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craftylittlenerd · 10 months

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Snippet Sunday

Tagged by @westernlarch for another snippet Sunday, or more like snippet Monday as I got to spend the day with the family yesterday 😁 Tagging @kalliesa @luciferbecons @partofmycharm @misseffect @serendipitys-teapot @hauntedjellyfishtraveler to participate if you are so inclined.

So I have a few projects in the works and I debated on weather I post a snippet from one of my fanfiction or from one of my original works. After some debate I figured I post a snippet from my oldest fic that I’ve been taking a break on as I’ve hit a bit of a road block with it.

Working Title: New Life “So, you’ve been staying here with the Commander?” Castis asks outright; he was never a man to beat around the bush.“ Until she wakes up, I don’t...we’re in this together... I...” Castis nods understandingly, “Towards the end of your mother's illness, I never left her side.” His voice grows soft as he remembers Laurus, how Corpalis Syndrome robbed her of being able to do the simplest of tasks. The subtle shake of her hands, the smallest stutter or slurring of words in her otherwise eloquent speech, the weakness she felt in her body. It was too late before either of them realized that these were all early symptoms and not just signs of old age. The disease took its time, taking Laurus away from him slowly over two and a half years, the preventive medication barely doing anything but prolonging the inevitable. Robbing them of their golden years together. Garrus remembered how his dad hovered over his mother every chance he got while he and Sol had to coax their dad into simple tasks like eating or sleeping. Now the tables were turned, and it was his father’s turn to do the same to his son. Castis could see the weariness on his son’s face, how his clothes fit loosely around his frame. “I cannot fault you for wanting to do the same, but I will fault you for the smell. When was the last time you showered? Garrus felt like he was thirteen all over again with that question and the look, spirits his father knew how to make him feel like a child. His father grined, knowing he’d gotten Garrus right where he wanted him. “Wash up; your sister will be a bit longer with the doctor. Then we can go grab a bite to eat.” Garrus looks around, unsure of what to do or even if he could use the shower in Shepard’s hospital room. He didn’t have a clean change of clothes either, not having returned to the Normandy in the last few days. Miranda and Dr. Chakwas were always able to shoo him away when Shepard was heading into another surgery. Even primarch Victus was able to persuade Garrus out of the Commander's hospital room while one of the other crew members visited. Usually, he returned to the Normandy to shower, if not quickly buff his plates before changing his clothes. Sometimes he was able to get some sleep; other times, Garrus had enough of an appetite to eat a small meal. When someone couldn’t visit, or no surgery was needed, Garrus stayed by Shepard’s side no matter how much the staff grumbled. He didn’t want her to wake up alone thinking she was resurrected again; it was her biggest fear. Something Shepard had confided in Garrus early on if not Cerberus, then the Alliance, or worse, some other fringe group would try it again. It made her uncomfortable in hospitals — even the med bay on her own ship made her skin crawl. Yet she pushed that down anytime any of her crew was injured, or doctors at Huerta needed supplies they wouldn’t otherwise be able to get in Reaper-controlled territory. It's why Garrus never left because he knew Shepard would never leave any of them. Even when Ashley was in the hospital and the two women were at odds, Shepard still looked out for her friend. “I can’t; there’s no one...I don’t have...” Garrus stammers as his father tossed him a small travel tote. “I made a call, was able to pull a favor and get you an overnight bag, and your pilot friend Joker said he’d be by momentarily.” One of these days, Garrus told himself he’d stop being surprised by his father. Today wasn’t one of those days, and tomorrow wasn’t looking any better. Garrus looked at the bag he had just caught mid-air like it was some puzzle to be solved. Upon opening it, he found a change of clothing, some toiletries, a sanding stone and buffing brush, and a few other needed items. “I’ll watch over her until you’re done washing up. She won’t be alone, son I promise.” Garrus nodded and went into the small bathroom with a mundane shower hoping to get enough hot water to drown the ache in his muscles. Once Castis heard the bathroom door latch, he pulled a necklace out of his pocket. The slim golden chain of turian design had a simple locket holding an image of his beloved. “Laurus, what do I do? You were always better at these things than me.” Sighing, Castis sat in the all too familiar uncomfortable hospital chair, watching over the woman who captured his son’s intrigue. Castis wasn’t ready to call it love yet. He’d only heard Garrus’s side of things. Made the connections during those long conversations when Garrus first arrived back home. He even approved of the human commander; she was more turian than the two of them combined. Castis knew the feelings were mutual, Victus had told him as much when they talked that morning. There were rumors of a taboo hand-holding incident with a high-ranking Reaper Advisor and the famous Commander on Menae. Though here she was frail and in a hospital bed — Commander Jane Shepard of the Normandy, first human Spectre, hero of the Citadel, conqueror of the Collectors, Savior of the Galaxy. Her image on the extranet and vids didn’t do Shepard justice, painting her as a larger-than-life figure for humanity to live up to. Something Castis was sure even she couldn’t live up to. Maybe it would have been better if she had died in battle — to die for the cause, be the legend she had been built up to be. An honor for any family. What more could the Alliance ask for? Yet what kind of world would she be waking up to? What impossible pedestal would she be put upon? All of that didn’t matter to Castis, what mattered was his son, as selfish as that was — but he knew Garrus. No matter where Shepard went, he knew Garrus would follow. “I’m not good at these things. Garrus's mother was the delegate and worked in the diplomatic corps back on Palaven. She turned down a council position after the kids were born, wanted to give them some form of stability. Something Citadel life doesn’t always allow. I know my work didn’t allow that even after joining C-Sec. Duty always came first. It’s the turian way, but Laurus could always find the balance.”

Castis sighed again as he looked down at the locket in his hand. “You two would have gotten along. From what I’ve been told, you're a strong, confident woman, eloquently spoken, and have a wicked sense of humor — all things my Laurus was.”A hitch in Casti's voice. “If not for you, I have a feeling I would have buried a child and my wife. It’s a debt I can never repay, yet I owe you my thanks, Commander. You brought my son back to our family. He was able to say goodbye to his mother, but if you could just do one more impossible thing and wake up.” Castis leaned over Shepard’s bed and placed the locket next to her head, pinning it to the pillow so it wouldn’t get lost.“Laurus, watch over our son’s mate. Help the commander find her way back to the world of the living. I’ll watch over our boy — make sure he keeps both feet on the ground.” Garrus had exited the bathroom, washed and dressed in the items his father had brought him. The clothing hung looser than Castis liked, his brave child wasting to nothing. Still, he didn’t blame Garrus; he knew too well what it was like to wait in this hell. How it aged your soul and left you a shell of who you once were.

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thetrashbagswasteland · 18 days

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Friday Kiss Tag

I was tagged by @omniblades-and-stars tyyyy - passing the buck on to @teamdilf @sparatus @outpost51

Rules: Post smooch from your writing for Friday. It can be as light as a peck or as intense as a makeout. It can be romantic or platonic or familial. As long as a smooch takes place it's free reign!

Right so this (long) snippet is from Follow My Lead why yes I have been working on this chapter for bang on a year at this point lmao it's fine it's totally fine

A hand clamped over his mouth, stopping him, even as the eyes boring into his softened - softened but didn’t quite lose the half-starved, feral look they’d always held. “You just don’t understand. S’not your fault you don’t, either, not something you’ve ever had to experience.” The hand loosened but didn’t get removed as he shifted- straddling his lap to peer down at him. “You, Rems, those kids you raised? You two had it good and you made damned sure your kids did too- as you should. Shit, Mace too; I met his family, he was so loved an’ his parents did their best to work out how to love me too, just because their son picked me. S’not a crime to grow up happy and bring up well-loved kids, even if it’s not one we all get to experience; I don’t need you to understand why the kid needed me, just accept that she did.” The children though- “They hate me now.” Castis admitted as the hand slipped from holding his mouth shut to cup his jaw instead, calloused thumb sliding under one mandible. He didn’t need sympathy- didn’t want it either but… “I ruined their lives, Avitus, and they’ll never forgive me for what I put them through.” How could they? Parents weren’t meant to do what he’d done to them after all. Rather than ask outright, his oldest friend tilted his head to one side questioningly, subvocals rumbling disbelief that he even could do such a thing. “The war was a dark time- I was a mess from losing Dorema already and then Palaven burned and…” Spirits, he couldn’t say it. The dark eyes that met his, steady as could be, were surprisingly not filled with judgement, for all that he’d once sworn to protect the very people they were discussing him hurting- from Castis himself if so needed. “Things got dark and you lost sight of the way out, huh?” He couldn’t keep his gaze. Closing his eyes was far easier, as much as it was an admission of guilt. Avitus snorted softly. “D’you know the first thing I told Sara when she said there was a Vakarian onboard New Horizons? I said it’d never be you because if shit had gone down like she said, you’d have eaten a bullet before going through anything more.” A fair analysis, he suspected. How close had they come to that being a reality? Too close, too close for sure. “It would have done so, if not for Sol.” The words slipped out before he could stop them, an admission of how easily he’d have slipped - and with the banks burst, he couldn’t- “We thought Garrus was as good as dead eventually, then I was responsible for the death of a child and I just- Avitus, it got bad enough that she slept beside me for years, just to ensure I didn’t-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence. It caught in his throat, or maybe just was pulled out of being by the mouth-plates that’d found his, drawn from existence by the tongue that slipped into his mouth as easily as if it belonged there. And wasn’t it hard, in truth, to dwell on what had been? His fingers found familiar holds at his hips, just as another’s decidedly not blunted talons prickled at the rim of his cowl- holding him as if he wasn’t contained enough simply by the other’s steady weight on top of him, simply by the heat of his tongue, simply by the familiar scent of him, grounding him to a reality where, in the end, he hadn’t lost everything. Just… most things beyond that which was tangib- -a sharp whistle shot through them, causing him to jerk upright and their foreheads cracked together, blinding him with disorientating pain. Ouch.

#ask meme #my fic

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destielomegaversebigbang · 8 months

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When The Bough Breaks

Posting 1st October 2023

Fic by NiksFics Art by Demonicsoulmates

Rating: Explicit

Summary: An abandoned baby. A missing Omega. A race against time.

Detective Castiel Novak loves working for the Lawrence Police Department’s Special Victims Unit, fighting for justice for those who can’t fight for themselves. When an abandoned baby turns up, he figures it will be an open and shut case - find her parents or place her with Social Services.

What he doesn’t expect is a DNA match to reopen a cold case - the case of a missing, and presumed dead, Omega. A rare male Omega at that.

Time is ticking as Castiel races to find answers. Where did baby Emma come from? Why does he feel a connection to her? And just where is Dean Winchester?

Tags: Rape/Non-con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, M/M, F/M, Dean Winchester/Castie,l Dean Winchester/Lydia (non-con), Dean Winchester/Alastair (non-con), Mentions of past Dean/Benny, Mentions of past Dean/Lisa, Mentions of past Dean/Cassie, John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore, Alpha Castiel, Omega Dean Winchester, Emma Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, MPREG, Depictions of birth, Kidnapped Dean Winchester, Police Officer Castiel, Anal Sex, Anal fingering, Rimming, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Knotting, True Mates, Graphic depiction of the rape and murder of an infant - but it doesn’t happen, it’s just used as psychological torture

Excerpt: Below the readmore

The first time he woke it was barely a blip in his sleep. Just long enough for him to realize he was awake and to try and grasp at the threads of consciousness. He breathed in scents he recognized and scents he didn’t. Scents of family and home and mate. There was something else…something familiar. He whined softly, struggling to open his eyes.

“Shhh Dean, just rest.”

The voice was low, quiet. Familiar and new all at once. Dean let the threads slip through his hands.

The second time he woke he heard multiple voices, whispering. The scents seemed stronger, as though they’d been lingering in the air for hours. Family. Mom. Dad. Sammy. Mate. “Alpha…”

He wasn’t sure if he’d even managed to speak, but then a warm, calloused hand closed over his. “I’m here, son.”

No, that’s not right, he thought, his brain foggy. “Alpha,” he whined. “Cas…”

The other voices quieted and a distant part of his brain registered a gasp before his father’s hand left his and a new one took its place. Warm. Strong. Soothing.

“I’m here, Dean.”

Dean managed to force his head to turn towards the voice and his eyes to open long enough to see bright blue ones looking back. He smiled and then, with a sigh, dropped off again.

The third time he woke, it was quiet, just the steady beeping of machines and the distant clip clopping of feet moving down the hallway past the door. It was easier to open his eyes this time, and when he did he found the lights dimmed, a soft glow just visible in the corner of his eye. He turned his head towards the light, seeing a man reading from a tablet.

No, his brain caught up. Not a man. Alpha.

His Alpha.

#fic promo #destiel omegaverse big bang 2023 #destiel #omegaverse

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that-wildwolf · 5 months

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Plz talk to me about momma Vakarian

I'm insanely feral about this woman and her relationship with her stupid idiot kids you don't even know oh my god. I don't even know her name and I love her so much. God. I don't actually give a fuck about her relationship with Castis, I know some people are very into that but I'm fucking crazy about her and her children because her children are fucked up and insane in the head <3

What did she even die of in the end? Some kind of space cancer wasn't it? I know it was long and it was longtime coming and YEAH and her kids. Fuck. Like. Garrus doesn't even SAY anything to Shepard (and I assume to anyone because let's face it if he didn't tell Shepard he's not telling anyone else) when she dies. How insane is that. They were very close. I'm. Fuckkk look I just

I just. I can't

I like to headcanon she was a doctor or scientist or technician and worked in the medical field in some way. I like the technician take the most because if she brought it home she could infect her kids with her love for tinkering 🙏 And I also hc that Solana is a doctor so that also ties nicely together too. I just think she was a wonderful positive influence in their lives. At least at an early stage.

Castis probably took care of the first baby while she stayed at work but once the second kid came she took parental leave to take care of him. (They played parental divide and conquer lol) Baby turians probably imprint on parent figures during infancy and no wonder then that Garrus wasn't as close with their dad as Solana; it was their mom that took care of him when he was a baby, after all.

You know what she fucking loved her son and space cancer came around and he didn't visit until it was late. Not too late, not too late for them, but they had so little time. You think he ever forgave himself for that? Like obviously he donated insane sums of money and what was it, collector samples? to the hospital and he did all he could from so far away and it's not his fault really but like. It was such a messed up situation and she was dying and he didn't even visit. Not until they only had so little time left. She kept him as close as she could in those last days. They talked a lot, they caught up, they said their goodbyes. She knew he blamed himself for leaving. She comforted him as well as she could but they didn't have the time. They didn't have the time to heal or to process it really

I'm sad. She loved her kids and it was all just so unfair how everything turned out. At least she didn't have to see the Reapers destroy everything a few months later. But I miss this woman who doesn't even have a name or canon appearance (the only time she's in the comics she's all bandaged up iirc) and I just feel a lot of things about her

#wild answers things #mass effect #i am not normal about the vakarian family #wild rambles #and oh is this rambling

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outpost51 · 5 months

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decemTBR roundup #1 -- weeks 1 + 2

there's probably gonna be more than one of these for week 2 but that's not important anyway LEGGO

in order of READING, not of rank (bc that's super rude yo)

Project Sunseeker (Improved Version) || @thetrashbagswasteland || ao3 || on-going, current wc: 47,531

i'm actually feral for this universe that cast has built, and these initial chapters are all first contact linguisitic shenanigans and shep just being lost in general and i love it a lot okay? this fic permanently altered the thumbs up gesture for me in the best way

The Weight of Memory || @sparatus/@lieutenantabrudas || ao3 || on-going, current wc: 32,220

hi do you wanna get hopelessly attached to minor characters that get no screentime in their actual media and that the fandom as a whole generally forgets about? do you wanna have so many feelings about the horrors of war and the lasting impact it has on everyone, written by someone who was raised by generations of veterans and has a special interest in the historical impact of warfare? what the fuck are you waiting for go read it

To Catch a Rabbit || @sparatus/@lieutenantabrudas || ao3 || complete, 82,814 words

just a good fun murder mystery with a healthy dose of mutual pining that does, eventually, resolve itself in a heated moment that left me screaming like that one excited baby in that one gif

something to remember us by || @elizashepard || ao3 || oneshot, 1,067 words

obviously i'm going feral for anything that does nyreen/aria justice, and this is now on my list of fics to reread when i need a good cry

i read a BUNCH of oneshots by @thetrashbagswasteland actually, most of them in one day. how

Toothpaste || ao3 || 877 words

this is just a cute little vetryder moment, I love them your honor

Putting Up With Us || ao3 || 1,241 words

Honestly if you want good rarepair shit cast literally created the tag for these bastards and this is some delicious fluff

The Storm Between Us || ao3 || 2,663 words

rems is like. my tragedy comfort character she's one of my moms now ok thx

Crunchy Pebbles || ao3 || 2,859 words

you know what's great? barrix + vetryder beach episodes THAT KICK YOU IN THE TEETH

Worth Melting For || ao3 || 2,809 words

more rarepair fluff but this time it smarts a little

Dilatory || ao3 || 4,370 words

THIS SMARTS A LOT MORE

Gone Wherever You May Be || ao3 || 1,279 words

"i hope this kryterius angst hurts uwu teehee" YEAH IT HURTS YOU SON OF A BITCH

Hurry Hurry - or there'll be time to waste || ao3 || 3,331 words

god avi’s self esteem always kicks me straight in the kokoro but this one is bittersweet rarepair domesticity 🥺

A Fraction Of Your Happy Heart || ao3 || 1,246 words

i am a PUDDLE i love them SO MUCH and i need MORE BARRIX FLUFF FOREVER

Ryncol Tastes Like Ass || ao3 || 4,833 words

this is honest to god the slapstick levity i needed after the ANGST MARATHON

Tales in the Last Days || ao3 || 11,404 words

both heartwarming and heartbreaking, if you like found family finding their way through hardship, you'll have a good time

Chomp the Champion Varren || ao3 || 1,595 words

CHOMP IS BEST BOY

Strike Two || ao3 || 6,068 words

this is just "how alec ryder and castis vakarian became buddies shortly after shanxi" and every bit of it is good and wonderful

#decemTBR #fic rec

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callista-curations · 1 year

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I posted 7,366 times in 2022

That's 5,966 more posts than 2021!

55 posts created (1%)

7,311 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thearchdemongreatlydisapproves

@hanarinhightown

@perpetualvelocity

@katarrinskey

@that-wildwolf

I tagged 3,524 of my posts in 2022

#garrus vakarian - 1,958 posts

#shakarian - 1,160 posts

#saren arterius - 343 posts

#writing inspo - 156 posts

#nihlus kryik - 151 posts

#traditional art - 125 posts

#tali'zorah - 116 posts

#vetra nyx - 115 posts

#thane krios - 97 posts

#urdnot wrex - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

My Top Posts in 2022:

16 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

His dick game is mindblowing but he's never in the mood

22 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

Garrus is so cute I wanna ruin him (affectionate)

27 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

New Year's fic recs (2021-2022)

It’s about time I put the curations part of my tumblr to work on the fanfics side of things, so here goes: A selection of my favourite fics (with turians) I read in the last half year or so.

Yes I am fashionably late, I was going to post this before new year...

The Primarch's Advisor by hardinginhightown

M, oneshot (9k words), Adrien Victus/Castis Vakarian

A rarepair you didn't know you needed in your life (why have one turian dilf in a fic if you can have two). Hard hitting and packed full of emotion, but also exploring a lot of backstory between them and their sons.

NoisyNoiverns' Kryterius collection

G, 13 oneshots and shortfics, Kryterius

A set of 13 Kryterius fics, mostly set in a no-reaper AU, spanning their long lives. Everything from light hearted joking about to the sweetest of fluff. I would particularly highlight “When the Lights Go Down”, also highly recommend checking out their Desolas/Abrudas pieces.

Observations upon waking by interventionsandlullabies

M, oneshot (4k words), Shakarian

Aptly tagged: “Read for free therapy.” A collection of snapshots told through Garrus’ eyes, from the soft to the sharp realities of the war. Fantastically written, intimate and personal.

Loyalty Mission: The Coldest of Hearts by Orionis

T, shortfic (38k words), Shakarian

Set in ME1, early on when they are first working together, this one won’t punch you in the gut with a few truckloads of emotion, though it is a very interesting study of Garrus’ character and Shepards struggles with him (and the rest of her crew).

Same Song, Different Verse by suddenlycomics

T, WIP (12k words), Femsep Garrus and Tali

An exciting AU where Shepard never joins the Alliance, Garrus is a Spectre, and they meet Tali on Earth.

The Softer It Falls by BronzeAgeLove

T, shortfic (10k words), Lorik Qui'in/Lilihierax

Complete with lovely illustrations by heavenlyeros. Gentle, slow, and introspective. Really wonderfully written all around, a gem of an introduction to a(nother) rarepair you didn't know you needed in your life.

Points of Contact by buskie

E, WIP longfic (32k words), Shakarian

A first contact AU fic where Shepard and a certain lost Turian fall in love, comes with plenty of seriousness, silliness, shenanigans, and some smut to top it off.

I'll See You Again by courtmartialed

M, WIP shortfic (5k words), Shakarian

Another First Contact story, this time in a Reincarnation AU. “The captain and lone survivor of that crew is Shepard, though her name is not Shepard yet. And the lone Turian, piloting the ramshackle dinghy that finds her ship, is Garrus.”

On Galaxy's Edge by DatSonyat

T, oneshot (1.5k words), Saren and Desolas

This piece still floors me every time, Saren being this soft just stops my heart mid beat, honestly it's something I've lately felt more and more need to indulge myself in. It's so slow but hits like a fully loaded train, all the emotion is expertly hidden just under the surface. Probably one of the best pieces of writing I've had the pleasure of reading, period.

See the full post

71 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sports Mass Effect needs:

Krogan rugby

Biotic ice hockey (@whiskynorocks 's idea)

Biotic figure skating (listen, Saren would lowkey be good at this that's all I'm gonna say)

Biotic dance and acrobatics

Biotic rock climbing/mountaineering

Zero G ping pong

154 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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shallowseeker · 2 years

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Cas's problem was there from the beginning and it wasn't so much too much heart as it was Chuck punishing him for having one

Hi my name is EL but you can call me CHUCK and this here is my child CASTI-EL ...

I've uh never met him. I was kinda absent and I didn't care about him beyond what he could do for me. BUT NEVER MIND THAT.

Part 1 - In the beginning, I made my weapon

He never was a kid … he's more of this really cool weapon I made. I sharpened him and forged him in fire and look … he's completely deadened to pain and emotion in every way ...

I made sure they trained him that way because they're for war, right?

I made these things called Riet Zen (bad. ass. you know what I mean?) and they react to ANY KIND OF PAIN, and so all my little soldiers learned real quick to SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN

... and not question orders ... or you know. I kill them. No big.

AND NOW THEY'RE PERFECT ROBOTS. Like the very best ones have total control, like total FLAT AFFECT and I'm proud of that

Part 2 - Stupid small rebellions

Ok, so then my kids kept feeling things and I had to take drastic actions like killing them and stuff. But the way Castiel stepped into my story like.

DUDE. He was FEELING despite all my hard work, right?

ok ok ok so

This surprised the Hell outta me and I had to watch for a while because it was fun.

Part 3 - Crimes and punishments

So I said to my son CASTIEL:

I'm gonna make these plots that punish you EVERY TIME YOU WANT TO REACH OUT AND SHOW EMOTION you are gonna suffer for it

You love the Winchesters and want their support? Well joke's on you because you you reached out to them too LATE and now they don't trust you and oh my ME you are torturing people like that nice sweet purgatory lady

I really liked watching you die and get amnesia and FEEL SO BAD THAT YOU TOOK ON SAM'S BURDEN

And so like now you're out of purgatory... but I made it so you're MIND CONTROLLED, and even though your human family is showing you legitimate CARE and REACHING OUT TO YOU ABOUT YOUR SUICIDAL EMOTIONS right now, I am going to whisk you away to braincamp and make them mistrust you again

And you're so desperate to fix things in Heaven. Well this time I'm just gonna put Metatron there and let it work itself out …

You lost your grace! Hope you feel powerless and EMOTIONAL this time!

Aw fuck they're actually caring about human you? HUMAN YOU ISN'T SEXY WHY DO THEY--

Why did they come get you? I planned you to die tragically here. And you're opening up to them about your emotions and being vulnerable to THEM? HAHAHAHA IMMA BREAK YOU APART RIGHT NOW FOR THAT NOW GUESS WHAT GADREEL WON'T LET YOU STAY

See? Don't you get it? every time you open yourself up to them Castiel I AM GOING TO PUNISH YOU FOR IT.

NARRATIVELY.

You make it really easy with how you try to take it all on yourself, and no joke. MY MACHINATIONS make it even more likely you're gonna be tragically, detrimentally self reliant, you get me?

But it’s BEAUTIFUL, like narratively beautiful

SO here's the thing, you keep getting SO CLOSE TO BEING HAPPY RIGHT NOW. It's legit scaring me how they're falling for you. So let's do this Empty plot where you'll be actively punished for allowing yourself to feel your emotions. Yeah, I like that.

And so when you try to take on Jack's burdens, Imma make sure Mary dies to punish you for having a family you're not supposed to have and love

And I'm gonna make your remaining family members kill your son lukz

AND WHY ARE YOU REPAIRING YOUR FAMILY AGAIN CASTIEL

You are not supposed to recover. Fuck you guys. It’s only been a few months and you’re rekindling?

Fuck you, I'm manipulate death so you CHOOSE to go to The Empty

Well. it's your own fault for FEELING things and expressing them TO ppl, isn't it?

#chuck meta #punished for emotions from the START OF HIS LIFE #He's not like that because of The WInchesters per se #He's like that because he's dismissive avoidant due to chuck's and michael's upbringing style #AND THEN Chuck makes sure every time they start to open up #something blocks then and Cas is punished for his emotions

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bluerose5 · 2 years

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Realizations

[A short companion piece to First Impressions and An Eye for an Eye because I love Garrus & Castis interacting.]

"I just can't believe it."

Castis narrowed his eyes at Garrus, staring at him skeptically.

Garrus glared right back at him, feigning indifference.

"Well, believe it," Garrus muttered, tapping his talons against the table, too nervous for his own good. "I'm with them now, regardless of what you think about it."

Castis flicked his mandibles out into a brief, albeit smug, grin.

"Well, please," Castis hummed, leaning back in his seat, "do tell. What is it that I'm thinking, o great mind reader?"

Scrunching his nose up in disdain, Garrus huffed.

"You think it's crazy, don't you?"

"Do you think it's crazy?" Castis countered.

"Hardly."

"And are you happy?" Castis asked, catching Garrus off-guard.

"I, uh—" Garrus cleared his throat, his eyes averted. "Yes, I am. Very much so."

Despite his antics, his tone was certain, resolute.

Castis cocked his head to the side.

"Then, I'm fine with it. Although, I didn't expect you to be interested in one alien, let alone two, but wonders never cease, I guess." Castis picked up his menu, scanning the restaurant's vast selection. "Now, should I get the fish or the steak?"

Garrus watched him blankly.

"What?" he squawked, at a loss.

Castis glanced up, echoing him in confusion. "What?"

"That's it?" Garrus questioned. "That's all that you have to say?"

"Do you think I should get something else?" He started scouring the menu once more.

"No!" Garrus snapped, reaching out to take his beer in hand. "I meant, are you not going to say anything else about me being with Thane and Shepard?"

"Should I?" Castis asked, genuinely curious. "I know that it's not the most common relationship structure among turians, but I've met them both. While I might not agree with everything they say and do, they keep you safe and happy, and that's enough for me." He shrugged, then pretended to sniffle and wipe a tear away. He placed his hand over his heart, as dramatic as his son. "I always knew you'd take after your old man for something."

Spirits, Garrus needed a drink.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he snorted, lifting his glass.

Castis' eyes twinkled mischievously.

The bastard waited until Garrus took a long swig to say, "Well, why do you think your mother and I were so close with Ellen and Alec?"

As realization dawned, Garrus' eyes bulged. He sucked in a deep breath.

Of course, instead of a mouthful of air, Garrus inhaled his beer, instantly sending it down the wrong pipe.

Garrus choked. Slamming his beer down onto the table, he was sent into a coughing fit, beating a fist against his chest as he struggled for breath.

"You and the–the Ryders..." Garrus gasped.

"You know," Castis sighed, "for a detective, you can be really clueless at times."

It was just Garrus’ luck that their waitress would show up in the middle of his crisis, slowly inching her way into view while casting worried glances at Garrus.

"So!" She said, attempting to keep her voice chipper. "What can I get for you?"

"I think that I'll have the steak," Castis said with a bright grin, ignoring his son as he buried his face into his hands with a defeated groan.

#mass effect #mass effect andromeda #mass effect trilogy #castis vakarian #garrus vakarian #shakarios #polyamorous aliens #something short and sweet #bluerose writes #garrus can only take so much #finding out your parents and their so-called family friends are more than friends...

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craftylittlenerd · 1 year

Text

N7 Month Day 8: Marauder

Sadly yesterday I did not get my N7 Month Challenge done, but I was able to read all the awesome fics posted for this challenge and partake in N7 Day activities. Though I'm also sure my professor was very happy with the essay I sent him, I know I was happy to get that off my plate too.

Turned Against Us

Earth has been attacked, and the Reapers are closing in on Palavan. My take on what happened from Castis Point of View.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42952797

"Garrus, listen to me. You have to get to Menea; our people will need you there," Castis yelled into his Omni-Tool as he ran from his office in the Hierarchy tower that he and his son shared." I'm heading to your sister's location." Twenty minutes after the news about the attack on Earth had been reported, outside communication was lost. Castis knew that what his son and his Commander had said was true; he always did. The Reapers were here.

"Son, I know, and you should be worried." Castis was getting every other word of the conversation, but he understood enough. Garrus feared Shepard dead. The images were horrific, and those things were in the streets, attacking people. They weren't even human; they were monsters. "She prepared for this; you prepared us for this. It's not your fault the council wouldn't listen."

The streets were packed with people running and screaming; Castis ducked into an ally, grabbing a mother and small child to avoid the falling debris from a nearby building. The military and special forces are moving toward danger. "Do you know where the nearest shelter is, ma'am?" The woman nodded as her child cried, terrified at what they saw.

"Sir, please, you must come with us. It's not safe out here." The woman begged Castis and implored him to head to safety with her and her child. 'Turians are attacking their own, yet they're not turian, at least not anymore; they've become twisted somehow."

Castis nodded, hoping Garrus had heard the woman. Their call was miraculously still connected. "Sir, please, we need to move; they'll find us if we stay here any longer." Castis nodded his head and handed the woman his sidearm. "Remember your training. You are still turian. Get you and your child to safety." Castis took off from the ally and rounded the coroner; he couldn't be ten blocks from the family home, but by how things looked, this wasn't Palavan, nor was it a war zone. This was an annihilation. Then he saw them, the creatures the woman had warned him about. Turians twisted and metallic, anything resembling a friend or loved one erased from the creature's existence. Just a shell of what was forced to fight on the enemy's side.

"Dad…Dad…” Castis could barely hear Garrus shouting. The static was nearly impossible to get through, but Garrus tried. "Can you…airbase… We're about…for Menea…Sol…not answering." His Omni-Tool flickered as the call between father and son started to drop. "Garrus, if you can still hear me, I thank the spirits your mother is not here to see the end of us. Yet I pray to her spirit that your Commander is alive." The call nearly blinked out. Castis had moments to spare. "And son, don't trust these marauders. They're not us…not anymore. Kill them on sight. That includes your sister and me if we get captured and turned by these things. Promise me."

The call dropped, and all Castis could do was fight his way back to his home and find his daughter.

#Garrus Vakarian #castis vakarian #mass effect garrus #garrus #mass effect trilogy #mass effect fanfic #mass effect fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #n7 month #n7 month 2022 #mass effect fandom forever

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thetrashbagswasteland · 1 year

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Can you do Castis/Avitus for the ship meme?

Absolutely!

Ship It

What made you ship it? Early on in writing The Idealist it just sort of... jumped me in a dark alley and demanded to exist. It also made sense for the worldbuilding I was doing (with marking shape relating to the unit served in for their basic and/first part of mandatory service). That allowed me to put them in the same place at the same time at some point in their lives and, frankly, I know Andromeda was just lazily reusing assets but considering the homeworlds comics don't even put markings consistently on characters, it's just as valid.

What are your favorite things about the ship? The hypocrisy! That's what struck me at first. What's better than having Castis be anti-spectre because of c-sec? Making him be anti-spectre because he knew someone who became one? How about even making him the hypocrite who had a relationship with one whilst simultaneously insisting that they were irredeemably bad people and not to be taken as role models. It's not a happy ship, having room to be stuffed with a whole heap of trauma and unpleasant behaviour from both of them (including dumping both of them into the FCW for added spice) but if anything it only adds more weight to why Castis didn't want Garrus to become a spectre; if he's seen how that career path comes about and how it wears on people, it's only natural that he'd do anything to stop his son following that dream and reacts poorly to him being a shitty cop. This is gonna be long because (surprise surprise) I love so much about the ship that I don't have any one favourite thing but I'm also utterly rabid for the 'won't say-can't say' of admitting that they actually care about one another. A lot goes unspoken and in a yes-reapers timeline that ends pretty tragically but in a no-reapers AU there's so much room to explore and have fun with the idea of how they work around being unwilling/incapable of voicing their feelings.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I suspect its existence is unpopular enough lmao. I've had periodic random anons and commenters hating on it for a host of reasons from it being "gross" to "toxic" to even that Castis having a wife and kids means he's automatically straight (which uh, that's a take).

#ask meme #AviTis #I can talk about this fucking ship for hours and hours #come onboard the AviTis raft we have SO MUCH potential for angst and character development #no joke I even have a timeline written out #which slots it in without invalidating any canon ships

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destielomegaversebigbang · 9 months

Text

When The Bough Breaks

Posting 15th September 2023

Fic by NiksFics Art by Rapscallion

Rating: Explicit

Summary: An abandoned baby. A missing Omega. A race against time.

Detective Castiel Novak loves working for the Lawrence Police Department's Special Victims Unit, fighting for justice for those who can't fight for themselves. When an abandoned baby turns up, he figures it will be an open and shut case - find her parents or place her with Social Services.

What he doesn't expect is a DNA match to reopen a cold case - the case of a missing, and presumed dead, Omega. A rare male Omega at that.

Time is ticking as Castiel races to find answers. Where did baby Emma come from? Why does he feel a connection to her? And just where is Dean Winchester?

Excerpt: Below the readmore

“Shhh Dean, just rest.”

The voice was low, quiet. Familiar and new all at once. Dean let the threads slip through his hands.

The second time he woke he heard multiple voices, whispering. The scents seemed stronger, as though they’d been lingering in the air for hours. Family. Mom. Dad. Sammy. Mate. “Alpha…”

He wasn’t sure if he’d even managed to speak, but then a warm, calloused hand closed over his. “I’m here, son.”

No, that’s not right, he thought, his brain foggy. “Alpha,” he whined. “Cas…”

The other voices quieted and a distant part of his brain registered a gasp before his father’s hand left his and a new one took its place. Warm. Strong. Soothing.

“I’m here, Dean.”

Dean managed to force his head to turn towards the voice and his eyes to open long enough to see bright blue ones looking back. He smiled and then, with a sigh, dropped off again.

No, his brain caught up. Not a man. Alpha.

His Alpha.

#destiel omegaverse big bang 2023 #fic promo #destiel #omegaverse

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teamdilf · 10 months

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May I ask for 7, 12 and 26 for Barrix and/or 4, 25 and 26 for Castis and Ceci for the couples character development questions please?

7. Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?

Avitus never would have pursued Macen - he enjoyed the flirtation during the mission where they met, but had Macen not actually asked him out, nothing ever would have come of it. For Macen, he did a quick search and found a photo of Avitus, realized he was attractive, and was at a point where he was feeling pretty lonely and decided it was worth inching back into the dating world. Macen has a pretty good read on Avitus from the beginning, and recognizes his tendency to self-sabotage (arriving late on their first date, wearing clothes that don't fit so he looks messy and not put together, etc), so accommodates for that.

12. How much independence do they prefer in a relationship—do they want to share their lives as much as possible with their partner, or do they prefer to mostly do their own thing and let their partner do their own thing?

They want to share their lives as much as possible! Avitus doesn't quite know how to ask for that early on - it's what he wants but he isn't even able to admit it to himself, because he's so used to being alone and afraid of losing more people he loves, in addition to his self-loathing, but Macen can see this and works through it as best he can with him.

26. They have an argument with their partner—what is it about? Do things stay respectful, or is there some shouting and accusing going on?

Macen isn't the sort to lose his temper or raise his voice, so on his end it's more a charged conversation. Avitus does lose his temper and has yelled, but Macen knows when to step away from an argument to give them both a chance to cool down, so they can come at it with a fresh mindset.

And for Castis and Cecilia!

25. They accidentally hurt or upset their partner. What happened? How do they respond? What do they do to make their partner feel better?

For Castis, it would either be related to his challenging relationship with Garrus (so a heated argument between them, for example), or something coming up that would prevent him from being able to message Cecilia before bed, causing her to worry that something happened to him.

With the former, Castis can be stubborn and resistant to Cecilia's urging that he "meet Garrus where he's at" and not assume their 12-year-old son will become a lawless criminal because he happens to find Spectres fascinating (and is a fan of "those damned Blasto vids").

With the latter, Castis feels terrible and messages her as soon as he's able, with a profuse apology. While he can be obtuse in some ways, he's very aware of her anxiety disorder and the impact it has on her life, and works hard to structure their life together to accommodate her needs. Life sometimes happens - they both know that, but he tries so hard not to cause her more anxiety.

26. They have an argument with their partner—what is it about? Do things stay respectful, or is there some shouting and accusing going on?

Almost all of the time they fight fair - the two of them love a good debate, so when they wind up arguing, they keep it to the conflict at hand and do not bring up past issues between them.

Sometimes there is yelling when things get particularly emotionally charged, though.

#Ask Games #castis vakarian #avitus rix #avitus x macen #Macen Barro #Barrix #Cecilia Vakarian #Thank you!

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thearchdemongreatlydisapproves · 2 years

Note

Tarquin Victus, Adrien Victus, Grizz, Lorik, Rolan GO

Jsdjjd can we at least get a coffee first?

Rolan my beloathed little mrrp mrrp

Send me a character and I will answer these prompts about them

First impression

Tarquin: my mind was swarming:

Imagine waking up one day in the middle of the worst galactic war and finding out you're now the son of the new Primarch because everyone else is dead or MIA. What was it like being the son of Adrien Victus, did he always feel like he's living in his dad's shadow? His dad Primarch has just promoted him out of the blue so he can lead a super top secret mission on which the turian-krogan alliance hinges and isn't that a lot to handle? Of course he fucked up and misjudged, he's obviously young and inexperienced and trying to live up to his dad, but isn't Adrien somewhat to blame for putting this responsibility on his shoulders-

Adrien: every time I close my eyes I see that ass shot of him in front of Palaven. Like congrats, you're the Primarch now and here's your planet burning!

But also at the time I was so elated to have Garrus back I could only acknowledge that Victs was a hot older turian 😩👌🏻 but not much beyond that. Back on the Normany tho 😳

Let's just say that I keep thinking thoughts

Grizz: "I would work for you anytime 😏"

Lorik: Oh no 😳

Impression now

Tarquin: first impression but turn it up by 11 + Baby boy, you deserved so much better than this!!! You deserved to come home and to redeem yourself without being turned into a martyr 😭😭😭

Adrien: [REDACTED]

Also, Bioware really gave us a sad turian dilf and expects me to be normal about this???

Grizz: I hope you're getting paid a decent wage

Lorik: I know he's a businessman but he's so polite and endearing!! He just keeps trying to use human expressions but he's also terrible at it!! I love him!!!

Favorite moment

Tarquin: Garrus says it, he never hesitated. Tarquin saw what needed to be done and he did it. We spend so much time with him on that bomb and I think that was a genius decision. It shows us how young he's like in his early 20s and just lost pretty much his whole squad because of his mistake, because he tried to be clever like his dad but didn't have the experience to back it up and- and scared he is in that moment but he's also so determined to finish the mission now.

I think that scrombled my brain a bit.

Adrien: that moment when he's told he's the Primarch now because Fedorian is dead and pretty much everyone in line before him is either also dead or MIA. The shock and horror because he never expected it to happen, there were so many people better suited for the job but they're all dead now and he's a soldier not a politician. But he accepts it with determination because his people need him to be the Primarch now even if it means abandoning his squad on Menae to be quite possibly slaughtered by the Reapers.

It's the ruthless calculus of war. 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Also the ass shot... I am looking (respectfully)👁👁

Grizz: kskdkd when you use a paragon option and he just "Alright fine u didn't hear it from me though"

Lorik: how fast he crumbles when you ask him to testify against Anoleis. Like yaas king, don't play hard to get 😩👌🏻

Idea for a story

Tarquin: he survives the Tuchanka mission. Just that. I want to see him live and get to see his dad again. Consequences be damned.

Adrien: what I said about Tarquin. I'm pretty sure he would rather have his son back that have a martyr.

Also @hanarinhightown's idea for Adrien and Castis being old friends who got back in touch because Adrien needed someone to show him some tough love and who better than that nerd Vakarian who kept bugging him about protocol back in when they were in basic who he also had a crush on.

So after the war they finally meet again and finally get to talk about everything and it culminates with Castis gives a handjob to the Primarch of Palaven

Grizz: Grizz's day off. I want to see how mundane life on Omega looks like for someone like him.

Lorik: I want the whole Noveria quest explored better and more in-depth with both his and Gianna's involvement as well as a proper dive into the class culture of Noveria (maybe even add Lilihierax into it 👀). I want the tension 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Favorite relationship

Tarquin: Victus

Adrien: Tarquin (and Garrus)

Grizz: hmmm maybe Aria? Or maybe he's buddies with Gavorn? 🤔

Lorik: either Gianna or Lilihierax

Unpopular opinion

Yeah idk

Favorite headcanon

Tarquin: he never wanted to be a soldier. I kind of believe he wanted to be an architect or something like that after his compulsory service except the Victus family is so synonymous with the military and war he didn't have a choice. And then the Reaper War started and he had even less of a choice.

Also he can cook good 🤌🏻

Adrien: used to be in the same unit as Castis back in basic and we're constantly bickering like an old married couple. At one point people just stopped recommending they settle their difference in the fighting ring and instead to do it in a more intimate environment.

Grizz: I like to think that he occasionally chats with Patriarch.

Lorik: he has a crush on both Gianna and Lilihierax and no, I am not projecting

#ask #character meme ask #tarquin victus #adrien victus #grizz #lorik qui'in #mass effect

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hanarinhightown · 2 years

Note

DILF squad (Victus, Castis, Sparatus)

DILF SQUAAAAAD

hoo boy here we go, thank you for the food anon

First impression

Victus: For legal reasons, I cannot answer this question.

Castis: ok so...........ngl i heard that castis was in andromeda and the first time i played andromeda it was just a race to the finish line to see castis. it was the only questline i did outside of the main quest (and i'm usually the person doing every little tiny thing). and then i was underwhelmed bc of course i was

Sparatus: oh no look at those green eyes

Impression now

V: Honestly? He's ruining my life. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. He's so sad. He makes me wanna cry.

C: he's perfect. he's emotionally stilted. determined. terrible fashion sense but he's committed to it. a caring father who's had a tragic time dealing with the prolonged illness of his wife and a problem child who keeps disappearing and re-appearing with an apparent death wish. he's shattering but he doesn't show it. maybe doesn't even know it. he's a bottom.

S: i am once again thinking unholy thoughts about that bastard laiel sparatus

Favorite moment

V: am i a bad person if i say it's his ass shot on menae but no really the "I'm the Primarch of Palaven?" moment is unparalleled cinematic moments in video games, I get chills just thinking about it

C: i really really really love the conversation between garrus and castis in the homeworlds comic. obviously that comic has done a number on me because i haven't known peace since i read it, but also just...the emotional impact of garrus calling his father and essentially saying "i'm dying." and castis just calmly trying to talk him out of it..... it hits hard.

S: when he gets Big Mad at you for hanging up on the council for the millionth time

Idea for a story

V: i may or may not be writing a story right now about victus and castis meeting after the war and talking about the war and being a father and pushing your sons to be what you need them to be instead of meeting them where they are and discussing old times in their field unit days and acting on old adolescent feelings for each other now that they're old and weary and tired and need Something Good

C: ok well i also have a wip about sidonis rescuing garrus's family on palaven, and it's mostly from sid's perspective, but i'm trying to explore castis's reaction to their conversations. he hears sid talking about garrus (without knowing that's who he is talking about -- sid knows who castis is but not the other way around) and it opens something up in him, makes him have some realizations of his own about his relationship with solana and garrus that he's already been struggling with (more on this below!) as well as putting the war in perspective in a way that sort of opens him up to victus, who's been messaging him from the normandy upon working with garrus and being unable to not be reminded of a young castis, and he messages castis hoping to find some tough love since they used to butt heads a lot in basic about their conflicting styles and he wants someone to be realistic about his situation as primarch, but they end up talking every night as sad dilfs do until they lose contact the night cipritine is attacked which happens to coincide with the whole tuchanka ordeal and..........well they're both spiraling after that and they deserve a very happy castis-vakarian-giving-the-primarch-of-palaven-a-handjob after that

S: that bastard laiel sparatus tells me to eat dirt and i do it wait what

Unpopular opinion

V: oh hmmmm idk i'm so bad at this section i'm sorry

C: I don't even think there are popular opinions about Castis for me to have the unpopular alternative to, so I'm using this as a free space to say that Castis Vakarian has an absolute dump truck ass

S: heads empty no thoughts i am but a vessel for The Urge every time this man is on screen

Favorite relationship

V: Tarquin

C: Garrus

S: i love the way some people write his relationship with Tevos and Valern!!

Favorite headcanon

V: Victus was a cautionary tale in the Vakarian household about Castis's "old friend Adrien" until he started climbing in the ranks and Castis realized Garrus's eyes lit up every time Victus was in the vids and his plan was backfiring

C: based on the way garrus talks about castis in me3, it seems like garrus thinks that it's himself who grew up a bit and comes around to taking his father's approach seriously when he goes to him with the reaper warning that castis takes to fedorian. i like to think that, actually, castis *has* changed a lot. the man threatened to lock up his own son right before he retires (timing can't be a coincidence, the man was exhausted) and then that son disappeared and only reappeared months later on the day of his apparent death on omega, only to survive and then disappear beyond an uncharted mass relay??? i have to imagine that when garrus finally comes around, castis is just... ready to listen now. he doesn't understand his son, but he worries that he won't get another chance. he can't lose him. so he sits down, and he listens.

S: Sparatus is aro ace and he has a mistress but isn't really sure why tbh???? She's very nice and they play chess together

Send me a character and I will answer these prompts about them

#i have a lot of feelings about castis vakarian ok!!!!!!!!!!#and a lot of wips about him too #ask game #khel babbles #castis vakarian #thank you anon thank you #long post

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misseffect · 2 years

Note

1, 3, 23 for the ask meme? 👀

thank you for the ask!! 💕

1. favourite fic you wrote this year

It's gotta be Flux; the one that started it all back up again after a 2-ish year break from writing.

I'm really chuffed with how it works as a standalone fic and the way it slots into the wider Normandy Detective Agency series, and I feel like I got the ✨vibe✨ right for the setting.

Basically it's the post-Sidonis angst I think we deserve, with more cigarettes and slow-dancing 😙👌

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

the next instalment of tNDA rip

@shepgarrus and I are currently pooling our collective braincells into a shakarian formula 1 probably human AU which I'd love to make into something publishable but. c'est la vie.

Key points for your consideration:

- baby Shep and Garrus growing up racing on the karting circuit together

- a friendship based on both a fierce, long-established rivalry and a genuine respect for the other persons' ability

- TV interview banter, publicity photos where they always manage to stand next to each other somehow, and internet speculation about whether they're fucking on the sly

- the inherent potential for angst in a very dangerous sport

- kick-ass afterparties

- sweaty post-race Shepard in a half-undone race suit 👀👀

- sweaty post-race Garrus with messy helmet hair 👀👀👀

3. favourite line/scene you wrote this year

oooooh tricky! I got this one twice so I'll pick one published and one unpublished.

Unpublished: introducing tNDA-verse Castis.

The part of AU - particularly human AU - that I love the most is picking apart the characters. What changes? What's essential about them? How does what we know about them already - their motivation, their backstory, the way they dress - translate into a new setting?

I put Castis through the human AU wringer and he came out an expensively-dressed defence lawyer from New York, who has a somewhat contentious relationship with his bull-headed son and he's also a DILF thank you for coming to my ted talk

Under the cut because it's Long (also part of a longer scene with Garrus which I’ve written but haven’t included)

Ask me more questions about fic!

"Garrus, your car's outside I know you're in there."

Nobody walks anywhere in LA. Shepard pounds the door with her fist again, and at last a key turns and the door opens.

"Christ - finally, I was - "

Shepard registers the cane first. Then the moustache.

"Uh - "

"Good morning," says the man who isn't Garrus.

He's in his mid-fifties, Shepard would guess, in brown suit pants, a white shirt and suspenders; all well-tailored and immaculately pressed. The cane is a subtle, glossy dark-wood thing with silver at the handle, glinting in his fist.

"Morning - sir," she adds hastily, because he seems like someone who's used to it. "I'm looking for - "

"Garrus? He went to get a paper."

"Oh," she says. Trust him to walk to the damn store. "Right."

They must be related. They've got the same nose, the same scratchy voice, the same lean build, though Garrus is a few inches taller.

"I can - uh - come back later," Shepard offers into the stretching silence.

"You seem in something of a hurry."

"It can wait."

If she's quick, she could catch Garrus his way home.

"You always knock with such vivacity, do you?"

The man has a benign, amicable sort of expression which Shepard knows better than to take at face value. His eyes are keen behind the pleasantries and she gets the feeling he's not going to let her get off easy.

So Shepard settles on a personable smile.

"I suppose so."

He returns the smile and it feels like she's passed some kind of test.

"Garrus won't be long. Come in - please - Miss - ?"

"Shepard. Jane Shepard - really, it's not - " But he's already standing aside and waving her in.

"Castis Vakarian. Coffee?"

Shepard resigns herself to not having the morning she expected. "That'd be great. Thanks."

So this is the infamous Vakarian patriarch. Shepard knows the name from the digging she did when they hired Garrus. Castis has the same East Coast lilt as his son, though much more pronounced, and there's an old-money look about him. He wouldn't seem out of place in a grand old colonial house out in the country.

#ask #tNDA #castis vakarian #Formula 1 AU #i love castis so much!!!!!! i'm so excited to write more of him (and solana. the most terrifying of the vakarians)

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swordsandshields99 · 3 years

Link

Chapters: 4/6 Rating: Mature Day 5 - We are Family - TW: Depictions of character death; grief @cactuarkitty

Chapter Summary: After the suicide mission, Garrus goes to visit his family, and his mother one last time. Regret, grief, family, and bitter-sweet, beautiful closure.

When Garrus awoke on the Octavian Frigate, he forgot where he was for a moment. It took him a bit to gather his surroundings, taking deep breaths and calming his subharmonics. It'd been so long since he wasn't either on Omega, or a Cerberus ship. He heard the loud engines of the Turian frigate, the familiar humming of 100 Turian subharmonics ringing throughout the ship. Right. Family. He was on his way to see his family. For the first time in, well almost 3 years. He had been about to book a flight for Palaven when his sister, Solana, texted him saying they wouldn't be there. They were on a colony near Sur'Kesh. Where the Helios Medical Institute was located.

His family would never know, that it was his donation of Collector tissues, all the credits he had, and a wonderful letter of clearance from Mordin, that was the reason his mother had qualified for the treatment. From his father and sister's perspective, an anonymous donation allowed room for one more Turian patient. They'd' never know it wasn't anonymous, and it wasn't a donation. Garrus was broker than broke after that payment. They'd never know that after the mission on Horizon, he would have begged Mordin to send a sample to help his mother. Luckily for him, he only had to ask and Mordin was more than happy to help. He also knew, that without the Salarian's clearance, it still wouldn't have been enough to get the project running in time to help his mom.

And even for all that, it still wasn't fast enough to truly help her. At first, it seemed it might slow down her disease. But only for a few months before she took a turn for the worse.

Garrus stood at the docking bay doors, waiting for his cab. When it arrived, he got in without a word and punched in the facility's name. The computer did the rest. He spent the drive trying to figure out what he would say. He had decided a long time ago not to inform his family about the money and the tissue samples. As much as it had done to help her, and as much as it had relieved his family from the pressures of trying to care for her at home, it was nothing compared to the fact that he wasn't there for them.

Yes, his mission this past year with Shepard was important. Important enough, or he wouldn't have done it. But the two years before that? Omega? No, not only could he not tell them about that anyway without enduring a shame he didn't think he could shoulder, he should have been at home. He should have been helping. So now what? Lie? Say that his past mission was three years instead of one?

There was no way in hell he would lie. Never to his family. Not to most, but never to them. So what? He knew, while his father might just be disappointed enough not to even ask, his sister would.

He stood outside the facility doors, before taking a deep breath and going in. He pulled up his omni-tool to send a group text.

G: Dad, Sol, I'm here. What room #?

D: Room 203

S: I'll come get you.

It only took Sol 45 seconds to enter the lobby, their father in tow behind her. He knew the second they saw him. Sol's shocked face, her mandible's splaying out in horror. His dad's pained subharmonics.

Sol didn't know. Couldn't have known. When he finally made contact again, he refused to vid-call, always coming up with excuses. And after he called his father right before he thought he was about to die, well maybe his father was expecting as much.

"Garrus," Sol said, a bit breathless. "Spirits, what happened to you?" Sol had grown up tough. Always trying to keep up with her big brother. And she always succeeded. Garrus wasn't sure what she did after her initial period of service, but even he didn't have the military clearance to know what she was up to. But in this moment, she was the most tender he had ever seen her. She reached her hand out tentatively, holding the side of his face that was horribly mangled and scarred. Her subharmonics were ringing, part sadness, part shock, and the smallest bit of 'ick'.

"Missile to the face," he said, the same joke (that wasn't actually a joke) he'd be making for the rest of his life.

Castis walked up to his son, head held high, hands clasped behind his back. "This happen after our phone call?"

Garrus' subharmonics wavered, sounding with a certain acceptance and gratefulness. His father's brow plates rose when he heard it. Perhaps the old man wasn't expecting gratitude at bringing up that phone call, but Garrus felt it none-the-less. He would always be grateful for that 50 second phone call. The one where his father gave him some peace when he thought he was in his final moments.

Castis could hear that from his son's subharmonics now. His hard exterior melted into a relieved one. Castis placed a hand on Garrus' shoulder, "It's good to have you back in one piece, Son." His own subharmonics rumbled with relief and, to Garrus' surprise, fatherly love.

Garrus fought down his emotions, "How's mom?"

They were both too silent. Garrus' knew that was answer enough. Sol's subharmonics wavered with regret and grief. His mother wasn't gone yet, but she would be soon. "Let's go see her," Castis said softly as he turned to lead his children to their mother's hospital room.

Garrus wasn't sure what he expected. The last time he saw his mother, she was forgetting things. She could never remember what she had just been doing, or where she left any of her things. She was forgetting who people were, like their neighbors. And it was so unlike her, his mother always with sharp wit and a sharper tongue, that it hurt all the more to see. Her hands and legs had been shaky, but if she concentrated she could control it. And that was three years ago. Corpalis Syndrome wasn't kind.

They entered the dimly lit room, monitor's beeping softly. "When she's sleeping, she's so peaceful that it's a relief. But, I always want her to wake up. So that I can be with her," Sol's second vocals wavered heavily, her subharmonics grief stricken. Hearing his sister cry was hard, even if they were both adults. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed.

Their mother gasped suddenly upon hearing them, her eyes shot open. She wheezed heavily, each breath a struggle. Her eyes darted around the room. Castis walked calmly to her side, "We're here, dear. You're alright."

"Who.. who are..." Garrus' mother began. If she didn't recognize Castis, there was no way in hell she'd recognize him. Especially with half his face blown off. "Ah... Cas-castis, dear." She stuttered horribly, her hands shaking uncontrollably as she tried desperately to clasp her bond-mate's hand. Castis reached out and held her hand tightly, but even that wasn't enough to stop the shaking. "Castis, I d-d-don't want t-to be h-h-here. P-please, where are we? T-t-take me home?!" Her voice was pain-stricken. Her subharmonics were wavering wildly, changing from scared to angry every other sentence. Garrus had never heard his mother sound scared a day in his life.

Garrus' felt Sol squeeze his hand as she whispered, "Dad thinks she's been waiting to see you Gar. She's been holding on."

Garrus' throat tightened and his hide itched at the thought. Had she? Spirits.

"We're here so you can be more comfortable, I promise my bonded," Castis said in a soothing tone.

"She'd want to be at home at the end. But the medicine is keeping her as comfortable as we can manage. Without it, she'd be in too much pain. Everything is just... shutting down so quickly," Sol said quietly.

"Look, bonded, the kids are here to see you."

Garrus' mother looked at the pair. "Kids... we have kids?"

Garrus felt horrified, but Sol acted like it was just another Tuesday. "Hi mom, it's Solana," his sister said as she approached the bed so her mother could see more clearly.

"Sol! When did you get here?" his mother said happily, chirping as if Sol was 10 years old. "Are you being good?"

"Yes, I promise," Solana said with a forced laugh. Sol looked back at him and gave him a forceful look.

So he stepped forward. "Hi mom, it's me, Garrus," he said, taking his sister's lead.

"Garrus. You're not Garrus," his mother said, furry in her eyes. "Not my Garrus." His mother looked at Castis then, "Garrus is at target practice out back, isn't that right Castis?"

"No dear, this is Garrus. Isn't he all grown up now? He's been away on a mission."

"A mission? My, aren't we so proud of him Castis," his mother said as she turned back to him. Suddenly, her eyes cleared and her subharmonics rang out with motherly affection and love. "Garrus... my Garrus. You've been hurt."

"Hey mom," Garrus said, relief flooding his bones. "Yeah, all better now though, promise."

She nodded. "You'll be alright. You'll see," she said with meaning behind the words. He felt like keening right then and there, but fought it down. She always knew what to say. She tried reaching out for him, so he got closer and held her other hand in his. "I love you, my son. I'm not sure what your mission was, or what your next one will be, but your mother always believes in you." And just as quickly as it came, the moment of clarity vanished. She wrenched her hand from his. "Who are you?" she said angrily. "Castis, where's Castis?!"

"I'm here," Castis said, grasping for control of his emotions. "I'm right here."

"Castis," she wheezed as she looked at her bond-mate. "It... it hurts."

Castis keened, his control slipping. He regained control of his vocals and subharmonics quickly and said, "I'll give you more medicine, bonded. Hold on."

"It hurts," his mother whispered. "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts." Her body stiffened and shook for a split second, and when she relaxed again continued quietly, "Castis, my hurt. My hurt. My hurt."

Castis fumbled with the button and pressed it twice, and slowly it seemed as if she had drifted to sleep. The family stood in silence for a moment before she whispered, "Castis. Take me to the window?"

"Bonded?" he asked, unsure if she was in her right mind or if she meant it.

"I long to see the stars again, just once," she wheezed.

Castis scooped her up in his arms, and Garrus saw just how tiny and fragile his mother was. Castis pinned down her arms, but her legs shook still. Garrus saw the cords getting pulled, so he pushed the medicine trolley behind them.

Castis brought her to the window and opened the curtains. Garrus thanked the Spirits the stars were visible that night. His mother gazed at the bright stars for a few silent moments with his father before she turned her head into Castis' chest and whispered, "Starlight and dancing?"

Castis chuckled softly. "Starlight and dancing. Always."

Garrus wasn't sure what it meant, but it was clearly meaningful to them.

The slow and erratic beeping of her heart monitor slowed. Castis went rigid, and Garrus heard the low, mournful rumblings of grief begin to form in his father's subharmonics. They listened to the heart monitor in silence, until 5 minutes later, it stopped. A Salarian doctor came to the door, and without disturbing anyone in the room, checked his mother's pulse. He made a note in his omni-tool. "I'm sorry," the doctor said quietly, and left the room.

Castis collapsed in the chair near the window, still holding his bond-mate in his arms. The rumble that Garrus heard earlier grew louder and louder until the subharmonics were nearly deafening. Garrus wasn't sure how humans couldn't hear something so loud. Something so utterly bone shattering. Solana began keening quietly, and he drew her close, hugging her tightly. And Garrus did what he always did. He shut it off. All of it. He clamped down as hard as he could on his subharmonics and was silent.

After 30 minutes passed, Solana's keening died down as she said, "I guess she was waiting for you."

And just like that, he shattered. He dropped to his knees and put his head in his hands, keening louder than he ever had as a child. He felt Sol kneel down beside him and embrace him as she too keened, but more softly. He felt his fathers hands on them, his subharmonics naturally rumbling comforting tones to his children. Garrus wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but eventually he came back to himself. Sol had fallen asleep, so he picked her up and set her in the chair next to them. He looked over at the bed. His father must have placed their mother their before coming to them.

A different Salarian with a lab coat came in then. "I'm sorry for you loss, Vakarian clan. I wish there was more that could have been done." The Salarian turned to Garrus. "She was lucky to have such a devoted son. With your permission, the Institute would appreciate keeping the samples and donations you sent. While we are incredibly sorry that it was not in time to help your mother, the research we are conducting now with the tissue samples you sent will most certainly help us find a cure, and many others in the future will be spared."

Garrus nodded his head numbly.

"Thank you, Mr. Vakarian." The Salarian turned to Castis. "Senior Vakarian, please take your time here. When you are ready, please indicate what you would like our next steps to be. We can take care of her here, or send her home to Palaven, but we must prepare her either way."

Castis nodded, and the Salarian left.

"What?" Sol suddenly asked. She must have woken from the Salarian.

"What?" Garrus asked.

"Samples and donations?"

Shit, he thought. Garrus sighed. His mind was fuzzy, and he didn't have the capacity to think clearly at the moment. He shook his head, trying to clear it.

"Garrus," his father said, his subharmonics sounding panicked. "Tissue samples... yours? Son, do you have Corpalis?" His father's second vocals wavered so intensely Garrus worried he might fall over. Sol's subharmonics joined in with panic.

"No! No. No, the... the samples, I," it took more than he had to explain the collectors right now.

"Son, please, I," Castis started.

"No, I promise, I don't. The tissue samples are... they're Collector tissue samples. I worked with an STG agent when we acquired them. We believed they showed capabilities to cure some neurological diseases. And it turns out we were right. I thought I'd have to wait until we went through Omega-4, but the Collectors came early. Sent in the tissue samples, with the Agent's approval to move ahead with the Institue's Corpalis project."

Castis was visibly relieved, and his knuckles turned white as he gripped the back of his chair. "Spirits," he said softly, his eyes closing.

"You... you did all that for mom?" Sol whispered. "And, donations?"

Garrus sighed, hanging his head heavily. He hadn't wanted this. Still didn't want this. "Every credit I've earned the past 3 years has gone to getting mom into the project." He stood angrily. "And it was all for nothing. I wasn't... I wasn't fast enough. It wasn't enough." His hands balled into fists, so tight his talons broke skin.

He felt Sol's hand on his arm. "Garrus, even if Dad and I had been able to save for 10 years, we couldn't have paid for mom's treatment. Do you have anything left?"

"I sold my apartment, and everything I own, and took every job I could take. And my last mission was assigned to be a suicide mission. I wasn't supposed to come back from that, but it paid well. Well enough to pay for 75% of the treatment."

"So, the missile incident wasn't even the suicide mission?" Castis said.

Garrus shook his head, "No, just a job gone wrong."

"I'm sorry," Sol said abruptly.

"For what, Sol?" he murmured.

"When we spoke before your last mission, I... well I thought you had just abandoned us. I was so harsh... so mean, and you were on your way to what, die in a mission while saving mom? Garrus, I had no idea."

"Sol, you couldn't have known. And even if you had known, you were still right. I wasn't here. Wasn't here for her."

"G, you were here for her. Fighting for her every day. You heard her, she believed in you. She knew you. You were doing what we couldn't. That's what families do."

Before he could argue, his father cut in. "Garrus, you said it was for nothing, that it wasn't fast enough," Castis said with a sigh. "Before she came here, it was worse than what you saw today. We weren't equipped.. I.. wasn't equipped to handle your mother's care. She needed around the clock care and medicine. She was lingering, not bad enough to die, but bad enough to be in constant misery. She couldn't talk, at all. Not at all. This treatment saved us. It saved her. Saved her spirit, her dignity, gave her peace and relief from the pain. It gave her," Castis choked up, "it gave her a much better end than what we could have given her. I would've given anything for that, for her." He walked up to his son, "Not enough? Garrus, it was everything."

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