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ladykailitha · 7 months

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Corroded Coffin Headcanons!

Why yes, I am procrastinating. Why do you ask?

I've good all week and want to take a little break and descend into madness, so I'm allowed, okay?

As always, you can headcanon whatever the hell you want, just like I can, so please no hate. Good?

Good.

This mostly about the members of CC and not necessarily about the band as a whole.

I'm going to do Eddie last because we know the most about him.

The Unnamed Freak- And as far as I've heard around, this dude STILL doesn't have a name. I've seen all sorts of names for him: Frank, because it sounds like freak; Grant, because that's the actor's name; Archie, is another I've seen crop up a lot; and of course a smattering of others. In all of my fics, he's Brian. All the other members of the band had epic names: Gareth, a knight of King Arthur's Round Table, Edward, the name of several of England's kings, and even Geoffrey has a lot of famous people of that name. So he gets named Brian. Usually his last name is Martin.

He met Eddie because they were seated next to each other due to their last names in band. Eddie got him into metal music and the subculture.

Bassist for the band he began learning at an early age, early enough that he was and is the band's only bassist.

He is the oldest of four kids having three younger siblings. Two brothers and a sister. He tries to get out of babysitting as often as he can.

He's ace but not aro. When I age him up in stories, he's often in a romantic relationship, but never a sexual one. He's not sex repulsed but it's not for him.

He was held back in kindergarten and understands what Eddie is going through as far as being older than his peers.

He's a year younger than Eddie, and if he hadn't been held back would have graduated with Steve.

Jeff- Everyone thinks his given name is Geoffrey, but nope. It's Jeffrey. It's because his mom thought it would be easier for him. Nope! He has one older sister who is away at college. His last name is Lawrence mainly because I love that name and I think Jeff Lawrence just has a nice ring to it.

He is the grade he's suppose to be in, the same grade as well...literally every other older teen in the series except Steve and Eddie. In fact he's super smart, but doesn't have the patience to help Eddie with his school work. He gets frustrated too easily.

His mom hopes he gives up the idea of super stardom soon because she thinks he's smart enough to be a doctor.

In my fics where I age them up, he has a white girlfriend and understands Eddie's fear of going public with a guy, because in the 80s, black boy and white girl is just as bad as being gay. Still is in some places, sadly.

Jeff is Eddie's best friend, mainly because they both play guitar. Jeff is rhythm guitar, though because Eddie is far and away the better player.

Jeff is bisexual. Yes, he is with a girl most of the time and his relationship with his girlfriend is a lot like a couple friends of mine, where they are both bisexual, but dating an opposite member from their sex. Still experiences attraction to the same sex, though.

Gareth- this might shock some people but Emerson is a fanon not a canon last name for the character. And because I headcanon him as second generation American, his grandparents migrated over to America from Wales and his dad is first generation, their last name is Hughes. His dad knows Welsh, but Gareth and Gethin his twin brother don't.

The main reason I think this is because Gareth is a very Welsh first name. As is the name Gethin, in case you were wondering. It's why I picked Gethin as the name of his twin.

I think Gareth is a twin because there is a character in the first episode taking pictures at the basketball game that looks a lot like Gareth, almost uncannily so. You can even see Nancy talking to him for a moment.

Gareth is gay and Gethin is straight. Gethin is everything his parents would want from a kid, straight, smart, into photography, preppy. Everything Gareth isn't. He's gay, struggles in school, drums for a metal band, and is a metalhead.

That's not to say his parents aren't supportive, because they are. They let Corroded Coffin play in their garage, after all. But Gareth still feels like a disappointment anyway.

He's a junior in high school and absolutely wants to drop out when his bandmates graduate, but he's afraid his mom will kill him.

Eddie- Look, I know I've used Edward as his full name a lot, but sometimes Edmond is just the superior name. And I use them interchangeably, but yeah it's probably Edward considering he grew up poor.

Wayne is a Catholic (you see a calendar of the saints in the trailer) and Eddie grew up around Catholicism, but the more he realized he was gay and moved further into the metal subculture the less he liked the religion.

Yes he does know the patch on the side of his denim vest is the church of Satan. :D

Wayne bought him his first guitar after his mother died and taught him how to play as way of coping with the grief.

Eddie was one of those students that coasted in school until his senior year where suddenly the difficulty was ramped up to eleven.

He promised his mom that he would graduate from high school though, because she didn't. She got pregnant with him.

I think he was 11 or 12 when he went to go live with Wayne, just barely starting middle school. He's been around Wayne long enough that he knows he's loved by him, but old enough to have been influenced a little by his dad's life style.

In fact, it was his dad that got him into dealing drugs for Reefer Rick.

His dad keeps coming into town and dragging Eddie back down with him and leaving Wayne to pick up the pieces.

I've written him bisexual in the past, and probably will again, but there is just something about Eddie being gay that hits a sweet spot. An extra box to tick in the freak department (not that being gay is bad, it's just how Eddie would see it).

The Munson Doctrine is a serious things he's picked up over the years from his dad and uncle but also his experiences with life as whole.

Did NOT get bullied by Steve. Especially since for most of Steve's high school career Eddie was the grade above him. He just dealt at enough parties to "know" rich+good looking+popular with girls=douchebag. But he hasn't had any direct experience with Steve outside of the odd class they had together his second senior year.

Is the president of the Hellfire Club in practice, but on paper it's usually someone else. Someone more liked by the principal. And is billed as a gaming club on the school records so that it doesn't get banned. Everyone knows it's DND.

Corroded Coffin- Just a little headcanon here. Gareth is the second drummer but everyone else were original members that played at that Talent Show (Gareth would have been in fifth grade). They picked up Gareth after their original drummer moved away.

So there you go, just some of my headcanons for the CC boys.

#ladykailitha rants #eddie munson #jeff stranger things #unnamed freak stranger things #gareth stranger things #corroded coffin #headcanon

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pinkiedev · 23 days

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Payback Ch. 3

A shrunken Steve Harrington captured by a thinks-he's-hallucinating Eddie Munson continues~

First: Ch. 1

Previous: Ch. 2

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Eddie stared down into his weed box, every coherent thought deciding to take a vacation from his scrambling mind. Yep. Tiny Steve was still all there and as real as Eddie’s clearly hallucinating mind could make him.

The little guy was shoved up in the corner of the lunchbox, looking… a little worse for wear. Eddie decided to blame that on the rat. He squinted, leaning in closer and pointedly ignoring for the moment how Stevie-the-Illusion scrambled back.

The tiny dude was… wearing PJs? At least, that’s what Eddie thought the… being… hallucination… person was wearing. He meant, like, the guy had on a baggy gray t-shirt and red plaid pants, which was pretty much the cover photo concept for men’s sleepwear. Eddie himself slept in boxers and nothing else, but their trailer also didn’t AC, so.

“Soooo…” Eddie finally drawled, dragging out the word and carefully taking a seat in front of the box on the table, keeping his eyes trained on mini-Steve like he’d disappear if Eddie looked away. Which… was honestly a genuine possibility.

Hallucination-Steve made no visible attempt to respond, and Eddie nodded thoughtfully, cupping his own chin. Shockingly enough, he still had exactly zero ideas on what to do now. So. Lay out the facts. One, he was still pretty sure this wasn’t real. Two, for whatever reason, he was seeing Steve goddamn Harrington of all people - who was now apparently the size of Eddie’s hand. Three… hm.

Eddie eyed tiny-Steve, who was still tensed up and pressed tightly against the left back corner of the weed box, chin tilted up high as he glared straight back at Eddie.

The sheer audacity, the boldness of that - to stare down what was definitely a fucking giant from his point of view? Yeah, that definitely gave off King Steve vibes. Sure, Eddie would’ve liked to have said he thought Harrington would turn tail and run at the first real sign of danger, but… it was that last year of their shared high school experience that stopped him from clinging onto that petty belief. There’d been this look in Harrington’s eyes, a stone-cold glint that’d make Eddie think he was a killer, were he anyone else. He was King Steve, though, so Eddie resolutely refused to believe that just on principle 'cause of the sheer, wicked badassery that’d automatically be associated with it.

He was getting off track. It didn’t actually matter what real-Steve would do, anyways, since this was fake-Steve. And this was definitely fake-Steve because last Eddie checked - and by that he meant having spotted Harrington through the window of the Video Store before having entered and then promptly bolting like the coward he was just last week - Harrington was still just a hair short of six feet high, not barely cusping five damn inches.

Well, Eddie wasn’t getting anywhere just twisting his thoughts around in circles, and whatever drugs he’d accidentally got high off of obviously weren’t gonna exit his system anytime soon, so he tentatively reached a ring-clad hand out for the figure hunkered down in the corner of his lunchbox.

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And so it continues again :3333 watcha think so far?

#gt community #gt writing #sfw gt #g/t #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #fanfic

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noodlecupcakeswritings · 2 years

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An Eddie Munson Collection - Part 1 - Corroded Coffin

You work at The Hideout and Correded Coffin are playing their first show, the lead, Eddie catches your eye and you've caught his.

A collection of Eddie Muson one shots ranging from fluffy to smutty

Warnings: Drinking, Fluff, Flirting, This is pretty tame compared to my usual work

Part 1

When you stepped into The Hideout tonight to begin your shift, it felt like any other Tuesday night. It was going to be quiet; some shitty band was going to play on the stage and there was likely one person that would get too drunk and out of hand. But thankfully you’d been here long enough to know how to handle yourself. Or let the manager deal with it. You never saw any harm in hiding in his office and stealing a cigarette whilst he cussed out a customer.

Placing your purse down behind the bar, you adjusted parts of your outfit, making sure the fishnet sleeves were sat right before pulling down your black dress a little more. Opening your compact, you made sure your makeup and hair were also still in place. There were already a few of the regulars scattered here and there. Two sat at the bar, another three were at a table together. These guys were friendly, and you’d never had any trouble with them. In fact, on nights where your manager wasn’t in, they were the first line of defense for anyone that got too rowdy.

The door opened and in walked Eddie Munson. He’d been here last week asking your manager if his band could play tonight. And oh boy, was Eddie Munson cute. Long, wavy dark brown locks framed his freshly shaved face and his soft hazel eyes met yours. The look in his eyes was similar to a puppy’s. You had to remind yourself to play it cool and not seem too interested, but confident enough to talk to him. “Hey, I’m Eddie. Your boss, Rob, said my band could play tonight. That’s still cool, right?” He asked.

“Yeah. You guys good to be set up by ten? That’s when this place picks up, not much, but at least you’ll have more of an audience,” you explained. “Tens good. Thanks.” Eddie headed back outside to tell his bandmates they were still on for tonight before coming back into the bar. You made a mental note that Eddie was the only one who looked remotely close to the legal drinking age out of four of them. You watched from the bar as they began setting up their instruments on the tiny stage.

Eddie helped everyone else set up before he finally pulled his electric guitar from its case. Judging by the look in his eyes, this was his most precious possession. You noted the various patches across his battle vest, particularly the huge Dio one on the back. At least it would give you something to talk about if he came back over to the bar. Besides, you had to know your stuff working in a bar like this. When new bands played here every week, you had met your fair share of metal elitists. The type of guy who would be offended if you didn’t know who Metallica was, but then expect you to name every song to be a ‘true fan’.

Whilst metal was one of your favorite genres, you were more into the Goth scene, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and The Cure being your particular favorites. Slowly but surely, the bar began to get some more customers, and you were busy opening beers and cleaning glasses when you heard the familiar sound of guitar feedback screeching from an amp. The show was about to start. Instead of introducing the band as most did, these guys got straight into the music. The familiar upbeat tune of Ace of Spades started to play. Now they had your full attention.

It was a ballsy move to go up there and open with such a beloved Motorhead song. But none of them missed a single beat. And Eddie didn’t sound half bad either, although your focus was slowly drawn more to his fingers. Each one had a different chunky silver ring and yet they practically glided across the strings of his guitar. Even when it came to the solo, he hit every note without breaking a sweat. Eddie somehow made it look effortless. Your mind began to wonder, maybe his fingers were good at other things too.

Heat spread across your cheeks and between your legs at the thought of his fingers elsewhere. His gaze met yours from across the room and for a moment, you were transfixed, unable to look away. The rest of the room seemed to fade, the music drowning out the sounds of customers talking amongst themselves and the hum of fridges below the bar. Eddie smiled and winked, your heart practically stopping for a second.

You’d had your fair share of flirtatious lead singers, but there was something different about Eddie. He was confident, but not to the point of cocky. Nor was he laying it on too thick that it borderlined harassment. A customer snapping his fingers for your attention brought you out of your daze and you quickly made up their order to avoid pissing them off further. You couldn’t stand the finger snappers or the whistlers. You were not a dog, so you didn’t need to be signaled at like one.

The band continued to play well into the night, playing a full set of twelve songs. Whilst they were all cover songs, you didn’t mind, and neither did the regulars. In fact, you were quite impressed. “We’re Corroded Coffin, thanks for having us tonight,” Eddie addressed the crowd. There were a few scattered claps and a drunken cheer here and there, it was a better reaction than most bands got. The band packed their instruments up and loaded them into the car. But Eddie decided to stay behind for a drink, making his way over to the bar, his gaze fixed on you.

You took a deep, calming breath before offering him a kind smile as you made your way over. “What can I get you?” You asked. A part of you hoped he said something stupidly cheesy, like ‘your number’ because at that moment you would have given it without a second thought. “A beer. And one for yourself if you’re allowed,” Eddie replied. “Well, luckily for you, my boss isn’t here tonight and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” You pulled two from the fridge, opened them, and handed one to Eddie.

“Cheers,” Eddie spoke, clinking his bottle against yours. “What are we celebrating?” “I’d say our first show went pretty well and I can’t legally celebrate here with my band. And you’re not gonna make me celebrate on my own, right?” “It would be rude if I did.” “Exactly.” You both drank a few mouthfuls from our beers. Eddie glanced around as if looking for someone.

“Is Rob around? I didn’t see him during the show, and I wanted to know if we had a chance of playing here again,” Eddie explained. A soft smirk spread across your face, you knew something he didn’t, and his fate was essentially in your hands. “Rob isn’t here tonight,” you answered. Eddie frowned softly, “okay.” “But he trusts me to tell him if you were any good or not.”

“Ah. And what did you think?” He asked. “Honestly?” “Completely.” “I thought you were pretty impressive. One of the best bands we’ve had here in a long time.” Whilst you wanted to gush over him and tell him just how amazing he was, you thought that might be a bit much and could potentially scare him off or inflate his ego to unlikeable levels. Eddie smiled, pleased with your answer.

“I mean, I could tell you liked what you saw. Couldn’t keep your eyes off me,” Eddie smirked. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face along with the blush across your cheeks. “And now you're blushing,” he continued. Thankfully, at that moment, a customer approached the bar, and you left Eddie to take their order. Eddie stuck around at the bar until closing time, leaving the two of you alone. “I gotta close up,” you mentioned. “Do you have a ride home?” He asked.

“I usually walk.” “You walk home? Alone? This time of night?” “Yeah. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.” “But what kind of man would I be to let you walk home alone?” “Not a very good one,” you teased. “Exactly. And I like to consider myself a gentleman, so it would only be right to walk you home.” “Alright, let me lock up.”

Grabbing your purse from under the bar, you did a final check that the back door was shut and locked, as were the windows. The money from the till was in the safe in Rob’s office. The bar and tables were clean. Heading to the front entrance with Eddie, you turned the lights off before locking the door behind you both. “How do I know this isn’t your way of finding out my address and using it to stalk me?” You asked jokingly. “Dammit, you’ve seen through my plan,” he chuckled.

You knew he was just messing with you. Eddie wasn’t the stalkery type, and besides, you already felt pretty safe with him as you started off out of the parking lot and to the road. You both started talking about your interests, from music to movies, finding that you both had plenty in common. Nobody had taken quite an interest in you like this for a while, and Eddie’s interest was genuine, not just a ploy to get in your pants. You were a little sad when you reached your driveway, as it meant that you probably wouldn’t see him again until next Tuesday.

Glancing nervously at the living room window, you prayed your father wasn’t peeking through the curtain. The last thing you needed was a lecture on boys, especially ones like Eddie. “So, how far is your place?” You asked, hoping it wasn’t too far. “I’m all the way back at the trailer park.” “Eddie, you didn’t have to walk me all the way-” “No, no, I wanted to. You’re worth it.”

You couldn’t help but blush again, which only caused him to smile. “And you're super cute when you blush like that,” Eddie added. “You’re not so bad yourself.” Meeting his gaze, you forgot about any previous anxieties you had, only able to focus on him. It was only now that you realized how close he was to you, your stomach doing flips as anticipation and tension built between the two of you.

“I suppose you want a thank you for walking me home?” You asked. “My parents at least taught me the importance of manners before taking off.” Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his in a kiss that was slow yet passionate. Eddie tangled his fingers in your hair and wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you flush against him. When you both pulled away, you knew that waiting until next Tuesday would be too long of a wait. You had to see him tomorrow, hell you wanted to spend the rest of the night with him.

Digging in your purse, you produced a pen and grabbed Eddie’s hand to write your number across the back of it. He glanced down at the number, his smile turning into a grin. “That a good enough thank you for you?” You asked. “I’d say so. Would it be considered too eager to use it tonight? I know there’s some bullshit rule of waiting till the next day.” “You can call me tonight; it would be nice to know you get home in one piece.” Both of you exchanged goodnights before you entered your house, taking one last look at Eddie before you closed the door. You watched him walk away through a small crack in the curtain, now eagerly awaiting the familiar ring of your phone so you could hear his voice again.

Taglist: @sweetfictionalworld, @kittyofalltrades

#eddie munson #eddie munsonxyou #eddie munsonxreader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson feels #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things feels #stranger things fluff #stranger things smut #stranger things angst

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threewaywithdelusion · 1 year

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Queer Stranger Things Characters

I think it's very odd and interesting how the Stranger Things fandom interprets its characters' sexualities. Like there's this really big push to make all the characters queer, and while I'm a big fan of stories about queer friend groups, I don't think Stranger Things is that story. Especially in canon.

I divide the characters into four groups, based on how likely I think it is that they're actually queer (referring mostly to canon, and a little bit to common Fanon).

Characters That The Narrative Confirms Are Queer: Will. Robin. Vickie. Billy. Eddie. Barb.

Characters That Are Easily Read As Queer: Steve. Tommy. Argyle. Nancy.

Characters Who Can Be Made Queer For Stories: Max. Mike. Jonathan. Chrissy.

Characters Whose Straightness You Can Pry From My Cold Dead Hands: Dustin. Lucas. Eleven. Nancy part 2. Joyce. Hopper.

There are characters who make no list, such as Erica, Murray, Jason, Carol, and more minor characters. This is because we don't know enough about them to fit them into any one category.

First the characters who are confirmed queer:

Will has an entire plot around being in love with Mike.

Robin is openly a lesbian.

There's no way Vickie isn't bisexual, even if Robin has doubts, because narratively her character makes no sense if she isn't a love interest for Robin.

Billy has to be into men in some capacity because otherwise the way he just to bully Steve is just really fucking bizarre. Like cornering this dude in the showers is just really strange behavior and Billy's really intense masculinity is obviously compensating for something (probably partially to meet his father's standards, but it would make a lot of sense if he's gay and trying to hide it).

In my reading of canon, Eddie has to be bisexual. There's no way he wasn't flirting with Chrissy, so I think he's into girls. He also doesn't understand personal space when it comes to Steve, which could be a sign of neurodivergence, but if you add how he treats to Steve to the fact that he's literally flagging then he has to be queer in some way.

Barb is interesting because I don't think the show does anything to indicate she's a lesbian, but the book Rebel Robin sure does and I'm choosing to count it.

Next the characters who are easy to read as queer, but whose queerness isn't necessarily confirmed in the text:

Steve is interesting because I think a large part of the reason people are eager to read him as queer is that he's the male lead. (Kind of. Arguably that's Will or Mike, but when it comes to the older and thus more shippable characters, it's definitely Steve). Also, this man attracts queer people like a flame attracts moths. Both in the sense of them literally being attracted to him (Billy, Eddie, Tommy) and in the sense that he surrounds himself with queer people without seeming to realize it (Robin and Tommy as his two long-term best friends). Seems kind of gay. So his interactions with all of these people make it very easy to read him as bi/pan/queer.

Tommy's actor explicitly said he played him as having a crush on Steve, which has largely influenced the Fanon interpretation of Tommy. Also it explains a lot about his extreme jealousy towards Nancy Wheeler.

Argyle's motto is "try before you deny" and he grew up in California. This dude has at the very least experimented with guys before and in my mind he's pan/generally queer.

Nancy. Nancy is interesting because she makes this list twice. She's commonly portrayed as bisexual (at least in the parts of the fandom I see) but I think she's either a lesbian or a straight girl with no in-between. There's this one post talking about how Nancy comes across as a lesbian suffering from comp-het because the Duffer brothers are two guys who don't know how to write attraction to men from a women's perspective, and I agree. So in that sense, Nancy is either ace or a lesbian. However, if you're reading this on the level of what the writers intended, then Nancy is straight, so she makes this list twice.

Characters who are often/can easily be made queer for stories:

I don't know why Max feels right here, but she does. Maybe I just like bisexual Max head-canons. She obviously loves Lucas, but I think her tomboyishness, her feminism, and her being from California (and thus exposed to more open-minded people growing up) make her easy to make bisexual.

Someone is going to kill me for putting Mike here, but I think it's true. I don't think Byler will ever be canon, not in the least because the Duffer brothers didn't set out to write a queer show. They're going to think that they already have two/three openly gay characters getting screen time next season (depending on if Vickie becomes a real character) and that they've done their duty to the gay community or whatever. I do think Mike is repressed in a lot of ways, but in an "I was raised by Ted Wheeler" way and not an "I'm secretly pining for my best friend way." And I think he and Eleven will be endgame. (I also prefer Mileven over Byler, though I think either way Mike should do a bit of self-improvement first). But I think people like writing stories where Mike is queer for obvious reasons: to put him with Will and because this boy is absolutely lying to himself about SOMETHING and that something being his sexuality makes sense. You could definitely make an argument for moving him up a category. But for me, he is in this one.

Canon Jonathan can't be into boys, because if he were he would have said something to Will by now. That being said, I think Canon Jonathan could be on the ace/aro spectrum and just not realize that's also a type of queerness. Fanon Jonathan is often bisexual and into Nancy/Steve/Argyle.

Chrissy barely appears on screen, so I guess she could go anywhere/nowhere. But because she's a fan-favorite and is commonly shipped with Eddie or Robin, I'm putting her here. We just don't have enough information about her, though I like to think she was flirting with Eddie. (I also like Buckingham quite a lot, but they never spoke in canon and are a purely Fanon invention).

Lastly, characters whose straightness you can pry from my cold dead hands:

Dustin just does not give off queer energy in my opinion. I think he would absolutely sleep with a guy in college as an experiment, but ultimately conclude he likes women. (though you could make an argument for ace-spec Dustin. I just think he's too young for it to be solid yet).

I love a good bisexual Lucas fanfic/headcanon as much as the next girl, but I think Lucas is pretty straight. His interactions with other boys in canon just don't indicate any sort of queerness and I think this man is going to be devoted to Max until he dies (or she dies, if that comes first).

Lesbian Eleven is something that drives me crazy. Obviously to each their own and do what you want, but I hate it. I think what Mike and Eleven had in at least seasons 1 and 2 in undeniable. Whatever happens with them in the future, they did genuinely love each other at one point. And I understand that a lot of people ship her with Max, but I feel like that misses the point of season 3. What El really needed was a friend. Not a boyfriend, not a romantic partner, a friend. And Max was that for her. (Could Eleven realize she's into women later in life? Sure, I guess. But I don't see any grounding for it in canon now).

If Nancy is not a lesbian with comp-het, she has to be straight. Like I said above, to me, those are the only two options.

Hopper is a white small-town cop in the Midwest and he chose to be there doing that job. He's straight.

Joyce has to be straight because of how she acts towards Will's queerness. The way she doesn't understand him in S3 when he says he'll never fall in love. The way she whispers the words Lonnie used about Will like they're bad (and they are Bad, but because they're mean, not because of what they mean, and the way Joyce whispers makes me think she doesn't know the difference).

Like I said, these are all my readings of canon. It's fine if you disagree. Some people have very specific readings of particular characters, but I think these are broadly what the text supports or what fanon agrees on (with the exception of Mike and Eleven maybe, where I think I differ from the general fanon consensus).

I have Thoughts about how the Stranger Things fandom interprets its characters' sexualities, but I don't know what they are or how to articulate them. It's just different from other fandoms I'm in. I'm also new to the Stranger Things fandom (as in, after S4Vol2 had aired) so I don't have a good sense of what has changed over time. But its fascinating!

#stranger things #stranger things fanon #fanon #unpopular opinion #queer characters #gay stranger things

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superblycaffeinated · 7 months

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For more Nebraska, Ace, Bombshell and Wise Guy stories (and other Gallagher Girl fics), see my GG Masterlist

Summary: the one where Abby is pregnant

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and conflicted feelings by many involved

3.4k words

A/N: This was originally posted on my old account // it has been edited slightly since my original writing - I appreciate any new notes left for it! 💙

You Get Me Too:

Abigail Cameron / Edward Townsend | Abigail Cameron & Zach Goode

She sits on the edge of the bathtub, trying to control her breathing.

The thing is, she’s usually kind of a pro at the whole breathing thing. You bring air into your lungs and you exhale some out - easy peasy. And, like, her whole line of work sort of relies on being able to keep it in check. She’s literally trained in breathing, she’d ace breathing 101 if such a thing existed (and well, it kind of does).

However, when she hears the footsteps on the stairs, any sort of progress she’s made with the breathing in this particular moment flees, balls itself up, and hides behind the shower curtain.

Coward.

“Eddie?” She’s honestly shocked his name is somehow able to be pushed out calm, what with the aforementioned breathing issues.

A deep sigh can be heard from behind the cracked bathroom door. Edward’s voice calling through it, “Abigail. We’ve talked about this. In fact, I perfectly recall a conversation in which you held up your right hand and swore to never call me Eddie ever…”

When he trails off, she knows he’s frozen in the doorway and probably having a whole lot of breathing problems of his own.

Her heartbeat is in her ears, her fingertips, her throat as he whispers and searches for the right words. “What…what is that?”

He’s staring and referring to the little stick held aloft in her fingers. He’s a highly trained operative, he knows what that white and blue stick is. He knows what the tiny pink lines mean. But he’s going to make her say the words out loud - make her speak it into existence.

Her brain is doing some sort of impressive trapeze act, she’s sure something is trying to connect to another something to make the words come out of her mouth, but they just aren’t.

Edward clears his throat, “Abigail, is that…”

She looks up at him to find his bright, blue eyes blinking. Posture horribly straight, tense, even more formal than normal which she truly didn’t think was possible. Has this man even heard of the word slouching? Her heartbeat starts a one man show of being the loudest thing in the room, like it’s tap dancing against her ribcage.

She purses her lips and just nods as she returns her gaze to the two little pink lines.

For once, she’s speechless. Abigail Cameron has no words. No jokes, no sarcasm.

She can’t be a mother. She’ll be a terrible mother.

Tears start to prick behind her eyes, wetting the corners and she blinks them away furiously. Edward kneels in front of her, his fingers gingerly cradling her chin.

He waits for her eyes to meet his and then he whispers the two words she can’t bear to think about any longer. The two words she simply can’t answer.

“You’re pregnant?”

The tears release down her cheeks without her consent. They pull something horrible out of her chest - the kind of sobbing no amount of training can prepare you for. The kind of fear that demands to be felt and you just have to ride it out.

This wasn’t the plan, Abigail. Do you ever do anything with care? Do you purposefully run through the world with the intent to leave mayhem in your wake? You let Matt down, you’re gonna let this kid down even more. You can’t even take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of a baby?

The words stream through her mind like horrible song lyrics you just can’t get out of your head. She shakes her head, pushing her fingers over her ears to drown it out. She curls in on herself, waiting for the words and the crying to stop so she can focus on breathing again.

The soft pad of his thumb brushes against her cheek and she blinks her eyes open, heavy and swollen to find his head turned sideways to meet hers.

Maybe it’s all just a dream, maybe none of it is real.

But she knows, from the cold tile of the bathroom floor against her body, that if she sits up, that test will still be there, and it absolutely is real.

Oh god, what’s she going to tell Rachel.

Oh hell - how will they tell Zach?

Edward’s lips move, and despite being trained to read them, she shakes her head - confused as to why she can’t hear suddenly.

His hands move up, slowly, his eyes watching her careful and anxious, like she’s a deer he might spook. His fingers curl around hers and pull them from her ears gently.

“I said, good morning.”

Morning. It’s morning?

Sure enough, as she sits up, the soft halo of golden morning light is filtering in through their cream colored curtains like they do every morning.

It seems unfair that the world keeps turning, keeps moving, another day gone, when she’s still processing something so monumental.

She wipes her nose on her sleeve, sniffing hard and he grimaces, handing her a tissue.

Her chin trembles as her voice wobbles with a question, “You slept on the bathroom floor with me all night?”

Edward pushes a curl behind her ear, fingertips grazing down her jaw as he nods. “I did.”

She pushes her palms into her eyes, shaking her head. A watery laugh choked out before she says, “But, our heads were by the toilet all night. The bathroom floor is disgusting.”

“It sure is,” he murmurs, “I tried to move you, but you were not having it. I guess I fell asleep waiting for you to calm down.”

Poor man, he could be waiting a lifetime for that.

She drops her hands, back against the tub as he frowns at the ground, his hands reaching for hers impulsively as he speaks carefully. Always carefully - calculated - like he’s too afraid to speak without thinking through every reaction to his words.

“I don’t understand why you were…are…so upset. I know I’m already not so great at the dad thing, but you have to give me some credit here. I didn’t know about the kid for eighteen years.” A furrow begins to crease in his forehead, lines of deep worry and thought present, “But, I really didn’t think the thought of having a baby with me would amount to you sobbing on the bathroom floor for hours, Abby.”

To anyone who may not know Edward Townsend, they’d think this was a jab at her, they’d misread the situation completely. But to Abby, it’s a joke at his own expense, trying to approach a complicated situation in a way that makes her feel better. And for the life of her, she can’t figure out why. As if trying to reign in Abigail Cameron wasn’t a hard enough job. As if finishing Matthew Morgan’s final op wasn’t stressful enough. She had now added a tiny, chaotic, unpredictable party to the mix.

And he was being far too nice about it.

Pulling her fingers up to his lips, he leaves a soft kiss to the back of her hand before fiddling with it and her chest tightens. Edward Townsend doesn’t fiddle or fidget or dilly-dally. He is straight to the point and can’t relax.

Abby looks down, tugging on a loose thread of a towel he must have managed to get under her head as she whispers, “This wasn’t a plan. A baby is…a lot. And I won’t blame you if you need to leave or…or I don’t know. I’m careless and messy…” She looks up at him, and despite being thoroughly tapped of her tears, she feels that familiar sting behind her eyes as she admits, “I’m a terrible person and I’m going to be a terrible mother.”

Edward doesn’t hesitate to drop her hand, both of his finding her cheeks as he leans in closer, speaking with conviction, speaking with promise, “Abigail Cameron, you are many, many things, but a terrible person or terrible mother will never be words used to describe you.”

“You’re not…upset?” Her chin trembles again, the threat of more tears imminent.

His hand drops to her stomach, shaking his head with a smile. “I promise you, I’m the furthest thing from upset.”

A wet laugh engulfs her question, “We can do this?”

He presses a kiss to her jaw, to the corner of her lips. “Of course we can.”

“We can have a baby? We can take care of it? We can…we’ll be good parents?”

He nods, foreheads bumping as he lets out a shaky exhale. “We can.”

It’s silent for a blissful minute until she bumps her nose against his. “How do we…we have to tell Zach. And Cam. And Rachel. And…Joe.”

Edward’s mood shifts completely, closing his eyes and backing away. Something in his voice choked and unsure, “Yeah. That. I’m not so sure I can do that. How about we just change our names and-”

“Ed.”

He sighs, fingers rubbing at his temples before he opens his eyes. “Yeah,” his brows furrow deeper until he nods once, “We should tell Zach first. Alone.”

Biting her lip, she shakes her head, unsure. “I don’t know…don’t you think Cam should be there? I think it’d make telling him easier.”

“Telling me what would be easier with Cam there?” Zach stands in their bedroom doorway, a to-go coffee cup in his hand and a deep frown present on his face that makes him look too much like Edward.

“Nothing!” Said too quickly and too in sync for anyone to believe. A rookie and awful mistake for trained professionals to make.

Townsend’s fingers move to cover up the stick as the horrible lie is told, but he misses, little piece of plastic skirting and spinning across the tile.

Zach stares at it, then promptly turns around without a word, stomping down the stairs.

Edward’s head falls back against the wall, hands in his hair as he mutters, “Shit.”

“I’ll go talk to him,” she offers, squeezing his hand.

She stops halfway down the stairs though when she sees Cammie at their kitchen counter. Her head is tilted as she stares at something, someone, Abby can’t see, but can hear.

Cabinets and drawers open and close loudly and quickly, slams of wood against wood and clanking of silverware as it slides back into place harshly.

Cam puts her coffee cup down, setting the tray with two other cups next to it as she purses her lips. “Hey, Zach, wanna tell me what you’re looking for?”

Another slam of a cabinet and then a horrible, horrible sound of a sob. “It’s not fair. It’s not…fair.”

Cammie’s face shifts from curious to concerned, but she doesn’t interrupt him. Another drawer, then the sound of the fridge.

“It’s not fair.”

It must have been the freezer actually, because the next sound is a crack of an ice cube tray, the crunch of ice meeting the floor and shattering.

“I mean, Christ, does he know how fucking condoms work?!”

Cam’s eyebrows furrow as she bites her lip and the front door opens.

“Hey, are they not…Zach what’s going on?” Joe steps into the kitchen and Rachel pauses at the doorway, looking up the stairs at Abby’s frozen body.

Zach is loud, louder than she’s ever heard him as he shouts, “We were just starting to…and now, now I have to watch them grow up and get him and what did I get? And they get her and I got…It’s not fucking fair!”

She’s surprised the glass of the back door doesn’t shatter with the way he slams it.

Edward is barely behind him, rushing down the stairs and past all of them without a word and she falls onto the step, head in her hands.

“You’re…” Joe starts.

“Yeah,” she sighs, voice muffled in her palms.

“Oh.”

“Mhm.”

It’s unbearably silent until a slow scrape of a chair, the clink of ice cubes being thrown in the sink. The sound of the back door again.

There’s a creak on the steps, then another, each one closer to her until a thigh rests next to hers.

Rachel’s voice is quiet as she asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, Rach.”

“Okay.”

And so they sit there.

Eventually, Abby lets her head fall to Rachel’s shoulder, cheek squished to it like she has done so many times before, and Rachel’s fingers lace with hers.

Mustering up some sort of strength, she begins to think out loud, “I’m not cut out for this Rachel. You…you were always made to be a mom. You’re a great mom. I’m the crazy, unstable, unpredictable aunt. I thought it was really working for us, you know?”

Rachel’s other hand starts to brush through Abby’s curls, untangling gently. She doesn’t say anything for a while before laughing quietly. “Oh my god. I get to be the crazy, fun aunt now.”

Abby starts laughing too, despite herself, wiping at her eyes before more tears can fall. “Oh please. You’re the kind of aunt that helps them open their first bank account and buys them a helmet to wear while riding their bike because their mom can’t even keep track of what day it is.”

“See, we have a plan.” Rachel squeezes her hand encouragingly.

It takes a beat of silence before Joe’s voice calls from the kitchen, “So, does that mean I get to be the fun one?”

Rachel rolls her eyes and stands, Abby and Joe laughing. Rachel pulls her up, turning her to head down the stairs and face everyone.

Joe is tossing a broken ice cube tray in the trash, pointing at it. “We’ll get you some new ones.”

Abby waves her hand at it, looking out the door to see Cam sitting on the back steps. Her arms are curled around her legs, and she makes no moves to interrupt what she’s watching.

Zach is screaming, bright red cheeks and a vein in his neck standing out even from this distance. He bends down and yanks fistfuls of grass, throwing them at Townsend. He kicks a few rocks, then their tree gets the brunt of it.

Edward is just standing there, hands in his pockets, nodding. He’s just taking it all, not saying a word.

Joe is next to her, and he taps his knuckle against the door frame. “He’s taking it pretty well. Good practice.”

She hears the words he doesn’t say - Zach is throwing a tantrum.

Which is when she realizes the true weight of his words.

They get him and her and what did I get?

He never got to throw a tantrum. He never got to cry and stomp his foot to try and get his way. He never got to yell at his dad, and he certainly never got to yell at his mom, because, god, who knows what would have happened.

Zach’s cheeks begin to shift from red, to pink, to pale again. He swipes at his eyes and gestures to the corner of the yard. Edward finally opens his mouth and says something and she decides it’s safe to head outside.

She brushes Cam’s head as she passes her, whispering, “Thank you squirt,” when she offers a quiet congratulations.

Zach and Ed look towards her and Zach shakes his head, wiping at his eyes harder and turning away, clearing his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to break your ice cube trays. I can buy you new ones.”

“Zach, yell at me.”

“What?” He laughs a little, facing her and swiping at his nose.

“Yell. At me.”

Edward looks at her like she’s crazy and Zach matches his expression almost exactly and it takes her breath away a little. Will this baby look like him too?

“I’m…I’m not mad at you Abby.”

“You’re mad at something, or someone. Yell at me.”

His jaw clenches as he bites, “I don’t want to yell at you, Abby.”

“Do it.”

“Abby! Stop!” He makes a fist next to his side, voice a little louder.

She just keeps her voice calm, “Come on, didn’t you like yelling at Ed? You’re going to feel better, I promise. Yell at me, this baby, your mom, the world. Yell some more.”

“Fine! I’m mad that this kid gets to have you as a mom! And they get to have Rachel and Joe! And of course, I’m gonna love the stupid little thing and so will Cam and that’s not fair! They’re going to grow up being loved by so many people and I had no one! I had her! I had empty stomachs and no hot water and I was alone for so long!” He’s sobbing by the end of it. “And the worst part is, I can’t even be mad at her, right? Cause she tried, I think she really wanted to try! Or maybe she didn’t and that’s stupid! And it’s not fair, that they get you!”

He falls to the ground, shaking from his tears as he takes a sharp breath in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t…I’m sorry.”

She takes several careful steps through the grass and kneels next to him. As he cries, she slowly moves her arm around him and the force that he turns into her shoulder and sobs steals the air out of her lungs. She presses a hand to his spine and another in his curls and breathes deeply, closing her eyes.

She just holds him, as Zach cries and Edward sits down across from them.

The sun shifts, the shadows change, and Zach just keeps crying. It’s heavy sobs, ones that have built for a long time and he can’t control them anymore. They come in waves, she knows they do, when you think you’re done and they’re fading, reaching the shore, but then another big one comes. So she just keeps holding him, her shirt and neck soaked in tears as her fingers scratch his scalp and her other rubs his shoulder. Because he never got to do this, he never got to yell and if he never got to yell, he never got to be comforted after it either. And she has a feeling he’s needed both for a really long time.

His head slowly falls into her lap, and the crying becomes quieter, his shaking, heaving breaths start to even.

She brushes his curls softly, his cheek pressed to her thigh as she watches tears roll down the one she can see. She kisses his temple as she promises, “You get me too, you know? I’m sorry I was late, but you get me too.”

His body curls, arm wrapped over her leg as his face pinches, more tears falling silently.

The sun is starting its descent on the opposite side of the sky when his breathing is deep and even, his face finally relaxed. That kind of crying requires deep and intense recharging.

She looks up when Edward whispers, “Zach suggested a swing set over there.” He gestures to the opposite corner before his gaze returns to his sleeping, grown son.

Her fingers haven’t stopped running through his hair and she nods. “Sure.”

A tall shadow overtakes them as a deep, but quiet voice asks, “Little guy is tuckered out finally, huh?”

She laughs, wiping at her nose from where her own silent tears are finally drying up.

Joe continues, gesturing to Zach, “So, he was supposed to get stuff for the apartment today…”

Edward nods, standing before crouching in front of Abby. She blinks, surprised, as he picks Zach up, like he’s a baby and not a fully grown, heavy, eighteen year old.

Zach curls into him, head pressed to his shoulder and Edward smiles as he looks at Joe. “We’ll go with Cam, mind staying here and watching him?”

It seems like a joke, but they all know it isn’t.

Joe and Abby watch him slowly bring Zach inside. Joe looks down at the grass. “Abby, he’s probably gonna run. And you can’t let him, okay? He needs you to come after him, and if you can’t do that…”

She squeezes his arm, walking towards the house.

“I’m not going anywhere Joe. He waited long enough.”

Once she’s inside, she pauses in the doorway, watching Edward cover Zach up with a blanket on the couch. He hesitates, and then kisses the top of his head before jogging up the steps.

Zach’s eyes open, watching him disappear up the stairs, before they start to blink closed again, his body curling deeper under the blanket.

She steps into the living room, leaving a kiss in the same spot, but when she turns, his fingers are wrapped around her wrist.

“Thank you,” he whispers, his eyes still closed, squeezing her fingers.

“Of course, kiddo.”

And when Zach returns to his apartment that night, there’s a box on his counter, filled with ice cube trays and a note from her, reminding him she’s always around if he needs to break something and needs a person to yell at.

#gallagher girls #abigail cameron #edward townsend #zach goode #gallagher girls series #gallagher girls fanfiction #tw pregnancy

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ufonaut · 2 years

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sorry to put another message about this in your inbox because i'm sure you're probably loaded down and sick of it (and also this got so much longer than i meant for it to be omg sorry about that too) but can i just add how brain meltingly stupid and outright insulting the "society is composed of celebrations of the sexual aspect of love" line is?

(beyond the fact that the phrase "society is composed of celebrations" makes almost no sense if you actually think about it lol? i guess not only is pride just a party in the dc world, all of society is too?)

this is a talking point i see so often, it always makes me feel absolutely homicidal as someone who grew up in a straight up purity culture cult, and it's doubly as insulting to see dc pushing it into the mainstream. like whose society? literally whose? give me a single example of a wholeass "society" that's really, truly got a positive outlook on sex in general.

a good percentage of the world still considers sex between straight people to be evil & immoral unless it's under very specific circumstances, and you're seriously going to say "society" "celebrates" it in a pride book? a book for & about a community whose relationship with sex is infinitely more complicated and uh… definitely not at all celebrated lol? how disconnected from reality do you have to be?

also on a character-specific level? had anyone writing this actually read anything with connor in it before? like anything? literally anything? or are we confirming that we've done away with literally everything about him for no reason and reinvented him as an oc who's connor in name only?

because the whole "when that noise is everywhere, it can be hard to hear the silence withing yourself. especially when everyone in the orchestra thinks your silence is an aberration" line is just… like…

beyond being just as insulting, connor grew up in… an ashram? so… what? are you trying to say MONKS were truckin and fuckin too loud for him to introspect? the MONKS were telling him he was a weirdo for not wanting to have sex? the MONKS?!

there really was just 0 thought put into this at all lol good job guys

I KNOW! I KNOW!!!! like i couldn't have said it better myself, it's all perfectly put right here. not only does it make zero sense for connor as a character who's been gaycoded for decades now but it also makes zero sense for connor as a person who grew up surrounded by monks during his formative years, which frankly does also come back to the fact that ollie is retconned into being his primary father figure rather than master jansen (or eddie fyers! hello!). it's just a complete disservice to everything connor has ever been.

and on top of that, like you said, it's ridiculous to claim that society celebrates sex -- a culturally christian, heterosexual society does not celebrate sex. it especially does not celebrate gay sex, and it's inevitably disgusted by it. it's this insistence on framing gay people as capable of oppressing ace people, as somehow having the same societal standing as straight people and lumping us all together, that i hate most of all. it's such an utterly homophobic view that i can't believe it's so casually featured in a pride special!

in fact, it's hard to see a single part of it that's not ridiculously homophobic. we're talking about a story in which music is used as a metaphor for sex and the villain, famously played by and created for a gay man, uses music as a tool for mind control. gee, one has to wonder what we're meant to get out of this.

sincerely thank you for agreeing and putting it so eloquently, it's a major relief to see someone else actually look at it critically!

#connor hawke #dc pride 2022 #asks #anon

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upamongthestarss · 4 years

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Perfect Timing//Bill Denbrough x fem reader

Please be kind! This is only my second time publishing on tumblr, so I’m not really sure what I’m doing, but here we are!

Warnings: smut, brief mention of fem oral receiving, swearing, mild angst, underage drinking

Spring break came way too slowly, especially for Y/n. Freshman year of college is said to be one of the best years of your life, but it’s definitely the worst. Her high school was entirely too easy for her, probably because her teachers were just idiots. Then college hit, and the workload was unbearable. Not to mention, she grew homesick for her parents and her best friends and even a tiny bit for Bill.

Oh, how she hated Bill back home.

Well, okay, she didn’t hate him, it was more of just a mutual tension that sometimes led to the Losers separating them at all costs.

They went on a few dates freshman year, and even kissed once, but it all ended when popular Autumn asked Bill to “help her with English” at lunch one day. He completely forgot to tell Y/n, but didn’t think much of the whole affair anyway. When Y/n walked out of the lunch line, she smiled at her newly official boyfriend. He was hunched over a piece of paper, diligently writing with ginger hair falling into his eyes. When Autumn saw her coming over, she tapped Bill on the shoulder, and kissed him full on the mouth when he turned to her.

Y/n’s hands went slack, causing her tray to clatter to the ground. Tomato soup splattered all over her new white Keds. She obviously looked down to see the damage, and missed Bill pushing Autumn off of him. He went over to check on her and help her clean up, but she stormed off to the bathrooms.

From then on out, there’s been so much tension between them. Even though Bill explained what happened countless times, she’s absolutely refused to listen. She’s had trust issues after her biological father cheated on her mother when she was little, and this, well, this basically made them inflate like the economy. She wasn’t on speaking terms with him until the end of the school year, and even then their friendship was rocky.

But there was also a sexual tension. Bill and Y/n still had blatantly obvious feelings for each other, whether they wanted to admit or not. In fact, they even went to senior prom together, but it ended in disaster. There was a dramatic exit from Y/n when he mentioned how he was on good terms with Autumn now, and she was really sorry for what happened.

“Why the hell would you bring that up now?” Y/n rose from her seat.

“B-b-because she t-told me she w-wanted us to-”

“Can’t we just completely forget what happened back then? It was so long ago.”

Bill flushed. “Well, it r-r-really seems l-like you’ve n-n-never forgotten ab-about it these past th-three years.”

She threw her napkin on the table and left after saying, “You’re a dick.”

That night she vented to Eddie and ultimately admitted to having feelings for him, but he knew that all along anyway.

That night was the last time they talked until it was time for Bill to leave for NYU.

“Good luck,” she told him, bouncing on the balls of her feet nervously.

“Th-thank you, Y/n, y-you too!” he was so excited that day that he even pulled her into a hug, much to her surprise (and delight).

And now, here she is, on the plane to Palm Springs. It’s a long flight from Marywood, so Y/n uses her time to finish her homework. She’s majorly jetlagged by the time she lands at Palm Springs International. Luckily, the cab ride isn’t ridiculously long. When she gets to Richie’s beach house, he’s on the porch with his feet up and a daiquiri in hand.

“Y/N!!!!” he shouts, putting his drink to the side and running down the stairs.

“RICHIE!!!!” she yells back, dropping her bags to run and hug him.

“Oh, it’s been so long!”

“I know!! And holy shit, your house is gorgeous!”

“I’m telling you, Y/n, I lucked out so much by scoring that audition. Can you believe it? Rich Records Tozier, the nation’s youngest beloved DJ.”

“Hardly,” she chuckles. “So how is the life of fame treating you?”

“Oh, brilliant. Come on in, I’ll give you a tour,” he scoops up her bag and leads her to the door. It’s an incredible house, with a beautiful kitchen and even a movie theater.

“And here’s your room,” he gestures to the first door upstairs.

“May I?” she asks, hand on the doorknob.

“Be my guest.”

She swings it open to a redheaded girl on one of the two beds. She looks up from her magazine, smirking. “Hey, roomie!”

“Bev!” Y/n shrieks as her best friend runs to her and practically knocks her over.

“When did you get here?!”

“About an hour ago. Stan’s here too, but he’s taking a nap.”

“Well, we’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” Y/n grins mischievously.

“Everyone else is supposed to get here tomorrow morning, except for Mike. He’s coming tonight.”

“Oh, thank God. No Bill for a half day more.”

“Oh, Y/n, don’t be so close-minded,” Bev giggles and they sit down on the same bed, bursting with so much to catch up on. Richie doesn’t know if he should sit down with them or just go back to his daiquiri, but the doorbell rings.

“Saved by the bell,” he says, getting the side eye in response.

The girls talk for hours until they decide to say hello to Mike. Y/n stops at the bathroom first, and it takes her a while to find the kitchen after that. She has to follow the voices and Richie’s booming laugh.

“Sorry, I got lost,” she says, turning in the kitchen. “Hi, Mi-”

The third person talking to Richie and Beverly is not Mike.

It’s Bill. And she looks like a total bum in her old sundress and messy ponytail. She isn’t wearing a drop of makeup, either.

“Y/n.”

“Bill. Good to see you,” she holds out her hand professionally. He shakes it.

Is it good to see him? Looking at his cerulean eyes certainly sends butterflies through her stomach and through… other parts of her body.

“Y-you too.”

That immaculate stutter. She sits down at a barstool and crosses her legs together tightly. Richie and Beverly are quick to notice it, but restrain from commenting.

“I thought you were coming in tomorrow morning?”

She doesn’t sound rude or accusatory, just curious.

“M-my flight got c-c-cancelled.”

“Okay, gotcha.”��

She drums her fingertips on the counter restlessly, not really knowing what else to say.

Luckily, Richie has a plan in case things get awkward between these two- and he’s already having to use it.

“Anyone want a drink?”

************************

“Nursing school is so insane. In anatomy, our teacher dissected a literal human body, and we had to examine it.”

“Eddie, please. We’re eating,” Y/n coughs.

“It was disgusting, but it was also fascinating,” he defends himself.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Ben shrugs.

“Y/n, tell us more about Marywood,” Eddie says, but she’s way too busy watching Bill talk to Richie’s cute next door neighbor while holding her little sister.

“You’re so good with her!” she simpers, tossing her shiny brown hair.

“Y/n? Earth to Y/n?”

“What?”

“How’s Marywood?”

“Oh, it’s… fine.”

“Just fine? Did you pick a major yet?”

She shakes her head.

“What about that guy? Are you still with him?”

“David? No, we were together for a while, but I guess the spark just kinda died. I mean, he initiated the breakup, but it was all mutual.”

Eddie squirts a dollop of sunscreen the size of a clementine in his hand. “That sucks. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be,” Y/n shrugs, averting her gaze back to Bill. She’s very glad that she's wearing sunglasses, to hide her stares.

The cute girl was right, he is good with that little girl. Her heart would be melted, but Bill keeps flirting with the older sister. It’s disgusting.

And then, that girl has the audacity to drop the rattle she shook in the baby’s face. Y/n is close enough to hear the conversation, or at least read lips.

“Oh, l-l-l-let m-me get that.”

“Don’t worry, I got it,” she smiles, bending over so stealthily so that her breasts are all but out of that bikini.

“Ugh,” Y/n rolls her eyes.

“What’s up?” Ben asks.

“Nothing. I’m just going to go to the bathroom,” she stands up and walks almost catatonically to the door.

Instead of going to the bathroom, she finds a glass and slams it on the table.

“D-damn, Y/n. That’s n-n-not a napkin, you kn-know.”

She jumps at Bill’s voice. He obviously followed her in, and she’s not too thrilled about it.

“Funny,” she replies, searching the cabinets. “Do you want anything?”

“I-I was ac-actually getting d-drinks.”

“Oh, for you and your new girlfriend? Hey, let me know when the wedding is. That is, if I even get on the guest list.”

“What’s your p-p-problem?”

“I don’t have a problem.”

Y/n finds a bottle of straight vodka and pours it right in the glass.

“Hey, its eh-eh-eleven AM,” Bill warns her, reaching for the glass. Unfortunately, their hands grab for it at the same time and it goes crashing to the ground.

“Great, thanks,” she says.

“I didn’t w-want you to be w-w-wasted all d-day.”

“Listen, Bill,” she takes a deep breath. “I really appreciate your concern. I do. But it’s my life, and if I want to get wasted this early, then no one should stop me.”

He doesn’t answer. They both grab rags and start to clean up around their feet.

“Th-this kind of r-r-reminds me of a certain sit-situation involving t-tomato soup,” Bill risks saying.

It was a terrible idea.

“Are you kidding me? I thought we moved on from that!”

“Yeah, so w-w-we can j-joke about it now!”

She’s silent for a minute, a blend of wrath and sadness.

“Just,” Y/n says, “Just go back out with your girlfriend.”

“I-I-I h-hardly know- o-okay, what the hell is y-y-your problem? We’re n-not together an-anymore!!! You sh-sh-shouldn’t c-care about my l-l-love life.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” she stands up, vodka dripping from the rag to her toes. “I don’t care that I shouldn’t care. I do care! I’ve always cared!”

Bill is speechless, and she honestly doesn’t blame him. Y/n assumes he doesn’t feel the same about her. After all, they haven’t dated since freshman year. Sighing, she puts the rag in the sink and walks back outside.

She’s opening up her book and lying on her stomach to get a tan when Y/n hears an obnoxious “Excuse me?”

She looks up to the girl, who could literally be a bikini model.She looks at Y/n like she’s a piece of dirt, and Y/n just wants to smack her. She could never hurt anyone, though.

“Um, do you know when Bill will be back with the drinks?”

“Not a clue.”

******

Bill absolutely could not stop thinking of Y/n all day. He never really can, ever, but his thoughts have been out of control all damn day. They range from wild fantasies to regrets from way back when to just simply: She still likes me, she still likes me, she still likes me!!!!

He wants more than anything to talk to her and confess he’s been in love with her since high school, maybe even before that. But some small voice in Bill’s head tells him that even if she does have feelings, she won’t want to act on them. After all, he’s been nothing but an asshole to her.

Then again, so has she.

It’s really ironic that they’re so abrasive towards each other. Y/n is so kind and friendly to everyone she meets; that’s why Bill fell for her. And everyone tells him that he’s nothing but a sweetheart. And he’s always treated his every girlfriend like a princess.

But it’s Y/n he wants as a girlfriend, and it always has been.

Y/n comes running down the stairs, using the bansiters to prop herself up and skip the last couple steps. She’s been strangely lighthearted after she made that confession to Bill. It had been a weight on shoulders for the longest time, after all. And now that it’s out of the bag, she feels as if she can finally move on.

Holy shit, she’s so cute, Bill says to himself. She has this youthful energy, but the looks of a gorgeous young woman. Not to mention her outfit- a pastel yellow halter top, short jean shorts, and a sky blue scrunchie- looks magnificent.

“Okay, I’m ready to go!” she grins widely. “Sorry for the holdup!”

“You’re good,” Richie replies. “We were just figuring out transportation, considering I can only take five of us in my car.”

“I don’t mind taking the trunk,” Y/n shrugs. “Anyone else?”

“I will,” Beverly volunteers.

“Okay, great, and five of you can squish in the backseat. Mike claimed shotgun earlier.”

Everyone else groans while he flashes a smile and gives them finger guns.

“So charming,” Bev laughs and grabs Y/n’s hand. They run out to the car and squish in the trunk.

“Bev, I have to tell you something,” Y/n whispers.

“What?”

“I’m still not over Bill.”

“Thank you, Y/n,” she responds sarcastically.

“How did you know that? I only told Eddie!”

“It was just a little obvious,” she laughs. “And the good news is that we all think he feels the same way!”

“I don’t think he does, Bev,” Y/n shakes her head.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, I told him today-”

“You what?”

“Shush!” she scolds as the boys get in the car. Luckily they’re all talking and can’t hear the girls if they whisper. “It just sort of... slipped out. But he didn’t even say anything. He just kind of… froze? It was so awkward.”

“You know he’s a little awkward around girls that he likes.”

“Is he, though?”

“Sure he is!”

“I don’t know, Bev. He stood there for a full thirty seconds without saying anything, and he just let me leave,” Y/n explains. “I think if he really liked me, he would have told me by now.”

Beverly gets quiet. “I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

“Hey, it’s okay! The timing was never right, and that- that happens. And it’s better I know now so I’m not hung up on him for the rest of my life.”

The rest of the drive is mostly just Beverly telling Y/n that there’s someone out there for her, and to keep her eyes open at the restaurant.

It’s a bright restaurant, very tropical and very flamboyant. A lush plant, obviously made of silicon, is the centerpiece of every table.

Good, it can hide me from Bill and spare my embarrassment, Y/n thinks as she sits opposite him. Unfortunately, Ben asks the hostess to take it away so he can see everyone. Y/n is mortified. Being directly across from her, he can watch and judge the girl the entire dinner.

She tries her hardest the whole meal not to pay Bill any mind, but it gets difficult when he starts getting tipsy. And drunk Bill can be wild. Singing and dancing on the tables wild. Luckily he isn’t at that point yet.

She doesn’t even know how he was able to buy drinks here; he’s only nineteen. The waitress must have a crush on him or something. Maybe she and Richie’s neighbor could start a Bill fanclub.

Y/n has a feeling the waitress would ask for her ID, though, so she sticks to soda. And three Shirley Temples is never good on anyone’s bladder.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she announces. “Anyone else?”

Everyone shakes their heads. Everyone except…

“Me! M-m-me!” Bill waves his hand around like a hyper child.

“Great, I’m a babysitter now,” Y/n murmurs.

She starts walking to the bathroom, Bill hot on her heels. Surprisingly enough, when she finishes peeing, he’s actually waiting for her.

“F-f-finally. G-g-girls take so long in the buh-buh-bathroom.”

She ignores him.

“Y/nnnnn,” he slurs. “I’ve been m-m-meaning to t-t-tell you, your a-a-ass looks fantastic in th-those shorts.”

“Because that’s not a rude thing to say at all,” she replies, feeling her face burn up.

“I’m n-n-not trying to be r-rudeeee,” Bill grabs her waist and pulls her in. Y/n can smell all the alcohol on his breath, and it’s disgusting. He kisses her full on the mouth.

She shoves him off, embarrassed by his behavior. “You’re drunk.”

“If b-b-being drunk makes me w-w-want to m-make out with you, I-I-I never want t-to be so-sober.”

That hits Y/n hard. Bill Denbrough wants her. But only when he’s drunk.

He doesn’t love her in his right mind. This is all she has, and she can’t even fathom just taking advantage of him when he’s drunk. Using someone would hurt her in such an inexplicable way, and not to mention it would tear whatever small bond she had with Bill into shreds.

She plops back down in her seat, barely touching the rest of her food or speaking for the rest of the night.

When she gets to her shared room with Bev, Y/n takes a shower. She’s always loved showers because they’re a place where you can cry without risk of anyone hearing over the water running.

And that’s exactly what Y/n does. She lets the tears stream down her face, washed away by the showerhead’s water.

*******

Bill knows he got plastered last night, so it’s no surprise when he wakes up with a pounding headache. But he isn’t sure why Y/n is so quiet, especially around him. Usually she has a remark or at least a glare for him, but she seems almost meek today.

He pulls Beverly aside at one point, and asks if he did anything to her last night.

“I don’t know, Bill. You guys went to the bathroom at the same time, and when you came back, Y/n seemed really upset.”

“L-l-like angry, or s-sad?”

“Sad. But she didn’t tell me anything that happened. I’m sorry, Bill.”

“It’s o-o-okay. Th-Thanks, Bev.”

He spends the rest of the day trying to remember something- anything- from last night. Bathrooms. Bathrooms.

There are some vignettes. Y/n across from him, in that pretty top. Watching her ass as she walked to the bathrooms.

Oh, shit. Bill made some sort of comments about those shorts. What happened after that? He kissed her, didn’t he? But why would that make her sad?

When evening rolls around, Bill still doesn’t remember anything new. He’s the only one in the living room, not even paying attention to the TV. His friends come bounding down the stairs, all wearing sneakers and athletic outfits.

“A-a-are you g-guys going somewhere?”

“Yeah, to the new rope climbing place,” Stan replies.

“Where’s Y/n?”

“She has vertigo, and wanted to stay here. We thought you could stay here so she’s not alone all night.”

“You d-d-didn’t th-think about asking me f-first?”

“We drew names out of a hat,” Beverly steps in. “You just weren’t around when we did it.”

“Isn’t that a l-l-little ruh-rude to Y-Y/n? One of us is g-g-going to st-stay with her instead of h-having fun?”

“No, Bill, it was the opposite!” Richie tries to save the group, much to their chagrin. “We were voting on who didn’t get to stay home with Y/n. And you won! You get to!”

“Wh-what i-if I want to donate m-my win?”

“Doesn’t work like that. Wins are final.”

It’s all BS, and Bill knows it. There never was a hat draw, everyone knows that Bill and Y/n have a lot to work out, and they don’t want the two to go back from spring break with even more animosity for each other.

Also, they know that the two have feelings that have been expressed so wrongly over the years. Maybe now it’s time to work them out.

“So we’re going to head out now; have fun with Y/n!” Eddie waves, and they run out excitedly.

Bill sighs, not knowing what he’s going to do with Y/n all night. Maybe she’ll just be antisocial and hide in her room all night, but he personally hopes she won’t. He decides to hang out by the pool for a while, and changes into his swim trunks.

By the time he gets outside, though, Y/n is already there. She’s hugging her knees to her chest and watching the little waterfall intently.

“Hey,” Bill says, making her jump.

“Hey.”

“C-c-can I join you?”

She nods.

“Why aren’t you with the others?”

“B-because I w-w-won their ‘contest,’”

“Contest?” she shakes her head, not understanding.

“To b-b-babysit you, ap-apparently.”

“Ah. Sounds legitimate.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just lets the sounds of the waterfall and the faint grasshoppers fill the silence. He’s sure Y/n doesn’t mind, though. When everyone else complained about the summer grasshoppers as kids, she would always dote on how they’re melodious and comforting.

Bill can’t hold himself back any longer.

“Y/n, what d-d-did I do l-last night?”

She turns to him. “You really don’t remember?”

“I re-remember making a com-comment, which I-I’m sorry about b-by the way, th-that was an a-asshole move. And I-I remember kissing y-you. But then what?”

Taking a deep breath, Y/n continues. “Well, then I pushed you off and told you that you were drunk.”

She pauses.

“And th-then?”

“Then you said, ‘If I want to make out with you when I’m drunk, then I don’t ever want to be sober.’”

That’s it? Bill thinks. He’s not stupid enough to voice his thoughts, luckily.

“Oh, Y-Y-Y/n, I w-w-was drunk. I d-didn’t know what I w-w-was saying.”

“Listen, Bill. I know you remember what I told you yesterday in the kitchen. And what you told me at the restaurant really hurt, okay?”

“Why? I-I wanted to k-k-kiss you,” he asks, genuinely confused.

“You’re such an idiot sometimes!” Y/n laughs incredulously. “You wanted to kiss me when you were drunk, not in your right mind!”

“I al-always want to k-k-kiss you in my right mind!”

“What?!”

“I-I think I love you, Y/n.”

She’s frozen. Could he actually mean that? Has he been drinking again? Hearing that from Bill Denbrough has been her dream since… forever.

“I think I love you too, Bill.”

He jumps up from his lounge chair, and leans over Y/n. He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and kisses her tenderly, gently. Her lips are just as soft as he remembers them to be all those years ago, softer than any other girl he’s kissed.

“Wow,” she beams as they pull apart. “I guess I knew this, but you’re a much better kisser than my ex.”

He laughs. “W-why, thank you. You’re n-n-not so bad y-yourself.”

“Thanks,” she giggles. “I just… I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like doing something crazy now, something outrageous.”

“L-like what?”

“Hm…” she thinks for a minute. “Do you want to go skinny dipping?”

“Okay, sure,” Bill chuckles.

Grinning, she begins to peel off her one piece. She slips the straps off, and the rest slowly slides off her body. Her breasts are exposed first, then her stomach, then everything. Her skin is smooth and glorious.

Bill pulls off his swim trunks and throws them behind him. Y/n wants to tease him about his erection, but she’s way too shocked at his size.

They bask in the beauty of each other for a moment before they dive into the water, crisp and cool on their bare bodies. Y/n splashes Bill right in his face.

He pushes wet strands of hair from his ocean eyes. “H-how dare you?”

“What are you going to do about it?” she taunts.

“This,” Bill says, throwing Y/n over his shoulder and taking her outside the water. She’s both screaming and laughing her head off at this point. He carries her all the way to the deep end and tosses her in.

When she surfaces, Y/n makes sure to flip him off.

“So r-r-rude.”

He cannonballs in, and they swim around, and eventually go under the waterfall. They end up making out and gasping for air.

“D-d-do you want to tuh-take this inside?” Bill whispers.

She nods, and they get out. As Y/n shivers, Bill gets them fluffy towels from a bin by the chairs.

Grabbing his hand, she pulls him through the sliding glass doors. They run around the house in nothing but towels, giggling and kissing and dripping pool water everywhere. The two finally make it to Bill’s room and go directly to the bed (after locking the door).

“Spruh-spread your legs,” Bill breathes in her ear, sending goosebumps up and down her body.

She obeys and lets him kiss her knees, her thighs, and eventually her core. He pleases Y/n in a way her old boyfriend never did.

When she finishes, Bill holds her for a minute so she can catch her breath. Then, when he turns around to put on a condom, she moves against the wall.

“Oh, s-s-so you w-want wall sex n-now?” Bill raises his eyebrows.

“Maybe,” she shrugs. “If you’re comfortable with it.”

Instead of using words, Bill throws Y/n up against the wall and kisses her roughly. Their tongues clash, and she loves every second of it. Then he goes in. He starts slow at first, but begins to pick up the pace with her approval.

“D-damn, you’re so t-t-tight,” he whispers while she keeps muttering his name.

“Probably because I wasn’t with someone as big as you before.”

Hearing that makes him turn redder than his hair. “Really?”

“Really,” she sighs. “Can you go a little slower?”

He listens to her, and almost screams in pleasure when she starts to suck on his neck.

They both finish in a couple minutes, and are pretty burned out- Y/n especially because she’s never made such rough love before.

She lies in his arms, back on the bed, and traces the love mark forming on his neck.

“I think I love you,” Y/n says for the second time tonight.

“I-I th-think I love you t-too.”

They can’t help smiling for the umpteenth time in the past hour. Their stars had never aligned until now, and it couldn’t be a more perfect exchange of love. The wait was unbearable, but incredibly worth it.

Y/n and Bill make each other feel whole, like there was a sort of void within each other, unfilled until now.

“Hey,” Y/n’s voice is soft and gentle. “I’m so sorry about these past years. You know I have trust issues, but I took them too far and didn’t treat you right. And I’m so sorry.”

“I’m s-sorry, too. I’ve been an ass-asshole to y-y-you, a-and it’s m-m-my fault we broke uh-up in the f-first place.”

“Don’t say that,” Y/n frowns. “It was Evil Autumn’s fault.”

They chuckle.

Resting her head on Bill’s chest, Y/n asks the dreaded question.

“So what’s going to become of us? After spring break.”

Bill thinks for a minute, stroking her hair, and admits, “I don’t w-w-want us to c-c-cut each other off again.”

“Neither do I.”

“I think our sc-sc-schools are like t-t-two hours ap-apart; that’s n-not terrible.”

“It’s not,” Y/n agrees. “Maybe we could take turns driving every weekend, and find a halfway point or something.”

“A-an ex-exact halfway point,” Bill adds.

“An exact halfway point.”

They can make it work, they’ve got to. Both Bill and Y/n are extremely optimistic about the future ahead, now that every feeling has been sorted out between them. And even in the unfavorable event where things don’t work out, there will always be Palm Springs.

Bill presses a kiss to her forehead. There’s not a chance that they won’t make it. The timing is finally, after all these years, perfect.

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough smut #stephen king IT #the losers club #mild angst #some smut

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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

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The Weekend Warrior Is Back!!! Raya and the Last Dragon, Chaos Walking and More

Welcome back to the Weekend Warrior!

This is probably going to be a little different from any of my previous columns, because New York City theaters reopen on Friday, and I swore that once they do, I would be writing about box office again. But this will also essentially be a previous column, so it will include reviews, it will include festivals and repertory series, and basically, whatever the hell I want to write about.

But let’s be realistic here. While there are a lot of movie theaters in New York City, not all of them will open, and they’ll all still have a capacity ceiling at 25% or 50 people in the larger theaters. Many of the larger multiplexes like AMC will be able to show films on two, three or more screenings to be able to make up for the limited capacity, but smaller theaters and those who have been doing well with the virtual cinema may remain closed. I know that the Angelika will be reopening to show some of the indies that haven’t had a theatrical release in NYC yet like Minari, and the IFC Center is reopening but with insanely strict protocols. (Don’t you DARE take off your mask even if you’re watching a three-hour movie! The good news is that they’re showing a lot of great movies on reopening including a comedy series that includes a number of Lynn Shelton movies.)

There’s also the issue of New Yorkers who are still petrified of being out in public, even those who have already been vaccinated and are possibly spending time in congregate settings that are just as likely to cause COVID spread than movie theaters. (I’m not gonna go on a rant about the egotistical and elitist film critics and journalists who have been ranting about movie theaters reopening for the past six months – for some reason, they think they’re as important as essential workers. Guess what, NAME REDACTED, you’re not.)

The big release of the weekend is the Disney animated movie RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON, which will hit probably around 2,400 theaters on Friday as well as be available for a premium on Disney+. I honestly don’t know a ton about this premium streaming release, but this is the second one after last year’s Mulan, which came out (better sit down for this) six months ago!

This magical fantasy adventure centers around Raya (a teen girl voiced by Kelly Marie Tran), who is trying to save her world that has been relegated to dust by the destruction of a valuable magical gem that contains destructive spirits imprisoned there by the legendary dragons. When Raya finds the last dragon, Sihsu (voiced by Awkwafina), the two of them must travel across the land collecting the separated pieces of the gem to reassemble them and restore their world. Raya is thwarted along the way by her arch-nemesis Namaari (Gemma Chan) who wants to reunite the gem pieces to help her own city of Fang.

(Raya is preceded by the animated short Us Again, which is a nice wordless short about a cranky old man who reflects back on his younger days dancing with his wife. It’s okay, nothing particularly memorable.)

Raya and the Last Dragon, on the other hand, is pretty wonderful, a mix of action, adventure, magic and humor, directed by Don Hall (Big Hero Six) and Carlos Lopez Estrada (Blindspotting) in a way that blends those disparate elements in fun ways. I’ll freely admit that I was a little worried that Akwafina’s schtick was going to annoy me, but after a while her wise-cracking dragon grows on you. In fact there are actually so many other funny characters to add to the laughs that the more brought in the mix on Raya and Sihsu’s journey, the more enjoyable the film gets.

One of the reasons the film works as well as it does is that unlike last year’s Onward, it wasn’t just the two characters and what they had to offer but how their situation changes as it goes along and they visit different cities. I was pretty surprised by how well the film keeps you entertained and invested in the journey.

I also absolutely loved the score by Thomas Newton Howard, which may be even better than his score for News of the World, which I honestly think he’ll get another Oscar nomination for. This is a film that explores all sorts of emotions as well as its Southeast Asian myths, so I feel that I was always going to be a complete and total patsy for this movie since it combines a lot of things I like such as fantasy and Asian mythology. In that sense, Raya is also a nice companion to the recent Mulan, which made my Top 10 last year, but sadly never even got a nominal theatrical release.

So let’s talk about box office, something I haven’t done in almost a year. Last weekend, Warner Bros’ Tom and Jerry had a fairly spectacular opening of $13.7 million. Raya is the first new wide release Disney movie since Pixar’s Onward literally a year ago. That ended up opening to $39 million in 4,310 theaters but only grossed $61.5 million domestic after its legs were cut short by COVID one week later. Raya will likely open in about 2,500 theaters by comparison and that’s with limited capacity for safety, but it should fare decently against the second weekend of Tom & Jerry, and I could easily see it bringing in $15 million or even as much as $18 million, but again, we’re in the baby steps part of the reopening, and things are going to start slowly and keep building as the vaccine continues rolling out.

Being released theatrically by Lionsgate this Friday is CHAOS WALKING, the adaptation of Patrick Ness’ future-set young adult novel The Knife of Never Letting Go, which stars Tom Holland and Daisy Ridley. Holland plays Todd Hewitt, a young man living in a world with no women where men’s thoughts can be perceived by everyone around them. One day, he discovers a mysterious girl named Viola (Ridley), when she crash lands on this planet but her very presence puts Viola’s life in danger, so Todd agrees to accompany her to find her own people.

Yeah, where do I even begin with the latest film from director Doug Liman that was probably filmed two or three years ago and was being delayed even before COVID came along? That’s already a bad sign, but when see how “The Noise,” the way that we hear all of characters’ thinking emerges, it immediately feels like it’s gonna be a problem. Sure enough, it’s such an awkward plot device to watch smoke billowing from the heads of the various characters as we hear their thoughts that it takes most of the movie to get used to it, and yet, it’s still so comically inept a concept that you can’t help but laugh when Holland continually rants, “My Name is Todd Hewitt,” over and over to keep Ridley’s Viola to hear his pubescent teen boy thoughts on experiencing his first girl.

The thing is that the scenes with just Holland and Ridley aren’t bad, but when you have a movie with actors like Mads Mikkelsen, David Oyelowo, Demian Bechir and Cynthia Erivo, it’s disappointing that they can’t elevate the movie above anything other than the most obvious sci-fi (and Western) pastiches. Mikkelsen is the town mayor who is so obviously another bad guy, that he doesn’t bother to put too much into his performance cause we’ve seen him do it so many times before.

Liman is more than a competent filmmaker but he clearly is unaware of how watching clouds pool around the heads of characters as we hear and see their thoughts become material, and even the introduction of the particularly silly-looking aliens – called, get this, the “Spackle” -- makes you forget that this is a sci-fi film from the director of Edge of Tomorrow (or whatever it ended up being called). It’s not even particularly surprising when we find out what really happened to the women in Todd’s community.

I have a feeling that the problems within Chaos Walking come straight from the Patrick Ness source material and the fact that he decided to adapt it himself may have made him tone-deaf to how hard it is to make the film’s central premise work without eliciting guffaws even from the most dedicated or devout fans.

This is also opening in IMAX theaters this weekend, and when it comes to New York, that might be the ideal way to see it (if you so choose) since it’s generally bigger theaters with a maximum of fifty people. Honestly, I don’t think Chaos Walking will make more than $5 million this weekend even in what should be over 2,000 theaters and with the presumed star power of Holland and Ripley from their franchise work. This could be seen as counter-programming from the animated movie, although any teens ready to go back to the movies might stick with Raya as well. Honestly, how this didn’t end up getting dumped to streaming compared to some of this weekend’s better movies is beyond me.

Offering a bit of indie counterprogramming for the two (relatively) big studio movies is Eddie Huang’s BOOGIE, the directorial debut of the Fresh Off the Boat producer, being released by Focus Features into who knows how many theaters? (1,000 or less, I’d Imagine.) It’s a coming-of-age movie starring Taylor Takahashi as Alfred “Boogie” Chin, a Queens high school basketball ace who dreams of one day playing in the NBA but whose temper gets him in trouble with the scouts for college where he’s hoping to get a scholarship.

I was kind of looking forward to this one, because I generally enjoy Fresh Off the Boat, and I’m interested in what stories Huang has to offer as a filmmaker. The film has its merits but it’s not necessarily Takahashi, who isn’t strong enough to really keep the viewer’s interest.

On the other hand, Huang was wise to cast the amazing Taylour Paige (Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom) as Boogie’s love interest and even better than both is Pamelyn Chee as Boogie’s “Tiger Mom” mother who is sugary sweet when it comes to wooing possible recruiters but also is a complete nightmare to his ex-con father (Perry Yung).

Thinking back on the movie, I definitely didn’t hate it as there were character relations and dynamics I enjoyed, but not all of it clicked with me, and it’s hard to imagine this one connecting with audiences as well as some of the other movies out this week, unless you’re into college hoops, which I am not.

As far as box office, I’m not sure this will be in more than 1,250 theaters (if even that) and even if it plays in New York City (where it would normally find its biggest audience), I just don’t think there’s much awareness for the movie out there. In fact, I see it only playing in one movie theaters in NYC, and that’s way up in Harlem, presumably hoping to get the street ball fans, but I’m not so sure too many up there will be interested in an Asian-American story, so honestly, I don’t think this will make more than $500,000 or $600,000 tops.

Besides the reopening of movie theaters, the other big excitement this week is the launch of Paramount+, the relaunch, spin-off, rebranding of CBS All Access that I had also been considering checking out. It will launch on Thursday, March 4, with the animated family movie THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE ON THE RUN, which was supposed to be released by Paramount Pictures last year and did get a bit of a theatrical release in Canada while theaters were open there last year. This one involves SpongeBob and his buddy Patrick trying to retrieve SpongeBob’s beloved pet snail Gary, who has gone missing.

I generally enjoyed the first to SpongeBob movies, even though I never watched the show, and the regular creators and voice actors always seem to step up their game in terms of the wackiness whenever they’re given a chance to bring the lunacy to the big screen. In this case, it comes in the form of some of the guests including Snoop Dog and Danny Trejo in an odd Western section complete with musical number or Keanu Reeves introduced in the same section as a tumbleweed named Sage. (Oddly, this also features Awkwafina providing the voice of a robot, and I kind of liked her in more of a subdued role like this.) Although SpongeBob and his friends are CG animated, the movie doesn’t try too hard to integrate the live action in as fluid a way as last week’s Tom and Jerry – live actors just kind of show up – but it’s still pretty darn entertaining to watch another movie in which everyone involved, including director Tim Hill (who shockingly directed last year’s awful The War with Grandpa!), just going about making the movie as crazy and wacky as possible, something that should appeal to kids and… THC-laced adults (preferably not those watching with kids) … to get an overall enjoyable experience. Maybe it’s no surprise that I was particularly tickled with SpongeBob and Patrick’s adventures in Las Vegas.

Along with that, the streamer will have a new animated series called KAMP KORAL: SPONGEBOB’S UNDER YEARS, which is a CG-animated series that focuses on SpongeBob and friends when they were younger, which actually is one of the funnier bits in the movie as well.

There’s a lot of great stuff coming to Paramount+ that should make it a real player in the streaming world, and that includes all of the Paramount movies that will be streaming on it, both those that are getting a theatrical release this year and the studio’s absolutely vast library over the past 100 or so years.

And that’s not all! This weekend also sees the release of the sequel thirty years in the making, COMING 2 AMERICA, which will launch on Amazon Prime Video on Friday (after being sold to the streamer by Paramount, oddly), so yeah, there’s plenty of options to keep people home this weekend even with theaters reopening.

Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall are back as Prince (now King) Akeem of Zamunda and his trusty aide Semmi, and in fact, almost every character and actor from the movie has returned, as the duo return to America to find Akeem’s illegitimate son Lavelle (Jermayne Fowler) in queens, hoping to teach him the Zamundan way so he can take over as King after him. Unfortunately, Lavelle is joined in Zamunda with his family which includes mother Leslie Jones and uncle Tracy Jordan.

Unfortunately, reviews are embargoed until Thursday, so I’m not sure I’ll get to review this one, but I did like the movie, more than I thought because my rewatch of the original 1989 movie led me to believe there was a good reason I hadn’t watched it in over thirty years. The sequel offers a lot of originality and humor in the forms of Leslie Jones and Tracy Jordan, but that’s all I’ll say about it for now.

Incidentally, you can check out an interview I did with director Craig Brewer over at Below the Line AND I also talked to the film’s make-up team, and after you see the movie, you’ll understand why I’m holding it until after people have seen the movie.

Another movie that would probably have gotten a theatrical release but now will be seen on Hulu is the Joe Carnahan-directed BOSS LEVEL, reteaming him with long-time collaborator Frank Grillo as a man who cannot die, because he’s living in a single day that’s being repeated over and over as he takes on a series of assassins sent to kill him.

This as a really fun action-comedy that never lets down in terms of either half of that genre, and it’s kinda groovy to see Mel Gibson playing a fairly key role since he became the master of that action genre with the Lethal Weapon movies. But this really is Frank Grillo’s show as a leading man, and while I can understand some thinking him not having enough charisma for that sort of thing, I respectfully disagree.

We get into this high-concept premise pretty quickly as we watch his character, Roy Pulver, take on a string of assassins for his over 100th attempt to do so, and as per the title, it is a lot like a video game where Roy has to defeat all of the assassins on his way to the big boss, Gibson’s The Colonel. Apparently, Roy’s wife Gemma (Naomi Watts) has been killed by the Colonel or his thug (Will Sasso) so Roy is now on a quest for revenge. But first he has to survive the onslaught of killers, all of whom he’s given cute nicknames.

Easily my favorite of the killers is Selina Lo’s Guan Yin, a feisty swordswoman who proves to be the most formidable opponent for Roy. I won’t say how he bests her, but it does involve Michelle Yeoh, who has such a strange nothing appearance in one section of the movie, you wonder what she’s doing there. In fact, the movie does hit a slight lull after the initial concept is introduced, but it

Listen, I’ve long been a fan of Carnahan’s dark sense of humor and to some, it might seem mini-spirited, to me it harks back to one of my favorite movies he directed, Smokin’ Aces, a similar movie with a crazy ensemble cast, though maybe a slightly smaller budget. Still, Carnahan is a terrific action director, which makes this one of the stronger action movies in a while, and he finds a way to take a fairly simple premise and make it bigger in that Roy’s dilemma turns into something where he has to save the world, but also something more emotional and personal as he tries to bond with his son before said world ends. I guess in many ways, it’s hard to put into words what makes Boss Level so special, but I can only hope that Ryan Reynold’s Free Guy is as good as this after being delayed so many times, because this will be a tough act to follow for sure.

Over at the Metrograph, still closed physically unfortunately, they’re doing a series this week called “David Fincher/Kirk Baxter” which looks at the relationship between the director and his frequent editor, showing a series of movies over the course of the week: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Social Network

The Metrograph has a lot of movies as part of its digital membership (just $5 a month) including Chloé Zhao’s very first film, Songs My Brother Taught Me, which was available to members through Wednesday night. (Sorry, I tweeted about it multiple times if you missed it.)

This week also launches the 26th annual “Rendezvous with French Cinema” up at Film at Lincoln Center, which was actually one of the LAST events to happen up there LAST year. This year, they’re keeping things safe by holding it virtually. It runs from March 4 through March 14, kicking off on Thursday with Sébastien Lifshitz’s Little Girl, which will be released by Music Box Films in the Fall. There’s a lot of fairly recent French films with an all-access pass available to rent all 18 films for $165. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen anything, so can’t really recommend anything but I’ll probably be checking out the free talk “How Music Makes the Film” on Monday, March 8.

Margaret Qualley (Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood) and Sigourney Weaver star in Philippe Falardeau’s MY SALINGER YEAR (IFC Films), based on Joanna Rakoff’s book. Set in New York of the ‘90s, Qualley plays Joanna, a grad school student who dreams of becoming a writer who gets hired as an assistant to literary agent Margaret (Weaver), whose biggest client is J.D. Salinger. Although Joanna’s role is more of a glorified secretary, she gets to go through Salinger’s fan mail from around the world, and she decides to start answering some of the letters to the author, an experience that helps her find her writers’ voice.

I wasn’t sure if this movie would be for me, but I find Qualley to be quite delightful, and this was a light film with a comedic tone from the Canadian filmmaker of the boxing movie, Chuck, and the Oscar-nominated Monsieur Lazhar. I enjoyed its look at the New York literary world of the 1990s, and it kept me quite invested even if I’m not particularly invested in Salinger’s work or an obsessive with The Catcher in the Rye as many are. Weaver is also fantastic as Joanna’s boss – think of a lighter version of Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada – and also enjoyed the tentative relationship between Joanna and her writer boyfriend Don, played by Douglas Booth.

Basically, Falardeau has created another generally wonderful and crowd-pleasing movie that sadly missed its opportunity at a festival run to build an audience after debuting at the Berlinale almost exactly a year ago. Presumably, this will open at the reopened IFC Center this weekend. (In fact, IFC Center released its reopening schedule and it’s a pretty cool mix of IFC Films movies from the past as well as some of the Netflix movies that weren’t released in NYC previously.)

Okay, let’s get to some other releases from the week, beginning with Ivan Kavanagh’s SON (RLJEfilms/Shudder), the latest film from the Irish director of The Canal, a fantastic horror film that premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival about seven years back. In this one, Andi Matichak from Halloween plays a single mother whose son David (Luke David Blumm) suffers from all sorts of maladies but when she starts getting closer to a local detective (Emile Hirsch), he discovers that there’s a lot more to her past and to her son’s ailments.

Honestly, I do not want to say too much about the plot, because there are so many shocking surprises in the movie once you think you know where it’s going, although I will say that it has connections to films like The Lodge and shows like Servant, but it also does a good job fucking with the viewer’s head, so you never know what’s really happening and what might be in the characters’ heads.

I will say that the movie is very dark and quite disturbing with lots of gruesome gory sequences, but if you’re a fan of smart horror, you’ll want to check out Son. (I’ll have an interview with Kavanagh over at Below the Line next week.)

Sony Classics is finally releasing Michael Dweck and Gregory Kershaw’s doc THE TRUFFLE HUNTERS (Sony Classics), which has been playing on the virtual festival circuit all the way back to Sundance last year, so we’ll see how many people are left to see it. It’s set in the forests of Piedmont, Italy where a handful of 70-to-80-year-old men are on the hunt for the rare white Alba truffle, which has resisted all modern science to be cultivated.

For whatever reason, I procrastinated on watching this movie for most of last year, maybe because I’m not that big a fan of cinema verité docs, but this is infinitely entertaining between the various men featured – including a lot of real characters in there – and how the movie shows their close bond with their truffle-sniffing dogs. This is a genuinely enjoyable movie that I feel can appeal to a wide range of viewers, although be aware that is in Italian, so maybe one should consider that even with the cute dogs, this should probably be watched by teen or older rather than small kids. (I don’t remember anything particularly racy, but the movie is Rated PG-13.)

Staying in the dog realm, Magnolia Pictures is releasing Elizabeth Lo’s documentary STRAY on Friday, which documents the life of Zeytin, a stray dog living on the streets of Istanbul, and some of his dog frenemies. Actually, this was a pretty wonderful film that I quite enjoyed, although there were a few dog fight sequences that disturbed me a little bit. But it’s a great look at Turkey through the eyes of some of the canines on the street, how they interact with the humans around them. Essentially, Stray is the dog version of Kedi, but I’ve seen other similar docs like this including Los Reyes – this one is just as strong as either of those movies, the images of all the beautiful dogs accompanied by gorgeous string music by Ali Helnwein that helps you understand the dogs’ complex emotions. Seriously, if you like dogs, you can definitely do worse than the previous two movies mentioned. Stray is available via Virtual Cinema, including that of the Film Forum.

Filmmaker and EDM artist Quentin Dupieux (Rubber) is back with his latest, KEEP AN EYE OUT (Dekanalog), starring Belgian comedian Benoît Poelvoorde as police officer, Commissaire Buran, investigating a guy (Grégoire Ludig) who has discovered a dead body in a puddle of blood outside his apartment building. The prime suspect is then left alone with a one-eyed rookie, and if you’ve seen any of Dupieux’s other films, you’ll probably know to expect the unexpected as things get crazier and crazier. (I seem to remember seeing this last year at some festival, maybe FantasticFest, but I’ll have to watch again before remembering if this was one of Dupieux’s movies that I liked.) This will be available in select theaters and also in virtual cinema this Friday. (Oddly Dupieux’s last movie, Deerskin, debuted at last year’s “Rendezvous with French Cinema” right before theaters shut down for a year, and I don’t want to be superstitious, but yeah, I’m worried.)

Barnaby Thompson’s Ireland-set crime thriller PIXIE (Saban/Paramount) stars Olivia Cooke (Sound of Metal) and Alec Baldwin with Cooke playing Pixie Hardy, a young woman who wants to avenge her mother’s death by pulling off a heist that will allow her to leave her small town. The crime goes wrong, and she’s forced to team up with a group of misfits including Baldwin’s Father McGrath.

Bradley Parker’s action-thriller THE DEVIL BELOW (Vertical) deals with a team of researchers who are investigating a series of underground coal mines in Appalachian country that have been on fire for decades where they discover a mystery. It’s getting a combined theatrical, VOD and digital release Friday.

Phil Sheerin’s directorial debut THE WINTER LAKE stars Emma Mackey (Sex Education) as Holly, a young woman with a secret that’s uncovered by her unstable neighbor Tom (Anson Boon from Blackbird) and the two of them are pulled into a confrontation with her father, who wants to keep the family secret buried. This will be in select theaters on Friday, On Demand on Tuesday, March 9 and then on DVD March 23.

Dylan McCormick’s SOMETIME OTHER THAN NOW (Gravitas Ventures) stars Donal Logue and Kate Walsh, Logue playing Sam who is stranded in a small New England town after his motorcycle crashes into the ocean seeking refuge at a run-down motel run by Walsh’s Kate, a similarly run-down and lost soul. When Sam learns that his estranged daughter Audrey, who he hasn’t seen in 25 years, lives in the town, he starts to learn more about why he ended up there.

Jacob Johnston’s DREAMCATCHER (Samuel Goldwyn) stars Travis Burns as Dylan aka DJ Dreamcatcher who meets up with two estranged sisters at the underground music film festival, Cataclysm, where they become entrenched in 48 hours of violence and mayhem after a drug-fueled event. Sounds delightful.

Some of the other VOD stuff hitting the ‘net this week include: 400 Bullets (Shout! Studios), Sophie Jones(Oscilloscope), Dementer (Dark Star PIctures), Black Holes: The Edge of All We Know (Giant Pictures)

That’s it for this week. Next week, theaters hopefully will remain open, and we’ll have some new movies to write about.

#TheWeekendWarrior #Movies #Reviews #RayaAndTheLastDragon #ChaosWalking #SpongeBobMovie #BossLevel

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littlehollyleaf · 5 years

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To be fair, months actually take place in between all of Ed's lovers, it's not like he really is actually going straight from one to the other. I'd argue Jim is more of the slut.... Poor Oswald, hanging around all these sluts.

Slut was probably a bit of an unfair word, I was being dramatic :p It's the fact Ed makes a big deal about Kristen and Izzy being 'the love of his life' and his 'everything', only for him to jump into a new relationship, one that is apparently very much about love and not casual sex, ONLY A FEW MONTHS later that makes him read as a bit... desperate and/or fickle and/or loose when it comes to love/lovers to me (cos honestly, months aren't long? ...are they? ...I mean 3-6 months to get over the love of your life / your everything seems odd to me, but maybe that's cos I lean towards being ace?)At least with Jim he never claims his affairs outside Lee to be anything more than casual... which prob does fit the term 'slut' better to be fair, yus, lol.Comparing their romances might be an interesting insight into their characters actually... post Babs and aside from Lee, Jim seems to fall into relationships as a way to pass the time, I get the sense? Or to satisfy his lust (such as with Sofia). Suggesting he is not craving love/affection, perhaps cos he knows his own heart very much lies with Lee and only Lee and always will? While Eddie is all about falling/being in love, each of his romances starting from that point of passionate feeling for the other person. Perhaps cos he DOESN'T know his own heart? He simply craves love/affection, despite his claim it is weakness and that he's a 'cold logician.' There is a part of him just desperate to be in love and unlike Jim (or Ozzie in fact) he is not so confident about where his heart lies, so to cope with this uncertainty he overcompensates by insisting the slightest hint of romantic affection/attraction towards someone else is obviously True Love and (unconsciously) hoping that by doing so this will make it real and he'll finally have a love that sticks?Sorry I went on a tangent there! Eddie is such a clueless prawn about himself. Dumbest smart guy in Gotham :p

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marcoacesabo · 6 years

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Meet me in another time

for @sorrowfullheart21 , who requested a time trave with Sabo thanks for waiting!

Sabo stared up at the sky, counting the twinkling lights through his window. The moonlight that crept through the glass, fell on his desk bathing him int it’s white glow as he looked towards the sky.

His stack of paperwork was neatly piled in front of him, freshly finished from his latest burst of motivation.

The base was dark with almost all members fast asleep, leaving a calm silence in their wake. The blond appreciated moments like these, where the world seemed to slow down and he could enjoy the little things in life.

Once upon a time stargazing with his brothers was his favorite past time...

Ace are you having fun running through the stars? Are you looking down at me while I look up, counting with me?

Sabo liked to think he was, that Ace was up there resting in peace and dancing in the star lights. Sometimes on clear nights, Sabo swears the stars form Ace’s freckles, and for a brief second his brother ace appears in the sky, smiling as bright as the moon.

The blond’s eyes soften flashing his own pearly whites at the sky as his eyes flicker from one star to the next. He was up to twenty-seven when movement from the left side caught his eye.

A streak of white raced across the sky leaving behind a sparkling trail. A shooting star? Sabo turns his head to see the bright line straight on, watching it as it disappeared.

It brought back some nolgastic feelings.

“Make a wish huh?” He whispered thinking of the one night Luffy had pulled both him and Ace into an open field for a mini meeter shower. His younger brother had been appalled by Ace’s refuse in believing the star granted wishes forcing both ten-year-olds to make one wish.

Sabo’s smile turns a little sad as he remembered Ace’s wish, his child voice screaming it in the night. The same words leave his mouth as he leans his face into his right palm. “I wish I could punch Gol D Roger in his stupid face.”

He chuckles, closing his eyes against the numb feeling spreading in his chest far too used to little reminders that Ace was gone-

Suddenly, the world started to tremble. Sabo’s eyes snapped open just in time to watch his ink jar tumble over its back liquid falling on the desk as the room shook. His bookcase fell forward dropping all of its shelves worth of things onto the floor, the pictures were slapping against the walls cracking and Sabo was thrown backward.

“Earthquake!” Someone shouted from the halls, but Sabo couldn’t tell which direction. The world was shaking too much, he could get his feet under him even after years of being on the uneven sea and it was almost like the room spun in circles around him.

The blond tried to hold on to the wall but the next tremble sent him tumbling forward. Just as his head was going to hit the ground he caught a glimpse of the shattered window.

A bright almost blind white light greeted him with open arms and then he saw nothing but black.

Awareness came slowly to Sabo. First, it was the rough wood under his right cheek that quickly spread to the rest of his body. The small prickling of his left arm was worrying but he ignored it for now. The second thing to register was the strong salty smell in the air and the sound of waves crashing into each other.

He was on a boat. How did he get on a boat? In fact, what had he been doing before waking up? His mind was really foggy…

Groaning Sabo forces his eyes to crack open, immediately shutting them again when the sunlight attacked his pupils. A sharp pain starting to build right behind his eyes making his less than happy.

“ -looks like he’s awake!” Someone shouted much for too loud for his pounding head. It sounds male and young probably a adolescent

“About time.” A rough voice answered. “He’s been drooling on our floor far too long. Get some water in this lightweight”

“ugh” Sabo groans when someone not too gently flipped him onto his back. He heard the strangers chuckle, and if it wasn’t for how he still felt rather nauseous he would have punched them all. Someone put a cup to his lips, half letting him up so he is in a semi-sitting position and it’s then he realizes how dry his throat and mouth is. Sabo starts chugging the water down much to the amusement o whoever is feeding him.

“Fist time drinker?” The adolescent asks as soon as the cup is empty. Judging by how his voice is right on Sabo’s face it’s him who gave his throat that salvation.

“D-don’t…ugh ..don’t drink” he chokes out

“I’ll say. You didn’t even last half the party. Not very flashy.” Another young voice taunts. This causes a round of loud laughter to emerge with voices that are far too many then the three he thought were there.

“Cut him some slack. A party with your crew is hard on anyone yoi.”

These trigged a group of men to start arguing about which crew was the best- was he on a pirate ship? One stood out to his ears “Eddy sure takes in weaklings, doesn’t he? A pirate that can’t hold his liquor to enjoy a party, now I’ve seen everything! Ha ha ha ha!”

That voice. It sounded like…

Like…

Ace.

Sabo was up a second startling a redhead teenager that was just a foot in front of him. He was still holding the cup, but the Revolutionary could care less about that. The blond swung his head around desperately searching for dark hair and freckles in the crowd of men who were lodging around a wide open deck.

He didn’t seem his brother anywhere.

His eyes landed briefly on a blue hair teenager that flinched back at his crazed gaze “Where is Ace?!”

“Um..who?”

“Ace! My brother!”

“I don’t know. Your crew has a lot of “brothers, ” how am I supposed to keep track of them-“

“Tell right now before I break your skull!” Sabo screamed, his hands turning black with his rage. The boy paled at his killing inlet scrambling to hide behind the frowning redhead- who was wearing a straw hat he shouldn’t be. “Where did you get that!?”

“My captain?” he offered one red eyebrow raised like he thought Sabo the idiot.

“Liar!” Sabo took two steps forward ready to force the real answer out of him. He didn’t have his trusted pipe but he had his bare hands that were ready and able to get the job done. The surrounding men all straighten, obviously ready for a battle. Sabo would have fought them all, was just about to if it wasn’t for someone breaking his haze of rage.

He froze as the words washed over him.

“You may want to calm down. Even if you are Eddy’s boy I don’t take kindly to-“

“Ace!” He cut the speaker off reeling around to see his brother his brother was alive he was- “You’re not Ace.”

And just like that, it was like all the energy In his body was zapped away. Of course, it wasn’t Ace. His brother was two years dead, there was no hope that he be here now. The thought hurts like a physical wound, digging into his soul and spreading that oh so familiar numb ache. He almost slumps in place but stops at the last second because he’s still surrounded by possible hostiles and he still doesn’t know where he is.

Sabo raises his eyes to meet the stranger’s then freezes in shock.

“Gol D…Roger?” His voice sounds a little faint.

The man in the red coat grinned at him a tad bit bloodthirsty but his someone walks in front of Sabo. The man’s back is straight, his purple shirt tight against his back muscles and his light blue pants crunching up at the knees where they are bend. It takes a moment to make the blond realize it’s to protect him from…the pirate king.

“Roger leave him alone. He’s just scared and confused. He’s not used to getting drunk.”

“He threatened my cabin boys, bluebird.”

“I know. But you can’t hurt him…he’s my boyfriend.”

What?

“He is?!” Suddenly it was like Gol D Roger went from bloodthirsty sea King to excited yipping puppy. “How long have you been together? How did you meet? When did you tell him you loved him? When he tell you? Oh! Are you getting married!? Can I come to the wedding!? We can make a double wedding! I have the most beautiful woman in the world as my wife. Did I tell you her hair is as pretty as the sunset and that her eyes are like the sea and oh her freckles are like the stars!”

The guy in front of Sabo took a step back, wrapping an arm around his waist while Roger continued to praise the woman that owns his heart- Aces mom, Portgas D Rouge Sabo thought in slightly confused wonder. His supposed boyfriend leaned his head down to whisper in the trench coat wearing man’s ear “Play along gorgeous and you may get to live. By the way, I’m Marco yoi.”

Sabo eyes widen when a pair of lips press on his cheek. He swung his head up to chew out the smug-

Mother fucking Marco the Phoenix. Younger than his latest poster but still Marco the Phoniex was winking back at him. Suddenly it was like Sabo was an awkward teenager again drooling over the wanted poster he had to trade three weeks desert for.

(Koala can be a cruel fanboy dealer)

His heart started pumping but not of adrenaline or fear for a few seconds before.

Ace if you're still watching....please help me.

#MarcoSabo #Time Travel #Met me in another time Au #So here is a thing #I'm trying to write

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yesterdanereviews · 4 years

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Junior G-Men of the Air (1942)

Film review #415

Directors: Lewis D. Collins, Ray Taylor

SYNOPSIS: “Ace” Holden and his friends hang out at his Father’s airstrip, hoping to enter the local air race while Ace’s younger brother Eddie is inventing a new plane engine. Ace and his friends witness a bank robbery, and when they refuse to cooperate with the local G-man, they try and find the robbers, not realising that they belong to the “Order of the Black Dragonfly” a foreign organisation that is attempting to sabotage American industry and pave the way for an invasion. Ace and his friends join up with the junior G-men in order to combat this threat to themselves and their country...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Junior G-men of the Air is a 1942 film serial composed of twelve chapters, and the third to feature the young group of actors The Dead End Kids and The Little Tough Guys, although none of the serials are connected or have the same characters. This time, the kids are help to salvage junk at the airfield owned by the Father of one of the boys, Ace. While out collecting junk in their truck, they witness a robbery on a bank by a gang who steal their truck to make their getaway. Ace manages to get a strange broach of one of the men, but when the local G-man, Don Ames asks for the kids cooperation, they refuse due to their distrust of law enforcement. It turns out the robbers belong to a group known as the “Order of the Black Dragonfly,” a fifth column gang of saboteurs looking to destabilise American society to pave the way for a foreign invasion. As the serial progresses and Ace’s younger brother Eddie is kidnapped, the kids join up with the junior G-men, led by Jerry Markham, to find the gang and put a stop to them. The film’s plot is quite similar to Junior G-men, the first serial featuring the group of young actors, but while that one had a setting on land, and Sea Raiders focused on the sea, this one is centred around the air and aeroplanes, although there’s not too much action in the air. At least each of them have something unique about them. Other than that there’s not too much special about the story, but as with its predecessors, having the leads be these young, unruly boys rather than the typical all-american hero offers something a little different to the vast majority of serials.

The characters of the young actors are quite similar to the ones they played in the previous serials, but I suppose they are hired to play those specific roles. The leader of the gang, Ace, is the usual agitator and instigator, although he appears a bit more tidy than the previous serials for reasons I’ll get into below. At least his name isn’t Billy this time as well. Huntz Hall as “Bolts” plays his usual idiots sidekick routine without any real surprises, and “Stick” and “Greaseball” play mostly supporting roles, but they do have more lines and action than in the previous serials. While the kids are still troublemakers and somewhat hostile to any person of the law, they are less abrasive and unlikable than they were in previous serials, which again I’ll get into below. Other characters including “Double Face” Gordon add some variety to the line-up, while Don Ames as the G-man provide the more typical straight-laced law enforcement hero. Once again there’s no real female characters aside from a minor secretarial role, as it’s clear the serial is aimed at young boys of a more rebellious nature. The villains are classed as saboteurs, destroying America from within, and are obviously meant to be representing Japan. As is usual for these serials, The Japanese characters are all played by white Americans in make-up to “look” Japanese, which is not a good look to say the least, and a practice which sadly persevered for years in the film industry. Other than that, there’s nothing too remarkable about them.

Let’s get into the main aim of this serial: it is a giant propaganda piece for young Americans to serve their country in any way possible. By the time of the serials release, the U.S. had officially entered the Second World war after the attack on Pearl Harbour, and Anti-Japanese sentiment as overwhelming. A lot of these serial have secret Japanese societies of saboteurs fuelling this sentiment, as well as convincing the public to suspicious of everything around them. That the rough antics of the lead kids and their hostility to law enforcement is toned down in this serial compared to the previous ones is probably due to delivering this message that everyone must help their country in any way they can, in fact there’s multiple scenes that explicitly deliver this line. The final chapter of the serial is one big battle where the army storms the farm where the villains have set up a base, making it look like a battlefield and displaying the glorious victory of American troops. At the end everyone remarks about how vigilant they must be against enemies from within who threaten to destroy the American way of life, when they get new that Pearl Harbour has been attacked and they must now get ready for war and remain more vigilant than before. A lot of wartime serials push this messaging, but this serial is definitely more blatant about it than others I’ve seen. Maybe because it’s aimed at the younger rebellious generation that might be more reluctant to get behind their country. nevertheless, this makes for a much more interesting finale than you get in most serials, with the large scale battle making for an interesting payoff, even if it feels like mostly stock-footage not involving most of the main cast.

Overall, Junior G-men of the Air is a decent enough serial with plenty of action to keep younger viewers entertained. The overwhelming sense of wartime propaganda that fills some of the scenes is a bit much (although there’s definitely worse), and the frankly racist depiction of Japanese people as sneaky and devious is badly outdated, which was sadly not uncommon in film for a significant period of time. It doesn’t offer much that the previous two serials featuring the young actors doesn’t, but like the other two, at least does something a little different to most serials.

#movie #movie review #junior g-men of the air #sci-fi #movie serial #serial #film #film review #dead end kids #little tough guys #1942 film

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protierras · 5 years

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Career NHL shutout on nov lewis shot Craig Robertson Jersey

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once-upon-a-time-psychblog-blog · 7 years

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I’m finding all the CS wedding hype rather amusing… I said I was done with this show a while back but split Queen lured me back in. I bailed again because the show hasn’t redeemed itself and I don’t believe this wedding is an indication of a happy ending. I’m not going to talk about that today. Today is for the upcoming musical episode, where the fan focus hasn’t really been about the musical element at all, it’s been the Captain Swan wedding. Captain Swan are getting married! They are endgame and SwanQueeners will just have to deal with it and accept that Captain Swan is the most beautiful love story ever told, and oh my god Jen chose a wedding dress Grace Kelly wore in a movie called “The Swan” and Grace Kelly was such a style icon that this wedding is so iconic because Captain Swan is the purest of true loves and that must be why Jen chose the dress and they are gonna live happily ever after and they’ll finally have sex on their honeymoon and have CS babies and won’t that be just so wonderfully fantastic! 🙄 I wonder if my fake fangirling and heavily sarcastic tone was detectable in that speech… My response to the first part, about the wedding actually happening is… it may happen, and it may not. Even when couples say “I do” and wear rings after tying the knot, it does not necessarily mean that it is true love and they will live happily ever after. Princess Diana wasn’t happy in her marriage to Prince Charles and look how that ended, which was also dubbed as a fairytale once upon a time by those who knew nothing of Diana’s life or her marriage. 👸🏼 Aside from the fact that all true love’s kisses on OUAT happen during a curse, and it’s always been the first kiss shared that breaks a curse, Captain Swan have had their first kiss outside of a relationship and outside a curse in Neverland so I wouldn’t expect a rainbow blast then. Snowing only get those happen when they are in a curse. In Ruby Slippers, Red kissed Dorothy to break her out of a sleeping curse - first kiss rainbow blast. Hades and Zelena’s first kiss broke the curse Hades brother placed upon him so they got their rainbow blast. Aurora was woken by Phillip and it was the first kiss we saw between them… the only time where a curse has been broken without a kiss was during the frozen arc with but it wasn’t a curse as such, it was a spell. The spell of shattered sight. Spells are different to curses. ✨ So Captain Swan had their first kiss and subsequently been in curses & true love’s kiss has never actually worked for them. You can argue all the other red herrings of Captain Swan being true love but the fact is a true love’s kiss is what is meant to break any curse, true love being the strongest magic of all and that still has not happened. Why is that??? Maybe they are saving it for the wedding day CSers cry. Maybe they are, it is a possibility. But in my opinion it’s highly unlikely. You should know Adam and Eddy’s way of writing by now. What they show you in canon text is NEVER what is intended. Unless of course you refer to the Snowing ship. This is why SUBTEXT is so important. I’m not talking about SwanQueen subtext. I’m not even going to go into a SwanQueen is endgame argument, which may shock you. No, I’m going to just use the OUAT storytelling as it has always been to make my point without bringing SwanQueen into it. 😧 Firstly, this is Adam and Eddy we are talking about. The same guys who gave us the mysterious Lost series, where we were trying to figure out what the hell was going on with this strange island that attracted planes to crash into it that people miraculously survived from. The people were stranded and trying to find a way off the island. The island at first seemed like some sort of conspiracy. There was a Dhama project and the word Dhama in Buddhism means TRUTH. So there was this element of trying to figure out what the truth was. This place didn’t make any sense and was totally confusing. Turns out that it wasn’t a reality as such. Seeing as many years have passed since then I think I am safe to say it… the island was some form of purgatory. They were held there and when some vanished in whatever fate was bestowed upon them, that was their soul moving from purgatory. At least that’s how it was interpreted. The ending actually infuriated a lot of viewers. 😤 So if you aren’t familiar with Adam and Eddy’s work, I suggest that you get to know it and understand that nothing is as straightforward as it seems where those two are involved in the writing. If they are happy with a wedding spoiler to be released (the guys who are strictly “no comment no spoilers”) then it’s safe to say that this wedding isn’t actually going to be as it seems. 💍🙊 Do you remember when Rumple’s dad played “Follow the Lady” before he became Peter Pan? It’s the three card trick where the player must keep their eyes on the marked card (the Queen) whilst it is shuffled around with two joker cards though some use aces. This is also called three card monte. When the swindler has finished moving them around, the player must choose the marked card (the Queen). The players watch carefully trying to keep an eye on that marked card focusing so hard on what they are told to focus on. Only when they turn the card over they believe is the marked card, it turns out they have been focused on one of the two jokers. This is Adam and Eddy’s game when they tell a story. They are telling you to focus so hard on the wedding. It’s the marked card. But when the wedding scene actually happens, you can bet your bottom dollar that when that card gets turned over, you’ll end up with a joker, and the wedding isn’t what it seems. ♠️♥️♣️♦️🃏 This is why SUBTEXT is actually more important than CANON TEXT! Things that are canon because they are written and verbally stated by characters, are generally what they WANT you to focus on, so when they flip that card (the plot) you feel like a fool staring down at a joker. So when it comes to that episode I think I’m gonna sit back, sip my tea, and have a giggle at all these CSers flipping their shit because they truly believed they are actually going to get what they want. 🐸☕️ Naturally they won’t direct their frustration with Adam on twitter, oh no, the’ll misdirect that anger at Swen because they’ll convince themselves that Adam and Eddy listened to us and gave in. But if it goes the way Adam and Eddy like to play, Swen won’t get what they want out of this episode which would be for Emma to realise she is making a mistake at the very least, and as a bonus run off with Regina. Yeah that’s not going to happen either, although it is nice to dream it at this point. What happens in the future who knows? The thing with Adam and Eddy is they aren’t afraid to give nobody what they want or hope for. OutlawQueen didn’t have a true love’s kiss, they didn’t even utter the words “I love you” - funny how that without saying I love you that their relationship can be seen as canon love because of the obvious subtext, whereas something like SwanQueen can’t because they aren’t dating. 🙃 But not going there. 😋 Realistically, it’s been 6 years, and in that time nobody ever gets what they want, and only side characters have ever had true love’s kiss because other wise the story would be over and done with quick if all the mains got their happy endings. I mean, y'all should have learned the routine by now CSers. Oh but what am I thinking, of course you haven’t learned the routine because only canon written things are important to you. Silly me! 🐸☕️ As for the Grace Kelly wedding dress, and the movie The Swan in which Grace Kelly appeared in… let me clear up a few things, seeing as I tend to watch a lot of vintage movies. I love to watch Grace Kelly, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Doris Day… not only to see such a difference with acting back then to how it is today, but because these women were fashion icons of their time and are still icons in history. I have a particular interest in styles of those eras and how very different they were compared to the styles around today. But the movies… the actresses were great, but the messages of them weren’t always. Some were quite degrading to women in my opinion; The Swan being one of them. 🐥 The premise of the Swan… Prince Albert, visits a banished family of nobles. Their matriarch ( to spell it out for you this means the head of the family) Princess Beatrix (who seemed to act like more of a domineering queen), wants her daughter Alexandra, to marry her own cousin Albert so that the family will be welcomed back into the kingdom. So Alexandra’s mother encourages her to flirt with Albert to gain his affections to regain regal status as she believes he will fall in love with her, marry her, and they can finally rule a kingdom again. (Reiterating this point to CSers because generally they only focus of context rather than any subtext… this is not love, because love is not a choice and love isn’t manipulation in order to gain status or material possessions). 🙄 Princess Beatrix: Oh my dear child, this is the one thing, the one opportunity that all your life I’ve been praying for - for you to become a queen. - Doesn’t she sound like Cora! Not at all like Snow. The one opportunity in all YOUR life that I’VE been praying for. Never mind whether Alexandra has any feelings of her own. I’ll just dream your life for you and you do as I say to fulfil my own dreams for your life. This is such a common thing. When you think in terms of sexuality, though this has nothing to do with sexuality, a lot of homophobic parents like to do, control and force their child to be in straight relationships they don’t want to be in. Controlling and forcing relationships is something a parent should never do, regardless of whether or not their child is heterosexual or otherwise. Control and manipulation is not an act of unconditional love. Anyway, I digress. So back to the story… 😑 Much to her Beatrix’s dismay, Albert doesn’t show much of an interest in Alexandra. So Beatrix encourages Alexandra to flirt with her tutor, Nicholas in order to rouse Albert’s attention. 😧 Princess Beatrix: My dear child, how do you suppose I came to marry your father? You can’t think a man just gets an idea into his head and asks a woman to marry him? Of course not! All your father ever cared for was horses. He wouldn’t even look at me. So I looked once or twice at the riding master. Your father proposed the very next afternoon - on horseback. 🤔 Don’t you just love pushy manipulative people who become parents who then try to manipulate force their children into a relationship where there is no feeling not to mention the fact that Albert was Alexandra’s cousin? I know you CSers are so quick to jump on an incest wagon when you compare Regina who was no blood relation to Snow, was forced into a marriage with Snow’s father, man she didn’t love and therefore was forced to be a stepmother very temporarily to Snow, whom she didn’t want to be a step parent to, rather than also accept the fact that Hook actually had a relationship with Henry’s biological grandmother by choice, and was Baelfire’s/Neal’s step father by your own logic, was even trying to act as such whilst Baelfire was aboard the Jolly Roger, and therefore acted unbeknown to him as Emma’s step father-in-law… so this marrying of a cousin thing should really be a pleasant thing for you guys to hear. Anyway…. 🙃 Dropping the prince and princess titles as writing that is becoming rather monotonous, Alexandra does as her mother wishes and flirts with her attractive tutor Nicholas. However, later the plan backfires when she develops genuine feelings for Nicholas. Nicholas is already quite taken with Alexandra, so when she invites him to the farewell ball for Albert (her last chance for the plan to work) he eagerly accepts. Later when they are dancing at the ball it appears that Albert is getting jealous, (how very possessive considering his apparent lack of interest) but instead of saying something, he appears to show more interest in playing the bass viol in the orchestra. 🎶🎵🎶 Despite the original intention of using Nicholas, Alexandra realises she is quite taken with Nicholas. Here you can see her conflict where she expresses feelings for him but you can see that she is bound by her ploy in order to gain the Kingdom for her family… 💔 Dr. Nicholas Agi: You’re so sweet and so beautiful… Princess Alexandra: Don’t come any closer Nicholas… I’ve never seen a man in love and… he happens to be in love with me. Dr. Nicholas Agi: Are you so afraid of me? Princess Alexandra: Oh, if I am I want always to be afraid. I want to be so good to you. I want a hundred things. I want to tell you everything that’s in my heart… I want to look after you and spoil you and… oh, eat something. The wanting to always be afraid is a hint of saying I want to always be afraid that I will lose you because that’s how I know, in this confusing time where I feel things for you but I’m trying to gain my cousin’s affections, that my feelings for you are genuine. But obviously she cannot be so transparent and say this aloud because of her mission set by her mother. 😔 Eventually, she tells Nicholas that it was all a ploy to get Albert to propose to her and she suspected he felt this way. She realizes that she has some feelings for him but he feels used and that Alexandra has been disingenuous, so refuses her affection. Albert comes to find out about this situation and is a little taken aback. Albert and Nicholas trade insults, and Nicholas then storms out and tries to leave the next morning. 😭 Alexandra, distraught over what happened, tries to leave with him, but he refuses her again. YES… SHE WANTED NICHOLAS NOT ALBERT! Albert’s mother shows up and gets the entire story and is aghast. Albert actually GIVES HIS BLESSING to the pair and says that when he is king he will allow them back into the country. However, Nicholas is still hurt ends up leaving the mansion without Alexandra. 😭💔 So… there you have it. She didn’t actually want to marry Albert, because she actually loved Nicholas. But royalty being what it is, marrying for love is rare. She did end up marrying Albert but it wasn’t for love. These are the last lines where Albert tries to console Alexandra… 😭 Prince Albert: Your father used to call you his swan, so I am told. I think that’s a good thing to remember. Think what it means to be a swan: to glide like a dream on the smooth surface of the lake, and never go to the shore. On dry land, where ordinary people walk, the swan is awkward, even ridiculous. When she waddles up the bank she painfully resembles a different kind of bird, n'est-ce-pas? Princess Alexandra: A goose. Prince Albert: I’m afraid so. And there she must stay, out on the lake: silent, white, majestic. Be a bird, but never fly. Know one song, but never sing it until the moment of death. And so it must be for you, Alexandra: cool indifference to the staring crowds along the bank. And the song? Never. 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Now… first off, Albert insulted Alexandra. She is graceful but only where she belongs… he doesn’t see her gracefulness in any other circumstance. Out of her natural habitat (i.e. with Nicholas whom she actually had romantic feelings for) she would be awkward and ridiculous. Instead of being the regal beauty that she is, she would be more like a goose. It’s all metaphoric to suggest that she is far too good for a man who was actually a nice guy, but not royal and therefore not worthy, despite the fact that she genuinely loves Nicholas. It was suggesting that her life was to be unfulfilled, and that her cousin who wasn’t interested in her to begin with, and who only did become interested when another man was on the scene, who will give her a life where she can be regal and graceful, but she as a Swan cannot sing her (Swan) song and must be silent and subservient to preserve the perfection illusion for the Kingdom. This is the life she was born into and she should just accept it. 😤 What kind of message is that really to women? To settle for a guy you’re actually related to, in a loveless marriage, living a life where the surface everything looks perfectly regal and wonderful, but she can’t even express herself… sounds like such a wonderful happily ever after, doesn’t it? [Oh sorry, insert sarcastic tone here again!] 🙃 And wouldn’t you know it, beautiful blonde woman with a Swan wearing a crown was the poster for that 1950’s movie. Seems to depict the oppressive nature of how royal romances are more of a transaction than of genuine love. Not saying that some aren’t for love, it’s just not often that a royal will marry someone for love. Though I do believe that Kate and William in the UK did marry for love. I guess time will tell. 🙃 Ironically, Grace Kelly was courting her own prince while making The Swan. She met Prince Rainier during April 1955 Cannes Film Festival. By December that year, he proposed to her. Royals do work fast and this is usually down to external pressures in retaining their kingdoms. It was speculated that he was seeking a wife, as a treaty with France in 1918 stated that if he did not produce an heir to the throne, Monaco would revert to France. However this was neither confirmed nor denied. It was also rumoured he had an affair with three different women and the first was during Grace’s first pregnancy, but that was also neither confirmed or denied so we cannot say for sure whether it was a faithful marriage. 😕 Also ironically, that movie featured several eerie similarities to Kelly’s future. Her white lace costumes are quite similar to her wedding dress, and Alec Guinness who plays Prince Albert in The Swan, actually looks a great deal like Grace Kelly’s husband, Prince Rainier in this movie. 🤔 Interestingly enough, Grace Kelly actually did some work for ABC! Yes, she narrated ABC’s made-for-television film The Poppy is Also a Flower (1966). She and Rainier worked together in a 33-minute independent film called Rearranged in 1979, which received interest from ABC TV executives in 1982 after premiering in Monaco, on the condition that it be extended to an hour. Before more scenes could be shot, Kelly died and the film was never released or shown publicly again. Grace Kelly died in a car accident. The beautiful blonde princess lost control of her car after suffering a minor stroke that caused her to lose control of the vehicle. Her daughter, Stephanie, one of her three children, was in the car with her and she tried to regain control by taking the wheel after her mother lost consciousness, but failed to do so. Grace was alive but unconscious, with injuries to her brain, thorax and a femur fracture, she was in a coma on life support until the following day when Rainer decided to terminate the life support as doctors determined that she would not recover. Stephanie suffered bruising, concussion and a fracture to her spine. She didn’t attend her mother’s funeral due to these injuries. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 A tragic way for a princess to die, a tragic way for anyone to die really. Her life was cut short, so the happily ever after bit didn’t really happen for them. 😔😔😔😔😔😔 During her marriage to Rainer, Grace was not permitted to act anymore, a decision that Rainer himself imposed after an outcry in Monaco when Hitchcock offered Grace a part which would depict her fictional character as a kleptomaniac. So Grace had no choice but to decline Hitchcock’s offer. Despite acting being her dream and pleasure in life, the only way she could do it would be to divorce Rainer, which would mean leaving her three children in Monaco, and she would never do that. So she threw herself into her role as a princess and engaged in charitable work. Grace Kelly’s dream was to act and it had been her dream from being a very young child, much to her parents initial displeasure. However, her life changed, and she had to put not only her children and husband first, but the reputation of Monaco before herself too. She was no longer in a position to pursue her dreams. After her death, Rainer lived out his life, but never remarried and he is buried alongside her. ☹️ Most see Grace Kelly as this gorgeous blonde woman, who got lucky and married her own Prince Charming in a fairytale come true. But what I see is this whirlwind romance where a proposal was made after 8 months of not actually spending a lot of time together what with their individual commitments (particularly Grace’s as she was filming at the time). She accepted it meant that she had to give up her dreams, sadly her tragic death meant the apparent on the surface perfect fairytale (which it really wasn’t) ended prematurely to what a happily ever after is meant to be. Fairytales don’t end in tragedy. So I really find it somewhat interesting that Jennifer Morrison chose a Grace Kelly wedding dress of all the dresses she could have chosen. It will be interesting to see just how this pans out. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Follow the lady does not mean follow Emma into the canon plot spoiler that they don’t mind you seeing with blind faith that it will happen. The truth and the clues as to what will happen have already been shown to us, but you guys are too busy focusing on what they tell you to look at. It’s not the big obvious canon things where the truth is found, it’s in the details and the subtext, in the small things. Even in the things you believe are not canon because they haven’t been said. But what do I matter huh? I’m just a fan who ships SwanQueen and as YNB said once only canon ships are worth talking about 🙃 I wonder if that statement will still hold up after all of this is over, or whether Adam and Eddy’s storytelling will teach the lesson that just because something is canon, doesn’t mean it’s set in stone and that it always will be.

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placetobenation · 6 years

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Hey-hey! It’s finally time to post up another PTB Power Rankings for the 2018 MLB Season. So, dust off those cleats, pull your bats out of storage, and find a glove that still fits because we are BACK and ready to, uh, well, rank 30 teams in opinionated order of performance.

Shit, well, it’s good to get back to it anyway.

Yes, Miggy, the first PTB MLB Power Rankings of the year are FINALLY out!

Editor’s note: Truly sorry about my lack of sports/baseball stuff, Nation. Grad school, unemployment, re-employment, and a lot of busy-ness at work have a way of sidetracking things. And once out of a habit, well, you know…

All records and stats are current as of Saturday, June 9, 2018.

1. New York Yankees (42-18) — The Bronx Bombers have won nine of their last 10, they’re playing .700 ball, and are the only team in MLB that has yet to lose 20 games. Ridiculous.

2. Boston Red Sox (44-21) — Personally, I find it quite boring when these two superpowers lead MLB. However, with the BoSox ripping up the league with 5.22 runs scored per game (second to the Yanks at 5.54), 600 team hits, 144 doubles, and 95 home runs, the offense is in *ahem* full swing. Solid support for Chris Sale (2.83 ERA), Rick Porcello (3.59), and David Price (4.00) and what has been a pretty good bullpen.

3. Houston Astros (41-25) — The defending champs are allowing the fewest runs in MLB (3.02 per game) while offensive core stalwarts Jose Altuve (142 OPS+), Carlos Correa (130 OPS+), Alex Bregman (136 OPS+), and George Springer 145 OPS+). Oh, and Justin Verlander (262 ERA+) and Gerrit Cole (176 OPS+) are posting best-ever seasons.

4. Seattle Mariners (40-24) — Listen, there are only four teams with 40+ wins to this point in the season (Milwaukee, see below, is at 39 as of this writing). The AL has all four them. The Mariners are probably the least likely to maintain, but, hey, those 40 are in the bank.

5. Milwaukee Brewers (39-25) — Raise your hand if you figured the Brewers posting the NL’s best record this far into the season. The offense has been alright (4.39 runs a game) as has the pitching overall (3.72 runs allowed), but that bullpen has been great (2.54 ERA). Josh Hader, in particular, is out-of-this-world. Getting ace Jimmy Nelson back soon could put the Brew Crew over the top.

6. Chicago Cubs (37-24) — Just half a game behind the Brewers, with six everyday batters posting OPS+ numbers over 100 (average). The bullpen features a whole bunch of sub-3 ERAs and Jon Lester (7-2, 2.22) has been great atop the rotation. While all those arms could regress, the solid showing at the plate from the Cubbies should keep them in the midst of October talk.

7. Washington Nationals (36-26) — The injuries have mounted for the Nats, but Max Scherzer has been healthy and continues his march towards Cooperstown. Teen phenom Juan Soto has been awesome in his 19-game introduction (.328/.435/.552) with a very promising 11-10 BB-to-K ratio.

8. Atlanta Braves (37-27) — The Bravos seem to have arrived a year ahead of schedule, but this team looks real good for a dynastic run, with Freddie Freeman (28), Ozzie Albies (21), Dansby Swanson (24), Ronald Acuna (20), and top hurlers Mike Foltynewicz (26) and Sean Newcomb (25) all well ahead of the curve.

9. Los Angeles Angels (37-28) — Mike Trout. We need to appreciate him more. Here’s his current line: .306/.439/.646, 1.085 OPS, 198 OPS+, 52 runs, 70 hits, 15 doubles, 19 homers, 13 steals (no caught stealings), 53-53 K-BB rate. And the dude is still only 26. Insane. Now, how the Halos hang around with Shohei Ohtani’s elbow woes remains in doubt, but the dominance of the Millville Meteor is of no question.

10. St. Louis Cardinals (35-27) — Only Jose Martinez (145 OPS+) and Tommy Pham (118) are really raking for the Redbirds, but strong starts from Miles Mikolas (2.27 ERA), Michael Wacha (2.47), and Carlos Martinez (1.83) are keeping the Cards alive in the Central and in the thick of things for a postseason spot.

This guy is really, really, really, amazingly good at baseball.

11. Philadelphia Phillies (32-30) — A week or so ago, these guys would rate much better, but the Phils have got 1-7 in June. The talent is there, but the next big test for rookie manager Gabe Kapler will be righting the ship.

12. Arizona Diamondbacks (34-29) — Remember back in April when Arizona was the toast of baseball with a 28-8 record? Yeah, well, going 14-21 since has certainly put that in the distant past. Of note, though, Paul Goldschmidt seems to waking up (13-for-20 with four homers over his last four games). It’s a thoroughly mediocre division to this point, so the winner of the NL West may well wind up being the team that takes best advantage of when its best players produce.

13. Cleveland Indians (33-29) — The lowest-rated division leaders here, the Tribe has played well at home (20-11) but been the pits away (13-18). While they’re still pretty odds-on to win the Central, that vaunted bullpen (worst in MLB with a 5.82 ERA) has a chance to torpedo anything beyond that. Of note, Cleveland could be the first team since 1920 to lead MLB in bullpen ERA one year (2.89 in 2017) and then finish dead-last the next.

14, 15, 16 (tie). Colorado Rockies, Los Angeles Dodgers, San Francisco Giants (32-32) — The Rockies’ regression was expected from last year, while the Dodgers have been hit by more injuries than a clown car at a demolition derby, and the Giants have managed to hang around via a great home record (19-11). With a little luck and health, any of these three could challenge for the division crown, or a wildcard berth.

17. Detroit Tigers (31-35) — They are not a good team, but also not as bad as once thought. While they should still look to trade guys like Shane Greene, Michael Fulmer, and a few others, this is a very fun team to watch when they are playing well. Ron Gardenhire deserves a lot of credit here. He won’t get many (any?) votes, but this is what a Manager of the Year looks like, folks.

18. Oakland Athletics (33-32) — Trevor Cahill. Blake Treinen. Matt Chapman. Matt Olson. Mark Canha. Raise your hand if you knew these were five members of the 2018 Oakland A’s and not the roster of some non-descript mid-90s boy band. Personally, I prefer Matty C. over Matt O. And that Trevor. He’s so good to his mother.

19. Minnesota Twins (27-34) — Injuries, starting with Ervin Santana in February, have not stopped dogging this team. It’d be a real shame if we don’t get to appreciate Byron Buxton fully because of his health. However, Eddie Rosario (.318/.355/.566) with 14 home runs has been a real breakout star for these erstwhile preseason darlings.

20. Pittsburgh Pirates (31-33) — The Pirates have a talent core of players. They have a gorgeous ballpark. They have a devoted fanbase. But they also have a shitty ownership group that refuses to give said fans what they want — a winner. The hard part should be developing your supporting cast, not paying for the top-tier talent.

21. Toronto Blue Jays (29-35) — Oh, well. That window sure closed in a hurry. A selloff could bring some much-needed youth ot the Jays, as well as adding intrigue to the wild-card races around the league.

22. San Diego Padres (30-36) — I can’t believe I’ve got them this high, either. Clearly, Eric Hosmer’s will-to-win-veteran-presence even affects mid-season rankings. In truth, the Friars have a great bullpen, which, if they wish to sell off, could bring in some depth to an already-well-liked farm system.

Hey Eddie! Yeah, you. Sorry about your team. But hey, great season so far, mate!

23. Tampa Bay Rays (29-34) — The “opener” trend seems like grasping at straws to be innovative, like Kevin Cash wants Michael Lewis to write a book about him or something. That said, despite a horrid start to the year, and a veritable Who’s That? roster, these guys are not all that bad. They are not good either. They are the bologna and cheese on white bread of the American League. Mustard optional.

24. New York Mets (27-34) — Well, they did the right thing by dumping C— Harvey, but this team is still just Mets-ing all over the place. Losers of eight straight, with whispers they might deal deGrom or Thor. I’m sure if those trades happen, this organization will find a way to Mets those up too.

25. Texas Rangers (27-40) — It’s nice to see National Treasure Bartolo Colon pitching well. He’s old and fat, so we should adore him. I guess. I’m actually a bit lost on his precise appeal.

26. Cincinnati Reds (22-43) — The mere fact that C— Harvey shares a team with Joey “The Last Angry Canadian” Votto, and Tucker “What A Great Last Name” Barnhart, boils my blood and causes me night sweats. Also, the pitching stinks.

27. Chicago White Sox (21-41) — Lucas Giolito lead the Pale Hose with four wins, but has a 7.08 ERA. Meanwhile, Jose Abreu (139 OPS+, team-high 24 doubles) is an island unto himself.

28. Kansas City Royals (22-43) — The Royals are giving up 5.52 runs per game. The Yankees have scored 5.54 runs per game. That’s right, folks! When the Royals are in town, it’s just like watching the Yankees!

29. Baltimore Orioles (19-44) — It’s pretty clear Buck Showalter doesn’t care anymore, does it? While we all know Manny Machado is great at baseball (166 OPS+) and will be traded, just gander at the awfulness of Chris Davis’s season (.152/.232/.232, four home runs, a 30 OPS+). It’s soooooooo gross!

30. Miami Marlins (23-41) — No, the Marlins are not last because of my spite over how they have been a joke forever, constantly screw over fans, and make a mockery of competition. No, it’s not because their current and former owners are emblematic of the excessive awfulness of capitalism . No, it’s not because they plead “process” over “results” whenever someone rightly gives them a second look. It’s because they suck. Last in runs scored per game (3.48) and tied for fifth-worst in runs allowed (5.14) should do.

And with that, we are back in the pink with our Power Rankings. I hope to bring you guys more MLB goodness throughout the rest of the year when time allows. Until then, it’s batter up and play ball!

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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