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#DON'T BE WAFFLY
jukeboxhound · 2 years
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The number of times I'll ask an intern about their upcoming schedules so I know what to expect for my own schedule and they'll be like, "But I mean, if you really need me to come in more than that...."
Stop! Protect that boundary! Tell us no! Nonprofit culture can be just as toxic as corporate culture but more insidious because it dresses up its labor exploitation as ~charitable~ and ~humanitarian~! Oh, but we do this work because we care....no, we do this work because it's an emergency stopgap measure on an unjust system that's inevitably going to crash and burn! This work will absolutely take advantage of the kindness in your heart and drain you until all that's left is bitterness and cynicism.
Anyway, if you're a volunteer in social services or whatever, don't give us the inch we need to drag a mile out of you.
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kpopnstarwars · 9 days
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Stray: Lee Dokyeom x Cat Hybrid!Reader
A/N: so there are a lot of hybrid AUs out there where the members are the hybrids but it got me thinking about dk with cat hybrid reader (i heard dk was allergic but dw i got it covered)
tw: 18+ because of eventual smut, swearing, hybrids are not treated well by society, a bit of trauma from reader being treated badly, reader doesn't have a home or food at the beginning, reader is extremely emotionally repressed whoops, mentions of death + starving, not really slow burn it's just long and has weird pacing because i refuse to cut out some bits, dk is a huge ball of sunshine, it starts off waffly but gets sm better i promise, cheating and breakup (not dk and reader),
wc: 11.7k (oops)
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you'd had your dealings with humans, and most weren't pleasant
as a hybrid, you didn't fully belong with cats or humans
the latter often thought you were inferior, and treated you as much
you find your fully cat form is much more agreeable to your human form with ears - it feels less obvious that way, even though normal cats can smell that you're a hybrid
still, the world isn't kind, and you don't have a home
you'd stood up for yourself at your last job - a secretary in a huge office block - pointing out that you got a much lower salary than the comparable human employees, and had been promptly fired
briefly, a human couple had taken you in, but once they realised you were a hybrid, they kicked you out
which leaves you where you are now, wishing that you were just one or the other and not both
the winter is especially harsh this year, and your soft coat, matted from too many days on the streets, doesn't do much to keep out the cold
the wind is cutting, and you find yourself slinking through the back gardens of some low rise flats, wondering if anyone will spot you and think you're just a stray cat
you can't believe you're stooping this low, but you'd rather this than death by frostbite
like hell you're just going to give up now
it's not like you'd stay permanently without the home owners knowing you're a hybrid, anyway - you know how that ended last time
the muffled sound of laughter floats towards you, and you scale a fence, following the noises until you make your way into a rather overgrown garden
warm light spills through the glass doors, and you curl up on the patio, at the edge of the beam cast by the full kitchen
by full, you mean full
there must be over ten guys in there, all crammed shoulder to shoulder around the dining table, laughing raucously
they're all human, from what you can tell
you can feel a bit of the warmth seeping out from the miniature crack under the door, but before you dare inch forward, further into the light, one of them turns around
he's got a sweet face, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he laughs at one of his friend's jokes
the hackles on your back rise as you feel his gaze on you
you've learnt that when humans smile it doesn't always mean they're good people
retreating quickly, you find yourself thankful for the crowded garden, slinking behind a bush to get out of sight
you immediately feel the lack of warmth, the laughter more muffled from here
for some reason, an empty feeling wells up inside you, like you lost something
like you strayed from the path of your destiny
but deep inside you, the survival instincts tug you away from the warm kitchen and the warm smiles
those instincts haven't failed you yet, so why would they fail you now?
however, despite your so called survival instincts, you find yourself in the same garden a week later
again
you'd visited a few times, but they didn't really count, because all you did was peer furtively over the fence, ears swivelling vigilantly
you'd caught sight of the guy who spotted you before, peering outside and frowning
you assume he's the one who owns the bottom floor flat
you hope he was wondering if he should get his garden in order, because if he was, you whole heartedly agree - you almost poked yourself on the brambles a few times
right now, the Guy is washing up, his sleeves rolled up and his hair a bit of a mess, elbow deep in the soapy sink water
his glasses keep falling down his nose
the kitchen lights are on - it's almost dark, and the night's chill is creeping further into your bones
it's been so long since you've been inside that you find indoor lights kind of... mesmerising
it might seem strange, but you almost crave the fake yellow light the light bulbs give off
the Guy suddenly stops washing up and you almost fall off the back fence that you're perched on, thinking he's seen you
then he bobs his head in time to a beat you can't hear while busting out some quite respectable dance moves, and you realise he's just listening to music
it must be some pretty good music - now he's singing, and you can hear it faintly
wow, he's good
he also looks pretty engrossed
that's your queue; you jump down from the back fence, your paws pattering against the frosty patio as you approach
there's something that always draws you back here
and it's not just because of the warm air radiating from his badly insulated flat
still, you're wary - he might seem friendly, and you might feel a certain pull towards him, but that doesn't mean anything
lots of things have felt right that weren't
you're not making any mistakes this time
you're tired of being mistreated because you're a hybrid, and tired of being seen as a pet and not a person
never mind if this ends with the Guy feeding you caviar some cats could only dream of, if he looks at you funny, you're not going to even set foot in his mess of a garden again
with that thought, you curl up beside the glass door, happy to bask in the lingering warmth from the kitchen and enjoy the artificial light
turning your head, you peer at the Guy over the lip of the door
his shoulders are turned in your general direction, but he's looking studiously at the dishes in the sink, shimmying his shoulders and tapping his foot along to the rhythm of the music, so you decide to stay a little longer
that's when the grey clouds coalescing above you decide to start snowing
you feel the fur on your sides fluff up in response, and you wrap your tail around your paws, edging an inch closer to the door
the air is bitingly cold, and you wonder if you'll make it through the night if the snow settles
you haven't eaten a real meal in ages, and you're suddenly aware that it means your poor little cat body has even less insulation
you're certain that if you don't find shelter soon, tonight will be your last
but do you really want to seek help from some random human?
it's ended badly before, but you know it could have ended worse
you won't let that happen again
abruptly, you stand up, tail lashing in irritation at yourself - like hell you're going to come crawling into some human's home, ears pinned back like you need their help
it's not your fault you were born a fucking hybrid
you're halfway down the patio when a warm gust of air blasts down your spine
you wonder if hallucinating heat is an early symptom of hypothermia but continue resolutely making your way towards the back fence
'hey,'
you whip around, a snarl half forming on your face in shock, but it's just the Guy
he leans in the doorway, a smile on his face and his eyes sparkling
'you can come in, if you want.'
the warmth coming from inside his flat is absolute bliss
you're a metre away from the open door, but you can feel your bones defrosting, and you know however hard you try, you can't leave now
not now that he's offered
not when his kind smile triggers not zero, but minus one alarm bells in your head
you approach but hesitate, knowing you're being too quick to give in - he doesn't know you're a hybrid, and you don't know if he's secretly evil and plans to skin you as soon as you step through the door
just to be safe, you stop just out of kicking distance, staring up at him quizzically
surely, he wouldn't voluntarily let a hybrid into his house - you're much more expensive to look after than pets, because you'd basically be another human in the house who can't earn enough to pay bills
you're considering backing out, even with that delicious heat emnating from his kitchen, when he moves to the side so you have a clear path in
your eyes widen a little
you feel like he's being too nice
he laughs a little at your indecision, squatting down so he looks smaller and less intimidating
'come on. i know it must be way too cold out there. i'll let you out whenever you want to leave, if that's what you want.'
that's the final straw
you step over the threshold and bolt
you're not even sure where you're going, but you swerve away from a room where there are clothes strewn over a chair and the desk filled with clutter - that's definitely his bedroom
the only other room that isn't the bathroom or the kitchen is a dusty room full of cardboard boxes and a bed with no sheets on it
a guest room, you assume
flattening yourself against the floor, you crawl under the bed
quickly, you tuck yourself behind one of the boxes which had been artfully stuffed underneath the bed
once you're settled, it occurs to you that that was frankly rude of you
the Guy let you into his flat, and the first thing you do is sprint past him and invade his guest room
but then again, he probably thinks you're just some feral cat who he saved from becoming a feline icicle, so your behaviour would make sense
you tense when you hear footsteps pass the door, but he doesn't come in, just walks into what you assume is the bathroom
a few minutes later, you hear the shower turn on, and you relax a little more
maybe he'll let you be for now
curling your tail over your nose to stop yourself from snorting in the ridiculous amounts of dust under the bed, you wedge yourself further behind the box and close your eyes
it's amazingly warm in the Guy's flat, you'll give him that
warm enough that despite the hunger that's been gnawing at your stomach for the past week, you find yourself falling into a sleep deeper than you've been able to reach for ages
you'll get to sorting out the details of your little invasion of his flat in the morning
for now, you're happy to sleep
when you wake up, he's gone
understandably, though - he must work pretty hard to afford a nice-ish flat like this, and it is also twelve noon
unfortunately, he doesn't appear to have any cat flaps, so that means you'll have to momentarily shift into your very naked human form to let yourself out the back door
you wonder if you should check in his fridge if he's got anything to eat, but then you decide against it - he's already given you a place to stay for the night, no need to eat his food as well
ignoring the call of the fridge and the shower, you pad over to the back door, pausing when you see something propped against the glass
it's a little whiteboard, and as you approach, you make out the writing
it's got 'hi, i'm dokyeom, dk for short :D' written across the top, with a little flow chart beneath
it starts with two options: 'are you a hybrid' with a box for ticking under 'yes' and 'no'
under the option for 'no', it says 'i'll buy cat food' and under 'yes', it says 'there are spare clothes in the guest room and towels in the bathroom (both clean, don't worry), help yourself to anything in the fridge'
you sit down on your haunches, shocked
so he did consider that you could be a hybrid?
and he's alright with it?
plus, he managed to leave clothes in the room you were sleeping in, and you didn't wake up?
maybe your instincts aren't as good as you thought
or maybe your body thought you were safe last night - safe enough to not wake you up when the Guy (dokyeom, you've learnt from the mini whiteboard) came in
you cock your head, staring at the whiteboard for a few moments longer before making your decision
honestly, it's not hard to choose
you make your way to the bathroom, already eagerly anticipating a shower
sure enough, he's left a towel on the rail, and you're quick to hop into the shower, shifting into your human form and turning up the heat high
it's strange to be out of your cat form, your body suddenly seeming too large and ungainly, your senses immediately dulled
but in a way, it's also freeing - you haven't been able to be like this in ages, as clothes unfortunately don't shift with you from cat to human form
you feel more real this way
that's the problem: you can't exist as just one or another, both animal and human are part of your soul, your essence - you can't just pretend that one half of you doesn't exist
eventually, you drag yourself out of the shower
you're aware that he might have limited hot water, and what kind of guest would you be if you used it up before he even got a chance to get home?
wrapping the towel around you, you slip into the guest room to put on the clothes he'd left there
it's a pair of black tracksuit bottoms, a large white t-shirt and a grey hoodie, all obviously his
even in your human form, you can smell the mixed scents on his clothes
there's the fresh smell of clean laundry, a hint of aftershave, and his own unique scent: you can't quite put your finger on it, but it feels... cosy
it's a smell that's all over his house, actually
barefoot, you enter the kitchen again, scooping the whiteboard off the floor so you can write on it
you tick the box under 'yes'
underneath that, you write a quick note:
'thanks for letting me stay. i'll be out of your hair in no time, i just needed somewhere for the night. you're very kind, dk. thank you so much :))'
signing your name and setting the whiteboard down on the counter on the way to the fridge, you rummage around, wondering what you can cook
you're pleasantly surprised - the contents of his fridge aren't awful, and although they could be organised a little better, it's thankfully not full of expired ready meals or anything like that
feeling better than you've felt in ages, you wander around his kitchen until you find his rice cooker, and then you get cooking
you're absolutely ravenous, but you make sure to make enough for him too - he's been unnecessarily kind to you, this is the best you can do for him
you're just finished washing up your dishes when your instincts prickle
it's a sensation that happens a lot when you're in your human form - it means that your cat form would be picking up something that your human senses are too dull to detect
rushing back to the bedroom, you slip out of the clothes he laid out for you, hastily folding them before shifting back to your cat form
logically, you have no reason to fear
he's been nothing but kind to you, but he's still a human
and humans aren't always as nice as they seem
you feel so much more secure in your cat form - smaller, faster, better at avoiding sticky situations, better at surviving
your ears twitch as you hear a key scrape in the lock
that must be him - dk
you stand indecisively in the middle of the guest room, your claws sinking unconsciously into the carpet before you hastily retract them
by then, he's toed his shoes off and is in the kitchen
you hear a soft 'oh'
he's probably found the whiteboard on the counter, moved from where he left it, and the dinner you cooked for him
he calls your name then, and you almost jump out of your skin before you remember you wrote it on the whiteboard
feeling far too nervous, you trot out into the corridor, nudging the kitchen door open before entering
he's right there, leaning against the counter, his smiling eyes bright as he looks down at you
this is the first time you've really seen him, really realised you let your guard down and allowed some random guy to let you into his house
he looks absolutely huge
like, he could crush your cat form in his bare hands if he wanted to you, although you realise that's not that great of a feat considering your small stature
he would also tower over your human form, but then again, that's not much of an achievment
still, it makes you take a small step back
humans have unquestioned power over hybrids - you're pretty sure if he killed you right here and now, no one would know or care
and if someone did know, the case would be as likely to make it to court as you are likely to become a billionare next week
your hackles begin to rise, and you mentally run through your escape options
unfortunately, none avoid you shifting into your naked human form, even if it's just for a few seconds
you're beginning to panic
a lot
but then, he crouches down, just like last night
slowly, keeping his movements predictable, he reaches his hand out towards you
'i won't hurt you,'
you relax just a tiny bit, ears twitching, waiting to see what he'll say next
'promise.'
of their own accord, your hackles lower, and you find yourself inching towards his outstretched hand
'you don't have to leave, you know. it would be nice to have some company. plus, i don't want to make assumptions, but i'd rather not let you go if you have nowhere else to stay.'
part of your brain wonders why he's being so nice
the other part, the part that you've shoved down for so long, surfaces like a long lost ache, reminding you how lonely you are, reminding you how much you miss simple human interaction
dipping your head forward, you sniff at his broad palm, before lightly licking his fingertips
he chuckles, albeit a little nervously, as if he's scared you're going to bolt at any second (to be fair, if you were him, you wouldn't write off that option either)
his other hand comes up to rub behind your ears, and your eyes close at the feeling
the beginnings of a purr start to form in your chest, and you know that's when your fate is sealed
the permanence of that thought unsettles you
pulling away, you head towards the radiator, settling close to it, glad that your cat form means that you don't have to talk to him
he grins brightly at you, picking up the plate you left on the counter and putting it in the microwave for warming up
'thanks for the dinner, but you know you don't owe me anything, right?'
you blink up at him from your spot on the floor
he's literally the kindest human you've ever met
then again, you haven't met very many kind humans
that night you sleep curled up on the sofa - it's much more comfortable than wedged underneath a bed, and his cushions smell nice
in the morning, you hear dk get up, but he tip toes around quietly
cracking an eye open, you yawn, eyes blinking into focus as you watch him quickly scribble on the whiteboard, his brow furrowed in concentration
he glances your way, and for some reason, it shoots a bolt of panic through you, and you duck your head back down, closing your eyes
it's not that he's threatening - quite the opposite
it's just that you're not used to this; not used to being in such close proximity with another being for prolonged periods of time, not used to interaction with humans after avoiding them for your own sake for so long
you hear some shuffling, the sound of the fridge door, and then his footsteps approach
as he walks past, he brushes a hand lightly down the soft fur of your back, as if in greeting
you almost twitch at the feeling
you wonder how long it's been since you've let anyone come that close
not daring to move a hair, you wait until you hear him ease the front door shut
the second he's gone, you jump up, eager to see what he wrote on the whiteboard
it's on the counter, so you shift into your human form and put on some clothes - you're not sure what his rules about paws on tables are
there's a fresh t-shirt on the guest room bed, but you opt to wear the one you wore yesterday
a smile plays on your lips as you read what he wrote
it's a short but sweet message extolling the virtues of your cooking and telling you to help yourself to the fridge again, followed by a question asking if what food you would like and whether you prefer cat food
still grinning, you write your reply, explaining how you can eat both human and cat food and how you love tuna in either form, adding a short shopping list of ingredients and asking how his day was
once you're done, you decide to explore his flat properly
it consists of two bathrooms, two bedrooms, a tiny room with a washing machine and various bits and bobs crammed inside, and the kitchen which sort of melds with the living room (if you could call the couch and TV in one corner a living room)
you spend most of your time snooping around his bedroom, just to sate your curiosity
it's not neat, but it's not messy either, and the smell of him is strongest in there
you're sure his desk should be buckling under the combined weight of his pc and the impressive amount of paraphanalia that's collected upon it
it's not that it's dirty - it's actually pretty orderly, there's just... a lot of stuff
there's a mug full of pens which says 'dude kisser' on it (you're not going to question that one), a haphazard stack of books - the top one of which has a fuzzy bookmark sticking out, a pile of mismatching keycaps, a group photo of dk and twelve other guys with moustaches and other flattering things lovingly drawn on, and tons more stuff you couldn't explain even if you tried
the chair has a lot of clothes draped over it: nice, comfy clothes, like the ones he's lended you
you're tempted to explore further into his room, but you feel kind of rude so you scuttle back to the kitchen/living room to make the happy discovery that he owns a nintendo switch
that means he probably has some more complicated games lurking around but you're happy to settle with mario kart for now
it's not something you've played before, although you've heard some of your human ex-colleagues talking about it
by the time dk returns, though, you're a pro
well, maybe not a pro, but not inept, either
by then you've made dinner and left it out for him like yesterday - you feel kind of weird doing nothing but playing video games while he goes to work, and at least cooking for him makes you feel a little useful and not like some awful parasite taking advantage of him
he tells you about his day as he eats at the dinner table while you sit in cat form on the chair next to him
he smiles the whole time, and you find yourself relaxed and content, infected by his happy virus
once he's done with his debrief, he unthinkingly asks how your day was
you look at him and give him your best deadpan meow
he laughs and you find it a bit dazzling - he hands away smiles as if they're free, and honestly it kind of restores your faith in humanity
'what if you blink twice for yes and once for no? how about that?'
you blink twice at him
dk grins, his eyes lighting up; he's so excited you can almost imagine him clapping his hands and kicking his legs like an enthusiastic little kid
'do you like pineapple on pizza? is it wrong to wear socks and sandals? how about socks in bed? are tomatoes a fruit? is it right to have toilet paper over? or do you like it under?'
he bombards you with random yes or no questions, each one getting weirder than the last, but you find his delight in your answers is more than enough to let him continue
after about half an hour, he either runs out of questions or decides to spare you, asking instead whether you want to watch a movie
that's how you end up curled up on the sofa beside him
he'd insisted on a horror movie, even though you'd said no, very clearly blinking only once
you would leave but you think it's kind of entertaining how bad the makeup and plot are and how violent his reactions are (they consist of a lot of flailing and terrified squeaks)
despite your reluctance to watch a horror movie, he's actually more scared than you are
the poor thing is tense as anything, his mouth hanging half open as he stares wide eyed at the tv, transfixed
you're actually too busy watching him that when the jump scare pops up on screen, you jump about a foot high, landing hissing on his lap with your tail all fluffed up
your claws accidentally come out and prick him through his jeans and he yelps
'ouch - shit - ow - '
you hop off his lap and watch him dramatically curse and pretend to be wounded, both of you distracted from the movie now
eventually he calms down and goes back to watching, but not before he picks you up and plops you back on his lap, one hand anxiously smoothing down your back as you both wait for the next jump scare
after a while he goes so far as to pick you up and hold you to his chest, hiding his face in your fur every time the music warningly crescendos, whispering to you how utterly terrified he is
even still, his grip stays loose enough for you to move away at any time if you want
you'd think that after your previous experiences with humans, you'd hate him anywhere near you, but you don't
you don't mind it at all
it's kind of ridiculous actually, the way you feel safer than you have in months when he clutches you to him while watching a literal horror movie
you don't think much of it though
he's just a guy who's letting you stay for a bit
you don't plan to stick around
a week later, you find yourself writing an apology on the whiteboard that you'd been putting off since watching the movie
dk is welcoming and warm and friendly but you're sure he must be wondering why you haven't shifted into your human form yet
sometimes, you wonder that yourself - there's something in his eyes that instantly puts you at ease
the day before yesterday, you'd planned it, changing into your clothes - his clothes, and sitting on the sofa, ready to greet him, but the moment you heard his footsteps up to the front door, you just couldn't
your cat form still feels so much safer, even though you have nothing to fear
well, apart from all the explaining you'd have to do once you shift into a form with a tongue that can talk
you don't want to see the pity that would spring into his eyes, or worse, disgust
you're scared of the change it will bring
you're scared to let your walls down
you're scared to bare the soft, vulnerable part of your heart
clenching your teeth, you force yourself to relax, the marker in your hand shaking from how hard your fingers had been clenching around it
you lean against the counter for a while, writing messages then rubbing them out, needing to tell him why but also terrified of what he'll say
solitude has been your only companion for so long, you find that you don't have the words to express what you feel
you don't know how to tell him how you hadn't realised how lonely you were until he let you in
you don't know how to articulate the warm feeling inside you when he smiles at you, as if he doesn't care whether you're a human or a hybrid - because he doesn't
you don't know how to say how eternally grateful you are to him for finding something soft and gentle and innocent within you that you thought you lost years ago
in the end, you decide to keep it short, an apology that feels more like an excuse, but it's the best you can give him
sure, you don't plan to stay here with him forever, but you owe it to him anyway
your restless for the remainder of the day, pacing around the flat and the garden for a little too, tail lashing agitatedly
you've almost convinced yourself to go and rub out your message completely when you hear the front door open and dk comes in, calling out that he's home
peeking around the corner, you see him down the hallway but he doesn't spot you
he's got a strange look on his face, one you can't decipher yet, and there's a flowery scent on him that you've smelled only one time before
you wait just out of sight, not wanting to see his face as he reads
slowly, you venture out, feeling far more nervous than you should be
he sits down on the floor opposite you as soon as he spots you, signalling for you to do the same by patting the spot in front of him
you sink down on your haunches and curl your tail over your feet, nerves a tight ball in your chest
'you don't have to shift if you don't want to.'
the words immediately give you space to breathe, and you feel kind of silly for being so worked up about it all day
'i know hybrids aren't treated well at all, and i'm okay with whatever form you feel most comfortable in, you know? you can shift when you're ready, and whether that's tomorrow or in a decade or never, that's fine. you don't owe me anything.'
your chest feels tight at the earnesty of his words, and you know that if you were in your human form right now, tears would be welling up in your eyes
getting up, you close the gap between the two of you and rest your shoulder against his knee, needing to show your gratitude, needing to be closer to him
he rests his wide palm on your back, a silent assurance
'it's nice to have you here. i used to share with a bunch of my friends - the ones coming over tonight that i told you about this morning, actually - and sometimes it gets lonely in a flat all by myself. i like talking with you.'
you meow, nuzzling against his other hand as he lifts it to stroke the silky spot between your ears
it's amazing, how simple his words are but how he can use them so well, articulating how he feels so boldly
he smiles down at you and you look back up at him, leaning against his hand before he gets up, groaning and cracking his back
his friends will be here soon
he'd warned you this morning, informing you they were noisy but harmless and that if you didn't want to see them, you could hole up in the guest room
they're the first people he's had over since your first night in his flat, and you feel kind of nervous about so many humans, but dk will be there, and you're determined to at least attempt to meet them
anyways, if they're all anywhere close to him, you'll have no problems
still, you stay in the guest room, ears twitching with each arrival
they laugh and chat, their voices carrying through the flat as they jokingly rib each other
occasionally, they have a little karaoke break where they all stop talking to sing along to the song playing on dk's speaker
then there'll be peals of laughter that follow, usually after an exaggerated falsetto note or a scuffling noise which you assume is dancing
it's after their laughter dies down a little when you finally whip up the courage to approach
poking your head into the kitchen, you peer in
there's twelve of them, not including dk, all sitting around the dining table, an array of soju bottles and mainly empty takeaway boxes arranged around them
you're pretty sure they're the same group that you saw the first time you found yourself in dk's garden
one of them spots you in the doorway, and he grins, leaning with his elbows on his knees and opening his palms to you
cautiously, you trot over to him, and he scoops you up, tickling your chin
one of dk's friends across the table gapes at you - he's a bit more drunk than the others (or he holds his liquor less well), and the guy you're sitting on chuckles at his expression
'dk, you got a cat?'
that's the drunk one speaking, his speech a little slurred as his eyes well up with tears
he's a sad drunk, it seems
'dk, you're a dad - '
dk scratches the back of his neck, watching his friend sniffle
'well, hoshi, not a dad, but - '
the guy still holding you adjusts you in his grasp, letting you catch the thoughtful frown on his face
'why didn't you tell us? i thought you were al - '
he's cut off by a sassy looking guy
'jun, just because you want to have a baby shower for a cat doesn't mean all the rest of us do.'
this causes absolute chaos, and the one holding you - jun - lets you down on the floor so he can stand up in order to argue with the sassy guy about the benefits of cat baby shower
navigating your way through the mess of legs under the table, you make your way over to dk
he grins and rubs the spot behind your ears, and you lick his palm before someone grabs you around the middle and cuddles you
you hear dk telling the boys to be careful and it warms your heart a little that he's still looking out for you
he doesn't need to be worried, though
dk's friends are as sweet as he is
you sit with the boys for the rest of the evening
they all leave eventually, trickling out in ones and twos
the last one left is the one they call cheol - he seems to be the protector of the group, and he makes sure dk is alright and helps him clear up a little before he leaves too
once he's out of the door, dk crouches down in front of you
'you okay?'
you blink twice and he grins
'they can be pretty overwhelming and noisy at first, but they're my best friends.'
there's pride shining in his eyes, and you can't help but agree with him - despite their banter, you could tell that they care so much for each other, and for him
'i didn't know whether you wanted them to know you were a hybrid or not, i hope you don't mind that,'
you blink twice again, meowing and padding forward to rub against his shins
you're not quite sure what makes you do that, what primal part of you tells you to put your scent on him, but he chuckles, smile as bright as the sun as always
he scratches at the spot behind your ear and you purr, leaning your head into his touch
'oh - '
you look up, the wonder on his face making it seem like he just made you sprout wings and flash neon
it's cute that he's so proud that he's made you purr
it's been a few months since you first started staying with dk, long enough for the two of you to have a little routine
you cook and clean and generally try to make yourself as helpful as you can around his house while he's at work
he'll write a message for you on the whiteboard every morning, and you'll write your reply during the day
you always come out to greet him at the front door, no matter what
then he'll eat the dinner you made and answer your whiteboard message
from then on, you'll watch a movie with him or just chat
your communication has become easier - sometimes, he'll get his laptop out and you'll type what you're saying, but recently he's gotten scarily good at reading your body language
and no, you still have not worked up the courage to shift into human form yet
you're studiously ignoring the fact that the longer you leave it, the harder it gets
you're also ignoring your previously stated intentions of not staying
you know that this can't go on forever, and even if dk can understand you to an extent, that's not enough and you cost him extra water bills and food
you know he's too kind to bring it up but it eats away at you inside
you're happy to remain blind to the fact that you can't have a proper conversation with him until you shift into human form for now
you tell yourself that you'll deal with it later, whenever later is
another thing that you refuse to acknowledge is your feelings
your fear that you won't be good enough if or when you show him your human form, your fear that you're a dead weight, and worst of all, the growing realisation that he's stupidly fucking handsome
you'd realised but you hadn't realised until one day, after he got back from the gym
his skin had been covered in a light sheen of sweat, and he told you he was going to shower before eating
you'd kind of just blinked at him, too entranced by the amount of skin his tank top was showing
like, what does this guy not have?
he took a little longer than normal in the shower - you heard him absolutely belting out the lyrics to some ballad you'd never heard before, so you trotted down the hallway to listen more closely
and then the door to the bathroom popped open, along with a billow of steam and a delicious lee dokyeom
there was a towel around his hips, low enough to make your stomach twist, and the water rolled down the planes of his chest in a way that made you want to shift into your human form right then and there, just to wrestle that towel off him and kiss him until you ran out of breath
instead, you yowled and jumped about a foot in the air
he just laughed, running a hand through his wet hair to push it out of his eyes before crouching down, telling you he didn't mean to scare you
you meowed and kept your eyes on his face, not on the gap that had opened in the towel due to his bent knees, and definitely not on the wonderful sliver of tanned thigh that showed
the image of dk, damp and glorious under the tinny light of his bathroom, cloaked in steam, often circles around your mind to this day
and it's not just that either - he's also funny and kind and sweet and you feel yourself drowning in his eyes when you look at him too long
just as a reminder: cats do not like water
let alone drowning
the sound of footsteps on the pavement outside dk's front door shake you from your thoughts
there's clearly two people, and you hear dk's voice as the key scrapes in the lock
he's speaking in a tone you've never heard before, low and emotionally charged, like he's angry
you peek into the hallway as the front door opens
dk steps in, followed by a girl you've never seen before, but her scent matches that flowery scent you've smelt on dk a few times before
something sinks inside you
you didn't think he had a girlfriend, which now, in hindsight, seems like a really, really stupid assumption
he's handsome and kind and considerate with a smile brighter than the sun
but then you notice something else - the obvious frown on dk's face
there's a sort of tension in the air, crackling and heavy, like a storm's brewing and there are dark clouds swarming above
she ignores it, instead spotting you and immediately crouching and patting her thighs to try and entice you over as dk shucks off his shoes, face like thunder
she says something to him in an airy voice about him not telling her he had a cat
he shrugs, not mentioning that you're a hybrid and staying silent, which kind of alarms you, because the dk you know is friendly, warm - even when he's angry, it's always firey, nothing like the frigid detachedness in his eyes right now
cautiously, you approach, not really sure what to expect - you're sure she's his girlfriend; now you think about it, you did hear dk's friends discuss it briefly, you just didn't understand at the time
she reaches out to stroke your back, but it brings the cuff of her oversized leather coat near your face
you get a smothering whiff of heavy, masculine cologne that you know is not hers and is definitely not dk's
there's no hint of aftershave, no smell of fresh laundry, and not even a trace of that scent on him that makes you feel warm and comfy
and if this isn't her coat, and it's not dk's, then who's is it?
cheater
hissing, you recoil, your hackles up as you swipe at her hand with your claws out before she can lay a finger on you
you're kind of taken aback by the violence of your own reaction - the tension in the air must be getting to you, too
'oh. it doesn't like me much, you're sure it's not one of those hybrids, right?'
dk's frown deepens into a scowl you've never even seen a hint of on his face, his eyes flashing, filled with something absolutely livid
'let's talk in the kitchen.'
he doesn't even look at her when he says it, and as he turns to go, you can see how hard he's clenching his jaw
you head to the guest room to give them privacy while dk's girlfriend slinks after him
even across the apartment, you can hear too well
it's partly your enhanced cat hearing and partly that new timbre in dk's voice - he's not yelling, nowhere close, but his words carry through the walls
it's the angriest you've ever heard him
you've seen him angry before; frustrated, annoyed, down right incensed, but it always passes quickly, the sun breaking through the clouds with ease - dk doesn't hold grudges
you catch 'cheating' from his sentence, and then suddenly, his girlfriend raises her voice, like she's the one who should be angry, screaming that she doesn't get why he's so worked up over this
that's the exact moment where you want to march into the kitchen and fucking injure her, somehow
punching her in human form would be preferable but you'd be down to claw her eyes out in cat form too
who is she, to cheat on dk, the kindest man alive, then tell him it's nothing? tell him she doesn't know why he's worried?
she doesn't know what she's taking for granted, and she's a fool for that
plus, from what you can hear, he's being half as angry as he really deserves to be, anyway
you sit there in a tense, seething ball of rage, protective and furious on dk's behalf until he puts his foot down
his voice is quieter, more subdued, but he's moved to the kitchen door and you hear him clearly
'get out.'
mentally, you pump your fist in triumph - he should have kicked her out the moment she had the audacity to tell him he shouldn't be getting so worked up about her cheating
in fact, he should have never have let her in in the first place
you hear her screech something over her shoulder about breaking up, as if that wasn't already obvious
honestly, you're kind of embarrassed on her behalf
she should be winning awards for how far her head is up her own ass
dk shuts the door behind her
he doesn't even slam it, just eases it closed like he always does and plods to his room
you hear the rustle of the blankets as he slumps down on the bed, hear the shaky sigh he lets out, and then the heavy silence
you get up and go to his room - the door is ajar, so you peek in
you don't go in; he has every reason to want to be alone, so you hover in the doorway
he lifts his head up and gives you a valiant smile
he looks exhausted
you hop up onto the bed and wait, not wanting to crowd him if he doesn't want contact, but he picks you up and sets you on his chest
you can tell he's fighting with his words as he formulates something to say to you
he stares up at the ceiling, avoiding your eyes until he covers his own with his arm, hiding the upper half of his face in the crook of his elbow
'i found out she was cheating this morning, but i'd suspected it for a while before. i wanted to talk it through with her, give her a chance, you know?'
he squirms and you realise your claws are coming out and poking his chest so you withdraw them and attempt to relax
'she told me i was overreacting, and... yeah. i guess i should have listened to my mum. she's always right.'
he laughs, but it's a loose, raw sound that echoes weakly around the room, and he still won't look at you or uncover his eyes
there's a moment of silence, thick and suffocating with heartache
a sob wrenches from his chest
it's a sharp, painful sound, like he's been holding it in for hours
the floodgates open
dk covers his face with trembling hands, tears leaking out from under his palms
you never thought seeing someone else cry would hurt this much
nudging his hand with your nose, you let him hold you close, rubbing your cheek against his and gently lapping the tears off his face, even as they soak your fur
you feel helpless, like the pieces of his heart are in your hands and you don't know how to fit them back together
he just clings to you, eyes tight shut as his sobs begin to subside
you stay there with him, wishing you could do more as he hides his face in your fur and hugs you close to him
you don't know what that girl was thinking when she decided to cheat on dk
actually, she probably wasn't thinking at all
you kind of want to tell him he's too kind and trusting for his own good, but you know that even if dk was capable of not being like that, he would choose to be the way he is
his hand strokes down your back, and you watch him from where you rest your head on his collarbone
he's staring at the ceiling, and although his eyes are red and a bit puffy and he's sniffling, his crying has subsided a little
dk props himself up on his elbows and gives you a sad smile
'sorry about that. and thanks, too, i - i needed that.'
you huff, tail flicking and smacking against his abdomen - as if he needs to be sorry
nuzzling into the hand he brings up to rub your head, you lick his palm, nudging it with your nose
then you hop off the bed and wait for him to follow you into the kitchen so he eats his dinner
you don't take your eyes off him, not even when he goes to sleep
you curl up in the corner, happy to sleep on the carpet, but he pats the mattress next to him and you can't refuse
it's nice, to sleep beside dk, his body warm and near as he reaches across the bed to run his hand down the fur of your spine and beckon you closer
over the next months, you watch dk heal
you help him heal, too
at least, you hope you do
you make sure to stick close to him
you've slept curled up at the foot of his bed every night since the day of the break up
he calls his mum the day after, and a few of his friends too
he stays strong and determinedly brave in front of the boys, not shedding a tear, but he cries on the phone to his mum
he also cries over a few emotionally fraught kdramas during the first week before you sit on the remote and refuse to move until he chooses another genre
truth be told, you were getting kind of sick of the same plot with different characters, and the pile of tissues on the coffee table in front of the sofa was growing frighteningly large
exactly a month has passed since the break up when, over his dinner, dk announces to you that he's finally installing cat flaps for you
he also mentions that he wants to introduce you to his friends properly, as who you are
the latter comment kind of makes you nervous
his friends are some of the most welcoming, commendable men you've ever interacted with, but a niggling part of your brain wonders if they'll be more sceptical than dk
what if they tell him you're taking advantage of him?
or that you're just a hybrid and don't deserve the kindness he's giving you?
because after all these months with dk, you realised you're not just staying for the roof over your head or the warm meals
you're staying because of dk
you care about him
a lot
not just because you're sort of a little bit hopelessly in love with him, but also because he's kind of... your best friend
he's so sweet and silly and and considerate and funny it makes you want to punch a wall sometimes
you'd protect him with your life
you don't really know how to say it to him, though
there's nothing more you can do in the house, and the words don't seem right on the whiteboard
you wait out the hours until he gets back from work, doing chores around the house or out exploring the neighbourhood through the newly installed cat flap in the back door
or singing in the shower, like you are now
dk's bathroom has very good acoustics
it means you can belt your heart out, happily knowing that dk won't be home for another few hours
you're singing one of the songs dk's friends had been singing the other night
it's kind of sad but also kind of a hoe anthem and the chorus has something about not understanding something - you don't remember the rest of the lyrics
it has a good tune, though, and your own singing combined with the splashing of the shower seals you off from the outside world
which means that when dk gets home early, you don't hear
originally, the only explanation for a female voice coming from his bathroom that he can think of is his ex, but that's dumb because she never had a key in the first place
also, her voice can't even compare to yours
because it is you, he realises
it's you in the shower right now, oblivious to the fact he's home early and is hearing your voice for the first time ever
a little bolt of nervous energy shoots through him, and he panics
what's he supposed to do? should he shout that he's home?
he decides he doesn't want to scare you just in case you panic, so he approaches slowly, hoping to knock on the door and let you know
he soaks up the sound of your voice, a smile playing on his lips, because of course you sound amazing
he's about to knock on the door when the handle turns
wait is all he gets out before suddenly, there you are, right in front of him, wrapped in a towel, cat ears peaking out from your hair that's dripping onto the tiled floor
his brain freezes
shit, you're pretty
you gape at dk
you didn't even hear him come in, let alone him walking down the hallway
this is probably karma from that one time you saw him fresh out of the shower
you'd known that it was inevitable for him to see you in human form at some point, whether it was intentional or not
you just didn't expect it to be so soon, and definitely not like this
oh no
he didn't hear your singing, did he?
instinctively, your hand comes up to make sure the towel around your chest is secure
you're seconds away from shifting and running, but you're rooted to the spot, paralysed by his eyes on you
he blinks a little, as if he's coming to his senses
'...hey,'
that's all he says, his voice soft and wondrous, his eyes sparkling the way they always do, sweet and inviting as the smile pulling at his lips
'hi,'
unfortunately for you, it comes out half strangled and breathy, but a grin immediately appears on his face, his eyes scrunching with happiness
he hasn't looked away once, gaze roving over your face as if he's committing you to memory, and you feel a hot blush begin to creep over you
'i, uh, let me go change.'
you scurry back into the bathroom, almost tripping over the bathmat as you shuck on a shirt and trousers, small tremors going through your hands
you tell yourself it's fine
because it is fine - you're not scared of dk, you trust him, it' just... you should have shifted for him ages ago
placing your hand on the door handle, you take a deep breath
turning back to the mirror, you hastily fix your hair before biting the bullet and opening the door
dk waits outside, leaning against the wall, still smiling
when you peek out, half hiding behind the door, his grin widens, and he opens his arms
you barely need to think, your body just moves, and then he's got you tight in his embrace, your nose pressed into his chest: just like that, any semblance of unease or self consciousness you were feeling evaporates like the space between you
slowly, you breathe in, then out
he smells like he always does - laundry, aftershave, and the scent that you've begun to associate with home
you sigh, resting your forehead on his chest so you don't have to look at him when you speak
'well, that wasn't so hard for me, was it?'
he laughs, eyes dancing, and with that, everything is back to normal
it doesn't matter which form you're in, it's still dk, and it's still you
you talk to him for ages - first over dinner, and then the two of you move to the couch, losing track of time as you fill him in, answering every question he fires your way
his sincerity makes your heart flutter: he clings onto your every word as if it's precious
in the end, you wind up telling him how you got to the situation you were in before
you lay yourself bare, letting your walls down for him to see the scars on your soul
you're not sure when the tears pricking at your eyes spill over, but dk wipes them away gently, spreading his arms for the second time tonight, letting you soak the front of his hoodie with your tears
he tucks your head against his shoulder, his hand rubbing up and down your back the way he always does
his heartbeat is comforting under your ear
you fall asleep like that, held safely in dk's embrace
things continue as normal, even with your human form revealed
you realise how stupid you were for worrying so much about things changing when you shifted into your human form
you talked to dk about how you feel like a burden, how although he doesn't mind, you don't like relying on him to pay the bills, and how you want to get a job
he reassured you that it was fine but after seeing the look of determination on your face, he realised there was no point in opposing you
so he pulls some strings (more like cheol pulls some strings) to get you a part time job in the local library
it's just three days a week, but the important thing is that you get paid and treated the same as any human would
your boss is a little old lady with very thick reading glasses
she bakes you cakes sometimes, and once she's fed you a slice or two, she forces you to take the rest home
it's not anything like your old job, but neither would you want it to be
it doesn't pay your bills either, but it's a happy compromise
dk claims that coming home every day to a meal that you cooked is worth the money of those bills a hundred times over, anyway
you also officially meet his friends
they're sweet, a bit noisy and chaotic at first, but they make sure to keep you included in the conversation despite all the private jokes that they seem to have
they act a bit like a huge family unit (they bicker like brothers)
despite their closeness with each other, it doesn't push you away
they didn't even care that you were a hybrid
you caught a knowing look pass between the one called joshua and the one called jeonghan when dk introduced you, but you're not really sure what it could have been about
you were probably just imagining it, to be honest
anyways, aside from occasionally attending their boys nights (on demand, they always clamour for you to join them), the little routine you and dk made is still very much the same
you still cook for him, except now you wait and eat dinner with him
there's never a dull moment with dk, and he makes you laugh until you can't breathe
he's made it his personal goal over dinner to make you laugh so hard you snort food up your nose again
you talk about everything and anything to him
he'll tell you about a funny thing at work and you'll tell him about a customer at the library and somehow that will bring you to a debate on hogwarts houses
today he sits across from you, the food on his plate already all long gone and eaten while you're just finishing up with yours
'you know, i'm allergic to cats.'
you gape
because he's what now?
'you're what now?'
'well, not to you, i guess. maybe you're hypoallergenic?'
now you think of it, you do remember one of his friends almost saying something about that the first time you ever saw them
it might have been jun, you can't quite remember
'you know, when you first sat next to me on the sofa, i was panicking because i didn't know what to do with cats.'
you snort
you address him as you get up, dumping your plate in the sink before proceeding to dive onto the sofa
'you didn't know what to do with cats? you just stroke us, dk.'
he follows suit, and you're propelled upwards due to the force that he lands on the sofa cushions with
'yeah, but it's different from how you stroke dogs. it doesn't matter, anyways, because i still got you to purr.'
he crosses his arms and smiles smugly
you throw back your head and laugh, realising why he looked so proud when he found the spot behind your ear
actually, you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, and it's only egged on by the small indignant noise that leaves him at your reaction
eventually, you need to catch your breath, and as you wipe the tears from your eyes, you glance over at dk
your heart lurches
he's staring
there's this look on his face, in his eyes, that burns
his lips are slightly parted, and suddenly the air between the two of you is charged in a way that makes your heartbeat pound loud in your ears
his gaze flicks down from your eyes, down to your mouth, then back up, and all of a sudden, you can't breathe
you can't even think as he leans closer, his breath ghosting over your lips
your head spins, fear and elation fighting for control
is he... is he going to kiss you?
his hand comes up to cup your cheek, his slender fingers warm and so undoubtedly right
like it's meant to be
'can i kiss you?'
his words come out so softly that you could almost believe you imagined them, if not for that look in his eyes
it's deep and immense, full of want, full of longing
it sweeps you up in its arms, promising you the love you only dare to dream of
it's beautiful
it's everything
also, it's fucking terrifying
panic grips your swelling heart and crushes it
he can't want you, he shouldn't - you're a hybrid, he's a human, it will never work, you'll just get hurt when he realises you're not good enough, when he realises how much harder it is to be associated with your kind, you can't disappoint him -
leaping off the sofa, you shift into cat form and sprint for the back door
you shoot right through the cat flap and run, legging it to the end of the garden and launching yourself over the fence
despite your speed, you still spare dk a backward glance
he sits, frozen on the sofa, his head turned towards you, eyes wide and bewildered
they're brimming with regret and what you'd like to imagine is sorrow
you never thought the ache of yearning in your chest would be returned, so you let it carve out a space for him in your heart
you didn't think he'd try to fill it, you didn't think he'd be dumb enough to want a hybrid like you
that night, you try to leave
you try to walk down the road, away from dk's house, away from dk and his comforting scent and warm hands
you can't
your soul seems tethered to his, and you can't bring yourself to cut the strings
you spend the night sitting in the garden next to his, tail curled around your paws, bathed in the glow of his kitchen lights that don't turn off until around three am in the morning
you shiver in the dark, fighting with yourself until you decide to go back, to talk it out with him because that's what he deserves
you hate to slink back to him after being such a coward, but you need him to know that you do want him, that if you were a human, if you were good enough for him, you would have kissed him in a heartbeat
quietly, you slip through the cat flap make your way into the guest room
it's changed so much since the first night you spent in it - dk moved most of the boxes out of it, making it your room, even though you sleep in his most of the time
there's a selfie of you and dk, wrapped up in blankets for movie night, and a group photo of you and the boys halfway through the most chaotic game of cards you've ever participated in
you're determined not to lose this, lose them
you're determined not to fuck this up more than you already have
quickly, you shift and change into your clothes, just to stand in the middle of the room, not entirely sure what to do with yourself
you remain there, silently fretting, until there's a soft tap on the door
your breath catches in your throat but you manage to wheeze out a somewhat convincing 'come in'
dk peeks in and leaves the door open - you're aware that he's left it that way to give you a clear escape route
he chews on his lip, running a hand through his hair, and you notice that he looks tired, as if he hasn't slept all night
'i heard you come in, and i just wanted to say that i... i'm sorry. i didn't mean to overstep the boundaries. i just - you're... i'm sorry i messed up. asking to, um, you know, wasn't a good idea on my part, i don't - i didn't know what i was doing, i kind of just...'
he sighs, looking at you sheepishly once he realises he was rambling
'please don't go?'
that's the moment you give in
you let go of it, of everything, and let yourself fly into freefall
stepping forward, you hook an arm around his neck, sinking your other hand into his hair, bringing his face down to yours to fit your lips to his
he makes a soft, awed noise, his fingers curling around your waist to press you closer to him
he tastes divine, like heaven, like the best kind of destiny
the feel of his lips against yours becomes everything you'll ever need
hesitantly, you begin to pull away, words already forming on your tongue, but then he darts forward to steal another sweet, sweet kiss from you, and then you're drowning in him again
he tangles his hands in your hair, his fingertips brushing over your ears, tracing their shape as if to show you that he doesn't care what you are
when he eventually breaks the kiss off, he presses a finger to your lips before you can draw a breath
'don't tell me i don't know what i'm getting into. i thought i lost you, i thought you were leaving, and i couldn't... please, just let me love you.'
he immediately cringes at his own words, and you let your head fall forward until your forehead rests against his chest, huffing out a laugh
'i'm sorry i freaked out before, i - i got scared. then i didn't know what to do so i just kind of ran. i didn't mean to scare you.'
he pouts cutely, in a way that makes you want to poke his cheeks
'well, you did. i - '
you cut him off with a kiss, just to taste him again if not to shut him up
his hands find your hips, drawing you closer to him
'i think i love you.'
the confession slips out of you, mumbled onto his lips before you can stop it, but all he does is smile into the kiss
'i think i love you too.'
when the boys find out, they tease dk mercilessly while somehow also hyping him up
seungcheol, jeonghan and hoshi all claim to have known about it from the start, although everyone knows hoshi is just saying that
jeonghan purposefully sits next to you just to quietly tell you about how he managed to get dk drunk enough one time for him to confess that he was in love with a cat
dk gets pouty about it later, so you kiss his face all over until he smiles again
in fact, he pretends to sulk a lot to get kisses from you
sometimes, you'll catch him just staring at you with a huge grin on his face
he makes a point to hold your hand in public, telling you that he's proud of having you
his sweet words make it easy for you to brush off the stares of the people on the bus, easy for you to ignore the way they whisper
sometimes dk kisses you and loudly calls you disgustingly sappy pet names in front of them, just out of spite
you realise now that they don't really bother you, not when dk doesn't care about them and not when he loves you the way he does - unconditionally
he shows it in the way he hangs onto your every word, in the way he cooks your favourite dishes for you, in the way he holds you, in the way he kisses you as if you're the most precious thing in the universe
you take every opportunity to show him how much you love him, too
hence why you're up early, cooking breakfast for dk
it's a saturday, and the sun leaking through the curtains woke you, even though it didn't even affect dk - he remained snoring beside you, his legs tangled with yours and his arms locked around your waist
you'd eased your way out of his grip and replaced yourself with a pillow, pressing a light kiss onto his forehead before shifting into your human form and pulling one of his t-shirts over your head
most nights, you sleep in your human form, but he'd been hogging the blankets so you'd shifted into your cat form in a desperate effort to make it easier for you to squirm into his blanket burrito
'what're you smiling about, huh?'
you almost drop the pancake you were transferring to a plate already heaped high and steaming with others
his arms wrap around your waist, and you sigh as he kisses your neck
'actually, i was thinking about how rude it was of you to steal the blankets last night, you sneaky little bastard.'
'hmm, my bad.'
he nips at your neck before his tongue flicks out to brush over the same spot
his hands wrap around your hips, and you sigh noncommittally as he sneaks his fingers under the hem of your - his - t-shirt
'babe, the pancakes will get cold - '
'don't care.'
you don't even try to shake him off as he continues to kiss at your neck from behind, nudging the collar of your shirt to the side so he can suck a hickey onto your shoulder
the air of the kitchen is cold on your bare legs, but he's nice and warm and solid, and you lean back into him, eyes closing as he laves his tongue over your skin
a low purr emnates from deep in your chest, and you feel him pause at your back
'that's never happened before,'
'and?'
'it was kind of hot.'
you huff out a laugh, but it's cut off as he spins you around, gripping your chin so he can kiss you
dk kisses you passionately, like he woke up with the one desire to taste every inch of your mouth, his teeth grazing dizzyingly over your lower lip
he grins against you when you moan at the feel of his tongue against yours
hooking your arms over his shoulders, you draw him closer
picking you up, he deposits you on the island, not breaking the kiss
he slots himself between your legs, his fingers skimming over the tops of your thighs, pushing the hem of your shirt a little higher
hooking an ankle around his hip, you nestle your heel in the small of his back, nudging him closer
something in your stomach pulls wonderfully tight when you feel the grind of his hardening cock against your clothed cunt
he chuckles at the involuntary noise that leaves you, one of his hands coming up to cup your breasts as he leans down, palms dragging down the length of your thighs as he hooks them over his shoulders
he helps you shimmy out of your underwear, chucking them carelessly over his shoulder
and then, just like that, he's got his mouth between your legs, spreading your pussy with his fingers, his eyes disarmingly guileless
his tongue is divinely velvet as he sweeps it through your folds
he tastes you as if your essence is the nectar of the gods, teasing the pleasure out of your body, holding your trembling thighs up with his big hands
as you come, convulsing around his tongue, he looks up at you with stars in his eyes, as if you're a goddess
it's ridiculous, the way he can make your heart flutter while fucking eating you out like a man starved
he straightens, kisses you with honey drenched lips that bear a virtuous smile, and lifts you up in his arms so he can make love to you on the sofa
he makes your eyes roll, makes your toes curl, makes you cry his name, sets you alight with his touch
and when he sends you over the edge, coming with you, when he scoops you up in his arms, sets you on the bathroom sink to clean you up, when he kisses you in the shower, you know one thing
you are willingly trapped in his gravity; you orbit him as if he is the star at the centre of the universe, yet somehow he looks at you with a light in his eyes, like you are the sun, the warmth on his skin, the reason for life
you love this man, irrevocably so, and somehow, miraculously, he loves you back
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alastairstom · 10 months
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the shadowhunter chronicles ask game!
i've seen this for other fandoms and am interested in doing it for tsc too, so i'm compiling a 30-question list for people to use as an ask game!
which tsc series is your favourite overall? why?
which tsc series is your least favourite overall? why?
which tsc book is your favourite?
favourite short story collection?
favourite short story in any collection?
who is your favourite main girl (tessa, cordelia, clary, or emma?)
who are your top 3 characters overall? why do you love them?
who is your #1 god-tier all-time fave character? gun to your head, you can only choose one. don't be waffly.
favourite modern-day tsc character and why? (not immortals.)
favourite historical tsc character and why? (again, not immortals.)
who is your favourite antagonist?
do you prefer the modern or historical side of tsc?
who is your favourite tsc pet? (church, chairman meow, oscar, etc)
who is your favourite shadowhunter?
who is your favourite downworlder?
what is your favourite type of downworlder?
tell me your favourite tsc ship and what you love about it. you can choose 2 if you so desire, but no more.
tell me your favourite platonic pairing and what you love about it.
tell me about your favourite sibling set and what you love about them.
which character do you most relate to/identify with? (does not necessarily need to be your #1 fave)
which character do you think you would be good friends with? (does not necessarily need to be your #1 fave)
are there any popular characters you just don't care for?
are there any unpopular characters you absolutely adore?
london institute, new york institute, or los angeles institute?
you can spend one day with a character of your choosing. who are they and what are you doing together? (does not necessarily need to be your #1 fave)
you can choose to own any one item that exists in the tsc world. it will not function in our world and will only serve as a keepsake. what are you taking?
would you permanently hop into the shadow world if you could?
do you have any tsc merch? what is it?
have you ever met cassie?
have you made any close friends in the tsc fandom?
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conkers-thecosy · 5 months
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Congrats on reaching your yearly writing goal a month early! Your writing goal updates have been both encouraging and inspiring, and I was wondering if you had any tips or advice for documenting your writing progress?
I’ve never done it before, but with the new year coming around, I’ve been considering actually keeping track of my writing progress.
I hope my wording makes sense, and congrats again on meeting your goal! I love reading your work, and can’t wait to read more!
-Wolfsbane and Nettles
Hullo! 💛
Thank you so much for the congrats, and for the ask, too! Honestly I'm so pleased if I've done anything even remotely encouraging for you, I think it's so important in a community to help boost each other up and it makes me so happy to think I've been able to do that, even a teeny bit!
As far as advice goes, I think probably the best thing I can say is that there's nothing wrong with setting yourself low and/or achievable goals! I currently have a weekly word count goal of 2k words. Anyone who can maths will see that 52 weeks at 2k words does not add up to 200k, haha!
The reality is that originally my word count goal for the year was much lower, because I didn't want to pressure myself. Originally my weekly goal was only 1k words, and I didn't have a yearly goal at all, because I didn't think I would be able to maintain it for the year! As things went along, however, and I started to gain habits and momentum, I put my goal up to reflect this. After a month or so, I realised I'd put it up too high, and I lowered it again to 2k words a week.
Now, I did find that I was writing more than 2k words a week the majority of the time, but not always. We all have bad weeks, and I hadn't taken that into account at all! So, giving myself a lower weekly target helped keep me positive, gave me some wiggle room, and meant that I had that feeling of achievement every week when I crossed the finish line and continued to write even more!
I think it can be easy to put too much pressure on ourselves, which is why I'd encourage you to be kind, and really think about what you want the bare minimum to be. If you do more, that's wonderful! But, if you don't, you won't feel bad about it 😊
I really hope this helps you, and that it makes some kind of sense - I apologise if it's a bit waffly, haha!
tl;dr - Be kind to yourself, and set yourself achievable targets!
Thank you again for the ask! And good luck with your goals!!
Conkers 🌰
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g-xix · 3 months
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i agree with the stuff about Danny but saying that while having Ethan on your pfp... the shit he says to and about Faith and the way he lets his fan base talk about her is HORRID
No because tbh you're so right about this, im an Ethan lover-hater
Lover for Ethan bc: -He's just funny... He can give a joke, he can take a joke, he's made many iconic moments; he's funny. -Some of the hate he's gotten is so fucking unnecessary: "We're colleagues" - it wasn't a sensitively made comment but come the fuck on, the way that all these weirdos online called Ethan names and that he was disrespecting their friendships.... Sidemen undeniably feels overproduced and their content relies FAAR less on actual relationships and humour than it does on the production quality and concepts; of course it's valid for Ethan to feel more distant and colleague-like with his friends. -Big respect for overcoming depression, overcoming addictions, losing weight, becoming a physically and mentally better person. That takes character growth and commitment which shouldn't be downplayed.
Hater because: -Mia Malkova incident. Don't think it needs to be detailed - I've addressed the Faith Kelly hate in great detail before in THIS POST... Couple defining thoughts are that Ethan fucked up hard when he j let Mia sit flush on his crotch. No es bueno. And he's clearly regretful... But I wonder whether he's regretful because of the consequences - i.e. Faith being pissed w him, or out of empathy towards Faith, that it was a stupid thing to do considering he's a taken man -He's just a little bit... Brexit. I feel like Ethan's discriminative to some ppl. Idk where i saw this and i don't have an example really, but he's been racist/shown racial prejudices towards Vik b4 which is just jarring from anyone... And even with Josh, I feel like Ethan doesn't hold a neutral level of respect with, because he just sees Josh as "old" and thus stereotypes him as boring -Boyish, sexist, rowdy, too loud... Just personal taste, he's not my favourite person and that's okay tbh. I don't like him because those are some of his features which I can identify and they just don't align with my personal logos, hence he's not someone that I'm interested in following. Alternately, there's many fans that ik love and support him, which i also respect. It's all subjective and that gives no reason for my opinion to be any less or more important than anyone else's.
Reason why I have Ethan as my pfp?
Well, I have a folder of funny little screenshots from YouTube vids which I alternate between using as reaction images and pfp's, tbh...
Making this account, the Ethan one was pretty easy to use - fit the box pretty well n all, hence I used that. No personal bias for or against him, the ss of him was available and i saw no problem in using it as a pfp
May change it sooner or later but tbh im not bothered ab it - anyone that follows my blog n these waffly posts probably realises im quite empathetic towards women and try and vocalise societal issues from women's perspectives, hence I would assume that one could manage to put 2 and 2 together to conclude that having Ethan as my pfp doesn't mean i fully and faultlessly support him nor his more morally dubious actions (particularly regarding Faith ml<3)
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Meet Cute Mondays Masterlist
Meet Cute Mondays (inspired by @boldlyanxious work!)
Nearly year's worth of Meet Cut Mondays (done over approx 2 years). And then I can be done with anything else a bonus.
(a new master list was required as I couldn't add anymore to my main masterlist)
MCM_1: I said that out loud didn’t I? (Jason X Marinette)
MCM_2: Help! You have weapons (Roy X Marinette)
MCM_3: Quick! Drive! (Roy X Marinette)
MCM_4: Libraries (Jason X Marinette)
MCM_5: Coffee Gods (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_6: MariJon Day 2 (Jon X Marinette)
MCM_7: Collision Course (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_8: Frying Pans & Nail Clippers (Jason X Marinette)
MCM_9: A Journalist Dream (Lois X Marinette)
MCM_10: Moonbeam Kisses (Steph X Marinette)
MCM_11: Taking You Out (Jason X Marinette)
MCM_12: Of Meeting & Elevators (Jason X Marinette) [a continuation of MCM_8]
MCM_13: Rain in Gotham (Kon X Marinette)
MCM_14: Tea Leaves & Coffee Beans (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_15: Sunshine in Metropolis (Kon X Marinette) [a continuation of MCM_13]
MCM_16: Stolen Phones (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_17: Needles and Riddles (Duke X Marinette)
MCM_18: A blur of red and black (Roy X Marinette)
MCM_19: Pencil Trap (Steph X Marinette, Tim X Adrien)
MCM_20: Umbrella Hero (Duke X Marinette)
MCM_21: Falling like the leaves (Duke X Marinette)
MCM_22: Witches Potion (Wally X Marinette hints of Dick X Adrien)
MCM_23: Sunset (Artemis X Marinette)
MCM_24: Stress Baking (Red Hood X Marinette)
MCM_25: Optimus Prime (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_26: Cold Call (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_27: Alarms (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_28: Kiss with a Fist (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_29: Lead the Way (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_30: Cryptid Hunting (Tim X Marinette)
MCM_31: Can you parkour Robin? (Duke X Marinette) [prequel to MCM 17]
MCM_32: Art Attack (Terry x Marinette)
MCM_33: Trinkets and Surprises (Jason x Marinette)
MCM_34: Troll Trophy (Jason x Marinette)
MCM_35: Hammy (Damian x Marinette)
MCM_36: Bathroom Matchmaking (Duke X Marinette)
MCM_37: Head Shot (Jason x Marinette)
MCM_38: Hidden Traps (Jason x Marinette)
MCM_39: Terror Twins (Kon x Tim x Marinette)
MCM_40: A Proposal (Roy x Marinette)
MCM_41: Are waffles that important? (Steph x Marinette)
MCM_42: Flossing (Duke X Marinette)
MCM_43: A garden of Waffly delights (Steph x Marinette)
MCM_44: Fashion Disaster (Tim x Adrien)
MCM_45: Coffee on the Rocks (Wally x Marinette)
MCM_46: Lying in the Rain (Steph x Marinette)
MCM_47: Fairy Calls (Roy x Marinette)
MCM_48: Flaws of Masterpieces (Hints of Kon x Marinette and Tim x Adrien)
MCM_49: Panicked at the Disco (Jason x Marinette)
MCM_50: Taco walk on the wild side (Jason x Marinette)
MCM_51: Don't let me fall (Roy x Marinette)
MCM_52: Au Revoir and see you round ... Probably never! (Donna x Marinette)
MCM_Bonus: Meet a sister, catch a girl (Kon x Marinette)
MCM_Bonus: Metal Glueing (Roy x Marinette, Felix x Jason)
MCM_Bonus: Seeing Green (Roy x Marinette)
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druidx · 7 days
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Sending some warm vibes your way: 🍵🌻🫂
How is your fic treating you?
Aww TY *pours a cuppa for us both* 🫖️
The fic... The fic about Elo... The fic chosen especially to torture Elo... Elo's fic. That fic?
It's slow. Last week I only managed 1,400 words, and I know it's because I'm dragging my feet over the next bit because it's such a crucial part of the story. But the original draft here is so waffly and messy and yuck that I don't want to wade through it and I'm finding literally every other thing far more interesting. My bathroom has never been cleaner 😅️
But I have plenty of time before it's due to be posted, so I can either pick away at it, or find a space to be like "//cracks knuckles// Right, let's get you sorted then" 😆️ (It'll probably be the latter if I'm honest. There's going to be a lot of high-level concepts which are best tackled with a clear head all in one go.)
Anyway. Thank you for enquiring, and I hope you don't mind my desultory mooch at you. Hope the spring has brought you fic-movement too, however slow it is 🧡️
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ajokeformur-ray · 18 days
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would love it if you posted more self shipping stuff and i’m sure others would!
ahhh i’m not much of a writer as yourself, i like to daydream but think it always sounds clunky and poorly thought out when i put it into words so forgive me hahah - my story happens post movie though!
after arthur was put away and his flat was put on the market i moved in not knowing it was his! i kept getting his mail sent to me and was determined to do right and get it sent on to him (i’m stubborn like that about admin lol) what i thought would be a simple task turned into an increasingly complicated mission of trying to find a forwarding address, plus my curiosity grew about who this previous tenant was when all the neighbours spoke about him so evasively. i eventually am able to track him down to arkham! it took such a hassle to find him, so instead of just dropping the post off with the officials, i ask to meet the man so i can put a personality to him (by this point i’m shocked to find out this “arthur fleck” is the same man as the “joker” on the news a few months ago) we meet (through the usual prisoner visit way) and i, slightly embarrassed, explain i just wanted to return his mail to him and he’s both incredibly touched and lightly bemused that a total stranger would go through such effort to sort out such an inconsequential thing for him just because it’s the “right” thing to do. with the silliness of the situation, the ice is kind of broken and we talk a little bit. when it’s time for me to go, he asks if i’ll come see him again (sweet thing doesn’t get any visitors outside of the occasional nosey journalist) and because i’m lonely in this new city and he seems sweet i say yes! and the rest… becomes history! (i also have an alternative version of my story that’s more joker centric than arthur centric where i’m still the new tenant in his old apartment, and joker breaks out of arkham and is surprised to find a stranger living in his home haha)
sorry that’s so waffly and clunky! but you inspired me to share!
I do need to get back into writing and self-shipping, life is... So much right now, it's actually TOO MUCH, but tonight you've made me remember what actually makes me happy -community engagement on here, loving Arthur, and writing 🩷🥺 all things I thought I'd forgotten how to do. So will definitely be sharing more in future!!!
This doesn't sound clunky or poorly thought out???!!! It flows so beautifully and I can really see the drive to return Arthur's mail to him and trying to find out who he is. I loooooove the idea of living in his apartment after him; Anderson Ave is infamous now and the apartment you're in had a body left in it to rot for who knows how long (probably a few hours once Joker killed Murray so I doubt Randall's corpse was left in Arthur's home for long🤢), and just being surrounded by his home before you've even met???? Talk about home being where your heart is🥺🥺🥺
God, this is so gorgeous and I can really see it happening!!!! Thank you for taking the time to share this and write it out 🥺🩷 AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON JOKER HASDFGHJKL 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😍😍😍😍😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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trsf-theblog · 7 months
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S5.E4 "The End" Musings
Okay, okay, I thought of something to discuss! I've got the boys playing on my TV as I (attempt to) write and it's the 2014 Croatoan episode. This is one of my favorite episodes. But I have thoughts! And questions! So why not share them :)
It's never clarified in the show, but I always assumed that Zachariah didn't throw Dean into the future so much as...craft one that served his purposes. My reasoning!
Chuck: Chuck as God ditched once the apocalypse was averted in the OG timeline (end of Season 5). I don't think he'd stick around in the Croatoan verse. Zachariah obviously didn't know Chuck was God, which is why I think he threw him in. (side note: this could also be because the writer's hadn't decided Chuck was god yet, but since we're going with canon, it is what it is :D)
Future Dean's Behavior: It's not out of character for Dean to be cold, hardened, and angry. It worked so well for this episode. But the fact that like, the second thing out of his mouth is "Say yes to Michael" just had a liiiittle too much of Zachariah's influence. It was very convenient, serving the angel's purpose. Perhaps too convenient. Not to say that Dean didn't go through a lot. Oh boy, he did. But I always felt even a broken Dean would have had a couple things for 2009!Dean to do, and saying yes to Michael wouldn't have been the first (and only) one.
Multiverse: the show never clarifies how time travel works, so it's hard to say if Croatoan 2014 was an offshoot of the timeline. A possibile future, but not the only one. I like this theory more than there being one fixed future. Which is why I think Zachariah either rooted around for the perfect one (he's kinda too lazy for that...), or picked one close enough and made some tweaks.
Angelic Pocket Dimensions: The show did make pocket dimensions as an angelic power canon (at least archangels). Zachariah may have the ability, or may have asked Michael to craft what he needed (I'm not entirely sure it's Michael's style, so this may be a little wiffle-waffly)
Dean Suspects its a trick: Dean even asks Zachariah if this is a trick, and that douche only says "the time for tricks is over". Convenient, now that your last trick is over :D It's just too fitting for Zach's normal tactics for it not to be at least somewhat of a manipulation.
Anyhoo, nothing particularly solid, just my thoughts as I watched through it over the years. It actually took all those years before it even occured to me that it wasn't just a manipulation, and it could have been meant to be a real future. Why is this important? Omg, it's totally not XD Just the musings of a writer who may, or may not, be including this episode in TRSF (which means I may, or may not, need to define the guidelines of throwing a human into the future and/or crafting one around him). But I'm curious what other fans' take on this episode was! Do you think it was a legitmate future, untouched by Zachariah? Or a full pocket dimension instead? Something in between? Gimme your thoughts on how this one worked! And any other musings. I may or may not need the inspiration in the future XD (The way, waaaay future. Oh god, Season 5? We have soooo far to go. But let's just pretend we don't for the sake of some fun conversation :D)
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rannadylin · 1 year
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And...done! Ribbings are all knitted, ends are woven in, it has had a brief soak and will now lay here till dry. (I might actually stretch it out a little more and pin it to block the lace pattern out flatter but on first impulse, I think I kind of like the waffly texture and I don't want to stretch it too much - unblocked it was plenty wide, although if I block it top-to-bottom only it shouldn't end up tunic length like the cat top did. :-D)
Pattern: Wanda Vest
Yarn: Knit Picks Upcycle Alpaca. Bought it on sale to give it a try...probably won't buy it again. Pretty rough in texture, so it was not great to knit with; plus...
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Not particularly colorfast, especially not for a commercial yarn. Beautiful color though, let's just hope it doesn't fade too much over the years!
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tunneltalkpod · 7 months
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The Idiot 'You'
NEW EP! Allie's still off experiencing #vanlife, so Lea and Anne are joined by Sarah (@awfullywaffly) of the Waffly Bollox podcast! You would not believe how much happens when you take two weeks off podcasting and then there's a PPV. We take a little time to celebrate the things we did not have to have takes on while we were out, and then get into the many, many wrestling events of the week, including rating new man Edge! No — Adam. Adam something. Don't worry about it. Anyway, we hit the important stuff — Hangman's bad gear, Mark Davis's butt, who's punched Sammy, how Julia Hart is doing House of Black better than any of the men, and so much more!
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catysharksstuff · 8 months
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AGING
I am 46. That's the kind of age that feels honestly a bit meaningless. Not young -far from young-but not necessarily old, yet. I still have most of my health intact, although there are some things I am reluctant to do these days; and my bones, joints, tendons, muscles, ache far more than I think is reasonable. My eyesight is poor. My hearing, patchy. And I am so, so tired so much of the time. But then again there's nothing much I can't do. I can walk (run-even), lift heavy weights, swim, climb stairs, cycle, travel, sleep in most beds without undue suffering.
So that is sort of what middle-life feels like. I probably have less in front of me than behind me, and that fact is not actually sickening. I AGING it to be all over; far from it. But I do find myself wondering what "the rest" will look like. What do I actually went from the rest of my life?
Aging is a strange phenomenon. It happens to all of us - the lucky of us at any rate. But it seems also to be such a personal experience*. When I stop and take stock, as I am want to do on some occasions, I find myself struggling with the reflectiveness. Maybe I'm more of a forward looker than a past looker? Or, maybe, I’m simply one that just has profound difficulty being "ok" in the present. I’m rarely satisfied in whatever "now" is. The memory of the past always seems better, and the idea of the future seems always to be even more enticing. Though the truth is, at the age of 46 "the future" might well not be any better, worse, or different from “the now".
(This is a bit waffly…. apologies. Then again one of the self imposed constraints of this exercise ([see here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sXV4QRJW-IBOv_lL2P6l-vH10GF8Ghpn/view?usp=drivesdk)) is to allow myself to flow, stream-of- consciousness style, without too much editorializing. So it is what it is)
OK, so honest reflection: what is life like at age 46? What is it like to have circumnavigated this globe forty-six times and to contemplate another forty odd (why not be optimistic?) of the same?
Honestly? In most things and in most ways, I am pretty happy with my life so far. I feel in some ways that I have "arrived" in my 40s, in ways that completely eluded me in my 20s and 30s (I'm not even going to ponder the mess that I was in my teens). I have found a stability and a rhythm that is both sustainable and enjoyable. I like my work, but it doesn't take too much from me. I like my home, but I am not so desperately enamoured with it that I could never leave. I love my little family - a good man and three terrific cats - and I enjoy spending my time in their collective company. I like being part of larger families, in Canada, the UK, and Australia. I don't feel like I'm tied to anywhere, or anything, or even anybody. That has been the one constant in my inconstant life, and I'm used to it now.
Maybe the thing is, simply, at this point, I look at what I have - whether by effort or luck or a combination thereof - and I feel contented. Which is great! Lovely! Don’t misunderstand me! I honestly recognize the immense good fortune in what I have. And - really- there should be no "but" that comes after. But I am human and so I think there will always be some kind of "but", otherwise what is the point of existence? 
(And yes, we will get into that. And yes, a state of neither desire nor aversion can be thought of as bliss or nirvana or enlightenment, and so who the heck am I to be searching for a "but"? And yet here we are...)
But what, then, of the next forty? There are no children by whom to set the pace of life. There are families for whom we are, both (he and I), the peripheral Aunt and Uncle. We are important, but not essential. There are parents who are aging in seriousness, but who are also self-sufficient and more centered in the orbits of their grand children. So there are no particular family bonds of requirement there, more family bonds of possibility and the perennial hope that travel continues possible, convenient and inexpensive.
There are careers, or whatever one calls our current exchange of effort for salary, and we are both doing fine in that regard; but (and I can say this quite certainly), neither of us would stick with it if there were to be a marvellous influx of revenue that did not require us to maintain the daily grind. There's a lovely home in an agreeable city, but there are other homes in other cities that might also be agreeable or even lovely.
So I guess where I'm at is a reckoning with what is, and what will likely continue apace, notwithstanding a delightful financial windfall some how. But then I am also looking out ten years and seeing that this phase of life could easily end there (my pension being what it is) and wondering - well, what then? And I just don't know. And perhaps I'm not meant to know- lots can happen in ten years. But all the same, time passes on and I would like to be ready for it.
Maybe that is the thing about aging. At every point one is wondering if one is “doing life right”, and ��am I where I am meant to be?” Until such time as one feels quite confident saying one *is* where one is meant to be - and that maybe comes simply because one has reached a level of maturity that one really understands that one *can* only be exactly where one is. And then the inevitable question becomes" well! where am I going to go next?" And that’s where I am even as I age in this place with my very nice thank you life as it is. 
So as I embark on the second half ... I just don't know. But aging is what it is, so I might just have no choice but to climb aboard the meat sack known as catyshark and see where it goes.
* Which is actually the point of this series of essays: what does it all mean? [More here.](https://www.alphabetsuperset.com/)
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I'm being waffly about what I want to work on but I don't have Tumblr polls yet to help me decide so I'm going to watch the new Puss In Boots movie because I keep hearing good things about it.
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alastairstom · 10 months
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for your tsc ask game: 8. who is your #1 god-tier all-time fave character? gun to your head, you can only choose one. don't be waffly.
why would i waffle when the answer is so clear?
TRUMPETS PLAY AS HE MAKES HIS DRAMATIC ENTRANCE
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Matthew Fairchild, at your service.
((Send more!!))
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beargraphs · 10 months
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Important. rule & price change.
tis a sad day, my friendly homies.
so - i've ran beargraphs ( and extension other graphic blogs ) as pretty much a free resource for a fair bit now. of course, i love helping people out & i love being flexible with people, but the fact of the matter is that it unfortunately can no longer be done.
for the record, i work pretty much full-time hours in a very physically arduous job - i'm exhausted around 90% of the time - and while this doesn't deter me from doing commissions ( and doing my best to do them fast! ) it does mean that i have certain time not to be able to do certain things.
a constant issue that i have experienced both on this blog ( and my old blog ) was people simply not filling out the form properly. i don't mind, at all, flexibility with clients and i am entirely understanding when it comes to lesser-known characters or obscure muses - but, i can't spend hours upon hours trawling the web for images of characters i don't know. this increases my work time by a substantial amount and always runs this risk of me still choosing the wrong image.
i beg of those commissioning me; please - please, provide me with images of your character. a good amount at a fair quality.
the other rule i have changed is blockquotes in my behemoth packages; bqs are a strange world to get into because some people who commission me simply have no need for them. as a result, i have decided to make them 'request only'. they will no longer be automatically included within any package, unless specifically asked for.
the final & biggest rule change - is that this blog is no longer 'pay what you want'. i still have tried to make my prices very cheap but i simply can't get by doing hours upon hours of work anymore for essentially nothing. this isn't a jab at anyone, this isn't me going back on my word. i, myself, am poor. i know the struggles of dealing with money and - as always - stated, i am understanding when it comes to money troubles. but...being commissioned for at least five hours of work and being paid nothing at the end of it, unfortunately - just isn't worth my time.
( i create free themes with the intention of helping those out who can't directly necessarily comm me )
in future - prices will be the set prices that you see on this blog and on my form. however, if you run into problems financially - i am more than happy to negotiate with you.
all in all; these really aren't changes that i wanted to make and this isn't a post that i wanted to plop on the dash because i understand it's a little grumpy. it's purely from the perspective of someone being overly busy with very little reward & in all honesty, i have found myself incredibly burnt out regarding commissions in the last few months as a result of these tiny things that are easily corrected.
so yeah - ! that's the long, waffly post - !
tldr; prices are now set, blockquotes are available only request & i BEG people to full out the commission form as concisely and clearly as possible! thank you~!
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suddenrundown · 2 years
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I was rewatching Leverage: Redemption with my girlfriend, and had a sudden thought about the Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist AU - when Elliot starts hanging out with Maria Shipp in the AU, Parker starts worrying that maybe he wants a more “normal” relationship than the one that she and Hardison can provide him. And then the Hurricane Job happens, and Maria is flirting with Elliot during all the chaos, and Elliot launches into “Shut Up And Fish” by Maddie and Tae in the song space, and Parker realizes that Elliot is ABSOLUTELY not romantically interested in Maria.
Ok first of all, this delights me for so many reasons: A) I didn't know this song existed until now and I'm cackling because B) we know that Eliot thinks that fishing with someone he loves is THEE epitome of romance but you know who doesn't know that? Parker, because she wasn't there when Nate heard Eliot singing about his love for Hardison fishing all those years ago in his kitchen, and in the past 10 years since, she hasn't gone out with them on the one, maybe two times that Eliot's convinced Hardison to go again, so she doesn't hear him sing it then either (although, if she were there, he totally would be singing "fishing in the dark", that's just fact lol).
So maybe she doesn't know about this very specific fantasy of his, but she does know Eliot and she's gotten very good over the years at interpreting the meaning behind the heartsongs she hears, so......
(also, I don't know if you were specifying that the ot3 were in a relationship or if you were sticking to canon, but when I was thinking about this ask today I kept thinking of it in terms of canon and this waffly non-relationship they seem to be in, so)
Poor Parker is having this weird "I'm gonna crawl out of my skin" type of feeling, and she doesn't really understand it. Sure, she feels like a drowned rat and the hotel they're in is swarming with corrupt cops so no wonder, but that's not it. Not really.
When she looks over and sees Eliot and Maria standing close, scheming up some sort of plan (without her), it's very....couple-y. She tries not to get distracted with wondering why she feels that way. It's not because she dislikes Maria, and if Eliot trusts her then she can trust her, she guesses. Parker's not gonna tell Eliot who to spend his time with.
(He hasn't spend any time with her, lately.........huh. *skin crawling intensifies*).
Eliot does eventually make his way back over, wordlessly asking her with a specific look if all's good on her end, and she's distracted for a moment by country music that's starting to play through the room to give a reply, so she nods for him to follow her around the corner and through the kitchen door (it's still playing, but vaguely muted).
"I have the mics wired above the cops' rooms," she tells him.
"S'good," he replies, "anything been said yet?"
"No." She shivers a little and pulls at the wet fabric sticking to her neck.
"You alright?"
"Yeah," she says dismissively, though it isn't true. She feels icky. "What are you and the marshal doing?"
"Maria thinks we'll get somewhere if we wait it out a bit".
There's something hesitant there, and she doesn't really want to get in the middle of it, but she asks anyway, "Well what do you think?"
"S'fine, Honestly though, I could tell pretty fast she has more than just bass on her mind."
She's about to ask what that means, but then the music that's been muted suddenly is all around them from no particular source, and all at once she realizes the source is actually Eliot when he sings:
♫Oh I was fishing, she was wishing we were kissing, I was getting madder than a hornet in an old Coke can ♫
Parker blinks and wordlessly watches him slide up beside her.
♫ Getting closer, sliding over, crowding up my casting shoulder, reaching out and tryna hold my reeling hand♫
There's warmth now where he's pressed into her, a familiar kind but not one she's felt lately as he puts an arm around her shoulder.
♫And saying I'm pretty, saying she's in love, and how it don't get any better than this♫
It leaves just as quickly as he pulls away, sliding away again.
♫I say yeah it could girl, if you would shut up and fish♫
The song ends just as abruptly as it began, and Eliot runs a hand through his hair, slightly agitated. "You know?"
Well.....no. He sang through what he was saying in reality, so she doesn't know, but she nods anyway.
"I can do a perimeter check in the vents," she says, not sure how well that lines up with their plans.
"Sounds good."
When they part ways and she climbs into the nearest vent, she takes a moment to orient herself, and to think about the heartsong. And how warm Eliot is, even soaking wet.
"He really likes fishing," she giggles to herself, suddenly feeling far less icky than she had been.
For some reason.
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