Tumgik
#Centre cannot hold
jaegerbroshoe · 1 year
Text
Gale refusing the gloves when he thinks they’re Peeta’s but then taking them back when Katniss says they were Cinna’s… ABSOLUTE TRASH.
#oh and let’s not get into how he gets mad that katniss wants to bring peeta along when she suggests running away#I cannot stand this dude#he is literally so self-centred and arrogant#peeta never did anything bad to him in fact he’s a big reason katniss even made it through the hunger games#and the reason she survived starvation and actually began hunting#but instead of being grateful he’s just pissy and rude to him#even when peeta goes and takes care of his ugly ass after he gets whipped#he couldn’t even fathom the decency to be kind to him after he was tortured and hijacked#in fact he is literally jealous of him because he’s like ‘oh this makes katniss like you more than me’#like imagine that’s your takeaway regarding literal torture#he always makes everything about himself without regard to those who actually suffered more than a hurt ego#he was such a trash friend to katniss honestly#he acted like he owned her and no one else could be close to her#it’d be one thing if they had established a relationship before she left but they didn’t; he never confessed#so katniss owed him nothing but she literally spends all of catching fire trying to appease him#and being worried about how he will react to things she needs to do out of survival#instead of him comforting her after all the trauma she went through he just acted as one more thing for her to worry about#and he never apologizes for his behaviour while peeta acknowledges it’s not fair to hold it against katniss#but gale just has this mindset that he is the one who is owed an apology 🙄#all of this when he’s two years older than katniss and peeta too#talk about being immature and petty#the hunger games#misc#rant#my opinion
41 notes · View notes
speedyowl152 · 2 years
Text
Something i find fun, if Adrien and Félix are sentimonsters, is Adrien's feather allergy. Aside from the dramatic irony.
An allergy is where the body incorrectly labels an object as a threat, and the immune system reacts, or even dangerously overreacts, in ways which could be threatening to the person it's trying to protect.
If Adrien is a senti, then he's made from a feather, that's his soul. His allergy is targeting something that is already part of his being and biology. That means it's not an allergy, it's an autoimmune disease.
Allergies are genetic, as are predispositions to autoimmune diseases, and Adrien and Félix are genetically identical, though we don't know if Félix shares his allergy. It's possible it hasn't been activated yet. His odds of developing this could be heightened by a bunch of factors; illnesses, food, sunlight.
I'm excited to see if he'll share it or not, if being around duusu will be good for him (someone who understands, to befriend and vent to like Plagg is for Adrien) or bad for him (y'know, a health hazard).
Adrien having an autoimmune disease, maybe he's on immunosuppressants, maybe he's not. I think that could further explain some of Gabriel's actions, not justify them but make them make a little more sense.
After all, the feathers are in the rings, maybe that's a small part of why he hasn't been given his yet. Maybe it's part of why Gabriel has so little physical contact with him, he could give his kid a rash or worse.
If your kid has a weakened immune system and your wife is dying or gone, trying to keep that kid inside, reducing his and your own contact with people, especially other kids - because kids spread diseases like wild fire. I get it. It makes me feel really bad for them. Adrien doesn't even understand what his father's protectiveness is about, besides just losing Emilie. And Gabriel can't even begin to have that conversation with him without everything coming out. About why his feather allergy is such a big deal, about papillon and his wife.
Anyway I'm just thinking about how he ended up letting him go to school. About how he let Nino give him a party but absolutely would've been advising for it to be outside in the open air rather than letting a load of strange children into his clean house.
He really wasn't that bad of a dad at the start. But Nathalie's right, he's getting worse and worse. And I'm worried about how he'll cope and what he'll do without her, now that Adrien is the only close person to him that he has left. Beyond whatevers going on with Tomoe anyway.
#i dont like villains who are evil because theyre evil. theres always logic and understanding behind it#and i like how with miraculous you only need a few hcs for the villains to make sense and be human#chloe and lila are messed up from the absense of their parents. chloes spoilt and lonely#and lilas learnt she can manipulate her way to whatever she wants because her parents dont care enough to check. shes lonely too#and she gets rewarded everytime her manipulation works in her favour. its why she keeps doing it.#she makes friends the only way she knows how when she feels so different being constantly uprooted and neglected#félix has his life and freedom under threat. hes been working from the start to free himself#all while watching lb & cn destroy his kin everyweek. as his uncle controls his brother and keeps making new sentis to be sent to die#and gabriels the kind of person who simply cannot be trusted to hold power alone. and fundementally misunderstands other people#he doesnt know how to empathise and now he wields an emotion detecting miraculous he never needs to try.#its making him more and more self centred as his confidence is continuely knocked by children and time continues to pass without emilie#and hes managed to find a way to become even more alone#and nathalie just wants to do her best by the agrestes because shes come to love this family as if it were her own#and now shes realised enabling gabriel has only made things worse for everyone involved#i just. i like that stuff where theres logic beyond revenge on an accident or just sheer malice#where there isnt one root of all evil character#ml spoilers#ml s5e2 spoilers#ml s5e1 spoilers#evolution spoilers#multiplication spoilers#sentimonster theory#dont come at me to tell me im enabling abusers or being ableist or something okay#i literally have an autoimmune disease. i literally had 5 diseases at once last week.#i hate crowds and im crushingly lonely living in the closet at my parents#i will kin adrien and shove headcanons on him with hope itll end happily when they win as much as i please and you cannot stop me#hes immunosuppressed too i just called it ive manifested it get absolutely fucked#i wanna go to school/work and make friends and gain the courage to slowly claim back my identity for myself#and i will live that through a fictional 15 year old cat boy if i want. fight me.#own post
24 notes · View notes
brilliantstreet · 1 year
Text
The Second Coming
BY WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS
Turning and turning in the widening gyre   The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere   The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst   Are full of passionate intensity. Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand.   The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out   When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert   A shape with lion body and the head of a man,   A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,   Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it   Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.   The darkness drops again; but now I know   That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,   And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,   Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
12 notes · View notes
ffion451 · 1 year
Note
I'm back!
I have a confession to make. I read this the day you posted it, and I've spent the entire time marinating over what I wanted to say.
Do you believe in serendipity? I ask beacuse in a way, I releate to Taehyung so much--in the aspect of having unhealthy aspects in my personality that I did not consider to be bad due to my upbrining.
Recently, I've taken a step back to the point of cutting out my parents from my life for things that have been done to me in an effort to break the toxic cycle, for wanting to be and do better, and the fact that I found this story at the precise time--serendipity, I tell you.
I have to say, the choice you made to end this story makes me feel almost seen! You've taken this character with a very toxic trait and gifted him a chance to find someone who could see those traits for what they are--compartmentalized trauma that he's been desensitized from, and instead of punishing him, you granted him the opportunity to break the chains with the help of a beautiful support system.
Sorry not sorry, but I will not let you deny my awe of you!! This story was so much more. The depth, and the chance of healing, gosh. It feels like spring. Like rebirth. Like Demeter rejoicing at having her daughter back.
Thank you so much for writing this. I'm sorry that this platform seems to only be interested in the usual tropes. But I hope you know that, that does not make your writing any less. On the contrary, I feel like it's superior to most of the stuff I find here, and I want you to know that this story will carry a special place in my heart.
If and when you do decide to come back, I will be here. Sunflowers grow on the side of concrete roads, after all.
Be well. Be happy. And please don't ignore your writing muse, no matter what you decide to do with your talent.
-🌻
Beautiful, lovely 🌻- I’m so glad you finished the story! I have so much to say… Blow by blow reply below the cut - I’m afraid it’s a very lengthy reply - sorry! ☺️
Tumblr media
I do believe in serendipity. I don’t think I’ve used the phrase “that’s serendipitous” in any of my stories but irl I say it alarmingly often! I’m so glad you found an aspect of Taehyung that you related to, even if it is for difficult reasons.
My Nana would always say “Nobody is ever just one thing” and its one of the many mantras I try to live by. We’re all made of light and shade and even in the worst, most heinous people there’s a glimmer of something good, kind or likeable in the same way that in the warmest people there can be something dark lurking. I think it’s the best and worst thing about being human - we’re all multi-faceted and as we discover the shape and form of each other we can, by turns, be delighted or repulsed.
Thank you for keeping an open mind about this Taehyung and finding something to like in him. It was super-important to me not to glamourise his choices - I really hope that came across. The decisions he made were wrong, but I hope he’s redeemed because he understands that they were - that’s the crucial thing, because with that I think he can change and heal.
Similarly, the very fact that you say you have “unhealthy aspects” of your personality tells me that you are a good person (as I already suspected) and by that I mean a truly good person: if you weren’t you wouldn’t recognise those things in yourself.
I cannot express how much I admire you; people who see themselves without distortion or fear and can own who they are, those people I think are some of the wisest and most admirable people, and the best people to have by your side.
Tumblr media
As I said above, I admire your bravery and from what you’ve said here, you are truly courageous. The choices you’ve made are shattering, splintering ones that fault-line through our lives. It’s a massive decision to do anything like this and I applaud you wholeheartedly for doing so - I imagine it has cost you a lot but you are undoubtedly worth it. I hope you are in a better place and happier situation now, but if you’re still getting there I’m sure it’s just around the corner for you. I want to say well done, but it feels patronising! Instead I’ll just thank you for your honesty and sharing your reality with me, it’s an inspiration ☺️
Thank you for seeing what I was trying to do with this story!
Tumblr media
As I read this part I thought to myself, ‘Is 🌻 a writer?’ I suspect you may be. If you’re not, maybe you should try! There’s a poetry and musicality to your expression and I think your soul too - I feel it in my bones when I read your words 😊
Though you may disagree, I think you are too kind in your evaluation of my writing. Ofc my fragile self-esteem longs for recognition etc (I’m only human!) but if I was really forced to choose between being a popular writer or engagement like this, I’d choose this every single time without doubt: the reason I read, the reason I write, is to give expression to all the feelings that swirl inside me and to find those feelings in others. It makes me feel seen, like another candle burning in the darkness. That you for that, thanks for finding my story, reading it and sharing a little of yours with me. I’m so very, very grateful to you.
Tumblr media
I’d like to write again, there are so many bloody words in me that want to escape, so many half-formed phrases and images… it’s noisy in my brain! The problem is all these things just circle aimlessly nowadays. It’s ironic given the name of the last fix but there’s no centre, no gravitational pull to hold them together and to give them shape; they’re just words without stories. I hope desperately that the pull comes back and I’ll write again - I find peace in it and even if those little narratives only chime with an handful of people, that’s ok - that’s enough.
In the meantime, I’ll be grateful for what I’ve been given from the lovely kind souls I’ve found here, like your wonderful self. I’ll lurk about for a while, do some reading again maybe (hopefully) and one day write again if the fates are willing.
My inbox is always open, never be a stranger!
Thank you for everything!
Ffi 💛
2 notes · View notes
iamlisteningto · 4 months
Audio
Ben Frost’s The Centre Cannot Hold
1 note · View note
dostoyevsky-official · 4 months
Text
things fall apart 😂 the centre cannot hold 😂😂 and what rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born 😂😂😂🤣🤣
9K notes · View notes
wndaswife · 4 months
Text
trying your hardest | wanda maximoff & gn!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
After moving to America to join the Avengers, Wanda wants to finally make a friend to ease her loneliness. She hopes to become friends with you, and frankly, Wanda idolizes you, but her social skills are... subpar at best.
Word count: 5020
Tags: fluff, humour, some angst, emo wanda being a baby, a little thing, a small very tiny little thing, wanda has a very big crush on you :3 (she doesn't know it yet tho cuz she baby)
A/N: for plot purposes, imagine the avengers didn’t have a catfight after aou
Tumblr media
gif credit to (i tried really hard and i CANNOT find who made this gif im sorry)
Wanda Maximoff never really had an education as a child. What education was available in Sokovia was expensive, and despite her father’s late working hours, the twins’ parents could only ever afford their apartment’s rent. The twins were homeschooled as well as their parents could teach them, but after the bombing, they were on their own. 
Government-funded schooling helped them for only so long. The schools they were sent to were decaying, and always under dwindling government watch from ongoing airstrikes. The ground shook with explosive tremors as they commuted to school on foot. Wanda and Pietro stayed at an orphanage with hundreds of other children whose parents had passed due to the war — and the Avengers. 
Even the government’s debt caught up with what was left of Sokovia. Billions of foreign debt not paid, volume of imports that had increased exponentially since Sokovia worked on rebuilding their country weren’t making enough revenue to pay exporters back. Hundreds of children were booted from government care and onto the streets. The twins attempted to learn on their own, to become informed educated people if they were to ever make a difference in the world, but in Sokovia, even resilience could only get one so far.
Then, Doctor Strucker came along, promising them the extermination of the Avengers, the Western terrorists who had made the already politically-unstable and war-torn country their battleground. 
In hopes to cure the world from their terrorist reign, both Wanda and Pietro agreed to Strucker’s experiments, but the education they were given intended for them to become weapons. They knew little of real geography and world history — only HYDRA’s propaganda meant to poison their minds with blind hatred and little else.
When it seemed like you couldn’t be any more different from Wanda as it was, you were also the team’s brain. Stark and Banner specialised in physics and mechanics, but you were the team’s hub for everything else. From computer science to philosophy, you knew everything. No one exceeded you in developing team strategy, setting the stages for mission locations, profiling adversaries, and a dozen of other things Wanda couldn’t have even fathomed when she first met the Avengers in person.
It took Wanda only several moments to realise you weren’t a frontline fighter from your muffled voice in the Avengers’ earpieces to their callouts of your name as frequent, and perhaps even moreso, than their teammates that fought alongside them on the field despite your physical absence. 
Y/N — that was your name. 
When she had fought the Avengers in Novi Grad, creeping behind the Western superpowers like a heavy looming shadow, Wanda had looked for you. Strategically, it was a rational move. You were the centre of their battle, the heart of their teamwork.
And yet, you were nowhere to be found.
It was only until she had crept up behind Clint Barton when your voice grew clearer than ever before. From the tiny earpiece, you were controlling the field. Perhaps you were just outside, or maybe you were in another country. No matter the distance, Wanda supposed your hold on the battle would be no less effective. 
It was the distraction of thinking about you, perhaps — Y/N, the invisible hand — or Barton’s sole intuition, Wanda did not know, nor did she have very much time to think it over, that had made it possible for him to counter her magic. 
Then there was pain — immeasurable pain that Wanda hadn’t felt since Strucker’s experiments. It shot through her forehead like a dozen bullets had permeated through her skull. Pietro grounded her, and soon after, the twins targeted Banner.
Despite the rumours about him, the insatiable angry force he was told to be, his mind was the easiest to corrupt. Mental instability and insecurity racked his mind, and he quickly shifted into the green beast the Maximoffs had heard so much about. 
Carrying his younger sister, Pietro took the two of them back to Ultron’s base. 
They had won that day.
You were all Wanda could think about even while she and Pietro were off missions. You weren’t the Avengers’ frontline defence like Steve Rogers, nor were you the brute strength of the team like Bruce Banner. You held your team in your hands rather than tugging them along by their leashes although you likely could if you wanted to.
Y/N. 
Who were you?
On the television after the fight on Novi Grad, Iron Man and Hulk’s brawl in Johannesburg was on the news. The city was in shambles. Pietro said something about the deaths of innocents and the success of his sister’s magic in having the Avengers turn against themselves. But Wanda could only think of what you had thought when Stark and Banner came back to their compound, beaten and sore from none other than their own fists. Wanda assumed the Avengers’ compound — wherever that was — was where you were too. 
Wanda wondered how you were dealing with the fight at Johannesburg. What were you saying about her and Pietro?
Later that day, Ultron approached the twins in their bedroom and turned on the television. Despite having been offered separate bedrooms, they insisted on sharing one. Sitting atop their respective beds on the opposite sides of the room, there was someone speaking on the television about Johannesburg across from the interviewer. Their expression was stern but their eyes were solemn. Eyebrows were furrowed together, masking concern and worry; if Wanda knew anything, it was how to read someone.
“Y/N,” the interviewer began, and Wanda’s eyes widened, her head lifting from being held up by her hands, elbows on her pillow as it laid flat atop her crossed legs. “As the Avengers’ strategist, as many put it, how are you planning on handling the devastation that came upon Johannesburg, and the inevitable contact that the Avengers will continue to have with innocent uninvolved civilians?”
The question was packed, and the news station quite clearly had their own sentiments about the Avengers; they were setting you up.
So that was how you looked. Wanda swallowed and felt her chest flutter.
With your upper lip stiff and your posture unbelievably straight, you answered without equivocation. “A common misinformed perspective of any conflict follows the belief that there is any one party entirely responsible for the consequences of violent confrontation, such as the one we witnessed in Johannesburg,” you were saying. With the way her wide eyes were pinned on the television screen, Wanda didn’t notice the way her brother eyed her obviously peaked interest.
“I don’t believe the Avengers are the world’s most honourable superheroes,” you continued. Ultron shifted and Wanda’s head tipped to the side, her interest in you ever growing. “I don’t think anyone is, no matter whose side you’ve taken since the conflict recently — and perhaps even after the invasion of New York’s in 2012.”
That was The Incident, Wanda recalled, when the Avengers terrorised New York. That’s what HYDRA had always told her and Pietro.
“Despite whose side you may be on, as differing as our collective opinions may be, one thing is undeniable — we are all trying to reach a goal of peace for the world, fighting for what we believe is just. There is nothing more powerful than that. Perhaps, it is idealism that serves to be the strength of humanity.”
Ultron laughed morosely. He ridiculed your words, but Wanda wasn’t listening. Whatever you were talking about wasn’t only about Johannesburg. What were you referencing? Who were your words meant for?
Suddenly, your head turned to the camera and Wanda met your eyes. Everything in her froze, her eyes undeviating from your face.
“Wanda and Pietro Maximoff,” you spoke. Pietro looked over at Wanda, shock written on every inch of his face, and Ultron’s eyes darted between the twins, almost accusationally as he undoubtedly suspected coercion. Wanda almost expected you to step through the television screen and into her bedroom. “I know what you want.”
The screen was shut off suddenly, the black mirror of the television reflecting Wanda’s astonished expression. She looked away, shutting her eyes as she felt the burning gaze of Ultron on her. But your words reverberated in Wanda’s mind until your every feature and movement of your lips was memorised. Like a promise, like an ode, your words were immortalised within her.
Pietro wasn’t there when you took Wanda in your arms and saved her from a falling Sokovia. He wasn’t there when you laid her down onto the Helicarrier, nor when you took her hand and told her she’d be taken care of. Wanda cried into your chest at the sight of her brother’s body.
What would he have said if he saw the way your arm refused to leave from around Wanda’s shoulders as the two of them trailed behind his body while he was carried into the compound?
Pietro liked you, and would’ve loved to meet you. He referenced your broadcasted interview several times during their fight in Sokovia. He was proud to work with the Avengers, and proud to finally work towards their goal to help people just like them. He wanted to meet you.
Your voice was different from what Wanda remembered from the broadcast, and not because her memory had failed her, but because you were just… different. You were real, and not a picture on a wall or an untouchable reality forever separated from her by a television screen. As she watched you talk and laugh with the other Avengers, you were real.
But if Wanda was honest, she was much too shy to even start a conversation with you. Perhaps it might’ve been easier to approach you if you were an admired character on one of her favourite television shows, but it was exactly what made her admire you so much that also made her feel so shy around you. 
Granted, there was much to adjust to now that she lived in America and was now a part of the Avengers, and she did believe herself to be a generally introverted person, but she was especially nervous around you.
Wanda had gotten enough confidence to speak with some team members. Natasha was welcoming and kind. Thor was easy not to feel nervous around, but his energy was far too much for Wanda to handle just yet. Bruce was much more comfortable to chat with, and Wanda found that he was able to be rather nice once he forgave her for her associations with Ultron. Steve was always very kind to Wanda and she felt very safe around him, with Steve always trying to make her feel like part of the team, but she found that they didn’t have very much in common.
And there was Vision, who seemed to have taken a liking to her since even before the final battle against Ultron. He was nice company, but she found her mind preoccupied thinking of you while in his company, wishing that it was you who gave her as much attention as Vision did.
However, she’d been wanting to start a conversation with you since the day she arrived at the compound. Initially, she needed time to herself, and along with Steve, you also made the effort to check in on her and give her your support.
Once she was finally able to gain some footing in adjusting to things while shouldering the weight of her losses, Wanda started becoming more active within the team by joining training sessions. During them, she found herself unable to stop looking at you, watching what you were doing, seeing how you interacted with everyone.
Even as the Avengers’ primary strategist that was almost never in the field, you still made efforts to train and stay connected and involved with the team — and Wanda quickly learned that training was a major part of team building.
You were everything Wanda wished she could be more like; you were the kind of person she had never thought existed in a world she believed was only full of cruelty and injustice until recently.
There was an upcoming party at the Avengers Tower in celebration of the assigned team’s return from a successful mission tracking down a recently-located HYDRA base still hiding out. It was almost any ordinary mission, but it was the first step towards steadily eradicating all of HYDRA’s bases, even after Strucker’s primary base was taken down in Sokovia. Though Steve did also tell Wanda that he felt that Tony also primarily wanted to find any reason to celebrate since it’d been some time.
Wanda hadn’t been to any of the parties yet, and she thought that she’d be able to use this one as a chance to start a conversation with you. 
Wasn’t that what people did at parties? Talk?
Truthfully, she didn’t quite know for sure — she’d only ever heard about them through the sitcoms she watched as a child. She knew only of dramatised American portrayals of teenage parties through television.
Whatever it was people actually did at parties, Wanda was certain she would be able to make some effort to talk to you. At least in a social setting, it wouldn’t be strange for her to start a conversation with you.
Wanda made herself look nice and presentable, but not too formal since she didn’t want to overdress or bring too much attention to herself. She wasn’t sure what might happen if her plan to talk with you didn’t end up working, and if she was somehow left with nothing to do, she wanted to be able to slip away without anyone noticing, as if she had never made any attempt to come at all.
While deliberating whether it was better to arrive on time or a bit later once the party had been going on for some time, Wanda realised that at some point too much time had passed and her only option now was to join the party a bit later. 
It was only once she arrived at the penthouse floor where the party was being held that Wanda finally realised how terribly  thought-out her plan was.
What would happen if she didn’t get to talk with you? What would happen if she did, and she only made a fool of herself? Would it be better, then, to stay as two people who’d never conversed so that she might retain what impression you had of her now? Even if that meant she would never get to talk with you the way she wanted?
It was far too late now to change her mind if she wanted to, as she soon found herself walking further from the elevators and into the party. 
The party was rather filled; mostly, they were familiar faces, but it looked like many brought guests, and some guests had brought some of their own. It seemed that Steve was right — atop of celebrating the taking down of the HYDRA base, this was also a social get-together. 
She was still relatively at the edges of the room, so she was still going unnoticed. As she walked over to the bar, fidgeting with her fingers as she did, she took the time to look around and try to spot you. She reached the bar, crossing her forearms on top of its counter, and tried to draw the least attention to herself while avoiding eye contact with anyone as her eyes raked through the crowd. 
Eventually she caught sight of you also at the bar, but at the very edge with your own drink, your back facing the party. Wanda’s chest fluttered and she felt she nearly stumbled moving one foot in front of the other when she turned to walk towards you. 
She worried what would happen if someone suddenly approached you from behind, which would force her to then stop wherever she was standing and pretend she hadn’t just failed at her attempt to come up to you. 
The pressing concern aided her greatly, and she was well on her way to coming up to you without hesitation. But once she actually made her way to your side and once you raised your head from your glass and looked at her, Wanda damned herself for being so distracted, now without a plan or even a terribly-planned script to follow in making conversation with you. She didn’t even get to look at what you were wearing. 
It would be too strange of her to look you up and down before greeting you, right?
“Hi,” she said, hoping that the small smile she felt on her face was actually there lest she look like an absolute fool.
You turned around in your seat in order to face her, and now having your complete, undivided attention made Wanda’s legs feel like mush. “Hi,” you replied with a friendly smile. “Are you enjoying yourself? I don’t think I’ve seen you at a party yet.”
Wanda swallowed and nervously drew shapes against the bar counter with her fingernails, also trying her best to maintain a steady, friendly smile. “No — this is the first I’ve gone to. I haven’t been here for very long. I decided only a moment ago to come.”
“I’m glad you chose to come,” you told her and suggested for her to take the barstool beside you. Wanda lifted herself onto the seat and sat, facing you.
While you were talking, Wanda took the chance to look at what you were wearing. You looked nice, and Wanda thought you always dressed in a way that put-together, respected people did. She saw you in some likeness to the well-dressed characters on the sitcoms she liked — but, of course, modern. 
Maybe she had been taking too long to respond, for you spoke again: “How have you been doing? I know that the move must have been rather hard to go through.”
When she took a moment to respond and found that a response wasn’t immediately escaping her, Wanda felt panic settle in her chest. She knew she should have planned out what to say. She looked like an idiot in front of you. She didn’t know the first thing about socialising or making friends. 
“It was hard,” she said finally. “It is hard. Not so bad now. I mean, I’m trying to adjust.”
You nodded in understanding and Wanda felt herself losing your interest; she was sure that your responses’ intentions were now only to remain polite, to keep conversing with her because you knew she didn’t make very much effort to go out. 
Then you asked, “Did you want me to order you a drink?”
“Oh, I’m okay — I don’t drink,” Wanda answered, fidgeting with her fingers between her knees. Truthfully, she’s never tried alcohol before. Maybe she should have taken you up on your offer. 
“How have you been getting along with the team?”
“I think well. I like everyone. They’ve been very kind to me,” Wanda said. She could hear herself as she spoke to you; she sounded robotic and uninteresting. She thought she might try her hand at being honest about what she was thinking then and there. “But Pietro was always the most social of us both. It is hard to get along with others without him leading the conversation.”
Wanda must have not noticed how solemn she became after she mentioned Pietro, for you reached out and brushed her shoulder with your hand supportively, your fingers squeezing gently around her and lingering for a moment before letting your arm drop.
“I understand,” you sympathised. “You don’t need to pressure yourself into anything — really. I think you fit in here well, and I think you’ve been doing a wonderful job.”
That was the first time anyone truly supported Wanda like that; she was supported by the team as she was grieving the loss of her brother, always being told that she had a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand if she ever wanted someone to talk to. 
There was something frustrating about the way the team approached her grief. They had to have anticipated that she would feel a bit better at some point — or at least well enough to get back to team member material. 
In the way she was spoken to, Pietro and her struggles with his death were always approached as something she would get over at some point or another — like Pietro was something she was going to get over. She didn’t expect anyone to understand how she felt nor to share in her grievances, but it seemed to her that what she was going through was seen only as a temporary distraction to the rest of the team. 
They were kind in giving her their support, but her grief never seemed quite real enough to them. 
Granted, she was rather new to the team, so she understood, to some degree, their inability to understand her pain. But it was frustrating, nevertheless. 
But with you, it was different. 
You didn’t talk about Pietro or her struggles and pain like it was something to get over. You valued her as she was now, and saw her efforts as they were now. 
Wanda felt slightly pathetic for how worked up she was getting over your response, be it as brief as it was, but what you said meant quite a lot to her. She felt, for the first time, that she was being spoken to as a real person rather than a ball of temporary grief and pain. 
“Thank you… I really appreciate–”
She was cut off when you were called to meet one of Tony’s friends, an expert in software development who had even helped program some of the software you used for communication with the team while they were working on the field. Naturally, they wanted the two of you to meet. 
For a moment, Wanda forgot how popular you were amongst your colleagues. Why wouldn’t you be? It was only that you had a certain kindness and authenticity about you that seemed signature to you. But if Wanda admired that about you, and if she idolised you, why wouldn’t anyone else?
You looked at Tony calling you over then at Wanda, who was awkwardly staring at the floor in some pitiful stance of defeat. It made your chest tighten.
This was Wanda’s first time joining in at one of the parties, and you were the first she spoke to. Moreover, there was a kind of sensitivity to her that you knew lay beyond her typical timidity.
Through the conversation with her, you could vaguely see Wanda’s eyes flickering behind your shoulder occasionally, where the floor’s balcony was. From there, one would have a view of the spacious training fields and the expansive forests beyond that separated the base from the main roads.
Tonight, there were clear skies and a rather prominent moon. 
Gently, you tapped the back of Wanda’s hand that was resting on the edge of the bar to get her attention, and she raised her head and met your eyes. 
“Would you like to step out onto the balcony with me?” you asked. “I’m not quite in the mood to talk with them right now.”
Wanda seemed to perk up and she straightened in her seat. She nodded, and when you stepped off from your barstool, she followed and trailed behind you as you headed for the balcony. 
She watched from behind as you led her forward. She played idly with the tips of her fingers as she watched your hair brush against your back, watching the back of your head attentively as if it could tell her anything about you. 
Frankly, she felt a bit starstruck.
A certain panic settled within her as you opened the balcony door and ushered Wanda outside and into the warm evening air; she didn’t know what to say now. 
She wasn’t certain if she was interesting enough at all to have such intimate conversation with. 
What could she say that could possibly be of interest to you?
In spite of the disappointed chatter and lighthearted jabs from the rest of the team in response to your very-obvious aversion to socialising, you closed the balcony door behind you until it clicked shut softly until it was only you and Wanda outside. 
“Is it okay that you’re out here with me?” Wanda asked, looking at you as she stepped beside you. 
“Of course,” you answered and walked forward until you could stand against the rails of the balcony. “Why not?”
Wanda appreciated how easy it was to talk with you, and how your relationship with the team wasn’t all that you were. “I thought that maybe you might prefer being out there.”
“No — I want to be here.”
Wanda flushed and she looked away, using the excuse of looking out past the training fields as an excuse to hide her face from you. 
Making a bold move, Wanda thought that she might be honest with you; she had the real opportunity to make a friend, granted she pulled it off. “Y/N, I really appreciate you being so kind to me.” She garnered some confidence and turned her body and looked at you.
“You don’t have to thank me for that,” you replied bashfully, and Wanda noticed that you also seemed a bit timid. She thought you were sensitive, and she liked that.
“But also,” Wanda added, taking in a small breath, “I really appreciate your effort in being sympathetic towards Pietro and I, even when we did not deserve it — especially after Johannesburg. Before your interview broadcast, I had never known of such kindness. It seemed you knew more about what Pietro and I wanted before even we did.”
Without a thought behind it, Wanda’s eyes left yours and she added, “I wish he was able to meet you. I am sure he would have felt equally as stunned by you.”
You asked, “I stun you now, do I?”
Surprised by the realisation of what she said aloud, Wanda looked at you and at the sight of your slight smile, also realised that you were teasing her. She flushed and rubbed her warm cheek with the back of her knuckle and distracted herself with two of the party guests walking through the field.
Wanda reminded herself that she came to make a friend — to be friends with you. So she spoke again. “To be honest, yes,” she replied. “I think you are admirable; everyone seems to like you very much, and the kind of bravery and kindness you have is of a kind I did not previously know could ever be sincere.”
She finally said it, and now, Wanda felt anxious about what you might say next.
You shifted and repositioned yourself as you pondered for a moment in consideration. “Well, I have to confess that most if not all of my bravery is rather insincere — I’m truly not as brave as you might think. In fact, I would argue that you’re more brave than I; you’ve experienced so much, undergone so much change, and yet you seem to have more drive than anyone to try your hardest at adjusting and getting back on your feet.” 
You thought she was braver than you? Wanda could collapse. She felt her chest flutter.
“But… the kindness,” you said, “is very sincere. I’m glad you see it that way.”
Wanda found herself stepping closer to you, feeling more comfortable in your company and feeling that she wanted to be closer to you physically, to hear your words within a closer vicinity and to see your face free of the soft shadows that the moonlight casted along the curve of your nose and the angle of your cheekbone. 
“I think you’re really special,” you told her. “I’m happy that you’re a part of the team. I’m glad you’re here.”
In all her life, there was only one place Wanda ever felt she belonged — with her family. Over some time, what this meant was redefined with the bombing of her home when she was ten and, recently, with the loss of her brother. There was a feeling of loss, an empty pit that burrowed itself within the deepest depths of Wanda’s identity where Pietro and her family and some sort of identity should have been.
It was not only others and her country that she lost, but a part of herself, when all the landmarks she had ever belonged to were stolen from her. But if she could learn anything from still being able to stand where she was and try her best and be brave — like you said — in spite of all her loss and grief, it was that she was not all that she identified herself with.
She still existed, and was still worth something, even without all that was lost.
It would be difficult to even begin finding who she was, exactly, without Pietro and Sokovia and her parents and the truths of herself and the world that HYDRA had always taught her. But she hoped that you might be at least the first step to her self-discovery — you were her first friend.
“Are you alright?” you asked, tipping your head down slightly to try getting a better look at Wanda’s face. 
Wanda had lost herself in her thoughts and forgot to reply to you. She must have been silent for a bit of time. “Yes, I’m okay.” She subtly swiped at her cheeks when she realised she was crying — perhaps it was from thinking of her family or of Sokovia, though she couldn’t pinpoint exactly when the moment was that she started crying — as she looked over at the field for a distraction again.
Without another word, you stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Wanda’s shoulders, bringing her against your body in a soft hug. It was wordless and quiet and casual — support and comfort without any conditions.
Every time Wanda believed that she’d fully grasped the world’s capacity for kindness, believed that there couldn't possibly be something more gentle than what you have thus far shown her, you prove her wrong. 
She hoped she would never be right.
2K notes · View notes
satoruhour · 5 months
Note
very gojo-coded‼️ like if there’s one thing mans cannot do it is keep his hands off you
Tumblr media
a/n: UR BRAIN >>> / tagging @jabamin @osaemu @hyomagiri :3
warnings: i guess reader is a little shy in this? fem!reader, a little teasing, use of ‘mama’, pet names, humping, fingering, lovesick gojo, unprotected sex, p -> v sex, creampie / breeding kink, multiple rounds, n*sfw under the cut
Tumblr media
“baby—” you’re quick to retract your statement when you catch your boyfriend trying to relax after a long day of fighting curses, but he’s more holding his head in his hands and just taking a moment in silence for himself. the television only does more than what it’s intended for by providing an annoying canvas of background noise but he’s just too content with finally being back home that he doesn’t care.
he reached home when you were in the shower, a little surprised he didn’t try to teleport himself into the cubicle itself, but you think it’s because he’s exhausted; maybe he needs a little . . de-stressing. gojo hums at your resigned call and doesn’t turn to face you, but you know he knows that you’re surely naked and dripping under your towel, meekly holding a bottle of moisturiser and hoping you wouldn’t have to take another shower with the actions that’s sure to occur.
“what is it, sweets?” gojo asks, head tilted back along the edge of the couch, but he finally tries to turn his head toward you, smiling a little when he sees your figure freezing from the night’s breezes.
“need you to moisturise . .” you mumble, padding over to him before plopping yourself down in front of him. he welcomes you with open arms, wanting to just have you in his embrace for a little while and you fall right into his sweet talking trap. you like it, though, the sweet nothings he tells you as he easily adjusts your body against his larger one, not caring one bit that the shower droplets wet his uniform.
“c’mon, turn your back toward me,” you murmur a soft okay, sucking in a breath when he peels away the towel from your skin. you sigh softly when you feel his nose along your neck, taking in your fresh scent of strawberry shampoo and body wash while his hands massage your shoulders, down to your shoulder blades and to your sides where you jump from the ticklish sensation.
you burn when satoru laughs against your skin, “relaax, sweetheart.”
you’re unaware but gojo tries his best to untangle the knots you’ve developed over the years from endless training and brutal missions, hands working magic on your lower back now as his thumbs continually move over the base of your spine.
“you’re so tight, here.”
“a-ah . . don’t say that, satoru,” you’re anything but innocent, but it is a little upfront the way your boyfriend never fails to talk dirty in entirely mundane situations. while you’re used to it, your body still tenses from the lewdness and suddenness of it; you’re at a loss for words and you melt in gojo’s arms.
“why?” he presses his front into your back, mouth going back to your neck to try to distract you from the actual thing he’s supposed to be doing. with each kiss along your jaw, he can only feel himself get harder. “it’s cute seeing you so shy like this.”
“satoru.” it comes out shaky, “the moisturiser.”
“okay, okay,” he laughs, using his hand to turn your cheek for a small kiss, humming into it, “i’ll get to it, mama.”
the both of you are only trying to play the part — you, the clueless one receiving a moisturising job at the places you can’t reach on your back. gojo, the ever-loving boyfriend who drops everything to help you. he giggles again when you yelp at the coldness of the liquid before he starts to spread it; he does his job dutifully, at least, rubbing it into the far ends of your shoulders right to the centre where you struggle. like earlier, he takes pride in his larger hands, rubbing and squeezing at your back as he massages the moisturiser in.
“anything else you need me to help ya with?” the voice behind you surprises you again, arms now gliding along your sides to wrap around you, “maybe . .”
“are you really gonna make me say it—”
gojo giggles into your hair, an innocent action if it wasn’t for the hard-on pressed into your lower back, “it’s only fair i would want my shy baby say what she really wants, it’s always a treat.”
“i’d— uhm,” words sometimes have a hard time leaving your mouth, but even so, the way you tenderly turn around and push him to the sofa all have a scared edge to it. being with gojo made you open up more, but you don’t think your shy disposition has any problems. plus, your boyfriend finds it cute.
your hands make quick work of his pants, pulling away the belt and zipping it down, before you’re palming his bulge softly. he hums at the relief, his encouraging hands all gentle on your arms while you remove his underwear slowly. gojo looks like you’re the most beautiful as you climb on him, freshly showered and back full of sweet-smelling moisturiser, and plop yourself onto his lap. your pussy’s already fairly dripping, small moans leaving both your mouths when your cunt meets with the underside of his cock.
“at least take me out to dinner first,” satoru jokes and laughs even harder when he sees the pout on your face, “c’mere, you.”
before you know it, your hips are already grinding down on his front while he crashes his lips into yours. while his hands are placed on your ass, kneading it and helping you, yours are simultaneously removing his jujutsu uniform, fingers in perfect muscle memory from the many, many times you found yourself making out after gruelling missions. you have to pull away against your will when his hands leave your ass, doing the work yourself as he removes the uniform one arm hole at a time.
“i’ve only rubbed your back and you’re already soaking,” he whispers against your lips once he’s unclothed, lips chasing yours as you only press yourself deeper into him.
“and you’re already hard,” his eyes express pure glee at your words, letting you grind your cunt into his now dripping shaft. you can feel him twitch at the way your folds fit nicely along him, hands periodically squeezing your waist when you move your hips back and forth.
gojo has the luxury of sucking on your neck when your head tilts back at the tantalising feeling, clit bumping against his cock in all kinds of friction while you hump him, fingers losing themselves in his stark white hair that you love so much. tugging and pulling on it, there’s a plethora of sensations that only heighten the lewd situation; your nipples rubbing against his chest, his fingers stealthily playing with your hole, his teeth marking your skin.
“’toru—” you moan into open air, body arching into his hold as he hums in response, bringing your mouth back to him for a rough kiss. you can feel his fingers enter you gently while he swallows your sounds, his own hips also chasing ecstasy against your needy clit. “s’good . .”
one arm tight around your waist and the other pumping his fingers in you, you’re overwhelmed when he starts curling them in your cunt, making you whine out at the spot he’s found. everything about gojo drives you crazy, and it’s clear you do the same to him from the way his length twitches again under you.
“you’re so tight, baby,” he murmurs into the kiss, eyes struggling to stay open from the way you grind against him and push your ass against his digits. you’d expect a smart comment about him saying the exact same thing as earlier but he’s too lost in pleasure to give a shit, “can’t wait to feel you around my cock.”
you whimper at the blatant filthiness of his words, pulling away and hiding your burning face in his neck while he only chuckles softly, cut off by a grunt when you clench around him.
“need you to cum, princess,” his fingers reach deeper than any of yours, spreading you and getting you ready for his dick. your hips are working overtime, grinding the most that you can to feel something, anything against your bundle of nerves. paired with the grunts of satoru in your ear and the slickness of your pussy, you can feel yourself getting closer to your climax until— 
“f-fuck . . shit,” gojo’s eyes are squeezed tight when you continue to hump the underside of his shaft while he spills all over himself, fingers faltering while he continues to cum all over himself just from your grinding, a breathless laugh escaping him when all your face held was surprise, “this is what you do t’me.”
the twitch of his cock sends you hurling over the edge as you cum over him as well, thighs closing around him and the grip on his shoulders only strengthens while your cum drips down his fingers  — the declaration of the strongest sorcerer being weak only for you was something you didn’t take lightly, and yet you’re in wonder everyday how it came to be. you let out a surprised shriek when he carries you swiftly, a small question of sofa or bedroom? posed to you before you silently point to the room.
it’s all loving laughter about the abandoned towel, or him walking with his trousers halfway down his legs as he princess carries you there, messy kisses shared before you’re both plopped down and your face is smushed into the pillows (“don’t wanna mess up my moisturising job, now, do we?”).
“fuuck yeah . .” gojo groans once he slips into you, hands holding onto your hips as he eases his cock inch by inch and you’re left to softly moan at the stretch. your hands scramble for sheets and pillows, already clamping down on his shaft like a vice and he hisses. “tryna snap my dick off?”
you giggle as you turn your head so you can at least see him, a drunk smile on your face as you take in your boyfriend: chest glistening from sweat and his usual unkempt hair looking even messier and his mouth dropped open at the feel of your wet pussy.
slowly, his hips set a pace once he’s bottomed out in you, thumbs digging into your lower back and having the opposite effect of his massage from earlier; it’s bound to leave some bruises, but the drag of your cunt along his cock is just too hypnotising. he grinds himself into you, tip just about brushing your g-spot so easily.
“pretty, pretty girl . .” satoru mumbles, eyes trained on you, he admires your silent noises and limp body rocking against the bedsheets before his eyes fall on your centre, a clear sheen of slick along your folds that shines under the moonlight, “with the prettiest cunt.”
the words, as grossly filthy as they are, warms your cheeks as he continues to speed up, hips driving into you so violently you wouldn’t think he loves so softly. his hands span your lower back, triggering your arch and accentuating your ass, mesmerised with how it jiggles each time his hips meet them. but one look back to you and he’s already saying moisturising job be damned because of the lovely curvature of your lips as they fall open in pleasure together with the rolling back of your eyes.
your boyfriend leans against your back, one elbow supporting his body while he just has to litter your nape with kisses as he continues to rail you. you’re blessed with his incoherent words, only making you wetter and more pliant for him. your hips start to move back against him, too, and your hands try your best at cradling his face.
“s’good, s’full, ’toru,” you mumble, eyes barely keeping open as his fat cock stretches you and sends you reeling with each brush of his tip along your spots, “love it s’much, love you.”
he coos at his baby, body flush against yours while he muffles you with his love and lust. and while satoru has stamina, your lower back begins to hurt and he lets you lower yourself down to the bed, grinning at the feel of the sheets that smell like him.
“you feelin’ better?” he smooths his fingers along your back, and he knows you nod without even looking at him because he just knows you that well, “well, good, ’cause—”
gojo re-enters you with one hand spreading you and the other guiding his cock into you, the position only emphasising your thighs and your ass and the squeeze of his length is too good. he pulls your cheeks apart just to look at how you take him, pussy spread to accommodate him.
“’cause you feel too damn good for me not to be in ya for even a sec.” he grunts as he pushes in and you only suck in a breath at it, wiggling your butt back into his for him to start moving. his eyes fixate on your tight cunt, lost in a trance as he starts up a moderate speed, but he makes sure to thrust all up into you.
“touch yourself for me, baby,” he mumbles out, groaning when you push your butt high enough for your hand to slip in. he can feel you rubbing your clit, eyes fluttering close from the overstimulating sensation that all that falls from your lips are satoru, satoru, satoru.
“just like that, that’s it, mama,” gojo watches your expression, hips stuttering at having witnessed your beauty in such a lewd place, “wan’ me to cum in you? hm?”
you unconsciously nod, more whines falling from your lips and babbles that just shows him how fucked out you are. “i’ll need my princess to cum first, though . .” and he takes over just like that: one hand next to your face and the other swatting your hand to replace the messy circles you’ve been rubbing into your puffy clit.
“want to feel her — fuckin’ hell — clench around me, want her to cum all over my cock,” he speaks through gritted teeth, slapping your pussy briefly and you cry out in pleasure, “can you do that, sweetness?”
your eyes scrunch in euphoria, “yes, yes, satoru—” every breath you take is a struggle and every word you speak is slurred, grasping onto his wrist for an anchor and try to angle your head, “w’nna cum, i’m gonna cum, baby—”
“’toru—!” you see white before you can feel it, tearing just a bit at the intense feeling and hiding as much as you can behind his wrist as his other hand increases his speed on your clit. it happens all too fast; the slap of his pelvis against yours and the clear, audible sound of your pussy dripping and the precise thrusts in how he rams into you.
“that’s it, there we gooo . .” gojo coos when you cum silently, little pants and mewls leaving your mouth as your body convulses around him. your cunt’s gripping onto his cock so harshly he has trouble moving but it’s fine considering the way he gets to see you come undone by his doing. you’re gushing all over him, a small squeal leaving you when he pinches your clit playfully.
he slows a little just to let you ride out your orgasm, clear in the way you continue to grind back against him but soon he’s picking it up again and you’re left to hold tight onto his arm as he uses your body to reach his high. your gummy walls were just too warm and gripping onto him so well, and when you’re holding so gently onto his arm, filling you up is all he can think about.
“gonna c—” a loud groan sounds out from satoru when his thrusts are interrupted by his orgasm; all it took was one involuntary clench from you to get him to empty himself in you, sensitive tip spurting ropes and ropes of cum deep into you as he paints your insides white, “take it. take it deep in ya, mama.”
you moan softly at the obscene words and later, at the obscene noises of how he pulls himself out of you and you can hear your mixed juices coalesce and drip onto the sheets below you. although, before satoru can make a funny joke or kiss you, you’re knocked out cold on the bed sheets.
“passing out on me?” is all is says with a laugh, turning you over and gives you a spare pillow to cuddle before he leaves you with a forehead kiss and a promise to clean you up just like you deserve.
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
apoemaday · 14 days
Text
The Second Coming
by W.B. Yeats
Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand. The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand; A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
428 notes · View notes
illyrian-dreamer · 8 months
Text
Our Girl – Part 4
Azriel x Cassian x fem reader angst
Summary: Deeming you unfit for a mission, the Inner Circle have betrayed your trust and shattered your life’s mission to avenge you sister. And the two males you love most were at the centre of it all.
Word count: 7.3k
Warnings: Smut [18+, minors DNI]
You stared at the gold invitation, cursive writing announcing Cresseida to be wed in a months time. And there was your name printed, Y/N and partners. You had scoffed when you first saw it – maybe in another life.
You were chewing your lip, lost in thought on whether to attend or not. You knew at the least, Rhys and Feyre would attend the wedding – that meant seeing them. And word would surely spread of your work at Spring Court once you got to chatting to other guests – that would reveal your location. 
“Whats bothering you, young spark?” Finbark asked from the kitchen, busy chopping vegetables as a pot of stew boiled behind him. He looked up briefly, spotting the invitation in your hand. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of not attending?” 
“I don't want to risk what I have here.”
“Y/N, everything you’ve worked for is already yours. Your home here, your work, even your privacy, no one can take that away from you now, not even a High Lord or Lady.”
“I know, you’re right. It’s just… I've so enjoyed my little bubble away from everything that happened. Seeing them… they made me feel so small Fin, so helpless. I don't know if I can stand going through that again.”
“So much has happened since then. Look at all you’ve done, all you’ve accomplished. Thousands of fae, gods, even the entire damn court is mending thanks to you. You were never small, and you have proven that to yourself over and over again.”
A wobbly smile jerked at your lips, tears pricking in your eyes. He wiped his hands, leaving the vegetables to come cup your face, brushing away your tears.
“You cannot lock yourself in Spring Court forever, sweetheart. Don't punish yourself for their mistakes, expand your horizons, celebrate with friends that are equally yours as they are theirs. And celebrate yourself, you deserve that even more.”
You reached for your uncle’s rippled hand, holding it tight. “Thank you, Finbark. You mean the world to me.”
“And you me, young spark.” 
So it was decided. You would attend the wedding, without any partners.
————
“Where are we going?” you called from Podie, Tamlin a few paces ahead on his own horse. He was leading you through a trail you weren't familiar with.
“For the umpteenth time Y/N, it’s a surprise.” He called back without turning his head. 
You let out an audible sigh, to which Tamlin chuckled. You did your best not to admire his ass as he straddled a horse – it helped neither of you how handsome Tamlin looked in his riding clothes. You pressed your heels to Podie, coming to trot beside him.
“You should know I hate surprises,” you sang.
“Even the good kind? What a shame,” Tamlin responded, clearly not letting up on where he was taking you. You poked your tongue out, earning another chuckle.
It had been several months since your first dinner with Tamlin, and you had fallen into a comfortable pattern with the High Lord. You enjoyed a regular drink or meal together when your work crossed paths, and he had even consulted you on advice for his court, which flattered you. His company was a consistent pleasure, and you treasured the friendship you had formed – the Gods knew you needed it.
You managed to bite your tongue for another twenty minutes, and just as you were about to pester him again, Tamlin spoke. “It’s just up this trail.”
Pulling the reins of his horse, Tamlin led you down a steep path, hidden much by overhanging trees and bushes, only to reveal a clearing.
No, not a clearing – a field, blossoming with rows of carefully planted pink flowers. And as you got closer, the size of the field was revealed, bordered by a low wooden fence. It was… a farm?
You drew in an audible breath as the scent of the flowers hit you. You widened your eyes at Tamlin, who was grinning at your shock. You dismounted Podie quickly, rushing to brace the fence as you took in the site with awe. 
“Wild Gernaium?” you choked, your eyes still wide. 
“The healing flower,” Tamlin nodded. “It took a while to learn how to farm them, months in fact, but Spring has Prythians best botanists.”
“And here I thought they could only grow in the wild,” you shook your head with disbelief. “Tamlin, these are so rare, how on earth you were able to farm this many?”
“Spring Court is a land that gives back, the soil here is rich of nutrients and the weather forgiving. It is of course only something we were able to do, thanks to your mission work to help recover the land. This is your accomplishment as much as it is theirs.”
Tears pricked in your eyes then. The amount of fae that could be helped with this crop – it was an overwhelming thought. 
“And they are for you, of course.”
You gaped at the High Lord, who laughed again. 
“For me?”
“Of course, for your work. Whatever you need – farmers to pick the flowers, a factory full of workers to grind and bottle the pigment – say the word and it’s yours.”
“Tamlin, I… I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Please, don’t. It’s not a thanks I deserve, I’m just… trying to look out for my people. Just as you do.”
“Well… you’ve done a Gods damned good job,” you said with raised brows, blowing out a loose breath at the extend of the farm. 
Tamlin threw his head back and laughed, and you grinned at his happiness. You reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Nice work, High Lord.”
Tamlin squeezed your hand back. “It wouldn't be without you.”
He pulled on your hand then, leading you through the flowers as you admired the plants up close. He explained that a factory could be built at the farms edge, attached with a pressing mill and grinders. Your heart fluttered with excitement, your work could extend past manual labour, you could now offer medicine and healing. There was a force brewing inside you, something unstoppable and good, something that lay dormant for centuries, finally unleashed and free.
You still held Tamlin’s hand as he lead you through the field, making your way to a lush hill that overlooked the farm. You sat together, Tamlin listening contently as you excitedly spoke through your ideas on how to harvest the medicine, noting that your small growing team of mission workers could also help to distribute throughout the court.
“How many aid workers have you recruited now?” Tamlin asked. 
“Seven, and we’re currently inducting Nyvya in the east. She’s a trained healer, so will be delighted to hear of the Gernaium.”
“That’s wonderful,” he smiled. 
“It is,” you said warmly, and it occurred to you that you owed Tamlin a truth. An idea you were planning to run by him at a much later time. But with the offer of the Gernaium, the access to this kind of healing, that changed things. “It is,” you repeated almost flatly, chewing at your lip as your eyes fell distant, dancing with thought.
Tamlin caught the movement, and he frowned slightly as he shifted from his lounging position. “What is it?”
Your heart rose in anticipation – you felt sheepish. So you stared at him, deciding on whether it was in fact the right time.
“You can say it – whatever it is,” he said gently, taking your hand. Your silence lead him to start guessing. “Are you leaving Spring?”
“No, no I–”
“Because you are free to come and go as you please. I know my past behaviour speaks for itself, but I would hate to think that you feel trapped or–”
You grabbed his shoulders then, squeezing the muscle underneath. “Tamlin, gods I know that.”
The action seemed to stun him, and his lips pressed into a thin line. You felt a slight twang of guilt for drawing out such a distinct shame in him. 
You took a deep breath, pulling your hands to your lap. “With the mission work expanding, along with my team, we have been able to help fae at the borders, some from Summer, even a few from Autumn.”
Tamlin nodded assuringly, a sign for you to continue. He didn't startle over the technicality of Spring members helping foreign fae – that was a good sign. 
“And it felt good to help them Tam, they were isolated, and just as vulnerable as some of those in Spring.”
“Of course,” he said softly.
You had to take a deep breath, and your eyes found the horizon beyond the rolling hills around you. 
“You know,” you spoke softly. “My ambitions to help and protect others, it has always existed beyond court borders.”
You could see Tamlin shift, before giving a slow nod. 
“After talking with my team, we believe our mission work could gain traction in other courts, should they be willing. We could share knowledge, resources too if it was agreed, and provide aid across Prythian without being conformed to borders.”
You forced your eyes to Tamlin then, grimacing at what you might find written on his face. But it was just as neutral, his eyes soft, his jaw chiselled and handsome and – damn him.
“This is not the way I wanted to propose this to you Tamlin, please know. Especially after your generosity with the Gernaium, I understand completely if you have grown them purely to aid your own subjects. But that doesn't stop the need for mission work across Prythian. I plan to gain the support from as many High Lords and Ladies as possible, and I would be honoured if that started with you.”
Tamlin eyed you with those sharp green eyes, the kind of look that made you shift under the weight of it. And after an insufferable silence, he spoke. 
“You are incredible.”
You blinked in shock, Tamlin’s lips pulling at your reaction. 
“Truly,” he smiled, grabbing your hand to kiss it. “I have never met anyone who was to see a need as great as this, and think to grow it beyond borders. Magic anchors a High Lord or Lady to their Court, it makes us territorial and protective, violent even. But you, this,” he said waving his hand to you, before sighing, contemplating how to say what he felt in words. “You are what this world needs.”
Your eyes welled before two fat tears rolled down your cheeks. “Tamlin,” you chocked, unable to think of anything else to say.
He shifted closer, brushing the tears away with his thumb as he cupped your face. “You have my support Y/N. Thank you for teaching me to be better.”
Emotion surged through you, as if flushing you from years of doubt and hate, replaced now with inspiration, kindness and good, honest love. And then your lips were on his. 
Taken aback, Tamlin caught himself on one strong arm as you held his face and kissed him. You pulled away, worried to have overstepped your boundaries. But then a strong hand laced around your waist, his other propping himself up as he leaned in, closing his mouth over yours, a sharp breath drawn as his nose brushed against your. Friendship, understanding, a blossoming love – how quickly Tamlin had welcomed you to a world capable of healing, of growth. 
Every fibre in your limbs begged to be closer to him, to bask in the vulnerability he had shown you, and you him. In only half a year, you had grown together, healed together, and learned to love one another. You did, you loved him, for whatever he was to you – a dear friend, a High Lord, it didn't matter. It was equal, and genuine, and you craved it in every way. 
Fuelled in by dizzy passion, you quickly straddled his lap, pulling at his broad shoulders to bring him further into you, letting him encompass your senses. 
Tamlin’s own hands slid across your back, moving up to your neck, gripping at the roots of your hair, the other grasped at the flesh where your thighs met your hips. 
He seemed to realise where this was heading, pulling away with a sharp breath through his nose. “Y/N–”
You shook your head, dismissing him immediately with another kiss, your tongue begging for entrance to his mouth. “Tamlin.” His name was a plea.
“Are you cer–?”
You didn’t give him a chance to finish his question, peppering kissed in between words. “I’ve–never–been–more–certain.”
A low growl rumbled from his chest, and goosebumps pricked at your skin as you felt it vibrate through to you. Your excitement peaked, it had been so long since you had shared yourself with another, and your core fluttered with anticipation as every fragment of you seemed to chant yes, yes, yes. 
Which is exactly what you moaned as Tamlin entered you, your skirts pulled high, his riding pants pulled low. You placed a flat palm on his chest, your eyes clenched shut as you stretched around his girth, your walls already throbbing as you slowly slid down. Tamlin let out a stifled growl, one laced with satisfaction and a lot of restraint. 
Strong arms hugged you then, and you began to writhe together, moving gently and sensually as you ground against each other. Chasing release was far beyond you, there was so much pleasure to be had in sharing your bodies, relishing in the trust you both had found in one another.
Tamlin did his best to keep a leash if his instincts, his beast form begging to be released and he grunted and growled when you moved your hips in a certain way, nipping at your neck and ear as claws now ran down your back. You ran your fingers through his hair, using it to guide his face to yours as you kissed him and fucked him how you pleased. His own hands moved to grip at your ass to do the same. 
“Y/N,” he breathed, his deep voice breaking, strained with pleasure. 
“Tamlin, gods, you feel–”
“So. Good,” he gritted, finishing your sentence. You leaned back, head thrown back as your hands found balance on his thighs as you rode him in the warm spring air. 
Pleasure found both of you again and again in that afternoon. You climaxed on his lap, and not twenty minutes later he was pushing into you again, your bare thighs spread on the lush green grass as he moved above you. You clung together, a writhing, sweaty mix of passion and pleasure until the sun began to set over the rolling hills. 
Tamlin reached for you, his fingers lacing with yours as you ate the last of the berries he had packed. He kissed your forehead before turning you to rest against his chest, not wanting you to miss the view. 
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he murmured into your hair. 
Stroking his arms that were tightly wrapped at your waist, you swallowed, debating on what to say. But no, Tamlin deserved the truth, you must always choose truth. You sighed , saddened by what was churning through your head after such incredible sex.
“I’m thinking we need to discuss what this afternoon means.” 
You loved him, you did, but Tamlin was bound to his court, and your life called beyond it. It wouldn't work, no matter how much you cared for each other.
Tamlin knew this too. “What if,” he spoke softly, brushing your hair away from your neck so he could place a gentle kiss on it. “What if we enjoy this moment for what it is, just for today.”
You smiled, kissing his hands. “Tomorrow then.”
“Plenty of problems await,” he joked, and you laughed before settling further into him. You smiled cockily as you felt him harden against you. Tomorrow indeed.
————
One month later
Peering from the carriage window, your heart thundered in your ears, drowning out the clap of horses hooves as guests arrived at the summer estate, music floating gently from within.
Dawned in all colours, you watched guests gasp in awe at the beauty of the building. This was one of many of Tarquin’s estates - one you had never visited. It was an open, grecian style home, golden columns holding the impressive entrance carved with shimmering vines. Fae flocked in groups, sparkling wine already in their hands as they made their way to the gardens, no doubt where the service was being held. 
“Are you alright?” Tamlin asked, the velvet of his deep green suit brushing against your bare arm. 
“Uneasy to say the least,” you said thickly, your tongue stiff with nerves. “And you?”
Tamlin looked beyond the window, eyeing each of the guests. “One step at a time,” was his response as he squeezed your knee. 
————
The curtesy wine offered to you at the entrance was gone within the first few moments of arriving. You wouldn't make a fool of yourself here, but a little wine to take the edge off couldn't hurt. 
Tarquin stood proudly, wearing a fine turquoise suit detailed with gold thread, shaking hands as he welcomed guests. 
“Y/N,” he beamed, taking your hands and kissing each of your cheeks. “I’m honoured you came.”
“The pleasure is mine, Tarquin. Thank you for having me.”
“Nonsense, both Creseida and I might have forced you here if you had not come willingly.”
You laughed freely. “How is she?”
“A wreck of nerves,” he chuckled. 
“I’m sure she looks beautiful,” you laughed lightly back. 
“She does, just as you do,” he winked, raising your hands he still held to take in your dress. A silken, soft blue dress fell of your body, its back open as material gathered just before your rear. The dressmaker had done an incredible job, fitting style and colour alike. You had politely declined her suggestions of a sage green, a Spring Court signature. It was kind, but you were courtless for over a year now, and proud of it. Instead, you had asked for sky blue – as no one ruled the skies. 
Blushing, you let out another soft laugh. “You are too kind, High Lord.”
Tarquins eyes flashed behind you, catching Tamlin as he spoke with some familiars a few paces away. “Have you…?” he questioned, trailing off.
You smiled knowingly. “I’ve come alone. Tamlin and I shared a carriage, journeying from the same court. You remember of my work there?”
“Remember? Sweetheart, there is talk of your mission throughout my court. There are guests here who are very keen to meet you. And we will need to formally discuss your work, and give a proper thanks to the aid you have provided at the border.”
You were smiling wide now, shaking your head with gratitude. “I would like that too, but perhaps not here.”
Tarquin grinned. “No, perhaps not. Welcome, sweet Y/N, please enjoy the festivities, and accomodation.”
You smiled politely as Tamlin approached, exchanging a firm handshake before raising his brows at you. “Shall we head in?”
Nodding tightly, you let Tamlin guide you with a hand at the small of your back. At the very least, the warmth of his skin against yours was a small comfort. 
The estate was even more impressive the further you ventured, white marble and golden staircases twisting this way and that, leading to corridors of rooms, each door carved to perfection. These were the guest accomodations, and included your own for the evening. 
But the jewel of the home was its view, where a perfectly groomed garden now catered to almost a thousand fae, overlooking the crystal blue Adriatic, the waves beneath crashing the cliff quieted by the string quartet. It was an overwhelming beautiful home, and you were glad to be lost in a sea of guests. 
 A golden arch was set at the end of a the aisle, a High Priestess exchanging words with a groom you did not recognise. But you smiled – you were happy for Creseida. 
“An impressive turnout,” Tamlin muttered, sipping his wine as his green eyes turned sharp, scanning the crowd. You ignored the glances being cast your way, whether it was from your attendance with Tamlin, or Tamlin’s presence alone, you didn't care. What did these fools know of either of your stories to judge.
And you tried not to look, to not let your heart beat fast as you scoured for a rare set of wings amongst the finery of the wedding, telling yourself you wouldn’t turn your heel and run at the site of any siphons or shadows or night. But you were thankful to not find any. 
That was, until you felt them. Muscles jerking, goosebumps pricked your skin as your power began to tingle sharply, spreading across your body like a rash. Shit – you hadn't anticipated to lose your lid in such a way, your power had been so forgiving this past year. 
A small gap parted in the crowd of guests at the stairs of the estate, and the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court were revealed. Arms loop, night curling around them in the fashion that impressed and threatened all at once. Rhysand shook hands with a nearby male, Feyre kissing the cheeks of a curtsying female. 
It shocked you, how quickly your spy instincts found you. As if in one of your many life-threatening missions, your senses narrowed, the noise in your brain focusing to immediate details – taking in only what you needed to survive, just as Azriel and Cassian had trained you. Your vision barrelled to the couple who still greeted others some distance away. Scanning behind them, you anticipated the remainder of your old family, and of course, your exes. 
Yet no one followed. Not even Mor. It seemed the High Lord and Lady had attended alone. It was strange – had things turned bad at the Court, that even the Morrigan had forgone a wedding?
Rhysand wore a handsome smile as he guided Feyre down the stairs to the garden, guests parting even further, bowing as they strode through. They were getting closer, and you ignored the clench of your heart as their scent filled your nose, before mixing with others. It was the smell of home.
No. it wasn't home. Not anymore, and not for a good while now. You hated that instinct, to curl into it, to let it welcome you, claiming you still. 
You glanced behind, conscious that they would find you standing with Tamlin. But he was no where to be seen, and you thanked him silently for the courtesy of having stepped away.
Rhysand and Feyre glided closer and closer, exchanging nods and accepting bows. And then they halted, violet eyes scanning before locking to yours, grey eyes shortly followed. And Rhys’s smile, the one that he used in the face of the public, it softened, his eyebrows twitching upwards almost unnoticeably. 
Feyre’s hand gripping at his arm tighter, and you could hear her heart fasten from where you stood. You almost resented how in-tune you were to them, these micro-behaviours. 
Glancing between them both, you followed the order of those next to you, lowering yourself to a polite curtsy. 
They couldn't reach you, not without drawing attention, not without the watchful eyes of hundreds of guests. So with a nod from Rhys, and a soft smile from Feyre, they continued on, finding their seats in the queues. 
————
Cresseida was the most beautiful bride you had ever seen. Golden vines were cuffed along her arms, as a silk gown as white as her hair trailed behind her as she walked the aisle, Tarquin proudly at her side. 
You smiled through your tears as she was married. You were happy for her– you were happy –you were… An unmarketable emotion filled you as you couldn’t help the run of tears that continued to pour, even after the ceremony ended. 
————
“And is it true that you were able to help the children at the border?” questioned one of Tarquin’s emissaries as she leaned in, raising her voice over the music. 
The party was in full swing, food had been served and hundreds of fae drank and danced, celebrating Creseida’s courtship, each of them eager to get even a glimpse at the bride and groom. 
“Yes, we were lucky to have an experienced healer join the mission, and she was already aiding some of the fae in Spring.”
The female smiled, and squeezed your arm. “On behalf of my court, we are grateful.”
“Not at all,” you smiled back. “Your authorities were notified, and from what I heard your own healers were already on their way. We were simply closer to that area, and had supplies to spare.”
It had been hours, and your company was still in high demand as endless Summer Court members were eager to meet you. Tarquin, it seemed, had been spreading you just as much praise as Tamlin. You had danced with many, exchanging jokes and stories, enjoying the festivities with some familiar faces and many new ones. 
It was a struggle to keep your eyes from averting, your instinct to find Rhys and Feyre in the crowd was loud and stubborn. Old habits, you supposed. 
Tamlin approached you then, having made himself scarce from your company for most of the evening, something you both had agreed to do. But you were comforted by his presence as he easily slid into the conversation, slipping a glass of fae wine into your hand without even asking. You smiled, giving his shoulder a thankful squeeze. 
There was an itchy, uneasy feeling that tugged at you, and you knew you were under watchful eyes. You found them, surrounded by their own acquaintances, and while Rhys masked his curiosity perfectly, Feyre’s stare bored into you from across the dance floor. 
Taking a large sip of wine, you let it warm you as you squared your shoulders. You would not cower, you would not shy away. And now was a better time than any.
So you strode directly to them, Feyre’s stare softening as Rhys pardoned himself from his conversation. Then, they were walking towards you to. 
You stopped a few paces shy from each other. Staring. It was…. awkward. 
But then Rhysand smiled. Warm and genuine and familiar. You hoped he didn't hear your silent curse to him. 
“You look well,” he said. 
You nodded, acknowledging the half-compliment, sensing their relief. No, you weren't that broken withered girl you were when you left. 
“How is Nyx?” The words flew from your mouth before you could stop them. You would have been more annoyed at yourself, but your care for that child was pure, and you knew they would never withhold him as currency. 
“He’s well, growing every day,” Feyre replied. “And walking all on his own.”
Your smile, be it small, was sincere. 
“He still… asks about you,” she added. 
Pain sliced through your heart then, and you weren't quick enough to hide it in your face. “Don’t,” you whispered, your voice strained. Gods, that didn't take long.
“I’m sorry,” Feyre said quickly, hands reaching out before she quickly drew them back in. “I didn't mean–“ she cut herself short, shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”
You cast your eyes to the side, blinking away the sting of tears. “It’s alright.”
Rhysand watched you intently. “Perhaps we can all use some fresh air? I spotted a terrace, free from other guests.”
The choice was yours, you knew that. You had things you wanted to say, and you were sure they did to. You nodded, following their lead as you quickly cast a look backwards, Tamlin offering you a tight nod as you left the room.
————
“So, mission work in Spring?” Rhys asked, wine swirling in his hand as he leaned casually against a column, warm summer breeze surrounding the three of you as the party continued faintly below. 
You nodded, your arms crossed at your chest. 
“It’s very impressive,” Feyre added from where she sat, offering a genuine smile. 
You didn't respond, unsure of how much detail to reveal. Rhysand caught on, sighing slightly. 
“We didn't bring you here to interrogate you for detail, It’s only that your work and whereabouts is quickly becoming widespread knowledge. We thought it was best to acknowledge that we know it too.”
“And what of Cassian and Azriel?”
“We have held true to our bargain on that.” You believed him. 
There was an award silence, unasked questions looming. 
“Are you safe there?” Feyre asked quietly.
“Very much so.”
“And Tamlin is–”
“A friend,” you said quickly. 
“– respectful to you, was what I was going to ask,” Feyre said with a knowing look.
You sighed then, running a hand through your hair. “I didn't do it to hurt you,” you said, with a straight face. You owed her no allegiance, but, you were done hurting others, and her concern did no one any good. 
“I know,” Feyre acknowledged, with the grace of a High Lady, of someone who knew that the past was the past. She shook her head then, before adding. “We worry for you, that is all.”
“He’s changed.” You were shocked at how quickly those words left your mouth. 
It was Rhys who threw you a condescending look. You hated how small it made you feel. 
“Look, I appreciate your warning, but Tamlin has shown strides of growth, he has acknowledged his mistakes and is working endlessly to undo them. When was the last time you looked within yourselves?”
Rhys flashed his eyes at you with warning, bringing an arm to comfort his wife. “Careful,” he said plainly, but a flash of darkness passed through those violet eyes. 
Damn him. And damn Feyre too. “You didn’t so much as try to stop them,” you breathed, your eyes welling with tears as you focused on her. Gods damn it – you thought you were past this, past them. But it was as if a year away meant nothing, you were just as hurt as that night you left the Night Court. Feyre watched with a pain expression as your lip wobbled. “And you didn't so much as try to apologise,” you whispered, your voice moments away from breaking. 
Feyre’s eyes now glistened with the same tears. “You shut us out,” she countered, and you could see how much your own choices had wounded her.
“What choice did I have?” you asked, brushing away a stray tear. “You think I want to be this way? You think I wanted to cast myself out? You broke my trust and lied to me, alienating me from this family. And I was supposed to come to you for an apology?”
Feyre gulped guiltily, looking at the floor. Rhys watched you intensely, a concerned frown on his face. 
“You’re right,” Feyre said quietly, grey eyes now finding yours. “But you must know Y/N, I am sorry. I’ve been sorry since the day it happened. I thought it wise for Azriel and Cassian to want to protect you, but I realised very quickly how it was that kind of thinking that trapped me within warded walls,  and that had me fleeing my home all those years ago.”
You nodded, casting your eyes upwards to not let the tears stain your face yet again. “We can't keep doing this.”
“What’s that?” Rhys asked gently. 
“This,” you gulped, waving your hands between you. “These sorry confessions and apologies, it hurts us all.”
“Alright,” Rhys said neutrally. “But you acknowledge our apology?’
“Yes.”
“Do you forgive us?”
Your lips pressed tight as you grimaced. 
“That would be a no,” Rhys said sadly, his smile broken. Feyre couldn't force one if she wanted to. 
“I want us to move forward,” you offered instead. “There is no use in resentment. It may be that we’ll continue to cross paths, and it is important to me that you know I will not respond illy.”
“Of course,” Feyre nodded, smiling. 
A sharp pain throbbed at your temples then, the kind that came about when you had to keep your emotions and powers under tight strain. It was instinct to rub at your temples. 
“Can I heal that for you?” Rhys was now standing in front of you, his smile remained but his eyes – heavy, saddened. 
You blinked up at him before flicking your eyes to Feyre who waited eagerly for you to respond. Was this a test? Could it be, after all that had happened, you could consider them just…friends? You searched within yourself for the right answer, but nothing came about. It was just too soon. 
But there was no harm in letting Rhys work some of his magic. “Alright,” you replied, and you heard Feyre loose a breath. 
Rhysand’s hands cupped the side of your face, his fingers pressing to your temples as the familiar feeling of him slipping into your mind sent a shiver down your spine. There was something in you, something impossible to kill that was comforted by his touch. He was, after all, your High Lord of decades. He had been your home, your family, and maybe there was some part of that would always remain. It upset you how much you had to resist the urge to wrap your arms around his waist, to pull Feyre in too, to sob of how much you missed home, your family, how much you ached while you were apart. 
It was over as quickly as it began, Rhys slipping from your mind, leaving no trace of a headache behind. You hadn't clocked that you had closed your eyes, your lip quivering as your cheeks were now wet with tears. Rhys kept his hands on your face, brushing them away. 
“Y/N–,” he said softly, his face pained. You knew what he would say – come home, even if you hate us, come home. But you wouldn't give him a chance. 
“T-thank you,” you stammered, pulling away from Rhysand’s hold and fleeing the terrace, leaving the two to their shock. 
————
You were brushing away hot, fast tears as you fled the wedding, racing towards your guest room. 
Gods, what was wrong with you today? You hated feeling like this – an unstable, blubbering mess. Nothing had changed in a year, not really. You were still the same, broken and alone. It hurt just as much to see your family now. 
To hell with this wedding. You craved a sleep tonic and to be rid of this night. That was when Tamlin fell into side-step with you. 
“Are you hurt?” he asked simply, muttering the words to avoid drawing attention as you passed through the crowd. 
“No,” you managed to say, and you could have kissed him for playing into the nonchalance. He seemed to respect privacy, even when there was little to be found. 
“I’ll walk you to your rooms.”
“No, Tam, I’m fine, you should–”
“Nonsense,” he replied, and you knew you wouldn't shake him. So you walked to your room,  sniffing through your tears as you tried to calm the current brewing at your fingertips, Tamlin by your side.
You reached your quarters, a private corner in a long corridor or rooms. The door was carved in  unique artwork, familiar somehow, as if beckoning you to enter from within. 
“If you’re sure you’re alright,” he said with an unconvinced look. 
“I will be, Tam, thank you.” 
You gave his hand a quick squeeze, before turning the handle to the door. 
And made it two paces in, before shadows filled your vision. 
————
You swore as strong hands held your shoulders, blue siphons a blur as shadows cast around you. You fought on instinct, but it was impossible to shake Azriel’s grip. 
“What in Mothers name–?!” you cursed again. 
“You’re safe,” Azriel spoke with relief. Despite yourself, your skin ignited at the husk of his voice.
“Get your damn hands off me,” you gritted, taking in the room as the smog of shadows finally cleared. 
Cassian was between you and the door, where Tamlin still stood, completely stunned. The General’s hands quickly curled into fists.
No one moved, each of you just as shocked to see the other. They had come for you, yes, but you were certain Tamlin was an unpleasant surprise. 
“Fuck,” you ground out, almost rolling your eyes as you knew the strife that now awaited your friend. 
Azriel moved you behind him, as if you needed to be shielded, protected. “What are you doing here, traitor?”
“Let her go at once,” Tamlin growled, stepping into the room. 
You stepped out from behind Azriel, your mind reeling at the sight of the two Illyrians in you room. You hated them, but something in you churned - a yearning. It was easy to stamp down as a rage took over. 
“What are you doing here?” you countered.
Azriel gave you a piercing look, running his eyes down your body. There was love in that look, but a sternness too. 
“Answer me,” you ground out. 
Cassian was still facing Tamlin, his siphons so bright they radiated heat. “Did you hurt her?” he growled at Tamlin, a shaking rage consuming him. 
“You hunted me? Like a mare?” your voice was ice cold, colder than any of these males could ever hope to perfect. Your trust, betrayed, again. 
That voice snared their attention. Cassian casting a look back at you, desperate, like he wanted to give you all of his time, to never stop drinking in the sight of you. 
You prowled closer, fingers twitching as your power grew so strong zapping could be heard. “Rhys’s promise to me, the bargain. You broke it,” you spat.
“Y/N.” Cassian said your name, begging you. His pain cut through to you, your power dampening as a sick, sick part of you folded at his plea. Go to him, that part of you begged. 
The room was filled with a sharp coldness and breeze as Rhys and Feyre winnowed into your quarters, Feyre’s face one of shock, Rhys’s one of fury. 
“What in Gods name are you doing here?” he growled at his brothers. 
“You left us no choice,” Azriel seethed back at Rhys, his wing stopping you as you silently moved to join Tamlin. 
You glared at him. “Try that again,” you growled. 
Azriel’s eyes were dark, predatory, but his brows pulled with a softness only reserved for you. “I do not trust him.”
“And I do not trust you,” you spat back. 
“The promise,” Rhys growled, glaring between his brothers. 
“Y/N, we had no idea they had come,” Feyre spoke with a desperation that you had to believe her. 
“Leave. Now.” Rhys ordered, but the males ignored him, his power underwhelming in another court. 
Cassian’s brow pulled, his face truly broken as he spoke to you. “You left us. And joined him?”
You snapped at the accusation. “I joined no one, because I belong to no one. I pursued a life beyond you, and I am a free female. Free to roam wherever I please, and fuck whoever I want.”
You words landed their mark, because both Azriel and Cassian recoiled.
And then Cassian’s face turned grave, as he slowly faced Tamlin again. “You-you touched her?”
You cursed yourself for the pointed insult – you should have known it would put Tamlin in the firing line. To his defense, Tamlin held a high chin. 
“She is a free female. Nor you or I can rob her of that.”
Azriel snarled, and Cassian was on Tamlin in an instant. 
“Stop that! Get off him! You will not hurt him!” you cried, broken at the thought of Tamlin being hurt because of you. 
But before you could throw yourself at Cassian, night magic filled the space, pulling the males apart, commanding the room to its master. And you were surprised to see Feyre walking towards them, her palms outstretched, night pouring from her as her eyes now glowed with silver. 
“Sensless violence ends now, I don’t care about the circumstance.” 
What did she mean by that?
“Leave,” Cassian snarled at Tamlin, but Tamlin held his ground. 
“He is welcomed to stay so long as Y/N sees fit,” Feyre spoke coldly, forcing Cassian’s eyes back to her. Now that, was a High Lady. “I can not believe you two–“
“You weren't invited?” you interjected, untrusting of your exes as you scowled between them. 
Rhys shook his head from across the room. “We went as far to hide the papers.”
You gulped as you stared up at Azriel. “Pray tell, how you found me, then?”
Azriel wore no remorse as he said “Amren – she possessed an invite and–”
Exasperated sounds from each of you filled the room. Amren, of course. She was the only one to know to play games above Rhys and Feyre’s head, and cunning enough to pull it off. 
“And what is your plan, then?” you added coldly. “Drag me back to the Night Court, kicking and screaming?”
“No, of course not,” Cassian responded softly, stepping towards you, stopping as you retreated back. “We had to know that you were safe.”
You stared at him, the sorrow in his voice, the bags under his eyes and the way his shoulders sagged. He was broken. 
“You were not well when you left, Y/N. It’s been killing us not knowing how you are faring now,” Azriel added, his eyes soft, looking just as worn as his brother. You knew he sang silently to his shadows as they coiled in on themself, they would be begging to reach you. 
“Please, don't be angry,” Cassian begged, his eyes welling. “We’ll go, we’ll go now, it’s just–”
“We love you. We- we need you,” Azriel interjected, his own brow clenched with pain. 
Each of their words were a dagger to your heart, piercing it’s way through the walls you had built. 
“Stop that,” you whispered, your hand pressing against your chest to ease the pain. Were these your feelings, or theirs?
“It’s true,” Cassian continued. “You’re our girl. We'll do better, Y/N, we promise. Please.”
It was painful to hear, and you faltered slightly as your body jerked in pain. Something was breaking within you, crumpling around something else, something buried deep. 
“Please Y/N, come home.”
Your knees gave out as you let out an anguished cry, your heart tearing and swelling to the point where you thought you just might die. 
“Y/N!” Tamlin called in panic, but Azriel and Cassian were already at your sides, holding you, asking where it hurt. 
Palms braced on the floor, you tried to breath through laboured breaths as you finally felt what was concealed for so long. It was unmistakable, a tether of sun-lit rope, tying you to the males at either side of you. You felt it all – their fear, the instincts to take you far from this place, their overwhelming, unconditional love. 
And you hated it. 
“No,” you gasped, your hand finding your heart as you tried to calm its pounding.
Azriel glanced at Cassian, who gave a single nod in confirmation. Feyre gasped from where she stood. 
“What is it?” Tamlin panicked. “What’s going on?”
“No!” you repeated, standing quickly and backing away from the two males. It couldn't be – you were free, you had left…
They watched you with saddened eyes at the horror that beheld you. 
“The Mother is cruel,” Rhys tutted, lowering his head in sympathy.
“What in the gods-forsaken realms is going on?” Tamlin yelled.
“No, no, no, no! Please, no!” You clutched at the roots of your hair, your mind reeling as you begged to no one. You were bound to them, whether you liked it or not. An enslavement of kinds.
“It snapped,” Feyre answered to Tamlin without ever turning his way.
It was too much to bare – their instincts, your newly ignited ones, their love, your hate. Your brain scrambled for sense, fighting itself over and over as you shook at your knees. 
A final ‘no’ pushed past your lips before your body gave out, the world tipping and your vision darkening as strong hands caught you. 
You succumbed to the gods damned mating bond. 
-------
Part 5>>>
AN: Helllllllllo my lovelies! I am so so bloody excited to share this part with you! It was a rollercoaster to write, hope you held on tight for this angst-train! Always, always, ALWAYS want to hear your thoughts and feelings on where this story is heading, so please drop a comment anytime. And thank you endlessly for your support with this fic - it means the world. MWA!!
1K notes · View notes
freyadragonlord · 1 month
Text
One of my favourite things about the end of The S-Classes That I Raised novel (major spoilers ahead),
is the realisation that the reason why Yoojin and Hyunjae's relationship looks so much like a love story at times is because it actually, honestly is.
Like, we know that sctir is a novel about love since the beginning, that's not surprising. Yoojin's capability for loving monsters (both literal monsters and the human kind) and the power of that love is at the centre of the plot.
But by the time you get to the end, you realise - and the author confirms this themselves in their final Note - that Yoojin's relationship and love for 2 specific people was the true core of the story, and what allows him to save the world in the end:
One is, of course, Yoohyun.
And that love is absolute; you cannot say that it's inevitable, cause we know Yoojin had to make a choice when he was a child between Yoohyun and his parents, and he almost chose his parents, but from the moment he decided to love Yoohyun onward, then it was unconditional and eternal. It's the love of a brother, but also the love of a parent and a caretaker.
And the other person is Sung Hyunjae.
And that love is not unconditional nor inevitable or absolute at all. It's not something that can be taken for granted. We actually see, because of how it ended between them before the regression, and thanks to the White Bird's power of seeing possible futures, that there were so many timelines where Yoojin and Hyunjae would have never come to care about each other fully (tho they are always at least somewhat interested in each other, because their personalities are actually really compatible).
But the White Bird also sees that the only possible future where the world is saved is the one where they love and hold on to each other. And that is how the story goes!
So, just like a romance novel, the necessary end is the one where they both love each other and accept that love. And it's not easy to get there! It's a slow burn.
From meeting to getting to know each other, appreciating each other's skills and intelligence, finding out they have fun together but still not trusting each other, to working on building that trust.
They go from a strong but superficial mutual interest to actually caring about each other as people.
Yoojin has to go through the self-doubt of feeling inferior and fearing that Hyunjae will lose interest in him. Hyunjae has to learn to stop pushing Yoojin away because he doesn't know how to handle having someone he cares about so much, and also someone that cares about him, because nobody in the world (except in part Song Taewon) likes Sung Hyunjae as a person, he is only ever admired from afar.
And in the end, after going through ups and downs and a few "break-up arcs", they make it. They accept their own feelings and each other's feelings.
And that's when Yoojin makes the choice to use the power that the transcendents gave him at the very beginning of the novel, to save Hyunjae. Not the world. Not even Yoohyun! Just Sung Hyunjae!
Yeah, the whole "gather 50 S-Class people", the very thing that gives the novel its title. That is not a power that is used to save the world!! It was meant to, but Yoojin is "selfish", and he will always choose to save the people close to him first.
And being able to love someone so selfishly gives Yoojin the power to save the whole world, too. As a bonus! A reward. Just a side effect.
So yeah. Is it romantic love? No. Canonically, there's almost no romantic love in the whole novel.
But is it a love story?? Yeah. Absolutely it is.
433 notes · View notes
witchthewriter · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐔𝐩 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐂𝐎𝐃 𝐌𝐚𝐧
⤷ gender neutral and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ
𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒏 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒆
Tumblr media
・The only time you are ever awake before John, is the morning after he's come back from deployment.
・You let him sleep for as long as possible, as much as you want to wake him and be his complete centre of attention, you don't.
・He looks too peaceful
・And younger; the worry lines are erased from his face, the stress completely dissolved
・You want to kiss him, nibble his ear, nuzzle his neck. Which you do eventually do, however, you wait for him to rouse himself from sleep
・When he looks at the clock, his eyes go wide
"Why didn't you wake me love?"
"Because you needed the sleep!"
"Well, know that I'd rather be sleep-deprived and with you, then asleep. So next time, please wake me."
𝑺𝒊𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝑹𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒚
Tumblr media
・Much like his Captain, Simon is always awake before you. Even the morning of his deployment. He doesn't even sleep when he gets back home.
・Just sits on the back porch, mug of tea in his hands and Riley at his feet.
・But when he's been sick, that's when you get the jump on him (no babe not literally)
・He's grouchy and moody. Sure that he's fine and doesn't need help.
・But the downside of looking after him, is that he doesn't want you to catch whatever he has. So no kissing. No cuddling.
・Well, his rules hold up for an hour, before your puppy dog eyes wear him down.
"Fine. C'mere love."
𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒏𝒏𝒚 𝑴𝒂𝒄𝑻𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒉
Tumblr media
・Ooh this man loves sleeping him.
・You cannot get this man up before 8 AM when he's off deployment (which may seem still early to some but for a soldier - it is a HUGE sleep in)
・Mumbles in his sleep too, so you can just lay there and hear a random story from your unconscious boyfriend
"And then his mask was actually ... just his face," he said with enthusiasm. Eyes closed, than back to snoring.
・It freaked you out at first. But now it's absolutely entertaining. Sometimes you take videos of him and send them to Simon, who always loves receiving them.
・In the morning, you like to snuggle close to Johnny. Your nose touching his. Eyelashes fluttering against his naturally dark ones.
・You love staring at him. You could do it for hours...except, he's start to notice.
"Oi, ye know starin' is considered creepy-"
𝑲𝒚𝒍𝒆 𝑮𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒌
Tumblr media
・Does love a good sleep in
・Especially with you in his arms, his face in the crook of your neck.
・When you feel a stir behind you, you're sure to grab the arm closest to you and secure it around you
・You hear a laugh behind you, but no resistance
"Thought you were asleep love."
"Hmm, thought you were too. Now scoot closer, you're letting the cold in."
・Luckily he can't see him rolling his eyes. Although, there is a small smirk on his lips
"Whatever you say, my darling."
"Watch your tone, Garrick."
𝑲𝒐̈𝒏𝒊𝒈
Tumblr media
・Loves kisses, especially on his shoulders. It makes him giddy inside.
・Sometimes he'll just pretend to be asleep so you can wake him up with kisses
・Other times, he can't stay in bed. He needs to pee.
・And as much as he wants to be quiet, he cannot. Whenever he wakes up, ultimately you wake up as well.
・Your personal heater is gone and you feel the chill near instantly
"Oh, es tut mir leid, Schatz, geh wieder ins Bett" (Oh, I'm sorry honey, go back to bed)
"No, I'll just have a tea and sit on the lounge. Will you join me?"
𝑨𝒍𝒆𝒋𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐 𝑽𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒔
Tumblr media
・Surprisingly, he's one to always be awake before you.
・Giving you a kiss before going downstairs to start on breakfast for the two of you.
・It's annoying when you do want to wake up before him, to take on the chores that he usually does.
・You even set an alarm underneath your pillow so that you could wake up before him.
・But you slept through the first alarm and he was the one to turn it off.
・Yet, whenever you do wake up, you immediately throw back the blankets and run downstairs to jump in his arms.
"Mi amor, what are you doing up?"
"I wanted to be close to you! I missed you."
"Aw, Calientas mi corazon querida" (You warm my heart, darling)
𝑲𝒆𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒖𝒔𝒔
Tumblr media
・Likes sleeping in but can't unless you're with him
・So you usually just flip over and land on top of him, knowing he was in the process of waking up anyway
"You comfortable there, kid?"
・His voice groggy and deep, a hand snaking it's way around your waist to keep you still
"The most comfortable," you said, scrunching your nose and giving him a peck on the mouth
"You comfortable?" You said sweetly, making sure to keep all your weight directly upon him.
"Incredibly," he said with a slight wheeze. But he didn't move, nor made a thought to. He loved the feeling of you so close.
・Knowing that he made it home again. To you.
527 notes · View notes
springtyme · 4 months
Text
18+ (mdni!) the simon playlist
Simon’s intensity is both a blessing and a curse; it draws you in like a moth to a flame, irresistible and relentless. His passion radiates from his very core, touching every aspect of your relationship, and that most definitely includes your sex life. 
There is a certain enchantment to being with someone whose desires and love burn so brightly. Simon’s unyielding intensity fills the room, overwhelming your senses, making you feel like the centre of his world. His touch is electric, igniting a fire within you that cannot be easily extinguished. 
However, there are days where darkness engulfs Simon, shrouding his heart in pain and anguish. On those days you catch glimpses of the haunting shadows that dance in his eyes, an echo of the inner turmoil he battles with. Simon’s past is a constant companion that lingers in the background of your shared existence. He has come a long way, though. You have helped him heal in ways he never thought possible and he isn’t sure that you’ll even ever understand just how much you have done for him. You offer him a safe haven, a sanctuary where he can express his emotions without judgement.
In your embrace, Simon finds solace from the demons that haunt him. Your love and understanding create a refuge where he can confront his past and find strength to continue his journey towards healing. You become his pillar of support, offering unwavering patience and compassion.
Through his moments of darkness, you hold his hand, reminding him that he doesn’t have to face his struggles alone. You offer a listening ear, allowing him to vent his frustrations, fears, and regrets. In your presence, he discovers the power of vulnerability and realises that it is okay to release the pain he has carried for far too long.
Your love-making becomes a sanctuary of its own - a space where Simon can lose himself in the physical connection and momentarily escape the weight of his past. With every touch, caress, and kiss, the intensity between you intensifies, creating a momentary respite from his inner battles. You provide not only physical pleasure but also emotional intimacy, a safe space for him to open up and explore the depths of his desires and fantasies.
Your relationship becomes a catalyst for Simon’s growth and transformation. In your unwavering support, he discovers the strength to face his past head-on and embrace his vulnerabilities. With you by his side, Simon begins to rewrite his own narrative, shedding the pain and darkness that once consumed him. With you he can be Simon, and only Simon, there is no Ghost around you. 
Together, you create new memories that overshadow the haunting shadows of his past. Your love becomes a beacon of light, guiding him towards a brighter future. With every passing day, Simon’s intensity evolves, no longer a curse but a liberating force that fuels his passion for life and deepens his love for you.
As you continue to navigate the complexities of your relationship, you cherish the intimate moments when Simon’s intensity becomes a canvas for shared vulnerability and profound love. You remain dedicated to supporting him, knowing that your presence has the power to heal and provide him with the strength to overcome any darkness that may threaten to consume him.
Together, you and Simon have built a foundation of trust, understanding, and unconditional love. And as you face each new day, you are grateful for the opportunity to be the one who helps him realise the tremendous impact his intensity has on both himself and your shared world.
551 notes · View notes
ffion451 · 1 year
Note
i will miss you a lot. please take care. 🫂🤍 you are amazing at writing. ily
You are too kind! I’ll keep dabbling with writing and hopefully will find some inspiration somewhere down the line and then I’ll be back to spam you with my scribblings again. Hopefully a rest will see me right and then I’ll be back and (hopefully) better!
(Those unfinished fics still irk me - I do like to tie up loose ends…)
Tysm for reading, for your support and your kindness. ily too 💛
2 notes · View notes
earthtooz · 11 months
Text
in which: itoshi rin has never thought about marriage- until he met you. 
fluff sprinkled with angst, rin is vulnerable and pathetic and lovesick, gn!reader
Tumblr media
itoshi rin has never thought about marriage.
he thinks it's a daunting, restrictive construct that should not mean as much as it does. so much money spent on something completely worthless and non-representative of what true love can look like- two couples don't need some legal certificate to prove their adoration for one another. that's mediocre and pointless.
rin would much rather spend his savings towards something productive and not some diamond encrusted, 24k gold ring, or whatever the fuck the jewellers are on about. he doesn't need to imagine a beautiful venue, or his family dressed for a celebration, or a honeymoon in venice.
itoshi rin has never thought about marriage- until he met you. 
you, unlike everything else good in his life, simply fell into the palm of his hands and proceeded to ruin everything with your arrival.
every thought he had about love and relationships being lukewarm was replaced with new visions of light and warmth, and you were at the centre of them all, brightening his previously-dull world with a simple, yet heartwarming smile. 
(rin thinks it’s his favourite sight- you looking at him like he’s worth something. like he’s kind enough to be loved and cared for.)
he freely admires the outline of your features, the slope of your jaw, where he loves cradling and holding. the curve of your lips and the way his slot perfectly against them. the space between your eyebrows where he kisses you the most because it’s comforting (more for him than you), he thinks he’s most fortunate to be the only one who gets to witness you like this, to touch and taint you like this.
how did he get so lucky?
giving in to his greatest desires, rin shuffles closer to you and wraps an arm tightly around you, eliminating the space that sleep has created between you. he tucks you in where he needs you most: right beside him, and sighs contently when he feels your warmth.
he wonders what you see in him. amongst the constellation of unresolved issues, abrasiveness, and glacial attitude that is itoshi rin, you have found something in him to love, to cherish, to hold. now that he’s had a taste of happiness, he doesn’t want to let go even though he knows you’re too good for him; that you’re too lovely and wonderful for someone as wretched as him to keep.
you have lit up his world and he does everything he can to keep your fire alive. 
he doesn’t want to imagine what will become of the world again when you leave. for the night will never end because there will be no sun for the moon to chase, no revelry amongst the expanse of darkness. for the waves might never meet the shore again, for the fruit will never bear again, and the mountains will shrink into the plains; leaving itoshi rin to wander in a world of solitude and destitute.  
so instead, he imagines a beautiful venue, his family and friends dressed to the nines for a celebration, a luxurious honeymoon in venice, and you, the most glorious and praiseworthy of all.
“i love you,” whispers the dark-haired. you shift slightly in his grip but you don’t fully rouse, and he’s relieved to know that you have not yet woken, because his love is loudest when the world is silent. “i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.”
rin hugs you a little tighter.
he imagines about living a life bound by matrimony. he thinks about a life with matching rings to represent the love you have for one another. he thinks about a life with you as his only forever; a life so sweet, he begins tearing up. 
reaching for your hand, rin’s thumb rubs your ring finger. “it’s you, it’s only you, i’ll only ever want you.” he kisses it, not liking how empty and vacant it feels underneath his lips.
soon, rin will go. he’ll go to the most extravagant jeweller he can find and search and search until one deems itself worthy of you. if he cannot give you the world, then this will do in the meantime (because he will keep searching for a way to do the former).
with a shaky exhale, he presses his forehead to yours before closing his eyes, longing to see you in his dreams. 
he hopes you never leave him, and if his (cruel) heart is not enough to convince you to stay, he can only hope that a diamond ring- the most expensive one at the store, will do the trick.
(he is yours, body, mind, and soul, all at your mercy. the only thing itoshi rin wants in return is for you to say 'yes'.)
Tumblr media
© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
1K notes · View notes
futfemfantasies · 3 months
Text
Tillie teasing \\ Mapi Leon x reader
2017
Stepping off the plane in Barcelona, the heat immediately hits you in the face. After clearing customs and collecting the many bags you've brought, a woman holding a sign with your name and the Barca logo under it waves you down. You find out she's the assistant manager and that the team sent. After anxiously fiddling with your fingers, the car turns into Barca's training centre. Backpack in hand, you follow the assistant manager as you meet all the behind the scenes people.
When meeting the team, you look eyes with who you believe is 'Maria'. She smiles at you and holds her hand out for you to take. When someone starts speaking to the both of you, your hands drop and a subtle blush both of your cheeks. You nod as you got the basics of the conversation, something about you and Mapi and an apartment. A soft nudge in your ribs turns you towards the brunette. She holds out her phone and you see google translate on.
Looks like we'll be seeing more of each other beautiful. They are putting us in the same apartment.
You smile and point to her phone as to say you want to type something. She nods and you type away.
Can't wait gorgeous :)
After the flirty interaction, you both move to the locker room and field to check it out. Since you both don't have to participate in this training, coach says you can go home and rest. The same driver from the airport takes you and Mapi to the apartment.
2019
Throughout the 2018/19 season, you, Alexia and Mapi become the Aussie/Spanish trio no one needed but everyone loved. You taught them English and they taught you Spanish in return, allowed Barca to organise more media interviews in the 2nd language. Alexia noticed over the last couple of years how smitten you both are with each other so she decided now is the time to meddle.
"Hola y/n/n, are you free tomorrow at 7?" Alexia asks as she swings an arm over your shoulder.
"Yeah, why?"
"Maps, are you free?" Alexia ignores your question as she turns to Mapi on her other side.
"Depends"
"Great. I'm not so enjoy your date chicas!"
You and Mapi look at each other before laughing at what had just happened. You and Mapi walk to the car talking about who should plan the date.
Safe to say the date led to both of you confessing your love for each other and the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
2020
Before anyone realised, the world was shit down due to covid. You were extremely anxious the first few weeks as the area in Australia where your family and friends live got Covid first. Then you and Mapi saw how fast it was spreading in Spain. Mapi had been your rock through it all. She always was there to distract you from the news from outside. Since you were in lockdown with the rest of the world, you couldn't see your best friends from the Tillies so you all had to resort to Zoom calls.
"So y/n/n, what's up with you and Mapi?" Macca teases as she wriggles her eyebrows in a playful way.
"Nothing is go- hola bebé" Mapi leans over and kisses you quickly before you realise how she's dressed.
"Nothing going on my ass!" Sam yells out, focusing you back on the call.
"Okay we're dating but you cannot tell a single soul. I mean it"
"Oooh protective y/n/n"
2021
Early in this year, the Tillies had a camp in Australia for the Olympics qualifers for Tokyo. Spain had a break during this time so Mapi though she'd come and support you and you girls (but you didn't know that). Currently; you, Sam, Macca, Caitlin, Steph and Alanna are eating breakfast when the woman of the hour calls you. Macca looks at your phone and her eyes go wide at the name.
"Hola bebita"
You stand up and move away from the table to escape their teasing, oh how wrong you were. When you come back the girls are making kissy faces at you and you shush them before anyone sees.
"How's lover girl?" Sam asks with a mouthful of banana.
"Fine, bored without me I think"
"Yeah, I bet she is" Macca mumbles before being elbowed by Caitlin.
A few hours later, you all arrive at the stadium for teh game against China. You are in the starting lineup alongside Sam and Caitlin. For some reason you are nervous, even though you shouldn't be. You receive a text from Mapi of her decked out in your yellow jersey and dark green shorts.
Maps 🔥: not sure which one you're wearing so I'll wear both :) good luck out there mi amor, go qualify for the olympics <3 p.s. i love you princesa 😘❤️'.
You: we're wearing the yellow so your pants need to come off now? 😉 Thank you for watching mi amor, it means a lot ❤️ p.s.s. i love you too. talk after xx
With a boost of confidence, you walk out with your team and made sure you win. After the first half, Australia was still goalless, sam eas China. Going back on the pitch, everyone gives it their all then disater struck. China got a goal. 1-0. You gave Sam and Caitlin the look and you all work in overdrive. Meanwhile in the stands, Mapi was stressing. She knows how important this game and any Matildas games are to you. Normal game time finished and 4 extra minutes were added. You look up and see the extra time and yell to the girls. Within 2 minutes of that, you get a through ball from Caitlin and non one is around so you take a shot. You know it's going in but you check anyway and start running around like a crazy person. Alanna pushes you down and starts a dog pile. The game quickly restarts and then the whistle blows for full time. You wave out to the crowd and see the familiar neck tattoo. You run over to your mismatched girlfriend and hug her tightly.
"What are you doing here?"
"Wanted to surprise you princesa"
You respond by kissing her and pulling away before too many teammates saw.
"I fly out tomorrow. Are you coming with me?"
"Of course, I'll change the flight tonight"
"Meet me at the hotel and you can stay with me" Mapi nods and gives you a quick kiss before moving back for the fans to meet you.
Little do you know, your best friends were watching the whole interaction. You walk back to your friends and they start making kissy faces so you walk away, making them look like idiots.
Back at the hotel, Mapi is waiting texting you every minute if you're here. You get inside and spot her instantly. Mapi feels two arms go around her waist and a kiss on her cheek, she relaxes instantly.
"Ready for bed?"
"Let me get my bag from my room and I'll come?" You nod before telling her the room number. A small peck and she's off towards the elevator.
You feel a sharp slap on you back and you look towards Macca, giving her a death glare.
"I'll stay with Lani tonight"
"Thanks Macca"
After going up to your room, you see Mapi waiting outside. You sneak up on her again and she give you a hard glare. The door unlocks and Mapi walks in, dropping her bag at the foot of the messy bed. Since you showered at the stadium, you get straight in bed signalling mapi to join you. You quickly change Mapi's flights and she's now on the same flight back sitting next to you. You cuddle up to the Spaniard and try not to fall asleep.
"Bebé?" Mapi whispers.
"Hmm?"
"I want to post us" You open your eyes and look confused and the heavily tatted woman.
"You want to announce us on Instagram?" You confirm and Mapi nods. You show Mapi the photo that one of the staff had taken and sent to you. Mapi agrees and you post it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tumblr media
liked by stephcatley, samanthakerr20, caitlinfoord, mackenziearnold, marialeonn16 and 56,843 others
ynyln: goals and surprises… best day in the office 🤩🥺
view all 8,901 comments…
marialeonn16: te amo princesa x
Ynyln: my baby ❤️
samanthakerr20: it’s about damn time
Ynyln: stfu
Mackenziearnold: no more secret keeping… yay! Happy for you xx
Ynyln: love you xx
caitlinfoord: so you both can visit now?
Ynyln: we will, promise!
2022
Tumblr media
Liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16, alannakennedy, mackenziearnold and 104,723 others…
Ynyln: six years later… can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together… te amo mi amor ❤️
346 notes · View notes