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fansofvow · 3 years

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Interview with Eve Golden Woods!

Many of you know who is Eve is. She's a writer and artist, a part of Dreamfeel studios whose beautiful game If Found won Best LGBTQ Narrative and Best LGBTQ Indie game at the first ever Gayming Awards presented by EA games. I am really excited I had the chance to ask Eve some questions about herself, her time at Lovestruck and her creative process.

Congratulations on the two Gayming Awards (Best LGBTQ Narrative, Best LGBTQ Indie Game) for "If Found" from your game studio, Dreamfeel. What was the inspiration behind making the game?

If Found... was a game that emerged out of a collaboration between Llaura McGee, the founder of Dreamfeel, and artist Liadh Young. Liadh's background is as a comic artist, and so when they started working together Llaura had the idea of showing off Liadh's art by making a diary game, and using an erasing mechanic she had previously developed to let the player move through the diary in a fun way. By the time I came on board at the start of 2019, the game had already been in development for a while, so in some ways my work on that game was similar to the work I did for Voltage, because it was taking existing characters and concepts and writing a lot of scripts for them. Unlike Voltage, though, my work for Dreamfeel was a lot more collaborative and I had a lot more creative input. I really enjoy taking something and helping to make it the best version of itself that it can possibly be, but I was also really happy that I got to reflect a lot of my own experiences in If Found. Llaura and I both grew up on the west coast of Ireland, and although If Found... isn't autobiographical for either of us, it was definitely really meaningful to be able to tell a story that reflected our own experiences of growing up as queer teens in a similar kind of environment. Since the game came out we've had fans reach out to us and tell us that they also connected to the experiences of the main characters, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes me feel like I achieved everything I wanted to.

You are a writer and a visual artist. Does one come easier to you than the other?

I used to think of art and writing as talents, and I always felt like my art was at a very mediocre level (that's probably still true, lol). So when I was younger I focused a lot more on writing. It was only later that I started genuinely trying to improve as an artist, but when I did, I think I had a much healthier mindset, and approached it as a skill I could learn with patience and effort. Because of that, even though I still have a lot more confidence in my writing, I find art more fun and relaxing, and I don't stress about it as much.

Did you always know you would follow a creative path?

Kind of? Both my parents are artists, and I grew up surrounded by artists and writers, so it was something that was always very familiar and accessible to me. On the other hand, I didn't exactly have a clear idea of how to make it into a career, or what kind of work would be involved. But there's never been a point in my life where I wasn't doing something creative, even if it was only writing fanfiction.

What did your path to working professionally as a writer/artist look like?

I did a creative writing masters in college, but after that I spent years teaching English as a second language. That was really fun and I got to live abroad, but it was so busy and tiring that I didn't have time to do any writing outside of the occasional fanfic. I only started to take art seriously again when I became interested in games and comics as ways of telling stories. I did some critical writing, which led me to speak at a few local events and get involved in zine fairs. That was how I met Llaura, the director and lead of the Dreamfeel studio, and it's also what gave me the confidence to start applying for actual writing jobs.

Is there any work of art, visual or written, that you look to for inspiration?

So many! I try to read and watch as widely as I can, although there are touchstones I always return to, like the works of Ursula Le Guin and Terry Pratchett. Right now I feel very passionate about the actual play podcast Friends at the Table, which manages to combine really thoughtful worldbuilding and storytelling with cool, fun characters and great action scenes. I'm also reading a book called The Memory Police by Youko Ogawa, which has extremely beautiful prose.

Do you have a favorite piece of your own art, whether it is something you’ve drawn, a screenshot of something you’ve written or something else?

My favourite piece of art is usually whatever I finished most recently (I think that's true for a lot of people). Especially with visual art, once a bit of time has gone by you look back on it and start to notice all your mistakes, which is very annoying. But actually I do still really like the first piece of Fiona fanart I did last year. I managed to use some effects to give it a kind of nineties anime quality that I find really fun, and I think it conveys an emotion pretty effectively. That's always one of the hardest things to predict with visual art, whether the different parts will come together to create the exact mood you're looking for.

I also really like the compass I did for Bycatch. Krissy (@xekstrin) was the one who suggested filling it with fingernails, which was such a good, gross idea! As soon as I heard that I knew it was perfect and that I had to try and draw it.

Many people who read this blog know you as a writer for Lovestruck. When you look back on your time there, what stands out in your mind?

Lovestruck was very important to me when I first started because it was my first ongoing, regular, paid writing work. It gave me a lot of confidence and helped me to get into the habit of writing consistently and rapidly, which is a really useful skill to have. I know I was right to leave when I did, though, because I am just brimming with energy to work on my own projects, and channeling that power into something that you can't control will always end up disappointing you. Also, I made a ton of incredible friends, through Lovestruck itself but then even more so through VOW (@vowtogether), and that is more than worth all the difficult parts.

Is there any character that you would have liked a crack at writing?

Oh gosh, what a fun question! There are so many, but one I do sometimes think about is Axia, just because I know there are a bunch of fans who want her route, and because I had fun writing her as a villain in Zain's route. I can see in my head the shadow of a storyline that takes place after Zain's route is over, where she's in prison and trying to understand how she lost the battle with Zain and MC. I think there's, like, a gap there, where you could see her downfall forcing her to reconsider her assumptions about power, and that could build into a very interesting redemption story. But maybe it's for the best I never got to do that, because I would have wanted full creative control over it, and also I think the story in my head is very different to the sexy, in control, menacing version of Axia that her fans enjoy.

Do you have any upcoming projects you can talk about?

Most of my current work is under NDA, but I will say that I'm doing something very exciting with other VOW members that we should be able to talk about soon(ish). Maybe I can even give a little teaser... It's not a game, but it is something you can read, and my part involves cakes, swamps, and a museum.

Do you have a favorite quote or song lyric?

It's a big long, but there's a section from The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin that has stayed with me ever since I read it:

"For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think."

It's such a profoundly radical way of imagining the world, so different to everything I was raised with, but whenever I think about it I feel like I can see something very beautiful and powerful that I hope to come closer to understanding some day.

And of course, "Solidarity forever, the union makes us strong."

I was a big fan of the show Inside the Actor’s Studio. Host James Lipton asked every single guest the same 10 concluding questions. I’ve picked 3 of them:

-What is your favorite word?

My favourite word: for sound, I like words you can really roll around on your tongue. Chthonic, alabaster, insinuation. For meaning, I think simple words that encapsulate big concepts have a kind of power to them. We use them so often we forget how big they are, how much weight they really have, but they give us the space to imagine new possibilities. Love. Freedom. Revolution.

-What is your least favorite word?

I've heard that "moist" is a lot of people's least favourite word but it doesn't actually bother me. My least favourite word is probably one where I feel like the sound doesn't match the meaning. One of the Irish words for rain is báisteach, which I feel has a much weightier and more onomatopoeic sound than rain. Rain is just very flat and uninteresting.

-What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Oh, so many! I love history, and I think being a historian/archaeologist would be fascinating. Or something that had a physical component to it, like being a potter or a carpenter. I don't think I'd be any good, but I'd love to take the time to learn.

What would be your advice to anyone who wants to pursue a creative career?

All the work you do matters. Even the failed experiments, the things you hate when they're finished. It all helps to make you better. Also, creative career paths are often really unexpected, so chase any opportunity that seems remotely interesting. Don't work for free for anyone who can afford to pay, but work for yourself and put it somewhere. On a blog, twitter, whatever. You'd be amazed how many people get noticed and get offered opportunities because of something they made in their spare time. You'll probably have to work another job for a long time, so don't be hard on yourself if you're too tired to devote much energy to creative work. Try to make art consistently, but don't feel like that has to mean every day. Don't chase after celebrities. Make friends with your peers.

#vowtogether #vow interview #writing #art #lovestruck #dreamfeel #iffound #gayming #gaming #mod atlas

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macaronnya · 3 years

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So I just saw the announcement about the EN server shutting down or at least dicontinued (hopefully just for now) and I might just burst into tears 🥲 I want to put my thoughts or rather feelings of the journy up until now on here to come down but maybe also as some form of comfort for anyone who needs it? It's very long and might have some broken english as it's not my first language so do keep it in mind please 😅

Anyways, I started A3! last year on march 7th because I saw a youtube video of people cosplaying Sakuya and Sakyo. At taht point, I already knew of A3! somewhere in my distant memories back when it was JP only. I decided to try out the game since I was getting bored of my current mobile games and the few reviews I could find of it were relatively positive. I had no idea just what a big part of my life this game was about the become 🤧

Btw I'm listening to some A3! songs right now, specifically Sakuya's 2nd character song, and it's not helping me 😢 So at the time, lockdown just started 2 days ago, which left me with a lot of time playing it and, I kid you not, I gulfed the main story down like it was the last slice of cake at home. I have 2 siblings. I think I finished it in a week or so despite it being only unlockable through leveling up, and if my memory serves me right, you need to be around lvl 75 to unlock all 4 episodes. As one can see, I was VERY invested in the story. It was just so....nice? I don't know how to exactly describe it but I was surprised by how likable everyone was. Of course I didn't hold such strong feelings for everyone back then as I do now but I was intrigued enough back then of nearly everyone, which is kind of rather rare in such types of games, no? At least for me it is, although I haven't played terribly a lot (Love Live, MLQC, Mystic Messenger).

I really like how the story actually continues through the events and how it alternated between stories exploring certain characters more (show events) and stories focusing on just them having fun. Getting to know everyone bit by bit and seeing how everyone grows closer to each other, not only within their respective troupes but the whole theater, makes me really all warm and fuzzy and it's found family, what more could you want?

Also, I really like Izumi, our dear MC 🥰 Even though she's supposed to be our self-insert, I found myself really enjoying reading her thoughts, observing her reactions to other characters' shenanigans (like her 'I do not see' to the members plan of faking their identity to bail Citron out lol) and just....her personality. Trying not to digress here but she has a lot more personality than other MCs in these joseimuke games and it makes her interactions with others not only bearable but even enjoyable. I'm not saying that this is what a perfect MC looks like or that she's superior to bland self-inserts. After all, it depends on the story, gameplay and other things. It's just a nice bonus I'm very grateful for. I mean, I got really emotional when Izumi performed with the other staff members all of the plays the actors have put out so far for the first anniversary. Her realizing she gained a new dream for her lost one just really took my heart, broke it in thousand pieces and then mended it again.

I also love A3! songs ❤ I did wonder how they would work in this franchise since it's not about idols but actors, though I guess there was nothing to worry about. I really like the duets because it's always a different duo and hearing them singing together, harmonizing with each other, complimenting each other, just fills me with undescribable joy. Of course the songs also slap pretty much every time. Even by limiting my options to 1 troupe, I still wouldn't be able to pick only one favourite (I like the majority of Winter's song tho, like Shoutai is just 🤌 and my sibling blasted Unmasked non-stop so I can't get it outta my head anymore). Gosh, I was so excited for 'Double Solitaire' since it would complete trilogy of the Hyodosakas singing together. I was really looking forward to getting all the songs and I was even saving up for Summer Troupe's 6th play.

If I had to describe the game A3! in one word, it'd be "charming". Coming to game itself, there are so many little quirks, that on their own aren't anything groundbreaking or big but together give the game its own flair. Live 2D is pretty common to see nowdays in games because it brings the characters to life through movements like 3D models. But I think A3! is able to illustrate it just as well, if not even better with their 2D sprites. Citron moonwalked by flipping the image over and sliding across the screen, Hisoka appeared out of nowhere by coming from above the screen, they do a little jump when they're happy, they go down a bit when they're sad. And that's just things with their whole sprite. The little drops when Tsuzuru finds himself in an awkward situation or is worried, the little note when Sakuya is happy, the hearts when Kazunari is lowkey flirting with Izumi, it's so cute! Or Omi's O.O face, Taichi's crying face (the usual one, not his face when he cried out of guilt of betraying Mankai), Yuki's done expression, H O M A R E AHA! They each have at least one personalized expression and also quote. Can you hear Kazunari's Yoropiko~☆, Citron's humming, Taichi's loud ass whining and scream of terror, Tsumugi's awkawrd laugh? It's brimming with life.

But also the UI (?how it looks) is joyful. The main screen's background cascading shapes changes depending from which Troupe your current character is from, the loading screen has sakura petals and a bird, the colors are very bright and saturated fitting to the overall color palette of the whole game, the little notebook during practice showing all the necessary infomation and a little sketch by the characters. It's just really charming.

As frustrating as it was, not getting halloween Tsuzuru after 110 pulls or Valentine Omi after 120, it was my first time ever understanding why gachas are called hellholes. Through my strong connections to the characters, their cards automatically appealed to me more. But the art is also so good???? Azuma is always looking flawless obviously but Omi's unbloomed Wolf card, where he is standing in the sunset looking at his camera or Kazunari's Shinobi card, unbloomed all concentrated on his panting and bloomed all shiny smiling like the fireworks in the background? Breathtaking everytime. I also appreciate it not needing multiple copies to unlock the whole backstage story.

I think I'm slowly running out of things to say, which might be good for whoever managed to come this far. I have to say though, A3! helped me through the pandemic. Being a perfect distraction to the world's chaos and more importantly my crushing schoolwork and worries for personal future. I'm a very pessimistic person but seeing the characters overcoming their hardships through the help of their to-be "family" and just being happy doing trouble, gave me a little hope and light for a bit every day. I came to cherish everyone, even those I like the least. I haven't felt like this since Mystic Messenger, which was also a game, that helped me through a difficult time. I can only wish to a shooting star, that it's not the end for the EN Server yet. While yes, the JP server is thriving and I could just switch to reading fantranslation, through my experience, my enjoyment considerably sinks playing like that and I wish to fully enjoy A3!.

Anyways thanks for reading (maybe again). Sorry for all the possible errors on the way here. I'm writing everything directly without too much thought. If you want, you can also share your experiences in the comments. It's always nice to share good memories with others.

Edit: I accidentally posted it already but I wasn't actually done 😓 When I said I had a lot to let out, I meant A LOT

#a3!#i will never forget a3!#in the end i never managed to get halloween and groom Tsuzuru

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my-happy-little-bean · 3 years

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The Bookkeeper – Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Signature Of All Things

pairings: logicality, prinxiety words: 3453 chapter warnings: mild existentialism chapter summary: talks of philosophy, tea, and a smidge of jealousy.

[read on ao3] [masterlist]

< previous chapter

–

Fray and Far Fables was filled with flowers.

It was clear that there had been some attempt to hide them, but the flowers were indeed there. Daisies squirmed between the floorboards, pink and lilac petals were flattened under rugs, and strings of ivy were draping off of the shelves.

And in the middle of the store was Patton and Roman.

Logan watched, amused, as Patton stuffed his hands into his overall pockets upon hearing the door open. Grass strands and petals fell down his sides as he smiled sheepishly.

“Oh! Logan! You’re...back early!”

“I am actually on time, Patton.” He looked pointedly at Roman, who had formed his magic into a small broom and began idly whistling as he swept up some more petals under rugs. “It seems more like you both lost track of time.”

“Something like that!” Patton rubbed the back of his neck. “How was the play?”

Logan smiled warmly. “It was brilliant. Annie Baker is such a profound playwright. Her expertise in dialogue, the impact of the silence she marked throughout– The Aliens was such a joy. I would love to take you to the next show, I believe it’s playing again next week…”

“Wow, Specs. Forgot how much of a theatre kid you are.”

Logan stuck out his tongue at Roman. Patton, on the other hand, just grinned even wider.

“I am really happy you’re enjoying all of your art- ventures!”

Logan’s smile faltered. “Well, I wouldn’t say...all…”

“Look, I already apologized for the pottery class– how was I supposed to know that a kids birthday party was happening on that day! Plus, you got such a nice bowl out of it!”

Logan snuck a glance at his messed up attempt at a bowl, sitting on one of his shelves. The sides were lopsided—which was a generous way of saying broken—and there was a chip in its rim. He winced.

“If ‘nice’ is synonymous with ‘mess’...then sure.”

“And speaking of mess!” Patton gestured around the scattered flora in the shop. “Sorry for the...well, mess.”

“Don’t apologize! Adventures get messy, padré!” Roman cut Logan off before he could even speak. Roman threw his broom up and jumped to land on the handle, gliding through the air like he was surfing. Logan rolled his eyes.

“That’s quite alright, Patton. It seems like you both had a pleasant time.”

“We did! I think this one has to be my favourite one yet!”

Logan bit his tongue. Patton had been saying that for every book nook he had visited, and this had to have been his fifth one now. Still, he couldn’t seem to grow tired of the bright glow Patton always brought back to his home.

So he nodded along as Patton recalled his and Roman’s latest adventure. Patton was as lively as ever, animatedly telling the story of boundless scenery and endless amounts of peace and solitude.

At one point in the conversation, Logan even closed his eyes and magically summoned his tea tray from his room to the coffee table in the shop. He hoped that doing so wouldn’t interrupt Patton, but it caught his attention immediately. Roman was especially stunned by the act.

“You still seem to have it in you, huh?” Roman said, half-teasingly and half-impressed. He tipped over his own cup of sugar as Patton stared at Logan, starry-eyed.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you do that before!” Patton added on.

Logan shrugged it off as if it were nothing, but was secretly astounded himself. It didn’t feel new, but it didn’t feel like it was always something he could do either. He had gone on several of Patton’s acclaimed ‘art-ventures’—museums, art classes, a concert for the local orchestra, and now this play—and every week this feeling had only grown.

It felt...refreshing. Something within him must have made a reappearance.

Patton continued his story between sips of tea.

“The book was about this young couple running away from their town and moving to a house on a hill! It was Roman’s choice, so it makes sense that it was so good.”

Logan raised his eyebrow at Roman. “I’ve noticed you’ve been reading a lot of books like that nowadays.”

Roman laughed. “The book interested Patton more than it interested me–” He winked at Logan– “but I could see its escapist value.”

“Mere observation,” Logan murmured, studying Roman’s face for any trace of mockery, but it seemed rather honest. Logan pocketed the thought — perhaps one for later.

“It was so beautiful, Lo. Clear skies, all these flowers…” Patton sighed dreamily. “I could’ve stayed there forever.”

“But you can’t,” Logan reminded him. Patton playfully rolled his eyes, nudging Logan.

“But I can’t,” he echoed back, smiling brightly at him. Soft chills ran through Logan’s spine. It felt like flowers were blossoming within him, weaving themselves through his vertebrae and making him melt into springtime madness.

A familiar feeling with Patton nowadays, he noted.

“Did you end up painting something?” Logan managed to say, taking a long sip of tea. Patton’s eyes lit up.

“Yes! Oh, thank you for reminding me!”

Patton flew off his seat and dashed to the counter. Logan exchanged a look with Roman who just shrugged with a knowing smile.

Patton returned with a rather sizeable canvas and turned it around to face Logan, who gasped.

Sprawled on the canvas was a scene that Logan swore was plucked right out of the air and put on paper. In his immediate line of sight was a hill of bright green with flowery dashes of orange, yellow, blue, and purple struck upon the grass. It looked like you could lie down in each patch and sink right through the canvas.

At the centre line of the painting were some darker shades of green and brown making up trees of various sizes — taller from the left side of the painting and narrowing down as Logan’s vision panned across the canvas. Beside the trees was a small house, and beside the house was the faint outline of two dark silhouettes next to a clothesline. The silhouettes wore dresses that lifted slightly in the wind.

And in the background were those bright blue skies, outstretching far beyond the confinements of the piece, going past mountains smoking clouds.

He could feel the valley wind rush past him just looking at Patton’s painting. He could feel each footstep he would take into each fuzzy patch of flowers. He could feel everything.

Logan felt himself zoom back to reality and locked eyes with Patton.

“I…” For some odd reason, his research question echoed in his head.

‘ Is this what it’s all for?’

“What do you think?” Patton’s voice edged with anticipation. Roman looked oddly unsettled by Logan’s silence. Logan, on the other hand, felt as if so many voices were swarming his head.

‘Art…Escapism…’

“Lo?”

‘It’s...it’s to feel...to be transported...to be–’

“I’m blown away, Patton,” Logan breathed out. It felt like sparks were firing off in his chest. “This...this is incredible.”

Patton’s shoulders loosened as he broke into a wide, rosy smile.

“Ah! Thank you! I worked on it for– oh gosh, like probably half the day! I haven’t ever painted for that long in...well, a long time! And I certainly haven’t finished something in one go in even longer!”

“It’s incredible,” Logan said, echoing himself and lost in his amazement.

“That’s what I told him!” Roman said, patting Patton on the shoulder and flying over to the front of the painting. He pretended to stroll through it. “Took a page right out of the book...nook!”

Patton giggled, still bright red. The warm hue must have radiated off of Patton and grazed Logan’s cheeks, which burned similarly.

“It’s not hard to get in such a flow state in those book nooks.” Patton stared wistfully at the painting, as if trying to go back. “I haven’t been this inspired since...forever.”

“How long have you been doing this sort of stuff?” Roman asked idly, floating back down to the tea tray and taking more sips of sugar. “I’m curious as to where a great mind such as yourself found its running start!”

Patton laughed. “It really isn’t anything special, Roman. Plus I don’t want to bore anyone–”

“You could never,” Logan blurted out. He felt the two’s stares burn right through him. “I...I would enjoy a story, Patton.”

Patton smiled, softer than usual. He leaned the canvas against the side of the armchair and sat back down.

“Well, I’ve been drawing since... forever, really!” He sipped his tea and stared out the window. “My favourite kind of art used to be scrapbooking– I would help my mom with decorating photo albums and eventually, I would make scrapbooks out of stuff I drew.”

“That’s precious ,” Roman beamed. “Imagine the nook you can open out of that!”

“I know! I wish I had kept some before I moved out.”

“I didn’t know you used to do collages, Patton,” Logan chimed in. Patton shrugged.

“It was the art style I liked the most, but one of my professors had challenged me to start making something of my own. It was a real slow start, though. I have always known how to take things that already exist and make them into something new — but I never really knew how to...well, make something new..”

Logan furrowed his brow. For some strange reason, he longed for his notebook. Patton’s words felt like they were moving the puzzle pieces in his head closer and closer together–

In a small spark of navy smoke, his notebook and pen appeared on his lap with a small pop!

Logan blinked at it. ‘Did I…’

He felt a pair of eyes on him. Like a deer in headlights, he lifted his head up and locked eyes with Roman. Roman’s eyes flickered then at Patton, before moving back to Logan’s hands. He stiffened, almost...hurt. A chill ran through Logan’s spine.

“Anyway! I found my footing when I moved into this town and found your bookshop!” Patton continued, seemingly not noticing Logan’s abrupt display of magic. “I...well, I didn’t really have any friends around here so I was doing a lot of exploring for inspiration. And when I found your shop, Logan, I...I don’t know! All the books I bought here were always so vivid.” Patton winked at Roman. “Now I know why!”

“What drew you to books?” Logan asked, leaning forward.

“As I said, I liked to make things out of things that already existed. Making paintings based on books – well, it was a bit of a stepping stone to that, you know?”

“But you’ve never painted a truly original piece.”

“Logan!” Roman hissed. Logan looked at him incredulously.

Patton awkwardly fiddled with his thumbs. “I mean, I don’t know if I’ve ever copied anything– I’m more so inspired by everything – but I guess in the way you frame it...no! No, not really.”

“So why do you make art, Patton?”

A beat of silence. Patton tilted his head to the side. Even Roman looked more than unsettled now. Roman’s gaze landed on Logan’s notebook. He narrowed his eyes at Logan, who cleared his throat.

“Um...I’m not sure!” Patton laughed nervously. “Never gave it much thought. But...I always liked the idea of having my art reach other people, since I’ve gotten my spark from other people. I was given something from someone, made it into something else, and wanted to keep sharing that ‘something’ around! Like– like with the book drawings, for example! Those were all for you.”

Logan felt himself draw back. “They...they were?”

“Who did you think they were for, silly?”

“I...I’m not sure. I just...I didn’t know they were made for me.”

“Well of course they were!” Patton reached over to place a hand on Logan’s knee. Sparks crackled beneath the touch. “I love painting for you.”

Logan could feel Roman staring up at him.

“You know, Albert Camus, a French philosopher, posited that art is inherently selfish,” Logan began slowly, flipping through his notebook. “The meaning of any particular form of art is rooted in his ‘logic of the absurd’ – the idea that the human condition is absurd and must hence be revolted. This makes art lack any intrinsic value, since it goes beyond making a meaningful mark on the world and instead reinforces subjective messages into other–s”

“I think we all need a translation from nerd , Logan,” Roman scoffed, though his voice edged with tension. Logan swore Roman’s aura pulsed red, telling him to stop, you don’t need to make every artist feel useless–

Logan sighed, focusing his attention on Patton.

“Essentially, Camus believed that since art was the sort of ‘carrier’ for messages that only promoted awareness of the absurd and attitudes of revolt, there is no essential meaning to it. It just forces an opinion onto someone else.”

“If I may,” Patton interjected. “I...I don’t really think art forces anything onto anyone.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. Patton simply shrugged.

“Art is our way of making sense of the world, and finding the people that understand that same– or at least, similar– sense. I don’t want to make a mark on the world, and I don’t want to give some definite answers to anything. I...I guess I make art to find where I fit, and I hope others can look at my art and find the same thing.”

Logan nodded, still not writing anything down. He could feel himself reach for more answers, as if they were tied to Patton’s very being.

“Also, Logan,” Patton added. “I think it’s interesting that you bring up Camus’ theories of absurdism – theories stating that it is impossible and thus irrelevant for someone to know or understand the meaning of anything. Wasn’t absurdism sort of Camus’ opposing response to nihilism?”

Logan’s jaw dropped. Patton took another sip of his tea and shrugged.

“I took a few philosophy classes in university.” Patton smiled brightly. “Very interesting stuff!”

Roman snorted. A puff of sugar encircled his head. Logan flushed beet red.

“Right,” he said, trying to compose himself. “So do you agree with Camus?”

“Not entirely. I think it’s hard to tie in Camus’ logic of the absurd to the meaning of art. Artistic value can’t really be reduced to just facts. It’s so much more than logical. However, absurdism as a whole has always fascinated me. If the meaning of art, let’s say, is impossible and irrelevant to understand, then you have so much space to make something out of it.”

“I just don’t understand how you are so optimistic that there is anything– that you can make something from– from nothing .” Logan exhaled a tightly-held breath, though found himself less frustrated and more curious. “Virgil Aries stated that in the constant struggle of possibility and reality, reality is always victorious, because reality is all we have. Your conception of art is so intertwined with possibility in the midst of nothing — how can you be so sure that your contributions are hence meaningful?”

Patton took a second before replying, “Do you really believe there is nothing, Logan?”

Logan blinked. The room fell quiet.

“What...what else could there be?” he murmured.

Roman’s presence darkened — quite literally, actually. Logan could feel his aura dim, as if it were sagging in defeat.

Patton, however, gave him a gentle smile.

“Do you remember when I read The Signature of All Things? Alma and Ambrose heavily considered the idea that the novel is titled after — that there is some kind of unifying principle that connects and explains all phenomena.”

Logan nodded. Patton motioned over to the canvas leaning against his armchair.

“Well, I think I’m trying to find that with my art. I’m trying to leave a signature of my own in places that can only be found if looked for — and I can only do that if I choose to believe there’s something in all the…’nothing’.”

He then shrugged, finishing his cup of tea. “But I don’t think that deeply, really. All I know is that if there is a meaning for anything out there, there’s no point in searching for it. It’s probably too big and very...restrictive. You have to make meaning for yourself, then find the places it fits.”

Logan felt dizzy with the new perspective. Janus’ words mixed with Patton’s as Logan found himself immersed in a snow globe of their thoughts.

“Art worms its way into the spaces that it can fit. And with the help of others, art– and everything it represents– is made bigger than the spaces of life they initially occupy.”

He recalled Patton’s painting.

‘Art...is to feel ...is to not escape nothing but...but rather replace it with something .’

Logan looked up at Patton once more, noticing the way he glowed under the sunlight. His words spun circles around Logan’s head like planetary orbit, and he felt the reverberation of pieces snapping together in his mind.

And here was Patton at the centre of it all, still smiling, not knowing everything yet harbouring a spirit of boundless knowledge and new perspectives. It drew him in like a moth to a flame and he didn’t quite know why, but he didn’t feel like he was in a rush to find out.

They continued to talk for the rest of the day, exchanging theories of philosophy and engaging in friendly debate. Logan found himself laughing at Patton’s anecdotes and becoming stunned by his mind. Halfway through their conversation, Logan realized that this was the first time he truly talked to Patton — and suddenly, he didn’t know how to stop.

Night brimmed the edge of the view outside the shop window, stars beginning to dot the sky. Logan and Patton exchanged one last laugh before Patton stood up, gathering his things.

“Please take the painting, Lo,” Patton said, holding up the canvas to him.

“I cannot seriously begin to understand why you would want me to have this,” Logan replied honestly. “It would fare much better in a more honourable display, perhaps a local exhibit or–

Patton shook his head, grabbing Logan’s hand and guiding it to the edge of the canvas.

“It’s for you,” he said, more quiet and more soft. Logan felt almost electrified by the touch and said nothing, just tucked the canvas under his arm and nodded.

Patton turned to leave before stopping.

“Oh! Nearly forgot this!” He fished a ticket out of his bag. “This is for next week’s art -venture.”

“I insist on finding another name for what we’re doing.”

“Nope! Already branded! Roman’s making t-shirts.”

Roman nodded diligently. Logan rolled his eyes and took the ticket.

“ ‘The Rom-Com...Comeback’,” Logan read aloud. He frowned. “I am confused.”

“It’s a ‘throwback rom-com’ event at the cinema– the small one ‘round the corner!” A sheepish pause. “It’s less of an...‘intellectual’ art exploration.”

“What does that mean?”

“...It means we’re watching a movie with Adam Sandler in it.”

“Absolutely not .”

“But hijinks ensue!” Patton pleaded. “Come on, Lo. I know it’s not your usual rodeo but it is fun! And isn’t that the most important lesson that can be learned? A lesson about fun? ”

“That is a complete stretch, Patton.”

“How about I come with you? And I’ll treat you to ice cream or something.” He smiled. “Consider this me sweetening the deal.”

A pause.

“...And this is next week?”

“Ahh yay! That’s a yes!” Patton swung his arms over Logan’s shoulders before Logan could protest, wrapping him in a quick hug. “I’ll pick you up from here an hour or two before!”

“O...kay…” Logan felt his face go warm once more as Patton let go, waving at him as he left the store. The bells hanging over the door chimed as it closed.

Logan stood there, almost dumbfounded, and pocketed the ticket. He looked up at the door Patton left through and felt a smile grow on his face.

And suddenly, he wanted it to be next week.

“Well, Roman, I suppose we’re going to have to find somewhere to hang this upsta–”

He turned to face the coffee table where he assumed Roman still was, but found nothing. He frowned, looking around the shop for any trace of him.

“Roman?”

Suddenly, he heard the muffled sound of a door closing coming from upstairs. His gaze darted to the staircase and he saw a trail of red magic leading up the stairs, presumably to the bedroom. He stared at it, not knowing what to make of it and Roman’s wordless departure; but a second later, he blinked, and then caught sight of Roman’s magic fading quietly into the air.

…

(It isn’t easy, after all, to see someone glow without you.)

—

next chapter >

#TS Storytime 2021 #gabbie writes things #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #logicality #prinxiety #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan/patton #roman/virgil #logic/morality #creativity/anxiety

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inkykeiji · 3 years

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"angels of porn II", "uncle", "you're so cool", "rabid", "dog teeth", "poacher's pride", "mean", "runnin' free", "sweet girl", "he hit me (and it felt like a kiss)" when i say her entire discography i MEAN her entire discography in some way or another <3 nicole dollanganger anon

OKAY ANON I FINALLY DID IT I FINALLY SAT DOWN AND THOROUGHLY LISTENED TO ALL OF THESE AAAAH big apologies for the absolute ESSAY i wrote you under the cut!!

angels of porn II: aaah tbh with u i had to stop listening to this at ‘my hair is falling out again’ because it was making me feel icky and depressed ehehe BUT i looked up the lyrics and yeah i can definitely see where you’re coming from with why this might remind u of my work!!

uncle: i’ve heard this song before!!! i have no idea WHERE but i recognize it! this definitely gave me reader x touya-nii vibes especially like, the main series in general (part one for sure!! but really just the whole vibe with like that all-consuming love and the dependency reader has on him, how badly she lives to please him and receive his praise, etc)

you're so cool: (i hope to god this is a true romance reference ehehehe) OOOOH I LOVE THIS ONE i love this one i love this one so much okay so far this is my favourite out of the three i’ve listened to. absolutely adding this to both my touya-nii playlist AND my poison!dabi playlist holy shit i really love this one,,, literally do not be surprised if lyrics from this song end up as one of the titles to my pieces oh my GOD i love it

rabid: holy shit i love this one too. the entire first verse and ‘you like to play with knives and get all cut up’ and ‘no blood for you will ever be enough’ aaaaah oooh i love it so much. it also made me cry really bad for some reason??? and i’m not exactly why, idk if it’s because i feel like i’m relating so fucking hard to it or if it’s just how heartbreakingly sad her melodies are??? but she’s an incredible songwriter oh my gosh, thank you for introducing me!! i hope i can listen to this soon without crying ahahaha

dog teeth: fuck i love this one too!!! ooooh the chorus is definitely my favourite ahahaha i already have a version of dabi forming in my head that i’d LOVE to write inspired by this song eeeeee. definitely touya-nii vibes too tho!!! absolutely!! this is an absolute sidenote that has little to do with anything BUT listening to these has made me think about my three (now four i guess if we count 1950s dabi!!) versions of dabi and the fact that literally every single song so far makes me think of touya-nii is reminding me of just how fucked up i made him and just how much i LOVE that iteration i created ahahaha he has such a special place in my heart and maybe that’s another reason why these songs are making me so damn emotional???

poacher's pride: oh my god this one is DARK ahahahaha yikes but i like it!! the lyrics more than anything else but yeah, wow. i love the theme of angels in her work, really really interesting!! i also looked her up and found out she’s from southern ontario as well and YEAH this literally has such like,,, abandoned small town ontario vibes oooh it all makes so much more sense now ahaha. it’s hard to explain, but if you’re from a small town in ontario you’ll understand what i’m talking about but like, i can VISUALIZE her songs. i can literally see parts of my town and the tinier towns up north and bits and pieces of my life as i listen to her music… that’s probably playing a really big part in why her songs keep making me fuCKING CRY too ahaha

mean: okay this one made me sob and for that reason i do not like it hahaha there’s uh like two lines in here that hit me really really hard and i probably should’ve turned it off right after that but i didn’t and that was a mistake on my part lol. beautiful song tho!! there are just a few parts of it that hit a little too close to home hahaha, but i mean—that’s truly a sign of good art, you know?? when it literally makes you THAT emotional that quickly…… i think she’s an insanely talented artist, though!!

runnin’ free: oh my god hahahaha AGAIN this is like, august in the town i grew up in. that’s what it reminds me of; sticky humid august summers in this lil farming town where nothing ever happens and all you can hear is the buzz of the cicadas. i love the chorus tho!!! so much!!!! the song as a whole makes me,,,, not exactly nostalgic because i do not miss that time of my life at all, but like,, a deep melancholy mixed with nostalgia, if that makes sense???

sweet girl: WAAAAH i love this one so much!!!! i love this one so so so much ahahah i know it’s depicting a lesbian relationship but the vibe of the song itself makes me think of poison!dabi

he hit me (and it felt like a kiss): AAAAAAH THIS ONE yes yes yes!!!!! this one is also sooooo so so poision!dabi like holy fuck 110% ahaha i added it to my playlist for him, too

AAAH apologies that i wrote you a LITERAL ESSAY on my thoughts and i’m sorry it took me a bit of time to get to this!! but i really wanted to set aside some time to solely listen to these songs n give you my thoughts (and i’m currently sick in bed so it was the perfect opportunity ahaha).

in conclusion, i loved her stuff but so much of it felt so personal (in relation to myself!!)—perhaps a little too personal and it made me extremely emotional but in an interesting way??? i’ve never encountered music that made me feel that intensely so FAST, so i’m really intrigued ahaha, and again i think a lot of it has to do with just how much her art feels like it is imbued with the essence of small town southern ontario, which i personally have a LOT of mixed feelings towards ehehe BUT ANYWAY NOW I’M RAMBLING

thank you so much anon for introducing me to such a beautiful artist, i think when i’m feeling a little better (both physically and emotionally ahaha) that i’d like to give more of her stuff a try and eventually not cry at every song, because i really do love her lyrics so much!! and i don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing that it made me so emotional—like i said i find it soooo interesting, i can’t even describe some of the feelings her music gave me, i’m not sure words exist for them but i’d love to listen to her again and try to write them down or describe them myself—but obv i don’t want to cry every single time i listen to her!!

#thank you anon i really appreciated this!!!#again sorry for the essay lmao i just had so much to say??? so many thoughts!!#so many FEELINGS #anyway she's an incredible artist #i hope you had a good day + weekend anon bb <33 #sweet anon 🥺#clari gets mail

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astrogone · 4 years

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❝ @ mutuals, send me a 🍓 and I’ll compliment you! ❞ / pt. 1

🍓 @operagheist: Knight, I absolutely adore your passion! Especially how you would spill it over when it comes to Erik and Phantom of the Opera. It can be written in such a messy manner with bunch of words being out of place, so many exclamation marks and words in cap, and I’d still call it art because passion comes from the core of the heart, and to have it lit up is the time that the individual is the most alive, and those kind of moments when people are so are more than to be defined as a masterpiece hung on the mind. I think what’s amazing is the idea that you can still love a media content without the experiencing of fully getting into it because of your friend’s devotion to it. While I will find a way to get into it, thanks to you, I am so happy Phantom of the Opera exists because at least this one reason would be that it makes you so happy, and just from our small interactions and how you are on my dash, you are an amazing and talented person who deserves every happy things there is. It wonders me to see your writings and headcanons and artworks. Everything about your creations are so well thought out and I will always enjoy taking the time to analyze every little details of them and your comments on them via tags / captions. There is so much love in them, and I love that so much... <3

🍓 @timidstrcngth: Carp, you are an angel this world do not deserve to have! Not to say that you are perfect when everyone makes mistakes, but you are wonderful to be with, ever the darling you are who can bring Ílios the sun to shame by radiating so much love that can only mean kindness, and that is enough to me. It should be to the world itself. I remember during our first few interactions, after I told you along the line how I found comfort in you already despite us just having to met, you had told me something like you would hope to be friendly and kind to others. You are though; you have done nothing but to be kind to others, and it makes me beyond happy to even think these people, including myself, are so lucky to have even met you. Valerie is such an amazing character to get to learn about and write with. The way you would write her, talk about her, you are one of the causes that devotion exists. I will never forget the wonder I experienced while reading her document for the first time after I had stumbled across your blog, genuinely seeing how much effort and time that was put into the document. Thank you and Valerie so much for offering your pieces to this world; they are so bright and so inspiring and beyond beautiful. <3

🍓 @penumbrasis: Sylv, I don’t know why, but you give me such badass vibes?¿ Like, the person who’d wear a leather jacket and sunglasses and have a motorcycle kind of badass?¿?¿ We had only chatted very briefly so far, but from just that alone, I think you’re so neat and I’d love to you more often! I still extremely appreciate your really kind act of comforting me from the unpleasant event with rpc that happened lately and made me feel included in the community, which, thank you again so much for that. I highly enjoy going through your blog and read what you had of Nox and getting to know more of them. They’re extremely fascinating to learn about, and your writing style is so grasping and fun to get into! Each little details in your work would be so lovingly and beautifully crafted, and honestly, there would be so many lines in many of your writings that would take a bit of my breath away. Certainly, you and Nox have won the best of my heart and soul. <3

🍓 @seaprofound: Sunny, the sun to my moon, oh my gosh, where to begin... You are legit one of the most chaotic and fun people to be friends, and just... What the Hell, you are so amazing, it’s illegal!? You never fail to make me smile and laugh, and I always get giddy seeing you on my dash or when you message me. The way you would talk to me, I can literally feel the energy coming out of my mobile from you, and I think that’s what makes online connections so meaningful; the fact that one can still feel like they’re talking to someone who’s right by their side when in reality, they can be at the exact opposite country of them. You had easily made a home in my heart, and I hope you know that I cherish you and our friendship so much, and you bet I always highly look forward to interacting with you more. With Po, she is just as amazing as you. She have such a strong personality and I absolutely love the way you would write and develop her. Every corners and edges of her character are so full of love from you, and I adore every bits of them. It is so inspiring and fascinating to see an individual take a character from a media content or mythology or such and make them into someone so much more. That’s something I hope to achieve with Atlas who is, of course, my ultimate favourite mythological figure as he means everything to me. No matter what, never forget that you are amazing, friend ( I don’t think I have to say that to Po— I bet she knows for damn sure that she is, hahah! ) <3

🍓 @adastva: Kate! Wow! You are one of my newest friends and I adore you so much already!?!? I absolutely love seeing you on my dash as your posts would always bring a smile on my face. It’s like the dash would be the world and your posts would be the sunlight that would make the dash a bit more brighter as the day goes on!!! Your passion for your muses and shows are honest to God exhilarating, and something that I can feel just by your words ( even I can sense your hatred for Ryan Murphy, which I have no idea who he is or what he had done, but I’ll support you anyway and be coming my way over to fight him with you. ) I love every second reading your headcanons and writings, and I find it so so cool that you’re willing to explore your writings in different unique styles. God, you have no idea how excited I am to write and scream with you!! You and I are gonna rule over the world TOGETHER!!! <3

🍓 @lessereviltm: Hammy, we have yet to interact much, but you got the cool vibes and I really hope to interact with you in the future!?!? You have that fun and loving auras that makes me feel like anyone would be having the best time jamming Hell out with you! I’m still grasping more knowledge into Greek mythology, and learning about mythos!Charybdis because of yours... I absolutely love the developments and thoughts you had for her! You really took her identity up to the next level and it’s just! So amazing! Reading all of these stuff about her! Now, don’t even get me started with your extraordinary writings! I can feel so much time and effort and passion were placed into them, and that is what makes them so entertaining and thrilling to read! Your work are the sparks of inspirations that anyone would be so delighted to find when this community is so massive. <3

#( what’s even great about the strawberry thing is yesterday I ATE some STRAWBERRIES!!!!!! )#( Sunday? more like StrawberryDAYYYYY!!!! )#( anyway thank you for coming to my LOVETalk!!!!! I CHERISH Y’ALL SO SO MUCHHHHH!!!! <333333 )#tbt.#operagheist #timidstrcngth #penumbrasis #seaprofound #adastva #lessereviltm

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kinktae · 4 years

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hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

#ask

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mcrmadness · 4 years

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I’ve been tagged a lot lately, which is awesome and I want to thank you all for that! :) To this one I was tagged by @charlotte-lancer.

Play time: List your five favourite movies and why, then tag some more players.

This is actually extremely hard question as I’m a massive movie freak. I watch so many movies and I pretty much watch anything that is not a) romantic movie b) romantic comedy or c) a horror movie. Thrillers are okay, but I don’t like movies that build up a certain tension. I have anxiety disorder of my own so I don’t need anything to add more fuel into it.

I also own so many dvds and blurays that I had to go and see my collection to remember what I even like and I still feel like there’s tens of movies that should make to the list but I don’t want to remove any of the existing ones because they should be on the list as well! But I will mention here 5 movies that mean something to me or that I have attached to for whatever reason, but I’d say only the first one in the list is actually the favouriteFAVOURITE movie, the rest are in just a random order. I’ll put this under the read more link as this is gonna be a veeeery long post!

Beetlejuice (1988) I am a fan of Tim Burton. I have seen his movies so many times and I love Danny Elfman’s scores especially in his movies. In fact, when I was a kid, Burton’s movies were always my fave ones but I was probably a teenager when I finally started to connect the dots and realized my favorites were always from the same man. And so were the scores too! This is also one of those movies from my childhood that I have seen so, so many times and I have called different Burton movies as my favourite movies but somehow I just always go back to Beetlejuice and then one day I just realized that hey, why do I even try to choose the one as this apparently IS the favourite one! So, this is my fave from Burton AND from all the movies I have seen.

And why? The humour is just perfect here, I live from dark humour and there’s so much of that in the movie! And I have also always been so fascinated by the idea of death not being permanent, makes my fear of death a lot easier. As you might know already, this movie is about a couple who die and become ghosts and try to survive with the family moving into their old house, trying to make them move out but failing. And I just LOVE how Burton has imagined what death is like! There is so much to see and I feel like I see something new every time I watch that movie and I just love it when movies or any media has so much details in it. And I have always been saying that if death is like the one in Beetlejuice (I said it for the third time now, whooooops), I’m really happy to die one day.

The Dark Knight (2008) This I just HAVE TO include into this list because of memories. I was 17 when this movie came out. I remember not being interested in the newer Batman movies at all but then one day I watched Batman Begins (2005) from tv and the last frame of that movie caused me to go crazy and I knew that the next movie would be even more interesting. Then it was confirmed that TDK will have the Joker in it and I’ve been a Batman fan since I was 7-8 years old and Joker has always been my fave villain from the Batman universe. I was watching the 60s tv show as a kid and I had seen Burton’s Batman (1989) many times before as well, and that movie also has the Joker in it.

A remember following the news of the movie so closely all the time and I remember the news about hem casting Heath Ledger, who was a new name for me but seemed very interesting for the role, but sadly passed away before the movie even came out. When the movie finally did come out, I was so blown away by Ledger’s work as the Joker that I still cannot decide who has been my favorite Joker of all times. But he’s at the very top of that list, for sure. And that whole movie was just the best thing the 17-years-old me had seen in a while that I actually did go to see it 3 times in the movies. I even drew kind of fan art of the movie and I had 2 TDK Posters on my walls, as well as 2 Joker posters on my walls and I still plan on hanging the Why so serious? poster to somewhere one day.

As a side note, I also like Christopher Nolan’s other movies a lot but TDK is definitely a favorite from them. I have seen almost all of his other movies and they all are really fascinating and interesting and I just love Hans Zimmer’s music and the combination is so perfect. I have to mention that my other favorites are definitely Interstellar (2014), The Prestige (2006) and Inception (2010).

Life of Brian (1979) I’m a Monty Python fan and this movie is yet again a part of my childhood. I have seen this movie millions of times and I never get bored with it and I never get over how funny the jokes are. I will laugh for the same jokes every time, no matter how many times I would watch this movie. My favorite scene is simply the one where Brian jumps into this pit and the man there starts jumping and finally notices the crowd and hides again. I cannot explain why, but I just find things like that way too funny :DDDDDDDDDD And it’s not even close as funny when I try to explain it, so look for yourself. I’m still losing it during that scene XD

And it’s not only funny, but it also has some really smart, hmmmm, perceptions of the world to it. I love that scene where Brian is trying to tell the people not to follow him because they don’t need to follow anyone and they’re individuals and should use their own brains, and these people just don’t understand a thing, they will just praise the ground under Brian’s feet no matter what he would say.

Breakfast on Pluto (2005) With this one I’m not exactly sure what happened with this one. I was just quitting my antidepressants when I saw this movie and I had just got all my emotions and ability to feel back so I don’t know if I fell in love with this movie because of my brain chemicals trying to get their shit together, or if I would have fallen in love with this movie anyway if I saw it some other time. But this one still gives me so strong reactions every time I watch it and especially the starting and ending music causes me so strong wave of happiness that I feel like exploding and I wanna cry from happiness. Oh and I watched that movie 3 times within one week back then. I feel like the antidepressant did have something to do with this.

Amadeus (1984) / Se7en (1995) / Donnie Darko (2001) / A Beautiful Mind (2001) / Joker (2019) The last one is actually impossible to name now. There’s so many good movies out there and I’m already leaving out some of the best ones. Some are classics and some are just movies from my childhood that I grew up with and attached to. TV was pretty much my biggest friend when I was growing up! So here’s a bunch of movies that I wanted to mention as they also tell a little bit of the movie genres as well. Shortly:

Amadeus - Another one from my childhood and it’s a biography film over Mozart. I don’t know why I grew to attached to this film but I feel like ever since I’ve had this need to rewatch this every once in a while. Because of this movie I get chills every time some of the Mozart music pieces used in the movie play somewhere. I don’t know if I like the music or if they just remind me of this movie. And for some reason, after seeing the movie millions of times, at the age of 9 or so I suddenly was so upset after a character’s death.

Se7en - I was bit older when I saw this (thank gods) and this is a good example of the type of thrillers I like to watch. And this movie’s plot is insane and it has one of the best endings to a movie that I know. I won’t say what kind of feelings it wakes up, but some very strong feelings. And this reminds of the fact now that I forgot to mention The Green Mile, which is also one of the best movies I know. Gosh this post is failing so badly already :D

Donnie Darko; A Beautiful Mind - Both have a plot that is wrapped around a mental illness. I actually like to watch movies about mental illness a lot, “Girl, interrupted” is also one of those movies that I like a lot. These movies are nothing like each other but both basically do a portrayal of schizophrenia. Donnie Darko is of course a bit more scifi and A Beautiful Mind is a biographical movie. I actually saw Donnie Darko for the first time several years ago, I was to school and watched it from Netflix and wanted to rewatch it so badly but it got deleted from Netflix and finally I was able to find it on a blueray and now it’s in my shelf and I love that movie.

Joker - This is definitely the best movie of the 2019 imho. Again, pretty much a movie about mental illness. I was bit afraid first that it would make the treatment of mentally ill people take a turn back(?) and would make healthy people be afraid of us instead of make them open their eyes, but I’m happy it didn’t turn out that way. But I feel like the people who got upset after the movie are actually relating to the groups attacked in the movie as maybe they finally (subconsciously?) realized what COULD happen in the world if things keep going like they’ve been going so far. But as a mentally ill person, I just got so attached to this movie. Plus I’m still a Batman fan whose fave villain ever is Joker and this was another great version and even greater portrayal of the character.

And that’s it, no more text. No idea if anyone found this even slightly interesting but oh well, I don’t care, it was still fun writing all that. And I’m so tired after this now that I don’t really have energy for tagging anyone but I guess I could tag at least someone or some people... let’s see... okay, @hanhan156, I’m gonna tag you! :D I have no idea if you watch movies and how often/many if so, but do this if you want! (And you tagged me so many times today so here’s something back ::D)

#tag games #mcrmadness' random stuff

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cclkestis · 4 years

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hello lovely!!!! i’m here with some Qs for your babies bc i go 🥺💕 when they’re mentioned. i’ll go 🌸&🌿 for inara, 🌻 for eldrevan and maybe a 🌼 for noah bc i don’t know much about him! only answer the ones you’d like to! ily muchly ❤️

allie….i love you sm thank you!! ❤️

🌸 What are some of their favourite things and why? List as many as you can think of!

oooh okay let me see here - a lot of her favourite things are the simpler things in life, because of how she spent the first chunk of it! she loves the stars, sunrises, fresh snow, her friends (who are her family by now), chocolate, reading, the wind in her hair, arts and crafts, cosy sweaters, warming up after being out in the cold, coffee uuuuh my mind is going blank now so i’ll stop but :’))

🌿 What way does your OC show that they care without using words? What way do others show your OC that they’re cared about without using speech?

thinking about this one made me Extra Soft - whilst inara isn’t bad at expressing her care through her words, more often she’s likely to show it through actions anyway - she’ll make someone a cup of tea if they look like they need it, or offer to do something she knows they enjoy if they’re looking down (for example she 100% asks ravi to come colour with her if she isn’t her usual bubbly self!!), little things like that! and sometimes she’ll buy silly little trinkets for the others if she sees one that reminds her of them (especially avery because he collects All the Things)!!

and with others showing her she’s cared about, i imagine it would be very similar acts?? just little things and looking out for her, always having her back when she needs them. even just sitting with her in silence and being there with her means an awful lot to her, and she appreciates the support that their presence brings her!

🌻 What little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? What tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?

eldrevan doesn’t make it obvious that he observes as much as he does, given that it just doesn’t seem like something he’s likely to do from an outside perspective. one thing he always notices about people though is how they interact with plants and animals, and just nature in general - and when he sees people respecting and nurturing them it brings him a great deal of joy. being a wood elf he’s always been very close to nature, and he misses not being surrounded by it all the time since arriving in the city, so it always brightens his day when he spots pieces of the city that have been reclaimed by nature in some way!

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

another one that makes me soft gosh - okay so noah’s friends basically all became his found family, and they are always all there for each other! he’s still closer to some of them than others but in general there’s elodie (who is very much like a sister to him and sometimes they’re both dumbasses together), felix (who he considers almost as a brother and they are prank buddies who enjoy messing with the others), hazel (he doesn’t know exactly what she’s been through but he will Protect her), sebastian (seb’s level of chill generally balances out noah’s overabundance of energy and they get on well), and axel (the newest addition to their little group, who noah didn’t immediately trust but now regards him as a good friend!).

and finally (left until last because it links into the rest of the question) there’s lyra. they’re best friends and have been for quite some time now, trusting each other completely and always being there to support each other. if you ask either of them they will blatantly deny that they’re anything more than friends, but it was inevitable that the Feelings were going to sneak up sooner or later and by the time that happens, if asked what he’s looking for in a romantic partner, noah’s answer will most likely be “lyra” because this boy really does love her with his whole heart :’)) the two of them just need to stop dancing around each other and guessing whether the other feels the same way before their friends just straight up smash their faces together because it’s so o b v i o u s :’)))

soft oc asks!!

#allie tag #answered #thank u so much friend for letting me ramble i'm :'))))))))#eldrevan being Soft about nature is something that makes me feel all warm #and i always laugh about noah being *heart eyes* at lyra and thinking he's being subtle about it when he is not #ch: inara novak #ch: eldrevan freanea #ch: noah langfield #my ocs #long post #ALSO @ the people who sent me drabble requests the other day #i am working on them i promise!!

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alpha-centari27 · 4 years

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SONIC THE HEDGEHOG Exclusive Interview With Star Lee Majdoub About Agent Stone And His Dream Superhero Role

We recently caught up with Sonic the Hedgehog star Lee Majdoub to discuss his breakout role as Dr. Robotnik's sidekick Agent Stone, while he also reveals which superhero he would love the chance to play...

Sonic the Hedgehog proved that the video game movie curse is officially dead as critics and fans alike loved it (you can read our review by clicking here). Throw in the fact that it was a box office hit, and it's fair to say that there's a lot of excitement surrounding the yet to be announced sequel.

After being made available EARLY on Digital platforms, the movie arrives on 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, and DVD on May 19th, and to celebrate its release, we recently had the opportunity to catch up with star Lee Madjoub. He plays Agent Stone in Sonic the Hedgehog, and has been hailed as the breakout star (the character, meanwhile, has gained a devoted fan following online).

As the straight man to Jim Carrey's villainous Dr. Robotnik, Madjoub was responsible for many of the funniest exchanges in the film, and made a lasting impact after past memorable roles in TV shows like Supernatural, Zoo, and The 100.

In this interview, we delve into the Robotnik/Stone relationship, his experiences working with Carrey, and even hear a compelling argument for why he could be the Marvel Universe's next Wolverine!

It was great to talk to Lee about Sonic the Hedgehog, and we obviously want to extend a huge thank you to him for taking the time to do this interview happen with everything going on in the world right now. Agent Stone is clearly a role he's passionate about and, after reading this, we're pretty sure you'll also want to see him don those familiar claws...

Were you a fan of the Sonic the Hedgehog games before being cast and what did it mean for you as an actor to join such an iconic franchise?

Yeah, I actually did play Sonic on the SEGA Genesis when I was a kid. It was probably my favourite game growing up, and the SEGA Genesis was the first console I got to call my own. It was extremely surreal to get cast in the movie itself, and then when I found out Jim Carrey was playing Robotnik, and I was gonna be playing his right-hand man, it took it to the next level for me. I also grew up loving Ace Ventura, The Mask, and, well, all of Jim's stuff!

You're very much the straight man to Robotnik, but how do you keep a straight face when Jim Carrey is reeling off lines like the one about how Stone makes his lattes?

It was a challenge to keep a straight face at times, for sure. What was lovely about that set was that everybody was so positive, and having a good time was really welcomed. If we broke or laughed, you didn't feel like you were doing anything wrong, thank goodness! There were a few times, and the scene I remember was when Robotnik sticks the quill to his tongue and electrocutes himself...and then turns to me and offers it to me! I had such a tough time keeping a straight face, so I had to figure out ways to change my facial expression or not quite look at Jim in the eyes in order to get that scene done.

Did you get the opportunity to do much in the way of improv on set?

I did. Fortunately, working with Jim, improv comes with it. The looser he gets, and the more he's figuring out Robotnik, the more permission I had to feed off of whatever he was doing. That was really welcome, and it was amazing to be able to say, 'Oh my gosh, I'm getting to improvise with Jim Carrey, one of the greatest at it.' Some of the stuff didn't work with Agent Stone, but we got to flesh it out and have a lot of fun, nonetheless. Sometimes in the movie, you didn't get to see the improv, but then some of the improv does actually make it in there!

Did you find playing an original character without ties to the video game series freeing as there weren't any specific expectations from fans?

I think it was a little bit of both, to be honest. In the cartoons, he's got Orbot and Snively in certain versions, and when you're playing someone that already exists, you have a little bit of something to feed off. You go, 'Okay, this is what the character is like, so I can take some hints there.' With Agent Stone, there's also the element of freedom where there's nothing pre-established so you could do whatever works within the realm of the story after discussions with Jeff Fowler, who was our amazing director, and the writers and Jim. It was definitely fun not to be tied into anything and feed off Jim, for sure, and then what was on the page for us, was all you ended up seeing in the movie. Stone was, I wouldn't say last minute, but through the last few drafts, Stone was written in to give Jim someone to talk to. He was the straight man in the movie, but through discussions with Jim and Jeff and Toby [Ascher], our fantastic producer, we were able to flesh out the story a bit and figure out the relationships, and it turned into what you see now.

I feel like it's fair to say that you were the movie's breakout star, but were you surprised by the reaction fans have had to Agent Stone?

Yeah, I never ever imagined Agent Stone would have this much backing from the fans. Even before the movie came out, you'd see him once in a trailer, but people started to really stick by him. A lot of fans were like, 'We are Agent Stone, and he is us.' We've all had to work with that boss who doesn't appreciate you, and you get hired for one reason, but all they want you to do is make coffee! It was really surprising and it's still very surreal. There's a lot of engagement, and a lot of fan-art out there that I'm so appreciative of and it blows me away every time I see a new art piece come out.

It seemed Robotnik hated everyone other than Stone, and he even finds a new Agent Stone on the mushroom planet, so I was wondering what you think it is that makes your character different to everyone else in Robotnik's life?

[Laughs] You know what, to me, I think Stone sees something in Robotnik that no one else does. There's this utter respect he has for Robotnik, and he lets him get away with a lot like the hand going into the mouth and the throat chop. Stone understands that this is Robotnik, and this is what he needs to do his thing. What I also love about Stone is that he judges Robotnik at times too, so I feel like there's a respect there, but I think Stone is unwavering and always there for him and it probably forces Robotnik to have to be okay with it.

Were you surprised to watch that mid-credits scene and see that Agent Stone had been replace with, well, a stone?

The day I wrapped on set was the day before I shot that scene. I was there when they were coming up with the ideas, and Jim was talking to them saying, 'What if he has another Agent Stone? Like a Wilson from Castaway?' It was so funny, and I saw them putting the moss beard on there. I laughed really hard. There's flattery there too as Robotnik needs Stone in some way, shape, or form in order to continue doing what he's doing. No matter how much he denies needing anybody, I think Robotnik kind of needs Stone there even though he's not willing to admit it.

Were there any scenes you shot which were particularly memorable for you that you didn't ultimately make the final cut?

Honestly, all of my major scenes made the cut. I'm so grateful for that. It's really hard to pick a favourite scene out of all that stuff as it was all with Jim, and there was always something to do and something memorable between the two characters in every scene we did. Even when he asks if I see anything on the screen and I'm like, 'Nothing at all,' and he responds with, 'That's right, it's because you weren't trained by the Native American shadow wolves!' Even in that moment, Agent Stone gives him this look, and there was always some fun to be had. Ultimately, I think the latte scene...the Austrian goat milk latte scene is my favourite just because that whole dance leads up to this one moment and it's the only time in this movie that Robotnik actually pays Stone a compliment even though it's berated and he yells at him.

You've spent some time in the Marvel Universe voicing Harry Osborn in the Absolute Carnage shorts, but would a live-action superhero movie role interest you, and do you have any characters in mind?

Ohh, that's a really good question! I grew up loving Wolverine. That's always been one of those childhood dreams of mine. If I get the chance...I don't know, there might be fan outcry or whatever, but you know, I'm a little bit hairy! I've got the bushy eyebrows! I'm Canadian! I qualify in certain ways. I'm shorter than Hugh Jackman! It's okay, we can pull it off...I'll put on the weight. I don't care! [Laughs] Wolverine, for sure. Ever since I was a child, I've wanted to play him. There are a few anime characters I've always wanted to play too if they were ever turned into live-action. There's an anime called Saint Seiya. Also, Venom. I love the anti-heroes for some reason growing up. As a kid I got picked on and I was never really in any groups and I never fit in, so I think the anti-heroes kind of had that little angry voice in me that I couldn't quite express.

Looking ahead to a possible Sonic the Hedgehog sequel, what would you like to see from Stone next if he gets to reunite with the new, unhinged Robotnik?

I would love a moment where we see why he's an actual agent. I feel like he could kick some butt. We haven't seen it yet, and I would love a moment with Robotnik as a damsel in distress and Stone shows up, saves Robotnik, and Robotnik won't admit that he's saved him!

You can find Lee on Twitter HERE, Instagram HERE, or Twitch HERE!

#sonic movie #agent stone #jimbotnik #dr robotnik #robotnik #lee majdoub interview #lee majdoub #I want to read fanfics about all the small or big ways Stone has rescued robotnik #like saving robotnik from getting burned by coffee #someone trying to poison #his food #someone infiltrating the government with the intention of taking #robotnik out #stone saving robotnik from his own self destructive tendencies

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themidnightcircusshow · 4 years

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@Thebeastisyou asked what my favourite Dorian Gray adaptation is and the answer is far too long to be put in an ask. Plus I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me this so I’m really sorry for the monster post about to be unleashed.

(As a quick bit of background- TPoDG has been my favourite novel since I was 18 and in my final year of undergrad I took a paper on European lit and their adaptations. My friends and I decided to go above and beyond which is why I have seen a frankly absurd amount of Madame Bovary, Anna Karenina, Frankenstein, and Dorian Gray adaptations. I haven’t seen every adaptation of TPoDG but I have seen most and written papers on them so whoo!)

First of all, let’s talk the straight (heh, but also unfortunately true) adaptations- 1945 and 2009. When my lecturer introduced the 1945 film he said that it was both a good Dorian Gray adaptation and also just a good film. He was wrong. Okay, that’s not quite true. I think if I had never read the book I would have found it a fine film and I know what they were going for but oh my gosh is Dorian boring in this. They were trying to have him be this living statue which certainly makes sense but a really important part of Dorian’s character is that he is not a living statue. Everyone tries to make him a piece of art in spite of how very alive Dorian is. And then there is the 2009 film. This was the film that made me want to read the book. Such a disappointment. There were some good things in here, such as the implications surrounding Dorian’s abuse and at it’s a pretty film? Not as pretty as a Dorian Gray film should be but literally none of them are. I will say that Ben Barnes should have been a really good Dorian but they just take away most of his personality. There are flashes of Dorian but most of the time it’s ‘oh I’m pretty and evil and I’m going to mope about my immortality’ shut up Dorian mopes about a lot of things but in the book he doesn’t even realise he’s immortal. A Dorian who is barely fifty does not get to complain. But the real problem with this film is Henry, who has gone from this inescapable ball of charisma to a guy having a midlife crisis. They also somehow manage to strip most of the sexual tension out of Henry and Dorian’s relationship which is just not on. Honestly if you want to see Colin Firth’s Henry Wotton watch Kingsman because that is a lot more accurate. Also both of these films have Dorian redeeming himself because he’s in love with a female relative of Henry or Basil and hahahahaha screw that noise. Also none of them actually stick to the plot of the second half of the book and instead add a bunch of nonsense. Points for actually being set in the 1800s, negative points for almost everything else. 1945 is technically a better film, but 2009 has more eye candy and is just more fun. Basil is pretty good in both.

Now, for Speculative Adaptations we have two big ones. There is really no competition between them. Penny Dreadful is a good show, though I find season two an absolute slog and let’s not talk about that finale. On the Frankenstein end I highly recommend season 1 (Seasons 2 and 3 are rubbish for Victor characterisation but slightly better for the creature). Dorian is very clearly there as fanservice because they have no idea what to do with him. None. In season 1 his relationship with Vanessa is interesting but they talk again once after that. In season 2, why was he there? Aside from, you know, ‘Dorian Gray is evil aren’t you shocked!’ And in season 3 he’s just hanging out with Lily being bored. I don’t know why this is, like, at all. I mean it’s not like a show where the main bad guy is The Devil would have anything to do with a character who sold his soul to the Devil. Who already is shown to have an eerie similarity to Vanessa, who is meant to be the Devil’s bride. What impact could this character ever have on the plot. Also Reeve Carney was good the first time I saw it but when I rewatched I quickly realised he was a) not young enough and b) not good enough at hiding his American accent. So without hesitation the winner here is The Confessions of Dorian Gray. This is a radio series by Big Finish (all hail) with the very basic premise of ‘what if Dorian didn’t kill himself at the end of the book’. ‘And is also not a fictional character’. This is my second favourite adaptation over all for one very simple reason: BEST. DORIAN. No contest. There aren’t even runners up (sorry Ben, I love you but not your best). Alex Vlahos is charming. Witty. Cheeky. He perfectly conveys the horror of everything Dorian gets dragged into, and the exhaustion of being immortal and being utterly alone. But this Dorian also gets high and yells at the monster of the week for interrupting his narration. Starts a rock band in the 60s that he names after himself. Flirts with German soldiers shooting at him. Has his boyfriend read excerpts from The Picture of Dorian Gray as foreplay. This is the only time where Dorian has even remotely come close to what is suggested in the book and it is glorious. Also, because this is very important- this Dorian is, above and beyond, bisexual. As in this is the best bisexual rep I have seen so far. In seasons 1 and 2 they alternate between the gender of Dorian’s lovers basically every episode, while season 3 focuses on male relationships and season 4 focuses on female ones. (I haven’t heard season 5 so can’t comment- this also seems to have an episode based on the book). As an adaptation I would like more book references but I absolutely love this show. Though, and I cannot stress this enough, do not listen to it in the order the episodes were released. Season 3 should have been released after season 4, what were they thinking.

I’m about to listen to the Christmas episode and based on the trailer Dorian nearly gets murdered by Santa. I am so very excited.

But the actual, best adaptation, runaway winner, is Dorian Gray directed by Duncan Roy and released in 2006. This is a modern adaptation. It is New Queer Cinema. It is amazing. And it is so difficult to find that I had to email Duncan Roy in order to get a copy (he directed me to UCLA who, because the director gave me permission, let me watch a limited time stream of it). I have seen this movie once. That once was a religious experience. Let me explain why.

First, I saw clips of this film on youtube. In these clips, I quickly realised three things: one, in spite of the time period this is the most faithful adaptation of the text (as in they add things but what is from the text is essentially lifted straight off the page. Fricking heck). Two, this film was the most intoxicating thing I have ever seen. And three, Dorian Gray adaptations live and breath off of the strength of their Henrys. And Christian Camargo as Henry Wotton is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. If you’ve read the book then you know Henry is That Guy. He is a prick. He is hilarious. He is sexy. He owns the room and you are just orbiting in it. He is very clearly Oscar Wilde’s mouthpiece (but not in the way you expect, see my academic article theoretically coming after I get my thesis done goodness help me) but is introduced passed out drunk under his piano while his maid vacuums around him. And Christian Camargo knows Henry. He gets Henry in a way I don’t think anyone really has. And that is that Henry is not being serious. Henry does not believe what he says. And above and beyond- Henry really freaking cares about Dorian. You can argue about whether that is platonic or romantic, but it doesn’t change the fact that Henry is very emotionally tethered to Dorian. Because this film goes very hard in a way the other films only dream- Basil worships Dorian. Henry knows Dorian.

There are a lot of debates about Dorian Gray as a character. Almost all of them settle on ‘Dorian Gray was abused’. In the 2009 film, this is isolation and physical abuse. The novel suggests something was there but makes nothing clear. The 2006 Duncan Roy film takes what scholars have been suggesting for years, based on Dorian’s character and the themes of the novel, and shows Dorian as being the victim of long term sexual abuse. It is implied that Dorian is not the Grandson of this wealthy lord but instead someone the man bought from a sexual slavery ring (or both, possibly both). Either way, Dorian is confirmed to have lived a while as a sex slave. Henry is the only one who knows this, and the specific way this affects him. This part of the plot is both where the film differs the most from the novel, but also how it brings out the themes of the novel. You know, how adaptations should.

In the novel, the ‘good deed’ Dorian uses to redeem himself is to not sleep with a woman who he is infatuated with. Essentially, he doesn’t want to do to her what he did to Sybil. Fair enough. In this film, Dorian’s ‘good deeds’ are killing the boys trapped in this sexual slavery ring because he wants to give them a peace he never had. That is murkier and also shows Dorian to be a much more interesting and redeemable character than a thousand forced het romances. This film is also the only one outside of the novel that remembers Dorian is very mentally and physically ill by the end. Like, hallucinations and collapsing all over the place and just very much not okay. In the film Dorian freaks out in a supermarket and Henry is the one to take care of him. It’s implied that this has been happening for a long time. And that is what the book implies would have happened to because that is the relationship the book shows between them.

Also this film, while not gorgeous, goes hard on aesthetics. Basil lives in a re-purposed prison with pretentious quotes in neon on the walls. Dorian’s ‘portrait’ is actually an installation of television screens with videos of him on it. It is the only adaptation that keeps the book Henry gives Dorian, the discussions of whether or not art can cause a person to behave in immoral ways (which may be *ahem* relevant today) and the difference between fascination and endorsement. You know, THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE BOOK.

Other fun things: Basil and Dorian are both HIV positive. It is surprising how many post 80s adaptations don’t think of this. Dorian gets an actual sex scene with a man, which is a freaking miracle. More sexual tension between Dorian and Henry than is possible to stand. Related, is the only time the flower scene has made it into an adaptation even though it is both really freaking important to the plot and also one of the most erotic scenes in anything ever.

Oh, and Tainted Love plays over the credits. Because Duncan Roy knows what the people want.

So yes, at the end of this very long (I am so sorry) post, I will proudly declare that while there is no perfect adaptation, Duncan Roy’s 2006 film is pretty damn fantastic. Let’s hope that someday soon it will be viewable to us all again.

#The Picture of Dorian Gray #Dorian Gray #Dorian Gray (2009)#Cirque Reviews #Duncan Roy #thebeastisyou #Mate I am so sorry you were probably just after something short and quick #This took me over an hour to write #There's also Sins of Dorian Gray which makes Dorian and Basil women just to no homo everything #But has a banger theme song and the scariest portrait by far #Give me an all women DG adaptation where Henry Wotton is played by Emma Thompson #Give me a book accurate adaptation #Give me everything dammit #The Confessions of Dorian Gray

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relishredshoes · 5 years

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Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group. (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Aurette and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

I'm deeply honoured to be asked.

A true titan in the world of SS/HG fic, many of our readers will have broken their hearts over your story The Tattered Man.

Okay, let’s jump right in.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Honestly, it was a whim. Long before I thought of writing, I needed a login name to read fanfic. It was a play on Auror. I had no idea it was an actual name.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Hands down, Snape. I know that might sound strange, but he was the one that clicked. My niece introduced me to the books. Being in my 30s at the time, I already had kids of my own, so I didn't identify as one of the students. I loved Harry from the start but he had this uncanny ability to keep being wrong about nearly everything. The character who best expressed adult annoyance with that was Snape. And I do love a good jerk. Snape was a jerk.

Do you have a favourite genre to read?

I'm a sucker for fantasy and science fiction. I hated reading as a child. All there was available when I was a kid was Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and it was insipid. I glommed on to mythology early but once I'd read all the books in my library on the subject, I gave up reading at all. That was about 4th grade. Children's books in the 70s were total garbage and YA books only had one author: Judy Bloom.

Ironically, my first job was working in a bookstore. It was a college bookstore, so it was all textbooks. I wasn't even a student, so I had no interest in any of them. One semester. A Lit prof assigned Fahrenheit 451. The cover art caught my eye and I read the blurb. Then started reading the book. I finished it in about 5hrs. It blew my mind. I had no idea writing like that existed. And the book was about someone discovering the value of books. It was intellectual Inception waaaaay before that was a thing.

After that, it was like a switch flipped in my head. I sucked up books air. I was never without a book or two. Or three...

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Obviously Fahrenheit 451. I'm going to go ahead and say Les Miserables as well. I was in my 30s when I finally read it and sobbed like a baby at the ending. The care and tenderness Hugo showed when portraying these disposable lives were so unique for that age. Sadly, even today. A lot of our culture is wrapped around the belief that only the wealthy have value and beauty is a pathway to wealth. The poor and ugly are a constant plague to be shunned or dealt with, not humans with crushed dreams that deserve to be valued in their own right. Look at how often fanfic recreatesSnape as handsome or Hermione as gorgeous. Those are always the least interesting stories. (hops off soapbox)

At what age did you start writing?

Whatever age I was when I wrote Safe House. Probably 40ish? That terrible little fanfic is literally the first thing I ever wrote beyond shopping lists and emails. It's an ugly child, but my first, so I love its pointy head. I intentionally leave it up so new writers can see my learning curve. No one starts out good. Read my stories in reverse chronological order and you'll see they get a little worse each time. That's how much I grew as I learned the craft.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Reading tons of it. I was at a total loss after the book Deathly Hallows came out and it was all over. Reading it had become an event in my house. My husband and I would snatch the book out of each other's hands "You've had it long enough. My turn." And then there were no more...

I couldn't even tell you how I found fanfic, but it kept me sane. I keyed in on SS/HG because at the time there was a noticeable difference in the talent level in that ship. I must have read SS/HG fanfic for a solid 2 yrs before I took a leap and wrote my own. I was inspired by the amazing stories, but also by the crappy ones. "Heck, I could do better" became its own form of allowance. So I had a small 'what if' and just went for it. Of course, it was crap, everyone's first is. But taking the leap and writing it was a huge thing for me to have done.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

I'm a sucker for a story where characters overcome emotional adversity, both external and internal. If you squint. You'll see that theme repeated throughout my fics.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

None. Nothing else ever grabbed me as a sandbox I wanted to play in before or after HP.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Gosh, I don't think I would change a thing about JK Rowling's work. Things I would change would only be me forcing her story to fit my preferred ideal. However, if you think about it, her world, the good and the bad, challenged all of us to churn out 100,000+ what ifs. Some out of anger. Heh.

As for fav piece of fanon, probably that Malfoy jr was Snape's godson. He's totally not, but whoever started that created a great layering of the dynamic between them that you can share in so many tones.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?

I was a stay-at-home mom when I was writing most of my fanfics, so I wrote in a chaotic and very noisy environment. I didn't listen to music when I wrote, but music was often the inspiration. When I would get stuck in writing, I would leave it and go listen to music that was emotionally similar to where I wanted the story to be while I thrashed out plot points. Colossus by Afro Celt Sound System is amazing for plotting a prelude to a battle.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Gosh, there are so many. Sadly, many of the authors who first inspired me are gone and pulled their fics off the web, like my fanfic bestie Dressagegrrrl. I would have to call out Pet Project by Caeria as the one I found most inspiring. Anything by ApolloniaV is pretty high up there in my book. There are dozens I'm forgetting. There was one called Resurrection Man about Snape accidentally creating a hilarious Zombie apocalypse. Best. Fic. Ever. It disappeared from the web when the author moved on. An incredible loss.

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

Total pantser. The obvious effect is to drive the story right off a cliff and be unable to salvage it. It's why I vowed to never start posting until I had a rough draft ending. Too many dead stories waiting for an ending that never came. But an outline for me is a killer in disguise. I lose interest in telling the tale because I already did in the outline. The fun part is over. Sitting at a keyboard typing your fingers off, while muttering, "What the hell are these people doing? Who's writing this stuff?!" is an amazing experience.

What is your writing genre of choice?

In fanfic, I ran with every genre there was. Mostly I wanted to see if there was one I couldn't tackle. Most of my o-fic is a hard-to-define mishmash of fantasy and sci-fi. I want to write romance, but it always turns into something complicated and angsty that no longer fits the box.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

The Tattered Man.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote?

It came off exactly as I'd planned in my head. A rare occurrence for me.

What did you learn from writing it?

I could make people cry with my words. Up to that point, I'd made readers laugh and yell and blush, but to get a reader to the point of actually weeping? That's not easy. JK Rowling did it with ease. It was a challenge.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

It's very personal. My father had just died. He'd had cancer, and it might have got him in the end, but what actually killed him was being sent home with a feeding tube and the wrong instructions. None of the homecare nurses realized the mistake until his kidneys shut down. It was devastating. When I next took up writing, I was still hurting so I tried to make others feel what I felt at a death that didn't have to be. It was crazy easy to write. I wrote it all in one day. Based on the reviews, I achieved my goal. It helped me work through my loss. Pretty sure I gave a few readers PTSD. My bad.

What books or authors have influenced you?

My all-time favourite book is Iain M. Banks' Use of Weapons. Definitely a classic among the eighteen people in the United States that read it. The man was a shockingly gifted author and I was devastated when he passed away. His ability to just drop you into the action from the first page and not bother to explain what's going on is sadistic genius.

How do you think that shows in your writing?

It led to my belief that a writer is always better when they assume their readers are smart. Grab their interest and just run. They'll catch on and even pass you with their theories of what's going to happen next. I've no patience with stories that spell out everything in minute detail. They're tedious and insulting. Less really is more. On the other hand, writing over your reader's head is just as annoying. Intentionally using obscure SAT words in your story just makes you a pretentious twat. Unless your character is a pretentious twat and it's part of the dialogue. In that case, twat away. *gigglesnort*

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

My family all knew. They were tremendously supportive. Especially Mr. Aurette, my personal Snape. Outside of my family, I was less forthcoming. Mostly because it was so crazy hard to explain. I think it's a lot less weird now, but back then? It was far more stigmatized.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

That's a hard one. For someone who'd never tried to write a story before, it was an amazing journey to realise what I could do. That changed me forever. Having the instant feedback of reviews was intrinsic to that experience. The downside is you can get sucked into writing for reviewers, and they will tell you clearly what they want and expect. That can stifle. I knew no one wanted The Tattered Man to end the way it did. I was pretty terrified of the reaction. But it's what I wanted. It was the entire point. I wrote that ending for myself, but I cowered after posting.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I absolutely loved interacting with my readers. I made some real-life friends and some really great fic buddies all over the world. I watched them become friends in reviews too. It was a really great experience. Spam-posting a fic would often take on a festival atmosphere. Unfortunately, when my review count started to really take off, I couldn't cope with the sheer numbers the same way. There weren't enough hours on the day to reply to everyone. Trying to personalize my response to a review grew overwhelming. I actually grew quite depressed over it. Connecting on a more removed, professional level seemed cold. I connected the most on Livejournal when that was a thing. But I had to back off. "Aurette" became far more witty and wonderful than I was in real life. Everyone wanted a piece of her. I couldn't keep up with the bitch. Lol. I faded away from most interactions on social media out of self-preservation. Even tiny fame can make you whacko.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

There's a few that come to mind.

1-If you want to be a better writer, kill every adverb you come across.

2-Read your words out loud to yourself. If you run out of breath, your reader will run out of patience at that exact point.

3-Dressagegrrrl was the one that finally made me see how playing POV ping pong within a scene was something that marked my writing as an amateur.

4-Stop trying to be clever. Be clever, if you are clever, but don't try. It comes off hamfisted every time. Readers hate that.

5-Never, ever, ever post something you wrote that day. You've left half of it in your head and you can't tell. It's awful.

6-If you're not even a little embarrassed by something you wrote 6 months ago, you're no longer growing as a writer.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

That's a bit of a sticking point. Stress is a muse-killer. Anything you can do to rid yourself of stress will help. Writer's block is usually the result of something going on elsewhere in your life. Fix that and the creativity will come back.

That said, my life has turned into constant stress with the result being I no longer write at all.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Everything has. 'Write what you know' is true for fantasy too. Whether it's heartbreak, or a drunken hookup that turned into love (Hello, Mr. Aurette) or a moment when you were a child and ignored or teased, or maybe the bully, all of it makes it's way into the emotional truth of a scene or character, no matter how outlandish the setting.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I have a Dropbox full of stories I've run into the wall or had to leave half finished, both fanfic and o-fic. No teasers, because at this point I don't think they will ever see the light of day. Never say never, but the light of hope is dim.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Anyone can write and everyone has something to say. Be open to the process. Part of that process involves having a stranger tell you that your shiny new love is really shit. Being defensive only prolongs your shittiness. Embrace criticism. Sometimes, the process of justifying something can actually buttress your choice, so you double down with better results. Other times, you'll see your idea wasn't working after all. Be ruthless in your editing, but don't delete. That scene you cut because it caused everything to go off the rails could be a different story trying to get out. Take that leap, you fail at everything you don't try, so why not try something you really want?

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

It's been my pleasure. Thank you for the opportunity. *waves to my readers*

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #severus snape #snape #pro snape #pro snape community #snamione #hermione granger

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parkliferobyn · 6 years

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Another tag lads

I have been tagged by the lovelies @allmyparkliofe & @pavlovers💞💞

Rules: List ten bands that you like and then answer the following questions. (i literally just listed the first bands on my recently played)

1. Blur (what a shocker)

2. Arctic Monkeys

3. Radiohead

4. Wolf Alice

5. Paramore

6. Green Day

7. Gorillaz

8. Muse

9. Cage The Elephant

10. Florence + And The Machine

Okie Dokie Question Timee:

What’s the first song you heard by 6? (Green Day) Oh gosh this was so long ago. If I am correct it was indeed ‘American Idiot’. A classic.

What’s your favourite song by 8? (Muse) Citizen Erased!!!!! Holy shit this song is epic. It’s been one of my all time favourite songs for over a year now and it still blows my mind. The song makes me cry and want to start a moshpit at the same time. It’s a musical roller coaster that never fails to impress. Matt’s vocals are some of his best on this one, the guitar solos are absolute eargasms, and the atmospherical changes are so original and brilliant. I fucking love this song to pieces. Please listen to it. I beg.

What kind of impact has 1 had on you? (Blur) The fact that this question has me on the verge of crying, left speechless and giddy, should already show you how hard it is for me to answer this question. I can’t answer this without constantly fearing I am leaving out something crucially important to me. This band... holy fuck. The way it has changed my perspective on music, relationships, life, mental illness, interactions, art, originality and honestly the biggest of all, myself. I cannot express how they have impacted me. It’s more than an impact, I feel like they have become my home, my safe place. I have never felt such emotion, care, inspiration, and attachment to a band before in this way. It’s an indescribable feeling. Love them so damn much.

What are your favourite lyrics by 5? (Paramore) The verse goes, “So one day he found her crying, coiled up on the dirty ground. Her prince finally came to save her, and the rest you can figure out. But it was a trick, and the clock struck twelve. Well, make sure to build your home brick by boring brick, or the wolf's gonna blow it down”. This is from their song ‘Brick by boring brick’. It’s almost like a dark demonic twisted fairy tale and it’s so brilliantly beautiful yet haunting. And this verse has always given me chills and I fell in love with this song for that reason.

How many time have you seen 4 live? (Wolf Alice) Never. And that makes me sad. They’ve been on three american tours since I found them out and not once have they come to my city, so I’ve never gotten the chance. I’m not giving up though.

What’s your favourite song by 7? (Gorillaz) ‘To Binge’. This songs means more to me than almost any song. I fall asleep to it every night. It’s like my safety blanket. And I love little dragon’s voice so much. Stunning song.

Is there a song by 3 that makes you sad? (Radiohead) OH yes there are many. Here’s just a few off the top of my head: Exit music (for a film), no surprises, Bulletproof... I wish I was, True love waits, Nude, Street Spirit.

What’s your favourite song by 9? (Cage The Elephant) That would have to be ‘halo’. Hands down. Or ‘lotus’. damnit this is harder than i thought.

How did you get into 2? (Arctic Monkeys) hahahahah this is one story I hate to tell. OKay here we go. So this was three or four years ago, I believe. I was at this shitty ass high school and I was a loser. And I developed feelings for this one guy in my grade. It started out small and became something that was out of control, like it was painful. I was crying everyday, I would zone out in the middle of classes just thinking about him. That was the first time I ever felt so strongly for a person, I didn’t know what it was, but it was more than a crush. It went on for two more years. And one day, I found out that his favourite band was The Arctic Monkeys. So me, being creepy, I spend an entire night, listening to the entire discography of Arctic Monkeys, who were completely out of my music taste range at the time. And i literally forced myself to listen to every single song everyday so that I could get his attention. And about a month later, they grew on me and then baM next thing I knew I was obsessed. And here we are three years later, and they are one of the most important things to me.

How did you get into 10? (Florence + And The Machine) Was at a record store and I saw their album ‘ceremonials’ and I thought it looked beautiful so I decided to listen to it and then I heard No LIght, No Light for the first time and I haven’t stopped listening to them since.

That was really fun omg

I shall tag: @beetlebun, @mark-hoppuss, @themagicofdamon, @soulmatescoexist, @gimmespacebrain, @glowinginahuddle, @truenutt, @letsfxckdamon and @howling--fantods

#another tag fellas #tags #love them #this was my favourite one ive ever done #thank youuu

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deathbyfics · 7 years

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Love for the Final XO

I didn’t want to lose these or leave them to rot in my inbox or not acknowledge them or delete them. I want to keep these forever because they’ve truly meant the world to me and I love each and every one. You guys have really shown me such love and support and I can’t express how grateful I am.

So this is just going to be a massive post of responses I got from the final. No URLS will be posted.

Thank you thank you thank you! xx

Hi! I've just finished the last chapter and it really moved me. I loved every second of Hide and XO and, let me tell you, you wrote a perfect end. I'm aware that you struggled while you were working on the fic and I saw it reflected in it. I really hope you listen to your own words and keep going on despite whatever happens in your life. Keep being positive and keep doing whatever makes you happy. Once again, thank you so much for writing such a beautiful story and congratulations on it. Lots of love from Spain ❤️

Oh my goodness, the final chapter is up. I've grown up with this fic. It helped me come to terms with and embrace my sexuality. I...just need a moment before I jump in. Thank you for everything.

I stop reading fanfics about one direction a long time ago but for some reason I always kept up with yours. I think it was they way it had them in it but it wasn’t solely about the band and it was way more realistic then an other story i have ever read them. It was truly an amazing and beautiful story thank you for continuing to write it all these years , I’ll truly miss it.

I cried throughout for Avery, Harry & their families, a bittersweet ending for a couple who had faced all that life had thrown at them with such strength, togetherness & love. They really were there for it all. Madeline's wedding was beautiful & the letter from Avery was perfect, but my god you really got me with the letter to Harry. I've loved, cried & laughed over this past 4 years sharing in their story, thank you so much Bee it's been one hell of a journey & I've enjoyed every single part❤️

I've been reading Hide since it first started and you would update every Friday. At that time I was so unhappy with my life and the situation I was in and Hide was one of the only things that I looked forward to each week. 4 years later I've much happier with my life but I've still always looked forward to all your Hide updates. You wrote an amazing story that inspired me and helped my confidence at a time when I desperately needed it. Hide is so much more than 'fanfic' to me, it will always Stick with me and I will always remember it as one of my favourite pieces of writing I've ever read. The last part was heartbreaking but fitting and you should be so proud of the world you created with Hide Bee. Xx

Oh my gosh you ruined me. But in the best way possible, I think? You are truly talented. Keep writing, my love. Congrats on closing this beautiful chapter of your life. I wish you nothing but the best. Thank you for it all. Even though I've been continuously bawling for 2+ hours. I think I'll be crying for a long time.

Words are hard to come by for me but I just want to THANK YOU for all the hours and all the days (and years) of dedication you've put into Hide. I loved every second of it, it's been a wild ride and the ending was super hard and emotional (I was in tears, actually fucking tears) but I feel like it was the perfect ending to their story. SO THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I will never forget their story, never, ever.

Bee, I just want to thank you with all my heart for creating Hide. I've learned so much from it since I started reading it in my first year of uni. I identified so much with Avery's insecurities, realized that I needed to work on my self-love, and have been working and growing since. I'm so grateful that I've been able to read this beautiful story you've written. Thank you thank you thank you. I don't doubt that you'll accomplish your dreams as a writer from this. i wish you all the best <3

I am sitting here in TEARS reading the last part of this. It's so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this piece of art with us. It truly as been an amazing ride and I'm so touched with the story. The end of an era!!!

Wow... Where to start? I'm sobbing in tge bathtub here. That was amazing and beautiful and sad and perfect. You were one of the first authors I ever read like 5 years ago when I first got into this fandom. I rec hide to anyone who will listen and even those who won't. Avery and Harry were so real. You made them come alive and gave them real world problems. I love their kids and their life. This was an amazing perfect ending. Tears and all. Thank you.

Literally sobbing. I can't say I loved it bc I don't think anyone could love reading about someone dying. Especially someone who they've grown to love as a character. However, it was beautifully written and a beautiful ending to a love story that was bigger then anyone. I can appreciate the way you wanted it to end, and there's nothing I can do to change it. But thank you for bringing Harry and Avery to us. The fact that it made me physically sad means you've done your job as a writer. All the❤️

Okay I just finished it and I had a serious panic attack just now. It definitely wasn't compeltely from reading it (I had one this morning too) so don't feel bad but it triggered me and I couldn't catch my breath there for a bit. Now that I'm calmer HOLY SHIT BEE! What a beautiful story. I can't believe I've been here since you started it, before that even. The Harry that you've created is almost exactly like how I imagine he is in real life so good job on that! I think Avery has the best character development in the story. She's real and struggles with self love just like the rest of us but she learns to love herself and be confident. I still remember the feeling I'd get when you'd upload a new chapter. I would get all excited and I would read it in one sitting (thats like 2 hours). Today I felt different when I saw that you finished it. I knew it was going to be the end and I didn't want to be sad. I think that even though the ending has really gotten to me, I understand why I understand why you ended it like that. You are real and this story is real and so you weren't going to end it all happily ever after. Avery got her happy ending in a twisted way and this story IS and always has been Avery's story. Seriously, thank you so much for sharing their world with us. And thank you for seeing your vision through instead of changing things to please other people. Please give us a heads up before you remove it once and for all cause I'd really like to reread it again.

The fact I started reading Hide three years ago and how much has changed since then is crazy to think about, but all I can say that you have created something so so beautiful. I've been sobbing for the last few hours, more than I've ever cried from any published fiction. Thank you for creating Harry & Avery. For describing a love so fierce and powerful that inspires me to settle for nothing less. Thank you thank you thank you.

the ending was so beautiful, i took my time reading carefully to soak it all up. and i haven’t stopped crying since, thank you so much for giving us this 💖

I'm full on crying. I couldn't finish reading it because it literally hurt so much but you're such an amazing writer!

i haven't been able to stop crying oh my god that was intense. YOU MY FRIEND ARE SO GIFTED IN WRITING

you actual cold hearted bitch (i'm just kidding i love you so much) how dare you

I'm halfway reading through the last chapter and I literally cannot finish it. I'm an emotional wreck as I type this to you. My eyes are all puffy and my nose is running. I needed a break before I continue reading but I just wanted to say I love how beautiful you made Harry and Avery. From the beginning of Hide, I never thought I'd see them as an unconditionally loving couple. Also, bee this fanfic has helped me open up to my being honest with my feelings and to being affectionate. Thank you.

We're just gonna act like I wasn't crying my eyes out the entire time. That being said it was so beautifully written like all of your work is.

It's hard to form into words how sentimental I feel toward Harry and Avery. Hide feels like more than a fic to me, I guess. I've followed them for as long as I can remember, I would get so excited seeing you post a new chapter each week. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You created a beautiful story and I will be forever attached to Havery. Xx

I just finished "Summer" and i'm a mess and have no words. I just wanna thank you for such a beautiful story and wish you very good luck in life, Bee. And i sincerely hope you get to, one day, write a book because you can fucking write!! xx

I have been following this blog now for a little over two years now and I have never, ever felt so many emotions in one story in my whole life. No book, no fan fiction, nothing has ever come close to this before. As a young, aspiring writer I want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your work with people. Thank you for creating such developed, mature and realistic characters. Thank you for making a fictional character be an inspirational and empowering woman who I admire. Hide has been the best piece of writing that I have ever read not just from a fanfic standpoint but from a romance story. So bravo, Hide was really, truly incredible work. Really well done with everything. I admire you and hope that you will continue writing more in the future, I will be first in line at any book signings. Well done and thank you again, Bee. x

Bee, I wasn't ready. Was not prepared in the least. I cried the entire time, literally felt like I was going through it with them. I'll miss Harry and Avery so much. I was reading back on your old blog when you were updating each chapter. I want to say the story was only maybe 10 chapters in when I found it and have been with it ever since. My fav story/characters of all time. You are so talented and I'm so happy I got to come along on this journey. Thank you! xoxo

I'm a blubbering mess. Bee, words don't do that final chapter justice. It was perfect. I've been an avid follower and reader of your fics since the good ole' days of your Can't Do Better series. When you first started Hide, I instantly fell in love with Harry and Avery's story and would find myself yearning for Sunday to come around so I could read the latest chapter. Knowing that I was about to read the last ever installment of Harry and Avery's journey, my emotions/expectations were all over the place however your writing once again blew me away and exceeded every expectation I didn't even know I had. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please continue to write, you truly have an amazing gift. Congratulations on finally finishing XO!!! It truly is an end of an era...excuse me while I cry my eyes out a bit more haha xx

How. How. How could you do this to me? I swear I haven't stopped crying. This is just heartbreaking ... your writing is absolutely beautiful. My mom died 12 years ago and left me and my two brothers and I related to Maddie so so much BecaSe I got married 2 years ago. And my dad is my hero so watching him go through that and now reading this has brought back so many memories that are just heartbreaking but that remind me that time heals all wounds.Thank you for this even if my eyes are swollen🙈

That felt so real? I feel like Im in this thing and im experiencing it for real? I hadnt even noticed that everything was blurred and my cheeks were wet. You're so so talented and I truly needed a moment of silence to just tell myself that I was reading fiction. I love literature but I have never had this feeling before, I dont quite know what to call it. It enough to say that you are incredible, and your writing ability is outstanding.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I have been keeping up with Hide/XO since I was a senior in high school (four years ago). I even canceled plans with the my friends because I knew you posting that night. But I don't think I have ever cared more about fictional characters in my entire life. Harry and Avery were the most emotional, vulnerable, accepting, flawed, provocative, loving characters I have ever encountered and it's all because of your genius mind.Thanks again for sharing them with us❤️

I've been here through it all Bee. The only thing I can think to say after reading what is probably the most beautiful thing I have ever read, is thank you. I don't remember the last time I've cried while reading a story, but I promise I ugly cried from beginning to end. You are so, so talented. We didn't deserve this kindness, this kindness of you sharing your works with us, but I'm so thankful you did. We loved Harry and Avery and we LOVE YOU. So thank you Bee. Thank you thank you thank you

Hii so I've never written in before but I just felt like I absolutely had to pop in and thank you. If you'd told me when I started this fic that four years later I'd still be checking into your tumblr daily to see if I would get another small window into Harry and Averys life I would have told you to fuck off and yet here I am. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing this story and for creating a love story and characters so realistic I feel as if I actually know them. Xx

oh my god i was literally ugly crying while reading it bee you broke my fucking heart it was so beautiful

I saw that preview and knew. I just fucking knew. It's 11:41 pst and I am bawling my eyes out!! I have been with you and this story for years and to see it end is so so heartbreaking. But GOD Harry and Avery's is so beautiful and pure. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this with us. I'm still crying and I'll probably be crying for a long time.

Oh my goodness 😭😭 my mother is a breast cancer survivor. We got so lucky with her process and reading how it could have gone for us was surreal. I was in tears the entire time. Your writing is beautiful, I have fallen in love with Avery and Harry and they have taught me so much. I read your Hide posts the moment they used to come out on Friday nights and XO has never disappointed. Thank you Bee. I know it wasn't always easy for you but I appreciate every post. I will miss this story so much!

To be honest I had to take breaks in between the reading because wow ! I cried and got emotional and I absolutely love the way you wrote this one

That was literally the most depressing thing I've ever read in my entire life, damn you and your amazing writing omg

This is undoubtedly the most beautiful love story ever written. Thank you for giving us all this wonderful gift, even if I haven't stopped crying since I began reading this last part. A million times thank you.

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I have a certain attachment to Hide and that was a beautiful way of finishing it off. Well done, Bee. Thank you

I am here in the dark BAWLING MY EYES OUT!! 😭😭😭 Girl, I haven't cried this much since the first time I saw the notebook. I loved Hide so much. It's so much more than just fanfiction tbh. This was amazing writing, thank you so much.

I have no words other then thank you for the gift you have given me. This story touched me in so many ways that I can't even explain to you but it is hands down the best damn fic I read in my life ( and trust me it's already a long one). Heartbroking ending, went back to Hide at least 5 times in the past year and a half and will be going back to many more. Except I might not go to the ending again. Amazing. Wish you the best in life

You've put us through one hell of a ride with XO/Hide and its been fucking incredible, to say the least. I've never cried more reading a story before. Harry and Avery are forever immortal in my eyes and i'll reread their love story for as long as I possibly can. This story has changed me as a person and I can't thank you enough. Although i'm incredibly sad it has come to an end ill always love it. Havery's story means the world to me and bless you for being the creative writing legend you are xo

Hide/XO (really the entirety of "Death by Styles") has literally meant the world to me these past few years. It's what I read and re read over and over again when I've needed an escape and what's kept me believing in love and fate and happiness. It may sound silly, me talking about this story like i've got some sort of attachment to it, but I do and i've loved every second of it. I've cried, laughed, and loved because of this story and I thank you for that Bee. Thank you. XO

I aspire to write a story as well as Hide/XO one day. I've read a lot of romance novels, Hide is by far my favorite. I had a feeling when you posted the warning for us to get tissues that the ending would be that way. I cried from start to finish. It was heart breaking, beautiful, and amazing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful love story. I'm glad I was able to be "here for it all." Xx

That was heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much for always making me feel with your writing.

its taken me 2 hours and 15 minutes to read that chapter. oh my god. i have never cried so much, ever. thank you for making hide, it truly is the best fanfic EVER. you are a beautiful writer. that chapter was amazing, but it was emotionally traumatising and i don't think i will ever be over it. i have been reading hide for years, so thank you for sticking with it and making it beautiful from start to end♡♡♡

Thats a chaptet that im never going to be able to re-read, but it was a beautiful, heartaching and overwhelming end to this amazing world that you created with Avery and Harry. Its been 40 minutes that i read it and im still tearing up thinking about it. Thank you so much for sharing this amazing love with us and, though it was a bitter sweet goodbye, it was filled with everything that made Avery and Harry. Its been a pleasure Bee.

I have no words except thank you. Thank you for writing a beautiful story and thank you for giving it a beautiful ending (even if it did rip my heart out). I cried so much that I had to stop at some points so I could wipe my eyes to read. You are a very talented writer and I am so thankful that you shared your gift.

Just wanted to thank you for writing Hide. I've been here from the beginning and I've absolutely loved it. I cried and cried during the last chapter, I feel a real loss. But it's been lovely and you're a fantastic writer. Thank you for sharing your gift with us <3

I followed you when you had just finished up CDB. Have been here with hide since the beginning. I think I started following in high school. I'm finishing up college soon! It's been a wild ride. So dope of you to share this story with us.

I cried the entire time reading this chapter. Even the smutty scenes. HOLY SHIT. Bravo!

Jesus, that was possibly the most heartbreaking thing I've ever read. Part of me is so mad that this is their end. Like, they were meant to have it all. I was crying through the whole piece bc I knew that not only was this the end of Avery and Harry but it was THE END of Avery and Harry. I'm just so sad for them. It was a brilliant piece of writing and I can only imagine how you felt writing it. I shall miss them very much. Thank you for giving them to us ❤️

I am heartbroken absolutely heartbroken. I am actually crying. You are phenomenal your writing is literally making me cry. I have been following you since you started writing Hide and I've loved watching you grow as a person through it and I feel I've grown up through the time this fic was written and became an adult. So it's really interesting to read this as an adult when I first started reading this as a teenager. Wow a complete round of applause to you. You wrote Harry and Avery so perfectly

I've been reading your story for 2 years already? When I found out you had a dry run I tried my best to send you positive messages. You not updating was never an issue then I saw your note that you're finally ending Harry and Avery's story and I don't know what to feel, but one thing is for sure I want to say thank you for everything. All the emotions you've made us feel as your readers I'll always love your stories! I'll even name my daughter Avery! Here for it all? Always. Thank you.

Your the only writer I've come across where you write Harry as I see Harry and it makes your stories that much more better, believable and relatable. I hope you work through your writing dilemmas because your talent shouldn't go to waste.

I just wanted to say I love your writing, and you are so talented. I had a really tough school year and between a lot of school work and friend troubles and it was really rough. Your writing has always been such a bright spot and a great distraction. I hope you feel better and know that so many people (who've never even met you) love you and care about you. Sending hugs from Boston❤️❤️❤️.

The entire time I was reading Hide, I could help but think "Harry would definitely do that" or "That is such a Harry thing". Even though I don't personally know Harry, your Harry in Hide reminds me of real Harry more than other fanfics I have read. He is goofy, carefree, sweet and an all around good person with his sarcasm and dry sense of humour. Well done. I supposed this comes from observing him for 7 year.

I would just like to say how much I love your writing and it will always hold a special place in my heart. I loved reading harry and averys beautiful story. And although it's fictional I feel as if I truly know them and I'm proud of how far they've come. It's bittersweet that their story is coming to an end as well as your time writing fanfiction. I hope in the future you continue to write, even if just for yourself, because you truly have a gift and your characters have such depth My friend and I came across your fics a few years ago and truly fell in love with your stories. We actually started telling each other "here for it all" and it became a special saying that had a deep love and meaning behind. My friend actually got it as tattoo. I'm not as daring but those words,your words, mean a lot as well as your stories. It has been an honor and privilege to read your writing. All the best to you. Excited for the last bit of havery's story. Here for it all ❤️

You are 1D of a fanfiction. Your work is the best fanfic I have read hands down. With all due respect to other amazing writers on here, you are in a completely different category. Your story about harry and avery feels real and raw and every single time I read it( and trust me I read it over and over again), it's like getting to know them and their story all over again. It's a perfection for me as a reader. So thank you

It's so bittersweet because I followed Hide since the beginning when you still had your old blog. I absolutely loved the new shot and the entire XO Series. Although I'll miss Harry & Avery, you've more than done their story justice. You should be really proud Bee! I know you've had ups and downs with this fandom but thank you for finishing Hide and thank you for everything else xxx

I never have the right words to express how your writing makes me feel. I can't even tell you the exact number of times I read Hide series. The warmth, the kindness, the rawness and realness in your writing is beyond words. I don't even know ATM if those are real words. You render me spachless and for that I thank you. This is supposed to be just a fanfic but you made it into something real and very touching. Cheers love and once again thank you for sharing your amazing writing

I’ve been trying to figure out what to say since finishing Hide. The problem is, words can’t explain what you’ve done. My mom passed away from breast cancer when she was 44. Far too young to have experienced that, while all of Hide has been incredible. The way you chose to end their story was fantastic. It was real. The way harry was written in the last part reminded me so fully of my dad and how he felt after losing his wife and having to raise kids on his own, a life he loved but did not expect. You did Avery and Harry so much justice and the way I feel about this story and how you’ve written it is inexplicable. Thank you. And you better publish something some day, the world deserves to see you’re writing. I hope you had fun last night (I was there too!) it was incredible. God bless that beautiful boy and his ability to bring out the best in people. Keep doin you, Bee! Xo

I just wanted to tell you how much the story you have created means to me. I have been in love with the idea of Avery and Harry for such a long time, I can't even remember for how long. I loved coming to your tumblr to see new chapter, I loved that you have showed me that true love can really exist, I loved everything about it. It isn't just a fanfiction about Harry, it's an amazing story that can easly be published and I'm sure it would have been a bestseller. I don't remember how I found your tumblr, but I can't describe how happy it made me. As I'm writing this I'm sobbing uncontrollably. The last shot was just too much. It felt like I was really saying goodbye to Avery. It was a sad, but a perfect ending to an amazing story, that I probably would re-read 100 times more. Thank you for creating Hide, Thank you for everything.

I am crying so much. I can't, it was beautiful. I didn't expect it but it just made me want a love like theirs, I know it's fiction but that's the love you made them have, is/was gorgeous. You did amazing with this story 👏🏻

Thank you so much for sharing Harry's and Avery's story. I'm in tears while typing this message. I almost couldn't finish because that would mean the end. It's been more and more difficult to find stories and books that I can be 100% invested in. Your story has made me feel every emotion under the sun and I can't thank you enough for this experience. Everything was beautifully written from start to finish. I've been following your blog for quite some time now and know you've struggled writing their story so thank you again for not giving up on them and yourself. You really are a fantastic writer. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Hello! I've been a long time ghost reader but I just finished the last installment of Harry and Avery. I just...it's been a while since I've cried from a story. The whole story has taken me on such a roller coaster but I loved every second of it. Being able to be apart of their development and growth, both individually and together, has been a privilege. The way you write them is incredible and I'm in such awe of you. There aren't enough words to describe how in love I am with Hide, XO, and the last 4 seasons (if I'm missing any installments i'm sorry). Your other stories...oh don't even get me started on your shorter fics cause I won't shut up about em!

I have never sobbed harder in my lifeI really want to hate you. I want to hate you so badly. But this was amazing and perfect and incredible. I'm wholly heartbroken.

I haven't stopped crying and this is all your fault haha I'm a sophomore in college and I first started reading this my sophomore year of high school. Some of my friends know of this story. You won't believe me if I say this but I always felt like Avery would die young...? She lived too much and so fast. She had this larger than life love and this grand and luxurious life and compared to how her life was before it's a huge contrast. She lived a life that is very respectful as well. I'm just sad because the way you ended this hurts a lot. I guess deep down I knew it wasn't going to be a fairly tale ending for these two but that is what you gave them and I respect you for it. I wonder if you cried as well during this because This must have been a very emotional journey for you. Thank you once again for sharing this with us. My favorite love story will be these two. Warm hugs and kisses to you dear

Not going to lie, I was upset at first when I read you were killing off Avery because I love her so. But, it was perfect. I'm still ugly crying. Thank you! I don't think I can say it enough. I may need to go and read it again for the 12th time. And that's not exaggeration. Love these two and this story!

Hey Bee! Just wanted to say thank you for Hide and XO. I discovered your writing at a not so great time in my life. And for a long time, it was what I looked forward to every week. Harry and Avery hold a special place in my heart. It might sound weird, but I sometimes think of naming my nonexistent daughter Avery cause the name reminds me of good times. I've never cried so much during a fanfic as I did the last part of XO. It was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for writing it. I know it wasn't always easy, and I appreciate every word you put into it. Thank you.

jesus christ i sobbed the entire way through that ending, it was a beautiful story and a perfect way to complete something you worked so hard on. thanks for sharing such a wonderful story 😊

wowowow I have never cried so much while reading a fic. the entire series has been incredibly amazing and beautifully written. thank you so so much for continuing the story through all these years and every up and down. here for it all💜💜

#hide fic #xo:series #havery #feedback

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cabotcreekuniversity · 7 years

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Dear Melody Baxter as portrayed by JAYNE,

Congratulations! On behalf of Cabot Creek University, I am pleased to announce your admission for Fall 2017!

The academic and personal accomplishments reflected on your application for admissions are exactly what Cabot Creek University embodies and represents.

We cannot wait to greet you this coming school year.

Please [ check here ] for further instructions on accepting the offer of admissions. We look forward to working with you.

Name, Age, Timezone, Pronouns:

My name is Jayne, I am 23 years years old. I live in England, so my timezone is GMT+1 and I use She/Her pronouns.

✯ IC Questionnaire ✯

Character name:

Melody Marie Baxter

Character major:

Melody studies History - she particularly enjoys studying European History, especially WWII and the French Revolution. She believes that in order to have a right, peaceful and progressive future, we must learn lessons from the mistakes of the past and what better way to do that than by studying History. She plans to teach others once she graduates - if she graduates.

Clubs or sports:

Debate Council - any excuse to argue her point without being told she needs to shut her mouth. Humans Vs. Zombies - she’s a survivor and if a zombie apocalypse happens, she wants to be ready. Martial Arts - she’s teeny and therefore, she needs a little something extra in order to protect herself. Plus, kick a zombies arse? Hell yes!

Will your character have a job?:

She is a ‘cocktail waitress’ at the Electric Martini, although once she gets into her second year she hopes to teach intro undergrad classes for History.

Give us a head canon about your character:

When Melody sleeps, she is dead to the world. She could sleep through a war zone, a natural disaster and possibly the zombie apocalypse that she is supposed to be preparing for.

Melody has 15 stuffed unicorns hidden around her room, and she is still collecting. She has no idea why she loved the majestic, mythical creatures so much but she just does.

Answer the following questions IC about your character. Feel free to use a gif to respond if you’d like:

What is an issue you feel most passionate about?:

“The apocalypse” she said, without hesitation. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? Zombie or not, the apocalypse is coming and we need to be prepared for it. With everything our crazy politicians are doing in Washington, I am surprised the world hasn’t imploded already! I keep a backpack full of essential supplies under my bed, in my car and in my bathroom, just in case I need to leave in a hurry”.

Describe your thoughts on social media?

“It can be very useful, especially when I want to catch up with my friends from back home… or stalk them a little” she giggled, “although honestly, I have found now social media is used as a platform for some rather negative things… I have pulled away from it more and more, with every year… but of course, I still have it, I would be crazy to get rid of it. It would feel… lonely I guess” she sucked on her bottom lip for a moment, “how strange, that we feel as close to someone through our computer screen as we do face to face”.

What is your favourite fandom or movie or TV show or book series (choose one)?:

“I love Game of Thrones, I mean, I am pretty obsessed with that show. I schedule my work around it whenever the new season appears and I have read all of the books - which are very different to the shows in a lot of ways, but still amazing” she grinned, brushing her hair back behind her ears. “I really love the setting, medieval in a way but at the same time magical and mysterious - I really want a dragon.. oh the things I could do with a dragon! And a direwolf… oh my gosh, shut me up now before I talk for days…”

Opinion on love and romance?

“After watching my parents fight one another for all these years, I am not so sure anymore. I think it must exist for some people, but I don’t necessarily believe that love is for everyone -not anymore” she sighed, twisting a strand of hair around her pinky finger, before dropping it. “Maybe, if I ever fall in love one day, I will have an opinion of my own to share but until then…” she sniffed, lowering her head, “… I don’t know”.

Optional Extras:

Mock Blog - All my bits and piece for Melody are on this blog, I didn’t want to make the application longer than it already is!

#horror rp #ccuaccepted #new rp #mature rp #lsrpg

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sophiaravensfromillea · 7 years

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Selection Challenge 1 [2/2]

Slowly I close the drawer of my desk and tuck away any left over make up utensils. I take one last look in the mirror, grab my western guitar, which i brought from home, and start strumming some random patterns. I humm along to the chords of my favourite song. My fingers fly over the guitar’s neck, my thumb and index finger start picking the strings in a aimless order. The notes are getting faster and louder and soon i am floating through thousands of melodies. My eyes fall shut and my ears listen carefully to the music my delicate hands create.

My body jerks just as my ears absorb a deep cough coming from the door. My eyes fly open and my head is already moving towards the door. And guess who is standing there? Prince Haiden, life and in person. And do you know who has already forgotten that they had a date with said person? Me.

I jump off the bed i’ve been sitting on, place the guitar in its case, grab the books i’ve wanted to return and finally walk towards Prince Haiden. With an apologic look i greet him and drop a curtsey. He offers me his arm and we start walking down the hall.

„So how are you today?“ I start the conversation.

„Pretty good. How about you?“

„That’s good to hear. I am fine, a bit tired due to reading all night“

Haiden starts laughing.

„Do you do that often?“, he asks with a look of wonder on his face.

„Sadly yes. Sometimes I just can’t control myself“

„I understand. Sometimes a book is too good to even think about stoppping. Once i snuck a book into a budget meeting because i didn’t want to stop“

„Really?“, i look at him with surprise, „Okay, that’s a new level of ´one last chapter´! Did you manage to finish it during the meeting at least?“

„Most definitely, but it didn’t help that the main character died during that part and i almost cried.“

„Ohh no, that’s awful“, I exclaim.

„What do you like to read?“

Don’t freak out and start rambling Sophia, or else he will already be creped out.

It’s not helping that you are staring at him the entire time.

I let my eyes wander of the colourful paintings clustering the hallways. Scan each and every one of them and study their colour composition

„I really enjoy young adult novels with tons of different topics. But I am also really into dystopian and fantasy novels and in between i try to read as many classics as I can. How about you?“

I face him again and study his expression.

„I like historical fiction and memoirs and biographies. Reading about other people’s lives is something I love to do.“

I nod and try to keep my eyes fixed on my shoes, I really wasn’t planning on falling down these long stair case.

„Is there a particullar book you are really fond of or don’t you pick favourites at all?“

One feet after another Sophia, you can do this.

„I definitely try not to pick favourites because I think all my books are special in their own right, but I’ll have to say The Art of War by Sun Tzu is a great book.“

Just replace the word book with the word woman and you pretty much have how he views them.

I nod while we turn around the corner, walking towards a huge door, with gold handels and all sorts of carvings inside the rim of the wood. Two guards greet us and hold the doors open.

„That’s understandable. Soo (..) how are you holding up with all these wonderfull lady’s around you?“ I try to lighte the conversation.

„Um I wouldn’t say holding up, per sé. More like `Trying to hide falling apart.´ But overall it’s going well“, he says with a chuckle.

„Why do you feel like falling apart“, I ask concerned and look him straight in the eyes. Gosh, I really hope he is fine.

„Nah I’m fine. Mostly just me being dramatic as usual.“

„Are sure?“ He better not be lying.

„I’m sure it’ll be harder, but all of you are being very gracious so far.“

I look at him and see a genourus smile. I return it and state: „That’s nice to hear. I don’t think i could handle holding a selection and i have a lot of respect for you handling it the way you do. And I really hope you find the one your heart is looking for.“

I settel down on a nice looking couch with expensive cushions leaning against it. I let my eyes scan my souroundings and absorb every little detail. The library is still as breathtaking as it was the first time i was here. I visited this place a few days ago with the company of my new found friend Lady Mila. She is really one of a kind and just loves books as much as i do. We talked a lot and staggered through the aisles. I found a few treasures and managed to bring one up to my room.

„Thank you i don’t know exactly what that is yet, but I’ll know it when I see it, I suppose.“

So it can’t be me.

Mila and I have gotten to know each other a lot lately. We joked a lot about one us being Queen one day, living in this palace and never letting the other go. This big place would be very lonely without a friend like her. She is very different to Lillian, but I am not complaining. It’s nice to actually have friend who has the same interest as you do. I wonder if I could ever be friends with Haiden, and maybe even more. He seems very nice and laid back.

„It’s there anything you want to know? I feel like I just drill with you with questions“

„No, it’s fine. I’m not to great with asking questions, so sometimes it’s better for me to leave the option open for someone else.“ He folds his leg over the other one and shifts a bit towards me.

„Soo…“, please don’t ask something stupid, „you were homeschooled, right? What was your favourite subject?“

Here it comes.

„Literature and history. I didn’t dislike mathematics, but it was always harder for me to enjoy. How about you?“

His eyes start to glow when he talks about something he is very passionate about. He had this same glimm in this eyes when we started talking about books earlier. It’s hard not to notice this little things about him, just like the constant picking at his delecate skin.

„I was and still am a huge fan of english and music. I also enjoyed chemisttry and wanted so badly to be really good at it, but it never quite worked out. Don’t get me wrong, I was still the best one in my class, but I always messed up my exams (…)“

„What did you like most of music?“

What did i like most about it? Definitely not the people.

„Mhh. I really enjoyed it when all of us came together and made an amazing piece of art, with different kinds of melodies and harmonies, self-written lyrics and tons of instruments. Our music teacher always encouraged us to make music and not just talk about it.“

Music was always a place, where i connected with so many people, just based on the fact that we all treasured this beautiful kind of art.

„I heared you play the guitar earlier, it was beautiful“, he mentions with a smile plastered on his face. I take his compliment and return his smile.

„Is this the only instrument you play?“, he asks with a curious expression on his face.

„No, I also play the violin and the piano. I am trying to learn how to play the drums, but apparently I am not made for it. That means my brother can keep his drums to himself.“ I laugh silently to myself . I look up and suddenly stare into confused eyes.

„You play piano, really?“

„Yeah i do, for seven years now. Why are you so surprised?“, I ask with a hinter of a slight giggle.

„Oh, uh, well, I do as well“, he says and runs his hand trough his hair. How awkward. I start laughing at his hilarious expression. For a moment he just looks even more confused and after a second he joins my laugher.

„So you do? What’s your favourite piece to play“; i say in between breaths with a grin still plastered all over my face.

„I have no idea. I love both modern and classic so there’s no telling“

I nod and add: „Same over here. Most of the time i play some random classic piece, but sometimes i work on one of my favourite songs at the moment and sing a long with a couple of friends.“

We just smile each other and i grab my book and place it back into one of the shelves. Carefully i run my fingers a long of the spines of the endless books resting in one of these shelves.

„You know what? I am really glad that you hired Baguette. I really don’t know how to live without his food any more“

„I know what you mean. Despite his, um, temper, he is most definitely the best chef in Illea.“

„Yes I’ve seen him freak out the last time I went to the kitchen. He was really upset about something, I heard he and Hux broke up and now he refuses to bake me a pie. He was literally screaming at me and Naomi“, I exclaim, „Oh well. I hope Aliya will fix the mess she made.“

„That’s upsetting. I should talk to them. I wouldn’t it beneath Baguette to poison any food when he’s upset.“

I slowly blink and stare at him very disturbed for a very long time. Gosh, I really hope he doesn’t or else i’ll be the first one to die with my love for food. I speak up about my concerns and Haiden calms me down.

„Don’t worry. I’ll have it tested beforehand.“

Time starts to stand still. I don’t register anything anymore, only the way his melodic laugh leaves his mouth. We talk about our favourite meals, secret dreams and courage.

„Maybe I have the courage to do it one day“, i sigh and give him a sad smile. My keep wandering around the room and I nearly missed his answer.

„I hope you do.“

I look him and the eyes and say softly: „I have to say, I actually enjoy talking to you Haiden.“

„Me as well. I’m hoping to get to speak more with you in the future.“

The future.

„I am looking forward to that.“

I look at my wrist, just to see the watch displaying the number ten o'clock. Shit.

„Oh Gosh, it’s already so late. I hope I didn’t keep you from something important I am genuinely sorry.“

I really hope he forgives me. What an Idiot I can be, gosh he was probably so bored the entire time and just wanted me to stop finally talking. And now he is laughing, he definitley hates me.

„Of course not. This whole thing is about finding a wife. Can’t rush things“

I exhale slowly. Good. He isn’t mad.

„Thank God. I was really scared for a second that I ruined your evening.“

„My evening will never be ruined when I’m with you lovely ladies.“

„That’s good to hear. Can i ask you one last question?“

„Sure“

I chew at my lips and suddenly lose all of my previous strengh.

Gosh, Sophia, pull yourself together.

„The next time we meet, i mean if there is a next time, could be play a piano duet together?“; I ask quietly.

„Of course will there be a next time“; he smiles at me, „and i would definitley enjoy a piano date with you, Lady Sophia.“

#selection oc #sophiaravens #my fic #fanfic #willowshields

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