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cherry-interlude · 3 years

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Lana Del Rey Songs Categorised

I didn't include a few but that's covers/demos / sorted by vibe/lyrics / there are other versions of this that could be made

Bad Girl - Lana's bad girl songs that make you feel cool af

Scarface

Summer of Sam

Making Out

Put Your Lips Together

Dum Dum

Kinda Outta Luck

Children of the Bad Revolution

Dangerous Girl

Girl That Got Away

Maha Maha

Hangin' Around

Catch and Release

Queen of the Gas Station

Gramma

Smarty

St Tropez

I Learned How To Make Love

Teen Romance

Prom Song (Gone Wrong)

Paris

Puppy Love

Television Heaven

Love

Back To Tha Basics

Brooklyn Baby

Me and My Boyfriend

Sweet Romance - Somewhat gentle and cute romance songs

Starry Eyed

When I'm With You

JFK

Because of You

Daddy Issues

Tulsa Jesus Freak

Bartender

Groupie Love

Lust For Life

Lucky Ones

American

Joshy and I

Dreamgirl

For K Part 2

You Mister

Coca Cola

How Do You Know Me So Well?

Stoplight Delite

Serious Romance - They have a more serious tone but they're genuinely romantic

Yosemite

Swan Song

Cinnamon Girl

Living Legend

True Love - Deep and romantic

Let Me Love You Like A Woman

Young and Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful

Venice Bitch

Love Song

California

Old Money

Off To The Races

Video Games

Never Let Me Go

On Our Way

Heartbreak - Songs for feeling all kinds of sad romantically

Thunder

Hallucinogenics

Fine China

French Restaurant

Hollywood's Dead

Your Band Is All The Rage

Afraid

Some Things Last A Hard Time

Happiness Is A Butterfly

White Mustang

Norman Fucking Rockwell

Terrence Loves You

The Blackest Day

Cruel World

Dark Paradise

Summertime Sadness

Blue Jeans

Pawn Shop Blues

Westbound

Methamphetamines

F You - Aimed for people who kind of suck

Tired of Singing the Blues

Noir

Playground

It's Not You It's Just Me

Damn You

In My Feelings

High By The Beach

Flipside

In The Sun

So Legit

Seduction - Sexual songs generally

Trash Magic

Us Against The World

Marilyn

Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight

Paradise

Playing Dangerous

Behind Closed Doors

You Can Be The Boss

Party Girl

Pussycat Kittycat

BBM Baby

Big Bad Wolf

Be My Daddy

Ooh Baby

Push Me Down

Delicious

Freak

Salvatore

Daddy's Girl

Burning Desire

Mermaid Motel

Yayo

Disco

Hey You

Body Electric

Kill Kill

Jimmy Gnecco

Wolf T-Shirt

Sad Romance - Kind of toxic romance or the darker side of romance

TV In Black and White

I Talk To Jesus

Colour Blue

Put The Radio On

My Best Days

Resistance

Velvet Crowbar

Breaking Up Slowly

Fuck It I Love You

The Next Best American Record

The Greatest

Cherry

Summer Bummer

Tomorrow Never Came

Shades of Cool

Black Beauty

Is This Happiness?

Million Dollar Man Pretty Baby

Drive By

Hey Blue Baby

Greenwich

Hawaiin Tropic

Axl Rose Husband

Butterflies Part 1

Heartshaped Chevrolet

Bellevue

Ben

How To Disappear

Dreamy - Aesthetically pleasing songs sonically, and a lot of Lana's songs are but these stand out the most

Yes To Heaven

Angels Forever Forever Angels

Ave Maria

Wayamaya

Roses Bloom

Honeymoon

Art Deco

Religion

West Coast

Guns and Roses

Bel Air

Cherry Blossom

Dangerous Love - Jealousy and obsession

Your Girl

Is It Wrong?

Jealous Girl

She's Not Me

Serial Killer

Caught You Boy

Roses

Criminal and Gangsta Love - The bad romances

Queen of Disaster

Backfire

Beautiful Player

Crooked Cop

Hundred Dollar Bill

Gangsta Boy

Live or Die

Hit and Run

Ghetto Baby

Every Man Gets His Wish

Live Forever

Bad Boy

Match Made In Heaven

Bops - They're good for bopping

Roll With Me

Motel 6

Florida Kilos

Brite Lites

Diet Mountain Dew

Boom Like That

Starlet - A lot of Lana's songs feature starlets but these are the songs that let her shine as a star

Hollywood Dynamite

Fake Diamond

A Star For Nick

Radio

Strong - Being the stronger one in the relationship

Lift Your Eyes

Serene Queen

Break My Fall

Big Eyes

I Can Fly

Get Free

Mariner's Apartment Complex

Ride

All You Need

Junky Pride

Move

There's Nothing To Be Sorry About

More Mountains

In Wendy

Wild One

Wait

Weird Vibe - They either sound creepy or just have an unsettling feel

Bentley

C U L8r Alligator

Strangelove

You and Me

Let My Hair Down

Get Drunk

Betty Boop Boop

Jump

Raise Me Up (Mississippi South)

Jesus Is My Boyfriend

Hmm - They could go into other categories but they are songs that have darker, disturbing elements

Baby Blue Love

1949

Roller Derby

Heavy Hitter

Boarding School

Ultraviolence

Lolita

Put Me In A Movie

Sad Girl - Songs with a sad vibe

Last Girl on Earth

All Smiles

Wait For Life

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have - But I Have It

13 Beaches

Heroin

Music To Watch Boys To

God Knows I Tried

Pretty When You Cry

Carmen

This Is What Makes Us Girls

Without You

Oh Say Can You See

Born To Die

Valley of the Dolls

Stripper - Pure stripper theme

Go Go Dancer

Dance For Money

Midnite Dancer Girlfriend

Other Woman - Pure other woman theme

Other Woman

True Love On The Side

Sad Girl

Cola

Next To Me

Money/Fame/Materialism - Songs that revolve around those three things

Money Power Glory

Fucked My Way Up To The Top

Gods and Monsters

National Anthem

Breaking My Heart

Makes You Think - Deeper songs

Coachella

God Bless America - And All The Beautiful Women In It

When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing

Beautiful People Beautiful Problems

Change

Money Hunny

Looking For America

Songs That Sound Like Diary Entries - More personal tracks

I Must Be Stupid For Being So Happy

My Momma

Wild At Heart

Dark But Just A Game

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Blizzard

Elvis

White Dress

Aviation

Run Motorcycle

Out With A Bang

Dance Til We Die

Bad Disease

Fordham Road

I Don't Wanna Go

For You

Try Tonight

You're Gonna Love Me

Outliers - They're more happy

Come When You Call Me

Birds of a Feather

Driving In Cars With Boys

#lana del rey #lana del rey songs #lana del rey unreleased #may jailer #lizzy grant #aka lizzy grant #sirens #born to die: the paradise edition #ultraviolence #honeymoon #lust for life #norman fucking rockwell #chemtrails over the country club

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bo-oliver · 3 years

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As someone who was raised deeply embedded in Evangelicalism, in often cult-like extremes, the events of January 6th were triggering to watch.

Before my eyes all of these events, I had been warned would take place, unfolded. My body was reliving every time my imagination ran wild as a young girl after my father told us how one day we would have to rise up. In my mind, scenes replay on repeat. Memories run through my mind of my father sitting on a stool in the corner of the basement, obsessively cleaning bolt action rifles. The metallic and repetitive “chackchack chackchack” sound of him feverishly cocking and uncocking the action of one of those rifles plays in my mind. He often does this compulsively while watching the news or history channel. This was the soundtrack of my teen years and the broken record playing in my head while I watched people marching on the Capitol waving Christian flags.

I see the image of a cross being erected on my phone screen and suddenly I'm in the living room of my childhood home. My mother reads to the four of us from a collection of true stories about Christian missionaries who were tortured and executed for their faith. My imagination is sprinting at a breakneck, wreckless speed as I recall a story of Chinese missionaries who were blind-folded and lined up youngest to oldest and beheaded.

My childhood mind conjures hypothetical scenarios where someone demands I recant my faith or I'll be executed. Two diverging scenarios play out after that, one I am able to cling to my faith the other I am not. In the former, I picture myself being dragged off by masked figures in black. I see in my mind the cruel glint of a machete reflecting light as it is raised above my neck. After that the conjured scene goes dark and then I live the latter scenario. In this one I am not able to hold on to my faith and I convert to the religion of my persecutor. In this version, I imagine living out the rest of my life filled with regret, knowing that I made the wrong choice. I imagine dying sometime after that and opening my eyes to see God staring down at me with a look of disappointment in his eyes. In a booming masculine voice he says to me "depart from me I never knew you." After this, I am transported to what I know now is really just a scene out of Dante's Inferno. In my mind I play out some of the agony that I might experience in Hell trying to fathom what an eternity of that might be like. My limited human brain falls short.

Then I am back in the living room listening to my mother solemnly explain that here in America we are blessed with the freedom to practice our religion but in some other countries people are not so fortunate. I sit, listening intently, as she goes on to explain that one day, before Jesus comes back, we will lose our freedom. She tells us that these stories could be our reality one day. In the days before Jesus returns there will be much persecution as a test for our faith.

In the years to follow I live out these scenarios frequently in my mind. Often they play out at night while I lay staring up at the ceiling from the top of the bunk bed I share with my sister. I go over them obsessively trying to convince myself that whatever torture I experience on earth would be nothing compared to what I would experience in hell. I am terrified, knowing deep down I would not be able to withstand torture for my faith.

This memory fades and a new one takes its place. My father is sitting at his basement workbench reloading rounds for his German Mosen Nagant rifle. He has explained that one day we will lose our second ammendment right to bear arms. When this day comes we will have no where to go to buy ammunition and so he prepares by learning the process of reloading spent brass rounds himself. I remember watching in fascination as lead, scrapped from parts of old machines, melts in a dented saucepan on top of a camp stove. I remember seeing the lead being poured into a mold from a little stainless steal ladel. I can almost smell molten lead, the gun powder, the brass rounds, as I recall this process.

My memory then shifts to coming home with male friends from youth group. My father pulls them aside to "show off" this gun collection. Even now I'm not sure if his intent was to intimidate, impress, or if it was some twisted test to see their reactions and judge masculinity levels. This ritual was always deeply uncomfortable and if you were one of those male friends who had to experience this I am sorry. It must have been disturbing as an outsider trying to understand the intention.

These memories are what my mind and body goes to as I watch videos of white evangelicals marching on the Capitol. I know this well. This is what my childhood prepared us for. This is the natural progression of Evangelicals obsession with the idea of Christianity being a persecuted religion in this country. This where it leads when a group so accustomed to having political power loses even a small amount of it. All of a sudden everything they have been preaching about for years becomes a reality in their eyes. They have both feared it and awaited it with a sense of reverent excitement. It is a reality that they have been ready and eagerly waiting for.

#ex christian #ex religious #religious trauma #exvangelical #ex cult #apostate #fuck religion #childhood trauma #fuck the church #washington dc #deconstruction #childhood neglect #religion is toxic #child indoctrination

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pamphletstoinspire · 3 years

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The New State Church Comes for You

Children as young as six are being taught “sex is assigned at birth.” They are being taught that boys and girls can be born into the wrong body, that boys can turn into girls and girls into boys. Children are being forced to use the “proper pronouns.” This is happening in the public school, where secularists believe religion was banned in 1962-63.

But none of these claims are based in science. There are no objective scientific criteria for being a new “gender,” for being non-binary, two-spirit, or even “feeling” you are the wrong sex. All of these propositions are based on faith, a new heretic-hunting faith that requires the imposition of its beliefs on younger and younger ages.

Consider forcing a boy to call another boy “she.” This is not only a monstrous lie; it is also forcing a boy to recite a religious dogma in direct violation of his own beliefs that God created them male and female.

Secularists insist that religion was banned in public schools with the school prayer decision of 1962. Secularists insist we live in a secular age. Nothing could be further from the truth. In my last column, I argued that we live in a deeply religious age, that those who claim “none” status are still profoundly religious. Even a certain percentage of atheists believe God is important to their lives. It is impossible to get away from some vision of the sacred.

In this column, I will argue not only that we live in a profoundly religious age, but that there is a new religion, perhaps a newly revived old religion, but more importantly, a newly established Church. This official state Church has been established through a series of Supreme Court decisions, beginning with the school prayer decision in 1962 and banning school-based Bible reading in 1963.

Understand, the banned school prayer was relatively anodyne:

Almighty God, we acknowledge our dependence upon Thee, and we beg Thy blessings upon us, our parents, our teachers and our country. Amen.

It was written by a committee of Protestant pastors, Catholic priests, and Jewish rabbis. Thirteen New York judges upheld the constitutionality of this prayer. Thirteen. It was banned only when it reached the Supreme Court. This began the process to effectively remove Christianity from the public schools, and it also cast a disapproving pall over Christianity. Somehow, Christianity was henceforth suspect, if not dangerous for schoolchildren to hear.

A year later, the Supreme Court banned Bible reading in public schools and said that the Constitution demands government must remain “neutral” in matters of religion and that this neutrality is achieved only if the government limits itself to “secular” purposes having primarily “secular” effects.

This decision was the Supreme Court putting its thumb on the scale in the culture wars. Before this moment, there was a healthy debate in this country from the founding onward about who we are as a people. On one side are those we may call the “providentialists” who see the hand of God in history and believe this must play a role in our public life and even be taught to our schoolchildren. On the other side are the seculars who believe religion can have no part in our public lives. Both sides were represented at the founding, and the debate between the two parties continued until 1963 with this court decision.

These decisions were the beginning of an established church. “Secular” may have had many meanings over time. Most people reading this are “secular” since they are not “religious,” that is, not in religious congregations or ordained. But in the modern age, “secular” has come to mean without God, without religion. Therefore, a purely secular government must also be without God. But we also know no man can be without the sacred of some kind. And into this supposedly bare secularity came a new faith and a new established church that was spelled out in subsequent decisions of the Supreme Court; on contraception, abortion, sodomy, and same-sex marriage.

This new established Church has been communicated down through the federal government, through the Justice Department, and the Department of Education, to the state and local governments, and down to the schoolhouse down the road.

Who are the priests in this new Church? Anyone who wears a robe; judges, academics, scientists, those who hand down the new encyclicals that the faithful accept without question. They say boys may be girls. This fanciful idea has no basis in science or even reason. It is a matter of pure faith. And the faithful accept it and then force it on others, including schoolchildren.

The Supreme Court decisions on school prayer and Bible reading were crucial because prayer and the Bible were part of the story that we told about ourselves, about who we were. In that way, there is no more important place to tell the story of who we are than what we tell little children. But we no longer tell little children that story about ourselves because it has been banned by the high priests of the Supreme Court and replaced with a new story.

Gender theory is not the only denomination in the new established Church. There is also pantheism, seeing the sacred in the environment. It is interesting to note that no less than Alexis de Tocqueville wrote in Democracy in America that Americans would have to choose between pantheism and Catholicism one day.

Yet another denomination in the new established Church is the sex-obsessed who see the sacred in the orgasm and their sexual pleasure. Those involved in things like bondage and domination speak openly about how their proclivities are deeply religious experiences.

All of these are one way or another being taught to little school children, and this has become the story we tell about ourselves in the 21st century.

At heart, it is a debate between what Professor Steven Smith calls the “Immanentists” and the “transcendents;” between those who place the sacred exclusively on the temporal plane and those who know the sacred may be present to us here and now but exists beyond our vision. This was the essential debate between the pagans in ancient Rome and the Christians. And now, the Immanentists have the whip hand, and they are using it.

Catholics and other Christians must understand that we are not merely up against a new faith but a new faith that is an established Church backed by the power of the federal, state, and local governments.

But I do not despair, and neither should you. On the contrary, as I write in my book—Under Siege: No Finer Time to be a Faithful Catholic—this is a time of rejoicing because God knows what He is about. He knew this degradation of society would be upon us. And what did He do? He sent the likes of us here, right now, to defend His creation. Things may seem very dark for us, but we must rest assured that future generations will look back with envy that they could not be here with us, when things look so very desperate, fighting against the new established Church.

BY: AUSTIN RUSE

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eeattherich · 4 years

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We are much closer to facism than most people would think

(from leftnortheast)

This is from the US Holocaust Memorial Museum.

[the slide includes a picture of poster that reads: early warning signs of facism in big print. Beneath it it lists the warning signs: powerful and continuing nationalism, disdain for human rights, identification of enemies as a unifying cause, supremacy of the military, rampant sexism, controlled mass media, obsession with national security, religion and government intertwined, corporate power protected, labor power suppressed, disdain for intellectuals and the arts, obsession with crime and punishment, rampant cronyism and corruption, and finally fraudulent election]

Each early warning sign is here in present-day America.

1) Powerful and Continuing Nationalism

both presidential candidates are relying strongly on nationalism to make their case for the Oval Office. Trump’s nationalism (“Make America Great Again/Keep America Great”) is much more obvious, but Biden’s emphasis on “fighting for the soul of our nation” and the like appeals to voters who want to restore their sense of American exceptionalism lost under Trump.

2) Disdain for Human Rights

there are ICE concentration camps at the US-Mexico border where many have died from awful conditions, gone missing, or have been separated from their families. The United States has destabilized, bombed, and invaded dozens of countries in the Middle East and the global south in the name of corporate profit. Millions are homeless and without healthcare in the richest country on the planet, and recently President Trump has proposed numerous transphobic pieces of legislation

3) Identification of Enemies as a Unifying Cause

the Cold War and the War on Terror are the most prominent examples of this “common enemy” tactic used to rally public opinion. In recent weeks, Trump and the GOP have used Antifa, which isn’t even a real organization, as a scapegoat for the protests and riot, despite leaked FBI documents showing there was zero evidence found of Antifa involvement in the George Floyd protests. The Democrats have also used the “common enemy” tactic, most often with Trump himself. The corporate owned DNC was able to justify nominating a centrist candidate whose policy measures do nothing to address the poverty and systematic poverty the majority of American people face

4) Supremacy of the Military

one of [leftnortheast’s] recent posts goes into detail about how much we spend on our military. Not only is it vast amounts of funding completely contrary to what Americans need, out military is used primarily by our politicians to install and maintain corporate-friendly governments in third world countries

5) Rampant Sexism

Donald Trump has dozens of rape allegations and was caught on tape saying he grabs women “by the pussy” to get them to sleep with him. Joe Biden has a number of allegations of inappropriate behavior himself, as well as an extremely credible rape accusation from Tara Reade

6) Controlled Mass Media

90% of American media is owned by five corporations. As [leftnortheast] talked about in [their] recent #MediaMonday post, these corporations are beginning to censor smaller, dissenting political voices

7) Obsession with National Security

after 9/11, the government passed the Patriot Act, and now out government (through the NSA, FBI, etc.) now have completely stripped Americans of their privacy by monitoring phone calls, messages, emails, etc. In fact, immediately following the first wave of George Floyd protests, an overwhelming bipartisan majority voted to give Trump increased survelliance powers, something that’s been done before. There were also credible reports of spy planes monitoring peaceful protests.

8) Religion and Government Intertwined

Trump’s bible photo-op was probably the most egregious example of this, but it’s not hard to find this. “In God we trust” remains the United State’s official motto, and “one nation, under God” remains in our Pledge of Allegiance. “God Bless America” is another one of Trump’s favorites.

9) Corporate Power Protected, Labor Power Suppressed

[leftnortheast] combined these two, as they are both untrusting to a capitalist economy— the two classes have conflicting interests and need to stymie the other’s in order to succeed. Corporate power is protected by the state, because the capitalist class uses lovbying, corporate media, and campaign donations to ensure politicians serve their interests and not those of the people, the working class.

10) Disdain for the Intellectuals and the Arts

Public schools and colleges across the country have cut arts and humanities programs at an alarming rate

11) Obsession with Crime and Punishment

Despite only making up 4% of the global population, the United States accounts for 20% of the world prison population. The US has the most people in prison per capita of any country on a Earth.

12) Rampant Cronyism and Corruption

For 2018, the median net worth of members of Congress was $511,000. The richest Congressional members are worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

13) Fraudulent Elections

There is more than enough evidence to conclude the Democratic Party rigged the 2016 presidential primary in favor of Hillary Clinton. Documents have been released revealing the DNC was working jointly with Hillary Clinton while the primary was still happening, and emails brought to the public show how the DNC would work with the media to manufacture smear campaigns against Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders. Mass voter suppression is prevalent throughout this country.

After the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was passed, voter suppression, which targets BIPOC and low income communities especially, was declining. By 2012 for example, 90.2% of eligible Black voters in Mississippi were registered to vote, compared to less than 10% prior to it’s passage. However, in 2013, the Supreme Court ruled that the Voting Rights Act was unconstitutional. Since then, thousands of polling places have been closed around the country, many of them in predominantly Black neighborhoods, and other obstacles target transgender, low income, BIPOC, and/or young voters like voter ID laws have become increasingly popular.

For example, in 2016, a voter ID law in Wisconsin had blocked around 27% of the systems Black population from voting, which the Republican Attourney General would later brag had helped Donald Trump win Wisconsin

Final Slide: If the working class is not aware that it is the flaws of capitalism and the actions of the bourgeoisie that has forced them into a poor material state, they will often misdirect their hatred, which is why a lot of fascist states scapegoated specific groups of people.

This was evident in many of the 20th century fascist states in Europe.

In times of economic strife, the bourgeoise are more likely to endorse a fascist revolution, because it will quell the working class and allow them to maintain their assets and power.

“Fascism should more appropriately be called corporatism, because it is the merger of state and corporate power” - Benito Mussolini

#facism #antifa #anti facism #anti facist #antifacist #antifacism #donald trump #trump #joe biden #biden #democrat #republican #us politics #american politics

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davinciandwilde · 4 years

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A letter to my pastor

I have been a child of your congregation since I was 12 years old

I have trusted and followed you for over half of my life and did everything I was told

I still hold every single handout and paper from every sermon I have ever attended

Every guest speaker, every fill in the blank, any outside studies you recommended

Revelations and notes and independent studies saved onto a USB

It was because of you, I thought, that I was able to find and know peace

To find some measure in my roller coaster faith as I sang and swayed

I remember weeping in worship, I remember hope when the congregation prayed

I remember when this unexpected journey started, that betrayal and pain

I remember waiting for somebody to notice, for God to send his people like a holy campaign

But no one saw my suffering or the road that I was taking. There were no miracles waiting.

I thought surely, in the church of God where the heart, his people, are pulsating

It is only a matter of time before a message, a sign, or a vision is gifted

It is only a matter of time before this journey will end or this weight lifted

It is only a matter of time, but that time never came, and I don’t blame you completely for that

I had a responsibility to reach out too, to rely on people and not a divine act

My point is that I crawled and broke and rebuilt myself in the safety of your walls

But Pastor I look around and realize it has been a long time since I felt safety in you at all

I find myself searching through my Bible to see if we are reading the same passage

Double checking your sermon, scanning word choice, researching context, like I’m back in English classes

It hurts, finding so much doubt where I once found so much hope and blessings

I guess an easier way to say this Pastor is I find myself second guessing

Only God may know how many queer kids you chased away from your congregation

Your passive response of ‘Love the sinner, hate the sin’ is a devastating placation

It only teaches that God’s love may be unconditional, but his people’s love is limited

Support is limited. Understanding is limited. Conversations are limited.

It taught my parents to not speak about me being forced to come out to them for 3 years

And the next time we did, it was a check in to see if this whole being gay phase had been cleared

You tell us there is only one church and we are all united under the spirit of God

If that was true, why do I feel guilt looking to attend other churches, like a fraud

Like I’m running away, but I am tired of sitting silently and telling myself to endure and just take it

I don’t think I’m asking for much when I look for a church that won’t lump me together with sexual predators and rapists

If I am honest, I feel only a small bit of relief when I think of leaving

It’s mostly fear that isn’t the church or its people or your preaching

But the religion I have devoted myself to, if it’s teachings were ever worth believing

Pastor, I am sorry, I know part of it is me, I know some of this is projecting

But there is a passivity to the real wars in front of you that bothers me, honestly!

Forget invisible wars and sins and satan and your obsession with adultery and pornography

If there is a problem with teenage pregnancy why not teach proper sex-ed in your youth classes?

If there is a problem with alcoholism, would you be willing to offer non-secular AA meetings to the masses?

If there is a problem with drugs, would be willing to use those same locations for church retreats for detox and recovery

If there is a problem with greed and corruption in America, why do you keep creating missions and leaving for other countries?

In fact, let’s get radical, you like getting radical, and take it a step further

You say the world is dangerous and broken and in need of good Christian morals, all united together

Tell me then, what are we doing to serve the mothers and fathers in our poor communities?

Are we lobbying for jobs? For better housing or affordable rent? Are we building more opportunities?

What about living wages, better schools or public transportation? Maybe even homes instead of shelters

Are we looking to increase mental health awareness, or therapist availability or medicine, so folks can get stable before they can get better?

Are we offering to take the kids off the street who were kicked out of good Christian homes for being gay or transgender?

If as many folks in your church are Christian, as they claim, and each location has over a thousand members

Then why, in our little city, is it not possible to eradicate homelessness, sickness and hunger if so choose

Why are the needs of our community not being met with your good Christian values?

I know you go out into the city a few times and technically meet the bare minimum criteria

But you never seem to talk about it or have as many pictures than your mission trips to Africa or India

If you spent half of your million-dollar budget improving your hometown as you do on your mission trips

Then maybe we would have more to offer than food pantry’s and soup kitchens that are just a quick fix

If you can see the problem is systemic than why are we only taking care of the symptoms

Why is the church not leading a stand against this passive and heartless system?

Why do we say the world is harsh when the survivor finds no protection in us?

Why do we say the world is cruel when the weak find no strength in us?

Why do we say the world is dividing us when the lonely find no community in us?

Why do we say the world is corrupt when the vulnerable find no comfort in us?

Why do we say the world is unrelenting when the wary find no peace in us?

Why do we say the world is hateful when the heartbroken find no love in us?

I was under the impression that the church was made for these and the least of us

But I do not see them in your church, Pastor. I do not see them.

#my poetry #my poems #fuck it #enjoy my trauma #might as well post the other one too #personal #ok to reblog

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manicpixiedreamjew · 5 years

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ok i rewrote and revised my letter! let me know what you think

2/9/19

Rabbi Randy,

As our Into class comes to an end, a lot has been on my mind. My spirituality, my values; how my perception of the world has changed as I solidify my Jewish identity, especially as a young woman. I spent a few hours poring over journal entries dating back all the way to 2016 this Shabbat, and a consistent theme stood out in all of them: an overwhelming, genuine urge to live an authentic Jewish life. I read, thrown back into the innocent curiosity, the puppy love, the childlike fascination with Jews and Judaism that began with a book. The Chosen, the very first Jewish book I read, and I’m sure I’ve told you this story before; I’ll spare the details.

Anyway, those first inklings of interest, say, early 2016, were academic. I was a vehement atheist born to a family of atheists. Then again, who has a nuanced understanding of religion and people-hood at sixteen? My atheism was an obstinate, cynical world view triggered by traumatic experiences with Christianity. When I picked up The Chosen, though...I was slapped right across the face. Judaism was the first thing that challenged my philosophies; it forced me into an entirely foreign universe I never thought I’d know, need or understand. It taught me empathy foremost, in those early days...studying Judaism exhorted me to bear the burden of others, to feed the hungry (a MAZON seminar comes to mind), comfort the weary. Looking at my journal, an entry dated 3/3/17 elaborates on the effects of antisemitism in America, and next to that a newspaper cut out of a Magen David. It wasn’t quite personal then, but it was something I wouldn’t have looked twice at a few years earlier. It disturbed me deeply.

Then, mid-late 2017. The journal entries shifted, as you’d expect; I’d been exhaustively involved in reading and researching by then. I see a lovingly inscribed entry detailing, religiously, my first Kabbalat Shabbat at CRC. 7/1/17. The smells, the melodies, my friends, the birthday celebration of two elderly men who loved baseball. “A deep, riveting admiration for something ancient and pulsing with life.” That puppy-love stage was in full effect, my love of Judaism and its personal implications blossomed over the springtime, although its fragrance wasn’t entirely sweet: I was forced to confront my identity and ask myself that looming question. Do I want to become a Jew?

That question threw me for a loop. It was an emotionally intense time. I confided to my closest friend that, although it may sound absurd, converting to Judaism was something I was interested in. I remember crying myself to sleep some nights because the decision was so massive, so heavy, so entirely suffocating for someone with no background in religion, no sense of community or family. Eventually, though, my fate did not seem so dire, and I came to my senses: I loved Judaism. I loved it, I love it. One of the first things that stood out to me and comforted me was the Jewish emphasis on family, something I never experienced. I clung to it: how someone’s always there for you; how you’re adopted into world-wide support network called the Tribe. How no matter where you travel, anywhere in the world, someone will enthusiastically invite you over for Shabbat lunch. How, because you are Jewish, you will never suffer alone.

That, then, began my serious resolve to be Jewish, do Jewish and live Jewish.

Ever since I met with you on 11/21/17 (I have an entry for that, too!), my life has been a foray into Jewishness. You told me to start observing Shabbat and Yom Tov, and I did so with vigor: I bought a chanukiah, acquired the shiniest candlesticks I could, and read every book the local library had regarding proper observances. I look back on my first few holidays and laugh now, playfully admonishing myself for my mistakes and mishaps. But that’s the fun, right? If I learned anything from this week’s Parsha (Terumah), it’s that the means are more much important than the end, the intention more meaningful than the actualization. Late 2017 to early 2018 was all that: learning, doing, experiencing, interacting, existing with a fat dose of humility. Organizing a basic Jewish vocabulary, and through Shabbat services and working with the community, pinning down what it means to live a Jewish life.

Enter 2018! This was, perhaps, the most frustrated and chaotic year on my Journey to Jewish. To start, it was my last semester of high-school. Everything, and I mean Everything, was dependent on my graduation—most saliently my own happiness and sanity. My synagogue attendance was dwindling, my ambition and motivation was all but absent. I’ve always suffered from depression and severe anxiety, but its clutch tightened horribly those first few months. I managed to attend a Kol Nidre service in early September—and, it remains one of my most beautiful and cherished memories to date. December, I know, was the hardest. Between my Catholic father making crusade jokes and my Jesus-obsessed mother spewing casual antisemitism, between unending loads of coursework and no free time, I felt my spirit literally withering. This never weakened my resolve to live Jewishly, but some days I just couldn’t bring myself to enact the values I knew I held in my heart. Some days Judaism felt like a beloved friend, and others Judaism felt like a stranger. Nevertheless I continued to live as Jewish a life I could, but even kindling the Chanukah candles felt joyless. I was like Tevye standing in the middle of the woods, anguished, as his horse refused to budge. Through all of it, though—the sadness, numbness, friction—I was never, ever, once deterred. That’s how life is sometimes. But to be a Jew, as our own Reb Tevye zealously insisted, you must have hope.

And I did. This is when Judaism became real to me, when I realized it was a part of my life and etched into my very being. If I could live Jewishly, study, be a part of my community and find solace while also dealing with these hardships, this was clearly meant to be. I’ve been using “us” and “we” pronouns for a few months now, referring to myself as Jewish even though I’ve yet to immerse in a mikveh. When our class visited the Holocaust museum, the loss and heartache I felt was profoundly intimate...a personal loss, the loss of family I never had the opportunity to know and love. I had never experienced anything like that before, and it continues to haunt me. I’ve been the target of hateful and ignorant remarks. People have glowered at my Magen David; they’ve called me names and insulted me. “Christ killer, money hoarder, dirty Jew.”

But, and I’m a bit weepy remembering this, living Jewishly (and loudly at that) is a blessing. Maybe two summers ago I catered to an older family for their son’s graduation party. An uncle approached me, blinked at my Magen David and muttered “bless you.” I was visibly shaken; I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Later in the evening the grandmother touched my shoulder and asked, “are you Jewish?” I told her I was a conversion student. She embraced me, dug out dreidels from her kitchen drawer, and told me that she was separated from her Judaism during childhood. That it was too dangerous for her to practice, that she wanted to go back to synagogue now that she was safe. I encouraged her daughter to finally have her bar mitzvah. My heart was full. Another memory I’m fond of: wishing a stranger chag Pesach sameach and Shabbat Shalom on the street. He was wearing a kippah. The smile on that man’s face was unforgettable.

Those moments, to me, were godly. Actions are a conduit of holiness; I’ve learned that over the years. To act with intent and sanctify the mundane is second nature to us. A bracha, a kind word, charity, song...everything is a vessel for godliness.

Fast forward a bit: 2019. As I grew into my adult identity, so did I into my Jewish identity. I had my 18th birthday, graduated, passed my driving test. I began to wrap my hair on Shabbat, meditate on the Sh’ma swathed in a tallit, give tzedakah. Often times I sat in the little CRC classroom and pondered on the application of my learning: how it translated into my everyday life, how it reconciled with my values as a progressive woman in today’s society...but mostly, I think, I thought about how at home I felt. I walk into CRC and immediately feel at peace; a part of a family, the member of a loving household. I walk into the sanctuary and about a dozen people are ready to greet me with big, heartfelt smiles. It melts me every single time.

Alright, I’ll quit boring you with all this schmaltz.

I’m not sure that there was one definite moment when I knew, for sure, that being Jewish was the right choice for me. In fact, to assume all that soul searching could fit into one tiny, fleeting, ephemeral moment is ridiculous...as you know from the absurd length of this letter, which is only a minute fraction of my story. Seriously, I could go on, and on, and on; but I digress. Sitting at our Sukkot celebration and dancing with all the other people, looking up through the sukkah and marveling at the hanging plants and leaves. Baking challah on Friday morning and realizing that somewhere, other Jewish women are doing the exact same thing. Feeling warm summer wind on my face, seeing fireflies flicker through the bushes and knowing that HaShem is there. Touching my siddur to the Torah for the first time and bristling, feeling as though something breathed new life into me. Group Aliyah, a guiding hand on my shoulder as we chant the brachot in clumsy unison…

Each moment (and many more, and yet more to come) reaffirmed the fact that Judaism is my home. Ruth said it more succinctly and eloquently than I ever could: Your people shall be my people, and your God shall be my God.

Randy, I never thought I’d be doing this. Ever. Looking back at the learning and growing I’ve done, reading those journals and reminiscing on my journey, I can firmly say, if you agree, I’m ready to enter this Covenant officially.

Thank you for everything, as always,

Zoë

#oops its 5 pages #save

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graceland1414 · 6 years

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Sun/Moon- Lana Del Rey/Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aries-Moon Aries- Burning Desire- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Taurus- West Coast- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Gemini- Fucked My Way Up To The Top- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Cancer- Salvatore- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Leo- Art Deco- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Virgo- Kill Kill- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Libra- Cherry- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Scorpio- In My Feelings- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Sagittarius- Summer Bummer- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aries-Moon Capricorn- Power And Control- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aries-Moon Aquarius- Savages- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aries-Moon Pisces- Florida Kilos- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Aries- Froot- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Taurus-Moon Taurus- Blue Velvet- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Gemini- Off To The Races- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Cancer- Pawn Shop Blues- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Leo- Radio- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Virgo- Video Games- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Libra- Weeds- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Taurus-Moon Scorpio- Solitaire- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Taurus-Moon Sagittarius- Summertime Sadness- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Capricorn- Million Dollar Man- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Aquarius- Terrence Loves You- Lana Del Rey

Sun Taurus-Moon Pisces- Diet Mountain Dew- Lana Del Rey

Sun Gemini-Moon Aries- Carmen- Lana Del Rey

Sun Gemini-Moon Taurus- Smarty- Lana Del Rey

Sun Gemini-Moon Gemini- How To Be A Heartbreaker- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Gemini-Moon Cancer- Lies- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Gemini-Moon Leo- Lolita- Lana Del Rey

Sun Gemini-Moon Virgo- Fear And Loathing- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Gemini-Moon Libra- Homewrecker- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Gemini-Moon Scorpio- Better Than That- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Gemini-Moon Sagittarius- Guns And Roses- Lana Del Rey

Sun Gemini-Moon Capricorn- Cola- Lana Del Rey

Sun Gemini-Moon Aquarius- Can’t Pin Me Down- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Gemini-Moon Pisces- High By The Beach- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Aries- Blue Jeans- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Taurus- Old Money- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Gemini- Sad Girl- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Cancer- Tomorrow Never Came- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Leo- Pretty When I Cry- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Virgo- Fine China- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Libra- Blue- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Cancer-Moon Scorpio- Dark Paradise- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Sagittarius- Summer Wine- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Capricorn- Shades Of Cool- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Aquarius- Love- Lana Del Rey

Sun Cancer-Moon Pisces- Bel Air- Lana Del Rey

Sun Leo-Moon Aries- American- Lana Del Rey

Sun Leo-Moon Taurus- Put Me In A Movie- Lana Del Rey

Sun Leo-Moon Gemini- Bubblegum Bitch- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Leo-Moon Cancer- Primadonna- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Leo-Moon Leo- Hollywood- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Leo-Moon Virgo- Body Electric- Lana Del Rey

Sun Leo-Moon Libra- Without You- Lana Del Rey

Sun Leo-Moon Scorpio- Starring Role- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Leo-Moon Sagittarius- Queen Of The Gas Station- Lana Del Rey

Sun Leo-Moon Capricorn- Gold- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Leo-Moon Aquarius- 13 Beaches- Lana Del Rey

Sun Leo-Moon Pisces- Mermaid Motel- Lana Del Rey

Sun Virgo-Moon Aries- Miss Y- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Taurus- Obsessions- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Gemini- Scab And Plaster- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Cancer- Cherry Blossom- Lana Del Rey

Sun Virgo -Moon Leo- Teen Idle- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Virgo- Forget- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Libra- The Other Woman- Lana Del Rey

Sun Virgo-Moon Scorpio- Guilty- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Sagittarius- Happy- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Capricorn- God Knows I Tried- Lana Del Rey

Sun Virgo-Moon Aquarius- Hermit The Frog- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Virgo-Moon Pisces- Religion- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Aries- Ultraviolence- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Taurus- For K (Part 2)- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Gemini- This Is What Makes Us Girls- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Cancer- The Blackest Day- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Leo- Lonely Hearts Club- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Libra-Moon Virgo- Disconnect- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Libra-Moon Libra- Groupie Love- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Scorpio- Jealousy- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Libra-Moon Sagittarius- Beautiful Player- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Capricorn- Gramma- Lana Del Rey

Sun Libra-Moon Aquarius- Girls- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Libra-Moon Pisces- Lucky Ones- Lana Del Rey

Sun Scorpio-Moon Aries- Kinda Outta Luck- Lana Del Rey

Sun Scorpio-Moon Taurus- Honeymoon- Lana Del Rey

Sun Scorpio-Moon Gemini- 24- Lana Del Rey

Sun Scorpio-Moon Cancer- The Family Jewels- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Scorpio-Moon Leo- Sex Yeah- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Scorpio-Moon Virgo- Just Desserts- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Scorpio-Moon Libra- E.V.O.L- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Scorpio-Moon Scorpio- Living Dead- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Scorpio-Moon Sagittarius- Flipside- Lana Del Rey

Sun Scorpio-Moon Capricorn- Seventeen- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Scorpio-Moon Aquarius- Black Beauty- Lana Del Rey

Sun Scorpio-Moon Pisces- Starlight- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Aries- I’m A Ruin- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Taurus- Brooklyn Baby- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Gemini- White Mustang- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Cancer- Born To Die- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Leo- Gods And Monsters- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Virgo- Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Libra- Radioactive- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Scorpio- Cruel World- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Sagittarius- Raise Me Up (Mississippi south)- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Capricorn- Ride- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Aquarius- Freak- Lana Del Rey

Sun Sagittarius-Moon Pisces- Coachella-Woodstock In My Mind- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Aries- Yayo- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Taurus- Architecture/Best American Record- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Gemini- Brite Lites- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Cancer- Wait For Life- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Leo- National Anthem- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Virgo- Sinful- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Capricorn-Moon Libra- Ridin’- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Scorpio- Money Power Glory- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Sagittarius- Jump- Lana Del Rey

Sun Capricorn-Moon Capricorn- Oh No!- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Capricorn-Moon Aquarius- Are You Satisfied? - Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Capricorn-Moon Pisces- Swan Song- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aquarius-Moon Aries- When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aquarius-Moon Taurus- God Bless America And All The Beautiful Women In It- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aquarius-Moon Gemini- The Outsider- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aquarius-Moon Cancer- True Colors- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aquarius-Moon Leo- Lust for Life- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aquarius-Moon Virgo- Hypocrates- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aquarius-Moon Libra- I’m Not Hungry Anymore- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aquarius-Moon Scorpio- Rootless- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aquarius-Moon Sagittarius- Get Free- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aquarius-Moon Capricorn- Beautiful People, Beautiful Problems- Lana Del Rey

Sun Aquarius-Moon Aquarius- I’m Not A Robot- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Aquarius-Moon Pisces- Change- Lana Del Rey

Sun Pisces-Moon Aries- Is This Happiness- Lana Del Rey

Sun Pisces-Moon Taurus- Shampain- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Pisces-Moon Gemini- Valley Of The Dolls- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Pisces-Moon Cancer- Oh Say Can You See- Lana Del Rey

Sun Pisces-Moon Leo- Electra Heart- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Pisces-Moon Virgo- Buy The Stars- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Pisces-Moon Libra- Music To Watch Boys To- Lana Del Rey

Sun Pisces-Moon Scorpio- Mowgli’s Road- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Pisces-Moon Sagittarius- Heroin- Lana Del Rey

Sun Pisces-Moon Capricorn- Numb- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Pisces-Moon Aquarius- Immortal- Marina and the Diamonds

Sun Pisces-Moon Pisces- The State Of Dreaming- Marina and the Diamonds

#Sun #Moon #lana del rey #marina and the diamonds #Songs #Astrology #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces #Star sign #Horoscope

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flowerboysandramyun · 6 years

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“My boy, you always keep your eye on the president of the church and if he ever tells you to do anything, and it is wrong, and you do it, the Lord will bless you for it.”

I never discuss my personal life on here, certainly not my upbringing or anything in such detail, but having reached 600 followers, rather than share a few mundane facts about myself, each somehow related to kpop, I thought I’d give a little insight into what my life has been like outside of being just an anonymous, obsessive fangirl online (even if no one gives a damn haha).

To put it plainly, I grew up Mormon.

For those who don’t know, it’s a denomination of Christianity that’s based out of America, with added teachings and scripture from its founder, Joseph Smith. While it looks like a normal Christian faith on the outside, it’s one of many organized religions that may have some good intentions, but ultimately ends up severely damaging many of its members. For the extremist (or even just the rationalist), it can be called a cult. For the believer, it’s the indisputable truth.

The quote that I used to title this post is one of the sentiments that made me question the validity of the LDS’ truth claims. Throughout my upbringing, there was a strong, underlying theme regarding critical thinking and asking questions: DON’T. Just ‘obey’. Church leaders are thought to speak for God, so it’s an incredulous thought to disbelieve the words of church leaders. Going against what everyone believes to be the truth is, of course, often a decision that will get you berated, ostracized, and alienated.

One doesn’t simply stop going to church in the LDS faith. You don’t just become a casual church-goer either (or as devout members like to say, a ‘cafeteria Mormon’, picking what doctrine they want to follow, and what doctrine to discard). You’re either all in, or all out when it comes to Mormonism, which is why the term ‘leaving’ is applied to disconnecting yourself from the faith. You have to leave. You have to risk your friends and family. You have to choose to officially resign (removing your personal records/information) from the church entirely, and lose many people from your life along the way because they don’t accept you and your decision. Ultimately, there is nothing casual about Mormonism and the way that it affects your life, despite what many devout members might say.

For a little more background, the Mormon church believes in variety of things that no longer sit well with me. One of the most important things being the LGBTQ community. The church has expressed time and time again their sort of twisted ‘love the sinner, but not the sin’ mentality, which is really just a sugarcoated way of saying ‘be nice in public, but have shitty opinions and feelings toward those people on your own time’. Then, of course, there’s the history of the church—forced polygamy, a bloody massacre against non-believers in the time of the early church, racist beliefs and doctrine, messages that are damaging to sexuality, gender identity, and self-esteem (like the purity of virginity, or rigid gender roles). The founder himself had up to 40 wives, one of whom was 14. The temples built by Mormons (and only for Mormons) require special clothing and in-depth rituals that symbolize blind faithfulness to the church. Hell—Mormons can’t even drink coffee because… well. There really isn’t a good reason. That’s just there for ‘uniqueness points’.

Growing up, this twisted version of Christianity was my truth. It has been for generations. But as I entered college and (to ironically make this all more relevant to this blog) became interested in other cultures, namely Korea, I started to realize how small my worldview was. I met all kinds of people, in real life and online, who had never heard of my religion, who were living a life based on an entirely different set of beliefs and nuanced facets of culture. Even within the fandom, I saw how much of a dot on the map me and my experience was. And while it would be a nice wrap-up to say that that’s what ultimately caused me to abandon Mormonism, it was only one of many factors. But regardless, it’s something I’m insanely grateful for.

Anywho, to leave this all off on a positive note, I would just like to say that if you’re struggling with something in your life, something you’ve been raised with and always thought to be true but still have nagging doubts, you’re not alone. Even the random tumblr blog that you follow for cute pics of BTS has a weird-ass story to share, and empathy to give, so don’t ever feel like you have to bear something alone.

In the words of our boys, love myself, love yourself<3

#personal #bts #long post #super random and way too personal idk man #600 followers!!!!#<3 #exmo

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frederickwiddowson · 4 years

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The writings of Luke the physician starting with his version of the gospel - Luke 6:1-26 comments: Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God

Luke 6:1 ¶ And it came to pass on the second sabbath after the first, that he went through the corn fields; and his disciples plucked the ears of corn, and did eat, rubbing them in their hands. 2 And certain of the Pharisees said unto them, Why do ye that which is not lawful to do on the sabbath days? 3 And Jesus answering them said, Have ye not read so much as this, what David did, when himself was an hungred, and they which were with him; 4 How he went into the house of God, and did take and eat the shewbread, and gave also to them that were with him; which it is not lawful to eat but for the priests alone? 5 And he said unto them, That the Son of man is Lord also of the sabbath. 6 And it came to pass also on another sabbath, that he entered into the synagogue and taught: and there was a man whose right hand was withered. 7 And the scribes and Pharisees watched him, whether he would heal on the sabbath day; that they might find an accusation against him. 8 But he knew their thoughts, and said to the man which had the withered hand, Rise up, and stand forth in the midst. And he arose and stood forth. 9 Then said Jesus unto them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it? 10 And looking round about upon them all, he said unto the man, Stretch forth thy hand. And he did so: and his hand was restored whole as the other. 11 And they were filled with madness; and communed one with another what they might do to Jesus.

Again, Jesus’ disciples are being criticized by the Pharisees for what the Pharisees consider to be disregarding the traditions of the Jews that had grown up around the Law. Jesus defends necessity against ritual observance of regulations. He refers to circumstances in 1Samuel 21.

Jesus forces the issue in the synagogue by healing a man and then does this to provoke the scribes and Pharisees who were present.

Luke 6:12 ¶ And it came to pass in those days, that he went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. 13 And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles; 14 Simon, (whom he also named Peter,) and Andrew his brother, James and John, Philip and Bartholomew, 15 Matthew and Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called Zelotes, 16 And Judas the brother of James, and Judas Iscariot, which also was the traitor. 17 And he came down with them, and stood in the plain, and the company of his disciples, and a great multitude of people out of all Judaea and Jerusalem, and from the sea coast of Tyre and Sidon, which came to hear him, and to be healed of their diseases; 18 And they that were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were healed. 19 And the whole multitude sought to touch him: for there went virtue out of him, and healed them all.

Modern evangelical scholars will say that this is just a variation of the giving of the Sermon on the Mount given in Matthew. But, they are wrong. Its emphasis is more social and political while the sermon in Matthew is more spiritual. Secondly, Jesus is standing in a plain here, not seated on a hillside. Third, he has all of His disciples here but does not have them all when He gives the sermon in Matthew. Fourth, the sermon in Matthew is given by Him seated in front of a few disciples not in front of the multitude of people as here. Jesus is poking at the social order here as well as calling His disciples to holiness and trust in God.

I suspect that historically scholars who have tried to make these two sermons the same wanted to uphold the social order that supported them and elevated them and the content of what comes next was probably disturbing taken on its own.

Luke 6:20 ¶ And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God. 21 Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh. 22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake. 23 Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets. 24 But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation. 25 Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep. 26 Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.

Jesus speaks to His disciples and in a land where many people were desperately poor and struggled to survive against disease and hunger every day. The fool says that happiness is the highest achievement of man or woman. Happiness is enjoying what one wants without being disturbed and one can be happy over many things that are like wisps of smoke dissolving in a breeze like ambition, pleasure, possessions, and other things of mankind’s fancy that can be taken away in a moment due to a bad circumstance or failing health.

The highest state of mankind is blessedness from God, a sense of closeness to our Creator and a love for Him. To be blessed by God is to have things bestowed on you that will count in eternity. Children that are led to receive Christ as their Saviour, joy in adversity, a satisfying prayer life speaking to God, and reading the Bible, God speaking to you, the relationships between loving family and dear friends, a good reputation, feeling that God’s hand is on your life rather then you thinking of yourself as your own god are all things that cannot be bought with money.

God holds in contempt the things that man lifts up as being of high value; wealth, power, education, obsessions with things sexual, privilege, and possessions. Later in Luke Jesus says;

Luke 16:15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.

This blessing on the poor, the hungry, and the sorrowful revolves around their devotion to Christ. It is not a blanket social statement for the poor in general as He is speaking to His disciples. The sermon here, as in Matthew, is a declaration of the constitution for the Kingdom of God. It is the ground rules.

Most followers of Christ were poor in the beginnings of the Christian religion and the wealthy elite persecuted them. The Bible, God’s word, contains here a declaration of independence from the rich and powerful who oppressed them. Their blessedness, their happiness, if you will, comes from God Himself not from circumstances or from the pity or kindness of a member of the power elite.

In the earlier sermon, giving on a hillside and reported in Matthew, Jesus says;

Matthew 5:3 ¶ Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The poor in spirit is the condition of a person’s whole demeanor as no person will truly come to Christ until they realize they are spiritually bankrupt and hopeless without Him.

For the verse in Matthew there are several important verses from the Old Testament to consider.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Isaiah 57:15 For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Isaiah 66:2 For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

Here in Luke, though, there is a context of the status of the disciples of Christ as poor, hungry, sorrowful, and hated for His name’s sake but they are blessed by God for these very reasons. This is hard for us in the modern world as wealth is worshipped and in the 19th century in America the most popular sermon was entitled Acres of Diamonds which uplifted the wealthy as the best of people. The author of the sermon, Russel H. Conwell, founder of Temple University, insisted that it was your duty to get rich.

But, the Bible says;

Proverbs 23:4 Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom.

Those who have wealth are warned not to trust in it as it cannot save them.

Psalm 49:6 ¶ They that trust in their wealth, and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches; 7 None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him: 8 (For the redemption of their soul is precious, and it ceaseth for ever:) 9 That he should still live for ever, and not see corruption.

Paul told Timothy to warn Christians;

1Timothy 6:6 ¶ But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and

pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 11 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. 12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.

13 ¶ I give thee charge in the sight of God, who quickeneth all things, and before Christ Jesus, who before Pontius Pilate witnessed a good confession; 14 That thou keep this commandment without spot, unrebukeable, until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ: 15 Which in his times he shall shew, who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords; 16 Who only hath immortality, dwelling in the light which no man can approach unto; whom no man hath seen, nor can see: to whom be honour and power everlasting. Amen. 17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; 18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate; 19 Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

And Paul, a tentmaker as per Acts 18:3, gave the ideal for Christian employment;

1Thessalonians 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;12 That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

James warned Christians to have the proper attitude toward status and wealth.

James 2:1 ¶ My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. 2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; 3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: 4 Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are

become judges of evil thoughts? 5 Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him? 6 But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats? 7 Do not they blaspheme that worthy name by the which ye are called?

We have laws in this country today that protect us from many, but not all, of the abuses of the past that the rich and powerful imposed upon their lessers but we must always remember that our safety and protection can ultimately only come from God.

Verse 26 is a warning that being celebrated and approved by the powerful, asked to be on their TV shows, sponsored on their stages, etc. is not necessarily a sign of God’s approval. As Ruckman said, the media won’t celebrate a preacher they can’t use and so it goes with power in general.

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dcadlynv-blog · 7 years

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“Kids these days,” her mom used to say, before her family cut ties with her, when she was a sad, sullen teenage girl curled around the bluish glow of her computer screen. “All their friends are online.”

Isadora would just smile. Yep. Oh yeah, like a fuckload of friends, momma.

The truth: her computer was her best friend. However weird she was IRL, she was a badass on her laptop, staving off her loneliness by messing around online with websites. Two or three times a year, she would rebuild her perfect persona via blog posts--a trend-devouring monster months in the making, constructed out of aesthetic photographs and clothing that cost more than she made in tips waitressing at papa’s restaurant in a full year. She cobbled together her OOTDs in a cracked copy of Photoshop, posting her dream doodles online with the naive longing of a little girl.

The bulk of Isadora’s teenagedom was passed in solitude, wondering if the fake girl who wore the summer’s favorite YSL lipstick and drank skinny lattes spiked with vanilla vodka would have more friends than the empty little nothing parked on the couch. Or if the spiky punk-rock chick, in her sharp-edged bob haircut and leather jacket, would crush the kids who turned away from her at school under the heel of a Doc Martin. Or if the artsy coffee-stained hipster girl would just toss her stick-straight black hair over her flanneled shoulders and shrug. She thumbed the spacebar, wondering if any of those girls would fall asleep at the keyboard feeling whole.

Her obligatory degree, which she completed in good time like a good little sheep, is in computer science. She’s a software engineer, emphasis papa’s. He is very proud. Columbia is not a joke, everyone. She paid for it with a few whale-sized loans and a lot of scholarship money, and graduated as quick as fucking possible. She moved to New York City, picking up an internship and then a full-on job at a #ontrend app development company, turning out the latest in flat color must-haves for the season.

Papa, bless him, used to mention her modest success at any and every family gathering. From humble beginnings, Isadora. Do you have X app on your phone? No? You should get it, it’s very popular. Isadora is lead developer on it. Isadora, who got good grades, who got into a good school, who worked the bar all through school, who snagged the internship, who did everything right.

Oh? The family said, smiling, with the patience of the unimpressed. Her cousin Leo-great grades, great school, great everything--is a doctor. He’s helping people in the really raw parts of the world, all the stuff that makes the news. He’s doing God’s work down there. Bless him. What is it that Isadora does, again? But even if Leo was a schmuck, something weird that she’s always noticed about her family is that she makes even them a little uncomfortable. Her own blood.

And Isadora’s parents are aggressively normal. They own a Mexican restaurant and bar, where Isadora waitressed on and off through college, passing out platters of cheese enchiladas to the children of white suburban Long Island families and margaritas to drunk commuters on their way home. Sometimes she’d see it in people’s eyes--is this how you do it? Is this “authentic”? How am I going to fit in here? Should I even try? Is it worth it?

Weird how she saw that in her father, too, living in the US. Is this how you do it? Is this how you fit in here, out in America? Momma was Lebanese, not Latina, though because she looked vaguely “ethnic” people always tried talking Spanish at her. Isadora’s pretty certain that contributed the most to the uncomfortable gulf between her immediate family and her dad’s extended--not a wide gap, but, y’know, you still had to be aware of it.

But Isadora never felt close to them, nor her mother’s family, though they got a pass for the distance--they were somewhere else in the world entirely. Everyone else? Isadora believes she’s justified in saying she might as well have been on another planet.. She never had regular friends. She never had anything except her parents, for the most part--and then, when she joined the Sinners, not even that.

Wait--that’s not quite true. There was Luke.

The really shitty thing is, Isadora realizes now, is that the app industry really is fucking disgusting. It’s frivolous. Nothing taught Isadora the secrets of human nature like the relentless copying of the competition, that the dark heart of pop culture was to chase trends fast enough so that the it looked like the idea everyone had was actually yours. They used the users to generate crazy money. Most people, Isadora learned, have the same secret flaws, easily exploitable for profit. Driving the user base was more important than building the product.

In fact, you wanted to start with the flaw first, and build the product around that. And if you couldn’t find the appropriate flaw? You created it.

So now, of course, looking back--Isadora has to wonder what flaw was created in her. What made her feel so lonely and strange and weird that she thought the perfect life was something you could buy and put on like a dress.

Isadora used to have a fantasy, in high school and college. In the interest of full disclosure, this was pre-Church, pre-Deadly, pre-Envy, pre-everything that prompted that. Isadora’s last idle fantasy world was particularly pathetic. Even though she was learning to love the taste of making other people nervous, at the New York office where no one knew what to do with her and her “concept” outfits, sometimes she entertained little notions, little scenes. Someone would approach her. This vague shadow person would be unafraid. They would smile at her, maybe quirk an eyebrow at her bag or her killer heels. They’d say something catty but comebackable. Why not? She’d drop that comeback. They’d laugh, meet-cute style, and just like that--a lover. A friend. At least one person who wanted to talk to her. Something.

A bare two months into her employment at the app start-up, they did a big money party to impress the investors. Isadora was at the bar, in a red and white dress meant to invoke the Queen of Hearts--for LookingGlass, their latest project, might as well show solidarity, right, even if the app was maddeningly shitastic--when she asked the sleek young suit to hold her whiskey for her while she reapplied her lipstick.

Isadora doesn’t remember anything about the conversation immediately following. She first knew him as Mr. Caplan, from Caplan & Cross Investing Group. He’d just started appearing after that moment, at her elbow, all night, making sly observations over a vodka soda with the material she supplied to him. She remembers thinking to herself, once or twice that night, he’s little more interesting than the other copies. I like him a little better than the other men who are just like him. He pinned her, accurately, as the primary architect of LookingGlass’ code--which meant, he’d taken the time to compare her with her LinkedIn profile and decide that she wasn’t the marketing rep that everyone mistook her for.

For that show of courtesy, she invited him to an afterparty, an exclusive thing she was saving for herself later that evening as a special treat, a reward for playing so nice here. See what else he’d trot out to impress her. In the taxi, he asked her to call him Luke. She told him, sure; his request was in the queue. He laughed, looked down at his hands.

Later, week nine of their relationship, he confessed to her that he’d been drifting in her direction all night that night, staying nearby in case she happened to glance his way, in case divine providence gave him an opportunity. Isadora’s brow furrowed. Her lightning-quick brain stalled, rebooted. She reassembled the world according to this information.

“God,” he said. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t even see me.”

Isadora feels like she keeps sliding through different versions of herself, tossing the failures to the back of her closet with last season’s mishaps, looking for the winner. She doesn’t know when exactly she started living as her fantasies instead of through them, but she has a guess.

Day one in New York City, it was like this: she looked in the mirror and said, no, this isn’t what I want to look like. She looked at her calendar and said, no, this isn’t what I want to do. Isadora made tentative steps, then bolder ones. When someone held up a Team Sinner QR code for her to scan for more info, she’d already reshaped the skeleton of her worldview. The Church of Sinners was the muscle. Becoming Envy was the first beat of her brand new heart. She feels more alive than she ever did before.

Of course, it could always been improved.

Isadora’s secret weapon has always been her obsessive drive, her power, her ability to ford through onerous details and mental hardship to her goal. She dislikes sleeping now. Shit ticking up on a counter. That’s her jam. Her salary was never amazing, she never once broke seven figures, but she didn’t allow a paltry lack of funds stop her. Isadora swaps and deals; she makes “connections” with designers; she curates a public Insta stocked with her greatest hits, one she’s had from before her days as Envy. People give her things now that they know who she is. Envy has appeared publicly. She’s actually walked red carpets. She saw on Facebook the other day, two girls who wouldn’t even look at her in high school now remember her fondly as friends.

Dangerous are those who dream in the day, right?

Joining the Church of Sinners put something in Isadora--or awakened something in her-- that she could have never had anywhere else. Maybe without religion, she would have turned into a bitter, lame little sweatpants Redditor with a grudge and a vaguely male sounding username. Maybe without the Sinners, without her frickin’ savior the real damn Devil, she would have marinated in her loneliness, in her regret, in her failure to find a self that makes her happy.

Instead: she is does whatever she wants, because she wants to.

Instead: nothing is without meaning. Everything is progress.

Instead: the only thing worth hating about yourself is the past you. It is ironic that the thing that Isadora levers the most in her proselytizing is the dread that people feel, drifting awkwardly through the world, the ugly regret that she herself no longer truly feels. Her only ache is one of desire. She doesn’t want to go back and change anything; she wants to go forward.

The advent of the Horsemen has only purified Isadora’s faith. The fact that the Apocalypse is drawing nigh actually changes nothing. Why give up? Why abandon oneself to nihilism? Are you afraid? Really? Why? Now might be the last chance you ever get, bitches. Seize the motherfucking day.

Isadora is a fanatic. She has always lived in a world of angels and demons, beings that were hundreds, if not thousands, of times more impressive and deadly than herself--so what’s the difference between them and the Horsemen to a puny mortal? Emulate them, fight them, love them. Live how you want to live. This is her religion.

Isadora reviews her Biblical history sometimes, to construct her sermons; she pesters Raziel and Renee for the deets. She composes her arguments with the same brutal elegance as her code. One sheep is useless; you gotta have numbers. You have to see that count tick up. Even more than that, you have to see that the numbers are useless unless you control them, how they think and the ways they think it. You have to have a good hold on the flaw you’re using as your lever. Isadora thinks, damn, Old Testament God may have been onto something.

The flaw created in people is fear. Did you know that? That’s what you use if you really want to make them believe.

#about isadora

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cherry-interlude · 3 years

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Lana Del Rey Album Songs Ranking (Remade)

It’s been a few years since I ranked all of Lana’s (album) songs so I wanted to do it again. This is all my OPINION, which I’m sure some people might disagree with, but you don’t have to agree with it. This is also a very long post.

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood

This cover song is just a little too drab and uninteresting to me, and I never listen to it. After the brilliant, sprawling, sexy, heart-breaking tracks on Honeymoon, this feels like a tacked-on track just to plump up the album. It feels simply like a cover.

For Free

Though this is a well-made song, with three brilliant women owning the track, it again just feels like a cover. It fits in well with Chemtrails, but by the time I get to this song I’ve had my fill.

Breaking Up Slowly

It just feels repetitive and simple, something only to have on in the background while my attention is diverted. It’s a good song and a nice attempt at bringing Lana’s country music in, but it does little to keep me interested.

God Knows I Tried

This song is filler. Jammed between the jazzy softness of Terrence Loves You and the pop favourite High By The Beach, this track just feels like it was sort of shoved in. It doesn’t even feel completely right on Honeymoon, instead a throwaway song that bridges Ultraviolence and Honeymoon whilst not fitting in with either album.

Though perfect for the credits of a Hollywood movie, 24 has plenty of flair but nothing of substance. The lyrics aren’t as imaginative as most of Lana’s music and I’m not surprised this song found itself near the end of the album.

Lucky Ones

Personally, this song irritates me. It's sickly in its lyrics, sugary in the romance and classic Lana tropes of dangerous men and Lana starstruck by them no matter if they’re ‘careless cons and crazy liars’. The little flair of the verses and the overtly sweet chorus really irks me, especially following the brilliance that is Lana’s first ‘Del Rey’ album.

Coachella

It is a rushed track, sounding completely unfinished and hurried with an unconvincing track beat. Polished, it would be brilliant – but it sounds like Lana thought of the song (which sounds promising in the video where she sits in the forest and sings) and had to force it to ‘fit in’ with the trap-pop tracks on Lust For Life. The lyrics are thoughtful, if not cliché, but it could have been done better.

This Is What Makes Us Girls

It just doesn’t appeal to me. Maybe because I can’t connect to the lyrics in any way, I just don’t feel anything when I hear this song and choose to skip it. That being said, the demos are pretty fun.

God Bless America

As much as it’s a song honouring women during a period of time when feminism was being shaken, it doesn’t quite feel like Lana’s heart is in it. The patriotism is uneasy considering she was removing herself from the American flag and its associations, and the anthemic feel never lifts. It’s a sweet song, but never goes deeper than surface level.

Religion

Though fairly sexy and haunting – her unshaken faith to her man, her drawling voice – this delicate track is too simple and sombre for me to get completely into it. I always want to skip and get to my favourites.

In My Feelings

It’s great Lana has a bad-girl, bad-bitch, fuck-you pop track but this, like Coachella, feels unfinished. It has the vibe of work in progress, and the vocals are still messy (surely intentionally, though it doesn’t always come across that way) as well as trying slightly too hard. It doesn’t compare to Fucked My Way Up To The Top.

Beautiful People Beautiful Problems

The verses don’t match up to the choruses and I feel nothing – not empowered or emotional – when listening to this song, but it is a beautiful duet between Lana and Stevie. Their voices really are divine together and though I don’t listen to this song much, the demos are even better.

Change

Mostly because it freaks me out, this is a song I don’t often listen to. With a basic structure yet long, meandering lyrics, Lana broods over the state of America at the time, which can make for depressive listening. Though it’s a pretty enough song, it’s seriousness is too much to bear sometimes.

Blue Velvet

Sometimes too slow, Blue Velvet doesn’t inspire multiple listens in me, but it is a gorgeous cover and absolutely a showcase of Lana’s vocals.

Diet Mountain Dew

A cheeky little track that won many over, it still is hard for me to fully get into it. However, it ages like fine wine and is a wonderful step into the Lizzy Grant unreleased tracks (especially with the many, sometimes even better demos).

Burning Desire

It’s a messy song, with Lana’s vocals shaky and the instrumental not quite up to scratch, but this song is certainly a guilty pleasure and great for getting into the sexy mood. The car metaphors are a bit much, especially considering it’s for a car advert, but if you get past that it’s a song to add to your freaky playlist.

Money Power Glory

As powerful and dark as this song is, with incredible instrumentals and Lana at her most dynamic, I barely remember the lyrics of the verses, instead waiting for the rich choruses.

Swan Song

A gentle track that has a lot of untapped power behind it, this is a quiet stormer of a song that has a lot of heart and grace. It may be a filler track, but it is definitely better than some.

Bartender

Even more gentle is the confessional, piano-led Bartender, which is a sweet little love song stripped back much like Lana’s simple romance where she sneaks out to see her lover. The main (and probably ridiculous) thing that keeps me from falling in love with this song more – though I’m already pretty amazed by it – is the very quiet sound of feedback that comes and goes, a fuzzy noise that is very subtle but distracting enough for me.

The Next Best American Record

This song would be higher if it was Architecture – the gorgeous, well-thought stunner that wowed us all when it was leaked. The lyrics are less fractured relationship and more wishy washy, wiping away the gritty sadness that made Architecture so beloved (at least to me). Now it’s been made ‘happier’, it’s hard to tell what the song is – is Lana happy with her lover or is she sad like in the unreleased version? Is this a break up song or a celebration of the romance? What does it mean now that it is both of them that are obsessed with writing? It’s something for me to certainly explore more, but it is paled in comparison to the original.

When The World Was At War

This track grew on me, with the hidden lyrics, fun vocals and hopeful message. Lana knows how to make a song that lifts your mood and this is certainly one of them.

Guns and Roses

I used to despise this song – finding it boring and dull. However, after giving it a listen years later, it is in fact a beautiful song with a gritty feel that is perfect for Ultraviolence. It fits in perfectly with the album and the extended tracks, and though it isn’t the strongest lyrically, the vocals and dreamy feel is thrilling.

Lolita

I choose to listen to this song without the underage character – or romantic connotations of her – in mind, instead seeing this song as a grown woman trying to charm an older man. However, as I have grown older – and read (and loved) the book several times more – I feel more inclined to distance myself from this song. It’s a fun, perky pop track but it definitely feels dated.

Dance Till We Die

Lana sings of her connection to other famous female singers and her daughter’s chosen name, making this a very personal pop song that also reminds of When The World Was At War for its hopeful and ultimately positive edge. It is a little slow but incredible touching, and the bridge is so kickass you can’t help but dance along.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

This is a very sweet little song that again showcases the more positive side of Lana’s music, rather than the heartbroken and distressed women she tends to play. Though it is a filler song it’s a very pretty one and so catchy.

Wild At Heart

Wild At Heart is similar to Not All Who Wander Are Lost in that it’s a departure from a tragic femme fatale, instead a love song that also mimics Swan Song in that she considers leaving fame for her lover. What makes it even better is how Lana samples How To Disappear, a much sadder track, and twists it into something happy with this ultimately more upbeat album.

Radio

Like Diet Mountain Dew, Radio is another perky tune that is more than just a catchy filler. It’s a little bit sassy and has an edge to it (with the expletives and how her life is sweet not like sugar but cinnamon) that keeps it from being too frothy. Speaking of Lana’s newfound fame, it’s a nice break from the love ballads and tragedies peppered throughout Born To Die.

Without You

Shockingly dramatic, Without You is the ultimate symbol of Lana’s older music – a woman who could only feel happy unless her man was in her life. She has definitely moved on for the most part from wailing her demise at losing her lover but Without You is still glamorous, catchy and perfect to singalong to.

The Other Woman

This is one of Lana’s best covers – Nina Simone’s song about being the other woman and how it is in fact lonely and heart-breaking. Lana makes the song her own, her vocals stunning and lo-fi with instrumentals that are perfect for Ultraviolence.

How To Disappear

I feel that the live version of How To Disappear, where she sung it on stage before it was released with its real instrumental, is the superior version. It’s stripped back and tender enough to feel the emotion thoroughly, but the album version doesn’t disappoint. It’s one of many great tracks from (what I think is) her best album, and has a great story within it.

Fucked My Way Up To The Top

Lana’s satirical, sexy and stirring Fucked My Way Up To The Top was just tongue-in-cheek enough to keep from being too much of a cliché. Perhaps based on her real experiences but definitely a fuck-you to anyone who critiques her for owning her sexuality, it’s a little bit controversial but an incredible song.

Tomorrow Never Came

This song, which is a gorgeous duet with Sean Ono Lennon and a nice nod to 20th century music, subverts expectations that it is a sad song by in fact including a happy ending. I love how it can make you cry with both sadness and happiness, and tells a sweet story that paints pictures of parks and country houses.

Yosemite

The long-awaited Yosemite didn’t disappoint, and though it took a while to grow on me it became a classic and somehow familiar track. It’s impossible to not sing or dance to it and wouldn’t be out of place in Lust For Life.

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing

It’s quite slow – the Change/24/Old Money of Norman Fucking Rockwell – but it is clearly a personal and well-thought song that references Lana’s great inspiration Sylvia Plath. Lana’s deft at getting her thoughts out in song and I think though it’s not a song I often listen to, it is beautiful.

Honeymoon

The sweeping violins, dramatic vocals and the dangerous undercurrent makes Honeymoon crackle with electricity. It’s an amazing introduction to an album that once again has dangerous men, bad girls who get hurt but are strong again and amazing instrumentals. Though it’s not the best song from the album, it sets the tone perfectly.

Million Dollar Man

Like Without You, it’s another song of complete devastation, which Lana has grown from in her music. Million Dollar Man shows some great vocals and lyrics, and gets the emotion out perfectly whilst honouring the music that inspired her.

Old Money

The verses are pretty enough but they don’t catch my attention the way the choruses do. The slow, steady song took a long time for me to really appreciate but it’s impossible not to feel some kind of emotion when Lana lets her lover know she will be with them whenever they need her.

Sad Girl

Like The Other Woman, Sad Girl shows how being the other woman has it’s downfalls but appreciates the sexy, exciting side of it – how alluring her man is and how much of a bad bitch she may be. Once again, it’s a pure Ultraviolence song that shows Lana’s vocals and music in the best way whilst showcasing the classic caricature of the femme fatale.

Dark Paradise

Strangely upbeat for such a sad song, Dark Paradise is great to dance to but also something that makes you want to cry. Lana’s vocalisations and dramatic lyrics don’t quite compare to some of her other songs but Dark Paradise is iconic.

Summertime Sadness

The slow-burn, emotional gut punch that is Summertime Sadness is always a classic and one of Lana’s best. Though it is far from my personal favourite it is absolutely an outstanding song and the perfect example of Lana’s most well-made and well-delivered songs.

Gods and Monsters

The strained Gods and Monsters is a great tale about the evil side of fame, which Lana never quite delves too deeply into but gives a metaphorical and mildly personal nod to. Gods and Monsters is one of those songs that has you singing along and feeling strong.

Carmen

Carmen is a beautiful, sad story that feels rich and luxurious despite its harrowing lyrics of an alcoholic star. The French bridge adds to the decadence and it feels like a dirty alcohol bottle wrapped in silk, from the tentative verses to the unnerving chorus.

Born To Die

One of Lana’s original pop chart tracks, this is a song that never grows old. It’s one of the blueprints of the Lana Del Rey era and deftly shows her vocals whilst setting the tone for the pessimistic, romantic star in the early 2010s.

Salvatore

Opening with laughing – or crying – Salvatore has an eerie feel to it, though it is completely erotic in feel (enough to ignore some of the simpler lyrics). It is a song that feels dreamy, much like the rest of Honeymoon, but passionate and reminding of some of her older music (from the vocals in the bridge that have a Lolita/Fucked My Way Up To The Top feel to them to the continued trope of bad boys and glamour).

Flipside

Dirty, gritty and quite contained, Flipside is a song that I wished had more attention. It’s not her most imaginative song but there’s something about it, from the gloomy guitars to the hushed vocals, that have me wanting to sing it over and over. It also is one of her great fuck-off songs, as sympathetic as it is resilient.

Doin’ Time

Lana really turns this song into her own with the summery instrumentals and the pop edge she is so good at. It’s surprisingly one of her best covers and a fresh-feeling track that isn’t bogged down by emotion or maudlin music.

Lust For Life

Breathless and oh-so-romantic, Lust For Life is one of those songs that was perfect for the charts, and a key piece in Lana’s turn into becoming more positive. However, as fun and lovely as this song is, the demos are a whole other ball game. A little more ethereal, they fit Lana much more perfectly and it’s sad she dismissed the witchy feel for a song that is brilliant but generic.

Love

One of Lana’s warmest and most refreshing songs, she looks at love with fondness and dedicates this track to her ‘kids’. She knows her fans well and to make a song that references them (much like Happiness Is A Butterfly’s nod to her ‘babies’) makes this song all the more pleasant.

The Greatest

Lana’s vocals are put to good use in this intimately-written song. She speaks her mind in her reminiscence of the past and the worries for the future, all with a storming chorus that is certainly one of her best.

Love Song

Tender and almost tentative, Love Song is one of those tracks that is romantic through-and-through. It’s stripped back enough to feel like it really is a private song for only her lover’s ears, just as confessional as Cinnamon Girl and Bartender.

White Mustang

Short but sweet, this song has all the makings of a Lana Del Rey song, harking back to the Born To Die days with her imagery and fallen love affair, but it is spiky enough to be part of her later music where she starts giving less shits. The whistling and race cars are a nice touch, displaying her play on words snugly.

Dark But Just A Game

Sort of jazzy, Dark But Just A Game is ever-shifting and never quite settles on a particular sound. It’s cohesive, however, and clearly states what Lana is thinking in a way that works with the rest of Chemtrails. It’s pretty sexy as well, which doesn’t hurt the enjoyability factor.

High By The Beach

The wooziness, the carelessness and the growth from a woman begging to be put in a movie to a woman who is able to do as she pleases. Lana stumbles and swears through the song but knows exactly what she wants – and it isn’t disappointing men or stalking paparazzi.

Let Me Love You Like A Woman

Some may think it much slower and more boring than a lot of her tracks, but I think it’s a tidy, sweet track. Lana plainly states her love, urges her man to run away with her and lets her emotions (and voice) do the talking.

Summer Bummer

Lana is as restless as a hot summer in this song and it works. Her brisk-paced yet soft-voiced lyrics and gorgeous imagery gets my pulse racing, and ASAP Rocky’s verse works well for it. Though it would have been interesting to get a full, solo Summer Bummer, Rocky adds an edge to this song and compliments his ‘lover’ well.

Groupie Love

Much more flowery and wide-eyed, Groupie Love is like a contradiction. Lana’s passionate dalliance with Rocky’s god-like star opposes the relationship in Summer Bummer (uncertain) but both are just as secret. Groupie Love has the edge of being ultra-dreamy and demonstrating pure love – and lust – without the messiness.

American

It’s a filler track that has potential for much more. It’s an adorable song, almost cautious in its lead-up to the satisfying chorus, and is filled with Lana tropes galore. Following Lana’s stressed Ride and coming before the darkly sensual Cola, American is a breath of fresh air.

National Anthem

What an anthem it is. It’s simply provocative and one of her most classic tracks. Mixing love, money and fame together with a bit of sex thrown in, National Anthem is precisely what Lana’s America seems to be.

Is This Happiness?

It’s muted, mournful and resentful, questioning a relationship that Lana wants to keep but at the same time doesn’t. This is one of Lana’s best sad songs, tearful as it is still adoring beneath the exasperation.

Art Deco

Art Deco is purely dreamy, a song to bathe in. The lyrics are a little bit simple but Lana’s vocals and the flowing, aquatic music is the perfect hook.

Terrence Loves You

Lana’s jazzy song is delicate, letting only her voice and the saxophone dominate. With references to David Bowie, Lana pines for someone who hurt her badly, but she soothes herself with music the way plenty of her fans do when listening to her records.

White Dress

The vocals were a surprise at first – high, strained whispers – but they definitely grew on me. Painting a picture of young Lana loving life and dreaming of bigger things, it’s nostalgic in lyrics but also reminds of some of Lana’s old work – her unreleased tracks where she would serve coke and fries.

Chemtrails

It gets better as it goes on, growing and twisting from a song to sunbathe to into a restless, darkening track. It has the best vibe for an idealised world with something a bit off, and the imagery of pools, jewels and schools grounds Lana into a (very, very rich) normality rather than the glamorous star she always liked to portray.

13 Beaches

Opening with a quote from Carnival of Souls, Lana takes High By The Beach to the next level. She goes from sticking her middle finger up to the paparazzi to simply wishing she would be allowed to live her life without them hounding her. It’s a matured approach that uses sound interestingly, with beeps and whines adding a strange texture to the song.

Cola

The controversial line was intended as humour, but strangely it works. Even if Cola is satire like Fucked My Way Up To The Top, Lana owns the ‘other woman’, the patriotic singer, the sexy and unashamed woman who says what she thinks without caring of the consequences. It’s an iconic song, even if you have to turn the volume down to not offend.

Black Beauty

The unreleased version is ten times more emotive, with its stripped back and lonesome feel, but the album version is just as good. The ultimately loving but unhappy lyrics are full of stunning imagery, and this is a song that would have been perfect with a music video.

Body Electric

Blasphemous as much as it honours icons, Lana sinfully owns Body Electric. The bridge is a bit out of place but Lana’s eyebrow-raising approach to religion and sexuality is genius.

Off To The Races

The best demonstration of Lana’s vocals, Lana plays the glam girl without a care just as well as the Lolita-type, needy lover in this ode to money and her man. The soaring bridge is stunning, and the swirling violins add an air of Hollywood to it.

Bel Air

Completely overlooked (in my opinion), Bel Air is an apologetic song of redemption, a shining and honest track that is as touching as much as it is hazy and tranquil. With soft piano and the sound of children opening and closing the song respectively, it’s set apart from Paradise with a pureness that Lana pulls off well.

Ultraviolence

Controversial at the time and still controversial now, Ultraviolence is about being weak, about giving in to love no matter how toxic. I don’t entirely support the lyrics but it’s a stunning song, lo-fi enough to feel uneasy and haunting. When you shut off from the lyrics, you get a simply beautiful track.

Pretty When You Cry

Lana’s imperfect, close-to-tears vocals are wonderful in this song, and she really lets her emotion shine through. The pained guitar and Lana’s increasingly distressed singing are enough to get you feeling exactly as she does.

Florida Kilos

Fun. Fresh. Freeing. Lana’s ode to drugs is simply something to dance to and sing, and she somehow manages to get the sunny feeling across even with the Ulraviolence-esque grunginess. It’s one of my favourite songs of Lana’s because it’s just so happy, which is a nice departure from some of her heavier tracks.

Cherry

Many people’s favourite – Cherry. It was my favourite of Lana’s for a long time, dripping with sex appeal and sadness but with a cute dance to compliment it. It had all the right stuff wrapped up in a tidy, compact box and the imagery is lush. I still love this song but since then we’ve had the ‘Cherries’ of her next few albums, Cinnamon Girl and Tulsa Jesus Freak. Like these, Cherry was a song that seemed set apart from the rest of the album and was a novel take on her typical music.

California

Simply for It's meaningful, raw lyrics – promising to be there as soon as he wants her, much like in Old Money – California is a sun-soaked dream with a very honest approach. Lana isn’t completely devastated, or begging for her lover to return. She is sad but realistic, and only wants the best for him. It’s beautiful and sad with a crazily addictive chorus.

West Coast

The shift from fast-paced, grungey, whispered verses to sprawling, drawling choruses – complete with weirdly sexy beeps towards the end of the song – shook us all, and it’s one of Lana’s most interesting songs. Lana honours the West Coast but also her man, in love with the music scene as much as she is with him.

Shades of Cool

The snide verses. The gradually growing music. The guitars. The explosive chorus. The nuclear bridge. The absolutely perfect timing and pacing. Shades of Cool is flawless, another Sad Girl but with much more power, emotion and music.

The Blackest Day

The Blackest Day needs more attention. Cold in places, almost lost, but then wounded in the chorus, The Blackest Day rolls with the emotions and is the kind of song that makes you want to fall apart and sob. Which is good, in a way, as it shows how brilliantly Lana conveys emotion.

Freak

Cult-like and haunting, this is the sexy predecessor of California. Lana swoons and tempts in this track, from her harmonising to her pouting “take it to the back if you really wanna talk” - not to mention the rest of the song in its entirely, all elements married together to create the perfect seductive track.

Music To Watch Boys To

Like Art Deco, Music To Watch Boys To is fairly aquatic and dreamy. Like Freak, it has that cult vibe (the chanting of the bridge). However, this song is perfectly its own, from the mix-up of vocal styles to the shifting tone (sad to smug to obsessively in love).

Norman Fucking Rockwell

What an opener. Norman Fucking Rockwell lets the actual singing and lyrics do the talking, the instrumentals pushed back enough to let Lana’s gut-punching first line (“God damn, man child, you fucked me so good that I almost said I love you”) and her blue yet annoyed insults to her Norman Rockwell do the talking.

Mariner’s Apartment Complex

It’s a song for yourself and for the people you love. Lana is strong enough to take care of herself, to be her own guidance – and to take on her lover’s problems too. It’s an empowering song, so distant from a lot of her discography, and I adore the nautical references and the hopeful message.

Brooklyn Baby

Satire again, but it still works. Lana plays a (fairly cringey) and somewhat self-absorbed, over-confident singer who is too cool for her own boyfriend, but she does it well. From saying how she wished people didn’t judge her, to the freedom the seventies gives her, to the warm guitars and upbeat tone, to the backup vocals of Seth Kaufman, Brooklyn Baby is a song to remember for all the right reasons.

Ride

Ride is one of Lana’s best, if not the best. With her devotion to America and her open thoughts about needing other people to make her feel good and happy, Lana knocks it out of the park with the superb step up from Born To Die.

Video Games

Video Games is just beautiful, plain and simple. Lana’s low voice, telling a flowing story of the simplicities of true love, are removed from her ‘famous singer’ image she constantly tried to portray and instead open up to the heart of what she has always sung about: love and its many forms, good or bad.

Get Free

The new take on Ride was a pleasant surprise. From changing the lyrics to show she wants to move on and be happy to (silently) name-dropping her influences, Lana’s manifesto was a personal song that we could all resonate with. The outro of the beach was the perfect closer to Lust For Life, and Get Free summarised the album which took her from sad girl to someone who could let herself move on.

Heroin

Heroin is no doubt one of her best. It’s tense and dark, referencing Manson and (allegedly) a friend she lost years ago. Lana lets herself dive into her worst thoughts headfirst, not so much dreamy as it is nightmarish, but still comes out the other side dreaming of marzipan and ready to move on.

Tulsa Jesus Freak

The third of the ‘Cherries’, Tulsa Jesus Freak goes straight to a happy place. Where Cherry was angry and Cinnamon Girl was cautious, this track dives into being comfortable with her man. It was just as passionate as the other two songs but about religion, sex and self-satisfaction.

Blue Jeans

Plucking guitars, crying violins and Lana weaving a tale about a gangsta who left her, without explanation, and the hurt that follows. Similarly tied to Dark Paradise, Blue Jeans is the next level of that, her tough-girl spoken verses dismissed as the choruses open up and she pours her heart out.

Cruel World

Lana is on top-form on this song, furious, maddened, sad, taunting – she hits every emotion with style. Lana grows more and more unstable as the song goes on, invoking images of a woman scorned and no longer taking that shit, but she still has a fragility about her as she comes undone that is tied directly to her Ultraviolence era.

Happiness Is A Butterfly

This song goes through many stages. She is unsure, not knowing how her lover feels. She is optimistic, elated as she tries to capture the butterfly. She is dismissive, no longer caring if she might get hurt – she loves too much. She is pissed off, sick of being treated badly. She gives in, simply wanting to dance and just be happy. The flow of this song is constant, a little messy, but it has the beautiful message pinned to it: to keep trying to be happy and do what you love.

Fuck It I Love You

I love the music video version more than the album version, the latter being more stripped back. Fuck It I Love You just gives in to emotion, acknowledging Lana is hurt, her lover is hurt, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him. She simply lets that feeling take over.

Cinnamon Girl

Cinnamon Girl touched me like no other Lana song has. Where Cherry was a mixture of emotions, good and bad, angry and loving, devastated and thrilled, Cinnamon Girl was about cautious optimism. Lana urges her lover to give in, and she knows – smiling as she sings it – she wins.

Venice Bitch

Venice Bitch just has that soothing, unhindered feel to it – and not just from the nine minutes of pure music and vibe. Lana dedicates this song to the kind of love that is just wholesome and homely, all whilst touching on her insanity, her ever-lasting love for America and the modern world (her live streams). It feels nostalgic yet contemporary, and adding the “fucks” and “bitch[es]” helps keep this song from being to sugary sweet but instead what it is – an honest love song rooted in the idealised and the realistic.

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imascientistofmusic · 7 years

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Im a huge fucking nerd

final LYRICS FOR ENDOLPHINS AND MC FOUCAULT EP Welcome to Kirby’s Memeland (MILLIPEDES FOR THE MOLEMEN) Got it so hot y'all give me standing ovations while I'm spamming the squat[1] like my whole family's Croatian if my dad's Jackie Chan[2] am I Hispanic or Asian? please understaånd this equation ()[3] me no panic just blazing at any random location i’m your romantic liaison killa Beys in formation[4] the doctor's[5] now handling patients I put the wots in tarnations[6] I put the spots on dalmatians I move the block with my cadence Now time just stops when i say shit But the beat goes on cause i made it Alex Strong[7] in the paint and Singing So Long[8] to fake friends We can roll out the Save ends[9] Y'all kittens tryin my patience I need to find an oasis Pass me that blunt and i'll face it Why y'all stuntin so basic? Im kinda something like LASIK[10] take your quirk and erase it[11] If there's something to say then I'm Malcolm Little and Dakin[12] Welcome to Kirbys Memeland[13] Im a giant herbing with green hands[14] Defiantly serving up steamed hams[15] Yo shuhei hold up i got remands[16] Misery[17] in the moment Missouri in the mornings[18] Mysteries in the motions Miss her seas in this ocean[19] (oh shit) ALL AT ONCE (HOW HARD JAMES HARDIN GOES WHEN HE GOES HARD IN THE PAINT) One day i’ll kill all the white men take back the land we’re missin[20] Im Diego's street art and they're banksy's vandalisms[21] Like the second coming of yeezus[22] and he's risen Built a religion for giant robots[23] called it animism[24] My flow is so fucking preposterous Patrol the land rarer than rhinoceroses[25] Get your heads out the sand yall lookin like ostriches Didn't kill the cat[26] but we checked it into hospice I know yr feeling that and baby one i got this My boys swing the bats like my last name was ausmus[27] Best rappers who aren't black you know i top the list prophets foretold my path (my birth) it was an (heavenly) auspice Imagine how hard james hardin[28] goes when he goes hard in the paint Well i go harder than that On my level you ain't I'm smart as The Bat[29] I'm like double your rank I just started to rap But the devil remains In the details im valued retail theyre resale[30] i'll continue my never ending quest to impress you[31] I’m obsessed with the things that pens do Allah bless this mess because i swear i intend to Decompress and recollect about fucked things that friends[32] do Parenthetically my memes are better than y’all’s Im aesthetically[33] hiding in vectors too small Interjecting my dreams while dissenting all leans[34] Exquisitely dining on minds here at the end of all things [35] We bout those movers and shakers We bustin loose of the matrix[36] I get my fruit at bodegas Im bound to move to NEW VEGAS[37] Matthew McConaughey (HARRY AND THE HUMAN CENTIPEDES) Another space time anomaly[38] An Interstellar[39] odyssey Alright alright alright Im Mathew McConaughey Im unfuckingstoppable the impossible possible The whole world's my hospital not a gd thing is inoperable[40] Credentials are laudable Essentially i got it all Took a look at the d And then called an audible[41] Obliterate any Obstacle Precipitate like waterfalls Instigate a kinder cause Evicerate a haunted ghoul[42] When i fucks with physics the laws get more lax my words carry weight like the world's biggest snorlax[43] Come at me son yr gonna need more VATS[44] carried this town[45] for So Long[46] im getting a sore back their love for me like a tree to the Lorax[47] My lyrics paint pictures so i call them a Rorschach[48] my bones are telling me bad weathers on the forecast a storm is rolling in this is the calm before that Past five centuries all of them regrettable[49] Just like entropy i am inevitable[50] I was meant to leave my head it was full Fundamentally i'm so far ahead of these fools Down five hennessy's trying just to deaden this pulse[51] Iron sentry's lining the edge of the mall[52] 100% dying to dismantle this wall[53] Johnny five empathy no disassemble this bot[54] Quintessentially im X at the head of this school[55] Intermittently you slept in my bed it was cool incidentally we had sex in the end of the pool Human centipede[56] that ass it was my edible[57] G.O.A.T. (NIETZSCHE DIDN’T KILL GOD, I DID) Like JD[58] I’m the GOAT[59] Billy[60] hashtag Swag[61]gert[62] Worlds most accurate fact checking rapper This is a game to me Chutes and ladders[63] Here's where the bangers[64] be girl you know i had ‘er My flow the yangtze[65] i spit venom black adders[66] Opposite of banksy[67] or some bullshit “all lives matter”[68] Fuck the president[69] that dude cant get any badder[70] Cooking up some poppy tea[71] mix it up like cake batter HEY DON'T LOOK AWAY DON'T LET IT GROW ON YOU IT'S NOT OK Engrave the following on my headstone: “They[72] died getting head stoned peepin Tombstone[73] While eatin a tombstone pizza[74]" I’ve gone full blown nietzsche[75] said hello to the abyss "it was good to meet ya"[76] Behind this mask's a terrifying creature[77] Who would gladly cook you up and eat ya Every track i’m on mc foucault's the feature Threat level dragon[78] when im hittin the road again Like shang tsun out here looking for some souls to bend[79] Other rappers words are last years memes im so over them Like neil in the 80s its the weight of the world im shoulderin'[80] Tho ive been there once couldnt tell you where denver starts and boulder ends[81] Rockin california fishes like them pennsylvania colder pens[82] I spit fire like dylon[83] and i left the studio smolderin Sitch is Dire like sylons you used to know as older friends[84] Minds expired with prions[85] when i take theirs skulls and open em Im entirely high on the spirit taking time up and folding it[86] unlike battery acid im so hella caustic[87] Such flattering assets with a tongue so toxic Made saturn's rings spin on a cosmic cross stitch My staggering spit it god agnostic[88] [1] “Why do Slavs squat?” is a satirical catchphrase associated with imageboards and forums discussing Eastern European people and cultures http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/why-do-slavs-squat-slav-squat [2] My dad and jackie chan are aging to look like the same person [3] I use medical marijuana to treat anxiety [4] Beyonce - Formation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDZJPJV__bQ [5] My initials are DRB and so many folks call me Doctor or Doctor B [6] “What in Tarnation?” is a rhetorical question meaning “what in damnation?”, which is often associated with Americans living in the Southern United States expressing incredulous bewilderment. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/what-in-tarnation [7] Drummer of Endolphins and one of the progenitors of this particular beat [8] So Long is my queerpop band SoLongNaota.Bandcamp.com [9] A saving throw in D&D http://dnd4.wikia.com/wiki/Saving_throw [10] Corrective laser eye surgery [11] Boku No Hero Academia character Shota Aizawa “eraser head” who’s special power is erasing others’ special powers http://bokunoheroacademia.wikia.com/wiki/Shota_Aizawa [12] Church of The Three Cats is at the corner of Malcolm X (born Malcolm Little) and Dakin in Lansing, Michigan [13] Gamboy title Kirby’s Dreamland but with memes [14] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Giant but with Weed [15] Simpsons shitpost classic http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/steamed-hams [16] Once I beat magic the gathering hall of famer Shuhei Nakamura in a Grand Prix with a timely remand [17] The first Endolphins release was called North of Misery as a nod to their being in Iowa [18] In 2015 I toured with Endolphins and had two amazing mornings in St Louis, s/o to KPAX and calcifer [19] Sometimes you meet someone who forever changes the way you think about things like water, and then you drown in thoughts never actually able to grasp anything completely again [20] im native as fuck http://www.corteidh.or.cr/tablas/24777.pdf [21] Artist Diego Rivera vs Banksy [22] Kanye West's ego messiah and eponymous album [23] giant robot anime trope for example: neon genesis evangelion, flcl, gundam... [24] Animism but with Anime https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animism [25] Rhino’s are near extinct everywhere https://www.savetherhino.org/rhino_info/rhino_population_figures [26] Slang for giving a person with a vagina multiple orgasms [27] Detroit Tigers skipper Brad Ausmus [28] James Hardin is a professional basketball Superstar [29] Comic book protagonist Batman [30] Price you get for selling an item new (retail) vs used (resale) [31] A certain person who since i have met has inspired most of my creative endeavors [32] See directly above [33] in a way that gives pleasure through beauty [34] biases [35] Comic book character Galactus, Eater of Worlds https://marvel.com/universe/Galactus [36] 1999 science fiction film The Matrix [37] 2010 video game Fallout: New Vegas [38] My favorite Star Trek trope [39] My favorite Matthew McConaughey film [40] See note #5 [41] In american football a quarterback will notice something about the defense and change the play at the line of scrimmage, this is called an audible [42] These are hearthstone cards [43] Snorlax is a very large and heavy pokemon that can only be moved by playing a special flute [44] Vault-tec assisted targeting system in Fallout video game franchise, the more skill points one has the more they can do in combat before an enemy reacts [45] I have been a pillar of the diy community in lansing michigan for 20 years [46] So Long Naota/Collective see note #8 [47] Dr Seuss character who is the protector of nature [48] The Rorschach test is a psychological test in which subjects' perceptions of inkblots are recorded and then analyzed using psychological interpretation, complex algorithms, or both. [49] Since Europeans have arrived on the shores of North and South America they have brought only misery and genocide [50] The second law of thermodynamics requires that, in general, the total entropy of any system can't decrease other than by increasing the entropy of some other system. Hence, in a system isolated from its environment, the entropy of that system tends not to decrease. [51] Drinking is a mostly self destructive behavior for myself and I tend to only do it when i wish to self harm [52] Episode 3 of the 1997 anime Beserk [53] Fuck borders fuck walls freedom is not possible when they exist [54] 1986 film Short Circuit about a robot that gains sentience and learns of death the term for which is dissassemble [55] Professor Xavier from the X-Men comics who runs a school for Mutants [56] 2009 Dutch body horror film Human Centipede tells the story of people sewn mouth to ass [57] Analingus [58] The Mountain Goats frontman John Darnielle or JD aka thrashkitten member of the sooper swag project [59] GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) is a term used in hip hop to talk about the best rappers ever [60] A billy is a male goat [61] #swag is a song by rapper GMCFOSHO who is a friend of mine [62] Jimmy Swaggert was a televangelist who was defrocked for multiple prostitution scandals [63] Chutes and Ladders is a metaphor for life. As such, it is arguably the most philosophical of all children's board games. Based on the ancient Indian game Snakes and Ladders. The historic version had root in morality lessons, where a player's progression up the board represented a life journey complicated by virtues (ladders) and vices (snakes). [64] Banger is a term for a particularly moving composition [65] The Yangtze is the longest river in Asia and the third-longest in the world. The river is the longest in the world to flow entirely within one country. [66] A venomous snake that lives in europe and east asia, also a nod to the lyric earlier about chutes and ladders (snakes and ladders) [67] “Some have criticised the "obviousness" of Banksy's work, and accused it of being "anarchy-lite" geared towards a middle class "hipster" audience.” [68] A slogan used to silence the #blacklivesmatter movement [69] Donald Trump [70] 1998 Arcade game Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja later ported to the Nintendo Entertainment System known widely for its intro cut scene in which the protagonists are asked if they are bad enough dudes to save the president [71] Poppy tea is any herbal tea infusion brewed from poppy straw or seeds of several species of poppy. For the purpose of the tea, dried pods are more commonly used than the pods of the live flower. The walls of the dried pods contain opiate alkaloids, primarily consisting of morphine. [72] I am non-binary and use they/them pronouns [73] 1993 Western Tombstone starring kurt russel and val kilmer [74] Very cheap frozen pizzas of dubious quality [75] Nietzsche claimed the death of God would eventually lead to the loss of any universal perspective on things, and along with it any coherent sense of objective truth [76] Nietzsche once said: “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” [77] Nietzsche also said: “All great things must first wear terrifying and monstrous masks in order to inscribe themselves on the hearts of humanity.” [78] 2015 Anime and Manga One Punch Man’s shout out to Neon Genesis Evangelion describing a monster that is a threat to multiple cities [79] 1992 Arcade Fighing game Mortal Combat’s main villain who stole people's souls [80] Neil Young's sleeper Weight of The World from his amazing foray into new wave on his criminally unheralded album Landing on Water [81] I visited colorado for the first time on tour with Endolphins and tho enjoyable it was mostly mountains and urban sprawl and legal weed [82] The 2016 battle for Lord Stanley’s cup between NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins and [83] Chappell show sketch about Dylon who thought he was the GOAT because “dylon spit hot fire” [84] Battlestar Galactica plot twist [85]Kuru is a very rare, incurable neurodegenerative disorder that was prevalent among the Fore people of Papua New Guinea. Kuru is caused by the transmission of abnormally folded prion proteins, which leads to symptoms such as tremors, loss of coordination, and neurodegeneration. Most people who develop it are cannibals [86] The quantum physics theory of time travel [87] Acids are corrosive and bases are caustic [88] God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it? — Nietzsche, The Gay Science, Section 125,

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