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zozo-01 · 1 year

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And The Sunlight That Divides Them

After a extensive conversation in the Discord [brought to you by @sri-rachaa and @gingerbreadmonsters] got me thinking about an old idea of a conversation between Alexis and Darlin'. And then @autisticempathydaemon and @cascadiiing decided to add more fuel to that fire, so here we are!!!

[Also tagging @beemybella, @epsi-l0n, @daveyistheloml and @teasandcardigans because they are both gems and I adore them and Mads is the biggest Alexis fan I know!!! Plus, tagging the ever talented and lovely @spookybeandoodle for setting me off on this Alexis/Darlin' journey monthsss ago!!!]

CW: This is me writing about Alexis in a somewhat positive light, so if you're expecting bitchy Alexis (let's be honest, I can't blame you), this is not the fic you wanna read, that outta way, Suicide Attempt, talking about the events of Sam's turning, Darlin' bringing up their own past with Quinn

click here for the ao3 link!!!

Perhaps this was the greatest benefit of being a vampire.

The ability to choose to end your life.

A vampire does not age. They do not fall victim to mortal sickness and there aren’t natural predators that can efficiently hunt them. Should a vampire decide they had enough, that they have lived a fulfilling life, they can end their second lease on life. They can choose to live for a thousand years, or for a day in their new lives, but should they decide to move on, they can walk gracefully to the shore between life and death.

After 40 years, Alexis Solaire had decided she had enough.

She stared at the shadow's edge, looking at the light-filled kingdom she was banned from. How long had it been since she felt the warmth of… anything, let alone the sun’s warm rays? She longed for it, for the glow of the sunset reflecting her eyes, or the warm summer breeze. But alas, her choice had relegated her to the darkness, the only light in her life was the moon reflecting the sunshine.

There… there had been a time when she felt warm. When she was sharing a bed with a certain freelancer. He made her blood sing with every kiss and bruise he left behind. Those gestures had meant nothing to him, but for her? They were everything. He was proof that she wasn’t a hellion, a wildfire ready to burn anything to the ground. That she could feel love, true, authentic and heart-wrenching love.

It was a shame that no person could change her nature and that he was caught in her flames.

She shook her head. That relationship, him, was long ago. He even was moving on.

With a mate, no less.

She thought of the wolf that had walked into the Solaire Clan meeting. A snide remark was on the tip of her tongue, a comment about how pups shouldn’t be around such dangerous creatures, but the words lodged themselves in her throat. She noticed the soft, love-filled smile he gave them.

The same smile she would give Sam behind his back.

Of course in her dying thoughts, she was thinking about him. How could she not? She was the greatest mistake of his life, and she has to live with that guilt.

Well… Assuming she had to live longer…

Like a bride walking down the aisle, she walked toward the sunlight. With every step, she thought of how the people in her life would react to the news of her death, if they even cared at all.

Out of everyone, William would be the most upset. He was her maker, the reason for her second life, and here she was throwing it away. Would William invoke her to stop her from dying? A selfish part of her wanted to say that yes, William would defy her will to die to keep her here as an act of love. That she too was justified in saving Sam, even if he didn't want to be.

But no, William would never do that. He was too good for that. Instead, he’d hug her, tell her how much she means to him and let her walk to her doom.

Another step was taken and another name appeared in her mind.

Vincent? Would he miss her? She really couldn’t tell you. Some days they were bantering as if they were siblings. She was the older sister with a bad attitude and he was the little shit younger brother. On other days, they were at each other’s throats, fangs cutting the other’s skin and words cutting deeper wounds in their hearts. She let out a sigh. If Vincent misses her, it’s because of all the new responsibility he'd gain as the older progeny.

Yet again, Sam's name crossed her mind and made her stop midstep. Sam would never miss her. In fact, he’d throw the biggest celebration ever with his mate. She can picture his lovely, happy face aimed at them.

But he was happy and that's what she wants. She may not love him the same way, but she wants him happy.

God knows it’s the bare minimum he deserves from her for taking everything away.

She continued walking to her doom. With every step, she can feel the sun’s burn on her skin. It felt amazing to feel the sun’s warmth again.

As she neared the edge, she approached with a singular thought in her head.

‘Goodbye world, may you be less cruel now that I’m not in it.’

Alexis Solaire was dead.

“Hey! Watch out, there’s sunlight here!”

Or that’s what would have happened had a giant wolf not tackled her to the ground.

Instead of burning in the sun, she quickly changed course and accepted that her death would be at the hands of a shifter. Of course, what was she thinking? That she deserved to feel the sun’s warmth after everything she’s done? After taking away Sam’s ability to bask in its glow? Being mauled by a shifter is the only way her story can end. Bloody and painful, and with no one being able to recognize her.

The wolf shifted back into their human form and familiar stubborn-glint eyes looked down upon her.

How fucking poetic was it that Sam’s mate, his Darlin’, would be the one to send her to her second grave. This had to be the universe playing a cruel joke on her. You couldn’t make this up.

But… where was the pain? Why weren’t they mauling her? Were they feeding off their misery? Using it to power them to rip her till she’s unrecognizable?

Just end her pathetic life… please… if there was a mercy the universe can grant her, let it be to have this be her final memory.

“And they fucking call me reckless! Seriously, what self-respecting vampire walks into the sun? Didn't they teach you that shit in vampire school?” The shifter paused to ponder. “Are there even vampire schools?” There was no way her grim reaper in wolf fur was asking her about vampire schools. Where had they even gotten the idea they exist?

The only thing Alexis could do in her shock-filled state was answer truthfully.

“I- No, there aren’t vampire schools for newborns.” Is this a dream? Had she already died and this was… hell? She can reasonably accept that seeing the partner of the man she loved so much after she dies means that she’s in hell. Wait, is Sam’s mate a secret deathwalker? It’s the only explanation that she could fathom for why they of all people were here in her final moments.

The shifter chuckled and scoffed at her answer. “Maybe they should start,” they said while getting up off her. They held out their arm, a strange gesture Alexis was not used to. A gesture of pure kindness. “Tell you what, one of us can bring it up at the next meeting, yea?”

A second passed. They would understand she didn’t deserve their help. Maybe the sun was in their eye? They couldn’t see whom they saved. Yes, that had to be what happened. There was no way Sam’s mate would save her if they knew who she was.

A minute passed. Ok, this was getting weird. The shifter hadn’t moved an inch, their hand still offering to help her up. You could say that it's a sad fact that Alexis isn’t used to receiving anything devoid of any mal intentions, but in her defence, she is Alexis Solaire. She is no stranger to roses. The offerings may seem beautiful, but there were always thorns to be considered.

Perhaps you can call it a tragedy that the extended arm was the first time Alexis was offered a thornless rose.

“We don’t got all day and I gotta get home before a certain someone starts calling.” Their sharp features became soft and their eyes lightened at the mention of this other person. A lifetime ago, it was she who became gentle at the thought of him.

Does the wolf know how lucky they are to be allowed to think of Sam lovingly? To not hide their affection for the man? To outwardly express their love for him?

Do they know that Alexis of the past would kill to be in their place?

She already tried that, to kill for Sam’s love. You already know how that story ends.

She placed her hand in the wolf’s hand. Her tight grip is light enough to remove immediately, a show of her fear of their ulterior motives. Again, could you blame her? She is and forever will be the helion of the Solaire Clan. There were countless who want her dead, and she was sure that his Darlin’ wishes for her death for revenge.

She couldn’t exactly blame them. A life for a life and all that.

She shook the dirt and dust off her clothing. Clearing her throat, she asked the wolf in front of her a question she desperately needs the answer to.

“Do you know who I am?”

They furrowed their eyebrows and blink repeatedly. They seem to contemplate the question. From their face, you’d assume that Alexis spoke in a language foreign to them. Such a simple question should not cause them such confusion. Did she say something wrong? Had she fuck up a potential relationship with the one person who didn’t hate her immediately?

Typical Alexis to burn bridges before they can be built.

The wolf scoffed. “I’d be an idiot if I didn’t know who you are. You’re Alexis Solaire.”

So the wolf did know who she was? This… made things more complicated.

For who in their right mind would save a damned soul like hers?

“... You… you know who I am… and you still saved me?” Alexis tilted her head in confusion. There had to be a mistake. She needed to make absolutely sure that this wolf didn’t mistake her for someone else.

“Uh, of course? Did you expect to watch you walk into the sun?”

Maybe Alexis can be a little naive. Just for this moment. Maybe she can pretend that the wolf saved her, despite all logic saying otherwise.

For so long, Alexis longed for love. To be someone’s world.

Now? Alexis just wants a friend. Maybe they can be that…

No, she couldn’t do that to Sam. It’s cruel of her to take advantage of their ignorance. She hurt their lover, and she shouldn’t even be talking to them. She just has to figure out if Sam had told them the events of his turning without giving everything away. That was his story to tell, and for as much as she has taken from him, she will never take away his chance to tell his story.

“Well… if everything is done here, I should probably be back and,” they held her arm before continuing, “if you ever think about doing something stupid like that again, I’m sure William would be willing to listen. I mean, personally, I like talking to him because he has that calming voice.” They mumbled under their breath, something about it being a miracle they found a french accent soothing. Alexis would have to ask about that later, assuming later would ever happen.

The wolf turned and began to walk away. Closer and closer to the forbidden kingdom that she was banned from.

In an impulsive act, Alexis yelled out, “wait! Can I talk to you?”

The wolf stopped in their tracks and walked back towards the vampire princess. “You? Want to talk with me?” Confusion laced their town and shock was on their face. She can hear the thoughts running through their head. ‘What the hell does a vamp princess like her want to do with me?’

Alexis opened her mouth, but no words came out. Perhaps she was a bit in over her head, and maybe she should have written a script or some bullshit like that, but you know what? She is Alexis Goddamn Solaire. And she will speak her mind.

“Um- What Sam might have told you about me… I don’t know if he’s told you, but I just want to let you know-”

The wolf cut her off, and the warmth in their voice gave away to cold steel.

“Sam told me everything about that night.”

Oh. So they know about that night. And she just reminded them of her greatest mistake.

Well, there goes that. The one singular person whom she thought she could befriend knows about her worst night ever. And if they were willing to overlook that when they saved her, they certainly won’t now that she brought it up with her own mouth.

Dear, Sweet Alexis. Always burning bridges before they could be built.

“You knew all that, and you still saved me?” If all the deities in human history could spare kindness, it would be an answer to this question.

The wolf scoffed. “You know I hate saying the same thing over and over again, so I’ll say this one last time. I saved you because I saw you walking into the sun like you wanted a damn tan.” They crossed their arms, shifting their weight to their right leg. “Is there anything else you want from me?”

Alexis stuttered. It is always a bad situation when Alexis is stuttering. It meant she wasn’t prepared for an outcome, and Alexis always came prepared.

“I’m sorry- it’s just… it’s just that- I never thought you of all people would save me since I… I turned…” She fidgeted with the rings on her hands. “Besides it will be better for everyone, especially him, he probably wants me dead-” Once again the wolf granted her mercy by cutting her off.

“Look, whatever history you and Sam have with each other is between you two. I heard what you did to him, but it ain’t my business to inflict pain on you because of that.” Their steady voice went quiet and they looked at the ground. “And… don’t say it’ll be better if you’re dead. There are people who care for you and want you alive.”

There was nothing Alexis could do but laugh. At the absurd reality that she resides in a reality where the mate of the man whom she forcibly turned was telling her to stay alive. Between her dry laughs, she said, “I’m sorry, it’s just, I find it hard to believe that anyone would want me alive, especially Sam. Why would he or you or anyone care for a bitch like me?”

Once again, the sharp features of the wolf softened and their voice became comforting. “I don’t think Sam would care, whether you were alive or dead. It doesn’t matter, as long as you are out of his life, he’s content.”

“But just because he doesn’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t as well.”

With one single line, Alexis’s view of herself shattered.

She had thought- no, she knew that she was beyond help, beyond saving. She was content with burning herself alive if it meant she could remain the cold, callous bitch many think of her. Was it the most positive outlook of her? Absolutely not. But ignoring the fact that the perceptions of people are rooted in some fact (no matter how little), this helion version of Alexis keeps her safe.

She was no longer the scared girl trying to escape the unwanted marriage she was destined for. The one who begged William to give her a new life. The one who lay awake while Sam was going through his bloodlust, feeling the vitriol and hatred rightfully directed at her.

No, instead she was Alexis Solaire. Cold-hearted. Uncaring. Untouchable. Safe.

But this wolf, who she was still in shock was still talking to her, was making it hard to maintain her well-earned, yet perhaps not deserved, reputation.

Or maybe, they were teaching her that she could be more than that.

A sad smile bloomed on her face, tears building up in her eyes. Finally, she has met someone whom she can lower her guard around. She could just be her and not what people expected her to be. She couldn’t even do that around Sam. (She doubled back on that last thought. Was the wolf becoming more meaningful to her in the few minutes she has met them than Sam was during their relationship?)

“May I ask you one last question? And whatever your answer may be, please don’t sugar coat it, I need to know your truth.” The wolf furrowed their eyebrows and nodded hesitantly, prompting the princess to continue. “Since you know about that night… Was turning Sam a mistake?”

For a split second, the wolf’s eyes flared with anger. She could imagine that they were ready to unleash their fury over Sam onto her, and she was ready to take it all.

But the shifter had other plans.

Instead of burning Alexis alive like she has been doing to herself for years, they paused and composed themselves. What had made them rethink their answer, she doesn’t know, nor did she feel right asking them. And she was content with never knowing.

(What Alexis hadn’t known was that Darlin’ could see the guilt on her face, fresh as the day of the accident. They know that look and feeling all too well, and resorting to anger would only prove to themselves that they are their worst fear. So they give her the grace they were never granted as a child.)

They bit their lip and answered honestly. “If you’re asking me if I think you were right for turning Sam against his will, I’m sorry, but I can’t justify that.” They clenched their eyes shut, and Alexis thinks that they are holding back their own memories. She wonders who was in those memories, for what monster would dare hurt a kind soul such as theirs.

In any case, there was no need to keep Sam’s mate with her any longer. She waves a hand to dismiss the wolf. “I understand, it was the answer I was expecting anyways.” She turned to walk off like she hadn’t planned for that day to be her last, but the shifter had other plans.

“But I don’t blame you!”

She stopped, the words of the wolf echoing in her head. “But I don’t blame you.” How could they not blame them? She took away his agency from that night. She damned him to be confined to his house when the beautiful sun was out. If there was anyone to blame for that night, it was her.

“You’re wrong, I was the one who fucked it up like I always do! I should be the one to take the fall for my own actions!” She hadn’t realized that her voice had gotten higher, but the shock at the wolf’s kindness was leaving her spiralling.

“What you did that night was terrible, and I hope no one has to ever go through that again. But you were put between a rock and a hard place, and you made the decision that you thought was best.” They sighed and looked up to the sky. “I’m not that dumb to not consider what was going through your head.”

For the first time in a long time, Alexis was stunned and silent. She was expecting claws and teeth and anger to be thrown at her, it’s what she deserves and what she has gotten in the past. But the shifter had done something no one else had ever done for her. They considered her side of the story. Maybe- no, her side of the story wasn't the most important on the night of the accident, but they had still thought about her and what she went through her worst moments.

She wasn’t used to that level of thoughtfulness being granted to her. (Maybe the wolf had earned the nickname darlin’?)

They cleared their throat and continued. “The decision itself was never the moral one,” they said with an air of finality in their voice.

(It was a statement they truly believed with their whole heart. They had been on the wrong side of vampire fangs and thinking about Sam going through that made their heartache. But looking at the vampire princess’s guilty face made them feel uneasy. They could feel the familiar bubbles of sympathy in their soul. Damn their empathetic heart cursing them to quell her guilt, though it is an urge they’ll gladly fulfill.)

With a softer tone, they added, “but if all decisions were made with the “right” morality in mind, the world would be a better place.” Alexis looked puzzled at that statement, so the wolf clarified. “What I mean is… a perfect world cannot exist. Some mistakes must be made and they prove that this reality is real. Besides, who am I to judge you based on your past when I have one as well.”

“The only person who can judge you is the one you hurt from that night, and he has made his feelings clear.”

Didn’t she know that. She’s been feeling his loathe for her for the last thirteen years.

Oddly enough, Alexis had finally felt some closure over that night. Having someone acknowledging that yes she made a mistake, but there was no other option available alleviated some of the burdens. Who would have thought it would be Sam's lover releasing her from her emotional turmoil.

“If you don’t mind me asking a question,” they hesitantly inquired.

Alexis was sure that they were the politest person they have ever met, and she was convinced she doesn’t deserve half of it. She nodded. “Go on.”

“Do you still love Sam?”

“No.” It was an answer that sounded forced and rehearsed, like she was practicing it just for this exact moment, but it didn’t make it any less true. “You learn to let go after constant rejection.”

They tilted their head and furrowed their eyebrows in confusion. “You can tell me to fuck off if this is overstepping, but why hold on to the pain? Why not move on?”

She let out another forced laugh. “Because I’m the villain of this story? And when does the villain ever get the happy ending?” The intense stare of concern from the wolf had Alexis dropping her act again. “Sam was my first, true love. I may not love him anymore, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get over him.”

“Funny enough, I thought the same thing about Quinn.”

Alexis had almost doubled over that. Someone as caring as them? Being in love with Quinn? The thought was revolting, they deserved better than the sadistic vampire, but Alexis found it fitting that their bleeding heart would feel sorrow and care for a monster like him. She could use that same argument with her.

“Yea, I know I was dumb for thinking that, but I deadass thought I was gonna be with him forever.” They sighed. “But that wasn’t how shit went. I was distraught after we broke up and I was the one who ruined it-”

“You’re too good to be hung up over someone like him.” Alexis had cut them off with venom in her voice. “You gave him more love and attention than a monster like him deserves.”

They blinked a couple of times and laughed. “Oh you’re absolutely right he didn’t deserve shit from me. But the fact that I loved him and was able to move on doesn’t change.” They held her hands against their chest. “Alexis Solaire, if I can move on from Quinn, then you can move on from Sam.”

Before Alexis could voice her doubts, the shifter’s phone started ringing, and of course, it was their southern vampire. They picked up the phone and greeted him with a “hi baby.” How adorably cheesy and sweet, yet absolutely fitting for them.

She makes sure she doesn’t listen to their phone call, if only to respect Sam’s privacy. She made a hundred percent sure that Sam didn’t know she was there. What he didn’t know, didn’t kill them.

Hanging up, the wolf turned to Alexis with a rueful smile. “I’m sorry, but Sam wants me back and I know if I don’t show up soon, he’s gonna rip the forest apart trying to find me.” They fondly chuckle at Sam’s potential reaction. “Don’t let the past drag you down Alexis, and once you do that, you’ll be able to live again. Don’t pass through your own life like you’re a ghost.”

She nodded, eyes once again filling up with tears at the thought of someone believing in her. “Ok, I’ll try. Thank you, for saving me today.” They did it in more ways than one.

They waved their hand dismissively. “Ahhh, it was nothing! Just doing what any decent person would do!”

“There aren’t many people as kind as you are out there. Do not let this cruel world harden your heart.”

Their eyes widened and turned their head away, flustered at the kind words. “I’ll try. See you around Lexi!” And with that, they shifted into their animal form, a large white wolf, and ran back to the cabin where her progeny resides.

How on earth did a wolf manage to change her outlook on everything in such a short amount of time? Alexis understood why he fell for them. Their energy was addicting, and it nourished her in a way not even the most exquisite blood could.

Alexis had spent the last forty years in cold static, everlasting and never changing, content with having life pass her by. But the wolf had made her feel something she never expected to revel in again. Even the lovestruck days with her unwilling progeny hadn’t brought this sensation back to her.

The wolf’s kindness, their care, their genuine need to help her…

…It felt like sunlight.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted alexis #redacted darlin #remember! if you don't like alexis #you're under no obligations to read or like or reblog this post #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking

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darkangel1791 · 11 months

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Please could everyone post show recommendations for anyone who needs something new to watch during the strike?

Either add to this post, or create your own!

I'm going to limit myself to 3. And these are all shows that had an ending.

1. Shadowhunters. I believe it is showing on Hulu. It originally aired on Freeform. This show is based on a series of books. I saw the show first and then read the books. I would say the characterization deviated somewhat from the books, but it a good way. It aged up some characters, it fleshed some out. The plot deviates greatly from the books.

The premise is that Shadowhunters have angelic blood and they are on the earth to protect mundanes (regular human beings) from demonic monster attacks. They are trained to be warriors from childhood. But there are also Downworlders, who have some demonic blood, but aren't demons: werewolves, vampires and warlocks. Then there are the Seelies, half angel and half demon. They are like the Fae, they have their own world. But they have representatives who walk the earth.

There are a lot of pairings, but I personally am recommending it because of Malec! Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and Alec Lightwood, oldest son of the the family that runs the New York Shadowhunter Institute.

You kind of need to hang in there with this show, it gets better in the second season, and better than that in the third season. It is on Blu ray and dvd.

2. The Untamed. This is a Chinese show. It is based on a book which I have not read, but I understand that in the book, the romantic relationship between the main characters is far more obvious and blatant. But they couldn't go quite that far on Chinese TV. Also, if you do not speak Chinese (I think it is in Mandarin, but I'm not positive) you will have to read subtitles.

The main characters are Wei Wuxian, a charming, mischievous, guy who likes fun and drinking! He is sweet and cute and just a darling. And Lan Wangji, he has been raised to be very serious, there are many rules in the place where he lives and he follows them all. He was raised to be upright, obedient and perfect. He lives in the Cloud Recesses. Others his age are sent there as students to learn philosophy, combat, and such. This is how they meet. And as they grow, they can see through their differences and appreciate each other. And though the series wants it to look as if they love each other only as friends, the actors have great chemistry and you can see through that.

I saw it on YouTube, but I think it is on Amazon Prime right now. It is on Blu ray, but it is a several disc series, there is also a movie called The Untamed, make sure you get the right one.

3. The Sentinel. This is an American series from the 1990s. A police detective, Jim Ellison, finds that his senses are suddenly very acute, annoyingly so. He finds an archaeolgist/cultural anthropologist at the local university who is a TA, working on his doctorate, Blair Sandburg. Blair explains to Jim that he has these senses because ancient cultures had a Sentinel, who would protect the group and and alert them to danger. This is something Blair had studied and what he is doing his doctoral thesis on. He says he can help Jim learn to control his senses, if Jim will allow him to test his senses for his paper. Jim agrees, though Blair is his complete opposite, talks all of the time, long-haired hippie type, into new age sorts of philosophy. Jim is a straight arrow, ex-military, strong, silent type. Blair moves into Jim's place and starts riding along with him when he is at work to help him control his senses.

With the way TV has changed since the 90s, you might feel a bit like you are being queer baited. But nothing homosexual was allowed on mainstream TV yet. But all of the fans saw the slash between the lines.

The Sentinel isn't playing anywhere as far as I know, but it is on DVD. There are 4 seasons, 65 episodes. There are a couple of movies called The Sentinel or Sentinel, so make sure you choose the right one.

Each of these are probably better described on IMDb or somewhere else on the web, but these are my descriptions because these are why I love them.

Next?

#series recs #looking for something new to watch during the strike?#different series to check out

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danielstalter · 2 years

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The Last Vampire 2: Black Blood picks up about six weeks after the events of the first book and brings Alana/Sita to a dangerous neighborhood in Los Angeles. The depictions of Black characters in the opening chapter are very problematic and have not aged well. That said, it was nowhere near as egregious as the depictions in Remember Me 2. Beyond that, I think the book did a good job of expanding the story and raising the stakes from the first book. Sita finds herself newly vulnerable, which was a refreshing change. It also gave us a new villain that could make almost anyone’s skin crawl. I usually like a more nuanced villain, but if you’re gonna go full evil you may as make him a sociopathic scumbag. The book also featured some more explosions and kept the plot moving at a steady pace. I can honestly say I never knew where the story was going to go. That’s always a plus. I liked the addition of the FBI agent Joel as a character, but Ray became a real drag. I almost got the sense that Pike himself lost interest in the very thin love story between Ray and Sita. Overall, I have to say that been liking The Last Vampire books more than I expected to. I’m not the biggest fan of vampires, but The Last Vampire 2 continues Pike’s trend of bringing something fresh to familiar tropes.

Score: 3

My full review with memes, snark, and spoilers can be found here: https://www.danstalter.com/the-last-vampire-2-black-blood/

#last vampire #the last vampire #the last vampire 2 black blood #black blood #last vampire 2 #horror #christopher pike #christopher pike thirst #thirst #books #book review #book photography #vampires #nostalgia #fits of nostalgia #90s #90s kids #point horror #paperbacks from hell

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allnightlongzine · 9 months

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My Chemical Romance Dissolves Its Bond

ANDY GREENWALD | March 25, 2013 | grantland.com

The first time I met Gerard Way was February 2003 in Chicago. I was fleeing a blizzard on the East Coast and profiling the Used, an up-and-coming screamo band from Utah whose singer, the maniacally disheveled Bert McCracken, was in the news for dating, then dumping, Kelly Osbourne. Gerard’s band, My Chemical Romance, was opening for the Used at the time and he and McCracken were well on their way to forming a chemical-based bromance of their own. One night the two kept me in the room with them until dawn as they drained the minibar, sent the concierge out for smokes, and made increasingly frequent trips to the bathroom. (Gerard later told me that bender was the inspiration for a song called “You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison,” which featured the lyric “do you have the keys to the hotel? / ’cause I’m gonna string this motherfucker on fire.”) Onstage, assuming they were able to stumble up to it, the pair were complementary as well: two stringy suburban weirdos peddling punk uplift bruised and blackened with mascara and talk of murder.

There were differences, though, too, and these were key to everything that followed. Flicking boogers and cackling like a banshee, Bert wore fame like a leather jacket. He flashed and strutted, naturally assuming the role of dangerous front man whether he had a mic in his hand or not. Gerard — a scared and sensitive wannabe comic-book artist who formed a band out of either depression or desperation in the wake of 9/11 — wore a leather jacket like a suit of armor. When I interviewed him in Brooklyn, a year later, for the release of what would turn out to be My Chem’s breakthrough album, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, he refused to remove the stinking, sweat-stained garment despite the rising temperatures and the concerned looks of the yuppie clientele surrounding us at the coffee shop. It was what he needed to become a rock star, he said, or at least to not feel like a fraud.

It was his costume, the first of many to follow, and it instantly set him apart from the schlocky flock of adenoidal whiners that flooded the charts — and kept me eating! — during the emo boomlet of the last decade. Where other bands bleated about their breakups, My Chemical Romance snarled. Gerard, his kid brother Mikey, along with guitarists Ray Toro and Frank Iero, refused to wallow in self-serving grief. How could they when they so clearly weren’t “o-fucking-kay”? They were misfits and dungeon masters, drama nerds and otakus. Most of all, they were performers, using light humor and heavy makeup to celebrate the majesty and ridiculousness of first feelings: love, death, the pain of piercings both literal and otherwise. They ganked attitude and artifice from Bowie and Queen, stole moves from the ’70s campfest Phantom of the Paradise, and dueted with Liza Minnelli. In the video for “Helena,” a Catholic funeral explodes into a goth Busby Berkeley review. It wasn’t a sing-along, it was a rallying cry. Plenty of bands had angst. My Chemical Romance had style.

Rock critics have long fallen back on superhero mythology to describe musicians; it’s a handy way to add grandeur to what tend to be fairly rote backstories, bending boring arcs of rehab and redemption into the Hero’s Journey, all in a quest to avoid quoting the drummer. But My Chemical Romance was the first group I covered that actually used that mythology for themselves. Gerard called his band “an idea,” labeled his fans an army. From album to album and show to show, MCR reinvented themselves across a multiverse of possibilities: They were soul-reaving vampires exacting revenge, the ghosts of a marching band returned to serenade you home, a gang of outlaw futurists using lasers and jazz hands to free the world from monochrome mediocrity. They had artistic ambition in a rock era that actively discouraged it, and they pursued it passionately without even a dash of irony. In that, they were just part of a great tradition of hardworking, self-made dreamers to emerge from the swamps of New Jersey, a wallet chain that stretches from Springsteen to Snooki. “We’re all about being the escape artists, throwing the fuckin’ straitjackets on, covering ourselves with chains and having somebody push us in the river. And then trying to get out of that,” a bleached-blond, clean-and-sober Gerard told me in 2006. We were sitting on a balcony overlooking Milan at the time, because the music industry was absurd back then and would fly you to places like that to interview people like him. “I think the world is ready for spectacle, for something big,” he said excitedly. “They’re ready for heroes, for something to believe in.”

Parts of the world were, anyway. The ravenous MCRmy spanned the globe, from Mexico City to Manila, a polyglot, multilingual militia that took solace in the band’s underdog triumphalism — and sometimes even took to the streets. I’ve never witnessed such intense fandom, before or since. Still, the resolutely black-clad supporters seemed skeptical of their beloved band’s slow progression into the light. 2010’s Danger Days was, to my ears, a glorious glitter-bomb of panic and disco, effortlessly mixing Detroit boogie with Weimar cabaret, summertime pop radio with Euroclub stomp. Gerard’s hair was a vibrant red — more Kool-Aid Man than arterial blood — and his new stage style was loose and breezy. The album eked out a platinum plaque, but its reception felt culturally inert, as if My Chemical Romance’s creative maturation had somehow skipped the groove of fight-or-flight survivalism that once grounded their fantastic excess. Gerard truly believed he was saving rock and roll by running around in the desert with a ray gun, but it was doubtful he could save his band from suffocation at the hands of a dying industry or the smothering embrace of fan expectation. He still believed in rock stars, but he also very much believed in Batman.

The last time I saw Gerard Way was in October at a comic-book convention in Las Vegas. His hair was its natural black but his mood was bright. He was in his element, there to celebrate his idol turned pal Scottish surrealist Grant Morrison. The event felt like a coming-out party for everything My Chemical Romance had screamed and bled about; it was a peaceful gathering of light-sensitive weirdos held in the shadows of the most garish place on earth. He and Mikey both talked animatedly about the sessions for their upcoming fifth album, which were well under way. But it did strike me that the larger battle had already finished. Gerard has a successful second career writing comics and movies and a pleasant life in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter. He’s free to doodle and daydream without worrying about the vagaries of record-label drama, the vast machinery required for global touring, or the fragile egos of increasingly far-flung co-conspirators. It turns out Gerard Way was the hero in his own story after all, and, unlike the “Patient” he played in the Black Parade, he wrote himself a happy ending.

He couldn’t quite manage the same for his band. My Chemical Romance announced their breakup on Friday night. They didn’t die in a gunfight or explode with the intensity of a million suns. Instead they just posted a note on their blog and called it a day. There’s talk of intramural squabbling and adultery scandals — feel free to Google; I’ve no interest in spreading the muck — but to me it feels more natural than reactive. What villains were left to face? What demons left to conquer? My Chemical Romance always aimed for the top, but the top no longer exists; all that remains is a vast, niche-y middle. Rock bands don’t want to be big anymore. Hell, if they’re smart they don’t want to be rock bands at all. In that, My Chemical Romance really were “The Kids From Yesterday,” the more or less last song on their more or less best record. “We’ll find you when the sun goes black,” Gerard sang, but I hope it doesn’t take that long for him to reboot. The thing is, I think the music industry needs a skyscraping fabulist like Gerard Way a lot more than he needs the music industry. For now, all I can do is take comfort in the fact that even Batman died once.

#break up #grantland #outside

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oneflydude · 1 year

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MCR are so talented pllsssss I promise. They have such good lyrics and their Inspiration Is gothic literature and they used romeo and juliet as Inspiration for their first 2 albums and their albums all tell stories of love and death and are usually pretty dark(with the exception of danger days). They also have an obsession with vampires and horror films. Also Ray Toro Is a really good guitarist!!! You should listen to three cheers and bullets plsplspslspls plsssss those albums are my favourites (I like the other 2 aswell but man. The first 2 slap) three cheers tells a story through the lyrics which Is really consistent and cool. Also they're just a really cool band I promise, Gerard always creates awesome stories and there's so much I love about this band please I think they are very neat pspspsps

Silly answer: gerard Is obsessed with bats and vampires and comics and Is a very strange and peculiar creature. Frank Is just a feral dog they picked up off of the side of the road, ray Is the most talented guitarist In the past 20 years hes genuinely so talented everytime they play a song live he changes up the riffs and mikey Is a fellow radiohead stan and hes also very strange and girlypop

Please convert to an mcr fan today you get mental Illness and gay twinks In return

u cray cray

#mcr

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theswarmanthology · 2 years

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Ash Reverie, 26, Ireland

"I used to be very active in the fanbase as a teenager. Especially in the community section on their website, which was my save haven as a very troubled teen. They recently took it all down with no warning and I'm honestly devastated to see all my old writing and blog posts gone - it's like losing my diary, and I wish they'd given a heads up so I could have saved it all. But I digress. Once I turned 18, I - for some bizarre reason - got it into my head that *adults* can't engage in fan culture so I basically made myself miserable for a few years before realizing that's ridiculous. But, now I honestly feel pretty lost, and on the outskirts of it."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 9+ years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 2-4 Favorite album: The Black Parade Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: Yes

Which date of the tour did you attend? 05/21/22, Milton Keynes 2

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? January 2020 - most stressful morning of my life.

Did you attend with anyone else? My boyfriend

What did you wear? I wore skeleton fingers gloves I bought when I was 15 and used to wear to school with a pair of skeleton knee high socks I happened to buy the day they got back together. I wore a Revenge t-shirt with "fire at will" from Thank You For The Venom printed on the back and a red plaid skirt.

Where were your seats? Frank's side. Seated at MK. The seats were actually closer to the stage than they looked like they were on Ticketmaster so that makes me feel a little better about the price gouging

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? Famous Last Words. Summertime. You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison. Parade. Helena.

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? I wish they'd played The Kids From Yesterday and Vampires Will Never Hurt You but it is what it is. I knew we would definitely hear Famous Last Words and Helena but was so happy they played Prison and This Is How I Disappear

What was your favorite moment from the show? The crowd singing the bridge of Famous Last Words, just WTTBP in general, and Gerard & Ray being in awe of us lighting our phones up during Summertime

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? Gerard reacting to a cardboard cut out from Parade

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? The Roses t-shirt - I wonder if the reference will become clear soon

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? I mean I cried the whole way through the first 2 songs. I wish I could live in that moment forever.

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? Milton Keynes is a hell hole.

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? It was kinda bittersweet. Best day of my life but I had such bad luck as a kid, I'd never seen them before. So it feels kinda odd getting used to "new" MCR when a part of me feels like we're still supposed to be living in the Danger Days era. It's a me problem.

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? Bring tissues. Bring snacks. You might have to suck it up and drink pit water so you don't faint. Mostly, don't be an asshole. We weren't surrounded by the nicest bunch at the first night in Dublin (but MK was great), so I made sure the kids around me were okay and could actually see the stage - especially since they ended up separated from each other so I felt kinda protective. Most of the fans are lovely - don't let a few assholes put you off. We let another person who had flown in for the show alone hang out with us all day and made sure she got back to her hotel alright. If you're alone, you'll find some good people to hang out with.

Anything we didn't ask that you feel obliged to share or talk about? This band saves lives.

Thanks, Ash! Her TikTok handle is Ash Reverie.

#story #05/21/22 #mcrmk2

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cookieruntips · 3 years

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Wish Festival Quotes!

Hydrangea Cookie: "I wish more Cookies would come make their wishes."

Purple Yam Cookie: "I WANNA FIGHT DARK CHOCO COOKIE!!"

Mala Sauce Cookie: "I wish I can become a strong leader that can protect our village!"

Dark Choco Cookie: "A wish... If things could return to how they were..."

Carrot Cookie: "I wish Bistrot Des Fleurs would get tons of guests!"

Beet Cookie: "I wish we'd have so many guests in the restaurant, there would be no food left at the end of the day!"

Spinach Cookie: "I wish everyone would eat veggies along with their Jellies!"

Cookiemals: "We wanna play more with Wind Archer Cookie!"

Cinnamon Cookie: "...And now I'll guess your wish! Ta-dah... wait, where did my note go!?"

Shining Glitter Cookie: "I wish I could blast down the streets in my Supercar without anyone knowing!"

Butter Pretzel Cookie: "I wish my next piece will become unforgettable..."

Leek Cookie: "I wish I get to fight General Jujube Cookie! Until I win, ha ha!"

Ion Cookie Robot: "Cookie = Wishing. Robot = Also...?"

Timekeeper Cookie: "I wish I get to see all the wishes as they are fulfilled."

Licorice Cookie: "I wish Dark Enchantress Cookie would make me her right-hand Cookie!"

Blueberry Pie Cookie: "I wish I could go back to that time I read that book..."

Popping Candy Cookie: "I wish I get to keep performing for all my fans!"

Sea Fairy Cookie: "I wish I could reach the moon..."

Lilac Cookie: "I wish I could move as freely as my imagination desires..."

Aloe Cookie: "I wish my research will help the world become a better place.

Cream Puff Cookie: "I wish I can become a great wizard!"

Sorbet Shark Cookie: "oOooOOooO!"

Pink Choco Cookie: "I wish that the whole world gets filled with love!"

Hero Cookie: "I wish I could save all Cookies in danger!"

Red Pepper Cookie: "I wish I never fall down, no matter the challenge!"

Pistachio Cookie: "My wish is to complete my divine mission!"

Macaron Cookie: "I wish for a happy parade together with everyone!"

Matcha Cookie: "Hehe... Wishes don't come true, you know..."

Rockstar Cookie: "I wish for rock to never die! ROCK N' ROLL!"

Walnut Cookie: "I wish I get to catch Roguefort Cookie by my own hand!"

Cotton Candy Cookie: "You want to know my wish? That's so sweet of... No, no, no!"

Tiger Lily Cookie: "Purr... Wish... Protect friends..."

Cherry Cookie: "I wish for a giant cherry bomb for everyone! Hehe!"

Popcorn Cookie: "I wish I get to act in a movie someday!"

Sparkling Cookie: "I wish I get to make someone's day."

Soda Cookie: "I wish I can go to a beach with amazing waves to surf on!"

Mocha Ray Cookie: "I wish for the strength to restore the city."

Almond Cookie: "I wish I could be happy doing detective work."

Fairy Cookie: "I wish for nature to be cleaner..."

Ice Candy Cookie: "I wish I can lead my team to victory!"

Kumiho Cookie: "I wish I could become a real Cookie!"

Whipped Cream Cookie: "I wish I can dance in front of that tree just one more time!"

Red Bean Cookie: "I wish I can run faster with my penguins!"

Pudding Cookie: "I wanna give every Cookie a present!" *Giggle giggle*

Chestnut Cookie: "I wish I could eat jellies until I'm completely full!"

Kiwi Cookie: "I wish I get to ride my bike until the day I crumble..."

Muscle Cookie: "I wish for more muscle! And more strength!"

Peppermint Cookie: "I wish everyone would hear the voices of our friends in the sea..."

Chess Choco Cookie: "We want to play with a skilled Cookie! We wish for a skilled Cookie to play with."

Herb Cookie: "I wish all living things could grow up in warm sunlight."

Churro Cookie: "I wish I can continue to watch over the tree."

Croissant Cookie: "I wish that I can become the greatest engineer!"

Mango Cookie: "I wish our islands would have lots of visitors like they used to. I've found so many things to show off!"

Pirate Cookie: "My wish... is for all the treasures of the seven seas to belong to ME! Kha-ha!"

Adventurer Cookie: "I wish I get to explore completely uncharted lands!"

Earl Grey Cookie: "I wish to be able to take care of all my guests until they are satisfied."

Melon Bun Cookie: "I wish for not having to work much, but still earn loads!"

Werewolf Cookie: "I wish... I don't hurt anyone..."

Firecracker Cookie: "I wish everyone gets to see my FIREWORKS SHOW! NYAHAHA!"

Moon Rabbit Cookie: "I wish I cud have moa wice cake!"

Cherry Blossom Cookie: "I wish I could go on a picnic with the Cookies precious to me!"

Onion Cookie: "I wish the ghosts would go away..." *Sniffle*

Space Doughnut: "Biribiri-biri...?"

Vampire Cookie: "I’ve never bothered with things like wishes."

Bell Pepper Cookie: "I wish I'll become the youngest Doughbell Prize winner!"

Mint Choco Cookie: "I wish my every performance would be perfect."

Mustard Cookie: "I wish even Cookies who aren't sweet get to be free and equal!"

Yoga Cookie: "I wish I can get rid of all desire, and just focus on my meditation."

Goblin Cookie: "I wish for all the rare things to be MINE!"

Cream Unicorn Cookie: "I wish my memories last forever..."

Apple Cookie: "I wish I could become a grown up, and stay up really late!"

Pancake Cookie: "I wish I could have thiiis many Acorn Jellies!! Hehehe!"

Angel Cookie: "I wish every Cookie's wishes will come true..."

Sandwich Cookie: "I wish I can have a sandwich shop in every corner of this world!"

Skating Queen Cookie: "I wish I could eat a mountain of Bear Jellies."

Raspberry Mousse Cookie: "I wish... she would dance for me."

Squid Ink Cookie: "I wish... I can remember... Sob sob..."

Marshmallow Cookie: "I wish I get to perform together with everyone!"

Gumball Cookie: "I wish I could make the whole world COLORFUL!"

Lobster Cookie: "I wish my city would be brought back to its former glory..."

#cr #cookie run #crob #cookie run ovenbreak #mod key

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amysteriousmessenger · 3 years

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Masterlist!

I suppose I have finally written enough to justify making a masterlist, which will be updated every few requests!

Fic Commissions: Open

KoFi Link: https://ko-fi.com/amysteriousmessenger#linkModal

RFA Requests

Reader on their period HCs Reader who has Chronic Pain HCs Valentine’s Massage HCs (mild NSFW)

RFA + Saeran and V

Snowball fight with Reader HCs Under the mistletoe HCs New Years/Midnight HCs Their favourite things about the holidays HCs Insecure Reader HCs Musical Theatre Fan Reader HCs Sending Nudes to Reader HCs (NSFW) Reader asking for more affection HCs (implied NSFW) First date headcanons Valentine’s Gift Exchange HCs First NSFW time together HCs Stressed out Reader HCs Random fluffy HCs

Misc. Characters

Yoosung and Jaehee dressing as a bunny for Reader HCs Proposing to Jaehee and Saeyoung on Valentine’s HCs Coffee Date with Zen and Saeran HCs Getting ice-cream with the twins short drabble

Jumin Han

Jumin takes reader shopping HCs First Kiss with Jumin HCs ‘Alone’ RBB Drabble

Jihyun Kim/V

Wrapping a blanket around V HCs ‘Did you just send me a nude?’/’We can either fight or fuck.’ NSFW V and Reader comforting eachother HCs

Hyun Ryu/Zen

‘We either fight or fuck, it’s your decision’ HCs (nsfw implied) Zen and small-chested Reader Drabble NSFW ‘We’re in public, y’know?’ Zen x Reader Drabble (implied NSFW) Reader who plays otome games HCs Trapped in Zen’s dressing room on Valentine’s HCs (mild NSFW) Comforting Zen when he messes up on stage HCs Cinema Date HCs MC who has bad habits from bullying HCs Aquarium Date HCs Teaching his partner to dance HCs

Yoosung Kim

‘Did you just send me a nude?’ HCs (nsfw implied) Reader hurts his feelings HCs Spin the Bottle HCs (NSFW) ‘Is that a Lovebite?’ Drabble Watching a sad movie together HCs

Jaehee Kang

Saeyoung Choi

‘How could I not love you?’ drabble Comforting him after a nightmare HCs Pranking Yoosung together on his birthday HCs Going fishing with Saeyoung HCs Making reader cry HCs Giving him a Spa day HCs

Saeran Choi

Saeran looking after reader after a nightmare HCs ‘It’s a Dangerous Game’ 18+ NSFW Suit Saeran x Reader fic Saeran x Chubby!Reader NSFW HCs Sub!Ray HCs NSFW Saeran giving oral HCs NSFW Comforting a stressed reader HCs ‘You’re Poison’ Suit Saeran x Reader playlist Saeran finding out you’re pregnant (Valentine’s HCs) Saeran baking Valentine’s sweets for you HCs Baking chocolates for Ray on Valentine’s Day HCs ‘Oral Frustrations’ 18+ NSFW Suit Saeran x Reader Fic Fluff and NSFW GE Post-AE Saeran HCs ‘Love Never Dies’ AE Angst Drabble ‘Oh, to serve a Princess’ - Ray x Reader NSFW fic 18+ Beach Date with Saeran HCs Comforting Suit!Saeran HCs Pregnant Reader and Dad GE Saeran HCs Partner who has PTSD HCs ‘How the warmth will melt the ice’ SFW GE Suit Saeran x Reader fic ‘Love Bites’ - ALL Saerans Vampire AU Drabble RBB ‘Dinner, Bath or Me?’ Valentines HCs - GE ‘Crucified’ NSFW 18+ Savior Saeran x Reader Fic Leaving lovebites on Ray HCs GE Saeran calming his partner down during an anxiety attack HCs

Please check out my full rules but to summarise:

- Please do not request 18+ if you're not 18+

- no incest/discriminatory stuff/underage stuff

- I'm allowed to deny any request I'm not personally comfortable with!!

#masterlist #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger x reader #mystic messenger self insert #mystic messenger reader insert

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little-diable · 4 years

Text

NSFW Alphabet - Jasper Hale

Request by anon: Jasper hale nsfw alphabet please and thank you! 🥺🥰

Enjoy my loves. xxx

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Oh Jasper would definitely take his time, he’d get a warm washcloth from his bathroom, would wipe (y/n) clean, while he would place lingering kisses across her thighs. It would be important for him, to show (y/n) how much he truly cares about her, no matter how rough he had been a few minutes ago, he wanted her to feel loved and safe. Maybe he would take a bath with her, massage her shoulders and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part and also their partner’s)

Jaspers favorite body part of his would probably be his hands, even though some battle scars were gracing his skin, they’d only show what he had been through, trying to survive for the past century.

He would be in love with (y/n)s thighs, the way she’d be able to wrap them around his waist, pull him closer, while he would grasp them with two hands, nails clawing into her skin, leaving marks behind.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…I’m a disgusting person)

The vampire would love to cum inside of (y/n), he’d be obsessed with the warmth that would spread through both of their bodies, the way it would drip out of her core, the moment he was pulling out, definitely a sight to see.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I wouldn’t call it a dirty secret, but Jasper definitely would have his fantasies about seeing (y/n) in a pair of good cowboy boots.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Jasper wouldn’t be as experienced before he met (y/n), of course he’d have a few flings here and there, but nothing serious, where he’d be able to explore his wild side. He wouldn’t be a lost cause though, Jasper would know how to pleasure (y/n), he’d have her body memorized, would know how to push her over the edge, how to tease her.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

(Not putting a visual in here, we don't want tumblr to remove this one, sorry. xxx)

Doggy style all the way, Jasper would grasp (y/n) hips, skin slapping against hers, he’d be able to reach places deep inside of her, tease her sweet spot with every thrust. But, he wouldn’t say no to (y/n) being on top either, the way he’d be able to grab her boobs, let (y/n) take control for a few minutes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

As goofy as Jasper could be, most of the time his darker, rougher side would come out to play, pleasuring (y/n) was something he’d take very seriously. Of course, if both of them were in a good mood, there could escape some giggles here and there.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Jasper certainly wouldn’t have any problems with a fast growth of hair, he’d keep it nice and clean though.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I would call it a good balance between romantic and dominant, Jasper would certainly adore making love to (y/n), take his time with her, shower her with love, but he’d struggle with letting loose and not control every little aspect.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcannon)

Jasper wasn’t one for jacking off, after all, (y/n) would be by his side 24/7, there would be no need for it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Oh boy, where should we start? First off, Jasper definitely would have the hots for the major kink, he would love to be called that by her, reflecting his dominant side. Jasper would also love to tie (y/n) up, restricting her from moving around too much, just like he’d choke her, if he’d be in the mood for it. Maybe even knife play, the risk of losing control, tiptoeing around such a dangerous situation, it would urge him on, intensify his desire.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Somewhere where nobody would disturb their peace, his bed, if the family was out hunting, in the back of his car, maybe even in the woods, a place where both would feel comfortable.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Well, what doesn’t motivate him, should be a proper question. (Y/n) would know how to tease him, how to get him into the mood, maybe he’d need to prove to her once again, who she’d belong to, out of jealousy or maybe just because lovely (y/n) had been a brat that day.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Probably pegging, anything where toys would be involved, also Jasper wouldn’t be a fan of anal in general.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He wouldn’t say no to (y/n) going down on him, but he would definitely reward her afterwards. Just like with anything else, Jasper would take his time, would know how to properly curl his fingers, to gaze her sweet spot, he’d suck on her clit, while he’d pound his fingers in and out of (y/n)s core.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Rough, rough, rough, Jasper would only make love to her, if both of them were in the mood for it, maybe he’d even use it as a reward, if (y/n) had been an exceptionally good girl that day. He would prefer to absolutely w r e c k (y/n), pounding into her, while he was marking her skin with his fingers.

Q = Quickie (Their opinion on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Jasper wouldn’t be a fan of hurrying things, don’t get me wrong, (y/n) and Jasper could go for it literally anywhere, anytime, but only if they were in a safe spot, where nobody would walk in on them.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Maybe behind closed doors, experimenting with new positions, ropes and handcuffs, but only things both would feel comfortable with.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

I mean, our boy is a vampire, he wouldn’t get tired, he could go for it for days on end, if only (y/n) wouldn’t pass out from exhaustion. Jasper would last pretty long, always trying to make her cum first.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No, why would he use them, if he could pleasure her just as good, even better than that.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He would be a master at teasing (y/n), he’d love to see her struggle in public, trying to control her desire, her emotions, but he would lose his patience quite quickly.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Both (y/n) and Jasper would be pretty vocal, there would be no need to swallow down any moans, he would want to hear her, knowing that he was the one, that was pleasuring her this good.

W = Wild Card (I chose: Nicknames you call him/ he calls you )

He’d call (y/n) darlin’, nothing goes beyond “darlin’”, accent thick as he’d call her that. She would call him “love” or “major”, only behind closed doors though.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Only one word to describe him: impressive.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Uh, let me tell you, definitely high, he’d be obsessed with (y/n), thinking about hovering above her and pounding into her nonstop.

Z = ZZZ (…how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Don’t think we need to cover that one, do we?

#Jasper Hale #Jasper Hale imagine #Jasper Hale x reader #Jasper Hale smut #Jasper Hale one shot #jasper whitlock #major jasper whitlock #twilight #twilight smut #twilight imagine #the Cullens #cullen #jackson rathbone #twilight headcanon

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darklightmiwxo · 3 years

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Mcr history

[B]MCR HISTORY IN DETAIL:

This is MCR history it is long and in details. This is different since I'm adding many details that not many people know. Hopefully you will enjoy this. I worked hard on this. These I found in websites,videos,fandoms,MCR magazines,etc. From baby to today but by dates.

[B]Babies/young kids:

[I]Gerard way/Mikey way :

Gerard Way was born on April 9th 1977 in New Jersey. He is half Italian. He later on had a back problem that affected him for the rest of his life (scoliosis) Gerard is allergic to cats. Mikey way was born September 10th 1980. Gerard and Mikey were very close to each other. They became best friends. Gerard and Mikey couldn't go outside and play with other kids since new jersey was very dangerous with murders and kidnapping happening often so Gerard and Mikey would just play with each other. Ms Way said that when Gerard ran mikey try to learn to walk but instead he try to run but he fell on his face. Gerard and Mikey grandma help them get into art she would give them papers and markers for them to use.

Here is baby Gerard and mikey:

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[IMG=KJ5]

[IMG=M8K]

[I]Frank iero:

[IMG=UBP]

[IMG=I87]

Frank was born on October 31 1981 in New Jersey. Who has Italian in his blood. Frank was a only child. His parents divorced when he was very young.Frank's dad and grandfather played drums in their own band. Frank went to the hospital a lot and had lots of health problems he had ear infections, broncadus and he has a weak immune system he also had asma. Frank became a vegetarian when he found out about animals getting killed so he decided to not eat meat anymore.

Frank visited his dad only in the weekends he would take him to bars so Frank would watch him play. Frank's mom was poor she couldn't even buy milk which was said by Frank.

[I]Ray toro:

[IMG=2LH]

Ray toro was born on July 15 1977 in New Jersey. He is Puerto Rican. He has 2 older brothers. Ray couldn't go outside to play with kids since new jersey was too dangerous.

[B]Kids:

[I]Gerard way/Mikey way:

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[IMG=40Y]

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Gerard and Mikey went to the same schools. Gerard would often draw since he loved to draw. Gerard and Mikey often share music to each other. Gerard was bullied badly at school that he had to change school. Gerard joined to be part of a play at his new school he was Peter Pan. He sang his part on stage. Later on middle school started and Gerard and Mikey stayed in the same school but they both deal with bullying.

[I]Frank Iero:

[IMG=HHZ]

Frank was bullied often at school. He went to hospitals often still. He is very close to his mother. Frank's father made Frank try to plays some drums but he didn't want to play drums he wanted to play guitar so they gave him a guitar he played a few notes. frank self taught himself.

[I]Ray toro:

His older brother knew how to play guitar he would often give CDs for Ray to hear. His brother taught him how to play guitar and Ray learned guitar.

[B]Teenagers:

[IMG=ZJE]

[I]Gerard Way:

Gerard Way learned to play a little bit of guitar. he gotten really good at drawing. He joined a band in high school but he got kicked out for not playing a song they wanted. He also wasn't good at guitar. So Gerard and a friend of him made a comic book together. But some how they couldn't sell it in a comic book store. Gerard spread all summer copying another art style of another comic book but soon he made his own style. Gerard was still bullied at school.

[I]Mikey way:

he dreamed to be in a band and it was always his dream.

[I]Frank Iero:

Frank played guitar well he would often get beaten up at school. Frank created a band called pencey prep with his school friends.

[I]Ray Toro:

Ray toro became a pro guitarist he learned to play metallica songs.

[B]Young Adults:

[I]Gerard:

He went to art school after he finished high school. They taught him some things. Gerard met a friend who introduce him to Ray Toro. Gerard art did well that he worked for cartoon network to make a tv show. Gerard was drawing for a show He was working on a show called the breakfast monkey show. Gerard and Ray made a song together for the show. The intro of the song. On September 11th 2001 Gerard went to New York for a final meeting for the tv show. On his way to the meeting he saw a plane hit a tower. Then another plane hit the other tower. Gerard watched people around him cry and with fear but Gerard said he didn't sad. He was afraid of what was going to happen to the world he though are you happy where your life is right now. Is this really important. So the meeting was canceled. Gerard went home and wrote the first MCR song "Skylines and turnstiles". Gerard met Oliver who worked at a bar he was his friend and he often chatted with him. Gerard asked him if he could be part of his band he was making.

[I]Ray toro:

Gerard called him. Ray haven't seen Gerard for a while since Gerard was always in his house avoiding human contact. He asked Ray if he could be part of his band. He told him to come over to check out what they were making he didn't have to join but he wanted him to come over. So Ray went over to Oliver's house. Gerard showed him the song he was making Ray joined the band.

[I]Mikey Way:

Mikey heard of gerards band. He heard their music and he loved it that he took bass classes and joined the band.

[I]Gerard way:

The band created a few songs then they went to eyeball records they were outside their door and they asked them if they could be signed they gave them their music for the label to hear. The label loved it so they signed them. A radio host who was there heard of the band and he said he will put them on the radio which he did and it gain them fans.

The band didn't have a name.

Gerard and Mikey worked in Barnes and novel. Gerard worked in the music area while mikey worked in the book area. Mikey one day looked behind a book and the reviews said tales of chemical romance so mikey thought what if you put my in front of it. Mikey told Gerard his idea and Gerard loved it he thought it fit the band with their music and the band in general.

[I]Frank iero:

Frank worked on a album for pencey prep once he was done they sign with eyeball record and started to do tours. Frank once went to a party and he saw a woman fighting with another woman she punch the girls face. Frank fell in love with the girl that girls name was jamia.

Frank heard of MCR since the label would gave random CDs to the bands part of the label. Frank said we often hear Mcr demos in the car when we go around town to do shows.

[B]Bullet era:

Gerard went to a bar with mikey and Alex from eye ball. They went for a drink. Gerard saw pencey prep playing their show. Gerard Said he was amazed by Frank who was destroying the stage with the energy he had he looked like he was playing for thousands of people and that was what the band needed. Gerard knew they needed a new guitarist since he couldn't play guitar. He met the kid and they became friends.

Pencey prep would often travel to many states in a podcast Frank said that pencey prep would work on their music in each other's parents basement. They rented a building in a warehouse which was shared with other bands they knew mcr during this time. They would play music in a small room in that place even one of the band members live in that place with some other band member of a different band. One day one of the members of pencey prep broken down the wall of the room they played in to make it bigger since it was 2 separated room they made it to one big room and that is where mcr did their album and other bands pencey prep invited. Gerard and Frank painted in that room together at night and the chemicals of the paint had made both Gerard and Frank high. They later on blame that another band that run a party and made a big mess broken down the wall and lying saying that they didn't actually break it. They did get away with it.

*casual interactions on YouTube podcast*

Later on Pencey prep tour with Thursday and MCR. MCR was poor but Frank was nice enough to let them use the back stage room.

MCR played a few shows and gain fans. The radio host said fans were obsessed with vampires will never hurt you.

They often ask him to play it.

MCR were recording bullets but Gerard had a teeth problem and also anxiety. His tooth hurt him so much he would hit his head on the wall,bang his head on a car hood and he would cry and scream so badly that he often went to the hospital. He also had fear. He was going to give up he said "I can't do this anymore" the producer yelled and slapped his face to get his shit together and do the recording. Gerard later on got surgery on his tooth.

Pencey prep broken up

[B]I am a graveyard

Frank's band that didn't go as great as pencey prep. Only three members of pencey were in this band and one of the members of pencey left. They played a few shows but then they broken up.

Gerard asked Frank if he could join the band since they needed a guitarist and Ray couldn't play every guitar part. Frank said yes you guys are my fave band. MCR created have already created a few songs without Frank but 3 songs on bullets had Frank in it. Like early sunset over Manhattan for example. Ray and Frank said their ways are different Ray was more the metal kid while Frank was the punk rock kid but it worked. Frank could play parts Ray couldn't play and Ray played parts Frank couldn't play.

I brought you my bullets you brought me your love was released in 2002. The radio host played the album on the radio. MCR opened for Thursday,taking back Sunday. Fans loved MCR and they gain fans. Soon MCR traveled outside the state's Gerard and mikeys grandma brought them a van for tour.

The band went on tour as they played for fans in small venues. Even the place was too small for the fans since many people wanted to see them. Brian their tour manager made Gerard meet the used. He met bert and thought he was crazy but they later on became good friends

(Very good friends they became boyfriends)

Gerard started drinking and doing drugs with bert. Frank and jamia became girlfriends and boyfriends. MCR were poor they didn't have much food or clothes. They said they were used to a hungry stomach. But other bands were kind enough to give food and clothes to them. Their album didn't make it to record stores. So fans didn't have a way to buy the CD it was limited. MCR didn't even have merch to sell. Gerard made his own merch called thank you for the venom.

MCR became more popular.

Gerard was sexually confused

In 2003 there was a party mcr attempted. This was planned. It was filmed.

Frank was with Gerard and jamia next to him.

A guy was fighting Gerard. Frank fighted the guy to protect Gerard he ran after the guy but Ray stopped him.

Gerard and bert tour together and they made a song.

[B]Revenge era:

Gerard and mikeys grandma died. Which affected the band they made a song for her.

Warner brothers wanted to sign MCR but they rejected many labels they soon said yes to them. The band gotten a tour bus.

They had a producer named Howard who helped them create a album the band would create something and they think he will like it but he hated it he told them what is this going to be, what are you saying. They soon made songs he would like.

Once the album was done they kicked out Oliver when they finished the bullet tour. They kicked him out for not playing well he didn't want to use drum beats. He mess up often when playing so they kicked him out. They gotten Bob who he played in other bands as a dj and they didn't know he could play drums. Bob is from Chicago. He was all about tech and that is what the band needed. He joined the band.

Gerard was on his worst of the drugs and achohol that it made him sick he was very depressed and suicidal they were going to finish the album when Gerard was going for a walk and he wasn't seen for 2 days Frank was asking for help for people to find him.

Gerard was found.

Gerard said he did men favors for cocaine.

(Gerard and Frank started to be more than just friends they became boyfriends. Frank was a swinger so he had both Gerard and jamia. She seem ok with it because if she wasn't Frank wouldn't date Gerard. This is part for the frerard shipper)

Three cheers for sweet revenge was release they started touring. They went to Europe and Japan. While in Japan Gerard was getting worst he was throwing up so much. He once throw up for 45 mins then he said he was done.

Gerard became clean.

Their first music video was made it was I'm not okay and they gotten popular the shows gotten bigger they played in bigger venues and outdoor concert places.

MCR were always dirty they couldn't shower for many days and they smelled bad their clothes were always dirty. They toured with fall out boy for a while even Jimmy eat world and other bands. They were nominated in the vma.

The album gotten awards later on.

They did a world tour.

Gerard gotten a girlfriend named Ellie (aka the crazy fan)

[B]The black parade era:

The band were done touring they created some songs in the tour bus (I don't love you,teenagers) they wanted to stay in a cheap house. So they stayed in a haunted mansion. Mikey said he was feeling lost and depressed when they were on their way to L.A and the haunted house was making his problems bigger. The mansion name is called the paramour house. There were rumors of ghost and the place being haunted. Celebs would stay there often to make music or work.

[IMG=I4P]

They stayed there for 6 months.

Mikey didnt want to stay in the room upstairs so he stay on gerards floor. He often sneak from the bathroom to sleep on the floor next to Gerard. Some friends of theirs ask who had one of the rooms which was where Mikey was suppose to stay in and Gerard looked at Mikey in a joke kinda way but Mikey didn't want to say it. Frank stayed in a room away from the other rooms, Rumor said that the actor of friends ran out the room screaming. Plus a singer made a song with a ghost. Frank said the room was fine but he heard stuff that he thought was a raccoon and he said if it's actually a ghost she has a bad voice. Water would often suddenly start in bobs room. While they often hear door slamming and saw a few ghost around. Gerard was going crazy he was writing words on the wall. Ray was playing a random song that Gerard was mad at him for not playing a song for MCR. Ray played the song really fast since he was very stressed. Mikey left the house to see a therapist he was seeking help for his mental health. But he would come to the mansion to record songs. All the band had a problem with depression,anxiety,self doubt,and stress trama. The band often hear door slams and Mikey said he saw a few ghosts. Bob said in a interviews for the alternative press book that the band often had family breakfast. They played music in the ball room. Bob said we have a support room we would put up notes if we have a problem and we would talk about it. One day Bob went to rays room and he saw Ray brushing his teeth he was shaking. He asked him what happened and Ray said he saw a old lady ghost walking down the stairs.

Gerard gotten ideas he showed his idea to the band and they use it they recorded songs. One day they were trying to finish the last song. The band went to get coffee. Gerard was left alone thinking of ideas when they band returned Gerard created the song. They were inspired by his words. The band quickly left the mansion they were tired of it. They gotten a apartment that they stayed in for a while. The black parade album was made. Soon they started to tour. They first open up for muse in their concert in the U.K they were the first American band to play in that arena then they brought muse to tour with them in america.

They made a music video for famous last words but frank knocked Gerard which tore the muscle of his foot that he had to use a cane. There is fire in the video that Bob burned his leg he got a 2nd degree burn and the burn infected his face area that it enter his blood and he went to the hospital it almost went to his brain thankfully they saved him.

One day the band were in virgina with muse. Frank didn't go out for dinner since he is vegetarian and Gerard slept over that day (hmm it seems like something else huh)

Ray,bob,and mikey had dinner with muse matt,chris,and dom. They gotten food poison by the restaurant that both bands were sick for many days.

When they went to the U.K they gotten hate by the British people since the news said that MCR is a cult leader because one MCR girl ended her life. They treated MCR badly but they didn't care they won over them.

Frank often was sick on tour.

Then project revelation (Gerard broken up with his girlfriend) they toured with mindless self indigent,linkin park,blink 182,and the killers. (The most gay era for Frank and Gerard)

Gerard falling love with lynz. He broken up with Frank. A month later he married her. The frerard fight happened.

(Rumor said that Ray saw Frank sobbing in the bathroom)

Frank broken his toes that he had a cane.

Break:

Frank married jamia.

Ray married his girlfriend.

Frank created leather mouth.

While Gerard was making his comic books since revenge. The Umbrella academy comic book gotten awards. And Gerard was working on doom patrol while making more umbrella academy books. Ray had a kidney failure.

Frank had to remove his wisdom teeth since it infected his mouth that it made his mouth and nose bleed. He also had stomach pains that he would take pills for it.

[B]Danger days era:

The band had children (gerard,frank,and ray)

The band thought they were running out of ideas. They made a song for a movie then they try to make conventional weapons but they gave up on it they scrap it and they then made the danger days album. Basic off Gerard ways comic book series danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys. The band became superheroes. Once they finished danger days they kicked Bob out over drama something to do with mikey cheating on his wife with another girl that Bob bullied him. Gerard kicked him out of the band. They gotten Michael who they made him the new drummer.

The band went on tour around the world.

Soon they finished touring they kicked out Michael for stealing in the band he was stealing band stuff.

Gerard decided to break up the band suddenly he didn't tell Frank

Frank didn't know about the break up so he was confused. Mikey divoide his wife.

[B]MCR broken up.

[B]During the break:

Frank created death spells in 2012 before the break up happened. Below I posted during the break wiki and Frank's band history wiki.

Frank created another band called Frank iero and the celebration.

Mikey was very depressed he taken drugs and he overdose in them that he was in a coma for many weeks. This also made Gerard depressed.

Gerard made solo music he created a album and was touring around places. He became a vegetarian.

Ray toro made solo music he created his own album.

Mikey joined a band called electric century.

Bob became a real estate agent also a plane flyer.

In 2017 Frank created another band called Frank iero and the patience.

Gerard worked more on his comic books.

Mikey married his girlfriend.

Ray was unknown in this era.

Frank was touring around the world. he went to Australia his band were in the car of the parking lot in the airport when a bus ran the car over it pulled Frank a few miles away from the car the band went to the hospital. Frank broken his arm while everyone else broken their legs and arm. Frank can't play the same again so he can't jump around stage and play guitar for a long time if not his arm will hurt he did not have surgery. Gerard,Ray, and Mikey went to Frank's show. Once a year mcr would bring their wife and kids and have a barbeque together to talk about plans.

In 2018

Gerard was working on the umbrella academy tv show and his other umbrella academy book. Plus more doom patrol stuff.

Mikey was making his own comic books also his wife had 2 kids by this time.

2019:

Frank created a new band Frank iero and the future violents his album barriers came out may 2019. Gerard release the umbrella academy tv show plus his other umbrella academy books.

Mikey release more comic books for collapser.

Ray collab with Gerard with 2 songs for the umbrella academy. They are cover songs.

On Oct 31 2019,

Frank's birthday was happening and fans said happy birthday to him. Frank then said it's raining outside today I can't do nothing today so we have to do something else. Then Frank tease a image he was the first one to say mcr returned then the other band members did it too. So MCR reunion happened MCR is back on Halloween

On Dec 20 2019,

It was the first MCR show since the break up in California 2019.

Now in 2020 MCR are touring now but due to the virus the band has to move some dates.

More dates will be added.

Gerard Way is working on season 2 of the umbrella academy tv show.

That's all of mcr history hopefully you readed all of this. Hopefully you enjoyed this. I will update this page if anything new happens. Check out the other wiki. If I forgotten anything I will add it here.

Here is info you can find for some of these.

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[IMG=YCT]

[IMG=HRP]

[IMG=LAW]

[IMG=U2O]

[IMG=FJO]

There is another video I can't find but I saw it ages ago.

The other details I got them from the book in the first photo which you can get in the alt press website it's cheap but they got stuff in there about the band.

Please check out the wiki below they are part of mcr history too.

Thanks for having the patience to read this wiki.

Please share it.

I will add pictures later to this wiki. This took me hours to make this.

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wickedsrest-rp-archive · 3 years

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ZOOted | group chatzy

TIMING: Midday, August 29, 2021. LOCATION: The Main Street of Downtown. SUMMARY: What’s black and white and silent all over? The creatures at the zoo make their grand escape. TRIGGERS: Brief vomit (marked in chatzy), animal death.

Anara Kingston was just getting ready to open up her family bistro for the day, hands propped on her hips as she admired the storefront that multiple generations had made thrive on the corner of Main Street in Downtown White Crest. There was your usual display of signage, an eye-catching banner that advertised a meatball sandwich special, and a small paper in the lower left corner of the front window that proudly read ‘127 days since last accident’. The notice was actually one of the larger draws of the establishment in a town such as White Crest, where oddities and danger seemed to lurk around every dark corner. People wanted to feel safe while they ate, munching on overpriced meals while they tarried the day away. Anara leaned forward to polish the glass in front of the advertisement of their sanctity, only to stiffen when she heard a foreign braying of...was that a donkey? No. She’d been around enough of the farms that peppered White Crest to know it wasn’t the sound of such a creature.

A clopping of hooves was quick to follow the strange barking, and to the shop owner’s amazement, none other than a genuine zebra had begun to parade down Main Street, children and adults laughing and pointing alike as the escaped creature began to graze on the flowerbeds of a plant shop.

Nell stared for a solid minute at the zebra that had waltzed down Main Street as if he owned the place, already trying to figure out whether this was some bullshit she was willing to deal with today, or if she should simply call Kaden at Animal Control and make this his problem. Unfortunately her decision was made for her as a swarm of pixies, seemingly also escaped from the zoo, buzzed after the zebra to tug at anything they could get their grimy little hands around. With a deep sigh, Nell made her way over to the swarm that was doing their best to scalp a woman by yanking at her hair. This was now officially a problem she needed to solve.

Sai huffed as he ran down the sidewalk after a black horned Scapegoat that had gleefully decided to aid some oddly silent goats on their break towards glorious freedom. “No Ibulba! They live in the zoo!”

Keys rattled as Metzli strode towards their gallery, deciding to walk through Main Street. Yuca was leashed and in tow, picking up her pace in excitement. She always loved walking about the gallery. All the pets and enrichment she could ask for, making for a very happy cat. That was until, a swarm of sprites zoomed past the two and made the vampire stumble and trip, dropping their umbrella. Yuca mewled terribly, angry and shocked by the sudden interruption.

Metzli barely had enough time to react as they saw the swarm circling back around. Eyes widened and they reached for a door, any door to swiftly let Yuca inside, but it was no use. The sun made their skin sting and bones ache, but getting their cat to safety was the top priority. Leaping into an alleyway, only a few of the sprites managed to find them and picked and prodded at their skin. “What the fuck!” They yelled, hoping they could catch someone’s attention as they wrapped their arms around Yuca.

It had been drizzling on and off all day, leaving the pavement tiles slightly slicker than Chloe liked as she navigated her trolley along the road. Her mind was fractured in several place - thinking about the strange flower order she’d processed for a funeral this morning that for some reason wanted tree roots in the bouquet as well as flowers, about the grocery shop she’d just finished, and the painting of Lydia’s face that stuck with her. She didn’t notice the rumbling of animals at first, until something pig-sized, black, and white cantered past her. Chloe screamed, jumping back as she waved her umbrella at the mime-like creature, her eyes wide. After a second, her hand clutching her chest, Chloe realised it wasn’t another evil type of mime, but just a… an anteater? No, what were they called… The ones with the longer noses that looked a little like pie-bald pigs…. The word would come to her in a moment, but it didn’t look too threatening.

Unfortunately, most things in White Crest didn’t.

Bly had spent the morning in a coffee shop with Nas and overall it had been a really freaking good time. Nas had to meet up with his girlfriend so he had left them alone in the shop until they had finished their coffee. Leaving with the shop, overpacked backpack slung over their shoulder, they stopped short. Was there like a fair and they had missed the advertisements? It didn’t really seem like a fair, but White Crest was weird like that. “So, uh, is this like an event? I didn’t buy a ticket so I’m not sure if I’m allowed to be here?” They looked over to a person nearby, hands splayed out in front of them. “I don’t have cash on me either, so I can’t even buy a ticket!”

White Crest’s one and only white Bengal tiger prowled around, looking at all of the strange and new sights that one never gets to see from behind a cage. However, she only had one thing on her mind. Where, oh where, was that zebra?

Alcher didn’t often go into town, but something had piqued her interest today. She could smell the animals crowding the streets, free from their cells at the local zoo. It was something she knew would be fun to watch, if not join in on. Unfortunately, being a wolf in this commotion might end up with her being chased by the humans who thought animals belonged in cages as well, so it was in her human guise that she showed up downtown, arms folded as she watched. Someone spoke up nearby, and Alcher shrugged. An event, not that would be funny. A smile curled her lips. “I can not say, but I can say I am enjoying this, are you?”

Nell didn’t necessarily want to kill the sprites. After all, as far as murderous pint-sized things went, they were decently harmless for the most part. And perhaps she could relate with being so angry at a world while being so little. Not that she’d ever admit that. So instead of burning them to bits with some form of iron, she looked around for any sort of box, container, something to hold the creature within. Seeing the person struggling with their umbrella nearby she yelled out to them. “You got a box or something? A bag? Anything?”

Morgan couldn’t remember how she’d convinced herself that taking Sundew along her usual weekend walk/leisurely shopping trip would be relaxing. On their way, the smug pixie delighted in reading every sign, front page, and logo they passed. When Morgan said Sundew didn’t have to, she knew how smart she was, she seriously didn’t have to, the pixie only cackled and circled higher to see more things, and then spoke of her ambition to market something to humans as ‘natural and organic’ and fill it with cat droppings. And this was before Morgan went from giving Bex a look of apology one next and starting a zebra eyeball-to-eyeball the next.

If Morgan had ever learned anything useful about zebras, it vanished in that moment. All she could process were its stripes, its beady, wicked little black eyes, and the tension freezing her cold muscles.

“That's a dummy looking horsey,” Sundew giggled. “It’s hair is almost as funny looking as yours!”

Morgan ached to take the pixie and squeeze her quiet, but it dawned on her, just in time, that there were a lot of people she recognized just beyond her (at least one she never wanted to see) and stare-down with a zebra was going to be the least of her concerns.

“Sai!” Morgan called. “You’re proficient in animal handling, right??”

Things in White Crest had been pretty mild, all things considered, which to experts like Leah meant that mischief was right around the corner. She had been thinking it all morning, and the thoughts continued to plague her as she sat for a quick lunch in the park. No sooner had the thought crossed her mind again than she heard a rumbling close by- literally around the corner. She stood up suddenly, confusion lacing her features, and walked toward Main street where she saw the contents of the zoo quite literally spilling out into town. A couple of lemurs hung from a tree nearby and suddenly, a dalmatian soared past her, running in the direction of a pet supply shop. Did the zoo hold dalmations now, too?

“Uhhh, I mean, I am trying to enjoy it but, like, there’s a tiger here now.” Bly said etched the animal began to look around looking like it was trying to find prey. “I’m pretty sure it would probably try to eat me if it had a chance. I don’t want to be eaten today?” There was a lemur somewhere nearby, Bly could hear it and they were starting to think this wasn’t an event. “Do you think we should like call the government or something?”

Sai ran up to one of the zoo employees that’d been rather nonchalantly pursuing the escaping animals, recognizing their striped uniform and panda hat. “I’m sorry… sir did you ..” he panted hands on his knees. “See which …way…the …goats..went?”

The Quiet Panda Fan regarded Sai expressionlessly for a time. Eyes with strange white pupils and black irises, contacts no doubt, seemed to bore into some deep place inside of the wizard. The Panda Fan turned and walked into an alley out of sight.

“Oh thanks!” Sai followed after, thinking Ibulba and the goat exodus had run into a dead end. He walked into the alley only to watch the Panda fan be torn apart by some unseen force, sinews, sin, and fuzzy panda kitsch unraveling into a haze of hair-thin black and white strands. The pale and dark flesh-ribbons swirled around Sai like a school of curious Koi fish before slithering onto the walls of the alley. Black and white murals of zebras, penguins, pandas danced beneath a picture of a black sun with white rays all over the alley walls. Above it all were the words “BENEATH THE LOATHSOME NOISE OF LIFE, BLESSED SILENCE WAITS.”

Sai swallowed as he stared, but thankfully Morgan's voice called out from somewhere on the street. “Uh…uh, yes! Yes I can help,” the wizard shouted, running aware from the black and white murals now adorning the alley bricks.

Forming into a ball to protect Yuca and their face, Metzli heard Nell call out her question. They answered in a frustrated huff, “Does it look like a have a fucking box?!” Swatting away with an arm they growled and hit several of the few sprites picking at them, even managing to grab one and bite its head off without a second thought.

Somewhere, in the distance, screaming could be heard. A waddle of penguins had just stolen a man’s coffee.

“I think it’s cute,” Bex had said when Morgan insisted Sundew didn’t need to read every sign possible as they strolled downtown. She was like a toddler, learning to read for the first time, and eager to show off and prove to people how smart they were. Bex gave Sundew a smile, and a quiet wink when Morgan stopped and Bex nearly ran into her. In the street, a zebra trotted by, and for a moment, Bex wasn’t sure she was seeing things right. She rubbed her eyes, looked between the animal and Morgan, snapping to and realizing it was, in fact, real, when she called out to Sai. What was he doing here? Why was there a zebra downtown? But as she looked around, she noticed more animals roaming the streets and took off in a trot after Morgan. “What’s going on-- what is that?” Wide curious eyes, not sure if she was supposed to panic or be of help somehow.

The anteater? Pig? shaped animal slowed to a trot in front of Chloe, then snuffled at a nearby plant pot full of purple gardenias, its long nose prodding and poking at the flowers. Skeptically, Chloe bristled the umbrella at it, not trusting that anything this innocuous looking could truly be innocuous. Someone yelled at her and she tore away her eyes from the creature for a second to look at the young woman. “Uh!” She yelled back, looking at her trolley full of groceries, before remembering that she’d packed some extra reusable cotton bags in case she bought more. Turning her gaze back to the animal that was now happily monching on the flowers, she pulled out the reusable bags. “Will these do? What is going on??”

Alcher regarded the tiger that was pointed out with a placid expression. “She is beautiful, isn’t she?” The child was complaining, and they smelled so human, it made Alcher’s nose crinkle through the scents of animals free from their prisons. “You do not know that. Not all animals are vicious and want to eat everything.” A shrug, and she was strolling away from them and into the street. “What good can men in suits do? I say enjoy the show, kinder, perhaps it is a free one.”

Nell growled in frustration as the first person proved useless, though she supposed they were busy protecting their cat. Fine. As always, she’d have to do it herself. But then another woman procured a plastic bag, and there was hope for the people of the world and their abilities to respond to a crisis once again. “It’s gonna have to do!” Nell said while reaching out for the bags, already thinking of a spell she could use to make them stronger, harder to be torn apart by little sprite hands. “Looks like a jail break,” Nell replied dryly, recognizing some of the animals from the zoo.

The tiger could smell her prey in the distance. It was near a group of the two legged creatures, those humans who locked her in behind those bars and watched her. Now, she watched them. Now, they would not separate her from her meal. She moved forward with the confidence of a prisoner released from her cage after too long. Like a prisoner, she wanted a good meal, and she wanted it fresh. One of the humans, a strange smelling one, one that did not seem human at all, regarded her, and so the tiger returned the look only for a moment. She was so hungry. She would eat.

The sprites became preoccupied by Nell’s trapping attempt, giving Metzli enough time to get up and run off with Yuca in their arms. That’s when they saw the rest of the animals roaming about the street. Zebras, tigers, and several others. Supernatural others. “Whoa…” They said, amazed and confused. “What is happ—” They were interrupted by running into someone, and that someone was Morgan.

“My familiar is criminal,” declared Sai mournfully as he reached Morgan, Bex, and another clumsy person, face flushed from a long sprint down several streets.

“I guess?” Bly had to admit it did make sense that animals didn’t always want to eat people. Still… They didn’t want to test it. “They might get hurt if we don’t help them though! A tiger or a zebra isn’t going to do well in Maine. It’s cold here.” Then the tiger was looking at them and Bly was pretty thankful they didn’t pee themself. They slowly inched behind the intense lady, “I don’t like this. Making eye contact with a tiger is a bad idea!”

Sundew had never dreamed of a more perfect day. The humans looked so silly with their faces like that and one of them made the funniest sound when a fluffy cloud of sprites swarmed and picked at her nisty-nasty hair.

Sundew flew out of her hiding spot on Morgan’s shoulder and conjured a mallet just her size between her fingers. She bonked the human running toward them to help, then she flew toward the sprites, cackling, “Yes! Yes! Cage-free chaos!” Then she flew to the nearest human and bit their hand and left the image of a lion paw on their wrist instead. “Woopsie! Better get that checked out! I hope your premiums are good!”

Morgan looked from Sundew, to Sai, to Bex, to the zebra, and back again. There were people losing their coffee, people losing their sanity, Nell and Chloe maybe doing something clever with a plastic bag, and it was all too much.

“What do you mean criminal?” She cried. “Did Ibulba do this?” Normally this would’ve been outrageous but nothing was outrageous today. The zebra bared his teeth and Morgan jumped back and ran into someone else.

“Oh, hi. Nice day for a walk, huh? You really might wanna consider going anywhere else right now.” Then she saw Sundew fluttering back their way with a familiar, dangerous look on her face. “Or better yet, get down! This really isn’t safe for anyone!”

Chloe eyed the animal chewing on the plants, itching around it carefully. When she looked up at Nell again, she frowned, finally realising that the ungulate creature wasn’t the only thing running around. All of the animals were black and white, and despite the havoc they were creating, they were much quieter than a normal stampede. “Are you going to use a bag to try and stop-” Chloe gestured at the skunks, snakes and single cow, as well as the terrifying creature beside them. Its nose was too long and flexible. She didn’t trust it.

Bex glanced between Sai and Morgan. Sai seemed breathless and Morgan seemed panicked and Sundew was off making trouble with some small, butterfly-looking creatures that seemed to like her. As far as animal handling went, Bex had rolled low, she’d never been around animals in her life, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know anything about them. The zebra brayed at them and she scooted behind Morgan as well, when someone bumped into them. A familiar someone.

“Metzli??” she breathed, raising a brow. Why were they here? It was still daytime! “Oh, watchout!” She called, tugging on their arm as Sundew whizzed toward them, ready to spread more antics. “Sundew, no, please!” she tried. The pixie rarely listened to Bex, even though she often let them braid her hair in the garden and laugh about silly pixie things.

Nell shook her head while she mumbled a quick spell under her breath, and the cotton bag stiffened into something much harder. “What?” she asked with vague annoyance on her features while she tried to figure out how to herd the sprites into the bag. “You want me to use the bag on the tapir?” That was the long-nosed thing standing next to Chloe, right? She remembered seeing them in the jungles of South America. “If you wanna keep it as a pet you’re gonna have to use something else. Maybe think of a name for it first. But no- this is for them!” she replied, gesturing towards the swarm of pixies.

“Maybe? I don’t know? She is aiding and abetting it at least, and her unluck is very powerful ,” Sai confessed glumly, as if somehow convinced his magic goat would be put on trial for zoo escapes.

It was too late, Metzli was knocked to the ground and Yuca yelled out in terror. She almost ran off, but they managed to grab her leash and pull her back in as they got to their feet. They were too frantic between the chaos and trying to get into some shade. “Oh. Hi Bex!” They said in a daze and ran under a nearby canopy for protection with Yuca in their arms once again. Her hackles were raised and she was growling.

Leah watched from across the street as a panda bear chewed on pages from a book, and that was the last straw. Chaos and carnage she could let go, but book destruction? Unacceptable. She stomped across the street toward the bear, taking a deep breath to settle herself as she went.

The tiger and her gorgeous coat stopped to regard Alcher for a moment, and what a sight she was. Alcher simply stood and admired her back, giving a nod. She didn’t need help stalking her prey, but the proud zebra had strutted further down the street and seemed to be oblivious to the chaos it had caused, if maybe proud. Alcher could relate. She would want to kill it, too. Perhaps it would taste sweet, like the smell of fae hanging in the air. Fae blood was a treasure for someone like Alcher, though she did not indulge often-- fae held grudges, fae remembered, fae had magic she didn’t want to mess with. Alcher turned to beckon to the child, whose worry was palpable. “I think they’ll do just fine. Keep up, if you don’t want to be the next meal.”

The lemurs began jumping on people, using their little hands to flip people off. They’d learned things during school field trips.

Sundew would later tell her troop that she’d made fifty humans think they were turning into animals even if it was only more like ten.

“Can’t catch me!” She giggled, whizzing by Bex. She pulled on the girl’s hair as hard as she could, humans were so silly when they weeble-wobbled, and did several circles in the air to show how much she was enjoying herself. She circled around to where the sprites were clustering and touched her toes to the tops of their heads as she crowed, “Fly my pretties, fly!” Just to get them good and riled up.

The zebra in front of Morgan pulled its ears back and huffed silently, then, swift as chaos, it reared and lunged at Morgan, knocking her down as it pranced toward freedom. Morgan wheezed, wincing as her chest bent back into the right shape, and looked ahead into the thick cluster of goats and animals. “What I’m hearing, Sai, is that this is only gonna get worse until we find your goat. And so we gotta—“ she gestured vaguely at the mess brewing in front of them. “Find her?”

A tall jogger sighed and scooped up a grizzly bear cub that’d been making excited friendly noises at the bibio-voric panda bear and had begun to imitate to see if human literature was indeed delicious. “No Zeke,” Roy sighed, chiding his youngest sibling. “We can’t play with cousin right now.”

Bly’s mouth was dry, this lady just nodded at the tiger. The tiger who was hunting was nodded at by a Lady who didn’t seem to care. Their fingers drummed a rhythm against their sternum, drowning out the pounding underneath it. “You think it might be hungry after a different meal?” Their voice was reaching a scared squeaking pitch. “Should I call my mom?”

“No! I thought you wanted to use the bag on the tapir! It looks shifty!” Chloe yelled back, eyeing it suspiciously again. “I don’t want it as a pet!” All bickering about the tapir faded away as she saw the sprites twisting around in the air. Chloe froze, shrinking in on herself as she clutched her iron necklace her breath racing. “I- I can’t- I can’t I can’t-” She handed Nell an iron necklace with a long iron chain on it, fingers trembling as she pressed her back against the wall. Please don’t notice me, please don’t notice me, she thought as loud as she could.

Bex recoiled. “See if I ever share my gummies with you again!” she growled at the pixie as she incited a rebellion among the butterfly beings. Her eyes roamed again until she found Metzli under a canopy, cradling their cat. “Maybe you should get out of here? Your cat seems angry and scared and I think it’s just gonna get um--” she glanced back at Morgan, the zebra, wincing at the hit, refraining from calling out to her-- “worse.” She waved her hands a moment. “At least stay here! I’ll be back.” She backed away, then, and made her way over to Sai. “Which way did she go? Can you, like, track her?” She tried to think of a way for herself to be useful, but barring becoming a distraction, she couldn’t think of much. “Maybe we should split up?”

The tiger was close enough, now, her prey nearly in her mouth it was so close. She looked to the human that did not smell like a human, to the cub human next to her. They were not important. One did not smell like prey, and the other was too small to worry with. The tiger had her prey. She looked back at it and let out a silent snarl. Sound had not come out of her, not anymore. Not since she had been locked behind those bars, since the colors in her fur dripped from her like rain water. She lunged, teeth and claws sinking into the hind end of her prey. It, too, could not properly cry out. The tiger finally had her meal.

“She probably wants to take the petting zoo goats to the farm,” Sai said, watching with wide eyes as Morgan went from definitely dead to bodily wholeness in the span of seconds. “Which…would mean I’d be harboring stolen property aw shit noooooo!”

Bea heard the yells before she saw anything out of the ordinary. All she had wanted was to buy a bottle of wine and have a bubble bath tonight. Sighing, the witch cracked open a bottle, screw top, Thank God, and took a sip. She saw her sister doing something and determined it was likely best to go help her. “Hey, Nellie,” She said casually as she offered the bottle to her sister. “Who let the animals out of the zoo?”

The tiger took its prey and Alcher grinned. The young human was panicking and she rolled her eyes. “What good would that do? If you want to survive, you must think smarter.” She didn’t know why she was even bothering with this human child, but she didn’t know how to walk away anymore. She’d grown...soft. Shuddering, Alcher turned away. She could smell them on the air, her cousins. They were traveling together and were getting closer. She had been waiting for this. It was time to make a new home for them. “Come,” she ushered to the child, “I want to show you something.”

Nell shot the other woman an incredulous look, sparing the black and white tapir once more glance before calling back to her in exasperation. “It’s a vegetarian!” The witch couldn’t remember the fancy name for ‘plant-eater’ right now. She wasn’t sure what to make of the blond’s alarm, but it only took Nell a moment to recognize the iron that had been deposited into her hand. She still didn’t want to kill the things...but maybe she could use this to herd them. It covered more ground than her knife, anyway. Swinging the chain above her head in a wide circle, Nell moved towards the sprites with her bag in the other hand. “Get!” she yelled out of instinct, as if she were wrangling some particularly rowdy cattle. “Into the bag and I won’t singe your wings off!” Bea? What the hell? Where had Bea come from? “I don’t know who let them out. Would you care to help get them back in?”

Miriam had decided to go for a walk, her skin mostly covered as she wore a large sun hat and glasses, looking for a meal before she headed back home. She was drawn to an intense amount of misery and pain, despair coming from a particular area of town. She was curious, this much concentrated agony unusual. “That little fucker waddled away with my cappuccino!” was all Miriam heard as she stumbled upon, well, a herd. All sorts of wildlife ran amok, and she blinked against the sight of it. She should turn around. She was going to turn around. This was just a little much for even her.

Mom always said not to lose your head. She also always said that letting strangers show you things would often end up poorly. Bly had already lost their head, might as well let a stranger show them something. Plus, she wasn’t scared and it was a good idea to be with someone who wasn’t losing their shit. “Uh, yeah sure? Is it another tiger cus I’m not sure if I can deal with that. Especially after witnessing that…” They trailed off looking at the tiger feasting, it made their stomach turn.

Of course Yuca was upset, her predators were roaming about and Metzli could do close to nothing to help as long as the sun was around. People were running and screaming as they glared quietly. They opted to simply threaten, baring their teeth in a predatory show of dominance under the safety of the shadows, petting Yuca and cooing at her every so often. They needed just a little more time before they were able to bolt back home.

The wine was ignored and Bea let out a little huff through her nose. She wouldn’t offer next time then. Screwing the top back on, she placed the bottle back into her tote bag gingerly. It was a pretty nice wine. “Direct me, Nell. I don’t exactly have experience in this.” If Nell wasn’t here, deep in the fray like she always was, Bea might have considered leaving, but her sister was and so Bea couldn’t leave. “What are you going to do with the bag after you get them?”

The sprites were only too happy to listen to Sundew. With a cascade of hissing and fluttering they rose, spread and circled the room. When the iron started flying into their cluster, their humming grew louder. Yes, it was going to be a cutting kind of day after all.

Morgan nodded along to Sai’s words. “Mkay. No one is harboring stolen animals. Petting zoo. We got this. We totally got this.” She stood slowly and staggered forward. But maybe, uh—” Morgan didn’t want to broadcast that she couldn’t remember what Ibulba looked like under these circumstances, but just then, every fluffy goat in the distance looked the same. “A description so we can all be equally aware and prepared would help!” She nodded encouragingly, then stuck her hand into her bag and took out a snack to eat on her way to the goats.

Alcher walked through the animals as they gave her a wide berth, especially those one might consider prey. Even in this form, they could sense what she was and she moved like a fish through water, smooth and gliding, the child in tow. Good, they’d decided to follow. She made her way down the alley and towards the edge of the streets, where it met fields of grass and eventually grew into trees. She looked back at the child. “Not a tiger, no,” she pointed at the pack of only black and white wolves, stalking the edge of the forest. They, too, had found prey, and Alcher was eager to watch. “Watch how nature truly works. This is what the world makes of those who are weak.” Of those who are prey, like little human children.

“Everything here is weirdly quiet and mime shaped so the tapir probably eats hearts on the DL!” Chloe yelled back. When she noticed the sprites, her body trembled, remembering the time she’d seen them swarm and slaughter a nearby bird. The other thing she’d learned was that wherever there were sprites, there were pixies lording over them like a bite sized monarch. She shied further back into the street, terrified to get any closer, when suddenly the sprites grew more and more energetic, spreading out and urging into a frenzy. One zipped inches from Chloe’s face as she choked on the kind of scream banned by fae promise, unable to do so much as swat them away. “Maybe- maybe- maybe something sweet!” Fae were renowned for their sweet tooths, she knew.

Sai shoved a hand in his pocket and grabbed a handful of Parmesan cheese from the baggie in there. He covertly held the Parmesan flat on his hand while moving closer to Morgan to screen the cheese from view. The Tyromancer murmured a few phrases under his breath and the cheese grains shaped themselves into a moving perfect replica of the black horned Scapegoat. “That's her”

Bro, Mom was one hundred percent right. This was a bad idea. A messed up teaching moment. The dizziness wasn’t fading as Bly looked over the scene that this woman had lead them too. “I really, really prefer when I see nature working through a documentary.” Why had they had coffee today? That always made their anxiety spike and their anxiety was already spoke. “I mean this is metal as fuck, like maybe you should write for horror movies, but I’m not a prey animal? I’m not going to be in situations like this very often and a pack of wolves isn’t going to eat me. I’m not weak. Or like I’m not usually weak?”

Bex watched in awe as Sai shaped the cheese, a bit gleeful at the creation of it. She wondered if one day she could do something like that. Maybe not with cheese. Definitely not with cheese. She glanced up and squinted down the street towards where Morgan was headed, the heard of goats far enough away to look like a stripe of cotton on the horizon. “Okay,” she nodded and started off across the street, looking both ways and letting a heard of quick moving raccoons scuttle down the road towards the alleys before turning to head up the sidewalk. She spotted Nell and Bea and another woman dealing with the sprites and decided it was probably better to not disturb them, pulling her own magic to the edge of her fingertips in case she’d need it. “Ibulba!” she called out as she got closer, “I’ve got um-- apples for you!” Goats liked apples, right?

Nell patience was worn thin. She already had so little of it to begin with, especially these days in the wake of everything that had happened over the past few months. Without warning she whipped the iron chain hard and fast enough to slice clean through a swath of the sprites, killing them instantly as their burned halves fell to the ground. “Get in the bag while you still can.” Again it had come to violence. Was this what she was supposed to be doing? Killing sprites and helping people? But the sprites weren’t being helped. The reason she couldn’t be worthy in the way Dave had said— was it because she’d never been able to solve things without adding more violence? Trying to shake her head of the thoughts she spoke again to Bea. “I’m gonna put them in the bag and glue them to the fucking ground. Then I’ll deal with them after.” Bea wanted direction. The biggest threat was the tiger, though she seemed happy now that she’d gotten her meal. “Just herd the animals back towards the zoo. Starting with this guy-” Nell nodded in the tapir’s direction. “A shadow leash or something.” The blond’s continued fear drew Nell’s attention, and she didn’t hesitate to dissect the sprite into two, the necklace swinging inches from the woman’s face.

Alcher frowned and turned to look back at the child, golden eyes reflecting sunlight in a way human ones could not. “Oh, but you are, child,” was all she said, before she moved forward swiftly and finally ripped free of her human flesh. She wanted to join the pack, the ache of needing one too hard to resist.

There was finally a chance, a chance to run in the midst of the chaos. Everyone was doing their best to do a multitude of things. Stop the chaos, run from the chaos, and even ensuing more chaos. Normally, Metzli would be excited by their own dangerous plans, but they would never dare risk Yuca’s life like that. And so they ran as fast as they could, inconspicuously. Running past Bex, they pulled her to the side as an ostrich that was running next to them nearly trampled her. “Watch your back!” They yelled as they continued to run, and get the fuck away from the fun. It was fun they were willing to miss out on. “This doesn’t mean I like you though!” Their voice trailed off into the distance as they finally escaped with Yuca. Passing by Bly and taking the chance for a little chaos. “Watch out. There’s a leopard behind you…!” Even yelling “Made you look!” As they continued.

Ibulba was watching approvingly as the quiet petting zoo goats tore through an upscale clothing store. Stalls and hangers toppled inside the store, the destruction escalating in unlikely domino effects as some unseen force seemed to play havoc with probability. Ibulba and several other goats were munching on a delicious Marie-Chantal Miller wedding dress they’d pulled out from the shattered viewing window. But her ears perked up at her name.

Ibulba turned to face the familiar she-human who was holding an apple to her. Ibubla turned back to look, and saw the sacking of the silky human-covering place was well in hand. She trotted over to Bex, seeming at home in the surrounding anarchy, and took a prospective bite of the apple.

Bex stumbled when Metzli whizzed by her, yanking her out of the path of a storming ostrich. Scrunching her nose, she shouted back, “Yes you do!” before she reached her destination and found the clothing store in utter disarray. Well...most of the dresses were tacky, anyway. She wondered if expensive clothing tasted better than bargain bin. But Ibulba was happily trotting over to her and she held out the apple she’d had in her bag and reached out to pat her head. “Hey there,” she said casually, smiling at her. “Sai’s kinda worried about you, ya know. Can you go back to him? I think he really needs your help.” From what Bex had seen of her, and knew of her, she was fiercely protective of her spellcaster. It was the bond between familiar and caster Nell had told Bex about, and she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. “Besides, looks like your friends’ve got everything under control here.”

Shadow leash. Bea could handle that, and she could start gathering a decent amount of animals with her as she went with them. “Alright. I’ll be back when I can okay.” It was good to see Nell take charge. There was energy in her voice, a commanding tone that had been missing. “You’re doing a good job,” She said offhandedly as she subtly made a shadow leash for the tapir. The animal moved uncomfortably as it realized what she had done but she was already walking along, forcing him to follow.

VOMIT TW BEGIN

This was it, this lady was a serial killer and Bly was about to be a victim. Then her skin… changed and there was a wolf in her place and finally that bile that had been working it’s way up erupted, Bly choking on it as they let out a surprised wail. As they spit it up into the grass, someone screamed about a leopard and it took all Bly’s strength to sprint away as fast as they could. They were pretty sure they had screamed, but they were running to fast to know what left them as they reentered the chaos.

VOMIT TW END

Morgan had just enough calm to take note of the image without choking on her fried brains. “Beautiful,” she deadpanned, and shambled with Bex toward that goat.

Sundew flew somersaults into the air, faster and faster, speeding toward the ground. A big black and white furry creature sneezed and swatted at her and sent her veering off course, into Morgan’s head.

Morgan caught the pixie in the palm of her hand. She had a few irritated words lined up and ready to go when a hundred little cuts pinged on her head and back. The sprites, scattering from the threat of iron, had landed on her, and had decided to take out their aggression on her body. Morgan lurched away from Bex and Ibulba and fell on her knees.

“What was that for?” Sundew asked. She had fully expected to meet the eternal pixie night after that swipe, but the dummy boob had caught her on purpose and for absolutely no trade at all.

Morgan was a little occupied with being bitten by angry sprites. She gave Sundew a dirty glare, so clear even the pixie knew what had to be done. She gave a whistle and ordered the sprites to go home. “There, are you happy now, Dummy Boob?” She asked.

Morgan looked around, dazed and bleary eyed. “You know…maybe yeah,” she said dryly. “Come on. I’ve got a real live bad luck goat for you to meet. And a big ol farm she needs to go home to.”

From an alley, a friend was watching. It was not seen. It was not heard. But it was watching. Perhaps it, too, would one day find a companion to romp through the streets and eat with.

While the sprites rammed into Morgan, Nell saw red. With another uttering of her magic, and a tug on the bond that linked her and the witch’s familiar, Taki was blipping into existence at her side, as easily summoned as breathing air after nearly a decade of doing it. “Roast them,” she told Taki, waiting for the fiery inferno of his breath to make barbecue out of the bothersome pint-sized fae. “Morgan, duck!” A swath of flames erupted from the Ovinikk’s mouth before Nell could realize the sprites were retreating on the orders of Sundew— and the stragglers of the pack screeched as they were set ablaze.

Ibulba closed her amber eyes and concentrated for a moment. She could feel her partner’s mounting anxiety from here. When Ibubla was still a kid, she’d been presented with a young he-human. He suffered from convulsions and visions, but Ibulba has souldbounded with him nevertheless, discerning that his gentleness and diligence would provide balance to her chaos. Ibulba reached through the bond and found her human partner.

Ibulba opened her eyes, munching pensively on the apple while nodding for Bex to follow. Several petting zoo goats looked up questioningly, but Ibulba knew she’d done what she could. They must find their own freedom and delicious silky snacks now. She had a hyperventilating partner to attend to.

Ibulba wove her way unerringly through the stampedes, seeming to navigate through some superior sense of probability. She occasionally checked to see if Bex was following. Eventually she sprinted straight into her caster’s embrace, allowing him to bury his face and mumble inane worried things into her wooly fur.

Relieved, Bex followed Ibulba back to Sai, who grabbed her and hugged her so gratefully, it was as if they’d been parted for years. Or, perhaps, that their distance had pained him. She heard Nell’s familiar voice, too, and looked up from Sai and Ibulba, watching as Taki opened his mouth and let out a roar of flames. Something heavy fell in Bex’s stomach as she heard the anguished cries of the small butterfly critters. Winced and looked away, deciding that keeping her focus on Sai and Ibulba was the best idea. “C’mon, we should maybe get her back to the farm,” she ushered, looking back over her shoulder at Nell and wondering if she noticed her, too. She looked angry. Bex wished she could reach out with her own magic and help calm her down, but that wasn’t within her grasp yet. She patted Ibulba’s head again and smiled at Sai as best she could. “Maybe invest in a leash, too,” she teased.

There was little left of the tiger’s prey as her stomach became overly full. Still, it was so good, so fresh. She would not waste it. And, as the humans’ sounds grew louder, she would not be caught again. No more cages. No more bars. Only fresh, warm prey. She grabbed what was left by its leg and began dragging it off, away from the noise. She would finish it later, after some peace and quiet and freedom.

“T-t-the tiger,” one of the zoo keepers, scrawny and trembling and a voice that was beginning to fail every few words, managed to say. They were a new hire. They’d find their words eventually. Or perhaps lose them. They pointed in the direction of where the tiger had gone, but it was too late to go after her with all the other chaos on the loose. They would have to follow the blood smears and hope it led them to her. After all, how hard would it be to locate a white tiger?

It was all gloved hands on deck as the rest of the zoo keepers, along with some of White Crest’s finest joined together with tranquilizers and began systematically and, for the most part, silently dispatching animals to get them sent back to the zoo. It would be hard work, but it would be done.

While the tiger wandered off, Anara Kingston took inventory of the wreckage that had been done to the front of her bistro, the lemurs that were still flipping the bird to anyone who so much as glanced in their direction, and the actual birds that were fluttering around with teeth that looked a little too human. Hold on. Birds didn’t have teeth, did they? It didn’t matter anymore. With a resigned sigh she turned back towards the sign she’d been so proud to display, sullenly erasing the number on it, changing it to read ‘0 days since last accident.’

#chatzy #wickedswriting #wcw

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lucifer0sf1r3 · 2 years

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I posted 160 times in 2021

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For every post I created, I reblogged 16.8 posts.

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#wdym billie and rivers bout to get their legs spread billies just a bratty little boy

My Top Posts in 2021

Ok, so. New Frerard ideas!🌹💀🌹

1: FRERARD VAMPIRE AU

Gee is thy vampire, because he is one, and they're adults and in the band still. Fronkie is just friends with him, until he's attacked by Gerard one night when he couldn't control his thirst. Gee tries to convince him that he won't do it again, and the relationship builds onnnn❤👌🌹💀

2: teehee. TroubLe-

Fronkie and Gee were a couple but not to the public, and have broken up. Gerard is doing ok, although he can't seem to find anyone who made him as happy as Frank did. Since they weren't ever public or actually even 'official', they both stayed in the band besides the obvious tension or awkwardness it caused and they tried to hide it so no drama happened with fans trying to talk about them. Frank isn't taking it as well, since being more sarcastic and cold. He talks to Ray about it all mostly.🌹💀💔

Obv im in an angsty mood please Like, Comment, or DM if you're interested!

3 notes • Posted 2021-11-13 04:39:33 GMT

Warning: extremely desperate post here cause im so bored help

IM SO BORED LITERALLY SOMEONE RP WITH ME PLEASE THATS IT BYE 👋

3 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 02:11:29 GMT

Wattpad: TemporaryBoyfriend

Instagram: _mikey_wait_

You can also find me here! I'd rather RP with these two or twitter, however I prefer to share my twitter in DMs!

3 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 12:06:49 GMT

DANGER DAYS AU FRERARD DANGER DAYS AU FRERARD PLEASE.SOMEONE DM .ME IM BORED AND DANGER DAYS AU FRERARD DANGER D

5 notes • Posted 2021-11-19 06:25:11 GMT

Frerard Rp Ideas👀❤✨🌹

*i call frank and mikey✨

I love love love the idea of Gerard ignoring Frank in high school because he thinks Frank doesn't know him and therefore can't like him for who he really is so he won't go out with him until Frank really convinces him

I like the idea of Frank and Gee hesitantly dating and then one loses trust in the other whether its

·Dared dating/one finds out

·Payed to date/one finds out

·Promises not to leave but does/comes back

·Misunderstandings

I love the idea of Frank being bullied and not having any friends but Gerard hears a tiny man in a locker and helps him out and they form a friendship

If you want to rp- comment on this post, like the post, dm me here, or dm on one of my other socials(on a diff post) and say you're from Tumblr!

Please I'm bored❤👀

12 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 17:15:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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bbodysnatchers · 3 years

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Hi, it’s the anon w the questions again.

So you’ve said you were pretty out of the fandom by Danger Days, but what did you think of Conventional Weapons?

Someone on TikTok has said something about how the band felt like it was winding down after Danger Days, especially following the acoustic set that they did. Did you get that sense too or were you a bit too out of the loop to pick up on that?

You’ve also said that ppl had a very one dimensional understanding of the band members bc of a lack of social media. What personalities did fans assign them?

What were the fan favorites off of Bullets, Revenge, and Black Parade back in the day? I feel like the favorites have changed since I joined the fandom which was like a decade after you, so I imagine the difference is greater.

Was there a lot of fandom drama back in the day? I feel like there was some in my early days but the fandom is so reduced now that the drama I’ve seen is pretty much down to “x is a cash grab”.

I love you, anon!! I love these SO much! I was totally out when Conventional Weapons was released, but listening to it now I honestly think there are only like 2 or 3 good songs? don't @ me ok. I'm so glad they shelved it, it was NOT strong at all and doesn't represent them or their talents. I can't comment on that at all ): I was totally out at that point. I'm sorry about that ): Oh shit! You can absolutely ABSOLUTELY see it in early fic from like 2005-2006, and it still holds up to this day. also a LOT of it was based on how they appeared in LOTMS: The perception of Gerard changed a bit! People thought he was very flamboyant, a drama queen, etc - based on his stage persona. Or that he was quiet nerd who was ~alluring. It was a lot of projection, tbh. Frank - a total shit head, clown, menace, wild, constantly annoying bob. Mikey - all knowing man whore who barely talks Ray - goofy genius, light hearted, the guy who keeps them all in check? Shit ok - I'm just gonna base this off of mine and my friends favorites? Bullets - def Sorrows, Vampires, and Honey Revenge - hard to pinpoint? Give em Hell, Prison, Fashion Statement, Cemetery Drive TBP - Dead, FLW, Mama, House of Wolves Honestly no, barely any at all. Interacting with people wasn't immediate like it is today, and was all on forums and such. There was absolutely drama within the band friend groups and shit that we ate the fuck up, but everyone was pretty friendly and good with each other. The first time I ever got actual hate and shit was when I revived this blog 🙃. There'd be minor disagreements but never ever drama - we didn't interact enough to build parasocial relationships. You had your little friend group and such, but that's it. The internet wasn't as personal back then. (based on all my own personal experience)

#old bandom #long post #ask #anon

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ladyramora · 4 years

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My brain is full of dumb ideas today and you were the first person I could think of to share with so please consider: a vampire with a crush on the WoL (I'm thinking Zenos or Haurchefant, but anyone could work really) doing something dumb and reckless like sneaking out when the sun is just barely setting and they are still weak and in mortal danger because they must see the WoL. They just can't stay away, the crush is too strong.

"Are you two out of your damn minds?!" The Warrior of Light snarls, yanking Zenos inside to safety and out of the deadly sunlight. By the gods, the sun had only just begun to set!

Zenos frowns, folding up his umbrella, hanging up his wide brimmed hat and peeling off the long gloves shielding his skin from the deadly rays of the sun. "Two?"

The Warrior rolls their eyes and jerks a thumb over their shoulder.

Zenos glances over, curious. And then scowls to find Greystone had again beaten him here. Not without cost to him, it seemed. Zenos was pleased to note the fading charring on the elezen lord's skin. He is covered in a blanket, the faint smell of burned fibers wafting through the air along with something else. Something tantalizing. Something that made Zenos's mouth water and fangs descend. There is a mug in Greystone's hands, and when he looks up and spots Zenos standing just inside the door, his resulting smile is stained red.

Zenos snarls, whirling on his friend; his enemy. He spies the bandage on their arm, and is filled with such jealousy that his vampire face rushes to the fore. "You gave him your blood?!" He demands, snatching at their arm.

The Warrior scowls at him. "I did. Because he almost turned himself into a big pile of dust!"

Haurchefant, unrepentant, raises his mug up, offering it to Zenos. "Want some?"

The Warrior levels him with a frown. "No, Haurchefant. That's yours. You need it to heal."

Haurchefant beams and continues sipping contentedly.

Zenos glowers, disgusted, and shoves his hand under the nearest light blocking drapery covering the Warrior's windows. He grinds his fangs as his hand instantly starts to smoke.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" His beast demands, tearing him away from the window and staring down at his now terribly charred hand.

Zenos stares down at them, blue eyes scarily intense. The eyes of a monster. "Will you give him your blood and not I? Am I not worthy?"

They groan, shaking their head. "What did I do to deserve this..?" They sigh and move towards their kitchen. Glancing back at Zenos when he does not follow. "Are you coming or not?"

Zenos follows. Remaining silent even as the hero mutters to themself about needy, annoying vampires.

…

Zenos frown down at the mug in his hands, burned fingers flexing and tapping along the glass. He would much prefer to drink from the source.

"Drink it before it gets cold," the hero mutters. "I'm not giving you more, or letting you bite me."

Zenos tongues a fang, annoyed, and raises the cup to his lips. He groans, long and low, sounding very much lustful as the first few drops touch his tongue. "Yess," the Garlean prince hisses, tongue swiping over the red coating his lips.

The Warrior watches him, a little disturbed. They glance to Haurchefant, who meets their stare with an eye crinkling smile. "Does my blood make you horny?" They ask, just wondering at that reaction.

Haurchefant nods. "Oh, yes, definitely."

Their eyebrows are up. "But you're not moaning like that?"

Haurchefant perks up, blue eyes gone hooded. Fangs peeking over his smiling lips. "Would you like me to? Rest assured, the desire is there, dear heart."

Blood rushes deliciously to their cheeks and they shake their head. "Wh… Ah, n.. no, that's fine. Good to know, I guess." Gods, would Zenos stop moaning over there?

They shoot the Garlean a flustered glare. And only feel weirder to see Zenos licking out the mug with his longer vampire tongue. Weirdo.

"Savor every last drop," Haurchefant says with a nod and proceeds to do the same thing.

The hero sighs and wonders why they had invited these two into their home in the first place.

Oh, right. The attention.

Speaking of. Haurchefant had set his mug aside, finished first, and prowls closer. Taking the Warrior's hand in his as he presses kisses up from their knuckles over the back of their hand and up their arm. "Dear heart," he purrs, nuzzling his face into their skin. "You have our deepest thanks. Truly, you are too lovely and generous beyond words. And positively delicious besides!"

The Warrior shifts, flustered, but allowing Haurchefant's affections to continue. It felt nice to be appreciated.

"The Ishgardian is right," Zenos murmurs. The hero startles at feeling the fan of his breath on their skin. He had come so close and they had not heard him move. His lips press into their neck, and the Warrior shivers, but warns, "No biting without permission. Or I'll break you again."

Zenos chuckles, licking at them, but agrees. "Yes, my beast. As you say."

The hero relaxes, caught between them. Allowing Haurchefant to kiss up to their shoulder and then to their neck, pressing kisses there. Fangs gently scraping, sucking at their flesh. Far more than they allowed Zenos. Because the Garlean was much too fond of biting. The last time he had tried they had broken his spine. An annoyance for a vampire, but he had gotten better. If only because Haurchefant had taken pity on the other vampire and allowed him to feed from him. Zenos had not been gentle.

The hero frowns thinking of it, and pets gently at Haurchefant's hair. The elezen hums happily, his arms winding around them.

Zenos huffs, and rubs his hand over the hero's shirt. Trailing down and then rucking up the fabric to feel at their bare skin. Possessive.

#ladyramora writes #vampire husbands au #haurchefant greystone #zenos yae galvus #ambiguous wol #clingy vamps are clingy #WoL is a legit snack

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sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart · 3 years

Text

The best and worst films of 2020

Let’s be honest - 2020 was an extremely shitty year for moviegoers everywhere, as the Queen would say an annus horribilis.

Due to the Covid pandemic’s dramatic impact on nearly every facet of human life, cinemas closed, film festivals went virtual and film productions became an intricate mess of insurance and safety challenges.

Yet despite these dire challenges and an unpredictable future, cinema remained very much alive throughout the year, with a wide range of ambitious undertakings snaking their way into whatever form of release seemed viable. Blockbusters receded to the background, allowing a wide range of movies to trickle through an uncertain marketplace that would have been hostile to them even in pre-pandemic times.

So what cinematic gems and unmitigated disasters were dropped upon audiences during the year?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration...

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

THE CURRENT WAR - THE LIGHTHOUSE - IN FABRIC - BEING FRANK: THE CHRIS SIEVEY STORY (D) - BOMBSHELL - THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON - THE SOCIAL DILEMMA (D) - LIGHT OF MY LIFE - THE ASSISTANT - THE LODGE - THE GENTLEMEN - THE WAY BACK - DARK WATERS - 1917 - THE BURNT ORANGE HERESY - THE HUNT

2020′S TOP TEN BEST FILMS

10. THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW

Hot off the critical success of his debut feature ‘Thunder Road,’ writer-director Jim Cummings’ refreshing yet effective take on the werewolf genre amped up the dark comedy whilst delivering quite a few chills. Tinged with realistically flawed characters and clever scares, ‘The Wolf of Snow Hollow’ might not have been your typical werewolf flick but it successfully managed to bring that classic legend to life once again.

9. LET HIM GO

Previously last seen together as Clark Kent’s adoptive parents in ‘Man of Steel,’ Diane Lane and Kevin Costner were reunited onscreen as husband and wife again in writer-director Thomas Bezucha’s neo-Western drama ‘Let Him Go.’ Adapted from author Larry Watson’s 2013 novel, the film featured stunning landscapes, full-blooded moments of sudden violence and compelling performances from Diane Lane, Kevin Costner and, most memorably, Lesley Manville’s turn as a gritty and cunning matriarch.

8. COLOUR OUT OF SPACE

Based on the classic short story by HP Lovecraft and featuring another scene-stealing performance from Nicolas Cage, this clever adaptation was an effective horror film with an unrelentingly grim sci-fi bent. In addition to the truly disturbing and inspired images of queasy body horror, ‘Colour Out of Space’ also marked the eagerly-anticipated re-emergence of filmmaker Richard Stanley (his first time back in the director’s chair since being fired from his 1996 remake ‘The Island of Dr Moreau’).

7. THE INVISIBLE MAN

Who knew a remake could be so refreshing? With this updated take on the H.G. Wells tale, writer-director Leigh Whannell did just about everything right, delivering a tense, clever thriller with touches of both horror and sci-fi. As the fascinatingly flawed yet appealing tough protagonist, Elisabeth Moss gave a captivating performance in a film that was chilling in all the right ways, packed with plenty of twists and a deliciously nasty resolution.

6. THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (NETFLIX)

Whilst the subject matter of ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7′ shared an uncanny relevance to today’s politically charged times, as a gripping courtroom drama with a stellar cast, the film ticked all the boxes. ‘West Wing’ creator Aaron Sorkin put his trademark traits - razor-sharp wit, rhetorical flair and political insight - to very good use in this masterful retelling of the trial following the 1968 anti-war protests outside the Democratic National Convention.

5. HEARTS AND BONES

In his debut feature film, Australian director Ben Lawrence created a spiritually rich and immersive drama about the relationship between a grizzled, broken war photographer and a Sudanese refugee. Whilst Hugo Weaving was note-perfect in his portrayal as a crumbling man wrestling with his past, equally impressive was first time actor Andrew Luri who delivered a quiet yet memorable performance in what was an affecting piece of cinema.

4. TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL (DOCUMENTARY)

Watching a documentary about the COVID-19 crisis in the middle of a global pandemic might not sound appealing but prolific filmmaker Alex Gibney’s latest work was easily the most essential non-fiction film of 2020. Shot safely in secret for five months, ‘Totally Under Control’ played out like a tightly-wound thriller as it placed the Trump Administration’s inept response to the coronavirus pandemic under the microscope.

3. BAD EDUCATION (HBO)

As far as crime stories go, embezzlement isn’t always the most thrilling subject. However, ‘Bad Education’ turned a relatively simple white collar crime story about a New Jersey school administrator caught stealing money into a compelling drama, thanks to an incisive and nimble script and spot on performances from Allison Janney, Geraldine Viswanathan, Ray Romano and especially Hugh Jackman.

2. MANK (NETFLIX)

Director David Finch’s dazzling portrait of Herman J. ‘Mank’ Mankiewicz, the screenwriter who collaborated with wunderkind filmmaker Orson Welles to write the first draft of ‘Citizen Kane,’ was a cinematic jewel from start to finish. Similar to last year’s ‘Once Upon A Time in...Hollywood,’ ‘Mank’ delivered a layered depiction of the filmmaking process, whilst Gary Oldman continued to excel at immersing himself in playing real-life characters, this time as the hard-drinking, intellectual screenwriter.

1. NOMADLAND

Writer-director Chloe Zhao’s intimate drama about an unemployed widow living as a van-dwelling modern-day nomad was a thoughtful, contemplative and reflective piece of storytelling. It may have touched upon mature themes about loneliness, financial instability and restlessness, but ‘Nomadland’ remained an uplifting and hopeful piece of cinema that captured the various bittersweet reasons people choose to live a life on the road.

With an outstanding performance from Frances McDormand, brought to life through the charm of the ‘real life’ supporting cast, great direction and Joshua James Richard’s mesmerising cinematography, ‘Nomadland’ was the perfect film for 2020.

...AND NOW THE WORST!

DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS

VAMPIRES VS THE BRONX - BAD BOYS FOR LIFE - THE OLD GUARD - PROJECT POWER - ISN’T IT ROMANTIC - THE RHYTHM SECTION - WHERE’D YOU GO, BERNADETTE - I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS - MIDWAY - YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT - BABY DONE - FORCE OF NATURE - CAPONE - THE NEW MUTANTS - DOOLITTLE

10. WONDER WOMAN 1984

To quote Red Letter Media’s resident film critic Mike Stoklasa, “this movie was the cinematic equivalent of the Bluesmobile.” Directed by Patty Jenkins, this 80′s-set sequel to the 2017 DC superhero hit was lethargically paced and featured a completely bonkers narrative that made absolutely no sense. Horribly scripted, disjointed and overstuffed (a runtime of 2.5 hours), ‘Wonder Woman 1984′ sadly jettisoned everything that made Jenkins’ original film so compelling. The result? An appalling misfire.

9. THE GRUDGE

A curiously talented and interesting cast were somehow lured into - and subsequently wasted in - this pointless, tired, reboot/revival of the long-running ‘Ju-On’ Japanese-based horror series. Despite director NIcholas Pesce’s attempt to disguise the rudimentary nature of the plot via back-and-forth timeline jumping, ‘The Grudge’ was just a formulaic paint-by-the-numbers meander through a poorly developed story that existed only to prop up a bunch of uninspired jump scares.

8. BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN)

There are many movies that have no reason to exist - and this latest misfire from DC Comics was one of them. Directed by Cathy Yan, ‘Birds of Prey’ was a mire of uninspired ideas and recycled genre conventions that got old real quick. Penned by Christina Hodson (’Bumblebee’ being the ‘highlight’ on her resume), the script was as simplistic as it was thin, with needless subplots merely introduced to inflate the film to a decent running time. Even Margot Robbie’s manic performance as the ‘Mistress of Mayhem’ couldn’t save this mess.

7. JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

What could’ve been a dream film for fans of these two classic stoner characters instead was nothing but a string of cameos and callbacks in a plot-less bore. Director Kevin Smith sucked all the life and fun out of this watered-down story, that suffered from a constant series of awkward and forced jokes that were painfully unfunny. An unfortunate stinker.

6. AVA

This latest foray into the ‘female assassin for hire’ genre was about as cliched as you could get. An emotionally troubled female killer whose male mentor assumes the role of the surrogate father? Check. Pounding dance music score? Check. Obligatory nightclub fight sequence? Check. Confused love interest? You betcha! Humourless, dry and uninspired, ‘Ava’ played out like a poor man’s ‘La Femme Nikita.’

5. FANTASY ISLAND

Hollywood’s obsession with repackaging Gen-X childhoods continued with this absurd attempt to reboot the classic 1970′s TV series as a low-budget horror joint under the Blumhouse label. At a dangerously close two hour runtime, there was simply nothing interesting about the film’s characters or its inane plot about a mystical island that grants wishes (a’la ‘The Monkey’s Paw’). Our advice? Turn ‘de plane’ around if you ever plan to visit this ‘Fantasy Island.’

4. ARTEMIS FOWL

For every ‘Harry Potter’ that explodes into the public consciousness, there always seems to be a dozen or more failed franchises. Sadly, Disney’s ‘Artemis Fowl’ found itself in the latter category. Director Kenneth Branagh’s dull and superficial attempt to transfer this popular children’s book series from page to screen suffered from a lack of character development, an over-reliance in CG effects and featured a lifeless performance from newcomer Ferdia Shaw as the titular character.

3. HUBIE HALLOWEEN (NETFLIX)

A month before last year’s Oscar nominations were released, Adam Sandler joked on ‘The Howard Stern Show’ that if the Academy snubbed him for his role in the film ‘Uncut Gems,’ he would make a movie “that [was] so bad on purpose.” And that’s exactly what happened. Supposedly a comedy, ‘Hubie Halloween’ was unfunny, disposable and completely devoid of any originality. Sadly for audiences, Sandler signed a four-movie deal with Netflix last year, worth up to $275 million - so we can expect to see more of this shit soon!

2. ALIEN ADDICTION

Aliens visit New Zealand and get high smoking human faeces? Someone should have advised Kiwi director Shae Sterling that audiences have moved on from such puerile comedies as this abomination. Suffice to say, if anybody ever admitted to finding this film remotely funny, they’d probably be outcast from society. An embarrassment to all those involved.

1. THE BEACH BUM

Director Harmony Korine’s generic stoner comedy about a prolific poet who drifts through life in a drug-induced haze had all the natural high of an unfiltered, soggy joint and was easily, hands down, 2020′s worst film.

‘The Beach Bum’ was a pretentious and uninteresting movie whose lead character, considered to be an ‘artistic genius,’ was nothing more than a relentless shithead to everyone around him. As Moondog, the semi-naked, bongo-playing, pot-fuelled beat poet, Matthew McConaughey was insufferable and grating in his portrayal of a character you would quite easily want to punch in the face - repeatedly. Blazed and confused, ‘The Beach Bum’ had no plot, no class and no entertainment value whatsoever.

MOVIE POSTERS

From the classic to the abstract, here is just a sample of some of the best poster designs from a highly unusual year of movies.

...AND FINALLY, WHEN WHEN IT COMES TO DIRE-LOG, THEY SAID WHAT!?

“I've never wanted anything more. But he's gone, and that's the truth. And everything has a price. One I'm not willing to pay. Not any more. This world was a beautiful place, just as it was, and you cannot have it all. You can only have the truth. And the truth is enough. The truth is beautiful” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

And who could forget this little chestnut of advice...

“That is the only truth and truth is all there is. You cannot be the winner because you are not ready to win. And there is no shame in that. Only in knowing the truth in your heart and not accepting it. No true hero is born from lies” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

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