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ineffably-human · 6 months

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This is a pirate story.

Like everyone you'll meet for a long, long time, you don't come to this life because you choose it. You become a pirate to stay alive, and you spend every day of that life pushing forward to the next one, with your teeth bared. You survive out of spite, surrounded by death. You watch death delivered again and again, to stronger and weaker men alike, as you push forward in a world that tells you it's a battle just to exist.

You find an island of survival with someone as lost as you are. Like you, he has no one, so you teach him what knowledge you've managed to gather. He quickly surpasses you, able to think and command in the ways you can't. But his mind is strange and it wanders; he follows stray whims. His mood lifts and falls like the tide. You know how to be steady, to be blunt and rough in turns, to dig in when he needs an anchor. So you learn to work together - and you thrive.

He takes a command and his name becomes legend, and you, you're his second. This is your job now, and you're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can move him, the only one that understands him. You know that one day you'll get your reward, acknowledgment for your role, something that's not just attached to his name. But maybe it doesn't even matter - because there's a place for you beside him, and you know where you fit. As long as this is yours, then you know who you are.

And then the tide shifts. He's temperamental, searching for a new life while you're still focused on keeping this one afloat. And someone catches his eye, some idiot pretender who's too lucky to die. You grasp after them, violent, trying to yank him back as this latest novelty pulls him away. You spit an oath: 'I'm not dying, not for your new toy and not for you.'

You have to stomp out anything that intrudes on the place you've made, so he survives, so you survive. But he's bored and you're angry, and no one fears you, and the rules have changed. The pretender lives, where any other man should have rightfully died, and you're displaced. And every minute you're gone, you know he moves farther and farther from you, lured by fancy things and mannered voices, by play-pretend cartoon versions of the real things he earned.

They're things he earned by being diamond-brilliant and seeing with vision you don't have, things you earned with your hand guiding him back on course. It's a course you can't find anymore, not without firing shots. You'll sign a deal with the devil in order to find the means. But when the gunsmoke clears he's already gone, and your face hurts where he struck you.

He returns before long - abandoned by the shiny, stupid whimsy that pulled him in, just like you knew he would be. But he just breaks harder from it, and resolves to keep breaking. It's a fate worse than death - it's a stranger in his body, in someone else's gaudy clothes. That stranger's naked pain, their softness, their weakness. It's choking the life out of him, leaving you with a perfumed shadow that weeps for someone who never deserved him.

You pull him back with abuse and threats; you smile when you realize you can still draw the rage back out of him. You bleed for it, and that feels all the better. You know this terrain, you know how the ship rocks in the waves and moves under your feet. You know how to temper the eyes that glare at you in the dark, just as you always have.

You've done right. You've done it for the both of you.

His poison spreads in his veins. Then it bleeds up to the surface, and keeps spreading. It turns to something uglier still: crueler, more desperate, a fire that consumes everything and you're the one who lit the match.

You've earned his hate, but you can bear it. You need to keep his eyes on you, not so he doesn't drift, but so no one else is wounded. He keeps cutting pieces off of you. He keeps demanding you go, and go, and never stop, like a whirlpool that spirals down to the bottom of the world.

(In the fugue of those endless days, sometimes you feel arms gripping you tight because they can tell how you're coming apart. You aren't ready to feel them yet; you aren't ready to think about what they mean.)

You find yourself speaking of love, asking him to use his words - even though you've never known how to make love or words sit in your mouth. You almost die once, twice. You're suddenly begging for death where living was the deepest pride you had. But you're not done yet - you're not done, something won't let you be done - because you know you have to drag yourself upright and put a stop to the monster you fed.

Only you can do this, only you should do it. Because every time he asked you to let him change, to soften, to die you still refused. And now there's only one end to this.

Suddenly, you know what a fate worse than death really is.

You still can't bear to get rid of his body.

Then like some twisted miracle, that man reappears. The man who is everything you hate, so pampered and thoughtlessly gentle, comes out of the sea to view the havoc you wrought.

You lie to him for the sake of the crew, sure he'd never be able to handle what his absence helped create. But he knows. He understands this person that only you understood. He knows what's been done and why it had to happen. He knows the most important thing is that everyone else survives. He waits until they're safe before he lets himself feel the pain.

He loves this man you nearly destroyed, even now. He loves him enough to wake the dead, in a world where death is as common as breathing. How is his soft, stupid heart still alive, in this world that nearly broke the rest of you? He's stronger than you thought, somehow. He's stronger than you, and maybe he always was - the only man who ever chose this hard, ugly life.

They vanish somewhere ashore to start healing, and you're left alone with yourself and all the things you've gotten wrong. You have lost so much blood and pounds of flesh. Your fangs are blunted in your mouth, and when you ask your reflection who he is, it doesn't have an answer.

And then, they answer for you.

Your crew helps you stand again, bolstered by pieces of the ship you tried to blow apart. Their ship is part of you now. You're part of them, now. They didn't have to, and you don't deserve it, and the new leg they help you stand on shouldn't bear your weight.

It holds anyway. Love is stronger than you thought. You let yourself cry for the second time in weeks, the second time in decades.

Suddenly the world is wider, and there are people in it. You drink and bicker, you shape wood into art and pain into half-truth. (You say: 'I lost my leg feeding sea monsters where I should have let them sleep. Stupid of me, reckless of me.') Sometimes you laugh, and you're surprised when there's no edge in it.

You drink again, it's quite a lot of drinking. But it's to move forward to tomorrow, not to keep still. You still refuse to stop moving.

You relearn yourself, how to move with new grace. You teach what you know to the man you hated, and understand that it's still part of you, that you didn't lose it when you shed the rotting flesh that no longer served you. You watch and you listen, guarding the world they gave back to you, walking with a limb made from the wood that keeps them afloat. Even when you're silent, you heal together, not apart.

The man you hated becomes more than you ever expected. The man you loved finds more peace than you could ever give him. There are things you still have to tell him, someday when you know the words, when you know how to be the person who says them. For now they still burn in your throat, but you're learning you can be other things.

You paint your eyes and lips, and you don't feel weak, you feel brave. You feel beautiful, feel seen, in ways you didn't know you could be seen. You'd never realized before, just how much you'd wanted everyone to see you.

Your ribs crack and a voice comes out, a song you didn't know you had - or that you buried a long time ago. The ship is decked in flowers and fairy lights, and you help create something beautiful where the darkness used to live.

The crew hears your song and they dance to it, they make love to it. They call out for another one. You tell them that you have one more.

---

You deny there are storms on the horizon. You can't change the weather, you can only point towards clearer skies. You're trying to let them be the ones to steer.

The storms come anyway. You became a pirate to stay alive, took to the sea because there was no chance for you on land. But part of the world still wants people like you gone. It won't let you rest.

A man comes for your ship and your port, for your people. He comes with fancy things and mannered voices, with play-pretend cartoon dreams that cut him where he didn't expect it. He treated this life like a plaything, and it scarred him, so he's decided to burn it down.

He's the kind of man that has everything and still wants more. The kind that insist the world be a certain way and, for those who refuse, meets them with gunfire and irons. He asks to speak with you, only you, sits with you at the table and looks you in the eye like you could ever be one of his. And he says, 'don't you want to be honored for all you've done? For the world to know exactly who you are?'

And you answer, because you have one more song in you.

---

This is a pirate story:

You're more than your mistakes or the things you've lost, more than the voice that said you had to be cruel to live another day. You're more than the grasping, ugly part of you that needed power and rage in order to be seen.

You're part of something immortal: something that builds family out of refugees and love out of poison, that can never be controlled. It's something so much bigger than you, but it will never leave you, not even if they shoot down every last one of you. Because dying is easy, and living is instinct. But enduring, saying you're here and you always will be, is -

For once, you're not fighting to live or begging to die. You're bigger than both. You're exactly what you need to be.

You are good. You can have good, you can make good. You'd never believed that before, but you only had to reach out and decide it. It was always there for you, waiting.

They will always try to break you, but they can't take that from you. They can't take it from the ones you love. It exists until the end of the world.

---

Some of your jailers die poisoning themselves. Others, you cut down in the escape.

When the gun goes off, you know what's happened before you even feel the wound in your gut. But you don't tell them. You will not slow them down. You wait until they're safe before you let yourself feel the pain.

You're not even angry. Maybe you'd have lived if you were angrier, maybe you'd have stood further back or just not been there at all. Maybe you'd have made another deal with the devil, when they asked. But it feels so good, for once, to not be angry.

You know you need to tell him. There's no more time. You'll have to be the kind of person who can make the words come, in front of all of them.

You held him back, kept him from the peace he wanted. You needed him too much to let him go. But he deserves everything he ever wanted. There are people waiting to love him, even if they don't have to, even if he doesn't deserve it. He just needs to realize they're waiting, to reach out and let them.

They'll love him better than you ever knew how to love him, to love yourself. They'll let him be whatever he needs to be.

He cries for you, even after everything. You look up to where the crew has gathered, and you realize - most of your life, you always thought you'd die alone...

You've seen death a hundred times, lived in a world where it sat constant at your heels. You've outfought it, and begged for it. You've learned there are things far worse.

You wouldn't have looked for death, if you'd lived through this. It's not that you're eager to go. You're just...ready.

---

Yes, there's a version of this story where your body survives - where you take revenge with the others and take back what part of the waves you can grasp. Until you're old enough to misstep and fall in the next raid, perhaps. (You doubt you'd ever truly want to settle, not if you had a choice.)

There's a version of the story where you're a spirit that lives in the ship's secret passages. Where you're a bird that follows the waves. There's a story where your soul haunts the fledgling inn where they buried you, watching over him even now as he learns what he's capable of.

There's a version of the story where you're a grave and a memory. You're a voice he imagines when he drifts, steering him towards clear skies. You're a song stuck in their heads. You endure in the way the lucky endure: a piece of you that sits in whoever misses you.

There are no versions of this story where you really die, any more than piracy dies. Maybe he would have died - the man you were before, who stood apart from the world, who knew he'd die alone. But not who you've become. You can learn to rest, but you can never be killed.

Some things are too big and important to die. Some things are fucking indestructible.

#fandom: ofmd #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #izzy hands #i am a meta gremlin #i never know if these kinds of things could be considered meta or fic really #a little bit of both #anyway: i think it's a really damned good story actually #as much as stories are things that are also alive - i think this one should be celebrated as a life would be

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mel-loly · 1 month

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-Happy Easter..💛

#hi! so.... I'm going to say something different today. just so you don't ““insult”” me and say that I say the same thing every year!/j #for those who don't know. both the bunny and the chocolate egg have a true and also christian meaning!#being that of the egg: “eggs symbolize rebirth and renewal. which makes them perfect for celebrating the story of jesus’ resurrection.”#and the bunny: “the animal was associated with easter because it reproduces quickly and symbolizes fertility and new life.”#(I took this two from a google search. being it in the PORTUGUESE version. so I just translated it.#if you want to look for it in real english. look for it!)#so... it's okay if you want to give someone a chocolate egg or something like that. give a stuffed bunny to a child or someone too.#because there's really no problem #not only because of the real meaning. but there is no reason not to give as a gift something that is also special for that day.#and it's also cute gifts!#just.. DON'T MAKE IT A “SORRY EXCUSE” TO NOT CELEBRATE WHAT THE HOLIDAY REALLY IS!#which is the resurrection of christ! who died on the cross for all of us. ok!?#and yeah.. well. I'm leaving! I hope you have a great day and a blessed easter!! love you all!💛#happy easter #easter #easter art #i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog #art #my art #my art <3 #art mel #my art style #my oc character #mel creator #resurrection of jesus #resurrection of christ #bible verse

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jorgeparaiso · 1 month

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THE CELEBRATION TOUR

2024 Digital illustration

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sherlock-is-ace · 3 months

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Remember when all you pieces of shit were hating on Anna for being young and dating Michael? Remember when you accused her of taking advantage of him to impulse her career or whatever the fuck you said? Remember when you attacked anyone who said "they're two grown ass people, they can do whatever they want"? Remember that?

And now here you are, shipping her and Georgia, writing fanfiction and speculating about their lives and claiming to know exactly what their relationship is or isn't?

Yeah... Why don't you find a hobby that doesn't involve prying into other people' lives?

#hello i woke up from a nap in A Mood™#and i'm once again angry about y'all's lack of boundries and respect for celebrities #famous people are not your friends you don't know them #they don't owe you their life story or any information for gods sake just be normal about people!!#michael sheen #anna lundberg #david tennant #georgia tennant #angel talks

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growingexjocks · 11 months

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Life in the Fastfood Lane - Charlie Gillespie: Ch 2

- Ch 1, Ch 2

As the story continues, Charlie's weight gain becomes more pronounced. He has gained a significant amount of weight, both fat and muscle, and his appearance has changed dramatically. Others on set begin to take notice, including his close castmate Owen...

Charlie's body continued to change, growing bulkier as he tried to build muscle in addition to the extra fat he was carrying. He found himself in a constant battle between his desires and the expectations of his acting career. His physique continued to evolve, with a combination of muscle and fat that made for an imposing and unique appearance.

His once-flat stomach now sported a prominent, jiggly belly, while his muscular arms and pecs had grown even more massive due to his new workout routine. Charlie had gained a significant amount of weight, and his once chiseled abs had been replaced by a rounder belly.

As he took off his shirt during a scene on set, his belly jiggled, catching everyone's attention, including his castmate Owen. It was a dramatic difference from when they originally had practiced the scene during the pilot a month ago.

Charlie's appearance overall had evolved dramatically. His once rock-hard abs faded, replaced by a round, jiggly belly. The ex-jock had transformed into a handsome, fuller version of himself, and both he and Owen found the change to be incredibly appealing.

Owen approached Charlie, curiosity and amusement dancing in his eyes. "What happened to you, man?" he asked, not unkindly.

Charlie laughed and replied, "I discovered In-N-Out, and it's been a game-changer."

Owen, feeling adventurous and attracted to Charlie's new look, suggests they have some fun with it. Owen couldn't help but flirt a little, "Well, I think this new look suits you."

Intrigued, Charlie asked if Owen would like to help him with his new "project." Owen agreed, and they made plans to meet at Charlie's trailer after the scene wrapped up.

When Owen arrives, he finds Charlie indulging in a box of a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, chocolate smeared all over his face. Owen can't help but feel turned on at the sight of Charlie eating so enthusiastically, his face flushed with excitement. Charlie notices Owen's reaction and playfully offers him a donut, teasing him that if Owen won't feed him, he'll just have to do it himself.

Owen spots Charlie's workout bag and asks him what's inside, considering he doesn't seem to work out as much anymore. Charlie, pretending to be insulted, lifts his tank top to reveal his round belly and asks if Owen thinks he doesn't work out or have abs anymore. Charlie then jiggles his belly, revealing the truth about his current physical state.

Feigning offense, Charlie lifted his tank top, revealing his round belly. "What do you mean? Don't you think I still work out? Can't you see my abs?" he joked, jiggling his belly for emphasis.

Owen smirks and retrieves a pair of gym shorts and a tank top from Charlie's workout bag. These clothes would have fit Charlie 30 pounds ago, but now they are much too small. The clothing was clearly too small for Charlie now, but he held them up anyway, playfully daring him to try them on. He then took out a jar of weight gain powder and asked, "What's this for? Gaining muscle or fat?"

Charlie grinned, a twinkle in his eye, and replied flirtatiously, "Both."

Feeling a mix of excitement and curiosity, Owen challenges Charlie to try on his old workout clothes. Charlie obliges, squeezing himself into the skin-tight shorts and struggling to pull the tank top over his now-massive frame. When he emerges from the bathroom, his fat, muscular ass is accentuated by the tight shorts, and his tank top rides up his belly, unable to contain his newfound girth.

His muscular arms bulge out from the sides of the tank top, and his pecs jut out above his round belly. Charlie looks absolutely enormous in the overly tight clothes, and Owen can barely contain himself. He feels an intense desire to touch Charlie, to feel the contrast between his soft rolls, overgrown muscles, and ample ass.

Charlie grabbed Owen's hand and asked him to massage and rub his softening belly. Owen, always up for an adventure, agreed to help Charlie indulge in his desires.

Owen prepared a weight gain shake using the powder and two tubs of ice cream. The concoction was thick and rich, perfect for Charlie's quest to add more weight to his already changed body. Owen found a beer funnel and began pouring the shake into Charlie's eager mouth. They both felt a sense of excitement and anticipation as Charlie guzzled down the shake.

As Charlie consumed the shake, his belly grew more bloated, straining against the waistband of his too-tight shorts. Owen, intrigued by the contrast between Charlie's belly and his own toned abs, removed his shirt to compare their physiques. The sight of Owen's muscular body next to Charlie's softer, rounder figure heightened the intensity of the moment.

Unable to resist the attraction between them, Charlie and Owen shared a passionate kiss, their hands exploring each other's bodies. Owen found himself drawn to Charlie's belly, gently caressing and admiring the soft roundness he had helped create.

A month later, Owen and Charlie could be seen at the beach making their debut as a couple, as well as Charlie's debut showing off his new beach bod. Headlines were sure to make a fuss over the heart throb's sudden and rapid weight gain.

Life in the Fastfood Lane - Ch 1, Ch 2

More WG Stories by me - Tumblr, Wattpad

#charlie gillespie #ex jock #Life in the fastfood lane #owen joyner #ex jock story potential #fat male celebrities #gainer stories inspo #fit2fatcelebrity #exjock #weight gain edit #fat #fat belly #chub #gaining

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found--family · 9 months

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they couldn't let cesar and jesse return bc they would've taken one look at dean and cas interacting and known they had it bad for each other

#and sam is just like. oblivious. bc i think that's funnier 😂#meanwhile dean and cas are pining away for each other like the beautiful dumbasses they are..#cesar says to cas all easy and patient and knowing: so how long have you been in love with dean?#and cas is surprised and scared and tries to deny it but overcompensates by saying he loves all of humanity #meanwhile jesse is talking to dean like: what do you mean you're not in love with him dude i have eyes. dean: ??!!#cas @ cesar: i love dean bc i love humanity i love them for all their faults and quirks and beauty.. *thinking about freckles + bowlegs*#dean @ jesse: you don't know what you're talkin bout man! jesse: oh so now you're going to get angry and defensive like that isn't #overcompensating and an obvious tell that i speak the truth. dean: yo-.. shutup!!#cas @ cesar: .. humanity really is quite remarkable and so worthy of love when you think about it. and affection. and praise..#dean @ jesse: --swayze always gets a pass!! jesse: oh so he's on your celebrity exception list? dean: yeh man of course he is.#jesse: mhm. even though he's a guy? dean: ... who HASN'T had gay thoughts!?!#cas @ cesar: humanity should really eat more vegetables and drink less alcohol and sleep more. but this life can be difficult #and habits are hard to change and i will be there to help in any way i can like making coffee just the way humanity secretly likes it..#dean: *frazzled and exhausted as jesse hands him a beer* --i prefer the classics: Say Anything. When Harry Met Sally. Princess Bride..#jesse: *nodding along as they chat about chick fliks* cas @ cesar: i help with humanity's laundry. i once found a pair of jeans #in humanity's room with the legs torn off. i thought something awful had happened during a hunt but humanity wouldn't be able to #regrow his legs without my angelic assistance.. unless humanity met another angel.. *white knuckles the chair in possessive jealousy*#dean: *getting teary as he talks about dory's story* sam: *walking in on cas cracking the chair + dean sobbing into his beer #but taking no notice bc his eyes are on the ipad in his hands* so get this--#destiel #crack #thoughts #😂😂😂😂😂

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animalsandmagic · 1 month

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Celebrating Easter My Way

Easter long ago stopped being about the usual things and took on a new meaning to me. What I used to look forward to most on Easter was the big chocolate bunny I always used to get. Once I couldn't have that anymore, I didn't feel much like celebrating until I began to think differently. I couldn't have chocolate bunnies anymore, but I still had my real one. Ever since then I had been celebrating having a real bunny every year, but for the last two years I haven't had a rabbit to celebrate with so instead it has become a day of remembrance to me until the day I once again have a rabbit in my life.

So, today I remember and celebrate the fact that all these special bunnies were a part of my life.

My First Rabbit Friendly

Friendly, was a Dutch rabbit that was given to me the summer after 2nd grade as a reward for making my first communion as having both selective mutism and social phobia made it really hard for me to do this. The day I got her I immediately named her Friendly as I had decided that she was going to be my best friend and she proved to be this.

Though our first day was not our best as we didn't yet have rabbit supplies and I had to hold her until my parents came back from the pet store which was more than my new pet's bladder could handle so while even back then I understood she didn't have a choice just as I didn't have a choice but to continue holding her, it was not our best moment together even if it was a memorable one.

My first rabbit lived up to her name every day. She was always there to help me get through the anxiety filled school mornings and never failed to make me feel better after coming home from every stressful day of school, which for me was every day I went to school.

My most memorable moment with Friendly was back in 7th grade when I had to be picked up from school by my sister as I had ended up in the nurse's office after my anxiety got out of control the day I was supposed to join the bowling team at school. I had a friend that said she would join with me, but then ditched me so I ended up waiting for her not knowing she changed her mind and panicked when it was time for the bus to come. I never even made it into the classroom and unfortunately my mom had gone to the bowling alley expecting to see my first day of bowling so I had to talk to my sister on the phone for the first time ever. Luckily, I had a great rabbit to come home to. Friendly was forever patient and always willing to stay with me as long as it took for me to feel better. She loved being petted so this day, she got more of it than ever before.

The most unusual things about Friendly were that she wouldn't eat fresh vegetables and I taught her to play dead.

The summer after that moment in 7th grade was our last one together. I made some mistakes not realizing just how easily rabbits can get sick. I have never let myself forget it was my fault she died and always use that memory to make sure I do better with each rabbit.

When the next year started I had begun life with my next rabbit.

My Second Rabbit Oreo

Oreo was a Dutch mix according to the shelter, though to me she appeared to be a purebred. She was my first rescue pet and I admit to falling in love with her the moment she snorted at my sister. Oreo was named at the shelter. Back when I adopted her she had on ear that made it look as if she was part lop eared rabbit as it was bent down, but we found out later she simply had an ear infection. She hated the ear drops, but I think she knew they were helping her as it wasn't long before she had two standing ears.

Oreo was like Friendly and had some unique traits. Oreo proved to be even better with my anxiety then my first rabbit had been as she had this calming presence about her. I fell asleep more than once with her around. We actually started a routine that involved napping together in the afternoon which included my old Toy Poodle and my Chihuahua once Taco became part of my life.

Oreo also enjoyed car rides. She loved going anywhere she could with me. I ended up taking her some places no rabbit had gone before such as, to my Grandmother's house, a car ride to drop a friend's mom off at work, to the barn to be photographed by my equestrian team for our yearly calendar, and she went with me when we had my senior portrait taken. She was one adventurous rabbit. This rabbit would jump into the car herself and was almost dog-like in her enthusiasm and curiosity about where we were going.

When we were outside together the one day, there was an incident that led her to hate squirrels. She was sitting under the big tree in our backyard, just relaxing when two squirrels ran down the tree and ran right over her. Ever since that day if she saw a squirrel she would chase it as far away as she could. Squirrels thought twice about coming down that tree whenever they saw her after that point.

Oreo, like Friendly was a bit short lived. I had let my sister's kids play with her, not knowing they were sick at the time. If I had known I never would have let them anywhere near my rabbit. Unfortunately, to make things worse we had recently had to put Oreo on an all hay diet for her to lose weight and I didn't catch on until it was too late that she was losing too much weight too fast. I always wonder if I could have saved her if I had caught on faster.

Avery & Oreo 2

Avery & the second Oreo were both bunnies I met at PetSmart's adoption days event. Avery was a Dutch mix and Oreo was a Dutch. I had really wanted a pair of bunnies and thought these could be my first pair. Unfortunately, though I followed all the directions for bonding male bunnies these two just couldn't get along and I couldn't choose between them for anything as they were both great rabbits so I ended up not keeping them.

Chibi & Kojikaki

Chibi and Kojikaki were adopted from a shelter in Pittsburgh. I did a lot of research after deciding I wanted to try out a different breed and chose Mini Rex rabbits. Originally, the shelter wasn't going to let me adopt as I live in a different state, but they were overrun with rabbits at the time and I wanted two of them so they decided to allow it.

Chibi, whose name means small, was named first. I wanted to name him after two of my favorite heroes; the dragon from the Dragon Drive manga and anime, and the wolf from the Okami Den video game. As Chibi's name was Japanese it only felt right to name Kojikaki this way as well. Kojikaki waited several weeks for her name as I wasn't sure what to call her. I eventually decided to name her in honor of my favorite book series, Warriors, so I named her as if I was the clan leader and she had earned her warrior name. I had decided to call her fawn which was kojika in Japanese, but nothing else sounded right until I tried heart which was ki. As ki also means spirit I thought it felt perfect as Kojikaki seemed to be a fairly gentle rabbit I decided her new name would be Kojikaki meaning Fawnheart. I later decided it meant Fawnspirit for reasons you will soon know.

Chibi and Kojikaki were a great pair. Chibi was always taking care of his sister as if he was her big brother rather than the same age. Kojikaki was a timid rabbit in the beginning, always relying on her brother for comfort. She often went so far as to demand it from him. She could be a little rough when she was asking him to groom her and she was known to take the hay from his mouth, deciding she had to have that piece when there was plenty of other pieces to choose from, but Chibi never complained. The only time I ever saw him be anything other than gentle with his sister was whenever he was around and she was being a bully to my Chihuahua who never actually did anything to her. He avoided rabbits as he was scared of them. I had hoped having two babies would help him with this, but this usually nervous rabbit enjoyed having something scared of her for a change and this proved to be a problem.

Kojikaki, after learning Taco was scared of her, took full advantage. If he was anywhere other than the couch, she chased him right back to it. She quickly proved to be the most challenging rabbit I ever had as she learned to scratch and bite when she didn't want to do something. Unfortunately, with Kojikaki she hated being touched and especially having her play time ended. I usually had to chase her all over the house and deal with her snorting all the way back to her cage every night. I would have loved to let them run loose all day and night but it wasn't possible. Kojikaki was a chewer and her brother was a constant pooper, I just couldn't leave them unsupervised for any length of time. Chibi did eventually sort of become litter box trained.

Chibi was an unusual rabbit when it came to bathroom habits. He knew to use the litter box, it just happens he would sit the wrong way in it and nothing actually made it into the box. I had to get a special litter box made for ferrets to solve this problem. Chibi was great after that though Kojikaki later gave me new challenges as after her brother died she decided she wanted the box in the middle of the cage and refused to use it in the corner. I don't know how she always unattached the box from the cage but every day I would find it in the middle of the cage. I eventually got a flatter box for her so she had maximum accessibility to everything once I gave in and allowed her to keep the box in the center of the cage.

Kojikaki also became more of a random groomer after Chibi died. We never really found out why, but he had a weak heart and when he got sick from an illness due to this he never fully recovered and unfortunately his wasn't something I could have done anything to prevent. I don't remember what the vet said he had exactly, but I do remember the feeling of being alone with Kojikaki for the first time. Anyway, after losing her brother Kojikaki wanted to groom anything she could get though she never became an over groomer of her own fur. The first sign was when she began grooming the Easter decorations. I had to take the wind up chick away from her because it was really dirty and I didn't want her to get sick. I never did find out if there was something that I could give her which would be safe not just for letting her groom, but if she chewed on it as well. Luckily, Merveille happened.

Merveille is my Toy Poodle. At first, Kojikaki thought she would scare away this new puppy just as she had Taco. Puppy Merveille just thought she was playing and Kojikaki didn't know what to do with him at first. After a while she began to develop a bit of a reluctant acceptance to this impossible puppy which turned into respect and eventually she started looking forward to when I let him visit her. She actually gave him her own version of a kiss after he came in to give her one and one day even asked him to groom her just as she used to ask her brother though Merveille didn't do this as he had no idea what she wanted him to do.

Unlike every other rabbit I ever had, Kojikaki was long lived. She was over 10 years old when she started showing signs of old age. She did mellow a bit when she got old, but she never fully lost her spirit. She developed an illness due to old age which went undiagnosed as she passed at the vets. Due to her age and the trouble she had breathing the vet wanted me to have her put down which I never had to do with a pet other than Taco before. Kojikaki was so much of a survivor and so independent that I didn't feel right choosing for her so I asked her what she wanted to do and that's when it happened. I don't know if it was just the timing or if she heard me, but whether good or bad she didn't make me have to choose the worst option. You would think with Kojikaki I would have been ready to let her go. She wasn't the best rabbit I ever had, she definitely wasn't the friendliest, but she was still mine and we had been together a long time so it was still hard for me to let her go.

Currently, I don't have a rabbit, but I am always keeping watch on the local shelters waiting for the day one feels right to me. Until then here are two honorable mention bunnies that I met.

The Brave One

This bunny was part of a wild litter I kept watch over after my Grandma accidentally dumped chemicals on them not knowing a wild rabbit decided to give birth in her carrot patch. I kept watch over them until their eyes were open and the first rabbit began exploring. After that I knew they were fine and never saw them again.

Rabbit for Adoption

This rabbit I met while I still had Kojikaki. He was available for adoption and I really wanted to, but I knew Kojikaki would never accept a new bunny at her age and remembered how hard it was to have two rabbits that didn't get along. I wish I could have adopted him, but I hope he found a great home.

That's all the rabbits I have known in my life and I can't wait to share my life with another in the future.

#bunnies #rabbit #rabbits #dutch rabbit #mini rex #my story #my rabbit #easter #remembering #animals #celebrating life #pets

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