#Danny gets to learn how to steal shit from rich people

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Catwoman's new sidekick (dc x dp)

This is very loosely inspired by this prompt. Enjoy the blurb:)

Danny didn’t really like guns. Not the ecto-weapons his parents made, but the actual bullet-filled guns. He knew how to use them, as that was what his parents had based themselves off of to create their own ectoplasm-powered version of it, but he didn’t like them. So when he’d found one not only loaded, but with the safety off in his apartment’s garbage bin, he’d plan to take it and go throw it in the river to make sure nobody would get to use it. Danny wasn’t exactly shocked to see it, this was Gotham after all, but it was a bit of a nasty surprise to say the least. It wasn’t like it could really hurt him anymore, it seemed halfas had a sort of built-in instinct for going intangible (which had explained why the Nasty-Burger-explosion-that-never-happened hadn’t affected him despite being taken completely by surprise).

Not to mention he was already in a bad mood at the news that Vlad was in the city right now for some rich guy nonsense, which Danny was 100% sure meant the fruitloop was going to come by to bother him at some point in the next few days.

“Hello, Daniel,” came Vlad’s voice from behind him as if summoned.

“Get away from me, you creep,” Danny answered, not turning around. Instead, he started walking in the opposite direction.

“Is that anyway to talk to your unckie Vlad?” The man said with his smarmy tone. “And I came by such a long way to come see you.”

“You saw me, now you can leave.” Danny didn’t bother turning his head as Vlad caught up so they were walking side by side.

The billionaire tsked as he looked around. “It’s such a shame you live in such a poor neighbourhood. You know the offer to pay for your tuition is still open.”

“Not in a million years,” Danny answered dryly.

“You’re just as stubborn as my dear Madeleine used to be,” Vlad sighed and Danny felt the disgust twist his features into a grimace.

“Still being a creepy disgusting old loner, Vlad?” Danny snarked. “How many cats are you on, number 5?”

There was flash of anger in the older man’s eye before he smirked. “And how is dear Danielle these days, it’s been so long since she came by. I think she’ll be due for another meltdown soon.”

On impulse, Danny raised the gun, knowing full well the man would go intangible faster than any bullet and pointed it at Vlad. “Don’t you dare touch her.”

“Oh please, Daniel,” Vlad scoffed. “What are you going to do, shoot me?”

“Maybe,” Danny retorted.

“It wouldn’t change anything,” Vlad dismissed.

“Might make me feel better,” Danny said even as he lowered the gun a bit, knowing it wouldn’t do anything.

Vlad knew this just as well, and he sneered before turning his back to Danny and walking away with a parting shot. “I always get what I want, Daniel. Whether it’s through you or her.”

The gun that Danny had lowered slightly now came back up. He was so tempted to empty the stupid thing at Vlad, no matter if it would all pass through him. Before he could do anything though, a voice from above sounded.

“He’s not worth it, kid.”

Danny looked up to find the masked face of Catwoman peering down on him.

“He deserves worse than this,” Danny said, mind still on the temptation of shooting at Vlad’s intangible back. This was a deserted part of the city, it wasn’t like it would hurt anyone else.

“I promise there are better ways to make him pay,” Catwoman answered.

Danny scoffed bitterly. “Vlad’s so rich, he can pay off anyone and cover up any scandal I could think of.” And if money didn’t work, there was always straight-up overshadowing innocent bystanders.

The masked woman hesitated for a while before she called down determinately. “Look, get rid of the gun, and I promise I’ll help you make him pay.”

“Really?” Danny wasn’t too sure what that entailed but anything that would hinder Vlad was a go for him. “You promise?”

“I do,” she stated with conviction. “But you have to lose the gun.”

“Yeah, ok,” Danny said. He was going to do it anyways, but if she wanted it gone even faster, Danny wasn’t going to argue.

Selina watched as her new sidekick dropped off the gun into the river. It fell in with a splash that had something in her curling comfortably. Maybe Bruce was really rubbing off on her if she was picking up strays

But, Selina had a good feeling about this. Talking a kid out of murder had been how Batman had gotten his first Robin, after all.

Part 2

#Selina takes Danny in to prevent him from murdering Vlad #Meanwhile it has not registered for Danny that she might think he wanted to kill the fruitloop #Catwoman showing off her new sidekick: yeah I talked him out of murdering someone #Danny being like cat woman this is such an honour owo #Danny gets to learn how to steal shit from rich people #He's really liking it #Plus Selina calls him kitten which makes him feel all kinds of fuzzy feelings inside #She's his cat mom now #Anybody even try and put a finger on Danny's new cat mom is going to suffer the consequences #danny phantom #dc x dp #dp xdc #catwoman #maybe a lil bit flirty vibes with one of the batfam? #roxpox #roxpoxwrote #i'm so tired guys

[ittybluebell]

Matt Murdock and Borrowers

i can only speak for the show specifically because i haven't read the comics, but engrained in daredevil's story is commentary about the effects of capitalism, power, and greed on the lower class. matt tries to combat this through the law, but even he knows the law is flawed and favours the rich and powerful. matt needs to help people - that's just how he is. the nelson & murdock office was literally going under due to matt, karen, and foggy taking payments in other forms besides monetarily (baked goods, for example) because they know the people who NEED help often can't afford it. all three of them are bleeding hearts who understand injustice and fight it day and night

with that in mind, how does it influence matt's interactions with borrowers? specifically with goldfinch, the protagonist of my daredevil g/t concept

matt knows that goldfinch is taking things. cloth and other little objects are going missing, but most notable is the food. they're taking necessities to survive. he recognizes that this is someone in need, someone who matt can help without putting on a suit, whether it be armoured or a two-piece. he leaves crumbs by the entrances frequented by finch. he pretends he doesn't notice their little heists, which leads to them becoming outrageously overconfident and quite literally stealing (*cough*borrowing) under his nose. he's shocked and impressed by finch's lack of fear (or perhaps a lack of self-preservation), but also amused at how much they're underestimating him

underneath the genuine saviour complex, matt is fascinated by their existence. he's so curious to know more. and can you blame the guy? a tiny person just four-inches-tall. how? where did they come from? he has a mini faith crisis, but that gets pushed down to unpack later (never, if he can help it)

matt empathizes with finch. living in a world not designed for you is a struggle he knows very well. 'super-senses' this and that, yada-yada - doesn't change the fact that he is blind. he can't read visual language or pictures; he can't see lights or colours; he struggles to operate technology and touch-screens are only getting more prevalent. if he isn't disregarded or patronized, he's infantilized. and matt is determined not to belittle finch. they may be small, smaller than his hand, but they're not helpless

MORE UNDER THE CUT!!

that said, it definitely takes a learning curve: he's protective over this tiny person. it's a big world, and they could be easily hurt. he doesn't intervene when they're climbing furniture and shit because, hey, he does parkour nightly. who's he to stop them? they have it handled. but when finch starts leaving the apartment and being out in the streets? hoooo boy. goldfinch can be cocky and reckless, especially in dangerous situations (matt's begging them to value their life a bit more and finch is just astounded at his lack of self-awareness), and matt so badly wants to put them in a little pouch where they'll be safe (he won't; they made an agreement)

don't even get me started on when frank finds out about goldfinch. dear god. matt wants castle nowhere near them

when the other defenders discover finch exists, matt is wary (more than finch, funnily enough). he didn't want them to know. these people are fighters (pot, kettle) with super strength: borrowers are extremely breakable and more people knowing increases the risk of finch getting hurt (also increases their protection, little does he know). luke is his gentlemanly self, giving finch space and genuinely interested in them as a person, but danny has trouble with boundaries and can be a little much (finch stabs him. he learns). they're both very careful. beyond the surprise, jessica is her indifferent (read: depressed) self. she's kind of unsettled, actually, and doesn't want to go anywhere near finch. this could be for a multitude of reasons (angst, uncanniness of a tiny person, etc) but all finch cares about is one less bean crowding them. holy shit, they thought one was bad...

more on foggy, karen, claire, colleen, misty, and frank with goldfinch in the future :3 i'm gettin the whole gang together bc defenders' group dynamics are my playground and i simply must have g/t interactions with them

matt keeps goldfinch a secret. of course he does - secrets are his jam. after meeting finch and learning about tiny people, he starts discerning smaller voices that he thought were merely distant; noticing little movements he mistook for rodents. one night he's out daredevil'ing, he rescues a borrower from a raccoon and that borrower tells others that the human vigilante with horns saved them. matt hears birds flying closer than ever, following him; perched like they're observing him. little voices whispering about the devil. word travels fast through the borrower network and borrowers in the area start to panic. finch has to run interference and reconnect with the community they left behind before this panic gets out of hand

matt keeps an ear out for borrowers like any citizen who might need help. finch acts as an advocate to vouch on his behalf because a big, scary human looking straight out of a nightmare isn't the greatest impression on borrower-kind. they're working on it

this went in a different direction than i originally planned. i swear i was going to write about the parallels of borrowers with the growing endemic of houselessness and poverty related to increased 'crime', and matt murdock struggling to uphold the law while also knowing the law fails and persecutes so many disadvantaged people, but i got carried away with interpersonal relationships. i'm actually so intrigued by borrowers being a critique of ableism, classism, and capitalism

#g/t #giant/tiny #daredevil #daredevil g/t #goldfinch (oc) #matt murdock #borrowers #g/t writing #g/t thoughts #gt #the borrowers #g/t community

[therenlover]

Therenlover’s Official Fanfic Glossary!

Hey hey hey! This is the place where you can find all my up-to-date fanfics linked nicely, read about what projects I have upcoming, and learn what requests I’m taking at the moment! Cheers!

This post is massive so, for the sake of your dash, everything is under the cut

A NOTE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I will do my best to fulfill any requests I get while my ask box/requests are open! That being said, I cannot promise every request will get done, and that if they do, they’ll be done in a timely manner. I’m currently working on a long-form project that needs a lot of time and energy to come out consistently, so unless I’m doing a writing event most of my writing juice will be focused on that. That being said, if you want something ask! The worst I can possibly do is direct you towards someone else who might be able to write what you want if I cant.

If I choose not to do your request based on personal preference (it makes me uncomfy/I don’t write for the character at that time/I don’t feel I can write what you want/etc.) I will do my best to contact you and let you know! That being said, if you think your ask got buried/forgotten, feel free to message me again and let me know, but please tell me when you message me if I should be looking for a prior request.

Characters/Fandoms I will write for currently

 💙 = I’m Currently Super Inspired To Write For This Character

Marvel/X-Men

Bucky Barnes

Loki

Peter Maximoff 💙

Pietro Maximoff

Helmut Zemo 💙

Hank McCoy

Ralph Bohner 💙

Vision

American Horror Story

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker 💙

Kyle Spencer (Pre- and Post- Death)

Jimmy Darling 💙

James Patrick March 💙

Kai Anderson

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine

Hancock

Star Wars

Poe Dameron

Armitage Hux 💙

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Finn

Han Solo

Assorted/Random

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne - FGO

Cu Chulainn/Cu Alter - FGO

Warren Lipka - American Animals 💙

Enjolras - Les Miserables

Grantaire - Les Miserables

Gabriel - Supernatural

Imagines - REQUESTS CLOSED

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Rory Monahan, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Headcanons - REQUESTS CLOSED

Modern! AU Armitage Hux Boyfriend Headcanons

Zemo With A Well Dress S/O Headcanons

Zemo Getting Jealous Headcanons

Oneshots - REQUESTS CLOSED

Marvel/X-Men

Helmut Zemo

One Last Night In Madripoor

Synopsis: Baron Helmut Zemo is a lonely, wanted man looking for some fun, you’re a piss-poor bounty hunter in search of a connection before leaving your life of crime behind, and fate has brought you together at a party the likes of which has never been seen before. You only have one night left in Madripoor, so why not take a chance?

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 4200~

Still Some Catching Up To Do

Synopsis: As a member of the criminal underworld, people walk out of your life all the time. Some are killed, others kill themselves, most get caught and only a couple get out of the life unscathed, disappearing into the world never to be seen again. Very few walk back in. So when your supposedly incarcerated ex-lover, the Winter Soldier, and the Falcon waltzed through your door and made you murder your boss, needless to say, you were surprised and more than a little bit pissed.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 6800~

Nine Years Starved

Synopsis: It had been a little over nine years since Helmut Zemo lost his family, his country, and his sanity. Nine years since his last kiss. Nine years since he felt like a human man. Finally, he was ready to start over again, but first, he had to pay his penance back where it all began; Novi Grad. That’s when, by the grace of the fates, he met you.

Rating: G

Word Count: 7000~

Daddy Dearest

Synopsis: Not everyone gets lucky enough to go from being a broke college student in New York to being the sugar baby to literal royalty, but not everyone is you. Most people would be worried about messing things up or losing him to someone else, but you knew he would never find another baby just like you. Besides, you knew exactly what to do to keep him wrapped around your little finger. He may have been the daddy, but you pulled the reins.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 8000~

In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

Synopsis: As a wanted man, Helmut Zemo spends most of his time jumping from place to place in the hopes of avoiding a trip back to prison. Unfortunately, that means he can’t always be home in your arms. When he is, though, in the rare moments of calm, you’re reminded of just how worth it it’s been to wait, even if that wait was only shortened by the arrival of your enemies.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 35,700~

Two Bodies In The Rain

Synopsis: It was raining the day you finally had to admit your feelings to Helmut. You hated to tell him the way you did, under the grey skies as your blood pooled below you, but at least you knew, in the end, he had seen the real you, even just once. That was enough.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5600~

Rest

Synopsis: Living life on the lam with your escaped super-villain lover means things rarely slow down enough for a real rest. When the exhaustion starts to take its toll on you, though, he knows exactly what to do to ease the pain. He may not be a good man, but he’s a good husband when it counts.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3200~

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Red Nights In Jupiter

Synopsis: At the end of another long day, you fall into bed with Jimmy Darling. The men you served throughout the day don’t matter then, nor do the coins in the mason jar by the door, or the women scheduled to attend Jimmy’s next Tupperware party. No, in that quiet darkness it’s just you and the man you love, bone-tired and happy to be home. Who could ask for more?

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3000~

James Patrick March

Heartsick

Synopsis: When you fall ill, James is given a forceful awakening about how he’s been neglecting your needs and what he must do to prevent harm from befalling you again.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3700~

In Sickness And In Health

Synopsis: Normally people don’t have their wedding and funeral on the same day, but you and James don’t quite have a normal relationship, do you? Besides, you wouldn’t wanna go any other way.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5500~

Fallout 4

Currently Empty

Star Wars

Currently Empty

Assorted/Random

Currently Empty

Long Form Works/Series

Young Artist!Zemo AU

Chapter One: The Boy With The Easel

Synopsis: About a month into your first semester at Novi Grad’s top university, you finally meet the strange young man that you’ve taken to calling “easel boy” in the back of a bookshop. From a distance, he always seemed cold and aloof. As you get to know him, though, you realize things aren’t always what they seem.

Rating: T

Word Count: 7000~

Till Forever Falls Apart (A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)

Chapter One: Welcome Home

Synopsis: As if getting thrown through the multiverse, trapped in an attic (albeit a cool one), mind-controlled to manipulate his grieving sister, and subsequently dragged out of Westview “for his own safety” by the FBI wasn’t enough, Peter Maximoff has now been shipped off to New York to live with a glorified baby sitter like some tragic orphan in a comic book until they find a way to get him back home. Things are not always as they seem, though, and this change might just be for the better.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2400~

Chapter Two: The Doctor Is In

Synopsis: Peter’s first few days in his new home are mostly uneventful, so he decides it’s the perfect time to dust off his running goggles and steal some shit. The building with the massive circular stained glass window seems like a great place to start! People with buildings that lavish are usually rich and weak, so what could possibly go wrong?

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800~

Chapter Three: It’s Always Been You

Synopsis: After a month of adapting to his new universe, Peter Maximoff can confidently say that he likes his new life more than his old one. Sure, he misses home sometimes, but he’s been far too busy flirting with his new roommate to spend time crying over the things he’s lost. Everything is smooth sailing until a strange journal in his roommate’s study leaves him with more questions than he knows what to do with. Now he’s on a mission to discover who he’s really living with before she has the chance to turn against him.

Rating: T

Word Count: 8600~

Chapter Four: Before You Go

Synopsis: Peter, after days of contemplation, has realized that part of him loves Y/N no matter what she is or what she’s been through. Unfortunately, he can’t find her anywhere. When she finally returns home with the intention of leaving again, Peter realizes it’s his last chance to tell her how he really feels. Will he succeed, or will he fail to be fast enough once again?

Rating: T

Word Count: 4000~

Chapter Four And A Half: Gimme Swayze

Synopsis: Now that the issue of Y/N leaving is out of the way, and Peter has finally kissed her, he falls into the motions of learning how to love someone for the first time. It’s easier than he thought it would be.

Rating: T

Word Count; 2600~

Cakes For The Evans: A Blogging And Baking Adventure!

Kai Anderson’s Disaster Cake

Hey you! If you’ve made it this far down the list, thanks for supporting me as an author! I’ll be linking my AO3 here. I post everything there shortly before I post it here, and there are some older fics there you might enjoy along the way! It’s also easier to drop comments over there and I keep them open for non-members, so give me a shout if you liked what I wrote!

I love you all, you make me so happy, and without you support I would never be motivated to write! Cheers!

#marvel #fanfiction #x reader #bucky barnes x reader #loki x reader #peter maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff x reader #quicksilver x reader #ralph bohner x reader #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #zemo x reader #hank mccoy x reader #vision x reader #tate langdon x reader #kit walker x reader #kyle spencer x reader #jimmy darling x reader #james march x reader #james patrick march x reader #kai anderson x reader #nick valentine x reader #hancock x reader #poe dameron x reader #armitage hux x reader #general hux x reader #kylo ren x reader #ben solo x reader #han solo x reader #finn x reader

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #me on the first post: #its not a liveblog! #me this time: it kinda is. but not in the same format as my tmm one #i like doing one post for a handful of eps bc it saves time #and crowds my blog less #and also i just like talking abt what im watching lol #dp thoughts

[fandima-moved-read-pinned]

Aven, all the numbers :)

1- Animated character that was your gay awakening? : I mean my gay awakening was an irl person so I don't know? I can't think of any rn 

2- Grilled cheese or PB&J? : Grilled cheese bc PB&J is gross just peanut butter and jelly are both good on their own but I don't like the way they taste combined 

3- What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? : Baking videos! Particularly the ones that have no voicover or any voice and you have to turn on the subtitles to know what ingredients they're using bc the words on the screen are in ankther language 

4- Your go-to bar order, if you drink? : chocolate milkshake no alcohol (the only time I've been to a bar that's what I ordered) 

5- What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? : My black tennis shoes, but they're really old and worn and I need new ones but I've been telling my parents for god knows how long and they don't give a shit 

6- Top three cuisines? : pfft cuisines I love that word its funny to me just I can't say it out loud without smiling or laughing anyway I guess shrimp fettuccine alfredo, medium rare steak, and fuggin uhhhhhh Danny Kids Cuisines

7- What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)?: I have no clue, I think my dad once said it was car or cat but they couldn't tell which 

8- What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?: I've never had a job really, I mean I volunteered at the library one summer but I think that's it 

9- Look up. What’s directly across from you? : A large bowl of pancake batter (I'm making pancakes rn) 

10- Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general?: I've got an Air Force flag signed by the Air Force basketball team from that one time we went to a game. I've also got a really old shirt with the sifnirure of a country singer who I've never heard of (I don't think she made it big) 

11- Preferred way to spend a rainy day? : Drawing. Raining tends to make me want to draw more! Also watching the Great British Baking Show 

12- What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted?: normally I don't eat bagels. But Nutella and almonds and bananas on a plain bagel is really good! Also does it mean like anything I want on a bagel? Because I will order $1M on a bagel and only eat the bagel and bam I'm rich it said ANYTHING so heck yeah it never said it has to be food 

13- Brunch or midnight snacks?: Ooh brunch! I love brunch. I've never had a midnight snack tho so I can't really say for sure. 

14- Favorite mug you own: my Coffee Mug 

Also say hi to Emrys he's helping me make dinner 

15- What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? : 3% coffee 96% sugar 1% baked beans 

16- Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!): "I've grown tired of this body" Body by Mother Mother 

17- Fruity or herbal teas? : Fruity I guess? I'm not a big fan of tea, but I've had this watermelon mint tea and added ice and a bunch of sugar and it was pretty good 

18- What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?:.... Sonic X (it was part of my childhood and I just really like the theme and I like it in general don't judge pls) 

19- That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying?: It wasn't a book we read as a glass but I think it was called the dragonfly something I dunno it was a while ago but it was really interesting 

20- Do you match your socks? Nope 

21- Have you ever been horseback riding?: I don't think so? 

22- What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc)- creepypasta everything. Every single thing. 

23- Have you ever been to jail?: nope

24- What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?: I don't have an opinion on them? Is there Lazy Susan discourse I don't know about 

25- Puzzles?: no hate them they can burn 

26- You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?: Apple juice I suppose? I don't drink much juice (I only really drink water, a little bit of coffee, and milk) 

27- What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore?: Fiction/Fantasy 

28- What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?: I'm trying to start sewing again! 

29- Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat?: none, I only listen to music at night and I'm not really upbeat then. 

30- Where could someone find you in a museum?: the exit (sorry I've never really enjoyed myself at museums) 

31- What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to?: None. I don't likem my clothes. All my dresses are too small minus like one. 

32- Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds?: Stars! I rarely get to see them. 

33- If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be?: Are ferrets rodents? I'd like a ferret I'd name it Malfoy

34- Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs?: Art for sure. I have no photographs on my walls, only my own paintings. 

35- You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go?: "Yeet" in cursive on my shoulder is area place thing 

36- Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with: none sorry I don't like superheros 

36- Lakes, rivers, or oceans?: Oceans!!!!!!!!! They're so pretty and blue and filled with fish and pretty and fun to swim in and salty and cold and nice and amazing I love the ocean I miss it 

38- Favorite mid-2000s song: I'm not sure, I don't keep track of when songs were released ;-;

39- How do you dress when you’re home alone?: Just my normal clothes. T-shirt and leggings or shorts. 

40- Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)?: The Corner Spot. My my brother keeps stealing it. 

41- Knives or swords?: Knives bc you can cut bread with them 

42- A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving:  Body by Mother Mother. Also Burning Pile. 

43- Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie: None we didn't have Djnsye when I was a kid 

44- Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?: Quote that relates to the photos? 

44- Name a classic Vine: Why you got a twelve car garage when you only got FIFTEEN CATS CUZ WE ALL JUST WANNA BE BIG RJCJSTARS 

46- What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?: I don't go to the store but probably ice cream 

47- How do you top your ice cream?: More Ice Cream 

48- Do you like Jello?: it's okay it's a bit odd tho 

49- What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did?: the time I slapped a guy in the face multiple times 

50- How are you at climbing trees?: I'm pretty good at it, I climbed trees a lot as a kid and I climbed one a few weeks ago and was like "woah I'm still good at this?" 

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 4 - A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Four rounds of sliders!

So, turns out I had the title of this movie wrong, it’s not just A Harold & Kumar Christmas, it’s a 3D Christmas! Which also answers the question of where we go from the second movie, apparently out goes all that racism and in comes just so, so many shots of things flying at the camera.

It’s 2011 by this point, have we not left all this in the past? Hell, they were doing this in House of Wax when I watched that last year and that was back in the 50’s. To their credit, they do poke fun at the whole 3D thing at times, like near the start Harold’s assistant brings in a big ass TV meant as a present for Harold’s father in law. Harold questions if the whole 3D thing hasn’t jumped the shark by now but his assistant disagrees, exclaiming that it’s going to be ‘amazing’ as he points down the camera for emphasis. Harold just dryly asks who he’s looking at.

Harold has been moving up in the world it seems, now a very successful businessman on Wall Street. Unfortunately this comes during the whole ‘Occupy Wallstreet’ movement and the streets outside his office is lined with protesters wanting to eat the rich. Perhaps with a side of eggs which they throw at him by way of the camera lens.

Like a good soldier though, his assistant steps into the line of fire and takes a barrage of eggs to the face. RIP in peace. They have this whole musical sting whilst it’s happening, I feel like this has to be referencing something but I’m not sure what, war movies aren’t my thing.

Harold’s father in law by the way is played by non other than Danny Trejo, which is a rather scary thought. Trying to impress the father in law is bad enough without factoring that into the equation. He’s predisposed to disliking Harold as well given that his mother was killed by a bunch of Korean street thugs when she came over to America.

We learn that in his youth, Mr Perez dreamed of celebrating Christmas with a Christmas tree but would never get his wish. It was only upon reaching America that his mother promised they would have one every year, only for his life to be cut short. That’s why he holds this season and Christmas trees in particular in such high esteem. We also learn that apparently he was born with his moustache, which honestly wouldn’t surprise me with Danny Trejo. Also, someone being viciously murdered by street thugs seems a bit dark for this franchise.

Speaking of facial hair, Kumar is still a layabout bum who got kicked out of medical school for failing a drugs test. I do dig the beard though. Vanessa has left him though and he lives in filth with a neighbor who rents out his bathroom to let homeless people take a shit. So yeah, little bit of a mismatch on how our two heroes lives panned out over the last 7 years. I’m digging the beard though, but he promptly shaves it off under the pretense of trying to finally mature somewhat when he finds out Vanessa is pregnant.

Although, he is a little distracted during this revelation by the unfolding scenes of A Christmas Story and Flick getting his tongue stuck to the flagpole. Clearly an Xbox man as well, seemingly playing some Crackdown and Gears of War recently. This isn’t like that time I kept seeing It’s A Wonderful Life everywhere, is it? I’m not going to start having A Christmas Story pop up in all these movies, am I?

H&K are reuinited for the first time in two years when a package turns up at Kumar’s apartment addressed to Harold, which turns out to be a massive joint. Kumar lights up, only for Harold to play narc and throw it out of the window. Miraciously though, it curves around and flies back in a different window, lighting up Mr Perez’s Christmas tree and nearly burning down the whole house. This only reinforces what a negative influence on Harold’s life Kumar is and it looks like our duo are going their separate ways again. But, this does give us our impetuous for another hour and a half of whacky shenanigans because if Harold doesn’t fix that tree, there’s a good chance Mr Perez might kill him.

So we get the odd foursome of Harold and his new white bread bestie, Todd (and his daughter) and Kumar and his neighbor, Adrian, out on the lookout for a tree. This does lead to perhaps the most racially driven portion of the movie as they head to a tree lot run by two African-American guys trying to do this ‘good cop, bad cop’ thing, the Fat Albert looking guy playing nice and the other wondering what a pair of honkey, cracker, white ass fools are doing coming up in their turf.

Turns out Mr Perez isn’t the only one out to kill Harold though, as the tree search takes them to a party by way of Adrian who has a hookup waiting for him that he met online. She’s a virgin because apparently all the guys at school are scared to go anywhere near her. Adrian realizes that’s because her dad is notorious Ukranian mobster Sergei Katsov. At first I thought this was Chris Meloni making his third outing in the series but no, it’s actually Elias Koteas who was Casey Jones in the Ninja Turtles movies.

After Adrian goes soft upon finding out this information, Mary will settle for anyone at this point and goes to start blowing Harold right in the middle of the party. An inopportune time then for Daddy to come home and find what looks like an Eiffel Tower situation going on.

Even after they barely escape though, the nightmare is far from over as they start tripping and think they’re in the middle of a multi storey evil snowman attack. And, this all takes place in claymation. This is a really awesome scene, the design of the snowman is great and the level of destruction going on is amazing.

I could do without Kumar showing off his clay cock though, I only dread to think how much worse this is in 3D with him waving it about in your face.

Luckily, old buddies Rosenberg and Goldstein are there to shake them out of their bad trip and take them to White Castle to relax. Man, they have a much easier time getting their this time. They’ve clearly learnt from their past experiences. Along with the whole 3D into the camera gimmick, the racism angle has been replaced somewhat with religion, notably here with a whole speech about how Goldstein’s wife had him convert to Christianity and him just going in on those ‘dirty Jew bastards’.

That and the use of his son as a distraction so Harold & Kumar can go steal a tree from a church. ‘Pillow fight in the altar boys room, last one there is a rotten egg!’. Going in on the Catholics as well, I see.

And of course, the big one, the main man JC. Apparently Heaven is like a nightclub and we get the story of how NPH was ushered in the front door following his altercation at the whore house. Only, Jesus didn’t take kindly to NPH macking on his ladies so put in a word to the big man upstairs to send NPH back down to Earth. I mean, it’s not 100% to the letter but I’ll take this as I fucking called it.

The third part of the trifecta of racism replacements in this movie is metaness. There’s a good example here how they call out NPH coming out of the closet in real life, only to reveal that NPH is as big of a poon hound as he’s ever been and this is all just a trick to get the ladies. David Burtka? He’s not his husband, he’s just his dealer!

There’s a couple of other moments like someone referring to Harold as ‘Sulu’ or Adrian saying he lied to Mary and said he was Robert Pattison’s acting coach and that Kumar worked in the White House.

NPH is starring in some big festive stage show and sweet talks one of the dancers back to his dressing room, suggesting she strip down so that he can give her a massage. Hey, it’s cool, we’re all girlfriends here, right? Now just give him a minute so he can squirt some of his special lotion on your back...

He hooks up H&K with a tree from the set but before they can head home, the gangsters catch up with them take them to a secluded part of town for an execution.

But as they make their escape, Harold finds his dick has become stuck to the pole they were tied to. Okay, firstly, between this and Office Chrstimas Party, I’ve seen just about enough dicks to last me til the end of the season. Secondly, maybe this is God’s way of reminding me that I have some unfinished business with A Christmas Story. Sure there was the original and that sequel no one asked for but there is another...

And just in case you forget this is a Christmas movie, Harold inadvertently shoots Santa out of the sky and Kumar has to perform impromptu surgery, because he always does. Santa being played by Richard Riehle who was in Grounded for Life and, relevant to this blog, Chillerama and the Rob Zombie Halloween II. Turns out he was the one who sent Harold the massive joint so that the two of them could reconcile. I never knew Santa cared so much about the friendship of two potheads. I don’t know if he’s a good fit for Santa though, a little too gruff and mean. Doesn’t have the heart of say, an Edmund Gwenn. That could have been an alternate way to do this actually, have a totally sacherine by the numbers Santa that gets corrupted by H&K when they get him to smoke with them, he’s on too much of a bad trip to deliver the toys like normal so it’s up to them to save the day.

I think I would have to put this above the sequel but behind the original in terms of quality. As one note and as fleeting an appearance as he is, the Ukranian gangster somehow feels more of a threat than the entire US government in the second film. Keeping this adventure local again makes it feel much more grounded and there’s just a more light hearted atmosphere to the whole thing when you don’t have that massively racist and oppressive tone pressing down on it.

#Christmas 2019 #Harold & Kumar #A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

[ofdanny]

mmmk so hi !! i’m taylor, i go by she/her pronouns, and i am very very excited to be here. my two muses are danny and todd and i’m not very good at these posts ?? and i also kind of don’t like them so lets just dive right into this, yay !!

HELLO my name is ( DANIEL HARTLEY ). people often mistake me for ( DYLAN O'BRIEN ). i find this very silly but people also tell me i’m ( EASY-GOING ) and ( APATHETIC ). i am born in ( MEDFORD, OREGON ) but i now live in ( SEATTLE, WASHINGTON ). if there’s one song that describes me the most it’d have to be ( WEEKEND by MAC MILLER ). — ( taylor, 19, est, she/her )

to say the least daniel was a surprise to his parents. they had no desire to have kids, but the only plus to him was that he just so happened to be a bouncing baby boy, and his father saw an opportunity to keep the company alive. as a child the only parental guidance he ever received was from his caregiver and homeschool teacher, ana— walking, potty training, puberty, his first kiss�� ana was there for him through all of it.

his parents never gave him much attention outside considering they were too busy living their best lives as one of the most well-loved power couples. of course, it hurt him but ana eased the pain. the only time he received any actual attention from his mother was when his father would be working late and little four-year-old danny would walk into his parents room to find his mom. she’d let him brush her long, dark hair, or sing to him when she was in an exceptionally good mood some nights, or listen to him play the piano ( which he was learning at the time ) — those few evenings are engraved in his mind, his love for his mother growing with every short-ended second he spent with her. 

when daniel was thirteen his father told him that he was the heir of the greatest company of all time. to a normal, tween kid this would have sounded like a dream. but daniel loathed even the thought of it.when he was sixteen when his mom left him and his dad without any warning, and the reason for her leaving…? danny has no clue. he wasn’t very involved with his parents when he grew past the age of eight. ana was all he needed to an extent. 

due to his mothers disappearance his father kind of went off the deep end— anger issues, drinking, sleeping with other women. the communications technologies company that his father owned held it’s own for the time being until his father got back on his feet. that’s also when they up and officially settled in new york rather than switching between oregon and new york. all of this would have left danny unphased until his father fired ana out of spite, merely because he saw daniel was fine while he was drowning in sorrow. that’s when things started to go south for hartley. 

he had started to resent his father, his mother, and this posh lifestyle. he started to fight with people in public places, affecting his fathers reputation. he blew off every other new teacher that came in to teach him ( even though, eventually, he finally let up and is learning about business— his fathers wishes, of course. ), and he practically formed an unhealthy habit of spiraling, using booze and alcohol to help drink himself into incoherence. the only thing that helps clear his head is when he plays the piano, and he plays it well considering he mastered it at a young age.

nowadays, his father has him attend meetings and consistently tries to convince him to embrace the wealth and the power he may gain one day, but the discussion always ends in one of them red-faced, steam coming out of their ears. as said before, daniel hates this lifestyle. he never asked for the riches or the power, and he certainly doesn’t want it. you’d think he’d want love and affection, but he’s gone without it for so long that he no longer has a the cravings for it. he has very little for friends, and he prefers to keep to himself. he will purposefully hurt your feelings if you don’t leave him alone when he wants you to, and he won’t think twice about verbally abusing you, hitting your insecurities and things of the sort.

long story short, daniel is 23 years old. he’s very sarcastic, very dead-pan, and if you catch him on a bad day? he’s not nice, and he’s very hard to get along with so good fucking luck loldanny came back to oregon because his father said ‘it’d be good for him to gain some perspective’, but in reality he knew his father just didn’t want to take the time off of work and the thought of coming back to the place where he and his mother were once still together is… catastrophic. daniel didn’t fight against his dad wishes to come to the cabin. although, he also hates how nostalgic the place is. all in all, danny is just here to it in a corner and drink tbh

WANTED CONNECTIONS  ;

long lost friends - he gets to the cabins and runs into someone who looks familiar. turns out it’s his old buddie from when he was just a tot !! and wow you’ve changed kind of and shit daniel you’re still a dick huh lol

drinking buddies - the pair always meet at the same time on the same day, unspokenly, and it slowly grows from causal bar talk from across the counter to them pouring their souls out to each other and laughing until they crY ok how cute i stan

frenemies - the typical banter on these two is expected from everyone around, and at times they may cross the line with their horrid words and degrading insults but in the end they always result to tough love. but, god forbid one of them get’s too mushy with the other… they’d never live it down.

twisted - as toxic as they seem the pair always seem to end up together… in bed… naked. they are so wrong for each other that anybody could take one look at them and know that they wouldn’t last a day. but, somehow, they always manage to sex it out with no strings attached despite the screaming and the infuriating words they say to one another. they are perfectly wrong for each other and they both hate and love it at the same time. but how much longer can they keep this up…?  

HELLO my name is ( TODDERIC TENNER ). people often mistake me for ( THEO JAMES ). i find this very silly but people also tell me i’m ( AFFABLE ) and ( MANIPULATIVE ). i am born in ( MEDFORD, OREGON ) but i now live in ( NAPA, CALIFORNIA ). if there’s one song that describes me the most it’d have to be ( VOICES IN MY HEAD / STICK TO THE PLAN by BIG SEAN ). — ( taylor, 19, est, she/her )

when todd was pretty young he moved from foster house to foster house pretty much until his adopted father found him ( more on that later ). the story is that as a baby, todd was left at child services doorstep so tbh no one has a clUe who his parents are. • his history is the typical sob story of hating every home he moved to bc the people who took him in didn't want him in their home bc he was too problematic  and a "bad influence on their other children". he was just a very angry kid honestly • all that being said, when he was 15 he left the family he was supposed to stay with for another week or so but he honestly couldn't take being around that family anymore so he packed his backpack with the three pieces of clothes he had and left. he didn't know where he was going but when he turned into a dark alley he found two men beating and stomping another man nearly to death. like any kid with the least bit of common sense he turned around and legged it only to run into what felt like a wall but was a man three times his height.

long story short they dragged him back to their headquarters and pondered on whether or not they should just kill him or let him stick around. the man who was three times his height spoke up and they decided to keep him to help with operations.

all in all, Todd was adopted into this huge ass drug industry and was adopted by the super tall man who turned out to be basically this really big drug lord who wanted a son and found one yay !!

so todd basically learned how to lie, scheme, steal, fight, intimidate... pretty much a bunch of negative traits and he was great at it. he didn't like it but he simply did as he was told.

todd's now 27 and on a job that was supposed to be an easy pick up and dip out but it turned out to be a fucked drop bc the feds came and they caught todd and he was immediately put in prison but they soon let him out because they somehow could pin any hard evidence against him so he's now a free man rip

after that whole shabang todd took it upon himself to ditch the whole gang lifestyle and create a life for himself. he got on a bus and hit the road from oregon to california, using the money he made and saved from the past jobs to buy himself a comfortable house in napa and now he sells wine :)

he figured his old gang would come for him but they haven't yet and he isn't going to complain about it either. he's keeling his head low and staying quiet for the time being.

in reference to coming back to oregon is interesting bc after settling down in napa he went on a search for his parents only to find out that his father died in a car crash ten years back and his mother supposedly passed with him too, but they never found the body.

his father had a will written out though and in it stated that there was a house oregon that was left for todd and with it was a note with a simple apology, that hardly explained anything about why they abandoned todd and who they were, and an address that belonged to the cabins

todd is only here to find more information on his parents and history. ( wanted connection: maybe someone who knew his parents ? maybe someone else's parents knew his parents, recognized the name and "i'm so sorry for your loss...."

now his personality? he seems like a typical guy. he keeps to himself most of the time. since he's on a mission to find information he won't be afraid to use someone to get what he wants. if you get in his way he'll find a way around you or a way to move you. simple as that.

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

roomies - todd and his roommate soon become acquaintances but it’s open for pretty much anything ? todd doesn’t truat anyone so maybe they sOMehow gain his trust and he lets them help find clues or information ? idk lets talk omg

use me - they’re friends but then again they’re not. lovers? yes and no. either way, the sex is great and when either is feeling stressed or sad or whatever the feeling, they text / call each other up and “my place or yours?”

you knew my parents ...?! ( this could potentially include multiple muses !! ) - todd is only here by chance and he is desperate to know who his parents were. one would think finding information would be hard, but the minute he mutters “tenner.” at check-in, some stranger places their hand on his back and whispers “i’m so sorry for your loss...”

  okay !! so this is very general and informal i'm sorry if it wasn't clear ?? if you have any questions or anything of the sort please feel free to ask !! ask me anything pls ill spill my guts to you. also i may be adding more wanted connections over time so please click here just in case i add more mmmk. again, ( i’ll keep saying this ) i’m thrilled to be here h2gkmo

#hi i'm out rn rip but i will be home soon !! #oregonhq: ooc #this is super long btw

[devilofmidtownwest]

Just sending in my thoughts on the show, not trying to start any arguments. So I actually found iron fist really enjoyable. I know it wasn't perfect and maybe I just found it better because I needed my superhero fix, but I am surprised to see how much hate it gets. I still think it was the worst out of all of the other Netflix marvel shows but I didn't think it was that bad. What are your main reasons for hating it?

I’m glad some people are coming forward and saying they liked it! I generally wish the Marvel Netflix universe well. I really wanted to like Iron Fist. I had some faith that, based on how well they did the other shows, they would handle some pretty dated and racist material and give it a real update to reflect modern sensibilities, but alas, no.

(1) Iron Fist follows the “white savior” trope to the fullest extent. Danny Rand goes Asia, then a magical kingdom in a magical Asian dimension, and not only becomes a fighter, but becomes THE BEST fighter, better than all of the natives. And then he literally STEALS a superpower from their tradition (the show implies pretty heavily that he was not supposed to be the Iron Fist) and uses it to beat them up. That’s hardcore “white people are better than Asians, even at Asian stuff” right there.

(2) Danny Rand claimed to be a Buddhist monk but he knew literally nothing about Buddhism. I don’t think anything he said was actually Buddhist. In fact, many things he said were contrary to Buddhist teachings. (And he pronounced “Om Mani Padme Hung” really wrong) The writers did absolutely no research on Buddhism - oranges don’t represent forgiveness, and Buddhist monks can’t even wear green. They also can’t fight people in anger, but you know, you’re going to have some of that with a kung fu show.

(3) Speaking of kung fu, the fight choreography was really, really bad. I would have been less annoyed by it if the Marvel Netflix hadn’t specifically made a name for themselves with their outstanding fight choreography. The actor playing Danny Rand was clearly not up to the task and/or given enough prep time, and they couldn’t rely on a stunt double because his face was uncovered, so it was pretty easy to tell that just about everyone he was fighting - many of whom were chosen for their roles for their martial arts skills - was better than him. And this is specifically Iron Fist’s thing, being a kung fu master. It’s what he was sold as in the comics; it’s part of his charm. It’s kinda like not making Luke Cage strong or bulletproof?

(4) The total conflation of Asian cultures. Colleen Wing, a Chinese woman, placed by a Chinese actress, wielding a Japanese sword and raised by the Hand, who adhere to a very vague Japanese honor code, but the Hand (at least the people that Danny visited on that campus) doesn’t seem to contain many Japanese people. Even the other scripted Asian, Davos, wasn’t played by an Asian guy. The showrunners just took whatever they wanted from wherever they wanted to make their script go, without paying any attention to the cultural sensitivities of that part of the world, which is why I can’t even get my Asian-American fans to watch it. Like they have seen every other Marvel show and movie and they are just skipping right over this one.

(5) Oh, and having an old Chinese woman as a tea-drinking opium dealer is pretty racist, too. But I like Madame Gao so much I’m willing to forgive. Except for that scene in Daredevil where she was ALSO running a laundromat, painting cherry blossoms, because someone was just ticking off racist boxes?

(6) The non-mystical part of the plot was super duper boring. It’s not hard to make problems of the 1% (as Iron Fist was pitched in certain promotions) interesting; people do it all the time. Americans love to see rich people get taken down a peg and we love office dramas. But G-ddamn did I not care who was running Rand Industries. Danny was super obsessed with it because either the plot demanded it or he wanted to be super rich, which is not exactly a lovable character trait. He associated his dad with a company that makes dangerous chemicals? Doesn’t sound like he and his dad had much of a relationship. Seeing him act like a totally unqualified CEO who doesn’t know anything about his own business was kind of fun, but most of it was about stakeholding and shares and company protocol and didn’t make a whole lot of sense. I found it hard to care about a guy who is offered 25 million dollars to go away and thinks it’s nobler to stick around to try and get more money. I’ve never been offered 25 million dollars to sit around and do nothing. I would very much like to be offered ANY amount of money to sit around and do nothing. It made Danny act like a whiny, greedy asshole, which I could understand if he had just come out of a monastery and got really seduced by the material pleasures of life (which happens to a LOT of ex-monks), but he was just right out of the gate, “This company is mine and I want it.”

(7) Danny was a creepy stalker who should have left Colleen alone. Walking in with dinner? Buying her building? Do you know how freaked out I would be if this guy I couldn’t get rid of was now my landlord? Because I would be VERY freaked out. I would probably get a restraining order. But then we learn that, contrary to the way she’s been acting, she’s cozying up to him because of the Hand? Maybe? I’m super confused but that doesn’t make him any less creepy.

(8) There are very specific laws about 72-hour holds and how psychiatrists operate. Considering not one but two characters’ fortunes hinged on it, you would have thought somebody would have looked this stuff up.

(9) Holy shit, the Hand has a cure to opium addiction? Dude Ward you make pharmaceuticals!?! How is this never mentioned again?

(10) The acting was not spectacular. Most of the main characters were having a trouble holding down their British/Kiwi accents, which kind of made them sound like they were from nowhere. Certainly not New York. It wasn’t so much of a problem until real actors showed up, like Rosario Dawson or Carrie Fisher Anne Moss, and you were like, “Oh, that’s how you sell a ridiculous line.” I actually didn’t enjoy Claire too much because she really outshone her co-stars, and her “why the fuck are we doing this stupid plan” question didn’t get answered.

(11) This whole show seemed very much like a rush job. A lot of care and devotion went into the previous shows. You could tell that the showrunners were deeply versed not only in the mythology of the shows but also some parts of them were visual masterpieces with their use of color and framing to resemble comic panels. They had plotlines that developed and ended. Characters grew. They had a reason for being there. You could tell what they were about and where they were going. Iron Fist was a visually uninteresting show that spent 13 hours setting up the Hand plotline in the Defenders, a plotline that already ruined the second half of Daredevil season 2. It wasn’t a show about the Iron Fist. We didn’t learn what the Iron Fist was, or what he was supposed to do, or why he wasn’t doing it. He didn’t seem to know himself, but the fact that he became the Iron Fist without knowing what the hell the Iron Fist is supposed to do wasn’t a plot that was explored, even though it could have been a really interesting one. He just told everyone what he was over and over again, as if somebody in the room forgot, and never supplied any explanation because he didn’t seem to have any information. This is not mythology building. This is just killing time until the plot comes along.

(12) Oh yeah, and Danny struck a black kid and called him a monkey. Let’s not forget that shit.

[artificialqueens]

New Man Pt. 2 - Fucking Awful.

A/N: THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR KIND FEEDBACK! I am so appreciative that you took the time to read Part 1 of “New Man” and glad to hear you enjoyed it. You all make my little Grinch heart grow 10 sizes.

Here is Part 2 – I know I promised fluff and happiness, but the story took me in a different direction for this chapter. That said, this is Part 2/?? and if you bear with my I promise to take you to the Promised Land of kisses and glitter. Darkness before the dawn, right? 

A good chunk of this is flashback/Roy recounting how we got here, so not as much forward movement as background. Hope you don’t mind some heavy-handed exposition…

Last 2 things – I’m seeing what happens if I switch into Roy’s POV, because I like the narrative structure flipping back and forth between the 2. Would love to get feedback on that, and happy to adapt the structure to one POV or the other if you have strong feelings. AND THIS IS A LONG ONE, sorry if 3K words is brutal.

Thanks for readying, y’all are the real MVPs.

This was going really fucking great.

That was the only thing running through Roy’s mind as he felt Danny smile underneath his kiss. In the 4 hours he’d been in Seattle he thought he had totally screwed up his plan, but somehow things had gotten back on track. Clearly this was meant to –

And then Danny broke away. Suddenly, roughly. Ripping is lips away and pushing off with surprising force. Roy stumbled back a few paces as both men caught their breath.

“No. This is…you’re…no.” Danny picked up the lighter he’d dropped in the heat of the moment, still muttering to himself just low enough that Roy couldn’t hear. Then he grabbed Roy by the forearm and dragged him back into the bar – again, sudden and rough. Roy couldn’t help but giggle just a tiny bit, thinking how ridiculous Danny must look hauling a 40-year-old man off like a misbehaving toddler.

“This isn’t funny, man. What was…ugh!” Throwing his hands off dramatically, Danny let go and continued back to their friends. Shit, the kid was really frustrated and probably even a little mad. Roy steeled himself from the drunken giggles, rejoining the table a few seconds behind.

He was thankful that the crew didn’t acknowledge anything that had just happened – the benefit of drunk friends, amiright? Roy eased back into the group conversation, light chatter about who totally saw the ending coming on Westworld or what memes would make the best protest t-shirts. He took every opportunity to steal an unnoticed look at Danny, who was half participating in the discussion and half furiously clicking at his phone. In his cross-faded fog, Roy couldn’t tell what the kid was doing. Grindr? Writing a novel? Playing Bejeweled – that was still a thing, right?

His stealth staring mission was clearly a failure, though, evidenced by the sharp kick of Jinkx’s boot on his shin.

“OH what the fuck Jinkx?!” Curiosity became shooting pain as Roy clutched for his leg underneath the table.

“Sorry Roy, clumsy as ever! Let me grab you a drink, dull the pain. Come with me to the bar?” The redhead emphasized the last request with Uzo Aduba-level crazy eyes. This was not a request, and while Jinkx didn’t intimidate Roy he was too fuzzy to fight.

“Sure, queen. Somebody has to make sure you don’t drop the booze.” Oof, his snapbacks were weak tonight. The two left the table and headed to see Todd at the bar.

“I’ll take a –“

“Oh no, you’ll have a water. Todd, water for Bianca del Drunko. I’ll take a few shots of Jack for the table, and Ginger backs.” Roy pouted and raised an eyebrow, sorting through his Rolodex of Hate for a quippy insult about ginger and redheads and minj, but finding his speed dulled a bit by the smoke and alcohol.

Jinkx turned back to him. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you right now but get it together. Jesus, del Rio, you’re supposed to be the mature one. The rest of us get to fuck things up. Just drink your water and mellow out for a minute.” The redhead knew about Roy’s plan, his oh-so-secret plan to use this weekend to woo Danny, and could tell he was putting it at risk.

“Alright, alright Jinkx. Don’t get so worked up you fall asleep on me.”

The joke fell flat. “You can do better than that.”

“Damn straight I can. You –“

For what had to be the millionth time that night, Roy was interrupted. This time by his phone, pinging with a text – from Danny. Roy looked over to the table to see what was going on, but all he saw was the kid deep in conversation and finally ignoring his phone. Roy swiped to open…

Danny: What the hell, Roy? I know we haven’t gotten to see much of each other since I moved up here, but something is different about you and it’s really fucked. You’ve been acting like a bit of a cunt the last few weeks, you hardly call me or Shane or even your mom anymore, and now you’re here doing everything you can to cheat on your boyfriend? With strangers, with me…This isn’t you, and if it is then I’m not sure I know you anymore.

Roy scanned the text eight more times before throwing his phone down on the bar. Jinkx didn’t flinch, too occupied flirting with one of the cute bartenders. Seizing the moment, Roy grabbed the three shots of Jack the guy had poured and knocked them back in quick succession. It wasn’t until the slam of the last shot glass onto the bar that the redhead looked up, just in time to see Roy storming for the exit.

As he stood out on the curb, trying desperately to get an Uber with his now smashed up phone, there was only one thing running through Roy’s mind:

This was going really fucking awful.

—

Roy woke up suddenly, eyes snapping open to his unfamiliar hotel room lit by dawn creeping through haphazardly closed curtains. He rolled over to look at the clock – 5:12am. It figures, Roy was never one to sleep off a night of drinking. While most people spent the next day wrapped in blankets and sleeping like a rock until at least 11am, he always seemed to be yanked out of slumber after only a few hours of restless shut-eye. Sometime between 5am and 6am he would be awake, mind reeling and trying unsuccessfully to will himself back to sleep until the headache went away.

This morning was no different – only the pain was so, so much worse. Sure, he used three shots of whiskey to put an exclamation mark on a night of heavy drinking, but the pain that was nagging him most was emotional. Roy grabbed for his phone – oh right, it was smashed to shit by angry Bianca last night – and re-read Danny’s text. He was hit by a sudden wave of nausea, a feeling that made him want to cry as it made him want to vomit. He grabbed a bottle of water from the minibar, charge be damned, and chugged the whole thing has he tried to figure out how the hell he had screwed this up so badly.

—

His plan was never *simple*, but that wouldn’t be Roy’s style. As Bob had frequently told him, he was a “lover of complexity” and couldn’t help himself. The plan to woo Danny was no different.

To say he cooked this up when he caught Sky sleeping with one of his personal training clients 2 weeks ago was only half right. Roy had actually planned to spend the three months off between the US and UK legs of Not Today Satan to finally make a play for Danny, but bitch moved to Seattle before he could make any of the many grand gestures he’d cooked up. In the first few weeks after Danny left, when the kid’s social media had been flooded with posts about how much he loved Seattle and the people, Roy hit a real low point. Jealous, exhausted, and feeling quite sorry for himself, he met Sky in a bar and hooked up with him a few times before falling into an effortless relationship.

Effortless not in the good sense of the word, though; effortless in the sense that Roy put in literally no effort, and didn’t care to make it work. The guy was named SKY after all – Roy could barely believe he’d been able to fuck a guy named Sky for 2 whole months, but he supposed the abs helped. Sky was just a nice distraction, a pretty shiny toy to brag about when he needed to overcompensate in conversations with Danny and Shane…which had quickly become all the time. He learned a hot, rich boyfriend is a great way to deflect questions about himself or his wellbeing. The new man, combined with dialing the bitchiness up to 11, was like armor; helpful in denying to himself and the outside world that he was not in a good place.

But when Roy walked in on Sky with his 2pm-Tuesdays balls deep in his ass, he resolved that even in his lowest moments he had the self-respect not to date a cheater. So he cut if off with Sky and 20 minutes later booked a 2 week trip to Seattle. Time to put the Noriega-Haylock plan back in action, for the thousandth time in 4 years.

This time, Roy would show Danny how perfect and the right kind of effortless they could be. He would breeze into town – but let’s be real, Roy never breezes – and seamlessly integrate himself into the Seattle version of Danny’s life. He would meet the new friends, support him at all his local shows, become a member at the EMP…hell he’d even buy a few flannels and a beanie. At the same time, Roy would make his feelings for Danny abundantly clear. He was confident that Danny reciprocated them; he knew it in his heart, but he also knew because Danny had told him on more than one occasion. Three times over the course of their friendship Danny had been the fearless one and professed his love for Roy. Ok, so maybe fearless is the wrong word – the drunk and cross-faded one may be a more apt description – but the point was that Roy knew Danny wanted this as much as he did. He felt it in his soul, his mind, every fiber of his body. Now it was time to make it real.

After booking the flights, he called Dela to layout his plan. He knew he needed a confidante in this, and it wouldn’t be fair to Shane to put him in the middle of this.

“B, I’m really glad you’re finally taking the plunge with Danny. It’s been too long coming. But you realize you have 2 big problems, right?” Ben was his always-enthusiastic self, but had some concerns. “You still aren’t solving the long-distance and time problem you’ve always been worried about.”

“We’ll find a way to work through it. I have to stop using that as an excuse to not give this a chance.”

“Very big of you, and I agree. But, uh, the second thing – don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Well, funny story – no. That was always a waste of my time – c’mon, his name was SKY – and I caught him getting fucked by a bear about an hour ago.”

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry! Are you ok? Are you alone?” Ben launched into caregiver mode, instantly making Roy uncomfortable.

“No, Ben I’m really fine. It was not –“

“I know Michelle’s in town, she’s always my breakup guru, maybe you should –“

Fuck. Roy realized a major problem. If he announced to his friends (and social media, shit) that he and his new man had broken up, his life would become an endless barrage of sympathy. Everything he’d done to ward off questions about the bags under his tired eyes, the increasingly infrequent and short calls to friends and family, and the mess in his usually tidy life would crumble. Roy couldn’t have that – he was fine, he was the caretaker for everyone else, and he couldn’t stand people to fuss over his well-being.

It was in that moment that he made the decision that made the plan *complex* - “Ben, stop. I’m fine, really I’m ok. Peachy fucking keen. But can I ask one favor of you? One tiny thing and I’ll name my next dog after you?”

“Anything, dear.”

“Do not – and I repeat, do NOT – tell anyone that Sky and I broke up.”

“What?” Ben was confused, understandably.

“I don’t want to deal with all of these conversations about it, and the only person who really needs to know right now is Danny. I’ll tell him in person when I’m in Seattle, please just keep quiet about it until then.”

“I’m not sure that’s the best…”

“Please, Dela. Just let me do this my way?”

After a long pause – “Ok, alright, sure. Let me go on record saying I don’t think that’s a healthy way to handle this.”

“Dually noted, Judge Judy. Thank you, I appreciate it.” Roy hung up with Dela and began crafting his “casual” message to Danny to tell him he’d be in town. Mid-way through the 5th round of editing, his phone rang: Jinkx.

“Hey Jinkx, can I call you back I –“

“Are you an idiot? I mean really, are the blonde wigs affecting your brain?” Jinkx steamrolled him.

“Excuse me?” “Dela is on with me – I know what you’re coming to Seattle to do –“

“Well now it’s to come cut up that bitch Dela’s wigs. I asked you one thing, you little fruit fly –“ “Sorry Roy, I –“

“Don’t apologize, Ben. He was right to tell me, he’s going to be out of town when you get here and someone has to help you not screw this up. I know we can’t talk you out of it, but at least let us try to support you. This is big risk, big reward, and it could – you’re going to need wing-people.”

Roy knew there was no point in fighting. As good natured as Jinkx was, bitch was aggressive. If we wanted to help, goddammit he was going to help. With a sigh – “Ok, you’re in on this. Great. But please let me handle this they way I want to – I need to. Danny and I are endgame to a long, long story and I have to do this the way I feel is right. If this gets out beyond the two of you, I will call Darienne and Roxxxy so that those shady elephants can trample you. Is that clear?”

“Sure, whatever you say.” Jinkx scoffed.

Ben soothed. “What Jinkx means to say, Roy, is we are here for you and support you. We are so happy you’re finally going after what we’ve all seen for years.”

“Yes, all that.” Jinkx reassured. “And I promise I won’t let you fuck it up.”

Roy laughed. “Gee, thanks.” Now, with less sarcasm – “I do actually appreciate it. But I think I got this.”

It was Jinkx’s turn for sarcasm. “Uh huh, sure.”

—

It did not bring Roy any joy to have proven Jinkx right. Again, he felt nauseous.

He had basically blown his chance with Danny on the first night but if he was being honest the mistakes started long before. The sexting. See, Roy refused to tell anyone else – not Shane, not Detox, nobody – about his breakup with Sky. That meant a lot of nights alone before his trip to Seattle, pretending to be busy to avoid having to be avoidant. That also meant a lot of solo wine nights, which somehow quickly devolved into sending dirty texts – so, so many dirty texts – to Danny. Now that he was committing to his pursuit, the fact that his every sexual fantasy had the same male lead was not something Drunk Roy felt the need to hide. At some point every night, his filter would disappear and he’d send Danny a (he thought) beautifully written description of the patterns he wanted to draw across his body with his tongue, the ways in which he wanted to tie up and be tied, the rhythms he wanted to pound into him, etc.

That Danny did not respond to these texts or bring them up in their regular conversations was a little confusing to Roy, but he was glad for it. He figured Danny just read them when he was equally pissed drunk – he knew he deleted messages as he read them – and forgot about it. At least that’s what he hoped, so that there could be some element of surprise in his plan. But seeing Danny’s reaction to the kiss and everything after, Roy understood he was wrong. It seemed like Danny was actually mad about it – not a reaction he had expected.

And then there was the bar – for that, Roy couldn’t muster an explanation or an excuse. He knew that he did this. During times of high anxiety and stress, Roy makes terrible decisions when he drinks. He tried for years to understand how or why, but for some reason worry plus whiskey turns him into a bad idea machine. This wasn’t the first time the same combination ended with him lip-locked (or worse) with a stranger that he later regretted. He should’ve just kept it low-key last night, not drinking much if at all so that he could play it cool with Danny. But nerves got the best of Roy, and from the moment he got on the plane he’d been building a buzz. By the time he got to the bar he was browning out, and he barely remembered how he ended up cuddled up with this random guy.

It wasn’t until Danny started singing that damn song that Roy realized what was going on. Immediately he was horrified – it looked like he was cheating on his boyfriend. Not only did he ignore the love of his life when he had flown to Seattle to see him, but he also appeared to be committing Danny’s #1 cardinal unforgivable sin. He immediately stood up and left the stranger’s table, and rejoined his so-called friends – What the fuck, why didn’t Jinkx stop him? What kind of wing-person was that? Roy sat for a few minutes, half seething and half feeling like he was actually going to die of embarrassment and sadness. When he saw Danny get up to leave, he jumped at the chance to catch him outside and apologize.

And yet – again, with the good ideas from Drunk Roy – instead of apologizing he found himself aggressively accosting Danny before going in for the kiss he’d dreamed about for years. And for just a few seconds, Roy thought everything was going to be ok. He thought that despite all his mistakes today, the last two weeks, the last few years…he thought he’d finally gotten it right. But we all saw how that ended…

—

Finished with a second bottle of water now, Roy emerged from his self reflective daze. He stared at the text from Danny hoping against all hope that he would feel better and last night could be erased and that he could save him and Danny. But when he looked down at the message for the thousandth time, he had to choke back searing tears.

I’m not sure I know you anymore.

“Sometimes I don’t think I know me anymore either, kid.” He muttered. He rifled through is bag to find some Benadryl – the only way he can sleep some days – and popped two of the pink pills before rolling back to bed. “But I’ll make this right. God and Joan Rivers help me, we’re gonna do this.”

Roy couldn’t fix anything now, so at least he could try to sleep.  

—

[End of Part 2]

#bianca del rio #adore delano #jinkx monsoon #bendelacreme #biadore #angst #tw cheating #tw depression #rpdr fanfiction #submission #new man #fucking awful #canon compliant

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom