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under-loch-n-key · 3 months

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To anyone who is able to vote this year, please listen!

I know I haven't been posting much art lately. Sorry about that. I have been having some burn out and my mental health has been shit.

Anyways, I figured I would post what's been on my mind today.

I know many of us who currently live or are born in The States/USA have felt pretty hopeless with everything going on in the country at the moment. Especially because of the whole Biden V Trump shit that has been going on for a long while.

We have felt like that no matter who we vote for it's honestly pointless because either Biden or Trump will win. Well, honestly I would HIGHLY recommend checking out Mrs. Marianne Williamson.

Marianne Williamson is the only person in the Democratic party who has been calling for a ceasefire over in Gaza since the very beginning.

She stated that if she becomes the president she is going to be negoiating with the Ukraine and going to try and do as much as she can to help.

She, if she becomes president, wants to establish a Department of Peace because she believes that we need to better target and discuss peace just as much as we do war.

She wants to fight climate change.

She wants to make healthcare and college universal and free.

She wants to help disabled communities.

She wants to give land back to Indigenous tribes.

She wants to create more gun safety laws.

She wants to make jobs and homes more accessable.

She wants to help protect reproductive rights.

She wants to target mental health and make it more accessable to the people.

She wants to put more POC, LGBTQIA+, and disabled people into our government to be certain that when they are discussing matters that personally target those communities, people who represent those communities can speak their minds on it.

She wants to provide funding over the span of two decades to the black communities for the years of slavery that our country has put them through.

She wants to target poverty and the economy as a whole.

And lots more.

If you'd like to read up on her and what she stands for, you can find that -> here

Please spread this around as much as possible! We need a president who stands with Gaza, the LGBTQIA+ Community, the POC community, the Disabled Community, etc. She is that. She is just aaa. I checked out here site and was not disappointed. You can find her main site -> here

I just wanted to say that there's hope!!!! I know who has my vote this year. Please make sure you vote this year!

(Sorry for typos-)

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bokettochild · 2 years

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the reason you aren’t saying specifically why you’re uncomfortable writing it is because you don’t want to come out and say you’re homophobic lmao

Alright, Anon, you want to know? You really want to know? You want me to say why I don't like writing romance? Okay! I'll tell you! Since you're so desperate to know! Since y'all keep asking for it! Since people keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing!

Warning! If you push, I may be quiet but I do snap!

I was abused for over a decade by an elder sibling who claims to have had a crush on me the whole time.

I watched my parents fight and spent my nights having nightmares that they would break up and split my family and destroy it.

My parents had so many children that they could only focus on the ones with special needs and as the only somewhat normal kid, with no physical, mental, or learning disabilities, difficult allergies, or temper issues, I fell into the background and got forgotten more often than not unless they needed me to take care of someone else.

I had to help raise seven children and my abuser because my family couldn't afford to live unless both my parents worked and neither of my older siblings wanted to watch the kids. Those kids would regularly tell me how much they hated me, said I should kill myself, and told me to go to hell. They would also leave me to run a house and a small farm, struggle through highschool, and tend an infant and toddler mostly be myself because no one wanted to help and I couldn't make them.

The first time someone had a crush on someone in my family it was a weird stalker who wouldn't leave her alone and my mom had to threaten the guy with a gun to get him to back off because he wouldn't listen to 'no'.

The second time a guy showed interest, he was an abusive and manipulative ass that threatened my sister's life when she tried to part ways with him.

I grew up basically locked in my house with all human beings having to be screened by my parents before we were allowed to hang out, and the moment they were displeasing we would stop seeing them. I have never been allowed around people my own age without my parents hanging over my shoulder.

The one guy to have a crush on me came on way too fast and adoring and it scared the living crap out of me for one reason; I have been taught that I have to earn any love I receive, but I must give without question. This boy? He was our pastor's son whom my parents let past because they knew him and his family and didn't think twice about him and me as a couple.

He came at me like a golden retriever with big ol' puppy eyes and a wide smile and respected me as a human being. It scared me so much I broke up with him as soon as he started talking serious about us. He tried getting back together a few weeks ago and I had to explain to him, like I am with you now, that I haven't a single flying clue what healthy love is, romantic or platonic. (He's a great person, but he deserves healthy love, not what I can give.)

That's why I write. I write because I'm trying to figure out people, trying to imagine why people care about each other.

I love the Chain because my only therapy throughout my life was finding stories about people who found others who would care for them and love them even though their families wouldn't. I like imagining one day it could happen to me, and I could maybe experience care where I don't have to work myself to tears and nightmares to earn a 'thank you' or a 'good job' instead of 'finally!' or a 'I hate you'.

I write the Chain as I do because I am trying to figure out what a healthy family is, and how they would work through their issues, their traumas and their hurts. I write the relationships I write because I am trying to imagine what it would like to be in them.

Found family? I can try and cope with my trauma.

Romance? That scares the crap out of me.

The only ships I am even slightly comfortable with writing are those of figures I see as being parental in one way or another. Why? Because if the parents aren't happy with each other, then the family will break and be hurt. So I try and write happy couples as parents and include just enough for you to know they love each other, and then leave it at that.

Do I understand why they love each other? No! Do I know how they fell in love? Beats me!

With this in mind, maybe I am homophobic, but if I am, then I am also hetrophobic, because gender doesn't change my fear of love.

If you wanted me to agree, that's as close as I think you will get.

But there you are, Anon, that is why. You wanted answers, so I gave you my answers: love scares me and romance is the most intense and terrifying kind of love.

Hope you're happy with your answer!

#personal #abuse tw #homophobia mention #neglect mention #neglect tw #abuse mention #stalking mention #i wish i could still physically cry

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sootonthecarpet · 2 years

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Hey feel free to ignore but uh. You seem like a guy who has sex? And I was wondering if you had any good resources abt safe sex etc esp from a trans friendly angle? I recently started dating my bf and it's both of our first relationships ever (in our mid 20s lol) so we want to eventually Do It but we're taking our time and trying to be safe about it and I kinda feel like I don't even fully know what I don't know??? They also seem to have more just baseline knowledge abt this stuff than me and I don't want to seem like I'm not taking things seriously or something :/

(Also if I can complain for like 5 seconds it's super frustrating how all the info online seems to be that condoms should be everywhere and super easy to find but I literally haven't seen any since my high school library was giving them out half a decade ago!!!! Like I've been trying gas stations corner stores etc and I just don't see them idk if I'm just missing them or looking in the wrong place or what 😡😭 /rant over)

hey, congrats! it's really cool that you and your bf are getting to figure this stuff out together! i don't think you happening to know less to start off with would make you look frivolous, not your fault it's hard to find good honest useful sex ed info right now, and you seem like you're being totally thoughtful about this! going slow and doing research is good, imo it's a good idea to be upfront with your bf about feeling like they know more than you--it can be really weird to feel less aware than ur partner about like Anything, and talking it out so you know what their expectations towards you are can help a lot, plus sometimes you find out they've been feeling the same way. I am always saying to talk about it to em though.

I know a decent chunk about safe sex but it's been gathered up piecemeal rather than from like, specific, recommendable resources, so I can give pointers in theory (guess you can ask me specific questions if you have any? if I can't answer I can always look em up) but it's harder to point you along to a proper source of info. i must have read Primed at some point, and it goes around posts on here a lot, but I don't really remember firsthand how useful or comprehensive it was, beyond being a resource booklet aimed at male couples involving at least one trans guy. I'm sure there are a lot of other guides at this point, too! but I'm not really sure how to find em, off the top of my head. I feel like I learned a surprising amount about partnered sex and safe sex practices from reading sex toy review blogs (thoughtful longform stuff in the vein of heyepiphora).

this is kinda silly but it helped me back in the day; wikipedia has a lot of articles on sex acts (and different kinds of contraceptives and barriers, source links here can get you to VERY useful info on em!!!) and I feel like they may help you wrap your head around stuff you may not have much context on. like even just the 'sex positions' article is like, a decent starter place--it uses heteronormative language intermittently and VERY cisnormative language throughout + has a fair amount of chaff, but it's also a remarkably comprehensive list of all kinds of configurations for penetrative and non-penetrative sex, & even describes how simpler acts like frottage and mutual masturbation can work (which often gets skipped over 😭). it's kinda crap if you have to juggle like, physical disabilities or the ways that fatness can change how two people's bodies interact, and includes a lot of obscure, back-hurty-lookin penetrative sex positions that get disproportionate use in porn, but it can definitely be a good jumping off point for poking around online for more info, or introduce you to new concepts/bolster your faith in your interest in something you were thinking about but weren't sure was A Thing People Actually Do In Bed.

also akxlaldf listen about half the condoms I've used in my Life came from a huge amount of free ones I accumulated in one summer like nine years ago (volunteered at an LGBT center and would take one or two home from the free bin every day, plus got a big bag of freebies at a transmarch) like ??? I do see em in stores in my area, but they can be so weirdly annoying to find when you're actually looking for em. if you can online order, most sex toy sites (like shebop or goodvibes or whatever the fuck) will also sell condoms in singles and multipacks (& usually a lot more kinds than you'd find in a store, which can make it nice if you're specifically needing to find unlubricated, flavored, bigger ones, latex free, etc).

but yeah feel free to message if you have specific questions, I wish I could provide better info off the bat 😆 also some extremely miscellaneous stuff that's like, entry level but still worth repeating: it's helpful and common to like, pop a pillow under your hips to improve your angle (wedge pillows are your friend if you happen to have one around) or grab a footstool to even out heights if you're doing something standing up, stuff like that. you can nab a cushion or kneepads if anyone's gonna be kneeling on a hard surface too. a longer strap-on can be helpful when figuring out positioning, so you don't need to get your pelvises as close together to make it work. talk stuff over ahead of time if you can, both to get more familiar with what you and your partners' wants are and to help sketch out some approximate boundaries ahead of time. sex toys are a great convenience, but get 'body safe' materials if you can; silicone, metal, glass, and most hard plastic toys can all be sterilized; PVC rubber, 'jelly' toys and ones made out of what's often called cyberskin or sexflesh or stuff like that (TPE, thermoplastic elastomer) can't, and some may let off harmful chemicals like phthalates (or just plain disconcerting oils and aromas) as the plastic breaks down. (if you're goin for it anyway? PVC holds up ok but is a bit stiff, TPE feels luxurious but rips SOOO easy, and I've never bothered with jelly.)

there's never any shame in finding certain sex acts, or just certain elements of intimacy, overwhelming or stressful! your like process of developing a sexual awareness and skill set doesn't have to follow any set pattern, and you and your bf are always allowed to make concessions to be sure your n their own boundaries and needs are met (I get overwhelmed easily on a sensory level, and I had a long term relationship where I wore gloves almost every time I fingered my partner bc the mix of textures was a lot for me at the time, regardless of how we swapped fluids regularly).

you probably heard this one before a whole bunch, but i legally can't let u go without saying that peeing after sex as soon as you're ready to get up is a VERY good idea, regardless of your anatomy--it flushes out your urethra, which helps reduce your risk of getting a urinary tract infection (which isn't rly about if the sex was protected or not--it's just easy for bacteria from other places on your own body to be introduced to your urethra during sex, regardless of ur partner's saliva/fluids.) no shame if it doesn't work, I got a uti from jackin it once, stuff happens! which brings me to my conclusion, which is that u gotta always keep in mind how weird and awkward and funny sex is and that it's normal and good for it to be all those things. excited for u! wishing u well.

#anon

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soul-dwelling · 2 years

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(Below are some incomplete thoughts, that have been on my mind the last month, but that I haven't fleshed out in writing, towards answering a question submitted here about "plot armor" that I still haven't answered, and in light of the newest My Hero Academia chapters--so, spoilers.)

If you tell the audience, "So-and-so got weaker since their injury," how do you communicate that effectively to readers?

Because, where I sit, Hawks's actions in the series have not looked significantly weaker--except that we don't see him doing the specific awe-inspiring things he has done before, like having feathers listening in on people, or pulling people away from debris, or holding up a building. All of that is impressive.

And that is the problem: this is an "absence of evidence" problem--Hawks looks the same, still has superpowers, still is amazing in combat, but, first, "Hawks looks the same" _to me_, because I'm not paying attention to how his character design has altered to have fewer feathers and smaller wings, and second, as I said before, he's not doing the same stunts as before, so that is supposed to communicate that he has lost plot armor.

And all of this ties into a lot of offensive details engrained in my writing: "Hawks looks the same." I am being absolutely disablist to have that kind of a thought.

Oh, so, if someone doesn't look differently, suddenly that must mean they can just do the same stuff as before? How offensive is that of me--especially for someone like me who may look the same to other people but can't do stuff I used to thanks to changes in my health over the last decade. Or, looking at someone and saying, "What do you mean you're disabled and can't do that--of course you can, I don't believe what you say because you look like you just can do it!"

(I once had a boss insist that a complete stranger--a random bystander--and I engage in physical heavy work to move items and hold open doors. Regardless how the stranger insisted that they couldn't due to physical injuries, my boss refused to believe them and tried to pressure them into helping--my boss did this to a stranger. Thank goodness that stranger refused and ignored my boss's ridiculous bullshit--what an asinine person my boss was. And no matter how many times I told my boss, "I can't physically do this without injuring myself," my boss refused to believe me and, once I finished the task, complained I took too long and took up too much of their time. Is it any wonder my boss still has their job and made sure I got fired? God, I should have filed complaints, given so much disablism, prejudice, and workplace problems caused by that boss...)

This all leads to the point I'm trying to get at: this is one reason I think My Hero Academia is making the injuries for Jirou and Endeavor so obvious, and injuries that are going to affect their lives and their work this point moving forward forever, if only because, with Hawks, he can still do a lot of what he did before, but communicating that in static images is harder (you can say he is not as fast as before, but how do you visualize that panel to panel, whereas in animation it is more obvious?), whereas a still frame of Jirou or Endeavor immediately communicates what has changed and how much more difficult things are going to be for them living and working.

(Still doesn't explain the lack of more merchadise showing Aizawa and Mirko after their injuries. I know the reasons offered by fans is, "The anime has't gotten there yet," but I can't shake off the feeling that the merchandise is not wanting to show characters with disabilities as consumable products.)

#cw: disablist #mha spoiler #mha spoilers #long post

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rivertalesien · 3 years

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Not to push or anything but ima little surprised you haven't chimed in on the Happiest Season discourse. Seen it yet?

Hokey doke. Since you asked.

I have been thinking. Most of the mobbish hype against HS/Harper is so off to me because instead of discussing the dynamics of being in the closet and dealing with a toxic family (admittedly an over-used trope), those who hate on Harper seem to be, by and large, people who blame the audience as toxic and unintelligent (making it personal and less about "opinion" and more about controlling the conversation around something they hate), saying some fans are abuse apologists (whoah) who have no idea how to appreciate what is good. That kind of shame and blame pile-on? We’ve seen it before. Funny how it keeps coming around (and sometimes with the same characters involved).

We’re all entitled to our opinions, but not to use them as bludgeons to belittle others. That’s where “discourse” always goes wrong.

And it’s just wild to me listening to people criticizing this kind of story, as if so many haven't actually lived it, for DECADES, even today, even in other parts of the world where the expression of our love for one another could bring harm or even death. Coming out is still a complicated process. It's a privilege to be able to say This is Garbage and You're Garbage for Accepting It, when you don't live those conditions. It’s also unkind, ungenerous and lacks insight. Making opinions personal against others in the community, against people whose experiences are not the same as yours? There’s some egotistical assholes out there who are just never wrong. Know it when you see it and avoid.

What would have made this story acceptable for some, though? What if Harper were Black or POC? What if Harper were disabled in some highly visible way? If her family lived below the poverty line? Maybe there is something subversive about taking this Hallmark...hallmark... and adding a layer of real anxiety about who we are as people (not perfect, even capable of abuse), but also how this kind of storytelling is, traditionally, its own expression of warped values, usually the White Straight Christian Romance that couldn't be farther from real life. A perfect fantasy of perfect lives.

If you want perfection, this isn't the story for you. If you wanted Hallmark, this film is going to fuck with you. The wrapper is deceptive. That isn't this story. Harper represents a lot of people. So does Abby. Riley seems more of the fantasy. The one who looks like the One, but that's...Hallmark.

Hallmark wouldn't make this film because while it is completely their aesthetic, its beyond their understanding. I don't think Clea Duvall set out to make a Hallmark film. I think she set out to give a middle finger to Hallmark. Copying its aesthetic touches and goofy humor while being, at its heart, closer to the darker side of holidays and family life: reminders of abuse, of harm, of not being perfect and perpetuating the harm of past generations. If it doesn't work for you, maybe its more to do with classic expectations: Hallmark makes everything easy (and that’s not to say this film is perfectly executed).

Our experiences are nothing like Hallmark and nothing about this film had to be Hallmark. Was it likely that this particular team of women was going to give us a Hallmark Moment? Is that what we have come to expect from them?

I find it a little grotesque that we can't look at a presented relationship that is less than ideal without Rejecting it for being less than ideal in favor of the fantasy we’re attracted to (and that’s not the same thing as wanting a happy ending for the gays).

Riley is the fantasy that, if this were Hallmark, would get the girl. But both Abby and Harper deserve better than to fall for the Hallmark line: they deserve a chance to work on what they've built. That means we do, too.

#questions #the happiest season #online discourse #lgbtq characters #no short answers in this house #clea duvall #and didn't even get into the whole *white* christmas of it

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mrmccrimmon · 6 years

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I should've wrote this the day it occurred so it'd be fresh in my memory without a refresher. But anyway, the other day my mother had the goddamn audacity to say that "people are lying, talking about how they have Depression, if they did have Depression they'd be collecting a disability check. what they really want is attention and that is the wrong way to get it." I kid you not when I tell you I went verbally ballistic on her ignorant ableist ass! My mother has the tendency to talk shit about me, right in front of my face, but she'll refrain from using gender specific pronouns thinking she is being smart, but you don't have to be a fucking detective, you just need a fraction of intelligence and common sense to deduce who she's talking shit about to make an inference. When she said that I was honestly so fucking furious, but what makes it worse is that my younger siblings (16 year old brother and 14 year old sister) had the goddamn audacity to say " you're overreacting, she didn't even say you're name, you're just paranoid. you're probably not suicidal either because if you were, you would have committed suicide already. you're just bored, going to the extreme for attention." Oh yeah, and I guess people who are in wheelchairs but aren't double leg amputees don't deserve wheelchairs either, huh? Do you know how fucking ignorant they sound? Do they listen to themselves sometimes? You're trying to tell me, your 20 year old older brother, whose had Depression since I was 6 years old; whom at 6 years old took off one shoe, left it in the middle of the street, let go of my mother's hand to run and go get it in hopes I'd get hit by an oncoming vehicle; whom at 18 years old rolled out of a moving vehicle at 30 mph which could have potentially caused me to: snap my neck due to whiplash caused by the G-force, suffer either a severe concussion or a skull fracture alongside a “coup-contrecoup” which in turn could cause massive brain hemorrhaging, but luckily I only suffered massive and painful skin abrasions — “road rash,” as motorcyclists call it; whom at 19 years old overdosed on sleep medication, pain medication, and fever medication, then escorted to the hospital where they gave me intravenous fluids for hours, then to awaken after hours of being knocked out (asleep, not beaten nor restrained of course) to be brought to respite; whom at 20 years old tried to jump off of a bridge to plunge himself into the river, only to not have enough strength and courage to do it at the last moment. I've been to the psychiatric unit twice and to respite once. I've been to in-patient therapy and out-patient therapy. I've had 3 therapists and 2 counselors. I've had suicidal ideations for more than a goddamn decade and 4 suicide attempts within them. Is my Depression invalidated because my attempts to hurt myself with these suicide ideations in my mind, all have not killed me? Is my Depression invalidated because I haven't had a successful suicide attempt? Is my Depression invalidated because I'm still alive? These are all rhetorical questions because despite these things being underlined in these ignorant people's words, nobodies Depression is invalid, and in no fucking way are you invalid, and your suicide, suicide attempts, suicidal ideations, etc. shouldn't be something that validates someone's Depression because not everyone goes that far and no one should ever have to go that far as proof of your Depression. No one does this shit for fucking attention. No one fucking fakes this shit. It is real. It is happening.

#mr. mccrimmon said #depression #suicide mention #suicide #suicide attempts #suicidal ideations #abliesm #ableist families #no one does this shit for fucking attention #no one fucking fakes this shit #long post

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