1ON DO3S 1T

GC: 1T’S TH31R F4ULT TH3Y COULDN’T H4NDL3 B31NG D3C4P1T4T3D OFF1C3R >:]

GC: DON'T D13 DUD3 TH4T WOULD B3 D3C1D3DLY UNG4M3RL1K3 OF YOU

AG: remem8er kids: no matter how 8ad things get, at least you’re not the middle dude in a human centipede. pro8a8ly.

AG: spider furries: “88w88 what’s this?”

AG: may god have mercy on your 8ones because I won’t

(about a ripped cat plushie) CT: D --> we can rebuild him. we have the technology.

CT: D --> why must being cool come at the cost of being really sweaty

CT: D --> that's a horse... with an ass on both ends...

TC: WhY wOuLd YoU bUy *ShRoOmS* oN *eTsY*

TC: SoRrY wRoNg PoSt I wAs TrYiNg To ShArE cLoWn MiLkInG

TC: “AnY lAsT wOrDs, PuNk?” “HoNk”

TC: I hAvE aCtUaLlY eAtEn LeMoN sLiCeS aT rEsTaUrAnTs As ThE wAiTeR wAtChEs In HoRrOr

CA: i wwas nevver invvited to any high school parties. they might havve happened. i just wwas not invvited

(about invasive fish coming onto land) CA: i knoww this is an envvironmental hazard and all but let’s face it it’s a little funny

CA: i havve an spqr hat and i lovve it but also don't wwant people coming up to me like "you knoww wwhat the romans did right" like if i did not knoww a god damn thing about roman history i wwould not be wwearing the hat

CA: i'm a slut in theory. in practice i am not vvery good at it.

CA: anyone wwho thinks i'm insufferable for acknowwledging that i'm not unattractivve is ignoring all the other perfectly vvalid reasons i'm insufferable.

CC: one time I managed to make ocean puns back and fort)( wit)( a friend for like an )(our and I t)(ink our friend w)(o was also in t)(e car actually contemplated krilling us

CC: starfis)(... are mermaid nipple clamps

(Sends picture of a horde of goldfish) CC: my entourage

#homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes

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gateway-2000 · 2 years

Note

My first home computer was a gateway-2000, and seeing your username made me unreasonably happy!

hey!!! thank you so much, that's exactly why i chose this url!!! :-D my grandma had a gateway-2000 that i played all kinds of crap on. dude my whole family was fascinated with that computer- my schizophrenic grandpa didn't allow internet, but he was okay with us all getting offline games and everyone went berserk.

my dad bought a ton of shareware and Galaxy of Games game packs where they had like 400 games on them or something insane. i remember a windows 95 horse racing game with atari 2600 looking graphics. i remember playing a LOT of windows taipei (that mahjongg game) i got a sonic the hedgehog multipack at walmart that had Sonic, Sonic 3, Sonic & Knuckles, Sonic CD, and Sonic R and i played all of them nonstop. i also played rollercoaster tycoon constantly, and would have a CD of music playing in the background also on the PC, usually something like sean paul or whatever i listened to when i was in my larval stage.

sorry for rambling, but i'm glad you got exactly why i chose my url!!! ur awesome, have a great day!! i hope you have great memories of ur old cow patterned friend, too

#asks #answers #gateway-2000 #fav

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squimp · 2 years

Note

NEELIX! :D

Ok thank god for this and for you. keep in mind im only like almost done with s2 of voy

favorite thing about them

He is LITERALLY just a silly goofy little guy likeeee wtffff who let this little freeky deeky thing in the bridge crew briefings like what is going ONNNN and he is so silly and goofy and a little bit sassy and sometimes naive yet wise but also like.. he is so very kind... and caring ... and he is a man who can cook and we love to see that. and i like that he got to do his little vlog tv show. i would watch a briefing with neelix every day. i think he is so cute and i love him

least favorite thing about them

ok i have to say it his romantic relationship with kes is just so so terrible and awful and bad and makes me tear my hair out it just sucks... it SUCKS........ also jealous neelix arc was like mad annoying lol

+ i have seen people refer to him as Quark Lite... like they tried to put a quark type character in voy but its just not the same and on a certain level i get that ok yeah.. but also.. its fucking neelix dude LOOK AT HIM HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GUY... NEELIX NATION.... RISE.... NOW!!!

brOTP: NEELIX & TOM PARIS 5 EVARR THEY ARE BESTIES FOR THE RESTIES

OTP: im an unstoppably powerful tuvok x neelix truther ok they are perfect for each other and have the best dynamic

nOTP: neelix and kes -_- its just so hard to watch man

unpopular opinion: I like him :-) he might be one of my favorite voyager characters legit

random headcanon: i think he would make such a great dad or uncle or grandpa and he would have 1 billion kids and name them after all his friends and it would be awesome

favorite picture of them:

this was genuinely so hard to choose but... neelix ass #1 goat

they were so throuple for this ^

#txt #ask #voy #star trek

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theguardianace · 2 years

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tell me ur pjsk thoughts <333

yknow what i talk about the blorbos so much i want to ramble about gameplay first. its a game of music so obviously they put a lot of work in sound design, right? the way that the different degrees of note sound slightly different (perfect is a sharp, crisp sound, great is softer, good is dull, etc) is both a useful audio indicator for experienced players to measure how well they are doing in a combo/all perfect attempt but also a way to keep less experienced players engaged with variety! also the background music slaps so hard you'll be watching a silly little play by some gay little theater clowns and the most banger of epic orchestras is playing in the back. this is my favorite it plays during a scene where rui makes the funniest little aaaaauuuuuuu!!!!! when he (the villan) is defeated. i had to put down my phone for a second. it's also a soundtrack that really fits the vibes of each of the units songs are used for! oh and actually playing games is quite fun, too. i feel like i should mention i actually like to play the game. i spend a lot of time doing that. according to the game i have played 3246 shows. i have done over a thousand of those shows with rui as the leader. i have a card for him for every type completely maxed out. hes also like 10 character levels higher than everyone else. i dont have a favorite..... this is not about shows uhhhh something i really appreciate about sekai is how creative the beat maps are! the law evading rock map is both super fun to play but also mirrors the original 2dmv!! oh and traffic jam during a part in the master chart there's green holds and then red flicks mirroring the 2dmv as well! and the salamander chart has a little cloud shaped hold for the "fuu" like blowing on hot noodles! and the once upon a dream during the "this world is full of strange, irregular things" or however the lyric translates the holds are funky shapes! there's so so so so so so many little references and they all fit so well.

ok i think that's enough about like. playing the game. anyways blorbos are amazing rui the aromantic gender stealing king and his little troupe of aroace idiots i love them so much they do so much for eachother and simply being hwere they are now shows so much growth from their pasts. tsukasa in a place where he can learn to be the star he's always dreamed of and he has friends who genuinely care about him and he's no longer lonely and he learns so much about being a better person and aaaa. emu's card stories hurt so bad cause those are the ones she mentions her grandpa in most. one story she had wxs decorate pxl for christmas and she climbed like a two story tall tree to put some lights up and she was like this is what me and grandpa did :) and then wehn they put the lights down she climbed the tree again and looked up to the clouds and thought about how she was closer to her grandpa from up there and she hopes he's proud of how much fun she's having with her new friends. he is proud emu. she's the best girl ever shes always painted as sunshine and bubbles and she is all wonderhoy yay happy but she has emotions too yall she's learning how to express those not so happy emotions and im proud of her for it. nene is the best she's so skilled i love how she gets very sharp tounged around those she's safe with and how much she cares about these new friends and how she's learned to not only become more confident in herself but how to be a teammate and yeah. nene. dont even get me started on rui. this dude. he's been so lonely. middle school rui breaks me he just needs a friend and now he's in a place where he's not only allowed but embraced for who he is. hes weird and dramatic and thats why hes awesome. and he cares! so ! much! all the safety he puts in and how much he considers everyone in the troupe for his plans and ajajfkdjfklasjfkljdsakfjdsaklfjksaljfklsdjfklasdjkf he loves his friends so much he made an entire sekai inside sekai about it. and inside the sekai were mini wxs and they went to the moon (literally) beacuse of him and they wanted him to stay. not to be cast out. to stay. thats how he feels about his friends. accepted. amazing.

#im cutting this for length but if i have another thought i'll reblog this again #long post #ace answers an ask!

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tyrannical-sea-prince · 1 month

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THE Overseer is your GRANDPARENT???

THE DEMI GOD CAPABLE OF ENTERING HEAVEN AMY TIME HE WISHES?

The dude who can turn into a 35 meter or like mile long snake with WINGS??

Dude.

That's fucking awesome.

I'm jealous.

(your grandpa is also gay maybe-)

Who said that-

"What was that? Nevermind....Yeah, it's great!^^ I'm still trying to know they well. My grandparent seems to be a chill entity since we first met."

#seviathan von eldritch #hazbin hotel seviathan von eldritch #overseer

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harbingerofsoup · 3 years

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The comprehensive guide for why absolutely everyone should read and watch this work of art.

First of all, Iruma is best boy! He loves his friends and his family, his instinct is to help others, and like… just look at him. So good, so pure. But what truly makes Iruma a protagonist worthy of having a slide to himself is his character development. He actually starts off as a completely selfless person due to how his awful parents groomed him, and his whole character arc is learning how to be more selfish. Of course, Iruma’s selfishness manifests as eating all the food he wants, holding on to his family and friends, and finding ambition.

Sullivan (the first guy) adopts Iruma as his grandson after his parents sold him. This dude radiates grandpa energy and his number one priority is to spoil his new grandson. He’s also the principal of the school he sends Iruma too. And one of the most powerful demons in the netherworld. Opera is Sullivan’s butler, and warms up to Iruma a bit slower than Sullivan (so like a few days). They’re not very expressive facially. Rather they mainly express emotions through their ears and tail. They’re a total Badass™ and surprisingly mischievous. Alice Asmodeus (on the left of the 3rd pic) swore his undying loyalty to Iruma after Iruma accidentally kicked his ass. This man is ride or die, and honestly my words can’t do him justice so it’s better if you just experience this gay disaster for yourself. Clara Valac (right of the same pic) is a gremlin and I love her. Her priority is to play with her friends All. The. Time. But she also has insecurities about her personality after it stopped her from making friends. I put Ameri Azazel (please step on me) in between them. She’s the student council president, a badass, and a huge romantic. Naberius Kalego is the homeroom teacher of the misfit class (the class Iruma ends up in.) He’s a Very strict teacher, but genuinely cares about his students and is good at his job. There are so many other characters, but I want to avoid spoilers and get sleep tonight.

14 year old Suzuki Iruma was raised by his parents to do chores and make them money. Eventually they decided that he wasn’t bringing in enough, so they sold him to a demon who takes him to the netherworld. Instead of eating him though, Sullivan (the demon) asks him to become his grandson, and Iruma, who’s unable to say no under any circumstances, says yes. He starts school at the demon school Babyls (pictured above) where he attends as the only human. Of course if anyone finds out they’ll eat him. While at school, he realizes that he doesn’t have an ambition of his own, so Ameri suggests that he try climbing the ranks (all demons are ranked by their power you know the drill).

This manga is hilarious! With such jokes as Iruma eating a ridiculous amount of food, every interaction between Asmodeus and Clara, and Ameri’s obsession with shojo manga. One of the funniest bits is that due to some unfortunate circumstances, Kalego becomes Iruma’s familiar, and you’ll learn all about this if you check it out, but for now all you need to know is that that fluffy chicken is Kalego. Crossdressing has been used for comedy like three times now, but not in a degrading way. It’s not the butt of the joke or anything. That’s Iruma, and he looks fucking amazing as many other characters have said many times 100% seriously. Moving on, cause explaining humor is difficult!

I adore how Clara is allowed to be a hyperactive gremlin, and I’m not talking “oh she’s quirky” I’m talking playing involves battle axes and acting like a demon bowling ball. You know the trope where the powerful girl isn’t actually that serious and instead is a huge romantic? Well Ameri may be a romantic, but her seriousness isn’t an act. She is 100% dedicated to her ambitions. And look at the designs for some of the recurring background characters! Too often in fantasy settings the female monsters, demons, etc are reduced to almost entirely human, with the exact same body type, and maybe horns or something. Not Here! There’s also the girls in the misfit class who all have their own motivations and interests. I’m also now realizing how many tall girls are in this series… awesome.

Ok so the fact that there’s even more than one queer character already make this amazing. But in addition to that, it’s never treated like a big deal. I mean look at the second picture “gender doesn’t matter to demons” love wins! So Eiko is a recurring character who has a huge crush on both Iruma and Ameri, and later becomes comrades with Asmodeus specifically when it comes to Iruma (they share photos of him it’s hilarious). Asmodeus having a crush on Iruma isn’t explicitly stating, but like I’d like to see someone argue that he doesn’t. Besides, his feelings are always treated the same as Clara’s and Eiko’s when it comes to Iruma. The holy grail of representation though is Opera who’s never referred to by gendered terms. The english dub of the anime actually specifically uses they/them pronouns. When I tell you I screamed! I could go on, but I’m I’m trying to avoid introducing too many characters.

In Mairimashita! Iruma-kun a good family supports and loves each other completely, regardless of blood relations. But it’s not either or. Sullivan, Opera, and Iruma are my golden standard for found family. I mean their love of Iruma is over the top and unconditional, which is what Iruma needs after a life without any such love from his parents. Biological relations are shown as something that isn’t always great, yet it’s not something to be expected either. Clara’s family is a gift, and Asmodeus’ family is one of the funniest dynamics I’ve seen.

These are typically considered negative traits, but here they are portrayed as desirable and useful. And it’s a convincing argument. Through Iruma we see that having your own ambitions and getting pissed is necessary for living a fulfilling life, and we see this because he starts out without having that. Every single time Iruma declares his own ambitions or says something selfish it’s just… chills. It’s always a powerful scene. Whenever Iruma gets truly pissed over something (which has legitimately only happened twice) we all cheer cause we’re so proud of him. I could write a whole essay about this one aspect of the story, but just know that I consider this to be an incredibly compelling narrative, and my favorite part of Mairimashita! Iruma-kun.

In conclusion, I’m posting this on my birthday, so as a present I would like more people to get into this fandom because it deserves a larger fanbase.

#mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #i said i was gonna do it and i did #my favorite series needs more love

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