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dearshelby · 1 year

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Persona non grata | T.S

Summary: After many years alone, Tommy believed he had found the love of his life. Unfortunately, during a business trip to America, a ghost from his wife's past proves him otherwise.

A/N: A Tommy x widow fic was on my head for so long but I was never able to write it until now. There are some parts the reader mentions they're american, it might be true or not 👀 You can believe whatever suits you best. Also, I'd like to thank my darling @zablife for suggesting this plot I had so much fun writing!

Tommy tried to swallow the bitter feeling on his throat and pathetically failed. Waiting for Mary Smith in his hotel room in New York, he had to keep himself from crying. He wanted to be angry but wasn't able to, he never was, was this why he was always alone? Because he let women fool him, because he always underestimated them?

The first one was an undercover agent, so beautiful and soft-spoken, everything a man fresh out of the battlefield would ever want. Grace Burgess stuck a knife so deep into his heart she almost made him forget about the great war.

Polly told him she truly had fallen in love with him, so when she asked him to run away to New York with her, he accepted it, he was so blind and lonely that he wanted nothing more than to drown in the mystery Grace was.

However, once they settled in America, the unknown parts of her personality were dragged to light. It wasn't just uniform, they were substantially different, as much as it broke his heart to admit it, the uniform people wear tell a lot about who they truly are.

Despite the initial infatuation being gone, Tommy kept trying to make things work, he got a job and lived like a civilian for a while. As the months went by, going home to Grace's arms became tiring, he didn't want her, he wanted the rich girl who had a child alone and had to work as a barmaid to survive, but that woman didn't exist.

Leaving Grace and going back to Small Heath was one of the most humiliating things Tommy ever went through, his family (mainly Polly) constantly mocked him and the neighbors whispered behind his back.

Eventually, he moved on, deciding to focus on business. He was lonely again but it was alright for him, at least that way he wasn't hurt, soon the idea of marriage and children left his head, these sort of things would never be proffered to men like him anyway.

Years went by and stubborn as he was, Tommy kept trying, he wouldn't admit he hated to be alone all the time. He had May Carleton, Tatiana Petrovna, Jessie Eden and Lizzie Stark. He wished May, Lizzie or even Jessie had made his heart beat stronger, but they never did.

After eight years hopping from place to place, Tommy accepted he was unlovable. He couldn't stop working and women couldn't deal with it, he didn't blame them for it. After all, he had lost so many, he had no parents, no wife or long term partner, no children and somehow he managed to lose John and Polly too.

In the year of 1930, Tommy spent New Year's alone as an old, lonely, chainsmoker and alcoholic man at the corner of the Garrison. Whiskey ran in his veins and smoke stained his lungs, killing him faster than he imagined, not that he cared for that, as far as he was concerned he was dead already.

The pub was empty and dark, not many people spent New Year's alone. So when a tiny voice approached him, he was surprised.

"Can I sit here?"

Tommy looked up to a woman in a black dress, modest make-up and a ring hanging from her necklace. He quickly assumed she was a widow.

"You're not scared of me?" he asked.

"Should I be?"

"Do you know who I am?"

"Well, I just moved from United States so no," she shrugged off, "I just want someone to watch the fireworks with,"

Heavily sighing, Tommy kicked off a chair for her to sit down. He had no idea that from now on he wouldn't be lonely anymore.

At first, he was bothered by her presence, every glance and word was hesitant, they watched the fireworks and made small talk.

He thought she was looking for sexual relief after losing her husband, but she wasn't, they spent the night drinking together and she didn't flirt with him for one second at least. That made him intrigued, people usually don't get close to him without hidden intentions.

He knew he shouldn't and like every other relationship, it would probably fail, but he couldn't resist seeing her again, he needed to know why she came at him.

Shamelessly, Tommy asked her on a date which she hesitantly accepted, at the end of it she kissed his cheek and went inside, not giving any chance or implying she wanted to romance him. It was news to him, a woman trying to befriend him, he didn't even think of himself capable of this matter.

As months went by, her and Tommy became close, mainly because of her insistence on visiting his house with homemade biscuits, going to the cinema or walking to the stables.

When he told her he was an MP, she wasn't impressed, just like when he told her he was a businessman and a soldier. She didn't seem to care for the only things people got close to him for.

In the slow process of one year and eight months, Tommy fell for her. He married her and had a child with her, insisting on naming their daughter Lucy because it meant light, after so long in the dark, he finally found light.

Right now, waiting in his hotel room, he wasn't doing this only for himself, but for Lucy too.

Three knocks on the door were followed by a young woman entering the room, "Mr. Shelby? You've received my letter?"

"Mary Smith? Please sit down," Tommy ordered.

"Mr. Shelby, I-"

"You've made a serious accusation against my wife,"

"It's not an accusation, Henry Smith was my brother! She killed him!"

"Can you prove that, Mrs. Smith?" Tommy gulped.

"No, I don't know how the bitch made it, but my brother was a healthy man, he wouldn't have a heart attack out of the sudden,"

Tommy gritted his teeth hearing his wife being called a bitch. At the same time, insecurity weighed on his chest.

"If this stupid accusation is true, why would you tell me?" he asked.

"I know you had a child together, I don't know what this woman is capable of,"

"I see, you can go now," Tommy nodded, "but Mary, if I do a research and find out you're lying you'll find the same destiny as your brother,"

After Mary left, Tommy held his head in his hands, tearing up and fighting the knot in his throat. His dear Y/N, a murderer, his beloved wife, a murderer, the mother of his child, a murderer.

Surely, he was a murderer too, but it wasn't the same, hypocrisy or not, Tommy feared for Lucy's safety, he wouldn't let Y/N near her. To make matters worse, the phone rang loudly, he picked up and heard his wife's voice,

"Tommy? Baby?" she greeted, "Baby, can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear you,"

"Your voice is raspy, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, love," he hid the angst, "I miss you,"

"I miss you too, when you're coming home?"

"I have some things to finish first,"

"I see, call me before you catch the flight, so I'll know you're safe,"

"I will,"

"Uhm, are you busy?"

"Yeah,"

"You're acting strange, baby, did something happen?" she worried, usually Tommy asked many questions and kept her tuned with the deals he made.

"No, nothing happened, I just-" he sighed, "Y/N, I have to hang up now,"

"Okay," she muttered, "I love you,"

"I know," Tommy said before putting the phone down.

Mixed feelings clouded his mind, he wished he never got Mary's letter, he wished his wife was the woman she presented herself as and he wished to still be unaware of her past.

Standing up to pour himself a whiskey glass, Tommy felt no regrets in no longer being sober, he didn't care much for the matter now that he had research to do.

—

As the driver parked the car in front of the Arrow House, Tommy had no desire to get off of it, facing reality would hurt and so would carry on with his plan. His heart was broken, but he wouldn't risk Lucy's safety.

Entering the house, he heard high heels coming at him, Y/N carried Lucy and greeted him with a big smile. She wrapped one arm around him, watching out to not disturb their asleep daughter.

"I missed you so much," she whispered in his ear, "you didn't call,"

"I forgot," he took the baby from her arms, "but I'm here now,"

"Tsk, I suppose," she scoffed, "but you made me worried, baby,"

"Why don't you tell Frances to serve some tea and light up the fireplace, eh?" he dismissed.

Without answering, she left the room, for the first time since they met, Tommy noticed how cold her eyes were.

Heavily sighing, he rubbed his tired ones, there was ten of fifteen minutes before she was out of his life forever. Kissing Lucy's forehead, he gave her to the babysitter before heading to his office.

Y/N was looking through the window when he entered the place, two hot cups of tea were placed on his desk and some of the decorations were out of place, meaning someone had gone through his belongings.

She turned to him with a tiny smile, pulling the chair for him to sit down before taking the other seat in front of him.

Being face-to-face with her, Tommy glanced at her neck. She once wore a ring hanging on a thin gold chain, but as a sign of respect to both him and her deceased husband, she removed the small diamond stone from the ring to turn it into a discreet necklace.

"How was America?" she suddenly asked, blowing on her cup of tea.

"Nice, made me wonder why you moved out of it,"

She arched her eyebrows in surprise, usually he called the United States, especially New York, a loud nation with savage people, only truly enjoying the natural views of isolated places.

"What changed your mind about my homeland?"

"I realized," he shrugged off, "perhaps I was the old fashioned one, there's too many positive points for you to just turn your back on," he pointed out.

"You know after my husband's death I couldn't stand staying at home,"

"There's fucking fifty states, love, why move so far?"

"Aren't you glad I did?" she put her cup down a bit too harshly, "We wouldn't have met if I didn't,"

"Oh, I am," he nodded, "just find it weird,"

"Why?"

"You never really mentioned your husband, nothing more than the surname he gave ya,"

"...you're my husband," she hissed.

"The other one, the one you killed,"

"What?! Baby, what are you talking about?!" her eyes widened.

"I know, Y/N," he mumbled.

"Whatever they told you is not true," she teared up.

"No one told me anything, I have proof,"

"What proof? I could never do that, you know me, I'm your wife!" she gripped on the edge of his desk.

"Mary Smith wrote me a letter and I've done my research," he spoke, "you killed him for money I assume, then you moved to England and found me,"

Listening to his explanation, her desperate features turned into a blank face. She clenched her jaw and argued, "It's different with you, baby,"

Tommy scoffed in disbelief and she continued, "It's true, I killed my husband but I love you,"

His only reaction was a gulp, he knew outing her wouldn't be easy. However, it was hard to forget the life they built together and not to fall for her lies.

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because it's true," she emotionlessly replied, "we're married, we have a child, all because I came at you,"

"And I always wondered why would you, now I know," he drawled, "dark knows dark,"

"So let it be dark," she reached for his hand across the desk, "I love you, Thomas,"

Checking his pocket watch, Tommy sighed, "I love you too,"

Suddenly, the police blasted through the office's doors. Y/N stood up, but quickly gave up resisting, a cop grabbed and handcuffed her. During the operation, her eyes never left his.

Tommy followed after as she was taken away, not a single tear ran down her face while he had to blink his away. Before they crossed the front door, she turned to him and finished,

"Tommy?"

"Hm?"

"When I get out of jail," she hesitated, "I'll take my child away from England and I'll be a widow twice,"

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagine

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scotianostra · 1 month

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On March 28th 1318 A Scots army retook Berwick on Tweed.

Some sources give "April" as the date of the battle one of my sources gives this exact dates so rather than a vague month I am posting this today.

Following the decisive victory at Bannockburn in 1314, the only stronghold Edward II's army held was the border town of Berwick, a town that has been fought over and changed hands many times over the centuries, at one point it was Scotland's wealthiest port.

In September 1317, King Robert Bruce attempted a siege of the town, which lasted until November before he withdrew. The following year, an English sergeant was bribed to allow a party of Scots to climb the town wall. The raiding party, led by Sir James Douglas, and possibly the Earl of Dunbar, took the town after a fight.

The castle was warned when they lost control of their men, who began to plunder and failed to capture the castle. King Robert soon arrived with an army, and after an eleven-week siege, the castle garrison capitulated due to a lack of supplies. The English burgesses were expelled, and King Robert re-established Berwick as a Scottish trading port, installing his son-in-law Walter Stewart as Keeper.

Berwick would change hands several more times in the years to come, before permanently becoming part of England when the town was captured in 1482.

The pic shows The Good Sir James outside Berwick, you can tell this depiction is meant to be pre 1330 as the heart has not been added to his coat of arms as yet.

#scotland #scottish #history #english #england #first war of scottish independence

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runnning-outof-time · 2 years

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Not Just Some Backup Plan | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: yes by @kittykylax

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: When Grace leaves Small Heath, Tommy turns back to the person who's been around since the beginning.

Warnings: language, drinking

Word Count: 3721

A/N: this story was fun to write. I tried to base (Y/N) off of Amy from the movie Little Women...I hope that it shined through well. Also I hope that this was the happy ending that you were looking for. Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

The bar was crowded with men that the Shelby brothers had brought along with them to help celebrate their send off to the derby. The room seemed to be buzzing, but (Y/N) couldn't be bothered. She huffed out a sigh as she brought the glass to her lips, taking another sip of the burning liquid and enjoying the feeling as it slid down her throat.

"Something bothering you, (Y/N)?" Polly Gray asked with furrowed eyebrows as she approached the booth (Y/N) was sitting in from where she was in the back of the Garrison.

"No," (Y/N) shook her head and hoped that the woman would believe her lie, "just not in the mood for celebration."

Polly pursed her lips, giving the younger woman her trademarked 'I know something's wrong with you but I'm not gonna force it out of you' look before she took a sip from the drink she'd brought with her. "Are you joining the boys at the derby or hanging back?"

(Y/N) didn't hear the other woman's question though. Instead, she had her eyes and mind focused on none other than her friend Tommy Shelby as he grinned and served drinks alongside the barmaid, Grace Burgess. She couldn't stop the pang of jealousy from building inside of her as she wished that could have been her standing by his side and doing everything with him. Instead she was only his friend. She was his friend and he didn't know anything otherwise, or else he wouldn't have kissed Grace while she was around like he did at the Garrison several days ago.

"Hello?" the sound of snapping and the single word question brought (Y/N) back into the conversation.

"Hi," she smiled at Polly, who laughed at the blatant confusion that was spread across (Y/N)'s face now.

"I asked you if you were going to be going to the derby or staying back," Polly repeated herself, her grin now present again as she then glanced over to see Tommy and Grace. She now knew the young woman's dilemma without even having to ask her.

"I'll probably stay back," (Y/N) answered with a bit of a frown, "there's nothing there that I'd be needed for anyway," she added to help her case.

She glanced towards the bar again in time to see Grace quickly retreat to the stockroom. Tommy's grin faltered before he too made his way into the room and shut the door. I don't even wanna think about what they're doing in there, she thought...except she was still thinking about it.

"I...I've gotta go, Pol," she said suddenly as she stood from the booth, "I'm sorry, but I'm not really feeling being in a crowd today." Polly only gave her a look of sympathy before she left the booth and began walking to the doors. On her way there, she looked over at the door to the room Tommy and Grace had disappeared into. They hadn't come out yet, and she didn't want to stick around to see the satisfied grins on their faces when they did. So she dropped her eyes to the floor and continued walking to the exit.

(Y/N) didn't do much for the rest of the day. She sat around her apartment and wondered just how she got herself to this point.

She cursed the fact that she'd welcomed all of the remarks that were flirty in nature from Tommy, and she wanted to kick herself for sending them right back to him. She hated that she shared a kiss with him; one that happened late into a drink-filled night at the Garrison, where they stayed back after everyone else left and held each other's glances for just a little too long. He wouldn't see her as anything other than his friend, and she knew that. It'd be impossible to think of anything else with a woman like Grace by his side.

So as the day grew later, she sat at her dining table with a bottle of scotch…one that Tommy would surely turn his nose up to, but she didn't care. It was all that she had, and she intended on drinking it.

A knock sounded off the door to her apartment when she was about a glass and a half in. With furrowed eyebrows, she stood from the chair and made her way over to it. "Who is it?" she called, confusion in her voice. Surely it must've been night by now...who'd be bothering her at this time?

"It's me," came the voice from the other side.

With a sigh, she undid the lock and twisted the knob, opening the door to reveal a drenched Tommy Shelby. "Is it raining?" she questioned upon taking in his attire.

"It is," he nodded, sounding slightly out of breath, "can I come in?" he asked her then, peering around her into the apartment.

"Why?" she asked him, not moving aside yet. She was still a little wary of him from the last time she saw him.

"Because I need to talk to you," he answered her, his voice showing the dire need he possessed at the moment. (Y/N) held his gaze for a moment longer before she silently nodded and stepped aside. Tommy took that as his go-ahead and walked into the apartment. Once he was through the threshold, (Y/N) shut the door and then turned to face him.

"What do you need to talk about?" she immediately got into it, her eyebrows on the cusp of raising as he turned back to face her once more. Before he could speak, however, her eyes widened at the sight of blood splattered on what looked to be a cloth wrapped around his chest. "What's happened to you?" she asked him, concern seeping into her expression.

"Kimber and his men came into Small Heath. He demanded we have a war, he shot me and then I killed him," he explained, his voice rather monotoned as he recounted what'd happened that day for the umpteenth time.

"Shot?" she questioned with wide eyes, taking a step forward and wanting to reach out and examine his wound before she caught herself and took a step back. "Are you ok?" she settled on asking him.

"Yes, I'm fine," he nodded his head, taking a deep breath then, "I wanted to come and talk to you," he then circled back around to his previous statement.

"Ok?" her response came out as a question, like she was asking for him to continue as she waited with an intent expression on her face. He took another deep breath and looked away from her, his eyes becoming fixated on the shelves filled with dishes to the right of them. "Tommy?" she questioned, becoming more confused as each second passed.

"Grace left," he told her, his eyes finding hers again after he spoke. (Y/N)'s jaw went slack at his statement, surprise surging through her body. "She...she was fuckin' spying on me, (Y/N). She was spying on me for Campbell."

"You're...you're kidding, Tommy," she finally spoke after her initial shock wore off, "please tell me that you're kidding."

"I'm not," he shook his head, hurt clear in his eyes, "Pol was the one who put the pieces together. I told her about our move on Kimber and she told Campbell every-fucking-thing that I told her," he explained more of his situation, his hands hooking onto his waist as he shook his head. He was still in shock from it all. "She's going to London. She told me to come with her. I flipped a coin, and it landed wrong."

"I can't believe this," (Y/N) said, her eyes still wide as her brain was going at a hundred miles a minute trying to process what he'd just told her. "Out of all the people, I just...wow. I can't believe you allowed her to get close to you and use you like that."

"The coin landed wrong for a reason, (Y/N)..." he trailed off, not responding to her shock at all. He then took a step closer to her, making her even more confused. "I'm supposed to stay here, in Small Heath. I'm supposed to be with you," he spoke with sincerity in his voice, his words shocking (Y/N) yet again.

Her eyes widened slightly as she tried to now process his statement, which had come from out of left field. Moments later, she began shaking her head. "No," she said while still shaking her head.

"No, what?" Tommy questioned, his eyebrows furrowing as confusion set in.

"You're not doing this, Tommy," she said, dropping her gaze to the floor.

"What am I doing?" there was a mixture of utter confusion and a notion of pleading in his voice. He had no idea what she was getting at, and she sighed as she realized that she was going to have to spell it out for him.

"I'm not just some backup plan, Tommy. I will not be the person you settle for just because you cannot have her. I won't, I won't do that..." she paused, breaking their gaze as she felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. She shook her head and blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay before she took a deep breath. "I won't...not when I've spent my entire life loving you," she admitted then.

She stammered through her words at first, but her confession rang in Tommy's ears loud and clear. Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd just said, and it was enough for her to drop her gaze and leave him, walking over to rest herself against the back of the couch. Tommy stood, speechless in his spot, his mouth gaped slightly as he tried to make sense of what she'd just confessed to him.

"Can you please leave, Tommy?" she asked him after a few quiet moments had passed. Her gaze was trained on the floor. She couldn't bear to look at him after what she'd just said. "I need to be alone right now."

"(Y/N), I..."

"Please?" she cut him off, stressing the word as she looked up at him again with tear-filled eyes. It was taking all that she had to hold the tears in. She didn't want him to see her cry; didn't want him to then have a reason to swoop in and offer her a shoulder to cry on.

He stayed frozen in his spot for a few more moments before finally he nodded his head. "I'll go," he told her, then taking the few steps back over to the door. He opened it and then moved into the doorway before stopping and turning back to look at her one more time. "I will make this up to you, (Y/N)," he promised her before he exited the apartment and closed the door for good. The sound of the handle clicking was enough to allow (Y/N) to let all of her tears fall.

"Ada why do I need to wear this specific dress?" (Y/N) asked the woman who was sitting on the couch.

"Because I am deciding that it's finally time for you to get out of this place again and go experience a good time," Ada answered, picking at her nails before she glanced over at the woman holding the dress.

"I get out of this place a lot, thank you very much," (Y/N) countered, a bit of a dumbfounded expression on her face.

"But do you have a good time?" Ada questioned, her one eyebrow raised. (Y/N) pursed her lips and stayed mum at the ask. It'd been weeks since she allowed herself to go out and have a good time. Ada laughed slightly as she stood up and smoothed out her dress. "It's settled then...you and I are going into the city later. I'll be here at six with a driver to pick you up," she laid out the details of (Y/N)'s newly acquired plans.

"Oh...ok," (Y/N) was left with no other choice but to agree with them as she watched the other woman walk over to the apartment's door.

"I'll see you at six," Ada announced, sending one last smile before opening the door and leaving the apartment.

Once the door was shut again, (Y/N) let out a sigh. Why had she just agreed to going out? She still felt like she didn't have it in her, everything that happened with Tommy still fresh in her mind even though it happened a few weeks ago. God, why did she have to foolishly admit her feelings to him? She sighed at that thought as well.

The day passed too quickly for (Y/N)'s liking, and soon enough, she was fixing her hair in the mirror, hoping that the simple pin-back she did would go well with the royal blue dress she was wearing.

When the clock chimed at six, she took a deep breath and grabbed her purse. She deemed herself ready to go after looking in the mirror across the room one last time.

Her jaw went slack when she saw what was waiting for her outside of her apartment. "Where's Ada, Tommy? Are you driving us?" she began asking the man that was leaning up against the black car questions. An indescribable feeling began filling her as she was unable to tear her eyes away from the man she hadn't seen in weeks (which was because she'd been actively avoiding him).

Tommy grinned at her confusion. The plan that Ada set into place had obviously worked. "I'm taking you into the city," he told her once she had stopped where he was standing. He pushed himself off of the car before he opened the passenger's side door. With furrowed eyebrows, (Y/N) accepted his invitation into the car. Immediately, she twisted around to see if Ada was sitting in the back, but she was met with an empty seat.

"Where's Ada?" she questioned him again once he'd entered the car through the driver's side door.

"It'll be just us going into the city," Tommy responded, starting the car before he promptly pulled off.

"Tommy," she sighed, staring down at her lap as the pieces were coming together to show her just how she had gotten sucked into this predicament.

"Let me make this up to you," he said to her, removing his eyes from the road to briefly glance in her direction.

(Y/N) immediately knew what 'this' meant without even asking him to elaborate. She pursed her lips and looked out at the road again, a swarm of questions swirling through her head now. Carefully, she chose the one she felt was the most important to ask: "You're not just doing this to forget about her, are you?" she said her words softly, almost like she didn't want him to hear them.

But he heard them loud and clear. "Forget about who?" was his response, and he ended it by looking over at her with a serious expression on his face.

(Y/N) sucked in a breath as she tried to ground herself and not go too much into her head. This is just a day in the city, she thought to herself. "So this is a date then?" her mouth wanted to believe the complete opposite.

A hint of a grin formed on Tommy's face at her question. "If you want it to be," he left the ball in her court, nodding his head to the side slightly as he kept focused on the road. (Y/N) only pursed her lips at his answer, unable to give her thoughts on the events that had transpired because it was clear to her that she was in two different mindsets within herself.

The rest of the ride into the city was a quiet one, and it was only when Tommy parked the car and walked around to open her door that he spoke again: "lemme help you out," he mumbled, offering his hand to her. She took it, then sliding her body out from the passenger's side seat and sending him a gracious smile. Tommy shut the door and tossed the keys to the valet man before he offered his arm to (Y/N). She glanced down at his gesture before hooking hers with it so that he could lead her to the doors of the fancy establishment. "Figured we'd get ourselves a nice dinner," he commented on the upper class establishment as they entered it and were immediately taken back to a table.

“This is a nice place, Tommy,” (Y/N) commented as she looked around the dining room, seeing the many other couples that were busy conversing and eating fine cuisine.

“Only the best for you, love,” he sent her a grin, one that made her cheeks heat up. Quickly, she attempted to hide it with the glass of wine that had been poured for her, but she knew Tommy had seen her reaction.

They talked about nothing in particular as they waited for their food to be served. Once it was, Tommy couldn’t help but keep his eyes focused on (Y/N) rather than bother with his food.

“What?” (Y/N) questioned him once she noticed that he’d been looking at her.

“Nothing,” Tommy shook his head, taking a sip of his whiskey.

She took his word and looked back down at her plate. As she was beginning to cut off another piece of her food, she felt his eyes on her once more. “Why’re you staring at me, Tommy?” she questioned him again, her voice holding no accusatory tone. It was merely just her curiosity getting the better of her.

“I was uh, remembering...” he paused, clearing his throat as he waved his one hand in the air like it would help him find the words he wanted to say, “I was remembering the times we spent together.”

“Oh yeah?” (Y/N) leaned forward slightly with intrigue dancing in her eyes, “the good, or the bad?”

“The good, of course,” Tommy responded, a grin on his face as he leaned in closer as well, “I was thinking about that time when you sucker punched that man for looking at you funny...after he went on for minutes about drinkin’ at the bar alone, it was the stupid look on his face that did him in,” he recalled, laughing to himself after telling the story.

(Y/N) also laughed at the memory. “I may have had a little too much in me that night,” she said as a blush covered her cheeks and she looked down at her plate in a bashful manner.

“No,” Tommy shook his head as he paused for a moment, “or maybe you did because you kissed me in the snug later on,” he then added, his words making (Y/N)’s eyes quickly snap up to meet his.

“You remembered that?” she asked him, her eyes now wide with shock.

“‘Course I did...” Tommy paused and leaned back in his seat, “won’t ever forget something like that.”

“Well you should,” (Y/N) started, a slight frown on her face, “because it was probably terrible.”

Tommy shook his head at that, “no...not terrible in the slightest.” His eyes met hers then, his gaze so intense she was able to feel it in her bones.

A momentary silence fell over the both of them then, the only sounds being the clinking of silverware off of plates. Then (Y/N) decided to speak again: “what else do you have planned for tonight?”

“I figured we’d go to the pictures. Then maybe have a walk by the canal...it’s much nicer than the one back in Small Heath,” he laid out his plans for them, his final comment making (Y/N) laugh slightly. As she dared to look up at him again, a feeling that she’d never felt before found its way inside of her. She nodded in response to his words, deciding that maybe it’d be good to go along with what he had planned.

After a calming walk and a thought-provoking movie, (Y/N) and Tommy arrived back at her apartment. He played the role of gentleman and made sure to walk her up to her apartment’s door on the second floor.

“Thank you for tonight, Tommy,” she said before she went to unlock her door, “I had a really lovely time.”

“I’m happy you enjoyed yourself,” Tommy nodded slightly, a smile playing on his lips as his eyes locked with hers. They stood in silence for a few moments before he asked what had been on his mind since they’d arrived at her building, “does this get me a second date?”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened at his sudden question. She was a bit taken back by it, but she couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face. “I think it does,” she then gave him the answer he was waiting for.

The grin broke full onto his features as he heard what her answer was. Within seconds of hearing it, he was leaning in closer to her. (Y/N), realizing what he was doing, was able to place her hands against either side of his neck, effectively stopping him before he could match his lips to hers. He exhaled a disappointed grunt before asking, “what was that for?” while his breath fanned against her lips.

“I only kiss on fourth dates, Tommy,” she told him, a smile present in her words before she leaned in and pressed a teasing kiss to his cheek; closer in location to the corner of his lips than to his earlobe.

Her smile was still present as she stepped back from him and dropped her hold completely. Nothing else was said as she unlocked her door, opened it, and stepped inside.

Her smile widened as she thought about the events of the night. If Tommy Shelby truly wanted her, he’d have to work for it and show her that she wasn’t part of some backup plan. She had a pretty good feeling that he would.

Tagged: @alreadybroken-ts @magicallovdrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @easilyobessedbutflighty @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

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emmatgc · 5 months

Text

Grace's Secret

Grace was a spy. A birdwatcher.

She was a trailblazer. A pioneer of its kind.

Fiercely devoted to her cause.

A woman ahead of her time but full of revenge and duty.

An agent of the crown.

She became a barmaid.

She became an avenger.

She knew where she was going. Oh she thought

Until she met a certain, Thomas Shelby.

A cold blooded gangster, ex decorated soldier with PTSD who never came back from the war.

She knew what she had to do.

She had a mission.

She lied and lied. Red flags.

He fell in love.

He fell in love the moment he laid his eyes on her.

Too proud to admit, he knew her already.

Researched on her.

There were redflags, too.

King of Small Heath, couldn't find a clue or simply ignores it.

The Garrison proved to be their playground.

The place their feelings started.

Now they have "seen each other"

Now, they are falling in love.

He respected her. He was in awe of her.

What is her secret? How come she is here, Tommy wondered.

She got off without a scratch when they all knew.

She did his duty in exchange for love.

She threw everything she was trained for, only to get her heart broken.

She was unapologetic.

She left but only after presenting Tommy an alternative of a life.

Tommy wanted a life with her after frist one night.

She tricked everyone. She was a force.

Yet, never an ounce of anger towards her.

For Tommy clearly understood her.

That is the woman he fell for.

Two years has passed nobody moved on.

After tons of letters, Tommy was too wounded to reply.

She is a different person now.

Back to her old, posh , renewed life.

Some don't like her for being that change of a character.

They see her as "ordinary" now.

But I say, spy or not, she is a woman of strength and substance.

Something that cant be said to the others.

She committed adultery. Probably her greatest fault but no, her greatest misstep is falling in love with a racketeer.

They found each other again.

A second chance.

They had a reunion.

Conceived Charlie.

Eloped together.

Finally, through hell and high waters, officially got married.

See , Grace secret is Tommy's secret, too.

For she was the only woman who stood by him, for him and with him.

She has the power over him and he allowed her to be.

Grace is not weak nor she has become weak when she became his wife

Grace scared a lot of the Shelby family esp Polly.

Grace is the priority. Grace was the boss.

She will always be chosen in a heartbeat.

She got everybody wrapped in her fingers.

She is Grace Helen Burgess.

The only woman Tommy fell on his knees.

The one he was ready to be the "other guy" when she was married.

He was vulnerable with her.

He wanted to change for her.

Yet she was more than just about a spy who fell in love.

Her story is a story of a woman, unafraid of who she is, ready to fight for love, family and duty.

And she couldn't care enough what the f*ck you think.

She can take on everybody even the devil himself.

She tamed a monster.

And she did. Probably at the cost of her life

But she never left. Oh, boy, she looms over everybody and she is alive, always.

That's Grace's secret. No regrets.

Never gone.

Never forgotten.

Never had to prove her place and station.

She was the right woman not at the right time only BUT any and all the time for Tommy.

Always in Tommy's heart.

Always in our hearts.

Always Grace.

#tommy x grace #grace shelby #grace burgess #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #annabelle wallis #tommy x grace forever #cillian murphy #thomas shelby #true love always win

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emotionalcadaver · 2 months

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Part 19: In the Bleak Midwinter

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Grace Burgess x OC

Summary: Tatiana wants to show them something.

Word Count: 6,988

Notes: Warnings for depictions of smut, including a threesome and choking.

Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic

Previous Part • Next Part

Chapter 21: The Ghost

They wound up in an ornate room, surrounded by people fucking.

Lively music was being played by a group of musicians set up near one wall. Tatiana led them through the room, weaving past naked, writhing bodies to an unoccupied couch. She gestured for Tommy to sit, and he slumped down into it, grabbing a glass of whiskey from the table and leaning into one corner of the chaise.

Before Lucy could move towards him, Tatiana darted forward, cutting her off and sidling into the spot beside him, resting half atop his chest and half against his side with her legs curled up next to her, leaving next to no room left on the couch. Lucy blinked, taken aback. Her nails bit into her palms as she fought to keep her annoyance wiped off her face. The smirk Tatiana shot her was just proof she was only trying to get a rise out of her.

The Russian was still on thin ice in Lucy’s mind after what she’d done to Arthur. She may be working with them, far closer than any of the other members of her family, but that didn’t mean Lucy had to like her.

It did, however, mean that they needed to play nice. It would be disastrous to get on her bad side this far along into the plan.

Lucy sighed, stepping around the table in front of the chaise, eyes fixed on the space on the floor in front of Tommy’s legs. No point in trying to force Tatiana to move.

Tommy’s brow creased, clearly taking note of the action as well. His jaw ticked, and when she took a step closer he sat up, coiling the arm not holding his drink around her waist.

“I can just sit on the floor…” she started, even as she let him draw her in closer.

“The hell you are,” Tommy grumbled under his breath, pulling her into his lap. She wound up seated across his thighs, legs spread out atop Tatiana’s, and her back resting on the armrest of the couch. Grabbing a drink from a passing waiter, she hooked an arm around Tommy’s shoulders for stability while he leaned back, getting situated with one arm sliding around Tatiana, and the other, still holding his glass, around Lucy. She sighed contentedly, head lolling against his shoulder. If Tatiana was annoyed at Tommy’s solution to their lack of space, she didn’t show it. If anything, she looked mildly amused, balancing a wine glass brought to her by a waiter in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Around them, it was madness. John was dancing with two other men near the musicians, the three of them tumbling to the floor with laughter. Behind her, Tommy downed his glass of whiskey. She took it from him, leaning forward to grab the bottle on the table and pour him another, taking the opportunity to refill her own glass too. His fingers circled along her shoulder as she did, sending shivers along her spine. The sounds and smell of sex around them was making her light headed. It was hard to know where to look. Just about everywhere, there were people in various positions of debauchery.

“I’ve never been to an orgy before,” she said softly, drinking deeply from her glass. The closest she’d come had been a foursome with Tommy and two girls after the Garrison reopened. Tommy turned his head, pressing open-mouthed kisses to her neck that made her shiver. She craned her head up to look at him. “Is it impolite to stare?”

He raised his eyes away from where they’d been fixed on her pulse point to sweep his deep blue gaze across the room. He shrugged.

“They’re out here, in the open…” he wetted his lips. “Maybe they want to be watched,” his voice lowered huskily.

“Mm,” Lucy hummed, allowing herself to fully take in the scene around them. Naked skin and echoing moans. Laughter.

It was loud and chaotic. The amount of sensory information to take in was overwhelming. Perhaps under other circumstances, she could have allowed herself to enjoy it. But not tonight. She was too on edge from what Tatiana had done earlier, and here, in this place, where they were surrounded by enemies, she could not find it in herself to fully relax.

She drained another glass of whiskey and let Tommy refill it, pressing a kiss to his collarbone in thanks. He smelled nice, and she opened her mouth to ask him if he’d reapplied some of his expensive cologne between them leaving the treasury and coming here, but he chose that moment to skim his fingertips lightly along the curve of her breast. All of the whiskey–too much, she’d probably already had far too much–had addled her brain.

“I think I’m drunk,” she whispered into his ear, burrowing against him.

“Mm,” he kissed her curls. “Me too,” he coaxed her closer to his chest. “It’s okay.”

She nodded. Drunk or not, Tommy would never let anything bad happen to her.

From across the room, she spotted a maid taking Arthur by the hand, pulling him to his feet and leading him away.

“Looks like Arthur found himself a maid,” Lucy mumbled, lips grazing the underside of Tommy’s jaw when she tilted her head up to look at him. He just hummed in acknowledgement. He felt tense beneath her, be it from the activities of the day, Tatiana still curled into his side, or just general stress, she couldn’t be sure. Leaning back deeper against him, she nuzzled at his throat, and he let out a small breath, chest relaxing ever so slightly with it.

“My aunt only employs the best whores,” Tatiana sat up, leaning away slightly to look at them properly. Tommy tilted his head back, bringing his cigarette to his lips. Lucy ignored the duchess, continuing to snuggle into Tommy’s neck, trying to soothe him. He closed his eyes, purring low in his chest to encourage her to keep going.

“How did you feel when I held him?” Tatiana asked. That had Lucy’s eyes snapping to her, jaw clenching around the words she would have liked to have spat in response to that little stunt Tatiana had pulled. “You were jealous,” she continued, before either of them could respond. Tommy’s brows furrowed, eyes opening and head lifting. “You wanted to kill me. Or him. No?”

“I think you’re overestimating how much we care about you, love,” Lucy said, and while she kept her voice light, from the way Tatiana’s eyes snapped to hers, and her smirk settled, she could tell she’d heard the intended bite beneath them.

Tommy brought his cigarette to his lips, slowly, as if to buy himself time to formulate his words in his mind before he spoke them.

“Why do you play games with people when there is no benefit to you?” he asked, finally. Lucy’s eyes darted between them, gaging Tatiana’s reaction. It was a subtle slap, but a slap nonetheless. One that said, I see no use for you outside our business together. What good would my jealousy, or my anger, be to you, when there is nothing more between us?

Tatiana did not look hurt, rather there was something more relaxed, almost vulnerable, in her face.

Lucy wondered if perhaps she found it refreshing that despite Tommy’s attraction, he still remained relatively unaffected by her. He was not interested in her games. Nor was he about to fall over himself to kiss her feet like Lucy imagined so many must have before him. And he would not fall in love with her. Even sex was but a simple transaction.

It was just business.

“In Russia, because we were bored. In England, because we don’t know how to stop.”

Lucy figured that might have been the most honest and genuine Tatiana had ever been with them.

And then, the mask was back in place. “At least there are silly games and orgasms.”

Tommy blinked, slow. “So let’s fuck.”

Tatiana looked momentarily taken aback. “Here?”

Lucy shifted uncomfortably, the fine hairs on the back of her arms raising. The idea of being so exposed, with so many other people around…

Tommy glanced at her, hand landing on her hip and thumb rubbing circles into her skin, shaking his head. “No, in a darker place.”

She relaxed, shooting him a thankful look. Without a word, Tatiana stood, adjusting her shawl. She held out a hand, helping Lucy hop from Tommy’s lap. Her long fingers slid along the expanse of Lucy’s arm, smirking and fluttering her lashes at her before letting her go to take Tommy’s hand and pull him to his feet. He swiped the remaining bottle of whiskey as he rose and looped the arm, still holding the bottle, around Lucy’s shoulders.

As they began to follow Tatiana out of the room, dodging the writhing bodies surrounding them, he glanced at her. You alright with this?

She shrugged. Blinked at him. We’ve already done this once with her before.

The hand around her shoulders squeezed as they rounded a corner. He had to let her go when they came to a narrow doorway, following Tatiana through it with Lucy right behind him. Tatiana looked over her shoulder at them, mischievous smile in place, and took Tommy’s hand, beginning to drag him along through the narrow, ornate hallways.

Just as they got to another doorway, Tommy gave Tatiana a firm tug on her hand, turning her around and pulling her into his front, arms wrapping around her waist as he kissed her. Tatiana indulged him only for a moment before pulling away, unraveling her shawl from around her shoulders and leading the rest of the way into a dimly lit room. Tommy took a hefty swig from the bottle still held in his hand, offering it to Lucy once he was done. The liquid burned as she gulped it down, Tommy’s hand on her shoulder helping to nudge her the rest of the way into the room before he closed the door.

In the fireplace, orange and yellow flames roared brightly. The room was decorated with deep red rugs. Candelabras, lit and unlit, were scattered about. Red candles flickered, the light they cast seductive and ominous. A table, lined with photos and candles, was pressed up against one wall, like an altar.

Tommy half lunged at Tatiana, kissing her roughly and backing her into the wall with a thud. Lucy felt her heartbeat pick up as she watched them kiss and wrestle for control, the sounds of their heavy breathing and the wet smack of their lips against each other making her core flutter.

Taking a few wobbly steps forward, she plastered herself to Tommy’s back, arms wrapping around his middle and lips pressing to the nape of his neck. His breathing grew more labored, breaking his kiss with Tatiana to dip his head to nuzzle along her cleavage. Tatiana raised her dark eyes to Lucy, head tilting forward to peck her on the lips. When she pulled back, her expression was deathly serious.

“You still love her, don’t you?”

It was like a bucket of cold water had been flung over their heads. Lucy jerked back and Tommy froze, both so shocked that they barely remembered how to breathe.

So hard. They tried so hard not to think about her. Especially during moments like this.

Lucy’s eyes darted to the dark corners of the room, half expecting to see the ghost standing there, hands clasped in front of her, the light reflecting off of her golden hair while she watched them with sad blue eyes.

But there was nothing in the corners but shadows.

“You want her?” Tatiana didn’t back down from their shocked expressions. The question didn’t even sound accusatory, more just generally curious.

A little sob broke from Lucy’s throat, and she clamped her jaws down tight around it, swallowing hard.

“Why would you fucking say that?” Tommy breathed out. His face twisted, trying to grab at Tatiana, but she pushed his hands away.

“Tommy,” Tatiana said, suddenly very gentle. “You love her,” when she tried to touch him again, he shoved her away, still snarling and sputtering in stunned horror at what she was asking them.

“You want her?” Tatiana asked again, eyes darting between them. She looked at Lucy, expression softening while she reached out, lightly wiping away the tears that had started silently streaming down her cheeks.

The hole in her heart, where Grace has been, had never felt so open. Like it had been covered over only by a thin scab, and Tatiana’s words had ripped it right off, exposing the unhealed, bleeding wound to the world. She balled her hands into little fists, clutched them at her chest, the material of her shirt crinkling between her fingers while her elbows drew in tight. As if she could hold herself together.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Tommy growled, suddenly shoving between them. Tatiana rounded on him, grabbing his face in her hands. Lucy tried hastily to wipe away at the tears still sliding down her cheeks.

“You want her?” Tatiana repeated, half taunting, half compassionate.

“Stop,” Lucy begged. Tommy shoved Tatiana’s hands away, seizing her face, still cursing quietly at her. But Lucy noticed something in the way his chest heaved, features shifting and contracting. He was fighting hard not to cry.

“Stop it. Stop,” she tried again, this time attempting to shove her way between them, half worried they were about to come to blows. But rather than break them apart she instead wound up entangled in their twisted limbs, a hand grappled on each of them. Tommy fought against Tatiana for only a moment more, his attempts half hearted before his face crumpled

“What are you fucking saying? What the fuck…”

A hoarse sob heaved from his chest. Lucy felt her features mirror his, like what last little strength she’d had relied on him, and as soon as he broke, her last bit of composure crumbled away.

He dropped his forehead to rest on Tatiana’s chest. Lucy half collapsed into him, arm clinging to his shoulders while the other bunched in the delicate fabric at Tatiana’s back. Tatiana wrapped her arms around both of them with shocking, uncharacteristic tenderness, gently guiding the three of them to kneel on the floor. Lucy sobbed, burying her face in the crook of Tommy’s neck. His arm was around her, squeezing so tight it made it a little hard to breathe.

The three of them knelt there, Tommy and Lucy crying softly into each other and the fine red material of Tatiana’s dress. She said nothing as she held them, the only sound in the room was their sobs and the crackles and pops from the fire.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. Grace should have been the one holding them. But if Lucy closed her eyes, she could almost pretend…

Guilt over that made her feel so sick for a moment she thought she would actually vomit.

Instead she burrowed herself deeper into Tommy’s neck, as if he could somehow protect her from the guilt and pain thrashing through her.

Never coming back. She’s never coming back. We’re alone. And it’s all our fault, and it hurts. It hurts. Will it ever stop hurting? No, I don’t think it will, oh God…

She whimpered, trembling lips pressing together. Tatiana petted her hair gingerly.

It’s never going to stop. Never going to get better. She’s gone, so what’s the point? All there is left to do is keep digging, down, down, down. But it’s so dark and I’m so tired and I think I want to stop now but I don’t know how. What do I do if I don’t do this? It's all I know anymore. Are we even alive, or did they bury us with her? Are we back under the ground? I’m starting to think we never were up above it to begin with. Please, please, someone pull me up; I can’t breathe down here anymore–

Her tears had ceased, but she was still shaking, her mind slipping further and further down the dark tunnel it had fallen into. She was gripping Tommy so tightly it was a wonder he didn’t seem to be in pain over it.

He was all she had left, now. Her anchor. Her only companion in the cold darkness under the ground.

“You want her tonight?” Tatiana’s voice broke through the darkness, and Lucy opened the eyes she hadn’t even realized she’d closed, blinking and squinting against the light despite the dimness of the room.

Tatiana pulled back, rising to her feet. Her eyes glimmered, and Lucy was taken by the sudden softness in her face when she cupped their faces. “Watch…” she started to push off her dress, letting it slide down her body to crumple in a puddle of red on the floor. Like a pool of blood at her feet. She was telling them about a priest she knew. “He would put his hands here,” she rested a hand each on their throats. Lucy fought the sudden desire to flinch away, the tickle of Tatiana’s cool fingers on her throat bringing with it a surge of anxiousness and bad memories. But Tatiana released her quickly, passing a hand carefully along her red curls.

“I will do him first, then you. Touch yourself while you watch, little one,” she proclaimed, voice still soft. “Like you would have with her.”

Wetting her lips, Lucy glanced at Tommy, nervous as Tatiana rested her second hand on his throat. He didn’t even flinch, and at Lucy’s questioning look he gave a practically indiscernible nod, to let her know he was alright with it.

Leaning back, she began to slowly unbutton her waistcoat, biting her lip while watching Tommy slide his hands up Tatiana’s thighs. Tatiana inhaled sharply, then moaned when he leaned in to press a kiss to her mound. She was still speaking, but it was just noise as far as Lucy was concerned, hastily pushing her waistcoat aside and setting to work tugging at the buttons on her shirt layered underneath, suddenly rather jealous of Tatiana’s dress and how easily she was rid of it. Her thighs clenched together as she opened her shirt only halfway before sneaking a hand in to slide beneath her bra and pinch her nipple. The other fumbled with her belt, huffing in moderate frustration when she had to abandon her breast in order to undo both it and the fastenings of her trousers. Kicking them and her knickers off, she stretched out on the expensive, plush rugs, in just her half unbuttoned shirt, fingers trailing delicately through her moistening folds.

Tatiana shoved Tommy down onto the rug beside Lucy, her movements almost violent, hands locked around Tommy’s throat and starting to squeeze. She let go of his throat with one hand for just a split second to guide him inside of her, and Tommy made a gasping sound, both hands latching tightly onto Tatiana’s thighs as she sunk down on him, replacing her second hand back onto his throat the second she was fully seated.

Lucy tensed at the sound of him gasping and grunting, prepared to leap into action should Tatiana go too far. If Tommy’s face started turning blue or he lost consciousness, she’d shove her off of him.

But he seemed to be quite enjoying himself, moaning lowly as Tatiana started to ride him vigorously, so she allowed herself to relax, fingers circling her clit and dipping tentatively into her as she watched them.

Tommy’s face changed as Tatiana fucked him, eyes unfocused, not staring at anything in the room. His hands wandered up from her thighs to wrap around her neck, and Tatiana moaned, eyes closing as he started to lightly choke her back.

Lucy watched in deep fascination as Tommy’s expression grew more enraptured; sorrow, desire, and adoration all mixing together in his still unfocused eyes.

“Grace,” when he said the name Lucy had to bite down on her tongue to wrestle down a sob, feeling the agony of loss burning in her chest at just her name alone.

Tommy’s head tilted back, pushing hard into the carpet while his hips continued to buck upwards, meeting Tatiana’s every movement. Lucy had given up on touching herself, instead just watching them, intrigued, with one hand loosely cupping her breast. Her thighs still squeezed together, though, in response to the erotic sight spread out beside her. The spark of pleasure helping only a little to distract herself from the aching empty space that had opened up inside her heart since the night of the charity dinner. Tommy grunted, his eyes bulging slightly, a sound almost like a sob reverberating from his throat.

He came fast, with a cry, hips jerking. Spasming upwards when at the same time Tatiana pulled her hands from his throat, as if still half chasing the sensation of them squeezing his neck even as he gasped and coughed for air, fumbling to loosen the fabric at his collar. Tatiana rolled off of him, reaching for a bottle of liquor near the fireplace. But when she offered it, Tommy tossed the bottle away, chest heaving and eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Tatiana giggled, delighted, and snuggled into his side, rubbing his chest. Tommy dropped an arm loosely to wrap around her shoulders. The look on his face told Lucy that he still wasn’t entirely there; half lost in the memories of whatever it was that he’d seen while Tatiana was choking him.

She inched closer to them across the carpet, and Tatiana raised her head from where she’d rested it on Tommy’s chest, dark eyes sparkling with wicked glee. She sat up, slinking her way across Tommy to kneel in front of her, but Lucy was not focusing on the Russian, instead reaching out to tentatively brush her hand across Tommy’s chest. Lashes fluttering, he pulled his gaze from the ceiling to look at her lazily, large, warm hand covering hers where it rested on him.

Her lips parted, half wanting to ask him what he had seen, even though she already knew.

She jumped when Tatiana’s cold hands locked around her throat, starting to squeeze without preamble.

“No–!” she yanked her head away, panic suddenly seizing her. It was too much like it had been in the alley, her attackers doing just about anything they could think of to hurt her; squeezing her throat so hard she thought they might crush her windpipe, while others carved into her skin with their pocket knives, filthy hands groping at her all the while.

Tatiana loosened her grip, frowning at the reaction.

“Let her go,” Tommy ordered, suddenly there and crowding Tatiana away from her. She let go of Lucy’s neck, and her lungs burned as they expanded again with a rush of oxygen, her breaths shaky as she breathed in deeply to try to calm herself. Tommy stroked her cheek. “It’s okay. You don’t have to try.”

She bit her lip, remembering the look that had crossed his face while Tatiana had choked him.

“Did you really see her?” she asked, voice so quiet it was a wonder that he heard her at all. Tommy nodded. A strangled sound left Lucy’s throat. “I want to…I want to try.”

He cocked his head, considering, and then an idea lit up behind his blue irises. “Come here, then,” he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her forward and into him, until she was in his lap. He kissed her once, thumbs stroking her cheeks, and then pulled back until he was laying down on the carpet. She closed her eyes, nuzzling at his palm while he stroked it along her face, trailing down her cheek, cupping her jaw, and then falling lower to wrap loosely around her throat.

Her eyes opened, staring down at him. He wasn’t putting any pressure on her, just gently resting his hand there. She swallowed around it. The hand not on her neck curled around her hip, the fingers on her throat flexing, thumb stroking the sensitive skin. Lucy stared down, into his shrewd, questioning eyes, and gave a small nod.

“Not too hard,” she warned hastily, when his fingers tightened a tiny fraction.

The hand on her hip moved to her right wrist, guiding it to rest on the forearm of the hand still holding her throat.

“You pinch me if you need to stop.”

She nodded against his hand, relaxing at the knowledge that she had an easy out if she needed it. With the hand not around her throat, he adjusted her in his lap, reawoken and hardening cock throbbing and twitching against her thigh. She rolled her hips downwards, rubbing against him and encouraging him to swell further. He let out a soft hissing sound from between his teeth at the contact. There was rustling behind her, and a moment later Tatiana’s warm chest pressed up against her back, naked breasts tickling her shoulder blades.

Her throat constricted, and not because of the large hand locked around it. The position so easily reminded her of the ones they would often partake in with Grace.

Tatiana’s lips burned as they peppered across Lucy’s shoulder, hands smoothing down her chest to cup her breast, thumb running teasingly along her nipple before moving lower, until she was taking Tommy, fully hard now, in her fist, giving him a few pumps before guiding him to Lucy’s entrance.

As she lowered herself down onto him, Tommy began very slowly to tighten his fingers at the sides of her throat, the tiniest bit of pressure making her shudder. His hand was big and warm, thumb still tenderly petting her skin. Lucy sighed blissfully once he was fully seated inside her, head tipping back while her eyes closed. Tatiana was sucking a mark into her shoulder, fingers busy undoing the remaining closed buttons on Lucy’s shirt, letting it fall open so that she could gingerly trace her fingertips across the scars marring her torso.

With a hand still holding onto Tommy’s forearm and the other braced on his chest, Lucy started to ride him slowly, sighing softly at the deep stretch of him as she bounced steadily up and down his thick cock.

His hand was still applying a slight pressure to her throat. Not enough to cut off airflow; but just enough to let her properly feel the pressure. Her eyelids fluttered. The feeling of it was nice, but when her eyes darted to the dark corners of the room, she saw nothing but shadows. No Grace.

“You’re being too gentle with her,” Tatiana said, craning her head around to examine Tommy’s hand on Lucy’s throat. “If you don’t cut off the oxygen even a little she’s not going to see anything,” she reached up, moving to rest her hand atop Tommy’s on Lucy’s neck, and Lucy tightened her fingers where she was still clinging to his forearm in slight alarm. “You need to squeeze like this–”

“Don’t,” Tommy growled, and Tatiana retracted her hand hastily. Even she seemed to understand the consequences would be dire should she push things too far when it came to Lucy. “I know what I’m doing.”

A shiver ran down Lucy’s spine at the way he said it; voice an octave lower and all growly. His eyes snapped back to her, brow raising as he undoubtedly felt her tighten unconsciously around him. Sitting up and pulling her closer, he ran his nose along her cheek, kissing at her temple while his hips resumed pumping in and out of her. She relaxed her hand against his forearm, head tipping back with her moans and to let him kiss the underside of her jaw.

Gradually, so slowly she didn’t even really notice it at first, his hand started to squeeze tighter, the pressure on the sides of her throat gradually increasing.

Her chest heaved, breathing becoming more labored, and not from the physical exertion of their movements. He still wasn’t fully cutting off her oxygen, only impeding it enough to make her lungs burn a little. Her head swam, the room spinning hypnotically. And then he squeezed his fingers just a little more, and she gasped, still able to breathe, but only in tiny little gasps. The hand not occupied with her throat stroked along her side, coming to rest just under her breast, and she realized after a moment that he was feeling the expanding of her ribs beneath her skin, monitoring her breathing to ensure she was alright.

For a second, tears caught at the back of her eyes. There really was no safer place in the world for her to be than in Tommy’s arms.

He’d dropped his face to her chest, burying it between her breasts before busying himself with sucking on one of her hardened nipples. Butterfly-light kisses peppered the entire expanse of her shoulder, from her bicep to the crook of her neck, and when she turned her gaze to the source, she was not met with the dark hair and wicked, gleeful eyes of Tatiana.

The eyes that were staring back at her were blue as the sky, and sorrowful as a widow at her husband’s wake.

Grace smiled at her, the same sad, wistful smile she’d given her the handful of times she’d appeared; standing in dark corners, perched on a windowsill, seated at one of the empty chairs at a table. Always watching them with that mournful look of longing. When she brushed the back of her hand along Lucy’s cheek, her touch was cold but delicate, and when she kissed her, she tasted like Grace always had: sweet as strawberries or peaches, but cut with something stronger and sharp, like gin, and holding just the slightest smokiness of cigarettes.

A sob spasmed in Lucy’s chest, lips parting to her lover’s to deepen the kiss. And then it was just it had always been: Tommy at her front, fucking her deep and gentle with his cock, and Grace at her back, legs on either side of her, kissing her sweetly while her cool fingers cupped her breasts and traced over her scars, working their way down until they circled firmly around her clit.

Had she not been impeded by the limited oxygen currently available to her lungs, she would have cried out. But instead all she managed was a strangled, whimpering noise, walls fluttering and clamping down hard. Distantly, she heard Tommy let out a low grunt at the action, the pace of his thrusts picking up slightly. The sensation of his cock throbbing inside of her only adding to the dizzying pleasure addling her brain.

Grace didn’t say a word as she continued to stimulate Lucy’s clit, still pressing soft kisses to her cheeks and neck, briefly caressing her lips across Tommy’s knuckles where his hand was still locked tight around Lucy’s throat, then back to the spot where her shoulder met neck, sucking a tender love bite into the sensitive flesh.

Her orgasm swelled up inside of her like a tide, breaking forth with a sudden rush that soaked Tommy’s cock while she tightened around him, body tensing with the force of it. Black spots appeared in her vision, and it was all too much that she had to squeeze her eyes shut, even as her head tilted to still nudge against Grace’s.

Pressed up against her, Tommy groaned low in his throat, rolling his hips languidly, helping to prolong her orgasm for as long as he could. As it started to ebb, she slowly, tentatively opened her eyes. Grace was still there, head nestled against her shoulder, watching them fondly. When she spotted Lucy looking at her, she smiled, not as sad as the one she’d given her before, and tilted her head up to kiss her chastely on the lips.

Closing her eyes and leaning into the kiss, Lucy could feel it as Tommy gradually began to relax his grip on her throat, more and more oxygen filling her lungs. She felt the lips that were pressed to hers pull back, and she fought back the sudden desire to cry. To beg her not to leave.

She knew that when she opened her eyes, there would be no one there.

Tommy’s hand finally fully loosened, hand flattening in a gentle caress down her throat, smoothing in a descent to her chest, sliding between her breasts and finally finding a new home on her thigh.

He’d stopped moving at some point, though she could plainly feel that he was still hard and throbbing inside of her. Eyes peeling open slowly, she was greeted with his bright blue orbs, practically glowing thanks to the reflection from the fire, staring back at her. She cupped his face tentatively, resting her forehead against his while they basked for a moment in their shared sorrow and wonderment over this new possibility Tatiana had unlocked for them. His nose just barely knocked against hers, and with a slight tilt of her head, she kissed him, arms sliding around his strong shoulders, gripping tight as she began slowly to rise up and down on his cock, swallowing the moan he released.

She was distantly aware of Tatiana still at her back, her hands and lips sliding over them both, but she paid her little attention, instead entirely focused on Tommy. Looping her legs around his waist, she sighed into his pillowy-soft lips as they kissed over and over again, his big hands caressing and holding her like she was made of China, so gentle it almost made her want to cry.

Her second orgasm snuck up on her practically out of nowhere, too engrossed with the warmth and comfort of being so close to Tommy to be aware of it until it was upon her. They weren’t kissing anymore so much as just breathing into one another, lips parted as they gasped. Tommy made a small, pleased noise in the back of his throat when he felt her start to come around him, strong arms pulling her by some miracle even closer, mouth slanting across hers in a desperate kiss, hips still rolling up into her. Arms wrapping around his shoulders, she hugged him to her, suddenly overtaken by the deep need to hold him tight and never let him go.

Tommy moaned, quiet and low into her mouth, his hands tightening where they rested at her waist, and then he was coming too, pushing in all the way and staying there as he emptied himself into her. Lucy hummed at the familiar feeling of his warm seed releasing inside her, and when they finally broke from their kiss, it was to embrace, heads nestling into each other’s shoulders, chests heaving against one another as they shuddered with the final waves of their shared pleasure.

Closing her eyes, Lucy allowed herself to relax fully against him, sinking into the depths of his arms with her head still nuzzled into his shoulder. He petted her back, pressing kisses into her hair.

“You see?” Tatiana’s voice sounded very far away. “There are still ways for you to have what you want most,” and then she was laughing; a mad, crackling sound, as she pulled away from them, standing to scoop up her dress and pull it back on. Her red lips were stretched wide with her grin, crooning something about vodka and cakes in one of the drawing rooms. Her dark eyes glittered, dancing with madness and wisdom in equal measure. She did not seem perturbed when neither of them acknowledged her, just chuckling from someplace low in her chest. “When you both are able to stand, you will come join me, yes?” she didn’t wait for a response, just readjusting the collar of her dress and patting at her hair before flashing them one final grin and sweeping from the room, the door closing behind her with a quiet click.

Tommy exhaled slowly. Shifting in his arms, Lucy lifted gingerly off of him, wincing a little at the overstimulation as his softening cock slid from her still sensitive cunt. Arm looped around her, he guided her to lay down with him as he reclined with a soft groan back onto the rug with her tucked safely into his side, head resting on his chest.

Neither of them said anything for a long time, just listening to the quiet crackles and pops from the fire as it slowly died, the room growing darker and darker with each passing minute. Outside the closed door, Lucy could very distantly make out the sounds of moans and skin slapping skin where the orgy was still in full swing.

She was not really there, though. Her mind was faraway, locked in memories of the things she’d seen when Tommy’s hand had been wrapped around her throat. The way Grace had kissed her. The distant scent of her perfume, the coolness of her hands as they ran across Lucy’s skin…

Warmth from Tommy’s fingers, swiping gingerly at her cheek where she realized a tear had escaped, drew her attention from her own melancholic thoughts. Craning her head up to look at him, her eyelids fluttered at the gentle brush of the back of his hand along her cheek, cozying in closer to his chest. He was studying her face shrewdly, as if he’d known exactly what she was thinking. His gaze flitted down, to focus on her neck, and his brow pinched, fingertips delicately touching her throat.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?”

She had to bite back a bewildered laugh at the question. As if he was ever anything but sweet and careful with her.

“No,” she shook her head, angling her face down to catch his palm in a nuzzle and press a few kisses to the tips of his fingers. “Not too rough.”

He gave her a tiny smile, cupping her chin to angle her face up so he could kiss her. The brush of his lips was soft, still being incredibly gentle with her as he cradled her face, thumb stroking her cheek even after they parted. With a sigh, she dropped her face into his neck, arms draped over his chest.

“It’s so hard,” she murmured miserably after another stretch of silence. The fire had died out almost completely, little more than a pile of smoldering ash and fading embers. Most of the candles had burned down to nothing, leaving them in almost complete darkness. It was hard to say what time it was. “I miss her so much.”

Tommy rubbed her back. “I know. I miss her too.”

“Do you…” she stuttered, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “Do you think it’ll ever get easier?”

She had hoped, with time, that perhaps the worst of the pain and guilt over Grace’s death would scar over. Not go away, necessarily. She knew better than to ever expect that. But to at least become less potent. Less capable of leaving her with tears building behind her eyes at every memory of her dead lover. At the very least she ought to be able to hear the uttering of her name without feeling as though the sound of it would cause her to shatter, shouldn’t she?

But that had not happened at all. The pain was still there, haunting in the back of her mind, waiting for something–be it a memory or a simple glance at an old photograph–to reawaken the howling agony within her chest. She was beginning to think that it would never stop hurting.

Tommy was quiet for a long moment, still tracing patterns absentmindedly into her back. “I don’t know,” he said, finally. “I think…we’ll learn to live with it.”

She nodded, eyes closing at his lips brushing the top of her head. She really didn’t know what she would do without him. The grief was terrible enough as is; she didn’t think she would have survived had she been forced to go through it alone.

“Our business here is almost done.”

“Yes. Almost.”

She stretched out her limbs, wincing at the slight stiffness already beginning to settle in them. A reminder that she wasn’t in her twenties anymore. “We should probably get up.”

“Yeah.”

But when she made a move to sit up, he stopped her with a hand on the back of her waist, the other cupping her cheek and drawing her in for another kiss.

“I love you,” he murmured, once they’d pulled away. Lucy smiled softly.

“I love you too.”

His thumb gave her cheek one last stroke before he let her go, grimacing as he sat up, stretching out his muscles. Lucy bit her lip as she watched him drag himself to his feet, towering over her.

It was a very nice angle to look at him from.

He looked down at her, brow raised, a small snort leaving him when she held her hands out to him in silent demand. Grasping both of them firmly, he helped pull her to her feet with one strong flex of muscle, and she had to stifle a gasp when she collided into his chest.

They set to work pulling on and readjusting their clothes, giving each other a once over to make sure everything looked as it should. Tommy smoothed a hand over her hair, trying in vain to tame her messy curls, then reached down, taking her hand tightly in his. Suddenly feeling very tired, Lucy tipped forward, until her head was resting on the center of his chest, closing her eyes. Tommy caressed the back of her head.

“Ready?”

She dragged in a deep, ragged breath, and nodded, opening her eyes and leaning back.

He pecked her forehead, squeezed her hand, and together they headed towards the door.

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